#if you literally take them out they’ll be fucking dead probably

[amberr-r]

havent posted my art in a good minute

have my objectified oc..

[wastemanjohn]

fic masterlist

wincest and daddycest. follow the smell of dead doves under the cut :)

sam/dean:

when i'm down on your knees you're how i pray Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 13,703; Warnings: Incest

Summary: It’s not as if Sam doesn’t know what makes Dean tick, after all. He can’t have forgotten all the fantasies Dean has shared with him over the years, even the really nasty, violent ones that flushed Sam's cheeks a glaring scarlet, evoked awed responses like "Jesus, Dean, you’re really into stuff like that?" Dean didn't mind - quite liked watching Sam squirm, actually - and he'd long since accepted that he’d likely never get Sam on board with acting out the more grisly tales buried deep in his spank bank. But then again, Sam is different since he...

Dean still can’t use the words “Sam” and “died” together in the same sentence.

some unholy war

Rating: Explicit; 12,328 words; Warnings: Incest, Canon-Typical Violence

Summary: Somewhere between a bar fight and the end of the world, Sam and Dean learn to take care of each other again.

exit light

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 3,730; Warnings: Incest

Summary: Tonight doesn’t smooth over all the ways their lives are in ruins, hand back all that he and Dean have lost, atone for all the things it’s driven them to. It certainly doesn’t change the fact that one year from now, Dean is going to die. 

heart of a dog

Rating: Explicit, Word Count: 2k, Warnings: Incest, Sam is 17

Summary: They were supposed to be going to the fucking laundromat. But that was almost four hours ago, and Sam can smell the musty sweat wafting through from where their clothes are still festering in the trunk. He should really have learned by now not to trust Dean, when he insists on his little bar detours on the way - just a quick one, Sammy, don’t be such a little bitch. The thing is, the chances of it being a quick one are always about as slim as Sam’s patience right now; and a quick one always evolves into half the damn bar when a pretty young thing catches Dean’s eye.

Her name is Daisy. Dean’s probably forgotten that by now. He’s definitely forgotten about Sam. 

♡♡♡♡

john/dean and sam/dean:

what it is

Rating: Explicit; 48,258 words; Warnings: Non Con Elements, Incest, Canon Typical Violence

Summary: Everything that has ever gone wrong for Sam and Dean starts and ends with John.

i don't mean to suggest that i loved you the best

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1,930; Warnings: Incest

Summary: Dean’s need is a dark pit, a bleak, bottomless thing, and that’s the pull. That’s the lure, for John. People who need the way Dean does, people who want to crawl inside the ones they love and live there forever, they’re easy to control. They’ll do anything for you. John finds that fucking irresistible.

Sam hates his father. But he understands him perfectly.

with new bones in your closet

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 4,890; Warnings: Incest, BDSM

Summary: It’s almost funny. It’s almost too predictable that Dean would do this for John, be this for John, take his submission to all too literal levels.

destructive love is all i am

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 604; Warnings: Incest

Summary: Things like this don't just go away.

love is

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2323; Warnings: Incest, Non Con

Summary: Love is all you are.

shimmer and rot

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3012, Warnings: Non Con, implied CSA

Summary: That witching hour loneliness can eat you alive.

snuff

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 4552; Warnings: Incest, Homicidal thoughts, Sam is 17

Summary: There's nothing good on TV, and Sam's contemplating killing his father again.

the world was so easily won

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3153; Warnings: Dub Con Elements, Incest, Violence

Summary: The bites are about five days old now. They’re not healing well, skin-split punctures and raised pinks and purples. Any forming scabs have chafed raw all over again under Dean’s clothes. And Sam’s running his fingers over the worst ones, almost gentle, like a doctor examining an open wound. There’s nothing at all gentle about Sam’s rage-tight mouth though. Nor his mutter of, “I’ll fucking kill him.”

♡♡♡♡

johndean

toss me a breath when you hold me down

Rating: Explicit; 1624 words; Warnings: Incest, consensual non consent

Summary: It's never been quite like this.

and if you crave it then you know that you are injured

Explicit; 3593 words; Warnings: Non Con Elements and a very nasty John

Summary: He doesn’t even flinch when John’s hand comes down on his thigh. Doesn’t pull away when John flutters his lips over the nape of his boy’s neck and whispers, “Why don’t you let me take care of you?”

when i hear your lips make a sound

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2682; Warnings: Incest

Summary: It's a damn risky thing to do, with Bobby asleep upstairs. But Dean never disobeys his father, and he’s horny as all hell. It’s not a prime combination for sensible decision making.

i heard love is blind

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 12,764; Warnings: Incest; addition of John/OMC

Summary: There are a few shadowy figures on the sidewalk, the night’s offerings left on the shelf. They're all boys, their frames slight and their legality dubious. They look up at the sight of John’s headlights, but he keeps his head forward and carries on driving. He’s seen exactly what he’s looking for just up the street.

The boy is alone. He's a cookie cutter street whore, all mesh and tight pants. John can see the ghostly entrails of his breath, the skinny arms wrapped around his chest like chains. When John winds down his window, the kid steps forward in a tired, non-urgent sort of way. His lack of pretence is appealing.

John checks him over to make doubly sure that he's the right choice. He’s tall. His hipbones jut a little, distorting his tight pants, the waistband flapping over his barely there stomach. His hair is a few shades light of brown; it's short, but chunky and uneven, like he's cut it himself without a mirror. When John peers closer, he can see that the kid's lips are full and pink. That definitely helps. He's not to John's exact specifications, especially with his completely absent bulk, but he'll do. Beggars, choosers, all that noise.

and you learn how to settle for what you get

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3,163; Warnings: Dub Con, Incest

Summary: Yet John chooses this, over and over again. John loves Dean more than he loves anything.

sharp teeth, dry heat

Rating: Explicit; Words: 2504; Warnings: Incest, grief (addition of dean/ofc)

Summary: Your world was terrifying, and John knew how hard he was to love.

someone forever warm

Rating: Explicit; Words: 4290; Warnings: Incest

Summary: He takes a moment to enjoy the thought that John has slayed the monster, now he’s come to claim his prize.

trade

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 771; Warnings: Non Con Elements

Summary: You'll hide from mirrors until the marks fade away.

nowhere boy

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2528; Archive Warnings: Incest

Summary: The true meaning of Christmas is family, and all that crap. Everyone always forgets about Jesus. Probably a good thing, Dean thinks, as he adjusts the red ribbon around his neck with its dumb little bow and checks himself out one last time in the smudged bathroom mirror. Jesus definitely wouldn’t approve of what he’s about to do.

quiet room

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1878; Archive Warnings: Non Con, Incest, BDSM

Summary: This is what love looks like.

the dark is light enough

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3219; Archive Warnings: Incest

Summary: It's hard, with the lights on. Lights on, with his boy so close John can hear his pulse; see the freckles dusting the tops of his thighs, the strip of fine hair from his belly button down to his groin; pert pink nipples on a chest that blushes from the middle out when he's excited, all these intimate details John shouldn't know; but he sits with it, he breathes it in and he lives with it. The closeness; the vulnerability; like an exposed nerve.

Yeah, it's hard, hard to face this. Who they are, what they've become. But John isn't doing it to punish himself. He's doing this for Dean.

yesterday's hymn

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1323; Warnings: Non Con; past CSA: addition of original male character

Summary: A bad man doesn't pawn his soul so his son can live.

so many moving parts

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 7302; Archive Warnings: Incest

Summary: And sure, no one’s actually said the word anniversary, but they've never had a day like this before.

when the stiff wind blows

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 8625; Warnings: Incest, BDSM

Summary: Dean is in tune with John's patterns and emotions, even some four states outside of their blast radius; and when John withdraws, Dean chases. Dean knows his absence, his distance, when John is not fucking handling it. And somewhere along the way - he learned how to help.

then leave me the bones

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 6816; Warnings: Heavy Angst, Incest, Dub Con

Summary: John’s moods are like a slow growing tumor. Easy to miss at first. Causing all kinds of problems when it's too late.

stutter

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 1655; Warnings: Incest

Summary: You know there is so much harm Dad could do in these moments, if he were so inclined. He as good as says it himself sometimes, with his quiet promises of I'd never hurt you, Dean, like a pre-emptive hail Mary for his sin.

♡♡♡♡

johndeanna:

now bleed for me

Rating: Explicit; Words: 3689; Warnings: Incest, Gunplay

Summary: John comes back unsteady, whisky on his tongue, scents of tobacco and cheap perfume clinging to the jacket Deanna loves to wear, because it’s so heavy and big on her, it smothers her like a hug. My dad, Deanna thinks, broken in all the same spots she is, yet so remote. My dad.

i've loved all i've needed, love

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 4602; Warnings: Incest

Summary: She never seemed to realize that her daddy's a piece of shit. John hates the way she found out.

this dream is for you (so pay the price)

Rating: Explicit; Words: 2,333; Warnings: Incest

Summary: So John comes to her, during that weird time that's not really morning or night, comes to her after they've finished half a bottle of Jack and a pack of Lucky Strike between them, comes to her with everything on his face that sits heavy and acidic in Deanna's heart.

all you wanna do

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 10,178; Warnings: Incest, Misogyny

Summary: For the prompt: Deanna’s boyfriend gives her a red lingerie set for Christmas that she opens in front of John (optional: Sam). After OMC is sent home with a chastisement, John makes her show them off to him. Or, Deanna has started dating and John is a fucking creep about it.

a simple motion

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2353; Warnings: Incest

Summary: But watching her - watching her is different. Watching isn't touching, and there's no law against that.

i'll be your mirror

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2551; Warnings: Incest, Misogyny

Summary: The girl in his bed isn’t quite his wife, but in the glowy relative darkness she has room to morph. 

one day like this

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 6182; Warnings: Incest, grief

Summary: Sam goes through his father's old photos.

♡♡♡♡

sam/john

coming up roses everywhere

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 14618; Warnings: Incest, Sam is 17

Summary: Where John wasn't planning to snoop around Sam's laptop, but his boy seems to be hiding something.

♡♡♡♡

john/dean and sam/john

don't say you need me when you leave and you leave again (samjohn only quietly implied)

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 8,224; Warnings: Non Con Elements; implied sexual abuse

Summary: Maybe Dad felt the kind of loneliness that ate away at your soul until you lost sight of the fact that you were even alive, maybe Dad needed to grab the nearest willing body and pull it close, close.

♡♡♡♡

dean/mary

this be the verse

Rating: Explicit; Word Count 6822; Warnings: Big Non Con warning for this one. Additional pairings: johndean

Summary: There are a lot of things that Dean doesn’t tell Mary about her husband. It’s best that John stays 27 in her head forever, like Hendrix or something, young and beautiful and fucked up in a pretty unremarkable way.

♡♡♡♡

dean/fem!Sam

when the earth moves again

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1947; Warnings: Incest, somnophilia

Summary: It was something. Something that felt good; something that some part of him was willing to give her, even if it wasn't conscious, even if it wasn't much. And hell, Sam didn't have much in life that made her feel good.

♡♡♡♡

sam/fem!dean

hunky dory

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 4917; Warnings: Incest, pregnancy resulting from incest

Summary: Deanna went out this afternoon. For hours. Didn't say where she was going; but it's got to be the first time she's left Bobby's place in weeks. She left her phone behind on the nightstand, in this way that Sam couldn't help but suspect was intentional, because there had to be something about that; had to be something in the way Deanna caught Sam's eye through the window as she was coming back, all slow down the path with Dad's jacket over her shoulders and this tight expression on her face. Something in the way Deanna had sharply changed direction at the sight of Sam, veering off until she faded into the salvage yard and Sam couldn't see her anymore. And it's not that Sam meant to be hovering near the front of the house at the exact moment of her return like a worried parent, but shit happens.

Let her be, son, Bobby had said, without looking up from his scotch and that leatherbound demonology book he'd been annotating all day. Harder you push, the more she's gonna clam up.

It bothers Sam when Bobby talks like that, like he knows Deanna better than Sam does or something. As for letting her be - well, if Bobby knows Sam at all, he's got a strange way of showing it

♡♡♡♡

john/original male character

safe in the dark (how can you see?)

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2492; Archive Warnings: Non Con Elements

Summary: Because maybe there was something about Dad's energy that fizzled with those weary neon lights; and Dad still didn't say much, and Sam still can't read the man's mind, but you don't live for eighteen years close enough to rub up against each others last nerve without learning how to spot when something might be wrong. And theres always something wrong with Dad - he's sour faced and miserable, the cause of that changes day by day - but he'd been so insistent. You don't leave this car, Sammy, okay? This guy's a loose cannon. I don't want him to see you.

Sam had snorted, and Dad had looked at him with resigned contempt; but it had faded quickly, and there'd been that something Sam couldn't put his finger on as Dad had got out of the car. Something about the way he didn't look to check Sam was obeying, something stilted in his footsteps. Something that made Sam log the path he took across the parking lot, register the room number he knocked on. The door had opened, and Dad had gone inside, but it had closed so quickly that Sam hadn't been able to see the guy. The loose cannon.

[multiheadcanons]

GO ON A WALK WITH THE MERCS

scout: scout has a daily jog soon after he wakes up and completes his morning routine. he never misses it. not a long one, by any means, just a couple laps around the base. enough to stretch his legs for the day and make the excuse “i worked out today im tired” valid in a limited sense. anyone is free to join, though scout’s jog is their run. sometimes they join him, though. soldier greatly enjoys it. even just getting to take the run for fun. if others join scout, he will slow down. not much, but enough to let others feel included.

soldier: scout’s speed impresses soldier so intensely that he has taken to doubling the amount of laps scout jogs around the base. so he’ll not only take scout’s morning jog, he’s taking an evening sprint as well. by the final lap, in the light of dusk, he is struggling. but he knows he will only get better. he just has to commit to it. but that last lap just kicks his ass every time. it probably doesn’t help that he’s always adding another lap when he’s able to complete a lap without feeling like his chest is about to implode.

pyro: pyro is not willingly running anywhere. you can go on a lovely walk in the park, or take a nice short hike with pyro. please go on hikes with pyro! they enjoy getting lost in nature! but pyro is only running if they need to run, and frankly you have them so fucked up if you think they’re going to run with you. you could propose a hearty skip, and they’ll indulge you in a skip, but if you try to shift from skipping to a run, they are slowing back down to a walk. you're not gonna trick them into a run, and frankly, with pyro, you should only run if you are actively running from something. because that lets them know that it's time to turn and fight.

demo: demo will go on a jog every once in a while, but will normally just join pyro for a hike if nobody else will. even then, demo is more of a 'walk around on a freshly paved sidewalk or the world's most packed dirt road in a perfect 68-72 degrees fahrenheit' and less of a 'death march until failure' or 'run at a full sprint for essentially any amount of time for no good reason' type of guy. but he is more than happy to go on a casual walk with you. if he has access to a camera, he'll stop to take pictures every once in a while.

heavy: look that man dead in his eyes and ask him with a straight face to go on a jog with you. he's only saying yes if he really... really likes you. and even then, he doesn't move very fast! so if you literally just want to go at a pace slightly faster than a slow walk, he is more willing to do so. do not pick up the pace and leave him behind or he will not agree to it again. also an enjoyer of hikes, but he means a real hike. where you move and don't stop until you fear you'll collapse. it puts him in a meditative state.

engineer: engineer occasionally gets the hair up his ass to go on a jog every once in a while, but he is most certainly not running for long, and he's not running often. he's built more for endurance than he is explosive energy like that. a nice, brisk jog? he can enjoy that! he can crank out a solid two miles at a consistent jogging pace. don't ask him to then crank it up to a run. that will quarter the amount of energy that he has to spare to moving his legs.

medic: the doctor is deceivingly in shape; and can easily keep up. he's done quite well with understanding his body, and knowing what he's physically capable of and what he shouldn't be attempting unless he has a gun pointed at his head. and this old dog isn't learning any new tricks. but he's happy to show you what he's got. chances are, he will probably not only outrun you, but he will outlast you in his run with little more than a sweat. and he won't say anything about it if he pushes himself this far, but he feels that shit in his knees when he stops.

sniper: sniper will go on a jog, run or walk with you if you ask him to. and he can keep up with little effort. unless you are scout, or an olympic level sprinter who exclusively runs everywhere you go, snipes has no issue keeping up with you quite well. he's got egregiously long legs, and he's no stranger to running around the rugged outback. hell, he might even take off his shoes and feel the grass on his feet if you take him on a trail. but he's happy to also just go on a walk. he is malleable, he will go until you're ready to stop.

spy: do not ask this man to go on a run with you. he will refuse. he will only run if he has a reason to run, and with the invis watch, he hardly ever has a reason to run places anymore. he's occasionally willing to join demo on one of his rare walks on freshly paved sidewalk on the perfect 68-72 degree fahrenheit day, but those are rare in the new mexico wasteland. but occasionally, he'll be up in time to watch scout, and whoever may decide to join him, take their morning jogs. it's like he's running vicariously through them. he feels the hypothetical wind on his face.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

More Nimona headcanons because these dorks have taken over my brain

I feel like Nimona tried really hard to hate Ambrosius

The first month they knew each other Nimona tried so hard to antagonize him and poke fun at him and remind him of the shit he’s done wrong 

But it’s kind of hard to hate someone who’s slow to anger and quick to forgive 

Reminding someone of their past mistakes with the intent to hurt them kind of stops being fun when the person is constantly aware of their mistakes 

And owns up to them without making excuses and is constantly trying to undo the damage their mistakes caused  

After a while, he grows on her and she starts to trust him and in return he trusts her

This one is based heavily on me and my best friends 

Nimona and Ambrosius will talk shit loudly in public 

They won’t use code names and if they don’t know the person they’ll start describing them like “Did you see that dude in the yellow shirt? He just pushed that kid out of line what a dick!”

They won't check to see if the person is out of earshot either they simply don't give a fuck

And this gives Bal so much fucking anxiety enough that he starts pleading with them to stop

You hear them going off about something and Bal saying “Ambrosius love hun sunshine I’m begging you to keep your voice down” 

“Nim Nimona starlight hi I would like to remind you that they’re still behind us and I don’t want to explain to Ambrosius why you’ve gotten into another fight this week so please stop” 

To which Nimona responds with “Tell him he’ll probably laugh”

Whenever Nimona and Ambrosius want to rant they rant to each other 

Because Bal is the type of person to give advice in the middle of a rant 

Talking some “If you explain this to them in a calm and compassionate manner I’m sure they’ll stop”

And while that's excellent advice sometimes you just want to scream your most unhinged thoughts at someone 

And they never judge each other either 

Nimona can look Ambrosius dead in the eyes and go “Have you ever gotten so angry during an argument that you’ve considered lighting their car on fire?” 

And Ambrosius won't even think about it he’ll respond immediately with a “Who hasn't?” while Bal slowly backs out of the room and silently vows to hide his car the next time they fight 

Whenever Ambrosius comes home from a stressful day at work he just walks into the house and lets out the most dramatic drawn out sigh 

And whenever Nimona hears that noise they’ll run to the living room and sit on the couch patiently waiting for their daily rant session 

Whenever Nimona gets home and wants to rant he’ll walk around until he finds Ambrosius

And if he can't find him he’ll sit by Bal and stew in his anger while he waits for him to come home 

He can't even take one step through the door without Nimona saying something like “How dare you make me wait” 

And Ambrosius will always respond with something like “Oh I’m so sorry firecracker it’ll never happen again”

And encourage them to tell him the information they’ve been patiently waiting to spill

Bal doesn’t rant unless he’s literally at the end of his rope

Like you have to royally screw him over for him to go home and rant to his family 

When he finally rants to them they don’t make a big deal out of it 

But they do however try their best to take care of him without raising his suspicions 

Nimona will conveniently make Bal’s favorite dinner 

Ambrosius will just so happen to pick up his favorite dessert on his way home (cause they both know the signs of a Bal rant and they plan accordingly) 

They listen to his rant and let him eat his favorite food in peace while they play his favorite movies 

You know real wholesome shit 

All the while they’re coming up with plans in their head to destroy this person's life

[badaziraphaletakes]

It’s not necessarily a fully bad Aziraphale take but I feel like the ‘other who can’t admit their queer’ is pointed at him

Thanks for the submission @gretinternetllama

Well, they ain't talking about Crowley 💀 LMAO

This is the most privileged, out-of-touch Aziracrow take I have ever seen. If you think the most painful queer trope is “one of them’s scared to admit they’re queer”, then fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

The most painful queer “trope”, BY DEFINITION, is “one or both of them will be violently killed if they openly acknowledge their love”. Like Aziracrow. Like Castiel. (The tragedy of that isn’t that Dean didn’t love him that way. It’s that Castiel DIED for saying he loved him, lmao. It is so insulting to Castiel to suggest that the worst thing that happened to him is not having Dean’s love.) Like the overwhelming majority of queer people throughout human history. Because THAT IS THE DEFINITIVE TRAGEDY OF THE ENTIRE QUEER EXPERIENCE.

Fuck anyone who thinks that not being willing to openly acknowledge your love for your partner because you know it can never go anywhere BECAUSE YOU’LL BOTH BE KILLED FOR IT is internalized homophobia. (I can hear the gays in Russia laughing rn.)

Having said that, though, let’s take a look at the way OP analyzes “internalized homophobia”, because there is PLENTY to be concerned about there as well.

The “can’t *even* ‘bring themselves’ to admit they’re queer” is DISGUSTING. Fuck this person’s judgmental tone. God, the more I read this the angrier I get. (If they’d written a post saying “I feel so bad that Aziraphale is losing his chance at a relationship with Crowley because of his internalized homophobia; that must be so hard”, that would be one thing. They’d still be dead wrong, lol, but at least this take wouldn’t be bigoted crap. But that’s not, remotely, what they said. There is no sympathy or understanding on offer for Aziraphale whatsoever.) NO ONE has the right to judge someone for not being ready to accept that they’re queer. It is NEVER their fault. It is ALWAYS the fault of the disgusting homophobia and queer phobia of our society at large.

And also fuck anyone who judges someone for rejecting another person’s romantic advances. It’s literally never any of our business why they do that. (This is giving me flashbacks to the 2010’s Phantom of the Opera fandom. And that is NOT A GOOD THING, lmao.) Romantic rejection, even for a depressing reason like this, is not the tragedy people seem to think. No one needs to be with any one particular person in order to be happy. This whole thing is giving “oh, the poor person whose love interest won’t date them”.

Move on and find someone who will date you. Plenty more fish in the sea.

I'd say it's actually a lot more tragic for the closeted person, who has probably missed out on a lot of other relationships for the same reason and is hurting very deeply. But again, does OP have any compassion to spare for the characters they've labeled as closeted? Nah.

(Side note: If you can’t bear to date someone who’s in the closet, DON’T DATE THEM! It’s that simple. And for the love of GOD don’t pressure them to come out or blame them for not being willing to do so.)

Also. This whole thing is giving faint vibes of the putting-your-hands-over-your-ears, “la-la-la-if-I-ignore-your-problems-they’ll-just-go-away”, “if you come out, everything will be fine and everyone will magically accept you” trope, which is offensive, harmful, privileged, dangerous bullshit. Love does not always conquer all. Love does not always make everything magically okay.

(When it comes to Aziracrow in particular, it is also VERY MUCH reminiscent of the belief that once victims leave their ab*sers, their ab*sers will leave them alone, which is the POLAR OPPOSITE of what actually happens in those situations.)

The most ridiculous part out of all of this, though, has got to be mentioning Johnlock. 🤣🤣🤣 Um, which one of those two is supposed to be flamboyantly queer, exactly? Lol that’s just sad. We have better queer representation now. Come on.

Not to mention, Sherlock and John’s relationship/friendship/situationship/whatever the fuck we were supposed to think that was, was horrendously toxic. Nothing about the way they behave to each other is “loving”. Sherlock is a terrible person (and istg if I hear ONE SINGLE PERSON try to say it’s not his fault because of “mental illness” or some ableist bullshit like that, I will come after you with an axe) and not a suitable partner for anyone unless he does some seeeerious work on himself. Even supposing John is in love with Sherlcok, he has EVERY REASON IN THE WORLD not to want to date him - and it has fuck-all to do with shame (more flashbacks to the 2010’s Phantom of the Opera fandom lol).

Also... I thought we'd all collectively agreed to move on from Sherlock because it's horrendously anti-Autistic and queerbaity and Cummerbund Bumpersnatch is a vile ableist stain upon the face of humanity whose name I will not utter? Did I miss something lol?

To the next person to demean Good Omens and the precious, beautiful relationship between Aziracrow by lumping it in with crap like 'Sherlock' - we meet at the dueling grounds at dawn.

One final thing to add: Crowley doesn’t want to “scream their love from the rooftops”????? Because he also knows they’ll be killed or worse if they do that??? Canon Crowley is a FAR better person and a far more loving partner than willfully oblivious, damn-the-torpedos fanon Crowley. I wouldn't like this show if Crowley "wanted to scream their love from the rooftops".

There’s a LOT more that should probably be said about this, but my thumbs are tired and my heart is tireder still.

[unlikeable-female-character]

I remember last year, I think in November, Hugh called in for Gus's last show on radio and at the end Gus said something like "You've been through a lot and you're coming out the other side and we're always here for you" and tbh hearing that kind of floored me at the time because people seem to forget that we don't know what someone's going through privately. And Hugh's no different, he's a person like all of us and we obviously have no clue what he's had to deal with or the struggles he's had or still has. For Gus to make that comment on air speaks volumes honestly. So it's annoying to see his own so called fans vilify him because they've decided they know everything about his life. I’ve straight up seen posts calling for bad things to happen to him because he deserves the "karma". It’s just sick. We don’t know what he’s been going through and for a time he did look very downcast and devastated. He’s looked a lot happier lately, which is good. But I wish people would consider this before passing judgements on things we have no idea about.

They’ll say the most hateful things then turn around and thirst on his pictures and say how much they want to fuck him. Rinse and repeat. Sorry for ranting but this pisses me off like I just want to stan the guy in peace and I come across the most brain dead takes on the daily.

Rant away! I would hazard a guess you are very much not on your own!

I do remember hearing Gus say that - and he’s said it again quite recently in an interview I read. I mean…if I’m going to trust anyone’s view on Hugh I’m probably going to go with the person who has known him for 50+ years over a person who developed a hyperfixation last summer weird I know!

Absolutely no one knows what happens when the camera are off and celebs are at home. They are not magical unicorns, they are just humans, as messy and fucked up as the rest of us. Money might give them access to better resources to deal with any issues they have but it doesn’t stop those issues from developing. Covid and lockdowns most definitely fucked up a lot of people’s mental health (hi 👋) and we know his father died around that time too. Grief is a motherfucker and time is not in fact a great healer (also hi 👋). Add in a relationship break down, complicated by maybe growing feelings for someone else…quite a heady cocktail of emotional trauma to try and work your way through (obviously all of that is me speculating. I have no clue and unlike some am not going to state my opinion as fact)

I’d love to know what it is in someone that they would actively wish bad things on a person who they don’t know and whose personal actions do not affect them in anyway whatsoever. I really think a lot of the time people just say this stuff online because they don’t think it has any consequences, like it somehow just floats off into the ether and that’s it. Online isn’t real and celebrities aren’t real so who is really getting hurt?

The whiplash of ‘I hate this guy I hope a piano falls on him’ to ‘hey sexy dilf let’s fuck’, often within the space of a few hours, is insane. There is literally no grey area. It’s either sheer hate or absolute lust. How do people live like that??

[tiredlilguy]

BSD|The Flags Poly HC's

come get your girl dinner, you know who you are cw: not proofread, suggestive//, a little fucked up (what do you expect though... they're mafia) notes: not adding chuuya because he was 16 at the same time they were around their 20's, reader suggested to be around their age. im just trying to cope with the recent chapter ;-;

I feel like Pianoman, Lippman, and Albatross would probably be the most provocative and louder lovers, while Iceman and Doc are kind of like “they’ll come around to me when they want to” attitude

Pianoman LOVES having you on his lap, he’s always using his “leader privilege” to be able to hold you the longest

Pianoman is handsy, but Alb is clingy… like Pianoman would be the one to try and sneak a hand to your ass, but Alb just likes hugs and holding you

Speaking of Alb, he definitely likes to steal you away all the time

Can and will just take you out of a cafe date with Lippman so then he can drive you to some random empty parking lot in the middle of nowhere just to make out with you

You have them all of a leash, and they will be there at your beck and call

Bet if you’re in trouble with something (they know very well you’re capable), doesn’t matter if it’s personal or not, they’re there

Iceman is a simp, I can definitely see him trying to be chill about your attention being on everyone else, but he’s a little jealous… he won’t say anything though

One time, Lippmann was watching Pianoman’s hand that was on your thigh as you were sitting on his lap. Pianoman eventually noticed and looked up at Lippman with a smirk and said: “ You wanna join?”

You ended up in between them that night (god, I desperately want that to be me)

You hear all the hospital drama from doc:

“ You remember […]?”

“ Yeah?”

“ Well they lost their other leg. When I tell you that I’m probably going to run out of prosthetics to put on this guy… Though, I may consider trying to Frankenstein them with a new leg. What do you think?”

Doc gifts you flowers, but he always gets the ones that are small (he thinks that they are like him, so that’s why he gets them for you), OR he’d gift you jars of severed limbs/eyes/etc

If he does surgery on you, he’s going to find some way to give you an extra organ and just not tell you about it. I guess enjoy your new third kidney babes (this is a crack hc, but I did see it from a meme)

Albatross seems like the typa guy to gift you a taxidermied animal, idk why… he gives me those vibes, like how a crow will gift you a dead mouse as thanks for saving it (Albatross is the name of a bird after all)

NO ACTUALLY, ALB DEFINITELY GIFTS ILLEGAL FISH/WHALE BONES

He’s definitely a genius at getting stuff on the black market (I mean, he can operate and fix every/any vehicle), probably had the highest bid on like an extinct whale tooth and smuggled it in to gift to you somehow

Doc and alb are fucked in the head, they just wanna show you that they love you

Anyways

Iceman seems like the type to gift you either old records, things that remind you of him, or things the reminds him of you

Lippman gifts really expensive things like designer bags or clothing

Pianoman doesn’t seem like much of a gift person, but he’d probably get you something more sentimental: like a simple (but expensive) necklace, or very romantic letters

Lippmann LOVES to spoil you: literally will take you to everything, always has you at any of his interviews (though you’re probably in disguise), or at movie/tv show shoots

Iceman definitely likes to have you to himself, he doesn’t mind the poly relationship, but if you’re with him, he doesn’t like to share

That said, if he does have you for a night, bet it’s going to be a good night (in both ways)

If you are getting shared it’s most likely pianoman + Lippmann or alb + doc

Though of course the six of you are always together, I mean hey, u got the cream of the crop of the Port Mafia all to yourself 

If you get signed a solo mission, at least one of them is either going with you or watching you on the sidelines

One time it ended up being where all of them showed up and they comedically fell out from behind a corner (the sillies)

I can imagine a scenario where you all end up going on a vacation to somewhere where there’s a beach

It was Lippmann’s idea

The end goal was to see you in swimwear- like that was the original idea… they’re horndogs

Pianoman puts his coat on you if you’re feeling cold, likes to see you put the sleeves on and see the coat sort of pool over you

Trust, if someone hurts you, that person is getting their ass demolished, beaten tf up, burned, sunk into the ground, dead as hell

They’d probably make a mess of the person who hurt you, so much so that the person is beyond recognition

Probably the one time that they let Albatross go loose (he’s probably beating the shit out of the dead body)

They do love you, they’re just a little fucked in the head

The skrunklies

[boo-trekking]

Romulan Wedding Traditions: a headcanon ramble

I’m back again with a half baked Romulan take. I think they’re weddings probably still has some similarities to the Koon-ut-kal-if-fee. Except instead of duking it out on the hot sands of a dessert planet with the champion picked by your fiancé, it’s a little more complicated.

First off Romulus is described to be “a lush, humid world abundant with vegetation and large bodies of water”

So I’m thinking swamps and jungles (a Romulan on a fan boat makes my brain go brrrrrrr), where it’s easy to hide and challenging to hunt.

So on your wedding day no matter what your fiancé will present you with a challenge and that challenge is to hunt someone that they’ve picked but you don’t know who, and you bring them back to the specifications of your fiancé. So if they want them alive, you might just tie them up, but if they want them dead you might have to bring back their head or something. A real challenge is when they say dead or alive.

And then the trick of it is that the person they choose is someone you could really want dead, but you know your fiancé wants alive, like for example the fiancé’s ex. Do you show your fiancé how brutal you are by bringing back the head of the one who may have stood in your way, or do you hog tie the son of a bitch and pout about it? Either way it sets the tone for the marriage.

Also it’s not really guaranteed that you’d bring them back alive if asked, because traditionally you are meant to kill the one your fiancée picks, but more modern sentiments have made way for change.

So if your fiancé sends you after her father and asks that he not die, you only really have to bring him back. If you’re polite, you’ll say that he slipped and drowned and you weren’t able to revive him and everyone will look the other way at the strangulation marks on his neck. Or if you really are cruel you will bring him back and shoot him dead in front of your fiancé. And either way you are getting married.

The only way to get out of a marriage is to not bring back the one the fiancé picked. So let’s say you have the entire 25 hour cycle of the day to get this person. You could decide just to camp out, or miss your shot and if you can avoid finding the person and comeback empty handed then no marriage.

Or on the fiancé’s end they could request someone too hard to get/someone that doesn’t exist. I like to think it used to be in fashion to request someone who was dead. Until some dude who was really in love with his fiancé decided to say fuck it and broke in the family crypt and carefully exhumed and carried his fiancé great grandmother to the ceremony. Everyone’s horrified and a little grossed out (because the ggma had been dead long enough for decomposition to start), but the fiancé is laughing so hard.

Because she actually did want her great grandmother there, they were very close. She didn’t want to marry this guy cause she just didn’t want to get married yet, she was nervous. But here’s this guy who is lovingly cradling her ggma in his arms. He literally brought the only person who would’ve soothed her into this. And she gladly married him, and they immediately bring the ggma back, and then the trend falls out of fashion cause ew wtf.

It’s also a big deal to be the one the fiancé picks. I would call it an honor but you could possibly die so. It’s considered a big social faux pas to refuse to be the one hunted out right but there are ways to get out of it if you feel like you might die. Some people take on an extra stint of military service (not that it’s voluntary, but maybe they’ll be taking on a tour they could’ve sat out of idk), some others claim they are trying for a child (this is really popular among single women who are suspected to be a lover to the one who hunts, real tongue and cheek shit), but sometimes the only thing that will work is to change your name.

The way picking works is you have to present the persons name. Because there is so much secrecy in Romulan culture, names are really tricky, so maybe the name given is just your common name and you decide to be a stickler and insist on the full four names in order for you to be the hunted. Or maybe you go to your family and ask to change your name there as to throw off the picker.

But it is a little awkward if the picker is your brother and you know he wants you dead so that when your father dies he will be head of the house instead of you, the oldest. And you know his fiancé would kill you even if your brother said they didn’t have to, because the fiancé is the youngest in their family and they have twelve siblings to get through before it’s their turn. So helping their fiancé become head of their family is just a smart move. Lucky for you your dad saw this years ago and already changed your family name, but waited until your brother already picked your full old name so now he has to pick someone else. He’ll pick the father out of spite, but the fiancé won’t kill him. After all, your dad used to be his commanding officer, it wouldn’t feel right.

It’s the hunted’s duty to make the hunt difficult, even if they know they’ll live at the end of it. So they’ll set traps and sneak around. I like to think that Romulan’s have houses similar to Klingons, and those houses have their own variations on the traditional ceremony. So maybe the hunted must hide in a particular place based on their house tradition, or they must throw the hunter off with a certain system.

I can imagine a house who often picks children to be hunted, that way it doubles as a test for the child’s skills. So maybe the fiancé very sweetly gives her little sister a present and asks her to be the hunted. And this 13 year old kid is absolutely STOKED to give her brother in law hell. So not only does she hide, but she starts counter hunting him. And he DIDN’T PLAN FOR THAT. So right when he’s looking at the barrel of a Romulan cross bow, beaten and bloodied by a kid who still sleeps with a night light, he’s fully accepted he’ll be the first in history to be killed and brought back. She looks at him and says something like “When you marry my sister…may I live in your house? I…don’t want to be without her.” And he says yes without hesitation because his fiancé already asked if it was okay, and he’s grown up knowing the little sister too and knows that it’s not the best for her at home (without much detail, Romulan secrets you know), and this kid just drops the crossbow and starts crying because she was really worried she was gonna lose her sister! And so he lightly bounds her hands, they make it back to the ceremony. Folks are congratulating her for giving him hell but snickering at the number this tween did to that guys face! All in all it works out, they are married and the sister moves in with them, and when it’s her turn to marry she kindly asks her niece…who has been trained from birth to return the favor.

Overall I feel that Romulans are just so complex and secretive, that a freaky (affectionate) marriage challenge feels right up their alley. They aren’t governed by logic, but by secrecy and deadly hide and seek feels right.

[im-out-of-it]

SEASON TWO WRAP UP: 2x10

incoming rant about jace, read at your own risk

this is the best scene in the whole episode. their emotions, kiss, hug, even if it’s short, it’s still beautiful

Magnus: I’m just like you madzie

Alec fighting 🔥 THAT MAN IS HOT

good enough for a DIPLOMAT but not good enough for ALEC

Alec: have I lost Magnus forever? I’ll kill jace if I lost him (he probably wouldn’t but everyone needs to stop being so soft with Jace all the time)

ALEC PICKS UP A WEAPON AND IS TEN TIMES HOTTER DO I HAVE A PROBLEM???????

Alec protecting madzie and Izzy

the worry, shock, anguish, hurt on Alec’s face when he thinks Magnus may be dead

Alec: I got this. she’s just a child

Alec: I hate you and always will

IM SORRY BUT I CANT TAKE HOW SCARED ALEC IS

look, I get that jace has a hard time not believing Valentine but jace isn’t a child. he’s at least 23 when the show starts so he’s an adult and should know better. he should know Valentine’s ways by now. Valentine is a mass murderer so of course he has an agenda and will lie. and the whole thing about the jace being demon thing that bothers me is all Valentine does is show a vision, not actually proving the child is jace. he never tries to use any of his “demon powers” and they don’t seem to come out. BECAUSE HE ISNT A FUCKING DEMON. like he believes valentine so much that he helps valentine murder hundreds of downworlders.

Magnus almost dies like he could have died and it’s partly jaces fault just like how he tells Alec to trust him and Alec for some insane reason trust jace and Magnus almost dies in valentines body. does he feel bad? no. he does not care about anyone but himself and clary 🗣️

I hardly see jace show any remorse. he looks as if he feels bad when clary tries to touch him and has a second after Maia calls him out. and then when he’s fighting Alec, he basically says I’m not worried about that. YOU ARE LITERALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HUNDREDS OF DEATHS. that’s when they should have started doing a 360 on jace and turning his shit around. like how can you not feel bad? it’s different if you truly didn’t know valentine had a plan but come on, you know him!!!!! if you really thought you had demon blood, you should still feel remorse and regret for hundreds of downworlders dying. he should’ve tried becoming better instead of putting all his shit on Alec

you can either blame others or take responsibility. stop using your trauma as an excuse to be a terrible person. stop burdening Alec with all your fucking problems. stop treating Magnus Alec Izzy like complete shit when all they do is support you. it’s astonishing how none of them rarely call jace out for his problematic behavior ITS INSANE

anyone can say “oh valentine made him do it” but I hardly saw jace go through a trial of feeling responsible. even Alec says “you couldn’t have known” but he is still responsible for those deaths. he walks around all untouchable and Maia mentions the damage he did. and then when kaelie retaliates, he looks at the downworlders as the problem and not what he did. he and the clave started this shit by lying about the sword. the clave constantly lies and expects downworlders to go with the flow. they have no rights, no freedom, no voice. shadowhunters can go out murder downworlders and it’s hardly a problem but don’t kill a shadowhunter or they’ll ignite a war

maybe I’m being extra dramatic about it but I seriously hate that jace pays zero consequences for anything and everyone coddles the hell out of him. STOP BABYING HIM. give him the cold truth. he can accept the damage he’s done and attempt to be better or he can walk around as if he’s untouchable and pay for zero consequences. and maybe people could tolerate him if he actually tried. but he’s a shit person to Alec and Izzy and acts like he’s the most greatest untouchable person to ever live.

it’s okay to have trauma and I can sympathize for the trauma but not when he doesn’t try to be better. he doesn’t put any effort in to actually treating those who care love support him with the respect they deserve. JACE WOULD BE DEAD WITHOUT ALEC IZZY AND MAGNUS. he would not exist. jace isn’t the best shadowhunter if he needs his worthless narcissistic ass saved constantly. he doesn’t ever try to grow but expects everyone to take him on as the terrible person he is

I’m sorry but it bothers me how he walks around as if he never caused any damage and as if everyone is needing him around. I’ll tell ya that everyone would be fine if he died. it’s like everyone has Stockholm syndrome and accepts the shitty behavior and actions of jace. and it’s worse when he’s a herondale because they all act like he’s royalty. Jace would be dead and is nothing without Alec. but Alec would be fine without jace. Jace needed to fix his bloody actions and show some fucking remorse for what he’s done

yeah yeah aldertree shut up already that’s not what Malec is

ABSOLUTE PERFECTION WOW ✨

that’s it for today but will try to finish 2x10 tomorrow and may get started on 2x11, see y’all soon 🥲

[goodmiffy]

I’m gonna make a real post about this at some point or multiple posts but I’ve just gone down an instagram rabbit hole and I’m absolutely sickened about just how many men are pedophiles and are very open and flippant about their attraction to little girls online. there are thousands upon thousands of clearly exploitative accounts of young girls under the guise of being ballet or gymnastics accounts with hundreds of thousands of male followers. and the posts are flooded with men making sexual comments. there’s so many take-aways not only that men are pedophiles in truly disturbingly high numbers but that they’re open about their attraction, act on it, are so unbelievably stupid that they try and engage with these girls as if they’ll actually get anything from that, rendered into such dribbling knuckle dragging reprobates by their pedo boners they fail to realise these accounts are obviously ran by adults pretending to be the girls in order to attract maggots like themselves for whatever kind of material or monetary gain they’re getting from it. and the girls likely won’t even know they’re being posted and most are far too young to even comprehend what a pedophile is and would be absolutely traumatised by virtually any of the comments let alone the hundreds and hundreds received daily. another take away is just how completely and utterly men seem to be compelled by their boners i know this is old news but holy shit does it render them into slobbering brain dead chimps. they will genuinely go wherever their dicks lead them and have no situational awareness or context clues and post graphic comments openly on photos of little girls while having public accounts. the biggest kicker is when they have accounts that say things like family first, or father of 4, or happily married or anything to that effect and you just think holy fucking shit they are real people with families who have to interact with this bottom feeding scum who probably gets off to his own children and I’m literally powerless to stop what i can see going down right in front of me. and you get the strong sense that they are hardly humans at all but shells hollowed out by pedophilic pornography who are at the whim of every dick twitch. and not only all of this but the fact that instagram is seemingly trying to cover up these behaviours and protect pedophiles because when i find accounts like this that are public and try and look at their follow list to confirm it’s all little girls it brings up “no results. We limit this information to protect our community” on fucking public accounts so by protecting the community instagram means protecting the pedophiles and absolutely not the little girls being exploited. and you just want to scream and swing an axe around and you feel deep in your heart that the male is a plague on the world and this whole fucking thing is some kind of sick twisted experiment because how is it possible that a mammal would evolve to be such a worthless pathetic dredge. something has gone deeply wrong in their wiring and i wish they’d be systematically executed and the people running these accounts too. god. 10,000 nukes to the whole of human society let the plants have the earth because we’re doomed. the end.

[leavemeal0newithmym0ss]

let’s fucking get started with that 1st opening minus the lyrics bcuz that’s a whole other can of worms

Someone else (can’t remember who off the top off my head) pointed out how the flower represented saiki and I just. it not even being a dead flower??? The petals are just coming off??? MORE PETALS COMING OFF WHEN HIS FRIENDS ARE FIRST INTRODUCED???? I’m already crying man. They really were bringing his spirit down when they kept projecting on him and therefore weren’t really making an effort to know him bcuz they thought they had him all figured out huh. We haven’t even scratched the surface of what I wanna talk about and the screenshots make it extra long lmao.

Let’s talk about why they choose these two powers to show off. First off him just being able to easily destroy stuff is probably meant to show how fragile everyone and everything seems around him and how easily he could hurt someone (he would never, but his upbringing and self-deprecating thoughts says he could and that’s all that matters). Next, flying. It seems really cool but the fact that there’s literally no one else there makes the scene feel like incredibly lonely to me. Like minus the buildings and moon the sky is a whole lot of nothing.

Saiki’s friends making him feel trapped minus takahashi get the fuck out this isn’t about you. Hairo trying to make the rope tighter might be representing him making situations worse without meaning to; I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks he’s loosening it. Toritsuka just sprawling on top of saiki with no regard for him. Nendou is probably representing a weight to saiki; he’s not really doing anything other than eating ramen but saiki likely feels guilty about just being a danger to the dude. I’m pretty sure in the beginning of the manga saiki stated multiple times that Nendou was a good guy. Kaidou drawing on his face and pointing at him is definitely about how Kaidou projects onto saiki and “creates” a personality for him. Teruhashi is interesting bcuz she’s not really doing anything to him unlike the others but she is also up in his face like she’s trying to get his attention and saiki, who in this big metaphor can’t move his body (probably bcuz he’s scared the slightest twitch will throw off their illusion that they created for him and he has abandonment issues they’ll leave now that I think about it), can’t really tell her to stop.

Ok who’s house is this and why is saiki using his x-ray vision? Why did they choose this house to start off x-ray? Is it teruhashi’s? Why does it feel like teruhashi’s and why is saiki using x-ray vision on it?

Him putting the flower that represents him back together with his powers we love to see it. This is probably at the end where he finally excepts his powers as a part of himself and stops tearing himself down bcuz of them (although that is going to take time, he’s starting to at least).

MORE FLOWERS GROWING IN THE FIELD THE MORE FRIENDS HE SURROUNDS HIMSELF BY AND THE MORE PEOPLE HE LETS GET CLOSE??? HIS EYES HAVING A SHINE IN THEM AT THE END WHEN IN THEY BEGINNING THEY WERE DEVOID OF LIFE??? WHAT IF I SOB

[randomthefox]

I don’t really like the direction that they want to go with Kit after the annual. His reason for wanting to manufacture problems for Surge comes out of worry that they’ll kill Eggman and then there will be no one left to save. And I’m like, “No, you fucking won’t.” How could Kit get it into his brain that they could stand a chance at killing Eggman when Sonic and friends—who have bested them at every turn—haven't been able to do it yet? It doesn’t make any sense. Kit is supposed to be the smart one. He wasn’t just made to do tech stuff; Starline made him to look before Surge leaps by making plans based on facts and logic. But as it stands, it would be far more logical if Kit wanted to manufacture scenarios where Surge can easily win because he thinks she isn’t capable of defeating Eggman and facing him would be too dangerous for her. But that would be bad too, because aren’t these guys supposed to be some kind of threat? The writers seem to want us to judging by how they have them strike a cool pose at the end of their story. But, how am I supposed to take them seriously if their next arc seems to imply that they’re going to be isolated from the game cast, basically playing pretend until Surge catches on and they just hug it out or something because the writers decided to get rid of all of Surge’s violent impulses despite that being what made her entertaining to begin with?

Not to mention, where is this scheming side of Kit coming from? Ride out of left field; that’s where. At no point is it built up that Kit would work behind Surge’s back. Almost every appearance Kit has had until that point has established that Kit is completely incapable of doing anything on his own. He either needs someone else's validation or someone else's assistance. Why should I even be taking this oh so dark development seriously? Because this coming is garbage, we haven’t seen Kit successfully execute a single plan. In the very same story, we see how little the writers take Kit seriously. Despite Kit being the designated smart one, he underestimates the force of the rail tram's weight and gets pulled down with it. Starline made Kit to be the planner, but because this comic doesn’t understand how to write villains, there isn’t a single point where this is shown. It’s so stupid. They have Clutch constantly intimidating everyone despite having none of the means to hurt them. Then, you have Surge and Kit, characters who have all of the means to pose a threat, but the comic doesn’t let them do anything. Because the writers are lazy. They feel that because Surge and Kit have been built up as Sonic and Tails’ doppelgängers with all of these crazy cool powers, they feel they can rely solely on tell don’t show and don't have to bother giving them any impressive feats. And it works. The fans of this comic eat up this slop and ask for seconds because they subsist solely off of vibes, which yell don’t show easily provides, while everyone with a brain is banging their head against the wall because how are we supposed to believe that Kit can reliably manipulate Surge when, because of this comic's stupidity, we haven’t seen him do anything of value yet? But then again, he probably can. Because Surge has been built up as equally brain dead and able to change based on the writer’s whims.

I hate this comic so much. One of the main reasons I remained invested in this comic is because of Surge and Kit. But now, their next arc is basically going to be them playing in a ball pit, completely separate from the rest of the cast as they literally play pretend with no stakes. I don’t even like these characters anymore because their dynamic is almost the exact opposite of how it was introduced, despite them hardly actually doing anything with the said original dynamic. All of their buildup in imposter syndrome basically amounted to one issue, and from there, their character consistency dropped off the side of a cliff. How am I supposed to remain invested in these characters when they introduce character change after character change? Surge is nicer to Kit now. This change happened for no reason. Kit wants to manipulate Surge now. This change happened for no reason. The writers for this comic don’t know what an arc is, nor do they know that originally made the characters they created appealing, as shown by their characterization being all over the place. The people who like this comic don’t know either. Even though the characters are completely different from the ones I got invested in, their upcoming arc might actually be really interesting if they make it into an uncomfortable psychological thriller. But even that would be kind of boring because they already tried that in imposter syndrome. That, and that’s not what Sonic is about. Sonic is about action. Stuff like imposter syndrome served it’s purpose by being build up to the action rather than being the end goal. But there is no end goal with this comic. They’re just going to keep blue ballsing me over and over again. Never letting the only characters I currently like in this comic do anything (because it’s not like I can enjoy the game characters when they’re so out of characters). Anyways, I’m going to go back to writing my fic involving Surge and Kit where they’re actually competent so I can finally get some catharsis for all of the investment I’ve put into those characters that the comic that created them is too lazy and incompetent to give me. Rant over.

Yeah it's hard to interpret this page as being anything but Ian Flynn shitting on the video games and basically saying "lol MY super cool awesome anti hero OCs would be able to kill Eggman whenever they waaaaaaaant~" like he had to try and invent a reason why Surge and Kit WOULDN'T just go and kill Eggman or something.

Like, You and I both know that if Surge and Kit tried to go kill Eggman, he'd just turn them into bloody smears on the floor. Effortlessly. With his bare hands.

But that's not how Ian Flynn would write such a confrontation. And we know this because we've already seen how this comic would write a confrontation between Surge and Eggman

Because this comic is written By people who hate Sonic, For people who hate Sonic.

And yeah the whole manipulative toxic schemer thing for Kit really comes out of nowhere. There isn't any set up for it even in Imposter Syndrome. Like it's pretty obvious that Ian Flynn is COMPLETELY ignoring everything Evan Stanley wrote for these characters and is crafting their dialog in that Annual issue based on HIS ideas for what HE wanted to happen to Surge and Kit after issue #50 even though that is obviously not what happened in the comic.

Personally I'm still pissed we didn't actually get a Surge and Kit vs Sonic and Tails fight.

Fucking liar. We did not get Sonic and Tails vs Surge and Kit. We got Sonic vs Surge and Tails vs Kit. We never got Sonic and Tails vs Surge and Kit.

Because this comic is dogshit.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 14 The Thanksgiving Dinner Murder

It's ok Logico, they can't all be puns

These episode titles tho, I legit imagine Logico painstakingly writing the entire book and then once he's done at some point at 3 AM he's just trying to title all of the cases

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

It’s early in the morning, and Logico is fast asleep. He’s so tired! There’s an unpleasant knocking at the door. Unsurprisingly, Lady Violet is there. Eeby Gico rolls out of bed.

VIOLET: Rise and shine! It’s THANKSGIVING!! LOGICO: No it’s not!! It’s MAY! VIOLET: Remember? Holiday party? Today, we’re celebrating Thanksgiving!  LOGICO: W- VIOLET: Don’t worry, it’ll be Christmas tomorrow!

Vi leads Gico to a glorious dining hall.

VIOLET: For the Holy Republic, Thanksgiving celebrates the time where we annihilated a clan of peasants that was trying to overthrow us! Look!

The centerpiece decoration is a fake pie with a bunch of little dead human figures stuck in it.

LOGICO: How appetizing.

For no apparent reason, Father Mango and Steel are there.

STEEL: EW!! I thought I’d never have to see your short ass again! LOGICO: OH MY GOD, I hate you. MANGO: I’ve brought the wine! LOGICO: Of course you have.

They all sit down, awaiting their brown food to be served to them. After an hour, nothing happens.

MANGO: I have to go home now. VIOLET: NO WAIT!! I… I’m sure they’ll be out soon! 

She flutters to the kitchen. Can you guess what she sees? She screams. Logico runs over.

LOGICO: I probably could have guessed this happened an hour ago.

The first clue is a fork jammed into one of the human figures on the centerpiece. He tears it out and it��s stained with blood… but it’s nowhere near the dead chef. Are the human figures filled with blood????? Logico is about to vomit. He runs into the pantry instead. Mango is standing in the dark.

LOGICO: What are you doing? MANGO: Trying to figure out which brown food will go best with my gravy. 

He drinks some of it straight out of the pitcher. He gasps loudly!!!

LOGICO: … MANGO: I forgot I put arsenic in there. LOGICO: The fuck?? MANGO: It’s fine. I have God on my side.

He enters the kitchen instead and runs into Steel.

STEEL: Heyyyyy~ MANGO: … STEEL: I’d love a sip of that gravy.  MANGO: Absolutely not. STEEL: Ugh, I meant literally, but, if you wanna put it that way…

Mango kicks her across the room! Good thing too, because Logico cannot take any more of incompatible murdlers flirting with each other.

Irratino, restless, draws sketches of priests drenched in gravy. But his tears only make the paper bleed.

Logico quickly figures out that Steel is the chef killer. Makes sense, considering she’s one of the worst people alive.

STEEL: OH, YOU THINK YOU CAN CANCEL ME?! I CAN NEVER BE CANCELED!!!

She stomps around like the mature adult she is. 

MANGO: Now, I have the urge to kill HER…

Violet slams her hands on the table.

VIOLET: THAT’S IT! PARTY’S OVER! My GOD I can’t work with ANY OF YOUUUU

The end!

I hate steel so much

Look, baby sir rulean! He looks like a banana!

(I don't hate green bean sir rulean. I just hate armored sir rulean so I turned him into a green bean. wait what the fuck am i doing?)

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[sapphire-weapon]

So, I reached the very endgame of FFXVI and looked at the shitton of sidequests that popped up before heading off to the final confrontation and went “fuck it.” I had done every single sidequest in the game leading up to this point, but I was reaching the end of the final night of the days I had taken off of work to play this game and I just needed to beat it and be done with it. I made a manual save at that point and just went into the final boss, intending to go back to the sidequests later.

After I beat the game, I didn’t honestly think I’d actually go back to those sidequests. What was the point, knowing how the game ended and what it meant?

ENDING SPOILERS BENEATH THIS CUT

And then I poked my head into the fandom and kept seeing people insist that Clive lived in the end (and also probably so did Joshua). And, at first, I was like “how much fucking copium are you guys huffing over here?? We literally physically see Joshua die, and he even says that the power of the Phoenix can mend flesh, but it can’t bring the dead back to life. So, all that happened was that Clive healed his corpse to make him look more dignified, but that is it. And we literally see Clive fucking turn into stone and Jill feels his aether disappear. They fucking died, we saw them die, you are so high on copium it’s making you look stupid.”

But then I kept digging into it.

And digging into it.

For Joshua -

Ultima says that Clive’s will is so strong that it actually harbors the power of creation, especially considering the way that Joshua is etched onto his heart. And, during the ending, Clive has Ultima’s power, which also literally is creation. We might not see Joshua get up and move around again, but his survival is hinted at/confirmed during the post-credits scene when he’s listed as the author of the book.

Okay, I can buy that. I guess. It still sounds copium as fuck to me, but I can see how people got there.

Clive’s was a little bit more abstract, and I kept seeing people refer to a conversation he had with Jill that I swear to god I never saw, because apparently Jill is the confirmation that he lived. So, in an effort to understand what the fuck people were talking about, I booted the game back up and went back and did the sidequests that I’d ignored last night.

And I saw the conversation.

And fandom is right. 

This motherfucker goddamn lived ARE YOU KIDDING ME

THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN MISSABLE OPTIONAL CONTENT HOLY FUCK

It’s subtle, and it’s spelled out purely in symbolism, but it is there.

Jill says: “I realized that, no matter how terrible the night, dawn will always come. You [will] always come for me. And you have. Again and again.”

A few lines later, Clive says: “I’ll stop at nothing to see that you [get the life you want].”

In the ending, Jill watches Metia go out -- Metia, which she prayed on to bring Clive back to her -- and she takes that to mean that Clive is dead. But when she runs out of the infirmary and drops to her knees, the sun rises. Immediately. And Torgal howls -- and howling is how wolves try to signal their location to lost members of the pack to guide them home. And then Jill smiles at the sight of the sun.

Metia goes out because Jill doesn’t have to wish on it anymore -- not because Clive is dead, but because they’ll never have to be separated again. It also probably goes out because there’s no more magic left in the world. And, in fact, that’s probably why he doesn’t die -- the ability to channel aether in the form of magic disappears from the world before the curse can actually fully take him.

Because I rewatched the ending, and --

We don’t actually see him turn to stone. We see his hand turn to stone, but it doesn’t appear to be creeping up the rest of his arm or anything. And then he just... closes his eyes and drops his head against the sand.

That motherfucker is alive.

And because he’s alive, it ties back to Joshua because of the sidequest with the fuckin heartstones binding them together through the will of their father. If one endures, so too must the other. They both have to carry out Elwin’s legacy; it can’t just be Clive (or, it can’t just be Joshua, if you’re of the opinion that Clive resurrected him with Ultima’s power but then died himself).

Because it wasn’t just Cid’s dream and Cid’s legacy -- it was Elwin’s, too. The game makes it a point to repeat that over and over again, and it also keeps hammering home the idea that Clive and Joshua need to continue on living in order to see Elwin’s dream realized.

And Elwin’s dream is shown to have been realized in the post-credits scene. For that to have happened, both Clive and Joshua had to have lived.

Does this absolve XVI of all of its other writing problems? Absolutely not.

Is it complete and utter bullshit that this is so obtuse and missable and a vast majority of people are never going to find it? Yes.

Does it make things marginally better, though.......? Yeah, it actually does.

This is the payoff for Clive allowing himself to be loved. Jill’s love for him literally saved his life. Cid gave him something to die for, but Jill gave him something to live for. He made it a point to hold on long enough to look at the moon, because he promised her he would -- and doing that is what kept him going long enough that the magic disappeared before his body could fully turn to stone. And that whole idea of death and rebirth is thematically tied into the whole Phoenix thing and all that other bullshit.

I’m going to need to take some time to process all of this, but.

It does make me feel at least a little better.

[i-dont-think-youll-ever-see-this]

(TW: mention of sh) My friends brought to my attention that I’ve been kind of mean and that I shut them down sometimes, and they say that they are also worried that I talk about them behind their backs (I don’t)

I’m not mad that they told me abt this and I’m really trying to be a better person, I’ve been slowly improving for a while now and I’m happy they tell me these things so I know what to fix about myself.

I just hate knowing that they talked about this beforehand together, they say they don’t want me talking about them behind their backs but they did that to me (I know they didn’t mean it like that)

I’ve had issues like this in the past and it still haunts me, I really want to talk to them about it but it all happened like a month ago and I’m scared they will say that I’m just causing problems or that I’m being overdramatic.

it’s just that every time I stop thinking about something else I just think about how they probably sat together and talked about how horrible of a person I am, that they hate me, and that they dont want to be friends with me anymore. ( I know they wouldn’t do that because they are amazing but honestly I deserve that)

one of the worst parts is that they were scared to tell me because they were worried that I’d relapse on sh because of them telling me. They know I already hate myself and think I’m a shitty person and they were scared that I’d take what they said and use it as a reason to relapse.

(I did end up relapsing because of it but I don’t really think that’s the point)

And I fucking hate that they ended up apologizing. Apologizing?!?! For what??? Why were they apologizing when I was being a shitty friend, why were they apologizing when i literally deserve to be dead because i can’t be a good friend to anyone.

I did tell them that they don’t get to apologize because they didn’t do anything wrong, but the two of them still feel bad.

it’s all over with now but I sh over it.

I really just want to know how to be a different person because I don’t mean to do stuff like this, before I can think shitty mean stuff comes out of my mouth and I can’t stop it.

I’m sorry for putting this much, this is literally just me venting at this point but I can’t really talk to anyone else about this.

Also bc you post this can ppl also try and help in the replies bc I really need to figure out how to change myself

(Pls respond)

okay okay, so please don’t sh, if this kind of thing upsets you that much please talk to someone and seek help.

second, you are not a bad and horrible person, everyone is still growing and becoming the best versions of themselves. The fact that you want to change is even more proof that you are not a horrible person.

I think talking to your friends might be a good thing, if they would tell you that you’re overdramatic or causing problems by bringing something like this to their attention maybe you shouldn’t be friends with them in the first place.

Also remember that you are a product of your environment, try to surround yourself with good happy people and you will improve!

also like anon said, feel free to leave kind respectful advice in the replies/reblogs if you want.

I don’t think they’ll ever see this.

[professionallydeadinside]

OK HERE WE GO AGAIN LMAOOOO also this is a pretty fresh and new story so stuff is very subject to change (and i also haven’t been writing stuff down just keepin it in the noggin so again ive been forgetting stuff)

Ok Kairos is off to try and meet Andromeda. He wants to try and keep this shit from becoming an all out mess and war. He finds Andromeda, still in her shadowy form, but also very recognisably human. She explains what happened, and Kairos is like damn girl thats cray cray. I guess i can help or smth. So Andromeda goes back to attack Phaedra, and Kairos takes the Blackmont men to help him. It takes time to actually find Phaedra, she’s bouncing around Aralul to make alliances and conquer new places, but so is Andromeda. Because of the lack of confrontation, Kairos doesn’t actually see what Andromeda’s power does, and what it turns her into. Now, Andromeda is trying to turn this into a whole war, she wants people on her side, and she wants to rip Kholeno apart too, not just Phaedra. She takes Kairos and goes to Cerania (another nation in Aralul. It’s actually the home of Kailyn and is an ancient place. Very neutral and it’s seen as near sacrilegious to attack) for a whole world council.

Ok now we need to get into some light biology of Sylla’s people because it’s important to what happens next. Since Sylla is a hive leader, that gives her special abilities. Not just her shapeshifting from Hadeon, but being a hive leader means you can yknow. Control the hive. And it takes a LOT to make a new little fucker that can do that, especially on top of shapeshifting and (spoilers ig lmao) gifts of prophecy. Because of all that, it’s custom but also literally biologically necessary for a bearing hive leader to fall into a coma-like state. Sylla can be woken up, but it’s dangerous, and it could risk her and her child eating each other alive. There just isn’t enough magic and power and strength to keep Sylla awake, alive, and to devote to the child. So, until she has the child, she’s pretty much asleep the whole time. Caliban, in the absence of Kairos, takes care of her and the hive. He’s the one that will wake her if a true emergency happens, and he’s the one that deals with all the problems. But, because Sylla HAS to stay asleep for her safety, it means she’s vulnerable. They don’t really have to worry about the hive knowing, because their first loyalty is always to the hive mother, but those outside the hive are a different story. So, when that letter from Cerania comes, only Caliban is there for it. He’s left with a choice; wake his sister up, and risk her life and his unborn niece/nephew, go to Cerania himself and risk people catching on that Sylla is indisposed, or leave Sylla asleep, and nobody goes to Cerania, which makes it look more like a political stance than just nobody can fucking go. He chooses the last one, and another contributing factor is that hive leaders dont often have many children. It takes so much out of the bearer, like, Sylla is better off than most, and she’s still playing peekaboo with death, and it’s to help keep conflicts down. It was risky for Hadeon to have both Sylla and Caliban alive at the same time, usually a hive leader will only have one child alive at a time, and if they fail, they’ll eat them once the next possible heir has been born (which Hadeon did. A lot. Sylla and Caliban have a ton of dead half siblings, but he had Reasons to keep Sylla and Caliban alive). Caliban is trying to just make sure that the child is born, and he knows his sister probably isn’t gonna fuckin eat her kid, but maybe. He wants her to have the option to eat him later.

All of that is to explain this: Andromeda goes to Cerania, hoping to gain allies and aid in her quest, and she brings Kairos with her. He’s excited, since Andromeda sent for Blackmont, and he’s so giddy to see his wife, but then. The chair for Blackmont is empty. Nobody is there, not even Caliban. What happened? Why hadn’t he heard anything from them? Was Blackmont in danger? If it was, he needed to get back. But, Kairos also swore to help Andromeda. He decides he’ll quickly deal with Phaedra, since that’ll also stop Andromeda’s war, and then Blackmont really will be safe.

YEAHHHHHH MORE SILAS OC LORE !!! Sylla and Caliban,,,,,,,I love them,,,,,,,the siblings ever