#if you saw this in the main tag no you didn't please don't flame me lmfaooo ;___;

[22degreehalo]

The thing is... you're not supposed to care about the kens.

That's why they're portrayed as just generic privileged pathetic white guys. They're just kind of a joke.

(And that's some parts 'men are privileged and it's not our responsibility to coddle them' and some parts 'men are expected to be independent and take care of themselves and not have feelings.' It's not a coincidence that the kens being insecure, or crying, or making obliviously homoerotic statements, are part of them being a joke. That's just how you portray people as ridiculous: you make them super emotional about things that don't really matter, and you associate them with campy, queer, over-the-top things.)

I said in previous posts that, while I am most likely overthinking it, it seemed a failure of the movie to introduce this setting and then not really engage with it. I recall a popular post on tumblr about 'bit-ism', or the willingness of a movie to commit to the bit; insofar as the setting is entwined with the message of the movie, I've rarely seen a movie fail as hard as Barbie. It introduces an inverted society, but then only seems interested in that society to the extent that real life changes it. If I'm not supposed to care about the kens, why establish them as the oppressed parties at all?

But that's all assuming that what people say about it is true: that it's a thoughtful piece about gender and misogyny. That it Has Things To Say about men and patriarchy and gender dynamics.

And maybe it is actually just not nearly as deep as I'm trying to make it.

Maybe it really is just a movie intended to go 'haha, wouldn't it be funny if men were oppressed instead of women?! Take that, men!!'

Which. Is exactly what conservative commentators say, of course. So I've tried not to lean in that direction. I highly admire Greta Gerwig as a director (Little Women is one of my favourite films of all time!), so I really wanted to read something very interesting into it.

But the more I think on it, the more I think that the 'take that, men!' interpretation is... the more generous one?

Because. Let's be clear. This is a movie in which an Asian character reacts with comedic excitement at the idea of their people being allowed one circuit court justice. And the (mostly white) people in power smile and roll their eyes because they are definitely NOT going to allow them any more than that, lol, but isn't it so cute to see how happy they are? (Cue laugh track and applause.)

If this movie really does have things to say about gender and power... they suck!! Big time!!! It only only makes sense if misogyny is the only oppression at all, or at least the only one that matters. That is some straight-up radfem/TERFy anti-intersectionality bullshit!!

Ken being uncomfortable in Barbieland even before he encountered the real world isn't anything about the patriarchy and how men are harmed by it, because that logically just doesn't make any sense. Ken is unhappy during the movie because a) the plot needs it and b) so Barbie can not return his feelings and make that whole feminist statement about it. That's it.

The movie just exists to make women laugh and pump their fists and clap.

And that's okay, I think...? The movie is a power fantasy. That's fine. Those are allowed to exist. Not every movie has to be Morally Perfect.

But. I think it's kind of rich to expect men to, like, be super hyped about it. Getting extremely angry is an overreaction... but there are two options, here: the movie is designed to make fun of men in a silly and deliberately mean-spirited way, or it genuinely and sincerely argues that any oppression men face is universally beneath concern.

As for myself? In a way, I'd rather overthink it. Because alas, I am nought but a simple baby sensitive snowflake hyper-empathetic autist. And I just do not like it when people are mean, especially when the victims are quite clearly powerless and pathetic and emotional. But I understand that I am unusual in that way, and that snark and mockery have their place in the world, and are capable of doing good.

Maybe the movie doesn't intentionally express damaging ideas about how oppression works. Maybe it is just kind of mean. I think that will probably prevent me from ever properly enjoying it. But there are worse crimes than Making A Movie I Don't Like.

[cilil]

⸙ Prompt: Thanksgiving | Mafia AU Melkor x Mairon ⸙ Synopsis: The boss has plans for Thanksgiving. Mairon "Maironi" Artano finds himself quite intrigued. ⸙ Warnings: Smoking; also the AU is in itself a warning ⸙ Quintuple drabble

» AN: Based on @fraeuleinfriedhof's autocorrect-inspired idea and @saintstars's wonderful art (here and here), I contribute this little but hopefully entertaining ficlet to the Goncharov/Mafia AU Angbang movement.

"Anything else you need, boss?" Mairon – also lovingly dubbed Maironi by other members of the organisation – asked after placing yet another neat stack of papers on the ever-messy desk of Aman's most infamous criminal. 

"Fire." Melkor's answer came without hesitation. He was lounging in an armchair facing the huge window nearby to oversee the city of Valmar down below and extended his left hand to show an unlit cigar. 

Dutiful as always, Mairon walked over and fished a lighter from his pocket, swiftly producing a tiny flame while Melkor raised the cigar to his lips. The cool fingers of his boss' right hand curled around his wrist just as smoke began to rise between the two, and his breath hitched in his throat. Was it fear that he felt, Mairon questioned himself, but the answer was no... instead he felt strangely excited. 

"Anything planned for Thanksgiving?" Melkor asked conversationally, his thumb caressing his palm. 

"I suppose not," Mairon responded. "I haven't seen my family in years." 

The flame continued to flicker until he finally remembered that he was indeed still holding the lighter. 

Melkor smirked, seemingly pleased. "Neither do I." 

He took a deep drag, then let his hand drop and his head fall backwards to exhale. Mairon caught himself staring at his lips, ashen and beautifully shaped, promising kisses of death and oblivion. 

"Maybe we should celebrate together," Melkor said then, though his expression held a certain mocking irony. 

Nevertheless, Mairon decided to play along, slipping around the back of the chair to sit on its armrest – and put his physique on display, accentuated by the expensive suit he was wearing. 

"I didn't know you cared for such festivities," he said, his voice laced with matching irony; he would play coy, but not pretend to be stupid. 

Melkor's gaze wandered across his thighs appreciatively, then he grinned up at him. "Oh, I don't. But I thought perhaps... I should thank you for all you do for me?" 

And with that, his free hand snaked around his waist and came to rest on his hips. Mairon's face lit up triumphantly; he was finally getting exactly what he wanted and possibly much more still. 

"How flattering, boss. And such a tempting offer," he said, batting his eyelashes. 

"Indeed." Melkor pulled him onto his lap and brought the cigar to his lips. Ever eager to please, Mairon made a show out of closing his lips around it and savouring the smoke, though it was but a paltry imitation of what he truly desired. 

"Good boy," Melkor purred in his ear. "Now look out of the window."

Mairon did. Valmar, everyone who lived in the city, the entirety of Aman that lay beyond... it all either belonged to Melkor already or would do so soon. And then he saw his own reflection in the glass, sitting on his boss' lap and leaning against him like a pretty little pet, and realised with a surge of wild desire that he was Melkor's as well.

Thanks for reading! I'm not sure if I'm good at any sort of modern AU, but I'm trying my best XD

read more? main masterlist get tagged for my writing? tag list form

[samuraiko]

Could you write a crack vignette. Your choice what it’s about just something funny

I'm not really sure what qualifies as a 'crack' vignette, but... well, *I* think this is funny.

"Target Practice"

The Hells lay exhausted on the deck of the Silver Sun, bleeding and battleworn.

"Okay... can we PLEASE figure out a method for stopping things BEFORE they get onboard and start tearing us to shreds?" Imogen complained.

"Don't look at me," Ashton said without opening his eyes from where he lay near one of the ballistae. "I'm the up close and personal guy."

"Yeah, Imogen, you and Fearne and Laudna are the long-range crew," Chetney pointed out. "If anything, we should be blaming you."

"Now, now, let's not start throwing blame around," Orym said hurriedly, cutting off Imogen's retort. "I mean, we knew it was gonna be dangerous when we opted to fly over the Hellcatch again. All we can do is just plan for going forward. But I am kinda with Chet and Ash, I have to wait for stuff to get here before I can hit it."

"Maybe there's a way we can practice hitting things at range," FCG suggested. "We could always have Pâté fly around the ship and just use him as target practice!"

"I can't say I'm all that keen on that idea!" Pâté piped up from beneath Laudna's hair.

"Or maybe Mister?" FCG looked over and saw the wildfire spirit hissing and glaring at him from Fearne's shoulder. "Or maybe not."

"Although..." Ashton mused, then fell quiet for a bit. "I might have an idea..."

An hour or so later...

The Hells gathered on the main deck, with several large rocks piled beside Ashton.

"HEY!" Captain Xandis shouted from the quarter deck. "DON'T FORGET TO AIM HIGH ENOUGH THAT YOU DON'T HIT THE RAIL!"

"I KNOW, I KNOW!" Ashton bellowed back at the captain. Then he looked over at Fearne, FCG, Imogen, and Laudna. "Okay, you four ready to go?"

FCG waved his bolt thrower at the barbarian. "Ready, Ashton!"

"Okay, let's do this, then." Ashton moved one of the rocks to a position near his feet, then got a solid grip on his massive hammer. "FORE!"

He took a mighty swing at the rock... and promptly shattered it, sending shards flying in every direction while all the Hells ducked.

"OH SHIT SORRY!"

"Maybe just a LITTLE less force, Ash," Orym suggested with a grin.

"Sorry, force of habit." Ashton moved another rock into position, then swung again, and with a loud crack, sent it soaring over the side.

Nothing happened, and he turned to look at the foursome just standing there.

"Were you gonna actually DO anything or just watch me hit things over the side?!"

"Oh... well, you didn't specify an order or anything," Fearne said petulantly, and Ashton ran one hand over his face in exasperation.

"Just... figure it out amongst yourselves if you want to tag-team or all blast at once or what-the-fuck-ever." He leaned on his hammer and waited while the four quickly consulted over what to do.

Chetney began whittling while Orym helped shove another rock over to Ashton.

"Okay, Ashton, I think we've got things worked out!" Laudna sang out. "Wnenever you're ready!"

"All right, then. FORE!" Ashton sent another rock sailing over the side, which was almost immediately obliterated right next to the ship by a series of flames, lightning, black energy, and then almost belatedly, a metal bolt.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DON'T DO IT RIGHT NEXT TO THE SHIP!" Ashton shouted in frustration. "LET IT GET A WAYS AWAY FIRST!"

"Sorry!" Laudna said sheepishly. "I just got so excited!"

Ashton just sighed, resettled his grip, and slammed another rock over the side. This time it reached the apogee of its arc before another series of blasts blew it out of the sky.

"THERE we go!" Orym cheered.

"Nice one, Ashton," Imogen complimented him. "Though I think we should maybe work out some combos... and it's too bad you can only hit one at a time."

"Yeah, well, life's a bitch," Ashton replied. "All right, here we go. FORE!"

Lightning, energy, and another bolt hit it, but Fearne just stood there frowning.

"What's the matter, Fearnie?" Orym asked.

"Is that we're called now?"

"Huh?"

"Ashton keeps yelling FOUR. Four what?" She pointed to herself, Imogen, Laudna, and FCG. "Us four?"

"No, Fearne, FORE, not FOUR."

"You lost me."

"Never mind. Lob another rock, Ashton."

[pan-fangirl-345]

On Live National Television

Prompt(s): 'Fuck you, alright? I didn’t ask to fall in love with you.' + 'Don’t say things that you don’t mean my love.' + 'Oh my god, what are you doing?' 'Will you marry me?'

@elenaoftheturks asked: Could you maybe do 7,18,45 for Shoto(bnha) with a gn or female reader(whatever you prefer)? Only if you are comfortable with it of course. (^_^)

A/N: Of course I can do that! I adore the way that your mind works elenaoftheturks, this is an amazing idea! I do have one small request of all of you though! If you want to ask me something, please send in an ask or slide into my DM's if you want me to tag you so you know when it's done! Now here's why: this is not my main blog! Because of this, I can't reply to you in the comments without it being under my main blog, which is irritating to me because I want to interact with you all! So if you could do that for me, that would be great! If you don't feel comfortable doing either of those things, then please feel free to do it in the comments, but just know that I won't be able to reply until I post the request!

TW: Mild swearing, crying (but it's happy tears)

Being pro heroes was a lot more stressful than school had led you to believe.

True, 1-A had been through more than most classes in an even shorter amount of time, but that had been short lived.

This was constant.

But you wouldn't change anything.

You were doing the thing you loved, and so were your friends, so was you boyfriend.

Though you were this close to regretting loving him at the moment.

"Do you guys remember when (Y/F/N) tried to confess to me in our second year?" Shouto asked.

His face, to every one else may have seemed impassive, indifferent, but you could read the way his calm face hide that goddamn smirk that would've been taking over if it had just been the two of you.

But it was a group interview with the entirety of the graduating class of 1-A.

Technically, it had been 3-A, but with all the media coverage of you class in you first year, everyone agreed that your class would forever be class 1-A.

"And you took it the wrong way?" Midoriya asked, laughing.

"Oh my god, I hate all of you," you muttered, hiding your face in your hands.

"What was it that she said to you when you guys started to argue?" Kirishima asked, grinning.

"I said 'Fuck you, alright? I didn’t ask to fall in love with you.' and I honestly think Shouto astral projected for a second," you said, trying to take control of the conversation, despite the way your cheeks heated with the memory. "He stared at me for a good two minutes before he even tried to say anything! And then he couldn't even form the words to say something to me! Then, of course, to make things more awkward, he burst into flames when he finally processed it."

Everyone laughed.

"There are still scorch marks on the wall of the dorms!" Kaminari added, "I saw them when I dropped by for a lecture the other day."

"Seriously?" you asked, laughing, "They didn't redo the wall or anything?"

"No! They still look fresh too!"

Everyone laughed, even Bakugou.

"One thing you never told us, (Y/F/N), was what he actually said when he could speak again," Sero said.

"He said, 'Don’t say things that you don’t mean my love.' I think that made me astral project! Honestly, we've always had a weird relationship, but I guess that's understandable, everything considered."

Everyone laughed again, and Shouto wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pressing a quick kiss to your temple.

"So," the reporter asked, giving everyone a small smile. "Shouto, (Y/H/N), how long have you been together?"

"Our sixth anniversary is going to be this March," Shouto said.

"Has it really been six years already?" you asked. "Man, way to make me feel old."

Everyone laughed again, and you couldn't help but smile at Shouto.

"We've been graduated for four years, it feels like just yesterday we were being attacked by the L.O.V," you muttered, shaking your head.

"So you all love the job that you do?" the reporter asked.

Everyone chimed in, nodding enthusiastically.

"How hard is it, for you heroes, to be in relationships with each other?"

Everyone turned to you and Shouto, since you were the ones that had been together the longest.

"It's stressful, sometimes," you admitted, glancing at Shouto. "Especially when one of us gets injured, which, unfortunately is a lot, given the recent spike in quirk enhancing drugs."

"But one good thing about dating another hero is the mutual understanding that this job is hard, and there are some things that go along with that, things that make the bad days worse," Shouto added.

"Shouto and I have had longer than some of the other couple here to understand that sometimes there isn't much you can do on a bad day, just be there for each other. But this entire class has gone through a lot of stuff together, and a lot of us understand that," you said. "Although, it is hard sometimes, just letting your partner sit in the dark and brood when you just want them to smile."

"Sap," Shouto teased, and you hit his shoulder lightly.

"You say that like you aren't a dork either," you retorted. "Need I remind you what we did for our first date?"

"No, I remember it well enough on my own, thanks," he muttered, flushing.

You laughed, taking his hand.

"So, on a more series note," the reporter said, giving Shouto a small smile. "Shouto, when I reached out to you about this interview, you said it was conditional. Do you want to tell your friends why that is? Or do they already know?"

"Babe, what is she talking about?" you asked, turning to look at Shouto.

"So, I may or may not have planned a small surprise," Shouto said, glancing back at you. "And I was going to plan on writing a small speech, but you and I both know that we aren't like that."

He gave you a nervous smile, and then said, "(Y/F/N), we've been together for a while, and we learned really early on that this job is really dangerous."

He moved to stand in front of you, and your hands started shaking as he took a box out of his pocket.

"I love you more than I thought possible," he continued, and your hands flew to cover your mouth as he kneeled in front of you, opening the box to reveal a ring. "And if you're okay with it, I want to be more than your boyfriend. And the next time we have one of these interviews, I want to be able to tell people what it's like being married to another hero, and how we make it work."

"Oh my god, what are you doing?" you asked softly, tears blurring your vision as reality set in.

"Will you marry me?" Shouto asked.

Your breath caught in your throat as it constricted, and you nodded, giving him a bright smile.

"I need a verbal answer darling," he reminded you.

"Yes, yes, a million times yes!" you cried, throwing your arms around him, nearly knocking him over as you launched yourself at him.

Your friends were cheering around you, and you were crying in joy, and the audience was in an uproar, but Shouto had one strong arm around your waist, and he was laughing fondly as you continued to hug him.

"You just had to be a dramatic ass about it, didn't you?" Bakugou asked, shaking his head fondly as he watched the two of you.

"W-Wait, you all knew about this?" you asked, pulling away to wipe at your eyes, remembering that this was on live television.

"Yeah, he came to us about three months ago wanting to know the best way to propose to you," Midoriya said, helping you up off Shouto's lap.

"Three months?" you asked, turning to your boyfriend- no, your fiance- who was smiling shyly.

"Yeah, I already had the ring," he admitted softly, taking your hand in his. "I just wanted to know the right way to do it."

"And you decided that doing it on live national television was the best way to ask me to marry you? Did you take Aoyama's advice or what?" you asked, laughing.

"It worked didn't it?" Shouto asked.

"I would've said yes regardless of whether it had been live or not you jackass," you said, hitting his arm lightly.

"I know," he replied, wrapping an arm around you waist. "And that's why I love you."

"I love you too, babe," you said, kissing him softly.

"You two are going to make me sick," Bakugou snarled.

"You're just upset that you didn't think of asking Eiji today," you retorted, rolling your eyes.

Bakugou flushed pink, and Eiji just laughed, ruffling his boyfriend's hair softly, whispering something to him.

Shouto pulled away from you so he could slip the ring on your finger, kissing your hand like an old timey gentleman, and you threw your arms around him again.

"I love you Shouto," you told him, smiling as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

"I love you too."