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haikyuucute · 4 years ago

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Possessive (Ushijima Wakatoshi) [Omegaverse AU]

Pairing: Alpha!Ushijima x Omega!Reader

Request: Hi! I love your writings! I was wondering if I could request more omegaverse!Ushijima with the firecracker omega, I’ve had this idea of like he’s really close to a rut and she just keeps getting on his nerves until finally he breaks when his rut hits him full force and he just picks her up and takes her straight into his dorm and they do the dirty tango? You’re amazing and I wanna be friends 🥺🥺💞💞

Word Count: 1.3k

[A/N]: Unfortunately this was getting kinda long so i didnt rlly add smut but it does get heated in the end

And for those of you who don’t know, this is an addition to my first Omegaverse Ushijima post which you can find here:

Untamable

————

Being in a relationship with you had been easy in some aspects and difficult in others.

The easy stuff was that he already knew how to handle you when you became too brazen. You were notorious for getting in fights with omegas, alphas, and even betas from time to time, but Ushijima was now in tune to you. He could tell by the subtle changes in your scent when you were becoming too rowdy and ready to start a fight with the first person that got on your nerves. So he knew exactly when to pull you away from a situation before it even started.

He had even gotten accustomed to you trying to challenge him even over the smallest of things. He usually won in the end but he did have a soft spot for you and would let you get away with things from time to time.

But one of the more difficult things about you was how extroverted you were.

You marched to the beat of your own drum and it meant you liked your freedom. It wasn’t that Ushijima was particularly an overbearing alpha but that didn’t stop his instinctual need to want to know where you were when you weren’t with him, especially since you were a magnet for trouble.

He adjusted though, because at the end of the day, it was still his bond mark that was on your neck and if freedom was what you craved then who was he to deny his omega.

But that’s when he didn’t have to deal with the spike of hormones when he was about to start a rut.

Ushijima was an incredibly strong alpha, but even he couldn’t control himself very well when it came to ruts, and now that he was mated, it was that much stronger.

And with your tendency to challenge him and do whatever you wanted, you weren’t exactly helping.

His rut was scheduled to happen in a week, and he could already feel the warning signs.

He felt more aggressive but that was easily remedied through vigorous training during volleyball practice, his scent was stronger, not enough to where he had to stay in his room yet, but it was definitely stronger. But the thing that got on your nerves was how possessive he had become.

He rarely let you leave his side and spent most of his time scenting you. But what really bothered you was how he refused to let you out of eye sight.

It irked you, this kind of behavior was exactly why you said you never wanted to mate with an alpha. But as far as alphas went you guessed he was one of the better ones since he apparently only became like this when he was about to go into a rut.

But still, it was frustrating... so it wasn’t inherently surprising when you went out of your way to do exactly what he didn’t want you to.

After the two first days of Ushijima refusing to leave your side, you avoided him like the plague (in your head you made up for it by telling yourself you’d be with him throughout the entirety of his actual rut).

You left your dorm earlier than usual so he couldn’t pick you up, you didn’t meet him for lunch, you skipped the one class you did share with him, and to make matters worse you hadn’t even shown up to his practice like you usually did.

So when he showed up at your dorm after volleyball practice looking pretty pissed, it wasn’t too much of a surprise. He pushed his way into your room, pulling you with him. He seated himself on your bed and pulled you into his lap, where he spent the rest of the night scenting you.

But when you had done it again the next day, he was beginning to reach his breaking point.

And then you did it for a third day.

By now, you had thoroughly pissed off Ushijima, so when he had showed up to your dorm that day to find you weren’t there either, he was ready to tear up the entire school to find you.

Others were absolutely frightened when they saw him walking down the hallway with a mean scowl on his face, covering their noses as his intensified scent hit them.

He had gone into rut two days earlier than he was supposed to.

And all because his little omega couldn’t do what she was supposed to.

With his heightened sense of smell it didn’t take long to spot your tangy citrusy scent. It was as if the smell coated his tongue and he could practically taste you. You were suffocating every one of his senses, and if he didn’t have you soon he’d start getting violent.

Your scent had lead him to the library, where he spotted you as soon as he stepped in.

Your eyes were wide, you had smelled him before you saw him and you knew he was pissed, but when you saw that look on his face you were ready to cower away.

He stalked towards you.

”Waka-kun—“

”Quiet.” His booming voice hissed, before he ungracefully picked you up from your seat and slung you over his shoulder.

Your panicked eyes glanced over the library and the stunned looks of all the students— even the librarian, before you felt your cheeks heat up.

As soon as he had you, he was already making his way back out of the library.

”Wait— my bag-!”

”Leave it.”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to go into rut for like two more days!” You yelped, trying to wiggle out of his grasp, but he just tightened his hold on you.

”Behave.”

The tone in his voice shut you up easily and you stopped struggling, the omega in you becoming oddly docile.

That was when his scent really hit you.

Completely engulfed in it, you couldn’t stop the oncoming arousal that flowed through you, making you bury your nose against his jacket and whimper.

Before you knew it, you were in his empty dorm and he was tossing you onto his bed and climbing on top of you.

Your head was dizzy with his scent, barely acknowledging how he gripped your thighs and pulled you closer, your clothed core meeting his hardened cock, the only barriers separating you were your panties and his gym shorts.

You attempted to grind against him but his hands were quick to pin your hips to the bed, making you whimper.

“‘M sorry, Waka-kun,” you whined.

”Address me properly, Omega,” he said, hands slipping under your skirt to pull your panties off.

”Alpha,” you cried out, correcting yourself, as he threw your panties off to the side.

You quickly wrapped your legs around his hips, sitting up as you reached out for him to pull him into a kiss, but he stopped you when he wrapped a hand around your throat. He pulled another whimper from you when he squeezed.

”You’ve been bad lately, Omega. Do I need to fuck some manners into you to teach you how to behave,” his voice was low and steady, teetering on a growl, sending a chill down your spine.

You weren’t used to seeing him so mad at you and it was making you feel helpless and guilty for displeasing your alpha.

He released your neck, dropping you back on the mattress.

He didn’t bother with undressing you or himself properly, instead deciding to push down his shorts and boxers, releasing his cock.

He teased your entrance with the tip of his cock, pleased with how you were whimpering and writhing underneath him— it always amazed him how in moments like these you dropped your headstrong and abrasive attitude, and devolved into the weak little omega under him now.

”Start begging Omega,” his voice rumbled, eyes intense as they watched you carefully, “Because you’re not cumming without my permission.”

With that he thrusted into you roughly, relishing in the cries and begs that escaped your lips for him.

Omegaverse AU Taglist:

@shiguraaa

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #ushijima #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushiwaka #ushiwaka x reader #wakatoshi #alpha!ushijima wakatoshi #hq!! omegaverse #omegaverse au #haikyuu omegaverse #omegaverse #a/b/o #a/b/o fanfic #alpha #omega #beta #alpha omega beta #alpha!ushijima wakatoshi x omega!reader

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lovestrucked-again · 4 years ago

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I read ur breeding kink with Jaehyun and I just woke up in a sweaty heated mess from the dream it left me with. Like uk how Jae is so in love with children? omg just him desperate to have a child and constantly fucking and i-

a/n: so i saw this AGES ago in my inbox but i didnt answer it because i had this idea and only finally just put it down (sorry). *clinks a glass* TO JAEHYUN AND A GODDAMN BREEDING KINK.

warning: lots of fucking, lots of overstim, breeding kink, 2k

Okay so everyone knows Jaehyun has a soft spot for children and to him, the thought of having his own kids one day is such a dream. He can’t help but vividly picture you, walking around with a hand on your stomach, carrying his child looking so glowy and pretty.

He’s probably mentioned it earlier on in your relationship, believing that you’re ‘the one’ for him; the one who makes him truly happy and want to be better as a person. He promised to care for you, to watch you advance in your own personal goals and to cheer you on from the side lines.

After being together for a few years, the talk of having your own child would come up almost every night while you lay cuddling in bed, “Do you think about it?” he asks, his voice in a cautious whisper.

“Hmm?”

“Having a child with me.”

“Of course I do Jae. I want to… just not right now.” you tell him, not wanting to bring a child into your lives in the midst of your busy individual schedules. You wanted to offer your child all your attention not anything half-assed.

“But one day right? You’ll give me a baby?” he murmurs in the darkness of the room.

“Definitely one day.” You mumble back, your lips forming into a soft smile against his chest.

A couple of months later and the two of you had made it back to your apartment after a long night out on your 4-year anniversary. That night when you made it to your front door, Jaehyun could no longer keep his hands off of you. Kissing you all over your face and neck, as he grips onto your waist, pulling you into him; digging his fingers into your skin. “Fucking beautiful and fucking mine, aren’t you?” He whispers, watching the way you squirm underneath him tangling within the sheets and almost sliding off the bed. He pushes himself into you, filling you with his incredible hardness as you groan, wrapping your legs around him and pulling him tightly into you. Your hips snap up to meet his, moving up and down on his cock, sending pangs of pleasure through your feverish body. “Can’t wait to see your tummy grow.”

He doesn't mean to say it, not wanting to pressure you into anything but the words slip off his tongue as he struggles to stay sane feeling your walls wrap tightly around him. All your gasps and soft whimpers echo in his ear and the sound of his cock wetly plopping out of your hole continue to drive him further into his fantasy. “Fuck baby, tell me to stop.” He chokes out, his teeth clenched and gritting against each other as he scrambles to get the words out.

“W-What, why?” You don’t want for him to stop and you’re confused at his sudden halt.

“If you don’t,” he grunts loudly, his hips snapping forward into yours, “I’m afraid I might put a baby in you.”

He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against your shoulder, his breath heavy as he attempts to restrain himself. You let out a quiet gasp, involuntarily clenching around him and he draws in a sharp breath. He tries to slow himself down, thrusting into at a lazy pace to prevent himself from coming inside; but not completely – as it would’ve felt like pure torture for him.

You bring your fingers up to his soft curls, tugging at them gently to bring his gaze up. Jaehyun whimpers softly but he looks at you, his vision hazy as he tries to focus only on your face and not at the feeling of your walls surrounding him.

“I want you.” You whisper, watching his brows furrow in confusion.

“What?” he asks, unable to comprehend your words.

“I want a baby with you.” You repeat.

Jaehyun nods, his nervous expression from before turning into a devilish smile. That was his breaking point.

***

It all happens rather quickly, Jaehyun being very impatient after learning you were also ready for the next step. The pills are the first thing to go; letting your body take his sperm and work it out naturally. He takes all the little opportunities of free time he has to make sure your filled with him.

On late nights when he’d come home after practice at ungodly hours, you’d be woken up by him in bed, his soft kisses planted around your body causing you to stir from your sleep. On mornings where he had more time to stay at home, you’d both be in the shower; your front pressed against the cold tiles as he drives himself into you.

He’d take you anywhere and anytime he could, desperate to finally have a child with you.

On a particular afternoon, Haechan and Mark had come around, sitting outside on the balcony of your shared apartment. You could see them through the glass screen, separating the balcony and the indoors as you focused on the cleaning the dishes in the sink. Jaehyun took you right there and then. You felt his erection poking at the back of your ass, “Jaehyun, we have friends over,” you warned him.

Instead, his hands ran over your stomach and down your pants as you groaned quietly, cursing yourself for not bothering with panties because of your slack sweatpants. “We can be quick.”

Without wasting time, he had placed the head of his cock at your pussy, rubbing it back and forth a few times between your wet slit before he eased into you. It slides in easily, and in one smooth motion he buries himself to your hilt. Your hands reach for the counter, struggling to keep balance as your ass moves back to meet him. His hands find your hips, moving a little faster, thrusting a little deeper. You kept your focus on the boys outside, watching them laugh and talk to each other, oblivious to the scene unfolding behind them. You took a hand off the counter, reaching down for your clit, desperate to relieve yourself quickly. Without any time lost, your legs buckle and you cum, spraying the floor as Jaehyun shoots his load deep into you.

The two of you stood there, his cock softening as you caught your breath. Jaehyun’s first to notice Mark getting up from his seat, quickly pulling out of your pussy and drawing a long string of cum out. He swiftly pulls his pants up and you do as well, leaving immediately when you see the grey fabric beginning to stain dark by the mess flowing out of your pussy. Jaehyun ducks down with a paper towel, forced to quickly clean the mess on the floor as Mark walks in.

***

Again and again he would beat into you, the slick sound of his cock pumping in and out of your wet pussy loud in your ears, along with the frantic creak of the bedsprings, the banging of the headboard against the wall. “Going to make you full of me princess.” He hums, his body going suddenly stiff, ramming you deep as you scream feeling his fingers claw into your breasts. Your pussy feels crammed with cock, and you can feel him throb hard, shooting his semen into you. You cry out with him, and then shortly after cum too, thrusting your hips up at him in a spasm of release as his seed pours into you. You arch your back clawing at the bedspread as you tremble beneath him, the blood roaring in your ears.

It’s not even minutes later before he flips you over, “one more time baby,” he whispers dragging your body closer to his to align himself again and drive forward.

A few days later and Jaehyun had bought home a pregnancy test, bouncing around excitedly as he waited for you to check. Both of you were sure that night had done it, but as they say, things never go as easy as you want. You sit back against the tiles as you think of how to tell him, it’s negative. Jaehyun doesn't take it well, dashing back to the store for another test, believing the first one was just a mistake. When you test it again you can only sigh, “Jae it’s not broken, it’s negative.”

He tries his best to keep hide his disappointment, taking it as a challenge instead. “We just have to try harder.” He grins, picking you up from the bathroom floor and taking you back to the bedroom instead.

He eases into you slower, knowing your still sensitive from the relentless fucking over the previous few days. “Just have to try again.” He murmurs, more to reassure himself as you nod. You hum quietly, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you whimper and fight against the burning in your thighs stretched widely against the sheet.

Jaehyun goes gently at first, choosing to drive himself further into your hilt rather than going in quickly. He’s thrusts are thorough, moving in long strokes against your walls tightly. You can hear him grit his teeth as he urges his self-control, struggling to adapt to a slower pace. He drops onto his elbows, his face centremetres away from yours as you feel his heavy pants at your cheeks.

“It’s okay,” you comfort him running a hand against his back, “it’s okay.”

His hips move a little faster as he grunts louder, his body moving forward with each thrust as you squeeze around him, “Take it all princess, all of it.” He whispers, pushing into your hilt as he feels himself shoot.

You’ve never seen him so desperate, it scares you a little but it also makes you feel a little nervous, worried how his mentally doing. He doesn't like to share much about how he feels, afraid to scare you. You try to shift under him, his arms trapping your head from turning and his body pushing closely into yours, “J-Jaehyun?” you whimper.

He lifts his head at your call, moving again to push himself deeper into you, letting his remains leak inside and mix with your juices.

“M-making sure.” He grunts, pushing your shoulders down as he moves his body up towards the bedframe “just in case.”

He doesn't stop after that; taking only a quick break preparing himself for another round. You squeal at the sudden loss of his cock inside before he begins pounding back into you suddenly, your nails digging into his skin as you hold onto him. Your body trembles underneath him from the intensity and you moan as you feel him shoot into you again.

“Stay still.” He coos, stopping you from moving away. It feels like your pussy is flooding, your walls struggling to clench weakly around him.

You watch as he adjusts the pillow underneath your head, planting soft kisses over your face and neck. His cock twitches inside you with every movement and you jerk everytime, “Stay like this for a while,” he murmurs, wanting to make sure he had done everything possible.

“You’ll get tired like that.” You pout, worried his arms wouldn't be able to hold his weight for a long period of time.

“I can take it.” He whispers, leaning his cheek against your shoulder as he shifts to keep his weight off you.

Your eyes begin to droop and you can feel his heavy breaths calm down against your neck. With a hand on his back, you use your free hand to stroke his hair, his exhales becoming softer and softer as time passes.

Jaehyun lays quietly in your embrace, his cock softening inside you. “I think we did it,” he whispers, his voice low and only barely audible. You feel his words vibrate against your body and with your eyes closed you give a soft nod in agreement.

#nct smut #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct jaehyun #jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #dirty hours #anon

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cherry-punk · 3 years ago

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When you're thirsty, you know your body needs water.

You dont argue with yourself over whether or not you're really thirsty.

No one says, "Again? Didnt you just have a sip earlier?"

The same should go for hunger and food.

When you are hungry, you should eat.

Why do we debate our own bodies signals? Why do we feel ashamed for feeling hunger? Why do we force ourselves into strict schedules of eating?

Something that occurred to me as Ive been struggling with disordered eating. I can't believe all these years I've never thought of it this way. I used to "stretch out" meal times, only eating at specific intervals and just "holding out" inbetween, and I never questioned it. I never saw it for the disordered starvation it was until I realized I would never apply the same logic or rules to staying hydrated.

Bodies dont lie when they need water and they dont lie when they need food.

#i still feel guilty sometimes or like im. giving in. but im trying to heal from that toxicity

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remindmetohaveherdrugtested · 4 years ago

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Once upon a time

Title: Once upon a time

Prompt: Everything seems to be going perfecrly so why do you feel the need to self harm after being 'clean' for so long? A reader insert where the reader is struggling with self harm again and Morgan helps.

Author: remindmetohaveherdrugtested

Tags: #reader insert #Derek Morgan #Comfort

Trigger warnings: #self harm #blood mention #murder/kidnap #mild swearing

Sat in the back of the SUV, you rest your head against the cool glass of the window and stare into the small gap between Derek's headrest and the cars' frame. Your eyes focused on the steering wheel, held steadily in place by his hands, before flicking back to the oncoming traffic.

Your mind wasn't really there. It was flicking between a million and one thoughts that were barely forming before the next one took over. You should be happy. You had exactly what you wanted from life; a happy little family, a job that you loved, a beautiful house and friends that you could count on. So why were you feeling so numb? Once upon a time that was all you dreamed about.

"Are we almost there?" A sleepy voice from the front broke you from your thoughts and you moved your head.

"About 10 minutes" Dereks steady voice answered, not taking his eyes off the road. "I wouldn't go back to sleep if I were you".

You watched him glance quickly at Spence beside him who looked like he was about to fall back asleep at any moment. It was 2am and the case was quite urgent according to Hotch and Garcia. Derek had swung by to pick you and Reid up as neither of you drove and the rest of the team wouldnt be long.

It wasnt long until the SUV was pulled up beside the rest of the team who were just starting to grab their go bags from another SUV to board the jet. Quickly stretching, you hopped out of the car and went to the boot to pull out your black bag and sling it across your shoulders. "We good to go? I need to get some serious sleep before we land" You asked, forcing a tiny smile at the rest of them. You barely waited for Hotch to nod before you were walking up the steps to the door and entering the cabin.

Immediately you slung your bag into the overhead bin and then settled yourself onto the sofa out of the way, watching as the rest of the team joined you. Each member put their bags away before settling down in a chair. It wasnt long until the jet was airborne but you knew you wouldnt land for a couple of hours and it would be a half an hour drive to the hotel.

"I'll let you all get some sleep shortly. We're headed to Texas" You knew that already from the call that Garcia had made earlier. "We think we have a cold case re-emerging. 10 years ago 2 brown haired, blue eyed and low risk women went missing. 5 years later their bodies were found having only died recently. 5 days later 2 more victims went missing and their bodies have just shown up. If the unsub sticks to their schedule the next two victims will go missing in 5 days and we will loose the trail again. The victims both looked to be kept in relatively good condition, cause of death was a single stab wound through the heart. Crime scence photos are on your tablets to have a look at and then you should try to get some rest" Hotch finished.

-------------------------------------------------------

It was 7pm and Hotch had sent everyone back to the hotel for the night. You stood in the onsuite bathroom and stripped quickly to shower. As you got out you caught a glimpse of your arms in the mirror. Thin silvery lines marred them and although the last time you had cut yourself deliberately was years ago the lines had not fully faded yet. Your fingers traced them slowly. You weren't proud of it and no one else on the team knew about that part of your life. The familiar urge took hold of your chest. It was a deep and sinking feeling. Like you couldnt breathe. You knew that harming yourself would get rid of the feeling. It would allow you to feel anything other than the numbness that had taken over recently. Usually you were able to push away the urges, breathe through them and distract yourself but today was just different. You were tired of pushing them away and you just wanted it to go away.

Almost in a trance your fingers had found a razor and was removing the blades from it. It was like you were watching someone else draw on your skin. Watching blood trickling down your arms, as if it were rain on the windows. The pain was fresh. It felt good to be able to feel anything other than that pressing feeling on your chest and numbness.

The second the razor touched the side new feelings rushed through you. Guilt. Panic. Anger. How could you give in after so many years of being clean? How would you hide this? Why did you even feel this way when every part of your life was, by definition, perfect.

"Shit. Shit. Shit"

You spun around and shoved your arm into the shower, wincing as the running water touched the fresh wounds and watching as it took away the blood.

Pulling the towel back around you quickly, you walked quickly back into the room and rumaged in your bag to pull out some bandages you kept in there for minor injuries in the field. As you pulled the bandages out there was a loud thud as your bag fell to the floor onto your foot and you swore loudly but didn't pick it up.

With experienced hands you started bandaging your arm up. You'd banaged injuries up all the time in the field but this being from yourself made you feel a wave of guilt again.

The silence in the room was broken by a few raps on the door.

"Uh yeah?" You called trying to quickly pin the bandage in place.

"You alright? I heard some thuds and swearing" Dereks deep voice came through the door.

"Oh, uh ,yeah. Just dropped my go bag on my foot" You tried to laugh it off but something in your voice must've given you away because a moment later the door cracked open.

"Are you sure Y/N?" Dereks voice was clearer with the door cracked.

"Yeah yeah, it'll just a little bruise" You said, rushing to pull the towel around yourself so that he didnt see everything. You closed your eyes and sighed as you realised you had answered too quickly and your voice had cracked.

The door opened slowly before softly shutting. "Whats wrong? You've seemed a bit off all day. Did something else happen?" He paused, his eyes glancing over you and resting on your bandaged arm which was trying to help keep your towel in place. "Y/N?" His voice trailed off and he walked quickly over to you "What happened?"

"I happened" You muttered, turning away and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You happened? What did you do?" Derek half laughed, clearly expecting you to have fallen or walked into something. His eyes narrowed as you didn't reply. "Y/N?"

You felt the slow burning prickle behind your eyes and felt a tear roll down your cheek. "Nothing" You snapped and turned. "I-uh-Sorry, Im just tired and was a bit clumsy"

You felt a soft hand touch your shoulder. "Doesn't seem like nothing. Why don't you get dressed and we'll talk about it?"

Your hand clenched around the towel as you became painfully aware that you were still naked with nothing but a towel around you. You nodded but said nothing as you got up and grabbed the pyjamas that were at the foot of the bed and walked quickly into the bathroom. Your eyes caught site of the bloody blade lying in the sink and you fought a wave of sickness that arose from it. Quickly pulling on your pyjamas, you turned the tap on to wash the blood away and the dropped the blade out of sight. You didn't need more temptation.

Re-emerging from the bathroom you saw Derek had moved your bag onto the chair and had perched himself on the end of the bed. You walked around him and on the side of the bed.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Derek slowly turned around to look at you although you determinedly avoided his gaze.

"Lapse of judgement" You muttered. It wasnt a lie but it wasn't the most straightforward answer. It didn't deter Derek.

"You can talk to me you know. I won't tell anyone and I might be able to help."

You laughed. It was cold and seemed hollow even to you. "If I knew do you think Id be in this mess."

The bed moved and you looked up as Derek sat beside you and slowly wrapped his arms around you. It seemed to break some dam inside you that you had been holding back since he had knocked on your door and tears began to stream down your face.

"I didn't mean to" You whispered. "I haven't in so many years. I was doing well but I just lost my focus. It wont happen again. Please don't tell the others"

Derek pulled you in closer and you turned to press your face into his chest. His heartbeat was comforting. "If you don't want me to tell anyone then I won't" He said simply.

"Im just so numb and it just happened and I just wanted to feel something again. I don't know why because everything is perfect so I dont have a reason to feel like this and why should I have any reason to do that" You rambled coming to a halt with a look of disgust on your face.

"These things happen. It can happen to anyone" Derek soothed. "This line of work is tough, even on the strongest of us. And these feelings can hit anyone. Even those who think everything they have is perfect. Theyre normal"

More sobs racked you body, getting stronger and stronger. It was like you lost all control. "Please" you sobbed. "I just want to feel something. Help me feel something"

Derek pulled you up the bed and pulled you into his chest. "You had a slip. Everyone has relapses. It doesnt mean anything. You'll get through this. I'll be there for you. Always"

You had no more words to say, what else was there to say? Instead you buried your face in his chest and continued to sob until you felt tiredness overcome you and let it take you off into nothingness.

When you woke up, Derek was gone. At the bottom of the bed you saw a pile of fresh bandages, a small tube of antiseptic cream and a note. Picking up the note, you quickly read through it.

"Baby girl,

Once upon a time is the start of a story. You have to keep fighting to see the end."

#tw #self harm #comfort #criminal minds #derek morgan #reader insert #drabble request

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hongjoongslut · 4 years ago

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VIP Access

a/n: this is my first attempt at this so im very sorry if it sucks :(

Pairing: Boyfriend!Kim Hongjoong × Girlfriend!Reader

Word Count: 2.05k

Warnings: smut, choking, y/n having anxiety and getting a little insecure but hongjoong reassures her :)

enjoy!

Seeing how many fans Ateez attracted did not shock you. You usually stayed in the apartment due to your major social anxiety. This fansign was different, it was scheduled on your anniversary with the one and only Kim Hongjoong. "I know you have some bad anxiety but please baby? I'll make it up to you" he pleaded for you to go, ending with a wink. You let out a slight giggle before sighing heavily. "Okay honey, I'll go, but dont expec-" he immediately grabbed you and hugged you, lifting you off the ground. "Yes yes yes!!! Finally I can show everyone how truly amazing you are". He sets you down, noticing how red your face has turned. He just giggles and leaves to go shower. Tomorrow would be a big day, for both of you.

"why does this signing have to be in the asscrack of dawn" you let out after grunting at his alarm. "Honey, it's at 10. Its 8:00 right now" he laughs at your sleepy state. "fine I'll get up now but I'm sleeping for the rest of the week after it's done" He shook your hand. "Deal, love".

It was not your event so you didnt have to dress very fancy. You did, however, want to look nice since this is a first time.

"Babyyyy its 9:00, how far are you from being done?" he sang through the apartment. You walked out shortly after his little tune. You went with a nice short sleeve shirt that accentuated your chest, some black ripped jeans and your favorite black and white Vans.

"How can you look so gorgeous wearing literally anything, y/n?" he walked towards you, smiling. "I'm the gorgeous one here? Look at yourself." He was wearing a stunning black suit with a sash over the front of it, very reminiscent of his Wonderland era. "I'm only wearing it since we just passed the year anniversary for the music video release, you know how I usually look when I go to these things." you smile and wrap your arms around his neck. "I love you no matter what you wear, but this is definitely a sexy look on you" he smirks and softly places his lips on yours. You move your hand to rub the back of his head, causing him to jump back. "you know where that gets you and we do not have the time to do all of that right now princess" you smirk. "I didn't do anything joongie. I was just caressing your head." Both of you knew what you were trying to do and surprisingly, he fell right into it. He smashed his lips onto yours, instantly colliding his tongue with yours. His hands held your hips tightly, likely leaving bruises. He breaks the moment, you whimpering at the loss of him. "c-can I try something y/n?? we've never done it before but I think you'll like it.." you tilt your head and slightly laugh. "joongie dont ever break a kiss for that. just do it, but if you hear our safe word then stop." you start the kiss this time, to gain the contact back and to see what he had planned. You could feel his right hand creep up from your hip, wrapping around your back to pull you closer, if that was possible. His hand rubbed your back for a moment before it sped to your throat. He applied no pressure yet, making sure you were okay with it. you smile into the kiss and moaned a little. The heat was stopped once again when his phone went off. "Shit, Mingi's here to pick us up." he walked with your hand entwined with his but pausing right before opening the front door. "but we will continue this later darling."

You have never seen so many people in one place before. Your heartbeat raced as you walked by all the screaming fans. Your body was on autopilot, just trying to find a quiet place to calm down. Once inside at their booth, you slightly calmed down. "I'm sorry our anniversary started out with a fansign, but this event ends at 12. After this, we can do whatever you want to do". he kissed your hand, rubbing the spot with his finger.

It's been about an hour and a half and you haven't spoke much except when spoken to, whether by a fan or joongie. You can tell he was concerned about you but he didnt have enough time to help you entirely at the moment. He would squeeze your hand every once in a while, just to show he loves you.

"Are you good y/n?" San asked after finishing one final picture with a fan. "Yes I'm okay San, I'm just very tired. I didnt get much sleep last night" he nodded and left to help clean up. The manager gave you and joongie permission to leave since it was a special day for you both. The ride home was loud and crazy. Mingi and Hongjoong laughing and smiling at everything they saw today. "baby, what's wrong? you've been off ever since they opened the doors. is it your anxiety?"

You nod slightly and lean on his shoulder, not wanting to go into depth about it. he rubbed your shoulder until you guys arrived home. You both said your goodbyes to Mingi and walked into your safe space. "I know how your anxiety gets after big events so I will give you space, love. I'm gonna be in our room unfancing my appearance. Come find me or yell when you're ready" he kissed your head and left the living room.

You hated hiding stuff from him. It was your anxiety today, but for a different reason. you saw so many beautiful girls and you constantly questioned why he chose you. you weren't exactly in perfect shape, stretch marks covering your chest, stomach and thighs. He hasn't seen you like this often, but he did rarely catch it. Sometimes when you're walking and you're wearing jeans, you pull them up to hide some of your stomach. You had these thoughts everyday and it only got worse today. tears pricked your eyes, begging to be released. you gave in, letting them fall freely. you started sobbing, trying to keep as quiet as possible. you lay down on the couch and cry into the leather. you let out a loud sob, not realizing at first. Hongjoong ran into the room, grabbing your shoulders. you were so lost in pain, you didn't initially hear him.

"Baby what's wrong? what happened? are you okay?" he is firing these questions at you and your mind finally breaks. you quickly sit up, staring at him through blurred vision. "you saw all of those girls, joongie! what's so special about me? im not talented like they are. im not in shape. i don't see why you chose me instead of one of the million girls you saw today!" your voice cracks and you crumble into his arms. "Y/n, why didn't you mention this sooner?" all you could reply was sobs. he sat with you, rubbing your back until your breathing evened out. "So you want to know why i chose you?" you nod lightly. "I first fell for your looks. You do not need to compare yourself to anyone's shape baby. I love you for you. Then I got to know you, I fell in love with your personality. Baby you're so amazing, everything you do makes me fall in love more." you look up and start smiling. He grabs your chin and kissed your forehead. "Another thing," he lowered his head to meet your eyes. "none of those girls have a pussy that can make me feel as good as yours does." your face turned a red shade. "no one in this world can make me weak in my knees just from wearing a shirt, jeans and Vans. you are everything I want, and much more than I deserve" he kissed you, not knowing the heat his words just caused. you broke the kiss to straddle him, not letting him ask anything before kissing him again. You held his cheeks, savoring each and every inch of his tongue. He pushed you away, catching his breath. "what was all that about baby?" you could start to feel his hard on through your jeans. "you wanna show me a reason not to be insecure? You said you'd make it up to me if I went and our little 'event' before the signing would be continued when we got home. But if you dont want to, that's fi-" his hand wrapped around your neck, adding pressure to it. "princess, ive been thinking about fucking you ever since you decided to tease me earlier." he then realized his hand was squeezing and pulled it away instantly. "im sorry baby are you okay i didnt realize I was doin-" you put your finger on his mouth. You stood to take off your jeans and shirt, letting him enjoy the view. "if you wanna show me I dont need to be insecure, then mark me. fuck me until i cannot remember how to speak. once again, if you dont hear that safe word, then keep going." he sat with his jaw dropped. he swiftly stood up to remove his tshirt and his boxers. you unclip your bra and take off your panties, throwing them away from you. he grabbed your hips and picked you up with no struggle. He carried you to your shared bedroom and set you on the sheets. he attacks your neck, making you moan right on contact. his free hand slips down to your pussy, feeling your juices leak around his fingertips. He lifts his hand and licks them clean. "so much already baby...god you taste so fucking good." his lips leave your neck to kiss your chest, leaving more hickeys. "all of this beauty...all for me." you moan as he attacks your nipple. "fuck that feels amazing.." he hums before giving the other fair treatment. he kissed slowly down your stomach, rubbing the sides. "one of my favorite parts of you.." you start to smile before it turns into a moan. he dives into your pussy, lapping inside of you and rubbing your sensitive nub. "fuck hongjoong, just fuck me already, please." he leaves a light kiss on your clit before kissing your lips roughly. he teases your entrance with his head, making you grunt impatiently. he enters you slowly, watching your head slowly lean back as he fills you. "fuck y/n, how are you still so tight..." he grunts as he slowly sets a pace. he fills you so perfectly, you could cum right there. "f-faster baby, pl-please" he rammed his hips into yours, hearing nothing but your screams and skin slapping. "see, nobody can sound as-as pretty as you do when you moan" you smile momentarily before grabbing his hand and placing it on your throat. "god I love you...i love you so fucking much" he squeezes your throat, a high pitch moan escaping at the sensation. "I'm s-so close joongi-e." he kisses you, swallowing your moans as they come out. "Also princess, remember no girl gets to be fucked so good by me, you have VIP access..." With that sentence, you saw stars, your juices coating his twitching cock. "fuck princess!" you feel your walls being painted with his cum. He pulls out, viewing your marked and fucked out figure. He hands you a tshirt and clean underwear to change into while he goes to the kitchen. while he was gone, you walked up to your mirror, staring at your body. he walked behind you, hugging you tightly. "look how beautiful you look in my clothes...even after being fucked" he giggled and you let out a slight smile. "come on beauty, let's get to bed. i know you want to sleep in tomorrow." you jumped on the bed, laughing as hongjoong followed. "i promise baby, you'll always have me."

THE END

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ladybugsfanfics · 5 years ago

Text

Shut Up And Kiss Me [13/?] | Tom Hiddleston

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x reader

WC: 4.1k

Warnings: pining, angst, sex implications

Summary: You and Professor Hiddleston have been colleagues for many years now, and through those years the hatred for each other has only grown. Now, as a new school year starts, you’re being told that you have to share a classroom or a class. Neither are happy about the outcome, but knowing you’ll never come to an agreement, you let the class choose for you. Team-teaching is rare in 2019, but it is a lot harder to do when you can’t stand the person you’re doing it with.

A/N: i wished i could have posted this earlier, but that didnt happen. Christmas themes even though christmas is over, but who cares?? here you go anyways and i hope you enjoy ^_^

Previous Part | Series Masterlist | Part Fourteen

There had been many things to take out of the week and a half after your confession to Tom, but the biggest thing you take out of it is how nice it was to get back into familiar territory. Bickering with Tom had been a pastime you had forgotten about and it had welled a warm feeling in your gut.

If there’s one thing you now know to keep doing, it’s creating small, friendly fights with Tom. Just for the sake of it.

Now that the trip to Scotland is over, you’re back to your regular schedule, which also happens to mean no Chris. Despite having spent the entire time together―even going on what you’d like to call an actual date―you hadn't gotten any closer to figure out what the relationship actually was. Is.

You guess you’re friends who occasionally see each other and when you do, fuck and act like a normal couple. But sure about that, you never will be unless you talk to him. Seeing as you don’t talk that much otherwise, you guess it shouldn’t be a big deal to just try and not think about the small amount of feelings that have been boiling within you for the American.

Yet―and this is something you’re mind doesn’t seem to let go off―something is still swirling inside you and leaning towards someone else. You need advice, and you need it from someone that doesn’t know anything about your life in any other sense than the fact that you’re a professor.

So, who’s better to ask than the class of Creative Writing you’re teaching alone because you and Tom never actually agreed to teach together again and the man had laid plans for the day seeing as you’d agreed it was your turn.

The classroom is filling up with the students, none them surprised at the lack of their second teacher. However, you can hear some of them whisper about when you’ll start to teach together again.

“Hi,” you say, feeling remarkably awkward for the first time standing in front of a bunch of students (usually, you get energy from it). “It’ll only be me today, but Professor Hiddleston will be back here with me on Thursday. It’s been a little weird these past few weeks, hasn’t it?”

They nod in agreement, a few murmurs passing through that you hear as ‘about time’. It’s only been two weeks, and three of four classes. The last one neither you nor Tom could be there as you were in Scotland.

At the thought, a hand raises. You nod in its direction. “How was Scotland?”

You nod. “It was okay. Very informative and all around a good conference. It’s always nice to meet other professors and get the chance to share teaching techniques and some stories here and there.”

And that is what makes the first half hour about Scotland and what happened. They ask about techniques you’re thinking of trying out, of professors you met (some they had heard of from friends at other universities), and they ask whether you and Tom made up. Apparently, they had all sensed something was wrong.

Eventually, you decide that it’s time to start something more productive. “Okay, last question.” You nod in the direction of the boy on the front row. “Mr. Holland?”

The boy lets his hand fall to his side. “Are you and Professor Hiddleston, you know, getting to know each other?”

You’re not sure if the question hit your heart and that that’s the reason for the pain, or if an actual knife is stuck in your gut. You swallow the lump in your throat. “I really hope you’re not insinuating what I think you are.”

“He is,” pipes from the back row.

“And to be honest, we’re all wondering,” comes another input.

You sigh. “Really?”

An agreed murmur of ‘you look cute together’, ‘there’s a definite chance you like each other’, and one voice saying ‘he’s in love with you’. You’re not sure either of those are correct, but you can’t help but indulge.

“Okay, if you have this insight, please tell me what to do.” You gaze over the thirty pairs of eyes looking back at you. “Because I’ve been kind of seeing this other professor―no he doesn’t work here, and he’s American―but we haven’t seen much of each other and when we do we don’t talk and it doesn’t feel like a relationship.”

“Do you like him?” asks one of the girls on the front row, Miss Wright.

You shrug. “How do I know?”

“You get tingly, like you have butterflies in your stomach.” “And whenever you touch you get all warm.” “And it feels like your heart is squeezing, pounding, as if you have no control over it. Though that can be for panic attacks and the like as well.”

Something dings inside your head. That lightbulb that comes over characters heads in cartoons comes over yours. It’s like the puzzle pieces fall into place.

Oh.

Oh no.

Oh, fuck!

And based on the question marks and frowns on your students faces, they saw that revelation, too.

Mr. Holland is the one to ask, “so you like the other professor?”

You try for a smile. “What about we rather go to the actual contents of this class? There are, after all, things we should do.”

No one tries to pry the answer from you, and you try to forget it yourself to. But the fact is right there, even though you’ve been trying to drown the fact since you’d kissed him in that bar.

You’ve been trying to drown the fact that you are in love with Tom Hiddleston, and that there’s no turning back from it now. And despite your mouth going in a different direction and talking about the contents of the class, all your mind can do is ask whether or not the student who said ‘he’s in love with you’ is right or not.

---

It’s been forever since you last really went to a party. Usually, the Christmas parties aren’t that much fun. There’s some alcohol in the picture, but no one drinks too much and mostly it’s conversations flowing here and there.

However, Alisha had said they made a playlist and hooked it up to the speakers in the gym. You arrive later than most who decide to go, having to work up the courage (and the percent of alcohol circling in your blood).

Music blasts from the speakers. Christmas music it’s possible to dance to. Being awkward has its perks, as you stand by the side and wait it out before actually going onto the dance floor.

Standing by the bleachers you notice a couple of familiar faces on the floor. Sophie and Benedict dance together rather cutely, and you smile at the sight of the two of them. To their right you see Tom. Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight.

Tom moves with the rhythm. His whole body into it. He shuffles his feet, he moves his hips and it has your gut drop every inch. Especially knowing he does it with no alcohol in his blood―he’s driving. To be honest, you’re not exactly sure what move he makes, but the way his hips move with the music has you bite your lower lip and take a deep breath. It tickles in your stomach and you lick your lips, eyes trained on his form.

You try to shake off some of the feeling. After admitting to yourself that you do like him, watching him do stuff has become harder than before. Those few churns have grown into buttloads, and what used to be a dream here and there where you argued and kissed, has become a daily thing. At least, you wish you aren’t obvious, but, judging by Benedict’s continuous knowing glances, you are.

And then your eyes lock. Tom smiles your way, continuing to dance, but he moves closer whilst doing so. He doesn’t fully stop, but he moves differently now that he’s close. “Join,” he says, his voice breathless and with a smile so blinding you struggle breathing.

You shake your head. “No, I can’t… I… I don’t―”

“Nonsense,” he cuts you off and takes your hand. “You’re probably great.” He drags you out to the dance floor, where you catch Benedict looking at you and subtly giving you a thumbs up. You roll your eyes, but smile his way nonetheless before returning your attention to Tom, who’s dragging you into the middle of the floor.

The song changes as you end there, and because you are so lucky, it plays On Christmas Morning by Michael McDonald. Tom only smiles at the change of pace, and instead of letting go of your hand, drags you closer and wraps his other around your waist.

Everything burns at the closeness, and you look down as your feet start moving. Both to actually see where your feet go (couple’s dances are hard), but also to hide the blush on your cheeks from Tom.

You let him lead you, swaying back and forth with grace. He lets you out to spin you―which is a huge surprise―and when you get back in his arms, he lets out a laugh and you meet his gaze. His eyes shine and you smile, letting the song carry your feet on the floor. You let the feeling of him so close envelop you. The way his hand in yours burns with intensity because skin on skin contact is almost too much to bear, almost. The way he smiles down at you, eyes locked on yours. The way his hand steadies you at your waist and how the one you have on his shoulder is so close to his hairline, his face. It would only take one move and you would cup it.

But the songs ends before your full fantasies play out and changes into another fast paced one. He lets go and changes everything about his stance to fit the new rhythm. Watching him do it, so casually you know it’s the song that chooses the dance for him and not who he dances with, has your heart drop. One of the strings attaching it to its place breaks, others are close.

You can’t let it show, and follow his moves. You both dance to the song, flowing with the rhythm, but with every move he does that has your gut churn with ripples at how amazing he is, your heart loses a piece of itself and that same churn feels like a knife ripping your gut open. Nevertheless, you smile and laugh. You enjoy the time spent with him, how he keeps glancing at you. It is hard not to notice the glance he sends others, too, but you try your best to ignore it.

As much as you try to ignore the gunshot to your gut spilling your intestines out and ripping you apart from the inside, you can’t. Everything about him just screams at you, and it hurts more than you ever thought possible.

---

Your dress itched. It was the third time you were going to the restroom to fix it, to try and make the problem go away, but probably, yet again, to no avail. The route you take lead you past your office, and seeing as you were there, you decided to try and fix it in there instead.

As carefully as you could, you closed the door behind you after opening it and sneaking inside. The lightswitch turned, filled the room with light, and before you did anything, you closed the blinds.

And finally, you got to drag down the zipper of your dress. You let out a sigh of relief as the slight itch passed and sank down to rest on your desk.

It was in that bliss you heard it, in that moment of silence, that a knock came from the wall next to you. It was followed by voices, loud, quiet, a little hushed voices, but you heard one better than the others.

Recognizable in every way, you listened as Tom spoke. “I have a surprise, but you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

The reply was only a murmur. Whether of agreement or not, you couldn’t be sure.

“It’s… I don’t know how to explain this, but I like someone.”

Fuck. You pressed your lips together, and tried not to think too hard about the ache in your heart.

“I have a plan… ish. And for that, I need your help.”

You shook your head. Better leave before you heard more. It wasn’t like what you’d heard wasn’t enough to tear apart the last hint of feelings you’d had. As long as he was happy, right?

---

“I’m going to go get something to drink,” you tell Tom, and he nods and turns to dance next to Sophie and Benedict. Weaving through the crowd, you finally find the drinks. One alcoholic beverage coming right up, because you aren’t sure you’ll survive the night without it.

You take a big sip, emptying half the can, and turn around. Leaning against the wall next to the table, you watch your colleagues have fun, and you spot Benedict making his way towards you.

So far, he is the only one you’ve ever told your feelings to. Even back then you’d told him, because he seemed trustworthy. And he was, is. Y/BFF/N had only ever gotten to know how annoying you thought Tom was.

Benedict leans against the wall next to you. “So,” he asks, “when are you making the move?”

“Never.”

“Oh, come on. We both know you want to.” He glances at the crowd, finds the middle where Tom dances with Sophie, big smiles on both their faces. “How much alcohol does it take?”

You scoff. “You really think that’s all it’ll take? Enough alcohol and I’ll make a move?”

He shrugs.

“Nope. He’s gotta have some, too. And we both know he’s driving.” You shrug up at Benedict, but it’s hard to hide a smile that comes with knowing you’re right.

He nods. “Point taken.” And then he turns and grabs more drinks. He hands you a new one, and walks onto the dance floor with the three left in his hand.

You watch as he gives on to Sophie and Tom. The latter glances your way, and you move your gaze before your eyes lock. God, there’s just something about him. Something that makes you want to hide away the hatred you’ve carried with you for him.

---

The night was coming to and end. It was past midnight, your eyes were drooping, and you knew that taking the bus home would be a nightmare. So, you asked Benedict if he could give you a ride home.

Only Benedict was getting a ride by Tom. You didn’t believe the guy was capable of driving, based on what you’d seen from the night, but maybe you were wrong.

But that might have been your only option. So you made your way to the man in charge. Only, to do so, you had to walk outside into the cold night, and you didn’t have your jacket.

There was no jackets close by, but you didn’t think you’d be out long anyways, so what harm could there be.

Chills creeped around you as you pushed the door open. Tom stood only a few meters away, leaning against the wall and typing on his phone. You pushed the door open further, making it possible to go all the way out, but in doing so, something wet trickled down your arm.

As you glanced up, you noticed that the push of the door triggered a bucket prank. As the bucket covered your face, you knew it wasn’t water in the bucket. You took it off, eyes covered in goo, and glared Tom’s way.

The man looked over at you, eyes wide and mouth agape.

“You did this?” you asked, voice already layered with accusation.

Tom pressed his lips together. “It wasn’t meant for you,” he said. However, the press of his lips became recognizable as a stifle for laughter and not nervousness as he tried to suppress the smile forming on his face.

“Why are you laughing, then?” you asked.

He nodded. “It looks rather… funny.”

“Fucking great. You know, I liked this dress,” you told him. “Whatever.” And without even asking if he could drive you home, you stalked back inside.

Benedict sent you a look as you walked past him, but you just let out a giant sigh, enough to shut him up.

You managed to dry most of the goo off, but some had come in your dress, and you knew that you’d have to shower as soon as you got home. You also knew, based on the way the goo stuck to your dress, it wouldn’t be saved.

With as much as you could off, you walked back out to the hallway. By the other wall, stood Tom and Benedict, and despite the anger still in your veins for Tom ruining your dress, you didn’t have a choice but to ask.

“Can you give me a ride home?” you asked him.

“Really?” He looked surprised, glancing once at Benedict, who shrugged.

You nodded. “I’m too drunk to drive, I’m slightly annoyed, and I’m way too tired. Can you? Yes or no?”

“Actually,” he said, “the car is already full. With Sophie and Benedict and Eddie and his wife, there isn’t any more room. Are there no one else you can ask?”

You sighed. “I’ll figure something out.” Great. Just fucking great. You walked away from the two, but not far. Most on their way home would walk by the hallway, and you might be able to catch someone and ask for a ride. Or you’d just have to spend money on a cab, money you didn’t actually have.

From where you stood, you could still slightly hear Tom and Benedict’s voices. They spoke in hushed tones, glancing around them as if on guard. Though it didn’t seem like they cared whether or not you heard.

“It’s not like… I don’t know, Benedict. It’s not exactly that easy.” Tom sighed. “I like her, but I can’t… I don’t think there’s anything to go for.”

“I think there is,” replied Benedict. “I believe the cold shoulder is only a precaution. After all, you have a little rumour here.”

“But how was that prank going to help me?”

You perked up at the mention of the prank, but you tried not to make it noticable. Glancing over at the two friends, you could see that it didn’t matter anyways. Their attention wasn’t on you.

“Get her attention,” said Benedict.

You rolled your eyes. “Dumbass,” you muttered.

But you didn’t care so much how stupid the prank was. Rather you cared that the why created an ache in your heart, because Tom wanted another woman’s attention, and you cared about the fact that he had ruined your favorite dress (even though it itched) and now you had to use money you didn’t have on a new one before Christmas eve.

The day had just gone in the opposite direction of what you’d wanted.

---

You’re on your way out of the gym when a hand on your wrist stops you. Looking behind you, the man is Tom. He smiles slightly, but quickly releases your hand.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Oh, yeah, just a little tired, I guess.” You mirror his smile. “I… It’s been a long week.” And it’s the truth, because it was Tuesday when you admitted to yourself that you like Tom, and now it’s Saturday, and the feelings have been growing more and more intense every day.

“That’s good.” He nods. “Do you want a ride home earlier? I’m not sure how much more in the mood I am to stay. I know Eddie is driving, I can ask Benedict and Sophie if they could hitch a ride with him?”

You swallow the lump in your throat. You’d already asked Tom if he was driving, and if you could join his carpool, to which he’d said yes. And he’d told you that Sophie and Benedict were joining, and that’s how the four of you had gotten to the party. However, there was something inside you that really wanted to say yes. Alone time with Tom, being able to get home earlier (it was already ten PM and it’d probably be another half hour until you were actually home), and at home earlier there would be more time to eat ice cream, and drink wine.

But you can’t ask him to do that. “I… No, you don’t have to. I can take a cab, it’s no problem.”

It really wasn’t. After you’d had three raises in pay, you could afford a cab if you needed one. Of course, you’d like to be driven home by Tom, but you’d never ask him to, nor expect him to.

“It’s okay. I’ll ask them.” And he disappears.

You stand there looking after him, only to first notice him as he walks back again to you. Your heart hammers in your chest, seeing him in his tight fitting clothes and oh, why does he have to be so good looking?

“They said it’s alright. Shall we go?” he asks.

“I just gotta do one thing first. Give me five minutes, ten minutes max.” And this time you disappear, or you hope he doesn’t see you. Because you head for the open bar, grab two bottles of beer and chug both. Not at the same time, but it does feel like it.

And with that done, and more energy in you instead of the nervousness flowing through your system, you walk back to Tom, ready to let him drive you home.

Oh, God, what have you done?

When you get back to Tom, you shoot him a brighter smile than you’ve had all evening. “I’m ready now.” Even though the alcohol uses some time to really get into your blood, you can already feel the buzz growing. Maybe you’d had a little too much? Nah, you are still of sound mind.

You think.

---

The car ride is silent. Or as silent as can be with the radio playing Christmas music softly in the background.

Eventually, and now the alcohol has really set in, Tom pulls up by your apartment complex. He parks the car and actually helps you out, even though you are pretty sure you can walk.

He insists on walking you up, not sure if you can walk up all the stairs. Protesting doesn’t help, and he hooks your arms together.

Fuck him and the gentleman he is. Well, your mind saying fuck him and goes to a different place than being mad, and you curse yourself for it.

But you’re not sober, and it wouldn’t take a lot to actually press your lips to his. It would actually not take a lot at all. A little push, from something, someone. Holy fuck, you have a mistletoe in your doorway.

You’d hung it there two weeks ago in hopes Chris would visit and you could use it straight away. But he never had come, and now you were tipsy bordering drunk with the man you had fantasized about for about a week on your arm.

Isn’t life fun?

And then you’re stopping outside your apartment. You fiddle with the keys, enough so that Tom takes them and opens up for you himself. You lean against him, and stop in the doorway. There really is nothing better than a push to make you do it, and Tom is wearing a tie.

So, you find it rather easy when you’re both standing underneath the mistletoe, and you look up to signal it. You can see the realization in his eyes as his blue eyes come back to meet yours. And God, it’s so easy to pull him close and press your lips to his.

It’s never been easier to wrap your arms around his neck and press into him, and relish in him pressing back. And it’s so easy to jump into his arms, wrap your legs around his torso and relish in the feel of his hand cupping your ass.

One moves away to close the door, and you hear the familiar click as it locks. Your heart hammers in your chest, and everything is forgotten as you tell him where your bedroom is.

To say the least, it’s a way better Christmas Party than the one that had been four years ago.

permanent tags: @devilbat @adefectivedetective @gamillian @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @heartislubbingdubbing @wiczer @chillcan

tom tags: @inlovewith3 @bookgirlunicorn @mindlesschicca @justawriterinprogress @wolfsmom1 @loser-alert @satanskatze @timetravelingsociopathicwalker

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#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #twh #thomas william hiddleston #reader insert #real person fiction #enemies to lovers #college professors au #professors au #professor hiddleston #slowburn

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handonshipper · 4 years ago

Text

A Twist Through Time: Chapter One

Hope was usually a great fighter. An excellent fighter even. However, when it is her friend that is attacking her, she does not fight back as strongly. She doesnt use her strength. Which was why she lost the magic battle against Josie in which the dark witch used a spell the tribrid didnt recognize. Hope collapsed , feeling her energy leave her. When her eyes opened, she was in a bed. In a one room apartment thing. She blinked in surprise and confusion and slowly pushed herself up into a seated position.

Klaus Mikaelson walked closer to the door of Stefan Salvatore’s apartment with Stefan himself by his side after a long night at the bar. He sighed contently. “Can’t you hear that?” He smirked looking over at his old friend. “It is the sound of Rebekah not annoying us to death.” He said clearly happy his sister had stayed behind last night, doing more shopping no doubt. Truthfully he didn’t care, so long as she stayed away for most part. He was beginning to wonder why he chose to undagger her in the first place. “I never did understand what you saw in her.” He chuckled softly. “Then again, I suppose I wouldn’t. Seeing as though she is my sister.”

PMStefan chuckled a little at that. "No, I suppose you wouldnt." He said, thinking back to the memories he now had of a time he had thought he had mostly blacked out. He stopped as he reached the door and heard someone on the other side. "Do you hear that?" He questioned. He knew it wouldnt be Elena since that was earlier and he had scared her away. Finally convinced her that he didnt want her. Enough at least to keep her away.

Klaus frowned as he too suddenly heard the sound of someone inside the small apartment. He signaled for Stefan to be quiet for a moment and only after a few seconds, he forced the door open with no warning whatsoever. His focused and only slightly concerned expression soon changed into a smug one as he caught sight of a girl on Stefan’s bed. “Stefan.” He playfully scolded. “Poor girl. She must have been waiting here all night for you.” He chuckled. “Apologies. My friend here apparently does not remember when he schedules time with women. He’s charming like that.” He snorted looking the girl over a little. She did look a little bit younger than the girls his friend normally pursued. But he supposed he couldn’t really judge.

Hope inhaled sharply and froze at the sight of her father. She barely even heard the words that came out of his mouth. Her mind was turning on what could possibly have happened. How was he standing here right now in front of her? How did he not recognize her. Then she recognized Stefan. Two people who were dead.

"I've never seen her before in my life" Stefan said, defensive and concerned about the girl. He wanted to find out how he could help her. But he was ripper Stefan right now. Not good Stefan. "What's your name?"

"Hope" Hope said after a moment. "My name is Hope"

Klaus glanced over at Stefan curiously when he said he hadn’t ever seen the girl before. “Well she is in your apartment. And the door was not forced open...at least not prior to my doing.” He pointed out and then focused on the young girl who was apparently named Hope. Quite an unusual name. Not to mention she looked as though she had seen a ghost. “What are you doing here then? What do you want?” He asked taking a small step towards her. Although he didn’t appear menacing quite yet, it was clear the playfulness was gone from his eyes and was instead replaced with caution and hostility.

"I... I dont know what I'm doing here" Hope said finally. "I woke up on the bed, but I certainly did not fall asleep on it"

Klaus raised an eyebrow at her words, clearly not believing her in the slightest. “Right. You were randomly transported to an apartment.” He stated sarcastically. “Let me ask you again. What are you doing here, and what are you after? They are truly simple questions.” He smirked stepping closer to her.

"I dont know what I'm doing here. All I know is I was blasted with a spell I have never heard of and now I'm here" Hope said firmly, looking at him. She could let her pain and confusion hit her later. "And I'm not up to anything. You'd think I have some diabolical reason for being in his apartment?" She raised an eyebrow. "There isnt even much in here. What could I possibly be up to?"

Klaus frowned and crossed his arms as he listened to the girl. He definitely didn’t like her attitude. She sounded entitled and worst of all, she didn’t seem scared of him. Something that didn’t sit well with him in the slightest. “Spell. Alright, let’s say I am considering that insane explanation. Who cast the spell?” He questioned looking at her. “And more importantly, why? Surely you must have done something. Witches do not normally spell others for no reason, even as obnoxious as they are.”

"I was trying to get my friend back. Dark magic and her insecurities were controlling her" Hope replied. "As for who casted the spell, that isnt important" she said.

“Hm. Let’s see. You claim to have been blasted here with a spell. You look properly upset about it. Yet when I ask you to tell me the name of the witch who casted such spell, you claim it isn’t important.” Klaus said slowly. “Suspicious don’t you think?” He smirked and then glanced over at Stefan.

"Less about its importance and more about I dont want you to know about her." Hope said with a sigh

"You want to protect your friend." Stefan observed, watching her. "Even if she hit you with the spell that brought you here"

Hope nodded, her blue eyes lowering a little as she thought about her friend. About everyone really. It was true even if it wasnt exactly true. It seemed she was in the past somehow. But how far back?

Klaus frowned, now having realized that as well. Not that he truly cared. Unless she was there to plan anything against him, which he could tell she wasn’t. There was something going on, but it wasn’t anything he should be worried about. “Right. Well if you are through being transported to places, the door is right through there.” He said dismissively as he gestured towards Stefan’s apartment door.

Hope's heart ached at that. It felt as though she was being disowned, but that was ridiculous. He didnt even know who she was. Which hurt even worse. "Where am I anyways?" She wanted to ask the year.

But she didnt want him to look at her with even more confusion.

“Chicago.” Klaus answered observing her carefully. He could tell there were things on her mind, but he didn’t care enough to ask. “What was the last place you were in before?” Maybe he could get a car for her and she could be on her way.

Hope sighed and frowned a little at that. "I was in Virginia. But going there wouldnt change anything. I'm all alone now" She checked her pockets. "And cashless" she said, sighing. "Whatever. I'll figure something out"

Klaus rolled his eyes, the girl’s problems not affecting him in the slightest. He did have bigger things to worry about after all. Which is why he wanted to get rid of her as quickly as possible. “Here.” He said as he pulled out a couple hundred dollar bills from his wallet and held them out for her. “Now you have zero excuses in leaving my friend’s apartment.” He said with a sarcastic smile present on his lips.

Hope hesitated and took them. "Thank you" she said softly. She lowered her gaze a little and headed out of the apartment.

Once she was far enough away, her wall crumbled. She leaned on the wall in an alley, tears starting to spill. Her heart pounded a little as she struggled to breath. She closed her eyes and breathed in and out slowly, struggling to collect herself. She could handle this. She was a Mikaelson witch. She was a tribrid. And despite all she had endured, she could continue fighting. She would find a way back to Landon. No matter how much she wanted to see her dad again. To see her mom. To change the future. If she changed the future even the slightest, things could change, and she might not even be born. But how could she do this alone? She had no spellbooks. No friends. No family. Was it not bad enough that she had to endure her friends and the boy she loved forgetting her whole existence? Now she had to deal with her father alive, in front of her, and looking at her like she was a stranger?

Stefan watched her leave curiously. "Did it seem like she recognized us?" He asked Klaus as he walked further inside and opened the secret door bookshelf. He added the name of a victim to the very long list from the 20s and then grabbed a bottle of Klaus' favorite drink before walking back over to him.

Klaus frowned at Stefan’s words, his gaze remaining on the empty space the girl had been standing in moments ago. “Slightly. I noticed it too. Though if she wanted revenge for something you or I did in our time here, she has a very poor way of executing it.” He chuckled softly. “Either way I’m not concerned. She looked more lost rather than angry. And regardless, I doubt a fifteen year old girl is any match for the legendary original hybrid and the ripper of Monterey.” He smirked."Oh I'm not concerned either. It was merely an observation. Look what I found" Stefan said, passing him the bottle, label side up.

Klaus grinned at the sight of the bottle of his favorite drink. He took it inhis hands and looked it over. “My. I haven’t seen one of these in a long time. Unfortunately it will have to wait. Possibility until we have something worth drinking to.” He sighed and carefully set it down, his mind now going to all his failed hybrids. “Come. We should see if the witch has made any progress.”

Stefan nodded slightly, knowing it was better not to argue. He needed Klaus to see he was on his side. Not to figure out that he wasnt. He glanced back around at the old apartment and memories before heading out.

Hope took a deep breath, thinking. She went and bought a cheap sketchbook, knowing drawing would help keep her control a little. And she bought cheap pencils. She would prefer better supplies, but she needed to save as much money as she could. Especially since she wasnt sure where she was going to go or how to get home.

Klaus headed out of the apartment as well. He hoped there was some type of solution already. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. He finally broke his curse, only to not be able to make more of his kind. “I swear I am going to kill this witch if she still does not have anything.” He muttered.

#legacies #cw legacies #legacies cw #hope mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #stefan salvatore #tvd #vampire diaries #time travel #a twist through time #a twist through time chapter one #chapter one #the Mikaelsons #damon salvatore #elena gilbert #bonnie bennett #landon kirby #handon

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mavmerry · 5 years ago

Text

Evelyn's Pov:

I rubbed my eyes as my bones ached from sleeping in one position for too long yet that was nothing compared to the throbbing in my head which made me groan in pain.

Last night, Damon and I drank some alcohol but did we drink the entire cupboard?

Lazily I got out of bed and made my way towards the mirror. I looked like a mess, guess that's what you get when you have Damon as your drinking buddy.

I was about to step into the shower but something caught my eye. I moved closer to look at my neck and gasped when I saw the multiple love bites scattered across my neck and collar bone.

I quickly moved my hair to get a better look and stood astounded at how the red/purple hickeys were littered across my neck.

What happend last night? I squeezed my eyes and tried to remember when it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks.

We drank, we came home. I confessed I liked him, he said it back, he kissed me, I kissed him back, it got rough and then, then he left me...

I slumped my shoulders. No doubt the kiss was amazing, I won't lie to myslef but why did he leave me.

'You idiot he's with Kathrine.' My subconscious reminded me.

Oh my god, of course he ran away. I can't believe we kissed. What would happen now? Will he ignore me, will he tell me to leave.

My heart beated loudly in my chest as I chastised myslef to get a grip. I did my makeup and changed into a leather jacket and black jeans and combat boots.

I walked outside of my room and kept an eye out for Damon. I was walking forward and looking around for any signs of him when I bumped into a hard body.

I shrieked and turned around to see Stefan annoyed. "Is it your habit to bump into people all the time?" He asked.

"Oh my god Stefan, Don't sacre me like that." I exclaimed as he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What made you so jumpy?" He asked me as he walked over to the couch.

"I-Nothing, have you seen Damon?" I asked him hesitantly as he shook his head.

"Nope, now that I think about it I haven't seen him since yesterday." He said with furrowed eyebrows.

"What is he upto now?" Stefan asked standing up worriedly. "He doesn't always have to be scheming you know." I said a bit irritated.

"Evelyn please tell me you're still on our side, Damon is dan-" I cut him off.

"Dangerous, yeah yeah I know. You already said that." I told him rolling my eyes. Just then Elena and Caroline enter the Salvatore boarding house as I looked at them in shock.

"Stefan invited us." Elena said hugging me as I looked at Stefan for an explanation.

"I don't know, maybe you guys could go to school together." Stefan said and once again someone entered the house and this time it was the owner of the love bites on my neck.

Immediately both Caroline and Lena glared at him as he sarcastically smiled. When he looked at me his face turned emotionless.

"Yo little bro. Mind telling me why your girlfriend and her white maid are in my house?" He asked pouring himself a bourbon.

I tried to let his ignorance towards me not affect me. "We are here to take Evelyn to school and if you have a problem with that you can suck it." Caroline confidently said as Damon rolled his eyes. She found out he was compelling her and that he was a Vampire. She hates him now.

"Wait what's that?" Elena asked In confusion stepping forward. "What's what?"

"That." She said moving the collar of my top and before I could stop her the hickeys were already in display.

I immediately blushed and my cheeks were probably the same color of a rose.

"Oh my god Evelyn, I didn't know you were with a guy last night." Elena said nudging me.

I looked over at Damon who was drakly staring at the love bites on my neck.

"Um-" Before I could say anything Stefan interrupted me. "I know it's all girl gossip but you finnaly got it on with Matt." Stefan said wiggling his eyebrows as I saw Damon stiffen from the corner of my eyes.

"Yes! Of course I'm so stupid. I see the way you two look at each other. I'm so happy for you guys." Elena said squealing.

"Did you guys just make out or have sex, wait don't tell me. When we go to school I'll know when you guys see each other." Caroline said Smirking. I nervously rubbed the nape of my neck.

"Guys no i didn't get it with Matt last night. He's just a really good friend." I tried explaning but they weren't having any of it.

"It's okay we get it. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy. Sex." Caroline said Smirking.

"Oo, you can come on a double date with us tonight-" Elena continued her rambling.

"I told you from the first day, he liked you. He looks at you like you're the hottest chick in school." Stefan said laughing. Oh no, they all completely had the wrong idea.

Before I could contradict them Damon scoffed.

"Hottest chick in school, come on get a filter Stefan. I've fucked other girls double the looks as her." He said pointing at me as I stood astounded. I didn't know what to expect after last night but it was not this and it pricked my heart as it lurched in pain.

"I'm sorry if something crawled up your ass this early. And besides what is your problem dude?" Caroline snapped as he glared at her.

"My problem is that you're talking about her and this Matt guy and I'm just thinking how low his standards are." He said smirking.

"Shut up, I don't care what you think and besides why do you care if I had sex with Matt?" I asked galring at me as he stepped closer.

"I just don't want a slut in my house." He sneered coming closer as Elena stepped in between us.

"What is with you two, just yesterday you were best friends and now you're acting like childish enemies." Elena said as Damon shrugged his shoulders.

"She's the one acting weird after last night." He said nonchalantly as all heads snapped to him as I shot lasers with my eyes at him.

"What last night?" Caroline asked.

"The hickeys you were talking about earlier, I'm saying I'm the one responsible." He said smirking and leaning back against the table as three heads turned to glare at me.

"We didnt have sex I promise." I quickly said in a high pitched voice. "What the hell!?" Stefan demanded. Oh fuck how do I get out of this situation.

"Relax bro, it was nothing. I just kissed her in the spur of the moment." Damon Said shrugging as I marched upto him.

"You're an asshole." I stated and stormed outside. I was soon followed by two other girls.

"I'm not going to ask why you guys kissed. I'm just thankful it's over. But I'm here for you." Caroline said as I smiled at her.

"Honestly I'm so stupid, forget it and you know what. Maybe you should schedule that double date." I said cheerfully as she squealed.

"Yes! That would be so amazing." And we all chatted to the way to school. What Damon said Truly made my heart lurch in pain but I don't know what I expected. He did admit he liked me last night so why act that way.

When we reached school I spotted Matt talking to a bunch of guys as Caroline nudged me.

"Go shoot your shot. We'll be rooting for you." She said and ushered me towards him as I took a deep breath. I've clearly never done this before.

"Hey Matt can I talk to you?" I asked him and his face immediately lit up when he saw me.

"Evelyn thank goodness, just the person I was looking for." He said as we started walking together.

"So I wanted to ask you out." He nervously said blushing as my eyes widened.

"Funny enough I came to ask you the same thing. Caroline wants usto to go on a double date with her and Tyler tonight." I said as he laughed.

"I guess that settled it then. I'll pick you up at say what eight?" He asked as I nodded and waved bye.

Immediately Caroline approached me. "By the look on your face it's a yes!" She shouted as I laughed.

*skip to school ending*

Caroline had practically ordered that I come to her house at 5 so we could get ready toghther. I was about to hop in her car when I spotted Damon walking upto us.

He wore black shades and his typical black leather jacket. He walked upto us as I ignored him and was about to get in the car when he stopped me by my arm.

"You're coming with me." He deeply said as I rolled my eyes.

"Suck a dick." I sweetly said when he roughly grabbed me and started to drag me to his car. He pinned me against the hood as I Struggled.

"What is wrong with you!?" I shouted as he looked at me in anger.

"I won't repeat myslef. Get in the car or watch as I suck every gallon of blood from your precious date's neck." He said glancing towards Matt who was playing football in the feild.

I glared at him and reluctantly sat in the car.

What was he upto now?

#tvd imagine #tvd fandom #the vampire diares icons #the vampire diaires rp #damon salvatore

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chillihansol · 7 years ago

Text

barista!junhui (click for HD)

no. 1 reason why jun finds himself working as a barista is bc he dragged himself along

he’s a college boy too, major in performing arts wow whats new

and when he heard that joshua will be applying as a barista on the café near his department

he’s like “can i join, that sounds fun”

ofc, joshua being a kind friend, he’s very pleasant to have jun with him

ya know this café they applied to really needed a new set of baristas

and by the time the manager saw jun and joshua walk inside

“you’re both hired”

i mean, these too are very attractive (and they can attract more customers) and they look very responsible and dependable

tho they were accepted, they also had to work on different shifts and this made the two of them quite sad :(

but anyways, jun works in the afternoon after his class, which is also after everyone else’s class so his job was quite on the hassle side

junhui adapted on the job really well and only had to go training for two days

surprisingly, as junhui continued on his job on the café, he really DID attract more people to come

plus, most of the customers are college girls ofc

one time, a group of girls from another department came in while stiffling their grins and having pink blushes on their cheeks

junhui seemed to notice their reactions and found it really cute

and they seemed to notice that junhui caught them too

so they slightly turned away before ordering

luckily for jun, the café wasnt really packed at that moment so he took the opportunity to eavesdrop while pretending to clean the counter

“what do we order”

“idk we dont drink coffee”

“what”

“you’re supposed to at least like coffee!”

“girl they have teas too in case you’re more into those”

“and they have desserts too”

“but we have to order coffee so he asks for our name!”

this brought huge grin on junhui’s lips

and he wasn’t oblivious about the fact he was getting quite popular lately

so the the girls didnt stop to gush about him for about five minutes

until junhui heard the bell rang, indicating that another customer came in

and that was you

you came in, searching the whole room as you were actually looking for someone

but when your eyes landed on junhui, you made your way to him with such eagerness

junhui, on the other hand, almost dropped the towel he was holding as he watched you run to him

when you stopped directly in front of him, with the counter separating the two of you

he couldnt get himself to speak

and you noticed that

damn, junhui was speechless

so you initiated a sentence

“excuse me, is joshua here at the moment?”

and he felt a very little pang on his chest with that

he thought you were going to order and he would get his chance to know your name

he mentally shook himself before replying

“oh, h-he’s not here. his shift starts a-after mine.”

and he wanted to slap himself for stuttering in front of you

“oh” you said, a little disappointed “would you mind if i leave this here? it’s our report and he needs to revise it for our presentation tomorrow” you waved a brown envolope as you spoke

jun nodded multiple times before reaching the paper “s-sure, i’ll let him know.”

and that brought a huge beautiful smile on your face and he felt mini butterflies on the pit of his stomach

“alright, thank you–” your eyes squinted on his name tag “thanks junhui?”

“you’re welcome” he shyly replied, shoving the envelope on the drawers

“actually, can i have a cup of iced americano?”

and junhui suddenly didnt know how to punch your order on the machine bc he was so flustered

his hands were shaking as he took your order

and you noticed that, to which you found very cute

this also gave you the chance to look at him and intake his features

and woah

he’s

really

handsome

you felt your heartbeat raced a little faster at the sight of him

you stare at him while he was so focused on his work

the way his eyes squint a little

and his eyebrows slightly meeting each other

and his mouth parted a little

but he turned his attention back to you and he !! caught !! you !! staring !! at !! him !!!

so you quickly looked away and pretended to be busy admiring the interior design of the café

“so cute” junhui whispered to himself

but you heard it

and pretended you didnt

and that brought a huge blush all over your face

“your name please?” he asked with a hint of amusement in his voice

you barely looked at him as you replied “y/n”

so junhui turned around and made your drink,

He was blushing real hard and he’s never blushed like that his whole life

the temperature outside is really high too, so junhui secretly add more ice on your drink

“y/n” he called you and you looked at him, forcing yourself to smile but not too much

Bc he’s going to notice you’re having butterflies

Ofc, when he handed you your drink, your fingertips brushed against his

And that brought mini sparks in his hand

WEN JUNHUI IS MENTALLY CALMING HIMSELF DOWN

You pulled out your wallet to pay but jun immediately interrupted saying,

“Oh, don’t. It’s on the house,”

Even tho it wasnt, lol, really, it’s just a cup of iced americano

You know he’s lying but you just let it slide bc you didn’t want to insist

So you gave him one last smile before leaving the shop

lol, don’t forget about the group of girls earlier

Bc they witnessed your lowkey flirting with him

And they didn’t like it of course

Junhui saw how they were glaring at you and this brought a frown to his face

One of the girls saw his expressions, and they just embarrassingly walked out without ordering

So his shift continued until it was done, he was just waiting for joshua to come

When he did, jun immediately handed the envelope you gave earlier

“It’s from y/n,”

Joshua frowned a little, “y/n? How did you know her?”

“She said her name?” now junhui is a little confused why joshua was a bit skeptical

and this made junhui nervous bc…

….are you two dating?

“Are you….dating?” jun asked very slowly

“What? No! She’s my cousin.”

SIGH

Junhui let out a relieving sigh and nodded his head “she’s really…….pretty.”

Joshua’s eyes widened. “DO YOU LIKE HER IMMEDIATELY? YOU JUST MET HER TODAY”

He shrugged, and was about to ask something about you again until their manager came out and scold them for gossiping lol

And so the next days, junhui kept hoping for you to visit the shop

But you didn’t

He wanted to meet you so badly and it was so obvious that he’s very interested in you

He asked joshua all the time why weren’t you going to the café

And he was relieved that you were just very busy at the moment

Soooo, one day, you came back

But junhui didn’t hear the bell ring, and he didn’t know someone came inside

It was sunday which means there are no classes, but jun still has work that day

you came inside with bunch of books on your hand and a heavy backpack hanging on your shoulder

of course, you came there to study, hopefully before you get distracted by junhui’s ethereal face

and when you were about to order, you didn’t notice the sign on the floor

CAUTION: SLIPPERY FLOOR

and you

slipped

luckily, there were only two people inside

plus junhui

who heard your fall

your books were scattered everywhere

and he saw you on the floor, struggling

so he immediately stopped fixing the plastic cups and ran to you

his hands were on your arms, helping you to get up

while you were trying to hide your face behind your hair because,

let’s be real, it was embarrassing

when you got up, junhui gathered your books and gave them to you with a concerned look

“are you okay? where does it hurt?”

you almost blushed again because, damn, he’s really sweet

“no, i’m okay. sorry.” you chuckled, while screaming inside

junhui led you to an empty table, with his hand on the small of your back

why is he so sweet already ahsldjlas

“do you want some iced americano?” he shyly asked, looking down at you

“oh s-sure” you stuttered, looking down at your books

so junhui made you order and gave it to you immediately

lol he has never worked this fast before

he wanted to have a conversation with you but he noticed the abundance of textbooks you brought so he gave you the time you needed

and there he was,

just standing behind the counter

watching you as you focused on the notes scribbled on your papers

he literally just stops gazing at you when a customer comes in

but when he has the time, he just looks at you

you weren’t oblivious about it tho

in fact, it was distracting you

because you can really feel his gaze piercing on you, and you can’t focus on your studies because you just want to look at him too

tho as much as you want to, you also have a huge exam next day, and you don’t wanna fail that so you have no choice but to just leave

junhui was sad while seeing you walk out

and you saw of course

so you promised to yourself to come again tomorrow

and so you did,

not just the day after that

but you visit everyday

you and him were a bit awkward at first

he knew your order already

and let’s not forget you cousin aka joshua aka junhui’s friend slash co-worker aka his wingman

joshua trusts junhui, so he finds a way for the two of you to get closer

as your visits continue, you found yourself staying at the café until the end of junhui’s shift

what you were doing there, you ask?

talk with junhui,

or should i say,,,,, flirt with junhui

you get know each other very well

like really really well

his class schedule

his family

his friends

his habits

everything

and the more you gain more closeness with him, the more you actually like him as a man

one day, junhui was expecting you to arrive on the café

but you didn’t

calm down, junhui. she’s probably busy

he kept glancing outside, and on the clock

and when his shift was almost done

he gave up and sighed

but surprise,

you came in, with a huge smile on your face

and junhui was already walking out of the counter that time,

you intake his appearance

and that was actually the first time you saw him without an apron

and he’s more attractive

asjfnsakjf

when your eyes met, there was like a rope appeared between the two of you and pulled you to each other

you walked, then stopped just right in front of him

he smelled like coffee, strong coffee beans which you love

and he smiled down at you affectionately

“hi” he said

“hi” you replied, grabbing his hand, then interlaced your fingers with his

junhui’s expression changed and it was so obvious he was shocked by your actions but he likes it

he took a glanced on your connected hands and grinned wider.

“i waited for you today,”

“i know,” you replied teasingly

junhui raised an eyebrow

“will you go out with me today?”

his eyes widen at your question, and the butterflies in his stomach came up again

“i mean, if you’re not busy–”

“im not!” he interrupted too quickly to which you laughed on

and that was you first date, you were the one to ask him out

which was followed by another date

and another

and one more

and it took him the 10th date to ask you to be his

and he didn’t really give you a choice at all, honestly

“we’ve been in to so many dates, will you be mine already? yes or yes?”

when joshua heard about this, he was like ‘FINALLY!!’

coffee dates became your thing, and joshua was always the one to serve your coffees

you watch his performances

and stay with him on the café if he needs to work overtime

junhui is just thankful to have you

and he would never ask for more after having you

because you’re all he needed

eventually, you started working on the café too

which was not a good idea because junhui keeps sneaking kisses from you

it’s not that you don’t like it

it’s just, he’s distracting you

but you don’t really complain

because you love him

and he loves you too

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 7 years ago

Text

3AM Drive - Thru (JJK x You x The8/Minghao) // FINAL

MASTERLIST

Jungkook kneeled down on one knee, one hand holding hers and another one holding open a small ring box.

“I dont want to ever lose you again. I dont ever want to feel regret for letting you walk out from my life again. Song Y/N, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, showering you with the love that you deserve. Will you marry me?”

With streaming tears, Y/N smiles.

Minghao quickly turns away from what he saw. It seems his one mistake will haunt him forever. It costd him to lose the love of his life.

———————————————————–

[Y/N♡] : 2.37pm I’m sorry. I need time.

That was the last message Minghao received from Y/N. He was devastated. He cant figure out what she meant by that. Did he really just let her slipped from his grasp?

Y/N is his one true love. He’s sure about it. She is his strength and weakness. His inspiration and motivation. His happiness and sadness. She is his everything. She was there when he was struggling as a trainee, the most difficult time in his life, and she was there through out his hard work, sacrifices and success. He shares every important moment of his life with her and he wants to keep doing so with her in the future.

Minghao decides to respect her decision and patiently just wait for the day she will come home. He still sends her daily good morning and good night texts, although he knows better than to wait for a reply.

What hurts the most is that while he sits patiently at home, counting every second for her return with a cracked heart, the entertainment news keeps on reporting and posting photos about her and Jeon Jungkook having so much fun in Spain.

With all the different outfits and locations, its easy to see that they must have been meeting up everyday. The fans are speculating that they will be the new IT couple. The beautiful heir and the handsome golden maknae together? That just sounds like a match made in heaven.

Why do they have so much time to spend together anyway? I thought both of them are there for work! Minghao’s thoughts turned bitter.

Even without any contact and the explosion on news about Y/N and Jungkook, Minghao still have faith in her. He knows she wont leave him hanging just like that. She must really just need some time to clear her head. He believes that she cares about him enough to properly end it with him if she really did chose Jungkook. He refuse to believe that the rumors about her and Jungkook are more that just that, rumors.

Every single day felt like there’s a dark cloud hanging over Minghao’s head. He dont think he can ever be happy again until Y/N returns. It doesnt help that he also misses like crazy too.

As always, while discussing their schedule for the next month, Minghao’s mind drifted off to Y/N, until something finally catches his interest. One of the Song’s empire company is launching a new awards ceremony. It is said to be a prestigious yearly awards if the first year goes successfully. Everyone who has a name in the music industry is invited to the launching event and attending, of course, this is expected from the Song empire, who is known for throwing successful and incredible events. Every other idol groups and musician in the country will be there, including his group.

But unlike his group mates who is excited to be listed as a part of the guest list, the best part for Minghao is that Y/N will be attending. Her trip will be cut short and she will be back in the country a day before the event, which meant Minghao can finally see her, althoughylt it would be during the event and not even a day earlier. Its fine with him. It doesnt matter, as long as she’s right in front of his eyes.

When he gets her this time, Minghao promise himself that he wont ever let her go again. She’s going to be stuck with him forever.

Days seems to crawl too slowly for Minghao’s liking, and after a long suffering wait, the day of the launching arrived. He and the rest of Seventeen are dressed to the nines. After all, this is the event of the year. The place to make connections, to meet influential people, to meet everybody who is a somebody. But to Minghao, its the day to get the love of his life back.

He first saw her when Y/N’s father gave his opening speech. She came down from the spiriling staircase at the back, floating in her dress. Minghao’s heart starts to beat so fast, it almost burst inside his chest.

“Calm down. You are sweating,” Vernon whisper in his ear and swiftly passed him a tissue. By now, the each and every one of his brothers in Seventeen already knows about his love story with Y/N thanks to Mingyu and his big mouth. Well, if you can call it a love story. Minghao was criticized left and right for pushing Y/N away. They call him stupid, dumb, trying to br a hero and all sorts of things, you just name it, for not immediately accepting Y/N and asks her to ‘figure out’ her feelings first.

“Stupid. If you didnt try to be the nice guy, you could be cuddling with her right now. Doing things that we definitely didnt want to see,” this one comes from Jeonghan.

“Yeah, you are lucky she didnt straight away leave your stupid ass and went for Jungkook. I dont know why she’s still waiting for you,” and that’s from S.Coups.

“And you go pull that dumb shit getting drunk and making out with other girls. Its amazing how she still wants to talk to you,” and that is of course, from the ever good looking visual dream tree that he called best friend, Mingyu.

“Yeah, yeah, I know what I did is stupid okay? I know I’m an idiot, a dummy amd everything else that is stupid. That’s why I’m getting her back, no matter what,” was all Minghao can say to defend himself. He really hopes his stupidity wont ruin the greatest relationship he ever had for him.

Through out the main event, Minghao cant keep his eyes off Y/N who’s sitting on the stage. He’s waiting until he is able to go and talk to her. It also irritates him when he sees her smiling to someone in the crowd, and when he peeks to see who’s the lucky person is, of course its Jeon freaking Jungkook, all front and center with his BTS brothers and grinning so wide, Minghao thought his jaw would break, showing his oh so called adorable bunny smile.

What does he have to be smiling about anyway? That’s my girl! Minghao huffed. Although he cherished his friendship with Jungkook, sometimes he just cant stand his cockiness, especially when it involves Y/N.

Once the main event is done and the award show is officially launch, all the guests are free to roam around and mingle. Minghao tried to find Y/N, through the heavy crowd of people laughing, greeting each other. And everytime he finally sees her and is about to make his way to her, someone will stop him and his members. Minghao will plaster on a smile, say his greetings, nod here and there, not even listening, wishing they could just hurry up.

He finally saw a chance when he managed to make eye contact with Y/N. Y/N who seems to also want to talk to him makes her way to him. Minghao cant help but smile. God, I love her so much. Luck is really not on his side. Y/N was just a few feet away when he was pull by someone. The girl group member who he had kissed that night. Sadness and hurt immediately flashes in Y/N’s eyes and she straight away walk in the opposite direction before Minghao can stop her. Minghao tried to ignore the girl and catch Y/N instead, the look in her eyes is too much for his cracking heart to bare, but the grip on his arms got tighter.

“Hey,”

“Hey,” Minghao has no choice but to talk to her now. He turns over to face her, hoping she would say what she need to say so he can get a move on.

“Listen,” she scratch her neck, looking nervous. “I’m sorry about the other night. I didnt know that I would get that drunk and that a reporter would follow us,” she managed to stutter out. Minghao knows she’s scared and absolutely nervous. She is young and new in the industry. To be known as someone who makes out and drunk partied with a senior in the industry even before you officially debuted is not a good idea.

“Its fine,” Minghao replied, short and to the point. He really dont care about her or what happened. He doesnt care what the public thinks of him as long as Y/N believes him. He really just want to get away from her and find Y/N right now.

“The company has sort out the rumor and its all good now. But I just want to say sorry. I just newly debuted and its highly unprofessional of me to act that way. Especially with a sunbae,” she bowed, ashamed and Minghao can see that she’s truly apologetic.

“Its really fine. Its over anyway. I really got to go. We will catch up later okay,” Minghao didnt mean to be rude, and he really meant what he said. The rumor is over and he had no qualms about it. In fact, after everything is said and done, he would still like to maintain a friendship with the girl group. They are nice people and a nice hoobae after all. Minghao didnt wait for her to reply and rush off to find Y/N.

—————-

Y/N took a deep long breath and let it go. She was hoping to talk to Minghao today. She really misses him. Really really misses him. Sometimes when she sits alone in her hotel room after her day exploring the city with Jungkook, her mind will drift off back to Minghao. Everything about him just did something to her heart. His passion for dance, his obsession with style, which he always makes her spend hours with him shopping just to find the right jacket to complete his outfit, his savageness, the way he showed his love and care for her in a not at all cheesy way, everything. Y/N sighs. She had tried to clear her mind by asking for some space and time. But the moment she saw the smile he gave her when they finally made eye contact, it immediately melts her heart and she just really want to grab him and just talk to him about everything so that they can finally try move forward and finally be together.

Spending her time with Jungkook in Spain is great. She had so much fun, it feels just like what it use to be before everything had happened. Jungkook is still the same. Just like the same guy she had felt in love with years ago. Just like her once best friend.She can even admit that sometimes whe he flash her that familiar bunny snile or when he held her hands when they were crossing the road, she felt tiny butterflies in her stomach. Something that she knows she shouldnt have.

But however sweet Jungkook is, no matter how hard he tries to act like the perfect boyfriend, she still cant get Minghao out of her mind, and she knows right then that her heart is set on him.

I’m inlove with Xu Minghao.

But seeing him with the same girl he had kissed at the party talking earlier did something to her heart. Will she really be able to truly forgive him? Will she able to trust him again? How can they be in a relationshio is she dont trust him, right?

But you forgave Jungkook didnt you? What he did is way worse.

But at least Jungkook didnt cheat on you while you were still together.

But is Minghao and I even together?

Y/N’s inner thoughts keep debating against each other. She’s really confused and with Jungkook suddenly back in her life, acting all nice and sweet, calling and texting and meeting with her almost everyday, it just make things even more complicated. But Jungkook did make her happy when her heart is thoroughly broken this time and she did very much enjoy her time with him.

Maybe Jungkook is really the one for me… maybe after everything, the one I’m meant to be with is Jeon Jungkook.

“Hey, what are you doing here alone outside? Its your party you know,” a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts. She looks up and a smile immediately appeared on her lips.

“Hey Jungkook, what are you doing here? Shouldnt you be mingling or something? There’s a lot of opportunities for movie castings and CF in there,” she pointed her fingers toward the party. “You are a part of the most hottest group right now,” she teased.

Jungkook laugh at that and took a seat besides her on the park bench. “Nah. You know partying is not really my thing. Besides, I will leave that to Tae-hyung, Jin hyung and Namjoon hyung. They are good at it and meeting and making new friends is their forte anyway,”

“Two years later, an incredibly well known world star but you are still just the same boy I know Jungkook. Akward and shy around new people,” Y/N laughs. Jungkook joins her laughter.

“I’ve never change Y/N. I make mistakes, yes, but I’m still me,” Jungkook turn to look at Y/N. His gaze turned serious. His heart is beating so fast at the familiarity that he’s seeing. Y/N under the stars, Y/N laughing wirh him, Y/N discussing about life and where they stand with him. Right in this moment, he wishes nothing more than to turn back time to when Y/N is still his. He wishes nothing more than to erase the stupid mistake of breaking her heart and letting her go, just for the sake of chasing his dreams. He should have known that Y/N will be the one who will keep running by his side when he’s chasing it. Y/N turned her gaze away from Jungkook deep stare.

“Its nice isnt it? Looking at the stars? We used to do it all the time, remember? Spilling secrets and talking about our dreams. Who knew we are already living it now,” Y/N looked up to the sky, analyzing the cluster of stars decorating the dark sky. They use to do this when they were younger. Sneaking out after curfews to the rooftop. Sharing their dreams and making promises to chase after it together. Jungkook’s heart ache when he remembers the memories and how he had been the one who ruined it all.

“Yes… we really made it Y/N. I’ve become an idol that I had always wanted to be and you finally found your courage to be who you really are, a smart and incredible heir to the Song empire,” Jungkook smile, thinking about what a long way Y/N had gone through and how he is incredibly proud of her. He just wished he had been there for her through her journey. But he didnt, and Minghao did. “But this is not the dream that matters Y/N. It never did. I was just blinded by the fake shining plastic of this dream that I didnt see the real sparkling diamond,” Jungkook’s voice is so soft that Y/N turned to him. He is staring at her with a serious look in his eyes.

“You are the dream that should have mattered the most Y/N. You are the sparkling diamond that I should have been chasing, something that shines so bright it never fails to light up my gloomy life,” Jungkook held one of her hands. “Growing old with you. Making new memories with you. Having you by my side until I’m old and grey…”

Jungkook kneeled down on one knee, one hand still holding hers and another one holding open a small ring box.

“Jungkook… wh…what are you doing?” Y/N is startled. He’s not doing what she thinks he’s doing right? She knows they have spend a lot of time together lately, and old feelings might be rekindled, but she is just still as shocked.

“I dont want to ever lose you again. I dont ever want to feel the regret of letting you walk out from my life ever again. Song Y/N, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, erasing all the stupid mistakes that i have done to you, showering you with the love that you really deserve. Will you marry me?”

Y/N was speechless. Shocked, touched, suprised. She’s feeling everything at once right now.

“You dont have to marry me right now Y/N. You can take all the time you need. It can even be in the next 10 years and I will still be waiting. I’m asking you to be mine. To promise that one day we will be together forever,” Jungkook gave her another bunny smile that she loves so much. “I know I made mistakes. And there’s nothing I hate and regret more than the moment I hurt you. I love you so much.You are the only one for me. The one I want to share my dreams, my success, my whole being with. I, Jeon Jungkook, promise to be yours and forever will be at your beck and call. Everything that I am, everything that I have is yours. I love you Song Y/N. Please say yes,”

With tears running heavily down her cheeks, Y/N smiles.

Minghao quickly turns away from what he saw. He had searched for Y/N everywhere and finally found her at the back garden. But she’s not alone. In fact she’s with Jeon Jungkook, who is down on his knees with a ring in his palms. The moment Minghao saw Y/N smiles after the sweetest proposal he had ever heard, he realizes what that means. It seems that his one mistake will haunt him forever. It costs him to lose the love of his life.

—————–

Minghao quickly bid goodbye to his members and told his manager that he’s going for a walk. He ended up sitting in a lone bench somewhere even he himself is not sure. His body is numb, hell, even his mind is numb. He doesnt even know how long he’s been sitting therr, staring into nothingness. He dont think he can ever recover this heartbreak.

“I’ll buy you chicken nuggets, as long as I can share the fries,”

Minghao snapped out from his dazed and turned around so fast that he might get a whiplash. Minghao thought he was hallucinating when he sees Y/N standing there, wind blowing in her oerfectly coiffed hair, holding brown paperbags which he assumes contains the said chicken nuggets and fries, smiling ever so brightly. Tears are still evident in her puffy red eyes.

Why is she here? Is she here to tell me that she finally chose Jungkook?

Minghao immediately walks up to her. If this is the last moment that he can have with her, he’s going to make it count. He cant help but teared up, looking at this beautiful girl that he loves with all his heart but now belongs to someone else.

“Did you know, by saying yes to that question two years ago to a total stranger in a McDonald’s at 3 freaking am, my life changed forever?” Y/N stepped closer, her smile got bigger.

“Y/N… you dont have to tell me. I already know tha-

“You dont know anything,” Y/N cut him off and take another small step towards him. “I love you Xu Minghao. You’re the one. Its has always been you,”

Y/N close their gap and placed her lips on his before Minghao can register what is happening and what she had said. Feeling her lips on his, Minghao, who is still wandering if this is reality or just some bad dream that he will eventually wake up from, kisses her back, putting all the love, longing, desire that he has for her in their very first kiss.

/////////

Jungkook slide down on the garden bench after Y/N left, staring at the ring he had picked out so carefully for her.

“I love you Song Y/N. Please say yes,”

With tears running heavily down her cheeks, Y/N smiles.

She slowly kneels down to Jungkook’s height and grabbed both of his hands.

“You know you will always be my first love. Everything you said sound like a dream. A dream that up until now, I know I wont be able to turn into reality. But I’m sorry Jungkook. I cant,” she sniffled. Jungkook just look at her, not knowing what to say. His heart is starting to break, piece by piece. He can feel it. “Two years ago, I would say yes in a heart beat. You were my dream, my future, Jungkook. You are everything I’ve ever wanted. I would have given up everything just to be Jeon Y/N. But all that has changed now. My heart has been thrown around, stabbed, burned, stepped on, cracked and broken to million tiny pieces. I never thought it can ever be whole again. But someone did managed to save it, slowly he pieced it back together again, and now it just refused to belong to anyone else but him,” Y/N blinked and more tears started to fall. Jeon Jungkook has always been her dream, her future, someone she wanted to be with until the rest of days, and right now saying no to him is also breaking her own heart. But her heart knows what it wants, and its not Jungkook.

“It’s Minghao isnt it?”

“I’m sorry Jungkook,” was all she wss able to say before she gave him a peck on his cheek and run towards the shadow she saw that must have overseen them.

Jungkook snapped the ring box close and shoved it back in his pockets. He let out a deep sigh and finally let all the tears he held inside roll out.

It’s okay Y/N. I’m happy you found someone who will love you as you deserved to be love.I’m happy he is able to save your heart.

Be happy, my love. I will always love you

And there, late at night, in the middle of a prestigious party, sat a well known man, loved by millions of his fans, alone on a garden bench, crying his heart out for the lost of the love of his life.

************** Epilogue up next!

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like-a-bag-of-potatoes · 8 years ago

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With You By My Side - Four

A/N: I have said this before and I’ll say it again. This series is gonna be 90% angst. By now you all know that the Reader is sick with terminal cancer, so it shouldnt come as a surprise that its gonna be a bumpy ride. I will try and warn appropriately in each chapter, but if I do miss something, please let me know. Also, thank you for all of your feedback, keeps me motivated and inspired. An last but not least, thank you to my beautiful beta @thorne93, you are a life saver.

Characters: Jensen, Reader.

Warnings: Sick reader, some angst, some fluff, probably some language.

Wordcount: 1453

Catch up HERE

*Not my GIF*

Once Jensen parked his car in your driveway you all but jumped out and walked inside the house as fast as your body would allow. Jensen watched you disappear through your door from the car, taking a deep breath to collect himself before he followed with the small bag you had brought with you to and from the hospital. He couldn't imagine the things that were going through your mind at this point, all he knew was that he needed to be here for you.

You threw yourself down on your bed and let a few quiet tears fall from your eyes. There were so many things that ran through your mind, removing the stitches, starting chemo, getting sicker, dying. You were scared, of course you were, but you knew that Jensen was going to be there with you every step of the way, you knew that nothing in this world could keep him away because that was the kind of man he was, and that was only one of the many reasons you loved him. Guilt clenched at you as you realized he was downstairs alone, probably confused as to why you gave him the cold shoulder, probably struggling with this as much, if not more, as you were. at least you had him to lean on, but who did he have? You had told him not to tell anyone what was going on, but you realized now that he would need someone to help him through this as well.

You didn't know how much time had passed when you finally emerged from your room and joined him downstairs, finding him by the kitchen table with a coffee in his hands.

“Hey,” you tried quietly.

“Hey,” he responded with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Please. The stuff they serve at the hospital doesn't really qualify as coffee,” you joked as you sat down across from him. There was a few moments of silence as he got a mug ready and placed it in front of you before taking a seat himself. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” he assured with a slight nod.

You bit your lip as you thought about how to word yourself. “First I'm really sorry for the way I acted at the hospital and in the car. It's just that today was the first time I saw… myself after the surgery and it hit me a lot harder that I thought it would, and then when you came to hug me I kind of panicked because I was afraid that you would be able to feel that I'm… different, if that makes any sense.”

“You never have to apologize to me, (YN). And you certainly don't have to be afraid of me.” The hurt and honesty in his emerald orbs hit you square in the chest. Of course you knew he would never judge.. Or whatever it was you were afraid he would do, but you couldn't really explain it to yourself and definitely no to him, so you just shrugged it off and started to fill him in about what was coming next.

“I know what lies ahead of me, and I'm guessing it's gonna be a long and bumpy ride, I just don't want you to feel obligated to be here with me,” you finished.

“There's nowhere else I would be, you know that,” Jensen said with half a smile. “I really appreciate you being honest with me though.”

“Well… I don't really feel like I have time to beat around the bush,” you half joked.

“Not even a little funny,” he chuckled halfheartedly, a little spark returning to his green orbs.

“I think I want to enjoy the rest of my coffee outside while watching the sunset. You care to join me?”

Jensen didn't even hesitate to follow you outside, your backyard was one of his favorite places in the world, the view over lake Austin was just a small part of it. This was where he had first met you, where the two of you had gotten to know each other, where you had spent countless hours just hanging out and goofing around. One night you had even made love out here under the stars, covered only by the darkness of the night. Yes, this was definitely one of his favorite places.

He took a seat next to you in the grass, gently wrapping his arm around your shoulders. At first your body tensed under his touch and he was reminded about what you had said earlier about him feeling you were different, but just as he was about to remove his arm and apologize he felt your body relax into his, a content sigh leaving your lips.

“I love you, (YN),” he whispered before placing a featherlight kiss to your hair.

“I love you too, Jensen.”

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence as you sat in the yard and watched the sky change colors in time with the setting sun. This had always been one of your favorite places to be, and having Jensen by your side just made it that much greater.

You woke the next morning to the smell of bacon and pancakes wafting up from the kitchen.

“You didn't have to do all of this,” you said, smiling at the sight before you. Jensen was wearing a pair of pajama pants that hung low on his hips, a white henley t-shirt that clung nicely to his body, his hair still ruffled with sleep, and then to top it all off, your very pink apron was tied around his waist. “Although, you do look fabulous,” you grinned.

“I think this apron really brings out my eyes,” he said in a serious tone, but the slight crinkle in the corner of his eyes told you he was joking. “How are you feeling today?”

“I'm okay. Still a little sore, and getting dressed is a bitch, but all in all i'm doing good,” you answered honestly.

“Listen,” he started, motioning for you to take a seat and handing you a cup of coffee. “We have two weeks left of filming up in Vancouver before hiatus, but I talked to the guys up there this morning and they think that if we work through the weekend I can be done with my scenes by Sunday, which means I can come with you for chemo on Monday. And don't worry, I didn't tell them what it was for, just that it was personal and very important to me,” he rambled on.

You didn't quite know what to say. There he was putting heaven and earth in motion just so that he could be with you and support you through your first treatment, and on top of all that he couldn't even tell anyone why he was asking them to flip the schedule around. Without even thinking you stood from your chair and walked over to where he was standing, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging yourself tight against his strong body. “You didn't have to do all of this you know,” you mumbled into his chest.

“I know, I wanted to.” He wrapped his arms around you, reveling in the feel of you in his arms, taking comfort in the familiar scent of your shampoo mixed with what was uniquely your smell.

“Thank you,” you said, releasing your hold on him a little so you could look into his eyes. “But you don't have to keep this a secret. I'm not saying you should scream it from the rooftops, but you can tell your friends and the people you work with. It's not like I'll be able to keep this secret forever anyway,” you told him.

The two of you were standing so close, wrapped up in each other’s arms, looking into each other's eyes. In this moment it was hard to remember that you were broken up, it was hard not to lean up on your toes and softly press your lips to his. For a moment you just stood there like you were glued in place, unable to move away.

“Breakfast!” Jensen exclaimed suddenly, effectively bringing you back to the present.

The two of you ate in silence, both aware of the pull you had felt towards each other just a moment ago. You were still completely in love with this man, how could you not be, but you han no plans of telling him that. Having him by your side as a friend was more than you could have ever asked for, and you were not about to push him away by confessing your undying love for him.

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kelyvanessa · 8 years ago

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Subconscious

I’ve been slacking a lot lately, at everything I’m supposed to do. Messy messy raw blog.

And today, I just realised that there have been a lot of time over the past years where I get these urges to write stories or ideas or shenanigans about me that I’ve been ignoring because I had something else to do.

This is the 5th year I am studying Architecture, I’m supposed to be graduating next month but I can’t, cuz I thought if people can neglect their studies, why can’t I do the same. Which in this case, and I’m saying this without tryna offend anyone, is about 70% of the architecture students in my university. Of course that is an estimate. Now I feel like I should explain that which would be irrelevant to what I wanted to write about today.

I do have friends right now that should’ve graduated last year, that are still struggling. The circumstance is different for each, I’m not tryna generalize that every architecture student in my university aren’t graduating on schedule because they are taking for granted their studies, but mostly, it is the case.

Anyway, after going through this hell of a course for almost 5 years now, without a single break that lasts for more than two weeks, with numerous suicidal and panic attack episodes here and there, it makes me think, ask why I chose this course really.

Earlier, I just realised that it all boils down to my environment growing up.

Well, I guess the most basic, and what I’ve always told anyone who’d ask is that my mom is a graduate of Civil Engineering, and I’ve always wanted to be one ever since I could remember, and I also liked math, so it was y’know I just wanted to continue doing the math that I really liked. Then I got interested in art, and so engineering plus art is Architecture. And so around senior year high school, I changed my dreams.

But, subconsciously the bullying and lack of appreciation I went through growing up was what made me wanna do Architecture.

Honestly, I cried to my dad just to enroll myself in this course; my mom consistently told me it’s gonna be hard (it is, but i didnt have any idea how hard it was gonna be) but that just made me wanna enroll in it more cuz I don’t like settling for something easier, just cuz the initial option is hard. I wanted to show people I could overcome that difficulty, although I’m really lazy.

I grew up being bullied all sorts of things, for my skin color and a lil’ bit about how I’m unpretty to them. I was not popular among everyone, I didn’t have the best ‘making friends’ skills, I was superbly insecure of everything cuz I was bullied.

When I was a kid, I saw that being on top of the class prevents you from getting bullied. By on top, I dont mean grades really. Just on top in anyway. So I’ve constantly wanted to be better at things than other people, which was bad, cuz it made me loathe at others I couldnt surpass, and sometimes think of myself too highly if I did get on ‘top’ at a certain area of expertise.

By now you’ve realised my thoughts aren’t very wise to share to the world. But I’ve always wanted to share my thoughts, but whenever I do, cliche, I end up losing that friend. And so I stuck to reading books, doing my maths, listening to hiphop music, only befriending a couple other people but not exactly telling them everything about me.I guess those conscious decisions no to partake in the social world so much made me very suicidal, especially in high school. Emo, if you will.

Sometimes, someone would give me the confidence to share my inner thoughts, and then I’d end up being hated by everybody because I couldn’t exactly gauge how savage I’m being towards others. I guess that, the inability to socialize when you’ve got a lot going on in your mind; the inability to just be yourself was really hard.

But then I noticed, when you’re looked up on, people won’t judge you for being savage or even expressing the darkest thoughts in the corner of your mind. They wouldn’t care so much, and they’d let you be cuz you’re a popular kid.

Didn’t everyone just want to be understood, and be themselves?

So that subconsciously brought me to the decision to become an Architect because, Architects are deemed high in the society, Architecture is like a very elite group of people, that unless you studied years on it, you can never be a member of it. It’s not something you can just pick up without years of schooling and practice. It’s awesome as well, because when whatever you’re project’s finished, it is experienced by people. It is an idea from this not so kind brain of mine people can experience it, feel it and critic it but not to your face.

Subconsciously, I wanted to be famous and looked up on, even by the older people, because of my ideas, from studying something very specific and comprehensive at the same time, that not everyone can just do, without having to be pretty or white skinned or talking so frankly to every person that’ll be affected by my brain children.

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