#if you see this you should do it too 👀
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harrysfolklore · 18 hours ago
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i need a lando x brazilian!reader for sao paulo gp!!
persistence - ln4
summary: lando has the biggest crush on a brazilian model and he won’t give up until she gives him a chance
folkie radio: HAPPY LANDO DAY !! for some reason, my lando fics are always my least fave but i needed to post something for his bdayyyy, i hope you like this
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
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yourinstagram i ❤️ LA
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username1 THE FACE CARDDD
username2 if i looked like that i wouldn’t let anyone give me crap
username3 IT GIRL
alexademie Loved seeing you 😍
username4 brazilian women >>>
iamrebeccad 😍
username5 WHAT IS LANDO NORRIS DOING IN THE LIKES 😭
username6 lando i see you what are you up to
carlossainz55 Hermosa !
↳ username1 sometimes i forget she’s actually friends with carlos
↳ username2 ouuu maybe this is why lando is in the likes
↳ yourinstagram miss you carlitosss
madisonbeer pelase come more often loml 💘
↳ yourinstagram you should comento brazil miss!
username7 LINDA
username8 can’t believe we’re from the same country but i don’t look like this
alexandrasaintmleux ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 you beautyyy
↳ username2 IT GIRLS FR
landonorris Pretty girl 😍
↳ username1 LANDO HELLO?
↳ username2 HES SO BOLD
↳ username3 yn not even replying 😭
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landonorris memories from my last time in brazil 📸
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username1 LANDOOOO
username2 HELLO SIR WTF
username3 what was the reason for this thirst trap NOT COMPLAINING THO 😭
charles_leclerc Who let the dogs out?
↳ username1 HELP MEEEEE
username4 lando norris what are you up to
username5 I WANT TO LICK HIM
mclaren Good start of the week 🙌
username6 confess lando who are you trying to charm
username7 HES SUCH A MAN
danielricciardo I’m looking respectfully
↳ username2 HE GETS IT
username8 lando posting a thirst trap from BRAZIL and not so randomly commenting on a brazilian model’s post LANDO I SEE WHAT YOU DO
carlossainz55 😂😂😂
username9 BE SERIOUS
f1gossip We’ll get to the bottom of this 👀
username10 i need to know how his brain works
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texts between carlos and lando
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yourinstagram somebody come get this man… i think he got lost in my dms
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username1 IT GIRL
username2 how bad i wish i was her
username3 the amount of random celebs that probably slide into her dms 😭
lizzobeeating those lyrics 🤌🤌
username4 SPILL DEETS
username5 expose them bestie expose them
sabrinacarpenter i’m still laughing
↳ brunamarquezine me too
↳ yourinstagram we all 🤫
username6 i need her bandana asap
username7 MESSY QUEEN
alexandrasaintmleux 😍😍 my style inspo !
↳ yourinstagram miss YOU are my style inspo we need to meet asap ❤️‍🔥
↳ username1 AHHH THIS CROSSOVER
carlossainz55 Forgive him… he’s just a boy
↳ iamrebeccad 😂😂
↳ username2 HUH WHATS THIS ABOUT???
↳ yourinstagram keep him humble carlitos
landonorris stunning 🤤
↳ username1 NOT THIS AGAIN
↳ username2 plot twist hes the man who got lost in her dms
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lando.‪jpg i’ll take that as a compliment
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username1 LANDOOOOO
username2 he remember the password for this account
username3 WHAT DOES HE MEAN 😭
charles_leclerc 😂😂😂😂
daniel3.jpg mate im sure that’s not how it works…
‬ ↳ lando.‪jpg did i ask?
↳ username1 HUH LET ME IN
username4 WHAT IS HE ON ABOUT
username5 who’s attention is he trying to get with this post
username6 lando has been moving weirdly lately
carlossainz55 EMBARRASING
↳ charles_leclerc Please make him understand
↳ georgerussell63 😂😂😂😂
↳ username2 WHAT IS THIS
↳ username3 I NEED TO BE PART OF THEIR INSIDE JOKES
↳ username4 I HATE THEM
↳ lando.jpg can’t hear the haters
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yourinstagram monaco i am in you ✨
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username1 FACE CARDDDD
username2 the queen in monaco ? slay
username3 i know a certain mclaren driver will like to hear about this information
gigihadid 😍😍
madisonbeer MY GIRLFRIEND 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
username4 SCREAMING
username5 her genes are really blessed
↳ username1 ofc she’s a brazilian
brunamarquezine Linda 💘💘
username6 don’t let lando norris find out
username7 LANDO X YN?? is this what i’m getting from this comments ??
↳ username2 more like lando thirsts over her but she ignores him
carlossainz55 No way! We should meet up
↳ yourinstagram i was about to text youuu carlitos
↳ username2 LOVE THEM
jacobelordi 😍
↳ username1 dream couple fr
alexandrasaintmleux FINALLY 🙌🙌
↳ yourinstagram can’t wait to see youuuu gorgeous sass won’t know what hit them
↳ username3 OMFG IT GIRLS MEETING
landonorris 🤤🤤😍
↳ username1 DUDE GIVE IT UP
↳ username2 LANDO PLEASE
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the grid but only the cool ones groupchat
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f1gossip Lando was at Sass Cafe in Monaco tonight. Any theories of who the girl might be? 👀
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username1 MESSY LANDO
username2 he’s sooo 😭
username3 i need lando to look at me like that
username4 that happening to me could save me
username5 just fell to my knees
username6 isn’t that yn the brazilian model??
↳ username1 WAIT
↳ username2 you have a point
↳ username3 NO WAY 😩
↳ username4 wait a damn minute that’s her
↳ username5 WHY IS LANDO LOOKING AT HER LIKE THAY
username6 ooohhh i see 👀👀
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replies:
iamrebeccad I have major fomo right now 🥲
↳ yourinstagram YOU SHOULD’VE BEEN THERE
madisonbeer 😍😍😍
anokyai monaco loves you ✨✨
alexandrasaintmleux my new bff 💘💘
↳ yourinstagram i literally love you so much
landonorris miss you already 😍
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yourinstagram first time watching race cars 🏎️ good luck tomorrow to my dear friend carlitosss
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username1 OMGGGGG
username2 SHE WAS AT QUALI ?? SLAY
username3 wag energy
arianagrande 😍😍😍
username4 lando norris was found yelling
username5 THE FACT THAT SHES LANDO’S CRUSH THO
scuderiaferarri ❤️
username6 LANDO X YN FINALLY???
username7 she fits right in she should date lando
username8 WE NEED THE QUEEN AT THE SÃO PAULO GP
username9 the only girl that matters
alexandrasaintmleux Linda 😍😍✨
↳ yourinstagram eu te amo !
brunamarquezine 💘😍🙌
username10 BET LANDO FREAKED OUT
username11 okay but carlos looks so good
carlossainz55 Te quiero!
↳ yourinstagram 🥰🥰
iamrebeccad ❤️❤️❤️
landonorris the most gorgeous girl in the paddock
↳ username1 THERE HE IS
↳ username2 the fact that she has never ever acknowledged any of his comments has me dying
↳ username3 he has BALLS
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f1gossip Landinho is in full summer break swing ! The driver was spotted in São Paulo tonight 👀
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username1 LANDINHOOO IS BACK
username2 UMMM AM I READING THIS RIGHT
username3 he did not....
username4 yn just give this boy a chance we all know you keep him hanging
username5 WE WON
username6 he speaks portuguese and all now
username7 this man istg
username8 suddenly brazil is his favorite country in the world
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landonorris sent you a message request
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f1gossip Lando was spotted out and about in São Paulo tonight, but if you look closely, you might notice he's carrying a purse and a phone with a Rhode case. Was Landinho in a date with someone? 👀
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username1 LORD
username2 CUT THE CAMERAS
username3 lando dating a brazilian woman ?? UM YES
username4 IM SUDDENLY BLIND
username5 if it's not yn then we don't want it
username6 I NEED CONFIRMATION THAT HE WAS WITH YN
username7 oh to have lando norris carrying my purse and phone for me
username8 that's a MAN
username9 GOING INSANE
yourinstagram has added to their stories
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replies:
madisonbeer girl you're so messy but ily
↳ yourinstagram nice case right? 😙
alexandrasaintmleux Are we finally twinning in the paddock?
↳ yourinstagram we'll seeeeeeee
carlossainz55 Excuse me?
↳ yourinstagram hi carlitos
↳ carlossainz55 You really gave that muppet a chance?
↳ yourinstagram what can i say, he's persistent
landonorris Linda 😍😍
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yourinstagram i heard something about race cars in são paulo?
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username1 STUNNING
username2 that's not face card that's face economy
alexandrasaintmleux 😍😍🙌
username3 LANDO THIS IS YOUR CHANCE
username4 future wag?
username5 COME ON LANDO SHOOT YOUR SHOT ONE LAST TIME
username6 if the rumors about her and lando are real....
madisonbeer my queen actually 💋
username7 THIS IS WAG MATERIAL
username8 how funny woud it be if she starts dating another driver when lando has been begging since forever
username9 LINDA
userame10 and when the queen graces interlagos with her presence
landonorris 😍😍😍
↳ username1 LANDOOOO
↳ username2 i respect him
↳ username3 you better win that mf race
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f1gossip Our eyes are not fooling us, Brazil's national treasure is at the Interlagos circuit paddock with Lando Norris right now
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username1 OMFGGGG
username2 yall don't know the lore
username3 he actually did it....
username4 LANDO NORRIS I NEVER DOUBTED YOU
username5 i used to pray for times like these
username6 HES SOOOOOOOO
username7 lando norris the man that you are
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yourinstagram i told him we could hard launch only if he scored a podium in my country and he didn't so you'll never know who's this fine man 😙
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username1 STOOOOOPPP
username2 MESSY
username3 girl we know that's lando you fell for his charms
sabrinacarpenter 👀👀👀
username4 LANDO NORRIS YOU CHAMP
iamrebeccad 😂😂😂
username5 never doubting little lando norris again
brunamarquezine NO WAY
username6 im so lost whats going on
username7 from not getting a follow back to this LANDOOOO
carlossainz55 Ay dios mio 🤦‍♂️
↳ yourinstagram we love you carlitossss
↳ username1 i bet he refused to be lando's wingman so many times
bellahadid we have some catch up to do
username8 plot twist this is not lando
username9 THIS PICTURE IS SO HOT
username10 most iconic couple already
landonorris i wonder who that fine man could be
↳ username1 LANDO YOU DO THE HARD LAUNCH
↳ username2 i bet he's living
landonorris o mais linda 😍😍
↳ username3 LANDINHOOO
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landonorris lost the podium but won something else. obrigado 🇧🇷
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username1 OMFG
username2 THIS MAN ISTG
username3 lando norris you're one little menace
charles_leclerc FINALLY
↳ georgerussell63 After years of being rejected
↳ danielricciardo Look at our boy go 🙌
↳ username1 HEEEELPP THEY ALL KNEW
maxverstappen1 You owe me...
↳ username2 I NEED THE LOREEE
mclaren 🧡
username4 THIS IS TOO ICONIC
username5 okay she's gorgeous
username6 persistence is key i guess
username7 HEEELP HE JUST COULDN'T WAIT
username8 lando dating a brazilian is such a win
yourinstagram you're a cutieeee i guess
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theinheriteddutchess · 6 hours ago
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Ok so suede is extremely well behaved! I don't know if that's his personality or a deeper more psychological meaning👀🥺 but most kids would just wake up there parents especially when they're so young.
I'm so proud of him for doing it! 😭
Ok this whole scenario with Andy and suede…I am so filled with warmth. It's so cute and that little bit is visioning and loved and safe. And about to fall asleep lol.
Maybe her ovaries ache for a different reason 😏
See I'm not liking this, where she has to ask if she can take them away while he doesn't communicate his plans at all and would probably just take them and maybe inform her last minute probably. Her mom knew! She was right.
Though i get that it's hard if your kids would call another partner a mom or dad, the fact is Scott doesn't deserve to be called that title and it's sad how scared Audrey is to disappoint him.
… Even the playdoh isn't safe from Scott's bullshit.
Ok I wouldn't recommend topless cooking!I can only imagine grease splatters on your chest😭 that shits no joke
Lol she's a brat. And that little back and forth with the boyfriend\fiance thing To be honest she's being unreasonable and angry at the wrong person here.🤷🏻‍♀️
He he that burn about his fear of sharks, fucking hypocrit. Also! Why would Taylor's parents even accept this relationship? Their skank of a daughter should be a shame, and they would expect this relationship not to work out anyway. And I don't doubt she won't think of suedes allergies!
Fuck you Scott, truly get stubborn for that fat comment
And get double fucked for saying suede shouldn't be there. Fuck you, you fucking fucktard, I will dance on your funeral.
And Taylor can fuck of too, laughing at a two year old. She works protect that little bit, but she's vile. Sorry I just have no patience or empathy for either, I wish them horrible things. i want them to be humiliated and hurt, lile truly, maybe they'll never learn l but maybe, if they're down and vertonen they can understand what empathy is. Though I doubt it.
**“Fuck you. You are so self righteous. You act like you’re the perfect fucking parent, and nobody is ever going to compare to you. I hope Andy enjoys trying to please someone who is impossible to please,” you moan again. Having to bite on Andy’s arm. “You fucking slut. How dare you fuck that asshole while you’re talking to me!”*"
He he hypocrit, because you were fucking Taylor during your marriage, and also, yes, Andy is enjoying himself. A lot.
Okay I tired myself out😭
Until we meet again.
Ps, probably a gazillion mistakes but I tried!
Two Good Reasons, Part 8
Summary: something is happening
Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader
Rating: explicit
Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, playful degradation, mentions of divorce, mentions of neglect, unprotected sex, slight voyeurism, Scott, creampie, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 5.7K
Previous
Series Masterlist
*dividers created by @firefly-graphics
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“NaNa?” Suede looks up from the toys he’s playing with pointing down the hallway to your bedroom. Desperately trying to get Andy to wake you up, “Mama and Dee seep?”
“Yes, buddy,” Suede huffs a bit. Crossing his arms over his chest before his mouth flattens out, and he returns to his playing. Andy watches him a moment before looking back at the game on tv. Suede looks back down the hallway before pouting up at Andy, “Suedey, what’s wrong?”
“Me pee,” he says, rocking his body back and forward.
“In your diaper?” He shakes his head no, looking towards the bathroom, and he jumps up. His feet bounce around a bit before he jumps, holding himself. “Okay. Come on,” Andy stands up, and walks quickly towards Suede, “Let’s go, buddy.”
“Mama be mad?” His brows furrow as he starts bouncing around even more. Andy knows he has moments before Suede has an accident and gets upset for doing so.
“Your mama won’t be mad. Come on,” Suede holds himself as he runs towards the bathroom, and makes it to his potty just in time. He gives Andy a thumbs up, smiling so proudly at him. “You made it! Does that feel better than a diaper?”
“Chess! Me yike it. NaNa pee der?” Suede points at the bigger toilet, and Andy nods his head, “Me, too?”
“One day. And you’ll get to stand.”
“No,” Andy nods his head yes. “No, no.”
“Has your dad never,” he stops his question when Suede scrunches his nose up. Andy approaches the boy carefully. A child with so very little vocabulary, and still so young, but clearly Scott hadn’t been teaching him anything about pottying.
“Tay.”
“Taylor?” Suede nods his head, and Andy wonders what his limited words are trying to tell him. He’s noticed that you don’t ever press your children about time at their dad’s, so he doesn’t want to either. But he wonders if Taylor is the one that deals with bathroom or diaper duty, “You done?”
“Chess! My mama at?”
“She and Audrey are taking a nap,” Suede dramatically rolls his eyes at Andy, and pulls up his pants. “Audrey has a bit of a cold, and your mama is tired.”
“Ways seep!” He rolls his eyes again, starting to stomp out of the bathroom.
“Hands, Suede,” Andy’s voice is soft, but demanding. It’s not a question, it’s what Suede has to do.
“Ugh,” groaning, he gets on the stool, grunting as he reaches for the soap.
“I know mama has been needing some extra sleep lately, but it happens to everyone,” Suede shakes his head no, starting to play more in the water than washing his hands. “Yes, they do. Your mom works hard, she loves you and sissy harder, and…”
“Ove oo.”
“Yes, she loves me, too. Are you finished?” Suede giggles as Andy picks him up to use the towel. He swings him around until he’s sitting on his hip, and he peeks into the bedroom, and you’ve still got Audrey tight against your body. Your nose buries into her watermelon scented hair, and she clings just as tightly to you.
Suede gets one look at you and growls, “Now, you’ve got to share time with your mom. You could have taken a nap, too, and you said no. You want to nap?”
“No,” shaking his head no, he points at Andy’s chest. Sputtering out words before sighing. Once Andy gets into the living room, he points at the tv.
“You want to watch the game or Bluey?”
“Oo Oo,” that settled that. He yawns, and Andy chooses to ignore it, if you bring up nap to Suede, he’ll refuse it just to spite you. Still holding him he walks into the kitchen. Grabbing himself a beer, and a cup of watered down juice for Suede. “Nack, pease,” his speaking has immensely improved. Suede has slowly been able to put words into sentences.
“A snack. Hmm. What about your fruit salad? No strawberries, and no..?”
“Pies,” pineapples. Close enough. “NaNa, my ove oo,” he lays his head on Andy’s chest, snuggling in a bit tighter. He always tells fibs about being sleepy. Sleepy Suede, is more cuddly loving Suede.
“I love you, too, buddy. You ready to watch some Bluey?”
“Chess!” But his ’yes’ is just a little bit softer, and he never lifts his head off Andy’s chest.
You yawn, looking down at your daughter who rubs the sleep out of her eyes. Audrey looks up at you, giving you a sleepy smile, “Did you sleep as hard as mommy?”
“Uh huh,” she sits up in the bed, stretching big. “I like this new bed. Can we see what Andy and Suedey are doing,” she jumps out of the bed immediately, but waits for you to stretch, too. Going behind her, you scoop her up in your arms to blow raspberries all over her, but stop when you walk into the living room.
This is the sight you’ve always wanted to see; a sticky-faced little boy snuggled up against his dad’s chest, while both of them are passed out. The comfort that Suede feels with Andy matches the way he feels about you. You have no fears when he’s with Andy. You know that Andy has his allergies memorized, but also checks the list that’s on the fridge constantly.
He wanted to watch some football, but opted for Bluey so Suede could fall asleep. He agreed to stay up a bit longer with Suede, spend some one on one time with him, while you and Audrey were already piled up and snuggled. Sunday naps are your favorite for a reason.
“They’re sleeping,” Audrey looks at you with a big smile. You know she enjoys seeing Suede being happy and more content here. She shouldn’t have to worry about her brother, but she does. The best big sister you could have asked for. “Suedey likes Andy a whole whole lot.”
“So does Audrey, huh?” She giggles, nodding her head. “How about mommy and Audrey get a snack, and you can play at the table while mommy makes dinner?” She nods again, while you look back at Andy and Suede. He makes your ovaries ache. Seeing how good he is with children that aren’t his, you know this man deserves someone of his blood. You don’t know how, but you’ll make it happen.
You honestly can’t even wait to spend all these holidays with Andy and the kids. Biting on your lip, you glance at the family calendar, knowing it’s past time to ask Scott if you can go back to Michigan with the kids to spend time with your family for Thanksgiving. It was your weekend to have them. Scott hadn’t told you about plans with Taylor’s family, or if he was even interested in seeing them on the holiday.
You didn’t want to travel for Christmas, but Andy had the time off for Thanksgivng. You had the time off. You missed your family, and wanted them to see Andy with your babies. Let them see how much the kids have grown, and also a grownup Andy. Your mom obsessively talked about him. Even told you on your wedding day you should try and find Andy again because you were making a mistake. Mom’s always know best. And your mom definitely knew.
“Mommy?” You look up from slicing the vegetables for a roast, letting Audrey know she has your attention, “I think I messed up.”
“Why’s that?” She bites on her lip, looking more like you every day, even with her mannerisms. Audrey looks down at the PlayDoh she’d been kneading, and looks down the hallway towards the living room. “Audi? Is everything okay?”
“I called Andy daddy,” she sighs, and finally looks up at you. You meet her with a smile on your face. You and Andy hadn’t found the time or the way to bring up that comment. “It was at donuts for dad, and I just think I got confused. My head was all mushy, and I didn’t mean it. But I liked having him there, and showing my room. You’re the only one that’s seen it.”
Her face falls to sadness, and you lay down the knife. Walking around the counter island to hug her, “Sweet girl, Andy and I aren’t mad.”
“But what about my daddy? Are you going to tell him?” You weren’t. But eventually if Audrey kept feeling comfortable with Andy, and letting that title slip, he would know.
“Do you want me to?” She shakes her swiftly, and buries herself into your chest. “No. But I also think you should call Andy whatever feels natural. You naturally called him that because at that moment that’s what he felt like to you. Baby, Andy adores and loves you, and doesn't not care what you call him. Unless it’s something like poppy head,” Audrey giggles, finally lifting up from your body.
“What about daddy?” She pouts. No matter what, this little girl adores her dad, and she’s already over concerned about Scott’s opinion. “Won’t he be mad?”
“We don’t have to tell daddy if you don’t want to. Daddy never has to know. I don’t want you to stress about this. You’re four, almost five,” Scott is going to keep on and turn your precious child into a neurotic clam.
Her little fingers pet over your shirt, looking like she’s up to something. Her sly smile is so cute that you just want to give her a hard kiss on her cheek. “Can we go to Paris for my birthday?”
“No,” you answer quickly. Traveling out of the country with ‘Scott’s children’ would be out of the question. Going to Paris before her birthday would be even more so with planning alone. “Pick somewhere else to go.”
“Nini and Poppy’s?”
“That’s what I’m hoping to do for Thanksgiving. What about something around here?”
A finger taps on her chin, humming so sweetly while she thinks. “Can we go to the aquarium, and soft play, and then pizza, and then go to a movie?”
“I think that sounds like a magical day. Who do you want to go?”
“Our family,” you want to squeeze her so tight. Her sweetness comes out of her, and you need to preserve these little moments. “You, and me, and Suedey, and Andy,” you nod your head. Pressing a kiss to her forehead before placing her back in her seat. She’s making you oddly over emotional, and it feels so confusing and overwhelming, and you love it.
“Audrey, you are the cutest, most sweetest little girl I’ve ever met, you know that?”
“Yes, I do,” she gives you a little giggle, returning to her PlayDoh. You happen to glance at it a moment. “Is this what the judge’s bench looks like,” you finally understand Andy’s frustration with this.
“Audi, why don’t you make a cupcake instead.”
“No, I gotta learn.”
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Waking up without the kids feels so awful. Yes, you have your wonderful boyfriend-fiance, and you refuse to call him fiance until he gives you a ring. And while waking up without them at home with you is better with Andy, due to the distraction, but it still sucked. The only good thing is having Andy prance around nearly naked.
He loves to keep the doors locked, the blinds closed, and walk around with his cock out all day. It’s like he’s teasing you. And you have no problem partaking. He really likes it when you’re naked or at least topless. Especially topless cooking, like now.
You’re being cheeky teenagers again, except without so many restrictions. Standing over the pot of soup, you giggle as Andy comes up behind you with his hands on your tits. He looks over your shoulders softly petting around your nipple. His smile is infectious as he pebbles the sensitive skin. “You’re so,” a lewd moan ripples through your throat, and you back your ass into his cock.
“Fuck me.”
“Sensitive,” Andy gives your nipples a hard pinch, and twirls you around to look at him, and you immediately cup his cock, and he meets your energy, except he shoves two fingers into your warmth, and you whimper, “You’re fucking soaked,” he’s shocked at how ready you are for him.
“I’m fucking horny,” you whine, grinding over his fingers like a bitch in heat. You’re so needy for him right now.
“Yeah, no shit, Doe. You are leaking out, and making a mess on your thighs. What has got you worked up?” His voice is laced with so much hunger for you. My god, this man and that cock you can have whenever you want. And you want immediately. “You’re so fucking messy.”
You can’t stop it. There’s something about his voice that sounds accusatory. And you’re fucking horny. You want to have sex, you don’t want to have a lecture. The soup is simmering and not ready. The kids aren’t here. And you want to be fucked so hard you fall asleep again.
“Maybe if my boyfriend didn’t walk around the damn house with his dick swinging around,” he grimaces at the word boyfriend and the way you emphasized it. “Get hard!”
“Make me,” you’re a bit irritated at him, but not enough to refuse making him hard. You sink to your knees, and take his hardening cock into your hand. You kiss over his member. Looking up at him with the sweetest face that you can muster. You’re not sweet. You’re a goddamn whore for Andy Barber.
“You are a horny little slut, hmm?” Shimmying your shoulders, you nod your head with a smile. Sucking his cock into your mouth so you can suck and use your tongue to massage him. Moaning as he turns to steel in your mouth. “Fuck. You seriously are a master with your mouth. My fiance looks amazing just like this. Taking my cock just like she was made to do.”
What? You pull off his cock slowly, and stare up at him scowling, “What?” He asks, mouth hanging open looking at you.
“Seriously?”
He furrows his brows, and you lose patience. Leaning back on your heels, he asks that stupid question again, “What, Doe?” You don’t say anything, just move to stand. “No. You stay and talk to me. What is your deal?”
Your deal? He grabs your arm, but you shrug him off, and march away from him. “Doe!” You keep walking away from him, but he doesn’t let up. Using your real name, and it hurts for some reason. The vitriol reaction you have to hearing him say a name that everyone calls you. Doe is special to him. His little deer.
“Do not call me that, Andy Barber!”
“I seriously have no idea what is going on right now,” of course he wouldn’t. Because he didn’t understand anything. And currently neither do you.
“Ugh!” Spinning back on your heels, you walk away. Again. Heading towards the bedroom. The two of you look utterly ridiculous; you wearing nothing but cheeky panties, and him completely nude with a hard on. Serves him right. Maybe he can have blue balls because the free show is over now. He needs to gravel, and plead.
“I sound stupid!” You scream at yourself, and you fall onto the bed like a petulant child. You sound like a toddler, and still you can’t stop the weird feeling. It’s not anger as much as it’s complete frustration. You can’t make it stop. You want to be fucked. You want Andy to propose like he said he would. You want to move and live in a house that doesn’t have Scott’s name on it. You want your children to quit leaving you every other weekend.
You want Scott to quit throwing lame excuses over your head trying to scare and threaten you. You want him to stop fighting for full custody. You don’t want him to even have joint custody. You want your babies. And you want them with you and Andy.
“Baby,” Andy coos on your back. He peppers kisses all over your back, and you cry more. You’re trying to be mad at him! “Honey, tell me what’s wrong?”
“I hate him,” he doesn’t have to see your face to know your crying. Your trembling body tells him.
“That’s not what set this off. Tell me what made you angry at first,” was it not Scott? Or is everything just rushing at you at once?
“You’re a liar,” you sound like a child. Audrey doesn’t whine as much as you are.
“I am not.”
“You said you were going to propose for real, and you haven’t,” make it stop. Go back to blaming Scott. You sound like an entitled asshole. Andy said he had a ring, and he said he was going to propose, and he will.
“I called you my fiance,” his voice is so soft, and understanding, but it kind of ticks you off again, and you try to resist. You don’t want to make things worse.
“And I hate it here. I hate that he takes our babies away every other weekend, and I only get to see their faces a little bit. Or when Suede tries to text from his ‘mini’ iPad, and it’s just emojis. And I love that you help him potty. And I’m so horny,” Andy chuckles on your back. He uses his feet to push legs apart.
His thick fingers start teasing through your weeping cunt, and another alarm goes off, “You’re trying to change the subject.”
“You just said you were horny, so I’m going to fuck you, and then we can talk about everything else like adults.”
“You fuck me from behind to much,” he growls. Actually growls on your body. “Andy!” His hands grip you tight before flipping you over on your back, and stepping in between your legs. He moves aside your panties, and you know how stupid it sounds inside your head, but you can’t stop it. “Are you seriously trying to fuck me like some bitch you met at the club without taking her panties off?”
He gives you the most angry grin you’ve ever seen. Tight lipped and irritated when he rips the damn things off, “Those were my favorite panties.”
“No, they weren’t,” you gawk at him. “No. No, they weren’t. Your favorite ones are those pink ones. They cover your full ass, and there’s something about the way they just don’t move on your body, so you’re not tugging them around all day,” you really gawk at him. He’s right. “And when we sleep, your ass cheeks hang out just the tiniest bit and I want to bite each one. So not only are they comfortable on you, they look amazing on, or on the floor.”
Andy crashes into your whiny ass warmth, and your back lifts off the bed. “Now, I don’t know what set you off, or why you’re being so unreasonable but I want to talk about it.”
“I want you to fuck me!” He pulls himself all the way out before slamming into so hard. “Fuck me!”
“I am!” He does it again. And again until your eyes start to crash. “I am your partner, and I want to listen to what’s bothering you.”
“Everything!” He stalls his movements, before leaning over you. His hands in a fist to hold his weight off you just enough. But you want to feel him on you. You want to feel that slight pressure and weight, and know that he’s there, “Everything. I don’t know how to explain it, and I don’t know how to talk about it. I spent so many years sucking up my problems because I didn’t have a real job, and he did. You don’t want to hear about my problems because you’re busier than me.”
“I do,” you shake your head no, but Andy grips onto your chin tightly. His hips slowly push and pull him out of your warmth. You really are a damn teenager. Can’t have an adult conversation without needing your boyfriend-fiancé’s cock inside of you, and all you can do is cry and shake your head. “Doe, I want to hear everything. We are partners. When you don’t feel well, I don't feel well. I want you to be happy because that makes my days better.”
“I don’t want him to have our babies,” you said it again without any hesitation. You want Andy to have your children. You would ask him to adopt them today if you knew it was possible.
He nods his head. His rhythm is still so steady, “The custody hearing is getting closer,” it isn’t a question, but you nod your head. He knows that’s part of what’s bothering you, “Honey, I’m not going to let anyone take the kids from us.”
“You can’t promise that,” Andy leans forward, and kisses each cheek, pulling back you notice the shine on his lips. “Did you just kiss my tears away?”
“I did. That’s what I want. I want to kiss away all your tears, and I want us to be okay. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” tears steadily flow down your face, and he keeps kissing over your cheeks, and it doesn’t help. Except those tears stop hurting so much. You’re now crying because you’re so happy with the right partner. “Honey, I love you.”
“I love you,” your words bubble over. He’s so perfect, and you’re just not. You’re not a superhuman, you’re not the thinnest, the most beautiful, the smartest, but you know you’re a damn good mom, and you were a good wife to an asshole. But you could be the best wife to Andy. “I want to marry you.”
“You’ve got to get divorced first,” you snort. Finally sounding happier than sadder. He smiles, kissing you gently. “I’ll marry you the day after if that’s what you want.”
“It was always you,” you may sound silly. You two may argue over the stupidest things. But it was always him. “I’m sorry that I’m a child sometimes.”
“You’re normally not,” he bites his lip as he pounds into you quickly. “Now, hold — fucking hell!” He yells, slamming his hand on your phone. “You’re answering it.”
“You are fucking me,” giggling, you read his name, and know why Andy wants you to answer.
“And I’ll keep fucking you. So you better listen to little Scottie the first time,” whimpering, you shake your head no.
“Just finish quickly.”
“I don’t want to, I want to take my time. Answer it.”
Groaning, you click on the phone, “Hey,” Andy is an asshole. He keeps a slow rhythm into your body. “What are you needing?”
“Why do you sound sniffly?”
“My allergies have been irritating me lately,” you can feel his eyes roll, “What’s up?”
“Taylor is wanting to throw Audrey a party,” he blurts out. You don’t hate Taylor. But you don’t think Taylor is capable of throwing Audrey a birthday party either. Plus, she’s got the celebration one in her classroom, and doesn’t love large crowds. “She wants to give her a party at an event center with clowns.”
“She’s terrified of clowns, and characters in costumes,” she likes her characters 2D.
“She’s not over that yet?”
“Are you over your fear of sharks?” Scott huffs. “I’m listening. What else?” Andy pistons into your body so hard that you have to slap your hand over your mouth to keep a sound of deep satisfaction from escaping. “Jerk!”
“Just have Taylor’s family,” why? “And a few kids from her classroom,” a few can range to a large number. “She wants a caterer.”
“For a five year old?” You already see what Taylor is doing. She wants her family there, so she can show off how much her boyfriend can spend on silly little things like a birthday party.
“Not everybody wants to make everything by hand like you, Ms. Perfect,” you know Andy is aware of everything that Scott is saying. It’s why he grits his teeth as he pounds into your body balls deep, and lets the tip of his cock settle against your cervix sweetly. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” just having the best sex with the deepest penetration.
“You’re panting.”
“I just got off the treadmill,” just getting fucked.
“Honey, it’s not baby weight anymore, Suede is two,” another harsh move into you, and Andy’s face starts to turn red. Angry with Scott’s unnecessary harsh words.
“She wants to go to Paris.”
“Absolutely not. I’m not paying for that shit.”
You roll your eyes. Scott seriously didn’t understand, nor were you asking him to pay for anything. “She’s obsessed with Madeline. Why not do a Parisian theme. But for fuck’s sake, can the two of you make sure that Suede can have everything there? You know how kids are.”
“You could keep him that day.”
Andy bites your neck slightly too hard, “Ow.”
“What?” Andy growls on your skin. “Oh god, did I upset Andrew?” No, he’s pissing you off.
“You upset me. Either Suede goes, or you don’t need to throw a party for Audrey,” he starts to say something, but you speak louder, “That’s his sister, and you know the special bond that they have. Either you include Suede in the festivities, or you don’t do it. Audrey will want to talk about it, and it won’t be fair to our son.”
“He’s fucking two years old, he won’t remember it.”
You lift up on your elbows, throwing all caution to the wind when you grab Andy’s ass, and pull him deeper into you. You wink at your fiance. “Do you think he doesn’t know the disdain that you have for him? How you won’t even spend the goddamn time to help him pee in the potty while he’s there? Do you think Audrey doesn’t tell me about the giggling you and Taylor did when he cried because he had an accident that smelled. Shit stinks, you asshole. Even your precious Taylor’s. So either you have a party that Suede can fully be a part of, or don’t bother throwing a party that she doesn’t even want anyways.”
Andy moans, and Scott whispers an expletive. You hope that Scott knows that you’re getting ground into with the biggest cock right now. Andy pushes into you faster. Harder. “Is there a problem, Scott?”
“You can be a bitch sometimes. Just didn’t realize it until after we split.”
“And you can be an asshole sometimes. I always knew it, but I overlooked it for some reason. And if I ever hear about you and Taylor making a comment about Suede’s shitty diaper again…” Andy pushes into you so hard, your eyes roll into the back of your head. You can’t make threats. “He’s a baby, and we are teaching him to potty train. If you don’t want to change diapers, do the same at your house.”
“He’s with you more.”
“Consistency is the key. Is that all?” His side is silent, minus the heavy breathing. You can hear his finger tapping on something. His annoying fucking habit when he gets angry. Fucking asshole. He’s a little bitch. Having to make a two year old feel bad for an accident in his diaper to make him feel superior.
“Audrey shouldn’t — are you,” he pauses. You’ve stunned him into silence, and he doesn’t even know what to say, “What do you want?”
“I want you to treat both our children the same. I want you to treat Suede like he’s your son, and that you love him. I want you to be just as proud of him as you are of Audrey. I want you to stop pushing the responsibilities of our children onto Taylor. I want my son to come home happy. I don’t want him to see me, and not want to let go of me for a few hours. Mmm,” Andy really is an asshole for pushing into you so deep that you can’t stop the sound of bliss.
Scott knows. He knows that Andy is giving it to you so good, and when you get off the phone that Andy is going to fuck you like a slut. “Andy told you to write,” he sighs. Yes, Andy and you have been writing down every indiscretion to your children that he does, “I just can’t connect with him.”
“What are you saying?” Your fingers dig into Andy’s ass. You're angry. You’re pissed. You’re ready to kill your ex.
“I don’t,” he’s choosing his words carefully. You wish he would just rip the bandaid off. “He’s not an easy child. Audrey is. I had bonding time with her. And then…”
“And then my postpartum depression cramped your sex life. And then our son became the number one man in my life. And then our son was sick all the time. You never even tried to connect with him. You never even noticed that I was drowning. All you cared about was getting your dick wet. So my advice to you is to make sure you don’t knock Taylor up, because you can’t handle anything with a penis being put above you. Is that all?”
“Fuck you. You are so self righteous. You act like you’re the perfect fucking parent, and nobody is ever going to compare to you. I hope Andy enjoys trying to please someone who is impossible to please,” you moan again. Having to bite on Andy’s arm. “You fucking slut. How dare you fuck that asshole while you’re talking to me!”
“My fucking slut,” Andy grunts before reaching to your phone, and ending the call. “After this court hearing, and when it’s determined about the kids,” he stops himself. His thrusts are angry. “Do you realize I want to,” you cover his mouth with your hand, shaking your head.
“Do not say that. I just want our,” you smile at him, letting him know that it’s not an accident when you say our, “babies. Oh god,” he ruts into you, and your body becomes soft for him. Pliable to his every move, and you stare at the man that didn’t even have to try, and he reached your ‘impossible’ standards. Scott is wrong. And you’re never going to allow him to hurt your self esteem ever again.
The only thing you want is to know that your babies are safe, and in a loving environment. And if he can’t provide that for them, he might as well just give up trying to fight for them. He only fights for them because it hurts you. But his fight is becoming stale. The only thing he’s holding onto is his pride. Knowing that Audrey could be his legacy, and never thinking that his son could. He wants you to hurt. He wants to shove something in Andy’s face. And all at the expense of his children.
One of these days, he’ll give up on the fight. And when he does, you know that Andy won’t hesitate to pick up those pieces, and be willing to adopt both children, and legally become their father. It’s in knowing a man. It’s knowing that even when you’re acting ridiculous in an argument, that Andy isn’t going to stop. That he’s not going to make some snarky comment that kills your self worth.
He crashes his lips into yours, and the two of you pant. Breathing in each other’s air. Entangling your bodies together in the most beautiful sin. One of these days you won’t have to worry about these conversations. You won’t have to worry about the bane of your existence. You’ll be able to sleep every other weekend because you know that your children are in a safe home.
He presses his forehead against yours while he drives his cock into you so hard. Fusing his body with yours. You can’t look away from his beautiful eyes. Can’t think of anything more besides the fact that Andy is the most beautiful human. Andy is the epitome of a perfect man. Not just in looks, even though he really is the best. But the fact that he isn’t toxic, and he’s all man.
His eyes darken, and his body tightens, “I’m there, Andy.”
“I know, honey,” his salacious moan has your body setting on fire. He’s so vocal during sex that you never have to worry if it truly feels good for him, or if you’re just ‘doing your wifely duties’. “I feel your walls pulsing around me. Squeezing me so tight. Let. Go,” breathing him in, you let every wall fall down as euphoria races through you. Your cunt clenches down around him, and you mewl out his name. Thick. Hot ropes of cum shoot into your pussy, and Andy’s body melts on top of your own.
You just breathe. You soak him all up. Every last drop of him. This will be the one that takes. You know it will be. You furrow your brows as you look up at the ceiling. Counting in your head. Are you even ovulating? Are you…?
“Hey,” he pops up from your chest, smiling, and you forget all the counting. He’s so pretty after sex. “Tomorrow when we go to pick up the kids. There’s somewhere special I want to show you.”
“What is it?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Andy!”
“Doe!”
“Daddy!” He covers your mouth with his hand.
“Woman, being called daddy by you is not my thing. I know you’re doing it to make me cringe. But I just had the best sex of my life, and pissed off a little wanna be man in the process. Let me revel in that fact, and also the fact that your cunt is so full of me that your eyes are swimming,” you shake your head no. His hand is still covering you, but he knows you're smiling.
“Yeah, you’re swimming in Andy cum and Andy dick.”
“I love swimming in Andy.”
“Andy just loves you,” and with that, he kisses you softly. Savoring the different taste of you after sex. He could tell you about all the things that are different about you, but he’ll save it. He won’t be able to save it for too much longer. You’re just being too silly and stressed to realize.
Next
Masterlist
Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai
@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989
@pandaxnienke @kmm-fluv @rogersbarber @theinheriteddutchess @buckybarnesisdaddy @hisredheadedgoddess28
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risingsoleil · 22 hours ago
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Sorry if this is too nsfw. Linzin making dinner together and Tenzin decides to ahem eat out Lin while he waits for it to finish cooking in the oven 👀
Post-canon Linzin 🖤 one of the moments Pema walks in on Linzin from this ask
Lin is doing most of the cooking and Tenzin says that he would be her assistant. But he's just in the way of everything.
She's chopping green onions and Tenzin wraps his arms around her waist, kissing her neck.
"Tenzin, you better stop before I stab you."
"I don't mind," he whispers against her skin.
"If someone walks in on us again, I'm throwing you out."
"But this island is mine."
"Not unless I take over."
He chuckles and releases her. "Fine."
Fortunately, he doesn't have to wait long for a break. Lin covers the stew and sets a timer. It should simmer for about an hour before they can serve it for dinner.
Lin soaks all the dishes and then turns around, raising a brow at the airbender. "An hour...what ever shall we do to fill the time?"
"I know what I can fill you up with..." Tenzin groans, pulling her flush against his body and picking her up bridal style. "You've been teasing me for the past few days, I have so much for you."
"Don't be dramatic. I let you tie me up and have your way with me the other night."
He carried her to the private dining room and laid her gently on the table. "That's too long." Tenzin spread her legs and pulled Lin's trousers down.
His fingers stroked her folds, circling Lin's clit gently. Lin moaned softly into the air, raising her hips slightly. Two fingers entered Lin and then Tenzin lowered his head to feast on his soulmate. Lin gripped the back of his head, pushing him further into her while his tongue licked every drop of her essence and arousal.
He pumped his fingers into her, drawing more and more drops of Lin's arousal on to his tongue.
Both were so caught up in the moment of personal bliss, that they didn't hear the footsteps of someone approaching.
Lin heard the gasp.
Lin lifted her head, her vision slightly blurred on the acolyte. They all dress the same and her aging eyes aren't as good as they used to be. But then the blurriness dies down and she sees brown hair tied back into a low ponytail....
"Pema?"
Tenzin, completely unaware of anything, continued to bury his face in between Lin's legs. "I don't want to hear about her." His tongue dipped into Lin and she cried out. "Sing for me properly, honey."
Before Lin could do anything, Pema ran off with her face red. Did she have tears in her eyes? Lin couldn't tell and then Tenzin started that deadly move of sucking on her clit.
Within moments, Lin's shrill voice echoed beyond the dining room and caught up to the escaping acolyte.
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edmunderson · 2 months ago
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BLACK: I feel like... I joined EVO too hastily. I wanted to actually do something with my life. But I feel like destruction follows me everywhere I go.
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BLACK: I don't know why I thought this time would be different. I don't know why I thought... I could help anyone at all. People get made different. I'm not some fucking hero.
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BOSTON: You've helped me...
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BLACK: That... that comes naturally to me, at least.
Reanimated Heart
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deus-ex-mona · 4 months ago
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such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨
#(please forgive this old folk’s rambling for a hot min bc i need to get this off my chest somehow and in some way)#tl;dr: come and get into the hw idol series!!! we have ship discourse; more ship discourse; even more ship discourse#(yes ik people should be free to ship what they do b u t claiming a noncanon ship as canon and forcing it on everyone else is. not cool.)#yes yes friday’s mv was visually cute and ino.rin’s singing was peak b u t i feel like it has caused more harm than good in some way???#i cant b e l i e v e the jp hwtwt beef over friday’s mv is still going on mannnnnnnnn#no less than 3 separate people have made posts along the lines of#‘p l s stop using [official tags] to post about *[unnamed] non-official ships* p l s there’s a time and place for everything’#and n o n e of them even remotely run in the same circles yet they’re all banded together against a *certain* group lmfao never change hwtwt#lhy (esp yhy) shippers are always at the scene of the crime mannnnnnn#i cant see anything on their end of the naval battle (has every single lhy tag+account that i could think of blocked)#b u t it’s still really funny to witness on my twtdash against my will. i think i need to touch grass#‘kyhn isn’t canon either so why do you like it while being such a hater towards lhy—‘#great question!!!!!! it’s bc (disregarding the movie) they actually interact really well together~~~ like the honeypre event y k—#and also bc yukki treats hina really nicely all the time (even when she was being tsun and literally running from her feelings for him)#a n d hina loved him for who he truly was; even before his image change arc. and she also does her best to appeal to him and such~~~~~~~#but lhy. uh. they just bully hiyo 95% of the time and while they do look out for her bc they’re pals#they’re just pals. guys. and lxl have gone ‘uwu it must be u uwu’ to each other one too many times so shoehorning hiyo between them would.#be pretty weird ngl? esp since the ‘widely accepted’ portrayal of lhy as a trio is p much just hiyo x 2 dudes who dont even like each other#and. like. a branch of such portrayals usually seem to have aizo waft away from the ‘r/s triad’ to date mona instead which is. very weird.#some people just pick and choose aizo and mona interactions dont they. all they see is the umbrella scene and go ‘ah yes. canon’#they dont even read further to see how mona doesn’t even use the umbrella after aizo leaves (clear rejection)#a n d how aizo doesn’t even remember giving the umbrella to mona + mona’s entire existence in general after that#and that’s not even counting the grudge mona refuses to let go of even after what looks to be literal months#so for certain shippers to just casually shoo aizo out of the hiyoharem and into mona’s unwilling arms for the sake of yhy is. weird.#and like. shouldn’t he and yujiro have a say in this?? they’re more interested in each other than hiyo so just how are they being commonly#portrayed as hiyosimps in fanon? im so confused… like. wouldn’t they be equally obsessed with each other (as w/ hiyo) if they were a rstrio?#aaaaaa get this off my twtdash plsssssssss pls see this post twtapp pls let this affect your dumb algorithm im tired of the ship discourseee#as funny as the ‘lhy vs the world’ naval warfare is it’s getting. um. very annoying!!!! and now im missing nagisa more than ever s o b s#plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls influence the algorithm ragepost; ik big brother is 👀watching👀 so do your thing—#(pls feel free to duke it out with me too if y’all read this i need my birdsite algorithm to le a r n that i dont wanna see stuff like this)
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glitterghost · 1 year ago
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Not me (finally) buying a physical copy of 2005's Pride & Prejudice because I don't trust streaming companies to not take away whatever digital version I might purchase.
(Okay, yeah, it's totally me!)
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good-beans · 1 year ago
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ack for some reason your reblogs stopped appearing on my activity feed o.O just noticed you reblogged something from me hours ago and I was so confused
anyways i might as well give milgram thoughts (which is me just rambling) since i'm here!! keep thinking abojt the mahiru and orekoto snippet thign it's judt oh man . . . . i wonder how kazui or yuno would feel about orekoto, not because violence or something, but because he actually speaks up about his opinions and doesn't smile and pretend like everything is fine like mikoto
i mean kazui already has a weird first impression on orekoto if we imagine he did break up the fight between kotoko and orekoto! but orekoto is so much more open about his opinions on stuff that would kazui be like huh maybe I should try to do something like that
and i mean i think yuno already called mikoto out once so it'd be interesting to see her feelings on how orekoto is like so open about everything
AND i know you asked for fuuta thoughts and I'm just rambling about orekoto and his interactions because of that snippet, so I guess I should probably say something about fuuta and orekoto now! honestly i'm not too sure his reaction would be? i can't tell if fuuta would be afraid of orekoto because he's worried he'd get beaten up by him or just general annoyance from how blunt(?) he seems
anyways rambling over yippee!
(My notifs have been glitching too! It makes me so sad -_-)
Ahhh ty pal because YES -- Kazui would have gotten Such a wild first impression omg :0 Hmmm, he and Kotoko probably have a skewed perception of Orekoto because their first experience with him was such a violent one :( Though! If anyone were to see him at his worst and still think highly of him, it's the man that tried to hide his "shameful" true self only to have its presence kill someone...
I loooove the thought of Yuno appreciating his honesty and being like "finally, you stopped people pleasing like we talked about 😌 I'm so happy for you ✨️" I wonder if he'd inspire her to stand up for herself more vocally! Though she was very happy in her profession, it's clear she's made some unfair compromises/sacrifices at times, and I wonder if she'd change her mind on some things after hearing how fiercely he cares for himself. They'd be the take no crap duo of all time 👏
OUGH Fuuta being afraid because he doesn't quite understand his motivations ;--; And you're right, there'd definitely be a lot of jealousy that comes out in the form of annoyance -- Fuuta is so used to watchful eyes and perfect online performances that he can't stand someone who does whatever, whenever. Instead of getting inspired, he doubles down on what he's been conditioned with and Orekoto just pisses him off. (On a different note. I always pictured Fuuta idolizing Kotoko in T1 for her strength and sense of justice, but I wonder if that inner fanboy would transfer over to Orekoto after seeing him match strength with the person that just took his eye...)
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bunnyb34r · 5 months ago
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Finally started hacking away at the overgrown rose bushes and I'm so fucking exhausted and in pain 😭 bitch....
#i wasnt even doing a lot which is what makes me mad bc like i could see if i was doing the bushes yeah id be so tired but man#i wasnt even doing that much 😭 i did fill three lawn bags of clippings though and i hacked away the limbs that grab at the#sidewalk and the sides that grip onto you when you go to get the trash bins but theres still more i could do#i didnt wanna do TOO much but i wanted to make the petite rose bush less tall (its invasive to the area :( didn't learn that til this year#but if we hack away at it every year or so it's fine?? i mean its not like they throw seeds the same way say a maple tree would or like#poison ivy so it's not SPREADING out new plants it's just a monster sgdgdgd) anyway i wanted that to stop being so tall and#make it stop shading the flower boxes but i DID leave the now vacant birds nest covered so maybe another birdy will like it ... next year#sgdgdgdg since i think the major egg laying season is ending/over and most adult birds dont stay in a nest iirc like they find somewhere to#stay but the purpose of a nest is to keep babies in and safe but idk i could be wrong wgdgdggd#ANYWAYS i left that. the plant itself has burrs or whatever like these growths which you cannot completely#remove without just getting rid of the plant and starting over so we just leave it (doesnt seem to be hurting the 7ft spindly giant any)#i should hack away at the top of the 5 petal rose bush (also invasive iirc :( explains it's size sdgdgdgdg) so my garden can have more sun#but we'll see... 👀✂️#i feel like shit though agdgdgdg im tired of feeling like shit man
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h0neyfreak · 5 months ago
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***
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p2ii · 1 year ago
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ta da :33 the stitches are a bit shoddy but they hold so it doesn't matter. im thinking ill add either bikini kill or wire next
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fuck yes!!!!!it looks absolutely amazing!! and the blue compliments the flannel pattern really well :O!!!
dude this is gonna be such a cool flannel i can already feel it.
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(^^^shadow explode from awesome-ness)
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blueside-hobi · 2 years ago
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Thank you @seouldriftmp3 and @schnaf for the songs on repeat tags<3 you have both tagged me in different numbers of songs on repeat, so I'm just going to go with 10 (because that's the max audios I can have) and you guys should do it again if yours have changed since you last did it lmao
Bam - Bandage
2. Crybaby - Nanna
3. Dancer - LÉON
4. on the street (with J. Cole) - Jhope
5. Interlude: Wings - BTS
6. Cicak - CHS
7. Numb Bears - Of Monsters and Men
8. Festival - Herd
9. Difference in mood - Youthlim
10. Godzilla - Nanna
Tagging @jiminlikecrazy @seraphjimin @kimchokejin @clutterbugs @yearningsea @minieggukie @palpalopaloma @mindofnmn @joon-rkive @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered @bobagukks
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autistic-shaiapouf · 2 years ago
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Hello! It is me, the anxiety man. I can’t find the post so I don’t know how long ago you asked (thanks tumblr.) but for me Gastroparesis is mostly nausea and vomiting. Within an hour of eating I throw up most of my food a solid 80% of the time, prior to throwing up I am exceedingly nauseous; if I don’t throw up I am exceedingly nauseous (this is a lose/lose situation.) sometimes if I don’t throw up I throw up hours later (occasionally the next day ~13+hrs later) undigested food.
This is not everyone’s experience however, there are many with Gastroparesis who do not vomit at all. The best test is a Gastric Emptying Study (though be aware it can (rarely) give a false negative.)
I also have Dx’d hEDS, Orthostatic Hypotension (like PoTS but with a BP drop), and Autism (anecdotally comorbid w/ hEDS)
I hope you get answers (or depending on the age of your post, got answers :)
Hi, thank you so much for the response! Literally any info at all is helpful to me and being able to hear other people's experiences is incredibly useful.
Personal medical/health info under the cut ✌️
I definitely meet at least some of the criteria, but when it comes to the most common symptoms, like the nausea and vomiting you mention, I don't really find it effecting me so much? I also grew up with severe anxiety that made me nauseated, and I wonder if my aversion to actually vomiting for real might be a part of this. I DO get an acid-reflux type of feeling, with no pain or lead up, that consists solely of me throwing up in my mouth a little, and this had even happened on an empty stomach 😞
I technically haven't been medically tested for POTS, but I do exhibit all the symptoms + self tested with both a blood pressure cuff and heart monitor and easily met the criteria (63 bpm difference the first time I tried l m a o); my doc thinks hEDS is a strong possibility and so does my therapist, so I'm honing in on that and everything else associated with it. The anecdotal evidence of autism being comorbid is interesting! While I haven't had any official testing, it does fill in the gaps where my adhd doesn't and I've been genuinely considering that I may be autistic for at least a year or so now.
I've scheduled with my GP for early December and I'm gonna bring all my GI issues to the table; I know I struggle with feeling hungry and have struggled with meals, especially in the mornings, bc I just can't eat more than a few spoonfuls of whatever, with a lot of the issues going away if I'm solely eating liquids like soups or protein drinks U_U I also remember having periods of time where I have stomachaches after most meals, just like a dead weight in my abdomen U_U THOSE seem to coordinate with gastroparesis but it's like, my symptoms aren't violent enough to feel like they're under the diagnosis? Though that's also how I felt about POTS, until I read about people's experiences and then tested my own heart rate.
It's definitely a work in progress at the moment, but this is the most work I've ever been able to do in terms of finding answers for my health; here's hoping I actually do get some answers after all these years 🤞
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monstersflashlight · 3 months ago
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Here me out...scientists looking at fem!human lab rat getting fucked by a bunch of different monsters to study the different reactions of both the Monsters and the human 👀
We have serious mental issues guys...
Hi anon! We don't have mental issues, just great imagination.
When you applied for a job at a lab facility, you weren't expecting to be a monster's fleshlight. The job application specified absolutely nothing about it apart from saying you needed to be okay working with other species. And well, you were okay with that.
But the first day on the job, you found yourself being asked a bunch of weird questions, some of them very specific in its sexual nature. You didn't know what was happening, but you weren't too worried about it, what could happen? Maybe you should have asked.
When they finally explained to you that you'd be fucked by a bunch of different monsters and then you'd record a short video explaining how it felt and if you'd do it again, it was too late to back down. Not that you wanted to. You'd always been a bit of a freak, and seeing some other monsters at the facility only made you crave a different kind of experimentation. So it was like a match made in heaven. Or so you thought.
At first it was all good, they introduced you to the experiment with some aliens with a ridged dick and nice long fingers that made you come so many times you had to be helped back to your room after, your knees trembling and your pussy sore. The aliens were the same species as the scientists leading the research, and you wondered if he would join. He didn't the first day. They discovered you could be fucked multiple times by multiple dicks and still come.
The second day an orc and a minotaur appeared. Their dicks were pretty similar, and you had a great time riding both of them until you were filled to the brim over and over. That day they discovered that you could experiment what they called "cum inflation", your stomach distended because of the amount of cum shoot inside of you. You had to sit down and let the researcher finger everything out of you. He looked detached to it, but you came against his fingers once again.
The tentacle monster on the third day was fun. His big reproductive dick pushed into your hole as little tentacles played with your body. It was a weird sensation, but a good one. That day they discovered you could be stimulated at multiple points and that would make you come harder.
It continued like that for a few days, some monsters weird, some okay, but overall, it was such a great experience that the next day you were already dripping and hot when the werewolf entered. He stretched you with his claws and long tongue until you were crying out, just to push his fat dick inside of you until you were falling apart around him. Just to push his huge knot inside your dripping hole. You squirted all around him, making him laugh and a worried scientist come check on you.
The scientist could could have stopped everything that was happening, could have told the werewolf it was over... but instead he pinched your nipples as he pushed his alien dick in your mouth until you were gagging around him and his hips were fucking your face. It shouldn't have been as hot as it was. You came again, and again... And by the end of that session you were showered in alien and werewolf cum. You loved it.
They didn't discover anything that day, but you discovered your alien researcher had a bit of a thing for you, and he's like to explore it further.
Reminder that you can commission me (info here) or suscribe to my Patreon (info here). And that my second account is @whiskis
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spottyissleepwalking · 1 year ago
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as a fellow beenose enjoyer, i too was very happy to see more beenose fans! but unfortunately that user is like. not great. they’re against non-binary lesbians, and non-binary gays. which is funny, because beenose is SO non-binary lesbian coded to me… i might have to draw her with those flags myself, just for the funnies lol
Oh awesome 😀😀😀 always SO fun when that happens..
I absolutely agree though, Beenose is non-binary and a lesbian: you’ve heard it here first folks, from both tumblr users Spotty and Chimeraas, send tweet ✨
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aethelwyneleigh27 · 4 months ago
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Villain!Ghost x Pregnant!Wife!Reader
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Synopsis: Your husband wants your company..
A/n: GUYS OMG, I know it's been 1 month and a little more since my last official work. I've been procrastinating on this for so long since I only have less than a week till school again.. Also everyone I love on this app is just disappearing, like @ghost-cyphera just deleted her account 4 days ago and I got the notif but didn't see it in time, I didn't even get to say goodbye. Just wanted to apologize to you guys after being gone for so long as well. Also, another villain!Ghost drabble? 👀
Finding it difficult to walk was one of the least things you've suspected you'd be concerned of upon conceiving, always needing your handmaiden's help in such a mundane task was shameful to say the least but your husband insisted.
If it hadn't been the hand maiden then it would've been him instead, you couldn't keep him from his duties from the kingdom as he carried even yours. Wanting you to turn your attention to the health of the babe growing in you and especially yourself..
"My lady.." you were pulled out of your thoughts by the voice of your handmaiden. You took in a breath from the cool air that blew on your face as you stood by the stone railing..
"Yes, Leticia?" You turned to her..
"The prince consort has requested your company.." Leticia announced, you nod as you removed your hand from the cold stone. You glanced once more to the people of your kingdom, going about their day and life before gently lifting yourself off from leaning on the stone.
Leticia offered you her arm to help you walk more efficiently..
...
"You sent for me..?" You asked your husband, he was sat and signing another set of documents and scrolls. You closed the door, palms gently pushing till you heard it click.
"No, I told them to announce my arrival to you. How dare they exert my wife by giving her false instructions.." he huffed to which you laughed. He wouldn't do anything violent about it, as he so usually does with staff that don't comply but he knew it'd upset you if anything gory were to happen to them.
"I am quite alright, I need to move around too. It's proven to be good for our child." You said, sitting next to the graciously comfortable chair next to his working desk that he had someone make for you.
You felt relief from the pressure previously on your back, hand on the bump of your stomach and with that a sigh came from your lips. Peacefully watching your husband, the sound of the satisfying scratching of the quill on the crisp papers.
You felt his hand grasp yours, he pulled it, lips resting on the back. His affection made your heart beat faster and he felt it, the pad of his index finger on your wrist. The thumping made him chuckle as you smiled and leaned your head on his shoulder.
"You should rest for a while, my love. You'd work yourself to sickness at this point." You kiss his cheek softly. He put his quill down, "If that's my wife wants.." he said.
He wrapped his arm around you, the other hand placed on your baby bump. His thumb gently rubbing, you jolted a bit feeling a strong kick..
It made you groan, how restless the rascal is. Your husband adjusted his hand to feel the next kick.. he'd swear it was a girl, not that he'd care for that sort of thing. He'd kill for them either way, especially for you. He could stare at you all day, swollen with his child.
How glowing you looked wrapped in the finest silk and the gold and jewels in your hair and body clicking upon contact with another piece, he wished he could tell you how utterly speechless you'd leave each man by just walking passed them but to him no word is enough to describe you.
At least he could spend these small intimate moments with just you and you alone, free of the world for even just a few minutes as he needed a break from the work he very much was eager to do to be able to receive praise from his wife..
My CoD Masterlist
Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @callsignsnowpunisher @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo @duck-a-doodle
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years ago
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tfw you’re indecisive af
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