#if you like hard to follow rants im your gal

[blonkk]

im gonna rant!!!

i’m so tireeddddd of people projecting their pathetic insecurities onto everyone else (me). like i’m sorry you’re afraid to be alone and you don’t know who you are and you’re insecure and you have no courage. not to be a bitch but seriously. idc anymore maybe i am stuck up maybe i do think i’m better than you!! but coming at me because i refuse to do what everyone else does with such contempt and vigour just exposes you. like i have accepted that in my life i will not experience romantic love. not because it doesn’t exist, it does for some people, but i’m not gonna base my entire life and goals around meeting someone, falling in love, marrying them and having their children. i’d be ready to end my shit right now if those were my goals, being 28 and not even having a boyfriend. that means i’ve already failed at life but i knowwww i’m still a caterpillar. like be serious. sooooo yeah, sorry that in your narrow worldview everyone needs to basically get married and have kids, and there’s “someone out there for you” — what so all women gotta find that person by age 30 or our lives are over?? 😂 you delusional weirdos sound like hardcore christians. like maybe there is someone for me who i’ll meet when i’m 45 or 70! maybe i’ll never meet them! maybe there isn’t anyone because that’s just the way the world is! but i’m selfish because i don’t want to spend my life being miserable because i can’t find love and place all chances of future happiness on this person and the privilege of bearing/raising their kids??!!? so i should just settle for second best — of something i don’t even WANT — because everyone says it’s the point of life?… anyways

i’m just annoyed like i said. i can accept a loveless life, it’s hard but i’m ok lol. yeah it gets sad and lonely sometimes but truth is i have a pretty wonderful life that i’m thankful for, despite sadness, loneliness, grief etc. being in love won’t improve things in any significant way imo. i don’t want to be isolated in a relationship with a man. i don’t want to live with a man. i don’t want to have kids. i like my life; i like my 50 year old snowboard bum roommate, i like my shit car, i like having the ability to do whatever i want. i like bouncing from job to job, despite the financial insecurity and general lack of stability; all my life i’ve wanted to be free and independent, and i finally am — i can take care of myself which is what matters. i love my friends, i love exploring different hobbies and places and careers. i am literally unemployed and haven’t been this happy in a long, long time. i’m so sick of people telling me they “want me to be happy” but ignore me when i say i finally truly am. they just want to shove me in their stifling little box with them for god knows what reason. just because you think your life is perfect doesn’t mean it will be for everyone. idk, things change! maybe i’ll change too! but for now shut the fuck up. go be in your annoying relationship with your insufferable bf/husband and tell everyone how much were missing out on by not being married/having kids. the gals a couple feminist waves back beg to differ along with the steadily rising divorce rates and rapidly declining marriage and birth rates.

you’re the one who’s unhappy. if not, then you simply lack compassion and general respect for others. your worldview is small and you’re ignorant. your life is yours, others have different wants and will follow the path that leads them to those things. we all suffer for our choices — sure, i may wish at times i had a spouse and a house and a mouse. that doesn’t mean it’s what i have always wanted deep deep down. it means it’s normal to wonder what it would be like to have what you don’t and yearn a little sometimes. BUT i’d literally never give up my freedom. i think back to high school often and how restricted i felt; i couldn’t breathe. i flailed in that environment because it was so rigid. i’m never, ever going back to that, ever. i have self respect

[lil-pink-goblin-gal]

My messy week recap and me panicking also there’s a max word limit and i hit it :)

So i like my friends, but i have this one friend that can get really loud and she sits right beside me at lunch? and when im tired/sensory sensitive it can be really, lets just say panic inducing? I feel really bad since its a big group and people see me going to cover my ears sometimes or flinching and i don’t want them to think im faking it? or being rude? I got here this year, im new and my god am I so worried about having everyone hate me and being alone again. But everyone is so nice and i don’t, I can’t with emotions? i have empathy problems already so im not very good to talk to about things of that nature so I try not to stress anyone else out over my problems but everything boils over? which is why im writing all my rant here, i really wish i didn’t have to have a separate blog for my shit that sucks, I like my friends but thats too personal and i feel like continuing to rant on my main would seem like im begging for attention, I run the risk of this now, before i had like 3 friends not even now i have way more and its, a whole deal. I play dnd and we’re splitting into two different campaigns and the DMs both wanted me in their campaign! tho this might’ve been one of them saying that since neither of them wanted me? god im, overthinking everything im so stressed? sorry if you see this and you know me irl btw. I have so many things to do, i like social studies! its the only class i answer questions in and my teacher is really nice, I did a rough draft of my character? A pirate bard. My blanket is really soft even if the tag is somehow always in my face and my dry hands catch on the fluffy part, my dogs and i had a nap after school, I finally brushed my hair after having it in a bun for weeks, might go to bed early ish and be generally happy tomorrow morning, the only part of me hurting is my forearms when i streach them and my foot when i flex it! I get to wear mostly yellow tomorrow for a dance prefomance. A guy in my drama class keeps making eye contact with me, does he think i look bad? is he judging me whst am i doing wrong? should i stop smiling so much ik i look weird when i smile sometimes maybe my laugh is ugly or maybe i need to stop stimming? is it because im new? but theres another new girl and i don’t think he stares at her? I keep on trying to get people to tell me wtf is up but? people say im like, attractive and like sure but he’s friends with two of the prettiest girls at the school i don’t think he’s staring at me cause im like mildly cute? No somethings up, I act more like myself in drama since im normally free to fidget/stim (i forgoing which one is for adhd?) and my favourite is rocking, maybe i should try to stop? i’ll test it out next class maybe. Also in drama my friend put a blanket over me and i think it was an invitation to sit next to her and like, be near her but than she kept on slowly moving back? and i tested and moved back a bit she moved more im?? so confused what did i do, im not sure. I feel like i might have more thsn just ADHD? sometimes i feel like i don’t have ADHD and im just lazy and anoying and stupid but, i do things and i don’t think it’s normal for people with only adhd. The guy i keep making eye contact with is very tall and very funny he kept on making dad jokes and my friend kept on making puns and i was almost crying. I really want to have a crush, there are two really nice guys in my dnd group?? who willingly touch me without expecting me to initiate first which im always anxious about doing, but they’re both really nice and god i haven’t been like, properly held since i was like 10 (or like a month ago but i was half asleep and sobbing doesn’t count) and they’re always warm and its very nice. I wish i had classes with them but only dnd. I hate my body and we have to dance but the dnd room is starting to be realky full and i don’t know some people i might fake an injury or drag everyone somewhere else to practice since i cant with the noise and the eyes its too much. But i really wanna spend the time i have with my friends not practicing a thing. theres max word??

[queercraftingchonk]

Chat log: Garrus asks for advice from a few ladies (& Joker)

[SECURE_CHANNEL_SR2shade.09] [Encryption: ACTIVE] [01:03am GST 02.02.2768] Who's active in chat? archangel, DrTSoni, PilotSupreme, ChampTraynor87, ~masterthief<3 Inactive: shalei_stan5ever (Garrus knew Tali didn't have access to chat outside the working relay system...but it felt wrong, somehow, to not at least add her to the conversation.) archangel_hey, so, I was hoping I could get some input from you guys ~masterthief<3_guys? or gals? ;) PilotSupreme_im here Kasumi ~masterthief<3_girls come in all shapes. nobody's perfect <(^.^)> PilotSupreme_im gonna assume im not here for insight into the feminine mind ChampTraynor87_What do you need, Garrus? Everything alright with the commander? archangel_yes. i mean, sort of? it's...complicated DrTSoni_If any of us can help, we will. ~masterthief<3_anything for my favorite couple on the citadel archangel_Shepard's been doing everything right, everything she can...she's working so hard but she can't seem to see it PilotSupreme_on brand ChampTraynor87_Even so, it can't be easy on Shepard.

archangel_but she won't be caught dead admitting that. she doesn't talk to me as much. i feel like she's pulling away and i...i don't know what to do. DrTSoni_It can't be easy for you either, Garrus. Have you been taking care of yourself? archangel_im not the one whose a double amputee PilotSupreme_so what?? ~masterthief<3_ =( archangel_how can i think about myself when im not the one who has to work harder than everyone, again? she deserves a lot more than what she's been getting PilotSupreme_instead of thinking what Shepard deserves, have you thought about what she wants? ~masterthief<3_ :o ChampTraynor87_That's...surprisingly insightful, Joker. archangel_what do you mean? PilotSupreme_look, ever since the commander woke up, she's been a patient. i mean, for good reason, she somehow broke my record for most broken bones in one human body. but it wears you out. when's the last time you just, like, hung out with her, big guy? no appointments or meds or anything archangel_i think i get what you're saying DrTSoni_It seems you were right to add Joker to this conversation PilotSupreme_i've told you guys i got good ideas ChampTraynor87_EDI was certainly one ~masterthief<3_why don't you make a date night for you and Shep? archangel_i'm not that, uh, creative. Suggestions? DrTSoni_Something from the heart. It doesn't have to be complicated--though I suppose going dancing is currently out of the question until the problems with the prosthetics are addressed. ChampTraynor87_A nice, homecooked meal is always a hit. Especially when it's a surprise! ~masterthief<3_Dinner and a vid is classic if you can't dance or plan a heist PilotSupreme_planning a heist is a date? ~masterthief<3_it is if you do it right~ archangel_uh, no heists right now, plz PilotSupreme_well, good luck, big guy. just remember to be the weird turian the commander fell in love with and i'm sure it'll go fine. DrTSoni_I can send some extranet links on human date ideas. If you need anything else, just let me know. ChampTraynor87_Oh, I'll forward you some recipes of food I know the commander likes! She went on quite the rant about how James' huevos rancheros couldn't match up to her grandfather's full Scottish breakfast when it came to hangover foods the last time she had some ryncol on the Normandy. ~masterthief<3_don't overthink things, Garrus. just follow that big turian heart of yours!

--Excerpt from How to Love a Biotic God(dess) [Ao3] Chapter 6: (2) New Messages, (1) Invitation by Queercrafting_Chonk

[tales-unique]

Im very nervous.......I, on a TERRIBLE whim, decided I wanted to start a heisenberg x reader fic and after much trial and error that was probably the universe telling me to NOT do it, I finished chapter one today and shall post tomorrow. After like two days of hard commitment, deleting it like three times on accident, having a crisis about how to do the keep reading thing on mobile tumblr, and having some close calls where I nearly deleted it AGAIN, I completed the chapter and I'm nervous no one will like it bc it doesn't really delve into any heisenberg stuff immediately and it's like kinda boring even tho that's the vibe I was going for in the chapter and even tho it's my fic and I do what I want, I can't help but be nervous and it really doesn't help that forest of the day I've been really jittery bc I had some decently strong coffee for breakfast after not having had any in a good month or so and there is only so much reassurement that my ride or die bestie can give me and I'm ranting I'm so sorry I just wanted to talk about it to someone who might understand and u can ignore this again I'm really sorry.

Oh sweet pea, I know EXACTLY how this feels! 😩 Having lost many a post in my time I swear it's one of the most aggravating, frustrating things that can happen, especially using this hell sites mobile app. So I very much understand your pain and honey, don't ever apologise for needing to vent!

I will always be here for any one of my followers, you're all people at the end of the day and if you need someone to chat to, I'll happily be your gal!

Link me your fic, I'd love to give it a read! :D

[huhusevenn]

jtwya

• fluff, humor

• Word Count: 1.5k

• HighSchool!au | transferee!woojin x reader

• a/n: hiii! i wish u had a great day, and if not, i hope this will help you smile for a bit. the reader's thoughts are in italics. thank for reading! the title sucks, bc i cant think of anything else im sorry :(( it's almost quarter to one here am here lmao

- Rei <3

ps. the photos arent mine, but the edit is mine.

"You're the shit."

"What the shit."

Hyunjin and Yeji said at the same time, but with different expressions. Typical twins. Except that you love Hyunjin's grin of fascination more than Yeji's gaze of disgust for this moment.

"I know. I'm the shit, right?" You grinned, throwing an arm over Hyunjin's shoulder to pull him close to you. You ruffled his hair playfully, earning a small giggle from him.

"No, Y/N, you look like shit. What in the world did you just do to your hair?" Yeji exclaims in disbelief as she eyes your new pixie, undercut hairstyle with light blonde highlights. You seriously don't understand why Yeji didn't like it. It's so beautiful you stared at yourself for 5 whole minutes in the mirror - that's a new record! Even your Dad was impressed by this hairstyle, and he rarely cares when it comes to these things.

"Apparently, I fell in love with Captain Marvel's hairdo. You also told me to get my hair done! " You stated defensively, which annoyed Yeji more.

She rolled her eyes at you. "I told you to get your hair done by hot-oiling it, dumb butt!"

"It's cool, you look like a boy now," Hyunjin ruffles my hair as well, "nice highlights, man! It added to the masculinity."

What. the. f-

Now that explains why Dad gave a fuck for the first freakin' time

"I'll just wish to the gods above the heavens that you didn't completely ruin your chances in dating someone this school year," Yeji sarcastically remarked.

"I don't even care anymore," you exhaled heavily, flushing all your hopes of dating someone out. You told yourself that you'll stop looking for guys and let destiny fate do their thing with you and your soulmate if there's any.

"I'm kind of tired assuming that someone would be interested in me, when society made it clear for people like me that there will never be," you ranted, followed by the sigh of defeat.

"Don't lose hope yet! Someone will see you beyond that hairstyle," Yeji half-heartedly encouraged, still a bit annoyed because of your hair.

"I'll seriously miss your long, dark hair, but I'll get used to this, hopefully." She finally smiled at you. The conversation was cut short by the first morning-bell, then students started to hurry, pushing each other rather carelessly at the hall just to make it to class before the second bell rings.

"See you at lunch!" you slightly yelled. She nodded in response as she separated herself from you and Hyunjin, who is currently doing his best to refrain from laughing hard as you put some of your things in your locker.

The hall is mostly empty by now, for the students have finally settled into their respective classrooms except for you, Hyunjin, and a boy you've never seen before in this school.

"Who's that?" You asked Hyunjin in a whisper as you watch the boy struggle in opening his locker.

"New kid, obviously," Hyunjin replies, "to be honest, I feel bad for him. That locker has been broken for god-knows-how-long and no one has ever used it until now."

"Hey!" You called out, "that locker's broken. We could share if you don't mind."

"PFFFT- Wow, Y/N, just. Wow." Hyunjin snarkily exclaimed, "that's a new kid and you're hitting on him already?"

You chose to ignore him and continued to arrange your locker so all his things could fit in. You don't really take up that much space since you carry everything in your bag because you tend to forget your assignments in your locker. You almost failed your English class because of it.

"Uhh, hi," You heard the new guy's silvery, soft voice behind you, "I'm... new here."

"Yeah, I can see that. So, what's your name?" Hyunjin asks.

"Woojin. Woojin Kim."

"All done," you turned around and gave the transferee a small smile.

"Thanks, man." He said as he placed his stuff inside your locker.

Hyunjin erupted in laughter that echoed throughout the empty hall, clapping his hands in pure amusement at the same time, which only added to your annoyance.

This Woojin guy looks at the both of you, confused as to why you're giving him a bitch face and Hyunjin laughing so hard. "Did I do something wrong?"

". . . I'm a girl."

"Oh, you are?"

Hyunjin cackles even harder, almost becoming the epitome of ROTFL; and you couldn't be more irritated when you see Woojin's look of pure astonishment. Do I really look like a guy?' But there's no point in arguing. You love this hairstyle nevertheless, and you know that you'll rock it whether you'll look like a guy or a gal. The second bell rang, signaling the start of the class. Good thing your first class is Biology, which is found right beside your locker row and your teacher is always 30 minutes late.

Ignoring the now calm Hyunjin and embarrassed Woojin, you entered the room and went to your seat. Woojin and Hyunjin follow you inside, as well. Hyunjin then goes to his seat at the back row, never forgetting to send you a teasing wink as he passed by.

Woojin eyes the classroom for a moment to look for an empty seat, then he found the one and only vacant spot, which was next to yours. Letting what he said slip away doesn't mean that you'd do the same with your burning annoyance, so you decided to act as if he had disappeared into thin air.

You felt him start to walk towards you, but you kept your head down to avoid eye contact. As soon as he sat on the chair, he spoke up. "Hey, I'm really sorry about what I said earlier. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, or whatsoever."

You looked at him with a raised brow, meeting his slightly serious gaze, to which you chuckled because you find it surprisingly cute of him to be this worried. Your annoyance immediately dissipated as if it was never there. "We're cool, man. No need for apologies."

"As a matter of fact, I find y-"

Woojin was cut off when the door slammed open, then your Biology teacher came in sight, still looking fresh as ever. Your class lowkey thinks that he's spending an hour in the mirror just to "fix" himself, that's why he's always late.

Woojin didn't bother continuing what he wants to tell you because his focus is now on the teacher, as he waits to be called to introduce himself. You didn't mind, though. You can always ask him about it later. Doodling on the back of your notebook is more interesting.

The teacher finally noticed Woojin and he formally introduced himself in front of the class, but with whatever the weirdest reason Mr. Lee has, he started to ask Woojin some silly questions, and you assumed that he's being lazy today and wants to spend the half-hour in doing nothing but joking around.

"So Woojin, what talents do you have?" He asks, sitting on top of his desk.

Woojin nervously fidgets his fingers, yet he answered, with a confident tone, "I sing, sir."

"Really? Care to sing your favorite line in your favorite song?"

He nodded. You're still not paying attention because you're busy perfecting the Pikachu doodle in your notebook. It's gonna be my first-ever masterpiece, even Jisung would be jealous.

But the moment he started singing, his voice cut through your focus then your eyes snapped towards him. Amazement widens your eyes, your mouth gapes in surprise as his voice - his sweet, angelic, and perfectly in-tuned voice - resonates through the whole room.

"When I see your face," he sang, as his eyes wander to the back of the room, "there's not a thing that I would change..."

"'Cuz you're amazing," his gaze met yours, then Civil War suddenly took place inside your stomach, "just the way you are."

The room fell silent, everyone still amazed and shocked. Your gazes are still locked, but you averted it as soon as the sound of Mr. Lee's handclaps broke through the silence, everyone then followed, some even whooping a little. But you're still dumbfounded because of what he did.

What the fuck was that, Woojin?

"But wait, I noticed you directing your gaze towards Chloe as you sang. It's for her, isn't it, Woojin?" Mr. Lee suggestively said, wiggling his brows at him playfully. Your classmates started to cheer loudly, whooping even louder, and a friend of Chloe yelled 'she's single, Woojin!' Woojin rubbed his back of his neck sheepishly, failing to answer because of his nervousness. You are kind of disappointed, but not surprised because new kids always pine up over Chloe - your school's very own It Girl. You thought Woojin would be an exception, but clearly, you are wrong.

Finally, Mr. Lee let Woojin take a seat then started lecturing. "I'm glad I discovered that hidden talent of yours," you whispered to him, nudging his side playfully with your elbow when he sat down.

"But I wasn't looking at Chloe. I swear." He whispered back, sending you a wink. It's not the Civil War that's happening anymore - it's actually the Endgame.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (19)

Anonymous said: Hey can you do something like Bruce reacting to Jason's death? Or just dealing with it in general (I'm feeling awfully sad)

Ahhh I get that you probably want new material, but I don’t have the time for it just now, so I’m just gonna link to all the sad Bruce and Jason content. I hope you feel better! Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help :///

The fic about Bruce right after Jason died

The fic from Under the Red Hood

The fic with Tim as Robin

The fic where Jason gets injured

Generalized angst with a Bruce and Jason section

Anonymous said: Your new list of punishable offenses really, really improved my day

I’m so glad! We all need a lil help, you know?

@thephilosophersapprentice said: Headcanon that Dick uses those relaxing videos from youtube to get Tim to fall asleep

Sleep?? He doesn’t know her (what videos tho hmu)

Anonymous said: Have you done your torts reading yet? Should I poke you? I believe in you!

I did it that day but regrettably there is new torts reading every day :///

Anonymous said: I read the thing about Damian liking plants, and I'm just imagining him and Poison Ivy talking about their favorite plants and like, having a full-on discussion about plants

Selina says it’s “good for them both” and “vaguely cute” but honestly? Makes Bruce nervous

Anonymous said: JOSS WHEDON IS NO LONGER DIRECTING BATGIRL!!!! I am screaming with joy!!

Ahhhhhh it was just a rumor but I WISH

Anonymous said: Hi, I just read through like, all of your Damian hc's and I also read the one about him giving people thoughtful gifts and then I cried for a while. Thank you

One of my favorites! He’s a good kid

Anonymous said: Hey, gotta question. How old is Jason? I had a friend ask me and I wasn't sure.

Really hard to say on that one :/

My personal guess would be somewhere in the 19-22 range in the n52/rebirth, maybe 25ish in the preboot

Anonymous said: Have you read Worlds Apart by Fernandidilly_yo??? They just updated it and it is SO good, I think you would enjoy it. :)))

I haven’t, but I’ll give it a look :)

@giotanner said: Thank you very much for reblog my art (Tim Drake -inktober). This means a lot for me, 'cause I love your blog and always I follow it. Have a nice day!

It was a beautiful picture!

Anonymous said: what did you like about justice league tho ///

Spoilers below

I liked seeing Ben Affleck’s Batman and Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman on screen, acting like friends. I loved new-Barry and new-Arthur and new-Victor (especially Victor), especially when he called Bruce an asshole?? Iconic

I’ll be the first to admit that the movie had substantial problems, but here’s the thing: I just genuinely enjoy watching the characters I love on the big screen. The movie made me happy, and that’s all I really care about just now.

Anonymous said: hey mom, can i rant a lil? i am.... disappointed after watching justice league. i mean, i loved the new characters but coming out of the theatres i felt.. icky??? something just didnt sit well with me - the movie was too.... altered i guess is the only word i can think of right now. it didnt feel right. the tone was too light too different (forced?) for me too but thats just me. idk i just... im just upset right now. what did you think?

I’m really sorry you felt that way! I know what you’re talking about, and I’m sorry it ruined the movie for you

@batfightart said: I am so so so so so so so so sorry to hear what you have been going through with this "friend" of yours. That is truly despicable of him to disrespect what you have already told him about yourself and attempt to pursue a relationship despite it. And it's especially terrible since he's your partner for a class and that you share so many friends. Please feel free to vent to us anytime you need, we all love you so much and care for your well-being. I don't know if there is anything I can do, (1/2)

batfightart said: (2/2) but please let me know if I can help in any way or if you need anything. Please remember that you are so loved and that you are VALID as you are. We all appreciate you so much on here, and just want to give you support. I'll be thinking about you and wishing for the best for you. Thank you for sharing with us. We are here for you <3

Honestly this was.... exactly what I needed to hear a few days ago. Thank you so much for your support :’)

@justhavingfun123 said: I understand a bit of what you going through. I've had something similar happen with a guy; he thought he was "the exception". But just because he's friends with your friends doesn't mean you have to distance yourself from them, it might seem like to right thing to do(I've done it before), but stick to your friends. He'll hopefully see he was cruel in the end, and you need friend at a time like this. Hope everything will turn out good in the end and love your work ✨

My friends have been super supportive, which is really great because I don’t think I could have made it through this week without them. Sorry about your shitty experience with that guy :///

@12freddofrogs said: : ( That thing with the girlfriend-zone sounds horrible. I'm really sorry for you having to go through it. I wish I could give you advice or help, but all I can do is offer a virtual hug and prayers. I'm sure it will work out, but it sucks right now, and that's what hurts.

Hug and prayers both greatly appreciated <3

Anonymous said: In regards to your personal distress: you are valid. What you want and don't want is valid. I don't know the full extent of the situation, but if you can take a few precautions then tell him to back the f off, do so. I hope that that will help you feel better(?) about the situation.

I really needed that, anon

Anonymous said: God I’m so sorry that this guy has been playing you that fucking SUCKS and you did NOTHING wrong and we’re very different people but I know the feeling of just feeling so violated over being touched and it’s just the worst UGH I hope this guy fucks off forever and things go back to being good and happy

It was really bad for a couple of days, honestly. I still get all shivery and gross when I think about it, but I’m getting better

Anonymous said: I hope everything works out for you. I wish you the best!!!!

It’s been rough. Haley and I talked to him about it yesterday, because before that, he didn’t know that I was onto him. I made an outline and everything, and I practiced the speech a bunch of times. I made it through the whole thing without breaking down or losing my temper, and he just sort of.... sat there for awhile, until Haley made him apologize. 

It was a really good apology. He said that he had justified the whole thing to himself, but now he understood that his actions were wrong, and he was sorry that he hurt me. I think it was genuine. He was visibly upset when he found out I’d been having panic attacks about it. 

On the one hand, I don’t think he’s a threat to me anymore. He won’t pull that shit again. On the other hand, we aren't talking to each other anymore, and he’s avoiding me. In all honesty, I appreciate that, but even though I know I shouldn’t, I feel guilty for hurting him.

Haley said that he cried a lot after I left. I know that doesn’t change anything. No matter how genuine his feelings towards me are, they don’t excuse his behavior. He manipulated me, and even if it was for honest-to-God-Disney-princess-True-Love, he had no excuse to violate my trust or my autonomy like that. 

I still feel guilty. I’m actively repressing the urge to call and see if he’s okay. I’m not gonna do it, but the urge is there. 

It’s just been.... a week. I don’t know, guys. I’m struggling. 

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE THREE

“this was literally one of the worst decisions i've ever had to make so now i'm just kinda pissed off!” - nash

HOH: Nash UPSIDE DOWN: Joey & Saira NOMINEES: Brianna & Gina POV: Jacob FINAL NOMINEES: Emma & Gina EVICTED: Gina (11-1), Jake (WALK)

ARIA

https://youtu.be/SyHPQkbxxw8

JOEY

WATCH THIS AGE LIKE MILK:

I feel great!!!!! Nash winning means my ass aint going up, I gave her 2 tokens, and she gave me 1, and I feel fantastic heading into this week

SAIRA

i feel okay about nash being hoh, she wasn't my first choice but i don't think im in any danger of being nominated (hopefully haha) im not sure who i WOULD want to be nominated, i just know who i wouldn't want, so as long as they're okay i'm good!

JEV

I'm once again feeling pretty good this week. I've grown pretty close to Nash since nominating her in week 1 and she told me and Nathan we aren't going up so, there's that! She's told me Gina is going up and will be her target which I'm not thrilled about but hopefully Gina can pull some miracle and win POV. I'm a little worried about Emma and Jake too, as they've both said they haven't spoken to her much which is dumb, bc like hello??? its week 3, i feel esp with Jake, I can understand Emma bc Nash keeps leaving her on read but I don't think Jake has even tried much (crying emoji) So hopefully they can ALSO pull something out

JAKE

FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate everyone in this game t b h. why can't people just follow with a plan and go through with it like it aint that hard to put your chips on one person from your alliance so youre all safe like........ i dont think these ppl understand strategy and it's TIRING. i frankly am over people relying on their friendships to get themselves through another week bc fucking nash won an alliance-based hoh comp. now we have to deal w this fucking friend group running the house another week. i don't know if i'm safe i'm honestly probably going to be put up??? even tho nash is the one that CONSTANTLY ignores my PMs even tho ive given her paragraphs to respond to... she's gonna do whatever her little friends want her to do. i mean that's what she literally said to me. i was like pls don't nom me <3 and she was like "im not making any promises im just doing whatever the house wants me to do" like girl............ lkjghklsdfjhg what kind of dumbass bullshit response was that. just tell me you're putting me up or you're not. youre a big girl you can make your own fucking decisions.

i give nash what i would give any hoh if they won and that is "i'd never ever nominate you it's never even crossed my mind" and hoping that's enough to make her wanna keep me. she might think im not going after her but, if she's smart, she'll send me out the door this week before i can retaliate. 

im super super worried that jacob will be like oh jev n jake aligned in BBHOS9 u should put them up together since jev nominated you week 1. like i feel like she'd do ANYTHING jacob tells her at this point cuz shes just another one of his sheep so like hoping im good w jacob but he's such a wildcard idfk

at this point im just hoping me or emma don't get put up and if we do there will be a veto to be won and a nash/jacob to come after next so...... period

ARIA

yall i feel so fucking cracked and tired of everything but itS FINE!!! I got this easy peasy!! Im not going to always feel motivated but im doing my best and thats valid baby!!! So lets jump in, first off lets start with a random information dump of things i've collected

-jacob has talked about me w/ nicholas during pasio

-monty and jacob have a connection ( i dont even remember how)

-nathan nash (maybe jacob) obviously tight lmao

-joey monty close

-Jake made a counter alliance to Jacob's (actually joshes) alliance made of me gina saira emma and josh

-josh emma me alliance

-JOEY RECORDS CALLS

-Jake is wary of nathan (but also thinks hes cute ugh)

-told jake im wary of pasio peeps so he might nom them

-Jacob alliance STILL isnt created

-called with josh and told him that jacob is wary that the alliance isnt made yet

-jacob josh have a pregame

-told josh, saira and nick have a pregame

-josh kiki close

-josh thinks saira is a social threat 

-josh prefers jev over nathan

-told monty to talk to jake more

-told joshua jacob is the most connected person

-got back to nash gina doesnt like her

-jacob kiki nash confirmed trio alliance

-nash told jev gina is the target (jev then told jake)

-josh thought jacob was the original maker of the alliance

-jake thinks jacob/josh are snakes

-jake also thinks jacob-josh-nash-kiki-bri-nick-nathan are an alliance

-josh wants to play the middle w/ me :uwu:

 So from here I want to get into how my ideal week will go and how it will realistically go. IDEALLY Nash noms jev and josh with them not winning veto and the house gets rid of a utr social threat but realistically its gonne be gina and jake with gina going bc she doesnt talk to anyone of have any motivation for this game (I LITERALLY WROTE HER A PARAGRAPH TO SEND TO NASH TO NOT BE NOMINATED AND SHE GOES "hmm idk maybe ill send it" LIKE????) 

Okay the other thing im freaking out about is bc i feel like theres tension between me Jacob Josh and Jake and im not sure what it is about. I mean i kinda do but im missing key components. The whole situation just doesn't sit right with me at all and I feel very at odds with them in a weird kinda way. I've explained this so many times but i have such a bad feeling that josh leaked the janelle alliance to jacob and is more with him than me and now josh is setting these two sides against each other and i just heard from him that nash isnt nomming him so now im really uncomfy ughhhh i have such a bad feeling and i really need to work on people like jev saira monty to make sure i have people behind me i can fall back on, but also im getting the vibe jake really really trusts me which is great because i want to go far with him as well, unless hes just misting me SUPER hard ughhh

god i just have such a bad feeling about this week buts its fINE totally fine ill work it out eventually,,,but now its trust ranking time yay

1.Gina (youre so inactive i adore you!)

2.Joshua (kid GANG!!! thank you for trusting me sometimes <3)

3.Jake (hes a crackhead but hes my crackhead)

VERY BIG GAP

4.Emma (shes chilling what a lovely gal)

5.Monty (better inactive than be active and a threat)

6.Nathan (youre kinda sketchy but hes like a funky older brother)

7.Josh (youre at the center of a balancing act i wonder if u can keep it up)

8.Nick (they always give such an honest vibe,,,,,i dont trust it)

9.Brianna (shes so sweet but the sweetest angels make the fiercest demons)

10.Jev(,,,,your on slightly thicker ice than joey but combined with a little more charisma)

ANOTHER GAP WOOT WOOT

11.Joey (youre on THIN fucking ice buddy,,,,please be more open w/ me)

12.Saira (im begging for u to talk game to me,,, but also since we havent talked u cant snake me yet)

13. Jacob (idk ily sm but youre so fcking connected and idk if i reached ur inner circle yet)

14. Kiki (my favorite furry)

15.Nash (please talk to me im begging ill do anything please plsease plaease plae-)

So update ive been talking around and wow this game loves looking at my allies and kicking them in the kneecaps while spitting in their eyes ugh. So nash is probably leaning towards nomming jake and Gina with gina as the target (really weird that jake is nommed makes me think jacob had some influence there) but in that scenario best case is that veto is used and anyone but josh goes up and that person leaves easy fucking peasy!! Anyway i just talked with josh and apparently jacob was the one who came up with the alliance idea which is interesting bc he tried to pin it on josh. Anyways not to totally contradict my initial rant but me and josh had a really good chat where we're kinda in the same position between two groups (the og alliance and janelle) and we dont know if we should make the og alliance and with who bc of janelle so we're struggling to see whats the correct move from here....or maybe josh is completely misting me but i fucking hope not ugh- either way im surviving this week and thats that!!

JEV

I'm realising that I'm getting myself into a pretty tight position since I have firm alliances with Emma & Jake and Nash & Nathan, as well as being extremely close to Josh C, which could prove difficult for me down the line, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

KIKI

https://youtu.be/6cn8xUFWqhA

BRIANNA

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XvZzg3dTEZ89VeFbG3bxk4JFNtr7Ixm0/view?usp=sharing 

i had to use google drive bc it wouldn't take my file on youtube :((((

JEV

So right now I've somehow accidentally wriggled my way into conspiring with Nash on how best to take Gina out, which is so dumb of me because I don't really want to see Gina leave this week, but at the same time I'm having to fight Nash's decision because she wants to put Emma up beside her and... I can't let that happen because I'm worried Emma would leave over Gina

JEV

So I'm speaking to Nash, taking the heat off of Emma by telling her I feel she could be a number for me/her/Nathan down the line, and now I'm pushing for Brianna to go up since Nash wants someone who 100% wouldn't leave over Gina and I'm thinking like... WHO would vote to evict Brianna, but at the same time I'm feeling super terrible about it because Brianna is a literal angel

JEV

Wow a lot going on so I'm trying to update as best I can, Nash is saying she's going to randomise for who goes to the upside down so I'm having to encourage her not to include me or Nathan in the randomisation just incase she needs us for strategising but REALLY its so I can stay and hang around and try my best to keep Emma from touching the block at all this week.

NASH

sorry for nominating women i didnt mean it.

EMMA

If i am being honest the more this game goes by i get so unmotivated and its only week 3 i suck because well in bbgames like galar and almia i mostly played from the bottom now im like alright i kinda want to fuck up my game for fun but kinda pisses me off a bit that i almost could of been nominated if it wasnt for jev but that pisses me off so much i tried talking to nash but i get left on read i dont take things 100x personal unless if somebody is being mean like laughing etc but knowing that i would be on the block over brianna when i did try talking to nash its still hurts a little but if somebody like gina wins veto if i get on the block it issss what it isss i guess but i played on the bottom way to many times maybe i can do this??

JEV

So my efforts worked and Brianna went up instead of Emma, now I've just gotta hope neither of the noms win POV/that the POV isn't used so I don't have to throw someone elses name out there to Nash :flushed:

JOSH

hello ladies and gays. straights aren't welcome here.

today, we are feeling GOOD because the person we nominated just a few days ago won power and STILL didn't nominate me. is that iconnery or what? i was honestly ready for my ass to be TOAST but i did approach nash before they won HOH and had a conversation about where we stood and they said i would be OKAY this week bc we did start talking. we love to see it, yes we do!

the nominees this week are gina and brianna and.. even though i'm in two different alliances with both of them, i'm not mad at either of them going up. i don't REALLY talk with either and i'd be happy to see either one of them go. the tricky part will be figuring out WHO to vote when the time comes, but we have a POV to happen before we get there. we'll SEE.

if i had to choose, i'd probably send brianna home simply because i find her a bit CHAOTIC where i feel like gina isn't really going to cause a lot of waves with me. she's much more quiet whereas brianna is more likely to be able to pick herself back up.

some other fun events going on:

jake was NOT happy about nash winning and thought he was going to get nominated because of it. he was about to RIP nash a new one and is really brewing with how much he hates them. MAKES ME LAUGH A LIL BECAUSE IT WAS SO UNWARRANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS, it's something to note that jake does NOT like nash.

i think aria is my number one right now bc we get along really well and have very similar opinions. i'm really open with how i talk to her so i'm HOPING she's not spilling everything i say to someone else but i don't think she WOULD? i dunno. i love her energy and i'm hoping we can SLICE AND DICE together in the middle.

my strategy is to take my HOH under my belt and take a step back for a minute while my two alliances (one: jake, aria, gina, emma, saira, me & two: jacob, aria, brianna, kiki, me) get picked off back and forth. i'm going to see if i can craft a narrative for them to go after each other but we'll SEE. there are a lot of people in the middle i enjoy a lot more than some of the people in my alliances so IDK. i feel like some people got thrown into these alliances that i did NOT want but they were kind of forced in so i don't trust it. and i think people KNOW because i'm not very chatty abt it in the chats (and i haven't even made one of the chats. am i supposed to? idk)

anyways that's all for now x 

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zp71zzR-wgE

someone help

JAKE

https://voca.ro/g2ZQWs9x8du

JEV

Not miss Nash coming to me asking how I'd feel about being renom :flushed:

JEV

So I literally just woke up from a sleep and in the space of 30 minutes have had to talk Nash out of renomming me, Emma or Jake since we've just made an alliance together so I warned her that probably wouldn't work out for us in the long run. We narrowed it down and she shortlisted Aria, Josh C, Monty & Nick, and I have spun her to try and get her to nominate Aria, because 1. I don't wanna see Josh C go up and 2. like with Brianna I feel nobody here would vote to evict Aria, and Nash wants Gina GONE (crying emoji) so I feel this was the only logical renom to suggest.

JEV

The conversation has turned back to Emma and I just really don't wanna let that happen because I do feel like she'd leave over Gina. Part of me is saying not to stick my neck out too much to save Emma but at the same time she's my number 1 in this game and I hope she'd return the favour if she was in my position.

NASH

this was literally one of the worst decisions i've ever had to make so now i'm just kinda pissed off! 

ARIA

Well,,,, FBSFJDF I feel like im making so many of these but honestly this game changes everyday so please dont be too annoyed by me uwu, the mood swing i had just this DAY was insane so lets begin w/ the general info-

IN TIME LINE ORDER

-Jev told jake that something about noms but acted dumb when I asked

-Gina/Joshua/Aria alliance created!!

-Saira and Josh are close

- VIDEO DR GOES HERE

-Jake spills Emma-Jev-Nathan-Nash-Jake alliance with Emma/Jev/Jake being a trio as well= Jev created the alliance

-Jev prefers gina out

-jake doesnt believe in screenshots or recording calls

-Jev and Jake are close

-Jev/Jacob/Jake all played together before

-I leaked Bri's backups to Jake as well as Jacob's trio with Nash and Kiki

-nash almost backdoored jev bc he wasnt responding to her

-jev was the reason i was almost otb

-I WAS ALMOST OTB

-Josh AND Jacob both want Jake out

-Bri thinks nash's comp ability is scary

-Nash and Nick are close 

-Jacob nervous about Bri's backup leaking

-Jacob barely talks w/ saira and monty

-made a final three w/ jacob josh called malibu

So now im debating whether its morally okay for me to analyze what happened in the living room in a game sense. FBSdffan So lets run down things in chronological order and I might mention my thoughts if they arent too controversial, Nathan leaks the alliance with jev/nash/jake/emma. Eventually emma says 'i wanna know who put these thoughts in the hohs head" and nick starts to shut the discussion down which is an interesting contrast to their earlier attitude where they were very for the drama continuing, which leads me to begin they had some sort of hand in it. Nathan goes on to say he likes nash on a personal lvl which jake analyzes as a nod to a friendgroup and a mini confrontation between nathan and jake occur. I believe that part was just a misunderstanding on both parties account. Then happy discussion until Jake calls nash out for being in the diary session for too long which leads to a discussion of house guests over analyzing production and using that as a strategy which is ultimately unfair and also at this time I believe nash was going through itTM leading to their friends to be slightly defensive on their behalf (which is valid) and i after rereading things i really hope that they're okay, ultimately this leads up to frustration on Jake's part and his ultimate quit. 

I mean where do i go from here? I have the Bri's angels but that did get leaked to Emma on Jake's way out so i need to figure some way to micromanage that where i think im gonna make a emma jev alliance and work with them as a trio in the future (if gina goes) but rn i feel like this force of energy that is Bri's backups is gonna body for a bit but i think theyre gonna throw hoh leading me jev or emma to step up and body a bit. Like i think i might actually win hoh and nom nash and monty with a nick potential renom bc im BORED and nash continuing to skate by without even talking to me is not valid, and monty is so not here its like??? HEWWO??? but idk thats making big moves i may just chill a bit for now but i dont want jev and emma being targeted in the future bc theyre gonna be numbers for me and thats on PEWIOD!

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L25lY813N1k&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=4&t=0s

[jaellyhwan]

I was tagged by @kittenplaytaekwoon to answer some questions and so here we go

What was the last song you listened to?

Funny story(ish): I was like super pissed last night so of course my emo ass listened to to The GazettE’s A Moth Under The Skin

What was the first mv you saw of your ult group? What was your first thought?

Hyde! I fell in love with the song immediately and the video was cool sort of. I actually made a post about this here. JUST PUTTIN THIS OUT THERE: LEOS LOOKED GREAT. BRING BACK LONG HAIR TAEK (and this post is just me ranting)

You have to go on a 10 hour road trip. Which bias would you want navigating for you and why?

Ken! I’m a simple gal with few biases lol

What song not written by their group reminds you of your bias?

THIS

Copy and paste the tags from your last post.

#WHAT YHE FUCK#I JUST WOKE UP#I FEEL SO ATTACKED RN#MOMMY

how dare you expose me like this smh (it was a really hot photo of moonbyul let me LIVE)

Be honest here, who do you think had the worst debut aesthetic?

Idk, I don’t follow many groups tbh. Though not gonna lie Superhero wasn’t great. Like the song was hella good but asjadjlkf the hair styling and the outfits werent my style, they all looked so stiff

Everyone in your second favorite group is putting out solo stuff and you only have enough money for one album: whose do you buy?

You see, I normally just don’t have money for any albums so this is a new dilemma. My second favourite group is Mamamoo and they’re all talented af this is actually hard. Depends on the songs I guess? Like my bias is Moonbyul but I really like Wheein’s voice and Solar and Hwasa are also heccing talented. Really depends on the songs on their albums tbh.

Do you have any side blogs?

This is my sideblog :’) My main is @toplubdifo. As for other sideblogs I hoarded a couple of urls. I have some fic rec blogs but they’re really poorly run so if you’re curious just pm me about those. And I also run @peeee-n

What was the last thing you googled?

“18+6″ IM BAD AT MATH OK I HAD TO DOUBLE CHECK

What time is it right now and what are your plans for the rest of the day?

It’s 10:06am right now and I woke up a while ago. As for my plans, I’m gonna go shopping for my friends’ birthdays and then chill I guess.

This was fun!! I’m gonna tag @sprouthyuk @williamteaspears @shinwrons @fxck-vixx @rapperravioli @reila-ravkong @verse2wo @voodoostarlight @honeyjaehwan

And my questions will be:

What are your five favourite songs from your bias group?

What are your five favourite songs (kpop) not from your bias group?

What are your five favourite non-kpop songs?

Who is your bias and why do you like them? (Go crazy!)

What do you usually wear for winter/autumn/spring/summer? What’s your “style”?

For your bias group, what was your favourite hair style/era for each member?

How did you ““discover”“ kpop and how did you discover vixx?

What does your phone case look like?

Do you normally browse tumblr on your phone or on pc?

How are you doing? Got any plans for the day/night?

If yall don’t wanna do this, feel free to ignore it :)

[lil-pink-goblin-gal]

Ah? Rant 2 Week 2

i have a group i eat lunch with, and i just, think everyone hates me? so I made a cake to get them to not hate but than it turned out bad and made a huge mess which i was going to clean up but my dogs were fighting than my step dad got home and started cleaning and he cleaned everything up which was really good but I was already really upset and I was a dick but now i just wanna bake more things so people don’t hate me and I really don’t want to upset mire people?? my friend (who asked me out earlier this week) won’t make eye contact and i feel like im anyoing everyone and being weird with hand flapping and leg mooving since they keep on looking at me and when i was talking to my other friends they looked really annoyed??? and i don’t know, what to do? i might just stay up all night than bake some stuff in the morning once my step dad leaves or go pock up my medication? we have a weird half day. and im getting to school at 9:40 so yay anyway also at lunch today everyone was in their own conversation so i just, listened to music untill the bell rang than i booked it out. No one said bye. My other friend is, she’s nice, but she’s very obviously looking for attention? and honestly i feel so shit im thinking about ending my clean streak, i should probably see a therapist? i don’t like puting my emotions on other people since i, don’t ever feel like it’s equal? since im horrible at talking especially when someones having trouble with shit i jist, want to be a mystery to people but i get too hyper to do that? and just word vomit. my medication has been prescribed so thats fun. i should go pick it up actually. im gonna do that.