#if you read this far just know im thankful grateful blessed
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
navstuffs · 1 year ago
Text
Secret Admirer
Pairing: Leon Kennedy x GNLibrarian!Reader
Summary: It is fall, and Leon Kennedy has a secret admirer.
Warning tags:  ROOTH TOOTING FLUFF, college au, leon wears glasses, shy!reader&leon, leon self depreciates a bit
Author's Notes: hiii. though where i live fall doesn’t exist (i swear, we are all being cooked alive at this point), im happy to write something to welcome fall! dedicated to @sarahs-secrets2 whose birthday is tomorrow! happy birthday, my friend!! thank you for being such an amazing friend to me, you are the best!! also i won't lie, i might be working on a small drabble for a smutty second part (flannel shirts, all im saying). dividers by @firefly-graphics. images found on pinterest and edited on faceapp.
leon's masterlist
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
It all starts right at the beginning of fall.
Leon Kennedy never considered himself the type of guy someone could deeply fall in love with. In his own opinion, he has always been an average kind of guy. A little shy, with a pair of black glasses in front of his eyes since he couldn't see long or short distances.
Since entering college and breaking up with his first (and only) girlfriend, romance wasn't clearly in his plans. He had to focus on his studies to become a lawyer and pass the bar exam. Unlike his colleagues, who partied every Friday, Leon was busy with his head inside books—most of the time.
There is also another weighting factor: Leon had a merit-based scholarship. It is not something he would tell someone, but it meant he had worked his ass off to get there, prove himself to stay there every semester. He couldn't waste his time with anything, especially with romance.
Leon enters the already chilly Friday, his scarf close to his face. For some reason, fall had arrived earlier, and he couldn't be more grateful. The library is almost empty, except for a few students here and there. He goes to his usual spot, between two tall bookshelves, a seat at the very end, hidden from the rest of the world. Before he can get there, a smiling familiar face carrying a few books in their arms appears in his path: you, who worked in the library and was always ready to help students whenever needed.
"Back already?" You joke, whispering. Leon feels his blush spread, smiling back.
"You know me, can't stay away too long."
You giggle, seeming equally flustered. There is a moment of silence where you two stare at each other, saying nothing else. Then, you handle Leon one of the books from your arms.
"Here. This just arrived today. I hope it can be helpful."
Before Leon can answer, you leave, waving, without looking directly at his face. Leon walks to his usual spot, removes his jacket, and hangs on the chair before placing the book on the table. He sits, opens the first page, and finds a yellow post-it with something written on it. Leon then takes his glass case out of his backpack, changing his distance ones to the reading ones. Yeah, he was one of those blessed ones who couldn't see far away or close. There it was, written in blue ink:
"Hi! I hope I don't scare you by writing this, but I just wanted to let you know you are adorable!" 
Leon's eyebrows raise as he looks around. Most students in there have their heads on their books. You had given this book to him earlier, so maybe? No, Leon realizes. So many other students have probably read it before. Wait, but didn't you say the book just arrived today? Well, it could have been a donation, and someone left it there.
Without making much noise, Leon gets up to look for you behind your front desk. You seem focused but promptly raise your head when you see Leon coming.
"Hey. Something wrong?" Your face is blurred, and Leon suddenly realizes he didn't change into his long-distance glasses.
"Yeah. Someone left this note in the book. Just wanted to give you a heads up."
"Oh." Leon handles the book for you, and he can't quite figure out your expression due to the lack of proper glasses. "I guess it came with the donation."
"Yeah. Probably." You whisper back in a strange tone. Leon gives you a slight nod before returning to his usual spot. Well, that was odd, but he didn't have time to think much about it. He needed to remain focused anyway.
Tumblr media
Next Friday comes, and the temperatures slowly start dropping, which comes with a relief to Leon. He hates the heat, despises how the Earth is warming up, and nobody seems to give a damn about it. The view to the campus Library looks so pretty now: straight out from a book, orange leaves on the floor, crunching as Leon walks over them. It was one of his favorite Autumn activities when he was a kid—that and carving pumpkins. The only problem with the sudden chilly weather was his glasses getting fogged, but hey, it seemed like a fair trade.
He arrives near the library's building, finding you outside. You are wearing a deep green sweater with some trees drawn on it. On the top of your head, a cute black hat protects your ears. Leon can't help but smile when he notices you rub your hands and arms.
"It is not even that cold yet." Leon teases as he gets close. You look back at him, startled but happy to see him.
"Says the one with the heavy jacket and a scarf!"
"Hey!" Leon complains, pretending to be insulted. "At least this is better than the heat we had before, right?"
"Yeah."
Before Leon can walk in and leave you alone, he asks, his curiosity peaking.
"Hey, so what about that note from last week? Discovered where it was from?"
"Oh." You seem taken aback by his question before shrugging, "I don't know. I threw it away anyway. Nothing important."
Leon nods before waving and walking into the warmth of the library. It is as empty as last week, which Leon prefers. He goes to his usual spot, noticing the yellow post-it on top of his table. Leon rushes to grab it and read. It is written in the same blue ink as before.
"Just wanted to wish you a good week. I admire you from afar, hoping you achieve all your goals!"
Leon's first reaction is to look for you, show you the new note, and believe again this is a mistake. But then he ponders, his curiosity speaking louder. No, he isn't interested in romance, nor does he have time for it. But, if those notes are really, really meant for him, why? He isn't that special or someone who should have secret admirers. Leon has always been curious, so he places the note in his pocket.
In the weeks following, he ends up receiving more and more notes. They are on top of his desk, under the desk, near the wall, always visible so he can find them. And since the first two ones, they have started to come signed with "Your Secret Admirer." It can't just be a coincidence at this point.
"You are doing amazing, and I hope you continue to do so! - Your secret admirer."
"I wish I could say how much I admire you to your adorable face! - Your secret admirer."
"It makes me so happy to see you pursuing your dream; it gives me the courage to pursue mine! - Your secret admirer."
"One of these days, I will gather the courage to invite you out, but until then, I keep thinking about you as I look at the stars."
Leon's suspicions are towards someone inside the library, of course. His first thought is you, but it simply can't be. You are too bright, too cute, too funny for him. Deep down, Leon wishes it was you; he might have harbored a tiny crush on you since the first time you helped him, but he knows it can't be. His other suspicions are the other people in the library, but he barely knows them, except for an eventual nod or "hello" here and there.
Tumblr media
It is finally time for the first week of exams, and the library is getting crowded. Leon arrives earlier that Friday and, for a miracle, can find his spot empty and, sadly, no note this time. He tries not to concentrate on his disappointment, focusing on his studies when, in the corner of his eyes, he comes into the corridor. You look dressed for a freezing winter, rushing toward Leon with something in your hands. When you see him, you stop in your tracks, your eyes slightly going wide. Then you turn around, leaving in the other direction. 
Much later that night, Leon walks to the front desk. You look busy but still manage to give him a tired smile.
"Getting crazy over here, huh."
"Yeah. It is time for the tests, so people can go a little crazy." You explain, shrugging. You look anxious, but Leon presumes it relates to the agitated week. "Hey, do you mhm like pumpkin chocolate brownies?"
"Sure?" Leon's stomach grumbles as you pull out something from your drawer. He hadn't had something to eat since he came to the library three hours ago. Two small pumpkin chocolate brownies, probably from the candy shop near the campus. "Thanks, I haven't eaten anything today."
"Just don't eat here, okay?" You wink, smiling.
Leon holds them, staring at your table as you return your attention to your work. A pile of books is nearby and more on the other side of the table. His attention is drawn to a small yellow paper folded so many times. He gathers his courage and opens his mouth to finally ask you what he has been dying to ask you this whole time.
"Hey, is it you my—?"
"Excuse me, can you help me find this book?" A female student calls your attention, interrupting Leon. You didn't seem to have heard anything, Leon asked, excusing yourself to help the stressed lady. 
Leon watches his surroundings. He shouldn't think about that, but his body works faster than his mind. Leon grabs the yellow folded paper and runs away without looking back, his whole face red. Did he just steal something? 
When he is out of the library range, he stops near a street light and frantically opens the post-it, his hands shaking, not due to the cold. Could it be you? Could it be really you? Leon reads it once. Then twice.
"Hey, I know you have been studying so hard. Here, have some pumpkin chocolate brownies to sweeten your night and give you some luck for the tests!- Your Secret Admirer."
So, it is you. Leon re-reads the sentence over and over again, thinking of different possibilities. It could have been an accident, right? Someone else could have brownies for him, some other secret admirer. But so specific like that?
"Stop. You are overreacting." Leon whispers to himself, placing the note in his jacket pocket. He looks back towards the library, half of him demanding for him to go back in there and face you. Wasn't Leon that wanted to have been you this whole time? Keeping all the notes even though they might not be for him? Wasn't he even considering opening an exception for this rule just because of you?
Leon will make a decision. Not tonight, no. Tonight, he will enjoy the feeling of knowing you are his secret admirer. 
Tumblr media
Two weeks pass, and you don't see Leon. You wonder where he is since the last time he almost caught you placing the brownies and the note on his desk. You should have known he would arrive earlier since Leon has been so responsible about his studies (something you admired about him). Not coming for two weeks? You wonder if he was sick. Or maybe Leon chose to study in his dorm since the library had been so crowded lately.
After helping an agitated first-year who couldn't find a Math book, you walk back to your table and find a Pumpkin bookmark there. You turn it around, finding a sentence in beautiful handwriting: "Some say Autumn isn't the season of love, but I disagree when I have Fallen for you. - Your Not-So-Secret-Admirer?"
You feel your cheeks heating up, immediately thinking about Leon and finding him right before you, his entire face red as a tomato. You open your mouth and close it, unsure what to say.
"Sorry. I hope that didn't scare you."
"N-no! You didn't!" You reply loud enough to get some "sshhh." You shut your mouth, looking apologetic towards Leon, who smiles.
"Would you like to go out with me? There is a harvest fair nearby, and I was wondering if we could..."
"I would love to." You rush to answer, whispering. "If I don't disturb your studies, of course."
"Nope, not a problem."
Some might say nothing grows during Autumn. The leaves fall as the plants prepare for another winter until spring gives them life again, and the cycle repeats. Well, some things can bloom during Autumn, as Leon Kennedy's smile to you is enough proof of that.
515 notes · View notes
dodgerkedavra · 4 months ago
Note
Im saying this with my full heart. You are a blessing. Thank you. I love your fic so much and have been obsessively reading them. You’re currently helping me cope through the first stressful weeks of college and i just need you to know that the way you write HPDM has touched my soul. I love how they take care of each other in each and every fic you write of them and so far I havent met a fic by you I didnt like. I don’t often read fic from the same authors over and over again(though i really should do so more) but you’ve become one of my favorites. Thank you for all the world building and the way you portray them. ❤️❤️❤️
I am saying THIS with my full heart: you are an angel. At this very moment I am lying in my bed and before I saw this I was having a lot of Sad Thoughts as I am wont to do, and I had just begun to have my usual Dramatic Thoughts about how maybe my stories don’t Mean Anything to People and I Should Just Disappear into the Fictional Night. And then I saw your note and the sun came out from behind a cloud; the rain stopped. (This is true!! It really did! For a second. It’s raining again now. LOL.)
I have to tell you—I am so, so honored and deeply joyful that my stories are making your first weeks at college a little easier. I was a complete wreck when I went to college. I was so homesick and nervous and everything felt very huge and terrifying. I wish I had known about fics then—I would have clung to them with everything I had!! But I didn’t know, and I hadn’t started truly writing yet, so I couldn’t even tell those stories to myself.
I’m feeling very emosh now because I write Drarry out of love and obsession (of course!) but also because I love writing the ways they care about and for each other and I always hope that some of that caring reaches through to the other side to whoever is reading.
Such a time-travel paradox!! If I could go back and give these stories to myself my first month at college, I would have become someone different, and maybe I wouldn’t have written these stories. Maybe everything worked out just the way it was supposed to so you can have them with you now. I very much love that idea.
If there’s anything ever I can write for you, some wish you have, please come to my inbox and tell me!! I mean it. I am so grateful to you for writing this note and for reading my stories. I hope college becomes more peaceful and you feel more at ease. Thank you so much for telling me my stories were there at the right moment. I’ll be here, writing some more ❤️❤️❤️
9 notes · View notes
remyfire · 5 months ago
Note
(i don’t have an ao3 account so imma go ahead and leave my comment here fndbsbsnsndn) i just read the latest chapters of ease of use (pleasant surprise cause i thought it was just gonna be a one shot) and my god. excellent work. i don’t usually read a lot of angst or anything so i don’t get super emotional when reading fic but i was tearing up towards the end my lord. your writing is so beautiful and your portrayal of hawk is so wonderfully queer and on point and im. AAAAAAA. perfect balance of porn and deep exploration of hawkeye as a character. i hope you have a wonderful day!! 💕💕
Anon, you have no idea how badly I needed a little bit of sunshine in my life today :) This gave me quite a boost and I'm so grateful for it. Thank you for coming to let me know!!
I feel like I fuck with him so much, but I love writing Hawk, and that's fascinating to me. Usually I steer clear of the protagonists when shipping or writing because there's so much more room to explore the characters who the whole world isn't revolving around, but bless him, Hawk has given me so many opportunities to tug at his threads.
Another small confession, I love getting to dig into parts of him that I feel like I don't see very much in fic, like his stubbornness, selfishness, tendency to manipulate things to go in the direction he wants, lack of respect for the boundaries of many other people—especially women—and his belief that he knows better than most. I would never say those aspects are all he is—the compassion, love, and loyalty present in him, among other things, will always shine as bright as a sun in him and are far more the core of who he is—but fics like Ease of Use give me the opportunity to pick at him a little bit. I'm loving the hell out of it. I'm really glad to hear that you are enjoying that character exploration and I hope you continue to enjoy his growth!! :D
16 notes · View notes
azsazz · 1 year ago
Note
just wanted to add on to the anon that said that the lack of engagement is because some people don't know the books or don't like the kink. i'm kind of corroborating this because i only know acotar so i've only read the acotar fics so far since reading about characters i don't know really doesn't do it for me honestly (though i've seen some kinks i like like breeding with ithan and idk who ithan is but i will be tuning in anyway because i know you'll write it beautifully). also the thing with kinktober is that the stories revolved around the kink (lol) so i guess it's a given that not everyone is going to like all of them like i saw cassian had period sex and it kinda makes me uncomfy or lucien has sub and i don't like when reader is the dom because i'm just not one (unless i understood that wrong and it's reader who is the sub? idk) so i'll probably have to skip those ones but that doesn't mean i don't appreciate your writing or think that it's amazing and it's really not your problem (it's not you, it's me)
also, and this might just be a me thing, but i don't usually have time or am in the mood to read every day so i like letting fics kinda pile up and read them all when im really into it. i honestly read azriel's and then only checked today to see what more you wrote (and i have to say rhys's one was sooooo good, just truly a blessing)
i just wanted to say this because i really hate to think you'd feel discouraged or upset over the lack of engagement and to make sure you knew that these could be some of the reasons and that none of those have anything to do your writing or anything because you're seriously one of my favorites fanfic writers and even if i don't end up reading everything i can't even begin to tell you how much i appreciate you writing a fic for every day of the month!
You have some great points here for sure, I definitely considered that people wouldn't enjoy/care for certain characters, but I totally forgot to consider the kink part of it, which absolutely makes sense! I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable or what not, and I understand the not having time/energy to read everything all the time because i get that way too!
I appreciate you taking the time to message me :) It's not that I'm upset per se, but you know how it is sometimes 🤷🏼‍♀️ maybe people are outgrowing this era and people have things going on too, it could be so many different things! I just miss the beginning when everyone was so engaged and bantering with me and sending me questions and stuff in asks. Just because my reqs are closed right now doesn't mean i don't want to talk to you all! 💙
well, anywho, thank you for the kind words and taking the time to message me 💙💙 I'm grateful for you all, more so than you know!
10 notes · View notes
tenteen · 1 year ago
Note
hi beautiful. what are your buffy opinions. lay 'em all on me
Riley sucks i hope they kill him horribly . i hated him the second he showed up i knewwww it was going to be a romance i hated watching. elaboration: hes like if they made everything about Bangel uninteresting and (as far as i am) have not at all examined any power dynamics between the two, and i feel like if they do they will find a way to position Buffy over him since they love to connect them on the monster hunting front but since shes the mystical slayer she has some kind of power over Riley. I can see it now. Also he treats her like 11 treats clara with the whole obsessing over her being enigmatic or whatever and i hate him
i used to be a Xander hater but hes grown on me a lot but he still can be so sucks sometimes and also it gets annoying when all Joss does is use him for a mouthpiece for his jokes. I understand hes a self insert but it makes it even more annoying
I wish we knew anything about Olivia its cool to see her in the show and its not like. super important but if shes going to keep showing up in Giles’ life i want to know about her !!
I’m all for gay willow im ready for it but the way they made Oz leave the show was so OOC and i loved him and willow together and honestly? Wild At Heart wasnt a terrible episode i enjoyed it even and from my understanding Seth Green had a movie he wanted to be in so he was written out. well :p he did not deserve that
I have not watched any Angel yet and I really miss cordelia… badly
willow buffy should be end game. to me. thank you and goodnight
s3 was probably my favorite so far the mayor plotline was legitimately so good and fascinating. ok ill stop ramblint bc i cant think of anything else ive been thinking abt super hard. Im so excited to see more of Tara and still being grateful i know fuck all about this show. Hush was episode of all time. also BEER BAD IS NOT THAT BAD OF AN EPISODE I HAD FUN WATCHING IT IT WAS SO SILLY.
also it was criminal how short lived some of the best characters are. Faith Oz Drusilla …… And Angel i get he got his whole own show but I really just enjoyed seeing him in Buffy sometimes 😭 Do not talk to me abt S3’s ending or Amends or The Prom or any of that bc … I went insane for so many reasons and Bangel made me genuinely unwell
ok now i’ll tell u my fave characters (in order) and finish this post . thank u for asking feel feel to rip me apart in my replies and pls dont spoil me for anything !!
Willow
Buffy
Giles
Spike
Drusilla
Oz
Faith
Cordelia
Angel
Harmony
Xander
if u read all of this bless u
3 notes · View notes
Note
ari!! i am dropping by with some good music and new year wishes! 🎶🎉 thank you so much for being part of my 2023 🥹 you are incredibly sweet and talented, and so so so nice to talk to (thoughtful too!!). waaah i am sooo thankful for you!! and appreciate you so much 🥺
as a year end pick, my favourite read from you is: oh my destiny, how far you have sprung now, my god!! that fic did a number on me—the way you crafted it, the premise itself. so so sooo interesting. i adoooore it and you, and ofc our gojo 🥺
if i may ask!! 🥺 (pls feel free not to answer if uncomfy!!) how was 2023 for you? what’s a favourite thing (anything) you discovered this year? do you have any reflections from the past year? any resolutions for the next? 🥹
sel!!!!!!! tysm for dropping by wahhhh ur so sweet 🥺🥺🥺🥺 here is lots of good music n new years vibes for u too 🎉🎵🎊🎶🎉🎉🎶 and some cake!! 🎂🎂
and sel pls !!!! im taking every word u said n shooting it right back at u <333 ur so so sweet and thoughtful and fun to talk to!!! im so grateful to have gotten to know u a bit these past few months hehe.
AND THAT FIC…….. ur rb on it is still soso special to me 🥺🥺😥 im so happy u liked it!! aaaaaa its so tough to pick just one favorite from your works… your 11:49 p.m. gojo drabble was the first one i read from u and it still makes me feel so soft and fuzzy (also the first time we interacted i think which gives it sentimental value!!), i lovelovelove the entire vibe u built up in make this drive last ‘til the end of this song….. and ofc i am completely obsessed w both of ur sugu drabbles (my sugu bias in effect, wbk, i can never be normal abt him) BUT OVERALL….
im probably gonna have to give it to col 2 <333 mostly bc it was so so impactful and made me feel so much. col 1 is so special to me too though!!! ur writing in general is such a blessing!! ive said this before but ur gojo is my favorite ever, ill always be so weak for anything u write for him or any of our other blorbos 🥺
and aaaa to answer your question!!…… i think 2023 was a very . Chaotic year for me but mostly in a good way!!! started uni, started this blog… one of the two seems more important but tbh the one that feels most impactful to me is the latter LMAO 😭😭 this blog is my first time publishing any of my writing ever basically, and its been so so fun!!! uve made the experience so much sweeter too. u r such a genuinely lovely person!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
ngl though i have 0 resolutions for the next year LMAO im just gonna let 2024 do what it wants to me 😭😭 hopefully itll be a nice year though!!
what abt u sel?? how did 2023 treat u?? what did u discover or reflect on?? 👀👀 i’d love to hear it!!
4 notes · View notes
rosecoloredknight · 1 year ago
Note
Sarah
Anon,
I have to be honest, that name made me think of the only Sarah I've known in my life. At least so far. We're no longer friends— that's not a correct way to put it because I have absolutely no resentment towards her? I actually appreciate her or who i knew then? Aghh, I'm not making sense. What I am trying to say is that we are no longer a part of each other's life. But that's okay!! It's just something that happened? Do i miss them? Am i getting sad thinking about them? YES, Yes. That's why I was and am so confused about this ask. Do i answer this? HOW DO I ANSWER THIS?
Sooooo I then spent like twenty minutes scrolling through my blog to see if i reblogged an ask game that had names on it just in case? WAIT —okay, i checked again and nothing?
..Was this more of a 'talk about the Sarah's or Sarah I know' thing? I feel rude and intrusive speaking about someone without their permission or knowledge :/ but I know I have a "right" to speak about whatever and whomever — SIGH.
I think she blocked me, which again i was okay with because i think i asked her to, plus she has a right to do so if she wanted to, BUT
Sarah if you ever see this and you want this deleted, just let me know 👍🏼
Full disclosure, people grow and are not necessarily who they were in the past. This is my recollection or perspective of how i saw them and knew them then.
First off, she was smart, thoughtful, well opinionated if I may add, funny, FUN, a dork and supportive. She was one of my best friends 😊😊
One thing about our friendship that i loved so much was that we didn't have to force anything. It was or at least, for me, it felt so easy to talk to them about anything.
I stll remember that time she told me, "when i say im here for you i don't want you to say okay and never reach out. i want you to message me." Something like that. I appreciated that accountability so much because it was true. Some people say that and don't mean it and some people say okay but don't reach out. She taught me accountability when it came to wanting each other involved and being there for each other when able to.
She's super artistic and creative!? she crotched two stuffed animals!? She's an excellent baker!! I miss her cookies so much. She bought me insomnia cookies? And as much as i appreciate it and enjoyed them, NONE of them compared to the homemade cookies she sent. Yummm.
I'm someone who loves trying my friends interests once I deeply care about them. I'm saying that because she got me into chocolate covered strawberries for a bit hahaha, and I also bought some trunks from meundies thanks to her!! Speaking of which, EITHER I HAVE A BIG BUTT (WHICH I DO), AND BIG THIGHS OR THE MATERIAL IS CHEAP QUALITY because those underwears didn't last me a month or two before they ripped 😮‍💨. It's probably my fault because I i used them for jogging as well.
I miss her smile, her evergreen sea eyes, her humor, her randomness, her friendship.
I hope she's doing well in graduate school, if she hasn't already graduated?? I hope she's updated the Wreaths for fall, I hope life is treating her well and that she's doing okay. I hope that groundhog is still being a menace. I hope Pegasus is doing well. I hope she already wore those same leggings/outfit she uses for Halloween every year for the past 3 years? haha. I hope she's excited for the next three months. I hope life keeps blessing her. Most importantly, i hope she knows that no matter what happened between us, I will always be grateful for her 😊😊😊
Okay, i gotta go for a jog before the heavy thunderstorms hit. Thanks for this ask, anon. I'm sad now. I'LL BE FINEEEE 😊
Sorry for the typos!! I'm not proof reading and fixing till later!!
1 note · View note
Text
tw: SA
Im not sure how long i had this blog in general. Maybe in late May??? Probably June.
But im just reflecting on things. Losing my old tumblr blog and emails before being hospitalized and sent to a facility. Then coming back making new emails and having to start over.
You'd think something like this would devastate me. But months earlier my house caught on fire and i lost all my sketches and artwork. I lost memorable items, manga collections i had since high school.
It was all gone. So some d*** hacking my phone and making me lose access to my emails and logins was the least of my problems. But when i went through living with someone who wanted to do s*xual things to me, being coerced while i was in psychosis and being assaulted.
I felt lost. Luckily when i was hospitalized i found God again. So i was working on getting back on the straight and narrow after i thought i was being spiritually attacked and realizing someone put a curse on me. (I think i know what happened but its another story for another day) And the psychosis took time to wear off.
In the meantime i managed to make a tumblr account again and start over. And i think its probably been about 2 or 3 months (getting out of that psychosis fog finally thank God!) And im not as patient and docile as i was before during the bits i was in psychosis. But im trying my best to stay close to God and Jesus and lead/live by example.
I feel like there's a lot i can thank God for and even if its just my psychosis i truly believe i am God's servant and soldier. I've been through so much and i had been so tough through it. It was scary, but braving it through and being patient taught me how to go about my life. It also taught me the importance of faith and my priorities.
I also realize that i can be really sh**ty to people i dont know online. But we can only blame negative and toxic internet culture for that. So i started vowing that i'll try to treat people the way i wanted to be treated online. Even if we are 'enemies' i'll still be nice and kind and give you advice on being a better person.
I wanna be the light for people online. Even if im posting dumb f/o and fandom related stuff. I wanna be that person where people see my icon and say "Theyre not perfect but they really try their best to be positive"
Like i said before i dont expect everyone to like me. I shouldnt care what others think of me either. But if someone says im toxic and i dont try, i'll tell them they are a liar. Because even before i got on here again i have been trying my best since the accident. I've slipped, fell, made lots of mistakes and had a hard time staying holy and righteous on my spiritual journey.
But anybody who judges me dont know what i went through. Dont know why i am the way i am. Dont know that im constantly improving me. With God and Jesus in my life, i may not know it all but i understand things a lot more than i did before. And im appreciative of Yahweh than i have ever been.
I know all of this is temporary anyway. Though i am appreciative of what i have now. Im not too keen on who we stay with for the moment, but im thankful i got a place to stay until we move. There's a lot to be grateful for now. And even though she drives me nuts, im grateful to have my mom.
These past few months in 2023 have been crazy. And i dont know how long i'll have this blog and side blogs. But im grateful it made it this far. And who knew i'd like Saitama from One Punch Man 🤷‍♀️ ?
But the fact i jumped from Enrico Pucci, to Joseph Joestar, to Saitama so quick worries it wont last. But i might have to force this hyperfixation somehow.
Anyway, I hope i didnt bore you too much. And i know most people on tumblr dont take time to read things. But i'd say: Count your blessings, be grateful for even the smallest things, appreciate your friends online and irl, and dont take things for granted
ty y'all have a good day, God bless, and drink plenty of water✩
0 notes
chaninfused · 1 year ago
Note
furat i dont think you have like the slightest idea how i felt when i saw that you posted a new story. didnt felt this great feeling here in tumblr in a loong time 🥺🥺
not my first time sending feedback but i dont know if you remember me because the last time i did not put an emoji in my name nor i showed my username because im very shy 😅 but im a truly huge fan of your writing 🥹 like for the last three/four years ive read All your stories. and from the bottom of my heart, i truly love them all 🥲🩷 i think you have a creativity and way of words out of this planet, amazes me how gracious and beautiful your stories are… seriously i was so so excited when i saw this huge ass 60k fic for me to enjoy… it felt like the best gift 🥰🥺
fr vivid is AMAZING. i could say is your best fic so far but i think that everytime you release something… sit (which i still think about the last part until this day) and danse macabre are so precious to me that they feel like my own children… 🤕 i cherish them very much but this one physically hitted me. i was cold sweating reading the fight scenes… urghh you are the stories master and im very thankful for that 🙌 and lee minho god bless him everyday of his life 😭😭😭🙏 im reminded again that im crazy over this man. like seriously to this day i still did not recovered from danse macabre minho like damnn 🫣 and that short fic of seungmin makes me go Feral Of Cuteness
wanst my intention to got this far but i really wanted to say those things to you… furat youre the best at what you do 🫶 and idk just dropping the idea but you totally should continue your Dad Minho sequel thing.. i would love to see something for this universe! 👀😆
thank you for your great job and i hope you a lovely day, week and month 🤗🩷🫂
anonnie I don’t think you have the slightest idea how I felt reading this ask 🥹 it’s actually the sweetest thing ever, truly, thank you so much! ♥️♥️
it shocks and amazes me every time I hear that someone has been reading my writing for so long like how?! my silly little blog?? I’m just so eternally grateful 😭😭💕 and your feedback is so sweet and generous, thank you, really !!
I say this all the time but I’m really happy to know that you enjoyed vivid !! I enjoyed writing it myself and it’s honestly my dearest work at the moment (I feel like I sacrificed part of my soul in those 62k words 🥲) so it truly means so much to know that others have enjoyed it 🤧
also PLEASE I never noticed it but now that you point it out — in all of my minho fics he did become a father in the sequel 🧍🏻‍♀️ what a funny little coincidence HAHAHAH (jokes aside; I did have an idea for a short sequel for vivid but I did not intend to make them parents yet 😔 in my mind, I think they would have a child a little bit later in life because you know…mc’s trauma and all 😭 but who knows! the general idea I had for the sequel was their journey of healing so 👀 (but that is also totally dependent on whether or not I actually want to write a sequel😭))
anyway, anon you truly made my day with your lovely feedback !! you honestly flatter me, I don’t deserve all this praise 🥹🥹 thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, and I hope you too are having a wonderful day, week, and month !! 🫂♥️♥️♥️♥️
1 note · View note
spikesbimbo · 4 years ago
Text
Soft sex pt.1   pt.2
-MSBY
Tumblr media
Tags: cuddle fucking,cockwarming, morning sex, big dick!meian, bath sex, makeup sex, praise kink, hurt/comfort, pussy job
a/n: vanilla is not something to be ashamed of, its way more common than you think, you don't need to be doing kamasutra every night to keep the spark. none of that daddy shit in this. Srry : /
i also don't proofread, i h8 reading works right after i finish them, so let me know if anything's wrong.
NO KINKY FREAKY ASS SHIT 
**ONLY SOFT SEX BEYOND THIS POINT**
18+ Minors DNI
Tumblr media
-Hinata
….Morning... sex. mmhmm
He could usually control his morning wood
But after being gone for so many days, finally coming home to see you, it was impossible
You woke up after you heard a few groans, feeling him rut into your back, turning over to see his face flushed and cheeks red, whether it be from getting caught or his activities 
So you decide to help him as a good s/o should
But you're also tired… 
So you just pull your pants off and tell him to go at it, not too rough because you had to work in the afternoon.
-
“Baby, you okay?” you faintly asked, turning around, eyes trying to open after hearing him make some noises. You hated when people disturbed your sleep, which you oh so loved, but your boyfriend was an exception, sometimes.
But what you didn't expect when you opened your eyes was catching him, red faced, with his hand in his boxers trying to make it stop. Looking like he was in a lot of pain, so your quick mind got on it, not wanting to see his face in any more discomfort.
“Here” you said, shuffling your back into him while pulling down your panties, setting your ass on his bulge, grinding a little to get him to hurry up. Knowing this was the only way you could take care of him.
“You sure?” he asked already putting his cock into you being needy as ever, which indeed you thought was cute in way but him stretching you out made you respond by pushing yourself even more against him, bottoming out which both of you let out some moans and curses, softly saying them as he wrapped his arms around your torso, giving you a minute before he started moving.
“S-shoyo”  you quietly gasped, holding onto the pillow as he pushed himself into you trying to close your eyes and relax, slowly but restlessly, getting deeper in you with every thrust. Leaning back into him his arm now moving around your chest, angling himself to where it felt good. 
His thrusts felt agonizingly slow, teasing almost, as he shoved his face into your shoulder, groaning how good you felt. “fuck, baby m’gonna cum.” he whined out. The pressure in his hips getting stronger with you clenching around him.
‘s’okay, hurry up and cum baby” you cooed, feeling him grow in you, wanting him to feel good, moving your hips back to catch his. “fuck-k” he finished, the warmness spreading into you, some dripping out onto your legs, slipping on the bed.
“You good now?” you giggled after some time, him finally sporting a smile instead of a frown. “thank you...” he shyly muttered out, turning you around to face him, wanting to see your pretty face.
“Can u wake me up at 3?” you asked, giving yourself another hour to get clean. Already being put back because you had to come in earlier today.
“Yeah cutie.” he said, putting it on his phone, you too worn out to do anything but stay still, now facing him while he snuggled into your chest, his head right under yours, finally getting the rest you deserved.
-Atsumu
You were a sensitive little thing, loving how rough and needy he got with you.
But sometimes you needed a break, it hurting too much leaving you sore.
But you're also a fiend for him okay?
who wouldn't be?
Jumping on him every hour of the day.
So you go and straight up, atleast try to, tell him that you want him to be easier with you.
But you were also embarrassed of it, being so needy for him, also not wanting his ego to get any higher than it was,  due to you basically you telling him you needed him everyday.
And he's like ok!! on it (¬‿¬)
-
“What wrong pretty girl, hmmm?” he asked, pulling your waist closer to him, dragging his hand on your upper thigh, fingers finding the outline of you panties under that skirt you were wearing. Him wondering why you looked so distraught just walking up to him.
“Tsumie” you said ignoring his question, bringing up your own, trying your best to get it out only for it to get caught in your throat.
“Hmm?” he responded turning all his attention on you, his gaze making you even more nervous.
“I- um... was just wondering if you could- ya know....bealittlemoregentlenexttime?” you said, muttering the last part out, hoping he understood and wouldn't inquire any further. 
He paused for a minute, taking in what you just said, glad that you were comfortable enough to express your thoughts around him, pulling you closer until his face was to your chest, looking up at you with his eyes glistening due to the reflection of the lamp in them. “Right now princess?” he smirked much softer than he usually did.
“Here baby. You're gonna come with me, and i'm gonna take good care of you...real good care of you.” he said, playful traces underlying his words, getting up from his chair while picking you up with him, hands under your thighs already causing a problem. Yes you loved dom, rough atsumu but when he was sweet and gentle, that was a whole nother story, as you could prove right now.
He gently laid you on the bed, taking all your clothes off, kissing all over you until you were wet enough, before attempting to “test” you with his fingers. To which you whined in protest, wanting him in you right now, wanting to feel his warmth inside and out of you.
He positioned himself on top of you, listening to whatever you wanted, fully settling himself inside after sometime, giving you time to adjust to him. He started moving his hips back and forth, his view of you beneath him being picture perfect, as you could say them the same before leaning down into you, muttering words of praise and affection in your ears. The only sound you responded with was moans and cries, but the look in your eyes, the look of want and need, the baseline for love, told him what he wanted to hear, but it wasn't enough.
“Thank you for putting up with me, you know i love you, huh? tell me baby.” he said not rushing you wanting you to feel at ease with him “Tell me you know i love you” he finished, desperate undertones in his words, looking at you with those big sweet eyes.
“I-i know you... love- me.” you choked out, his soft thrusts still hitting you deep, knocking on your cervix, but it felt so good; being in eachothers arms,  hitting all the right spots, his breath in your face entangling with yours, feeling more connected than ever. Before you knew it the two of you had finished more than once, now resting in eachothers arms, a 
“You feel good baby? He asked, an airy smile plastered on his face, you trying to do the same moving closer to him so he could hear you, arms still wrapped around each other.
“yeah.”
 -Kiyoomi
You loved him so much, even when he was a meanie
And he did the same, internally grateful that he was lucky enough to get someone as sweet as you.
Which is why he was making up for the argument he started earlier today.
Not meaning anything he said, just stressed and taking it out on you : ( not knowing how to apologize with words.
So he does what he knows you love, but you never ask him bc you don't want to bother him. 
You loved him touching you and vice versa, but you respected his wishes and only did it when you two were alone, even holding back in private too, not wanting to bother him.
So he gives you want you want, a physical form of an apology, another way to express his feelings. 
-
“shh..” he tenderly mumbled into your ear, the one he’d been kissing on for the past few minutes, the sloppiness of it that you loved. Your chest to his back, being completely nude with your legs spread open, one of his hands pinching your nipple while grabbing the rest of the flesh around it.
The sweat and tears adoring your face, masked in pleasure, trying your best to look up at him only to receive a kiss on the head.  
“Yoomi~”  you sofly cried, clinging on your hands back onto the fabric of his shirt, the one that he got back from his press conference in, the one that he came back in a bad mood, immediately taking it out on you.
His thumb played with your clit, two of his long fingers sliding in as well, leaving you more of a mess then you were already in, his voice accompanied, encouraging you to. He curled his fingers into you, not roughly but hard enough to make you feel it. Your other hand shakily grabbing onto the arm he was blessing you with.
You were such a sweetheart for him, an angel he thought. As soon as you walked in the room he could swear he saw a halo around your head, looking at you long enough to where he could bask in your beauty, but short enough to where you couldn't tell.
Sometimes he felt like he didn't deserve you, being such a bad boyfriend that can't attend to your “needs”, feeling like a dead weight on you. But the way you followed him around like a lost puppy, expressing your love for him in ways you knew he would like reassured him that you were the one.
“-omi” you moaned, legs now shaking, holding them in place with his arm, his fingers working faster while his hand was still cupping your breast squeezing it every once in a while.
“Come for me love.” he warmly mumbled into your ear, taking a break from kissing down your neck, his marks accompanying the glistening of your skin, being the prettiest sight in his eyes. You freezed up in his arms, finally letting go of his shirt, your head rolling back as far as it could. You ultimately getting the both of you dirty, your cum being now a puddle beneath you two, not having the energy to fret about it.
He lets you rest in his arms after your high, lightly resting his head on top of yours, giving it another kiss, gently holding you leaning into you before whispering a faint “Im sorry.”
-Bokuto
This is regular occurrence for you two
Yes, he fucks the shit out of you, but lovingly < 3
You two always express your love for each other through touch, being intimate leaves to you in a daze.
But after he wins a game and sees you in the crowd so excited, a big smile appears on his face, feeling grateful to have you in his life.
He shows you how much he appreciates you
-
“i love you....so much” he said, dragging your clothes off, eyes following you like a needy puppy, his shirt hanging on by one of his arms still in it, the rest of him naked. 
You could only giggle in response, taking off the bra yourself, seeing that he was trying his hardest too, not wanting to take any longer. “Ko, baby what about you?” you said referring to his state letting out another laugh. His hair even more messed up from taking off his hoodie faster than  you've ever seen, looking like a little kid trying to dress themselves.
“baby.” you murmur, your hands landing on the sides of his face, into your space, trying to bring him back to reality for a second. “I'm always gonna be here, always... so you can take your time” you finished, seeing he finally took your suggestion as he stood up.
He took off his shirt, now being fully naked for your eyes to admire. But before you could let your hands touch his chest he grabbed them, softly pulling you into his lap, wrapping his big arms around you while letting his head rest on your shoulder.
You got the hint and relaxed as he lined himself up with you, moving his head so that he could see before pushing himself inside trying to hold back his eagerness. “feel good?” he asked thrusting in you a little, the blush covering his cheeks as he held your body closer. 
“yeah...feels so good.” you faintly whined out. “...only you could make me feel this way” 
His big frame melted into yours as he started moving, your words being music to his ears, his slow strokes making you feel his need. You leaned your head on his shoulder too, slightly moving your hips with his, wanting to feel him even deeper.
His hands moved to your ass and the top of your back, gripping them firmly against his soft movements, letting out moans as he felt you clench around him, the soft flesh being the only thing  keeping him grounded. 
“F-fuck baby” he started before you cut him off with a “shh, you can cum.” trying your best to seem stable with the way he was fucking you, bouncing on him, hitting those seep spots over and over.
You felt him release, the wetness dripping down your thighs falling onto his, hearing a few curses and moans along with it, giving you puppy dogs eyes asking if you'd let him fuck you again, and of course you couldn't say no.
He kept you in this position for the rest of the night so he could hear all the words of affection, the praise you said he deserved, moaned into his ear. The scratch marks and bruises being the only physical trace left, reminding him of the love you two shared.
“You did great bo.” you said with a smile, sitting in his lap, eyes fluttering as you feel asleep along with him. His grip on you was still tight, kissing you on the forehead, his way of letting you know how much he loved you.
-Meian
Date night yayyyy
Anyways, he’s admiring how beautiful you are, thanking the gods for giving you to him
And he wants to show you how much he worships the ground you walk on, taking it nice and slow, as usual, but this time it would stay like that.
Even if he tries to be gentle with you its still gonna hurt for a min.
Poor baby :’ (
But its okay cause he’ll dote on you and coo in your ear of how good of a girl you are for taking him. :  )
-
“Please, meian.'' you whined, grabbing onto his chest, sweaty skin linking you two together, thighs connected to his hips. Rubbing your bare self on his length, the lace panties you had on being long gone, tossed somewhere on the floor.
He couldn't keep his eyes off of you the whole night, the outfit you had on hugging you just right, the skin peeking out every so often, his hands wondering all over you to your obvious enjoyment; and on the ride home he couldn't keep his eyes off your lips. The gloss shining bright in the streetlights, your natural pout shaping your pretty little face, so innocent, reminding him of all the times you weren't.
“shhh... its okay, I got you angel. We can take it slow, okay?” he said already reading your mind, knowing how his pretty girl thinks, holding your weight making sure you didn't slide down him too fast.
He let you do whatever you wanted to your heart's content, it was always about you, he'd always go along with what you wanted, never doing anything you didn't. You wanting to ride him out of the blue, wanting to take it at your pace. He was more than happy to provide, you usually letting him do whatever he wanted to you, its only right that he returned the favor.
“You good doll?” he groaned, only the tip being in you right now, trying to accommodate his size, even though you were wet from him jumping on you the minute you walked through the door. His hungry eyes not leaving you once, picking you up while shoving his lips on your soft ones, hands raking through your clothes, his hands pulling them off till you only had your panties on.
“Ease up baby, look... “ he stated, his grip on your hips with his big warm hands making you melt into his touch, distracting you from your end goal. “m’sorry... im trying to go faster” you let out, a few tears following while you froze in place. Your mind racing with the thoughts of this not feeling good for him, only you, instant regret flooding your train of thought.
“No, no, no angel,” he started worriedly, wanting to take care of you as he should, leaning up against the bed frame now being face to face with you. “its all about you okay? don't worry doll it feels good for me too, I'm not as impatient as i seem” he said, a slight laugh accompanying him trying to lighten the mood.
“here, lemme move all the way inside you, then you can do whatever you want alright.” he somewhat asked. You nodded, holding onto his shoulders as his hands and hips moved, slowly filling you up, now trembling in his grasp. The stretch making you whine, feeling his balls against your ass, already rutting into him letting out a few moans while he leaned back, thinking you were the most precious thing he's ever seen, a slight smirk now on his face.
“Alright angel, im all yours now.”
Tumblr media
© all content belongs to spikesbimbo. do not alter or repost .
5K notes · View notes
mangozcat · 2 years ago
Text
— autumn was here !
hey lovelies.
im not usually (this is a lie) super sappy when in regards to this app and my followers, but im here to give it a shot.
i think this app is healthier than others in the sense that you cant see peoples followers so its less of a “ill read that because this author has 1k followers” and more of a “this work is good and i like it” when its from a 10 follower author.
the point of me saying this is that i think i truly was blessed to be able to share my work on this site. people really inspired me and kept me motivated to write with their sweet comments, reblogs, and meaningful tags. most of which ive responded to just to make sure you guys know how much it means to me that you enjoyed my work as much as you did.
i think this site has truly allowed me to grow as a writer. a lot of my older works look different from my current ones and both are good in their own ways. overall, i am super thrilled to be able to wake up every morning and read these sweet messages people send me, respond to requests/tags, and see how many likes a post of mine has gotten.
i know ive been- and continue to be- very unexpected and unreliable with my updates. but through it all, people have stuck with me and ive really been grateful for all of the unending support sent my way.
my followers are some of the sweetest people i know and im so honored to be able to say i now have 500 of you. you are all blessings and i love each and every one of you dearly.
you all inspire me daily within my life without realizing it <3
i dont know if this covered anything because im speaking off the top of my head but i really hope you all understand how much i appreciate you.
to all of my specific anons — you guys own my heart. i love speaking to all of you so much!
to @nochv — my dear pumpkin. you continue to be one of my top supporters and best friends. no matter what ive gone through, youve been there, and i greatly appreciate your presence in my life. you mean so much to me!
to my requesters — thank you all for inspiring the works i create and trusting me to create a work youll enjoy. i love seeing a request pop up in my inbox and they all touch me dearly.
to my likers/rebloggers/commenters/readers — you guys are the best. each of you continue to push me to create more and more fics that really speak to me and allow me to express my skills.
to my silent readers — i love you guys. regardless of whether or not you express your feelings on my works, i still appreciate you taking the time to read through my jumbled thoughts.
to my fellow authors — you guys are amazing!! keep going. there are so many of you that followed me and ill never understand why because your works are so incredible that mine pale in comparison. thank you for supporting me and i hope this post inspires you to keep writing.
to everyone — thank you. thank you so, so much. without you guys, i wouldve given up forever ago and wouldve just been regretting it forever (with no attempts to fix it). you guys really are the foundation of this app. despite tumblrs obvious issues and the clear cracks in the system, you guys stand strong.
thank you for joining me on this journey thus far.
to many more years.
— autumn was here !
Tumblr media
7 notes · View notes
alstroemeriadissonance · 3 years ago
Note
hi! first of all, thank you so much for blessing us with sexy vyn fics 🥺 aaaah im shy for asking this but, just in case you wanna do this prompt (?) id be soo soooo grateful!
you see, i was watching the pv for secrets of the tomb and goddammit vyn is just TOO PRETTY. he aint handsome in that pv. hes goddamn BEAUTIFUL, the man's even prettier than rosa herself. and then theres marius. of course, marius—the king, the pharaoh, whatever he may be, hes def powerful.
in the pv, artem looks like hes a legal consultant or smth, and luke still working undercover, while vyn... vyn looks like hes the king's frickin favorite. relaxing here and there, in the waters, looking so damn fine in under the evening sky.
so what if marius is indeed the king/pharaoh, and vyn is his... consort? his beloved, his concubine, his lover, the list goes on. and vyn is HIS FAVORITE. spoils him here and there and treats him well, except when theyre in the sheets, of course. and marius goes home after a long day of work and sees the love of his life and they just frickin drive themselves to oblivion.
p.s. vynmarius is giving me hua cheng and xie lian vibes, if u read/watch heavens official blessing...
The beauty in his movements.
Marius x Vyn
I really want to do this request SotT style but I'm still not confident enough to pull off the setting (despite the shitton of reading I've done so far), so instead of doing an AU...
I'm writing this as if this is a sequel to Chiaroscuro (Pt 01 | Pt 02 | Pt 03)
Warning: Suggestive scenes; obsessive behavior
Why is it that whenever I try to make them kiss Marius and Vyn always turn out to be emotionally stunted fuckwads?
"You should concentrate on your assigned literature, Marius." Vyn murmured, his lips still hovering over the rim of his teacup. "Do let me know if you find reading here in my garden too distracting for you." He takes a small sip of his English breakfast before setting the teacup back onto the saucer.
Marius did not hide the fact that he was following Vyn's every movement closely. His amethyst eyes observed how Vyn's fingers held the handle; how his lips met the ceramic rim; how Vyn's eyelids lowered slightly as he sipped, as if ruminating on how the tea tasted.
Every movement, small and grand, did not escape Marius's eyes. All were captured for his future reference, for his next opus.
It just so happened that Vyn, in his eyes, was a veritable work of art, in and of himself. From the older man's exotic appearance--hair of moonlight silver and eyes of honeyed amber gold--to how he moved ever so elegantly, with nuance yet with unmistakable masculine strength when required (Marius was quite literally floored, once); his dulcet, gentle voice that could effortlessly draw blood upon command...
Needless to say, Marius was smitten over his muse.
"The garden isn't what's distracting me, Vyn," Marius said; all learned etiquette flying out the window with his elbow on the iron wrought outdoor table and chin on hand. "It's you."
Marius closed his thick, aged textbook with a thud and moved to the seat next to his private tutor. "I can't get enough of you, Vyn," he whispered. "Even the way you drink tea is totally distracting."
His hand crept up to Vyn's thigh. "God, you're just a walking work of art," Marius murmured before leaning forward for a slow kiss.
His dark bangs mingled with Vyn's silver wisps, their hands furtively seeking each other's bodies as their lips locked ever so sensuously; the very picture of what should never, ever happen in a teacher-student relationship.
When Marius surfaced from the kiss, he saw a glimpse of Vyn's face with glasses askew; his amber-gold eyes still half-closed, obscured by his long silver lashes. His tutor's lips were still ever-so-slightly puckered, glistening wet with their mixed saliva.
The beautiful sight triggered something in him, prompting Marius to roughly pull Vyn into his arms and, once again, claim his tutor's lips with his needy own.
"Mm--" Vyn groaned, his mouth filled with Marius's tongue. He tried struggling, hands now on Marius's chests trying to push himself away.
Marius eventually finally let go of him, a thin thread of saliva connecting their lips as he pulled away until it broke from tension. "Just what I needed," he said as he licked his lips.
Vyn sighed as he fished his microfiber cloth out of the pocket of his white coat. "Do be thankful that I am bumping up your grades ever so slightly, Marius, gifted student that you are," he said as he took off his eyeglasses to wipe the lenses. "But if this keeps on going and you do not show any improvement, I will have to reconsider taking you under my wing for the next semester."
"You and I very well know that my grades won't ever be a problem," Marius grinned. "You're totally out of options on getting rid of me."
"Really now." Vyn put his eyeglasses back on, and looked at Marius coolly. "Is that a challenge?"
"Not really," Marius said, truthfully. "Not even my father would be able to twist your arm if you really want to stop tutoring me, Vyn. I'm just taking away all valid reasons of you getting away from me, is all."
"Is that so. Not even the threat of reporting your sexual harassment of your private tutor?"
"That again?" Marius's lips curled into a twisted smile. "I'd gladly step into the funeral pyre for you, if you keep on insisting of bringing it up. If my suffering by way of media and public stoning gets you your jollies I'd be glad to oblige."
"Ah." Vyn pursed his lips, staring at his rather passionate student with impassive eyes.
Marius then drops all traces of mirth from his face. "You're never getting away from me, Vyn Richter," was his bold declaration, his face a mirror of Vyn's cold, detached stare. "I will make you look at me. Me, and not at my brother's shadow.
"I like you. You're my favorite person." Marius reached out to trace Vyn's lips with a fingertip. "I will get you. Just you wait."
A self-satisfied smile then bloomed across his face.
"Soon enough you will be looking for Marius. Not Giann."
Vyn remained expressionless, yet the hand reaching for his teacup slightly trembled.
"You always spelled trouble, Marius. Very well then."
===
"Delivery for Dr. Richter," a staff member called out after knocking on the door to his office.
"Come in," Vyn said as he flipped through files on the tablet connected to his workstation. "You may place the--" his voice cut off upon seeing the rather ludicrous item being hauled into his office.
"W-where should I place this, Doctor?" the staff member asked as he struggled to carry the immensely large floral arrangement that was barely contained by the vase it came in. He almost teetered underneath the weight of the entire thing.
Vyn quickly pushed himself out of his swivel chair and hurried to assist him. "Let me help," he said, his words punctuated with a soft grunt as he grabbed the other side of the behemoth of a celadon vase.
Eventually they managed to set it by a bare corner of the office. All things considered, it filled the space rather tastefully despite being a six-foot monstrosity of a floral offering to Dr. Vyn Richter: full of lilies, gladiolus, and myriad colors of roses framed by palm fronds and pampas grass.
Vyn thanked the staff member for his help as he left, throwing him a token apology for his troubles.
"No worries, Dr. Richter," he said. "Though whoever it is in PAX who's been giving you these gifts...they're relentless."
Vyn pursed his lips as he flipped the signage hanging by his door to indicate Dr. Richter is OUT, and closed the door of his office.
He took out his smartphone and put Marius on speed dial.
"Well? Did you like it?" came Marius's voice as soon as he picked up.
"What are you playing at, Marius?" Vyn asked, voice clipped, as he walked to a nondescript cabinet set nearby his desk.
He opened one of the doors to reveal a tall pile of gifts--all unopened--that Marius had sent him for the past couple of weeks. "I will be very disappointed if you actually thought a faculty member can be easily bought off by these trinkets."
"What, did you think that I merely bought them from signature brands?" Marius huffed on the other end of the line. "Vyn. You are talking to Marius von Hagen, artist."
"Which means?"
"If I have to spell it out to you, my dear object of obsession," Vyn could almost hear Marius's grin. "I designed each and every one of them. Some of them made by my own hands. You'd see if you bothered opening those gifts.
"Even the celadon vase for the flowers I just sent you. I made it myself." Marius laughed. This time Vyn could easily taste the self-satisfied smirk that was no doubt playing on his student's lips right that very moment. "Though I should say making that was goddamn difficult--I had to look for a pottery studio that both specialized in celadon AND had a large enough kiln to fit that thing in. So don't go breaking it--I don't think I can make something like that ever again."
Vyn's brow furrowed. "Marius, I admit that you had caught me in a moment of utter weakness when I visited you," he began, "But you cannot--"
"No Vyn, it's too late to say that," Marius interrupted. Then in a low voice, he whispered "I had you, I tasted you--and I will make sure I will be the only one who can have you."
Vyn did not say anything in reply.
"Well, I'll be seeing you in our next session," Marius said in his usual brusque manner of speech. "Time to babysit these old farts. Bye~"
The line cut off.
"To hell with it, Marius," Vyn muttered as he carefully brought out the pile of gifts from the cabinet and transferred them onto his desk.
He said designed these. Very well, let us see.
A slim rectangular box wrapped in teal caught his eye. Vyn methodically unwrapped the paper, wedging a fingernail underneath the strips of packaging tape to prise them off.
All tape removed, he carefully unraveled the glossy wrapping paper to reveal a rather unremarkable white box.
He lifted the lid.
A necktie. Vyn gently gathered the wine red silken strip with his fingers; the fabric was soft, yet sturdy enough as required for neckties.
At first glance it was no different from the wine red ties that he always used and owned in multiples, but when he unfolded the silken strip he could see a barely-there shadow of a large stylized fleur-de-lis woven into the fabric itself.
The design was placed asymmetrically on the wider end of the necktie, in such a way that it would be completely hidden underneath his waistcoat.
In a fit of fancy Vyn slipped into his office's washroom and slipped off the necktie he was currently wearing, replacing it with Marius's gift.
With his waistcoat on the necktie didn't look any different than what he had on previously, except for the sheen of the silk fabric.
It is not so bad. I suppose I shall keep this.
He folded his other necktie and placed it in his closet on the way back to the desk.
There were several more boxes awaiting his inspection, but Vyn decided to bring them home so he may take his time unwrapping them later.
What caught his eye at the moment was the large celadon vase of the flower arrangement Marius sent him today. Vyn crossed the length of his office to closely behold the pale grey-green glossy ceramic.
Marius said he made it himself. The vase was made with painstakingly detailed lattice cutwork. It was quite obvious that it took a lot of effort into putting everything together, setting aside the matter of applying its unique glaze.
Vyn ran a palm across the glossy lattice surface, imagining Marius working on the details with a pottery chisel, most probably with his usual jacket either draped over a chair, or tied to his waist. The already short sleeves of his shirt rolled up to reveal more of his upper arms; sweat--
Wait.
Vyn bit hard into his thumb, making use of the sharp pain as an emergency brake to immediately halt his thoughts careening to the point of no return.
I am doing it again.
===
The tutoring session this time took place in the von Hagen estate, in the study adjacent to Marius's room.
Or supposed to, as the books--old tomes from Vyn's private collection--were somehow toppled off the table, scattered all over the lush carpeted floor.
Instead of books, what Marius studied intently over the table was his tutor, laid rather haphazardly onto the smooth varnished surface.
Marius tenderly cupped Vyn's cheek with his palm, taking his sweet time devouring his tutor's with his own. Tongue sliding against tongue, heavy breaths intermingling with each other's.
"You're wearing the tie. I can't believe it," Marius breathed as he briefly surfaced from the torrid kissing. "I'm glad. I really am." He then dipped once again to resume the kiss, his free hand ever-so-carefully pulling out the necktie from under the waistcoat, letting his fingers caress the silken fabric.
"I'm fighting the urge to tug at the necktie," Marius said in between sloppy kisses. "Because you hate relinquishing control. I respect that now."
The only response he got was Vyn's arms sliding onto his back, pulling him even closer.
Humming happily, Marius completely broke off from the kiss. He removed his hands from his beloved object of obsession to prop himself up on the table with elbows planted on Vyn's either side.
"I'm tempted to go further with you, Vyn, I really am," Marius said with a half-smile.
Vyn, having caught his breath, finally spoke since Marius initiated their making out. "And what is stopping you?"
"I said I will make you look at me." Marius's smile turned a touch wistful. "I will make you seek me out. Not as a stand in for my brother, but me. Myself. And until that happens," he traced Vyn's cheekbone, jawline with a fingertip. "I will hold back."
He tenderly tilted Vyn's chin up to guide the older man's lips to his once again.
I'm winning, am I?
===
"Aaaaah. Fuckit." Marius flopped onto the plush leather sofa inside one of the private rooms reserved for VIPs.
PAX was hosting yet another charity gala, and Marius, acting CEO and by default the major sponsor of the event, had to make his usual rounds, diving headlong into the battlefield of rival businessmen, underlings with ulterior motives, and myriad doting distant relatives pushing their daughters onto him in the vain hopes of striking a marriage of alliances.
He was already operating on autopilot, yet the farcical dance of pleasantries and cloaked words wore him down mentally--he still wondered how others managed to do it and still have the time of their lives.
Marius reached for his phone and dialed Vincent. "Hey Vince--yeah. I'm just in the private lounge, but don't let anyone know yet...I need to rest." A pause. "Oh? He was looking for me? Did he say why?" Another pause. "Yeah, he's fine. Let him up here if he wants to."
After a long spell of much deserved quiet Marius fell asleep in the sofa for a few minutes, until he felt his head drop forward; he managed to catch himself before he planted face first into the carpeted floor.
Shit. I'm so tired. He glanced at his smartphone--still an hour before he was due to deliver his closing remarks that would precede the after-party event.
Feeling a headache coming on, Marius fished out the pill case from his pocket and shook out a tablet. He was about to take it dry when he heard the door swing open.
"Hello, Marius," Vyn strode through the door, donning a white-tie ensemble looking for all the world like the handsome European royalty that he actually is.
A sharp intake of breath from Marius. "Vyn. You look..."
Vyn cocked an eyebrow, prompting him to complete the sentence.
"Ravishing. Beautiful. Alluring. Should I pull out the thesaurus so I can say them all?"
"If you need a thesaurus for something so elementary, Marius, I will be very disappointed." Vyn crossed the distance between them and took a seat in the leather sofa right next to Marius.
Vyn noticed the pill in Marius's gloved hand. "Headache?"
"Mm. Yeah." Marius said. "Though I have to admit I forgot about it when you walked in." He was about to pop it dry when Vyn held his hand.
"That's a good way to keep it from taking effect immediately," Vyn muttered as he stood up to grab a bottled water from the minibar and unscrewed the cap. "Here."
"Thanks." Marius finally managed to take the pill, downing it with several gulps of water. "So what brings you here, my muse?"
Vyn seemed to ignore his student's pet name for him. "I was worried. You look like you'd fall apart after a few more marriage proposals."
Marius made a moue. "Ehh? Was it that obvious? I thought I was doing a good job hiding how much I'm this close to kicking people in the eye."
"Oh, you are, I am sure," Vyn said as he took his seat again and crossed his legs. "But nothing escapes my eye, of course. Especially when it comes to you."
His words put a grin on Marius's face. "Wait. Don't say anymore, or I'll explode with happiness."
"Heh."
"Though really, Vyn, why are you here?" Marius closed his eyes as he sank deeper into the comfortable softness of the sofa, letting himself relax a little with his preferred company. "Last time I managed to catch a glimpse of you you were having a nice time mingling with the other executives."
Vyn gave Marius a side-eye. "That counted as a nice time for you?" The displeasure was very evident on both his face and tone of voice. "If I used this affair as a practical exam on observing micro-expressions, you would have gotten a flat F. I will be so offended that I will not bother bumping up your grade."
Marius snorted. "Well if I weren't assballs deep in having to deal with shit myself I would probably do a better job observing other guests."
"I am serious, Marius. It would do you good if you paid more attention to these details."
"Mhm." Marius shrugged it off. He was already doing fine in that department, or so he believed. He was, after all, trained for it since childhood.
A period of companionable silence followed.
Vyn was the first to break it. "I am here, seeking you out."
Marius blinked. "Run that by me again, Vyn?" He knew what he heard, but he was zoning out so he needed to make sure he had heard correctly.
"I am seeking you out, Marius." Vyn bit his lip. "Do not make me repeat myself."
Ah. Shit.
A thousand angels sang hallelujahs in Marius's head. Shit. I won. I actually won. Suddenly the headache had dissipated--Marius did not care if it was due to the medicine, or the elation that Vyn had essentially raised the white flag and is now irrevocably his.
Marius immediately moved to grab Vyn's shoulders, pinning his tutor underneath him onto the plush leather. "You are mine." he said before he dipped in for a kiss, softly biting at Vyn's lower lip. "Mine." He slipped a hand behind Vyn's head, pressing his face even closer to him as he kissed him quite hungrily, sucking on his tutor's tongue.
"Mine."
Vyn softly moaned into Marius's mouth, shuddering with need--yet he knew that this was not the right time to claim his prize. Reluctantly he pulled away from the kiss to say "The program is not yet done, Marius. Not yet."
"Damn it." Marius gritted his teeth. His hard-on was apparent to both of them; it was grinding not so subtly against Vyn's thigh. "I suppose I can let Vincent handle--"
Vyn grinned, a glint of familiar cruelty back in his eyes.
Marius had to blink to register the discordance between the situation and Vyn's behavior.
Realization dawned over Marius.
Vyn deliberately chose this exact moment to confess as a final tease to him--he cannot consummate their new status as lovers until he played nice and performed his duties as PAX scion.
Duties that would take three more hours before he can be let go.
Three hours too long. And Marius is already hard.
"You fucker."
Vyn's grin only grew wider.
===
"Delivery for Dr. Richter."
The item this time was a flat, rectangular item around four feet in height. It was obvious to Vyn what it probably was--a painting, by "Z".
He waited until he was left alone in his office before he carefully unwrapped the package.
Vyn was soon thankful he did not tear the packaging; after seeing the painting he had to wrap it again properly for him to take it home.
It was a renaissance-style tempera painting of him, fully naked, save for a white cloth draped over his thighs and an arm cradling a staff tipped with white lilies.
In a humorous jab Marius even painted on a halo around Vyn's head.
And. half-hidden behind the white cloth, was a shadow of a devil's tail.
"Fuck you too, Marius."
Vyn allowed himself to laugh.
39 notes · View notes
hongism · 4 years ago
Text
under my skin - khj x jwy 18+
Tumblr media
pairing; jung wooyoung x kim hongjoong genre; pwp, smut, 18+ wc; 7.2k summary; wooyoung should never have admitted that he liked hongjoong bossing him around, and he most definitely shouldn't have done it so publicly. aka hongjoong knows how to get under his skin and god damn if he doesn't do it fucking well. warnings; explicit smut, fingering, oral sex: m, dirty talk, praise, a lil bit of degradation and humiliation if you squint a/n; hi 😳 so uh this was an impulse writing moment whoopsie but also yeah this is my first mxm work as well as my first mxm smut so yeehaw im going all out on the first one huh :’D as always feedback is appreciated esp since this is something new to me and idek if it did it well 😳
​​​​
On the list of things Wooyoung knows he definitely should not have done, openly admitting that he is both attracted to Hongjoong and enjoys it when the leader bosses him around on a Christmas live of all things is at the very top.
“He was just sitting on the couch, and I was about to go back to my room then he goes ‘Hey Wooyoung, get my meal ready’. I thought ‘this is the first time someone has treated me like this’. It was — it was attractive.”
Seonghwa’s eyes had flashed with panic the moment the words left Wooyoung’s mouth, clearly picking up on exactly what he meant behind those words. He managed to bite out a strained and awkward laugh that grated against Wooyoung’s ears for far too long. Then, if he hadn’t done enough damage, not even two minutes later was he opening his mouth to spew some further nonsense after staring holes into the side of Hongjoong’s head.
“In that instance, I was attracted to Hongjoong when he treated me badly.”
Except it was not merely that instance. It was – is – far more than that, and the coy smirk that had stretched over Hongjoong’s lips spilled the truth. That Hongjoong knew his power over Wooyoung well before he even admitted it.
That instance had indeed started it all, but Wooyoung does not know how he had spiraled with such haste and intensity. Sometimes, it isn’t even his fault. His body just reacts to something his hyung has said, and he has to force ugly thoughts to the front of his mind or grab the thing closest to him to conceal the raging boner he’s left with. Wooyoung distinctly remembers the first time it became a serious issue though.
It was during a dance practice, another one of those awfully late nights that had everyone on edge, and Wooyoung was already dizzy with exertion before Hongjoong even opened his mouth. Then Yunho and Mingi decided to start fucking around with the choreography and making funny faces at each other in the mirror. Wooyoung knew he was in for it the moment he saw Hongjoong’s normally soft and gentle features flash with a barely contained rage. Then Hongjoong reeled on the pair, eyes flashing a bit of anger as he told both boys off, before shifting back to face Wooyoung now. The younger had choked on his saliva just from the intense eye contact.
“Go reset the music, Wooyoung.”
Wooyoung’s cheeks burn with shame to think back on it now because he had most definitely squeaked out the most pathetic “yes sir” known to all mankind and scampered over to the computer to do as told. He had to shove the palm of his hand down so hard against his growing erection that it physically hurt, but it got the job done, and that’s all Wooyoung could have hoped for in the heat of the moment. If anyone noticed his dramatic reaction or thought it to be odd, they decided to spare him the embarrassment and did not mention it.
Then came the practice a few weeks later when Hongjoong was working twice as hard as usual to prepare for awards season. Everything had to be squeaky clean for all the performances. That led to Wooyoung being both blessed and cursed by the sight of a certain Kim Hongjoong in an all too tight-fitting black tee with sleeves rolled up over his shoulders and sweat dripping from his chin to the floor.
Now Hongjoong may not be the most muscular or lean among the group, but god, Wooyoung was positively salivating at even the barest glimpse of tantalizing skin under that shirt. It felt wrong and dirty to thirst after his bandmate – his leader – in such a public way. Hongjoong made things ten times worse by shifting to look Wooyoung in the eyes, brow arched dangerously high and a sharp gleam to his eye that had Wooyoung sweating more than he was before.
“Hey Wooyoung, grab me a water.”
Just simple and straight to the point. Not even a ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. Wooyoung didn’t need one. He was rushing to follow the order like a good little boy in mere seconds, and the smirk Hongjoong awarded him with nearly made him blackout on the spot. A smart little quirk to one corner of his lips, the other side staying completely still. Hongjoong looked so mean and condescending in that moment, yet Wooyoung ate it right up without even batting a lash. His cock twitched to full attention behind the confines of his grey sweatpants, then he was moving out of the practice room at breakneck speed, desperate to get to the bathroom as quickly as possible.
He had slammed the door behind him and flipped the lock with desperate fingers before stumbling towards the sink to splash his face with cold water. In the reflection of the mirror, he could see how red his face had gotten, the red hue deepened to a scarlet that was only accentuated by the sheen of sweat clinging to his skin. Embarrassing. It was so fucking embarrassing to get off to the idea of Hongjoong bossing him around and being mean to him. Wooyoung had hoped that the water would quell him enough to bring him back to the practice room without being weak enough to jerk off in the company bathroom. Those hopes were dashed when the dastardly image of Hongjoong standing across from him with that cruel smirk floated to mind.
Wooyoung slipped his leaking member out and fucked the tight ring he formed with his hand at record-breaking speed, not stopping until he painted his fingers white with hot cum. And if not for thinking to lock the door, he would have been caught in the act too, because not even ten seconds later was someone knocking and banging at the door.
“Wooyoung? You good?”
Thank fuck it had just been San and not Hongjoong himself. If it were Hongjoong, then Wooyoung is certain that he would have caved and told the man exactly what he was doing without any resistance whatsoever.
“Y-Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine! Just needed to pee! I’ll be out in a minute!”
He thought that that instance would be the worst of it.
Hongjoong proved him sorely wrong.
In fact, if anything, those instances seemed to increase in frequency. Hongjoong would corner him just to deliver a sharply-spoken order then grin as Wooyoung fervently followed the order without complaint or whining. Wooyoung would be forced to dart off to the nearest bathroom and cum into the palm of his hand to curb the raging horniness in his system. And after he was done, he would pull himself out of the bathroom with his head hung low in shame, not ever noticing the way Hongjoong stood not far off with that same smirk as always painting his pretty lips. If Wooyoung ever whispered a breathless “hyung, please” to himself while jerking off, then he would deny it with his dying breath because that would be too close to admitting how desperately he wants Hongjoong.
Such a stark contrast to how he behaves with Seonghwa, as San noted one day. Sure, Seonghwa would ask him to do things but Seonghwa would ask, accentuating his words with a ‘please’ and making sure to thank Wooyoung afterward. And Wooyoung would always whine no matter what Seonghwa would ask of him. The reason being — well, for two reasons actually. One: Seonghwa isn’t Hongjoong, and two: Wooyoung secretly (read very secretly) loves being ordered around like he’s not good for anything else.
The full admission on Vlive must have been the breaking point for both of them though. Hongjoong was trying to hide himself behind his hands as a faux sign of embarrassment, but Wooyoung could clearly see the curling smirk and hungry gleam in his eyes when he saw past those small fingers. It felt almost like Hongjoong could eat him alive on the spot, and Wooyoung would just roll over and let him.
Whatever Wooyoung had expected to happen after that fateful live left him sorely disappointed because Hongjoong did absolutely nothing. Didn’t comment on it, didn’t tease him about it, acted like it didn’t even happen. Even when Seonghwa granted him a sharp slap upside the back of the head and Yeosang muttered something about Wooyoung being into some kinky shit, Hongjoong huffed out a quiet laugh and led the way out of the room.
Was Wooyoung upset? Both yes and no. He saved himself from heaps of humiliation even though he admitted it in such a public manner, but he would be lying if he didn’t say that he was somewhat trying to egg Hongjoong on a little. All these months of teasing and playing only for him to do nothing? This had to be some sort of blue balling, at least that’s what Wooyoung whined into his pillow before Yeosang and Jongho entered the shared room behind him.
“Who’s blue balling who?”
“No one, Yeo! No one! I didn’t say that!”
Wooyoung is tipping closer and closer to his breaking point, and he knows it’s only a matter of time before he absolutely snaps. That fact is what finds him hesitating by the back of the couch a few days after the aforementioned Fateful Vlive. Hongjoong sits on the cushions, arm slung casually behind his head as always, and Wooyoung is truly trying his hardest not to drool over the sheer attractiveness the position exudes. It doesn’t help that Hongjoong has been driving Wooyoung up a wall all day with his teasing.
First, it was light touches during breakfast, ghosting fingers over his bare forearm that sent goosebumps all over his body.
“Is something wrong, Wooyoung?” Hongjoong had asked like it was the most casual thing in the world.
“No, no, hyung. Just haven’t fully woken up yet.”
That was a lie but oh well. Wooyoung has lied about worse things in his life.
Then after breakfast, Hongjoong had leveled him with a sharp stare and ordered him to pick up the dishes for Seonghwa. Wooyoung didn’t even have time to jerk off in the bathroom afterward because San and Seonghwa dragged him off to play some game before he could make a hasty escape to the bathroom.
“You called for me, hyung?” Wooyoung manages to ask without a stutter to his tone. It’s a miracle truly because when Hongjoong’s voice boomed through the hallway and found him in the bedroom, Wooyoung almost melted.
“Yeah, get me some coffee from the kitchen.”
Now, if it were Seonghwa asking him, Wooyoung would whine and complain. Say that he’s on the fucking couch which is literal steps away from the kitchen and he has two perfectly (sexy) functioning legs that could easily get him a cup of coffee himself without needing to call Wooyoung all the way from his bedroom to get it for him. It is, in fact, not Seonghwa asking him, however; it is Hongjoong, and Wooyoung will be damned if he doesn’t obey the order without even a breath of complaint.
“Sure, of course, hyung!” He chirps in response to hide the shaky smile on his lips. His legs feel like jello but he puts them to use anyway, carrying his body to the kitchen to prepare a mug of coffee just the way Hongjoong likes because of course, he knows exactly how Hongjoong likes his coffee. Once he has finished perfectly preparing the drink, Wooyoung carries it back to the couch and goes as far as to step around the armrest to deliver the mug directly into Hongjoong’s hands.
“Good boy.”
The words are unmistakable. It’s a miracle that Wooyoung pulled his hand away when he did otherwise he would have most definitely dumped piping hot coffee all over Hongjoong without being able to stop himself.
“H-Huh!?”
Hongjoong blinks up from the rim of the ceramic mug. Not an ounce of shame coats his features. Wooyoung knows that hiding behind that cup is his trademark cruel smirk, and that sends him reeling.
“I said good job. You made it just the way I like.”
Wooyoung needs whatever deity or spirit or entity out there in the universe to backhand slap him to high heaven. Hongjoong did not say good job. He said good boy, loud and clear without so much as a stutter to his tone. Wooyoung stumbles back regardless and excuses himself with a hasty mumble about needing to go to the bathroom. He can only hope that his flustered state of embarrassment mixed with tingling humiliation is not as noticeable as it feels like it is.
“I wasn’t done with you.”
Wooyoung has to bite down on his tongue to keep from whimpering at the tone of Hongjoong’s voice combined with those words. He dares to glance back at Hongjoong over his shoulder. The leader is now on his feet, mug of coffee left forgotten on the table in front of the couch, and Wooyoung can find only a single word to describe the look in the man’s eyes.
Hungry.
“Go to my room. We need to talk in private.”
Wooyoung should experience a surge of panic – any normal person would be petrified to hear those words from their leader – but the words go directly to his dick instead. He whips his head forward once more and makes the short trek to the end of the hall without once looking back to see if Hongjoong is following him. He knows the man is though, the steady shuffle of socks on the wood floor tells him that much. Wooyoung half expects Seonghwa to be inside the room when he enters, ready to defend himself and say he has no clue what’s going on, but his taller hyung is nowhere to be found. Hongjoong doesn’t let Wooyoung stay distracted or confused for long; he trails a daring hand over the expanse of Wooyoung’s shoulders, lifting off at his bicep as he steps past the younger man to get into the room. He then drops to the edge of his mattress with blazing eyes and regards Wooyoung with a full-body stare.
“Shut and lock the door.”
There is so much potential behind those words. All the months of sexual tension and teasing and practical blue balling could all be paid off right now, and Wooyoung is not about to let that opportunity slip through his fingers. He jerks into action, spinning around and slamming the door shut with more force than is necessary, and the lock clicks into place a moment later.
“Hyung—”
“It’s always hyung, isn’t it?” Hongjoong taunts, cutting Wooyoung’s thought short. Frankly, Wooyoung has no clue what he was going to say anyway so thank goodness for Hongjoong interrupting him before he made a bigger fool of himself. Hongjoong pushes himself off the bed to step closer to Wooyoung. He closes the distance between them in a matter of seconds, and Wooyoung is still too slack-jawed to react even a little bit. “With Seonghwa hyung, you are always so whiny and bratty. Can’t do anything he says when he tells you to. Always need to talk back and mock him in return. But with hyung, you are so needy. Pliant. Obedient.”
Hongjoong is not bigger than Wooyoung. Not by much at least. He is hardly taller than him, but Wooyoung has shoulders that are a tad broader, features that are a bit sharper, and a face that is just naturally more stern when all his muscles are relaxed. But in this moment? Wooyoung feels impossibly small. Like Hongjoong is meters taller than him, bigger than him, stronger than him, better than him in all ways. His leader has power and control over him. He’s able to make him do whatever he wants with a simple command, and Wooyoung could combust from the mere thought. It gives him a sick rush, one that makes him want to get on his knees and beg for Hongjoong, but he won’t dare do that unless Hongjoong asks him to.
“What is it you want from hyung, Wooyoung?” Hongjoong catches a finger on the underside of his chin, lifting his head just enough so that he can look the other man in the eye. Wooyoung forgets every word in existence as he meets Hongjoong’s burning gaze. His jaw stutters, he blinks dumbly at the brunette, and nothing comes out of him. Hongjoong twists his finger into two now, squeezing down on either side of Wooyoung’s chin until the impact burns a little. “I asked you a question.”
“Y-You,” Wooyoung breathes out shakily. “I just — I want you.”
“That doesn’t sound quite right, darling.” The words catch Wooyoung a bit off-guard at first, and the use of the small pet name has his gut blossoming with too much warmth to be normal. Hongjoong tugs him closer just to drape his pretty lips over the curve of Wooyoung’s ear. Hot breath sends shivers down his spine, and Wooyoung does his best to keep his knees from buckling when Hongjoong speaks again. “That doesn’t sound like the begging I hear coming from the bathroom so often these days.”
Wooyoung’s cheeks are alight with both embarrassment and shame. Hongjoong heard him. Heard him jerking off quietly in the bathroom after every single time he taunted the younger man. Heard his desperate pleas and wishes that it were his hyung touching him and not the warmth of his own shameful hand. Hongjoong pulls back to look him in the eye again, but this time it feels ten times more intimate and inviting.
“Try again, baby. And this time, tell me a safe word so I know when to stop.”
Oh, Wooyoung is fucked, and he’s fucked in more ways than one, that’s for certain.
“I, uh, red. Yeah, red. Red for stop, green for go,” he rambles while blinking like a madman. Hongjoong huffs out a dry laugh.
“That’s step one,” he says, tone as even and steady as ever. “Now tell me what it is you want from me, Wooyoung?”
Wooyoung truly wishes he could put up more of a fight. He wants to complain or whine or be even a little bit of a brat in response rather than just caving without pressure. Yet here stands Hongjoong, maintaining that iron-tight hold over him without the slightest bit of effort and forcing Wooyoung into complete and utter submission with a simple command.
“W-Want hyung to – to kiss me and tell me that I’m his good boy. Want him to stuff my mouth full of cock and fingers until I can’t speak be-because I talk too much. And for him to order me around l-like it’s the only thing I’m good for. T-Talk down to me and – and humiliate me because it feels good when hyung taunts me. I… I r-really want hyung to fuck me open and use me until he’s filled me to the brim with cum.” Hongjoong’s pupils are dangerously large, so blown out with lust and desire that Wooyoung feels himself slipping deeper and deeper into their embrace. Even though the words came from his lips and he spoke them into existence, it feels as though Hongjoong reached down his throat and pulled them out himself. It has to be that because otherwise, Wooyoung would not have the confidence to be so bold about his desires.
“Look at you,” Hongjoong sneers. His tone turns mocking in the blink of an eye, and it causes Wooyoung so much whiplash that his head actually spins even though he hasn’t moved an inch. Hongjoong’s free hand snakes downward, finding the jutted bone of Wooyoung’s hip and brushing over it in a taunting way. The leader caresses the soft band of his underwear, then suddenly Wooyoung is positively choking because the man cups the prominent bulge of his erection and gives a teasing squeeze. “So hard just from following orders? Are you so pathetic and desperate to be a good little boy that you would do this for anyone? Or is it only hyung?”
“J-Just hyung,” Wooyoung squeaks out, pressing his thighs together to alleviate some of the growing pressure in his underwear. That answer isn’t enough to satisfy Hongjoong though, and he tugs a bit harder at the younger’s chin.
“Which one? Last I checked, you had more than one hyung.”
“You! You, hyung. Hongjoong hyung.”
“Good boy,” comes the taunting coo from Hongjoong’s lips. Wooyoung really does whimper this time, lower lip jutting out as he releases the shaky sound, and he practically falls in on himself. He probably would too if Hongjoong weren’t holding him so tightly. “If I had known that would have such a strong effect over you, I would’ve said it much sooner.”
There’s a certain insinuation to his words, one that tells Wooyoung that Hongjoong has been purposefully riling him up for a long while now. Hongjoong drops his chin and lets his hand fall away from the other’s cock. Wooyoung misses the pressure immediately, reaching down to replace the hand with one of his own, but Hongjoong slaps the back of his wrist harshly.
“Don’t you want to be good?”
“Y-Yes, sir!” That little word slips out against his will. Hongjoong’s eyes go wide for half a second before settling back into their steady, hungry stare. When he smiles this time, it is a full and blinding gesture that has Wooyoung’s stomach doing little somersaults. That must be the boiling point for Hongjoong’s desire though; next thing Wooyoung knows, Hongjoong has a hand clasped tight around the back of his neck and the man is yanking him forward until their lips collide in a mess of teeth and saliva. It feels positively filthy, but Wooyoung takes it in stride. He lets a surprised moan slip through, and Hongjoong swallows the sound with his mouth, tongue not wasting any time in dancing over Wooyoung’s lip. The younger grants him access to his waiting mouth. His jaw falls slack and his tongue would probably loll out if Hongjoong were not pressing so fervently against him at the moment.
Wooyoung truly is fully pliant before Hongjoong, and he can’t even get his arms to function enough to wrap around the older. So he just stands there, applying an ample amount of pressure to Hongjoong’s lips when the other isn’t fucking his tongue into his mouth, and waits until Hongjoong pulls back to breathe. As it turns out, he doesn’t get much time to catch his breath because his hyung’s mouth and hands are back on him moments later.
Cold hands brush at the skin near Wooyoung’s hips, slipping under the fabric of his shirt to gain more access. Hongjoong mouths his way down to Wooyoung’s jaw where he nips and sucks gently at the skin. It’s not enough to leave a mark, but something tells Wooyoung that the marking will come later. The older hoists his shirt up, tugging and pulling until it’s over Wooyoung’s head and tossed off to the side. Seonghwa will most likely complain later. Although if this is going the direction Wooyoung thinks it is, Seonghwa will have many other things to complain about so he doesn’t dwell on it much.
Besides, Hongjoong’s hands are far too distracting for that, currently tracing soft patterns over the expanse of Wooyoung’s exposed skin until dipping lower to grab both his sweatpants and underwear in one go. Wooyoung helps him tug the material down and bends a bit at the waist to fully discard the garments. He finally processes how he is now fully nude and Hongjoong has not taken even an ounce of clothing off, and when that sinks in, embarrassment burns at his skin. He withdraws his hands to his body, curling tight around his waist in a desperate attempt to cover himself up. Hongjoong is still attached to his jaw by the lips, but he can feel the movements between their bodies enough to know what is going on.
Fingers latch around Wooyoung’s forearms.
“Sweet angel, you have no need to cover up around me,” Hongjoong murmurs against his skin. His hot breath meeting the cool trail of saliva over Wooyoung’s jaw causes goosebumps to rush over his body, along with the sudden lack of clothes to keep him even a tiny bit warm. “Let me show you how pretty you are.”
Hongjoong pulls off his neck with a wet pop and steps an arm’s width away. He makes a full show out of the way he strips himself. Splayed fingers drag down his sides before catching on the hem of his shirt. Inch by inch, he exposes more supple skin, lean muscles straining and working under the movements, and when he tugs his shirt loose at last, Wooyoung ogles the way the tendons in his neck bulge a bit. He doesn’t get a chance to breathe though because Hongjoong fumbles with the buckle of his belt and tugs the leather loose. He doesn’t toss it off to join their shirts off to the side; rather, he throws it onto the bed, eyes holding something that leaves Wooyoung with the sweet taste of anticipation. Although that might just be the taste of Hongjoong on his tongue because he is still dizzy from the short kiss. He continues to stand as still as a statue as Hongjoong tugs his pants down, thumbs hooked around the band of his underwear too. Slowly but surely, the man exposes himself to Wooyoung, and the younger would be lying if he said his eyes didn’t go straight to Hongjoong’s cock.
It’s a bit shameful to admit, but Wooyoung has spent many times in those frequent bathroom trips fantasizing about what Hongjoong might look like underneath all those clothes. Seeing each other nude is something that happens often; however, Hongjoong always makes a habit of taking showers last or coming home so late that no one can see him. Wooyoung initially thought that it was an, for lack of a better term, insecurity about size deficit but looking at him like this now, Wooyoung can clearly see that that is not the case.
He’s a bit thicker than Wooyoung, not so much longer, but definitely holding more girth and curve to his member. A lump rises in Wooyoung’s throat at the thought of finally having the man in his mouth among other places. He has to clamp his teeth down on his lip to keep from openly drooling over the sight of Hongjoong’s body. The bit of solidarity in being fully nude helps Wooyoung’s confidence quite a bit, but it’s Hongjoong’s next comment that sends him spiraling.
“I wonder how pretty my little Wooyoung would look on his knees for me, hm?” His little Wooyoung. Yeah, Seonghwa is gonna have to cart Wooyoung’s dead body out of this bedroom once this is all said and done, because he is close to a heart attack as it is and Hongjoong has hardly done anything. Hongjoong picks up on the way Wooyoung’s breath hitches at those words and lets that dangerous smirk slip through before turning back to his bed. He moves to it without hesitation, and Wooyoung just watches on without daring to move before he is told to, eyes wide with curiosity as Hongjoong pulls a pillow off the bed and drops it to the floor. In the same motion, Hongjoong props himself on the edge of the mattress and nods his head towards the pillow. Wooyoung’s brain doesn’t process the action quick enough because he stands there with a dumbfounded expression on his face for far too long before it sinks in that oh Hongjoong wants him to kneel between his legs on a pillow.
He moves towards the bed on shaky legs, all but collapsing on the pillow once he reaches it, and Hongjoong greets him by dropping a hand to his hair and carding his fingers through the dark locks there. His hair has grown a bit, just enough to have his bangs fall into his eyes whenever the hair isn’t tucked back. Hongjoong tucks a few of the stray locks behind his ear before reaching lower to cup Wooyoung’s chin in the palm of his hand.
“Do you want another command, baby boy?” Now that has Wooyoung’s gut turning every which way, and he nearly squirms where he sits because goddammit there is not enough pressure on his cock and he is nearing desperation.
“Y-Yes, hyung.”
“Then suck me off, yeah? I bet you’d look so pretty all wrecked and fucked out with a cock between your lips.” Those words are oh so sinful and go directly to Wooyoung’s gut, knocking the air out of him with ease. Hongjoong doesn’t stop there though. He curls his fingers up to press against Wooyoung’s lower lip where he teases and tugs at the skin until it’s swollen. Wooyoung drops his jaw to let those same fingers push down hard against his tongue, and he almost gags at the sensation, but fuck, it’s so worth it. Hongjoong’s fingers are heavy on his tongue, a steady and tantalizing weight that begs what is to come with his member. Wooyoung can’t resist the urge to swirl his tongue between the digits and takes them a bit deeper. He sucks softly at Hongjoong’s skin all while blinking up at the man, his leader, his hyung with wide and shining eyes.
When Wooyoung locks gazes with him, he could cry on the spot because that little half-hearted smirk is back on his lips, and this is exactly what Wooyoung fantasized about in these past weeks. Being leveled only with that stare, forced into submission with mere words — Wooyoung is truly living the dream.
Hongjoong retracts his hand, pulling his fingers loose of Wooyoung’s lips too soon for the latter’s liking, but he doesn’t have room or time to complain. A hand threads through the hair at the back of his neck and drags him forward until Wooyoung is met by Hongjoong’s fully erect member. The unspoken command is there but still Wooyoung waits until he gets the verbal one, so desperate to be told what to do in that condescending tone Hongjoong holds.
“Well, go on. It’s all you’re good for, isn’t it?” Wooyoung’s cheeks could not possibly flush any darker, but if Hongjoong keeps this up, he might just find a way. The burning sting in the corners of his eyes is practically euphoric, the taste of humiliation on his tongue as he leans forward to give a single, testing lick to the head of Hongjoong’s cock, and Wooyoung is the one to moan when he closes his lips around Hongjoong. The older simply lets his head fall back, hand still tangled in Wooyoung’s hair as he begins to sink deeper on his cock.
Hongjoong tastes of sweat, a stark saltiness on his tongue as he gets about halfway down his member, but Wooyoung’s brain is so high on arousal that he also tastes somewhat sweet. Wooyoung can’t get enough of it. He drags the flat of his tongue over the underside of Hongjoong’s member, feeling for each vein and ridge along his shaft as though trying to memorize the feel. Hongjoong grips Wooyoung’s hair a little tighter. His nails scrape over the younger’s scalp, and a distinctly pleasant burn throbs in that same spot. The idea of Hongjoong’s dainty, painted nails dragging over his skin is too much for his imagination, and Wooyoung reaches a hand up to grasp the base of Hongjoong’s cock before sinking as far down on him as he can go. He chokes around him there, throat pulsing at the sensation of the tip pushing deeper, and Hongjoong releases a loud groan. The sound sends a surge of confidence through Wooyoung along with the knowledge that he drew that noise out of Hongjoong, he made him feel good, he did a good job. He whines weakly around Hongjoong, sucking in as much air through his nose as he can, then he returns to bobbing his head along the length of him.
“Fuck, look at you. Somehow still so noisy even with a cock to keep you busy,” Hongjoong mumbles, biting back another groan. Wooyoung squirms thanks to the words and sneaks a hand down to palm at his weeping cock. “I didn’t tell you to do that.” Hongjoong spats the words with such vehemence that a bit of spit slips from his lip and catches on Wooyoung’s hair. If he didn’t jerk his hand away from his cock, Wooyoung might have cum right then and there because of how damn hot the action is.
Hongjoong tugs hard at the younger’s hair and pulls him off his cock, leaving only a thin strand of saliva to connect Wooyoung to his member. The sight is as intoxicating for Hongjoong as it is for Wooyoung because the older hisses between his teeth then descends to plant a kiss directly over Wooyoung’s lips. He kisses back with a hunger and fervor that begs for more, begs for Hongjoong to do more, and it seems that that is exactly what the elder has in mind because he hoists Wooyoung up enough to trade places with him on the bed.
Wooyoung finds himself splayed out on the bed with Hongjoong looming over him, hair fallen forward to shroud his forehead and eyebrows, and he can safely say that his hyung looks positively menacing in the best way possible. Hongjoong presses a single gentle kiss to the tip of Wooyoung’s nose – an action that has his heart constricting painfully in his chest before Hongjoong drags his lips down the curve of his cheek. He mouths at the sharp edge of the younger’s jaw, letting out a quiet exhale that has Wooyoung shivering. He dares to be bold enough to bring a hand to the older’s hair as Hongjoong reaches the curve of his neck and bites at the skin there.
“F-Fuck, Hong — hyung,” Wooyoung whimpers, hips bucking up to meet nothing but air. Hongjoong presses the heel of his hand down hard against Wooyoung’s hip and keeps him pinned to the bed with that simple touch. The way Wooyoung unravels under him is nothing short of beautiful and mesmerizing, the perfect catastrophe to watch unfold piece by piece until he is writhing and begging with his body for more. The younger doesn’t even see Hongjoong move his arm, but when he sits back, he holds a small bottle of lube in his hand, lid popping open to squirt the clear liquid over two fingers.
“Color?”
“Green,” Wooyoung exhales quickly. “So fucking green, hyung, please just hurry up.” Hongjoong arches a brow then clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
“You waited weeks for me to corner you like this. I think you can wait a little bit longer.”
“If you recall, I was jerking off in the bathroom begging for you to fuck me senseless every other day, so no. I don’t think I can wait any longer,” Wooyoung huffs out in response, resituating a bit on the bed so Hongjoong can spread him open properly. The other man bends over him with teeth flashing as he grins. He catches Wooyoung’s lobe between those same teeth and nips at the skin until Wooyoung moans loudly.
“Next time you try to do that I’ll be sure to follow you. And maybe make you scream a bit for good measure. You’d do that for hyung, wouldn’t you?” Hongjoong sinfully enunciates the word, and it affects Wooyoung so much that his vision goes spotty for a few seconds.
Fuck, Wooyoung is not going to survive. His heart is gonna give out before he can even get fucked. Hongjoong chuckles under his breath as he gauges the younger’s reaction. His lubed fingers slip between Wooyoung’s legs and trail lower until he brushes over his puckered hole. He starts with just one finger, pushing into Wooyoung so slowly that the younger thinks he’s gonna die of old age by the time Hongjoong finally settles the digit inside him. He squirms a little under the man’s weight.
“I’m not gonna break, hyung. You can go harder than that.”
“And I will. Be patient.” Wooyoung lets his body go slack at the sound of that; it’s a half-hearted command at best but still a command nonetheless, and it continues to have the same dastardly effect over him as always. Hongjoong continues to wiggle his finger around bit by bit until he deems Wooyoung comfortable enough for another, and the next stretch is so pleasant that Wooyoung’s lashes flutter as he pushes a second finger in.
“Hyung,” he whispers, tone so breathless that it almost sounds like just a sigh and nothing else. Hongjoong lifts his chin to look the younger in the eye.
“Hm? What it is my baby wants?” There Hongjoong goes again with that little possessive word that has Wooyoung melting under him.
“Want – want you to kiss me please.”
Hongjoong answers by dropping his lips atop Wooyoung’s, starting out with a barely-there pressure that only grows in force as he starts to fuck his fingers in and out of Wooyoung. The younger can only gasp and moan into the kiss. He forgets what it means to be quiet as the pleasure takes over, too lost in the sensation of Hongjoong’s lips and body and everything. They’ll surely get an earful later, but Wooyoung is not about to let them take this away from him so he is going to be as loud as possible while he can.
A third finger finds its way into Wooyoung. It draws an even louder moan from his lips, the pads of Hongjoong’s fingers brushing just shy of that elusive spot where he wants to be touched so badly.
“P-Please, please fuck me, hyung. I can’t – I can’t wait any longer, I just n-need you in me now.”
Apparently, Wooyoung should have led with that because Hongjoong almost growls and pulls his fingers out of Wooyoung, snatching up the lube again and squirting more onto his palm. He jerks hastily at his cock and warms the liquid on his member before guiding himself to Wooyoung’s eagerly awaiting hole. When Hongjoong at last starts pushing into Wooyoung, the younger sees stars in his vision and his brain empties of all coherent thought. It is everything that he could have dreamed of and better, for fuck’s sake, it’s the best feeling Wooyoung has ever felt in his life and he might cum after just a single thrust of Hongjoong’s hips.
He manages – by sheer miracle for certain – to last a bit longer than that. Hongjoong starts slow, rocking his hips gently against the backs of Wooyoung’s thighs. In time though, the pace grows until it’s hasty and absolutely brutal. Wooyoung can barely catch his breath long enough to moan between thrusts with the speed Hongjoong keeps up. Skin slaps hard against skin and leaves the lewd sound to resonate alongside Wooyoung’s high-pitched moans and Hongjoong’s much softer grunts.
Words continue to tumble from Wooyoung’s lips in the height of his pleasure, but it’s just nonsensical ramblings that range from “more, more, fucking more” to “yes, hyung, there, right there”. He grips desperately at the sheets under his body in a desperate attempt to ground himself from the dizzying amount of euphoria running through his veins. Every nerve in his body is alight with all sorts of sensations, and despite still not having cum once, Wooyoung truly feels like he’s being overstimulated to absolute filth.
He doesn’t even feel it when he actually does reach his high – cock twitching and spurting hot ropes of cum over his stomach completely untouched by either himself or Hongjoong. It’s almost embarrassing how easily Hongjoong made him orgasm; Wooyoung brings his hands up to cover his reddened face in the humiliation of the action. A choked and dry sob rips through his parched throat, cock weeping uselessly against the vee of his abdomen.
“F-Fucking hell, you’re so beautiful,” Hongjoong grunts through his thrusts. Wooyoung’s body reacts on its own, preening at the sound of the praise despite his neverending embarrassment. That sends Hongjoong over the edge right then and there. His hips stutter in their quick thrusts, then he’s pressing flush against Wooyoung and cumming hard in him. His elbows buckle, causing him to topple on top of Wooyoung’s chest and smear the semen painting his stomach and chest. It doesn’t seem to bother the man one bit though as he just lifts his chin and drapes his lips over Wooyoung’s like the softest and warmest blanket on a cold day.
They stay like that for too long probably, just kissing and nipping at each other’s lips in the laziest manner, and Wooyoung doesn’t even mind when the cum between them starts to grow sticky. He releases a content sigh as Hongjoong slips his lips back down to the underside of his jaw – apparently his favorite place to kiss given how much he’s done so already – and dares to speak.
“Good talk, hyung,” he rasps out, throat burning from the mere effort of the words.
“The fact that you had the balls to say something while we were live but not the first hundred times I cornered you,” Hongjoong grumbles against his skin, and Wooyoung huffs out a weak laugh.
“You could’ve interrupted my, erm, bathroom trips at any time.” Wooyoung smiles a bit to himself and draws a hand up to comb through Hongjoong’s sweat-slick hair.
“Next time I will.”
“N-Next time?”
“I can think of many other ways I’d like to have you, and many other things I’d like to do to you. If you’ll let me, that is.”
“Yep! Yes, yeah, you got it, sign me up, I am on board. Don’t even need to convince me,” Wooyoung rambles, cheeks flushing dark again at the insinuation in Hongjoong’s words.
“Good. Now, let’s get cleaned up before Seonghwa gets back.”
“Where’d you send him off to anyways?”
“I just told him we were gonna talk and he disappeared.” Hongjoong shrugs as he pulls his body free of Wooyoung’s and climbs to his feet, albeit on shaky legs. The younger tilts his head to the side with a bit of confusion gracing his features.
“That’s all it took?”
“Well, I told him I would be doing a majority of the talking and it would include my mouth doing positively sinful things to your body, but… we had a change of plans, didn’t we?” Hongjoong glances down at Wooyoung, passing a teasing wink his way, and for the last time (at least Wooyoung hopes it is the last time otherwise he really will pass out) his lips curl into that signature smirk.
“We can make up for it in the shower.”
...
this work belongs to calypso, hongism. all rights reserved, 2020. do not translate, copy, or repost.
380 notes · View notes
mandoalorian · 3 years ago
Text
one year celebration
one year ago today i made this blog and posted my first ever one-shot. (it was an out of pocket angst-y headcanon that i had about din dying in battle, you can read it here). i didn’t realise then, but that was truly the start of my writing journey and i just wanted to say thank you for all of your support.
tumblr became my comfort— a safe place for me, and i’ve met so many amazing people on here. joining this platform and having an outlet to write whatever i want has been so therapeutic to me and when i see how far my little blog has come over the past year, it fills me with such a blessed and grateful feeling.
i even think tumblr has made me a better person. it’s helped me learn a lot about myself, it’s helped me grow, and it’s encouraged me to become more socially-aware. the past year hasn’t been particularly easy but talking to all of you and sharing my works has made it so much better.
ick that’s all the soft mushy stuff over.. anyways. you know me, and how much i love celebrations! SO, i’m gonna be writing some “5 sentence ficlets” for you all!
basically you send me a prompt or headcanon you have about any pedro character. it can be nsfw! and i will write a 5 sentence (approx 100 words) drabble about your headcanon! it can be anything you want! just send them via my ask inbox and i’ll start to work on it <3
also if i love your prompt so much, im totally at liberty to write more than 5 sentences ;)
okay yes thank you all again i love you so much :,)
32 notes · View notes
forsakenoathkeeper · 4 years ago
Text
I Am Alive (chapter 8/?)
Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content
Please support me on AO3 & thanks for reading ♥
Tumblr media
"Looks like we're gonna have to bring the plastic detective," Gavin said sourly, removing his phone from his ear.
Connor had been looking through hours and hours of security camera footage all morning. Somehow, he still managed to hear Gavin insult him from across the room.
Seeing as he didn't need to sleep, Connor was one of the first detectives to arrive in the morning, almost every morning. Detective Reed rarely failed to come in shortly after him. Judging by the dark lines in the skin beneath his eyes and redness in his sclera, Connor assumed he suffered from insomnia.
"Just sittin' there, doin' nothing?" Gavin asked, suddenly standing by Connor's desk. He crossed his arms, looking down at the android with contempt.
Connor had been staring at a blank computer screen, finding it much faster and easier to just use his internal interface than the computer. He also operated at much faster speeds than desktops.
He was aware of how comical it appeared, sitting there and looking at nothing; but, most were aware of his internal processes and didn't bother him about the strangeness of his behavior.
Connor had found footage of Robert pulling himself out of the harbor, the time stamp suggesting it was a few hours after their encounter. He had not managed to catch any more footage of him since. He also was on the lookout for the assailants that had attacked androids at the protests yesterday. Unsurprisingly, they were also laying low.
It was a massive city and there was a lot of ground to cover.
"I am going through security camera footage," Connor answered plainly, looking up at Gavin from his seat.
"Ahuh," Gavin replied, clearly not giving a damn. "Got a crime scene with a dead android. Heading over now. Don't fucking keep me waiting."
Connor didn't bother asking for any info, knowing full well he wouldn't get any. As Gavin walked away, Connor checked the case logs in the police database. Luckily, it was already there. The first responding officers had documented it fairly well.
Twenty-one minutes ago, officers responded to a 911 call that an armed assailant had broken into a small manufacturing plant on the north side of the city. The facility created specialized computer chips. They were most commonly used for android motherboards; however, they were also used in some security monitoring systems.
At a quick glance, Connor could see all the victims were androids. They were employees for the morning shift. When he searched the company's records, he could see they had hired the androids as proper employees a few months ago.
One android was dead and three others had been injured. There was one human involved, another employee and a witness, unharmed.
An important report was missing. Despite the fact that three androids had been attacked, no emergency medical services had been called to the scene. Unfortunately, it wasn't entirely surprising. There weren't clear medical services for androids. Not yet.
The clinic you worked at was outsourced from one of the big contributors to Cyberlife's stocks. It was, essentially, the company's way of carefully moving their funds from Cyberlife production to healthcare for androids. Eventually, it was going to start paying for itself, and it served as a great way to protect their public image.
The police needed medical services to document the case, sure; but, Connor was also bothered by the injustice here. Fowler wasn't in yet to approve of his idea. So, the android decided to make the call himself.
...
...
...
Connor was already gone by the time you woke up.
Funny enough, he still managed to wake you up.
You hummed groggily into the phone, not bothering to check who it was before answering.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think you would still be asleep," Connor's voice said politely on the other end.
You yawned into the phone. "Hm? Oh, Connor... You beat my alarm by, like, five minutes. Don't worry about it," you replied hoarsely, rolling onto your other side.
"There's been an incident," Connor began, suddenly sounding quite serious. His tone was enough to wake you up.
"Some androids were injured; but, no paramedics were called for... obvious reasons." Connor didn't sound mad, bless his heart. But, you could sense some frustration. "Would you mind accompanying me on this? I must warn you, it will lead to involvement in this case: paperwork, and likely testimonies."
"Yeah, of course, Connor," you said into the phone, rolling back over to swing your legs over the edge of the bed. "Text me the address?"
"Will do. I haven't arrived yet. I'll meet you there. I'm sorry, there's no food. I haven't had the time to go to the store for-..."
Connor trailed off when he heard you laughing quietly in the background.
"I'm sorry. I was just imagining you at the grocery store," you chuckled. While you didn't mean to laugh, it was hard not to. The image you conjured in your mind was Connor looking very out of place in a grocery store. He probably would only bring home raw vegetables and bottled water.
"I know what dietary needs humans have," Connor replied, almost defensive.
"That's exactly what I'm afraid of," you laughed softly. "Don't worry about it. I can just pick something up along the way."
"I hadn't considered, before I asked, if this unexpected time off would be approved by your employer?" Connor asked.
"Oh, they'll have a field day with this one. No IMS called to an assault. I should be asking you if YOU are gonna get in trouble."
"We need medical reports for the case; so, it isn't entirely in my own self-interest," Connor answered in his usual, calm tone. He sounded robotic at times; but, you had grown to recognize that as his own nature. He was a dedicated detective after all. In your privacy, he wore his heart on his sleeve. But, right now, he was on the force. It was all business.
"Alright. Meet ya' there-" You stole a glance at your messages and noticed the address. "Geez, north side of town? Oh - that's a factory, isn't it?"
"AlphaBio," Connor answered simply.
Naturally, you recognized that name, having a small stash of their chips at the clinic.
"You don't think it's related to the protests?" you asked. It was less of a question and more of a suggestion.
"It is... likely," Connor replied, sounding a little hesitant to answer you.
"I guess I shouldn't be surprised... I'm'a let you go so I can get changed."
"I will see you soon - oh - and, good morning," Connor said warmly. You could practically hear the smile on his face.
You giggled, "good morning, Connor. See you soon," before hanging up.
...
...
...
Connor had failed to mention it was the crime scene for a homicide. Although, he was, specifically, a homicide detective; so, it really shouldn't have surprised you.
The first responders had separated the three damaged androids from the body and sanctioned off that part of the crime scene to everyone but the detectives.
You had been there for almost an hour and had yet to see Connor.
Two of the androids were AP700 models. They were almost exact twins, except one had blue eyes and the other had brown eyes. The third android was a BL100 model. She had her factory issued hair swapped with something short, boyish, and ebony black.
All of them had suffered defensive wounds. The detectives made it very clear you weren't to be given any insight to their testimonies. It was understandable. They wanted to verify that your findings matched their statements without preconceived notions.
Luckily, most of their wounds were superficial. The worse injury of the batch was one of the AP700's had severe nerve damage on his inner, right elbow, cutting off movement to his forearm and fingers. It was an easy fix, and he seemed grateful.
The BL100 was hesitant to let you touch her, not that you were the least bit offended or surprised. You knew what she was designed for, and she knew that you knew. It was only after she saw you handle the other two androids with respect that she felt comfortable enough to let you help her.
As you treated their damages, you documented them with a tablet one of the officers had given you. It was a little difficult, considering their documentation was designed for humans. Somehow, you managed to make it work.
You had been there for a little over two hours before you finally saw Connor. He had actually caught you off guard. You were seated at a small, fold out desk, tapping away on the DPD tablet when you saw someone suddenly approach in the corner of your eye. They set a water bottle at the edge of the desk.
Your eyes shifted to his torso first. Oh. He was wearing his nice coat today, and a matching, black tie.
"Thank you," you uttered, a small smile forming on your lips. You didn't maneuver too far from the tablet, going over your work carefully to make sure everything was properly notated. Considering it was documentation for human wounds, you had to put extra care into it.
"Hey, Robocop!" Detective Reed called out suddenly, before the android could say anything to you.
Connor knew he was talking about him, and wanted to ignore him; but, they were at a crime scene and this was important. He couldn't ignore him right now.
He shifted his eyes from you and over to the other detective. You froze up at the word 'Robocop', somehow doubting it was intended to be a word of endearment.
When Gavin saw that Connor was looking, he continued. "This computer is having issues. I figured it was your cousin or something. So, you should be able to fix it, yeah?"
All at once, blood rushed to your face and rage started to rise in you like smoke in a chimney.
Everyone in the room heard Gavin's remark: Hank, on the other side of the room, going over the case details with the first responding officers, another detective who had been dusting for prints along every entryway, a total of four police officers, and the CSI operator sitting at the desk next to Gavin.
If Connor was annoyed, he was doing a damn good job of hiding it.
The android approached the detective. "Androids are far more complicated than desktop computers," he said calmly, keeping his eyes focused on Gavin. He wasn't just calm: he was polite. "I won't be of much help, I'm afraid."
The person seated in front of the computer, a member of their computer division, looked uncomfortable enough to commit seppuku right then and there.
"Do the hand thing," Gavin suggested, lifting his hand for a moment and waving it like he was talking to a child. "You know - probe it."
"I can only probe androids," Connor answered, plainly, as if unbothered by the ridiculousness of it all.
"It's fine. I can recover the data-" the crime scene investigator tried to mediate. It was clear that Gavin wasn't listening to him.
"Ohhh - right - right," Gavin replied, drawing out his words in mock understanding. "Poor girlfriend," he added on with a chuckle.
Did he just suggest-...?
Something in you snapped. You carefully set down the tablet, pushed your chair back, and marched over to the detective.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" you called out to the detective, not caring if everyone in this god-damned room was watching.
The smug bastard turned around, eyeing you. You stepped right up to him, fearless, fire in your eyes. You could tell Connor was looking at you; but, most of your vision was being taken in by this asshole, leaving you unable to make out Connor's expression.
"Ugh - shit," Hank muttered to himself. He approached, deciding to intervene before things got ugly.
"A real cop," Gavin sneered at you. "-and you are here as a formality. Don't push your luck."
"Connor is a real cop," you practically snarled at the guy. "He deserves just as much respect as anyone else."
"That's enough," Hank said lowly, directed at both you and the detective.
The lieutenant looked around, eyes briefly scanning everyone in the room. "This isn't a high school locker room. Get back to work," he hollered. He was loud and commanding. His words didn't fall on deaf ears.
Except, you and Detective Reed were still locked in a death glare.
You wanted to punch him. You hadn't felt the desire to do that since college, when you had to share crowded hallways with smug assholes who thought they owned the world.
Somehow, you had a feeling, the detective could sense that.
"Unless you wanna get arrested for assaulting a police officer, honey, I suggest you back down," he threatened, craning his neck a little to get closer to you.
The android felt his internal temperature rise at the word 'honey'. He didn't care if Gavin called him 'plastic detective', 'robocop', or whatever else came to mind. But, that, directed at you, specifically, bothered him.
Connor could see how tense you were, staring Gavin down with the kind of burning rage he had seen in you once before, directed at himself when he attempted to prevent you from salvaging supplies from a truck in the middle of a firefighter.
He wasn't sure if you would actually hit Detective Reed; but, he couldn't take that chance. There was a high probability that Detective Reed would go through with his threat. You didn't have a criminal record, and Connor didn't want you to end up with one, especially because of him.
The android moved in and slid his arm around your waist. He pulled you into him and away from Gavin, turning his back to the detective. With his legs moving, you had no choice but to shuffle your own feet to keep up with him, practically being dragged away. You flailed awkwardly, but Connor kept you up.
"Don't," Connor requested. You glared at the detective over Connor's shoulder.
Gavin seemed pleased with that. "I would listen to your vibrator, sweetheart," he called out to you smugly, starting to step away. "Might do ya' some good!"
"You don't fucking know when to quit," Hank snarled, his hand roughly falling onto Gavin's shoulder, giving him a push away from you.
"Take your own advice, fuckhead!" you almost shouted over Connor's shoulder. "Maybe if you got laid every once in a while, you wouldn't be such a piece of s-"
"Please don't," Connor interrupted you, stepping in the way so that he took up most of your field of view.
"Connor, don't you fucking-" you hissed at him.
"He's not worth it," Connor warned, eyes narrowing slightly at you. Well, that was new. He actually looked a little angry with you.
"Like fuck he isn't. That bastard deserves to be punched in his stupid bitch-ass fa-"
"I don't want you to get in trouble," he insisted, shaking you a little.
You clenched your jaw, glaring at the android's stupid, handsome face. That bastard disrespected him. You had no doubt that it wasn't the first time, and it sure as hell wouldn't be the last.
"I like when you get angry," Connor commented with a small grin. He didn't say it, but you couldn't hear it being followed with, 'cute'. He seemed enamored in that moment, and he was, captivated by how passionate you were in his defense, even if it didn't exactly make sense to him.
"...maybe I should punch you instead," you grumbled, trying not to be completely smitten with him.
Connor removed his arm from your waist and stepped back a little, giving you space. You let go of his shoulders and fixed your scrub top, which had been bunched up a little after he grabbed you.
"Well-" you stammered, feeling a little flustered. You couldn't help it. You liked it when he was like this. Connor wanted to be protective, but he also wanted to give you freedom, and it clashed so beautifully in him.
"Y-yeah, well, he fucking had it coming and - and you should'a just let me-..." You sighed heavily. Of course he shouldn't have just let you do whatever.
But, still-
-you were frustrated.
"-you're in the doghouse, mister," you proclaimed quietly, sounding barely serious at all, and poked a finger into Connor's shoulder.
The android stared at you, perplexed.
The dog... house?
As you stepped away and returned to the desk, Connor searched the internet for the meaning of that. From his findings: it seemed to be a word primarily used between couples and meant that someone was in trouble for angering the other, and held the connotation that the one in said 'doghouse' would not be bedding with the one they had angered.
Connor fixed his tie in place of his pride.
He couldn't say he didn't understand why you would be upset with him. What he had done to you was degrading, wasn't it? He had manhandled you, in front of everyone.
He despised Detective Reed, if he was being perfectly honest. It was something he had struggled with; but, it was inevitable that he would meet people whom he simply could never get along with.
He could make sense of being disliked for being an android; he had heard many, many reasons ranging from past traumas to selfish insecurities. But, Detective Reed sought out ways to degrade him whenever the moment convenienced him.
It didn't exactly help that Connor had left him passed out in the evidence room some odd months ago. That likely left a huge dent in his ego. Of course, Connor didn't bring it up because he didn't care.
Connor had yet to hear the detective actually call him by his name. If he was being perfectly honest, 'robocop' was somehow the most flattering of the bunch.
Detective Reed seemed to enjoy relating him to every piece of computer equipment in the office. Connor knew this was to remind him that he wasn't human: he was a machine, a computer wrapped in plastic.
-and, he enjoyed emasculating Connor.
The android didn't care of the extent of Detective Reed's knowledge of his genitalia or whether or not he was capable of pleasing you sexually; but, you cared?
Maybe, while he was in the 'doghouse', he could try to make sense of it.
...
...
...
"It's almost midnight. What the hell are you still doing here, Connor?" Hank barked at him.
Connor looked up at his desk, uttering, "I could ask you the same thing, detective..."
Hank was holding his coffee mug in one hand, a folder in the other. He laughed, mumbling, "smartass", as he sat back down at his desk.
The android sighed out your name, "-said I'm in the 'doghouse'. I assumed that meant she wanted space."
Hank let out a bellowing laugh that almost startled the android. He nearly split his coffee, too. After Hank calmed his laughter and looked at him again, and caught that childish frown on Connor's face, he started laughing again.
"Trust me, son-" Hank coughed, still trying to calm his laughter. "She doesn't want space. She wants you to go home and apologize."
Connor looked at Hank like he was analyzing. He hadn't looked at Hank like that in a long time.
"I see..." he uttered, sounding quite embarrassed.
"It's about the thing Gavin said, huh?" Hank added on. "You not having a huge ego is good for you and all, but - of course she was gonna defend you because well - you know."
Hank waved his hand at Connor, not explicitly wanting to say what he was thinking.
"But," Hank continued, "you did the right thing: stopping her before she did something stupid. She knows that, which is why ya' need'ta go home and apologize anyway. Women are... like that."
Hank paused and took a sip of his coffee, hissing in response to how hot it was; however, that didn't stop him from immediately going in for another drink.
The android pondered over the lieutenant's words quickly.
"Thanks, Hank," Connor said, hastily removing himself from his desk. It was the first time he left the office without tucking his chair back in.
97 notes · View notes
svtbooyeonce · 3 years ago
Text
nct 2021 album is out!! i couldn't help but jot all my thoughts on here haha-- they're a little bit disjointed but i hope you can understand them<3
new axis: oof this shit slaps. esp yangyang's part-- i cant move on to the next song smn help. this is also the first song like i need help.
universe (let's play ball): after listening to new axis like 5 times, we've finally reached the second track! again, wtf yangyang??! i love the pre chorus and im so proud of my babies. i just love it when haechan gets to sing the end of the chorus-- like have you seen that nasty little smirk on his face at the end of the first chorus??!?
earthquake: like every nct 127 title track, i'm gonna need a couple more listens to fully process the song and my feelings towards it. i particularly like the post chorus and the pre chorus so far. okay i take everything ive said so far back-- the bridge and last chorus is :insert mark's "seize the opportunity" emote here:
ok!: the chorus is so catchy wha-- im gonna be singing this in the shower. also pop off taeyong!! also yuta?! excuse me-- sir the audacity??
birthday party: okay ngl i lowkey thought this was the sequel or follow up song to make a wish cause you blow out the candles, make a wish and then celebrate, amirite?? hendery's part has me dumbfounded. i lowkey spilled water-- uhm whatwhyhowwhichwherehuh-- the ooehoehoeho part is so good omg yk what im saying??
know now: *melts* im so happy to see all my bias and bias wreckers in one track-- this is gonna be the end of me but like let me live my 3 mins okay? the track is cute. im gonna be careful with what i say cause idk what the lyrics mean and last time i called a song really good, it was make a wish and the lyrics had me flustered asf cause i had recommended it to my 6 year old cousins. yeah...
dreaming: this is the one out of all the track videos that i was the most excited for. especially jisung's part. it was weird hearing renjun sing instead of jeno rapping lmaoo-- i was like "huh??" yeah i definitely need a couple more listens to get used to renjun singing instead of jeno rapping but other than that, i really really like it!
round & round: ooooo interesting... it's not completely my type of song but i can see myself swaying to this on a warm afternoon. how are nct's pre choruses so fucking good every single time?? also this is my favourite bridge from them ever.
miracle: wayv's english tracks neverrr disapointtt!! yangyang's "okay" slapsss and hendery's rap is elite-- omg do i have to say more? wayv never disappoints.
vroom: this track is again not my favourite but i know a few people who listen to this sorta songs so 😏 yk what i'll be doing after this 😏😏
sweet dream: this is going on my "can't sleep" playlist omg-- kun and haechan's voice are such a pretty blend of colours omgg-- jaehyun blessing us with that beautiful voice of his. ohmygod taeil and chenle are so amazing too :omg:
goodnight: this is also going on my "it's 3am and im staring at the sky" playlist. aah it feels like a warm sip of coffee on a cold day. also it feels like they chose the perfect voices for this kind of song like i know im gonna bawl like a baby listening to this at 3 am.
universe: i didnt expect myself to like this track tbh and im very pleasantly surprised. i adore the lyrics and though this isnt my favourite title track of nct, i'm grateful for it's existence.
there we go! im done listening to all the songs ! if i had to pick a few favs, it'd definitely be new axis, dreaming and goodnight
thank you for reading<33
love,
ren
3 notes · View notes