#if you know me well/have been around a while you prolly know thats not. good

[semiotomatics]

my life has already been in a state of slow motion collapse for months now, but i think i might be about to give it a push

[toiletepaperroll]

I KNOW I KNOW 2025 HASNT EVEN STARTED YET BUT HERES MY 2026 CADILLAC LINEUP (DELUSIONAL)

now, in this extremely long post that i will eventually prolly convert into a yuechube video at some point i will yap about everybody cadillac COULD take (extensive list, ive done my research folks, WITH PROBABILITY), who they SHOULD take ( my best lineup with "evidence" to support), and my hopes and dreams for a lineup. so, without further ado, lets get into it (under the cut)

EDIT (3/19/25): added more drivers and fleshed out some details

COULD

Zhou Guanyu (7/10) - why zhou? well, we all know about Ferrari's connection to cadillac (supplying supplies) and Zhou boy here is a Ferrari reserve driver. He also has connections to team principal, Graeme Lowdon.

Valtteri Bottas(8/10) - now i believe this is very likely. Bottas has the experience that Cadillac needs, and while he is a little old, he's still got it. he is currently a Mercedes reserve driver, but there has been friction in the team with Torger (Toto) Wolff. thats not very good for anybody.

Colton Herta (8/10) - "bUt CoLtOn Is AmErIcAn AnD hE hAs EvErYtHiNg cAdIlLaC wAnTs WhY iSn'T hE a TeN oUt Of Ten?" Cadillac wants Colton, but does Colton want Cadillac? when asked the question sometime ago, he stated that he was "happy where he was". also, Andretti is reportedly paying him $$$ (some write more he gets paid more than F1 race winner Oscar Piastri). however, we all know Andretti, GM, and Cadillac are linked, and Cadillac *really* wants Herta.

George Russell (4/10) - George isnt stupid and neither is Toto.

Kimi Antonelli (2/10) - Toto's not letting Kimi go anywhere.

Dino Beganovic (6/10) - way back in '23 everybody was SO sure Dino was going to WEC hell, but an amazing two F2 seasons really turned that opinion around. Part of the FDA, Dino also has connections with Ferrari, and currently no seat for 2026. Right now the twenty-one year has an F2 seat with HiTech Racing through the 2025 F2 season.

Paul Aron (5/10) - Paul is currently an Alpine reserve, but i have a sinking feeling that he's not getting that seat anytime soon. Good driver, shit team. (fuk u alpine). He's also got the marketability and all of Estonia behind him.

Franco Colapinto (3/10) - on the topic of Alpine drivers, we have the infamous Franco Cola-bin-to. A Williams replacement for Logan Sargeant (rip my boy Logan i hope ur ok) the Argentinian driver instantly captured the hearts of thousands of fans. also v marketable. will probably have the Alpine seat for 26 and like half of 2025 once they inevitably drop

Jack Doohan (5/10) - rumors say he's only got a contract for the first 5 races of the 2025 season and i wholeheartedly believe he should fire his manager because what the fuck? anyways he's rated p low because i doubt Cadillac is anywhere near his list of choices

Logan Sargeant (2/10) - now, if theres anything you should know about me, you should know im a big Logan fan. like ive been following his career since F3 big fan. up until very recently (yesterday 2/18/25) i and the rest of the wider motorsport world thought he was going to race in ELMS with IDEC and Genesis, and that through Genesis, he would break into WEC. WE. WERE. WRONG. IDEC motorsport announced Logan's retirement sometime yesterday afternoon. it sounded like the team themselves didn't know. i hope he's ok. anyways he's raced 1 1/2 seasons with Williams, and although he crashed quite often, he was still a great driver. another case of the great driver shit car combo (fuk u james vowels and upper williams management)

Liam Lawson (idk bro) - Liam doesn't have an F1 seat for '26 and tbh he's just a wildcard to me. theres no facts to support this one becuase I do not know what Red Bull is doing out here.

Sergio Checo Perez (6/10) - on the topic of Red Bull boyz, we have Checo. Checo, much like Valtteri, brings the experience of a top team with him. However, he has been much less successful than Valtteri, and thus i am rating him lower. Checo is well known for his technical feedback, which is important for a rookie team to have.

Jak Crawford (7/10) - another up and coming american driver, and has 33 super licence points i believe. ummm this means he has to finish fourth? fifth? in the F2 championship to get enough super licence points. good driver and all that jazz hope he makes it

Kyle Kirkwood (2/10) - I just don't see it. He needs an ABSURD amount of super licence points that he just doesnt have and he's pretty happy at Andretti. fuck you will buxton.

Alex Palou (1/10) - absolutely not. with the legal battles and everything its just not gonna happen. like yeah this guy is out here pulling a 2023 Max Verstappen style domination in a sport where that should not be happening and is structured to actively prevent that but the legal battles are really harming him here. also im gonna say i think hes pretty happy at CGR im ngl but the LEGAL BATTLES OH GOD THE LEGAL BATTLES are just gonna prevent that.

SHOULD

honestly I believe the best Cadillac/GM lineup would be some combo of Valtteri/Zhou/Dino. all three bring their own special skills and i could see any of these three as strong contenders. Valtteri brings the experience, of how a top team operates, as well as racing knowledge. Zhou is a good driver period, and has a lot of money backing him up. Dino brings in a fresher perspective, and a youth to the team to balance everything out. However, unlike the others, he has not had any experience in F1. to balance that out, he is very marketable to the youth. Valtteri is also very marketable, esp to teens and men in their 40's.

MY HOPES AND DREAMS (DELUISION)

Logan and Mick

Dino and Paul

Valtteri and Zhou (yes i know they were already teammates shush)

ANYWAYS THATS ALL THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR (can you tell where i got tired while writing this?). lmk about your opinions and what you think about my opinions. feel free to argue with me about this in my asks or dms or the replies of this post! also PLEASE TELL ME IF I MISSED ANYTHING!!! have a nice week. yuechube video will be uploaded soon i think!

[jazzically]

thoughts on various tma episodes

omfg now im thinking about this one hilarious exchange i read between nikola and jude in a fanfic and it was just all about how stupid the exterminator guy from mag 87 was

(the fic seems to have mistook megan for nikola but all the same)

mag 34: OOOH interesting. while i was trying to find the number of the episode i was looking for, i stumbled across the wiki, which says that anatomy class (34) was stranger-related?? i thought it was flesh (alas, my shallow first-impressions-are-probably-accurate mindset sabotaged me) but tbh stranger makes much more sense.

also i think it's perfect that breekon and hope are stranger-affiliated because that baaaasically makes them a neutral party as well. like nikola seems perfectly affable around most other avatars

omg i love her so much shes fantastic

mag 118: OHHHHH, i forgot i still had questions. yes ok so. i didnt know what jon was talking about at the end of season 3 about the anglerfish and "i thought it just ate the rest of the bodies" but wiki explained. thank you wiki youre a lifesaver. also GROSS. also that's fantastic i love love love the anglerfish cuz like it returns in s3 and has modest plot relevance and ties back to the very beginning but it's also not like the penultimate reveal or anything dramatic or full-circle-type cliche. (of course also bc i think the idea of a puppeteer monster is really freaking coollllll)

i dont think i appreciated s3 enough!!!! sigh

is it s2 or s3 when jon's been accused of murder and everybody avoids him? i forget

prolly s2 bc thats Spooky Tunnel Time: Gertrude's Body Is Apparently Under the Institute (and Basira!! Yay!!!!) (also Stupid Motherfucking Avatar of the Whore Jurgen Leitner. or is he s3 ??)

mag 54: OHHHHHH THE SPOOKY BODY IN THE BASEMENT WAS THE ANGLERFISH I SEEEEE (i loved that statement a lot but that random part at the end confused me up till now)

(if you cant tell im just going through a list of stranger-related statements now)

Listed on the article for the Stranger:

Hmm i rather thought 122 was the lonely or the extinction

mag 101

I FREAKING LOVE THIS ONE. RELISTENING!!!!! SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU MICHAEL

i also adore michael's voice actor like. hiS LAUGH SOUNDS LIKE THAT NATURALLY IT'S FANTASTIC

the editing on michael's voice is GORGEOUS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

i am the throat of delusion incarnate

i am michael

i was not always michael

i do not want to be michael

being michael stole the only purpose i have ever known

i just reALLY REALLY LOVE how in earlier episodes, the avatars seem to make no sense but then you listen back and realize that their ominous one-liners were not said just for the sake of intimidation but actually had meaning relevant to their patrons and canonical reason to be scarily and annoyingly cryptic i love it so much

gosh jon would u shut up and let my boy michael speak /j (despite being frustrated with the avatars and the mystery alongside jon at first listen, i now sympathize with the avatars' frustration with the archivist in earlier episodes. which. i mean. that's just amazing)

MAN AUGH THAT WAs sO GOOD rip michael im gonna miss you so much but also i love you helen im sorry i couldnt adjust to new things at first i adore them both

BTW MICHAELS DEATH SCREAM WAS INCREDIBLE possibly my favorite scream in the entire series

[neaxsfiction]

Bakugo comfort fic please 🥰

Bakugo's a character I've not read many things about but I'll try my best to portray his personality the best way possible. Its a bit rushed but i did my best. Thanks for the request ❤️

Bakugo comforting his friend

I knock softly on his bedroom door hoping I am not disturbing him. I just need to talk to him.

He opens the door after a few seconds. His hair is messy and semi wet, he prolly was after shower. He was wearing a black tanktop and some matching sweatpants and also the usual angry expression he always has.

"Whatcha want at this hour?" He scoffs.

"I needed to talk to someone" I reply truthfully.

It's gonna be a rough night tonight.

"Shut up and come in" he growls and gets inside his room

He sits on his bed and glares at me.

I take a deep breath and start speaking. I tell him how my ex boyfriend dumped me some hours ago. I explain him what that guy meant for me. I cannot help it, when I flashback our memories, tears slip out of my eyes. How could he do this to me?

For a split second I thought his eyes softened as I was tearing up and explaing him. It must've been the tears though, Bakugo is never being soft for anybody, not even his closest friends. I think he has never seen me that way before so thats why seems to listen to me carefully.

"Told ya from the start he was a piece of trash" he spits out after bearing my meltdown.

I find myself tearing up more. How could he say that now?

"Stop being so weak. It's just an average guy. Nothing special about him." He explains. His anger seems to have toned down and he seems invested in this conversation.

No, bakugo is not like that.

"He was my first love..." I manage to say to him between my sobs, not knowing what else to say at this point.

Maybe I was the stupid one for not seeing his red flags from the start.

"And? Are you gonna let it be your last as well?" He asks and his tone softens.

"I don't know..." I say in pure despair.

"He wasn't good for you. If you find a guy as great as me - if that's possible, you won't have such a problem again" He explains with a rasp on his voice.

My sobs calm down a bit after his words. Maybe he was right. Maybe not. Maybe my head's too much of a mess to be able to think properly.

I notice him stand up and heading towards me. He looks at me with a soft expression. Maybe I didn't imagine that earlier.

He places his hand on my head and raises it so I can look at him directly in the eyes.

"Next time show me that you actually have a proper taste to guys." He smirks coming close to my face.

I nod and his words are traveling around my brain. Maybe I actually need to get some better taste in guys.

He stares deeply into my eyes as if he's unfolding my memories with my ex boyfriend and slowly remove the feelings behind them. Does that guy have a second quirk?

He lets me stay a bit in his room and we have fun while talking about cringy moments with my ex. Maybe he's right about him. At least I will now think of those moments and will be mentally thanking him for dumping me.

He offers to take me to my room that night. That's so strange of him, he never does that but anyway.

"Wanna make him jealous?" He asks jokingly.

"If it means to regret dumping me, then hell yes" I reply with the same playful tone he has.

"I'd help you in that." He says and for the first time that night he stares to the floor as we reach my bedroom door.

There is an awkward silence for a few seconds that totally ruined the playful mood.

What did he say again?

"Goodnight. Please don't cry over that douchebag." He says now looking at you with an almost apologetic look in his eyes. After that he slowly walks away.

"Goodnight to you too. I won't, I promise, and-" I say without thinking straight at this point.

He stops as I haven't finished my phrase and turns around, tilting his head to the left expecting me to continue what I was saying.

"I'd let you help me." I finish off my sentence and quickly open my room's door hiding behind it.

~

Bakugo pic

[armedinkblot]

i dont make fan theories often bc i tend to daydream off into things that cant possibly be real, but i think maybe this new mimic game preview, where they look like puppet, proves a theory i had a while ago

hear me out please

charlie is glamrock freddy

OKAY OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT THOUGH-

SO in security breach we know that something is odd with freddy. logically ive always kinda chalked it up to the fact he probably has the best antivirus bc hes the lead man so thats why he doesnt attack gregory after vanny's tampering bc personally ive never felt good about michael possessing him

(i get why people like that but michael was only kept alive bc of the scoopers remnant, so if you guys want him to be the mc in fnaf6 hes gotta be dead, pick one please i see good fuel for both)

so who is freddy??? well hold onto your socks bc i got something that you mightve already thought about idk BUT someone in the fnaf6 ending was never a remnant being and wasnt shown dying--

we get so many hints at puppet everywhere (the wiring, the dolls, yanno youve prolly seen them pointed out already), but there is no mention of charlie/puppet ANYWHERE by name to gregory

so heres my idea:

we know through sources that remnant is what happens when soul matter touches metal, and that if there is no reaction between a souls agony and some kinda steel, remnant aint happenin. remnany is functionally what made william/springtrap 'immortal' and michael survive ennard. we know thats what henry was aiming to melt down to undo the binding of the souls and the metal in fnaf6.

but puppet was never metal. every time we see puppet, it floats around or wiggles like a plushie. puppet is a fluffy soft toy that clearly does NOT have any bones.

wibbly wobbly

we also see it half-transparent in hallways, like- oh yanno- A GHOST???

i know fnaf has strayed further away from the haunted aspect and more into scifi, but what if puppet was our tie to classic haunts this whole time?

id like to point to this line that glamrock freddy says the first time you visit the fnaf6 sinkhole with him:

THE FIRST HALF OF THE MESSAGE: puppet/charlie definitely HAS been here before as we see in fnaf6, and we know that in between fnaf6 and help wanted old fazbear workers brought circuits torn out of scraptrap from the fnaf6 ruins to silver parasol games for scanning and utilizing, and thats more than likely where glitchtrap came from, but what does freddy mean by this?

im not sure exactly

you could argue that its cassidys vengeful spirit forcing charlie to continue clinging to earth in freddy ("she brought me here" if you consider cassidy to be a lil girl) which i personally would not put forcing their friend's spirit to haunt earth as long as part of afton is active past them, theyre a spiteful lil shit) but this isnt the meat of my theory so ill leave it

now the other half of the message, about glamrock freddys friends being angry and confused, really has the same vibe as these two puppet ucn lines to me

i think if theory this is true, this also could be good news for the moltenmci theory that i also subscribe to

ANYWAY these lines have similar energy to me, what with the whole "i am fine and calm but these guys? YEESH theyre cray" thing.

lemme tie it together real quick:

charlie dies and her ghost decides "hey i should stick around to stop william and maybe help those lost babies" so she possesses puppet!

the fact shes a complete spirit and not just the raw emotion from remnant means shes way way WAY more coherant and clever than the other animatronics

in fnaf6 shes put in lefty, which i think henry did to try and force charlies spirit to become remnant by interacting with the animatronic's metal, but it doesnt work bc charlies already a ghouly ghoul and aint havin that

so when the pizzeria simulator place burns down, sure the puppet and lefty were gone but was charlie's spirit? NO bc it wasnt remnant! fire doesnt touch ghosts silly casette man!!!

thats why, lemme draw your attention to the fact that CHARLIE IS NEVER SHOWN GETTING FREED:

SHES NEVER SHOWN IN THE ENDING BC ITS SYMBOLIC FOR HER STILL BEING AROUND

so what happened after that? well security breach takes place in and above the sinkhole that once was the fnaf6 location. spirits, in many folklores, do not tend to stray too far from their resting place most of the time

so if charlie, now a freed spirit with nowhere to go and nothing personal to possess (sorry about your puppet), finds out that afton is still possessing endoskeletons and having his brainwashed people kill people for funsies bestie? she aint having that

this was the kid that decided instead of just passing on to heaven or whatever, to STAY BEHIND AND HELP THE OTHER KIDS TAKE WILLIAM DOWN. she is described by henry as selfless and always helping others instead of herself

also need i remind you of charlies most famous act of trying to help (but accidently making things worse by prolonging the suffering instead of 'giving life'?)

this bitch would 100% possess the strongest thing she could to try and stop him, the strongest being glamrock freddy.

now after years of being manipulated into being freddy and acting as him/working with his programming, she might not have a clear understanding of who she once was. so, when glamrock freddy says "i found myself for the first time when i cleared the path" what if he means she remembered what she originally came here to do?

what if she left all the calling cards on purpose? what if she left the plushies around as a reminder of who she is so she doesnt forget why shes still tied to earth? so she remembers to stop afton instead of just let the programming take over?

bc if you remember, we're all fairly certain william only runs away to balloon boys voice in fnaf3 bc of the animatronic's programming it wouldnt be too out of place for charlie to struggle with it too, tho in a different way.

as for mimic...

the REAL reason i wanted to bring it up is bc this looks like puppet. this music box plays the puppet song my grandfathers clock, and then mimic pops out.

the most common question i see is why mimic is referencing puppet, and my theory explains that:

if charlie is in the pizzaplex, then mimic probably knows all about her. everything about her. tales from the pizzaplex has an ongoing plotline where mimic is literally stalking and studying the other characters obsessively, so whos to say his connection in the baobab tree didnt get him access to ""memory files"" or whatever its called when agony/remnant is imprinted on circuitry like with scraptrap and glitchtrap.

so yeah, heres my theory on what happened to charlie and whos REALLY possessing glamrock freddy!!!

i wrote this at 6AM after pulling an all nighter sorry if its hectic and poorly written; i actually wanna make a theory video bc i really think i have something substantial here, but idk how well recieved this would be hehe

i will also accept chica being possessed by charlie bc of twisted animatronic's videos on chicas crying and fighting the hacking

thanks for reading!!! pls be nice im scared lol

[peacockrulz]

youre so right about narration!! i could go on all day really, its the biggest thing for me that takes a fic from good to great, especially with characters like j- characters with a persona of sorts, characters that lie to themselves or are in denial, or characters with a lot they need to sort through, and j is sort of all three in some capacity. i cannot wait for hostile takeover to update! if you ever decide to try writing a fic id love to give it a read! ive noticed you have a lot of interesting ideas about characters and their dynamics through your fanart, something i think could translate to writing well. you also clearly have an understanding of what makes a fic good- though i know from experience its often easier said than done. still, id love to see you try! this is actually my first time rp-ing canon characters, ever. right now im playing j (thanks hostile takeover) in a discord server, though i might try n soon because i reaaallly struggle with characterizing him. ive been roleplaying my whole life really! i started with roblox warrior cats though... im shuddering with you id kill for more dollxn art from you though. no pressure but you get them it seems. its been a while since i listened to final girl but its definitely their song suggestive lyrics or not i hope they die and go to robo-hell together <3 - juzi anon

*sigh* putting this under a readmore because HOO BOY did I maybe went full analyzer on this one. thanks for your time Juzi Anon <3

I've read alotta fics in my time on the internet and honestly? I don't think I've ever read a fic that hooked me on a character narration quite like Hostile Takeover's J. J's awareness of every part of what shes doing and how shes doing it makes it even more subtle when you realize that despite all of that, she has so little awareness over what she thinks. Like she doesn't question it. Uzi's narration makes a point to show how she censors her own thoughts, she doesn't allow her mind to wander to certain parts of the past, shes completely aware of how some thoughts sound and decides against saying it all together. Meanwhile, J will go on and on about how much better the job would be without V's constant talking back and N's inability to do anything right, and in the same paragraph be constantly thinking about the argument with V, and what got V so messed up to begin with. J is like a rock, a precipice of confidence. But the moments where she doesn't know what to do, (like when she thought she was going to die in that church tower from the rising sun) its almost like she has to put on appearances even in a moment where shes completely panic-ed, that she still somehow has to pretend she knows what shes doing, even with no one around. Its why the fic made me rethink J in general, I've loved J for while but Hostile Takeover was the first time I actually was able to SEE what J could be as a character story. It really puts into perspective how important narration can be in telling a damn good story. (Sorry this became a J paragraph. I could analyze fics for the rest of my life and be happy lol)

Haha maybe one day I'll finally sit down and write. I'm not really the greatest at translating my thoughts to text, for some reason its easier for me to illustrate my feelings about a character then to write it out. The only reason I can draw fanart like that is because I analyze these characters to death lol. Looking at all the angles of two characters and then asking the question of 'what would it take for them to be on friendly terms' is a pass time I indulge it frequently!!!! Thats why I like rarepairs, sometimes they're dynamics are alot more unique than most, even if they're 2 characters that have never once canonically interacted (which is my favorite. Alot more creative thinking with that one yknow?) Still, maybe I'll get to it :O (prolly would practice writing analysis post first. because I always have to stop myself from doing it on other posts XP)

I've also grew up on roleplaying (my brother is into roleplaying and that got me started on it lol) used to roleplay on roblox even before I could read (which. isn't a joke actually. who gives a 5 year old unrestricted internet access???) funnily enough I can't even say I ever completely grew out of it, I still visit alot of roleplay maps on roblox (including WCUE!! never actually roleplayed there but I think its fun to spec) but mainly I used to roleplay on animal-based mmos like FeralHeart in my younger days.

Iffff,,, I could say anything about N's character,,, to hopefully help inspire some ability to write him (and sorry this gets its own paragraph) I would probably say that he is a very self-destructively selfless person, whos never gotten over anything or anyone in his life (I.e when V was in stasis during their time in the manor, N constantly visited her and would draw pictures of the two of them together ((as lizards)) and is kinda implied to have been reading books to her during this time. Even after getting 'digitally lobotomized', while N couldn't exactly remember V as he knew her back then, he still carried that affection he had for her all that time ago. He never stopped caring about V, even when he forgot) while I wouldn't describe N as in anyway 'innocent' or 'naive', N still has a habit of unconditionally caring about pretty much anybody lol. He had like, what, a 27 minute conversation with Uzi? And while it wasn't enough to completely convince him, it still was something that made him hesitate ("I really enjoyed our time together,"). And while I'm here (having mentioned Uzi) I would also say N is a very lonely character, seeing as he was often belittled by his peers (J) or in some cases completely ignored (V, but she had her reasons and thats a different discussion) a funny part of N's character is just how much he IS like Uzi. A person completely isolated by his kind because of how he is, who was never given an explanation as to why, why everyone is so oddly cruel to him. The biggest difference though being that N never fought it, he completely accepted getting knocked around if it meant he could stick around. It took someone else to point out how fucked his situation was to make him think twice about it. Uzi is the type of character to go down kicking screaming and punching(asterisk but thats also a different discussion), and N, despite being in such a similar place to her, isn't that kind of guy. While I wouldn't say N is the type to take everything lying down, there is something to say about just how much he is willing to take before getting angry, yknow? Overall, I think N is a very loving, loyal-to-a-fault, kinda guy, but his compassion for those around him is often times the reason he gets so tunnel-visioned in the first place (i.e causing explosions and throwing rocks and debris everywhere in a mass, angry panic, trying to go save V.) and its why he is so willing to get himself hurt in the first place. ("I really enjoyed our time together, but I can't have you shooting V with that thing.") (Or yknow, cutting his arm off, but thats alot less selfless-ness and alot more self destruction) His patience and understanding is one of his biggest strengths and somehow always the reason he gets hurt. Basically I think he need to go a lil insane as a treat.

((Oh its also good to note that his unconditional love for everyone around him is also the only reason why he has lived this far to begin with (the characters this includes: V, Uzi, AND Cyn.)))

I also think the above, is the reason why I enjoy NxDoll so much. it takes SO MUCH for him to hate someone and yet Doll did the one thing that would make him do it (hurting someone he cares about the most). I just knoooowwww if they saw eachother in that church it would've been ON. That fight would've taken out the whole god damn BUILDING. it would be two people fighting for the exact same fkcing reason!!! REVENGE!!! the horrible chain of trauma contuines with them!!! killing one will only leave the other with what remains!!!! And yet I also see them as two people who would really benefit from being on friendlier terms. Both becasue N's softness is just not something we ever see Doll treated with, and because Doll's avocation for justice might just be the thing N needs to get a god damn backbone for once and earn himself some self-appreciation.

But I also think its more fun when its enemies AND lovers.

They should make eachother worse <3

[embeddedsystems-shius]

Y'all I've been awake since 4 am. Its 7 now.

Like ya know what? I've given up.

I think sleep is just not gonna be something I'm good at, until I can get my mental (and physical) shit sorted. Depression can go suck my imaginary balls

That being said, now that I'm ACTUALLY remembering who tf I am - yo I just gotta ask someone.

Why am I so aggressive, bro???

Like bro who hurt you man (its me)

I'm starting to really find that I'm really just a light-trigger kinda person. I'd probably fly off the handle at anything, if I didn't have self-control.

Which I didn't use to have.

I was probably just a VERY dangerous person, at one point.

Quite literally - me being medicated and then subsequently beat down by the entire world was PROLLY a good thing, cause otherwise the person writing these logs down (me) wouldn't BE here. I'd either be fuckin dead via death row (that was the INITIAL goal), or just shot on the street.

The first adults who got literally ANYTHING through my thick skull were literal convicted criminals.

They're one of the biggest reasons why I'm who I am today.

I think I said on stream once, that I've met both the BEST and WORST types of people in my lifetime, right? Cause I'm being legit when I say that I've been around pretty much everyone, bro.

When I got kicked out of school at 18 - I wasn't kicked out because of the 'incident'... Which, I'll explain later, about. Maybe one day, when I get the guts to do so. But yeah.

I was actually kicked out a few months after the fact, cause the PNP head psych took a look at me, and gave me the forensic label of a "Youth Psychopath".

Technically, before 2014 I believe - Psychopathy was a clinical diagnosis as well.

Imma let you look up what a "Youth Psychopath" is yourself, but the best way I can explain it is a "a young psychopath with IMMEDIATE need for medical intervention/guidance, that can possibly be strayed from full-blown psychopathy".

So yeah, I was CLINICALLY labeled a criminal in the making - which is why I got kicked, because I was considered a legitimate threat within school grounds. I haven't been able to go back on that campus since. I'm pretty sure I might still not be allowed in.

But the point being, is that at the ripe age of 18 years old, straight outta the hospital - I lost almost everything I had. And it was all my fault, too.

I almost couldn't graduate highschool; there was one school that accepted me in after, but thats cause they were the type of private school in the Philippines that would accept ANYBODY in - given enough money.

Mind, shit like that's more common than you'd probably expect. Everywhere in the world, honestly.

It's actually where I met my favorite group of filthy degenerate misfits - the only group of fuckers who accepted me for who I was, because they were JUST as fuckin broken and flawed, as I was.

This was the only school that even remotely accepted them in - and now, that schools fuckin gone, too. Lmao.

Even then, they weren't convicted criminals. Juvi doesn't count.

The people I'm talking about where the people I met while in the mental hospital - this hospital being one of the most (and only) high-profile mental asylums in the Philippines, at the time.

And yes, the word "Mental Asylum" is accurate to what it was. There ain't much in the Philippines for that kinda shit. Still isn't.

I was put in with a group of others, in the mental ward right beside the morgues.

I remember that bit clearly - because you gotta get strapped onto a stretcher to even enter the basement floors, and get escorted into the mental ward. There ain't much else to see, unless you're interested in looking at the screaming freaks who'd probably count as your next roommates for the coming weeks.

There was a lot of random screaming from grown-ass adults. All the time.

There was a lot of wailing and crying and laughing for no reason - but mostly it was just people talking to themselves. Making aimless rounds around the nurse center room, shooting dirty looks at anyone who tries to make eye contact with them.

There was a lotta different types of patients; of course there were the schizophrenics, the down syndrome adults with personal nurses - but the main demographic I fell into was with the criminals and rich drug addicts (because drug usage generally also counts as pretty heavy criminal activity, in the Philippines). These were the types of people who were either rich enough to avoid jail time, or mentally fucked enough to be court ordered outta the prison system.

Because this was the highest profile mental ward in the entire Philippines at the time - the facilities weren't exactly... Accessible, to just your average joe. You needed to be absolutely FUCKED to find yourself in there.

For the longest time, I was the youngest patient there (by a long shot) - because I was still a damn teenager. First time I was 17, turning 18 in the next month.

This was how bad my case was considered to be. Although it ofc probably also helped that my parents were rich.

We weren't allowed to share any real names.

None of us were allowed any way to really research who anyone else was, either. No tv cable, no online anything - we were basically disallowed from disclosing who we were to anyone else, as well.

The question "what got you in here?" Was something we basically asked in whispers, when the nurses weren't directly observing us.

I was one of the rare female inmates, but I didn't really look like, or act like a girl. It made things a little complicated for me.

It was a mixed ward, but the actual gender ratio felt more like a 2:8. The other women who were in, were being treated more for things like hysteria - a lot of whom were middle to older agee ladies who'd lost children, family, or other loved ones. They were really nice, but they mostly just saw me as a shadow of their own sons.

It mostly became a problem when they'd come barging into me and my roommates quarters in the dead of night (there was this one specific lady who liked me a LIL too much, to the point that she'd come in sobbing to hug me and stuff. I don't really understand tagalog that well, but apparently she kept wailing about her "baby boy" when she entered. I guess I look liked one of the people she was grieving).

Its probably one of the reasons why getting hugged without consent makes me kinda panic, honestly.

But yeah, me being mistaked as somebody's son was a kind of consistent thing for me.

In the end tho - the way I am worked to my own favor.

Before I even go any further with this topic - here's a picture of how I looked, back then.

This pics taken like a year or so later, but yeah.

There's a reason why everyone mistook me for a boy. The other apects were probably my personality, and possibly my voice. Though I'm not entirely sure about that.

Regardless, the friends I made were the adult men that everyone else considered to be "violent criminals". They were the only ones who really got me, and what I was going on about.

These men - some of whom were rumored to be rapists, or murderers of some sort - were the only ones who looked me in the eye and told me that "it isn't worth it".

They were the only ones who gave it to me straight. They were the only ones who really understood the weight of the guilt that would follow after those kinda actions. The kinda shit that follows after the red, and the blinding fuckin rage.

It was the men with the blood on their hands, that were the only ones ABLE to convince me off the path I was going on.

Taking the life of someone else isn't fuckin worth it. Because the blood will last on your skin, and the blood will stain.

It will contaminate you - and it won't let you ever fuckin leave.

You never get out, once you cross that line.

The weight behind their words scared me of course, but what convinced me more than anything - was the fucking pain that I heard in their voices when they said that shit.

There was something there that nobody could ever erase after the fact, and not even God would dare save them. Not even God could save them from themselves.

...I'm probably gonna need to talk more about the mental hospital one day, because it was honestly one of my more formative time periods in becoming who I chose to become today. But there's a lot there. I quite literally can't go through it all at once.

To end this, though - my first mentors were always the violent men. The ones with regrets, and the ones who knew blood.

It's why I listen to them.

The people that we consider "irredeemable".

Regardless of what they've done - they're still human beings, just like you or me.

Maybe some are beyond saving; and maybe most are. But they're still complicated, living, breathing people. They aren't just "criminals" or "low-lifes". Nobody is TRULY only the title that they carry.

And if they know something that I don't - if they're willing to tell me something with a genuine interest in making me end up not as they are - I am going to listen to them.

They will teach me shit I'd never even considered, before.

[anarchistbitch]

well it's not like according to tradition I replied in a timely manner lmao dont worry about it

sfjkfjsdk me too, i dont usually make playlists, i just leave everything in my liked and shuffle it and let it be what the universe dictates but idk i felt like getting them into one playlist

well if you add pepa pig id burst out laughing in the middle of a call probably and one of my work friends would probably shout "send her to sleep" bc thats what we say when we send clients back bc we cant do anything from our end so it would be funny and we would just ultimately skip it lmao

im looking forward to whatever songs you add, the playlist is long as fuck already tbh so it might take a while for the oli london song to come on

SFGDSJKFGDS well in my defense I had to ask bc i didnt know how long youve been on tumblr so yeah (shiro's cloning and the episode about it and the fight with keith)

anyways i motherfucking hated that they exploded adam and then tried to console us with curtis but anywaaaaaaay the fanfic is dirty laundry which if you were in the fandom i doubt you didnt end up hearing of it or at least the discourse around it but anyway it got deleted but i had it downloaded so have a google drive link https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwU9LMiUJoN7RjFWSGZVUlJQd1U/view?

yeah, the whole not enrolling classes in uni is a mess and i try not to think about it too much rn (i am seeing a therapist and i hope that by next year i have figured out what i want to do) but i like my job, we(my team)'re actually planning to rent a house and stay there a weekend very soon to celebrate our supervisor's bday :'3

making choices that will greatly impact our futures is seriously so hard, and i also not qualified for any career advice but manifesting that whatever you choose in the end allows you to be happy

just last night it started raining hard so i got up to turn off the fan but then like two minutes later i got up to turn it on again bc even tho it was raining it is still so fucking hot, seriously hate the weather rn

god mountains are so preetty, specially when the weather is cool and they get all foggy

atsv is a masterpiece and it continues from itsv so damn well, i really do love it and i hope hollywood gets up it's ass and pays their workers what they're owed so we can see it soon

KJSDFJKSDFHJS i am still seeing so many miguel o hara edits everywhere for real, i gotta say tho im in love with hobie and pavitr

JKSHFJS i used to do something similar with fob, i had a lot of them printed out and would put them on my binder cover so that i could memorize the lyrics so i was all day everyday singing them until i memorized it and the changed it for another song

idk how id rank fob albums, its so hard when theyre soo good but i really do love so much for stardust, aside from that one i think my favs are save rock and roll and american beauty american pyscho, mania was the first album i was a fan of them when it came out so it has a special place in my heart as well

my special lyric is part time soulmates full time problem, ive always been a fan of soulmate aus and hhhhhhhh just makes my brain smooth, also we started off as shiny dimes but we got flipped too many times, we did it for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never going to change 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

cheers to us and our interesting meeting jdfshjf

love you and i hope you have a good week :3 get plenty of rest and fun and water!!

-M

i feel like if we had a competition on late replies i would emerge victorious😎(crying inside)

honestly fall is prolly the best time to make playlists[not that im gonna, but sure is a nice time yk] but ahhhh anyway!!!! havent added anything but u will know when i add it <3

check hello tumblr user nonbinarymikaela pls provide access to the drive check [i checked out of any fandom drama cause i had so many exams that yr lmao. only time the edu system saved me]

[this is me actually hi]

honestly idek if i like my degree rn, like i really wanted to go for a history degree a couple years back before i changed my stream[its a whole educational system thats actually fucking fucked in india i hope it dies soon💜] but on the flip side - it was pretty hard to get a spot in my uni anyway so now im just in a whirlpool of smth. bleh

thinking of how next year is so close is like skewering me and roasting me like a kebab😭😭😭😭[but like dont keep a strict timeline yk, ur like seriously cool and i think any decision you take will be the best as along as your the one taking it ] [i wish i had answered this earlier so i couldve wish you good time on ur retreat but i hope it was good anyway💜💜💜💜💜💜💜]

man i need to like seriously cope up with my decisions cause i need to take an exam for my career which is seriously sooo..... but yea thats how its going

omg its raining here too and my college[which is seriously just a reformated jungle] turned into a swamp ish and they STILL didnt cancel classes. and i forgot my umbrella. i came back home like a sad wet cat .

gotta love that near-to-the-equator ass weather with climate change [i need to kill billionaires rn]

hope the strikes come to a fruitful end soon[for saf-aftra & iatse !!! fuck the amptp!!] but also i wouldnt mind waiting a couple years for btsv if the animators need that time to like animate in a safe and healthy manner yk

OH wait also im on my halloween movies watch rn!! just finished the addams family and watching paranorman rn [i need a gomez man btw. need him to be silly and obsessed and intense.and mwah]

[also if u wanna watch an indian series made in heaven is pretty cool(its okay-ish in terms of writing but it covers some very important social issues + the main leads are hot and dubious. what more do i need to watch a show)]

hobie kinda scratched a very specific itch in my brain like i want to be him AND kiss him , pavitr is so slay, and o'hara needs like a massage session thing where they unlock the trauma in ur knees or like a stamlo 50mg.

me & my friends fav fob lyrics was the 'how the mighty fall' cause we would do that "fall out...boi" intro everytime lol

i dont think i have a fave lyric but i think immortals was a top contender for reasons[i like big hero 6 :3]

Song rec: nothings new by rio romeo (saw it in a reels animatic and .. yea)

to many more yrs of late asks 🥂(appy juice cause i dont like the taste of alcohol)

my love and hopes to u💜💜💜 and also an umbrella for this weather☔

p.s. drink water/soup/iced tea + i care for u+ W in the chats

[firstkokon0is]

tokrev characters when you did the “i told you to look good today” prank to them

lol this trend is quite old but its been on my mind lately but yall can request sum goods to me😁👍

tw: heavy swear words and grammar errors

characters: draken, mikey, mitsuya, baji, chifuyu, hakkai, takemichi.

gn reader

DRAKEN

the moment those words came out of your mouth he just stared at you

while you’re smiling idiot

he will literally just stare at you

“yea same to you” showing a annoying smile

he get the situation, HE KNOWS HE LOOK GOOD SO THIS AINT GNNA WORK

you guys just laugh it off, you didn’t even told him that it was just a prank because he already knew it but will still ask you in the middle of your date

“hey is my style in clothes really aint that good? were you serious? i mean its not that bad…..” he said while looking himself up through his phone camera

“nope, i thought you get the joke but oh well……ken, you look so good everytime yk even if u wear nothing u still can pull it off” you told him and smack his bald head playfully

“yea yeaa i would’ve gone feral if u went and bash my hair instead of my clothes so thats a relief” he respond with a smile

“ken why this hair-”

“aight im leaving”

“no hakahajwlwbsha”

took the joke very well

MIKEY

he spent hours looking for good clothes for this date, there’s clothes everywhere in his room and still “damn…..there’s nothing to wear”

AND WHEN U TOLD HIM THOSE WORDS???

he just pout, told you that he’s sorry, and he spent hours looking for something to wear to match your style and many more reasons

pls apologize to him

but when you told him that its a prank he just pout and said “not a good joke y/n i know you were lying because i really look good, i knew its was a prank”

just agree with him lol

will think of pranks that he could do to you for revenge, literally stressing about it while on the date with you

he wants to say the same thing to you but he can’t because you look beautiful today, just for him, and will smile just looking at you

while walking to the park he will even ask himself “does my style really match them?” “should i be the one to adjust and put my taste on clothes higher?” “i should ask mitsuya about fashion things” his mind is just filled with questions

“mikeyyyyyyy, you look good today i was just doing a silly prank im sorry if that made you feel bad, not gonna lie you’re drippy as fuck”

“i know i know im gonna prank you next time real hard” he said “if i catch you we’re gnna switch wardrobes” he said as he started to chase you around the park

in the end he came over to your place and explore your wardrobe and tried your clothes, he even stole some of your hoodies and shirts.

MITSUYA

overthinks

this mf thinks he looks good no matter what

duh he’s a designer

“well y/n i think you’re right, and i should style you sometimes dont you think?”

your hand went to your mouth so fast

he laughed at your reaction and hug you

“just kidding you look good, we look good i know that trend damn thats old” he said

you smack him playfully for that, his reaction is normal but because of that he wants to be more stylish

he can take a joke yk

after a lot of overthinking he suggests to shopping with you

even though he have some knowledge about designing and how to look good he thinks your taste in clothes is so good

will think that he’s right for you and you’re right for him

he’s your 4lyferss😩

BAJI

he will give you that “excuse me” face with a hand oh his chest because he’s offended as fuck.

“babe stop fooling people, and yourself we both know i look good”

“you dare to bash my drip hell no baby”

will brag his clothes for like 15 minutes just to prove what you’re saying is wrong

“this shirt i brought this online with a nice fabric its not cheap mf”

“my pants, you see this huh? see those sutffs on tiktoks where they style their own pants i did this shit its so cool”

“now now, baby see this shoes? oh dont even get me started but hey you look nice today hehe can i take you on our date now?”

he went from being defensive and screaming proving his shit right to his signature smile

by just that he already made your day, you really cant out keisuke baji

because he is baji, he will look good for you, and you look good for him, he will joke you around, tease you a lot, you will also do the same to him.

100% can take a fucking joke. and it will be like a competition to him.

CHIFUYU

confused baby

im sure you feel a lot of guilt rn

because baby panicked

will suggest to go back to his house and change his clothes if you want

pls apologize 😭

almost cried because he thinks he’s a bad boyfriend again lol

will spat a lot if reason like, he’s in hurry, he’s been overthinking this date since last night.

but boy he look good actually he has drip

“nononono baby, you look good i just saw the thing on tiktok so i thought it will be funny but damn im sorry i-” you didn’t even finish when he laughed

“ohhhhhh yeaaaa that trend fuck, how could i forget, nice one you got me there god dammit ill take revenge sometimes” he said laughing slightly

well he’s always on tiktok, have some few vid too, actually some went viral bc of takemichi being dumb

just like mitsuya too, will suggest to just go shopping with him and tell him what kind of clothes that you’re interested in

would love to buy your clothes for you but he’s just a broke middle schooler but he promised you that both of you will shopping someday

he took that prank seriously but when he knew that it was a joke its fine

life goes on for him

HAKKAI

oh my god please y/n why

you always complement his style because its true he has some style

after you told him that he will just scratch the back of his neck and said

“my other clothes are still wet haha…..i mean i dont look bad i mean……”

apologize, drop on your knees and do it.

nah jk

u gave in a small laugh and said sorry to him

he know about this trend actually but he never actually expect you to have the guts to do that to him

he knew about his shy personality and he knew that you know about this

he’s not offended just taken by surprise that you actually did that to him

“well anyways i dont care about me you look good today y/n”

you immediately regret saying those stuffs to him bc he’s sweet hot and respectful

but its a joke anyways he enjoyed the silly joke

he knew he look good lmao

yuzuha will be hearing this

she will prolly scold you for doing that

are you gnna repeat the silly prank again?

TAKEMICHI

💀💀💀💀💀

he will run

run back to his home attack his wardrobe and find a good clothes

ofc you feel bad so you followed him

you saw him looking for a new clothes to wear

you told him its a prank but he still didn’t want to go out looking like that

so you just decided to style him yourself

he thinks you’re right

he looks bad, his style is not it

but overall happy for pranking him and making him realize that he need to be as your same style

“takemichi, look i dont care…..whoever told you that you look bad i will kick their face, to me what ever you wear your fun personality and the reason that i fell inlove with you wont disappear” you put a hand on the top of his head and he just

cried.

“im sowwyyy- i- i cant look good- fuck ughhghuh- please dont leave me i-” he’s crying mess on your chest

“STOP CRYING DAMMIT YOU ALWAYS LOOK GOOD,”

you will never prank him again

no pls dont do it again

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 "𝚘𝚑"

PART 8: CAT BOYS 

... it’s late into the night and y/n is streaming with one of her new friends, sykkuno. running on caffeine and redbull is apparently not enough because she falls asleep on his shoulder 45 minutes into their cyberpunk gameplay. at that exact moment, twitter goes up in flames.

─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (because i was threatened by thirsty anons) ─── soc. media + written fiction!  ─── word count: 1.8k author’s note: here it is...what yall been asking for. literally had to add a new part for this but i loved this idea sm i couldnt just nOT NOT do it. i tried writing this with the same energy as the smau lmao so expect chaos as always. hope you enjoy it and as always lmk what u think! hopefully yall wont go too feral, but tbh thats prolly too much to ask for xx EDIT: srr for the fucky format tumbler dot com is being lame 

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.   ҉   next.

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Such a back and forth continues for the better part of the day as you get ready. Corpse only whines a bit when you forget to text him back - you are packing, and your prestigious cat ears you bought from Amazon for 10$ deserve exquisite care - which only fuels your seemingly bottomless hunger for mischief, leading to you sneakily ignoring him more. When your phone lights up with a message, you giggle, giddy with excitement. Your laughter only gets louder and more erratic, to the point where Rae had busted down your door and threw her Hello Kitty plush at you - one you’d gotten her, mind you! - and told you to just “Shut the fuck up!”

Ungrateful. You know not everyone can appreciate your sense of humor, or stand your hyena like cackle, but that was uncalled for and you told her as much. Noting the mess your room is in (more than usual, that’s for certain), she leans onto the door frame, crossing her arms over her chest, pretty brown eyes twinkling curiously, “Where you off to?”

“So I had this idea-” You start, but are promptly shut down with a raise of her palm.

“Already know it’s a bad one.”

Insulted, and hurt, you clutch your heart. As if she had not mocked you enough today, “Rae...The hell, that’s so mean...” You mutter, face scrunching into a soft frown, “I only wanted to tell you what me and Syk thought of.”

“Oh?” Intrigued, she raises a brow, “Continue.”

“Gee, thanks for letting me this time.” You mumble, rolling your eyes, “So. We thought we’d stream together. The catch? In the same room! We’ll be playing Cyberpunk. Gotta cash in while the hype is still up.” You add, making her snort, “And, ya know, the whole cat boy business...We’ll be wearing matching cat ears. Admit it, I’m a genius.”

She’s quiet for a moment, mulling over your words; you can practically see the gears in her head turning. She glances around the room, then briefly at you, strangely apprehensive. “You sure that’s a good idea?”

Well, that is definitely not what you expected her to say. You figured it’d be more along the lines of you’d be one ugly cat. “Huh?” Is all you manage to stutter, “What do you mean?”

She gives you a look, one all people give when something is so plainly obvious, “Y/n. You do know the stans will go wild, right? And you do remember our conversation involving Corp-”

“Nope!” You exclaim cheerily with a bright smile to match. You don’t want to think about that. The relationship between you and Corpse is strictly platonic, and besides, seeing Twitter loosing their shit is always funny, and you never miss an opportunity to mess with your fans. Sykkuno is also a good friend, albeit a new one. This supposed flirting from Corpse’s end Rae deduced was nothing more than her projecting her feelings onto the situation. She always liked shoujo anime and was probably thinking one was happening right in front of her. Not a chance. Corpse was just being a friendly crackhead. Your energies mesh beautifully.

Like, beautifully in a strictly friend way. Absolutely nothing more than that.

She gives up, naturally, arguing with a wall would be more productive than arguing with you. You’re such a (Zodiac sign).

“Well,” She mumbles, ticking her head to the side, leaning off of the door frame and turning to leave, “Don’t say I didn’t tell you so.”

Your grin melts as soon as she leaves. Glancing at your bag, you shove your last necessities in with newfound hesitance. 

Nothing bad will happen, right?

...Right?

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It is well past the generally set “appropriate” time to hang out, but since quarantine, what is appropriate anymore anyway? You’ve never been in Sykkuno’s apartment, but now that you’re here it’s...strangely him. Every corner seems tailored to his specific requirements. It’s cozy, and pleasantly warm - it’s a bit chilly in LA, as surprising as that is.

He’s even shyer than you remember him being. And a whole lot more awkward, but in an endearing way, a way that makes you want to laugh and try to reassure him that it’s just you and he has nothing to worry about. While you hung out only once, the history you share is rich and tender. From him following you on Twitter and subsequently prematurely ending your stream, to kidnapping a stray cat affectionately named Juan. His long lost brother, Juan (no the Second, just Juan), lives in your Minecraft server. 

His stream room is sadly bare. There’s an appalling lack of merch or fairy lights. Not even led-lights. It’s a good thing you brought your own. As you try to decided which color would be best - his signature lime green, reminiscent of his adorable Among Us astronaut, or, perhaps, mischievous violet? - he boots the game and tweets out a quick “streaming with y/n in ten mins! come one come all!” 

“You should probably tell your fans, too.” He mumbles, looking somewhere above your shoulder. You settle with cherry blossom pink. Glancing at him, you shrug.

“Ah, do it for me, please?”

“Oh!” He hiccups, “Uhm, I wouldn’t want to pry and I don’t know your password and-”

“It doesn’t have a password.” You had removed it, knowing something like this would happen. Bless your foresight, you did not want him to know it was demonspiitinmymouth. Before he could protest further, you rush to the nearest mirror to put on your cat ears and make sure they aren’t crooked. You look absolutely adorable. The cat boys in your dms will go feral. Hell, you might just go feral looking at yourself! Sykkuno is not ready. No one is. This will be a stream to remember.

When you return (with flourish of course), he’s anxiously fidgeting by his computer, his own little cat ears, one’s he wore for the Halloween stream, peaking out from his silky brown hair. You have to suppress a squeal. When he catches you gaze he gives the kindest, sweetest little smile.

“They, uh--” He points at you, then decides it’s rude to point, bringing his hand back to his lap, then clutching his mouse, lastly releasing a sound stuck between a chuckle and a wheeze, “suit you, uhm, a lot!” He finishes with a resolute nod, quickly spinning in his chair and away from you.

This is the reaction you desired. All is going according to plan. Is this what God feels like? If not, then you pity her. She’s missing out.

Taking a seat next to him - he had been gracious enough to haul you a spare chair from the kitchen - you draw closer, and he, instinctively, shrinks away with another nervous chuckle. 

“You have, uhm... I-I didn’t look!” He quickly chimes. You raise a brow, “Uhm, unopened messages? From Corpse? He texted you when I was tweeting! I didn’t mean to look, I’m sorry-”

Instantly, you recall the famous vine with the scandalous “daddy chill” line, though refrain from saying it aloud. You love havoc, but you’re not evil (Rae would ardently disagree with you, though). Instead, you just shrug, “’S fine, don’t worry. I’ll text him back later. Let’s start?”

He nods, but doesn’t look at you. Granted, you don’t think he glanced at you even once since you returned, “...Okay. Ready?”

“Ready!”

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You’re much too immersed into the game and Sykkuno’s twitch chat to even check what’s happening on Twitter, but your estimated guess is that everyone’s going crazy. The stream chat is unruly as well, but missing the signature Twitter spark. Most of the chaos is bravely lead by your fans. Sykkuno’s, much like the man himself, are too nice to scream so unabashedly.

Perhaps you excitement had been a bit too taxing, perhaps drinking 5 coffees and 2 energy drinks today and not enough water are to blame for the sudden drowsiness you’re feeling, but you can’t focus on the swimming chat or the abundance of cut-scenes at the starting point of the game. You steadily draw nearer and he, more composed in front of his audience, doesn’t react. About ten more minutes of hoovering by his shoulder and muttering soft commentary, and you feel yourself slipping.

The last coherent thought you have is a few choice words directed at caffeine itself for having the opposite effect of you at the worst time possible.

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You float in oblivion for perhaps ten minutes at best. Once you awake with a startle, you shower Sykkuno in shy apologies and he quickly reassures you that it’s fine and that he didn’t mind at all!

“Though,” He adds after a thoughtful pause, “not sure if it was very, uh, comfortable?”

His stream chat spams uwu and variations of similar kind. The stream continues for a few more hours before the both of you wish everyone a good night. 

While you planned on wreaking absolute havoc, this sudden falling asleep was unexpected. You pondered the consequences of such an innocent, unplanned act whilst ubering home, fearing to check your phone which by now was blowing up with not only Twitter notifications but also Rae’s angry messages that vaguely read “what the fuck y/n”. Within the past two hours she had left 57 messages on all platforms collectively, including 7 calls. 

Corpse’s last text was over three hours ago.

Now that’s strange. Worry festers quickly. Briefly glancing at your surroundings - the pretty glimmer of passing street lights, neon signs, familiar buildings - you decide that it’s time to check what kind of nuclear explosion you’ve caused.

Your heart drops to the bottom of your stomach as you scroll past the hundreds of tweets and mentions. Scan through Rae’s messages. 

You had failed to prepare ahead. Every explosion of such kind is followed by nuclear winter. And Corpse’s lack of messages feels especially cold.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Not you smiling like a fucking idiot reading his last message! You shrink into the backseat, afraid the driver will accidentally look into the rear-view mirror and see you a bit too happy before asking questions. Good news? Yeah, but it’s not like it’s his any beeswax! In the words of Rihanna, just shut up and drive. 

This argument had not yet happened, but you’re preparing, just in case. 

As you think up of potential scenarios, your eyes drill into Corpse’s goodnight text. You’ve looked at it enough. Time to turn the phone screen off. Leave the app, at the very least. When the screen dims you instantly press on it to wake it up. This is embarrassing. Maybe the deadly amount of caffeine really did mess you up, big time. Your heart races in your chest, painfully almost. You feel a bit sick. Worst of all, you can’t stop smiling.

A notification from Rae makes you snap out of it. Ah, one more demon to deal with. 

However, before you talk to her, you really need to tell Twitter that you’re not with Sykkuno. And apologize to Sykkuno as well. 

At least Corpse doesn’t hate you.

Fucking hell, just exit the chat you idiot!

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[hiraya-rawr]

Okay so rarepair ship coming your way

✨albexiao/xiaobedo✨

I’ve been seeing lotsa tiktoks about them and they got good team synergy (c4 albedo was made for xiao fite me) and modern au of them as emo boy with smart pretty boy has me ascending

though going into sum lore about albedo and the fact that he aint human because he was born after the fall of khaenriah suggests that he does have this extended life span. this be a mini personal hc but i think xiao prolly doesnt bother getting attached to humans because of the concept of mortality and he would rather not relive seeing another friend of him pass. I get the feeling they would understand each other and the pains of longevity, time, loneliness/isolation and prolly even the search for answers/understanding because of the weight of their responsibilities. On the topic of their duties (lore wise) they were both left behind by their own master who they see as the most important to them. they are both ticking time bombs too with the whole "taken by the darkness" (xiao) and the "if i ever lose control" (albedo). would they trust each other to save em or become this pillar of stsbility for the other?? thatd be a cute dynamic but theyd also be super powerful if they do yknow get caught up in villainy. but srsly like they really do have so much in common and like different ways in dealing with quite the same situation being landed to them.

Xiao thinks life is fleeting and sad while albedo celebrates the beauty of life/creation, they also long for freedom and autonomy and i find that really beautiful. And dont get me started on their color schemes (not related but damn them color schemes)

This ship might not sound much in game but aaaa them as a modern student au ship trope has me down bad 😭😭 like xiao is feared by people and albedo is admired by those around him. they have this common ground or understanding of putting their duties before their own personal feelings and they respect that about one another and before they even know it they start knowing the deepest parts of each other, ones not visible to their other peers and it makes them closer. like ooooooh to add they also have this vibe that people cant get too close like theres this invisible line that people not dare to cross about them and people would treat them differently but all they want is a sense of normalcy. like no matter how admired albedo is he is still isolated and idk maybe thats where xiao steps in to fill that void.

might i also add they eat weird food (snow and spiders) <dis sum literal food for thought>

Here be sum tiktok links too

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSRrCAE6g/?k=1

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSRrQKEy5/?k=1

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSRrCBANV/?k=1

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSRrC1XpR/?k=1

rare pairs were closed but thank you for the very elaborate talk on xiao / albedo 🤍😅 i agree, it's not very much of a game ship, but it would thrive well in a modern, university au! they have similarities, especially in controlling the monster inside of them, so i think it has a lot of angst potential as well!

[wickedpact]

life's hecticness has finally kinda caught up to me and im just feeling super worn down and im seeking comfort in the old guard and because your blog always sparks joy ive come to you. on the subject of comfort do you have any thoughts on coping mechanisms/ways to comfort themselves the members of the old guard have? and similarly, ways they help comfort the others too? i would love to hear any and all thoughts you might have on the matter <3 - 2ta

in terms of comforting others:

nicky: words. i think its kind of interesting, but every time in the movie we see as character in emotional distress nicky speaks up (its okay nile, tell us, sono qui, everything happens for a reason boss) the only time he breaks this habit is when booker talks about grief in the lab.

booker: we dont rlly see booker explicitly comfort people much but he does seem to tend towards expressions of solidarity or subtle check-ins/expressions of concern (for the former he tells nile about his family, he tells nile big wounds take longer to heal, he reminds andy that ‘this is what you wanted’ and for the latter he asks andy post-stab if shes alright, he tells andy he wont see her again, etc)

hes also quick to (rightfully lmao) accept blame (after the kill floor, when he wont get up when the squad escapes, and the scene where he and andy get captured)

joe: he doesnt do a whole lot of comforting to the non-nicky’s out there interestingly enough. he encourages andy like the others do just after the baklava scene (i know you needed a break but its been over a year boss) he also tends to make little light hearted jokes/comments to lighten the mood sometimes (this plus 'faster than the elevator', etc)

and i suppose one could say him answering nile’s questions during the dinner scene are a type of comfort in itself, tho .. .... his answers arent exactly reassuring lmao

nile: So are you good guys or bad guys?

joe: Depends on the century

(j o s e p h you could have given her a more reassuring answer than that!! altho depending on the person, straight honesty can be very comforting in of itself, and joe prolly knew that andy would dance around nile’s questions and be generally unhelpful)

but additionally joe is a pretty strong protector and worrier about his friends’ well-being. he advocates for finding nile in the train scene and tells the others to ‘cover andy’ when they find out shes mortal

(plus the little touch he does to andy’s back!)

andy: andy’s mileage varies when it comes to comforting (primarily nile of course bc shes the Distressed One in the movie) but a lot of the time she tends towards offering stability and loyalty (me and those three men in there will keep you safe, you’re one of us now we would do the same for you, [to nicky] this changes nothing) which of course makes sense for her. stability and loyalty obviously probably mean so much to andy and as Team Leader shes probably very used to offering those things

nile: nile is more the comfortee than the comforter in the movie for all the obvious reasons, tho i think its interesting that at the end she tells andy ‘youre gonna [spend the time you have left] with us, andy’ not only bc shes delivering that stability/loyalty right back at andy but also bc shes also a leader (in the marines) so she might have a similar situation as andy with offering stability & loyalty as a Leader

being comforted:

nicky: the most notable instance of nicky being upset and getting comforted is obviously the van speech, tho like ive said i doubt joe’s go-to method of comforting nicky is a Speech. tho also (obviously & as ive talked abt a lot) i think he takes a lot of comfort from the idea of destiny/fate and the idea that he and The Lads were all destined to be together. he lomves his friends and hes happy when theyre happy

booker: alcohol.

honestly im not even sure how booker would really like to be comforted/comfort himself besides his given Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms. i think he does take a lot of comfort in his Solidarity with andy tho. considering his ‘that way madness lies’ comment about the immortality and his comment in the comic about ‘whats the purpose of an uncertain immortality?’ and his tendency towards tech, i think he’s the kind of person who likes when things are explainable and logical (and u could say thats a way he foils with nicky i suppose)

joe: him touchy

ive been meaning to make a gifset thats just Joe + Reassurance Through Touch but i keep forgetting about it. hes a very tactile boyo. in the comic while theyre having the nile nightmare joe reaches out and physically grabs nicky’s arm/shoulder in his sleep, like hes subconsciously checking hes still there. he worries So Much about the others (nicky in the armored van, nile in the train scene, andy post-mortality) and their well-being that i think he takes a lot of comfort in knowing all the lads are okay and safe (esp nicky)

andy: like i mentioned i think she likes loyalty and stability, which is obvs something shes had a serious lacking of throughout her life. ik u arent super into the comics but the recent tales through time story about andy went over how she takes comfort in the idea that her axe belonged to her mother once, even if her modern-day axe has had all its parts and pieces replaced so many times its not the axe her mother gave her 7000 yrs ago anymore. however andy still clings to this idea of her axe being her mother’s axe (‘this is the labyrs she held in her hands’). the memory of her family/mother and the stability of having the same axe with her through her history obvs comforts her a lot.

nile: again similarly to andy i feel like loyalty/family comforts nile a lot. she followed her father’s footsteps into the marines and worries about her loyalties to them through the first half of the movie, and tries to go home & thinks about her mom and brother through the whole thing.

(plus, music obvs means a lot to her)

[stanharu]

beastars episode 24 thoughts!

this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one

Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.

this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.

so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.

also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime

before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.

legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.

also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo

it says "high quality horse meat"

I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.

I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.

i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao

it says "devour yahya"

and now... here we are... the predation scene.

overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(

tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.

also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭

I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.

seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.

big pomeranian

anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.

before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that

baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.

i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction

tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!

the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.

BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️

the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.

we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.

ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.

if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.

i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.

like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?

adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.

if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.

[magicflowershop]

one day kitty; Tsukishima version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

Tsukishima found a cat sleeping on his window sill that morning

he doesnt know why but the sight of that cat annoyed him that he went to school with a frown on his face

Yamaguchi thought he did something wrong but he knew that if he spoke up he’d be told to shut up again,,,, 

Yams still asked

now Tsukki didn’t know what to tell him bc he wants to give no attention to a certain cat that’s been following him on their way to school,,, yk for some odd reason he can’t give a name to

even so, Yams being the precious lad he is, saw the little cat and entertained him while Tsukki took the run for it,,, again for some reason

its been a few hours and even during classes, Tsukki sees the cat once again through the window, chilling on a tree branch

it was no ordinary cat

or maybe Tsukki has lost his mind

but he was sure of it tho

quite

Tsukki looked out and saw that cat,, then the cat found his eyes and locked their gazes together,,, Tsukki has no idea how that staring contest ended up lasting for almost thirty minutes 

Tsukki was very sure this cat was an alpha lmAOOO

disregarding that, Tsukishima sensed something familiar from this little cat thats been noticeably following him everywhere even as to spying on him in his room while he was getting ready

the cat was so strange that it reminded him of someone he knew

which he seems to find himself looking for during lunch break 

and now he found it even stranger when said person had the audacity of ignoring him, as they passed by each other

that was prolly for the best

so Tsukki wouldn’t get migraine for the day ykyk

nyways the cat

the cat was also confused, staring at the same person this whole time,,, right beside him

“Tsukki, that was weird,,, y/n never batted an eye on you today. she’d usually bark at you but ig she’s tired today,,, she wasn’t being herself”

“shut up, Yamaguchi”

“sorry Tsukki”

i love that nyWAY

now you and Tsukki are e m e n i e s

how so?

Tsukki has been fed up with this random kid from a different class who always goes and picks up fights with him no matter what,, and so it concluded to him disliking said kid with every fiber of his being, which also happened to be you

contrary to his belief however, you two were simply opposites of each other and seemed to be clashing ideas no matter what the topic given is,,, which soon translates to arguments

little did he know tho you clash with him on purpose to get his attention because you are a lost cause and very head-over-heels for his lame-ass 

so much so that you wished to become a cat in order to stalk in sum more

<3

and as emenies,, its natural Tsukki will find it weird you ignored him in the hallway when you’re normally up his nose whenever you see him

bc you’re crazy like that

but thank god you were calm today

he thought

so this went on for the rest of the day

you guys passed by each other a bunch more and he kept getting a cold shoulder,,,,,,

YOU GUYS PASSED BY EACH OTHER A BUNCH MORE AND HE KEPT GETTING A COLD SHOULDER HOW DARE YOU?????

it didn’t take Yams half a braincell to notice Tsukki getting lowkey dejected from the said cold shoulder,,,, but Tsukki being Tsukki

sigh

plus, there’s this cat that’s been followin him around the entire time

“you’re not allowed to be here”

ah yes a 

✨ smartass ✨

he see the cat slowly sneaking its way inside the gym while they were off to practice after classes

the cat looked up at him with its big, shiny eyes as if it was pleading for Tsukki to let it in and watch them prolly,,, but Tsukki knew havin a cat in there would be a drag,,, and he might get yelled at by Daichi as well

even if this was an alpha cat we mentioned earlier

Tsukki shut the door

but soon after practice, nobody noticed when Tsukishima casually left the gym to look for the cat

a clown ✨

you were just chillin over a tree branch when you saw Tsukki wandering around the place looking for something,, and then he saw you

you see him sigh of relief and walk towards the tree

“do you not have a home you belong in?”

lmao someone’s not very good at handling animals, you thought to yourself,,, that you wanted to clown him sum more

you walked towards the end of the branch as carefully as you can, while Kei watched you with terror in his eyes

“what are you doing? you’re gonna fall off”

definitely not used to handling cats specifically!

while knowing full well this boy is a n00b, you stared at him mockingly, swinging your tail back and forth at his face next, resting your entire feline body at the tip of the branch that is in the verge of snapping

the terror in his eyes translated into worry in a split second when the branch did snap and the cat fell 

Tsukki wasn’t fast enough to both catch the cat and to realize that cats are created ✨ agile ✨

he, once again, felt like a 🤡

you gave him a smug look when you landed perfectly on your feet and saw the dumbfounded look on his face lmfao what is going on

and that hit Tsukki once again,,, the cat reminded him so much of you that it pained him so much both mentally and physically also psychologically but yk

Tsukki sat down on the grass, reluctantly reaches out a hand towards the cat,,, and takes it back, like what was he doing lol

but you looked straight into his eyes, which made him subconsciously reach out to you once more and this time you gave him no time to pull it back because you nuzzled you whole head under his palm

:c

Tsukki then gave in, caressing the cat’s fur as gently as he could

“oi TsukISHIMA!!”

Hinata called for Tsukki and the rest of the practice went by like normal disregarding how Hinata kept teasin him how he was bein soft around a little mammal for a split second swswsws

so practice ended just like that, you were wandering around gym waiting for Tsukki to appear bc you didn’t want so many opporunities to slip by when you already have him around your wittle paws yk? and you concluded Tsukki’s a whole tsundere 

as a matter of fact, Tsukki’s pissed off bc he knows he’s become fond of the stray cat

ok so, phat news

Yams goes and tells Tsukki he had somewhere to go before going straight home so it’ll be Tsukki goin home alone tonite

you overheard this conversation and you’re engines roared honey

you shall monopolize this stringbean

Tsukki wasn’t stupid to not notice the cat tailing him all the way home so Tsukki makes a detour bc he isn’t sure if this was a real cat or srsly an alpha cat like he said earlier lmfao wasn’t stupid my ass

his feet took him to his cram school without realizing even though he had no classes that day

but it was enough to not make the cat follow him anymore

he looked back at the cat and saw it, looking inside, backing away at each step as if it was afraid to get in ;c

obv you were afraid of being shooed away like some kinda parasite so its natural u pussy out heh and sudDENLY tSUKKI PICKED YOU UP AND LEFT WIF YOU HUUHHH????

“you’re probably hungry, i haven’t seen you eat the entire day”

heh

so you went on a date big deal

and you were a cat big deal 

except that Tsukki didn’t know what in the world to do wif a stray cat after this little dinner time at the edge of a park in the evening, not the kind of first date you wanted but this should be enough for this situation no?

ok so date right?

Tsukki was wondering why you were acting so strange earlier, like you kept treating him just like sum other student from the same school, passin by without any care at all lol

needless to say, it bugged him

and it was also needless to say that it bugged him a lot

yk

that you weren’t there

:D

like ew

no sht did that thought disgust him bc it was true lmfao

then there’s this random cat thats beside him the whole day instead and annoying the hell outta him,, kinda,,,, the same way,,,, you do,,,,,

lol how are those things similar tho

“you remind me of y/n”

and so u choke

mhmm

it’s b̵̹̠͎͑̀̈̈́i̶̢̧̖̙͎͖̰̱̾̾̏̀͋̌̕g̶̩̦̉ ̶̙̌̂b̵̻̿r̵̠̦̯̠̦̮͇̫̾͋̐̇͛̈́̓̉̚͝ă̶̛̫͎̹̈́̃͛͝i̴̼̦̮̮̍̈́̋̈́n̶͓̟̮͋̅͂͑̃͆̍̕͝͝ ̸̔̂͑̄̈́ti̴͗̈́̋̄̔̃m̸̛̳̔̀̆̈́e i guess

then as if you were snapped back to reality you remembered you had a time limit for this stupid, stalkerish thing you’ve been doing,,, you instinctively grabbed Kei’s hand to check his wristwatch 

it was 10.30

holy sht it was 10.30

you scurried off from your spot and ran all the way to your house, ignoring the kind-of yells Tsukki let out when he saw you running away 

you were running at speed of light jumping from one roof to another to get back home and smack that house cat of yours that pretended to be you the whole time

and you did,,, 

the next morning, you woke up you were back to normal

everything was back to normal

you’re parents never questioned you of anything

so did your siblings if you had any

then comes school

you were hella nervous aight

but you tried to stay calm, stay poised, stay annoying like normal yk

“hey”

god

Tsukki found you taking off your shoes, and decided it was a great idea to initiate a conversation with you

“oh good morni-”

“what’s going on with you yesterday?”

:0

“did i do something?”

“uh no,,,”

“then why did you ignore me?”

:O

did that have an effect on him????

you wanted to ask that to push his buttons ‘cause that’s what ur good at anyway might as well go all the way but yk you didn’t have the courage to be that cheeky esp since you liked him as well ahaha

YOU DID IT ANYWAY BAP BAP BA--

“it did”

:O

mission failed but success????

stay tuned for more!

[pluralrights]

do you have any advice on how to realize if ur plural or not/how to come to terms w being plural ?? ive been thinking about it for a while and sometimes i almost fully agree that i am and then i immediately go back around and say theres no way i can be,,, i know that theres ways to be plural w/o trauma (i dont. think i have trauma ? if i do, it wouldnt have been until i was 12, that i can remember at least) but all of my friends tht r systems r very anti-endo so it kinda scares me to think tht i might b an endo system,,, and while if i /was/ plural itd explain a lot of things but im also scared that the only reason i think im plural is because ive been doing research on dissociative disorders for a project (even though ive been questioning before that,,,). the thought of being plural itself doesn't scare me (id prolly only tell like one person LMAO) but jus,, idk theres jus Something stopping me from accepting it nd idk if its bc im faking it or bc i jus don wan accept it.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY tl;dr could u help give some advice on how to realize/come to terms w being plural ??

Hey anon!! We didnt spend much time questioning plurality ourselves (though accepting it as a positive thing was a Lot longer of a process) so we don’t have much specific advice, but generally a few things-

- You can’t fake things accidentally!! You can be wrong or mistaking your experiences for something else, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Exploring your identity in general is a good thing! Even if you’re not yet 100% sure, doing things like trying to reach out to your system members, making them pluralkit profiles, and making a plural tumblr and just generally seeing if identifying/presenting as plural feels right can be helpful!!

-From what im getting i think having your friends negatively view your identity is making things harder for you, and thats definitely a hard situatuation, but i think joining some inclusive plural spaces (ie, discord servers) that welcome questioning systems (most do!) could be helpful for you as well (we’ve reblogged some links to ones we personally think are comfortable before!)

We wish you the best of luck and hope youre having a good day <3!!

[tigerdrop]

If you ever write Gordon getting dicked down by benrey, I can only image benrey just losing his mind and unable to form coherent sentences just going on and on and thanking Gordon for letting him do this. Just constantly saying how good gordon is to him and thank you over and over again.

bro do i have something for u. i was going off about this exact thing just last night

what if benrey humped gordons pillow.. you know..... like a. its a. its a petplay thing okay fuckin leave me alone. gordons prolly got more than one pillow right. what if......he had his face buried in the other one (or, you know, an other one, idk) while hes doing it b/c it......smells like......gordon......

like hes on his knees bent over, going completely crazy on one pillow, while perhaps hugging his face into the other and his whimpers and moans r muffled and oh god im rabid

rotating in my mind. maybe he wouldnt have been able to get off just from that ordinarily. it was just, like, warming up. he was gonna just jack it over the pillow later (you know, b/c hes fucking gross, and maybe hes entertaining wild fantasies of marking gordons stuff. you know). but its actually gordon saying a bunch of degrading comments (and then saying that if he was a good boy, he would finish what he started) to him that pushes him over the edge and makes him able to come for real

benrey's going absolutely ape bananas on the pillow, uncoordinated and desperate to come, with gordon breathing shit like "fuck the pillow like you'd fuck me" right in his ear. gordon's crazed on the power of being able to make benrey piston faster with just a little dirty talk

god. like. the fucking groan that would rip out of him at that b/c he wants to do just that so badly. not like he can deny that thats what he was thinking about the whole time, right

benrey just starts babbling nonsense on exactly how he wants to fuck him, if he'd let him

like. if hes wanted to do just that for so long, so badly, but hes never been able to prove that hes been good enough for gordon to let him (or at least, thats what hes convinced the issue is. if its up to me, its probably bound up in gordons weird internalized homophobia issues about bottoming.......but yknow thats not the way everybody characterizes him so LOL). and he really starts rutting into it good and hard trying to prove that hed be good for gordon, hed make it real fucking good for him, and maybe if he does it right, gordon will let him fuck him just like that

seeing benrey fuck the pillow as if its actually gordon makes him feel. some kinda way. and maybe he decides afterwards or sometime soon after, he actually DOES want benrey to fuck him like that. and when it happens, hes got benrey by the leash, tugging him and instructing him on what to do, telling him hes a good boy and UH HEY why are you reading this message are you fucking homosexual or somethi

okay. so. like. thinking about. gordon finally getting over himself enough to consider letting benrey top him. but if theyre gonna do this, hes gonna be the one in control, still. otherwise whats the whole fucking point of the bit theyre doing? so hes very strictly instructing benrey what to do, making him sit there and fold his goddamn hands behind his back and not touch, not move, just sit there and watch while gordon gets himself ready, because he dont trust like that. if benrey cant behave here, now, then gordon doesnt believe hell be able to behave when benreys got his dick in his ass. its like the apocryphal "green m&ms" story - if you cant obey the little rules, then theres no guarantee that you can obey the big rules, either

so benreys just watching, and hes fucking sweating, b/c he wants to be so fucking good right now. if he doesnt behave, hes not gonna get what hes wanted for so long, and gordon sure as shit wont let him do it again. so hes patient. he pants, open-mouthed, and his dick just twitches and bobs but he doesnt touch it b/c he wasnt told to. but man, is it hard when hes watching gordon get his fingers inside himself like that. watching his face turn red, watching him sweat, wanting it to be his fingers inside gordon so goddamn badly and just make him beg for more. but hes certain he cant get away with that, so he doesnt, and he just sits there and suffers

what if when gordon first takes benrey inside him, benrey notices a look of discomfort on gordons face that remains there for a hot minute. and slightly concerned, benrey speaks up, “yo you good? do we need to sto-“ and gordon is stubborn and insists he’s absolutely fine, hes completely cool, chill, all that. and hes got this.....! yknow, horny glare on his face, showing he means business and that hes so fucking into this, just as much as benrey is

gordon coming more and more undone as he fucks his own ass, his reprieved "control" on the situation slipping, benrey's listening the best he's ever listened and all of it's making gordon so goddamn hot. he tries to make it sound authoritative when he asks benrey to fuck him, it doesn't come out that way at all but benrey's so spellbound by the permission that he doesn't notice or care. just dives right in :)

then, finally, gordon feels like hes ready, and its really obvious how embarrassed he is even when hes trying to play at maintaining control over the situation. hes saying a lot of defensive shit like "dont say anything weird, dont make any weird fucking comments, just. look. if you wanna do this, then, uh. cmon." as he gets himself on his hands and knees and tugs benrey over to him by the collar and basically presents himself to be fucking mounted, because, you know, thats what theyre doing here. thats what their whole fucking game is

now. look. my benreys got a big dick. most benreys got a big dick. this benreys got a big fucking dick and gordon knows this real well by now, so hes insistent that benrey takes it as slow as possible. and it takes every goddamn ounce of his self-control to do as gordon asks, but its so worth it, because just that slow press inside of him for the first time is so, so good. gordons unbelievably tight, and hes making choked sounds and gasping and even though hes being super bossy, hes already gagging for it, practically. and like what you said: benreys fucking desperate to rail him into the ground, but hes also deeply invested in listening to exactly what gordon says and making it as good for him as he can

and he gets himself buried to the hilt, finally, after so long hes sure hed be going soft if it wasnt gordon, if he wasnt so deeply into being bossed around like this. and gordon breathlessly tells benrey to give him a moment, jesus, let him adjust. so he waits. and he waits. until gordon tugs at his leash, and tells him to move. but slowly, okay. so benrey does as hes told, and when he hits just the right pace, gordon does him the kindness of calling him a good boy and his fingers tighten instinctively on gordons hips

thats all he fuckin wants, bro. he wants gordon to call him a good boy and let benrey fuck him silly. (theyre getting to that second one.) slowly, gordon lets him pick up the pace, and hes trying to hard to maintain control but benreys dick is ruining him. gordons legs shake, his arms start to give way, and his back dips lower and lower while he raises his ass higher. and hes so fucking vocal. so much higher and louder than when hes topping. his mouths starting to run off, ordering benrey to fuck him harder while he gives that leash a sharp tug, and "good boy" spills from his lips with a greater frequency

and benreys just pressing him further and further into the mattress, legs braced around gordons in rut like a fucking mating press, and gordons really starting to lose control over the situation. benreys asking him shit like "yo......is it good bro? am i good?" because he just wants to hear it from gordon - yeah, hes good, hes doing so good, hes a good boy. hes gordons good boy. its some of the most effusive praise benreys gotten, and it goes straight to his head. and gordons pulling that leash so fucking tight, bending benrey over his back, while his orders for benrey not to stop begin to bleed into pleas and his babblings starting to get incoherent. and when hes like "please, oh god, im gonna come," benrey goes for the extra credit and reaches around to jerk him off and gordon just breaks

starts hardcore running his mouth and begging benrey to come in him, god, he can bite a little if he wants, its okay, just keep going, and gordon comes with the loudest wail benreys ever drawn out of him. and hes so overstimulated but he meant it when he said he wanted benrey to fuck him until he came, so hes mumbling about how good benrey is for him deliriously until benreys telling him thank you over and over again as he comes deep inside gordon. and then he pulls out and starts licking gordon and nuzzling his head into him and other gay shit while gordon pats his head and weakly reiterates that, yes, he was a good fucking dog and he did very fucking well, thank you

My Final Message. Good bye