#if you tag this as ship i'm physically ending you i'm killing you with bare hands

[toxic-ship-tournament]

ROUND 3 / POLL 2

Matejka x Darling Nikki (@outpost-31 & @rhaaclaws) vs Esmerelda Poofenplotz x Alice Luoja (@cantdanceflynn)

who makes up your ship?:

Matejka (he/him) [by @outpost-31] and Darling Nikki (she/they) [by @rhaaclaws]

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

Darling Nikki and Matejka met in 1524, after Nikki's mother's death, and got into a duel- proposed by Matejka- at the price of Nikki's soul. She ended up winning the fight, and was turned into a vampire. They stayed together afterwards due to both being immortal, and have known each other closely since then. The reason why we think they deserve to win is their extreme codependence: Matejka is extremely attached to Nikki, because she looks like his dead wife Esmé, whom he's still in love with. Nikki takes advantage of him and roleplays as Esmé during sex. This unhealthy attachment to Nikki began consuming his life, so they got into a fight and split up for nearly 100 years. This caused the both of them to become incredibly suicidal, as they'd known each other for 4 centuries at this point, and they barely knew how to live without each other. Even missing each other so dearly, their relationship has the tendency to be very unhealthy. Once, Nikki insulted Matejka's dead wife as a joke, and he almost dragged them out to the sun in an attempt to kill them. Another time, she tried to eat Matejka (due to being a cannibal), but thought his black blood was disgusting. They know each other like no one else does, but still have layer of distrust. Nikki doesn't even know Esmé's name. Altogether, their bond is an incredibly complex one due to the nature of their immortality, but their unhealthy overreliance on each other has nearly ruined both their lives.

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

Ship name: Red Flags And Long Nights Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4GJDQdhpDITspMvp9c99m9?si=29599a8e944946a3

****

who makes up your ship?:

Esmeralda Poofenplotz(Canon Phineas and Ferb character(although I draw her differently from canon)) and Alice Luoja(Background character turned Phineas and Ferb oc)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

THEY BASICALLY STARTED OUT AS TWO DUMBASS TOXIC AF TEENAGERS GOING TO EVIL SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER AND BEING THE TERRORS OF THE SCHOOL(POOFENPLOTZ BC SHES BIG ON BEAUTY AND WOULD BASICALLY DESTROY EVERYONE'S SELF ESTEEM AND ALICE BC. SHES WILLING TO KILL ANYONE WHO RLY FUCKS W HER), AND WHILE THEY ORIGINALLY HAD A RIVALRY IT GOT A LIL TOO HOMOEROTIC VERY QUICKLY AND THEY DON'T RLY KNOW HOW BUT THEY ENDED UP DATING. THEY ENDED UP, SURPRISE SURPRISE, RUINING EACH OTHER EVEN FURTHER THEN THE TWO OF THEM WERE ALREADY TRAUMATIZED!!!! A TYPICAL INTERACTION BETWEEN EM PRETTY MUCH WENT ALONG THE LINES OF POOFENPLOTZ POKING FUN AT SOMETHING ABOUT ALICES BODY OR PERSONALITY SHE KNEW WOULD TICK ALICE OFF("YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SAYING YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUT THROWING UP YOUR LUNCH LATER COULDN'T HURT"), ALICE GETTING PISSED OFF AND PULLING A KNIFE ON HER("YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS TIME I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR TONGUE, STOP THAT HORRIBLE NOISE YOU CALL A VOICE"), AND THEN SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN OR ONE OF THEM WOULD FUMBLE OR FLIRT AND THEY'D JUST GO BACK TO NORMAL BANTER AND TERRORIZING PEOPLE. THEY DID CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, AND WHATEVER THEY WERE EXPERIENCING CERTAINLY FIT SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE STRANGE AND NEBULOUS RANGE OF ROMANTIC LOVE, LIKE THEY DEFINITELY LIKED EACH OTHER, THEY WERE JUST TOXIC AS SHIT AND HAVING THEIR BEHAVIORS EXPANDED UPON OR REINFORCED BY THEIR ENVIRONMENT. EVENTUALLY ALICES OBSESSION W GODHOOD AND HER IDEA OF PERFECTION (ONE THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN THERE, EVEN IF POOFENPLOTZ MADE IT MORE PHYSICAL) ENDED UP DRIVING THE TWO APART, WITH HOW HORRIBLE ALICES DECLINE WAS, AND POOFENPLOTZ ENDED UP BASICALLY LEAVING AND IGNORING HER AS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO SNAP HER OUT OF HER DECLINE BUT ONLY PULLED HER FURTHER IN. AS IT STANDS NOW IN THE PRESENT, THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS A COMPLICATED SPIRAL OF "POOFENPLOTZ ACTUALLY HEALED AND REALIZED HOW AWFUL SHE WAS BEING AND WHILE SHE STILL HAD A DEGREE IN EVIL SCIENCE SHE HAD TO USE SO SHE MIGHT AS WELL GET A JOB DOING THAT, SHES ALSO RLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING W THE CAST AND HELP THEM, ESPECIALLY MILLIE AND PINKY, WHILE ALSO DEALING W " WHOOPS YOUR EX IS BACK IN TOWN AND SHES NOW BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR MORE DEATHS THEN MOST FULL ON TERRORISM COMBINED, BUT SHE IS ALSO STILL KINDA HOT SO *NONCOMMITTAL HAND GESTURE*, YA KNOW?", MEANWHILE ALICE IS "OH RIGHT. SHE QUALIFIES FOR LOVEMUFFIN TOO. IM ALLOWED TO DENY ON HER ON TERMS OF HER BEING MY EX, RIGHT? BUT ALSO IM STILL GONNA INVITE HER TO OUR MEETINGS AND ALSO OFFER TO LET HER " LEAD" THE CULT IVE MADE THAT CONSISTS BASICALLY JUST OF MY VERY ABUSED OWN SON AND A VERY ABUSED TEENAGER WITH ME BC IF I CAN CHANGE HER MIND I CAN CHANGE ANYONES!"

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

Esmeralice, https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnP0Xop8gS5VdFNCP4Uetvq2pM5A9NZTe <- BAD PLAYLIST BY MY STANDARDS OF USUALLY A HUNDRED SONGS AT LEAST BUT ITLL DO FOR NOW

[mousymaven]

SWEET {CHAPTER ONE}

Ellie x reader(NOTES: modern au, fem presenting au, She/her pronouns used, parties, crushes, spying, and slight mention of hypoglycemia(ever so slightly)- yes i'm projecting- this is gonna be some slow burn shit babes, cat, breakups, sorta fast-paced but it’s the first chapter so cut me some slack babes 💀🪻)

this is my first ever fic on this tag so please be nice 😭💗

(first day of school)

The 12th grade was a shitty year to move schools. Three years of building friend ships, learning class routes, and most importantly getting teachers to like you all destroyed with the simple words “you’re mom got a promotion y/n! We’re moving to Wyoming!”

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The first time y/n saw her, Ellie was peacefully unaware of the fact that she was being spied on at all. It was a Sunday and she was killing time in the school computer lab after her band practice. No one else was supposed to be there, y/n had just moved into town with her parents, and the snobby principal was giving them an “all-out tour of their perfect establishment”

It was near the end of summer break, and the kind of humid that makes you feel sticky and uncomfortable. Ellie was wearing a tank top that could easily be mistaken for a sports bar, black skinny jeans, and her crusty dusty black Converse that she had refused to get rid of despite the hole on the inside of the shoe, and constant harassment from Dina about how embarrassing it was to walk next to her wearing “world war ll shoes”.

Y/n hadn't meant to spy on her at all in fairness. She’d gotten bored of the forced “Ooooo and ahhhs” of her parents and wandered around. By the time it had hit her how long she had been standing there, y/n had looked like a complete stalker. Her nose just barely brushed the door, manicured hand gripping the door frame as if it was super glued.

She finally snapped out of it when the brown-haired girl turned slightly in her swivel chair,  briefly facing the entrance. Y/n booked it away from the door, back pressed against the lockers at the other end of the hall leaving her slightly winded, a metallic taste in her mouth as she tried to calm her heavy breathing. After about 5 minutes of silence from all around and the occasional sound of ticking from the multiple classroom clocks, y/n sped back around in an effort to look for her parents. She hadn’t meant to react so hastily, but if she was seen by the stranger that would be one conversation she’d regret having to awkwardly explain.

“Ah, there she is! Y/n y/l/n! I see you’ve taken you’re own tour!” The principal laughed to himself slightly, amused by his own idea of humor “That wraps it up for today! We’ve emailed you your classes and a full map of the school. Make sure to be here first thing Monday morning at 8:30 just in case we need to be going over a few more things”

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It was the first day of school, and y/n was secretly hoping to see the random girl she’d accidentally spied on again.

The brown-haired girl, with really pretty freckles and a nice aura. She wanted to be friends with her. Y/n was good at making friends too, usually, if you didn’t count that one time in the 10th grade when a girl physically sped-walked away from Y/n’s enthusiastic approach to speak with her.

“Phone? Check, backpack? Check, lunch? Check..” y/n trailed off mumbling to herself in hopes that she hadn’t forgotten anything as she made her way downstairs.

“Breakfast? Nope don’t see a check there” Y/n’s father smiled while pushing a small plate with strawberries, toast, and a few slices of apple on it. “Dad I’m fine I’ll eat at lunch we’ve been over this before” the time read 8:15 “I’ve got like 15 minutes to get to school, I don’t have time today- but I appreciate it ” y/n’s father grimaced, the girl almost never ate breakfast, but still complained about the headaches, occasionally vomiting, and weakness when she’d come home after a long day. “ at least take a banana or muffin will you? Just for on the way?” He tried to bargain with her for his own peace of mind, and it worked. “ will it make you happy?” Y/n questioned and he smiled “fine”

Y/n stuffed a muffin in her bag and shouted a “Bye! Love you” before stepping out.

…

Lunch break was the only time of day that Ellie had usually enjoyed besides her journal rants that could span from 12am to 3am occasionally. Not much else really did it for her. The promise of hanging out with friends while occasionally stuffing food in her face was promising.

“Have you heard about the new girl yet?” Dina asked, shoving her backpack into jesses arms as per usual, not that he wanted to but to be higher up on Dina’s  “good boyfriend scale” he endured carrying her heavy ass bag every break for the past 2 years. “ we have a new student?” Ellie mumbled, eyes locked on her phone. “ do you live under a rock or something? It’s all that everyone’s been talking about! We live in the middle of butt fuck nowhere we don’t exactly get a new student everyday els” Dina cursed how out of the loop Ellie was. Despite being somewhat socially relevant, and being in band as well as a few other clubs Ellie was almost always never paying attention to things she deemed ‘boring people matters.’

“I sit behind her in French, she seems pretty neat to be honest- really cool backpack actually, it has a bunch of pins and shit on it” Jesse finally piped up as they sat down outside under one of the many trees outside. “ what neater than me?” Dina joked, raising her eyebrow at him.

Jesse playful pushed her and they started their usual lunchtime banter while Ellie drifted off from the conversation slightly. It wasn’t that she wasn’t interested in conversing today but rather that she’d stayed up till 4 in the morning arguing with Cat on Snapchat again. They’d gotten into a really messy breakup back in May- given that it was now September Ellie thought that Cat would be over her usual bullshit of posting photos with other girls and tagging Ellie just to try and spark something outta her. It never did affect Ellie at all, not emotionally at least- however being tagged a shit load of times by someone who was clearly trying to egg her got old after a while. Her calm text of “Can you please cut it out” ended up spurring an argument which resulted in a final block from Ellie, something she’d wish she had done sooner but couldn’t due to how close they used to be.

As Ellie's mind drifted back to the present, she realized that her friends had stopped talking and were now staring at her expectantly. "Sorry, what were you guys saying?" she asked, trying to shake off the remnants of her late-night argument. Her friends exchanged a knowing look before continuing their conversation. “ we’re going to a party tonight- you in?” Jesse asked, wrapping an arm around Dina “Uh maybe who’s, house?” “Owen’s- it’s some shitting first-day thing- but there’s gonna be alcohol and weed so ya know”

Ellie knew Joel wouldn’t exactly be exactly enthusiastic about Ellie attending a party on a school night, but it had been months since she’d gone to one and the thought of letting loose was enticing. “I’ll think about it ” “WOO THE THREE MUSKETEERS BACK AT IT” Dina yelled excitedly. Since the breakup with Cat Ellie hadn’t budged on her willingness to join Jesse or Dina to any group events, especially parties. “If you don’t stop with those goofy ass nicknames I’m gonna beat your ass someday and I said MAYBE” Ellie joked, getting Dina’s foot shoved at her side, Jesse watching as they pushed each other around on the grass. After a few minutes, they eventually calmed down and Ellie piped up “Okay fine I’ll come- but you better bring your stash just in case Owen has those shitty ass white boy rolls” pointing a finger at Jesse.

For Ellie usually everything after lunch was a bit of a blur. This semester however she had genuinely enjoyed the classes she’d gotten[math, science, English, and lastly advanced art history ] it was nice but made her day seem more dreadful and lengthy. Each class was roughly an hour and a half give or take, however now that Ellie knew that she was going to be attending a party and getting high it seemed like her classes spanned 5.

1:50 shined brightly on her deformed iPhone, the realization hitting that she was already 10 minutes late.                                                                                       “Well look who decided to grace us with her presence, Williams take a seat beside y/l/n” Miss.Blight announced loudly, the whole class's attention looking towards Ellie. “Fuck me” she mumbled under her breath, walking to her seat, barely taking notice of the person sitting beside her. “Excuse you?” “Nothing” she huffed out. Ellie knew she got lucky when she ended up getting English again. One of her favorite subjects, however, she’d only truly enjoyed it previously due to the teacher being one of those ditzy teachers who paid more attention to texting their boyfriend than being a real teacher. This gave Ellie a lot of room for creative freedom while writing, not to mention the fact that she was sure the teacher would most likely give her an A no matter what she wrote.

It really wasn’t until Ellie had actually gathered her barring and gotten out her Chromebook that she’d noticed the girl beside her wearing something that if she wasn’t new would easily get her sent home for “being too comfortable showing any kind of skin no matter the body type or size”. Ellie couldn't help but admire the girl’s confidence to wear her outfit without seeming to care. Ellie also noticed how pretty she was, Jesse had said she was neat but never mentioned anything about the new girl being hot. She knew she shouldn’t try to start anything given her past attempts at talking to girls failing terribly, it felt like a part of her had lost the spark since cat, instead, she decided to focus on her own work. Listening to the teacher regurgitate the same bullshit about nouns she’d heard in the first grade.

“Hi, um sorry I’m y/n.. not to bug you but I can’t seem to think of another word for ‘lovely’ and Google wasn’t much help- do you know any words perhaps similar...IT'S COOL IF YOU DON'T AND I APPRECIATE THE-” y/n trailed off slightly. Y/n could definitely think of multiple words that could replace ‘Lovely’ but knew that this was the most casual window of opportunity to talk to the brunette without coming off as “too much” some would say. “Sweet? And I’m guessing you’ve gathered I’m Ellie” She cut the other girl off slightly, trying her best not to sound awkward. “Gosh, why didn’t I think of that, thank you! I really like your necklace by the way”

"Thank you, I appreciate it," Ellie replied with the best smile she could muster. "It was a gift from an old friend, she gave it to me on my birthday a few years ago." Y/n smiled back, feeling a little more confident about their conversation. "That's really sweet," she said, using the word Ellie had suggested earlier. "I wish I had something so cool." "Yeah, she was pretty amazing," Ellie agreed. "Anyway, how’s your first day been so far- besides this grumpy hag” Y/n laughed a bit, she’d also noticed how shitty the English teacher seemed to be from her constant low muttering about how much she hated high school kids and teaching. “It’s been okay I guess, I mean I haven’t really talked to very many people. There’s this one guy in my history class that asked how I was doing but that’s about all. The school is pretty nice though”

The brunette nodded “Yeah a lot of people here just sorta stick to themselves or their friends, but the school itself is okay I guess” Ellie didn’t know what took her over but she felt somewhat obligated to ask her next question. “Ya know there’s this like super lame guy, Owen. He’s throwing some party tonight for back to school- ya think I’ll see you there?”

Y/n choked, she’d never been to a party- and definitely never asked by someone of Ellie’s nature. “Uh I don’t know I’ve never really been to one and” “Oh no problem you can always hang with me and my friends- not to mention I’m sure there’s gonna be a lot of people so I’m sure you won’t really have to worry too much about anyone caring ”Ellie spoke abruptly, sounding rushed. “Okay then yeah I’ll see you there…here’s my number just text me the address” y/n mumbled, pulling Ellie’s Chromebook closer towards herself so she could type her phone number onto the Google doc.

Then the bell rang.

E.W: YOU DIDNR SAY SHE WAS HOT? AND SMWLLED NICE WTF?

J: huh?

D: me when miss.felps💀

E.W: THW BEW GIRL RHE NEW MF SHES OML BRO

J: perhaps try speaking English jackass <3

D: nobody appreciates my jokes anymore :(

E.W: bro the new girl- she’s cool- like seemed cool- she sits beside me in fuckin English bro

J:  I’m guessing you invited her to Owens party then lmfao

D: SIMP BEHAVIOUR

E.W: maybe- and both of you have no god damn room to talk abt simp behaviour 😐

E.W:

As the day went on, Ellie felt a growing sense of excitement mixed with nerves. She hadn't been to a party in months, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to let go of her hermit lifestyle just yet, but as she and her friends piled into Jesse's rusty car, and headed to the party, she laid back, finally letting the feeling of excitement hit her. “what is with you fuckers and having the most old and disturbing shit” Dina spoke loudly, already tipsy from a bottle of wine that Jesse had stolen from his parent's liquor cabinet. She was referring to Jesse’s car and Ellie’s shoes, both of which had looked like they’d been through hell and back. “The car is not ‘old’ it’s vintage” Jesse argued, the car was passed down to him and despite his work on it the car didn’t look much better. “ can both of you shut up- and get off my ass about the shoes all the bitches love ‘em,” Ellie said with a smirk, knowing damn well that she needed to throw them out someday.                        

As they arrived at the party, Ellie's nerves started to get the best of her again. She hadn't been around so many people in a long time, and she wasn't sure how to act, but as she stepped out of the car and saw the bright lights as well as the deafening thumping music, she felt a surge of excitement return. “Woooo let’s go bitches” Dina jumped out of the car and ran for the front door, Jesse huffing behind her. “Idiots” Ellie mumbled to herself.

“Uh hey..”

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This part is so fast-paced and I wanna kms oml- I know it’s bad but I swear the other parts will be better but I really needed to get the fuckin ball rolling for the next few chapters babes 😭 someone lemme know if I should make a tag list- low key hate this but I’m so proud of myself for finally finishing and writing something so Wooo Wooo🧁

Everyone stay safe, be kind, and have a lovely day!! ((ε(*´･ω･)っ†*ﾟ¨ﾟﾟ･*:..☆

[thegeminisage]

IT'S TIME FOR. a star trek update. and BOY am i behind. wednesday we watched tng's "frame of mind," friday we watched ds9's "progress" and tng's "suspicions," and last night we watched ds9's "if wishes were horses." i am so thrilled to announce that despite the high amount of episodes including tng episodes i have almost NOTHING to complain about this update. like a little, but not much.

frame of mind (tng):

first of all we must acknowledge this gifset, which according to the timestamp i saw with my eyeballs near the end of january which (and i checked) was right after the episode where picard is like yeah worf should kill himself. IN the course of the episode worf asks riker to assist with his suicide which is both the most horrible and romantic thing that's ever happened with them. so i went into the ship tag. found it most bereft except for this gifset. i have been DYING to know for a MONTH AND A HALF what's going on in this ep. i finally cracked recently and read the summary which only made me more excited.

so. drumroll. DID THE EP DELIVER..............???

yes.

yes, with VERY minor caveats.

i think my only real complaint about this episode is that it was a me problem. like i was picturing some scene where worf tenderly (for him) talks riker down from a fit of madness and also he was the real worf. i built it up too much in my head. that's not what happened. in my mind palace it is. i'm a little tempted to do a rewrite of it to make it happen but i barely have time to breathe so that will remain a wistful thought for now. like, i knew the enterprise setting wasn't real, but regardless of the amount of worf/riker (e deanna) ship content it was just kind of disappointing to learn that the mental facility was ALSO not real because the worf and data that rescued riker were not real and the beverly that snuck in to see him was also not real and his experiences there also weren't "real" in the physical sense, even though he very much did still experience them. very "it was all a dream!" of them

OTHER THAN THAT. i was really into it. i loved everything about it. i loved riker's break from reality. i loved that crazy lady with the spoon. i loved how even data got weirded out at riker's antics. i love that the part of riker that is his feelings is represented by deanna and the part of him that is action is represented by worf WORF E RIKER E DEANNA REAL! i didn't like picard being his logic. spock should be everybody's logic. get that guy outta here

also, what a great touch to have very chill very normal very laid back riker be like yeah if i don't tear this set apart with my bare hands before i sleep i really WILL go crazy 🙃

side var didn't beverly say people were coming to clean it up in the morning...what happened to the ship cleaning itself smh. justice for the invisible janitors and housekeepers of starfleet

also, why did this episode make me slightly into riker and beverly as friends with benefits...the whole trill boyfriend situation adds so much fun complication to that as well depending on a multitude of varying and equally valid interpretations of that event. like, girl, forget picard's two-timing ass. what's he ever done for you except knock you up with an affair baby. join the worf e riker e deanna polycule. they could make better husbands. shit, i could make a better husband. forget him girl! you don't need him

progress (ds9):

holy fucking shit.

this episode BLEW me away. easily a must-see on my spreadsheet, when i (eventually?) catch up. every single thing they do with kira is AMAZING.

the old guy was so instantly likable. he was likable even when he was being sexist BECAUSE he was being sexist specifically to wind kira up because kira was playing bad guy. their chemistry was so good. i was just as worried about him as kira was the whole episode long

what a brilliant way to discuss war, not by showing the violence or the gore or the death but by simply showing us this guy who won't leave his farm and sleeptalks during his nightmares and these other two who can't speak but WILL kill you with pitchforks. like, you have "chain of command" with picard and the four lights and then you have this, and both of them are so important in our understanding of the cardassians and what they do.

sisko was so absolutely kind to kira. like, he outlined her struggle perfectly - she's no longer the underdog, and in some ways that sucks, because she now has no idea how to behave. her morals and her logic and her heart are all telling her different things.

AND LIKE. SISKO. KNEELING DOWN. TO BE EYE TO EYE WITH HER. i cannot possibly express how important that is. HE IS SO GOOD!!!

i'm actually really glad she got teary eyed but DIDN'T cry. we just watched her ugly cry in that episode with kai opaka and i think to do it twice together so soon would have been too much. but it DID need that emotional beat, and they struck the perfect balance.

the through-line of the fucking kiln. every time i saw them building it. wah.

the ending was so shocking and so horrible...actually, my one tiny nitpick with this ep is that there wasn't really the proper setup for it. the air will be poison if those guys tap the moon, but surely the ostensible utopian starfleet is not gonna tap it with even one holdout...? though i guess bajor isn't in starfleet proper? tng often has too MUCH technobabble and exposition but this didn't have quiiite enough - i feel like forcefields or masks or other scifi tech might have solved this problem and i didn't REALLY believe the only two solutions were to let this guy die on the moon or forcibly relocate him, especially when kira brought up a slower way to get the energy they needed - but maybe that's the point, that she ended the fight before it could become one, idk. i also wish he had said "as long as this house is still standing" a little earlier - having him say it right before the end sort of gave away what kira was gonna do before she did it, though i DIDN'T expect her to start with the kiln.

other than though it was so good. it says so much about the nature of the cardassians as a group, and bajorans as a group, and about kira herself.

also, sorry, jacket coming off hot.

suspicions (tng):

THERE WERE SO MANY WOMEN IN THIS EPISODE??? let's count

beverly, and it's a beverly-centric episode

hot klingon lady who threw beverly around like a sack of flour (again: beverly is bicurious)

VERY snooty vulcan lady with the human??? husband????? sorry but doesn't he have a refractory period how do they get BY during pon farr? ok. none of my business. moving on

nurse ogawa who helped commit women's wrongs

guinan, beverly's confidant and pretend tennis elbow haver...

deanna also had a few lines which i'm choosing to count in the spirit of things

also, that green alien guy? long feng from atla.

anyway, i was tickled with this episode. not only because they finally wrote a ferengi who isn't racist, showed another vulcan/human couple, included a bunch of women, AND gave beverly the main role, but also because the mystery was perfectly done. it gave us just enough information to stay interesting, and i figured out long feng faked his own death RIGHT before the reveal - not early enough to bore me but early enough to make me feel smart

i didn't really understand why beverly chose to end ferengi racism in a field that she wasn't even in but i support her so much. also, she got to do an illegal autopsy and steal a fucking shuttle. GOOD for her

again i want to state that this klingon lady TOSSED HER AROUND it was so fucking sexy. get it beverly. i so rarely have so much fun with a tng episode and we got two good ones in a row!!

if wishes were horses (ds9):

this is a sequel to an episode of tos i mostly don't like, "shore leave." tng also had a "shore leave episode" (the one where picard's mom showed up and i think some ensign got spliced into the floor) so we have done "our thoughts manifest as reality" twice now and i assume will continue to do it in every star trek series going forward. so far i have not liked any of these episodes because of the redundant and irrelevant nature of them (oh look! a random tiger!) but ds9's is probably my favorite out of the three

i just feel like you have the potential to get so real and do such character work when thoughts are manifested as reality and instead it's always this crazy shit. i think tng tried to do it with more gravitas, but it's tng and early tng at that, so i've yet to see star trek do one of these successfully and i doubt i ever will.

ANYWAY. number one complaint with this is of course the fake dax. i think it's really funny that she keeps gently but firmly shooting julian down, and while julian is a likable cringefail loser i NEVER saw him as a creep, not even with repeated attempts to ask her out...and then this happened, and it was very touch and go for a second there. i'm glad his instinct was to fight dax when she was compromised, really horrified when he "gave in," and then was extremely relieved when they were interrupted. he tried i guess. i'm gonna try not to hold it against him. if i can forgive geordi i can forgive julian.

we ALMOST got it working right. dax was like you know julian in a way i kind of feel like we invaded YOUR privacy it's not as though you can help having fantasies and they should have been safe in your head which was like. ok great take actually! we are being adults! but then the fake one showed back up and tried to pick a catfight with the real one and SSSSIGH

keiko and o'briens little daughter is SO cute. i mean she is SO fucking adorable. rumpelstiltskin was easily the dumbest part of this episode but that little baby is so adorable it was almost worth it to see her. i also didn't like that obrien didn't immediately say no as a kneejerk reaction to selling his daughter. girl what's wrong with you

i DON'T like that there's no baseball in the future. number one i refuse to believe americans could ever fall out of love with baseball even if it's only in a "let's bring back this vintage game" kind of way and number two it's one of the only sports i kind of like and understand. sisko being a nerd about an ancient dead sport is so funny though. good for him.

THAT SAID. i was kind of hoping sisko would see his dead wife. we got a great little moment where kira imagined an explosion and a guy on fire, which touched on something she probably actually has seen, and it was a fun way to give a stupid and silly concept some gravitas, but when everything got quiet there at the end i was expecting sisko's wife and no, it was just mr baseball again

shoutout also to odo running around with two real live birds on that set, quark fucking the birds after they turned into ladies, and then odo imagining quark in jail. truly a series of events, though given quark offering to make him a changeling lady friend in the holosuite (refreshing that at least in ds9 they acknowledge it as a sex toy), i kind of expected a serious moment with him too where he got his wish unwillingly.

and finally, i had SUCH a hard time following the plot of this episode.

the ending of this...eh. the power of positive thinking got rid of the rift = funny? the power of positive thinking is why a bunch of aliens showed up to wreak havoc = ehhhhh. the closest we came to having that serious moment i wanted was kira's .5 second scene and it JUST wasn't long enough. probably my least favorite ds9 episode yet, if we don't count the one with q, but still not as excruciating as some of tng's duds - it was entertaining enough not to make me hate existing for a single watch.

TONIGHT: tng's "rightful heir" (worf episode???👀) and ds9's "the forsaken" (deeply not looking forward to this...the summary says LWAXANA TROI is supposed to be mencing my best boy odo. please save him please get the tng out of my ds9 please please pleeease)

[bug-decal-kissing]

Hey friends!

All the works I've collected today are NSFW; they'll be below the cut :].

The Beginning is the End is the Beginning, by grylos, was updated today, with 6/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and Graphic Depictions Of Violence, with additional tags "Genocide, Slavery, Sexual Slavery, Bombs, Suicidal Thoughts, Sad, Happy Ending, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Backstory, Slow Burn, Child Abuse, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Corruption, Consensual Non-Consent, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Grooming, Oviposition, Bugs & Insects, bug sex"

You can read it here:

Please mind the tags for chapters 5 & 6 ! Stuff is getting hEAVY,,,,,

NOT MY BOY NOT MY BOY PLEASEEEEEE PLEAAAAAASEEEEEE EVERYTHING WAS GOING OKAY FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE WHYYYYYYYYY I'M GOING TO KILL FICTIONAL CHARACTERS WITH MY BARE HANDS. MY BOY. MY PRECIOUS BOY. WHYYYY I'M GOING TO START CRYING AND THROWIGN UP

A new work, It is snake day by othersin, was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of Mature and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "god AU, moon god prismo, sun god scarab, Shapeshifting, snake prismo, Romance, Married Couple, Married Life, because openly flirting with your husband in his office is expected, scarab is not able to get any work done, Cute, Romantic Fluff, scarab loves any shape prismo appears in, prismo loves scarab just as much, Drabble, Short One Shot"

You can read it here:

Snake Prismo my beloved <333333 He's a BIG SNAKE obviously <3 I, too, wish to be hugged by a giant cold snake it sounds like the perfect weighted blanket,,; they are IN LOVE and it fills me with VIOLENCE/pos.

A new work, Roman Skies by DrNickMD, was published today, with 1/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Mature and Graphic Depictions Of Violence, with additional tags "dark medieval mystery drama, Adventure Time AU, Roman Skies au, finn has imposter syndrome, monster jake is peak, lots of shipping (Prismo's doing), prohibited wish fic they write, scarab likes angst, Slow Burn, Exes, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers. lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies again HAHA, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, time period is questionable, Queen Bonnibel is both nicer and meaner than she appears, Crimson is mean (period) sabuebouwq, Save me Spectro"

You can read it here:

FINN AND JAKE YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!! Monster Jake is always a win >:]c I am side-eyeing Queen Bubblegum and also EXCITED FOR WHEN CRIMSON MAKES AND APPEARANCE HEHEHEHEHE AND SPECTRO IS HERE shaking trembling for the prisjake I need it/pos

[quietwings-fics]

by accident or design

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Fandom: Supernatural Ship: Gen (Castiel & Hael) Additional Tags: Car Accidents, Blood and Injury, Episode: s09e01 I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here (Supernatural), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angelic Possession (Supernatural), Fear of Death Wordcount: 798 Summary:

Castiel’s plan to crash the car goes horribly wrong.

Notes:

For day 22’s prompt: vehicular accident

The car swerved like Castiel planned for. He couldn’t have expected the sudden lurch in his gut as they ran off the road. He couldn’t have known they were going so fast. Being in a car almost felt like standing still, without even the wind rushing past to orient him. The trees came at the car between one blink and the next, and then metal screamed around him as the car came to a brief and sudden stop. 

The seatbelt yanked on his chest as his body careened forward. Only the air in his lungs escaped.

He had a second to look to his left, but Hael was gone, the windscreen shattered.

And then the car was in motion again, unsatisfied with its first impact. It warped itself around the tree it had first hit and rolled, taking Castiel with it. The world he was only allowed to see through fractured glass tilted, faster and faster as the car picked up speed one last time. Its engine gave a death rattle as it turned him over, throwing him up — or down — before rolling again and slamming him back into his seat.

The seatbelt kept him firmly in place, holding tight despite his bodies protests. He heard something crack, and vivid pain, so much louder, more physical, than anything he’d ever known as an angel, exploded up his body. His chest convulsed, and the pain grew worse as he tried to pull in a breath. Something warm bubbles at the back of his throat, a metallic smell filling his nostrils.

The car gave one last groaning heave before it settled on its back. Castiel hung helplessly in his seatbelt. He kept trying to choke in air, but he couldn’t fill his lungs without it hurting. 

Deliriously, through the pain, he realized that the Winchesters would never know if he died out here. He wasn’t an angel anymore. He wasn’t someone they could pray to, or summon, or track. He would disappear from their lives the way countless others of their friends had, without even a last word, only a promise that he’d find them soon.

And he would never know if Sam was okay. That somehow scared him worse than being forgotten on the side of the road.

He heard a pained cry from beside him. Blood was rushing to his head and dripping down into the roof of his mouth. He rolled his head to look through the shattered window on his side of the car to see Hael, broken, dragging herself to his side.

She couldn’t heal a vessel that was rejecting her anymore than he could fix his own mangled insides. 

She forced herself to look up at him. “You’ll kill us both,” she yelled. “Is that what you want?” He couldn’t tell the difference between blood and furious tears streaking down her face.

“You’ll find another vessel.” He had to spit out blood to say it, and more welled up before he’d done, faster and faster with every passing moment. His vision seemed dim around the edges, but he forced himself to stay for as long as he could. Where did an angel go after death, one with no grace and no soul? Would he cease to exist at all?

“I barely found this one!” He could hear the desperation in her voice. “We don’t have anywhere to return to, Castiel!”

Angels without vessels, losing themselves amid the chaos humanity had created, dead satellites and radio waves and television broadcasts. Angels caught like birds in telephone wires, tangled and strangled. All his fault. Every last death. All his fault.

“I wanted to see it,” Hael whispered, and he believed her. “I made things once. I just wanted to remember.” Castiel didn’t want to die. He did all of this, only to end up hurting them both more, as though he hadn’t learned his lesson yet about fighting the inevitable. His good intentions only ever made things worse. 

“Hael.” He choked, but he had her attention. He only needed to say one word. He could do that before his whole world went dark. If it meant living.

The man who gave him his voice, the body he now bargained with, spoke to him like a ghost, that’s not living. Castiel would have laughed if it didn’t hurt so much. Jimmy’s sacrifice had been selfless. Castiel was just scared to die. 

“Yes,” he told Hael. She stared at him.

“What is wrong with you?” He spat blood up against the car’s ceiling. He couldn’t get enough air anymore. The world was spinning. His chest was burning, too full, too heavy. 

She pulled herself closer to the car. The last thing Castiel saw was the blinding light of his sister’s true form before it sank under his skin.

(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)

[rixareth]

'People you'd like to get to know better' meme

Thank you for tagging me on this, @unorthodox-oblivion!

Three ships: only three??? How am I supposed to narrow this down? I suppose I'll go with one ship from three different categories I have a weakness for:

ships between cynics and the idealists who make them a little less cynical, such as Jeff/Annie from Community.

ships between people who are isolated together, either physically or metaphorically (e.g. by their mutual experience of things nobody else will ever believe or understand), such as Mike/Sam from Until Dawn.

the oddly specific 'creepy person who hovers between ally and antagonist'/'determined protagonist who has an intense relationship with aforementioned creepy person and doesn't know how to feel about that', such as Hinata/Komaeda from Danganronpa 2.

Special mention to Nate/Elena from Uncharted, who don't fall into any of these categories but always spring immediately to my mind when I think about ships I love.

First ship: Squall/Zell (Final Fantasy VIII). I've always been a little surprised it's not a bigger pairing; Zell definitely seemed into Squall!

Last song: The last song I actually listened to was 'Little Talks' by Of Monsters and Men. The song I currently have stuck in my head is 'Hurricane' from Death Note: The Musical.

Last movie: Birds of Prey. It was pretty fun; I enjoyed what a disaster Harley Quinn was. The last film I saw in the cinema was Suzume, which was absolutely gorgeous.

Currently reading: A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers. I always enjoy her sci-fi; I'm sorry that the Wayfarers series is over!

Currently watching: Having seen Death Note: The Musical on stage and absolutely loved it, I'm rewatching the Death Note anime! I love Light. He's such a terrible person, but he's just so good at murder that I find myself weirdly proud of him.

(I went to the musical with a friend. 'The moment Light came on stage and started singing, I looked over at you, and you were smiling so fondly,' my friend commented afterwards. 'It was like we were watching a school play and your child had just come on.')

Last thing I wrote: This little Death Note ficsnippet in response to a concept suggested by @winter-literature. I've never written anything about soulmates before, but I couldn't stop thinking about the idea; it did seem fitting for Light and L! I ended up scribbling the ficlet down on my phone in the middle of preparing supper.

Currently writing: I don't know whether I'll actually finish it, but I've been playing around with a Death Note fic concept in which Light is forced to kill someone with his bare hands. He's used to killing from afar, so I think it would be interesting to see how he copes with committing hands-on murder, and whether that would make it harder for him to accept his own actions.

[arsonsamruby]

sam winchester pride

i have a new fic <3 hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

it’s s1 sam coming out to dean. was THIS close to making the ending sam ugly crying alone but even though dean Is like. microaggressions boy he’s not going to be a bitch about it all that’s out of character. i think he does try very hard to support sam. like he’s not an ally but probably because he doesn’t really know what an ally is. 

anyway wtf am i even saying.

___ Sam has a headache. Dean comes by, ruffles his hair, slouches into the couch. Sam licks his lips, looking away from the screen. It has loud, bright cartoons on it and in the prickling sense of dread he’s carrying with him, the stimulation is too much. 

Half of the headache is from a hard hit he took to the head, lingering pain. The other half is stress and dehydration. Unless beer counts as hydration, then in which- well, he’s covered. The screen of the television is cracked through; it’s playing Friends reruns. 

He stands abruptly. 

“Sammy, I swear to God, if you start pacing again-” Dean warns, throwing a pillow at him. Sam ducks it, somehow. His body takes up half the room. It’s hard to find space. 

He can’t help it. His feet get itchy, his legs pull tight, and it’s nice. Nice, to put in his earphones and walk around for a little while. “I’ll go out to the parking lot, promise. I won’t bother you.” 

He smiles slightly at Dean, but his brother isn’t much looking. 

The parking lot of the motel has the sticky feeling underfoot of summer heat on asphalt, and sweat. The crumbling pollen and flowers from the trees have made his half-present allergies flare up. As a kid, Sam would have allergy seasons that ran out of sync with everyone else’s. 

Go three years without a single cold, until one awful summer would come and he’d sneeze and sneeze and sneeze. He recalls: Oregon, in a rainy patch. It had been a relief to wash all the yellow pollen away with the weekly downpour. Another thing about Oregon, he’d had a best friend there. A girl. 

Huh. He tries to tuck his smile away, but it comes through like the sun through clouds. Sam looks dumb, doesn’t he? Some goofball pacing around a parking lot and smiling to himself. 

After about ten minutes, maybe more, his pace slows. The scenery is getting too humid. He wants to roll back into bed, into those cool sheets. 

“Sammy? Is that you?” 

Sam kicks his shoes off into the dirty corner. Dean’s left a bootprint on the floor there. If Sam was looking for a fight, he’d say something. “It’s me.” 

“You got a call. Someone left a voicemail. For you.” 

His voice is sharp, pounding hail on cement. “A call?” Sam replies dumbly.

Dean nods his head over to the answering machine. “I’ll put it on for you.” 

Sam’s heart begins to slow to a rolling stretch of highway. The cars moving across it are few and far between and his breath is short and dangerous. 

“Sammy?” The effusive warmth dies down after the nickname, realizing Dean’s heard it through. The voicemail, the nickname. “You gave me this number the other day. Outside the Jewel Osco?” 

He laughs. It crackles over the phone in a friendly way. Friendly the way he kissed tiny little butterflies onto Sam’s collarbones, the way his house was cool in the summer night. 

“I guess you’re a big-time developer and all so I’m not sure if you even care. But I have the jacket you left with me? The other night?” 

He clears his throat. “If you want it back, you can drop by.” The voicemail ends. 

“You leave your jacket at your friend’s house, Sammy? Come on, it’s just like you’re little again. You want me to pick it up for you?” 

Sam realizes two things: Dean hasn’t caught what the message means, and Sam wishes he would have. 

“Dean?” 

“Mmm?” 

Sam has never been able to cry with dry eyes. He can’t hide the shaky undercurrent to his voice. His eyelids feel like cement but he keeps staring at Dean. A flush of fear is blooming high on his cheeks. 

“Me and that guy, we’re not just friends. Or whatever.” 

Sam went calling for information, at his house. Said he was a real estate developer, even though the back of his neck went red with the obvious lie. The suit was cheap and he was young. He’d gotten the information and then this guy, his name is Jude, had kissed him. Sam left the suit jacket there. He’s glad he’s getting it back, all things considered. 

He still doesn’t know what possessed him to hand over his number after buying peanut butter and sandwich bread two days later. A crack in his self control, maybe. 

“What do you mean…” Dean isn’t making jokes, at least. Sam squints hard at the floor. His head feels like a matchbox. Being struck over and over again. His headache is back, erupting with a vengeance. 

“Sam, is it something- Dad did? Is it something I did? To make you, uh.” 

Sam shakes his head, sighing deeply. He wants to be a bitch about it and spit out something sarcastic. “What do you think you could have done?” 

Dean shakes his head. Murmurs, “I don’t know,” almost that Sam can’t hear him. “I guess you’re the type, though, Sammy.” Sam knows what he means by that. “As long as you don’t go around falling in love with some starry eyed dude. We still have to find Dad.” 

“About that. Don’t tell him.” Sam pointedly raises his eyebrows. Dean doesn’t have a great record of choosing- choosing him, his secrets that he keeps tight in his fists. He doesn’t have a record of letting any opportunity to be a good son slip by. 

“Sure, sure.” Dean frowns. “Hey, what about Jess? Did you lead some poor chick on up until-” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Sam’s hands are suddenly shaking. Dean leans back. He’s not the shrinking type, his shoulders stay up and guarded. “I’m not gay, I’m- I’m something else. Both, you know?” The inside of his cheek is bitten raw, he can taste the fleshier bits coming alive. 

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Sammy.” 

The telling was easy; now it’s muddier. Sam wades in anyway. “Who here is the expert, you or me?” The sick dread has risen in his stomach and is now lapping at his sodden brain, pulling him under. It’s hot as hell out but he pulls the blankets over his legs. 

“Sorry. Bad take.” 

“I loved her-” Dean doesn’t like hearing about Jess and Sam cuts himself off. 

“Never mind. I’m going to go get more beer.” Dean leaves. 

Sam looks between the ugly green blankets, the TV still on, the white, unearthly light seeping in through every crack. When he told Jess, she lit up with it, went on to ask him questions, run her fingers through his shower-damp hair and let him talk. 

Dean bursts through the door. “Sammy, I really do want to say- thank you for telling me. You wanna talk about it more, we can go get your girly coffee drink and we can talk about whatever.” 

The aimless tears in Sam’s eyes finally come to the surface. “Oh, come on,” Sam groans. “You don’t have to act like I’m that-” 

Dean interrupts him. “Here, Sammy. Here. The way I see it, you’re like Chandler Bing now.” 

Sam blinks at him. “Dean, he’s not-” 

“Well, maybe not in the show, but everyone knows he’s gay anyway. You’re like Chandler Bing. If you want to go with me and get a coffee, uh, tell me about the guy action you got at Stanford, I’ll be your Joey.” 

Sam swipes the back of his hand across his eyes. If tears were blood he would look like a murder victim. Dean approaches him nervously. “Seriously.” He wrestles Sam into a tight hug, holding him for a long few minutes. 

“Do we still have painkillers around? I have a headache.” The walls (brown wood and decades out of date) are no longer closing in on him under oppressive heat and thoughts of Jess. Dean isn’t mad. Just- just Dean. 

Life returns to normal.

[fanfiction-funtime]

Genshin OC: Louis

Based on Interactions with @genshin-obsessed

And Pocket, in the original it was Signora who traumatized him sexually(I'm sorry if it offends you but I feel uncomfortable saying the r word), but I don't think she's that evil so in this fic it will be slightly different, but still as messed up.

_____________________

Louis is an inventor from Fontaine, perhaps the brightest in all Teyvat. After unknown circumstances he was forced to flee Fontaine to Liyue, where unfortunate circumstances lead to him to meet Kazuha. Kazuha rescued him in his moment ot need, and inside of taking the life debt Louis offered the samurai merely took his friendship. Now he works as the fleets greatest engineer, repairing and upgrading the ships of the fleet with never before seen technology.

But one has to wonder, what ever caused him to leave Fontaine? And under what city did he meet Kazuha?

__________________

Physical description: a fifty year old man in the following outfit

In this hat

Both his arms are burnt all the way to his shoulder, so he hides them with finned gloves

(Also: I consider Kazuha to be an adult, so if you know about the shipping plan with the Interaction thing with Pocket it's not weird)

He has teal eyes, long silver hair, and a twirling pencil thin mustache.

_____________________

The rise

Louis created his first groundbreaking invention at the mere age of six: a torch that ran on gas!

When he presented his invention it was met with grand....disdain.

People called it a scam, that what he said was impossible. He was laughed and ridiculed, to the point he disappeared from the public eye for many years.

Until fifteen years later.

At nineteen he skyrocketed into the market of invention, using something noone could dispute nor deny the grandeur of: he created a gun!

_____________________

To forge an empire

It was not easy to make it in the invention markets of Fontaine, even with patents one could not stop competitors from making their own form of their products.

So Louis had to be the best damn inventor of all of them! It was why he got his vision, his ambition, his soul demanded it!

And so he did. He hit every corner of the market with high quality inventions every week, from gas ovens to full plate armor, from fans that spun themselves to moving walls! It was once said in Fontaine that if someone wanted the very mountains to move at the push if a button, all they needed to do was pay Louis to make it.

Hundreds took their children to him to for apprenticeship, master craftsmen begged to work for the genius half their sons' age and twice their own skill. It wasn't long before his inventions were being sold by merchants all across Teyvat.

_____________________

A defiled heart of glass

As happy and successful as Louis was, there was something he longed for, something no amount of ambition, success, nor money could ever get him: someone who truly cared for him.

He had believed this to be true for years, until one evening ball,

He met a woman.

She approached him as he sat surrounded, yet completley alone. She walked up to him and said, "you look lonely, would you like to go somewhere else?"

She said it without any ulterior motive, no sucking up, just a genuine want to hang out with HIM. No as Louis the inventor, but as Louis the man who enjoyed inventing.

They walked away from the party, saying to abyss with any who found it rude! And went around the town as two friends, absolutely enamored by eachother's hopes and dreams.

They were friends for five years when Louis finally confessed his love for her, how she would listen to him, and care about him, something he gave to her in equal share.

But a mere year into their relationships he found out his lover's secret: she was Fatui.

One night he found her coming home through the window, in her complete uniform no less. She was afraid, afraid he would leave her for what she was. But instead, all Louis did was wipe her tears and day, "how can I help?"

Do began his secret dealings with the Fatui. He used his bright mind to create countless machines of war for them to use, guns that did not need loading, gas powered suits of armor that gave strength well beyond that of a human, anything thr Tsarista wanted she would get. Because whatever the Tsarista wanted, his love wanted.

His darling love, Signora.

Or so he believed.

Ten years into the deal he was discovered by the Fontaine government and quickly proclaimed a terrorist. He had to flee Fontaine, so he went to where Signora was at the time, Liyue.

When he met her in Liyue he fully intended to propose to her, but when he got on one knee to do so, all he recieved was a sharp freeze through his chest.

And his glass heart shattered, on the stone cold ruins of an empire.

_____________________

Meeting the samurai(tw: this is where the bulk of the messed up happens)

A quick death, however, was not to be his end.

Signora hated him, despised him, for the time she "wasted on this useless, lovesick freak" as she put it.

So she let her mages do to him as they pleased, and left.

And they took full advantage.

They tortured him, violated him, broke him in every way they pleased.

They even convinced him that it was his fault, that he should enjoy what their doing, that he should thank them.

Then left him for dead.

For days he sat slumped on a stone pillar, riddled with holes, barely holding on to life.

'But why?' He had wondered. For he had believed their lies, that he deserved this fate, 'this is a fitting end.' He believed, a fallen emperor, dying on the long dead corpse of an equally grand empire to his own.

'So why?' he wondered, 'why do I keep fighting?'

Then one day a wandering samurai found him and took him in. Louis begged the man to let him die, "I deserve this. She said so...I deserve this....why else would she have done it?"

But the samurai did not falter, he carried the man to the nearest settlement to be healed.

When asked why, the samurai responded, "if you weren't so hurt, I would throw you on the wall and shout you down! WHAT IN THE ABYSS MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GIVE UP!? BECAUSE SOMEONE SAID SO? BECAUSE SOMEONE GOT UPSET WITH YOU? SO WHAT!?" The samurai grabbed Louis' vision and held it to his face, "YOU HAVE A VISION, A GIFT FROM THE GODS, GIVEN BECAUSE YOU HAVE A DREAM! THERE IS SOMETHING YOU WANT ISN'T THERE? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE WANT THIS? WHO WOULD BEG TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO FULFILL THEIR DREAMS?!" the samurai began crying, "do you know how many have had that stripped away? All because someone said they should? Well they still fought. They all fought. And so many died." He placed Louis' vision back on its holder, "so don't you dare give up, and don't you dare die just because someone said you should!"

It wasn't the help Louis needed to fix himself, but it was enough. Enough to help him go on.

_____________________

Vision: shards of a broken dream

Despite what he told the public, Louis did not spend those fifteen missing years because he was discouraged, but because he was betrayed.

Louis was approached by a well known inventor, who said he would help Louis' invention get the recognition it deserved!

Louis should have listened more carefully, because the man never said anything about helping HIM get the recognition he deserved.

The man stole his patent for the gas lamp and rebranded it as his own invention, and threw Louis to the curb.

Were Louis any other person he would have curled up in the warmest alleyway he could find and die, but Louis was not any other person.

Instead he began to create, he spent years and years trying to perfect gas power, then the gods saw his ambition and granted him a vision, a vision of flame.

The vision ignited at an inopportune moment however, and caused a massive explosion that nearly killed the then twelve year old boy.

Inopportune to anyone else, that is.

For in the flames of pain he saw the truth, the overwhelming power that is explosive force.

Then with his still burning hot hands he got to work, forged casing after casing to try and capture the gas that had shown him the light. He spent weeks forging a small metal pellet that could not only survive the blast, but also remain strong enough to pierce through nearly any armor. Then he created the keystone of his work, his masterpiece, the first gun.

And he used the first bullet to take revenge.

_____________________

Abilities:

Main- power of gas: throws a glass container with flammable gas, applying a swirl like effect to a large area that effects all enemies.

After using it, the player can use the ability again to strike a piece of flint that will create a giant explosion that only effects enemies.

Ultimate- culmination of ambition: Louis creates a large explosion blasting enemies away, the camera then zooms in on him holding up two pistols. After the animation ends Louis replaces his Catalyst with dual guns that deal 5X damage and attack twice as fast for ten seconds

Weapon type: Catalyst

Vision: pyro

Passive: glass heart- party members gain 5% extra friendship experience when Louis is in the party.

Special dish: ice cold jelly- a simple spin on the classic mint jelly, Louis adds a special cooling agent to it that increases the cold of the mint exponentially.

(Tagging: @storytravelled, @golden-wingseos, @genshin-obsessed)

[thelambsofiscariot]

💘 - What is your muse like in ships (Gradeus? Because Gradeus and Tao is... a weird ship... but I dunno I'm starting to ship it)

[ A shipping meme for muse told by the mun // Gradeus in general and Tao + Gradeus ]

💘 - What is your muse like in ships

I’m laughing because this was sent in just when I was thinking about the fact that Tao and Gradeus really need to break but… but anyway here we go.

Tags @techtao for this because literally it makes no sense otherwise… also you can track all of Gradeus’ serial killer AU (the one where he gets with Tao) under {Hell’s Bloodied Rage || verse || ain’t no rest for the wicked… til’ we close our eyes for good} .

Long tag, I know, but it’s relevant.

Warning for: mild sexism + misogyny (on Gradeus’ part not mine), some mentions of abuse, please check my tags for the content warnings you can filter out on this blog in general.

Gradeus in a relationship is ordinarily cold. He’s never cared very much for any girl he’s dated. He sees them as — well, not necessarily below him, but inferior? in some ways to him. He has never thought girls in general are all that intelligent, or strong, or even attractive (his favourite thought to go to is “man, that bitch thinks she’s so pretty but she’s so stupid lol”). He’s had girlfriends, he’s had sex with them, he’s pretended that he likes them and that he’s interested in them… and he’s very good at faking it. But he will never tell the girl “let’s meet up” or “Let’s do something together” on his own initiative. Aaaaat this point in time, he sees all that as a waste of money for a fruitless experimentation. He only ever really dated them because he was either approached and went “whatever, I’ll indulge this bitch” or he figured he can get something from them… either through appearing in public with her (so typical it looks good to have a girlfriend) or through some sort of payment, like the promise of a job through a friend or something? Nothing as blatant as “give me money” because he views that as classless and beneath him.

So, like, Tao. Tao’s different because first of all, Tao’s a genius. There’s the intelligence problem solved right there. And Gradeus has always had these weird thoughts towards girls in particular, so Tao being a guy… also takes that out of the picture. (Tbf, Gradeus might treat a smart or strong girl as an equal after some time of learning that she’s not the ‘same as other girls’… cheesy, I know, but it’s an important process for him.) Gradeus sees Tao entirely as an equal, except in age, which is where it gets complicated — Gradeus has always had rules centred around age. He won’t kill anyone who is considered a child, since he considers that ripping their lives away from them unjustifiably. He has his own ideas of it kids needing to be respected and cared for, and being given wiggle room in certain situations and matters because they’re just not mature yet. And Tao might be slightly past that line, but he’s still barely just. Gradeus knows he’s still very young.

Gradeus treats Tao as an equal in most situations. He knows that Tao knows what sex is and how to have it safely, so that’s entirely a mutual thing. Matters of schooling, Tao’s definitely superior. He fully respects most of Tao’s decisions, although sometimes if Tao attempts things that should definitely not be done at his age (eg. illegal things such as drinking, smoking) he’ll just be like “no, not in my sight like srsly not at all but not like I can stop you when I don’t see you??” He doesn’t try to have any extreme control over Tao’s life, either.

He respects Tao as his boyfriend and values very much what they have, really. Like, legitimately — there is no one he’s ever cared about so much in his life. Family are family, and he does have only superficial connections to them. for example, he’s never really felt true affection for his mother even if he gives her kisses and hugs. He knows that she’s his mother, he shows the affection that’s necessary, and then most of the time just goes “ugh, stupid woman” and just has no qualms saying something horrible or careless about her. Not to her face, and not to anyone who’s going to make his life hard with that info, but he has those thoughts… and no trouble at all having them.

So Tao is his first real emotional connection, which he just doesn’t understand how to deal with for the longest time because… he murders people, he has no emotional connection — except to Ignes and to Chrys, who are his best friends — but Tao is different, because he’s never been with anyone in a “relationship” before and actually cared about them in that sense. He stops killing for Tao, because Tao ‘doesn’t like it’ (in the simplest way put). He sets a lot of time aside for Tao, tries to pay attention to what Tao says and what he needs, and .

The issue is, Gradeus has mad issues. He’s not a cold and ruthless killer for nothing. He tried, previously, to keep his two lives (the life of killing and his ordinary social life) separate. But he tried to kill Tao, and just happened failed, and that’s where the line is blurred with one person: Tao. Actually blurring that line made it possible for Gradeus to know that Tao’s seen him like that, and still cares about him — and that’s a big part of why he loves Tao. Because Tao has seen that side of him, and for some stupid reason, comes back and stays with Gradeus. That’s part of what makes it possible for him to reciprocate the feelings. The girls that had liked him didn’t know him for who and what he was, and he looked down on them and laughed at them for it.

Then there’s Tao, who just manages to push his way into Gradeus’ life. Into both of his lives, and still wants to be with Gradeus. Gradeus is just… shaken by this thought, but once he gets used to Tao in his life, he makes a lot of room and changes so many things for Tao. He’s willing to make Tao his top priority — will hurt someone badly for Tao, if Tao needs him to or if he needs to protect Tao. He tries to remember everything Tao tells him, writes down Tao’s birthday and his favourite foods and the movies he likes, just everything. Because really, this is the only relationship he’ll ever get in and be invested in, he’s going all out and he’s going to do his best like he’s never done before.

But back to the problem with blurring his lives: it means the parts of the cold, ruthless killer from his other side comes creeping in. Mixing his lives up is a good thing and a bad thing; it means that Gradeus has some sense that their relationship is valid, and that he’s able to open up, but it also means that he ends up hurting Tao. Because in order to keep the boundaries of his life apart, he made 100% sure that those girls he’d been with before never even had a chance to see the real him. Tao, however, is not so safe from that.

Gradeus gets too comfortable with the first and last person that he loves. He ends up hurting Tao, physically and verbally. And no matter how much he loves Tao and treat him better, it happens again and again. And Gradeus knows 100% in the end that he can’t be with Tao. The first time he really hurts Tao physically, even just briefly, all at once he tries to deny it and to believe that it was a one-time thing, yet he hears that voice in the back of his head telling him that he’s going to it again, he knows he will because he is just that kind of person.

Nevertheless, they weather it out for a while longer. Their dynamic does probably slowly shift. The moment Gradeus moved to establish his dominance in an unhealthy way, even in the smallest of ways, it clearly affects them both. What he’s doing is changing Tao in worse ways, as much as he would like to deny it. He can excuse the small slip-ups, the mild or moderate things that were just the result of a “bad day” or a “bad mood.” It’s easy to say that it was a minor occurrence, and that he’ll change. He’ll be better.

He doesn’t get better. He doesn’t get better, and it’s when Tao is nearly dead at his hands that he’s man enough to take Tao’s copy of the key and to throw it away, and to entirely cut Tao out of his life.

It just wasn’t meant to be. Tao is a normal kid who deserves to have a happy and ordinary life with someone who will treat him well, and someone who won’t hurt him like Gradeus will. Gradeus should’ve known from the start that someone like him isn’t for Tao, whom he sees as something precious and (if he wants to cheesy) full of life. Being with Gradeus is something that’s going to just drain Tao of that life, whether metaphorically or physically. And Gradeus… is not willing to be the one to do that to Tao. He will be the one to break up with Tao. He cares about Tao that much, at least. The day he breaks up with Tao is the first time he cries since he was a child, out of emotions. He’s never had a reason to feel bad about anything or anyone. He just didn’t think he had the capacity. And really, he doesn’t. It’s just — Tao. Tao did something weird to him.

After that, life just changes entirely. He thinks that he’s free of Tao, so he can go back to how he was before. Killing people, getting some kind of pleasure out of it, at least he can have that back… but wrong. It just feels like nothing. In fact, he feels worse. It’s weird, and something he can’t deal with because that’s how he used to let out that other side of him. That’s how he used to relieve stress, and frustration, and anger. So why the hell won’t it work now? Did Tao ruin that life of his, too?

So he throws everything into school and work. He needs to finish his master’s programme, so he focuses on that and increases his work hours even longer. Goals are good, because they keep him fairly grounded. Those two things he makes the focus of his life, slowly cutting off the other people who mattered to him. It’s just weird without Tao. Tao definitely did something to him, something that he can’t explain. And when he’s done with his master’s, there work to keep him anchored… for a while.

He moves on with his life, becoming an architectural manager, moving out into his own home away to another city and trying to move up in his work. Still, something’s wrong.

Then he probably runs into Tao again at some talk, because of course Tao is grown up and big out there in the world of technologies and sciences. He makes the mistake of attending one of the talks, and seeing Tao as an adult. Seeing what he missed out on because he ruined it. Tao may or may not have seen him come and force himself to see the whole thing through. But he doesn’t stick around to find out.

Whatever seeing Tao has triggered in his brain, it’s not a good time. Within some months, Gradeus has made up his mind to go out with a bang. He’s seen all that the world has to offer him, so it’s time to go back to his roots and end it the way that he knows it should. Because Tao has ruined his entire fucking life, showing him what he can’t have and destroying what he did have. Gradeus could’ve had a quiet life, a peaceful one.

Another string of murders start, ten years after the first. He’s inviting the authorities, personally, to come after him this time. Whether or not they can take him up on the offer, whether or not they can find him… that’s a question.

But he’s planning to go out and to leave a legacy behind. One written in a trail of blood.

… okay but seriously I so hate the fact that I ever sent in abusive meme asks @ tao because ugh I literally hate it I never wanted their relationship to go south this way, and they had such cute nice little threads at times, but UGH it’s impossible to not admit that Gradeus is an evil little thing… if I want to properly carry over canon elements of him, then he must be this way, it feels the right way to portray him and any relationship. I freakin’ love the ship a lot but it’s going to die, one way or the other, in the plotline and this… is the best way I see la ug hs  literally if I could give Gradeus a happy ending I would bUT  LITERALLY I CAN’T ROMANTICISE A SERIAL KILLER PIECE OF SHIT CHILD NO MATTER HOW CUTE I THOUGHT HE WAS IN HIS GOOD MOMENTS LIKE FUCK

HE’S A SERIAL KILLER  HE OBJECTIFIES (nonsexually ok let’s not) AND HATES WOMEN

HE ABUSES HIS BOYFRIEND EVEN IF HE AND I LIKE TO SAY “HE DOESN’T WANT TO AND HE’S SELF AWARE AND TRIES TO CHANGE” LITERALLY HE’S ABUSIVE

HE SHOULD DIE F UC K 

ALSO IT’S A GOOD CONNECTION TO HIS VERSE TAG  BC LITERALLY THERE’S NO REST FOR HIM UNTIL HE DIES AND CLOSES HIS EYES FOR GOOD AND GOES TO FUCKING HELL