#if you thought i would say car think again

[clockwayswrites]

The Birdritch's Nest part 25

masterpost

“That is a lot of plants,” Jason said. He swept his eyes over the space as he slipped his lock picks back into their little pouch.

“He has a botanist friend, apparently, and she keeps giving him plants,” Dick explained as he squeezed past Jason and into the apartment.

“Why are you here again?”

“Because I have a car which is better to carry all of Danny’s stuff in than your bike,” Dick explained. He went over to the wall of plants in front of the windowed corner and squinted down at something on his phone.

Jason pulled out his own phone to glance at what Tim had sent. “You say ‘all Danny’s stuff’ like the list was long. The guy hasn’t exactly been demanding.”

“The ‘guy’ expects to actually go home in a few days,” Dick pointed out.

“And is an adult and so can, you know, actually go home,” Jason retorted.

“Damian’s attached.”

“…I concede to your point,” Jason said once that thought sunk in. “Double the clothing asked for?”

“Basically. Make sure that he has a weeks worth, Alfred can always do laundry,” Dick said before letting out a little noise of triumph and doing something over by the plants. “There, watering system turned on.”

“Congratulations, you’re a genius,” Jason drawled. “Now go get his medication gathered up and snoop a little while you’re at it.”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to be snooping,” Dick, words a teasing sing-song as he passed by.

Jason flicked him off. “Like you wouldn’t anyways. I just want to know what you find.”

“Only if you tell me what you find in the bedroom.”

“Deal.”

The bedroom was almost startlingly normal after the plant filled living main room. It didn’t look like Danny really spent much time in it beyond sleeping. The bed was absentmindedly fixed, a black down comforter over pale blue sheets. There was a paperback on the nightstand next to a lamp and a pocket sized notebook with a pen clipped onto the bent and battered cover.

It was the first thing that Jason picked up.

The notebook was obviously where Danny made notes when he was already settled in bed. As Jason flipped through the pages there was everything from to-do lists to invention ideas to… a lot of thought about wings. Jason turned the notebook in his hands. That page wasn’t in English. The language felt like it was on the tip of Jason’s tongue but he just couldn’t get it out.

Maybe some sort of dialect?

Jason couldn’t actually read it, but there was enough to piece together from similarities that tugged on his memory. Enough to understand it was about the wings. Something about the process of change? Aging?

“Hey Jay?” Dick interrupted, scattering Jason’s thoughts. “Can you read the label on these bottles? There’s some serious printing issues happening, I can’t even tell what language it’s in.”

The pill bottle felt oddly cold in Jason’s hand when he took it from Dick, but maybe the bathroom just had shit heating in this place. It would be just like Gotham builders to mess that up.

“Oh, that’s the same thing Danny is writing in here,” Jason said passing the notebook to Dick. “It’s something about wings and getting old, I think, but I can’t really read it.”

“Read it? I don’t even know what it is. Gives me a headache just to look at it,” Dick grumbled as he flipped through the notebook. “The whole bird thing has really been on his mind, hasn’t it?”

Jason gave a little huff. “Do you blame him? The guy has wings now. It would be on my mind too.”

“Yeah… guess I really can’t,” Dick said and snapped a picture of the page with the unknown writing to send to the group chat. “Any idea what it is?”

“Nope. It’s like it’s a distant dialect or that it uses some of the same alphabet of something I learned some of once. Like how Chinese and Japanese use some of the same characters, you know?” Jason explained as he opened the side table drawer and then quickly closed it again. That was more than he needed to know about Danny. “Maybe something from when I was catatonic in the league, who knows. There were a lot of languages in that place.”

“Cass or Damian might now it then,” Dick said as he eyed the drawer Jason had now moved away from.

“Don’t, trust me,” Jason said. “Did you get the medications you needed to grab?”

“Yeah, they’re in the bag. Just a standard bathroom, really. Though he keeps his toothbrush in this old mug with a hero I don’t recognize on it, someone called Phantom.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell, but it sure sounds like a hero name. Add it to the list,” Jason said as he started on gathering up the requested clothing and extra enough to last a week. “Check the closet to see if there are any shits in there that work around wings.”

Jason rolled his eyes as Dick threw the closet doors open dramatically and focused on his task. Jeans, sweatpants, underwear, what he guessed was pajamas were all added to the bag.

“So, nothing that looks like it was made for wings,” Dick said and tossed some normal shirts and a few sweaters into the bag. Jason sighed and folded them neatly. “Maybe he hasn’t had time to find any yet? It hasn’t been that long since the bird thing and seems it all started there. Or maybe he’s just always home when he’s had then?”

“Better let Alfred know then. He’ll want to get something as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, good point,” Dick agreed.

While Dick stepped out of the bedroom to call Alfred, Jason took the time to double check the list. It really was pretty basic. Jason didn’t know if Danny was just trying to not be demanding or if the guy didn’t need much, but Jason went ahead and put the bedside paperback and notebook in the bad too. Jason slung the duffel bag Dick had brought over his shoulder (he totally could have ridden his bike like this) and took a little bit of time to snoop through Danny’s bookcase while Dick finished the call. Sci-fi, horror, old text books, and a ton of notebooks filled the shelf with knickknacks and a few figures. Jason at least had to give Danny points for having some of the sci-fi classics, even if the range of works was pretty limited.

“Okay, Alfred is on it,” Dick said. “Anything else we need to do?”

“Nah, I think we’re good,” Jason said. Something made him not want to look through the notebooks, like they had already done enough snooping. It was an odd feeling. “Let’s get going, I’m hungry for whatever dinner is.”

“You’re always hungry,” Dick said.

Jason shrugged rather than dealing with how true that statement was. “I’m a growing boy.”

“You’re a trash pit.”

“Yeah, you want to go there, cereal boy?”

“Leave my cereal out of it!”

---

AN: I do love writing Dick & Jason so much. Can you tell I have an older brother? Also sorry for the mistakes I'm sure are abounding. Guess who turns out to be anemic? This critter! Maybe getting that fixed will help...

[radical-community-care]

tbh when I first saw the sentence "Activism is not cold-calling" I thought it was gonna go in a different direction. I fully agree with the post! and it reminds me of the advice on how to build community that is about *listening* to people first and actually engaging them in what they care about instead of rattling off some points YOU care about.

so for example, instead of going to Moderate Jason saying "Hello comrade do you have a minute to talk about socialism and how billionaires' taxes should pay for bike lanes!?" just have a normal conversation and ask them what kind of problems bother them or what difficulties they have to deal with in their day to day lives. and you actually listen and ask questions and care about what they think and see if you can find any common ground. maybe the two of you (or them and someone else you know) face a similar problem or one with the same root cause or with the same solution.

and this is not about getting them to parrot talking points or use the same kind of political language you do or join your group - this is about getting them to consider that maybe there are approaches to their problems that are community focused rather than individualistic, that are about shared humanity rather than pointing fingers at scapegoats, that are pushing towards flatter hierarchies rather than more authoritarianism.

again, they might not use or like all those particular words. maybe they'll say "back in my day, I would bike to school, it's a shame that's not safe anymore for my kids to do now." and then you two together can brainstorm ideas of what might be done about that in your specific circumstances. and you do what you can to help with it! whether you teach them about citizens initiatives or organise a "kiddical mass" (bike demo with kids) or whatever else fits.

but of course bike lanes might not be important to Moderate Jason at all. it's just one example. maybe they're a car nut and care about right to repair. or maybe they like sitting at home watching tv and care about avoiding ads and trackers, or about media depiction and representation of characters with a marginalised trait they or someone they care about has.

chances are, you will find *something* they want to talk about that is influenced by "politics" in a wider sense. and you can just mention how you see these issues or what you can think of that might help.

it helps to practice this approach in your head or with like-minded friends: go through all kinds of different things people care about and think how those could be done better in your utopia. and what might be small steps from here to there.

I do that with fiction constantly. from sitcoms to epic sff, I often go "how would I propose this group or society handle things/ what would I do to make their world a better, more just place?" Or just revelling in how cool the heroes are that they actually do good things (and remembering those tactics and figuring out how to apply them to the real world)

Activism is not cold-calling.

Activism is not cold-calling, and this is critically important to understand.

I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about 'building bridges' and 'finding community,' and then (extremely valid) response posts saying "BUT HOW??" And I'm going to explain something that can be very counter-intuitive: there is strategy involved in community.

As a longtime volunteer labour organizer, I’ve taken and taught many trainings on the strategy of talking. Something that surprises a lot of people is the very first thing you do in a union campaign. You sit down with your organizing committee, take out pen and paper, and literally map it out. You draw a physical map of the workplace: where are the entrances, exits, break rooms, supervisor offices. Essentially, ‘where is it safe to have a union conversation.’ Then you draw another physical chart of your coworkers. You sort out who is union-friendly, openly hostile to unions, or somewhere in the middle, and then you plan out very deliberately and carefully who talks to whom and in what order.

Consider: If Vocally Leftist Jane walks up to Conservative David and says "hey what do you think about unions," David is going to shut down immediately. He's not inclined to listen to Jane. But if Jane talks to Moderate Jason and brings him into the fold, then Jason is a far more effective strategic choice to talk to David, and David may actually hear him out without an instant reaction.

IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If Conservative David turns out to be Alt-Right David, and could be dangerous to follow organizers, we write him off. We are not trying to reach Alt-Right David. We are trying to reach Conservative David, who may actually be persuaded to find solidarity with other employees as fellow workers. Jason is a safe scout to find out which one he is. It does no one any good if Leftist Jane (or even Moderate Jane who is a visible minority) talks to Alt-Right David and puts herself on his radar. Not only has she done nothing to convince Alt-Right David to join a union - she's probably actively turned him against the idea - but now she's also in danger and the entire campaign is at risk. NOBODY WANTS THIS. Jane was NOT a hero for doing this. The organizing committee was foolish and enacted a terrible strategy to everyone's detriment.

Where you can make a difference is with people who will listen to you. You having a conversation with your well-meaning but clueless Centrist Democrat Auntie, and maybe gently helping her understand some things the media has been glossing over, is way more strategically useful than you marching up to MAGA Neighbour You've Met Once and trying to "build community" or "understand" them. They don't care. They're impervious, dangerous, and cruel. But maybe your beloved auntie will think about what you said, and then talk to her friend Anna who IDs as "fiscally conservative" but didn't vote because she can't bring herself to get on board with Trump. Then perhaps Anna talks to her brother Nic who has MAGA leanings but isn't all the way there yet. Proto-MAGA Nic would not have listened to you, nor would he have listened to Centrist Democrat Auntie, but he might absorb some of what his sister is saying.

This is not a cop-out or an echo chamber. This is you spending your time and energy strategically and safely. You are not a useful activist to anyone if you’re dead. Anyone who is telling you to hurl yourself directly at MAGA assholes like cannon fodder has no understanding of the strategy behind community building, and you should feel comfortable writing them off.

Last point: If you are tired, emotionally devastated, and/or in danger: take a break. This post is for people who would feel better jumping into action, not for people who are too overwhelmed to even think about it right now. You are worth so much even if you’re not actively Doing Activism, and your rest is worth more than “a break period so you can recharge and Do More Activism.” We all deserve the individual dignity of being worthy of comfort, rest & safety just on the basis of being human, outside of whatever we're doing for others' benefit. To deny ourselves that dignity is to devalue ourselves, and that’s the absolute last thing any of us should be doing right now.

[steddieprompts]

Another mini fic. cutesy. Eddie is an idiot. 1880 words.

Thanksgiving, 1986.

Eddie smiled into the phone as Joyce listed off all the people who were going to be at their early Thanksgiving.  “Argyle is flying in from California, and Dustin is bringing his mom.  You and your uncle should come! The more the merrier!”

“That sounds great, Mrs. Byers.  We’d love to.”  Eddie replied.

“Oh good!  Remember, Friday at 3:30, we’ll eat at 4:30.”

“We’ll be there.”

Eddie hung up the phone and left a note for Wayne.  He wouldn’t be home until 4 in the morning.  Eddie was sure he would have something to say about it.  “Ain’t got nothin’ to bring,” or “Three’s a crowd, not sure what to call twenty.”  But he would go. Hopper would have a glass of whisky for him, and they would sit out on the porch after dinner swapping war stories.

What worried Eddie more was his… situation with Steve.  See, earlier in the week he and Steve had gone to the movies.  They had had a nice time, a really good time, even, and for a few months Eddie had sensed something building between them.  He just couldn’t believe it was anything close to what he deeply, deeply hoped for.  He was so in his head about it that after the movies, when Steve dropped him back at the trailer, Eddie panicked.  Acted like a virgin idiot, really.  Steve had parked the car, glanced up at the dark trailer before turning towards Eddie.

“I had a really good time tonight.”  He had said.

“Uh, yeah, it was nice.”  Eddie replied, tense in his seat because he could sense something coming from Steve.

“Yeah, nice.”  Steve mused and then Eddie made the fatal mistake of looking at him.  Steve was sort of leaning towards him, elbow on the armrest between the seats, head tilted ever so slightly, eyes soft.

“Yup!”  Eddie squeaked out and then grabbed the door handle, throwing the door open and tripping out of the car like he was being chased by the devil.  “We should, uh, do it again sometime.  Bye!”  He bumbled out before slamming the door and launching himself up the porch stairs and into the trailer.

He hadn’t really talked to Steve since.

+++++++

So, that Friday, when he and Wayne were welcomed into the Byers’ home, he wasn’t sure what to expect.  Wayne was immediately pulled away by Hopper and a glass of whiskey, leaving Eddie to shuffle awkwardly towards the living room.  Once the kids saw him, he had something to keep him occupied, until all the hugs were given out and Nancy brought him a drink.  He hadn’t seen Steve yet.

“Uh, where’s Max?  Not here yet?”  Eddie asked as he accepted the drink.

“Oh!  She’s with Will and El in the kitchen.  They’re helping Mrs. Byers with the cooking,” Nancy explained.

“I should go say hi.”  Eddie stepped away from the living room towards the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks when he got to the threshold.  There, next to Mrs. Byers at the stove, was Steve, with his knit, red sweater and a towel over his shoulder, like some sort of Christmas romance movie hero.

“Eddie’s here!”  He heard Will say before he could tear his eyes away from Steve, who, of course, turned around as soon as he heard Eddie’s name.  Bemused, he watched a smile spread over Steve’s face before Will enveloped him in a hug.  A hug that Eddie graciously returned.

“Sir William, it is an honor to be welcomed into your abode.” Eddie said with a little bow, before hugging Max and El.

“Eddie!  We’re so glad you made it!”  Joyce said from the stove as Eddie took another few cautious steps into the room.  “Is your uncle here too?”

“Uh, yeah, he’s with Hopper tending the fire,” Eddie relied, “Thank you, again, for having us.”

“Of course, sweetheart!”

Eddie chanced another look at Steve.

“Hey, Eddie,” Steve said, eyes warm, easy smile.

“Hey, Stevie,” Eddie replied.  Maybe he hadn’t totally fucked everything up as much as he thought.  But Steve seemed quiet, reserved. Maybe he had.

“I think about ten more minutes!”  Joyce said, pulling the turkey out of the oven.  “I need Hop to come carve the turkey.  Hop!”  She yelled out into the noisy living room.

“I’ll go find him, Mrs. B,” Eddie volunteered before ducking out of the kitchen… and right into Robin.

“You.” she said, jabbing a finger into his chest.

“Uh, hello to you too, Bobin.”

“What the hell did you do to Steve?”

Eddie’s heart dropped into his shoes.  “I… what? Nothing!”

“He’s been mopey for the past five days!  The last thing he did was go to the movies with you!”

“I swear!”

“Did you say something about his hair?  You know his last haircut didn’t really go the way he planned.  Or was it the movie?  Did you tell him you didn’t want to see Hoosiers?  Because you know how much he wanted to see that movie.”

“No! Buckley, we saw Hoosiers! And I didn’t even notice his hair.  Look…”  Eddie let out his breath in a huff.  “Just hold on.”  Eddie moved from the hallway to the living room so he could see Hopper.  “Hey, chief?  The missus needs you to carve the bird.”  Hopper nodded to him and Eddie turned on his heel to go back to his conversation with Robin, only to come face to face with the woman herself.  It was a miracle he didn’t spill his drink down her shirt.  “Ok, look, come here.”  Eddie murmured, dragging her off into a corner of the hall.

He took a sip of his drink and steeled himself.  “Ok, I might have, maybe, panicked, a little when he dropped me off,” Eddie mumbled out.

“You what?”

“Look, you can’t tell anyone, but I’ve got this stupid… fat… stupid crush on Harrington and I might have, like, freaked out about it.”

“…you what…”

“I know it’s stupid! But he looked so… soft! And just.  Like he might have, I don’t know, wanted to kiss me or something, but there is no way that could have been what was happening, but my stupid primate brain thought it was, so I bolted, Okay?  I’m not proud of it. It probably came off as weird and rude and that’s probably what got him all twisted up.”  Eddie took a deep breath after his rant, and then a sip of his drink, watching Robin’s face cycle through uncountable emotions.

“Edward, I say this with the utmost sympathy as well as disrespect.  You, are an idiot.”  And with that she left him blinking in the hallway.

Eddie thought about those two little sentences throughout the entire dinner.  An idiot?  He knew he was an idiot, but why?  Because he thought Steve maybe liked him?  Or because he didn’t kiss Steve?  What the hell did she mean?  Not to mention Steve was across the table from him and every time Eddie looked up, Steve would look away from him like he had been staring.

“Eddie!”

“Huh?!” Eddie tore his eyes away from Steve to look at Dustin.

“I was asking if we were still on for our campaign next week.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m almost done.  Just need to iron out the kinks.”  Eddie replied, feeling Steve’s gaze burning into the side of his head, but when he looked back Steve’s eyes were back on his plate.  He had been uncharacteristically quiet when Eddie was in the kitchen.  Was he mad at Eddie?  No, that couldn’t have been it; he gave Eddie that smile that nearly made him forget where he was.

Steve was being cautious. Guarded. So unlike himself.

Eddie really had screwed up.

“In the drama room?”  Eddie heard Dustin say, distantly.

“Uh-huh,” Eddie answered, eyes not leaving Steve, who kept glancing up at him.

He had to fix this.  He wanted the old Steve back.  Wanted more than that, if his luck was with him.

After everyone had eaten and Mrs. Henderson was bringing out the pies, Joyce started to gather the plates.

“I’ve got it, Mrs. B.  You sit.”  Eddie said, standing and gathering the plates around him.  “Stevie, you wanna help me with dish duty?”  He asked, sending up a little prayer to the universe that his stupid, little, half-baked plan would work.  Steve nodded and started gathering the plates on his side.

In the kitchen, plates stacked high on the counter next to the sink, Eddie stood with his hands in the soapy water, the sound of his extended family floating in from the dining room, and Steve next to him with a towel in his hands, drying the dishes Eddie handed him.

“About Monday night…” Eddie started hesitantly.  He saw Steve freeze next to him.  He kept his gaze on the dish he was washing. If he looked at Steve he might choke again.  “I… Shit, I don’t know what happened. I just… well I thought maybe there was something, I don’t know, between us.  But I’m not good at reading those signs, ya know?  Not much experience.”  He heard himself chuckle wryly, before clearing his throat.  At least Steve was unfrozen, listening and drying a casserole dish.  “But it’s not about that, not really.  I shouldn’t have just… bolted like that.  I can’t pretend to understand what was happening, but whatever it was, that was a pretty shitty reaction on my part.  And I’m sorry, Stevie.” 

He kept washing the dish in his hands, watching out of the corner of his eye as Steve put the casserole dish down.

“Eddie, look at me.”  Eddie turned his head, meeting Steve’s gaze.  His warm, gentle, beautiful gaze.  “it’s not all your fault.”

“Oh…”  Eddie let out a little noise.  That didn’t answer any of his questions, but he couldn’t look away.  He couldn’t look away as Steve stepped closer.  Couldn’t look away as Steve took the dish out of his hands and gave him the towel.

“Come on,” Steve said, nodding over his shoulder towards the back door.  Eddie quickly dried his hands and followed Steve outside to the back porch.  The air was frosty, the lightest dusting of snow on the handrail and tiny flakes dancing in the dim porch light.  “I should have…”  Steve settled his hip against the porch rail, looking down at his nails.  “I should have been more up front with you.”  He said, finally looking at Eddie.

Shit.  Steve was going to try to let him down easy.  He knew he read it wrong.

“I really, really like you, Eddie.”  What? “And I’ve never really felt this way about a guy,” What?? “Let alone a friend.  And I’ve been so scared of ruining what we have.  I should have just told you.” Excuse me?

“Wait.”  Eddie let out a little, exasperated laugh, reeling it back in when Steve winced. “Stevie, you like me?”  Steve just nodded.  “Did you really want to kiss me? Monday night?”  Steve nodded again.  Eddie took a steadying breath, “do you still?”

There was a pause… and then…

That soft, warm, smile that made Eddie feel like he was made of sunlight.

“Yeah,” Steve barely got out before Eddie launched himself at him, cupping Steve’s cheeks, kissing him until he knew that smile by feel alone.

Happy Thanksgiving.

[hadersversion]

‘tis the damn season.

“so we could call it even, you could call me babe for the weekend.”

pairing: rafe cameron x pogue! reader

warnings: 18+, SMUT, p in v, fingering, begging, overstimulation, use of babe....let me know if i forget anything lol. ALSO in some places in america, thansgiving eve is literally just a holiday to get drunk in your hometown

your home for the holidays for the first time in years. you've been avoiding rafe, the reason you've been away for so long, but after seeing him again all the old feelings come back. when rafe sends a text one night, you end up in the back of his truck like old times.

i parked my car out front of my childhood home, staring at the old exterior.

somethings never change.

being back in the outer banks felt strange. it has been a while since i have been back, avoiding come home for as long as i can. but with a few begging phone calls from my mom and kiara, here i am.

i knock on my front door and am greeted with a bright smile.

"jj?" i ask, confused.

"welcome home, stranger." he says, with a hug and grabbing my bag.

i walk into my living room and see the pogues, sitting with my mom. a homemade 'welcome home' banner hanging above their heads.

my mom comes over and gives me a big hug. "i thought i would never see this face again." she says with a squeeze.

"boston isn't that far, mom." i tell her but i know she would never leave the outer banks. never in a million years. i turn towards the others and smile. "i wonder who could've put this together?" i say, looking at kiara.

"hey it wasn't all me, pope was the one who brought it up." she says, engulfing me in her arms.

"guilty." pope chimes in, joining the hug. i feel jj and john b join in as well. my family.

we break away and hang out in the living room, catching up.

"don't tell me you went all city on us, y/n." john b pokes fun at me.

"not completely. but it is nice having more things to do than hang on the beach and smoke." i wink.

"who could want more than that?" jj asks, making us all laugh.

"speaking of," kiara starts. "there's a little thanksgiving eve celebration happening at the wreck. just some people from high school. nothing big."

"just a chance to get drunk of our asses and go to dinner the next day hungover." jj says, causing kiara to nudge him.

"what do you say? want to join us?" i look around the room at my friends, all eager waiting for my response. with a sigh, i nod and they all cheer. "thank god, i don't think i could've done that alone."

i smile and nod. it should be fun, it will be. but my brain can't help to wonder if the one person who's kept me away from coming home will be there. no, he wouldn't. not with the pogues. but a part of me can't help but hope to see his face.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

i fix my sweater in the mirror in my room, my body fidgeting from anxiety. it's been a few days and i still can't shake that feeling from my body about being home. sure, i'm happy but this place holds so many memories. memories i wish to bury. i stare at the photo booth picture tucked into my mirror of him and i. i guess i forgot to hide this with the rest of the stuff. i take it off the mirror and sigh, examining it.

almost four years since it was taken. almost four years since we called it quits. and yet, he still haunts my memories. his presence making itself known through cheap beer at the bar, expensive men's cologne at the mall, exhaust that leaves motorbikes as they ride down the street. he's always there, whether i like it or not.

the sound of a horn breaks me free of my thoughts.

"y/n, they're here!" my mom calls from downstairs.

"coming!" i open my dresser drawer and slip the photo in before racing downstairs. i kiss my mom on the cheek and slip out the door, rushing into the van.

"ready to get fucked up?" jj asks with his devilish smirk.

i roll my eyes and laugh. "let's go."

we pull up to the wreck, it's already dark outside and a slight breeze fills the air. we all hurry in, greeted by familiar faces. my name is called from every direction, old friends from high school or the beach. all my fellow pogues who i know and love. when i'm done making my rounds, i head over to our table. everyone has some drink in their hand, beer or cocktail, and they all smile up at me.

"who would've though little y/n y/l/n would be a pogue celebrity?" pope jokes.

i flip him off and slide in next to john b. kiara hands me a beer and i take a sip. "i'm not a celebrity, i'm just one of the only people from this island who actually made it off."

they all make jokes at my despair, teasing me in any way they could when sarah walks up. i feel my stomach flip and i smile at her. "y/n!" she embraces me. "i'm so happy to see you!"

i hug her back and smile. "me too, sar. how's everything been?"

"the usual but i can't complain." she sits next to me and lays her head on my shoulder. "it's been forever."

"it has." i sigh. "it really has."

we all share stories and laugh around the table. we take shots, chug beer, and play different drinking games. just like old times sake.

"i need another beer." i say with a slight slur in my voice, standing up. "anyone else?" everyone shakes their head as i excuse myself.

i walk up to the bar and wait my turn, twirling my debit card in my hand. it could be the alcohol but i feel content and happy to be home.

"y/n?"

until that moment.

i don't want to turn around, i don't even want to accept my fate in this situation.

i know that voice, i could recognize it in a crowd of millions of people. it was the voice that lingered in my dreams, my thoughts.

i turn around and look at the man.

"rafe."

he looks older, his hair buzzed and some facial hair covering his face. but those eyes. they are the same eyes of the boy i loved.

we stood there, not saying a word. just taking the sight of one another in.

"i didn't know you were home." he says, not breaking eye contact.

i nod, biting my lip. "i am, i got home monday."

he chuckles to himself and shakes his head. "how long you here for?"

"till saturday. then i'm going back to boston." my throat feels scratchy and my face is on fire. i want to be anywhere but here now.

his eyes continue to study me. "two more budweiser's, please." he says to the bartender. i open my mouth to protest but he shakes his head. "on me, think of it as a welcome home gift."

the bartender hands me the beer and i smile. i turn back to rafe and tip the bottle to him. "thanks."

"no problem." he clinks his bottle to mine. we both take a long sip. my eyes are desperately trying to find a place to land, ending up on the bright sign above the bar. but rafe's are still on me.

"you okay?" kiara asks as she walks behind rafe. she is my gurdian angel.

"yeah, just waiting for my beer. excuse me." i squeeze past rafe and walk back to my table. i look back at him and smiles. i hate him.

a few drinks more and my ears are ringing. it was loud and everyone was far too drunk. i excuse myself for air outside. there are a few people lingering, smoking cigarettes or waiting for ubers. i smile and take in the nostalgia.

"you know, it would've been nice to know you were home." i hear rafe's voice next to me.

i roll my eyes and look up at him. "oh, would it have been? sorry, i didn't think you'd care." i say coldly. that liquid courage is taking control.

he looks down at me. "and why would i have not cared?"

"hmm, let me think." i put my finger to my chin. "oh, right. 'don't ever contact me again. we're so over. i wish i never met you. blah. blah. blah.' do you want me to go on?" i say to him.

i watch as he processes what i said to him, the words of our last fight. he looks guilty, for once in his life. "that was years ago, y/n. w-we were just kids."

"oh, really? then why haven't i heard from you for the past few years? phone works both ways, rafe." i say, shrugging.

he stands there quietly, i got him.

"how's school been?" he asks, nonchalantly.

"are you for real?" i ask.

"what? i'm being nice." he says.

i huff with frustration. "you are such an ass." i push pass him and walk onto the sidewalk.

"where are you going?" he asks, following after me.

"away from you." i say, not looking back.

i hear him run up behind me and he gently grabs my arm. "y/n. y/n, stop."

i turn to look at him. "what do you want from me, huh? you want to torture me even more?"

he stares at me, hand still on my arm. "what? of course not. y/n, i missed you."

"fuck off." i spit out without thinking.

"you're drunk."

"and you're an asshole." i say, flatly. "you...you fucking broke my heart and you expect me to act like everything is fucking dandy?"

"y/n." he tries to plead his case.

"no, rafe. you don't get to waltz in here and act like everything is okay with us. do you know how much you fucked me over? one day you're telling me you love me and you want to move to boston with me and the next, you're dumping me over the phone." i poke his chest. "i did everything you wanted, i kept what we had between us a secret, i took care of you. and nothing was enough for you."

he looks down at his feet in guilt. "i-i know, i'm sorry. i was...i was fucked up back then. with my dad on my case and the drinking...i wasn't okay. i felt like..." he cut himself off.

"what, rafe? you felt like, what?" i ask.

"like i was going to hold you back, alright?" he raises his voice. "you are too good for this place, for me. i didn't want to hold you back. i loved you too much to do that to you." i stare at him and laugh. "what? what's so fucking funny?"

"you, rafe. you." i sigh. "instead of being a man and handling your emotions, you ran and hid. we could've worked that out. but you were too scared." i close my eyes and shake my head. "goodbye, rafe."

i walk down the street, hugging my body as the wind blows. a weight has been lifted off my shoulders but there's still that feeling i get whenever i think of him. that feeling that i miss him.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

thanksgiving flew by, even though i had a hangover that felt like it would last a lifetime.

i helped my mom clean up the kitchen as the pogues did the dishes and took the trash out. just like old times.

once we were done, we sat outside around the bonfire. you would think after yesterday, drinking would come to a halt but jj found a bottle of vodka in the freezer and mixed it with kiara's apple cider. we all enjoyed each other's company but my mind could not help but wander. my last conversation with rafe ringing through my head.

"instead of being a man and handling your emotions, you ran and hid."

i shake my head and take a sip of my spiked cider. as much as it rang true, there was still that part of me that wonders 'what if?'. the more i thought about it, the more i wanted to pick up my phone.

no, i need to be the bigger person. i'm stronger than that. i can't text him first.

then i felt my phone buzz in my lap.

rafe: hey

i stare at the text and bite my lip. i know i should ignore it, let it go unread. but my fingers work against my brain and type 'hi' back to him. i sit there, eagerly waiting for a response.

rafe: can we talk?

rafe: i'm sorry about last night, i'm a fucking idiot.

rafe: there's so many things i could say to you rn

rafe: but i miss you.

rafe: i wanna see you.

i look around at my friends and sigh, they would be so mad at me for this.

y/n: sure, give me like an hour.

y/n: park down the street at the usual spot.

my friends leave my house, mainly due to me faking another wave of hungover puking. i run upstairs and check myself out in the mirror, i look damn good. when i get his text, i sneak out the backdoor and hurry down the street. i see his truck parked under the big tree, the spot he always parked in.

i open the truck door and hop into the passenger seat. i look over at him, he's still in his dressy clothes. a blue polo that hugged his arms right and khakis that made his thighs look exceptionally big. he knew what he was doing and i can't tell if i hate him or love him for it.

we drive in silence for a bit, his radio playing music faintly. his hands grip the steering wheel as his mind looks like he's on another planet. i play with the ends of my sweatshirt, anxiously waiting for him to do something. anything.

he pulls up to the beach, the spot where we would always come to. it was dark and the waves crashed against the shore loudly. he turns the car off and looks over at me.

"thanks for meeting me." he says simply.

"sure."

"i'm sorry about last night. you went out to have fun and i ruined it, i know i did."

i just nod at him.

"and...you were right. about it all." he sighs, running his hands over his face. "i should've manned up, talked to you about how i was feeling. but you know how i get. i get too in my head and just jump to conclusions. it wasn't fair to you." he looks into my eyes. "these past few years without you have been a living hell and i have only myself to blame."

"are you drunk? high?" i ask.

"w-what?"

"are you not sober?" i ask again.

"i'm sorry, what? of course i'm fucking sober." he says. "why would i not be?"

"rafe cameron...taking accountability? i'm sorry, it just seems so...foreign?" i laugh.

"i'm being serious, y/n."

i laugh again. "oh, i'm sure. and...the sky is green. we live on the planet pluto. aliens exist and so do unicorns!"

he pinches the bridge of his nose. "y/n, i'm telling the truth! god, you always joke around."

"yeah, because i know you." i say to him. "and you would rather eat concrete than admit you are wrong."

"eat concrete?" he asks, with a smirk.

"you know what i mean!" i huff with frustration.

he grabs my hand and stares in my eyes. "y/n, i am fully sober. we are not in another universe, it is not opposite day. i was wrong and i am sorry."

my brain malfunctions as i look into his eyes. "y-you mean it?"

"every word i said."

my brain not working means i experienced a lack of better judgment. i grab rafe by his collar and connect our lips for the first time in years. this kiss, the one i have longed for since i left this place, was the missing puzzle piece i've been searching for in my life. everything seemed to make sense again.

his hands cupped my cheeks as his tongue slipped into my mouth. he was hungry for me and i wasn't going to stop him because i felt insatiable as well. his hands roamed from my cheeks down to my neck and onto my shoulders.

i needed more.

i climbed onto his lap and straddled him. my arms connected around his neck as he pressed against me. i felt his cock hard against his khakis and i wanted it. i wanted it all. i rubbed myself against him, causing us both to moan.

he continued to kiss me until he broke away and looked at me. his puffy lips formed a cocky smile as he brushed his nose against mine. "you missed me."

"shut up." i was itching for more.

"admit it, you missed me. you missed the way i made you feel." he states.

"rafe, shut up and kiss me, please."

"ah ah ah." he shook his head. "not until you tell me."

"you're such an ass." i roll my eyes, trying to catch my breathe.

"yet, here you are, rubbing yourself against me in my truck." he says, kissing my cheek. his lips then go to my ear and down my neck. "i want it all with you, right now, babe. but i need to hear it."

"fine! fuck, i missed you. are you happy?" i groan, needing him.

"very. get in the backseat." he demands. i quickly follow his order, hopping in the back over the seats. he gets out of the truck and opens up the back door, sliding in next to me. "come here." he pulls me back onto his lap and we pick up where we left off. i continue to rub myself against him as he sloppily kisses me. "just like old times." he jokes and i hit his shoulder. "c'mon, don't act like you don't think about it."

"oh, i do. but i bet you think about it more than i do." i smirk.

"probably." he laughs. his fingers fall to the hem of my sweater and he plays with it. "now are we only here to kiss or?"

"why? you wanna fuck me in your truck? just like old times." i say, making fun of what he just said.

"i do, i wanna fuck you right here, right now. it's all i've been wanting to do." he kisses my jawline. "do you want me to fuck you?"

this is what i missed the most, our back and forth.

"yes, rafe. i want you to fuck me." i moan out.

with that, he practically rips my sweater off my body and starts to kiss down my chest. his large hands palm my clothed breast. i bite my lip and let my head fall back, missing the way he affected my body. i felt his hand snake around to the back and unclip my bra quickly.

"show off." i say, out of breathe.

i smirks and connects his lips to my nipple, sucking and licking it. his hand massaging my other. "don't pretend you don't like it."

i smirk and shake my head.

he continues to focus on my tits, going back and forth between the two.

"more." i whisper, eyes clenched shut.

"what was that?" he asked in a teasing tone.

"i need more, rafe. please." i beg.

"look at you all needy for me. i knew you missed me." his hand slipped under my jeans and panties, stopping right at my core. i felt his fingers curl inside me, going in and out. "all wet for me, huh? what a good girl." he pushed in, fingering my cunt, when his thumb found my sensitive bud. he added pressure, circling it, and i felt as though i was seeing stars.

"s-shit." i cry out, moving my hips to try and gain some friction.

"feel good, baby? let me hear how could i make you feel." he picked up his pace and a pornographic moan escaped my lips. it's been forever since someone has made me feel this good. rafe knew my body like it was his own, he knew how to get me going. "there we go, like how my fingers feel?"

"u-uh huh." i nod, mouth hanging open.

his fingers worked their magic, rubbing my clit at a pace that'll make me come undone in no time. "love the way you look on top of me, baby. so fucking sexy." he attached his lips to my tits again and continued fingering me.

i felt on fire.

i place one hand on the window and the other on his shoulder, holding on for dear life. the more he whispered about me and the faster his fingers were going, i was cumming on his fingers before i knew it. i rode out my high, screaming his name. once i was done, i felt him pull his fingers out of my pants, my juices getting all over myself. i stared down at him, trying to catch my breathe, as he popped his fingers into his mouth and sucked.

"just as good as i remember." he cleaned his fingers off and kissed me again. my hands ran down his buff chest and stopped at the bottom of his polo, lifting it up. his gold chain laid against his chiseled body, he was perfect. i felt as though i was in a trance as i began to kiss down his chest. i could feel his groans vibrating in his chest and i smirked because i was the one making him feel this way. "i need to fuck you."

"you need to?" i laugh, kissing lower and lower.

"yes, y/n. i need to bury myself inside of you, please." he pleaded.

"i like when you're the one begging." i bite him lightly, causing him to hiss.

"i bet."

i unbuttoned his khakis and sat up so he could slip them off. his grey boxers were discolored from the precum leaking off his cock. he took his underwear off and his cock sprung out. "i-i don't have protection." he said, mentally cursing himself out.

"well, are you clean?" i ask.

"yes. i-i haven't been with anyone since." he openly admitted.

i felt the darkness overtake my eyes as i lower myself down onto him. his breath hitched as he slipped all the way in. he was deep inside of me, causing a few tears to leave my eyes. but the pain subsided as he started to rock my hips with his hands, moving me back and forth. i picked up the rhythm he started with me and placed my hands on his shoulder to steady myself. i felt the truck rocking back and forth as i did so.

his hands found my ass and rested there. "fuck, i missed your pussy. so good, takes me so well." he kissed my chest as i grinded back and forth.

i felt my finger nails dig into his shoulder as his cock hit all the right spots. i looked down at him and he stared at me in awe, like i was some work of art. "fuck, rafe. you're so big."

i bite my lip as i let my head fall back in pleasure. i ride him fast as i keep saying his name. "shit, y/n. you're such a good girl, you're so hot. you feel so tight."

i connect our lips, i feel his hands tighten around my ass. this means he was close. "i want you to cum in me, rafe." his eyes widen as he opens his mouth to ask for permission. "p-please fill me up. i miss it so much." i say, trying to catch my breathe.

with that, he lets out a groan and my name falls from his lips like a prayer. "y/n." i feel him coming inside me, painting me. it doesn't take long for his thumb to find my clit again. with the extra pressure applied to my overstimulated cunt, i feel my head reeling. the air in the truck is hot, making it almost hard for me to breath. it all feels too much, my body releasing onto rafe yet again.

we sit there, panting with our eyes closed. i rest my head on his sweaty chest and he kisses me gently. he rubs my back, tracing circles into it.

"felt even better than i imagine." he says, his voice gruff.

"you thought about it a lot, huh?" i smirk.

"all the fucking time."

i take him out of me and sit next to him in the truck. the windows are foggy and our hands find each other, holding them. i get a sense of weird nostalgia, from how things used to be with us.

"well that was a thanksgiving to remember." i joke, trying not to feel overwhelmed by what happened.

"'tis the damn season." he replies.

i slowly slip my sweater back on and try to find my pants.

"w-wait." rafe says. "is this...is this it? just a single fuck and you're gone."

i look at him, his eyes pleading with me.

"i go back to boston on saturday rafe, we only have like a day and a half."

i wish we could keep this going, i wish this was how things always were. but i had to think realistically. i have to go back home, i have to move on with my new life.

he grabs my hand and squeezes it. "boston is only an 11 hour drive. hour or two by plane."

"rafe." i say.

"i can't lose you again. i can't, y/n. these past few years have sucked without you. i can't wait until you come home for christmas again. now that i've got you again, i can't risk it."

i sigh and kiss his hand. "i know. i know." i close my eyes and shake my head. "we'll make it work. we almost did it before."

"we can do it again." he smiles sweetly. i kiss his lips gently, laying my hand against his chest.

"you'd do an 11 hour car ride for me?"

"y/n, i'd fucking walk if i have to." he smiles.

i roll my eyes and kiss his cheek. "you're so cheesy."

he lays me back against the truck seats and kisses me. "don't act like it doesn't work for you."

[taylorklosscomeout138]

Where does swiftgron fit in your timeline? I thought kaylor was from 2012-13

I used to believe all love songs on Red had to be about Swiftgron because based on the Kaylor officially met in 2013 false narrative, it was impossible for songs to be about Karlie

But then I discovered the video where Taylor confirms she met Karlie at the 2008 Young Hollywood Awards so pretty much they lied about the entire tl to cover their tracks

(This is going to be a long wild ride but it's worth the read so please bare with me)

That led me to discover the 10000% proof that Begin Again is about Karlie because her full name and birth year is hidden on a car license plate in the MV. (That also led to me finding out many Red songs are about Karlie)

Taylor started officially dating Karlie in 2011, Kaylor began before Swiftgron. But by Summer of 2012 Kaylor and Swiftgron overlap. And thus we get the Folklore love triangle. "Chase 2 girls lose the 1" and she swears to Betty it was "just a summer thing"

(Which I need to fact check this for clarity, Betty August Rebekah are all Karlie. August is not a seperate person that was a bait and switch. Dianna Agron is Inez. The person Betty heard the rumours that James cheated from... how did Inez know if it was a secret? Because she was the other party in the affair. Inez derives from the Latin name AGnes)

Okay so back to "just a summer thing", well the actual confirmed Swiftgron timeline literally is called "The Swiftgron Summer" of 2012. So this makes it very obvious that the "summer thing" is when she started seeing Dianna despite being with Karlie. It is explained in Folklore that this ended their relationship initially

So now the timeline makes sm sense when you know How You Get The Girl was written about Taylor losing Karlie for 6 months due to this. And showing up to her doorstep to make it up to her after officially leaving Dianna in the Fall.

The 6 months would span the beginning of Summer, to November of 2012. I believe this is also why Red TV was released in Nov 2021. It is quite literally the same date, just rearranged.

So let's reflect back, because if Swiftgron really was only official in Summer of 2012 (which is also made apparent by Dianna and Lea Michele's timeline) and Red came out in Oct of 2012, then makes it impossible that Red songs could actually be about Dianna Agron besides the potential of a couple last minute love songs, but even then, albums are turned in months prior to the release.

Therefore, Red is likely only Liz Huett and Karlie Kloss. I was not apart of the fandom during Swiftgron, I joined way later, so I honestly do not understand how anyone ever concluded Red is about Swiftgron and didn't question that when even the masterpost makes it clear Swiftgron was mainly just a summer thing in 2012 and Dianna was with Lea Michele still in 2011. I can understand thinking Red was about her though based on just not having any other fitting muse due to the lie narrative about Kaylor.

But my friend even fact checked the one lyric on Red everyone thought to 100% be about Dianna from Holy Ground "I left a note on the door with a joke we made"

But the evidence comes from Dianna's birthday party at the end of April 2012. Whereas Taylor factually wrote Holy Ground in Feb 2012, 2 months prior to that.... which I also have no idea how that never got fact checked and was ran with.

I even believed it up until my friend told me about it a few weeks ago but that's because I've never looked into facts about the Swiftgron timeline much until finding out that the entire timeline as we knew it was a false public narrative timeline used to cover up Kaylor history of the past. So needless to say.... very shocking. And it changes everything

This basically means that Swiftgron doesn't even officially get a song until 1989- and even then it's half Karlie half Dianna as confirmed by Kimby Kloss in her messy era when she liked a post of someone saying YAIL is the Kaylor anthem and Wonderland is the Swiftgron anthem.

So there you have it. Honestly this isn't even beginning to scratch the surface because there is so many things about the timeline that have been misunderstood for so long.

Including that Enchanted off of Speak Now was the first ever song written about Karlie. It was just a fantasy song at the time, but the reason we all believed it to be about Emma Stone was because that's what she was going for. Why? Because when Taylor met Karlie for the first time in 2008 it was at the same time she met Emma Stone. The guy who introduced them said he brought Karlie and Emma over her to her at the same time. Hence why on Speak Now TV she coded Karlie as Emma with "When Emma Falls In Love".

I can definitely get into the breakdown of Red as to what songs are about Liz Huett and what songs are about Karlie if that's something you or anyone else would like! Me and my discord have already reassessed the whole album through this lens awhile ago

[waiting-for-motivation]

inside out

summary: Carlos is there for his girlfriend when her darkest insecurities take ahold of her.

pairing: Carlos Sainz x Reader

warnings: insecurities, angst, fluff

words: 1129

a/n: thanks to tumblr for being my unpaid therapist, I guess <33

MASTERLIST REQUEST RULES

Having some time off feels relieving as well as overwhelming at the same time. Carlos fears not valuing his free time enough, although he does everything in his power to experience a lot. With his girlfriend, he visits museums, aquariums, exciting cities and breathtaking landscapes.

Other times, they share some quality time, cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie or cooking together. When Carlos is gaming, (Y/n) is always in the same room reading. They exist in silence, still savoring the shared moments with their partner.

Today is no different, relaxing after yesterdays hiking tour, Carlos plays a new game he had been yearning to have a look at. His girl sits next to him on the couch, so close their thighs touch, scrolling through social media. From time to time, she shares some memes, also calming him whenever the game is getting too rough.

“Car?“, (Y/n) breathes, discarding her phone on the side table. Not knowing if Carlos even heard her over the sound of his gaming, she throws a cautious glance towards him. His brown eyes are already on her, concerned about the serious tone. Carlos even places his controller aside.

“Do you think I‘m pretty?“, (Y/n) asks with an unsteady voice, avoiding her boyfriend's eyes. Her heart feels like it might break her rips apart, and her breathing keeps getting tougher. Right away, (Y/n) regrets expressing her insecure mind.

Subconsciously, she starts fumbling around with her fingers, pressing her nails into the palm of her hand. It might be a bad habit, but the pain is what distracts her from her depressing thoughts. What even works better is Carlos taking care of her. He grabs her hands, warm touch halting her nervous fiddling.

“Of course, mi corazón“, Carlos answers, almost at a loss of words. Her question caught him of guard. Watching (Y/n) shrink in front of him, her insecurities heavy on her shoulders cause him to feel rather guilty. Maybe he did not show her his appreciation enough. Maybe he tells her how much he adores her too seldom.

If (Y/n) could see herself through the eyes of Carlos, she would have no doubts about her appearance. The word perfection is not enough to describe the way Carlos perceives her. He might not be an artist nor a writer, but he would use only the brightest colors for her portrait and could write an entire trilogy about everything he loves about (Y/n).

“You are my gorgeous girl“, Carlos adds and places a hand on her cheek, forcing her eyes on him. Pressing her lips to a tight line, (Y/n) regrets exposing her thoughts at the sight of her concerned boyfriend. “Where is this coming from?“

“Forget about it“, (Y/n) says in a rush, already jumping to her feet and leaving Carlos alone on the couch. But she can't escape her boyfriend, who quickly follows her and wraps his strong arms around her from behind, lifting her up.

“I‘m going to show you how much I actually admire you“, Carlos announces as he throws (Y/n) onto the couch. Her screaming turns to soft giggles because of Carlos decorating her face in kisses. His lips wander from her forehead over the frown between her eyebrows to her nose and lead eventually to her neck. Over and over again, he whispers how much he loves her, how pretty she is.

“You are all I need, mi corazón, all I want. Without you, I feel like I can't breathe“, Carlos declares his deep-rooted love to his girlfriend, kissing a trail down her arms. What causes him to halt his fondling is a quiet sob leaving (Y/n)s throat. Quickly, she places both her hands on top of her mouth, but the tears streaming over her cheeks reveal enough.

“No, please don’t cry“, Carlos whimpers in shock, watching his girl sit up with a shaking body. Out of instinct, (Y/n) turns away from her boyfriend, not wanting him to see her so vulnerable, though Carlos won't simply accept that. He hugs her tightly to his chest. Her tears quickly dampen his shirt, but he couldn't care less at the moment. “Tell me what darkens your mind.“

“I feel like I will never be enough, not for anyone, not for you in particular. Comparing myself to the other girlfriends on the paddock, I realize how plain I must be. They are naturally so magnificent, know how to handle all this attention, and treat their partners perfectly. I will never be like that. I‘m not good enough“, (Y/n) manages to say between her sobs, now wearing her heart on the sleeve, revealing her worst thoughts.

“You are enough, mi corazón. Those other girls are nothing compared to you. I would not want you any other way because I see you as you are: wholeheartedly kind and breathtakingly beautiful. You are all I want and having you here with me makes me so happy“, Carlos tries to encourage his girlfriend, caressing her back and placing soft kisses on the top of her head. Bit by bit, (Y/n) seems to calm down, though she keeps her arms wrapped around her boyfriend.

“I just believe that neither my appearance nor my personality are what you deserve“, she whispers against his chest. Having heard enough, Carlos forces (Y/n) to face him, placing both his hands on her cheeks. Their eyes meet, both glinting with tears.

“Stop right there! If I have to say it over and over again, then I will: You are what I want. I love everything you might hate about yourself. I love seeing the brightness in your eyes whenever you see a dog. I love your passion for things you appreciate. I love the little scrunch on your face when you are reading. I love the way you hide behind me when a camera is near. I love you, (Y/n), and nothing you will do or say will ever change that because my affection is unconditional.“

At a loss for words, (Y/n) just stares at Carlos with wide eyes. This sweet monolog was the deepest profession of love she ever witnessed. Her heart felt like it was falling apart moments ago, but with every word that came over his lips, the pieces found shape again.

“Thank you“, she says with a rough voice, all that crying took a toll on her throat. After wiping all the tears from her face, Carlos leans down and captures her lips in a short yet tender kiss. His smile is bright, lightening her mood greatly.

“Don‘t worry, I will always be there when you are too deep in your own head, mi vida.“

[shaunamilfman]

the ghost you dressed up as [8]

pairing: Jackie Taylor x Shauna Shipman x r summary: Continues off where seven ends. Just smut really. note: last chapter, and the smut you've been waitinggg for masterlist

“This is sick, even for you,” You comment idly, tone far too casual for the accusation. Still, you don’t bother to move your hand from where it cups the side of her face, enjoying the feeling of her warm skin against your hand.

It shouldn’t surprise you how quickly she switches between predator and lover. Really, if you think about it you wonder if there is even a difference for her. Isn’t the violence just foreplay?

Shauna gives you that infuriating grin, utterly unashamed as she leans back against the car door. Her messy hair and swollen lips paint a clear picture of what has her breathing hard, both of which have nothing to do with the murders you’ve just committed. There’s blood smeared across her cheek, but you’ve come to expect it at this point.

You’ve had to bat her hands away more than once, refusing to let those still-bloody fingers find their way to your skin. Her eyes are focused on yours, something dark and amused present as she just watches. It makes something in your stomach twist in a way you wish it wouldn’t. There’s such a thrill in it, and you can’t find it in yourself to deny it.

She revels in the bloodshed she causes, even more so in the way you're still standing by her side afterward like you might just kiss her again. You can still picture the way Jeff had looked as he bled out beneath you, those dumb, trusting eyes wide with a mix of fear and betrayal. He hasn't even had time to scream–just a few gasping breaths as he went down. He’d hit the ground so hard you almost feared he’d somehow fall through the floor, but Shauna was quickly there to urge you on.

The body was still warm when you left; Jeff barely finished bleeding out. But that’s not what unsettles you. It’s her. Always her.

“You liked it,” Shauna says, sounding excited at the very thought of it. 

Her head turns just slightly to the side, studying you with a look far too intimate for the situation. It’s like she can see everything, all the way down to the bone. Dissecting you with just her eyes. You shift uncomfortably, feeling stripped of all of your pretenses.

It’s that knowing edge to her smile that makes you want to wrap your hands around her throat, if only to keep her from speaking. It wouldn't be hard. You know how much pressure you'd need to apply and how long you'd need to squeeze until she just stopped being a problem. Stop being a thing that threatens to unravel you. 

You hate when she hints at things you don’t want to admit.

Shauna smiles again, like she can tell what you're thinking. Some part of her would welcome it at first, you know. She'd love the fight, the raw intensity of it. The way she'd gasp for air as your fingers tightened, and tightened. She wouldn't give in immediately, not Shauna. She'd claw at your hands, punch at anything she could reach. Until you didn't let go. Until you just keep holding on and the panic sets in. Even then, some part of her would still want it–would crave the moment she couldn't fight back anymore. 

Don't you just want to give it to her? 

Your fingers twitch with the urge, hands up to her shoulders before you even realize what you're doing. You press her back into the car, pulling her head back with a handful of her hair. She gasps as her head arches back, eyes wide with delight. 

“You like this, too,” She whispers, glancing down at your lips. Not a taunt, just the truth. “Don't you hide from me.”

Her head tilts back, neck exposed, showing off the mark you'd sucked into her skin last night. 

“Did you like it, Shauna?” You say finally, a thumb on Shauna's chin as you turn her head to the other side. Leaning down to mouth at the empty side of her neck, you add, “Knowing I killed Jeff?”

Shauna's breath catches in her throat, her fingers tightening around the shoulders of your shirt. She pulls you closer, like the mere mention of the memory excites her again. The answer is obvious: in the way her body arches, in the sounds she makes, the gleam in her eyes showing everything but remorse. She wants it. She loves it. 

Just like you. 

You wrinkle your nose in distaste as Shauna grabs at the side of your face, leaving bloody smears across your skin. It's warm, sticky, a constant reminder of what the three of you had done tonight. But the look in her eyes–wild, dark, the lingering thirst for violence–makes all of it worth it. Her grip is firm as she lowers you down to your knees, unrelenting in her desire to have you. 

“You showed up to a murder wearing a dress?” You ask, the corners of your lips twitching into something of a smile as you work her panties down her legs. 

Shauna rolls her eyes, propping her knee over your shoulder as she grabs a handful of your hair. “Jackie likes it,” She says simply, like that explains everything. It does, in a way. Jackie likes it, so Shauna wore it. You know what it's like to bend to Jackie's whims, happily doing things you'd never normally do just for a glimpse of that pleased smile. Shauna's no different: both of you marching to the beat of Jackie Taylor's drum. 

You laugh under your breath as you follow Shauna's insistent tugging up her thighs, leaving as many marks on her skin as her impatience allows. Her breath hitches, her body reacting to your advances even as she's still urging you higher. 

Shauna's leg tenses around your shoulder, her thigh rubbing against the remnants of blood on your face and smearing across the inside of her thigh. As she digs the heel of her shoe into your back, you finally close the distance as you bury your face between her thighs. She lets out a quiet noise as your tongue makes first contact with her wetness, bucking into your face until your hands firmly pin her hips back against the cold metal of the car door. 

The hem of her dress bunches around your shoulders, brushing teasingly against the back of your neck as you mouth at her cunt. 

“Hate that you're so good at that,” Shauna grumbles as your tongue flicks at her clit, as much of an encouragement as it was a reproach. The way her thighs tremble gives her away regardless, nails digging into your scalp as she loses herself in her pleasure.

Shauna's hand pries the fingers from one hand away from her thigh, bending your pinky back until you yelp and let go before she leads it pointedly up to the hem of her dress. You wish you could see the way she's looking at you, knowing how intense her eyes must look. 

“How many?” You ask breathily, pulling away just long enough to speak, lips brushing against her skin. 

“Three.” 

“Three?”

“Three,” She insists impatiently, tugging at your hair in reproach. You're nothing if not obedient in this, and only this, brushing three fingers against her skin before pressing into her. 

Shauna cries out, the sound mixing together with the lewd sound of her wetness. It cuts off into a whimper as she bites at her hand, regrettably cutting off those wonderful noises as her teeth sink into her knuckles. 

You take her back into your mouth, the taste of her drawing you right back in as you relentlessly circle her clit. You gave it to her hard, furiously, almost punishing–just the way she likes, as she still revels in the violence she's caused. There's something so terribly hot when she gets like this, desperate to hurt and be hurt. 

She responds just as violently, hips bucking as you struggle to keep her up. You can feel her slick heat against your chin with every roll of her hips; you can hear the car window rattling behind her. Shauna gasps loudly, the sound traveling even from around her knuckles as she teeters on the edge. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Shauna whimpers, trying to draw you closer with her leg as she squeezes it around your shoulder. You're supporting almost all of her weight by this point. If you weren't here to hold her up, you're sure she'd be a puddle on the floor. 

Shauna slams her hand against the car door as she comes, over and over, as the door rattles beneath the force of it. She's dented it at this point, there's no doubt in your mind, but poor Kevin Car-nold has seen more than its fair share of dents at this point. She gets so violent when she comes like this, like the sheer force of it is too much for her to handle. If she can't sink her teeth into your shoulder, then whatever’s close enough to her fist is going to take the brunt of her release. 

She just can't stop herself. 

Her thighs are trembling, almost sitting on your shoulders as she leans heavily back against the door. You can hear her ragged breaths even from your knees, wondering what she must look like as you're still hidden beneath her dress. 

You jerk away at the sound of crunching leaves, nearly taking Shauna down to the ground as she stumbles forward with her leg still over your shoulder. 

“You guys started without me?” Jackie asks, sounding utterly betrayed, cellphone and mask still in hand. You groan against Shauna's thigh, who pats your head sympathetically. 

… 

You laugh breathlessly against Jackie's jaw, the sound muffled against her skin as she lets out a frustrated whine into Shauna's mouth. She squirms in your lap, straining against your arm around her hips as she tries to chase after Shauna as she pulls away. The way Jackie shudders when she’s denied what she wants yet again is enough to make you smile, enjoying her little sounds of discontent more than you thought you would.

You soothe the ache Shauna’s retreat causes as you nip at a patch of skin just under her jaw, teeth running across already bruised skin. Jackie turns on you almost immediately to tear your mouth away from her skin, tightening the grip she’s already had on your hair as she tugs you toward her. Her lips crash into yours, messy and frantic, as she tries to pull you impossibly closer. She’s almost shaking as she presses into you, all gasps and sighs and bitten lips.

Jackie was growing desperate as you and Shauna passed her back and forth–playing with her–each kiss ending just as she got into it before the other would pull her away. She always complains, but you both know how much she loves being treated as a prize. Every time she reached for one of you, the other would respond, leaving her practically trembling as she grabbed at you. Her nails dig into your scalp, taking everything you’re offering and still finding more.

Shauna brushes her fingers across Jackie’s back as she finally has to pull away for breath, sweeping her hair over one shoulder before pressing a kiss against it. 

“Look at you,” Shauna murmurs against her skin, a slow, deliberate phrase that makes Jackie shiver.

“Shauna,” Jackie whines breathily, turning to capture her lips only to be evaded again. Shauna laughs at Jackie’s expression, sharing a quick look with you as she jerks her head. 

You maintain eye contact just long enough for Shauna’s eyes to start to narrow, a warning, before you answer her unspoken demand, sitting up and shifting Jackie off your lap to lower her onto the bed. Jackie’s sheer delight at the position–clearly hoping she’s finally getting the attention she’s been angling for all night–is quickly squashed as Shauna leans over her to kiss you instead.

Jackie’s gasp of surprise is swallowed up by the press of Shauna’s lips against yours. Her hands come up to cup the sides of your face with an uncharacteristic gentleness that’s almost entirely for Jackie’s benefit. Jackie’s hands fist in the sheets as she stares up with wide, impatient eyes, her chest heaving with each breath that leaves her.

“Mean,” Jackie mutters, an ever-familiar note of petulance entering her voice. She rolls her eyes as she props herself up to start working at the buttons of her jeans. You pull away from Shauna to watch, your forehead resting against hers as your eyes watch Jackie’s nimble fingers make short work of the button and zipper.

Shauna’s quick to help, reaching for her ankle and nearly pulling Jackie off the bed in her eagerness to deprive her of her jeans. You grab at Jackie’s shoulders to keep her from ending up as a puddle on the ground, a delighted giggle leaving her mouth as she nearly becomes airborne. 

“Careful,” You chide gently with a laugh of your own, glancing at an unrepentant Shauna over your shoulder.

Jackie’s peal of laughter turns into a sigh as your lips press against her collarbone, trailing down her skin as you take full advantage of the way her shirt’s twisted around in the chaos. You reach for the first button of her shirt, lowering your head to her chest as you follow each one with a kiss against her skin.

Each one’s rewarded with a sigh from Jackie as you move down her chest, her body responding eagerly to the attention. She grabs at your shoulder as you pause to give the sliver of her breast that peeks out of her bra attention, an impatient noise leaving her mouth even as her back arches up against your mouth.

“Greedy,” Shauna comments idly, settling up at Jackie’s hip to get a better view. “You already rushed us through killing–”

“Never mention a boy when–” Jackie starts, only to gasp as you mouth at her chest through the thin fabric of her bra, the words getting stuck in her throat. “When I’m half-dressed ever again. Actually, just don’t in general.”

You can’t help but laugh against the curve of her breast, grinning with delight as Jackie pointedly digs her nails into your shoulder in reproach. She squeals as your cold hands slip beneath the side of her shirt, trailing across her back as you tug at the clasp of her bra. She’s squirming too much from the brush of your fingers for the move to be as smooth as you imagined when you started, but her bra gives way nonetheless, freeing her chest for your attention.

Jackie’s hands find their way back into your hair as she gives herself over to your attention. She’s firmer this time, more insistent, tugging you along as she leads you where she wants you. There’s no need for words to be spoken. The way her nails scrape against your scalp as she moves you lower still says more than words ever could. 

Her breathing gets heavier as you finish off the last few buttons of her shirt, looking down at you with blown pupils as you rest your chin against the tops of her thighs. You grin up at her, making sure she’s looking before you hook your fingers in the waistband of her panties. She lifts her hips off the bed, just as eager to get them off as you are to take them. You pull away just long enough to toss them in the direction of her jeans, but it was long enough for Shauna to strike: her hand already slipping into the place you’ve just vacated, palming Jackie with deliberate pressure.

Jackie gasps, hips jerking into her hand as she braces a foot against the mattress. Her head falls back against the sheets, lips parted as her eyes slip shut. You watch with a mixture of amusement–leave it to Shauna to let you do all the work and sweep in to take the credit–and arousal as Shauna’s fingers work their magic. There’s something undeniably hot about watching her when she’s like this. 

She’s slow, almost teasing as she drags out reactions from Jackie.

You can tell the moment she’s finally slipped her fingers inside, watching as Jackie grabs at Shauna’s arm with a noise that’s just on the verge of being pained. Shauna seems to love giving Jackie just a little too much too quickly, watching with something achingly familiar to the look she gives her victims as Jackie writhes in response. Jackie never complains, clearly just as content to take it.

Rising to your feet, you slowly climb up next to her. Jackie’s almost flailing in her effort to reach your hand, tangling your fingers together as she turns her head for a kiss you’re more than happy to give. You relished the sounds she made, even as muffled as they were–the little whimpers as she pleaded with Shauna to continue, the whines torn from her throat when Shauna angled her fingers just right.

Jackie responds immediately, hips lifting to meet the rhythm only to be pinned back down against the bed by two left hands. She writhes in complaint, almost aching to buck into Shauna’s hand as she pushes at your shoulder. You let her push you away, eyes trailing down to watch as Shauna’s fingers move. “Does it feel good, Jackie?”

“Yes, please, yes.” Jackie clings to your shoulders, caught between her pleasure and her constant desire for more. She sounds so pretty when she begs, her voice barely more than a needy whisper. Her hips move as much as they can beneath your hold, yet another plea she doesn’t even bother to voice. You brush a hand lightly through her hair, scratching your nails against her scalp as she trembles beneath you.

“Always so eager, isn’t she?” You ask almost conversationally as you look at Shauna. Shauna smirks, glancing down at the desperate look on Jackie’s face. She leans down to whisper something in Jackie’s ear, low and teasing, something meant only for her, but the way Jackie’s body jerks tells you it was filthy.

“She just can’t help herself,” Shauna agrees, earning another moan from Jackie as she lazily grinds her palm down against Jackie’s clit.

“You’re just so pretty like this, aren’t you?” You ask softly, watching as Jackie shudders at your words. She nods jerkily, too lost in Shauna to even form words. Jackie lets out a breathless whine as Shauna does something with her hands, legs trembling and toes curling into the sheets but still stubbornly hanging on. Her eyes flutter open, unfocused but clearly so needy.

Jackie likes to hold on when she gets like this, forcing herself to revel in your attention for as long as she can keep it. She got some perverse thrill out of it, in being able to withhold her pleasure till she couldn't stand it anymore. You've never quite understood her reasoning behind it–as if either of you wouldn't come running if she spread her legs. 

“She’s close,” Shauna murmurs, eyes glinting as she watches Jackie closely. She enjoys this almost as Jackie does, enjoying the way Jackie’s body betrays her as she teeters right on the edge.

You lean in, your lips brushing against Jackie’s forehead as you ask, “Please?”

For a moment she resists, body tensing as if to fight against it, but then Shauna’s fingers press just right, and Jackie cries out. Her entire body jerks, hips bucking wildly as the two of you work to keep her pressed against the bed as she falls apart.

She goes slack beneath you, breath coming out in ragged gasps as the aftershocks tear through her. Jackie slaps away Shauna’s hand as it lingers just long enough to make her twitch, a weak glare on her face at the dark look of amusement Shauna gives her as she retreats. You trail your hand across her flushed skin, fingers ghosting across her hips and down her thighs, enjoying the way her muscles twitch beneath your light touch.

“You never make it easy on yourself,” Shauna comments, her voice low and affectionate as she wipes her wet fingers across Jackie’s stomach. Jackie groans grumpily at the action, eyes flickering down to catch the glistening marks across her skin Shauna’s left in her wake before quickly looking away. She’s just the right amount of embarrassed, her pretty face flushing as she squirms, but still undeniably pleased with herself.

“Come on, Jackie,” You complain teasingly, squeezing her thigh meaningfully. “You’re not done yet, are you? I haven’t even had a turn.”

Her head lolls to the side to look at the two of you, still breathless as she bites at her lip thoughtfully. Finally, she nods, letting you spread her legs again as you take your place between them.

If this is what a few murders gets you, who are you to complain?

[thesamoanqueen]

Anatomy of an affair III

A/N: It's been a while, but finally here is the last chapter of this mini series. I had planned another scene, but in the end that's what matters is all here for my protagonist. I hope you will appreciate it and as always, dedicated to Aly

The ride to the campus had been an agony, a coupon for anxiety and the beginning of a heart or panic attack, the line between the two was confusing to me in that moment. Not because he was a bad driver, not because of the music we had been listening to on the half-empty streets of the city. It had been his presence and the thoughts that had suddenly started piling up in my head, partly thanks to the alcohol, partly because he was extraordinarily handsome. I had tried to look casual in his expensive car, but my act had ended with the first movement of his hand towards me… well, it hadn’t gone exactly like that, he had adjusted the heating, but my hormones had thought otherwise.

He had no comment about my flinch, making instead small talk, but he had grinned. A smug grin, satisfied with the power he had over me, imperceptible in the dim light of the car, the corner of his perfect lips barely lifting. I might be almost completely gone, but I wasn’t suffering from hallucinations, I was sure I had seen him, as I was sure of the game we had started from then on. The movements had become more frequent even if seemingly random, his voice lower and deeper as he asked me what I had done in my free time, without him… and although I had tried to keep calm, his scent so strong in the small space had made my stomach flutter. Between a glance out the window and at the clutch bag on my closed legs, I had glanced at his sculpted profile, his arms where muscles jumped out for the smallest gestures, the impeccable dark beard that left a shadow on the exposed neck on which my eyes lingered, making me wonder what it would be like… our eyes had met almost by chance during that ride and I had felt his slide over me, discreet but not innocent and inside me every certainty had begun to melt like a biscuit soaked in milk.

Tobert was the biggest piece of shit to ever walk out of a bathroom. He had hurt me like no one before, stepping on my trust, my intelligence, and years of life together for cheap affairs. Finding out it had helped me realize I had been babysitting a dead-end relationship, that I was in love with an idea instilled by our families and his insecurities, but it had also made me realize I could do without it and that I was better, yet I found myself falling for someone else.

How could I really be better than Tobert if I was thinking to spread my legs to someone I shouldn’t even be looking at? Yep, I had my needs like every woman and yes, Tobert had never had this effect to me in his most glorious and devoted five minutes, but was I justified? My friends’ answer would have been an absolute yeah. It was the same answer my body was screaming, for revenge and more, but it was such a crazy possibility! And I was really listing pros and cons as if I had to choose? Maybe Roman wasn’t even considering it, maybe we weren’t even flirting or were we?

- “Here we go”– his voice made my head snap from him to the car window, almost tearing some muscles to realize I hadn’t even noticed where we were.

Thank goodness he wasn’t a serial killer or I would have already been in pieces.

The car was stopped on the driveway in front of his apartment, I had asked to walk to mine to recover a bit and it had been the only smart idea of the night. At that hour there was no one around and plus it was the weekend, almost all the students were out. I watched him get out of the car and sighed, trying to calm down once and for all and prepare to say goodbye to him to go and bury myself in my bed with what was left of my dignity. I had let my thoughts run wild more than necessary as usual. Thoughts that jumped to attention again when I heard him open the door to let me out, a hand offering me help like a perfect gentleman. And I wanted to get angry at that umpteenth free lesson on how a man should behave, but I accepted, swallowing dryly as he rubbed his thumb over my fingers before releasing them. The air was cold against my cheeks, yet I felt everything in me burning, as I was standing between him and the car, unable to do anything but watch him stare at me as if every secret of mine was written on my face.

- “Are you sure you want to walk all the way there?” – he asked me attentive and I shrugged with a confidence that was ridiculous at that moment.

- “I didn’t drink that much” – I said and it was true, but I still ended up mumbling the last word as I saw him grinning once again, his brown eyes pinning me, studying me and…

- “Good girl”

There was something in the way he said it, in the way he spoke to me and swallowed me into his orbit, something I had never experienced and that terrified and electrified me at the same time. An attraction so strong it reduced me to a trance of silence and pushed me to take a step forward, throwing away everything I had repeated to myself, to close the distance between us and place my lips on his in a messy kiss of pure need. Roman didn’t even move and I widened my eyes, terrified after just a second, wishing an unknown illness would strike me in that moment to put an end to the shame that was suddenly destroying me.

What had I done?! What the fuck I was thinking? How could I?! How was I going to get out of this now?!

- “I-I “– and it was the only understandable sound I made because I had forgotten how to speak.

I wanted to blame it on the alcohol, on the emotional trauma, on someone, on something, but the truth is I had always been tempted and I wanted it. I wanted to try, to let go, to feel those electric shivers run through me like when he looked at me like that… exactly like he was looking at me now… Fuck.

- “Not here. Let's go inside.”

- “Huh?!” – I squeaked with wide eyes.

Did he want to let me go inside to yell at me or…

The answer was clear to me when after locking the car, his hand found me again, resting on my back, to push me forward, his dangerous grin on his lips again.

***

Entering his apartment at that hour had been a strange experience. It was a place I knew, where I felt comfortable by now and where I had therefore avoided staying longer than necessary perhaps knowing that it would be all it took to push me to give in completely. And it had really been like that, because even though he hadn't rushed anything, asking several times if I really wasn't drunk and if I was sure I wanted it, a caress was enough to make me melt between his fingers. Literally.

My mind had turned off feeling the heat of his body against mine, while he lifted me on the table where I had spent days checking notes and lessons. For the first time in my entire life I was really understanding what it was like to desire someone, the suffocating need to feel his fingertips caress my thighs, his eyes stripping me of all inhibitions, giving in to strangled moans just at the touch of his breath on my throat. I had clung to the wood with my nails, like a castaway in the middle of a storm and he had blown sweet words into my ears to relax me, before really kissing me and filling my mouth with his hypnotic flavor. And with the movement of his tongue on mine, the anxiety of finding myself in the arms of someone who wasn’t Tobert, who I hadn’t shared my whole life with, but who unlike him was reading my body like never before, had gone away.

It was something so forbidden, almost dangerous, and yet it had the flavor of all my desires.

Without haste he had let me get used to him between one kiss and another, until, gasping, unable to stay still, my hands had left the table to cling to his broad shoulders, exploring, climbing up along his neck to insinuate themselves in his dark hair that I had always wanted to touch and then on the solid muscles that jumped under his shirt. His moans of approval in my mouth had encouraged me, I had felt powerful and desired, the undisputed protagonist of his attentions and the desire in me had grown. I wasn't used to that kind of foreplay, I wasn't used to feeling my body sweat from a caress or tremble from a bite, it was a visceral and frenetic sensation. His every gesture, growl and whisper, slid along my back, on my chest and further down between my legs, where he had made space with disarming nonchalance and where his hands were finally enjoying the luxury of exploring. I would have worn the lingerie I bought before closing my market if I had known where that night would take me, but he didn’t seem to care and even in the darkness, I could see his eyes, his profile giving me shivers, as he pulled me closer and his thumb rubbed the fabric. The contact made me arch my back, pant and his smirk lit up the room, arrogant and satisfied, before rubbing again to play with the wetness I couldn’t hold back. I was a mess, like I had never been even after I was done, a puddle between his fingers that freed me of every block to sink into my honey tracing the entrance and walls, before brushing my sweet button. A few gestures and I began to tremble, trying in vain to hold back my moans as I felt him work me without squalid attempts to be more than what he was: perfect.

Right rhythm, right movement of wrist and his wet kisses, along my neck, on my lips, his teeth biting amused at my failed attempts to stay in control. I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to say my name if he had asked, I was almost on the verge of begging for mercy without having done anything yet, but when he moved away from me to sit on a chair between my legs I almost let out a sigh of relief.

I had never been a fan of oral sex when it was Tobert who did it and it rarely happened, but I would have had time to catch my breath, calm the mad rush of my heart and not seem so desperate to come only on his fingers… oh how wrong I was! My body trembled with a jolt at the first touch of his breath on my entrance and when his tongue tasted my lower lips up to the sensitive button, I really couldn’t hold back a curse.

- “Gawd damn!” – his raspy laugh echoed on my body, sending shivers down my spine, while he smugly adjusted my thighs, pulling them up to his shoulders without the slightest hesitation and not showing any signs of moving.

- “You taste better than I thought watching you work…” – the comment itself was already obscene enough, hearing it from him and when I felt like I was at a gynecological exam, made me stand up on my elbows.

He had imagined what while I was his assistant?! There? In the office? In class?!

- “Savannah calm down, breath, there is no reason to hold back here and now… don't make that face, consider it a private lesson” – he added, returning immediately to work, but if his idea to relax me was to remind me what kind of relationship we should have then it was a terrible plan.

- “It's not funny-ahn!”

His mouth on my most sensitive part devoured away everything my mind was about to complain about, as well as the rest of my protests and my dumb belief about control, extorting instead a moan from me I could not have stopped even if I wanted to. I felt his tongue trace every fold with indecent agility and then slide inside my channel, fat enough to make me tremble as he mixed my juices with his saliva, then sucked them away between his teeth with a sound that I would never forget.

- “If it’s not fun, I need to try harder then” – he murmured seriously, licking his lips and then placing a kiss on my button and I let myself fall on the table with a shiver, my body on fire.

I was perfectly aware of what he was doing, it was the how that left me breathless. The sensations I was feeling were almost unknown to me, all together, intense, powerful, unstoppable, it was pathetic to admit, but his skills proved me that in my life I had never been fucked well and what I had missed! I wanted so much to curse, I knew I should be angry for having been deprived of such a pleasure, but in that moment, legs spread wide on the table of an apartment where I shouldn’t have been, writhing between the expert movements of Roman’s lips as he ate me and the gurgles of appreciation with which he echoed my moans, I couldn’t remember who to blame. Staring at the above me, while a liquid and burning pleasure grew in my belly, I was unable to focus on anyone else but the perfect man who was sucking my button mercilessly, his hands on my body, the way he caressed me without giving me any break and his beard tickling my skin. That beard I had run my fingers over to kiss him, dark like his eyes as soon as I had agreed to stay and finally it was him who had come forward. I felt fragile and powerful like a bomb ready to explode in the silence of our secret, in my chest I felt a crack creaking with every labored breath, my body vibrating sweaty under his fingertips and that sensation of absolute oblivion sucking me mercilessly into his vortex.

- “R-Roman…” - gasping, my own fingers running over my throat where my breath struggled turning into strangled moans, I didn't even recognize my own voice.

But I clung to his guttural and hoarse “hum” breathed between my thighs, in the liquid folds of my center, the intensity of his adorable attacks along with the movements of my body to help him ruin me, satiating his thirst and my desire. A vortex of endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin out of control, blood replaced by the desire to have more, to feel more, a disorderly race towards that peak that flashed before my eyes on the ceiling of his apartment. I had the impression of climbing and falling at the same time, supported only by his arm under my ass, his heat so burning. I searched in the dark, my breasts, the table, until I found his hair and squeezed. Roman growled, murmuring something between my soaked folds, before sliding three fingers inside me, focusing with his tongue on my clit. He was so damn good and in the warm safety of his touch I felt my heart explode, my lungs, the crack in my chest finally open, my skin tremble in the fever of pleasure. I wanted to scream but my voice died the moment I reached my climax, leaving me gasping, my back arched, my fingers in his hair and my eyes closed now.

- “Sssh… like that… just like that…” - a whisper in the darkness of our affair, his irresistible voice still guiding me, while his fingers never stopped helping me with my burning need, riding the wave of oblivion, kisses on my thighs to encourage me.

It was what I had always deserved. What I needed and had instead buried with a sense of responsibility and the facade of being the bigger person. A life wasted in pleasing, when I should have been revered and pleased like in that moment. It was a bittersweet awareness that gave me a rush of anger, brought on by the post-coitus lucidity, but I no longer felt like wasting my time thinking about my misfortunes. I preferred to focus on the hunk of a man who had just stood up, looking straight at me as he licked my juices off his fingers.

Yeah! Thanks godness!

***

My wake up had been… more than one. The first time I had opened my eyes when it was still dark, twisted between the cozy sheets of his bed, probably after drooling on him. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure considering the multiple secretions we had happily exchanged, but there was a good chance. Remembering the many movies I had seen, I had tried to disappear into the darkness to play my part as a mature and emancipated woman, but he had put me back in my place with a firm “no” before even leaving the bed and when I tried to reply he had preferred to silence me with something else… I hadn’t complained. It had been such a good idea!

The second time he had been the one to wake me up. It was morning by now, but he had tried to be quiet anyway, telling me I could stay while he took a shower. Temptation had overcome me, I had tried, a few hours of sleep and all that physical activity were too much if you already had a shitty routine, but after turning over a couple of times I had decided it wasn’t the case. Picking up what I had there, I had gone back downstairs, remaining frozen for a moment staring at the table.

My panties were still on it. It was the kind of stuff you tell your grandchildren when you’re old.

It had been a crazy adventure and I probably would never be able to work in that apartment again now that I was really regaining awareness of the situation or maybe I wouldn’t have had the chance anyway, but it had happened. Strangely enough, however, I didn’t feel any sense of panic or guilt, no anxiety, I felt numb but that was normal considering the night’s performance. What mattered was that I felt good, as if a huge weight had slipped off my shoulders and I could finally turn the page. I felt like a different woman, more confident, ready to start over, even putting last night’s underwear in the middle of the living room didn’t seem so terrible. The same couldn’t be said for the messages on my phone, however, when I finally retrieved it almost completely dead on the couch, where I had also left my bag along with the clothes he had taken off me. Shanice and Mya had probably located my phone, because they had both bombarded me with obscene memes, happy for me I guess, but for some reason Tobert was furious.

He was all over my dms. “What happened, huh? What’s your problem?!” he wrote. My problem… audacity was on sale. He remembered having a relationship when it was convenient for him, but since I hadn’t been there waiting for his crumbs I was problematic now. He even left a voicemail accusing me of ghosting him, I was shocked, wow… one of his chicks must have played him over the weekend or he was in trouble at his job, for playing the victim. I had always been his relief valve, even though for years I had thought it was about being there for him to support him, he had always used me to cover up his own shortcomings, but I wasn’t going to let him play with me anymore.

It had never been fun with him, I wasn’t going to give him opportunities like I was a non-profit anymore.

- “Your ex?” – Roman called back, coming to me with his hair still soaking wet from the shower.

I had hoped to be ready to leave, but he had been faster than me and watching him walk to the kitchen still half naked, I didn’t mind that much. It was a nice way to start the day. I preferred to focus on the dark lines of the tattoo on his back rather than arguing with a kid.

- “Technically we’re still together, he’s not man enough to leave me” – I muttered without thinking too much, busy looking him up and down, casually and calmly making coffee for both of us.

Two cups, two plates, even breakfast? Tobert had never made me breakfast, he forgot to order for me even when we were together, that’s why I was always the one getting takeout. I had wasted so much time babysitting him that I had completely ignored how I should have been treated.

Roman gave me a puzzled look and I realized that I had been talking too much as usual. It was something I did a lot when I was with him, apparently it had nothing to do with anxiety, but in this particular circumstance maybe it wouldn’t have been the best thing to say. My no longer relationship wasn’t exactly the topic to talk about in the morning with the man I had fucked and slept with. Nope.

- “I’ll do it” – I specified, but it sounded so much like a reassurance now. Was I reassuring him? Should I have? I mean, it had been just one night, there was nothing between us, right? That was how it usually was done… right? – “Not because I expect something between us, I mean, I don’t expect anything even if it was the first time I had done it… with someone other than my ex, not yet ex, not in general, but it doesn’t matter! I’m going to break up with him” – I finally felt silence, exasperated with myself.

I glimpsed a smile curling his lips before he turned his back to finish making breakfast, but not a single comment. Silently I acknowledged my inability to hold a non-awkward conversation with him and finished gathering my things, careful not to forget anything around. It was still early and most of the students would only be back in the afternoon to start the new week the following day, but there was always the possibility of meeting someone on the way out and rumors were absolutely to be avoided for both of us. I settled in as best I could, struggling with my bangs hopelessly open in front of the mirror for a couple of minutes, before realizing that Roman had already finished cooking our breakfast and was watching me, sitting on the same chair where he had eaten me hours before.

Pushing the memory away, I sat down too, mumbling a ‘thank you’ when he offered me the plate on which he had arranged scrambled eggs and what looked just like a french toast. Was there something he didn't know how to do? I was hoping for a lack, whatever, before I left and started over with my life, but no. Of course not. It was even good, dammit!

- “Why do you keep waiting?” - he asked curiously after a while, sipping his coffee with his usual slowness, while I tried not to empty my plate.

For a moment I was confused, I didn't expect it, we had met because of the idiot, but he had never asked even when I had brought up the subject to apologize, he had always listened and pretended nothing had happened. Well, we had kept it as professional as possible before the intensive crossfit session around his apartment, maybe it was the sudden intimacy of the morning breakfast or the bullshit about the first one-night stand I had said.

It was a reasonable question though. I wasn’t happy to answer, but I had asked myself the same thing during my mental monologues lately and I knew the answer.

- “I wanted to know how long he would lie to me” – I admitted, finishing my eggs with a bitter grimace.

- “He’s used to having you, his mind will never make him choose to break up if he can leave things as they are. It can go on forever, it’s basic psychology” – Roman replied unexpectedly, swallowing a bite of his french toast and I looked at him like he had grown another head.

I knew I had wasted time, years, with an idiot incapable of taking responsibility and giving value to me, there was no need to make a case out of it like in a lab. It was a little deeper than that from how I saw it in my head.

- “I thought there was more than that between me and him” - I specified salty.

- “That's not true”

- “What do you mean?!”

Was that his lack by any chance? Emotional insensitivity?!

He gave me an amused look for my reaction, taking all the time he needed to finish chewing and stretch on the chair still half naked before speaking again, a fact that distracted me quite a bit I had to admit and didn't help to give value to the strange conversation born out of nowhere we were having.

- “You wouldn't have let me touch you like that if there was anything else”

Shit.

Twice shit because he was also right.

It wasn't the kind of consideration I wanted to hear someone else make. I didn’t want to do it either, but as terribly embarrassing as it was to talk about it again when I hadn’t had time to change my underwear and pretend our affair was something I could handle without second thoughts, he had hit the nail on the head. And he had figured it out before I did, which automatically erased the supposed lack I had tried to pin on him by putting myself on the defensive. Who was I kidding, anyway? I had admitted that I had never done it with anyone else. Doing that kind of thing wasn’t like me. I wasn’t the most romantic woman in the world, but I had always had respect for my failed relationship. But my sacrifices and efforts had led to nothing but lies and disappointments for me, so in the end I had given up. I wouldn’t have done it if I had thought it was still worth it, if in my heart I had believed I could have a chance with Tobert. Finding solutions and treatments to impossible cases was every doctor’s dream, but sometimes the cases were lost and persisting was a useless waste of energy. My relationship was already in a vegetative state, it was over.

I had had an opportunity to move on, one that doesn't come along every day, I had grabbed it and I hadn't regretted it for a second because I had finally focused on what I wanted and not what I had to. Roman was right, I felt light because I had no guilt, my conscience was clear.

But it didn’t stop me from freaking out when another notification broke the silence that had fallen inside the apartment. We both knew who it was, me for sure, Roman was probably guessing it because he was staring at me with a raised eyebrow as if waiting for my reaction… which never came.

- “You’re procrastinating” – he noted, taking another sip of his coffee.

- “That’s not true”

- “You continue to put it off”

- “I’m considering the most appropriate way”

- “Are you afraid of a scene?”

- “Please! He just has to try!” – another notification.

What the-

- “He’s trying I think”

- “He has delusions of protagonism”

- “Going along with it doesn’t help in that case” – okay, that’s enough.

- “I’m not going along with it and I’m not procrastinating” – I pointed out, hastily typing a message, then exasperatedly dropping my phone in the middle of the table as proof – “Done? See?!”

Silence fell between us and I was sincerely satisfied that I had stopped that interrogation in which he was questioning me even though he knew by his own admission that I had already made my decision, but then it hit me. Lord… Seriously?! I didi t?! I had finally broken up with Tobert, with a not too long message, without looking back, I was free. Roman was looking at me with a pleased grin, I had the impression that there was also a bit of pride on his part in seeing me take control of the situation and finally decide for myself. My eyes went from him to my phone that had suddenly stopped vibrating and another kind of silence enveloped me, the same one I had lulled myself into when I woke up. It was over. I had managed to completely cut that thread that had kept me tied by the neck to the past. It hadn't been the kindest way, but not even the one who was supposed to love me had had that kind of kindness with me. Mine hadn't been revenge, even though he would have deserved more than a punch in the face for how he had treated me, I had turned the page, I had done it for myself, now I could really move on. It felt so liberating.

Why had I waited?!

I instinctively turned to look at Roman again as he stood up with his cup, perhaps to get more coffee, that smile of someone who knows, plastered across his face.

- “Better?” - he asked and I relaxed my shoulders, resigning myself to having been tricked by another man, but for my own good this time.

- “I guess a thank you is needed” - his smile slowly turned into a smirk as he looked me over and over and my mind completely detached from the rest, to focus on him once again like the night before.

- “I’ll take it, but I would take something else too, maybe…”

A new day, a new life for a new me. It didn’t sound bad at all, not at all considering Roman’s proposal. It certainly sounded better than all the lies and dirty videos I had been replaying in my head over and over trying to find a reason. I wasn’t interested in finding out, I wasn’t interested in fixing what had been broken from the start and on which I had wasted so much energy. I’d rather spend it improving my life and what better way than another private anatomy lesson?

Tag squad: @sunnyfleur23 @racerchix21 @alyyaanna @expert-texpert @romanreignsdefencesquad @romanstheory @surdelcielo @keybladeofsteel @msbigredmachine @nayys-world @gobbersworld @utika151209 @cumxxslutt @civildawn @romanmydaddy @triscillal @papireigns-05 @helensanders92 @darqchilddaydreamz @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @nicolewoo @joannasteez @reignsx @kianaleani @daguenoire @extra-11 @333creolelady @snowpanda18 @brattyfics @mzv11 @romanreignseater @dreamsinfocus @vebner37 @depressedneedingrevenge @cyberdejos2 @mahi-wayy @jxtina-86 @harmshake @southerngirl41 @smile1318 @headoftheetable @sortudademais

[edledamianfan]

Ride homes late at night sure is a feeling, especially on a high way going at a fast speed on the way home. Looking at the window and u see the whole city below you. The lights and everything, it's just a feeling, fleeting moment that last with u for a lifetime.

I wonder that's what dick felt when he was Robin on the Batmobile. Every single night on the same roads, highways, going out, going back back after fighting crimes.

But there is something missing here.

Having music playing would've been nicer.

It would distract him from his thoughts.

Bats doesn't really do music ... but it doesn't hurt to ask. Well he did say no at first but after dick mentioning his thoughts about his parents and stuff. He reconsidered and ends up approving it.

Spooky decides picks the music until he realised he know nothing about today's music. So it look him a while until he found a playlist he seemed to find nice.

So the next time they're in the Batmobile, when the coast is clear and the night is saved and all they gotta do now is head home. Bats plugs in the USB for the songs and plays them.

Dick knows some of these songs. It's pretty popular in his time and there are some songs that he's not familiar with. But it gets him away from his thoughts so it's somewhat worked. He'll have to listen to it as this now their daily playlist.

The USB then stays there for a while even when dick is no longer here with Bruce, out doing his own thing. He didn't want to remove it.

And then a new Robin comes along. Jason asking what is that USB and Bats offers him if he wants to hear the playlist. He said yeah ofc.

1 min in he's thought to himself that Bats listens to popular songs, although these are kind of old. I guess he's somewhat the same like everyone.

And then Jason died.

USB was not touched again for a while until tim came along. Batman was pretty much on edge during this time, although curious about the USB Tim decides not to pry on it - directly to the man. Instead he sneak in back to the Batmobile during bed time just to see what's the USB is about. And then caught by Bruce himself.

Well he was mad at first but after realizing he was just curious what is in the plugged USB. Bruce decides to just show it for himself what it is about. Tim was definitely not expecting it to be a playlist. Bruce then asks if he wants to play this playlist. Tim just rolls with it.

Then Stephanie came along. She was pretty much straightforward asking what was in the USB. But Bruce was real defensive about it for some reason so Stephanie just shrinked back. He then realized his mistake and offers if she wants to hear the playlist. She happily accepts.

This time Bruce died.

Dick is now stuck with a kid he is not sure on how to handle. Stuck back in Gotham. Stuck in the costume he was trying to get away from.

He wasn't sure on how to do anything but he needs to do so anyways because he's the only one who can do it. This that happens and so the new dynamic duo was formed.

They then got in the Batmobile. And there Grayson is greeted again by that familiar USB. He thought he forgot, Bruce had changed Batmobiles a couple of time and with all that is happening he didn't think that he would remember to bring the inessential USB playlist into the new ride everytime.

He felt his warm all the same again.

Maybe a bit emotional.

But it maybe the inessential USB playlist gave him all the motivation and courage he needed at that moment.

He then stepped on the gas, drive out of the cave.

Into the night.

End note:

This was my playlist I was thinking about. U can check it out if u want! These are most of the songs I remembered that used to be on the car USB. Uhhh this ended up being longer than I thought I was gonna do like a short silly idea but hi if u reached the end 😅

[moody-alcoholic]

Special Delivery Service

Chapter 16 - The Request

Summary: Simon x reader, 4.8k words. New job, new challenges, new choices.

CW: Language, descriptions of weapons, panic attack, PTSD, bad radio etiquette? Bad radio coms, first draft.

AN: After all the hurt I've been writing I needed this.

Previous - masterlist - Next

AO3

You think John was the most excited about you offering to take everyone out suit shopping. He excitedly gave you the company card, a list of specifications and an address to a tailor. It’s in a shopping centre just outside the city. You haven’t been to  a shopping centre since the attack. The thought of going back into one makes your stomach turn. 

“Don’t let Johnny pick the lunch spot, last time he spent a fortune.” John says. You nod smiling. Simon said he would drive which made Johnny and Kyle go green. You’re not sure why Simon is a good driver. You give him the address and head to the car.

“I call shotgun!” Johnny shouts like a child running to the front passenger door. 

“Hey, that's my seat!” You call back.

“Yeah, let the love birds have the front seats.” Kyle says.

“So we can make out in the back?” Johnny teases back, winking at him and moving to the back door. You hear Simon sigh, you can already tell his social battery is at zero, and who knows how long this will take.

“You don’t have to come.” You say to him over the car before you both get in. 

“And leave you alone with the company card and Johnny.” He says, raising an eyebrow. You smile at him and get in. Johnny plays DJ, his phone already hooked up to the speakers as he fights over music with Kyle. 

“You should put some of Kira Nova’s songs on. Get to know the client.” You say turning back to look at him. The sound of bagpipes fills the car for the second time. Kyle is almost manhandling the phone out of Johnny’s hand as he protests. 

“If I have to spend another trip listening to bagpipes I will throw you out of this car.” Kyle says. Suddenly the music switches to pop, and a woman starts singing. 

“This is her?” Simon asks, looking over at you quickly, his eyes creased. You nod. “I think this was number 1 for a while.” You say. Everyone listens in silence until the song is almost finished. 

“You’re not going to make us learn the words are you?” Johnny asks, you chuckle. 

“No, you’ll have plenty of time at the concerts.” You look at Simon who sighs. Simon drives the car into a parking structure, nerves rise in you. It’s the first time you’ve been in a shopping centre since the attack. You’re gripping the seat belt as Johnny and Kyle get out enthusiastically and jumps out the car. 

Simon goes to open the door but he hesitates looking back at you. You’re still gripping the seat belt. Your breathing has picked up as you look over at Johnny and Kyle making their way over to the entrance. 

“Baby, you okay?” He asks his hand landing on your thigh and giving it a squeeze. It pulls you back to reality and you turn to look at him. His expression suddenly becomes darker as he turns in his seat. 

“I’m okay, it’s just.. It’s a shopping centre.” You say letting out a breath and unclipping your seat belt. Simon’s hand squeezes your thigh again.

“It’s okay. Do you want to go home? We can get a taxi back.” He says, tipping his head. You smile at him looking at Johnny and Kyle waiting by the entrance.

“No, I can’t let it control me.” You say. His hand comes up to your face pulling it to look at him. 

“You’re going to be fine. We’re all here, if you need to leave at any point then we will.” He says rubbing your chin with his thumb. You smile at him nodding. He leans over and presses his lips to yours, his kiss feels good as his hand strokes your face. You let his tongue run over yours, his movements soft pressing his body closer to you.

You want the kiss to last forever and not have to go into this centre just be here with Simon. There’s a knock on the car’s glass. 

“Hey love-birds, we’re on a clock here.” Johnny says as you break from the kiss looking up at him. Simon rolls his eyes and you both get out of the car. Simon waits for you holding his hand out as you walk next to him pulling your jacket closed. It’s cold, you can see your breath. It’s going to be winter soon, you’ll have to find out when the clocks go back.

You’re so stuck in your own head you don’t even realise you’re in the shopping centre until you feel warm and loosen the grip on your jacket. You look over at Simon who smiles at you squeezing your hand. Kyle and Johnny enthusiastically head up an escalator, you follow them a few steps behind. 

“Been here before?” You ask Simon. He nods, he’s pulled a mask up over his nose since you’ve walked in. He must have them stashed everywhere cos he always seems to have them on hand. When you make it to the next floor you see the suit shop from a mile away. Conveniently next to a wedding gown store. 

You follow Johnny in as a man comes from round the counter to greet them open arms. He’s an older looking man with a moustache and grey hair. You can hear him greeting them all by name. 

“And who is this lovely lady?” He asks you to extend his arm, you take it, telling him your name. He responds with his name; Greg.

“Simon’s better half.” Johnny Jokes already looking through a turnstyle of suit jackets. It makes you blush as the man looks up wide eyed at Simon. 

“So where's Johnathan? The man asks. 

“He’s swamped with paperwork.” Simon explains to the disappointment of Greg.

“So what are you looking for?” He asks, looking round at everyone.

“4 suits, for work.” Simon says as Johnny is taking different coloured jackets off the rack, Simon looks up at him. “All black.” Johnny huffs putting the jackets back on the rack. You smile at him, as he turns over to the all black jackets. 

“Is one of them for the lovely lady?” Greg asks, looking back at you and smiling. 

“No, she's just here to watch us dress up.” Johnny says heading through to what looks like the changing rooms. Greg chuckles and follows after him as you all walk through while Johnny waits outside a room that says ‘private’ Greg walks up and opens the door. 

When you walk through it's another room, smaller than the main floor but filled with suits and 2 changing rooms. 

 “Just got a new shipment last month.” Greg says as he goes over to a jacket taking it off the rack. He holds it up, sticking his hand inside and spreading open a pocket. “You’re usual concealed carry sewn in, even a place for a bigger radio. These are American, the same ones the secret service uses.” 

“You say that about all your suits.” Kyle says walking over to Johnny who’s looking at trousers. Greg turns with him.

“Ah yes and the new trousers, elastic waistband at the back, and you can pick a left or right concealed carry slot.” He explains pulling a pair out. Simon’s hand rests on your back as you take in the scene. You should have known it was not going to be a normal tailors. 

“You okay?” he asks, you look up at him and smile nodding.

“We have new kevlar plates too.” You hear Greg say and Johnny makes an excited noise. “We’re only here for suits.” Simon says going over to them. You stand there watching and listening as they look for their size of clothes. Greg ushers you over to a chair as you watch him go back to fussing over the boys. 

You watch as they try on different size jackets, all the same though as per John’s instructions black suit, no tie, no waist coat. Steel toe shoes, white or black shirts. You’ve all ready seen Simon eyeing up the black shirts. 

“What’s the news on a tactical kilt?” Johnny calls from the changing room. 

“Not much market for a tactical kilt in America.” Greg calls while measuring Simon’s mid section. Johnny steps out from the changing room with his jacket open turning around. 

“What do you think lass?” Johnny asks, winking at you. 

“You look good.” You nod at him smiling.

“Here.” Kyle comes over to Johnny handing him a weapon. Your breath catches in your throat, you can hear your heart thumping in your chest. You see the black metal as Johnny puts it inside his jacket then standing straight. 

You remember the cold feel of the weapon you had in your hands, you remember it firing off, how the kick back felt. You can smell the blood. You swallow your throat suddenly dry. You watch Johnny taking the weapon out and putting it back in its concealed spot with no issues. You stand up your chest suddenly feeling tight.

“You okay lass?” Johnny asks. You open your mouth to tell him you’re okay but all you can see is the weapon in his hand. It makes the words catch in your throat. Panic rises in you. You need air, you need to breathe. 

You turn heading for the exit ignoring the people calling behind you. You burst through the door into the main store. You brace yourself on the wall trying to suck in gulps of air. 

Simon crashes through the door and you turn to see him. His hands finding your shoulders moving you to look at him. 

“I-I can’t breathe,” you manage to get out, your head swimming as you pant for breaths with a hand on your chest. You see a glint of something in his eyes as he pushes you through into one of the changing rooms.

“You’re having a panic attack.” He says his voice level as he gently presses you down on the bench closing the curtain behind him. 

“What that- n-not possible.” You say. You don’t have panic attacks, soldiers and abused people have panic attacks. People who have PTSD, you don’t have PTSD. 

Simon kneels down so his face is level with yours one of his hands comes round to the back of your head the other grips the hand at your chest. 

“Just breathe, look at me and breathe.” You try looking at his face, he quickly pulls his mask down before moving his hand back to squeeze yours. 

“In and out come on. Breathe with me.” He takes in a big lungful of air and you follow him after a few deep breaths the pain subsided and tingling picked up in your fingers. You suddenly feel sick, your head swimming. 

Before you can stop yourself, tears spill over your eyes. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Simon says, wrapping his arms round you pulling you against him. 

“LT you good?” You hear Johnny call which makes you jump. 

“Yeah, we’re good.” Simon calls before he can come looking for you. You let out another long breath bringing your free hand up to wipe your eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” You say as a door closes. 

“About what? Nothing to be sorry about.” He says his hand moving to rub your thigh. He waits a few seconds letting you take some more breaths. 

“What happened do you remember?” He asks. You nod but you feel like you can’t say it something builds in your throat. 

“The gun.” Is all you manage it coming out with a sob.

“Ah, shit I'm sorry. I didn’t think.” He says his hands come up to find your face. You’re trying to shake your head. He shouldn’t have to constantly worry about you.

“It’s not real, just a prop Greg uses so we can test the suits.” He sighs, you don’t know if you believe him but you don’t care. 

“I should have guessed it wasn’t going to be a regular tailors shop.” You say smiling, his hand cups your cheek. 

“I know, I should have told you. I’ll warn you next time.” He says. 

“It’s okay,” you say standing up. “You shouldn’t have to worry about me-” 

He stops you planting his lips on yours. You close your eyes letting his hands run over you, as he presses himself against you. You can feel his warmth, his tongue pressing in your mouth, it's a familiar dance grounding you as you moan, letting yourself relax. 

He pulls away, you look up at him, his eyes twinkling in the low light. 

“Don’t worry about me, I will be here for you no matter what. I want to make sure you’re happy and you feel safe.” He says his thumb rubbing your cheek. 

“I am safe, I am happy. This won’t happen again.” You say, you want to believe the words coming out his mouth. For his sake at least.

“It will, but I'll be there, every time.” He kisses your forehead. “How about this, I’ll pay Greg, get the boys to take a taxi home and we can go out for a nice meal. Wherever you fancy.” He says. 

“I feel bad for leaving them stranded.” You say. 

“Don’t. They’ll be fine, besides they’re going to be here for a while.” He smiles. You nod, sniffling and composing yourself. His hands leave your body as he heads back into the room coming out a few minutes later. You loop your arm in his and you quickly walk out to the car.

“They didn’t mind?” You ask as he turns the engine on. 

“I gave them the company card and told them to treat themselves.” He smiles. 

“John left me in charge of that, he’ll be so mad if Johnny over spends.” You say gripping your seatbelt.

“Let me worry about Price.” Simon chuckles. “So where do you want to eat?” 

You look out the window as you drive out the parking garage. It feels like a weight has been lifted as soon as you’re out to the main road. 

“Pizza.” You say reaching over to squeeze his thigh. You looks at you smiling. 

You’re back in the city centre at some Italian place that you’re sure is way too fancy. You feel like you should have made a reservation but Simon seems to be chummy with the maître d' and before you know it you’re being seated and offered complimentary champagne. 

Simon refuses but you gladly drink it down after the morning you’ve had. You let him order, picking the food. 

“So does this mean I'm always going to be afraid of shopping centres?” You ask reaching over and grabbing his hand. 

“We’ll talk about it another time. I promise. Lets just enjoy lunch.” He says.

“I love you.” You say squeezing his hand.

“I love you too.” He smiles squeezing it back. 

The food comes soon after, pizza’s and a caprese salad, plenty of garlic bread and enough chili oil you feel like you could drown in it. You eat and listen to Simon talk, he seems enthusiastic for once, the thought of the job behind him. For the first time in a long time it feels like you’re truly spending time with him.  

“I think I’m going to look for a new flat.” You say suddenly. Simon turns to look at you. 

“Where do you think you will move to?” He asks. 

“I don’t know, do you have any good ideas?” You ask watching for his reaction. 

“There’s nice flats in canary wharf.” he says. 

“Bit pricey.” You chuckle, taking a drink. He doesn’t seem to be getting it, your glances seem to just be putting him on edge. You let out a sigh leaning across the table to him. 

“I’m asking you to move in with me.” You say smiling. He frowns for a second. You lean back. Maybe this was a bad idea. 

“If you want. I mean you don’t have to. If you don’t want to. If it’s too soon.” You blurt out heat rushing to your cheeks. You feel bad but you’re already practically living together. Then he chuckles, you look up at him smiling at you. 

“What?” You ask, feeling really embarrassed now. He reaches across the table picking up your hand. 

“I was waiting to ask you. You beat me to it.” You look up at him frowning. “I’ve been looking for flats for the last few weeks. I didn’t want to ask you until I had a place I could show you.” 

“Really?” You ask not quite believing him. He nods.

“I love you, of course I would love to live with you.” He kisses the back of your hand. You get up off your feet going round to him and kissing him properly. 

 —————————— 

You’re rudely woken the next morning by John hammering on your door. You’re getting out of bed when he lets himself in. 

“What the hell! How do you have a key?” You ask, still rubbing the sleep out your eyes. He’s wearing a black suit and shirt. He holds up a similar suit in a bag. Simon comes behind you.

“Simon gave me a key.” He says as he throws the hanger to Simon.

“For emergencies.” Simon grumbles going to the bathroom. John comes over to you, handing you 2 radios and a phone.

“Work phone, keep it on you at all times. Gaz set it up with alerts for Charlotte, she starts spouting on social media let me know.” He says you just nod at him taking it all in. He turns around to see the bathroom door closed and the shower start.

“No time for a shower Riley, we’re already late!” He calls. You hear the shower turn off. 

“What’s going on? I thought we weren't needed for a few more days.” You say looking down at the radios and earpieces. 

“She wants us to be there for her rehearsal, it will give us a good chance to test equipment.” John says. You nod, sighing and heading back out the door. Simon comes out of the bathroom half dressed buttoning his shirt up. He does look good in a suit. 

“Good morning.” He smiles. 

“Morning.” You smile back at him, putting the radio’s and phone on the table. You dress as quickly as you can pulling on the clothes you had ready for the first day. When you come out Simon is fully dressed he already has his mask tucked under his chin. 

You go over to him untangling the mess of radios. He comes over to you with one in his hands. 

“You look good, very smart.” He hums as he attaches the radio to the front of your high waist pants. You can’t help your fingers moving over to him as he fiddles with the wires.

“Don’t look too bad yourself.” You say. He does look really good in a suit. He pushes your hair behind your ear pressing the transparent earpiece in. 

“Comfy?” He asks as your hand goes up to feel it. You wiggle it before nodding. He smiles, kissing your cheek connecting his own up. He has a special hidden pocket, his jacket hiding the bulky black radio perfectly. You feel out of place with yours just stuck on your hip. 

“It’s already tuned, we’ll always be on the same frequency.” He sighs. 

“What?” You ask.

“I don’t know how to teach you years of radio etiquette in a few seconds. His hand runs up to turn your radio on. You hear a click and a burst of static. 

“This is your volume, this is where you speak, you will have to press and hold the button. There’s a slight delay so wait a second before talking. Like this.” He presses the button on what looks like a volume controller. It’s stuck on the pocket of his vest. 

“Soap, I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long.” He says smiling. 

“Yeah?” Johnny’s voice comes back in your ear. 

“Yeah, There’s something fishy about that place.” Simon says. You chuckle. 

“Will you two hurry up? We were supposed to be there at 9.” John says. You look down at your watch, it's almost 10. Simon smiles as you follow him out the flat locking the door behind you. It feels strangely powerful dressed in a pants suit and an earpiece. 

“Do you have to say over and copy and all that stuff?” You ask as you walk to the car waiting outside.

“You don’t have to. I’ll tell you more when we’re there.” He says opening the door for you. Kyle scoots to the middle and you get in. 

“Looking good lass.” Johnny calls leaning over to see you. You smile at him but you can’t tell if he’s mocking you or not. You’re too tired. The drive to the O2 goes quicker than you think. John drives through some gates and round into a staff car park. There’s a massive tour bus parked near some open doors. 

You assume since the bus has a massive billboard of her latest album plastered on the side it belongs to Kira. 

Everyone gets out of the car and one by one John gives orders out with each person leaving until it’s only you and John left. John leads you through to a room and when you walk in it looks like a green room. Sofas and coffee table with magazines, refreshments including a coffee machine and water cooler. 

The thing that makes it stand out though is the desk with multiple monitors. You can see some of them are looking at the main stage with lights flashing. John walks over to the desk pulling the chair back. 

“This is where you’ll be. Watching us.” John says you walk over sitting in the chair and pulling it under the desk. John comes behind you showing you how to control the cameras, and the rest of the software you’re not used to. 

It’s easy enough, you get a whole overview of the main hall and back passages all the way out to the back parking where you came in. 

“I’m assuming Simon gave you the baby's first guide on how to use the radio?” John asks. 

“Always says over and out. Don’t forget to always call John daddy.” You say teasing him. He sighs. 

“Keep the channel clear as much as possible, you’ll pick up when and when not to talk. Only use call signs.” John reaches forward and flicks open a book. “I wrote them all down, bravo call signs and the others.” 

“Ghost, Soap, Gaz. I get it.” You say looking down the list. Your name is there too. “Watcher one?” 

“Yeah, well, you are watching us.” He says. You nod looking up at him. 

“Anything else I need to know?” 

“You’ll pick it up, I promise. It’s not as daunting as it seems.” He says placing his hands on your shoulder and squeezing. “We’ll take the next few days to test things out, get used to things.” 

“I’m sure I'll figure it out.” You promise him. 

“Yeah you will.” He steps away from you. “C’mon we need to meet with her and her manager. Get instructions from them, paperwork needs signing.” 

You nod, getting up and following him through the back passages of the building, past more greenrooms, changing rooms, the things you would expect to see behind a stage. When you make it to Kira’s room you see Kyle already waiting outside. You watch John talk to Kyle who’s leaning up against a crate of something. 

“How’s it going lass, Price talked your ear off?” He asks, throwing his arm around you. 

“Yeah, he told me all about the real reason for your call sign. You stuck a bar of soap up your ass.” You say. He laughs causing John and Kyle to look over at you both. Johnny walks over to them with open arms calling over at John. You smile watching them as your work phone pings.

You bring it out looking at the notification. She’s doing it again, calling people out only this time it’s not the fan group it’s the terrorists. The same ones Simon was chasing. The ones who killed your brother, Hannah. 

You feel anger rise as you read them. 

“What the fuck.” You say anger thick in your voice you’re almost shaking as adrenaline pumps through you. How dare she. You look up and rush forward bursting through the door to her dressing room. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!” She shouts standing up off the sofa 

“What do you think you’re doing?” You snap back, holding your phone so she can she. She squints at the screen. “You said you would stop posting.” 

“What?” She asks confused, shaking her head.

“My brother was killed. By the terrorists you’re so casually calling out. You might think you’re untouchable but it’s not you who will get hurt, it's innocent people. Like my brother.”

“Are you not going to do anything about this? I want her out of here!” She calls looking past you at whoever is behind you. You know John and Simon are there at least. 

“You did say you would stop the posts.” John says. 

“If you let them think they can win you’re just as bad as them.” She says throwing her hands up then crossing her arms.

“They’re not going to win. What do you think this is some kind of game? These people do actual harm. You can’t be that stupid!” You shout back, you’re shaking with anger. There’s sadness too, your brother's death can’t be for nothing. 

You always thought celebrities don’t care about regular people, this is just hammering that point home. Right now you’re angry and you hate her.

“This is ridiculous. I want you all out of here!” She snaps calling for her manager. A hand comes on your shoulder but that just makes you even more angry. You shrug the hand off and take a step up to her. 

“Look. I really don’t care what you say or what you think is right but you’re putting my friends lives at risk. You’re paying them to put their lives on the line for you. Every time you do this you increase the chance of them getting hurt, actually physical harm do you understand that?” Your voice is low as you look in her eyes leaning forward. 

You see something switch, there’s fear there, she nods closing her mouth. “I don’t care what happens to you but I do care gravely what happens to them. And so help you God if they get hurt because of your stupid, childish actions.” 

“What the bloody hell is going on!” A voice calls out. There's a hand on your shoulder this time pulling you back. You let him turning to look at everyone in the room and Richard, her manager walking in with a confused look on his face. Kira starts shouting as you walk past them all out the room. 

You hear John protesting as the door slams closed behind you. You’re embarrassed the adrenaline is wearing off. You’re thinking about your brother, he’s dead and she’s calling them ‘pussies’ for the world to see. 

Your hands are balled into fists as you look at the ground fighting back the tears. Johnny and Kyle don’t say anything as Simon’s hand lands on the small of your back. You step away wrapping your arms around your chest.

“I’ll meet you back at the van.” You say trying not to let your voice falter as you walk away without looking back.  

You’re half way through a cigarette when Johnny and John walk towards you. You take one last breath before throwing it on the floor and stamping it out. 

“I’m sorry.” You say as soon as John reaches you. He chuckles and you look at Johnny smiling too. 

“You don’t have to apologise to me.” John says. You let out a sigh, yes you do, he’s your boss you let your emotions take over. You should have been professional. 

“You did good.” Johnny says John holds his hand up. 

“She doesn’t want you near her anymore.” John says. You nod, it makes sense.  

“Yeah I assumed that.” You say taking out another cigarette. You’ve just smoked one but you already feel like you need another one. “I’ll just sit in the office, do all the paperwork. Hang out with William.” 

Johnny chuckles again. “You’re not going anywhere. She doesn’t need to know you’re around. We need you to do your job more than she needs to be happy.” 

“What so I have to hide now?” You ask.

“No, you have to do your job. Keep your distance, but more importantly keep us safe.” John says, stepping closer to you. You swallow hard, a lump in your throat. You don’t know if you’re ready to have their life in your hands.

“You can do that right?” John asks, handing you his lighter. You accept it, putting the cigarette between your lips and lighting it. You hand the lighter back to him. 

“Watcher one right?” You say turning your head to blow the smoke away. They smile and John puts the lighter back in his pocket. 

“Watcher one.” John replies.

Next

Banners by Firefly Graphics

[djloveyou3000]

Belladonna

Chapter eight

“You know you’re going to tell me everything,” Russell’s rough voice finally broke the silence, deep and commanding. It wasn’t a question or a suggestion—it was a demand.

Bell’s heart sank at his tone. It was the same voice he had used back in West Berlin when they uncovered the horrifying truth of their brainwashing. They’d hoped to never hear that side of him again.

But they weren’t ready to talk. Not now. “No,” Bell muttered, still staring at their lap. “I’m not in the mood. I need time to process.”

The air in the car seemed to grow heavier.

Russell’s jaw ticked, and his patience wore thin. He yanked the car to the side of the road with a sharp turn, the tires screeching as he slammed the brakes. Bell jerked forward, startled, and before they could react, Russell removed his seatbelt and turned toward them.

“What the fuck did you just say?” he growled, his voice low and dangerous.

Bell flinched as his hand shot out, gripping their chin and forcing them to look at him. His eyes were sharp, piercing through them with a mix of anger and frustration, gripping their jaw in a way that made it impossible to turn away. The strength of his hold left Bell’s skin throbbing, and their eyes widened in fear.

“I don’t think I heard you,” he sneered. “Repeat what you just fucking said.”

They tried to pry his hand off, but he only tightened his grip, his other hand pinning their wrists with ease.

“REPEAT. WHAT. YOU. JUST. SAID,” Russell snapped, his voice booming inside the confined space of the car. “I thought I made it perfectly clear—you tell me fucking everything!”

Bell’s wide eyes glistened with fear as they tried to pull away, but Russell’s grip only tightened.

“Bell,” he snapped, his voice growing louder. “I thought I made it perfectly clear—you tell me everything. No exceptions!”

Tears began to blur Bell’s vision, their chest tightening as panic set in.

Seeing their tears, Russell’s lips curled into a cruel smirk. “Oh, is my baby crying now?” he mocked, his tone cold and taunting. “You should’ve listened to me the first time.”

The tears fell freely now, and Bell struggled to free themselves, but Russell’s otter hand gripped hardder , pinning their wrists in place.

“You think I’m going to let this slide?” he hissed. “Do I need to drill it into your skull, Bell?”

Leaning in closer, he took a long drag from his cigarette, exhaling the smoke directly into Bell’s face. The unexpected action made them cough, their small, broken voice only fueling his dominance.

“You look so pretty like this,” he said softly, his tone shifting into something unsettlingly smooth. His thumb brushed against their trembling lips. “All teary-eyed and vulnerable. I could just fuck you right here, and you wouldn’t stop me, would you?”

Bell froze, their mind reeling at his words. The Russell they thought they knew—the one who had promised to protect them—was nowhere to be found in this moment.

But just as quickly as the darkness in his voice came, it was replaced with a soothing, almost apologetic tone. His grip loosened, and he cupped their face gently, wiping away their tears with his thumb.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he murmured, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to their forehead. “I don’t know what came over me.”

Bell blinked up at him, confused and trembling, their chest heaving as they tried to catch their breath.

Russell unbuckled their seatbelt and pulled them into his lap, cradling them as though they were the most fragile thing in the world. His hands stroked their back, his lips brushing over their temple, then trailing down to press lingering kisses along their hairline.

“You just made me so mad,” he whispered against their skin. “It hurts me to see you confused and shutting me out. I just want to help you. Can’t you see that?”

Bell’s throat tightened at his words, but before they could reply, he pulled back just enough to meet their gaze, his own eyes shimmering with feigned pain.

“When you don’t let me in,” he continued, his voice cracking just enough to sound sincere, “it makes me feel like you don’t trust me. Don’t love me. Do you hate me, Bell? Am I really just a monster to you?”

He removed his aviators, letting them see the raw vulnerability he was projecting.

“No,” Bell said quickly, their voice trembling. “No, that’s not it! I trust you—I love you!”

They clung to him desperately, their tears soaking into his shirt as they sobbed into his chest. “I’m sorry,” they whispered over and over again, their hands clutching at him like a lifeline.

Russell’s lips curled into a satisfied smirk as he stroked their hair, his hand occasionally dipping to brush against their tear-streaked cheeks. “That’s my good little Bell,” he murmured, his voice soft and full of pride.

His lips found theirs, kissing them deeply and possessively, leaving no room for hesitation. Bell melted into the kiss, their resolve completely shattered as they clung to him.

“Shh, it’s okay now,” he cooed, pulling away just enough to kiss their forehead again. “I forgive you.”

Exhausted and emotionally drained, Bell eventually fell asleep against his chest. Russell looked down at them, brushing a strand of hair from their face as a dark satisfaction flickered in his gaze.

Carefully, he started the car again, driving home with Bell still curled up in his lap. Once they arrived, he slipped out of the car, carrying them bridal-style into the house.

In their shared bedroom, he laid them gently on the bed, undressing them with meticulous care. He replaced their clothes with fresh undergarments and soft pajamas, his hands lingering a little too long as he dressed them.

After tucking them under the covers, he leaned down to press a final kiss to their forehead, brushing his fingers through their hair.

Standing over them, he lit another cigarette, the glow from the embers casting shadows across his face. His thoughts were a swirling mix of darkness and possessiveness, tinged with a twisted sense of love.

“You’ll always be mine, Bell,” he whispered, his voice low and firm. “No matter what.”

[ramhaiba]

𝖫𝗂𝖺𝗋, 𝖫𝗂𝖺𝗋 𝗉𝗍. 2

Pairing- Yandere Rintaro Suna x Reader

Masterlist . . . Part one

"For what it’s worth princess, if the devil is real. It’s me.”

Contains- Serial Killer! Suna, oral (f receiving), dubcon, semi-public fingering, groping, choking, biting, manhandling, riding overstimulation, marathon sex, mentions of necrophilia/noncon, implied somnophila, baby trapping(?) A/N- sorry for the long wait guys, writer's block can be a bitch

Sleeping with him was the biggest mistake of your life-

No. letting him ‘help’ you was the biggest mistake of your life. 

Ever since you two had sex, he’s been sleeping in the same bed as you. You did attempt to persuade him to sleep on the couch once again but he simply responded with

‘We both saw what happens when I sleep on the couch, sweetheart. Besides, sharing the same bed might bring back some of those ‘dear’ memories you lost.”  As you predicted, it would be challenging to sneak out of your room at night, especially when Suna’s arm is wrapped around your waist, his chin tucked on your shoulder, and his stern back against your chest.

You thought about lying to him, telling him you’re getting up from bed to use the bathroom but really you’re planning to find his car keys and drive away from this nightmare. But what if you take too long and he gets suspicious? Last time you got lucky when he misunderstood your attempt to steal his car keys.

You hate that you spent the entire week with him, pretending to be in a loving marriage, kissing him sweetly, and sometimes bathing with him. But he hasn’t fucked you since the first time- well with his dick at least. 

If he thinks you look too cute in a nightgown- which you always do, he’ll push you down on the bed, scrunching up your silky slip-on onto your breast and shamelessly make out with your cunt, fingers holding your thighs down and apart to keep you from squirming away. He never fails to give you an intense orgasm. You're so addicted to his touch that you don’t know how you’ll be able to cum again once you escape from him...While on the topic of escaping, you’re finding the idea of freedom too difficult to obtain by yourself. You’re gonna need help.

“ So- I remember you mentioned before that we were still friends with twins from high school” You blurted out while having dinner with your ‘fiancé.’

“ Yeah, Osamu and Atsumu. What about them?” Suna asked nonchalantly. “Well, I think you should invite them over. I think it’d be good for me to meet someone from my past” you suggested.

“ It’d be hard to contact them because the service in this place is horrible” Suna claimed, leaning back in his chair. You let out an instant “oh” with a noticeable pout on your lips.

Then you heard Suna sigh, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Okay. There is this part of the house where the service is somewhat usable. But it’s on the roof so I don’t want you following me there. Your body is still sore which makes it difficult for you to stay up there without falling” Suna pointed out.

He’s right. You’ll probably hurt yourself if you try going on that roof. So the idea of stealing his phone to call for help isn’t possible.

“You have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you, Rin” You complimented. “ Yeah well, I gotta keep my wife happy” Suna got up and kissed your forehead before retreating upstairs.

You waited impatiently for Suna to come back down. A sick part of you wishes that he’d accidentally slip off the roof, breaking his neck because then you’d be freed from this nightmare. But he only takes twenty minutes to come back down, placing his phone back into his pocket as he walks towards you.

“So? Did they say yes?” you questioned. “They said they would love to stop by. But I had to make Atsumu promise he wouldn’t bring another hookup over. I better start cooking dinner because those two guys know how to eat- especially Osamu” Suna replied, giving you an endearing pat on the head as he went to prepare for their arrival. 

--

You hadn’t seen any pictures of the twins prior before they arrived, so it was quite intimidating when two muscular tall men stood at your doorstep. The dark-haired one holding a classic bottle of wine. While Atsumu opened his arms to you, giving you an unwelcomed hug.

“There is our Y/n. It’s been too long since we saw ya” The bold twin one cooed, his arms around you tightened.

“You’re one foot in and already flirtin’ with my fiance- don’t you have any shame, Atsumu?” Suna replied, subtly informing you of the difference between the twins.

So if the blonde, somewhat pervy, twin was Atsumu. The other one must be Osamu.

“I ain’t flirting. I was just being friendly to a friend who’s gotten into a terrible- just terrible accident “ Atsumu pouted.

“I decided to tell them your situation. I hope you don’t mind” Suna commented, smiling innocently.

It’s unsettling.

They’re completely lying to you- you’re not friends with them. How are they so eerily confident then? How can these two lie straight to your face and pretend that you’re Suna's fiancé?

Because you’re not. You’re not his fiancé. 

Right?

Dinner with them made you even more confused. They’re doing the same thing that Suna did. Reciting old stories about your so-called past together. It’s getting more difficult to distinguish what’s the truth or not. Yet Atsumu’s words manage to slip you back into reality.

“You should really be thanking me. If I set you two up in college- y’all would not be getting married.. at least Suna wouldn’t be” Atsumu teased.

“I thought we started dating in high school?” You spoke up, pointing out Atsumu’s mistake. Rather than Atsumu getting embarrassed for making such an innocent mistake. 

Atsumu got nervous.

If you weren’t already so superstitious during dinner, you wouldn’t have noticed how he blinked away, how forced his laughter sounded, and how his brother deadly glared at him.

“Would you pardon us? I think I have to remind Atsumu about some manners” Osamu asked, seeming all friendly while his jawline clenched, a fist under the table. 

Suna clicked him, glancing at a nervous Atsumu and then back at Osamu.” Go ahead,” Suna replied.

You were left alone with him once again.

You and you’re fiancé-no he’s not your fiancé. You and your demon.

“You’re lookin’ a bit nervous, sweetheart. Are you feeling okay? Just say the word and I can get these idiots to leave any time” Suna suggested. “No- they don’t need to leave. I just need to go to the bathroom to freshen up. That’s all” Your laughter sounded a bit too forced, sweaty palms pushing you up out of your seat. “Don’t take too long” Suna mumbled, watching you march quickly out of the dining room.

This is your chance.

You can ask- no- you're going to beg the twins to help you because surely, they wouldn’t want to risk being an accomplice for a serial killer.

You followed their distant voices, words too unintelligible to understand. Eventually, you ended up in front of the door connecting the garage to the summer house. Luckily, they left the door slightly ajar, allowing you to hear their conversation clearly.

You were about to walk in before you heard Osamu say

“Are you a fuckin’ idiot, Tsumu? At this point, Suna not gonna let either of us have a turn with her” Osamu argued with his brother.

“Shut up- shut up. I’m a fuckin’ volleyball player not an actor” Atsumu huffed. “Yeah and I own a restaurant but I know how to keep my story straight,” Osamu remarked.

“I don’t even know why Suna cares s’much about keeping up this whole game” Atsumu commented.

“he’s just gonna kill her like the rest.”

Your heart is racing because your last hope of escaping this n nightmare just revealed they could care less about your life- fuck they could be worse than Suna. Instinctually, you step away from the door, wanting to be as far away from them as possible. But that’s when you feel a stern chest against your back, stopping you from backing away. You slowly turn your head and notice Suna behind you, his eyes glued on the view of the twins arguing about whether they’ll still get a ‘turn’ with you after Atsumu’s mishap.

“Rin-“

“Quiet. It’s always amusing to watch the twins argue, right? “ Suna replied, his hand tilting your face to watch the twins, his chin resting on top of your head, forcing you to watch the truth unfold.

“You know he does sadistic shit like this all the time. Just try to have fun with her while she’s still alive” Osamu huffed.

“I didn’t come here to play an actor. I just wanna fuck her before Suna finally cuts her up or whatever sadistic shit he plans to do with her” Atsumu groaned.

“ Yeah, well, there's no way in hell he’s gonna let you have a turn with her if you don’t play along correctly. You’d be lucky if he even lets you fuck her corpse” 

Atsumu hummed, his once annoyed attitude slowly disappearing as he looked lost in thought- until he made the comment

“I wouldn’t mind that at all actually.”

You want to stop listening but Suna won’t let you. “Please, just let me go and I won’t- I won’t tell anyone” you muttered, voice cracking. Suna laid his forehead on your shoulder, you could feel his smile on his skin.

“What about our wedding?” he cooed, voice teasing, his hands wrapping around your waist, tips of his fingers sliding under your waistband.

“Rintarou, please- I-I don’t want to die. I’ll do anything just don’t hurt me” you begged. 

“I don’t like when you call me by my first name, it makes me feel like I’m in trouble” Suna commented, a soft pout on his lips. This time his hands are traveling further down the inside of your pants until his fingers are tracing over your covered slit. You wish you could fight his touch but you’re too scared to upset him.

“Rin, I don’t wanna pretend anymore. I just wanna go home” You’re starting to cry and he doesn’t need to look at your face to know that tears are pouring out of your eyes.

You act like you’re strong but the second you’re faced with a challenge, you crack like glass. So easy to read. Maybe that’s why he likes you so much.

“You wanna go home? Go ahead and ask the twins for help. But I don’t if they’ll be that compliant” Suna suggested. He’s right. He’s always right.

“I like you. I don’t think I’ve ever been so infatuated with a person like this before. So I’ll give you two choices. You could either go beg the twins to take you away from this ‘hell house’ or

you can become my pretty wife”

 You don't want any of that. You want to run far far away. But he’ll catch you like he did the first time and then he might actually kill you.

“So, what will it be, princess?” He repeats, forcing you to break from your silence. That nickname, it always appears when his true colors are shown. You're starting to hate that word because now you associate it with danger.

“How do I know you won’t kill me,” you ask, in the quietest voice, afraid of his answer. He chuckles at your question, raises his head from your shoulder, and smiles.

“Because I'll never get bored of you.”

That’s all it takes. You nod your head, not wanting to hear yourself agree to stay. To be his, forever.

He leans over, lips almost touching yours, narrow eyes with an unwearying stare forcing you to look at him. 

“You know how to keep quiet, don’t you Mrs. Suna?”

That’s when his wandering fingers finally slip beneath your panties and you’re reminded that Osamu and Atsumu are right behind the door in front of you. “Rin, not here” you begged, squirming to get out of his grip, only for him to hold you tighter.

“Why not? Atsumu would probably wanna hear, that fuckin’ freak” Suna laughed. Just as you were about to utter an argument, you’re cut short by the painfully slow pumping of Suna’s fingers, thrusting into your cunt. You feel weak.

Instead of telling him to stop, your words cut into a breathy moan and Suna is forced to lean over to your ear.

“ Careful, princess. You don’t want them to hear you.” He whispered a reminder, tongue poking out of his mouth to lick a stripe down your neck, causing you only to tighten around his long thrusting fingers. 

“ Try to argue with me but I can feel how wet you are. Maybe you’re the crazy one huh? Or maybe it’s both of us. Guess we're soulmates then” he’s talking more than he usually does. Maybe because he knows you're scared to get caught.

Or maybe he’s drunk on the success of your agreement to your engagement. Doesn’t matter because he’s only getting more confident, pulling down the neckline of your shirt as long as your bra with his other hand, groping the soft skin of your breast all while his thumb is massaging your clit.

Fuck- you’re so close and he’s so fucking hard, forced to grind his painful erection against your back.

You feel pathetic when you're uncontrollably humping his ruthless fingers, chasing your high. 

When you hear him chuckle from behind you, most likely realizing your movement- he has no right to sound so fucking sexy.

“Can’t believe you were begging me to stop, aren’t you just the prettiest liar.” He mumbles.

And you’re finishing on his fingers, legs shaking eyes tearing up, your hands covering your mouth muffling moans.

Suna slowly pulls his hands out of your pants, bringing his drenched fingers into your mouth, disgustedly making you clean his fingers, tasting yourself. 

He spins you towards him, leaning over to wipe off your smeared make up, fixing your appearance for you because you are all too stunned by what has just occurred.

Just on time, Atsumu and Osamu are opening the door, both surprised to see you.

“ Holy fuck- how long were you two standing there" Atsumu called out. You both turn around to look at them, Suna wrapping one arm around your shoulder, pulling you to his side.

“We just walked in actually” Suna lied for your sake.

“ Wow look at the time- “ Atsumu said, checking his watch, pretending to read the time.” It’s getting late, ain’t it? I’m a bit too tired to drive…guess me and Osamu gotta stay over the night” Atsumu whistled.

Holy fuck- Atsumu and Osamu still think they have a chance with you. 

You’re beginning to tremble at Suna’s side, fully not trusting him to protect you.

“I’ll call you two an uber,” Suna says blankly.

You could see Atsumu grit his teeth, not knowing why he wasn’t getting rewarded for  his ‘efforts.’

“Well- can we at least visit tomorrow” Osamu questioned, trying to hint if they’ll at least have a chance to fuck your dead corpse.

Sick mother fuckers. Just like Suna- maybe even worse.

“Next time we’ll see you is at our wedding” Suna smiled passively aggressively, knowing he just pissed off the twins.

Atsumu is about to open his mouth, most likely attending to spoil the truth because Suna ruined all of his ‘fun.’ But Osamu stops him by gripping the back of Atsumu’s shirt.

“ No need to argue with an old friend. We’ll leave… just call us next time when we’re allowed to come over” Osamu sighed.

Then they proceed to leave. Not without Atsumu forcing you into a hug, his hand dangerous on your lower back, a final act of pervasion. They leave and you’re left alone with Suna and his narrow eyes are locked on yours. 

“Could fuck you here or on the bed. Pick one”

There is no option to deny him. He is going to be your husband after all.

“Bed.”

He’s not even letting you walk there, probably thinking you’ll move too slowly for his liking. So he's picking you up effortlessly because of his muscular arms, delivering you to the bedroom before and tossing you onto the mattress. He’s on top of you in a heartbeat, his hands tugging off your clothes, not caring if you’re telling him to slow down because they’ll rip.

He’ll buy you a new one- fuck he’ll buy you anything you’d want as long as he gets to fuck that tight pussy of yours.

Your heart is slipping at the sound of his belt unbuckling, too nervous to look at the sight of him sliding down any of the clothes covering his hard cock.

“Fuckin’ you raw, yeah? Doesn’t matter anymore since we’ll be married soon” Suna clicks his tongue, holding his heavy cock in his hands, pressing his leaking tip against your hole.

You shake your head frantically, “Don’t please Rin- don’t do that to me” you shuttered.

“ What? Ya afraid you’ll conceive the devil’s reincarnation? For what it’s worth princess, if the devil is real. 

It’s me.”

Without another argument he’s forcing himself into your shameless cunt causing a gasp to slip out of your mouth, not waiting for you to adjust until he’s fucking you into the bed. You’re holding onto everything but him. And he doesn’t like this- it’s not wife behavior is it?

So he leans over and painfully bites into your collarbone, “ hurt me back.” He commands.

And you give him exactly what he wants, slipping your hands under his shirt, digging your nails into his toned back, causing him to only get fuck you harder like it a competition on who can break the quickest.

You’re not holding back your moans- thankful for the lack of people near you, only giving Suna the privilege of hearing them.

Once you orgasm for the second time that night, he’s switching positions and forcing you to take him on his lap, his back resting on the bed frame.

You know what he wants you to do but you’re already so tired, you drowsily shake your head, hoping he’ll stop, and let finally you sleep.

Except all you do is annoy him, hissing under his breath as his hands grip your hips, forcing you to bounce on his cock, overstimulating your insides.

“ Slow down, Rin-“ you asked, knowing he won’t let you stop but at least the idea of slowing down seems possible.

“You wanna go slow, princess? Then you gotta do it yourself” he commented. You hesitate before nodding your head, thinking it’s a better option than letting him fuck you relentlessly.

His hands go behind his head while yours leans over on his thigh, slowly pushing yourself up, sucking in your breath and you sink back down.

Suna whistled at the sight of you fucking yourself on his cock, acting like the perfect wife. 

He’s moving the hair out of your face before wrapping his hands around your neck, freaking you out as he lightly squeezes the sides of your neck. The action is causing you to stop your movement.

“Did I tell you to stop?” He asked, tightening the grip around your neck, making it harder to breathe, a growing light-headed.

Your hands are shaking as you’re lifting yourself up and down on his cock. It’s humiliating, knowing you’re getting off because of him- how easily he has control of your body

“Say you’ll stay” he pants, chest heaving, feeling your cunt squeezing on his cock because of his husky voice.

“ Say you’ll stay forever. Can’t ever leave my side, princess. Dont think I can live without this pussy” he asks, face flushed.

“ I’ll stay—Rin” you managed to croak out with the tightness around your neck.

That’s all he needs until he’s leaning over to your torso, hands moving to grip your waist,  forcing you to stay still on his cock, cumming deep into your pussy.

You think that’ll be it for tonight until he’s pulling back and kissing you, tongue slipping into your mouth, hands moving to grope your breast again until he’s hard once more.

He’s manhandling you until you’re on your hands and knees. He's behind you, watching your legs shake as he guides his cock back into your stuffed pussy, fucking his leaking cum back into you.

You’re screaming from overstimulation, tears soaking the bed sheet under your eyes, hands gripping onto the bed sheet. You feel like you’re being crushed when he presses his chest against your back, his arms wrapped around your lower stomach, cock bullying your insides.

He’s never this energetic.

And you’re also never this honest, finally admitting to knowing the truth behind this charade. But you tell him you’ll stay isn’t something he believes in.

“ Bet you’re thinking about leavin’ when I’m asleep, yeah?” He huffed against the nape of your neck.

“You’d probably find a way to kill me first though. You’re not dumb enough to think I won’t find you” he uttered, talking to you as if he’s not fucking you into oblivion.

“ Doesn’t matter if m’dead or not. I’ll always be with you- every second til the day you fuckin' die, you'll be thinking about me. dreaming about me. haunted by me. So don’t you dare test me. Just be good and I’ll be good back. I fuck you good as well” he adds, his finger rubbing your swollen clit while his hips are forcing you to the edge, squeezing his cock so hard he can’t pull out to cum- not like he was going to do in the first place.

Suna lifts himself and rolls you to the side, admiring your fucked out expression, how you’re staring at the ceiling, chest heaving as you recover from your intense orgasm.

“ Maybe if fuck a baby into you. You wouldn't be able to leave,”Suna commented, the lack of playfulness in his tone suggested to you that he was actually serious about the idea of knocking you up.

“ I'm not - I not planning on leaving— I won’t do it, Rin. I’m telling the truth” you babbled, crying at the idea of going another round, hands frantically wiping down tears that felt never-ending.

Suna chuckles because for once, he believes you. He leans over and kisses your cheek sweetly.

“I’ll be nice and give you a morning-after pill I got laying around somewhere afterward, yeah? I’ll take care of you, but you gotta take care of me,” he cooed.

You are too cute. So much more innocent than Suna is- never committing the horrendous crimes he’s done. And he thinks you begging him to spare you from sex is so much more exciting than you begging him for your life.

But to you- it feels like you’re begging for the same thing. You’ll die if he fucks you again- that your body is too overstimulated and exhausted.

That doesn’t stop him- nothing will really, from getting hard, thrusting into you again. You don’t know when he stopped fucking you- was it after you passed out the third time? Or did he continue ever after that? When it’s over, you’re half awake, back leaning on his chest, his hand ushering you to take the suggested birth control in his hand. Then slowly tilt the glass of water down your mouth. While you manage to drink the refreshing liquid, you get a glance of the mess between your spread legs, cum shameless dripping out and you wish you never met him.

You’re awake and you don’t feel physically dirty, the evidence of cum wiped off your legs by Suna while you were sleeping. 

If he hadn’t marked your body with his teeth and hands, you’d almost pretend last night was nonexistent. Plus the aroma coming from him cooking from the kitchen downstairs only ruins the fantasy even more.

Maybe you’ll run away one day and get away with it. But you can’t say you could ever truly escape, Suna.

Because that would just make you a liar.

taglist @fynn1issshh @kodsuken

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

I started to write this at 3am sooo..👀

It's quite long

I imagine Tamlin as a boss of big company in expensive tailored suit

Since childhood, he wasn't meant to become boss, it wasn't something he longed for anyway. He studied music and after few years joined army to get away from his father and brothers

However when his whole family died in car incident, the board forced him to take over the family business

Despite not knowing much about company management, he is quick learner. Soon after taking over he's started to implement his own ideas

Working conditions have improved, not even a single employee would say anything bad about the new young boss

He is not only respected but also loved, especially by female staff (seriously, who wouldn't love such tall handsome man with style, so broad chest and long golden hair - the remnants of his musician era?)

Even though frowning, he makes sure to greet every person in company he meets

You, as a staff at front desk at the entrance, meet him quite often and he greets you every time he passes by

It's your first job and you are new. It's amazing to work for such person

Not even two months after you've started to work there, you are called to personnel department

Fearing the worst, you are shocked to learn that you were chosen to do a personal assistant of the young boss

First day in your new position, Tamlin comes to the office and as soon as he sees you, he greets you with small soft smile. It's even more surprising he already knows your name. Despite his reserved appearance, he is kind and welcoming

You do your best to meet the expectations by answering calls, managing his schedule and bringing him tea during the day, or coffee if he asks you for it

You are surprised that he seriously reads every document before signing it, even taking a side notes about details

During the lunch break he asks you to come to his office to eat together because when one eats with other person, the meal tastes better

Unlike other men in high positions, his jacket and tie are hanged on hanger, his shirt is slightly unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up, showing off his strong forearms

During the meal he talks with you casually. You are so nervous at first that you can't even put together a simple sentence, stuttering like idiot, but he doesn't seem to mind. Eventually you relax

The next morning, you are leaving from your apartment building when an expensive black car stops in front of you and golden head peeks out from the window

Tamlin gets off as soon as he sees you and greets you with the same smile as other day

"I happened to be nearby, so I thought I would stop by and drive you to work."

You are hesitant. He's your boss, for heaven's sake, but he doesn't want to even hear about you going by metro as usual

He holds door for you, you sit in and he follows

Car moves and you get nervous again when you notice that it's going in wrong direction

You gather courage and ask Tamlin about that. He looks up from his phone

"We still have about an hour or so, so I thought we could stop for a breakfast. Don't worry! It's on me."

Next, car stops at parking of one of the most cosy looking cafes in the city, unfortunately, the one out of your price range

Tamlin again holds doors open for you and waitress takes you to the table. Tamlin immediately orders drinks for both of you

Another shock - even without asking he knows that you like latte with extra milk

While you wait for drinks, you look at breakfast menu. The prices are so high that you feel dizzy

He puts down the menu and studies you for a while. At last he asks what you'd like to eat

You choose the cheapest meal, he calls for waitress and without word he points the choice on menu

You instantly know that he ordered something completely else and you give him a confused look to which he only chuckles

"You didn't seriously think I would believe that you want to eat sausages, right? You said you hate them. I hope you have a sweet tooth though," he winks playfully

You search your memory - you really mentioned it the other day during lunch break, but why would he remember such mundane details?

Tamlin ordered for you pancakes with strawberries, your most favourite. This must be seventh heaven

After eating, he leaves you for a moment and goes to pay, then he gently grabs your elbow. His long fingers of musician slide down your arm and entwine with yours, leading you back to the car

His actions are confusing, yet it's pleasant and you like it

During the ride, he is looking out of the window on his side, but tips of his fingers find your hand and gently touch it

Suddenly he asks driver to stop, gets off and disappears in crowd. When he returns, he almost shyly offers you a single red rose

You bashfully accept it. He's full of surprises

None of you speak for the rest of the way, but his fingers again rest on your hand with feather light touch

It's a busy day, yet Tamlin makes time and again asks you to eat lunch with him. Later he asks you to stay overtime which he will naturally pay you for. He has a meeting after the working hours and needs someone to take care of documents and refreshment

You naturally accept. After being treated with such high class, delicious breakfast there's no way you would say no to him, especially after he asked you so politely

Meeting is quite long and when it's finally over, it's already dark outside

Tamlin is just sitting there, frowning and lost in thoughts while you clean the table around him

When you are done, you ask him if he needs anything else. His gaze shots up to you as if he has completely forgotten you are still there, then he looks around the clean meeting room and smiles at you

"No, that's all for today. Thank you very much."

His emerald eyes follow your movements while you gather your stuff, readying to head home

At that moment he seems to be sad and very lonely, longing for (only) your company

"I'd like to repay you for your great help today. If you don't mind, I'd like to take you to dinner," he says suddenly

You notice the slight shift in his mood

Even though it's only suggestion, he doesn't accept no as an answer

A/N: I'm thinking of rewriting this into a story, maybe even a shorter series 🤔

Welcome to our Tamlin Community game: Headcanons!

Every headcanons post, we'll drop a prompt asking you for your take on the prompt and our beloved Tamlin.

Fun fact: Did you know headcanons posts count as submissions during Tamlin Week? Headcanons are a great way to participate if you don't have time to create more time consuming submission and we love, love, love hearing all the different ways Tamlin is perceived!🤩

This is a space to share your adoration and your creativity, so don't be shy -- reblog or chat with fellow Tamlin enjoyers in the notes!

What are your MODERN AU Tamlin headcanons?

[little-mouse-adventures]

@orangerosebush's post here, with my comment and @fowlblue's tags today got me thinking.

Artemis Senior has been teaching his son matters of business from a young age. Not only was Artemis, at 11 years old, discussing stocks with his father, but Fowl Senior had been imparting his wisdom onto his son for years by that point, discussing the ever-increasing value of gold with him before tucking him into bed. Even outside of pure monetary value, Sr. had tried to go legitimate with his business dealings, leading Artemis to have a few legal ventures of his own.

We also see very early on in the books that Artemis has been regularly using Butler as a resource for his plots: bouncing ideas off him was apparently a fairly common tactic when he was scheming.

Both Artemis Senior and Butler are interested in (or at least, not opposed to) educating Artemis on the ways of their lifestyle(s). It would be Artemis Senior who would have taught his son the value of banks and safety deposit boxes and hidden safes but it was Butler who was actively working with Artemis to rob those safety deposit boxes.

In the same vein of breaking-and-entering, TLC also gives us the fun little moment where Butler hands Artemis his own lockpicks, to get into the workings of the bomb.

With one line we learn that Artemis knows how to pick locks, but does not have his own set of lockpicks. Butler, on the other hand, has both the tools and knowledge how to use them. Partnered with a brief mention in TTP of some the specific trades of those previously employed by Artemis Senior (including such things as crime lords, insider traders, and cat burglars), we can extrapolate that Artemis Senior would generally hire someone to pick a lock for him, rather than do so himself.

It's pretty logical to conclude then that Artemis learned big-picture management from his father, and day-to-day skillsets from his bodyguard.

Essentially, Artemis Senior taught Artemis how to run a criminal empire. Butler taught Artemis how to be a criminal.

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

today just will not let me rest huh. reasons are in the tags but i get very emotional just be warned

[crossbackpoke-check]

re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on

https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share

(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.

(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)

anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂

- @bondedpairs

ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!