#if you saw me edit this post ten million times. no you didnt

[roguescum]

i think that they would be bad at it

bonus:

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[simply-sams-things]

Sunday morning (Brian x reader)

Okay so this is inspired by the song Sundy Morning by Maroon 5 and I thought this was a cute Brian X reader post.

Warnings:Cuteness and fluff

Summary:You're a maid for a big time recording manager in the early 1970s this is an extra job you have so you can get some more fun spending money for clothes or dates.You first meet Brian when he came to the house with the rest of Queen and you instantly fell head over heels for Brian,after a few months of both of you flirting together Brian has something to ask you.

----------------------------------------------

"Hey (Y/N) can I ask you something?"Brian said to you with a shaky voice.

"Of course you can Brian!" You say a bit to eagerly.

You liked Brian but you never knew if he liked you back.When ever you stood next to him you felt happy but nervous but you enjoyed his company.

"The guys and I are having a little party later tonight and I was wondering if you-"he started but then...

"Just ask her out already!" You hear and then you see Roger,very intoxicated, waltz into the room.

"Roger are you drunk?" Brian and you say at the same time you then put out a little giggle when you realised that he was!

"No I-I'm not"He said with a stutter and then he collapsed on the couch and he then had fallen asleep after saying something about a car which you and Brian couldn't quite make out.

"As I was saying before I got rudely interrupted'' he said looking at Roger "would you like to come to a party the guys and I are having tonight?"

"Well I have to see if I can get time off but I think I can"You happily replied.

"Great!"He said joyously

----------------------------------------------

You showed up to the bands flat a little after 8:30.You were wearing a short dark purple velvet dress paired with some black knee length heeled boots with some space jewelry.You could here loud music from inside and you thought that if they are not careful the police are going to turn up.After making sure you looked okay you saw a sign that said just walk on in.

After walking in you saw many people and you of course was looking for Brian but you couldn't find that tall tree man anywhere and so you looked around for anyone else in the band so you could ask where the man who invited you was.

You spotted Freddie at the drink table so you walked over to say hi.

"Oh My Goodness!(Y/N) darling you look amazing!"Freddie gave a kiss on the cheek something he does with everyone.

"Thank you Freddie!"You replied to the complement "you look great as well I was wondering if you know where Brian was,he is the one who invited me to the party anyways so I wanted to say thank you"

"Darling he is in his bedroom finishing up I'll go get him you just wait and get a drink while you're at it!"he said and left you while he got Brian.

You noticed a woman standing there, she smiled at you and you returned the favor.

"I'm (Y/N) nice to meet you" You said

"Hi there I'm Mary" she said "Nice to meet you as well,so how do you know the band?"

"Oh well I'm a maid for the recording manager and Brian asked me to come tonight"You didn't want to lie so you told it to her straight "how do you know the band?"

"I'm Freddies girlfriend" Mary said

He has a girlfriend!?You never thought in a million years that he had a girlfriend but you just smiled and when you turned around you saw Brian coming your way and you got that nervous feeling in your stomach.

"Hi there!"He said cheerfully with a big toothy smile

"Hi Brian"You said with a big smile

"You look wonderful!"He said

"Thank you Brian!"You said

"Want to go outside and chat? Its a bit stuffy in here"He asked pointing out towards the back garden.

You nooded yes and said goodbye to Mary with a simple wave and smile.

There wasn't anyone else out in the back so just you and Brian.

You chatted about your studies back at university and he talked about his.You guys also talked about both of your childhoods.

At around 11 pm you realised the party was coming to an end and that there would be no lifts to take you back to your own flat so you were going to walk at least two blocks to your flat and as you were getting up Brian grabbed your hand and pulled you back towards him and asked where you were going.

"I'm going to walk back to my flat"You said cheekily

"How about I walk you home" he said and then you heared the loudest clap of thunder ever.It startled both of you and then you,since it was dark,felt the rain starting to fall on you and both of you ran inside.

"Since I'm not letting you walk home in the rain how about you stay here for the night?"He asked you hopefully.

"I have no where to sleep Brian" you said

"You can sleep in my room and I sleep on the couch?"he asked but you didn't want him to sleep on the couch.

"How about clothes?I dont have any pajamas"you said

"You can sleep in a shirt of mine and some shorts"He replied

"Fine but can you not sleep on the couch?"You said so fast hopping he didnt here that last part

"What?"He said in a shocked voice

"Nothing"you said "all I said was yes"

"Okay"He said with a raised eyebrow

You got changed,his shorts where to big for you so you just wore his giant shirt that had Jimmy Hendrix on the front.When you walked out you found him cleaning with Mary and so you decided to join in an attempt to make a dent in the giant mess.

After,what felt like forever,around 2 am you guys finished cleaning up and Mary said goodnight and went to join Freddie in bed.Brian went and changed and cleaned his room the best he could to make it comfortable for you to sleep in.

"My room is picked up so you can sleep well"he said sounding tired

"Do you want me to sleep on the cou-" You started but he immediately cut you off and said "no you sleep in my room"

"Good night sleep well"He said and smiled and left you in his room.

----------------------------------------------

30 minutes later

His room got cold and you couldn't fall asleep so you got out of bed and walked out of the door to see Brian on the couch reading.

"Hi"You said in a raspy voice

"Hi,are you alright?"He asked in worried tone of voice.

"Well your room is kind of cold and I was wondering if you had want extra blankets?"You asked

After a good ten minutes of both of you looking for at least on blanket you couldn't find any.Brian apologized.

"Well mabye we could do a thing I saw in a magazine about penguin's,were they huddle together to get warm?"You said with a laugh.

"Mabye"He said with a smile.

Then you grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom and climed in the bed and said "they stay warm from their body heat".

"I know"he said "so what are you implying I should do?"

"Get in, I feel bad for you sleeping on the couch and this is your flat and your bed and I'm very cold so you stay on your side and I stay on mine and that's it"You said to him

He looked at you and nooded in aprovel. He climed in and said goodnight and turned the light of and when you woke up you were in his arms and you didn't want to be let go.

This Sunday Morning was your favorite Sunday Morning ever and you thought that if the rain never happend that this happy feeling in you wouldn't have been there.

----------------------------------------------

I know the fluff is real and this dosent make a lot of sense but I feel like this would have happend between Brian and someone at one point if you want to be tagged let me know and I'll edit it in for you.