#if you see my tg verse no the FUCK you do not

[pesterloglog]

Calliope, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 5089-5094

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

UU: i can't see yoU, bUt yoU mUst be back by now, yes?

TG: y

TG: and i am how haxxing up storm

TG: p stank by

TG: *stand

UU: haxxing? :u

TG: u dont even no

TG: my fingers are the mean lil beaks

TG: of furirus woodpeckers

TG: and my keyboard

TG: is a pitiful plank of cruddy wood

TG: guarding a trove of tasty bungs

TG: it is guarding them i might add

TG: moist fucking unsuccessfully

UU: u~u

TG: as my digits rain danger

TG: on this hapless lamptop

TG: the result of my tappy onslaught

TG: is line after wicked line

TG: of leetfilthy codes

TG: aka..

TG: the governments worst nightmare

UU: Um...........

TG: i will be in an out

TG: of the systerm

TG: before breakfast knows what ate it

TG: JACKPOP BABBY

TG: im am ur cryptogodress 8)

UU: roxy?

TG: it is womon verse machine

TG: a struggle old as stuff itself

TG: she will bring sburb to its knees

TG: and then turn

TG: with her shitwreckingest face

TG: and stare

TG: into the void

TG: and the void

TG: will wonk first

TG: ;3

UU: i don't Understand.

UU: yoU are typing some sort of compUter program?

TG: no

TG: that was all mostly a huge load

TG: all that noisy keyboard bangin i just mentioned

TG: was me just typing all that shit i said 2 u

TG: lol i did type it superfast tho

TG: just like they do in dumb fake movies about primo hackers who r THA BEST

TG: i guess i hacked into our conversation? w/ bs nstead of codez

UU: ^u^;

TG: but for real

TG: im just drag & dropin some game shit in to jakes place

TG: it is easy as a butt

TG: this kiddie game is a waste of my baller expertise

TG: * sexpertities

TG: / obligatory

TG: hey look

TG: a 'totem lathe'

TG: kay w/e

TG: BONK

TG: down it goes

TG: in that patch off dirt i guess

TG: daaang

TG: fits on that patch o dirt like

TG: a glass shitting slipper

TG: NEXT ??

UU: ah, i Understand. yoU're beginning then. good!

TG: yes im on a roll

TG: gettin my peeps outie

TG: splitting the ball b4 junk turns 2 pumpkins

TG: soooooooooo

TG: what were you going to give me back there? ;D

UU: right!

UU: it's a present i made for yoU.

TG: ooh!

UU: it coUld be...

UU: a farewell gift actUally.

TG: huh?

TG: are u leaving

UU: maybe.

UU: i am aboUt to go to sleep one last time before oUr schedUled entry.

UU: and there is a very real possibility that i will never wake Up.

TG: oh no!

TG: why!!!

UU: it is complicated.

UU: there is mUch to say aboUt it which i have never told yoU, dUe to my adherence to the rUles.

UU: some of which i am aboUt to break now, in order to give myself a fighting chance.

UU: bUt before i go down that serpentine path with yoU, here.

UU: one last bit of artwork from an admirer. something to remember me by, shoUld we never speak again.

UU: http://tinyurl.com/roxyisthisyoU

TG: !!!!!

TG: ssdlkjfs;lkfjdlskfj

TG: ohhhly SHIT

TG: *hooooooly

TG: holiest of shits

TG: the shit.....

TG: is down right

TG: SACROSANCT

TG: omgogmogmomog

TG: this owns

TG: my bones

UU: ^U^

TG: look at my outfit

TG: want 2 wear that outfit

TG: want 2 kiss + marry that outfist

TG: look

TG: at that lollipop

TG: that fuckin LOLLIPOP

TG: hehhe look at me goin in 4 a lick

TG: like im the queen of fuckall yall

TG: what is that in my hair

TG: is that

TG: COTTONE CANDY????

UU: indeed it is!

TG: say helloes to new phone wallpp

TG: sry baby eatin jake husband u r out

TG: /DIVORCE'D

TG: yes perfection

TG: more like

TG: perferection

TG: is what is givin me

TG: am getting the perfbonerz up in here

UU: i really enjoy drawing yoU. it is a treat.

UU: yoU are jUst so pretty. :u

TG: awwwwwwwwww

TG: <3<3<#<#<##

TG: hearts n hashes

UU: anyway, i am very pleased that yoU like my drawing. ~u~

TG: i love it

TG: i love U

TG: U x2 combot

UU: yoU do?

UU: really??

TG: yes

TG: fo rillies

UU: :U

UU: blimey.

UU: this comes as qUite a sUrprise.

TG: well i mean

TG: not like lets got get space married love

TG: more like ur the best and i like you a lot love

UU: oh.

UU: then the conciliatory type. i Understand.

TG: wait

TG: i didnt mean to jerk you around...

TG: did u feel that way about me

TG: aww shit im sorry :(

UU: no! don't be.

UU: trUst me, that is not how i feel aboUt yoU. or anyone.

UU: thoUgh i trUly wish i were capable of those feelings.

UU: perhaps the fact that i am not is why the topic fascinates me so.

UU: and why i have been prone do indUlge in sUch...

UU: fancifUl visUalizations.

UU: of yoUr people's lovely bright red relationships.

UU: they mUst be nice. u_u

TG: lol well its not like i would know either way

TG: but thats cool i didnt know that about you

TG: i dont know ANYTHING about u but i wish i did

TG: cant you at least tell me your name bfore you uh

TG: maybe go ways 4 ever? ;(

UU: yes, as a matter of fact.

UU: that is actUally the reason i am contacting yoU.

UU: it is one rUle i have decided to break.

TG: oh fuck!

TG: what is it!!!!!!!

UU: my name is calliope.

TG: :o

TG: .....

TG: ilike it :3

UU: it feels so strange to type that!

UU: bUt also good, actUally.

TG: well ty for finally confiding in me calilope

TG: *calliope sorrey

UU: yoU're welcome. it is good to get it off my chest.

UU: bUt i am primarily telling yoU this as a last resort, in hopes of saving myself.

UU: yoU see, this rUle between me and my brother is a kind of trUce.

UU: we have both agreed not to say oUr names to anyone so that things will not get oUt of hand, and so it became one of the rUles.

UU: if anyone were to say his name to me, i woUld immediately fall asleep, and he woUld wake Up.

UU: so yoU will Understand if i refrain from telling yoU his as well. ~_u

TG: so

TG: hes sleeping now?

UU: yes, fortUnately for both of Us.

UU: now, chronologically speaking, i have never contacted yoU after this moment.

UU: so if i never wake Up from my next nap, yoU will never hear from me again.

UU: if yoU do not hear from me later, i woUld very mUch appreciate it if yoU coUld message my brother, and say my name.

UU: it may be the only chance i have to wake Up again.

TG: fuuuck

TG: this is highly terrible and scary stuff youre saying

TG: but yes ill def do that

UU: splendid!

UU: <kisses>

TG: shit now i wish we had more time to talk

TG: quick what otter rules were you going 2 break

TG: spill it cali!!

UU: i want to!

UU: it is overwhelming, trying to be cavalier aboUt rUles i have respected all my life. i'm not sUre where to begin.

TG: well

TG: what i wonder is

TG: you said you couldnt have romantic feelings

TG: or "red relations" as you said in your trolly way

UU: oh, i can have romantic feelings.

UU: jUst not the flUshed kind, which hUmans describe as romantic love.

TG: ok but

TG: i didnt think that was alien to you

TG: not the way u made it sound

TG: like dont trolls have the 4 kinds and one kind is just staight up love feelins

UU: yes, that's right.

UU: bUt...

UU: oh bUgger. this is so embarrassing to have to admit.

UU: i am sorry for saying things which may have reasonably led yoU to believe this.

UU: probably way too many things. u_u;

UU: bUt i am not actUally a troll.

TG: o

TG: rrrrrelay

UU: i have never actUally claimed to be. bUt i'm sUre i have implied it, probably dUe to wishfUl thinking.

UU: i have spent so mUch time wishing i coUld be one.

UU: trolls are a remarkable and fascinating race.

UU: hUmans are too, please don't get me wrong!

UU: bUt i am oUt and oUt smitten with trolls and their history and ways.

UU: they have sUch amazing, coloUrfUl social dynamics that soUnd like so mUch fUn to be a part of.

UU: and they are so beaUtifUl.

UU: i wish i coUld be that pretty.

UU: UnfortUnately, i am not very attractive at all.

UU: sad to say, no one woUld kiss the corpse i will leave behind.

UU: even if there were someone aroUnd to revive me, i doUbt they woUld be inclined to bother.

UU: for, er... several reasons, actUally.

UU: bUt really, it was always for the best that i cannot have fUlly flUshed feelings.

UU: no one coUld ever love me.

TG: oh man no!!!

TG: that is not true

UU: it is.

UU: and it's for the best that no one has ever seen my face, aside from my brother.

TG: but i want 2 c u

TG: i proimise i wont think you look bad or judge you

UU: no.

UU: i am sorry.

TG: :(

TG: then what kinda alien are you

TG: wait dont tell me youre ACUTALLY from urnanus??

UU: heehee. no.

UU: that jUst happened to be a planet from yoUr system i thoUght was lovely.

UU: i was particUlarly strUck by its UniqUe rotation.

UU: it has very nice...

UU: bollocks, what's the word.

UU: the term that refers to a ball's topspin?

TG: ???

UU: it doesn't matter.

UU: bUt no, i'm not even from yoUr Universe, let alone a nearby planet.

UU: my species has never even had a home planet.

TG: what species are u

UU: i am a cherUb!

TG: omg

TG: that is

TG: amazing?

TG: like u have wings or such

UU: no!

UU: i doUbt i am what yoU're pictUring.

UU: bUt aside from a few sUperficial similarities, we are very different from trolls and hUmans.

UU: we are not a social race. we generally will not ever encoUnter another of oUr kind, Unless it is time to mate.

UU: and when that time comes, oUr coUrtship is nothing like it is for hUmans.

UU: it is highly confrontational and violent.

TG: sounds so lonely

TG: plus w/ hecks of tricky sex

UU: it is lonely.

UU: bUt that is in oUr natUre, to be alone. jUst as it is to find attraction throUgh contempt.

UU: now that i think aboUt it, i shoUld have known.

UU: i've been so foolish.

TG: known what

UU: aboUt the natUre of my game session.

UU: i believed he and i coUld play together, even Under oUr UniqUe biological circUmstances.

UU: i was so daft, i thoUght skaia had actUally made an exception for Us.

UU: and that we coUld overcome oUr conflicts, work together, and fUlfill the game's minimUm reqUirement of two players. one of space and the other of time.

UU: bUt i was always fooling myself.

UU: it is now clear only one of Us will sUrvive.

UU: my skaian visions have misled me.

UU: or i have blinded myself to their trUe meaning.

UU: this was always meant to be a session of one.

UU: and i am finally starting to Understand...

UU: the reality of that coUld have conseqUences more horrifying than we coUld begin to imagine.

TG: um

TG: how

UU: the thing is, yoU don't know him like i do.

UU: as hard as it may be to believe, he is even worse than yoU think.

UU: and it's all sUch a shame, not jUst becaUse of that.

UU: it is a shame that i won't be able to play, i gUess for selfish reasons.

UU: i was so looking forward to it.

UU: i really thoUght i was going to be someone special.

UU: that i coUld Use my abilities do something no one had ever done.

TG: hey you are being so defeatist stop that!

TG: you dont know you wont play we havent even tried the wakeup call yet remembr???

UU: yes. you're right.

UU: mUch like skaia, i've sUccUmbed to a gloomier outlook lately, due to recent setbacks.

TG: so whats going to be special bout your game?

TG: aside from that its just your fuckhead bro and you

UU: well, i was always led to believe i woUld be an extraordinary type of player.

UU: both of Us woUld be. we are both assigned extremely rare and powerfUl classes.

UU: they are the two master classes!

TG: oh yeh?

TG: what is urs

UU: mine is the most passive on the scale. a class designated for females only.

UU: i am the mUse of space. ^u^

TG: sounds p cool

TG: whats a muse do

UU: i'm not entirely sUre. i was hoping to discover that on my joUrney.

UU: anyway, his is the other master class.

UU: the most active class of all, reserved for male players.

TG: what is it

UU: Um...

UU: roxy.

UU: i think we may be getting a wee bit carried away with trivia here.

UU: we both have so mUch to do.

UU: yoU need to focUs on getting to safety, while i need to...

UU: prepare myself. for what i hope will be a short nap.

TG: ok

TG: you are right

TG: la siiiiiigh

TG: im worried 4 you

TG: but optimistic

TG: i will call ur name like a million times

TG: and shout it in 2 the void every chance i get

TG: til u come back :3

UU: you are a good friend, roxy.

UU: please take care.

uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

[heiszou]

tags at last

[bakusdumptruck]

Bakusquad Crack Post Pt.2

Hello you beautiful bitches 😌 hope you had a good day today! I was stuck on what I was going to write and decided to make a side story on what happened with the LoV in the first part! So now i’ll give you high bakusquad ft. The LoV🤩

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Pairing: Aged up Bakusquad x gn!Y/n x LoV 

Warnings: Use of marijuana, swearing, injuries, slight manga spoilers

Summary: Bakusquad gets kidnapped by the Lov, but it turns out better than expected.  

✨QUICK RECAP ✨

You and the Bakusquad were v e r y faded chilling on a hill watching the stars 

A nomu pops out of no where and you all start attacking, but completely miss

The nomu starts chasing you and ends up knocking everyone out 

OKAY NOW LETS GET IT 😈

So... you got kidnapped by the infamous League of Villains

B💥: *waking up* “Fucking shit what hap- oh shit hey crusty 😏 never thought i’d be here again.”

ST(Shiggy)🧴: “Never thought you’d be this easy to catch you little bitch”

B💥: “WHO YOU CALLIN A LITTLE BITCH YOU FLAKEY FU-”

Y/n🥵: *evil/scary ass voice* “Bakugou if you don’t shut the fuck up right now i’ll let his flakey ass disintegrate you. You’re beING TOO FUCKING LOUD 😃🔪”

B💥: “uh... where’d you get that knife from :D”

K💪🏼: “Hey guys, sorry to ruin your moment but shouldn’t we be concerned that we got kidnapped.”

M💅🏽: “I agree... We literally got kidnapped by the people who want to kill us.”

S🕷: “Oh shit, that’s who they are? No wonder they looked so familiar.”

All: 👁👄👁

ST🧴: “Ya’ll are dumber than I expected... anyway we want you guys to join us. You all have powerful quirks, especially you Baku-”

B💥: “YAWWNNNN. No thank you. I already said no.”

ST🧴: “Did you just s a y the word yawn 🙃 *scratching neck* You’re pissing me off. I’ll just kill you then.”

S🕷: “Hold on mr.saltine, before you kill bakubro can we smoke our last joint? This weed was expensive and I AM NOT letting it go to waste. Plus I have even more and it needs to be gone before I die.” 

M💅🏽: “Sero please tell me you didn’t bring your stoner pack.”

S🕷: *pulls out his so called “Seros Super Stoner Pack”*

Shiggy’s starting to regret his life choices.

All of a sudden Dabi pops out of no where

DB🔥: “Is that weed? I smell weed. Where is it.”

 Sero had the most amazing idea, but not for them to escape no, he has had the most amazing idea to make sure he finishes his weed.

S🕷: “...Wanna smoke with us 👀 I already rolled a joint and I can roll at least 4 more. Don’t wanna let it all go to waste 😃”

DB🔥: “Let them out of the cuffs. I need to smoke.”

At this point Shigaraki is over everything and decides to smoke to distract himself from the stupidity.

So, ya know, Sero does his thing and hands yall the other papers to roll up

*30 minutes and 5 joints later...*

DB🔥: “NO BUT LIKE ENDEAVOR IS A FUCKING B I T C H. HE CAN KISS MY BURNT ASS.”

 This smoke session somehow turned into a therapy session. 

DB🔥: “I KNOW HE’S MY DAD BUT HOLY SHIT. FUCKER PUSHED ME INTO FAKING MY OWN FUCKING DEATH AND NOW HERE I AM. IM BURNT, MUSTY, AND STUCK WITH THIS CRUSTY ASS BITCH.”

Y/n🥵: *patting his back* “There there, let it out... uhuh just like that”

DB🔥: “I CAN’T EVEN FUCKING CRY. MY TEAR DUCTS ARE BURNT AND I FEEL DUMB AS FUCK CRYING WITH NO TEARS. I LOOK FUCKING CONSTIPATED.”

ST🧴: “Bitch please, you look constipated all the time.”

DB🔥: “Square the fuck up. 😃 Right now.”

D⚡️: “So... we just gon ignore the fact that he’s Endeavors “dead” son?”

Eventually Dabi lets everything off of his chest and goes off pouting in your arms

To lighten up the mood Sero connects his phone to his speaker and picks whatever song came up first 

It was WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion.

Denki was the first one to get up and starts to rap the first verse. He knew it word for word.

Sero joined in after but also started dancing

Mans was MOVING them hips. Them shits were swaying like it was nobody’s business 💅🏽

WAIT SO HEAR ME OUT,  I feel like Bakugou would be a completely different person when he’s high

Yeah he’s still angry and shit but he’d be sooooo fucking funny

 This bitch would get up all of a sudden and be like 

B💥: “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG FUCKER. THIS IS HOW YOU FUCKING MOVE”

Then he starts aggressively twerking anyway he can 😭

He’s twerking on the wall, on the floor, ON PEOPLE  

You all eventually form a circle around him and start hyping him up

LMAOO ITS LIKE THAT DANCE CIRCLE AT SCHOOL DANCES AND EVERYONE HAS THEIR PHONE OUT

Y/n🥵: “BEST FRIEND SHOW EM YOUR MOVES”

K:💪🏼: “GO, OUUU YUH GET IT I GUESS 💅🏽... OKAY IM NEXT BEST FRIEND. GET THE CAMERA 🤩”

KIRI FUCKING PUSHES HIM OUT 

K💪🏼: “dougie 🤪 hype me up 😤🥵”

He does it REALLY bad, but that’s not gonna stop the hype 

ST🧴: “AHAHAHA WHY HE MOVIN LIKE THAT. MANS STIFF AS FUCK”

M💅🏽: “Like you can do any better than that 😗”

ST🧴: “Baby please, watch this”

Shiggy starts voguing... and he’s really fucking good. 

All: “💀”

DB🔥: “HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKING GOLD . YO GUYS GET THE FUCK OUT YOUR ROOMS. Hehe he’s gonna regret doing this. ”

The rest of the LoV members come out and are shocked 

They don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or be disgusted 

TG🔪: “Dabi... is he okay, wait a minute... wHEN DID THEY GET HERE”

SP🐊: “...I’m going back to my room.”

TW👺: “OUU YUH SHIGGY. GET IT BITCH- this is so fucking disgusting.”

Mr.Compress and Kurogiri don’t even bother to see whats happening

Once the most iconic part of the song pops up YOU AND MINA GO OFF.

M💅🏽: “OUT OF THE WAY BITCHES. ITS THE BADDIES TURN.”

Holy fuck can y/n and Mina marry me already. p l e a s e.

Yall hitting every beat, every move, THE ATTITUDE. Yes. A+. 1000/10

Everyone was screaming their asses off and jumping around

After WAP, Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low played

DB🔥: “OHHH SHIT ITS MY TIME WHORES”

Dabi pulls out a guitar and amp out of thin air and plays his fucking heart out.

Bakugou finds drums and plays like theres no tomorrow

Sero finds a bass and joins in 

Y/n🥵: “What the fuck 😃 why is this so good 😃”

The rest of you starts head banging and singing along

K💪🏼: “TAKE A BREATH DONT IT SOUND SO EASY, NEVER HAD A DOUBT NOW IM GOING CRAZY WATCHING FROM THE FLOOR”

M💅🏽: “waYMENT- I THOUGHT HE COULDN’T SING. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM 😳”

Denki adds harmony to the next part

K💪🏼D⚡️: “TAKE A BREATH AND LET THE REST COME EASY, NEVER SETTLE DOWN CAUSE THE CASH FLOW LEAVES ME. ALWAYS, WANTING MORE”

Y/n🥵: “DENKI YOU TOO??? I’m going to pass away. This is too muCH. I’M GOING TO SIMP PLEASE.”

Oop, the best part’s coming up... who’s singing next?👀

DB🔥: “IT WAS NEVER A PHASE MOM. ITS A LIFE STYLE- CAUSE I GOT YOUR PICTURE IM COMING WITH YOU DEAR MARIA COUNT ME IN THERES A STORY AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS BOTTLE AND IM THE PEN.”

That shit was chefs fucking kiss. Dabi has the perfect voice for this song.

At this point you, Mina, and Shiggy were on the floor with tears streaming down your faces.

When yall thought it couldn’t get any better, Bakugou and Sero start harmonizing for the last part 💅🏽

B💥S🕷: MAKE IT COUNt WHEN IM THE ONE WHOS SELLING YOU OUT CAUSE IT FEELS LIKE STEALING HEARTS CALLING YOUR NAME FROM THE CROWD”

Dead. You flat lined. Your limit has been passed and now you’re a hard core simp. 

Mina was so glad she started recording because there definitely won’t be another opportunity.  

Y/n🥵: “Guys... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. HOW CAN YOU PULL INSTRUMENTS OUT OF YOUR ASSES AND PLAY PERFECTLY. KIRI WHERE THE HELL DID THE VOICE COME FROM.”

The boys were sweating and out of breath. They just did a whole performance in the hide out with zero practice.

They stared at each other at the end for a little bit and excitedly hyped themselves up. 

Dabi spoke about starting a band forgetting about his occupation and why the bakusquad was there in the first place

Honestly this moment was precious. The villains and aspiring hero’s were getting along because of the weed in their system. This just proves how weed can solve all your problems 💅🏽

*knock knock* “Doordash delivery”

ST🧴: “Oh, when did you guys order food?”

S🕷: “We didn’t order food...”

ST🧴: “... FUCKING SHIT NOT AGA-”

The pro hero’s busted in 🤩

DB🔥: “KUROGIRIIII. GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.”

And just like the the LoV escaped

M💅🏽: “Ya kno what, I honestly forgot where we were.”

B💥: “Same.”

K💪🏼: “We were having too much fun...”

D⚡️: “Ughhh why’d they come so early 😫 we were boutta start a band 🥺”

S🕷: “Wait... why were we here again??”

Y/n🥵: “Sero...baby, maybe you should lay off the weed for a bit 💀”

Aizawa walked in and shot his scarf out to all of you. He made sure to make them uncomfortably tight and pulled you guys right to him.

A🐱: 👺👹*gremlin noises*👺👹

Lol you guys are fucked. 

HELLOOOOO I hope you guys enjoyed this story of what went on when the squad got kidnapped!! Honestly my account is gonna have ALOT of bakusquad scenarios since I literally love all of them so much. Not a day goes by where I’m not thinking about hanging out with them 😭 Credits to jazzmonster for the gif 😌 once I saw it I knew I had to use it. Anywayy thank you all so much for the support :’-) I didn’t think people would actually like the stuff I write since its all over the place 😫 Hope you have a good rest of your day/night 🖤

[quccnnorth]

♫ for modern and canon both !

MODERN QUARANTINE AU

** these are all songs about their friendship bc i just wanna list friendship songs and i have a feeling after the quarantine they eventually become besties

1. i’ll be there for you - the rembrants  i picked this song bc 1. modern verse got has all the chaos of a television sitcom.. and also the “so no one told you life was gonna be this way” like WHO EXPECTS THEM TO BE STUCK IN A QUARANTINE TG? and then they eventually become friends bc sansa sees how cool dany is/ how much her brothers like her. so eventually they’re friends and i’ll be there for you…bc well they’re trapped inside during a global pandemic.

2. wannabe - spice girls i picked this song bc “if u wanna be my lover, u gotta get w my friends” and sansa DOES NOT want anything to do with her brother’s girlfriend and then they suddenly become friends. so not really their scenario but it reminds me of them lmao - also a valid girl power ballad for them to blast during quarantine. 

3. dancing queen - abba  we know they jam to this song and dance around like crazy people and i live for it. 

4. formation - beyonce same reason as ^^ the versatility in their dancing skills man, it’s never before seen.

CANON

1. you should see me in a crown - billie eilish this one doesn’t need explaining bc well we have two powerful ladies right here

2. castle - halsey    because sansa and dany both said fuck old man rights and were badass powerful ladies  that we needed representation for : )

3. no light, no light - florence + the machine technically a shippy song if u regard more than the chorus, so either it’s a complex ship song BUTTT  it can also be interpreted as frenemies / people who can’t be friends bc of their legacies/duty. i mostly focus on the chorus though ebfjkrdbg

4. elastic heart - sia (piano version)  i feel like this one doesn’t need to be explained after everything they’ve gone through :( 

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 1x07-- Not So Grand Jury

Thoughts on a delightful and eventful episode of The Good Fight under the cut. And (spoiler alert!) I don’t complain a single time about Maia not working. 

 We pick up where we left off: With Colin in Lucca’s office, telling her to be careful because her firm took an $800,000 bribe.

After Colin exits, a ticking noise kicks in (it’s the opening of a song, and it heightens the tension appropriately) and Lucca walks directly to the open seating area. Maia’s claiming a desk when Lucca arrives and pulls up a chair. (This is news Lucca has to sit down to deliver, a smart stage direction that both demonstrates Lucca’s understanding of how hard this will be for Maia to hear and matches with the lyrics about friendship in the tick-tick-tick song (“just for tonight/we can pretend/that we are friends/to the end”.)

(The Tick Tick Tick song is actually “Pretend” by Emika; I don’t know what it’s about because I haven’t listened beyond the line played in this scene yet, but it seems fitting to me to pair a lyric about pretending* to be friends with a moment where Lucca makes a friendly gesture—sitting instead of standing to deliver tough news—to someone who she wouldn’t call a friend.)

*it sounds sinister in the song, but in the show, I think it comes off more as acting as a friend towards someone you normally wouldn’t give that label to.

Lucca states the information she just heard from Colin. “That’s what I told my dad,” Maia realizes. “I know,” Lucca says in an understanding tone.

“Look, I know your first instinct would be to call him, but for the firm…” Lucca begins, but Maia’s learned her lesson already: “We need to tell the partners,” she interrupts. This breaks my heart. Whatever reservations I have about how Maia’s been written, it’s devastating to see a woman who had the utmost trust in her family just a few episodes ago become the person who suggests going straight to the partners. (Also, I love that Lucca makes a point of letting Maia know about the betrayal before she clues the partners in.)

Meanwhile, Mike Kresteva has empaneled a grand jury. He’s working with AUSA Zschau (Aaron Tveit), who appeared once on TGW (in 3x07) and has returned to the TG-verse now that Aaron Tveit is a favorite of the Kings. (He was a series regular on BrainDead last summer.)

Bribery and tax evasion (the fake stories Elsbeth planted) are the main focuses of the Grand Jury… for now. Like all TG-verse Grand Jury plots, the initial focus or strategy barely matters. As Kresteva says, all the grand jury has to believe to indict is that there is a possibility a crime was committed. This is why, at least in TG-v (I really need to come up with a standard way to refer to both shows at once; I feel like I’ve switched names for this as often as the writers switched the name of Diane’s firm in late-season TGW), grand juries usually involve throwing a bunch of things at the jury and hoping at least one thing sticks.

Diane isn’t on the list of name partners. Two episodes out from her power play, I’m wondering if they’ve dropped that thread or if we just haven’t circled back to it yet? On TGW, the signage was always updated the second the name changed. At the end of 1x05, Adrian congratulates Diane on being a FULL partner, not a name partner. Is there a chance Christine just said the line wrong and the script supervisor didn’t catch it? Diane asking to be a full, rather than junior, partner would make more sense than her asking to be a name partner, no? (Though, after bringing in an $86m/y client name partner makes sense too…)

Kresteva arrives at Elsbeth’s office with an order to assist in their investigation. Is that legal? Isn’t there attorney/client privilege here?

Anyway, Kresteva is there to confiscate Ada. “Ada! Erase history! Purge all files!” Elsbeth requests. Ada says “activating,” but then gives a synopsis for the movie The Purge. This is the second time in two episodes the writers have referenced The Purge; is Eli Gold responsible for this?

(The Tick Tick Tick song continues.)

Only a few minutes in, and Kresteva knows the bribery story is a lie. This is the moment where, on my first viewing, I knew this episode would be good. One of Elsbeth’s strategies failing? Elsbeth being undone by voice recording!? The piece of info that seemed like it would be central to the episode becoming an afterthought already!? How exciting! (But seriously, they just swiftly dispense with what seemed like the premise of the episode, instead focusing on new strategies without forgetting about the underlying tensions—the ones between Maia and her family members— of the old strategy.)

I don’t always love it when TG-V is all, TWIST! TWIST! ANOTHER TWIST! LEGAL MANEUVERING THAT’S SUPER FUN BUT WAIT WHAT IS ACTUALLY GOING ON! But it never fails to be fun, especially when it’s treated as fun and good character moments are sprinkled in. (Okay, it’s failed to be fun before, but usually it’s fun on the first watch, at least, and the only time I really wasn’t on board was Peter’s trial in s7 of TGW, and… that arc had its own problems that had more to do with the structure of the season/character development/abandoning interesting threads than it did with the courtroom stuff.)

Ah, Colin has answered my question about attorney/client privilege. They can listen whenever it’s just Elsbeth talking to Ada. Colin remarks that Elsbeth reprimanding Ada is “not privileged.” Still, Ada records everything, so Ada has recorded Elsbeth saying that the $800,000 bribe story is a lie. (Wait, who is Elsbeth talking to here and why isn’t it privileged?)

Now Henry Rindell is in trouble: Kresteva suspects Henry is working with Maia, which would make much more sense than a father turning on his daughter, but isn’t the truth because Henry Rindell is horrible (but has potentially convinced himself he is not horrible).

Henry seems outraged when he realizes Maia might’ve been wearing a wire. Yeah, how dare that daughter of yours mistrust you! You’re so innocent, just trying to destroy her place of work, thinking she’d want you to do that without ever bothering to actually take her feelings into account. Father of the year.

“I have to see her,” Henry insists. Kresteva’s ready to send Henry back to prison. Henry wants to investigate, and Kresteva and Zschau go for it… if Henry wears a wire.

AMY IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the moment that confirmed the episode would be good. (Note: I don’t watch the credits so I can be unspoiled about guest stars.) Henry’s there for a visit, and Amy is not thrilled. She hands Maia a rum and coke, knowing she’ll need a drink.

Maia asks what Amy’s been talking to Henry about, and then realizes she’ll need to record this, too. (It’s April 13th, according to Maia’s phone.)

“Your apartment looks beautiful, Amy,” Henry makes small talk. Your apartment? Is it Amy’s apartment? Doesn’t sound like it, since Amy replies that they’ll have to move in a month or two.

“Oh, why’s that?” Henry asks cluelessly. Maia and Amy both glare at him. “Money, dad,” Maia reminds him. So, this answers questions I had about who’s paying for that lovely apartment: clearly, Maia’s parents were the ones paying much of the rent. (Though, it seems weird to me that between Maia and Amy, the two of them wouldn’t be able to pay the rent on that apartment. It’s a great space, but it appears to be an extra-large studio or a loft and they have two salaries between them. OK NOT THE POINT, I GET IT, THEY ARE UNDER MORE FINANCIAL STRAIN THAN THEY WERE AND I APPRECIATE THAT THE WRITERS ARE ACKNOWLEDGING THIS. (I just like to nitpick.)

Amy says she’ll let Maia and Henry talk. I’m not sure where she’s exiting to—is there another room other than the bathroom? A kitchen?

Maia stands as far away from her dad as she can—the distance is obvious. And, they’re standing.

“You didn’t trust me,” Henry accuses. EL-OH-EL. “You told me a lie last time. There was no bribery at your firm” he says. This scene was a sneak, and my first thought was, “MAIA, DON’T ANSWER HIM, HE COULD BE TRYING TO TRICK YOU INTO ADMITTING THE LIE!” That’s irrelevant, now, because he already knows it’s a lie and doesn’t need Maia to confirm. I’m happy to see that Maia and I were on the same page, because, after she expresses some frustration with the fact this conversation is even happening, she says, “You were wearing a wire. If I told you a lie there was a reason.” Note the use of the word “if.”

“Talk to me like I’m your daughter. I am right here,” Maia insists, sitting down. Oh, how cool! I wasn’t even thinking about the sitting/standing difference when I mentioned it with Lucca, but it seems to be a thread, since Maia sits down at the exact moment she requests that the conversation switch from being formal to familiar. *Pats self on back*

Henry turns off his recording device (how cynical am I that I worried he had a second one stowed away?) and sits down. Maia, in return, turns off her phone recording.

Henry finally offers her an explanation: “I’m not doing this to save my skin. They’re coming after you. […] [For] the foundation. Your signature on the transferred funds.” Maia reminds him that her signature was forged. “Honey, I don’t think they’ll believe that,” Henry says. “You’re saying you were recording our conversations and using them against my law firm out of some clear concern for me?” Maia restates. Henry confirms this and says the Feds are threatening to prosecute her. Maia says that’s a lie; Henry insists it’s not. “Then don’t fucking use me to clear your conscience, dad,” Maia says. “You want to make a deal for yourself, do it. Don’t do it for me.”

Henry slips Maia info about how Kresteva knows the bribe is a lie. Maia knows that’s true, but she still asks Henry why she should trust him. Good question. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice…

Henry’s info here is right: Kresteva does just want to destroy the firm; subpoenas are about to go out. And maybe he has convinced himself he’s doing the right thing or protecting his family. But that doesn’t mean he’s not acting in his own self-interest, that he’s not betraying his daughter, or that his family wants him to involve them in his strategies.

Cut to: a French cooking class. This sequence reminds me of the beginning of 3x12, where everyone’s subpoenaed while they’re out and about, so I knew what was coming and that we’d get little glimpses of what the characters do in their free time. What I didn’t know—and what was brilliantly withheld from the way this first scene is written/directed/edited—is that it’s not Diane who’s taking the French cooking class. As soon as I heard the word “French,” I assumed this was Diane’s way of capturing a little bit of France since she couldn’t have her country home. But nope! Adrian is the one taking the class, and now I love this moment even more than I would’ve if it had been Diane. He’s also, apparently, good at making complicated French sauces. I love it.

Barbara, meanwhile, is having dinner with an old friend from school. (#WilliciaVibes?) She’s having a good enough time with her companion that she doesn’t even stop to realize that the “waiter” (the process server) is bizarrely dressed. What an unpleasant surprise. I want to know more about Barbara’s friend!

And Lucca? She’s gearing up for a run (I was so excited to see her doing something on her own time that wasn’t flirting with Colin!) when the process server stops her at her doorway. She closes the door on him, but he slides the subpoena under.

Notably, we don’t see Diane get served—at this point or later in the episode. Any episode that gets the little things right is an episode I like. While I would’ve enjoyed seeing Diane in her free time, I also already have a sense of what Diane would do in her free time. It’s news to me that Adrian takes cooking classes, that Barbara is (apparently?) single, and that Lucca’s a runner. Choosing to focus on what the more unfamiliar characters do in their free time is, to me, a better use of time than showing us more of what Diane likes to do in her free time. (I suppose there’s no reason they couldn’t have shown a fourth—or fifth, since we do see Marissa get served too—one of these for Diane, since episodes don’t have to be 43 minutes anymore, but three examples conveys the point better than a sequence that goes on and on and on, and if there’s one that I’d choose to take place off-screen, it’d be Diane.) (Also, we’ve seen Diane get subpoenaed several times, including at least once already on TGF.)

Elsbeth and the partners strategize. “Grand juries always indict,” she reminds them. I’m a little shocked this episode isn’t called Yet Another Ham Sandwich. “Unless it’s a police brutality case,” Adrian comments. Accurate.

Elsbeth then gets off on a tangent about Barbara’s earrings. “Elsbeth.” Diane warns. “Right! Sorry. You’re amazing,” Elsbeth responds. God, I love Elsbeth. (I also love that Diane always seems to have less patience for Elsbeth than most of the other characters do.)

The Paisley Group, a former Florrick/Agos client, is thinking of jumping ship. How did RBK even have The Paisley Group as a client in the first place? I mean, that’s the client who told Alicia to read Ayn Rand. Kresteva is trying to scare off all the RBK clients.

Lucca has something to add, but she decides against sharing. Elsbeth calls her out on it, and she shares some info she got from Colin. The assistant attorney general was concerned that the investigation was seeming racist. She can’t reveal how she knows this, but everyone in the room agrees on a strategy: make it seem like the white AG’s office is targeting the firm because of race.

(I love the hand gestures Elsbeth makes as she says “close down the grand jury.”)

They have an audience of one, Elsbeth explains: the assistant AG. (This is similar to Elsbeth’s strategy from when she represented Will in 3x14: the strategy then was to tie everything to Peter Florrick.)

(I’m pointing out all the similarities to past episodes because, as I said on Twitter, this episode feels like TGW’s greatest hits thrown into a blender. Since this episode isn’t just repeating past episodes, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s just that every twist and turn in this episode felt familiar.)

Adrian asks Barbara for her opinion. “About using race?” she asks. “Well, it is about race.” The scene ends there. Perfect. I love the acknowledgement that this is a trial strategy, but it’s also the truth. Kresteva’s whole strategy is that he’d rather silence and destroy a majority African-American law firm than improve policing so that officers stop shooting/beating black people. It is absolutely about race.

Next, Adrian appears before the grand jury. He emphasizes that the firm is majority African-American, taking every opportunity he can to mention the racial makeup of his firm. Heh. (Also, he’s been practicing law in Chicago for 35 years.)

Barbara appears next, and Zschau and Kresteva seem increasingly irritated by all references to race. “I didn’t ask about your firm’s racial makeup,” Zschau says. “Yes, but you did ask me to answer in my own words, and these are my own words,” Barbara replies. (This is straight out of 1x14—Kalinda says this on the stand, too.)

Colin informs the AAG (is that an abbreviation? I don’t care; for the purposes of this recap it is) of what’s going on in court. He’s not pleased. Kresteva insists he’s staying away from race, but the AAG doesn’t care. He wants it to be clear it’s not about race.

This means that another round of subpoenas has to go out… this time only for the white people. Yes, because subpoenaing an assistant who’s been at the firm a month because she’s one of three white people at the firm is definitely going to convince the grand jury it’s not about race.

When she’s served, Marissa is learning Italian in the work elevator. Jay gets on the elevator, too. He asks why she’s learning Italian; she says she’s always wanted to. Apparently, Marissa is saying, “In my next life, I want to come back as a shark.” I’d question what kind of tape would have this as a phrase to learn, but I’ve used Duolingo before and some of the sentences really are that bizarre.

The process server finds Marissa: “Marissa Gold?” She responds by saying, in Italian, “No, in my next life, I want to come back as a shark.” In a wonderful twist, the process server speaks fluent Italian and responds, “Too bad. In this life, you’ve just been served.” I can’t. stop. Laughing.

As Elsbeth strategizes about what to do now, the Tick Tick Tick song returns. Now Kresteva’s being served. I love the process server guy even more because he’s self-aware about how many subpoenas he’s delivered in the last 48 hours.

Elsbeth has a strategy, and it’s one she also used in 4x15 to defend Eli (as I said, this episode is TGW’s greatest hits, though I’m not sure 4x15 actually counts as a greatest hit). She opens a suit in civil court to find out information from the investigation.

Elsbeth vs. Kresteva is working SO well for me. It’s like he’s the adversary for her that they always wanted Josh Perotti to be. What a shock—when there’s no weird romance/stalking subplot, Elsbeth vs. the liar working for the federal government works.

I keep getting served Netflix ads during commercial breaks. This feels weird.

Elsbeth presents Jay with The Schtup List. He expresses no interest in it until Elsbeth explains its importance. Neither Elsbeth nor Jay recognize the numbers listed next to the names, and Elsbeth asks Jay to investigate.

The Chicago Board of Trade is the DOJ now? Stock footage, shrug. (I mean, you can read that it says CHICAGO BOARD OF TRADE in the clip they show.)  

“I hate him,” Colin tells his boss. “Him” being his coworker, Kresteva. Heh. The AAG asks Colin if he’s under the mistaken impression he only defends people he likes. “No, I’m under the mistaken impression I don’t defend anyone. I’m a prosecutor,” Colin replies. HEH. (And, this is a thread that keeps coming back throughout the episode!)

Colin’s stuck with the case anyway. He tells his boss he’s dating a lawyer at RBK; his boss just says to stop dating her. This strategy doesn’t work either.

Colin tries to get Elsbeth’s case dismissed, but Elsbeth has a plan for that. She turns things over to Adrian, prompting Colin to ask if Adrian is the plaintiff or a lawyer. Since Colin’s the first to mention that Adrian should be called as a witness if he wants to talk, Judge Gallo allows the case to move forward. Heh. Colin’s out of his element. He also calls Elsbeth “the defense” and Gallo corrects him: “the plaintiff.” This is great. As I said, I love the little things, like reminding us that Colin isn’t used to arguing in civil court. They infuse moments of courtroom drama (or other plot-driven moments) with revealing character information.

Another example of this is that Colin, even though he hates Kresteva and personally agrees with Team RBK, is not in any way (well, aside from not breaking up with Lucca) intentionally throwing this case. He’s not giving it 110% (he wouldn’t be fumbling like this if he were), and he’s distracted by Lucca and by his internal conflicts, but he is doing his job.

“Make me your second chair,” Lucca advises Elsbeth. Elsbeth agrees.

Colin objects to a witness’s statement. He is really off his game.

Colin questions Adrian and asks how important the three clients they lost, the ones Kresteva scared off, were. They were only worth a combined 1.3 million, which means they must not have been doing much business for The Paisley Group (which makes sense to me, given what we know about The Paisley Group). Colin points out that they just signed ChumHum, which is worth $86 million. Yeah. But, as Lucca points out, that doesn’t mean Kresteva isn’t still affecting their client list.

Colin and Lucca bicker in court. Judge Gallo isn’t happy. Lucca apologizes, then asks why the defendant isn’t there. “I see. So Mr. Kresteva is too busy for Judge Gallo?” Lucca says when Colin explains Kresteva is busy. This is smart: Gallo seems like exactly the type of judge who would take offense at this sort of snub.

Marissa takes the stand next—in the grand jury room-- and sticks with the strategy. She explains that Diane mentors her in “becoming aware of the nature of white privilege.” Heh. Zschau mentions that Marissa also worked with Diane at Lockhart Deckler etc., and Marissa just comments that “that was definitely not an African-American firm. It was like the Trump White House there.” Bwah. The grand jurors like Marissa. When Kresteva suggests she move off of the subject of race, Marissa apologizes and says “Touchy.” The grand jurors like that, too, and their level of respect for Kresteva declines by the second.

Now Diane is the target: did she slip Adrian privileged information in F101?

Marissa calls Diane after court, then notices Andrew Hart. She takes a picture and takes it to the legal team.

To find out what Andrew Hart said to the grand jury… they call him to the stand in the civil case. Hehehe.

Elsbeth is on the most obvious fishing expedition ever—she has a list of possible motivations and runs through them one by one (at least, I think that’s what that list is?) until she figures out what Hart is up to—and it works. Idk about the legality of all this, but it sure is fun to watch.

Lucca distracts Colin as he tries to object. And by distracts, I mean sucks on her pen. In the middle of the court room. It works. (Hello, 5x12 Willicia.) (Only without the tension/hatred.) (Colin doesn’t really seem to care that Lucca’s throwing him off.)

After court, Lucca walks past Colin, makes sure he sees her, and then walks into an empty courtroom. He follows her in. She asks him to come by that night, and he tells her he’s been told to break up with her. She says he better do it and starts to leave. He stops her and pulls her in for a kiss. “You’re going to get fired,” she warns. “Mm. I hate my job anyway,” he says. That’s the truth right there. At this point, I think Colin really doesn’t care if he gets fired over this.

Meanwhile, Barbara sits down with a client Andrew Hart is trying to poach. The client doesn’t seem to like Hart very much, because he testifies for RBK and offers even more information than he’s asked to just to help.

The litigation financiers have been subpoenaed to testify at the grand jury. This episode moves fast, y’all. It’s impressive (but unsurprising) that TGF built, in six episodes, a complicated web of things that could come back to hurt RBK.

Can two people testify before a grand jury at once or is this a thing I just have to believe could happen because TV?

Things look bad for RBK: they have a clear story about the settlement for the case in F101 and how Diane’s warning led Adrian to be confident in a favorable settlement.

The litigation financiers don’t want to tell Adrian and Diane what they said to the grand jury, but they say just enough Adrian and Diane understand what they’re up against. “Fuck,” Adrian says, and one of the financiers reminds him not to swear. “It bugs out Jer,” Adrian recalls, quoting F102.

Diane takes full responsibility for this. She says she told Adrian more than she should have. (Adrian is correct in recalling what Diane says, FWIW. Diane said they would be getting a good settlement and to hire Maia, because she found a key piece of evidence. Unless this all hinges on the “you’ll get a good offer in a few hours” part of it? Is that disbarrable?)

Adrian doesn’t let Diane take responsibility for this. He reminds her Kresteva is going to go after anything he can. “Stop kicking yourself. We are dealing with people who are coming at us for the smallest infraction,” he says. He meant it when he told Maia in 1x04 that people at RBK look out for each other. Of course, RBK still has its office politics (see: Julius Cain), but the sense of loyalty and community is refreshing. It feels like the family environment L/G always purported to be.  It’s easy to see, given this moment and others earlier in the season, how committed RBK is to its mission and culture. Adrian and Barbara have a clear vision for what they want their firm to be and how they want it to run, and I’d like to know more about it. (And more about how Diane threatens/can strengthen it—this is the sort of corporate culture Diane always said she wanted to cultivate!)

Adrian suggests that they defend themselves with something called “mere puffery.” I don’t know what this is (rather, I didn’t know what it was until they explained it in a later scene), but Adrian and Diane both crack up at the suggestion, so I find it funny too. Also, “mere puffery” just sounds funny.

Marissa saves the day! She recognizes a nine-digit number from her W-2. This… is a stretch.

Y’all know I paused the stream to read Marissa’s W-2. This W-2 says 2013. Also, that Marissa made $71,706.01. Lol. Lol. Lol. Lol. Lol. LOL. Doesn’t that seem awfully high for an assistant job that consists of running errands? Oh, God. Now I’m looking up the salaries all of these people would be making (Glassdoor says Marissa would not be making that much).

It’s a federal tax ID number. Marissa and Jay realize at the same time that if numbers on The Schtup List match numbers from Lockhart Deckler, Diane is screwed.

Diane is on the stand. She tries out mere puffery, which she explains (it means promoting through exaggeration). Kresteva says he knows what it is. (Yay for good exposition!)

They show her The Schtup List, and connect it to Diane hiring Maia, and… yeah, this doesn’t look good.

Kresteva also explains that they have Henry Rindell coming in the next day.

After the grand jury, Diane finds Adrian and says she needs to resign because she’s about to be indicted. “Are you… guilty of anything? Other than being friends with the wrong people?” Adrian asks. No, she isn’t. (Maia listens in and figures out what she has to do—this is something I wish she’d done a few episodes ago, but better late than never, and I appreciate that it’s tied to her concern for her godmother.) Diane keeps insisting that she should resign, but Adrian is, in his words, “not running scared from motherfuckers like [Kresteva.]” Awww, warm and fuzzy feelings.

Then the scene ventures on preachy, but only because it’s the 2nd scene in 3 episodes to include repetition of the word “fight” as what Diane has to do. Like, yeah, we get it, this is called The Good Fight. No one ever called Alicia “The Good Wife” to her face! (But I guess “Saint Alicia” is the same thing.)

Diane looks shocked that someone could be so kind to her. Must take a lot of betrayal to get to the point where you’re surprised when your partners stand up for you. Poor Diane. (I wish Barbara were here for this conversation, though. It would be interesting to see her agree with Adrian on this, not necessarily because she supports Diane without any reservations but because she believes that her firm shouldn’t throw its own under the bus.)

Maia meets with her father again, recording devices off. “You’re testifying against Diane?” Maia asks. “No, I’m telling the truth,” Henry says. “Oh. Your alternative truth?” Maia says. HAH.

Maia connects the dots, a little too late. Was that the only use of The Schtup List? Not turning against Jax, but framing Diane in exchange for a lighter sentence? (I wonder about this. Given that Jax is barely mentioned in this episode and Henry wanted the list, not proof it was on Jax’s computer, I suspect that Maia’s right about Henry’s motives.)

Henry says it was just about leverage, but Maia cuts through that bullshit: “You betrayed her for a lighter sentence?” Henry insists this is so Maia won’t see jail time, and neither will Lenore. But… dude… you had to have Maia break the law and implicate herself in order to get that list, and now you’re ruining her workplace. And Maia sees through this, too: it wasn’t just altruistic… Henry wanted a lighter sentence for himself, too.

“I want a chance to see you have kids. I want to hold my grandkids,” Henry says. Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you stole people’s money! “What was the deal?” Maia asks. “Ten years,” Henry says, and Maia immediately understands how favorable that is. She asks him not to testify against Diane—an offer of ten years indicates a weak case.

But Henry keeps insisting he has to testify… “it’s for you, too.” Maia rejects his help in the strongest way possible: “You do this, dad, and if I ever have any kids, you’ll never see them. I’ll never let you see them.” This is hard to watch (would be even harder if I had emotional investment in any of the Rindells, which I don’t, really). Maia’s probably more damaged by this conversation than by any other part of the scandal. Her own father is trying to disguise his own self-interest as protecting her, to the point where he’s able to rationalize throwing old friends—friends whose life savings he’s already wiped out because of his own greed!—under the bus as something noble.

He tries to kiss Maia goodbye, but she rejects his embrace. “I love you,” he says. Maia doesn’t respond.

For the first time in episodes, Diane and Maia feel like godmother/goddaughter. They’re sitting together in civil court, anticipating Henry’s testimony (he’s been subpoenaed there as well). “Are you alright?” Diane asks Maia. “No, not really,” Maia replies. “I wish I could tell you it’ll get easier,” Diane says. “I wish you could tell me that too,” Maia says. And in one short exchange, Maia gets the character development I’ve been looking for! She’s grown more accepting, mature, and resolute. And, unlike in past episodes, we’re actually getting a check-in on how she’s doing. In the episodes where Maia was acting recklessly, it wasn’t clear enough, IMO, why, other than the generic motivation* of “family,” she’d make the decisions she did. (The solution to that problem would’ve been more stories about life before, or moments that felt very genuine between her and her parents, or anything else that would make me believe Maia would really help her cartoon villain parents.) But in this episode (and the last), I understand Maia’s decisions. I see what changes for her and when and why, I see her questioning her loyalties, and I see her coming to terms with her new reality and forming/strengthening new bonds. Even a line as simple as this exchange shows Maia’s thought process, and that’s a welcome change from the conspiracy-driven nonsense of the past few episodes.

*this is not a bad motivation or even a bad plot; my problem is that it was an underdeveloped motivation that made it hard to sympathize with a brand-new character who was almost exclusively interacting with two dimensional characters who seemed so obviously shifty that Maia’s trust in them (well, just Henry, really) and willingness to break the law for them never quite made sense.

Anyway, Elsbeth asks a question influenced by information Maia’s told her: what did Kresteva offer him in exchange for his grand jury testimony? Henry stares right at Maia, and tells the truth: ten years instead of life without parole. Maia stares back: she knows what she’s done, and she’s not hiding it. She knows she’s just almost guaranteed her father will get life without parole. And she is okay with that. She knows she’s going to have to be.

Things aren’t going well over at the DOJ. The news of the (proposed) plea deal is out, and Kresteva’s strategy, now that it’s so public and not just a backroom deal, isn’t to the assistant attorney general’s liking. (Shitty boss, though, because he totally signed off on this strategy in a prior episode.)

Kresteva shows up at Elsbeth’s office. He hands her a cardboard box, and tells her he was just fired. “I’m just happy it’s over,” Elsbeth says. “I just think it’s funny that you think this is over,” Kresteva says. Then he leaves. So… is there more? Or is this just Kresteva’s way of getting the last word? (Side note: I appreciate that this episode didn’t rely at all on the “Kresteva is a lying liar” thing. He still is a lying liar, but he’s not just someone who makes up stories. That only works to a point.)

What’s in the box? Ada! I dunno about you, but I wouldn’t use that thing ever again. Half the time, it doesn’t work, and it’s also always recording you.

At RBK, Diane stops by Maia’s desk and thanks her. “You could have protected yourself, and instead you protected me,” Diane says. “Please, don’t mention it,” Maia replies. “You got me this job,” Maia says warmly. “You deserved it,” Diane replies. She thanks Maia again, patting her head (well, not exactly, but I’m blanking on how to describe it and “patting her head” captures the dynamic more accurately than “stroking her face”). Maia doesn’t reject this gesture the way she rejected her father’s kiss.

Another great, short moment that’s better late than never. I would’ve liked to see more from Diane and Maia between 1x01 and 1x07, but this is exactly the sort of development I wanted. Strangely enough, this is also development that had to take place this far into the season and after the events of this episode. It wouldn’t have worked to have Maia realign her loyalties so she values her relationship with Diane (and, secondarily, the firm) more than she values her relationship with her parents right at the start of the show. Maia had to lose her trust in her parents and make choices for herself before we could get here. Otherwise, it might have felt like Maia was just rebelling, or that she was making a hasty, emotional decision. So, I’ll amend my earlier statement: this moment isn’t better late than never. It’s precisely right for this moment, but I wish we’d gotten the Maia and Diane scenes that were precisely right for all the moments between 1x01 and 1x07, too.

(I can’t say enough good things about this scene. It shows Maia’s maturity and awareness, but still conveys that Maia is the closest thing Diane has to a daughter. This moment doesn’t establish Maia and Diane as peers—even though you got me a job, I saved your job seems like it could do that. It reminds us that they’re each other’s chosen family, and it acknowledges that Maia is both a mature adult and someone who could use a mother/mentor figure. I want more of this going forward, and I will be very disappointed if this thread disappears for another several episodes. This is the sort of thing that should be present in almost every episode, even in the smallest moments.)

(For example, Diane tells Maia that she “deserved” this job. That could be because Maia’s a great lawyer who found a key piece of evidence, but it’s also totally because Diane has an easy time picturing Maia, the smart girl she’s watched grow up, as someone deserving and capable. That sort of thing should be clear in every scene between Diane and Maia—and there should be plenty of scenes between Diane and Maia, since her connection to Diane is the reason we have Maia on the show in the first place, right?)

In another good moment for Maia (have you notice I haven’t complained about her not working in this recap!? Sure, that’s because there’s no COTW or subplots that seems to take place during business hours, but it’s also because the writers finally bothered* to use Maia well), Marissa asks to get drinks. Maia says no, at first, but reconsiders. She needs a drink after that day, but this isn’t about alcohol: this is about establishing ties. She’s reaffirmed her loyalty to Diane, but she’s also starting to think about making new friends, embracing her workplace, and focusing on the things she’d be focusing on without the conspiracy drama surrounding her.

*I say “finally bothered” because the past few weeks, they haven’t even been trying. I’ve seen the writers try and fail to convey character development, and I’ve seen them try and succeed at character development. It felt like they were not even trying the past few weeks.

Lucca’s heading out for another run, but she’s interrupted again, this time by Colin. He says something, but the music’s too loud for us to hear it (by which I mean that the music plays instead of whatever he’s saying). Lucca gives him a hug to comfort him and invites him in. Hm. I don’t know what he said. Perhaps he was fired? That would make sense, given that Kresteva was fired, the grand jury was a mess, he’s already indicated he was ready to move on, and that Lucca’s hug suggests she’s reacting to bad/sad news, not just greeting him. I wonder if we’ll ever find out what he said, and why the writers chose to make the line silent.

In any event, I’m intrigued. This has been the most enjoyable episode since the pilot, and it hit the right balance of character moments and plot development. It also seemed to tie up some plots that weren’t working and brought together a lot of threads. Plus, the grand jury episodes are always fun, especially when they have real stakes and/or involve Elsbeth. It’s smart that this episode, by the end, places more importance on the consequences of this investigation for Maia. We know the firm’s probably going to survive this, and that it’ll probably survive any subsequent investigation plots. But Maia’s relationship with her dad doesn’t have to survive or be repaired for the show to continue, so there’s a character-motivated reason for the grand jury. The episode also concludes (?) the Rindell conspiracy arc in a way that involves everyone at RBK instead of pulling Maia even further out of the RBK orbit, and it solidifies Diane’s membership among the partners of her new firm. That’s what I want to see: A fun (if, at times, derivative) episode that still feels consequential and is about characters as much as it’s about plot.