#if you think emilie is a good person we’re gonna have an argument

[iindigoeyed]

Do you ever think about how Amelie didn’t want kids and was forced into having one by her husband, yet raised Félix lovingly despite colts abuse, supports him and his goals and ambitions, cares about his safety, has a positive presence in his life to the point where he trusts her with everything, meanwhile emilie and gabriel both ‘wanted a child’ yet they couldn’t handle having one, couldn’t deal with child that disagreed with them or that had feelings or goals, couldn’t take care of him, didn’t care about what he wanted and forced him into doing what they wanted essentially breaking him down to an object of their own selfish desires because they wanted a pet, a puppet to control, and not a real living being, despite their insistence that they wanted a child because they see children as obedient subservient beings and not people. Or just me

[culpeppercheckers721]

Ok but in all seriousness, if we are gonna discuss Peggy OUTSIDE of just the hot bracket. 😂 I know we’re all like “I support women’s wrongs!” and I do love strong female characters myself, even when I know they’re villains! However Peggy may be the exception to that rule, because as much as it seems to go weirdly unacknowledged at times, I’d like to just say that Peggy is just. Objectively. Not that great of a person. 🤡

If I can just explain my viewpoint, I recognize that going into the show, I was always biased because I had already done some light research on her and the Arnold treason plot and knew about her historically, so I already absolutely detested Peggy Shippen before seeing Turn’s characterization of her, where yes she does get something of a sympathetic portrayal as many loyalists and redcoats do on this show (which is generally good because history is complicated, and it’s not all black and white, so I’m not saying that was a bad choice or anything!!), but I still don’t think it sugarcoated her enough for Peggy to be seen as a morally great character. 😅

Regarding how she totally manipulated Arnold into joining the British and basically ruining his own life, I want to preface this with YES I also hate Arnold and would punch him if I could, and YES I think Arnold was perfectly capable of ruining his own life by himself, but that being said… it is still pretty painful to watch, and if not for Arnold’s sake, than for the sake of everyone else who was negatively impacted by his treason. 💀 Honestly, there are some similarities I find between how dangerous Mary can be and how dangerous Peggy can be, only I think the key difference is that Mary uses it for “good” and Peggy uses it for “evil,” if you will. 😂 I don’t think Mary is some flawless goddess, and I get the argument that everything Peggy did was for Andre and how devoted she was to him… but I don’t think it’s a reach for me to say that with the exception of Andre, she may or may not sacrifice others’ happiness for her own. And have we forgotten the candlestick scene??? When she was threatening Cicero, talking to him about her family’s servants getting rewarded vs. getting horsewhipped and asking him which one he would prefer??? (Honestly, even if she did end up on their side since she wanted to help with the kidnapping, I think Abigail should have got to knock Peggy out with the candlestick just for fun, who knows if she’d even remember it after anyways 💀) Like some of Peggy’s insensitive words likely just happen since she’s a product of her time, and since she grew up as privileged and rich as she did (let’s not forget Andre himself noting how her family views themselves as above essentially everyone, even the king’s authority which you’d think would matter to loyalist-leaning parties at the time), but that scene rather rubs me the wrong way. 😬 And remember that time when her and Philomena were essentially fighting over Andre even after he was already DEAD LMAO, and just because Philomena was rude to her once she got her sent to fucking PRISON??? LIKE HELLO POOR PHILOMENA. 💀

As traumatizing as I’m sure it was for her to see Andre die, and as much as I genuinely pity her then, I don’t think that’s an excuse for THAT course of action. And further still, there’s nothing that makes her actions prior to his death quite ok either. I could go on and on about this all day y’all but I think you get the point lol Peggy Shippen is simply… someone I would never want to be around. 😀 Like, it genuinely scares me sometimes when I remember that, of course, there are manipulative people like her still out there now. 😀 Not exactly fun to consider.

There’s a great video touching on this general topic from Not Even Emily who is far funnier than me, but to repeat her point, “women [and therefore female characters] can be bad people, too, and that’s true equality, babe!” 😂 So if you simply like Peggy as something of a morally grey or even morally bad character then I won’t try to talk you out of that of course, and even if you do for whatever reason defend her, you’re still entitled to your opinion! I know for a fact I can’t talk everyone out of liking her and nor would I try since that’s just as controlling as she is lol, but I still have just wanted to get this out of my system for a while since I find it to be sort of odd that this topic isn’t discussed more lmao.

Thank you so much if you actually read this besties, it is appreciated 💕

[cjbolan]

 Just finished Chapter 1 of Emily Windsnap and the Tides of Time. My thoughts so far...

I feel you, Emily. I’m sad too that your adventures are probably over.

Liz Kessler throws MAJOR shade at teachers XD. Perhaps she’s writing from personal experience. I literally laughed at some of the descriptions of Emily’s teacher. Particularly this line:

“’Succinctly as always, Aiden,’ Mrs. Porter said, in that special sarcastic way that teachers must learn at college, as they all do it.”

As a former student teacher, I can confirm she’s absolutely right.

This opening is like a clever inverse version of the first book’s opening. Both open with Emily at home in Brightport having a conversation with her mom, before going to school.Except where the first book opened with them having an argument, this last book opens with them being much friendlier with each other. Shows how far their relationship has come. I love that!

There’s also shades of Book 3 that I liked. It again opens with Emily going to school, and Emily afraid of a relationship ending. In Book 3 it was her parents’ marriage, here it’s her renewed friendship with Mandy. I do like the idea that for once, maybe it’s Emily’s own fault that she feels alone, for not being a good listener to her friend. 

I love the emphasis that being yourself is much easier said than done. IRL people say all the time that they don’t care what people think or that they’ll do whatever they want, then quickly give up doing exactly that. This isn’t always a bad thing, and heavily dependent on your situation. It makes perfect sense in Emily’s case where she now has 0 friends in school and possible enemies.  (SIDE NOTE: I do relate hard to Emily in this case. At her age, for a time I had only 1 real friend. We’re still friends now ^_^. )

YAAAAAY MORE RETCONNING *sarcasm*. Seems like Emily is attending only human school. What happened to her splitting her time between human and mermaid school? Wasn’t her school situation a huge looming conflict for about half the series? It was a huge point of conflict for her parents who fought each other about where she should spend more time, to the point it made Emily fear they would split up. If she were still attending Shiprock School, she probably  wouldn’t miss the sea and Shona so much because she could still enjoy those every day. I know Emily's feeling lonely because of Aaron and Mandy, but still...either Emily’s being overdramatic, or she really did quit mermaid school for some reason.

Jake again raises so many questions. We know he eats human food, so can all merpeople eat human food? Or is Jake the only one because he’s lived with humans and got used to it? What do you think his first time tasting human food would’ve been like? That breakfast table is way above water level so... does her ever eat with his family?  It’d be really sad if he couldn’t. Does he have a floating pool table? Does he eat off the floor? Would his family ever eat off the floor with him? Is there any way he could have a wheelchair or kiddie pool for him at the table?  For a mixed human-merperson family who actively brought together the two species, how on earth would they host both species in a place designed by and for humans only? Trap door aside, the merpeople who do visit are just trapped in that tiny bit of water, and the humans make 0 attempt to bring their activities closer to the water for merpeople to join them. And Jake is often described looking upward at people in that boat...he must have the worst neck pain ever. He deserves a nice neck pillow. Or maybe a neck massage XD.

But seriously, this is one reason Jake is one of my favorite characters. He  raises so many fascinating questions about the worldbuilding.

Funny I have a rock that looks just like Emily’s! Minus 2 stripes...

Well, gonna keep on reading!

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By Your Doorstep (Part 4)

Summary: The reader and Dean celebrate Tessa’s birthday with a big surprise before making a drastic change to their relationship...

Pairing: Doctor/Neighbor!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 4,100ish

Warnings: language, angst, mentioned past sexual assault (not graphic)

A/N: Parts of this series are told from two different POV’s. Dean’s POV are written from limited third person. Reader’s POV are second person (like a typical reader insert). Enjoy!…

_________

Dean’s POV

Two Weeks Later

“Oh fuck yeah!” said Dean, jumping up and down in the driveway as he read over the letter in his hands. 

“Dr. Dean that’s a bad word,” said Emily, the five year old three houses down. Dean slapped a hand over his face as she rode past on her bike, her father laughing to himself.

“Hope it’s good news, Dean,” said Chris.

“Very. Sorry about that,” said Dean, Chris waving him off as Dean jogged back inside. He read over the letter again and looked through the packet. “Alright. As long as you keep a B average or above you’re golden kiddo. You get straight A’s anyways so that shouldn’t be a problem.”

Dean smiled and gathered up all of the documents, getting them together with Tessa’s birthday present. Y/N had tried to tell him that giving away his old iPhone was too much but all it did was sit in a drawer now when it worked perfectly fine. He was pretty sure she wasn’t going to be thinking about the phone at all once she found out about the grant.

He looked back at the bag on the table and frowned. Maybe she’d take it the wrong way, like he was trying to save her sister or their family or something like that. He could have given them the application and had them fill it out. They would have probably gotten it still. Dean knew his letter he’d included didn’t hurt but he didn’t want to be that guy. He was already a doctor, already helped Y/N with a job, already paid for dates and things. It was no issue for him at all and he knew she didn’t care about the money but he didn’t want to rub it in her face that he could help more than she could.

Dean grabbed his phone and called Cas, Sam stuck in some network client thing all night he’d told him. It rang a few times before it picked up, the echo in the background telling him he was on speaker.

“Deano!” said Benny. “Gonna make it over tonight after all?”

“Hey guys,” said Dean, sitting down on his couch. “You got the crew together?”

“Nah, just us and the girls. They’re still out shopping. What’s up?” asked Cas.

“You know Y/N?” asked Dean.

“The girl you’re clearly in love with? Yes we know her,” laughed Benny. Dean was quiet and heard them shift on the other end.

“Everything okay?” asked Cas.

“I think I fucked it up. I think I’m going too far too fast.”

“What do you mean?” asked Benny.

“Tessa, her little sister, she’s in high school and I applied for a grant on her behalf for her college and she got it,” said Dean.

“That’s a problem how?” asked Cas.

“I don’t want it to come off as me trying to save them or anything. I’m nervous she’s gonna get mad at me,” said Dean. His friends were quiet and knew a teasing comment wouldn’t come. “Guys.”

“Tell her you applied on a long shot and a grant is what helped you with school. You’re not saving the day, just sharing a benefit you got,” said Benny. “Shit I wish I’d had someone do that for me.”

“What’s going on Dean? You’re normally the last person to freak over shit,” said Cas. Dean sat back and stared up at the ceiling. 

“Talk to us bud,” said Benny.

“I like this girl and it’s been years and years since I had a girlfriend. You guys know I’m not good for more than a fuck,” said Dean.

“Lisa was a super bitch and you know that’s not true,” said Benny.

“I am in my thirties and I’ve never had a real relationship. I don’t even know how. I’m gonna fuck this up so bad. I know it.”

“Contrary to how often I call you a dick, you are one of the best people I’ve ever met,” said Cas.

“I agree and you know all our friends and especially Sammy would say the same thing. Brother you gotta relax. This girl from what you’ve said and everybody else says, well we ain’t never seen you so happy so stop freaking, go get ready for your date tonight and put some faith in this girl that she’s not gonna hurt you back,” said Benny.

“I didn’t say-”

“Dean, we’ve known you forever. We know when you’re scared. I know most people in your life end up hurting you but take it from us, not everyone will. I got a good vibe from her,” said Cas. 

“Me too,” said Dean quietly.

“You doing okay?” asked Benny. “In general you know.”

“Yeah. Most of the time I’m great now. The past few weeks have been awesome. I think maybe that’s why I keep freaking out over this girl. It’s like, fucking finally, I understand what a good relationship can be.”

“You been to Ketch lately?” asked Cas.

“No, not as a patient. I’m okay.”

“Well still go for a tag up every once in a while for us,” said Benny.

“I know. Never would have gone without you assholes getting on my back in the first place.”

“That’s what friends are for,” said Cas, Benny chuckling. “So where you guys going tonight?”

“Monico’s.”

“Fancy,” they both said and Dean rolled his eyes, smiling to himself.

“Goodbye assholes,” said Dean, hearing them laugh before he hung up. He sat up and took a deep breath. “Alright. Shower. Shave and fingers crossed tonight goes well.”

Reader’s POV

“Okay, presents before or after dinner?” you asked as you carried in a bag to Tessa’s room. 

“Before, obviously,” she said. 

“Alright, well I know you wanted something really badly this year,” you said. “Why don’t you open the green one first?”

“This feels like an iPhone box…” she said with a big smile. She tore off the paper and grinned. “Awesome! What one is it?”

“It’s a ten. It’s used but in really good condition. I got you a case and extra charger too,” you said. “We can swing to the store and activate it tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Y/N, really,” she said. She grabbed the card next and her eyes went wide when she saw the cash inside. “Y/N.”

“It’s your money you gave me. It’s yours. Buy whatever you want, okay?” you said. She nodded and unwrapped a few more small things, a book she’d been talking about, some make up you knew she’d use, a new pair of her nike running shorts that’d been on sale thankfully. You smirked when she picked up the last two presents in the bag. “Alright. I hope these are...suitable for you.”

She tore off the wrapping on one and started to laugh.

“It’s hot pink,” she giggled. “Why is it hot pink?”

“Cause vibrators come in a variety of colors,” you said with a laugh. “I will let you read through the charging instructions on your own and same for the other box. There is toy cleaner because yes you need to wash these things properly and I got some water based lube. Go with water based. It dries up faster but it works better to me. Oh and wash everything like five times before it goes anywhere near anything, okay?”

“Okay,” she laughed. “I can’t believe you actually bought me this stuff.”

“Can’t get pregnant off a toy,” you said.

“Definitely can’t do that,” said Dean, Tessa wide eyed as he popped his head into the doorway. She shoved the boxes back into the bag and he laughed. “I’m a doctor. Sex doesn’t bother me and I think your sister has a point.”

“Oh my God, I forgot he was here,” she said, running her hands over her face.

“I was wondering where you two ran off to,” he said. He stepped inside and pulled out a box from behind his back. “Happy birthday, Tessa.”

“Thanks,” she blushed. She undid the bow and paper, smiling as she opened the box. There was an envelope inside but she picked up the headphones and shook her head. “Dean I can’t accept this. It’s too much. I already know the iPhone must have been yours.”

“You are smarter than you look,” he said. “But I can’t accept your refusal of my present. I have new ones and those never get used and I’m bigger than you so you’re gonna lose this argument one way or the other.”

“I’d listen to him, Tessa. He gets his way when he wants it,” you said. She rolled her eyes but smiled.

“Thank you. People haven’t been nice to us the past couple years,” she said. You glanced down to the floor, Dean leaving his arm wrapped around your waist. 

“People weren’t all that nice to me either for a long time,” he said with a nod. “Someday when you’re able, you help somebody else out, understand?”

“Yeah,” she said with a nod.

“Open the envelope. This one’s a present to you both,” he said. You cocked your head as she tore it open, reading for a long time before she pulled out a paper and handed it to you.

“Dean,” you said, sitting down on her bed after you’d read it a few times. “Dean this…”

“It’s a grant. It’s very similar to a scholarship. I’m an alumni of Elmdale and the medical school there. Tessa you qualify and so I applied on your behalf a few weeks ago and you were accepted. The grant will cover half of four years of tuition,” he said.

“What does that mean?” asked Tessa.

“It means we will have to pay very little with financial aid,” you said. She was beaming and you shook your head. “You applied weeks ago?”

“After I met you two. This house seemed familiar to me for some reason until I remembered. Y/N I told you someone helped me when I was eighteen?”

“Yeah?”

“I think his picture is hanging in the hall,” he said.

“Our dad?” asked Tessa.

“He got me a job and helped me pay for part of my school. I came here once when I needed his help. Your father was a very good man and it’s clear his daughters are the same. Neither one of you deserves to go through all the pain I did. I don’t want you to. It was no trouble at all to do, I swear.”

“Tessa, I work at Dean’s office as a lab tech,” you said. She turned her head and you saw Dean nod. “I lost my job before. We were scraping by. Barely. We’re okay now but without this grant...it would have wiped out our inheritance. That was for weddings and down payments for houses. We can keep it now...we can keep the house now.”

“You hate this house though,” she said. “I hate this house.”

“Tessa-”

“We can downsize,” she said. “Y/N, every night you stare down at their bedroom door. It’s like we live with ghosts or something. It doesn’t have to be so tight. Do we really need a five bedroom house?”

“It’s not as tight anymore. We’ll talk about it. Let’s go celebrate all the good news,” you said. “I’ve been dying for a Monico’s steak.”

“She seemed pretty happy tonight,” said Dean as you sat on the front porch a few hours later. You hummed and rocked in your seat beside him, resting your head on his shoulder. “Did I overstep?”

“No. You were the boy in the mailroom, weren’t you. Dad used to talk about you sometimes. Mostly when I didn’t want to do something. He told me some people my age have it so much harder.”

“True. But you can’t compare one person’s struggles to another’s. It’s not fair to either one.”

“Would you sell this house if you were me?” you asked.

“I like that you live close by. I’d miss that. But it’s a lotta house for the two of you and it sounds like a change might be a good thing. You could downsize to somewhere else in the neighborhood and probably bank a good chunk of money for later on.”

“We could.” Dean was quiet, gears turning in his head. “What are you thinking of?”

“My house is a five bedroom too.”

“Yours is also newer,” you said. “And bigger.”

“Tell me if I’m crossing a line but...you guys...could stay there if you decided to sell this place. Temporarily. Or not temporarily,” he said. You stared up at him and he looked away. “Like I said, I’m sorry, I know it’s...I should go.”

“Hey. I’m not afraid of you.” His head turned back towards you and he swallowed thickly. “Tell me another secret and I’ll you one.”

“I think I I’m falling in love with you and I’m afraid I’m going too fast and that you think I’m creepy or weird deep down and I’m up to something when all I really see is me and my brother in you and your sisters places and I know how much it sucks and how much it hurts and I know you protect her from stuff she doesn’t even know about. I’m sorry for saying that about the house just now. I’d still like to see you though if that’s okay.”

“I think this is fast too but I also think that part of me fell for you the day you carried her home. You don’t want anything from us. Just to help and it’s not because you pity us or anything like that. If I’ve learned anything yet in life it’s that you don’t know when it’s gonna stop and there’s no use in wasting time.”

“What are you saying?”

“You willing to put up with a teenager, a service dog and someone who has not had a moment to themselves in two years?”

“As long as you don’t snore,” he smiled. You laughed and kissed his cheek. “Are you serious?”

“I don’t like this house anymore. If she doesn’t want it, I don’t want it. Maybe we can do some test runs, stay over for a weekend or two, see if we want to make it a not temporary thing.”

“That sounds great,” he smiled. “We’ll figure it out, sweetheart.”

Two Months Later

“I’m home,” you said on the way back from the store. You’d been staying at Dean’s for two weeks now after a nice couple closed on your old house. So far it’d been great and you were perfectly happy to stay there with him and Tessa for the foreseeable future. “I picked up some-”

“He is not my dad. I am eighteen,” said Tessa as she stormed over to the foyer. You glanced back to where Dean was over in the kitchen and sighed. “I want to go to Paulie’s tonight.”

“Who is Paulie?” you asked as you kicked off your boots.

“A friend,” she said.

“You’ve literally never mentioned him before,” you said, carrying some groceries through the family room and to the kitchen.

“That’s what I said,” said Dean as he peeled a potato at the island.

“I thought I said you’re not my dad so you can shut the fuck up.”

“Hey!” you shouted, Tessa freezing up. “Apologize to Dean.”

“He-”

“We are stable for the first time ever because of him. I trust Dean to make decisions for you when I’m not home. If he said no, then the answer is no. Go to your room,” you said. She grumbled and pounded her feet upstairs. You washed up and gripped the countertop. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe she said that to you.”

“It’s okay. I’ll be the bad guy,” he said as he picked up another potato. “Paulie what’s his face doesn’t sound like he wants anything other than in her pants so she can swear all she likes at me.”

“What’d she say exactly?”

“She wants to go over to Paulie’s tonight to hang out with some friends but I overheard her and Hailey talking earlier this week about a party and I don’t need a medical degree to put it together.”

“If she sneaks out I’ll kill her,” you said. You glanced down to Toast’s dog bowl and paused. “Dean what would happen if she drank on her medication.”

“She can’t drink alcohol on that stuff,” he said. 

“What would happen if she did.”

“She could have a seizure,” he said. 

“Tessa!” you shouted. You jogged upstairs and found her bedroom empty. “Tessa!”

The house was quiet and you put your hands on your head. 

“Toast!” you shouted, the dog trotting out from Dean’s bedroom. You immediately ran inside, Dean already upstairs and you saw her sitting out on the balcony in a chair, her face in her knees. 

“Can I…” said Dean and you nodded. You followed him outside, Dean walking over and squatting by her seat. “Tessa, what are you doing out here?”

“I wish I was normal, didn’t have a fucked up head.”

“I got one too,” he said.

“Do you have to take medicine for seizures? No?” she said.

“No but my dad used to beat me up,” he said. She turned and he nodded. “He would try to beat up my little brother too sometimes but I would take the hits when I could. Tessa, you can’t drink when you’re on your medicine. You just can’t.”

“I know that,” she said.

“You can’t sneak out and leave Toast behind either. It’s not safe.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

“Y/N and I get scared too is all.”

“You just pretend to like me cause you fuck my sister.”

“For the record, I don’t fuck your sister. Relationships are complicated. You might not realize this but I care about you for you. If I didn’t I would not want you in my house, in our house, and I wouldn’t get scared about you going to parties with guys that just want to use you for sex. I give a shit about you Tessa whether you believe me or not.”

“You don’t care,” she scoffed. “You feel sorry for us. Nobody on earth would ask two strangers to move in unless you-”

“Tessa you can think whatever you want about me. I’m not your father and I’ll never try to be him. But I sure as shit know how to be an older brother. So be pissed off and be rude and whatever else you want to. I’ve done this before with my own brother. You don’t scare me. The only thing that does is you getting taken advantage of or you getting hurt and Toast isn’t there to help. Someday you’ll get it through that thick skull of yours what the truth is but until then, I’ll be the asshole who doesn’t let you go to parties you’ll get hurt at.”

“You pity us.”

“I’m jealous of you.” She stared at him and you swallowed in the doorway. “Your parents loved you. Mine didn’t. You want to talk about being fucked up? I’m here anytime.”

She nodded and he sat up on the bench with her. You went inside and finished preparing the potatoes, mashing them up and saving them for later. It was nearly ten by the time you heard the stairs creak and Dean walked down them.

“Y/N,” said Tessa. You got up from the couch and walked to the bottom of the stairs, Tessa glancing down. “I’m sorry for how I’ve acted today and treated Dean lately. I was…”

“It’s okay,” he said quietly as he rubbed her back.

“I was scared when we moved in here a few weeks ago. I don’t want to lose you too and Dean takes up time that it used to be just us and I know the accident wasn’t my fault but I feel guilty still sometimes and I know your life is different because of it too and I want you guys to be happy, I do. I just get scared you’ll forget about me. I don’t wanna be alone. I’m not ready.”

“You don’t ever have to be alone, Tessa,” you said. She nodded and looked up at Dean.

“I know. I was silly. But I’m better now,” she said. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” you said.

“I know,” she said. 

“Why don’t you head to bed, Tess. Tomorrow I can come to your session with you like we talked about,” said Dean. She nodded and walked upstairs, Toast trotting into her room. You walked upstairs and into your bedroom with Dean, shutting the door after yourselves. “I should have...change is difficult on kids with PTSD. I should have realized that’s why she’s been so snippy. I thought it was just hormones.”

“Probably both,” you said, climbing onto the bed. He lay down next to you, staring up at the ceiling. “You care for her.”

“You two are a package deal, sweetheart,” he said with a light chuckle. “Can’t love one without loving the other.”

“Like you and Sam,” you smiled. “I can’t wait to meet him in person.”

“Me too.”

“Is Tessa okay? You guys talked a really long time.”

“She was afraid I would replace her, push her out. Granted I do like spending alone time with you and everything but she needs you and I’m not here to take you away from her. I think she understands that now.”

“Dean why haven’t we had sex?” you asked. He sat up and you shrugged. “We’ve dated nearly three months and you don’t even try to cop a feel. For how fast certain things are between us, that one feels a little slow. I just want to understand. I don’t...I’m not saying it’s a problem I just want to know.”

“You asked me on our first date, or you made a comment, that I don’t seem like the shy around women type.”

“Yeah?”

“I didn’t use to be. A smidge, especially if they were the one that seemed to be controlling the situation but it was always good. I had some girlfriends, had some hookups. More than my fair share of hookups. The girlfriends…”

“The bitch one?” you said, getting a chuckle out of him.

“I stopped thinking I was relationship material for a while. So I did hookups for a long time and that was good. Until about two years ago. I haven’t had sex since.”

“Did someone hurt you?”

“No. I just...I asked her to stop and she didn’t.”

“Dean she hurt you.”

“It’s not that big a deal.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Well I don’t want to talk about it anymore, okay?” he said. He put his back to you and you took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I know we sleep in the same bed and…”

“And I don’t need to have sex with you. Would I like it? Sure. But my sister and I aren’t the only ones in this house that need to be taken care of. You’ve done a really good job of that lately and I’d like to start pulling my weight in that department. When you’re ready for sex, you tell me, otherwise, I will just cuddle you real hard until then, okay?”

“Alright,” he said quietly. He reached behind himself and wrapped your arms around him. You kissed the back of his neck, Dean taking slow breaths. “I don’t really know how to let someone take care of me though.”

“We’ll take it slow,” you said. “Like maybe with you being little spoon tonight.”

“Alright. I can try, sweetheart.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 5 here!

[daydreamreality]

So on and off I’ve been writing this super long post on some of my thoughts about Gilmore Girls. And something I wrote made me go, “wow, the evidence against AYITL just being the season ASP didn’t get to do is really stacking up because the two things I can see Jess being around for in season 7 is what he does in the revival except the circumstances with Liz are different.” SO. Hear me out. If the reason we didn’t get a “real” Lorelai/Luke wedding was budget restrictions (I call bullshit, why did we need TWO musical numbers)...well let me take you on a made-up journey of the end of season 7 on the CW with ASP showrunning. Without Netflix freedom and money to throw her unrestricted last hurrah with GG, we get our series finale with a full-on Luke and Lorelai wedding because, well, why wouldn’t this be the ending of the show??

I now realize that getting Luke and Lorelai married in one season after the shitshow that was the end of season 6 might be difficult so let’s just assume this is handled in a mature and healthy way and they’re back and better than ever! Because I honestly didn’t think about that bit when this scene popped in my head and made me go “WHY, it could have happened! And now I need to tell everyone!” And I’m not really in the mood to go about theorizing this AU season 7 in full.

Rory still has to get pregnant but not want to be with the father because ~*fULL cIrcLe*~. The way I can see this happening is Logan goes off to London, their long-distance relationship is a lot rockier, and she eventually finds out that Logan has been cheating on her. OR Logan convinces her they should open the relationship up; Rory is not comfortable with this but is too emotionally invested in him to let him go yet. Either way, the hurt she feels has her breaking up with him for real, is very sad, blahblahblah, and they end up having a “last hurrah” together that gets her pregnant. WHY? Because FULL CIRCLE. 

So we’ve seen Rory break up with Logan for good, she’s pregnant but we don’t know that, and we’ve gotten some sort of “window scene” that shows Jess still has feelings for her. WEDDING TIME. For real this time with family and guests and ceremony! Town square or Dragonfly Inn, take your pick.

Maid of honor and best man start the show. Jess is hilariously nervous because that’s my favorite look on him, ngl. While waiting on Rory to meet him, we get a nice little look between him and Luke of familial love and respect across the room. Jess gets distracted by Rory appearing and his whole face goes soft, and the proud smile on Luke’s face quickly devolves into a smirk because Luke has his number and knows he’s still got it good for Rory. Jess glares. I laugh. Rory is unaware of this moment of amazing communication and is nervous as well, but puts on her best brave face and walks arm-in-arm with Jess in all her beautiful grace.

Now for the actual ceremony, I could never even begin to come up with something as heartwarming and beautiful and hilarious as ASP or a talented fic writer. But I’m gonna throw in the detail that for some reason the officiant they booked can’t get there and Kirk has to step in last-minute because of course he’s an ordained minister. He throws in way too many personal stories and exudes his awkward charm (cut to appalled looks between Emily and Richard), but overall it goes surprisingly well (cut to proud, tears in their eyes like in Lorelai’s Graduation, MY HEART). We also get one little Jess and Rory smile at each other all shy and romantic-like because I wanna see it.

Now we’re at the reception. Rory comes up to Jess all cute and happy, “come dance with me.” Jess is like, why would I do that, blank stare. “It’s tradition.” Super cute innocent smile she knows will get anyone to do anything; Jess is not immune and is already going to say yes but he has to be difficult, Rory knows this.

“What tradition? And why would you think that argument is going to work on me?”

“Best man and maid of honor traditionally share a dance.”

“*rolls his eyes* Your mother is not going to care, and frankly would probably prefer not to have a picture of us dancing.”

“*pulls out the big guns* You owe me for prom.” Not unkindly, clearly in a joking manner. (I KNOW THIS IS A TROPE BUT I LOVE IT OKAY)

Fake hurt, clutches his chest “OUCH.”

The dance starts a bit awkward and stilted, but they slowly relax and enjoy themselves. Jess cannot waltz. Neither can Rory. We’re getting served some serious “Reflecting Light” vibes tho with the shots, set design, and another beautiful Sam Phillips number. The parallels are being thrown in our faces. We LOVE IT. We EAT IT UP.

Jess goes to make the slightest move to bring her in closer when a wave of nausea comes over Rory. She backs away quickly, and Jess does a “did I do something wrong” look/line like after the “Then She Appeared” kiss. She’s got her arm covering her mouth, looks panicked, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” runs out of the party. Luke notices and asks what’s going on. “I don’t know, she looked like she was sick?” “I’ll get Lorelai.”

Lorelai searches for Rory and finds her crumpled on the ground crying, sweaty hair, make up ruined, just completely unraveled. She tried so hard to keep this secret to herself for Lorelai’s big day, but she is too overwhelmed and tired. Lorelai settles in next to her, pulling the hair out of her face, “Oh honey, what’s wrong?” Rory cries harder.

After some good Lorelai hugs, Rory calms down slightly, looks at her mother distraught:

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m pregnant.”

.

.

.

.

IF YOU’RE OUT ON THE ROAD

[4stars-uswnt]

A New Beginning [Tobin Heath x Reader]

requested by @lion457457: Hey can you write a second part of this is the end if you have time where Tobin can’t live without the reader and begs for her forgiveness.

requested by anon: the angst was so good!!! can i request a sequel where tobin realizes she made a mistake and wants the reader (can be post man utd) (but don’t make it too angsty and also have a happy ending?)

requested by @arination99​: Is there a part 2 to This is the end?? If not can I request it??

A/N: this is a sequel to This is the End, so you should probs go read that before this if you haven’t yet. also this was a lil difficult for me to write bc i love both tobin and christen, also because i don’t condone cheating at all, but i hope you all enjoy this! 

warnings: mention of cheating

“You ready for camp?” Megan asks you, as the two of you wait for Allie to get her bag.

“Yeah.” You reply.

The past four months had been some of the longest of your life. After catching your girlfriend of one year cheating on you, with one of your teammates at that, you had spiraled into a lonely hole of sadness. Although you were starting to feel like your old self again, with the help of both Megan and Allie, your insecurities and self-doubt, which were only heightened by the breakup, still had a strong presence.

“You sure?”

You nod, slightly smiling. “Tobin made her choice. Will it be hard to see them both? Yes, but I have you guys and the rest of the team.”

There was no question that when the national team found out about the incident, there was a lot of discourse and arguments, your teammates upset with the two forwards. Fortunately for Vlatko, training camp hadn’t been for another four months after, otherwise there would’ve been issues, both on and off the field.

“Damn right you have us.” Allie approaches the two of you, slinging her arm around your shoulder.

“Yeah, Chris and Tobin may be my friends and business partners, but I can’t stand by what they did to you.” Megan adds on.

You shake your head and look down at your feet. “I appreciate it, guys, and I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me the past four months, I really do. But I don’t want you to break your friendships with them just because of me, okay?”

“(Y/N), look at me.” The pink haired woman puts her finger under your chin, lifting your head so your eyes meet hers. “You shouldn’t feel guilty about them losing us, or anyone else on the team, as friends, okay? They did this to themselves. You are not to blame for any of this, got it?”

“Yes, okay. Thanks, P.” You give her a slight nod. “But I don’t want anyone bringing it up or any fighting. Can you guys do that for me?”

Megan and Allie look at each other, deciding whether they’re willing to agree to that.

“Of course.” The blonde midfielder affirms, putting your request above their desire to yell at Tobin and Christen.

“Good. Now, let’s go.”

The three of you pile into an Uber and make your way to the hotel.

—————

That evening at dinner, after the majority of the team had arrived, you sat at a table with Ash, Ali, Megan, Allie, and Kelley. Some of the players who had gone on loan to Europe were still yet to arrive, including both Tobin and Christen.

A couple of minutes later, all discussion stops, everyone’s attention turning towards the door. Curious as to what your teammates were looking at, you turn around in your seat, and your stomach twists at the sight of who’d arrived.

Christen Press visibly shrinks under the scrutiny of her teammates, as she makes her way to the buffet. As she heads towards an empty table, Ash call out at her, making you cringe.

“Press! Where’s the girlfriend?”

“Yeah, thought you two would be together.” Kelley sneers, adding a comment under her breath. “It’s the least you could do after what you did to (Y/N).”

A couple of your teammates throw out some comments, causing Christen to wince. You can’t help but sympathize for the older woman.

“Stop!” You yell and slam your hands down on the table, ending their taunts. Everyone turns to look at you in surprise, especially Christen. “This isn’t her fault. She just happened to fall in love, and while yes, the timing sucked, and her actions were questionable, I don’t blame her. I mean I did at first, but I’m over it, okay? So you guys should be too.” You look around at your teammates, giving them warning glares. “So, stop yelling at her, okay? She’s still your teammate and your friend. I don’t want anymore fighting or yelling, okay? It’s over.” You conclude, sitting back down in your seat.

You see out of the corner of your eye Christen mouthing a small ‘thank you,’ to which you just nod in return.

A couple minutes later, everyone once again looks up from their food, as Tobin Heath enters the room, Alex following in pursuit. The two of them stop their hushed conversation, feeling the team’s eyes on them.

You watch as they go to get their food and sit at a completely separate table, leaving Christen to sit by herself.

What happened to her and Tobin? Were they still together? Were they even a thing to begin with?

—————

The next afternoon, training was not going well, at least not for majority of the team. Kelley kept slide tackling Tobin, a little harder than usual. Megan would purposely not pass to an open Christen, resulting in her losing the ball. You, on the other hand, were trying to be the bigger person, and made exceptional crosses, Christen connecting to them and putting them in the back of the net. However, to say that Vlatko was upset would be an understatement.

“Ladies!” He blows his whistle, waving everyone in for a huddle. “I don’t know what is going on with you all today. I’d like to think it’s because we haven’t played together in almost a year, but I know that’s not the case and there’s something else. So, whatever it is, you all need to sort it out. Am I making myself clear?”

A chorus of ‘yes, coach’ echoes amongst the team.

“Good.” Vlatko claps and then turns to the two captains. “Megan, Alex, I expect the two of you to plan some team bonding tonight. We have little time before the Olympics and even less time before SheBelieves.”

The two women nod, agreeing with your coach. “You got it.” Megan confirms.

“Great. Now, go get changed. Training is done for the day.” He dismisses the team, and you all head back to the locker room.

As you’re taking off your cleats and packing up your bag, Megan slides into the seat next to you.

“Hey, you gonna be okay for team bonding tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” You give her a small smile, as you continue to put stuff in your bag.

“I’m sorry that we have to do this, but you heard Vlatko, and honestly I agree with him, we need to bond as a team.” Megan continues to explain.

Standing up and swinging your bag on your shoulder, you let out a small chuckle. “P, I told you, I’m good. I want the team to go back to normal, too.”

“Okay. I’m just worried about you.” The older forward stands up, meeting your eyes.

“Thanks, Megan. I appreciate it.” You soften. “It’s definitely gonna be tough, but I’m also tough.” You give her a smirk over your shoulder, as you head to the bus.

—————

After dinner, the entire team piled into Megan and Lindsey’s room for the mandatory team bonding. No one knew what to do or say, a thick tension in the air. A few moments passed before Megan speaks up, clearing her throat.

“Obviously, everyone knows why we’re here. We need to work on our team chemistry, so tonight’s team bonding is gonna look a little different than usual.”

“So, we’re gonna all go around and say something that no one here knows about us.” Alex adds, nodding along.

You try your best not to your roll your eyes at the corniness of this activity. You want to speak up to protest, but you don’t need to, as Emily does it for you.

“What? This is dumb. There’s nothing about me that at least one person in this room doesn’t know about me.”

“Yeah! Ali’s my wife for goodness sake.” Ash exclaims, as many of the other women voice their disagreement.

Megan rubs her forehead, sighing. “You guys! I know this isn’t ideal, but we clearly have something to work out off the field in order for us to perform well on the field.”

The entire team turns, splitting their glares between you, Tobin, and Christen.

“We all know the issue here, so we should just leave them to solve it.” Kelley mutters under her breath, not going unnoticed by the rest of the room.

After a couple of minutes of awkward silence, Tobin finally speaks up.

“Kelley’s right. It’s clear that what I did has impacted the entire team, so I take complete responsibility for that, and I’m sorry.” The forward then turns her attention to you. “And (Y/N), I’m so so sorry for what I did to you. I can’t apologize enough. What I did to you was so wrong on so many levels, and it was honestly the biggest mistake of my life.”

You nod, not really knowing how to respond.

But Tobin isn’t finished yet, turning to look down at Christen. “And Chris, I’m sorry that we didn’t work out and that we had to end the way we did. It just want’t meant to be.” She looks at you out of the corner of her eye, as she reveals the last part.

The entire team is shocked by the woman’s confession that her and Christen have split.

“(Y/N), do you think we could talk out in the hallway?” Tobin addresses you, a pleading look in her eyes.

You feel your mouth dry and your insides twist at the thought of being alone with your ex-girlfriend. “Um, sure, I guess.”

As you make your way out of the room, Megan glances at you worriedly. You nod back at her, reassuring you that you’ll be fine. You subtly give her a stern glance, slightly nodding your head back towards Christen as a warning, ‘don’t you or anyone else on the team dare interrogate her.’

Exiting the room, you hear Megan clap her hands. “So, who wants to watch a movie?”

You and Tobin now stand alone in the empty hallway, an unfamiliar awkward space between the two of you.

“Do I really need to start this conversation?” You sigh.

“Sorry.” Tobin mumbles out, playing with the hem of her shirt. “I miss you, (Y/N). I know what I did was awful and absolutely unforgivable, but I want you to know that that was the biggest mistake of my life. You’re it for me.” She confesses.

Your eyes widen, not expecting her to say that at all. You can’t help yourself, blurting out the first thing that comes to your mind. “What about Christen?”

Tobin scratches the back of her neck, as she responds. “Uhh, we tried to make it work in Manchester, but I just couldn’t get my mind off you, and I guess she could tell. So we called it off. Chris deserves better than half of a relationship.”

“Hm, yes she does.” You hum. “And so do I, Tobin.”

“I know, (Y/N). You deserve the world, and I’m sorry that I didn’t give you that.” Tears pooling in her eyes, the guilt consuming her. “But I want to. I want to be with you again and show you that I can love you the way you deserve to be loved. I still love you, (Y/N), and I’d like a second chance, if you’ll give me one.”

You feel your heart rip into two. As much as you still loved Tobin and wanted to be with her, you were unsure if you could trust her with your heart after what she did to you.

“Tobin…” You trail off, the words lost in your mouth.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but I realized that you mean everything to me.” She rasps, practically begging at this point.

“Tobin, I’m not going to be your second choice just because it didn’t work out with Christen.” You firmly state, holding your ground.

“It’s not like that at all, (Y/N/N).” Tobin insists and shakes her head. “I love you, and somehow I got caught up in a relationship that somehow blended from a friendship to a romantic one. But I realized that you are the only one I want to be with, (Y/N), only you.”

Your eyes start filling with tears, your emotions from the past four months bubbling over, all of the anger, frustration, sadness, and devastation.

“Please, (Y/N), I beg you, please forgive me.” Tobin sobs.

“Tobin, you have to understand that you broke me!” You cry. “I loved you, hell, I still love you. But I trusted you, and you broke that trust. I want to be with you because I love you, but how can I after what you did?”

Tobin’s heart breaks at your revelation. “I know, (Y/N). And I know that I’m going have to work to gain your trust back, whether or not we get back together, as we still play on the same team. But I want to work and prove to you that you can trust me, no matter how long it takes. I’d wait forever for you.”

You see the desperation and sincerity written in her eyes. “I don’t know, Tobin.”

“Just give me one more chance.” She pleads. “One dinner. That’s all I ask.”

After fighting an internal battle, you finally concede, unable to say no to the woman you love. “Okay.” You agree. “One dinner. You have one dinner to give me a sign that you’re in this for the long haul.”

A giant grin breaks out across Tobin’s face. “Thank you, (Y/N/N). I promise you won’t regret it.”

“I better not.”

“Can I give you a hug?” She shyly asks, and you give her a small nod.

Tobin wraps her arms around you, as she pulls you into a hug. You bury your face in the crook her neck, breathing in her comforting scent that you’d missed so much.

“I missed you, Tobin.” You mumble

“I missed you so much, (Y/N). Thank you, again. I love you.” Tobin whispers, running her hand through your hair.

“I love you too.”

You hoped you were doing the right thing by trusting Tobin with your heart again, because you didn’t know if you could survive another heartbreak.

Although you couldn’t know what the future had in store for you, this was the a new start for the two of you.

This was a new beginning.

[smellslikemultifandomimagines]

Emily prentiss getting in a argument with the reader. Just pure angst

paring: emily prentiss x fem!reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: child victim (no gruesome details, just a mention), shooting, angst.

To say the case was a difficult and dangerous one would be a complete understatement. The unsub has been hard to catch; one minute you’re on his tail, the next he’s gone. He was profiled to be a white man, with average intelligence and was organised. Through his killings of happy families, he displays two different personalities, including sadistic and volatile, yet sensitive and remorseful. This lead the bau to believe they were dealing with more than one unsub, but from the way he killed his victims, it suggested that only one person was involved. Priors would include breaking and entering, possession of illegal drugs, and assault, but due to his age at the time, he only served a few years in juvenile and did mostly community service work. 

Everyone paired up into a motel room while working on the case. You and Emily, of course shared a room together. The first night was easy, both of you slept in each other’s arms, as you usually do, and slept quite well knowing that the next day was going to be a big one. The second night, and all the other nights following after that, however, weren’t. Both of you tossed and turned, bodies hot one minute, cold the next. The frustration and irritation kept building and building, creating a thick atmosphere between all of you.

Finally, it was the last day on the case. You knew it was when Hotch woke everyone up at about 3 in the morning, alerting that the unsub is being held in a gas station. Excitement and adrenaline runs through your body as you dress in your usual jeans and shirt, laying it with the FBI vest. Emily, however, is on edge. 

“Emily, it’s going to be fine, we’ve got him.”

“I just have a bad feeling about this,” she mumbles, sighing as she shoves her phone into her back pocket before opening the motel door. 

“It’ll be over in no time, I promise,” you kiss her gently on the cheek and take her hand in yours. The two of you walk over to the others and get in a car with Derek and JJ, leaving Spencer, Hotch and Rossi the other car. 

Hurriedly, Derek drives to the case station. The second you’re able to see what’s inside, your stomach drops. Emily is right. 

The unsub stands behind the registry, looking petrified as he notices the cars pull up, knowing it’s the FBI. The gun in his hand is pointed at the child (who you assumed was his foster brother, Dylan), who is secured tightly against the unsub’s chest. 

“FBI, put your gun down,” Morgan directs at the unsub with his gun pointing at him. 

“no, no, you don't understand, these people were-”

“neglectful when you were growing up, and now you feel you have to get back at them.” you interrupt, lowering your gun as you take a step towards the unsub. HIs eyes narrow at you in confusion, eyebrows knitting as he shakes his head. 

“how’d you know that?”

“it doesn’t matter how I know. But what I can tell you is, you feel lost. As a child, you never felt your voice was heard, or that you were good enough - always wanting to make your parents proud, but when they didn’t give you the attention you desired, you acted out. You started dealing in school, which escalated to breaking and entering charges, and finally moving out to a coke house.” The unsub lowers his arm with the gun as he listens to you. You can feel Emily’s intense stare on you as you step closer to the unsub. Knowing what you just said wasn't enough for him to surrender, you continue. 

“when you heard your parents were fostering Dylan, it broke you. He was getting the attention and the love from your parents that you wanted. I mean, if you ask me, that’s not fair is it?”

“no it’s not,” he spits, making direct eye contact with his parents, who are standing only metres away from you. 

“hey, hey, eyes on me, okay?” You say, feeling the adrenaline intensify as he walks with Dylan in his arms away from the counter and towards you. 

“You’re not in trouble, okay. But I’m going to need you to let Dylan go, okay? Can you do that for me?” From the corner of your eye, you can see Hotch and the others by the car, guns in their hands, and ready for any possibility. 

It was like time went by slowly and you knew what would happen, so you act quickly. The unsub’s arm raised, gun in hand ready to shoot Dylan, and before you know it, you shoot the unsub purely by reflex. One wrong move, one inch to the right, and the child would’ve died. 

The unsub falls to the fall, blood pours from his arm as he yelps out in pain. A few medics run in - one takes the child and the others works on the unsub.  

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Emily hadn't spoken to you since you were at the motel earlier that morning. If it wasn’t obvious that she was mad, it was now. 

Her feet stomp as she walks into her apartment with you trailing not far behind her. She dumps her bags in the hallway with an exasperated sigh. You watch her cautiously, not wanting to say something that’ll annoy her even more. 

“Emily?”

She’s quiet. Hands press into the kitchen counter as she leans on them. She sighs and looks up at you before standing up right. 

“that was an incredibly stupid, what you did back there.” She scolds. 

“Emily...” you sigh. “I had no other choice. You and I both know Dylan would’ve survived if someone hadn’t intervened.”

“you could’ve killed him, [y/n]!” the way her voice raises at you makes you flinch slightly. 

“are you kidding me, right now? You would’ve done the same thing!”

“no I wouldn’t!” she retaliates, slamming her hand on the kitchen bench. 

“okay then, what would you have done, huh?”

“don’t do this,” the sigh that leaves her lips causes you to take a step back. 

“fine,” you raise your hands in surrender before grabbing your bags. “I’ll sleep at mine tonight.”

“[y/n]...” Emily sighs again, reaching for your hand. 

“no, Emily, it’s fine. I’d rather be alone than be scolded and yelled at for something that I had no other choice in. I know he would’ve got hurt, okay! But that was a risk I was willing to take, and look how it turned out!” you yell, finally letting all your pent up frustration out. 

“this job is about taking risks you don’t want to take. You, of all people, would know that. You’ve been doing this a whole lot longer than I have, so I expected you to understand.”

“[y/n], I'm just trying to protect you. If that boy had gotten hurt because of that impulse move you pulled, I know you’re the type of person who won't forgive themself. 

Your fingers circle your temples as the headache grow stronger. 

“I'm sorry for yelling at you, I just-”

“no it’s fine. I get it,” your tone is sharp as you hold back on rolling your eyes. “Look, I think we're both just tired and it’s not helping, so I’m gonna sleep at mine tonight and we can talk in the morning.”

“okay,” Emily’s voice softens as she walks you out, feeling guilty for everything she said. 

Though both of you have stubborn personalities, you still love her, but god does it does it get on your nerves. 

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• ☾ ☼ ☽ •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

requests are open!

🌻masterlist🌻

[themilky-way]

Connections {s.r}

gif credit: nobravery on tumblr!

pairing: spencer reid x female! reader

summary: you work at the BAU and are best friends with everybody, except spencer. you think he just doesn’t like you until one day, he proves you wrong. 

warnings: just some minor hints of sadness, reader going through something, nothing major or specific. 

author’s note: ah yes I did miss writing and spencer reid has my heart entirely. stay safe guys! ALSO I’M BARELY ON SEASON 3 SO YA’LL BETTER NOT SPOIL ANYTHING ISTG LMAO

-------

working in the BAU, your job was never boring. five months in had changed your outlook on almost anything and everything in your life, and had your mind now racing at what seemed like a million miles per minute. it was an exhilarating  experience, regardless of how crude the crime scene could be, and it was about time you came to terms with that. 

the BAU team was just as thrilled to have you with them as you were to join. nobody expected-or wanted- a new member, and were ready to reject your application when they finally met you for the interview. however, after you demonstrated to everyone that you could profile a serial killer based on only the amount of blood at the scene and position of the victim, everyone basically wanted to give you the “welcome tour” of the headquarters. 

after you finally got an opportunity to get used to the layout of the job and your training ended, the team always looked forward to your “good morning” notes on their desk. being an early bird, you got there before everyone so you could get ahead on your reports, and always left small notes of encouragement on the person’s desk. it was a small and sweet gesture, and very much needed for the severity of the job. 

“seriously, this girl must be doing some type of hypnosis or something to everybody here. why is it that every time I see her, I just wanna hug her, huh?”

“not hypnosis, morgan. just plain ol’ appreciation,” jj said. they were huddled around his desk as they all read a note that said: “always keep your head up, champ. we appreciate the work you do around here :)”

by then, he was the last of the bunch to read his card. however, he didn't have a gold star attached to it, which meant he wasn’t the “agent of the day” as you liked to phrase it. derek flipped the sticky note over and attempted to find it, but stopped when he realized he wasn’t it. 

“wait, guys, so if I didn’t get a star, who did?” morgan asked, clearly puzzled. garcia shook her head and pouted, jj simply put a thumbs down, and prentiss muttered a “nope.” everyone knew hotch didn’t get it, because they figured he would call you in privately to thank you. everyone turned to look at you work in the conference room through the window. you were scribbling something on the whiteboard and had papers scattered everywhere on the table, unaware of the team’s puzzled expressions. at that moment, spencer walked through the double glass doors of the bureau and headed over to his desk as he normally would. as he did so, he found the team huddled together and looking at something, and when he followed their gaze he knew what this was about.

in truth, spencer never really cared for having a friendship with you. he looked at you as a coworker and just that, and developing a platonic relationship with you just wasn't anywhere in his mind. he did enjoy the words of encouragement and motivation every morning, though, and no matter how many phases of denial he went through, he looked for it as soon as he reached his desk. 

“hey, guys, wanna hear something I discovered about dolphins last night?” spencer teased as he made his way over to morgan’s desk. nobody turned their heads from your direction, and it wasn't until reid mentioned your note that everyone stopped profiling you and turned their attention to him.

“you guys wanna hear-yeah that’s what I thought-wanna hear my note (y/n) left me?” he held up the sticky note and everyone nodded eagerly. he turned the note so he was able to read it, and began. “ ‘the world is smart, but you’re smarter. have a great day, reid!’ how cool is this!” he smiled and at that point so did everyone, when they realized that the note still had more to it. 

“oh my god, reid! you got the gold star! congratulations sunshine,” garcia pointed out as she gave him a light punch on the shoulder. spencer’s mind started bouncing back and forth between thoughts when he looked at the tiny gold sticker below your comment. did this mean anything? should he mention it? 

the answer to that was yes, he should, but was he going to? probably not. pats on the back were given as the team got up from morgan’s desk and headed to their own when hotch came out of his office and told everyone to meet in the conference room in five to look over a new case. reid, as he walked back to his pile of reports, looked at you working on your own. he never really thought of you as a friend, and didn't want to for that matter. but the longer he looked at you he started to realize that maybe befriending you wouldn't be so horrible. as everyone entered the room and gave you a hug or cheery greeting, spencer opted to sit at the other end of you. but one thing was for sure: his smile was the brightest one in the room. 

the next few weeks went by quickly, and included a variety of new “agents’ of the day.” after reid, there was morgan, who practically wanted to kiss you after that. emily followed, who was beginning to turn into one of your closest friends. jj and garcia came next, and soon the four of you founded a girl’s night out every weekend. 

however, them being the best profilers in the entire bureau, they noticed that the notes progressively stopped. the team realized something was off with you, and they noticed that your demeanor was different. you began to come later than you usually did, at one point even later than derek. your hairstyle changed to a messier bun, your desk was worse than reid’s, and no more cute notes were seen for almost two weeks. 

“something’s wrong, you guys. she’s been here for months and she’s never once frowned or even forgot to put the cap back on her pen,” emily said, packing her files in her briefcase. jj nodded her head, “yeah I know, and I want to ask but I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I mean, what if we’re reading too much into it?”

“reading into it? jj, we profile murderers who we’ve never even met, I’m pretty sure (y/n)’s going through something,” morgan stated, standing up from his chair and pushing it in adequately.

“we know one thing: when she’s ready to vent, we’ll be here. in the meantime, we should go home and get some rest. we fly out to oregon tomorrow,” hotch said. everyone agreed, and they stood up and gathered their belongings and headed for the exit door. they waved and said their goodbye’s to you, who was seated at the other end of the room. 

you were the only one left at the bureau, and you were more tired than usual due to your lack of sleep recently. you closed your eyes, took a couple of deep breaths, and began to massage your temples with your pointer fingers. it’s been tough for you, taking care of your grandparents ever since they came to live with you. arguments with your mother always lead to the same thing: leaving. you loved them, and you adored having family with you, especially in a job like the one you had. but you had to sacrifice your sleep and wellbeing in order for them to be safe. 

you were so concentrated in your thoughts that you didn’t hear footsteps coming down the stairs, moving towards your direction, and finally coming to a complete stop next to your desk. it wasn't until a soft voice broke you from your thoughts, or more so from your nap at that point. 

“(y/n)?”

you lifted your head rapidly, and looked up to find the source of the voice, and when you did, you managed to slur, “reid, what the hell, I, uh, thought I was the only one left.

“no, I was just catching up on my reports and was about to go home. by the looks of it, you should too.”

“alright, catch you in the morning, spence. I still gotta finish this case file,” you were looking at him now, and as you spoke you gave a tiny nod to your opened manila folder. “wait you’re staying later? do you know how dangerous it is for girls of your type to be out at these hours of the night? I read a study once that determined women who wandered at night suffered the most danger between the hours of 1 a.m. to 4 a.m.. I mean you don't want to put yourself-”

“I'm not gonna be long, dr. reid, I think I’ll be fine,” you cut him off mid fact. you returned to your paperwork and picked up your pen to write some notes on the margin, and when you looked back up a couple minutes later, you found reid staring at you, confusion clearly manifesting over his features. 

‘I suggest offering you a seat, sir. that way you can look at me in distress as long as you like,” you let yourself chuckle a little bit, and even though it made spencer want to laugh too, he restrained himself and asked you what had troubled him for weeks now. 

“(y/n), what’s going on? you’re not the same since garcia got the last morning note from you. seriously, I-I’m here to help you.”

dropping your pen, you swiveled your chair so you were in his direction and looked up at him to answer him. “in all honesty, and by no means full offense, I don’t think you care what’s going on with me.”

in his mind, reid was going nuts, and his silence? not helping very much. all he could do was look down at you with a shocked expression and his mouth opened and closed before he finally rebutted your statement.

“(y/n), I’m sorry I made it seem that way. I really am and the truth is I didn’t really care for your notes at first until I stopped receiving them.” he crouched down now to level with your height on the chair, a hand laying on his knee and the other on the ground for balance. 

“I didn’t really care for a friend, until I realized I wanted your friendship. I never even thanked you for giving me the privilege of being ‘agent of the day.’”

you realized he meant it, and it wasn’t some cheesy reponse you were so used to getting. he felt it, and you began to realize you could also trust him even a little.

“thanks, reid. sorry for lashing out too, it’s just things haven’t been so easy back home. do you mind?” 

“of course not. I’m all ears, (y/n).” you nodded and thanked him, standing up from your chair and kneeling down to ultimately sit down criss cross on the ground. he did the same as you, and his attention was fully yours.

you told him everything that had happened; the fights with your mom, your grandparents moving in, your lack of sleep and how you felt. you vented to him about almost everything in your life and he listened like his life depended on it. at the end, you were crying a little no matter how hard you tried not to. amidst everything, he had pulled you into an awkward sort of hug, considering your position and the fact he doesn't give much physical affection to people. nonetheless, he gave you the comfort you needed and you valued it. 

he pulled away suddenly, and lifted himself off the ground a little to get his phone from his pocket. he asked you to get yours, and you did so by reaching over to the top of your desk. the both of you exchanged phones and he wrote his rather rapidly, you still trying to think about your own area code by the time he was finished. 

you exchanged phones again, and when you grabbed yours from his hand, he held on to it as well. before he let go, he looked down at the ground and then landed on your hand on the phone. 

“you can call me whenever you want. even if you don’t have a reason too.”

his eyes flicked up to your semi-red eyes, and he smiled softly. you did as well, and he felt small butterflies forming in his tummy when you did. spencer reid didn’t care for affection, nor for personal connections with anyone. but perhaps you were beginning to turn into the only exception. 

and he didn't really mind it at all. 

[collecting-stories]

Test Drive - t. 01 - Sarah Cameron

Summary: After a bad breakup you convince your roommate and best friend to go to one last party with you where she makes an unexpected move.

A/N: I love Emily Burns’ EP/Album Seven Scenes from the Same Summer and I get serious Sarah vibes whenever I listen to it. 

7 Scenes from the Same Summer Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

-

♡don’t make me your test drive for the weekend♡

“I hate to be the one to say this but I think you need to get out of this room and do something. It’s been almost a week Sarah-” You commented, rummaging through the suitcases of already packed clothes for something to wear to the party you’d been invited to.  

The comforter on the other bed moved, Sarah’s head peeking out as she wriggled around to look at you. “We were together for three years! Three years of birthdays and holidays and dates and vacations-“

You rolled your eyes. It was no secret that you were not a fan of John B and his whiny ‘pay attention to only me’ attitude that demanded all of Sarah’s time when he was visiting. When they broke up you had practically thrown yourself a party. “I know, I know. But you aren’t gonna move on from that laying under your blankets. When was the last time you took a shower babe?” 

“Is my personal hygiene really all that’s important to you?” 

“No, my best friend not totally losing it over a guy is though. You’re 3 hours away from home Sarah and he’s acting like you live on another continent. If he ‘can’t handle’ you going to college then why do you wanna be with this guy anyway.” It was the same argument you had with her every time that she fought with him about their schedules, the only difference this time was that they were totally broken up. A screaming match that you were forced to endure too.  

“I love him.” 

“I know you do,” you said, trying not to sound sarcastic, “but let’s push all the love down and just focus on what kind of douche calls you two days before the biggest final of the year and tells you that you’re selfish for asking him to come out to visit for the weekend.”

“He knows I can’t leave during finals! I never focus when I study with him!” Sarah complained, pushing the blanket down a little bit further.  

“Why’s that?” You asked though you knew the reason. You were desperate to get Sarah to this party with you and you needed her to actually get out of bed to do that.  

“Because,” she said, “because he doesn’t let me! It’s always ‘I’m bored’ and ‘can’t you do that later’ and ‘aren’t I more important than stupid books’ like I’m supposed to drop everything for him!” 

“What a dick.”

“He is a dick...” she agreed, trailing off as she flopped over onto her back and pulled the blanket up.

“Oh my god, you were so close.” You cried in frustration.  

“I said-“

“Yeah, I got the train of thought that just happened.” 

“What am I gonna do? What if we never get back together?” Sarah asked, sitting up in bed and brushing her hair out of her face.  

“I can’t imagine.”

“I just want him to call me and tell me he changed his mind or something. Like it was all a dumb fluke.” She face was blotchy from crying and she was picking at a tangled piece of hair near the end.  

“Sarah,” You stressed.  

“I know!”

“Listen, that girl from the third floor, Annie, is having a party tonight. Why don’t we go? It’ll be nice.” You finally said, defeated that you couldn’t bribe her out of bed and trying it the straight forward way instead.  

“I don’t wanna go to some lame party, I just want to be left alone.” 

“Okay, well I’m gonna...Victoria’s gonna be there, from my econ class, so I’m gonna head up there.” You confessed.  

“You’re ditching me for a hook-up?” Sarah practically screeched looking at you in annoyance.

“You said you wanted to be alone!”  

“Yeah like, go in the other room and watch tv while I sulk not abandon me for Victoria from econ!” She hated Victoria from your econ class. And she hated that you were thinking about some girl while she wanted you to be thinking of her.  

“Well...depending on the night I might very well be in the next room before the parties over.” You said, offering her an awkward smile.  

“Hooking up with her is worse than abandoning me for a party.” 

You groaned and stood up, walking over to bed and laying down next to her. “I haven’t dated in months babe, and I endured countless weekends sitting on that couch or going to Starbucks while John B ‘visited my you. The least you can do is let me have this.” 

“Fine but I’m coming with you. The last thing I need is Victoria from econ thinking I’m a loser cause I’m moping in bed on a Friday night.” Sarah said, climbing out of the bed.  

“That’s the spirit!” You cheered, raising your arms in the air and fake cheering.  

“Seriously?” 

“Whatever gets you out of bed.” You replied.

“I’m still upset!” Sarah snapped, digging through the suitcases you had just been crouched in front.  

“I know, I know.” You insisted, sitting up, “wear the leopard print dress.”

“I’m not trying to hookup with anyone. I’m only going because I have a reputation to maintain and Victoria from econ is the worst!”

“Maybe, but I heard she’s really good in bed.” 

“Is that all you care about?” She laughed for the first time in two days.  

“I literally cannot explain to you how little sex I have had all year. Besides the last party I went to that kid from Poly Sci grabbed my boob...and only because he tripped and put his hand out accidentally. That was the highlight of the last three months.” 

“I’m not wearing the dress.”  

“You look so good in it!” You said, already imagining Sarah in the spaghetti strapped leopard print mini dress.  

“Really? I think it’s a little tight across my butt.” She confessed, pulling it out and holding it up.  

“It’s tight everywhere, that’s the point. Besides, you have a great ass so who cares.” 

“Oh tell me more.” Sarah teased, turning to the side and popping her leg to pose for you.  

You grabbed her pillow off the bed and threw it at her, “get a shower! We’ll do praise Sarah Cameron hour later.” 

“Fine but your starting with how great my ass looks.” She said, grabbing her toiletries bag off the back of the door.  

“Super! Get a fucking shower and let’s go! Victoria-“

“From econ awaits. I get it!” The door slamming behind her was the last sound you heard as you flopped back onto the bed and tried to  figure out what you were going to wear to the party.  

-

“Did you find her?” Sarah asked, sitting on the arm of the couch, turned in toward you, knees almost touching. You were sitting on the windowsill scoping out the party.  

“Yeah, Annie snatched her up, literally. They are already in Victoria’s room by now I’m sure.”

“Annie does not wait.” Sarah commented, taking a sip of her drink.  

You groaned, looking down at your chest. “God, I should’ve gotten like breast implants or something instead of the nose job.” You grabbed your boobs for a second, squeezing them and then crossing your arms under your chest to push them out more.  

“I don’t think fixing a deviated septum constitutes a nose job.” Sarah teased, casting a look down at your mostly exposed boobs. The top was low-cut already and when you sat like that it offered up more of them to look at. “And besides, your boobs look fantastic.”

“You really think so.” You pouted at her, leaning so she was almost forced to look at them.  

“Oh my god, yes now get them out of my face.” She laughed, pushing you away from her.  

“Ugh whatever. You’re no fun.”

“I’m loads of fun.”

“Incorrect. I dragged you all the way here to this banging party-” You said, bobbing your head on the word banging.  

“You’re so embarrassing, why are we friends?”  

“-told you how great your ass looks and you can’t even flirt with me to make me feel better.” 

“Were you that invested in Victoria?” Sarah asked.  

“No, I just really need a good hookup or something. A girlfriend preferably.” You sighed, slumping against the window.  

“Those are two different things. And I heard Victoria only does hookups.”

“Is it so wrong to imagine Victoria from econ going down on me and then realizing what a fucking hot girlfriend I would be?” You asked. You could definitely imagine it, even if it wasn’t Victoria that you wanted to have as a girlfriend.  

“How would that work?”

“Forget it, you’re not bringing me down to your level.”

“My level?”

“Yes, your level, of being in a shitty mood. I’m going to remain hopeful that Victoria from econ will come back to the party, sweep me off my feet and, preferably, fuck me into oblivion.” You said, matter-of-fact.  

“Amazing.” Sarah replied.  

You sat up a little straighter when you noticed the door open and two girls enter the party, going their separate ways. “Ha! Look, I knew it.”

“What? Oh my god, they’re back already?” Sarah caught sight of Annie going over to a group of friends and whispering. One of the guys in the group put his arm on her shoulder and for a second Sarah imagined herself at a party like this with John B. Dancing and drinking, his hands on her.  

“Annie has the stamina equivalent of a goldfish’s attention span. She never lasts and she barely reciprocates.” You informed, not noticing your best friend’s distracted state as you watched Victoria from across the room.  

“How do you know?”

“We hooked up in September.” You shrugged. Your first college hookup.  

“You never told me that!”

“We weren’t friends yet! You were just some weird straight girl with a hobo boyfriend.”

“Wow.” Sarah exaggerated the word, rolling her eyes at you.  

You smacked Sarah’s thigh when Victoria glanced your way, turning to your roommate and best friend, trying not to look too excited. “Oh my god, she looked over, act interested in me.”

“We’re already talking?” 

“Like, pet my arm or something.”

“Pet your arm?” Sarah asked in disbelief.

“Just-“

Sarah grabbed your face in her hands, throwing her last bit of caution out the window, crashing her lips to yours. Quite literally, she pressed herself closer to you as she kissed you and you somehow pulled yourself enough out of the haze to kiss back, eyes closing without even looking to see if Victoria was still paying attention. All you could focus on was Sarah’s tongue wetting your bottom lip before slipping inside your mouth. Her tongue caressed yours and her hand ran down your neck and over your back before she was groping your breast in her hand, squeezing the soft skin through your bralette. She captured your bottom lip between her teeth, tugging gently as she pulled away.  

When you opened your eyes, she was staring at you, wide eyed, hand still holding your breast and the other cupping your cheek. “I-“

“Dorm?” You chanced asking.  

“Yes.”

She stood up, straightening her dress with one hand while you held the other, leading her through the crowd of people as if you were trying to make it back to your room before the momentum wore off and you were just roommates again. Victoria called your name when you got close to the door, having seen the entire kiss from her spot. 

“Sorry, can’t talk.”

Sarah cocked an eyebrow at her as she passed, throwing up the middle finger before she was totally out the door. She had always been annoyed by Victoria and it always had everything to do with how much attention you paid the girl in your econ class. But now you were pulling Sarah along and Victoria had subsequently lost. 

-

Sarah felt for the handle, back against the door, as she kissed you. Her other hand was in your hair, pulling you as close as she could as she tried to get the door to the dorm open. She didn’t want to think too much what this meant for your friendship or her relationship with John B or herself, all she wanted to do was enjoy this moment and the feeling of you against her. She finally got the door, tumbling through it and almost losing her balance but your arm around her waist caught her.  

“Holy shit,” she laughed and kissed you, not wanting to lose the moment as she walked both of you backward through the small common room to your bedroom.  

“Maybe you should open this door the right way,” you teased, your hands on her waist gently guiding her to turn around.  

She stepped back just enough to press her ass against you, looking back over her shoulder and smiling, “does that only work on straight guys?”

“No, that definitely working.” You laugh.  

Once you were both through the bedroom door and had it swinging shut behind you Sarah resumed kissing you, hooking her hands around the back of your neck and connecting her lips to yours. She walked backwards until her knees hit the bed. You pressed your body against hers, hands on her waist trying to bunch her dress up from there.  

She disconnected from you for a second, pulling the leopard print dress over her head, hair flying over her shoulders, and leaving her in nothing but a nude colored thong. You choked down a laugh and she frowned at you. “Not the reaction I was expecting,” she said as she grabbed at the hem of your dress.

“We have the same underwear on.” You replied and Sarah looked at you, eyes sparkling with laughter. She could remember when you’d convinced her to impulse by half the collection of Skims and then you’d both spent weeks flashing each other at random points during the day to tell the other how comfortable your clothes were.

“I fucking hate you.” She mumbled as she kissed you again, pulling you down onto the bed with her.  

When you propped yourself up on your elbow to look down at Sarah you could totally understand why John B wanted so much of her attention, though you’d spent an entire school year with her so it wasn’t something you were clueless to before. But she looked beautiful, laid out on the bed with her hair fanned out around her. She smiled at you and you leaned down to kiss her, lips brushing against her and then moving along her jaw to her neck and collar. You kissed the underside of her chin down to her clavicle while your free hand ran up her side, running your fingers along the underside of her breast and feeling goosebumps rise on her skin.  

Sarah’s eyes drifted shut at the sensation of your lips sucking a bruise into the skin above her right breast while your hand grasped her left, brushing your fingers over her nipple and then twisting it between your thumb and finger. She moaned, running her hand through your hair and holding on at the base of your neck. She guided you further down her body, your mouth pressing kissing all around her right breast.  

She moaned when you finally licked across her nipple, flattening your tongue against it and then sucking on her breast making her dig her nails into your arm. Sarah had a way of making a person dizzy with her. She could make you forget everything but her just by smiling or biting her lip but feeling her under you, getting to taste her slightly sweaty skin had you more in awe of her than you’d ever been before.  

-

“It’s cool with me if this is just a rebound or whatever, I get it. But we’re friends and I should be totally honest with you.” You said, staring at the ceiling so you didn’t have to meet her eyes. “I’ve had feelings for you pretty much since August when we started texting. I didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want you to feel weird or to think that I was trying to encroach on you and John B cause I would never but...after what just happened, I feel like whatever you choose to do, you should know.” 

“That you like me?” Sarah asked, laying there with you in the afterglow, her fingers brushing designs into your stomach and sides. She had never even really thought about being with a girl before...not really. Sure, Kiara had a girlfriend and when they first started dating Sarah had wondered what it would be like but not seriously.  

“Yeah.”

“Since August?”  

“Oh yeah, hardcore.” You nodded as best you could laying down. She hadn’t let go yet, that had to be a good sign.  

“What about Victoria from econ?”

You shifted, sitting up so you could look at her. Sarah sat up across from you. Finally you explained, “She’s hot and the exact opposite of you and that was definitely the point. But hooking up with Victoria wasn’t going to change the fact that I liked you. It might’ve lessened the blow of ya know, not seeing you all summer. This definitely won’t do that.”  

“I don’t really know what to say.” She admitted.  

“You don’t have to say anything, I’m just telling you, to be up front and cause...I want you to feel comfortable and I know you’re going through a lot with John B right now and the year is over. I also wanted to tell you that I totally understand if you want a new roommate next year.” 

“No, no, are you kidding me? Kiara’s roommate was a fucking psycho all year! I am not rooming with a stranger! My luck I’ll get stuck with fucking Victoria from econ!”

“You really hate Victoria.” You laughed.  

“Of course, I do! With her fucking stupid ‘I’m summering in Portugal’ and ‘once I made out with an ambassador’s daughter at a fundraiser for poor kids’ and ‘I speak three languages’.” Sarah said, mocking the way Victoria’s voice always sounded, “she’s the worst.”

“How many times have you talked to her? I’ve never heard any of those things.” You said, trying to think of how much you actually knew about Victoria.  

“Spring break that you bagged on! She fucking showed up and spent like three days telling me dumb stuff about herself, like, bitch I don’t care about you.” 

“Okay,” you laughed, “I think we’re getting a little off topic, let’s revisit the conversation we were actually having.” 

“I don’t wanna go back to the eight.” Sarah moaned, leaning over and pressing her face close to her ankles. “It’s gonna be Kiara feeling conflicted about who to hang out with and everybody being weird about parties and seeing John B pop up every five seconds because that would be my luck!” 

You bit your lip, weighing the options of asking Sarah back with you for the summer now that the two of you had just had sex. “Well I’m not sure how enticing it would be but, you could come with me back to Philly for the summer.” 

“What would we do in Philly?” Sarah asked, looking up at you.  

“We can go to museums or head to the shore for a day or go eat a 14oz burger or get cheesesteaks and giant slices of pizza or recreate the Rocky scene or go to a farm or see Amish people....” you listed, “any of these.”

“Eating. The cheesesteaks sound good.” 

“Philly has banging food.” You said, nodding.  

“Okay.”

“Seriously.”

“Yeah, okay, I mean we’re friends.” Sarah shrugged.  

“Yeah, of course, and we can stay friends.” You agreed. You knew you had feelings for Sarah and now she knew that too but you weren’t going to let them come in the way of your friendship.  

“Yeah. So, yeah I‘ll go to Philly with you.” 

“Okay.”

Sarah sat there for a moment before, looking around the room, before looking back at you and pouting. “Hey, do you think we could still cuddle cause I could really use it right now.”  

“Yeah, totally, I’m coming in for a cuddle.”  

-

taglist: @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming  @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @howdyherron @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @tragicmisfits @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @belledutchess @poguelifeeee @jjsthumbring @faded-blue @parkerpetertingle @thebookwormlife @summer-clouds-and-long-days @jellyfishbeansontoast @minigranger @louisolos @hoewkeye @love-someone-special @finecelle @vitaminekabc @tiredfeels @g4bster @strangerthanfanfiction713 @the-only-nana @tomzfrog @mozz-are-lla @vindictive-hearts @poguestyleskye @ssprayberrythings @pensysto @jenahbell @beautyandthebleh @lavenderxraindrops @gothackedalready @teenwaywardasgardian @sarahcxmeron @hvitost @haha-fuck-you-thot @stillbelieve398-5 @rewindlr @queenniccimicci @kissessforharryyy @thedarkqueenofavalon @alytavzla @bqmblebee @linniep @nerdypartytrashpsychic @xxchxrryxx @spencer-reid-is-a-cutie @mirjanak @kwjune @danielladreaming @obx-saltlife @youngestxhearts @spnobsessedmemes @wowitswondergurl @siwiecola @regev1408 @celestialmaybank @mybnkjj @averagxfangirl @mysterious-adventurer @justawilddreamerchild @rhyetaylor62 @calm-rejects @99sxuxii @oh-annaa @katiaw2 @aiifandomsunite @marteenuhh08 @x-lulu @kitkat0609 @ceruleanjj @yoxsh06 @wicked-laugh @obxwriterfan @justkeepdreamingswift @allie-mcginn @pcterparxer @literarycharleton @khiaraaa-in-spacee @crushe-s @teamnick @daydreamlilys @poguesnobx @collectiveuniverses @activist-af @mdgrdians @buckys-sunflower @vindictive-hearts @copper-boom @thatsme-johnbookerroutledge 

[cloveroctobers]

(A/n: this might be a little biased since I’m in love with this man & I’m basing the relationship parts of this on my mc/myself so hope y’all don’t mind 😬)

IG info/bio: @/lucas.koh | 93.1k followers | for business inquires please visit: kohptr.com

LUCAS KOH —

27 (28) years old

From Oxford, England

Father is Korean & a car salesman at a Nissan dealership, he’s a strict/serious man who has high morals but beyond that he can actually be a softie in rare moments (+ that’s who Lucas gets his height from 🤤)

Mother is actually Chinese but lived in Korea studying abroad and eventually became a successful chiropractor (s/o to doctor mondragon on YouTube who I watch to help me sleep some nights and wish I could see! Lol) with her own practice. She’s a firecracker, intelligent, and quick to say what’s on her mind and doesn’t care if you like what she’s got to say. Most patients like that about her, she’s honest and her family is used to her ways but in the same way it’s more loving than offensive? (Smol woman but will remind you when she’s cracking your body she’s got enough power in her)

Either he’s a only child or he comes from a family of all boys with two younger brothers (they’re all in their 20’s) or he has one younger brother and one younger sister idk you decide

I’m feeling like he’s a Sagittarius? Carefree in the terms of he wasn’t viewing finally getting with MC when she’s dating someone else as cheating. Mans was READY to risk it all for me okay and I was down for it but ofc I had to react realistically and NOT “cheat.” *sigh* one part of me was debating ‘are we really dating tho bobby? We’re on reality tv. We’re not gonna die without each other if we hang out in seperate rooms’ *cough* Nope. but I’m a woman about her loyalty

He’s definitely adventurous. I don’t see him as the type to want to stay home all the time even tho his work definitely keeps him busy/exhausted. He’s down for road trips 💯

Occupation? Physicotherapist. His mother inspired him to get into the field and watching sports + the way players got their injuries always intrigued him? So to provide the best plan to have someone heal was something he loved to do plus being hands on while teaching/helping was a passion for him + I feel like he would also use a massaging technique instead of the usual exercise part of it

Now as someone who suffered a ACL & Mensicus tear & is STILL dealing with this BS pain years later, I would be so thankful to have him around! I feel like he’d have a optimistic attitude towards his patients and that’s what people need not someone that’s insensitive (like my surgeon/PT’s I had)

He models from time to time, when he was first approached about it he was upfront about not wanting to do it. It was much different than getting your picture taken for the office. That’s usually quick, the whole modeling process felt longer but somehow he was talked into it by his brother who’s a photographer and his mother. “Do you think you’re ugly? ‘Cause I’m not and you’re a part of me, so therefore there’s no such thing. Just look at your cheekbones, your jawline! I gave you those. The only good thing your father gave you was height.” Which filled the house with snickers while Lucas’ father just rolled his eyes and continued reading his newspaper for breakfast

Has a motorcycle and some luxurious car—not a Tesla those are basic now 🤷🏽‍♀️

Loves his motorcycle so much he’s got a tat of it on his right bicep

He has two available parking spaces in his parking garage at his penthouse but keeps his bike away in a storage unit due to a neighbor scratching it after his girlfriend broke up with him? Saying she was off to date Lucas? But that wasn’t true at all. He barely knew the girl, they didn’t live on the same floor. People were crazy but if you push him his temper might come out

Owns a leather jacket that he paid a lot for

Believes in “treat yo self” if it means in quality when shopping and has no issue being a big spender but he knows how to manage it well (his father told him all about how his own father dealt with bankruptcy)

Since he’s often at the office the whole day, he’s usually a night owl. He loves night drives and night dining. That’s usually when he finds the best places to eat

There’s this one pho spot that he loves and it’s his go to spot when he wants something quick on the way home

Cannot sleep with his entire body covered in covers, either his arms/shoulders have to be out or his legs, which would be a issue for me/mc since I sleep with the covers over my entire body...yes even in hot weather with the AC cranked up😂

He also makes great kimchi fried rice & loves Italian food

Will wine and dine. I believe it. I envision it! He loves going out on dates with his significant other (If he’s single and not with me, I think he’d try out speed dating)

Will dress to impress, will buy you a new fit he wants to see you/us/mc in especially if it’s your anniversary

Loves taking bubble bath’s with infused oils or flower petals with significant other

He’s the type that takes long showers & it brings him a true sense of freedom. He’s never able to take a quick shower, he gets lost in his ideas of what to do next in this world & it’s limitless

If he’s in for the day, which usually doesn’t last long—he’s either in sweats or in a robe all day

Only drives his bike on the weekend or if he’s going out of town but if he’s going on a trip for a couple of days with MC & if she’s got a bit of anxiety like me? He’ll stick to his car to make them comfortable

I feel like he enjoys the winter season. Maybe if it’s a slushy rainy winter more than a blizzards/snowy season. He loves bundling up, much to people’s surprise. He’s more than just his good looks and body love island fans!!!

Doesn’t post much on his socials. If you need to see what he’s about then you should do so in person or already know who he is. The internet can’t tell you much, in his opinion

Keeps himself in good health, I mean duh what kind of PT would he be 😉 goes on night jogs with reflector clothes on & occasionally morning jogs & at home workouts

Probably will date someone younger than him. Not by much, I don’t think he can take immaturity well. (That maybe how he views it) The most is 4 years younger than him

Henrik is his best bud from the show. They hang out all the time, crash at each other’s places, and vacation together all the time. They will be each other’s future best men forsure

Doesn’t go out of his way to talk to the rest of the guys from the show but if he happens to browse his feed and sees something he wants to comment on then he’ll carry a conversation of course

Far as the girls? He talks to Hannah & Priya from time to time. He also follows Hope and they like each other’s posts but not much communication is there either?

Either has a mint or black phone case, probably a Samsung galaxy user

Likes pistachio frozen yogurt but he’s lactose & doesn’t want to believe it :(

Smokes cigars when he’s out with his boys

Has a tight knit group of friends, majority of them are from the medical field since they all went to uni together + most of them are also married so the pressure is so on

*He’s the oldest out of his sibs so according to his parents he’s expected to be married first yet his baby sis is engaged and she’s 23*

wants a family...eventually. Probably will happen in his early thirties? The max for children is 2 for him. He knows they can be a HANDFUL due to his own friends who have kids + he’s a godfather and he’s babysat before so he knows how it goes!

enjoys his freedom as stated which further proves he’s a sag lol

Enjoys going to saunas to cleanse his pores/ get rid of toxins. It’s the easiest way for him to do so even tho his brother clowns him for it

His love language is deff physical touch. He loves hugs and resting his chin on top of your head, forehead to forehead, his nose pressed in between the space of your neck and shoulder, gentle squeezes, sitting next to each other with your legs touching, cuddling, sleeping on top of you or you on him, etc

He loves kissing. It’s automatic for him and it can also easily rile him up

Has strong opinions & will show them but will feel like he’s being attacked if it brings on a confrontation/argument

Will forgive and forget

Plays strategy board games

Makes his own natural healing creams & gives samples to his patients depending on their needs

His fav colors are: blue, white, & grey

Will grow a bit of facial hair in the cooler months if it’ll make mc happy (I’m a sucker for facial hair but hate it on myself lmao) but if he dislikes the feeling on his face he will shave and finds he likes a shaven face better, the facial hair makes him look a bit older—which is okay but that’s just his preference

When he stops putting gel in his hair/styling his hair in a quiff hairstyle it shocks fans with mc commenting on one of his pics, “you’re welcome x”

Likes going to the Hard Rock Cafe on causal weekends

also likes getting freaky in public, down for whatever 🤪

He’s a traveler so if he leaves the UK, I’m seeing him land in Toronto, Canada first and falling in love with it. I feel he would vibe well with the culture there, might even consider getting a vacation home in that location

Celeb crushes? Anne Hathaway, Beyoncé, Lupita Nyong'o, Anna Diop, Imaan Hammam, Jodie Comer, Megan Fox, Shay Mitchell, & Cassie Ventura Fine

Oh Lucas. I feel like we have similar tastes? Somewhat. He probably listens to more rock than I do? Maybe 80s rock moreso? & He listens to: WALK THE MOON, Allen Stone (his fav) , Emily king, Gavin Turek, Melanie Fiona, THEY., DPR live, & Sik-k

Anthem = Young the Giant, “Something to believe in”

[sierraraeck]

Some Things Do Change

BAU x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Summary: Aundreya loops the rest of the team in on DeLeon’s most recent threat, and receives a phone call with unexpected news. Story twenty-three.

Category: Just a normal case. I guess a little angst and a little fluff if you look for it.

Warnings: Cussing. Mentions of hate crimes as their case. Mentions of death and murder.

Word Count: 5.6k

A/N: I still know nothing about prison protocols.

I had a plan.

But this time, I was sure that it actually accounted for everything. Now that I knew DeLeon’s main motivations were to get back at me, to destroy my connection with everyone I care about, and above all take an eye for an eye, I felt better prepared.

I called and told Mateo that he needed to be on the lookout in case DeLeon came after him, and I told Deen to put some of our best people on him without him knowing. If Mateo knew I had our own people watching him, ready to step in and help protect him, he’d get mad and make sure to lose them, talking some shit about being able to take care of himself. I couldn’t have that, because as much as I trusted Mateo, I equally didn’t trust DeLeon. He could have anything in store for us.

On the other hand, I talked to Hotch about getting a protective detail for Spencer, without Spencer knowing, but he told me we would have to tell him. I really didn’t want that, having Spencer worrying about me and also about himself, so I offered to put more of my people on him, but he said no. Hotch insisted that we get the team involved this time.

Which I heavily opposed.

He didn’t care, and gracefully reminded me that it was no longer my call considering a fellow agent was in danger.

We filed into the round table room where a detail was waiting, and instead of Garcia, it was Hotch standing by the screen, ready to present everything to the group.

“What’s going on?” Spencer asked, gesturing between Aaron and the detail.

“Sit down,” Aaron commanded. We did as he said, waiting for him to continue. A couple of side eyes were passed my way, but I did my best to ignore them and appear neutral. “As you know, a man by the name of Jamar DeLeon has recently crossed the BAU desk, and it has been brought to my attention that things have been getting more serious.”

It was getting harder to ignore the fiery glances thrown my way. “Knowing his motives with Chambers, and how things nearly ended last time, we’ve hired protective detail Clyde to-”

“What does Chambers need a detail for? Wouldn’t she just use her own people?” JJ jumped in, as if I wasn’t even there.

“Detail’s not for me,” I smoothly answered. Confusion flashed across her face before Hotch answered her unasked question.

“He’s here for Reid.”

“What?” Reid asked.

“Last time, DeLeon’s endgame was an eye for an eye,” Hotch stated. “He had his sights set on you, and we are sure that you are still the target.”

“An eye for an eye?” Derek confirmed. “Because she killed Xena, right?”

“Correct.”

“What about that other guy?” Emily stepped in, “Mateo?”

“It’s handled,” I assured. She gave me a look, but relented.

“What about Garcia?” Derek asked. “I mean, she actually got shot last time.”

“That’s true, but I don’t think he’s going to take the same approach as last time,” I said. “He already tried that and failed, so I think he’s going to go with a more personal touch this time, and as much as I love you, Penelope, you’re not his target.”

She let out an audible sigh.

“But I am?” Spencer confirmed.

“Yes.”

“How’d you get him off the first time?” JJ asked. “Couldn’t you do that again?”

Aaron and I exchanged a look, which everyone caught, before he answered for me, “That option will no longer work.”

“And why’s that?” JJ pressed.

“It was a one time offer, and is off the table,” Hotch sternly continued, giving JJ a pointed look.

“What are you not telling us?” Derek probed.

Hotch was about to say something more when I cut him off, “It’s okay.” I looked at him, and I could tell he was silently asking me if it really was okay, and I just nodded. “My one time offer was with Agent Howard Archer.”

“So you killed him to save Spencer?” Emily quickly concluded.

I shook my head, “Not exactly. Before I joined your team, I was hiding out within my own ring. I’d just escaped from prison and was trying to stay as under the radar as I could. Somehow, Archer found me, and he wasn’t there to arrest me. He hired me to infiltrate the BAU, get rid of the vice president, and pin it on Hotch. So, I-”

“Hold on. You were working with Archer and you killed him?” Emily interjected.

“Yes, I’m getting there,” I confirmed. Hotch was staring holes into me, because while he had figured out it was me who killed Archer, he didn’t know about all of this, specifically the part where I was supposed to get him charged with murder. “After getting to know you guys, I did everything I could to stall, and Archer was about to expose me when I got put in prison, which was actually a small blessing, giving me a legitimate excuse not to follow through. He visited me in prison and slipped up, letting me know that he was in contact with, and most likely hired, Xena and DeLeon to do what I couldn’t. I wasn’t about to let that happen, so when I was given the perfect opportunity to run, I took it. I was hopeful that I could keep them off your backs long enough for me to figure out what to do. The ring and I had a plan to get Xena on our side and then take down DeLeon, but when that didn’t work-”

“You killed her,” Rossi finished. “Without a single trace.”

“Right,” I nodded.

I was about to keep going when he asked, “How did you pull that off anyway?”

“I didn’t,” I smirked slightly, not answering his question. “I was pretty beat up though, so I went to Madden’s place, the doctor. DeLeon grabbed me from there and took me to wherever it was and started live streaming. I was able to get Reid out of that because I offered him more than what he wanted.”

“Which was..?” Rossi prompted.

“He could get an eye for an eye by killing Spencer or Mateo, but what he really wanted was for me to feel as hurt as he did. I told him that I’d carry out my deal with Archer, wrecking my relationships with all of you and most likely the ring along with it.”

“That was actually pretty clever,” Emily admitted.

I shrugged, “Not clever enough. The last loose end in all of this besides DeLeon himself was Archer. He was panicking because he’d hired three of the biggest criminals in the nation to do his dirty work, and we weren’t exactly playing nice with one another. I had people following him and they told me that he was on edge and having weird phone conversations. Plus, I thought he hired people to come after me and was worried that he was in contact with DeLeon to carry out the deal and get me caught in the process. He was unreliable, so…” I didn’t need to continue. “But now, DeLeon is going to be extra pissed that I played him and I’m sure he’ll be taking a more direct course of action, hence Clyde.” I gestured toward him. They were all silent, shifting their eyes between me, Hotch, and the protective detail.

“Holy shit, Chambers,” Tara spoke up first. “What’s your plan now?”

“That’s what we brought you in to talk about,” Hotch said, gaining back control of the conversation. “We will have Clyde with Reid and will then have to wait.”

“Wait for what?” Derek asked, the discomfort apparent in his voice.

“Wait for DeLeon to make a move. We may know that he’s one of the biggest criminals, but we don’t have any proof that will hold up in court, so yes. We wait.”

“You’re just gonna let him take Reid and kill him for evidence?” Derek raised his voice.

I shook my head, “He won’t kill him. At least, not when he first grabs him. He’ll want me watching, and preferably in person.”

“We’ll give him that,” Hotch assured. “Once Chambers is in with him, we can track her and arrest him.”

“And I can handle him until you guys show up,” I said.

“I, for one, do not think this is a good plan,” JJ chimed in. “It’s super unpredictable, and-”

“I’ll do it,” Spencer casually said.

“Spencer, come on, it’s-” JJ tried again, brows knit together.

“I said I’ll do it.” His voice was strong and exuded more confidence than I’d heard in a while. I was surprised he was so willing to do it, trusting that we’d get there in time.

“Good,” Hotch said, leaving no more room for argument, “Until then, we continue with business as usual. To not raise suspicion, Clyde will be acting as a NAT who is shadowing us. Garcia, you may present the case.”

“Yes, sir,” Garcia said, making her way up to the screen. “Five men within the last two months have gone missing, their last known locations being a gay bar in downtown New Orleans.”

“So we’re thinking hate crime?” Tara asked.

“That’s what it looks like,” Rossi agreed, “Do they all match the same description?”

“Do they ever,” Garcia said, pressing buttons to bring up all five men’s faces. “Mid-thirties, white, blonde hair, and around six feet tall.”

“Wow,” Emily commented, “That screams surrogate.”

“Now we have to figure out who for. Wheels up in 30.”

The team dispersed, but I hung back to talk to Penelope. She tried to force a smile and walk past me, but I called, “Penelope?” She stopped and slowly turned around to face me. “I-I wanted to apologize. On that video, I know I said some pretty terrible things and I just-”

“No need,” she quietly stopped me. “I know you were just doing what you needed to.” She then rushed out of the room, leaving me alone. I threw my head back, and sighed as I looked up at the ceiling. That went well.

“She’s just hurting.” His voice brought my eyes to his in an instant. Spencer quirked his mouth to one side. “It’ll just take some time.”

“I hate that I was the one who did that to her,” I confided, “And on top of that, I couldn’t even prevent her from getting shot. Looks like she got the best of both worlds.”

“Yes, but she knows you were trying to save her life. It’s a twisted sort of compliment that you almost couldn’t.”

“If you wanna look at it that way,” I shrugged. He was about to respond to me when my phone started buzzing.

“I’ll let you take that. Meet you by the jet in ten?”

“Sure,” I agreed, answering my phone. “Hello?”

A man’s voice came over the line. “Ms. Spade?”

I paused for a moment. Who is calling and why did they refer to me by my given last name? I contemplated answering when the man asked again, “Is this Ms. Spade?”

“Um, yes, this is she,” I replied.

“Hello, this is Todd Joseph with the DC correctional facility in Washington DC. I regret to inform you that your father, Joe Spade, has died as of 3:13 am this morning. I am very sorry for your loss. We recommend that you come down to the facility to make a decision on-”

“Any decisions can be made over the phone,” I interrupted. Under no circumstances did I want to visit a prison when I did not have to, and definitely not for my father.

“Of course, Ms. Spade. I guess my first question should be if you plan on holding a ceremony?”

Did I plan on holding a ceremony? I didn’t even think I was the right person to be asking. But there was no one else in his life, which made me the sole decision maker. “I do not.”

“Is there anything specific you would like us to do with his body? Any belongings you may want to search through?” His voice sounded calm, like this was the only thing he had to do all day, like nothing else was more important than calling Joe Spade’s estranged daughter that was the one who put him in prison in the first place to ask what she wanted to do with his dead body.

“No. Do whatever you need, but I will not be taking part in anything regarding Joe Spade,” I replied, a bit too harshly. I then hung up the phone, and hoped that he got the message and wouldn’t call me back. I leaned back against the table, feeling empty. I wasn’t sad that he was gone. He’d done nothing for me except try to kill some of the only people I care about and ruin my childhood. As messed up as it sounds, I always imagined what it would be like, the day he died. I knew that I wouldn’t care, but somewhere in my head I had the image of me feeling happy. Relieved. But he’d been so far out of my mind, that I really didn’t feel anything. It would be like if some random person called you up and told you that a complete stranger across the city died and you were supposed to make a decision about what to do next.

I felt nothing. The only thought swimming through my head was that I was officially the last Spade standing. I was it. My grandparents had died of old age, not like I knew them well, my mother was an only child and my father had a younger sister who had taken another last name and I’d never met her anyways. I am it. I officially have no family left. And I wouldn’t even consider myself a Spade.

I was drawn from my thoughts by the sound of footsteps running toward me. “Aundreya!” Spencer called. “We have to go. I thought you were going to meet me in ten?”

Have I really just been standing here for over ten minutes? “Yeah, sorry, I got distracted.”

“By that phone call?”

“I guess,” I tried to play it off, “Let’s go.” I brushed past him, grabbed my go-bag, and started jogging toward the jet.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

The case was actually pretty standard. We’d found the perp in under four days, and just had to interrogate him before we could officially arrest him.

Spencer had been eyeing me for the past couple days, and just recently, so had Emily. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but neither said anything to me, and no one else was acting off, so I let it go. Spencer and I were assigned to go in and interrogate a man by the name of Chase Terry who fit the profile to a T.

We casually walked into the room, Spencer taking the seat across from him, me standing in the corner with my back against the wall, hands in my pockets.

“Chase Terry?” Spencer started in a conversational tone. No response. “What were you doing two nights ago when Liam Parish went missing?”

“I don’t have to talk to you,” Chase stated, crossing his arms.

“You probably should,” Spencer sympathetically said, “We’re just trying to cross you off our suspect list so we can find the guy who did this.”

“And I’m supposed to believe that?” Chase asked. “You put me in handcuffs and dragged me here. You think I did it.”

“You’re right. Some of my colleagues do,” he admitted, voice still soft, “But I don’t. See, I don’t think you match the profile of an out of control, spiteful, bipolar man with daddy issues and internalized homophobia. I think you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Chase shifted in his chair and locked his jaw, “I’m not gay.”

“I didn’t say you were. So just tell me where you were two nights ago, and I’ll let you go,” Spencer offered. Chase just sat there. Then, Spencer decided to turn up the heat, voice getting a bit more frustrated, enunciating each word carefully. “Where were you two nights ago?”

Still nothing, so Spencer pushed harder. “Where were you? At home with your boyfriend?”

“I’m not gay!”

“Then why was your phone pinging off of three cell towers around the same gay bar that Liam Parish was last seen at?” Spencer had leaned in on the table, getting very close to Chase. “You were there, we know you were. What were you doing at a gay bar if you’re not gay? Answer me!” There was fire in Spencer’s eyes as Chase still had nothing to give us.

I decided to cool things down a bit, my voice skating across like ice, “Careful, because if you piss him off so much he decides to leave,” I clicked my tongue, “I’ll be the one in charge.”

“Who are you?” Chase asked, finally acknowledging my presence.

I nodded my head toward Spencer, “He asked you a question first. What were you doing at that bar?”

Right as Chase leaned back in his chair, clearly closed off to answering any questions, Spencer stood up and walked out of the room, but not before giving me a small eyebrow raise and a smirk.

My turn. I stayed leaning against the wall in the darkest corner, waiting for Chase to speak first. With the help of a perfect set up from Spencer, he did. “What’s his problem?”

“I’ve been asking myself that for years,” I feigned annoyance. “But tell me about you. Raised by a single mom, no siblings, absent father. Me too, actually.” I slowly sauntered toward the table, resting my hands on the back of the chair Spencer had just been sitting in. ��He used to yell at us a lot, when he was home, which he wasn’t often. My mom finally divorced him after finding out that he was cheating on her.”

It was close enough to the truth that I could be convincing, but close enough to his truth to get his wheels turning and hopefully lips flapping.

“Your father cheated on your mother?” Chase asked, a bit skeptical.

“Yeah, and for some pretty young bitch like half his age,” I lied, allowing my voice to sound a bit more angry. “He’d been lying to us for essentially my entire life and then left us for her. God, I just wanted to tell him how much I hated him for that.”

“What a dick. Mine left us for some guy he claimed to be in love with. Can you believe that there are so many men that do that?” Chase asked, leaning back in from his seat.

“The percentages are ridiculous,” I sat down as I continued talking, “Apparently 70 percent of all marriages see at least one incident of cheating. It’s unbelievable how these people, especially men, are willing to just throw their family away for some fun one night.”

“Yeah that, or like for you and I, an entire secret life,” Chase agreed.

“I know! It just makes you so angry, doesn’t it?”

“Absolutely.”

“I wanted to become an FBI agent so that I could track down my father and tell him to his face how much I hated him,” I gave a single laugh, “The look he gave me…” I pretended to revel in the feeling.

“It must’ve been nice. I haven’t been able to track down my father and do the same.” He looked like he was zoning out a little, probably imagining what he’d imagined doing a thousand times to his father, what he’d already done to men like Liam.

“I hope you get to one day. It’s an amazing feeling. But for now I guess you’ll just have to keep using men at bars instead,” I casually added, then held my breath.

He sighed. “I guess. It’ll never be as good as the real thing, though.”

“No, hurting them will never be as satisfying as digging your nails into your own father’s throat,” I snarled.

He flashed a wicked smile at the thought, clenching his fists, “Not even close,” and I knew we had him for sure. There wasn’t a single jury that wouldn’t convict him after seeing that smile and that essential confession.

“Come on, I’ll take you to our tech guru and she can help you find your father.”

“Really?” he asked, standing up. I nodded and we made our way to the exit. I motioned for him to go ahead of me, but before he could grab the handle, I shoved him up against the door. I already had the cuffs halfway around his wrists by the time he yelled, “Hey! What the hell!”

“We don’t make it a habit of helping people going to prison find their final target. Sorry.” I led him out the door while he struggled against me, practically throwing him in the precinct holding cell until he could be transferred to a more permanent one.

“Nice job,” Emily complimented. “Way to connect with his anger towards his father.”

“Thanks,” was all I offered as I walked away, barely catching the shared look between her and Spencer.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

By the time we boarded the jet, it was the middle of the afternoon and we were on schedule to get home before dinner. I was about to pull out a book in hopes that it would make me tired enough for a plane ride cat nap, but I was stopped shy by the tapping sound of wood on wood.

Spencer sat down happily across from me, setting the folded, portable chess set in the middle of us. “Want to play a game of chess?”

I looked at him with a blank face. “Why?”

“Because you enjoy playing,” Spencer answered, a bit of a question in his voice. He must’ve assumed that I would immediately say yes.

“You always beat me,” I slightly pouted.

“But you never back down from a challenge,” he reminded me.

I quickly glanced around at everyone else on the jet, and the seat Spencer used to be occupying at the opposite end. I cocked an eyebrow, “Everyone else said no, didn’t they?”

“Well, I, I uh … No? No. That’s not what-” he floundered.

I smiled. “Just set up the board.”

He happily obliged. We went through three games, and before we started our fourth, Rossi called over, “You just don’t know when to quit, do you?”

“Well, someone’s got to keep his genius brain occupied, and we all know it’s not gonna be you,” I joked, eyebrows raised.

“Okay, I see how it is,” Rossi smugly said, tossing his hands up in surrender, “Either way, I’m just glad I’m not you.” I rolled my eyes, and we set up for our fourth game.

And then the unthinkable happened.

I beat him. For real. I really, truely, beat him.

I couldn’t believe it, and clearly neither could Spencer because he hadn’t moved from his position, hands under his chin, elbows on the table, eyes staring at the board, so I confirmed, “Did I do it?” He slowly looked up at me, lips pressed together, confusion in his eyes and I knew. “Oh my god, I did it!”

My mouth fell open and I clapped my hands together. I reached my hand over the board, and he reluctantly took it. “Good game.”

“It really was, wasn’t it?” I rhetorically asked, staring at the board with wonder. Reid started laughing, and I had to laugh with him. We’d played so many games of chess over the years we’d known each other, and I started to give up on my promise that one day I’d beat him. “What game number is this?”

“203.”

“Holy shit,” I said. “No wonder everyone on this plane thinks I’m fucking insane.”

“That’s because you are,” Rossi called over again.

“True,” I agreed, “But it paid off. Bet now you wish you were me.”

He just playfully shook his head.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

When we landed, it was almost 4pm and we decided we’d spend the next hour getting a jump start on our paperwork. We decided to go and eat together (which I somehow got invited to?), but right as we were about to leave, Spencer and Emily awkwardly stood in front of me. They didn’t make a move to get out of the way, so I just stared at them knowing damn well they were about to address the awkwardness I’d been sensing.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Emily asked.

I furrowed my brow, “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know you just seem … not yourself,” Emily observed.

“I’m okay,” I told her with certainty.

“You’ve just been acting … I don’t know actually, you’ve been acting pretty normal,” Emily struggled, sounding a bit frustrated.

I gave her a look. “I’m confused.”

“Dull?” Spencer intervened, “Like you’re you, and you’re acting like you, but something about you seems duller than usual.”

I cocked my head to the side. There was only one thing that made this week different from all of the other weeks, which was, “My dad died.” My voice was very steady and neutral, which there was no reason for it to sound otherwise.

“What, really?” Emily was shocked, eyes going wide.

I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess it happened Tuesday night, well I mean Wednesday morning.”

She looked over at Spencer who was trying to hide the fact that he was gawking at me, and she cautiously asked, “Should we be doing anything?”

“I don’t think so.”

“No celebration?”

“Emily!” Spencer turned on her.

“What? He was a terrible guy,” Emily defended, shrugging with her palms up.

As Derek walked out of the bullpen to join the party, he added, “I’d toast to that.”

“Derek!” Spencer screeched, wide eyes trained on him.

“She’s right, though,” he replied, “Dude sucked.”

“He was still her father,” Spencer hissed.

I decided to step in, “Not really. He was more like a stranger, I didn’t know him. You know I always thought I’d be happy when this day came, but I really just don’t feel anything one way or the other about it.”

“That makes sense,” Emily nodded, “So if you’re feeling normal, does that mean we can go out for normal drinks?”

Spencer elbowed Emily, and she glared right back at him. “Yeah. Just normal, after-case drinks.”

“Fantastic, first round is on me,” Emily smiled.

“Ooh, first round of what?” Penelope asked, as she joined us in the hallway outside the elevator.

“Ask Chambers, she gets to choose,” Emily declared.

“Ugh, not fair,” Penelope whined.

“Well, her dad died, so…” Derek explained.

“Oh, seriously?” JJ asked with a little pep in her voice, joining the rest of us with Tara, Hotch, and Rossi on her trail. “Uh, congratulations?”

“Not you too, JJ,” Spencer complained. I pressed my lips together to hold back a smile. It was kind of endearing that he thought the team should be more sensitive about my feelings or whatever.

“What? I thought you hated your dad,” JJ looked to me for confirmation.

“I did,” I told her, “But I don’t really feel anything about it.”

“That must be nice,” Tara added. I nodded and couldn’t contain the small smile that pulled on my lips.

I leaned over to where Spencer was still tensely standing next to me. I whispered, “It’s okay, they’re just trying to lighten the mood. Plus, they’re kinda right.”

“I just want to make sure they’re not being insensitive,” he softened his eyes as he looked at me.

“They’re not,” I assured.

When we got to the bar and diner, Emily followed through and bought us all a round of tequila shots. Four rounds later and a few other drinks in, she announced, “I know you said normal, but I think we should go around and share our favorite memory of Joe Spade.”

I laughed in her face, “You met the man once!”

“Exactly. I’ll start,” she smiled. “My favorite moment was when we found out he’d been stalking you for months because he just wanted you to talk to him.”

“Wait, what the hell?” Tara asked.

No one answered her because JJ’s turn was next. “My favorite moment was when she calmly stared him down while he was holding on to Spencer.”

“What the actual hell?” Tara intervened again, “How am I just now hearing about this?”

She was ignored yet again when Derek said, “My favorite moment was when Aundreya kicked his ass and told him off!”

There was some hooting and hollering at that, and I just shook my head with amusement. Hey, at least they know me well enough to know I can joke about anything, especially the weird and bad things that happen to me, and feel comfortable enough to actually do it. Granted, they are kinda tipsy. “You people are truely demented.”

“Especially when you’re drunk,” Tara added.

“Like you’re so much better,” Penelope slurred, sticking her tongue out.

“Maybe not,” Tara said with a smirk, “But I bet I could still kick all of your asses on the dance floor.” Quickly, all five of them scurried in that direction, leaving Spencer talking with Hotch, like they had since the beginning, and me with Rossi. I rested my chin on my fist as I looked down the bar toward Spencer, who was gesturing with his hands and smiling at something Hotch was telling him, probably about Jack.

I’d been trying to control myself, but ever since he kissed me, and I knew that things weren’t perfect with Maeve, I found my mind wandering to him. Especially knowing everything Hotch told me about him when I was gone, and how I needed to stop running from emotionally difficult things, I just couldn’t suppress the urges to look and think about him anymore. I gave in. I gave myself hope. Which was one of the most dangerous things I’d ever done.

“So what’s with you and the kid?” Rossi said, sitting down in between me and my staring. I gave him a look and he asked, “What, you said act normal.”

“I did say that,” I grudgingly admitted.

“So… what’s with you and Reid these days?”

“Who said there was anything with me and Reid these days?” I fired back.

“Oh Chambers,” he faked disappointment, “You know you can’t lie to profilers.”

I sighed, “I’m not going to be a homewrecker.”

“I have news for you. You can’t be a homewrecker if there is no home to wreck,” he pointed out.

“Does everyone forget about Maeve?” I asked.

“He doesn’t talk about her,” Rossi waved it off.

“He’s a private person,” I acknowledged.

“Yeah, but you don’t understand,” he said, “He used to talk about her. Then you came back, and he stopped talking about her.”

We sat in silence for a while longer before I felt the need to voice a fear of mine since this all started again. “Do you think he’s only showing interest in me because he’s been to prison?”

“What gave you that impression?” Rossi’s voice was a mixture of confusion and what sounded like it could be boredom. Fed up, maybe?

“Come on we all know he can’t accept the good things that happen to him, so what if he's just accepting the bad ones instead? I mean he thinks Maeve deserves better, so what if settling for second place is some weird form of self punishment?” The moment I said it, Rossi narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head.

He sighed, “You’re crazy, I don’t know how you got there.”

“Exactly!” I pointed out, “I am crazy, that’s why I can’t figure out why, under any circumstance, he’d be interested in me.”

“Does it matter?” he asked, dragging the words out as he shook his head slightly. I just looked at him. “Seriously, does it matter why he’s interested in you? The reasons don’t change anything. You care about each other, so just go for it, there’s really nothing standing in your way.” I was about to protest when he repeated, “Nothing. At least, there’s nothing from his end. Is there something from yours?”

“I mean-” I struggled to voice my thoughts.

“Look, I don’t know how you act around that Mateo character,” he said and I sighed. Of course he knows that’s something I’m thinking about. “But I know how you act around him, and I know how he acts around you. Think about what you really want, Aundreya, and then just go for it, but don’t keep putting yourself, and Spencer, through this.” With that, he got up, leaving me alone with a perfect view of Spencer’s glowing face.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

When the night came to a close, we all had to get back to our places. Hotch, Rossi, and Spencer left early, Derek and Penelope got a cab, Will came to get JJ, and I drove Emily and Tara home. They said they could get a ride home like Derek and Penelope, but I insisted. Plus, I really didn’t want to go home already. It’d become a place I dreaded being at.

I opened my door to the usual sight of red on the opposite wall, and had to do a double take to actually notice.

Underneath “This isn’t over” was another three word phrase in brilliant red:

I have Spencer.

I dialed Aaron at lightning speed, “DeLeon has Spencer.”

“Get to the office now. I’ll call everyone else.” That was all he said before hanging up. I turned around to head right back out the door, and saw that someone was blocking my way. I bitterly smiled to myself as I set down my phone and started taking off my jacket.

“Haven’t you people given up yet?” I patronized. “You lose every single time.”

“It’ll work eventually,” a low, booming voice responded.

“Maybe, but,” I narrowed my eyes. He took a step toward me as I delivered a single spin kick to the side of his head, locating two more guys in my peripheral vision, “Not this time.”

Series Taglist

@justanothetfangirl @kris-stuff @blameitonthenight21 @wooya1224 @unded-bride @swiftingday @dezzxmx

[hopeatermeetsgodzilla]

Chapter 17

“Holla, Emily Kane. Sure is nice to finally meet the person who keeps breaking through our security system.”

Despite the initial surprise, the woman quickly shook her head, gaining her bearings back. “And you must be Julian Cyan Florès.” She answered back.

“Alright, I’m gonna have to stop you right there chica- it’s just Florès, J.C. if you’re a friend. And if you were trying to be intimidating by using my full name: that is nowhere long enough to be my actual name.” Florès informed her, shaking his head. “Anyway, did you guys know the military thinks you guys are Monarch agents in disguise?”

“What?” The woman on the screen- Emily Kane- asked incredulously. “Well that would explain why no one has come after us- wait a minute, did you just- !?”

“Expose the existence of your group to the military and blow the cover you guys didn’t even know you had?” Florès asked, before smirking. “Sure did, chica.”

Serizawa blinked, before turning toward the younger man. “How did you do that?”

“Serizawa, I’m the one keeping the firewall so solid.” Florès told him, really looking like he wanted to deadpan but restraining himself. “I know every single attempt to breach it, failed and successful alike. By the way,” The younger man turned back to the screen, brows furrowed. “Pretty smart to hack the cameras the one moment I’m not looking at a screen. Too bad the footage you got is basically useless now.”

Kane sighed. “What do you want from me, Florès? And don’t try anything sneaky, I know what you’re capable of.”

“And you think I don’t know about what you’re capable of, Emmy?” Florès started, his teeth flashing almost menacingly as he smiled. “You’re twenty-six years old, an orphan, and you got yourself a master in bioengineering with a minor in programming two years ago. You live alone with three cats- that’s sad- and the reason you decided to join the Titan Liberation Front is because Jonah is the only one who didn’t dismiss your talents because you’re a young black woman in field dominated by white male.”

She seemed surprised at that. “How do you know all that!?”

“Oh, idle snooping around in Jonah’s files. Dude needs a better firewall, and to trust his employees enough to not collect every single bit of info on them: official address, names of loved ones, birthplace, social security number-”

“Florès, we get it. You snoop around.” Emma started, getting up from behind her desk with her husband not far behind her. Until the Ghidorah fiasco was resolved, Monarch had allowed her to stay and help, and this was, in fact, what the earlier argument between Monarch’s head-scientists and the military had started about. “What I want to know is what the Titan Liberation Front thinks it’s doing.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Kane asked. “We’re saving the world.”

“By releasing the Titans- that doesn’t make sense!” Mark retorqued back, before Emma put a hand on his shoulder.

“Actually, it... does.” She started. “As impossible as it may seems. You know how the planet is slowly being cooked by pollution?” He nodded. “A very possible theory here at Monarch is that the Titans can fix it.”

“Indeed.” Kane started back, taking a deep breath. “Humans... w-we’re a sickness. An infection on the planet. But like all organisms, the planet has unleashed a fever to kill it’s infection. It’s rightful rulers. The Titans.”

“Is that what you actually think, or is that what Alan ‘Eco-fascism is my middle name’ Jonah fed you so he could get you to abandon your ideals and work for him?”

“Florès.“ Serizawa admonished before turning toward the screen.

“Jonah made me see the truth.” Kane snapped back. “If the human infection continues to spread, the planet will perish, and everyone with it. Unless we let the Titans do what they must do.”

“And what will be left then!?” Mark exclaimed. “A dead, charred world overrun by warring giants-”

“No, actually.” Kane answered, shaking her head. “The Titans- they emit radiations that keeps the planet going. It’d be more like a land buried under the ashes of a volcano bringing life back to the land. And the survivors will be able to reap the rewards.”

“This is a dangerous path.” Serizawa hissed. “You’re all messing with forces beyond our comprehension- gambling with the life of millions!”

“And what are you gambling with?” Kane answered back. “Monarch is on the verge of being overtaken by the military, and all the resources you’ve dedicated to merely studying the Titans will be used to enslave them, destroy them, use them as weapons- if that happens, the planet will die!”

“The planet will die if Ghidorah is allowed to do as he pleases!” Graham started, visibly at the end of her patience. “They’re not from Earth! They are hostile Titans from outer space, who have always been malevolent, and your group forced one of our own to free them!”

“I understand where your intentions come from, miss Kane- I used to think similarly when I first joined Monarch.” Emma started. “But if we let this happen, there will be no going back. Tons of lives will be lost, and what will be left will be plunged into chaos. And that’s only with what we know about Earth’s Titans: Ghidorah isn’t part of the natural order, and they have the potential to disrupt it severely, if not destroy it beyond repair. Do you really want to to risk so much just for a slight chance of the planet healing?”

“... If that’s what it takes, yes.” Kane rubbed her eyes. “I suggest you all take refuge. We know Monarch has built bunkers in case of a mass extinction event caused by the Titans. I suggest you find them before Ghidorah comes out hiding.” Before anyone could say anything, she cut communication, plunging the room into a consterned silence.

You could hear a mutter of “That bitch.” from Dr. Chen, 

“Well,” Stenz started. “I’m certainly surprised her message idn’t resonate with you people-”

“You. Shut .Up.” Florès hissed, glaring at a bewildered Stenz through the screen. “As far as I’m concerned, Ghidorah being free is your fault, and I don’t want to hear you tell us how Monarch should do their job, or that they have any affiliations with those madmen from the T.L.F., ever again, got it!? If you do, you’re next on the list of people I have to do some... idle snooping around about.”

“... Got it.” The admiral closed the screen shortly afterwards, a sigh of relief coming from almost everyone at this.

“We need to find a way...” Serizawa muttered under his breath, before turning toward the programmer. “Florès? I’m going to ignore the fact that I should probably fire you for cybercrimes on two conditions: find as much information as you can on the Titan Liberation Front, and use it to make their life a living hell.”

Florès smiled. “Of course, Serizawa.”

“Everyone else: get to work. We have to start preparing for the worst.”

-

Alright, Rodan had been back for a while now. He just needed to walk up to him, give him that stupid stone, and walk away. It was simple. A child could do it. Too bad the literal hundreds of nightmare scenarios going through Ni’s head simultaneously prevented him from moving from the rock he was hiding behind.

He took a peak, looking at Rodan. The bird was currently eating a fish, facing away from Ni’s point of view. He also seemed to be struggling with it, for some reason. Ni took a deep breath through his nose to steady himself, before getting up and walking up to him. “Rodan.”

“Gah!” Rodan exclaimed, turning toward Ni, before deflating a bit. “Don’t scare me like that.” He then turned back toward his fish, taking another bite and pulling a face as he did so. “Urgh, rotting flesh is the worst...”

Ni raised an eyebrow. “What do you usually eat?”

“Roots, nuts, insects, fish but prefer when it’s fresh... sometimes, humans would leave me grain in offerings, always a nice surprise.” Rodan answered. “... kind of palled to when they would kill one of their own in front of me as spectacle, but hey.”

“You don’t know what a sacrifice is?” When Rodan shook his head, Ni sat down. “It’s... an gift mortals give to gods by destroying or abandoning something dear, often the life of the sacrificed.”

“... yeah, sounds like something Quetz would’ve liked.” Rodan muttered, before shaking his head. “Don’t they know I’m not a god? I just... live here.”

“You’re bigger than them, at least one element obeys you, and you pretty much decide whether or not this island explodes.” Ni deadpanned. “To them, that’s enough.”

“... Uh.” Rodan took another bite of his fish, cringing as the flesh hit his tongue.

“If you don’t like it, stop eating it.”

“I can’t just stop eating it, I can’t find any other kind of food around here!”

Find food he can eat to get on his good side. Got it. “Why not just absorb energy, then?” Rodan seemed to freeze at that. “Well?”

“... can’t absorb any if I’m not in lava...” He finally muttered. As Ni opened his mouth, he snapped. “And no, I can’t just live the rest of my life in lava. Sure, it’s warm and I don’t risk ever being hurt in it again, but... I’m the only thing it doesn’t burn to the touch. I can’t see. I can’t hear. I can’t talk with anyone. I’m... I’m all alone.” Rodan shook his head. “That’s no way to live, so I try to stay out of it.”

“... San could teach you how to do it.” Ni finally said, Rodan turning toward him with a perplexed expression. “He’s the more spiritual out of the three of us... and he’s better with words than me... since we’re talking about San-” Ni took a hold of Rodan’s wrist, the bird screeching before realizing he was just putting something in his hand. “He found this, and wanted me to give it to you.”

There, it was done.

Ni closely watched Rodan as he reacted to the gift. After a few seconds of watching him, bewildered, he actually looked at the rock on his hand. After a few seconds of confusion, Rodan’s eyes widened, and his face turned a bright orange. “I- uh- erm-” He put the stone down, doing a strange gesture with his hands as he looked away.

Ni frowned at that. He understood, logically, that Rodan’s blood was lava-like from their fight. But why was it coming to his face? Was he overheating for some reason? Was he dying!? Was that why he couldn’t speak!? No no no no no, they needed him alive to get out of here.

Ni picked up Rodan, the bird squawking as he dragged him up. “I- what are you-” He started trashing in his grip as he realized that he was bringing him to the water, clutching at him with both set of claws. “No, NO- DO NOT FUCKING THROW ME INTO THE WATER-”

“You’re overheating, you need to get cooled down-”

“Overheat- I’M THE FIRE GUARDIAN, I CAN’T OVERHEAT!!!” Rodan finally screeched, freeing himself from Ni’s hold.

Ni’s only reaction was to frown. “Then why was your face turning red?”

“I was flustered! That happens!” Rodan exclaimed. “What, have you never seen someone flustered before!?”

“I have not.” Rodan blinked at Ni, before sighing. 

“I’m fine. Your gift just... caught me off-guard.” There was a heavy silence, before Rodan broke it. “Do you have something I could use to wear it, like a thin rope or something?” 

“No... wait.” Ni grabbed a few of his hair, tugging them out and braiding them together in a thin rope. “Hand me the stone, sit down, and turn around.” Rodan quickly followed the instructions, Ni wrapping the cord around the stone to make a necklace. “There we go... What was that thing you did with your hands earlier? He asked as he tied the cord around Rodan’s neck.

“Oh, sign words. I was saying thank you.” He answered. Ni made an inquisitive noise. “Basically, you speak with your hands instead of your mouth. Mothra taught me some time after I became the Fire Guardian because my transformation wasn’t finished and I couldn’t speak. I think the monkeys are the ones who invented it to talk with their worshippers.”

“I see... would you... mind teaching me?” Ni asked, trying to make his voice seem softer.

Rodan blinked, before nodding, turning toward Ni and sitting down. “Alright. Let’s start with the basics...”

[dodgergilmore]

1: Also I would VERY MUCH love to hear more of your thoughts on season 3. It always annoys me to NO END how people who hate them think that fans love them for their season 3 relationship despite the fact that other fans have mentioned numerous times that it's not because they thought their relationship was perfect, but that they didn't get a real chance where both of them were at a better place in their life.

Continued: It's very obvious in the season that their relationship actually DOES work in the sense that they get along when there's no outside pressures in the form of Lorelai/Dean, that they actually like spending time with each other and do dates, but the issue is that we never got enough of that, only the big arguments were placed in the forefront which imo is unfair because it further gives people 'proof' that Dean saying that Jess treats her 'like trash' is true, when in fact it's very much not (also it's just obvious shipper bias how many people, particularly r*gans love focusing on the negative aspects of Lit but just sweep aside all the issues Logan has in seasons 5/6, hell even in season 7 with how he proposed to Rory and then immediately ended their long term relationship when she couldn't say yes to him). It's also more than justified for fans to be intrigued of the possibility of older Lit when both Jess and Rory have their own lives that are more separate from the influence of Stars Hollow/Jess's turbulent past, because not only is Jess more mature, more open and just more stable and sure of himself, Rory now has to make decisions for herself and not based off of what Lorelai or anyone else says for her to do. And, although I'm in the minority with this opinion, even though Rory's writing in AYITL was awful in terms of fleshing out how and just why she is at this state, without allowing people to be more sympathetic, I'm not gonna suddenly go against her being with Jess simply because people think he 'pined' for her all these years when it's clear that he's not holding his life back for her, but merely in his own way, will always love her. And what I mentioned about her and Jess finally having a relationship that isn't influenced by anyone outside of it still stands for this, especially when Rory's gotta put her life back together now and Jess would imo offer support, the same way she tried to do it when he was younger and unsure of his capabilities. But yeah even discrediting AYITL, an adult relationship between them would truly be a positive thing

Okay I’ve had my morning coffee so I am ready + this is definitely going to warrant a read more!

Exactly!! I have never seen anyone claim their season 3 relationship was great. We don’t get to see them just be happy and hanging out together – even though we’re explicitly told they’re together often – unless it’s to set up conflict and I think a big part of that comes from the fact that Milo was already being written out of the show before the characters even got together.

They’ve always liked just spending time together and I love how that ends up being a constant thread throughout their relationship, be it in a romantic context or not, with season 4 being an obvious exception but at that point they were still confronting the completely unresolved ending to their relationship. But anyway, getting back to season 3...

Let me just repeat myself here: Dean cast a looming shadow over the entirety of the Rory and Jess relationship in season 3. That’s not to say that they would have been together forever if Dean hadn’t been there because I think it was inevitable for their paths to diverge (and eventually come back together!) – of course it would have been nice for them to grow together but in terms of canon, I actually like that they got to experience life independent of each other. However, Dean’s presence definitely exacerbated the issues in the Rory and Jess relationship. (I don’t mean to frame this in a way that everything wrong with Rory and Jess’ relationship has to do with Dean, I’m just examining the ways in which his role in the narrative had an influence on their relationship)

The Dean/Rory/Jess love triangle had been building up for almost a year by the time we get to 3x07 so we as viewers are ready for it to culminate in a big, dramatic, exciting way and it certainly delivers in that regard because it made for good television but it’s a shaky starting point for Rory and Jess. Before Rory even has time to cry to her mother, or even just tell her mother about the breakup with Dean, she’s already swept up in a new relationship. For that reason, an interesting “what-if” to consider is what if Dean had ended the relationship once he realised she liked Jess in 2x18? But that doesn’t happen, so from this point on Rory slowly becomes aware of her growing feelings for Jess while still being in a relationship with Dean and she feels guilty, obviously! Once she’s with Jess, she feels like she has to make things right with Dean. On top of that, Rory was always being told by the town and her mother about how Dean was the perfect boyfriend and, oh, she was so lucky to have him as her first boyfriend! Regardless of how false that whole narrative rings to me as a viewer, this puts Rory in a position where she is always comparing Jess to Dean; by Rory’s own admission in 3x09 she says she feels like the town is watching them and she’s right, they are watching! There is this pressure put on her to have her life perfectly together, which is an impossible and even damaging standard to be placing onto any teenager. At this point, Lorelai is still heavily involved in Rory’s romantic life but because Lorelai plays friend more often than mother, she has always made her stance on Jess very clear and consequently, Rory doesn’t feel she can talk openly to her mother when she has issues with Jess and this is unfamiliar territory for Rory. In the first episode with Rory and Jess together, Lorelai is already saying things like, “But I never expected you to be with Dean forever, just like I don’t expect you to be with Jess forever.” As much as she says she’s supportive, Rory never actually feels her support. For these reasons, we don’t get to see much of Rory addressing or confronting her relationship with Jess throughout season 4 – we see her play it cool or “stoic” with Lorelai and the townies but we see it’s an act to some extent when talking with Lane in 4x22 or with Jess – “I have actually thought about this moment. A lot.” that whole speech she gives feels like it’s been something she’s been holding onto for a while and never been able to vocalise. Back to season 3: Rory feels she has to hide things from Jess like she did with Dean because she was always trying to avoid a fight with him (which is.....☹️), failing to realise that Jess is not Dean, and thus begins the miscommunication problems throughout their relationship. All of this to say... Rory has no other point of reference for relationships, so I understand where she is coming from during season 3!

Now for Jess we go back to the 3x07 for a moment: obviously this is all open to interpretation but he looks very surprised and also somewhat guilty during the very public Dean and Rory breakup, which I take to mean... he never wanted it to happen, nor expected it to happen, like this. Jess is very aware of how the town and everyone in it views him in comparison to Dean; there’s an insecurity there for Jess “She picked you.” / “God knows why.” because she never actually did choose him and he doesn’t particularly like himself very much at this point. Which brings me to the point that Jess was simply not in a place to be in a relationship – his communication issues were there before he ever got into a relationship with Rory because it’s easier to not deal with things and allow people to have a low opinion of you so that you don’t disappoint them. He really thought the dinner with Emily would be a one and done thing, which highlights both his inexperience with relationships but also his misconception that this relationship could be just him and Rory, see also: “I don't wanna talk to anybody else. I don't like anybody else.” As much as he may love Rory and Luke, they can’t be Jess’ sole support system and he has a lot of personal growing to do. If we are to assume Jimmy was always going to show up in late season 3, I think that’s something that Jess was always going to want to see through. He definitely makes efforts to do better, particularly after 3x15 (there is no way he or Luke didn’t hear that voicemail...) is when we actually see them at their most chill as they’re having movie nights, they’re talking about Rory’s future at Yale, Lane is supportive, Jess is ready to go to prom without complaints, etc. He went after Rory once she leaves the bedroom in 3x19 but the moment he sees Dean, he gives up and we’re back to the looming shadow that is Dean. Without that shadow, I think they could have at least ended things on better terms.

Rory saying, “I don’t want to deal with this.” after seeing Jess in his car in 4x12 really is a good summation of their romantic relationship lmao 🙃

That proposal really was so.........yikes!!

Yeah, I have never gotten the impression that Jess has been pining after Rory all these years. I remember coming onto the internet after watching AYITL and being so confused by how heated people were with regard to that parting look in Fall. From everything we saw – which was very little, admittedly – Jess seems very content with his life and in a place of stability, continuing to mature and better himself since the last time we saw him. For what it’s worth, my interpretation of The Window Look(tm) is that Jess meant it when he told Luke that he was over Rory, and it’s not something he had been consciously thinking about until he went to the window and was like, “Hm..........” and the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in so many years before Summer is actually kind of... reassuring to me? I guess in my mind, once they become consistent figures in each other’s lives then it becomes more difficult to understand why they aren’t together because it would progress into more. “What’s it been, four years?” / “Maybe more?” does not have to set their futures in stone, leaving no room for development.

I’ve probably said it before but the whole story of first, it was Rory offering Jess support when he was sorting himself out and lacking the stability for a relationship; then it’s Jess offering Rory support when she is sorting out her life and lacking stability is just a very compelling story for me! The parallels! The star-crossed aspect of it all! I would like to see it dot gif

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 7  Escape From the Bulb Creeps

Journey to the Past

We are fresh on the heels of the deaths of both Lapin and Peppermint Preston (Reeces in Pieces) but there’s no time to mourn because the remaining 5 PCs (Zac is absent all episode) are all fugitives of both church and state. With everyone stunned and out of sorts, Jet takes the lead and begins running towards the alleyway she banished Thad to several episodes ago on a goof turned escape plan. And none of the adults have a better plan so they follow her without argument or question. Ruby sends Yak up to help scout and, as they’re running, each of the group have flashbacks to simpler times:

Ruby: Ruby sees herself practicing acrobatics on the castle walls having just seen the Swirler Sisters perform. Her mom makes her come down and scolds her for not taking her princess duties seriously. Royal life is hard enough without her making it harder with her flights of fancy and she should be training to be ready for it.

Amethar: Amethar sees himself at the Stone Candy Mountain mid-war with his four sisters who have just got the news that he married Katherine Ghee--his dairy wife we learned about 2 eps ago. His oldest sister--General Rococoa--is livid about the shortsightedness and political implications of him marrying a commoner. St. Citrina, the third sister, comforts Amethar and says that if he really loves her, the marriage should stand. The youngest sister, Princess Sapphria, is chill about the whole thing and thinks (1) it won’t matter since he’s so far down in the line of succession and (2) he should have a good time if he wants to. Something ~crazy~ would have to happen for Amethar to ever get the throne so it would be *stupid* to waste time worrying about. (Thousand yard stare.) Lazuli shows up and is very fuzzy on where in the timeline they are--showing her background as a divination wizard--before congratulating Amethar on his marriage. Rococoa wants the marriage annulled and Citrina says that, for that to happen, Amethar and Katherine would need to be in the same place with the priest who performed the ceremony--Father Belford. They can take care of it after the war if Amethar wants. In the meantime, they tell their dad *nothing*.

Liam: It’s Liam’s 14th b-day and he’s still living with his dad (Joren Jawbreaker) and his mom (Spearia Mentha--a cool Vegetanian hippie woman) and his 35 other moms and dads (polygamy is big in the Sweetening Path apparently). His dad shows up and has trouble remembering his name but does present him Preston as a pet which he’s pretty stoked about. Afterwards, he meets up with his mom who says that his entire extended family talked about his going to Castle Candy as a ward/political prisoner and have decided that he can, but that he should be careful. The outside world isn’t as accepting of other spirits and ideas. Back in the present, Liam feels something dark inside him grow with the loss of Preston. Ice creeps up on his crossbow and his magic changes (mechanically speaking, he has gone from a Beastmaster to a Gloomstalker Ranger).

Theo: It’s Theo’s first day on the job as Lazuli’s ward and, after getting some business done (including a short conversation with a cotton candy monk who seemed suspiciously fleshed out to just be a random NPC) she turns to him and asks his opinion on non-sanctioned magic. Theo (who insists on addressing her by all of her titles) says that magic has never been his thing. He doesn’t have the mind for it. Lazuli takes issue with that assertion and Theo is forced to consider that he might be limiting himself for no reason. Lazuli says that she’s realizing that magic is a lot bigger and unknowable than conventional wisdom suggests and then Theo runs off to fetch her more parchment.    

Jet: Jet is 14 and practicing fencing with Calroy. He gets the point with a fencing dagger (which is apparently a thing, confirmed by my one friend who fences) before they ease into a conversation about politics. Calroy asks her if she sees herself challenging convention and we all know Who Jet Is As a Person so her answer (big yes) isn’t surprising. What’s slightly more surprising is that Calroy candidly agrees with her that change is good and needed. A lot of people would love change but most of them aren’t situated in such a way that they have the power to bring about any. Calroy says he looks forward to her reign and they continue sparring. 

Back to Reality 

In the present, church bells toll behind them and Ruby feels a piece of paper fly out from her pocket--it’s the “For Candia” note from Lapin. She grabs it with her Mage Hand and just feels like the worst person on the planet for being mean to Lapin all these years and then watching him give his life for them. He presented as boring and lame but he was a good man. 

They all reach the delirious Thad (he’s been in this alley since episode 3) who Jet flirts with to try and get his carriage but Liam circumvents that by getting a Nat 20 to fully knock the dude out. The servants with him flip out but Jet threatens them into running away and, before they can get very far, Ruby casts Sleep on them which drops them. Then, she casts Disguise Self and Prestidigitation so she looks and smells like Thad (we’re also blessed by Siobhan’s ridiculous French accent) and goes out to Thad’s carriage with Jet on her arm, lying to the servants there that Jet has been knocked up and they have to have a shotgun wedding. Her deception check succeeds and the footman declares, “To the cathedral!” NO. Beach wedding! It’s a beach wedding! They all pile into the back of the carriage--Ruby up front since she’s pretending to be Thad--and head out.

While they ride, Liam unsuccessfully tries to cry quietly and Theo eulogizes Lapin and says that what happened to him was no one’s fault. Jet asks Amethar if he had a death wish back in the Cathedral and Amethar, not in so many words, admits that he did. Yak comes back down from scouting and relays that the Glucian Road (the way back to Candia that they came) is about to be absolutely crawling with imperial soldiers. And cutting through Fructerra to the north (the shortest route) is also bad because that’s Plumbeline’s territory and she’s already proven herself untrustworthy. That leaves the “safest” options Brightgarden (basically the Vatican City of this world so not really a place they wanna be right now) and towards the Harbor. 

Everyone takes another minute to have a full breakdown--especially Liam who is coming to terms with the fact that he’s gonna have to be a war guy now--and Brennan rolls death saves for Thad (he lives) before they get back to business. If they want to go to the Great Stone Candy Mountain (Where Joren Jawbreaker is), going by sea is faster. Ruby points out that they’ll have to go into the territory of Cordeau (aka, Lord Bleu--the suspicious cheese dude Primsy is lowkey courting) if they go by sea but Theo points out that they’re F’d no matter where they go so they lock in the plan. 

A Fun Boat Ride

Once they get to the docks, Brennan points out that none of them have sailing proficiency (Emily: I have tarot cards) so if they just grab a ship with no crew, they’re for sure gonna die. They’d previously asked Calroy to ready a ship for them but they have no idea if that happened and they don’t have a way to ask him. The only ship they recognize in the harbor is The Colby--Annabelle’s ship. And, what do you know? She’s on the ship at that very moment, officiating a wedding for Primsy and Lord Bleu. The dude works fast.      

Theo sees that they’re casting off soon and also that Morris Brie is walking around all agitated and worried--looking for Manta Ray Jack they guess. Liam casts Pass Without Trace and Amethar gets a Nat 20 to open one of the cargo crates they’re going to load onto the ship so they can hide inside (leaving Yak and Sprinkle outside to be their eyes). While they’re in there, they hear Primsy and Bleu talking and learn that he’s gonna be following behind in his own ship (since he’s captain) and they’ll meet back in Lacramor. We also learn later that his ship is called the Dairy Heir because Brennan was put on this earth to test me.

Ruby hears that Morris Brie is still walking around all worried and decides to Message him in Lacra. “Manta Ray is Captured. The House of Rocks has Fallen. All is Lost. Help.” She calls herself a friend and, on a 20 Persuasion, Brie thinks she’s a spirit. She tells him where Jack is and calls him a good man when he agrees to check.

Brennan rolls for an unspecified thing in front of the board--saying they need an 11 or higher and want a 15--and gets a 12. 

The ship is held for a while, long enough that they’re loaded into the cargo hold, and Brennan narrates everything that happens from the eyes of Yak and Sprinkle (bending the rules a bit so everyone gets the benefit of knowing how Ruby’s clutch move played out):

Annabelle is agitated, waiting for Brie and Manta Ray so they can ship off. A messenger comes to her with the information that the Emperor is dead, Candia is at war with the Concord, and Amethar has been excommunicated. Primsy, who is technically in charge, reacts exactly how any sane 16 y/o would--she has absolutely no idea what to do. Another messenger shows up with a bloody letter (and, sidenote, I need Brennan to stop cursing us with detailed info on how various food people bleed. It’s extremely unsettling) from Brie which she reads and before deciding to ship off immediately. 

The Candians decide to stay hidden for an hour which is good because 30 mins later, the ship is stopped and boarded by imperials (lead by Grissini). They check the barrels but not the crates because no one would be able to open them. Well, no one except Amethar on a Nat 20. They’re not found and the imperials leave.

After the hour is up, Ruby can see through Yak that there aren’t any ships except for the dairy ones escorting Primsy back home and there are only about 12 people on the Colby. There’s a long discussion about the best strategy--Should they go up or call someone down? Should they talk to Primsy or Annabelle? Should Jet volunteer as a hostage?--before Ruby makes an executive decision and decides to Message Primsy.

“Primsy, I invoke the friendship of House Rocks and House Lacra.”

On a 20 persuasion check, Primsy, like Brie, thinks she’s a fairy or a spirit, which she is childishly excited about. Ruby says that if she comes to the hold, she’ll show her a secret and Primsy, who has apparently never seen a horror movie before in her life, comes right down. To her credit, she does ask if she can bring Annabelle, but Ruby says no. But that doesn’t deter her. Once she’s down there, Theo, who also has the Message cantrip, says, “Don’t scream, no matter what you see,” which is absolutely the worst thing he could have said and, on a 3 Persuasion--plus Amethar bursting out of the crate to try to show her she’s among friends, Primsy has the correct reaction which is to scream bloody murder, calling down basically everyone, including Annabelle.

Everyone throws down their weapons (Jet just stows hers in her back pockets) and Liam tries to hide but gets a Nat 1. Annabelle is, of course, furious that they’d stow away while fugitives, endangering them all but Ruby is able to slightly charm her (non-magically) and she reveals that the letter she received before says that Brie rescued Manta Ray and they’re hiding in Comida. Ruby is relieved her plan worked and, when Annabelle scoffs at her for taking credit for the work of the spirits, hits her with a Message to prove her abilities. Annabelle seems taken aback that, even while wanted fugitives of basically the entire world, Ruby would take any of her precious time to help Manta Ray. “[He’s] a good man,” Ruby responds, as if the decision took no thought at all. Primsy comforts Liam as he breaks down over the loss of Lapin and Preston again.

Brennan has everyone do a group persuasion check where only one of them cracks a 15. Annabelle and Co. are really in a terrible position here. These are their allies but they’re also being hunted right now and the Dairy Islands really cannot afford to be at war with the Concord. Helping them would be tantamount to a declaration of war. “Please don’t make us make you,” Ruby says. Annabelle scoffs that even if they kill her, either her crew would kill them or they’d kill the crew then die at sea. Ruby apologizes for the empty threat and says she’s just scared. 

Annabelle decides that they can’t help them but they also don’t have to fight them. They’ll take them to Lacramor as prisoners and then assemble a council to figure out what to do with them. In the meantime, they’ll be clothed and fed and brought to a room without chains. The Candians, who don’t really have a ton of options here, agree. 

Sacre Bleu

Soon after they’re situated (they get a short rest here), Primsy invites them to the Captain’s Quarters (which she shares with Annabelle) for tea. She doesn’t allow herself to say anything that would jeopardize her country’s position, but she seems very much on their side and confident this will be sorted out once they land and the council discusses it. She’s also excited for them to meet Lord Bleu, which they’re...less enthused about.

Ruby tries to get it into her head that she’s a strong, independent woman who doesn’t have to just do whatever he says--or even what Annabelle says--but it seems that Bleu has gotten to her first because Primsy says that he tells her that too and that he’s right about everything. Theo asks if he has any enemies in his house and she says no, confused about why he would ask. Jet decides to fully let the cat out of the bag and says that someone from Bleu’s house attacked them. Primsy, with shockingly little genre savviness, says that there have been a lot of deaths in Bleu’s family to get him to the place in the line of succession that he is and that they did get a letter from Plumbeline saying that Amethar would probably be named successor but if not him then it would probably be her. And if anything happens to her, guess who’s suddenly in charge? None other than Lord Consort Cheddar, aka Bleu. Theo tries to tell Primsy to watch her back but, on a 2 Charisma check, he just pisses off yet another House Cheddar lady and Primsy leaves for the Crow’s Nest to catch a glimpse of her new husband on his ship. On a Nat 20, Jet stealths behind her to protect her.

Liam goes to find Annabelle to try and convince her to drop them off at the Candy Mountain instead of Lacramor. He starts well with a compliment (“Your haircut looks fresh”) before trying to pimp out his harem of parents in exchange for the ride and rolling a 4 Persuasion. Liam submits to the slap he knows is coming--but it misses due to Ruby’s Hex giving her disadvantage and making her take her Nat 1 instead of her Nat 20. As she stumbles forward, she notices something in the distance and walks off to check on it, Liam following behind her. 

Brennan has Murph make three mystery luck checks in the box of doom because he is the enemy and Murph rolls a 7, 16, and a 14. For Murph, pretty good!

They’re just about at the Yogurt Shoals (Bleu territory, you’ll remember) and they notice that all the other ships except for the two house Bleu ones have veered off in another direction. 

It starts to rain milk (Brennan seems to indicate that’s what the 7 roll was) and Annabelle yells at Primsy to come down from the crow’s nest. Primsy notices that the other ships are gone right as arrows start to fire from the Bleu ships to hers. Jet, at once, shields Primsy from the barrage. 

Annabelle tries to get them out of there in a hurry but finds the sails are damaged and the House Bleu ships sidle up along the Colby and pull a Ben-Hur, tearing up the sides of the ship until it begins to sink. Everyone roll initiative!

Also, it’s Zac’s Birthday. 

Happy Birthday Zac.    

Medal of Honor

Gotta give out our first double medal of honor this episode, fittingly, to the twins who were on fire this whole episode. 

At the top of the episode when no one else knew what to do, Jet took the reins and picked a plan and everyone else was swayed by her force of will and didn’t even ask any questions. And then later, when Theo fumbled his diplomacy, she again acted on impulse and put herself in the perfect position to protect Primsy.

And then Ruby--in the talkback, they said they were talking about “Ruby’s Big Day” which was great because so was I in my head. Taking her magic--the very thing that put her in so much danger--and turning it to their greatest asset with the clutch disguise and then using the hell out of the Message Cantrip? Lapin has been dead for less than a day and she’ll already taken the position of party Face.

Very Galaxy Brained moves from our girls this ep.

Sunny Side Up

The immediacy of the “Do you think she’s gonna get off?” response from Ally was like they’d been waiting their entire life to make that specific joke. 

Also on the topic of Ally just literally saying anything, watching everyone break as Liam described the game “Stairs” was an experience. And Brennan having to react to that as a parent and acknowledge it was full abuse gave me shades of Kristen talking about all the cult literature in her family’s house that Brennan was hearing about for the first time in that moment. 

The whole sequence in the alley with Thad was such a perfect moment of catharsis after the heaviness of everything else. That, “Point with my hand or?” Siobhan’s French accent. Liam hitting a Nat 20 to knock Thad TF out. Everyone coming up with plans on the spot on top of each other and the big, “NO!” after Brennan’s, “To the cathedral!” The rubberband needed to snap back to comedy for a bit after last week and all those flashbacks and they did it perfectly here.

Jet already having a “Bastard Jet” tattoo and Murph improvising that she made him do it with a cantrip.  

“Advantage for boldness and disadvantage for madness.”

Things I’m Concerned About

Short list this week because the answer is basically “everything”.

Brennan. Brennan, if anything happens to Primsy...I know that this is all pre-recorded and whatever happened already happened but if Primsy is hurt in any way...Brennan…

Very interesting that the Pontifex OK’d the wedding of Primsy and Bleu basically immediately while all manner of insanity was going on but couldn’t find the time to get the emperor paperwork filled out. And by interesting I mean she’s a snake. 

A big ocean battle after only a short rest? With no healer? Don’t care for that one bit. 

I would not want to be Katherine Ghee right now. Idk what she’s doing but if she’s alive and well, I have to assume her life is about to be filled with BS.

Liam’s rage (which he talked to Amethar about) seems like the kind of thing that becomes a problem either for poor decision making reasons or literal communing with evil spirits reasons. So I’m for sure monitoring that situation, just in case.  

Understandably, the gang wasn’t able to go for their allies this episode, but that puts them in a BAD position to put it mildly. If Calroy did ready that ship, it’s possible that at least some of the rest of the Candians will be able to get out once they hear the news. Fingers crossed for those guys but it would be a fittingly brutal story move if all the fun, tutorial level NPCs just get executed now that we’ve left the starting area (which already was pretty brutal to be sure). 

Five More Things

It took me saying the episode title out loud while writing this recap to understand that it was a Bloodkeep reference. I was like, what a weird thing to call an ep. It doesn’t fit the titling conventions for this show at all.

Loved getting to see Amethar with all his sisters, even with the ouchiness of knowing how that all panned out. I especially liked Citrina as a foil for the Pontifex. If the Bulb is nothing but raw power divorced from morality then it’s nice to see someone who has a connection to that power using it in the name of love.

Theo continuing to use everyone's titles even after all that happened is so true to character. Also: “Call me Bastard Jet.”/”As you wish, your highness.”

Zac’s character didn’t show up this ep so I’m very curious when it’s gonna happen. It could happen in the battle ep--some rando helping you mid life or death battle would give very wary people a reason to trust a stranger--but it seems more plausible it would happen next story ep. I wonder if that cotton candy monk mentioned is gonna be his next character. I wonder if it’s gonna be a candy person at all. 

Listening to Ruby and Theo talk about how mean they were to Lapin and how guilty they felt about it was A Lot. Like, we only had him for 6 episodes but they have an entire lifetime of history with the dude and Murph and Siobhan really made that hit home in their tiny moments. It was A Lot.

Also! This has nothing to do with Crown of Candy and it’s circulated a bunch already, deservedly so, but I wanna shout out this hilarious Fantasy High animatic by @morikorii. Super happy we’re starting to get kickass animatics for D20 stuff from crazy talented artists. 

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Meet me in the past part 5

A/N: This is part five to: ‘meet me in the past’. This absolutely suck, but I thought you know what I’m not changing it again, so you know, here you go. I hope you still enjoy regardless. Please let me know what you think!

Summary: After Stanley Uris takes his own life, his daughter goes to find the recipients of his letters and ends up in Derry. After an encounter with IT, she ends up traveling back into the past, meeting the younger version of her dad and his friends.

warnings: cursing, mentions of suicide and some really rude words of Pennywise

tagging; @artlovingbre​ @cocastyle

Stan stared at Emily as she ran away, but he didn’t respond. He felt the world slip away from under his feet. Who the hell did this girl think she was? He turned his gaze towards Richie, who’s eyes were widened and looked even bigger now then they already did on regular days. Richie was his best friend, even though Stan couldn’t stand him sometimes, and so he looked at him for something, a conformation that whatever happened just then really happened, and it wasn’t all in Stan’s head. Richie however did nothing but stare, as if he himself couldn’t quite figure out what this entire day had been about. However, Richie knew Stan like the back of his hand, so he knew exactly what to do when he saw the look in Stan’s eyes, deflect.

‘I Wonder when she got dropped on her head one to many times am I right boys?’ Richie joked, adjusting the glasses, and trying desperately to lift the dark mood that feel upon the group.

‘Not now Richie’, Bev interjected, her mouth set into a thin line. Stan turned his gaze towards her then, after scanning the entire group. Out of all of them, she seemed the least confused, instead she looked thoughtful, as if still deciding how to approach this situation best.

‘Why not Beverly?’ Stan asked, his face sour. ‘He’s right, what the hell is she even talking about? I’m her father? I’m fucking thirteen.’

It seemed that their previous argument about IT was forgotten, instead everyone was looking at Stan, gauging his reaction. Richie opened his mouth to try and make another joke, but a sharp look from Bev shut him up.

‘Wait,’ Stan said, ‘why aren’t you surprised? Did you know about this? About whatever delusion she is dealing with?’ Stan looked at Beverly, but Beverly was pointedly not looking at him.

‘Are you kidding me? How long?’ Stan’s voice raised in hysteria, his arms waving around wildly.

‘Stan,’ Bev started, and her voice was shaking.

‘How long’, Stan asked again. His voice dropped down to a threatening tone, and Beverly shivered despite herself. Stan would never ever lay a finger on her she knew, but he was furious, and it sucked that Beverly was the target of his anger.

‘She told me last week okay, after you made those stupid jokes and we spend some time alone together. Look Stan I’m sorry, but she made me promise not to tell you. Besides it’s not like you believe her. Look at you, you look like you’re about to punch something or someone.’

‘That’s because I thought you were my friend Bev. I can’t believe you could hear something so absurd and still not tell me.’ Stan said, still visibly angry, though he was starting to calm down a bit. He was very observant, and rational, and he was starting to realize that getting mad at Beverly wasn’t going to solve anything.

‘What if she’s Pennywise who has been stalking us? What if this is just another one of his ploys?’ Stan uttered, his hands now desperately scrubbing at his pants, trying to get the non-existent crinkles away. He always did this when he was nervous, and it was his tell tale when he was lying too.

‘T-t-that doesn’t m-m-make any s-s-sense S-s-stan. W-w-why k-k-keep up the c-c-charades for s-s-so long?’ Bill inquired.

‘Are you saying you believe her Billiam’, Richie questioned, ‘cause if so that would mean Stan the man had sex and I don’t think Stan over here would just pop his cherry for anyone,’ Richie quipped, and while doing so he swung his arm around Stan’s shoulders.

‘Beep beep Richie’, Stan snapped back, though he didn’t push Richie’s arm away.

‘Bev what do you believe’? Mike asked, taking a step towards the group. Bev sighed.

‘Look, I admit that I was skeptical in the beginning too. But just look at what happened to us today. We got attacked by a demonic clown that lives in the sewers. Nothing about this is normal okay? And Emily she told me stuff, and you know how good I am at telling when people are lying, and I sincerely think that she was telling the truth. So yes, I believe her.’

‘Just because she believes that it’s true, doesn’t mean it is Beverly’, Stan grumbled.

‘Don’t call Bev a liar’, Ben interrupted, as always coming to Bev’s rescue. It would be endearing to Stan if he wasn’t so fucking irritated.

‘Why is everyone acting like what Emily just said is totally normal? Am I the only one who understands how crazy this is?’ Stan asked again. He looked towards Richie, who shrugged in response.

‘Fine’, he spat out, walking towards his bike and grabbing it with a huff.

‘Stan, where are you going?’ Richie shout out. The rest of the losers shuffled forward their bikes as well, like they were anticipating something bad to happen.

‘I’m going to find her. If you all believe her than fine, she has some explaining to do. I want to know where her delusions come from.’

He swung one leg over his bike, already pushing his feet, gaining speed before abruptly stopping at Bill’s voice.

‘S-S-Stan stop’, Bill said, and Stan did. All of the losers would if they were in Stan’s place. Bill didn’t even have to raise his voice. Whatever Bill said, goes. He had a curtain authority about him, and the losers without question followed him.

‘Y-y-you can’t j-j-just g-g-go at h-h-her Stan. Y-y-y-you need t-t-to calm d-d-down first. It’s n-n-no use i-i-if y-your just g-g-gonna yell a-at her.

Stan turned around slowly. The other losers watched on without saying a word, to see what Stan would do.

‘I’m calm, I’m not going to yell at her Bill,’ which as obviously a lie, Stan looked everything but calm. If anything, he looked mostly anxious.

Still though, Bill nodded solemnly, going to his own bike.

‘Don’t yell at her Stan, she’s been through a lot already’, Bev spoke, and as she and Stan made eye contact her eyes flickered downwards.

‘You know something, don’t you?’ Stan inquired.

Bev shook her head, but didn’t respond as she wheeled her bike closer Bill’s.

‘You do, else you wouldn’t have said that. What did she tell you?’

‘I thought you didn’t believe her’, Bev countered, but because she did, Stan knew for a fact that she was lying now.

‘I don’t, but I want to know what she said about me, about us.’ Stan declared. He didn’t understand why Bev wouldn’t just tell him, unless.. ‘it was something bad wasn’t it?’

‘Stan, talk to her, please. Just ask her, I’m not the person you should discuss this with,’ Bev insisted.

Stan stared at her for a few more seconds, before taking off without looking backwards. He was sure the other losers would follow.

He wasn’t sure where Emily could have gone, but he had a bike and she was walking, so he assumed that would see her walking among the sidewalk somewhere, but he didn’t.

He kept riding, Bill catching up to him fast. As always, silver was faster than anyone or anything could possibly be. He looked around street after street, hoping that she had kept going straight forward, towards the park.

Bev mentioned going to look for her at her apartment, but the losers realized that that was a long shot. She was never inside Bev’s apartment alone when he father was coming home, which around the time it was now. So they kept up on their way, riding until they saw the beginning of the park. Stan’s mind was racing a thousand miles a minute. The days events were catching up too him, and he felt exhausted. He was nearly killed, saw a killer clown, had to watch one of his best friends be dragged away by his mom, and to top it all off, his other friend claimed to be his daughter.

As they came closer, they saw that the jacket Emily had been wearing was draped over a bench. There were barely people there, only a little old lady who was walking her dog, but she was just about to leave.

They stopped at the entrance, Stan putting his bike away nicely on the side, while the rest of the losers dropped theirs down on the ground without a second thought. Stan rolled his eyes, how silver was still going after all the reckless things Bill had done with it.

‘W-w-we should s-s-split u-u-up’, Bill declared, looking around the group for conformation.

‘Are you kidding me? Splitting up would be dumb Big Bill, Eddie broke his arm today. If we split up we’re basically clown food.’ Richie said.

‘Well, Emily is not going to show herself if we’re all in group, I think Bill’s right. We have more chance to find her if we split up,’ Mike agreed.

‘Fine’, Richie huffed out, but he looked to Stan, as if to see if Stan would agree before doing anything. Stan too nodded; ‘they’re right, Rich’. And so the losers split up. The park itself wasn’t all that big, and most of it was an open space, but there were a handful of places that Emily could have hidden, so the losers elected to search for her there.

Stan walked towards the eastside of the park, before he heard a whisper of his name, so close by that it was as if someone has whispered it right beside him. He turned quickly with a gasp, but saw no one behind him, so he kept walking. Not even a second later he heard the sound again, but when he turned once more there was nobody. He’s gaze was pulled towards the trees towards the west side of the park, for no particular reason. The trees didn’t look any different, yet Stan still felt compelled to change his path. He heard his friends call out towards Emily, but he paid no attention to them. He didn’t know why he was walking towards the closed area, but it was like he didn’t have any control of his legs anymore. His own voice called out, ‘Emily’, but he barely noticed it, even if it was his own voice.

When he reached the tree, he looked back towards his friends, but a giant tree was in the way, and he couldn’t see his friends anymore, and he was sure they couldn’t see him anymore. Suddenly, it felt like Stan’s brain shot in action again. He realized that he had just walked away from the losers, causing him to be alone and vulnerable. Panic gripped around his heart like a vice, causing his breathing to speed up.

He had just made the decision to go back towards the open field, when he heard a small; ‘help’, coming from deeper in the woods. He was torn between going to get the others, or finding the person that called for help as fast as possible. Even if it was Emily, he didn’t want anything to happen to the girl. A loud ‘help’, called out but it sounded closer somehow, as if the person was teetering closer. Stan stepped forward against his common sense just a few steps, trying to find the person in danger.

The person screamed loud appearing in front of Stan behind a bush, scaring him half to death. In a panic Stan threw himself backwards, stumbling over a tree trunk and tottering to the ground. Stan scrambled back up fast, wincing at the dirt that was on his clothes, before looking up to who was in front of him. It was a little girl, her hair in pony tales, with a blue dress and black sneakers, crying and reaching out for him. Stan cringed, really didn’t like strangers, but he felt bad for this little girl, so he reached his arms out and lifted her up. ‘Are you okay’? He asked her, trying to keep his voice light. The little girl sniffled in his arms, ‘where did you go daddy? I need you, the evil clown took me.’ Stan froze, he instantly dropped the little girl, not thinking about his wellbeing at all. He stepped backwards, until his back hit a tree. The little girl was still sniffing, but it seemed like a grin was taking over her features.

Stan looked into her eyes and with a gasp, he saw his own eyes reflected there. He shook his head angrily, he wasn’t going to let Pennywise in his head. He was just taking advantage of Emily’s statement, but Stan couldn’t shake the feeling of dread away. He continued to stare at the little girl, trying to call out to his friends, but only a wheezing as his throat closed up.

‘Daddy, I missed you. Why don’t you love me? Do you hate me?’ The little girl took another few steps towards Stan. It seemed that all logic flew out the window, as Stan tried to disappear into the tree instead of just running around it.

The little girl changed appearance, and suddenly Emily stood before him. It was clear that the little girl had also been Emily, only younger. ‘Because I hate you too daddy,’ Stan cringed at the words, ‘when you killed yourself, I was so mad. You never really loved me did you daddy? You’re a coward. IT should have picked you off when it had the change, it’s not like anything was gained from your life. You caused me and mom so much pain, I wish you had left when I was little, then you wouldn’t have hurt me or mom.’

Stan’s face paled, all the color draining from his cheeks. His hands were trembling as they wiped down his pants. ‘You’re lying’, Stan’s uttered, his voice sounding shaky even to himself.

‘You’ll never be anything, you should just kill yourself now, save you a lot of trouble.’ IT Emily leaned in close to Stan, changing back into the clown that had broken Eddie’s arm mere hours ago. ‘You couldn’t keep her away from me in 27 years, and you couldn’t keep me from her now.’ IT whispered into Stan’s ear, who could do nothing but let out a pity full whimper. What was Ben taking so long? As if Ben heard his thoughts, Ben walked into Stan’s line of sight. Ben screamed as he saw IT hunched over Stan, alerting the others of IT’s presence.

IT vanished as fast as he had come, IT’s hands falling from Stan’s neck. Stan fell to the ground, his breath coming in gasps, Ben ran to him, and he could hear Bev, Richie, Mike and Bill running towards them too. Ben pulled Stan towards his chest as he started sobbing.

‘Stan, Stan are you okay?’ Bev asked him placing a hand on his shoulder.

 ‘IT’, Stan rasped. He looked up to see his friends looking at him confused. ‘IT has her.’

[prettyboyspenceee]

Chapter 5 - The Letter and The Kiss

 A/N: I wrote this chapter in one sitting. I am TIRED. I’m sorry I took so long to post it! 

Description: The team heads back to New York for a case that hits Olivia close to home.  

Character Appearances: Olivia Morales, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ” Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Penelope Garcia, Derek Morgan, Matthew Morales 

Disclaimer: I don’t own Criminal Minds! Kinda sucks for me :(

Word Count: 2,232 words

Posted: November 30th, 2019

---

The plane ride back to New York was uncharacteristically silent. As the team went through case files, Olivia went through countless amounts of photos of her and Jamie. 

She smiled at her phone as she admired a photo of them in their teenage years, "It gets better y'know." 

Olivia smiled at JJ, "I know." 

"It doesn't get easier, though," The blonde said as she sat down beside her friend. 

"I know."

Olivia felt the team's eyes on the back of her neck, "I'm okay," she said as she turned to her coworkers. 

"Livvy, please, use this case to go home," Emily pleaded. 

"No, this is our job. I'm working regardless if the victim is Jamie or not." 

"Garcia's on the line," Rossi said, interrupting the brewing argument between the two friends.

The team turned to the computer as Garcia's face appeared on the screen, "Hey guys," her usual chipper tone was lost from her voice as she knew how close the case hit home, "NYPD just found another body, they're requesting you on the scene." 

"Where, Baby Girl?" Derek asked in attempts to cheer her up. 

"Upper West Side. I'm sending you all the address now." 

"Thanks, Garcia," Olivia said. 

Penelope flashed a small smile at Olivia. She knew her friend was hurting, "I love you guys. Stay safe." 

"We will," Spencer assured her. 

"Garcia out," Penelope said as the screen turned back to the FBI logo. 

"We don't have a case file for the newest victim," Hotch announced. 

The team nodded, "Morgan, Morales and Reid, you'll go to the newest scene. The rest of us will be at the precinct looking over evidence." 

"Are you ready, Kiddo?" Rossi asked Olivia. 

She nodded, "I'm ready." 

---

Derek, Olivia, and Spencer walked side by side as they entered the dark alley. 

"Excuse me! You can't just walk into a crime scene!" A detective called out to them. 

Olivia turned around first, "I'm SSA Olivia Morales, and these are my colleagues, SSA Derek Morgan, and Dr. Spencer Reid. We're with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit," she stuck out her hand to shake, he looked at it with disdain. Olivia quickly got the message and lowered her arm. 

"I'm sorry to disappoint, but we don't need the help," he smirked at Olivia, "especially yours."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Spencer said suddenly. 

"Trust me, no disrespect, but I'm not sure how she's qualified," the detective said. 

Derek stepped forward, "I'm going to advise that you get off our crime scene before I make you." 

The detective scoffed, "Make me." 

As Olivia watched the exchange, she began to laugh. 

"Is there something funny, little lady?" The detective said, smirking. 

Olivia smiled and approached the detective, "Detective Ryan, is it?" 

"Yes," the blonde said with a cocky grin. 

"Do you know who I am, Detective Ryan?" Olivia said, still wearing her sickly sweet smile. 

"No. Why should I?" Ryan said. 

Spencer and Derek turned to one another, both wearing confused expressions. They wondered how much leverage Olivia had. 

"Well, you see, I'm not sure if you're familiar with Police Commissioner Romero." 

"I'm familiar with Romero. How is he relevant?" Ryan said with an eye roll. 

"He's my godfather," Detective Ryan opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by Olivia, "Are you familiar with Captain Morales?" 

Detective Ryan swallowed, "Yes, she's my captain." 

The two male agents smirked, "She's my mother," Olivia said.

Detective Ryan's eyes widened, "I-I didn't know."

"That's alright, Detective Ryan. Did you serve?" 

Ryan nodded, "Yes, I served in the Navy." 

Olivia giggled, "Perfect! Are you familiar with Commander Morales?" 

"Yes, ma'am. He's a legend." 

"I'm so glad you think that! I'll pass the message along. He's my brother," Olivia said with a smirk. 

"Oh, wow. I'm so sorry. I would have never said the things I said if I knew who you were," Detective Ryan said. 

Olivia scoffed, "Of course you wouldn't. If you disrespect any more women who are on the force, I will contact your superiors." 

"Yes, ma'am."

Olivia nodded, "Now get off my crime scene."

---

"When Olivia finished putting Detective Ryan in his place, we found out that the other victim also had her pinky cut off," Derek recounted. 

"But why? Why does this unsub take the pinkies?" Rossi questioned.

The team began to mull over ideas about the significance of the pinkies, "Mouse? What do you think?" Derek asked her. 

Olivia turned her back to the whiteboard she was studying, her eyes filled with tears, "I think I know why." 

Spencer quickly moved next to Olivia and grabbed her hand, coaxing her to sit down. 

"Liv, what's wrong?" Spencer asked, still holding her hand. 

"When I was leaving the bodega the last time we were here, Jamie called me his soulmate," she took a deep breath and gripped Spencer's hand harder than ever, "I laughed it off and told him that he wasn't."

It was then when Spencer realized where she was going with her story, "The Red String."

Olivia let a few tears fall down her face, "The Red String," she said in confirmation. 

"What? Liv, Spence, what is that?" JJ asked. 

Before Spencer could speak up, Olivia beat him to it, "The Red String of Fate is a string that connects one person to their soulmate. In Japanese and Korean culture, it's often depicted as being tied around the pinky."

"It quite literally connects you to 'the one,'" Spencer said. 

"Well, that has to mean that there are some connections between the victims, right?" Emily said. 

Olivia sniffled, "No, I checked all the victims, I even had Garcia check. There are no connections." 

"This unsub only kills twice in whatever city he's in," Emily said. 

"Prentiss, what cities were those?" Rossi asked. 

Emily cleared her throat, "Little Rock, Baton Rouge, and then he jumped to here."

"Why? Why would he leave the South to come up here?" Hotch asked. 

Before anyone could answer, the door to the conference room opened. 

Olivia gasped, "Matthew?" 

Matthew Morales smiled, "Hey, sis." 

Olivia quickly stood up, pulling Spencer up with her, the team laughed at Matthew's surprised expression. 

"Oh! Sorry, Spence," Olivia said. She let go of his hand and quickly embraced Matthew. 

She turned to the team, "Guys, this is my brother, Matthew."

"Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau," Matthew knew who each team member was because of his sister, "Emily Prentiss," Matthew said with a wink. 

Emily smiled, "Nice to see you again, Matthew." 

Finally, Matthew turned to Spencer, "Dr. Spencer Reid." 

Spencer nodded, "It's nice to meet you." 

Matthew laughed, "I can't believe I finally get to meet the guy my sister won't stop talking about." 

Derek laughed as he watched his friend turn bright red, "Matt!" Olivia yelled as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

"I'm just stating the truth, Oli," Matthew said with a smirk. 

Olivia groaned, "How did you know I was here?" 

"Mom told me I could stop by."

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Of course she did." 

Matthew put a hand on his younger sister's shoulder, "I heard about Jamie. I'm sorry."

Olivia nodded, "I'm sorry too. But we're gonna catch the bastard who killed him."

Matthew gave Olivia a smile, "I know you will."

---

It was nearing the end of the first week in New York, and the team still had no leads. 

As Olivia was coming into the precinct, an officer handed her a letter, "What's this?" 

The officer shrugged, "I have no idea. It was in today's mail." 

"Why are you giving it to me?" Olivia asked. 

The officer pointed to the top right corner of the envelope, "It's addressed to you and your team."

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows, "Thank you, Officer Lewis."

Officer Lewis nodded and walked away. 

Olivia quickly made her way to the team, "We got mail."

"What?" Rossi asked.

"From who?" JJ asked. 

"No idea. It's addressed to me and the rest of us."

Before Olivia opened the letter, Spencer stopped her, "Let me open it." 

"Why?"

"It might not be safe." 

JJ smirked, Spencer would do anything to keep Olivia safe, "Alright." 

Spencer ripped open the envelope, after a thorough inspection, he determined it was safe, "Well, what does it say?" Hotch asked.

Spencer cleared his throat, “Is it crazy for you to tell your friends to go on home, so we can be here all alone? We'll meet again.” 

"The first sentence is in quotation marks," Emily pointed out. 

"Olivia, you look puzzled," Rossi pointed out. 

"I feel like I've heard the first line before," Olivia said. 

"I'll call Garcia. She'll find it," Emily said. 

"You've reached Penelope Garcia, the good witch of the BAU. What can I do for you?" Penelope said over the phone.

"Hey Pen, I need you to look something up for me," Olivia said. 

"Anything for you," Penelope gushed over the phone. 

Olivia smiled, "Ready?"

"Yup!"

“Is it crazy for you to tell your friends to go on home, so we can be here all alone?" Olivia recited. 

The team listened to the keyboard clacking on the other side, they waited a few moments before Penelope responded, "Nada."

"Really?" Olivia asked, she could've sworn she's heard the phrase before.

"Zilch, babe. Sorry," Garcia said apologetically. 

Olivia sighed, "It's alright, Pen. We'll see you when we get home."

---

The team had been in New York for too long. They still had no leads, they barely had a working profile.

Matthew joined his sister at the airport to say goodbye. She sat close to her brother, unsure if she really wanted to leave, "I feel like I owe it to him, Matthew," Olivia said. 

Matthew sighed, "I know you, you work with the best team in the world, you'll catch the unsub." 

"Thanks, Matt." 

The siblings sat in silence before Matthew stood up, "I'm going to talk to Reid for a bit." 

Olivia glared at him, "Why?"

"Just some man to man stuff. Nothing too serious," Matthew said with a grin.

"Matt, don't do anything stupid," Olvia warned. 

Matthew rolled his eyes, "I'm hurt that you think I would." 

Matthew made his way to the young doctor, "Hello, Reid." 

"Hello?" Spencer said, confused as to why Olivia's brother was speaking to him.

Matthew studied Spencer for a moment before speaking, "Jamie told me about you before he died. He told me about the conversation the two of you had." 

Spencer nodded, "I remember." 

"Jamie always wanted the best for Liv, he told me about the way the two of you looked at each other. Hell, I saw it for myself when I first met all of you." 

Spencer nodded again, wondering where Matthew was going with this, "Well, what I'm trying to say, is that you are the best for Olivia. You two clearly have something. From what Liv has told me, you're a great guy." 

Spencer looked at Olivia and smiled, "She's a great girl." 

Matthew laughed quietly, "Spencer, you should tell her."

"Tell her what?" 

"Tell her how you feel." 

---

When Spencer and Olivia arrived at their building, Olivia didn't want to be alone. 

"Hey, Spence?" Olivia called out

"Yeah?" Spencer said. His mind was still reeling from his conversation with Matthew. 

"Do you mind if I spend the night at your place? I don't think I can be alone." 

Spencer took one look at his friend, and he knew he couldn't say no, "Yeah, come inside." 

As the two got settled in his apartment, Spencer realized that Olivia didn't have any pajamas, "Do you want to go over to your apartment and grab some stuff?" He asked Olivia. 

Olivia shook her head, "I don't want to go over there right now."

Spencer nodded, "I'll find you something to wear."

Olivia shot him a quick smile, "Thanks, Spence."

---

Long after Olivia had changed into Spencer's oversized Cal-Tech hoodie and his sweatpants the two began a Doctor Who marathon. 

"Are you tired?" Spencer asked. 

"No..." Olivia said. 

Spencer smiled, "Liv, I just saw you yawn. I can sleep on the couch, you can take the bed."

"Spence, we can share the bed. We've done it before." 

Spencer thought about it for a moment before nodding, "C'mon."

As the two settled into Spencer's bed, Olivia turned to face him, "What were you and my brother talking about?" 

Spencer cleared his throat, "I-uh... he was telling me to express my feelings for someone."

Olivia bit her lip, "Who?" 

"What?"

"Who is someone?" Olivia asked.

Spencer waited for a minute before responding, "You."

"How do you feel?" 

Spencer swallowed, "My feelings for you are unexplainable. I can't put them into words. When I'm with you, I know I'm okay. Whenever I'm around you, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. You make my heart race, Olivia." 

Olivia smiled, "Spencer, I feel the same way." 

Spencer let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "C-Can I kiss you?" 

Olivia smiled and nodded. As Spencer connected his lips with Olivia's, she felt like she was floating. The kiss was slow and sweet. Olivia was breathless when they pulled apart. 

Spencer smiled at Olivia, "I've been wanting to do that for a while now." 

Olivia laughed, "So have I." 

Olivia yawned, she rested her head against Spencer's chest, "Goodnight, Spencer."

Spencer smiled, he kissed Olivia's forehead, "Goodnight, Olivia." 

---

tags: @reid-187​ @queenspencerreid05​