#if you ignore the set-up lyrics + imagine it as a fight song‚ it Works 🍾

[poptartmochi]

physical by onj is going ON the agu playlist

[callipraxia]

An Irregular Interlude

I wanted to make some, like, vaguely intelligent-sounding further commentary on the bits of the Hirsch interview that I found especially interesting today...but my brain is completely fried after work and I can't do word stuff all that well. Certainly not up to the standard I'd like, anyway. So instead, you're going to, if so inclined, get to see the interview-inspired scenes from Weirdmageddon: The Musical! that my brain spontaneously produced while I was trying to come up with actual commentary....

"He’s like- he’s like [handwave] “Ford’s gonna- Ford’s gonna be back. Ohh, [air quotes] we had such a big fight, Ford’s sooo mad at me,” oh, you know, “our will-they-won’t-they-take-over-the-universe relationship, like, he’s gonna- he’s gonna march off in a huff, and he’ll be back, ‘cause we’re- is Ford gonna find anyone else in the multiverse that strokes his ego as well as me?” Is there anybody else in the universe that’s gonna make Ford feel as important as Bill? No, of course not, Ford needs validation, and so Bill knows Ford’s gonna be back eventually. 

This quote set me on a loopy train of thought that I found amusing in a warped way, and it only makes sense if, for whatever reason, you're familiar with a piece of musical theater about a pair of historical murderers, but...if you do, by some chance, know of the song "Everybody Wants Richard” from Stephen Dolginoff’s Thrill Me, it...probably isn't hard to see how I read the above interview quote and instead of intelligent thoughts, I instead promptly pictured Bill singing some weird parody version called "Everybody Wants Stanford." For those unfamiliar with it, here's some actual lyrics from the original song:

"Tell me, who can you have conversations with - share your twisted observations with? Who else has a roughly similar view, if not me? You've played around with lots of losers who ended up as cheats and users, but who's been on the sidelines waiting for you, if not me?

Oh, I've come to find, everybody wants Richard, but they don't know your mind the way that I do. I see straight through anyone who needs Richard, they make me sick, they're good for just a kick, they won't stick the way that I do!

When you cut off all our contact, how it hurt! But I know you like to make me feel like dirt. But now you're back, and you know I'm beside you, your oldest, closest friend...

*skip a bunch to the end of the song*

"The others are wrong, they don't have a clue, or know the real you. Yes, everybody wants Richard - but not the way that I do! Admit that you've missed me, too!"

Now just imagine Bill's grating voice singing that, and with the camera cutting to a captive Stan and Fiddleford at "lots of losers," possibly with Bill attempting to literally kick one of them after declaring they make him sick. Also possibly with Ford objecting that "uh - that's what you like to do to me - " at the bit about "I know you like to make me feel like dirt," while Bill just blatantly ignores him in favor of continuing to attempt to manipulate him in rhyme. Where the original singer merely comes off as desperate when he complains that "they won't stick the way that I do," though, that becomes a borderline threat when you imagine it's Bill saying it, and then whole thing falls apart and the original lines stop making any sense in this context when the titular Richard, who thinks he is the Bill in his messed up relationship, anyway, replies to that last line I quoted in the italicized portion:

"I've only missed the worship."

...Yeah, very Bill-like line, that one. Not sure anyone else in the show could really pull that one off. Makes no sense for Ford to reply to...literally anything Bill could say that I can think of with that one, at least unless we're in an AU where Bill had at one point in the past given him power, anyway. But now, if you were, say, really tired, and start turning different stanzas into some kind of weird song battle (a bit like Epic Rap Battles of History, but with song parodies instead of raps) for Ford's loyalties in the Fearamid between Bill and Fiddleford, though....this time I did situation-ify the lyrics, so forgive me where the rhymes don't quite work:

*bridge music plays, then the camera cuts to Fiddleford:*

" - yeeer, when y'threw me out the lab, that did hurt! But I know you likes t'make me feel like dirt." *Ford looks like he wants to object to that line again, but then thinks the better of it and just intently stares at his shoes* “But now you're back! and you know I'm beside you, your oldest, closest friend - who's sick of being lied to!

Tell me, who's 'is demon that was your priority? I've got word on good authority! How can you assume - " *spits tobacco contemptuously in Bill's direction* - "that thingummajiggy's worthy of...bein' friends with you? It ain't me! As fer secrets - you've got plenty others -" *glances sideways at Stan, who looks deeply unamused* " - I hadn't prev'losly known that you even had no brothers - but who else ever tried so hard to please you? Only me! Oh, dag blast! everybody wants Stanford, but they don't know your past the way that I do...

...and God knows why I think you're so appealing, or why you had to be so double-crossing, double-dealing! But...it's been so long - not sure why I’m sayin’ this inna song - but point is, that pointy idjit is wrong, he ain't gotta clue, I know the real you...

*camera cuts to Stan, apparently under the impression he might contribute a verse. Stan starts speaking normally instead, completely deadpan:*

"...yep, you're on your own, bro, this is freaking weird, I'm out, I have and I want absolutely nothing to do with this - "

*Stan is seized by whatever force has somehow made this mess into really bad musical theater in the murky corridors of Calli's sleep-deprived brain, only he's getting his lyrics from a completely different song, one originally sung by Iago from the Aladdin trilogy:*

" - I've had it! I hate to be dramatic, but it's time for me to fly the coop! Terrific! Fine! I'm drawing the line, before I end up looking like a dupe! I was a fool to bring you onto this show - now I'm cutting ya loose, pal, have fun with these bozos!" *jerks thumb in the direction of Fiddleford and Bill, who both look indignant.* "Hasta la vista, c'est la vie, hope all goes well! I'm looking out for me..."

...I really, really, really need some sleep.

[mylyricpages]

‘THINGS WE LEAVE BEHIND’ - ARCHIVE SERIES - VOL. IV ( FULL LENGTH VERSION ) ( 2014 )

For me the lyrics that didn’t end up on my ’official’ lyric collections for whatever reasons still have their own charm and their own little place in my affections. Often they didn’t get onto those collections because they didn’t turn out quite as I’d imagined, or they didn’t quite fit in with the tone of the material that surrounded them, or sometimes, there simply wasn’t enough room on the particular collection they seemed to belong to.

But something about them still had a certain ‘something’ for me that just couldn’t be ignored.

I’ve got a few personal favourites among them and I’m glad that they can now finally see the light of day …

Hope you enjoy

James Ellis

‘The Dream Parade’ Sessions ( 2010 )

THE BALLAD OF JOSPEH GEORGE

STAND ASIDE & CRY

SAIGON ROAD ( THE GHOSTS OF OUR SOULS )

HEY, WHERE YOU GONNA GO?

‘Kings Of Desolation Avenue’ Sessions ( 2010 )

ON A DAY LIKE TODAY

LOVERS & WANNBES

WAKE UP ALL ‘EM DEAD MEN

‘All Yesterday’s Parties’ Sessions ( 2012 )

VALENTINE’S BLEEDING

SNAPSHOTS IN SEPIA

LAND OF STARS & STRIPES

‘All Things Will Pass’ Sessions ( 2012 )

IF YOU DREAM

‘All The Bright Young Things’ Sessions ( 2012 )

MY DADDY’S GONE

HEALING HOUSE

SMART MOUTHED KIDS

Compiled March 2014

THE BALLAD OF JOSEPH GEORGE

My papa left before the day I was born, My mamma gave me up to the local home Holy mother Mary couldn’t ever keep me caged so they put me out on the streets soon as I grew of age Had a gun in my hand before I could even stand on my own two feet learnt my lessons well in the broken dreams of these streets

grew up in the gutter’s rule, got no pity for the beggars and the fools got a stare of hate and a fist of rage gonna fight for the right to write down my own last page learnt how to hustle before I could even walk leant how to lie before I could even talk got the boots I pulled off a dead man’s feet got the clothes I did rob from a family man upon these streets

but listen mister, I sure ain’t no bad man Now I ain’t no sinner I just got dealt a bad hand and the line it just gets thinner and thinner

Had myself no friends in high school I ain’t got me no friends in this one horse town don’t need nobody to betray me or drag me down never needed the same woman for more than one night got used to the darkness from the day I was born into this life don’t need to find myself no holy light got the money you worked so hard for left you bleeding on the ground my friend this world, it gave me nothin’ what I need I gotta take what I have I gotta defend

but listen mister, I sure ain’t no bad man Now I ain’t no sinner I just got dealt a bad hand and the line it just gets thinner and thinner

Never got to drink that holy communal blood never got to put that cup up to my mouth just another missing person who’s lost to the flood just another lost soul who’s gone too far south never learnt the words of this Ol’ American song never got myself signed up to the Viet Cong had my finger on this trigger since I first set foot upon these rainy streets if any man goes up against me that man he’s gonna bleed

I gotta do what I gotta do I gotta fight to survive I gotta do what I gotta do just to survive the night

Well mister I sure ain’t no bad man Now I ain’t no sinner ‘cause a sinner feels a need to justify the sin I just gotta do what I gotta do but I guess I always knew one day I’d come up against someone just like you

Mister, see myself reflected in your eyes see the price for all of my crimes see all the things we have shared and done see your knuckles white upon that gun and I know upon this day that for all those sins I once done this is gonna be my time to pay

STAND ASIDE & CRY

Factory gates closed for the last time opens up a wound never to be healed Straight to the backstreet bars from everyday working class lives drinking away the pain but you can still see it in their eyes

Still talking, still loving, still drinking feels as if it’s all still the same feels as if nothing has even changed but in the end it’s something that just can’t be denied

Still laughing, still crying, still living feels as if it’s all still the same feels as if nothing has even changed but in the end it’s something that just can’t be denied

Stand aside, stand aside and cry Stand aside and cry Stand aside and cry Stand aside and cry

SAIGON ROAD ( THE GHOSTS OF OUR SOULS )

She led me quietly upstairs to the hotel’s fourth floor told me to place my money upon the drawer she smiled softly toward me and put the chain on the door She glowed against the deep red evening light as she lay me down upon the bed voice of an angel but still I had the napalm thundering in my head She sat down beside me, “how do you want it? Hard or slow?”, she quietly said

She had something else, something sweetly goin’ on but she had nothing’ on that first night in ol’ Saigon

She lowered the blind then slipped off her panties too could feel the heavy heat of this town rising up through the room She went down, my belt in her hand her mouth a relief she could never hope to under stand

Somehow, for the smallest moment got those burning villages out of my head for the smallest moment found a grace upon that bed

She pulled her hair up, said “am I the best you’ve ever had?” I smiled at her as I gazed down and slipped the knife from my bag

She was good, at the top of her game but I’d be the last she’d ever have just the same some things are sent to test you some things put you to the test I guess my job here is done now I’ve put her sweet sad soul to rest

I guess the ghosts of our souls remain in these places we leave behind I guess I left my soul in ol’ Saigon when I left my friends behind

HEY, WHERE YOU GONNA GO?

Hey, where are you gonna go When the world is no longer turning Hey, where are you gonna go When the flames never stop burning Hey, where are you gonna go When the wind never stops blowing?

What good is that gun in your hand to you now? What good is that gun in your hand after the fall out has begun? What good is that gun when the devil’s song has already been sung?

What good is that greed in your heart to you now? What good is that greed in your heart after the end times have begun? What good is that greed when the devil’s song has already been sung?

What good is that hate in your eyes to you now? What good is that hate in your eyes after the final days have begun? What good is that hate when the devil’s song has already been sung?

Hey, where you gonna go when heaven no longer feels so near? Hey, where you gonna go when you can’t escape all of your fears?

Hey, where you gonna go? Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?

ON A DAY LIKE TODAY

On a day like today I first met you On a day like today with skies of blue On a day like today we made our solemn promises And the very next day we broke them

On a day like today our innocent eyes woke up On a day like today our whole world shook On a day like today we said we’d always stay together And the very next day we drifted apart

On a day like today we thought we could never be broken On a day like today three little words were spoken On a day like today I told you all of my secrets And the very next day everything was forsaken

On a day like today we saw our lives spread out before us On a day like today we thought nothing could stop us On a day like today those words we used to always sing On a day like today I finally met you again

LOVERS & WANNABES

Say what you like it’s all changed there’s nothing left around here now Cigarette packets, discarded lives is all that’s left around here now that’s where your home used to be now it’s boarded up, rent free streets still smell of something you lost a place where all your hopes once used to be

Well, didn’t I see you upon that familiar street corner Outside that old familiar store what happened to all the old familiar faces that used to hang out around here

I’ve seen their whole world smashed into the ground It’s all gone now, nothing left at all, not even a sound Not even an echo of all the things I remember about when we used to hang out around here

Well, where have all those old long lost souls gone to now used to be we’d pick them up at the lost and found used to be we’d find them when the word got itself out around town

See the lovers and the wannabes blurred lights, rain swept streets some small town junkie always pushing against me See the lovers and the wannabes drinkers with the social disease Some bad news headline always being read out to me

See the lovers and the wannabes in run down bars watching wall T.V’s always caught up in a past that’s refused to stay using up all of the hours in the day

they can’t see what’s changed they can’t see what’s changed they can’t see they can’t even see why they have to change at all

WAKE UP ALL ‘EM DEAD MEN

Hey ma, I fought for my country but it didn’t give a damn at all Hey ma, I’m tired of just trying to live my life and now it’s me that don’t give a damn at all

Hey ma, are you happy now I’ve gone and proved you right one too many times I might have been a failure but ma they’re still gonna read my name in those big city head lines

Hey ma, feels like being god high up in the height of this here college tower for the first time in my life I feel like I got me some power got all the little people here in my sights all the little people down there going about their million dollar lives

Hey ma, gonna pull this trigger on ‘em all pretty damn soon gonna wake up all ‘em dead men from the gloom gonna put some hurt into their big shot lives Hey ma, gonna shoot down their loved ones right in front of their eyes

Hey ma, ‘em money men are sure gonna pay for what it is they stole from you and me lost my business, lost my wife lost all I ever loved to their Avarice and their greed lost my home, lost my friends lost all I ever owned to the will of ’em kings to be

Hey ma, whole wide world is feeling the crunch but about that I don’t care too much it’s what I see with my own eyes that pains me so damn much Hey ma, good ol’ Charlie Whitman got himself fourteen people gonna bag myself at least one more Hey ma, gonna leave ‘em all wondering what it’s all been for

Hey ma, gonna leave’ em all remembering this fateful day down through the years Hey ma gonna leave my name ringing in their ears Hey ma, they’re all gonna remember my name long after I’m dead n’ gone

VALENTINE’S BLEEDING

Still afraid of all the things I can’t deny Still afraid to accept the hurt in your eyes I guess it’s still the thought of you that gets me through the night

Sing me a sad song, sing me a love song Never meant to cause you so much pain Darling, understand me hold me, forgive me

Minutes turn to hours, hours turn to days In the time I stay away I guess no earthly ship Might bring me home again Still I feel every second Without you Still I feel every second Without you

Still I feel it Still I feel it

Still afraid of the things I left behind Still afraid to let go of the deep pain inside I guess it’s still the thought of you that helps me last the night

Sing me a sad song, sing me a love song Never meant to cause you so much pain Darling, understand me embrace me, forgive me

Days turn to months, months turn to years In the time I stay away I guess no earthly soul Might bring me home again Still I feel every second Without you Still I feel every second Without you

Still I feel it Still I feel it

SNAPSHOTS IN SEPIA

When I was child I’d sit down by the river watch my old man walkin’ up that hill to our old town’s dying mine I remember him stood at my door always so strong through those cold and troubled times

I remember the way he held my hand the way he put me up upon his shoulders how come the small moments feel so much bigger in the days when you get so very much older

this is still my old man’s town this is still my old man’s town

Memories of those long passed days they’re always with me and remain with me still Waters that continue to run so very deep and so very still

Well, these days I see through much wiser eyes now I understand a quiet pride that gets a man through the hardest of times

this is still my old man’s town this is still my old man’s town

this ol’ town is all so washed up now but I still remember driving through it sat next to my old man his gaze always steady, a pride in his eyes a young boy could never hope to under stand

I guess it’s only now I truly understand it’s only when you become your own man you really see who your father was to you all the things he tried so very hard to teach you

this is still my old man’s town this is still my old man’s town

With thanks to Bruce Springsteen

LAND OF STARS & STRIPES

Well now pa, would you be proud of your once wayward son Who tried to leave behind all the bad things he once done would you see that your son’s finally grown up now would you see that I finally got some standing in this town of ours now

Well now pa, I got myself away from the pool hall hustlers and the jukebox pimps got myself a badge, a gun got myself some official strips Every day pa, since you been gone tried to do an honest job tried my very best to be an honest man but sometimes being honest is never enough to pay the bills of a family man

Well now pa, got myself in a bad accident down on highway 29 messed my leg up pretty bad on that rainy night and still my leg hurts the pain it don’t go away Well now pa, driving in this ol’ patrol car is my life it’s how I get me an’ my family through the tougher days but with my leg I still gotta suffer day after day

Every day pa, those damn hospital bills they got too much same way they always do when a man’s got a family he does the things he has to do Well, only had my monthly prescription just to get me by but pa, it was never enough for this damn pain of mine made some bad decisions pa, I let some bad men get away I turned my head so my bills I can pay

I let my honest eyes go blind I stepped over to the other side just to get some extra pills just to pay the godamn bills just to keep my pain at bay

Well now pa, what else is an honest man to do when he’s a simple family man too Well now pa, I’ve given every thing to this land of stars and stripes this land of all our sweet and jaded American dreams but these days I wonder pa what has it really given me these days I wonder pa would you now be so proud of me

IF YOU DREAM

One day you’ll finally come to find your proper place One day everyone will know your timeless grace If you dream baby If you dream One day you’ll be okay with all of your past One day you’ll learn how to make the good days last If you dream baby If you dream

One day they’ll all see you for just who you are One day you’ll finally accept who you really are If you dream baby If you dream One day you’ll learn to live your days again One day you’ll get to walk under the sun again If you dream baby If you dream

One day you’ll even learn how to like yourself One day you won’t want to be anyone else If you dream baby If you dream One day you’ll find the summer behind your eyes One day you’ll get to stare up at clear blue skies If you dream baby If you dream

One day you’ll find the things you hoped to find One day you’ll remember how to smile If you dream baby If you dream One day the pain won’t hurt you so bad One day you won’t have to feel so sad If you dream baby If you dream

MY DADDY’S GONE

Daddy’s gone, daddy’s gone, gotta pick myself up from the ground somehow now got to find a way to help myself just carry on somehow now Daddy’s gone, daddy’s gone got to find a way to fill such big ol’ boots somehow now

Daddy’s gone, daddy’s gone, got to learn how to be the strong one somehow now Daddy’s gone, daddy’s gone got to be the man of the family somehow now Daddy’s gone, daddy’s gone got to find a way to sleep somehow now

Daddy’s gone, daddy’s gone, got to learn how to be a different me somehow now Daddy’s gone, daddy’s gone got to try not to weep somehow now Daddy’s gone, daddy’s gone got to not scream out at the world somehow now

got to not let my demons win somehow now got to be a man now got to grow up now got to hang up this young soul now Daddy’s gone daddy’s gone

My daddy’s gone My daddy’s gone

HEALING HOUSE

Empty eyes stare from the mirror It seems a while before I realise they’re mine

How are we going to get through today?

Said things might get better Never seemed to realise things can never be just fine

How are we going to get through today?

Will we still feel the pain inside? Will we still heal the scars under the veil of this bitter night? Will we still feel the shadows seep into our dreams before the morning light? Will we ever get to set ourselves out upon a new road?

Will we find ourselves a healing house for these old wounded souls of ours Will we ever find a place where you and I can live out our final hours Will we find ourselves a healing house for these old wounded souls of ours

We need to heal we need to heal heal ourselves again

We need to find ourselves a new lullaby if there ain’t no love left to keep our dream alive

We need to heal we need to heal heal ourselves again

SMART MOUTHED KIDS

Smart mouthed kids, thought we had the world in our hands Smart mouthed kids, hanging on street corners and making a stand against a world we couldn’t possibly ever under stand

Whatever happened to those days Whatever happened to those days When we thought we could rule the world?

Smart mouthed kids, behind the sheds alcohol in our hands Smart mouthed kids, lighting up cigarettes and not giving a damn caught in world we couldn’t possibly ever under stand

Whatever happened to those days Whatever happened to those days When we thought we could fight the world?

Whatever happened to those words? Whatever happened to the girl? Whatever happened to all the places we were gonna see? Whatever happened to all the things we were gonna be

Whatever happened to the smart mouthed kids? Whatever happened to the smart mouthed kids?

[phantom-chirp]

@sword-lily4951 I vaguely considered that song before but actually thinking about it deeper now, connecting some of the lyrics in that song to them is so... gah, rambling time again, this one got a bit long so I'm putting it under the cut

The lines you brought up relate real well with Akechi's thoughts towards Ren yeah, this is definitely a strictly Akechi POV song. Multiple other lines stood out to me, such as:

"I hate the air he breathes His foolish decrees, his words so contrived And I hate the way the townspeople gather outside They hang on every breath Cling to his chest, home to his heart full of pride" <- I can imagine these lines connecting to Akechi's thoughts about how Ren was able to get a bunch of people on his side and a bunch of friends despite the circumstances that brought him to Tokyo in the first place, which is something Akechi was never able to have. The first two lines would also relate well to the whole Phantom Thieves thing as well

"Something wicked this way comes And as I set to face it, I'm unsure Should I embrace it, should I run?" <- Related to everything Akechi does in the game I imagine, especially after meeting Ren, he would have doubts that he doesn't let himself properly work through. I mean, the whole "i wish we met a few years earlier" or however he said that is a pretty big hint at that idea, but Akechi can't really allow himself to think about those things because he's already committed to taking down Shido at all costs, so he feels he can't stop now

"What motivates me - hatred? Is it love?" <- I really like thinking about what Akechi's inner thoughts during the events of the game would be, because his thoughts towards Ren are complicated and, due to the jealously aspect of it, partly negative, but the game itself points out how Akechi doesn't hate Ren. I imagine with Akechi's more positive feelings towards Ren, he tries to ignore them by either actively or subconsciously convincing himself that he hates Ren, especially because it would make the fact that he has to kill him easier. Even with Akechi in general his motivations for what he does can be related back to that, his hatred for Shido and his need to be wanted by people

"My name is Brutus and my name means heavy So with a heavy heart I'll guide this dagger Into the heart of my enemy My whole life, you were a teacher and friend to me" <- Akechi's complicated feelings towards Ren, calling him both his enemy and his friend. Akechi doesn't really want to kill Ren, "with a heavy heart I'll guide this dagger into the heart of my enemy"

"Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy" <- More about Akechi's complicated motivations and feelings towards Ren and that it's not just because of the envy, as well as the deeper reasoning behind why he's doing what he's doing which is to take down Shido

"I too have a destiny This death will be art The people will speak of this day from near and afar This event will be history And I'll be great too" <- Double meaning with "I too have a destiny" which would be how Akechi has dedicated his whole life to the end goal of taking down Shido and also how, unknown to him, he and Ren were destined to fight each other. The rest of the lines would just relate to Akechi's need to be seen and wanted by people, and to be someone who is special

"I don't want what you have I wanna be you" <- Back to Akechi's jealously towards Ren, two sides of the same coin and all that. This lines connection to that idea is pretty straight forward

I'm. realizing just how much I enjoy connecting songs to characters

I'm gonna share the songs I have in my shuake playlist currently because why not. There's no specific order to these

Feel free to ask me to further elaborate on any of the songs here I will gladly answer. And if anyone has any song recommendations that fit them... gimme

(Put them all under the cut, but here is also a link to a post with the actual playlist)

Black Bear - Black Bear

phony (English Cover) - Will Stetson

Cigarettes & Feelings - The Haunt

taixu - lasah × sasakure.UK

Bishounen - Hikaru Station

Dizzy On the Comedown - Turnover

Justice - Dirt Poor Robins

Bring Her Back - Dirt Poor Robins

I'm Your Man - Mitski

Say It - The Crane Wives

Carve A Name - Mother Mother

My Heart Feels No Pain - The Glass Pyramids (feat. Kayla Brown)

Astronomy - Conan Gray

Buzzcut Season - Lorde

Love Love Love - Of Monsters And Men

[alkalinefrog]

If you were to make a Lawlight playlist, what songs would you have on it?

OHOHO ohhh man, bless you for this ask

Ok, I wanted to tell the story of their relationship from when they first meet, their cat-and-mouse rivalry, their bonding during yotsuba arc, the betrayal, making up, and wrap it all up with a happy ending! I’m also really into making playlists with fun transitions between songs.

Here ya go, listen to them in order for the full experience! I made a youtube playlist for it here

Fight the War - Kittie Harloe

Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer

Such a Whore (Stellular Remix) - JVLA (this one’s optional lol)

Made for You - OneRepublic

Great Big Storm - Nathan Ruess

Read My Mind - The Killers

Someone To You - BANNERS

Geronimo - Sheppard

You Light My Fire - Nate Ruess

If I Lose Myself - OneRepublic

The Death of Me - Marianas Trench

Porcelain - Marianas Trench

Lights Out, Words Gone - Bombay Bicycle Club

Lost My Mind - Alice Kristiansen

Blood // Water - grandson

Lions and Dragons - Zach Williams

To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra

Only the Lonely Survive - Marianas Trench

If you listen to it, lemme know what you think! If you wanna know more about each song choice, read my play-by-play expo below the cut!

Fight the War - Pre-relationship! The cat-and-mouse chase. The game of chess. Catch me if you can! Not romantic yet, we’re setting the stage!

Teeth - This one’s pretty self-explanatory LMAO. Their first meeting and it’s electric! They hate each other, but they’re catching feelings, and they hate that they’re catching feelings.

Such a Whore (Stellular Remix) - Aight, hear me out. Their relationship’s got layers. This one’s super love/hate and spicy lol. It’s pretty self-indulgent. You can omit this one if you want, it’s admittedly the weakest link in terms of playlist flow.

Made For You - Still dancing around one another, sizing the other up. (also love the church-like vocals at the end. Perfectly eerie! It really fits the themes of the show) --- and I’m REAL PROUD of the transition here between songs

Great Big Storm - Yotsuba arc time! Tonal shift! This one’s sort of when their relationship transitions into something more genuine; more supportive. Things start to get more joyful! I see it as mostly from Light’s perspective, especially the verse lyrics about falling asleep --- “But sometimes I fall sleep at night, and I just know you're smiling at me / Oh, one day I'm gonna make this up to you“

Read My Mind - They’re stuck together 24/7. They can’t avoid talking, man. But the more they talk, the more they find they intuitively understand the other. They start not-so-subtly flirting (”A subtle kiss that no one sees”) ---- also love this line for them: “Woman, open the door, don't let it sting /  I wanna breathe that fire again“

These next few are just more relationship vibes! Bonding time!

Someone To You - L’s POV! He’s falling, and falling HARD. He wants to come out of the shadows for Light-- to give him the world! I imagine that this is still all in his head. Daydreaming about what could be!

Geronimo - Deciding to take the plunge! I imagine this like a montage.

You Light My Fire - CELEBRATE! Both of them are super giddy! I like the lyrics about going to bed after a fight for them! “I wanna throw the fight and kiss away your pain tonight But that would only make this harder She can't stand to sleep alone, ah no, and I hate losing so I wait till we get tired“

If I Lose Myself - First-time vibes :’D awww

The Death of Me - They wake up one day and realize: “Oh. Oh no. This is a bad idea, a really REALLY bad idea--- but I can’t help it!” Tonal shift back and forth from hype to introspective back to hype for the internal argument. The lyrics are pretty on the nose lol. (the end of the song also has some creepy whispering ‘cuz it’s supposed to be listened to in the context of the album, but it helps lead into the next song SO WELL.)

Porcelain - This is a moment of weakness. Someone slips up; something’s brought to the light. They’re only human. No going back now.

Lights Out, Words Gone - Angst time! They comforted each other during the last song, but neither of them like being vulnerable. They have a lot of work to do if this is going to last. They make up by the end of the song. Love the lyrics about lies! Pretty apt for these two: “Keep your old and wasted word My heart is breaking like you heard But the town has always turned These lies and made them all burn”

Lost My Mind - Gently falling deeper and deeper. Too fast; too soon. They know they’re running out of time, but it’s so easy to ignore that when they’re with each other.

Blood // Water - KIRA’S BACK. BETRAYAL. REALITY COMES CRASHING DOWN. (I really like the transition into this one)

Lions and Dragons - The aftermath of the betrayal. Light’s the Dragon, breathing fire, and L’s the Lion, burned. “I lost you again And I lost my mind And I told folks that they Shouldn't call for a while You should write me one evening And point out all the problems that happened But I'll still wait and dream That you are the lion and I am the dragon” (lowkey, this was my go-to breakup song in college lol)

To Build a Home - They’ve both hurt and been hurt. They’ll never forget, because if they did their forgiveness would be meaningless. Light remembers everything he’s done -- he’ll never not be Kira. But they’re ready to move forward. They’ve chosen each other.

Only the Lonely Survive - Bringing the mood back up! I couldn’t not end this on something upbeat. They deserve to have some fun! Love the lyrics in this one for them! They’ve accepted what their relationship will always be, and embrace it! (I also love that the harmonization makes it sound like they’re singing to each other) “I don't know how you feel yourself But I'd rather hurt here than be happy somewhere else No one will scar me like you do But no one will ever be compared, compared to you” -------AND “But I know A love like this will end in tragedy You know Every kiss suspendin' gravity Burns us both To love this close We lose ourselves And I know we won't get out alive But only the lonely survive” (If I can find the time I’d love to animate them singing this chorus)

And that’s that! If you want an album for Lawlight vibes, I highly recommend “Phantoms” by Marianas Trench. It was hard not to just copy/paste all the songs from it into the playlist.

[transsexualhamlet]

If you're still doing the song ask can you do Sherliam?

Yes, of course! Sorry it took me a while to get to this one lol but yessss

Song ask was make a 10 song playlist for a ship or character and since I think there's demand for this Im just gonna stick it in the actual sherliam tag!

Generally, it's a lot easier for me to do characters than ships but I have actually thought about this one a lot. I know a lot of the songs are pretty basic, but they work really well so stfu. I tried to put these in chronological order according to the storyline from when they first met to where things are now, but a lot of them would be simultaneous, so yeah lol

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5flNUgIR44PNjUOd8inbgh?si=8ac0229621ba4694

Catch Me If You Can by Set It Off: I made an amv for this song as well with them, and I really cannot think of any song that fits them more than this one to be perectly honest. I mean. Catch me if you can. But seriously it is everything with how they interact with each other. They're having way too much fun with the game, they're playing with each other and leading each other on and both on opposite sides and completely in sync. Motherfuckers are basically canonical soulmates but hmm intellectually fighting each other is basically sex for them.

From The Gallows by IDK HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: As soon as I read ynm I knew this was exactly Liam to Sherlock. I think a lot of my ships fit this dynamic very well, but. Yeah. Mans is like yes we are enemies yes I'm deeply in love with you please judge me to be worth saving or not so if you don't think you can kill me and I'll be happy. Pretty straight forward there.

Masterpiece Theatre I by Marianas Trench: This one is Liam singing, and I think that altogether, the whole set of those three masterpiece theatre songs work for the whole series, both the anime and manga. But the first one especially. God, it works so well. It's all this incredibly guilt ridden person lamenting their great plan and how at the end they 100 percent plan to let it all be destroyed, including themself, over Yearning towards someone they're not supposed to be with and that they've been hiding a lot from. They've become all lies and fronts and they've had to ignore all their emotions for quite some time, and all they want to do is give it all up and cry into this person's arms even if it would go against everything they've worked for, even if it would kill them.

Collar Full by P!ATD: This one is pretty easy, I think both of them could be singing it at once. They're both awfully head over heels for each other and they've been pining for an ungodly amount of time that their natural state is just Yearning, but they know that if they ever got together it would be a chemical reaction that would destroy everything. All of the world is watching them and they have to hide it or die, they know if they were to be open about their secrets there would be nothing left between them to stop it from all falling apart, so they'll try to be together and try to pretend to be oblivious to why they can't. At this point though, it's been so long and all they've done is fall farther that they don't really care and they would rather collide and let the chaos happen just for the chance to embrace each other. AND "You've got a pocket full of reasons why you're here tonight, so baby tonight just be... the death of me" is LITERALLY JUST THE CANON

Hell by Dear Sherlock: I cannot believe how lucky i was to come across a song by a band called DEAR SHERLOCK? But yeah this one basically delves into Liam in the final problem, in his thoughts and in his letter. He's not in a good place at all, and he's sunk to his darkest, thinking himself to basically be the devil incarnate, and things are coming to their climax, shit's going to go down, and he's obsessed with trying to get Sherlock to kill him and end it all. Liam has been holding back all his emotions for a long time and they're all going off at once and he wants to expose all of them to Sherlock alone, leaving him vulnerable. Even though it's the thing he's always been most scared of, he craves it. He knows he's in love and he knows that's a problem but he'll do anything to die at Sherlock's hands at this point and he's convinced that Sherlock must hate him enough to do it but he'll confess everything anyway.

Achilles Come Down by Gang Of Youths: Surely, everyone knows this song, and it can be way overdone, but once again... it's them. Sherlock is desperately trying to convince Liam not to jump. Liam isn't listening.

Come With Me by Chxrlotte: I've actually made a sherliam amv to this song. I just happened to stumble across it and every single lyric fits perfectly into the storyline, especially in the anime. It's super soft and shippy yknow but this one is definitely Sherlock singing it- he doesn't care if they're supposed to be on opposite sides, he wants to make Liam happy even if the whole world is against it. He'll cross any line to reach him and he wants to always be there for him and even if he has to wait years and years he'll always forgive him and no matter what he believes they'll eventually reunite.

It's Alright by Mother Mother: Man, this song always gets me, but I think this really encompasses how good they can be for each other after it all goes down. They've both been incredibly reckless, self destructive, and kind of fucked up. They each have complimentary problems that make them feel like they're barely worth being alive. But because they love each other so much and they want the other to survive and be happy, neither of them is allowed to die, and they're going to live on together and they're going to heal each other and they're going to cry to each other and embrace each other and learn to live with themselves and get better and fix everything. God, they need it so much, and they need each other.

In Our Bedroom After The War by Stars: Again, I know this song is overdone, but just imagine this after the fall? Imagine this when they're both healing from the fall and learning to live with Billy in America? And like, it's a really tentative time, they're all still hurting so much and Sherlock has got to constantly worry if Liam is gonna throw himself off the fucking roof? But he hasn't yet and it looks less and less likely that he's gonna, so that's one good thing at least. They're able to settle down and try to calm their nerves and get away from the shit that's happened, and they cling to a very domestic routine, at once still so broken but healing and constantly reminded of just how much they have to be thankful for.

Laughter Lines by Bastille: I've always thought of this as a song for nezushi (from no. 6) because of the whole eventual reunion somewhere far down the line yearning but GOD they REALLY DID THAT IN THE ANIME and even kind of in the manga they have still been separate from each other a lot and on like, other ends of the goddamn planet. They spent a long time trying to be able to reach each other and get together, and they finally got to a good spot where they're able to accept it. Because so many things happened and there was a lot yet to be done, they had to leave each other for a long time with no way to contact each other, but they'll be waiting for the time when the other can finally come back and they're both healed enough to settle down. Cries real tears.

[becausethathappens]

i love the way you write. can you tell me something nice to calm my nerves? my day has been awful and the way you write takes me out of it, instantly. *currently rereading everything you've written on ao3 ignore the kudos that might give this away 👀*

anonnnnnnnnn. 🤚💓

something nice: rhett and link have been together longer than i’ve been alive. (i’m more than three decades old. 😩)

and something short for you, because this made me blush:

-———————-

needs no conversation

1k - Rhett and Link duet for the first time.

songs referenced: yesterday’s wine / islands in the stream

-

Over a year passes after Rhett's voice dropped before he starts using it as regularly as he used to. More than once, trying to sing along to whatever's on the radio and having his voice crack and squeak has led to teasing from friends and family alike. He's gun-shy to hold a tune until he's sure the baritone that his register has changed to is permanent.

Poor Link's voice has only gotten higher, since around the same time, but the elasticity and charm of it suits his personality.

It's years into being grumpy, monosyllabic teenagers before they feel happy enough to sing aloud, let alone together.

One night, while they’re stuffed with pizza and sketching tree forts (they're sick of lugging all their things to the river, every time they swim and want a place to store belongings in the woods, closer by), Rhett finds himself singing along to Yesterday's Wine with a full-throated joy that makes Link's insides swirl. It's certainly the most he's used his voice, confidently, since it's settled on this octave.

Rhett's voice sounds good. Objectively good and better than it's maybe ever sounded.

Link, shyly, joins in because he's sure the longer he sits and listens, it'll become a problem for his head or his heart or both. It unsettles him.

He's not more than three seconds into the chorus, singing along with George Jones' section, when he notices that Rhett's set aside his writing instruments, as well, and is looking over at him.

In near the same way that Link was looking at him.

It's then, right that second, Link hears it.

The natural harmony they've stumbled across.

The song's over too soon. 

With busy eyes and unsteady hands, Link scrambles over to the tape deck to switch out to another song. The next up was a solo b-side from Merle's early work that won’t showcase what he’s just heard.

He picks the first tape with a duet he can find.

Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.

It's just to prove a theory, the song choice. Selected because Link knows it has two distinct singers. Not much thought going into it beyond that.

He pops the tape into the player and hits play. He feigns looking down at his drawings for a moment, like he's merely changing the background music and returning to them.

But after a few seconds, he can't withhold his interest and looks up. 

Rhett's still staring right at him.

And he doesn’t seem to have stopped this whole time.

As the music fades in softly, his eyes are soft and doe-y. 

To Link’s surprise, he starts to sing, clearly begging Link, wordlessly, to do the same in the next verse.

"Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb," Rhett begins.

Link stares at him, takes it in. He lets his ears adjust and come to grips with the fact that Rhett's voice really sounds that smooth and adult, overpowering Kenny's easily in the quiet room with the volume purposefully low.

They both know the lyrics.

"I was soft inside There was something going on," Rhett sings.

Link’s smile breaks wide, an outburst of shocked elation that Rhett sound only improves. He really sounds this good. Professionally good.

An idea bubbles into his mind, one he'd never dare to think if not so immersed in the candied daydream of hearing his friend's beautiful voice echo around the small bedroom for what feels like the first time. He's picturing Rhett singing this for an audience, his unused hand holding a microphone, as Link watches Rhett drum a steady one-two rhythm along with the beat into his thigh.

Link does the same and then immediately jumps in on the first harmony.

"You do something to me that I can't explain Hold me closer and I feel no pain Every beat of my heart We got something going on," they sing together.

Link's eyes dart back and forth, feeling zapped by the electricity of how their voices sound paired together. 

It’s not just Rhett.

He takes in that, to his ears, his voice sounds much deeper than it has in years. When he sings with Rhett, trying to match the key change, it feels like Rhett is sharing some of his baritone. His own lifts up, as though to meet Link halfway.

Their words tumble out over each other in a kind of velvety sophistication that makes Link picture them both on a stage performing. It makes Link's heart leap, how natural it would seem, were it to be like this.

"Tender love is blind It requires a dedication," Rhett belts out, getting into it.

Link grins and nods. They could lead the choir at church.

They both sing, "All this love we feel needs no conversation We ride it together, ah ha."

Rhett wiggles back and forth to the beat, Link joins in.

"Making love with each other, ah ha," they sing, blushing. 

Rhett laughs, inaudibly, in respect to the music, at how silly that line sounds, when sung by the two of them. 

"Islands in the stream That is what we are No one in between How can we be wrong Sail away with me To another world And we rely on each other, ah ha From one lover to another, ah ha," they harmonize.

Link's eyes shine. They could start a band.

Link sings, "I can't live without you if the love was gone Everything is nothing if you got no one And you did walk in the night Slowly losing sight of the real thing."

Rhett's eyes are also shining back. Link is already sure that he'll agree to the idea. He hardly ever says no, in Link's experience. 

They sing, "But that won't happen to us and we got no doubt Too deep in love and we got no way out And the message is clear This could be the year for the real thing."

He pictures their names on a marquee.

Link closes his eyes and sings, "No more will you cry Baby, I will hurt you never."

He imagines their album cover, posed like Lionel or Merle.

Rhett joins him, "We start and end as one In love forever We can ride it together, ah ha Making love with each other, ah ha."

Link nods along, lost in fantasy.

"Islands in the stream That is what we are No one in between How can we be wrong Sail away with me To another world And we rely on each other, ah ha From one lover to another, ah ha," they recite in tandem.

Link opens his eyes again and is struck by the fact that Rhett's eyes are also open or have still never closed. 

Once again the ZING of amazement bolts through him at how strongly the affection and pride on Rhett's face beams at him.

They sing, "Sail away Oh come sail away with me."

The chorus repeats twice, both of them staring like that the whole time, and Link fights the urge to reach out and join their hands as if in prayer. He's seen duets do that before, like Sonny and Cher. He understands the impulse, now. He wants nothing more than to chase this connected, harmonious feeling, now and perhaps the rest of his life.

Entertain himself and others, alongside Rhett.

As the song finishes, they sing, "Islands in the stream That is what we are No one in between."

This is their ticket out.

A solo track ticks on next and the spell is somewhat broken. 

Link leans back and laughs, covering his mouth with both palms at once. 

Rhett settles, blushing, and hides his mouth with the back of his right hand. It also masks the smile growing fast at Link’s reaction. 

It feels like they've just discovered a secret too great for them to know.

"That was so good," Link tells him, honest.

"I 's just thinkin' that," Rhett agrees, chuckling. "Don't think I've ever been able to hold an melody like that. You hit the high notes dead-on."

"And that was some professional-grade crooning," Link assures him.

"Oh, don't know about that," Rhett dismisses.

"No, I'm serious. We should start a band," Link says, earnestly.

Rhett watches him for a few seconds, trying to judge whether or not he's serious. When he sees no hesitation, finally, he smirks.

"Okay," Rhett agrees, looking thrilled.

Link grins back at him.

"It's like it was written about us, too. We've got an island in a stream. If you could count the river as one. How’s that for song choice?" Link asks, playfully.

Rhett frowns. "That's... not what the song - it's about - " Rhett looks at Link funny, then continues, "It's not about that. D'you even listen to the lyrics?"

"No," Link answers, easy and truthful.

"You really wanna start a band with me?” Rhett’s eyes fall and he scratches the back of his head. “If you got distracted while I was singing?"

"Rhett, I got distracted by your singing," Link explains.

Rhett looks down. "Oh."

There's a long pause.

"Well, I got distracted by you, too."

Link's eyes widen.

"By your singing," Rhett adds, hastily.

Link rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Unsure how else Rhett would've expected him to take that.

The blush that warms his chest also brings with it a smile.

He rewinds the tape so they can begin again.

[dirtydobrik]

your heart was glass, i dropped it - j.w.

plot: you and jeff have been together for a few years but when you stumble across an engagement ring, your relationship changes

word count: 1650

masterlist

note: i started writing this over the summer with no direction on how to end it but champagne problems by taylor swift inspired me to finish this (title is a lyric from the song)

“Babe, can I use your computer?” you asked, as you poured yourself another cup of coffee. You had spent the night at your boyfriend's, and even though you had taken the day off from work, you needed to check if any emails you had gotten required an immediate response.

“Of course,” Jeff said. "Just don’t get sucked into work, you took the day off for a reason," he reminded.  

"I'll only be an hour, two tops," you promised, giving him a quick kiss before taking your coffee mug into his office and settling into his desk chair. You powered on his desktop computer and silently hoped you didn’t have a lot of work to do.

You opened a new web browser to log into your email account, but a website in the bookmarks bar quickly caught your eye. Curious as to why he had a jeweler bookmarked, you clicked on the link. Your heart stopped when you saw a diamond ring pop up on the screen. The ring was stunning: it was simple and elegant but also modern and everything you could possibly want in an engagement ring. But a part of you knew you didn’t want the ring, or any ring. Despite being together for almost three years, you and Jeff hadn’t really talked about marriage, and to be honest, you weren’t sure it was something you ever wanted.

An engagement ring made everything real. It elevated what the relationship was and required a level of commitment you weren’t sure you could handle. Aside from the pressures of a marriage, you were also worried about how this would affect your career. You were currently working as an intern for an entertainment attorney and in your third and final year of law school at UCLA. Your future was still ahead of you and you had no idea where you would end up. Jeff's life was heavily based in LA, and you knew you didn't want to do a long distance relationship with him but you also didn't want to force yourself to stay here.  

You needed to get your mind off of the ring, and finally got to work. You logged into your email to reply to the few you had, as well as reviewing a handful documents and answering a few phone calls. An hour and a half later, you were finalizing your last email when Jeff knocked on the door. He poked his head in to make sure you weren't on a call before crossing the room and wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You felt yourself tense up when you felt his arms and prayed he didn't notice as you took a deep breath and tried to relax. Jeff rested his chin on the top of your head, looking at the post-it notes you had randomly placed on his desk.

"Busy morning?" he remarked, and you nodded.

"But I'm done now," you said, your eyes quickly scanning the email you just written and hitting send. You signed out of your email account and closed the browser. You set the sticky notes you needed to keep into a pile and tossed the others into the small trashcan before spinning around to face your boyfriend. "What's our plan for the day?" you asked, needing something to distract you from the looming thoughts of a proposal.

"Let's take a drive," Jeff grinned.

His hand rested on your inner thigh as he drove along the coast. The windows were rolled down and Jeff was humming to the songs playing softly on the radio, but your mind was elsewhere. You absentmindedly picked at the skin around your nails as you imagined potential scenarios that could lead to a proposal tonight. You knew you weren't thinking logically right now, but the engagement ring Jeff had bookmarked kept clouding your judgment. You knew stopping to watch the sunset over the cliffs wouldn't necessarily lead to a proposal, you guys did that all the time. But the fact that you did it so often made you think it was a reasonable way for Jeff to ask you to marry him.

You saw Jeff's mouth move but you didn’t have a clue what he was saying.

"Babe, are you okay?" he repeated, looking over at you.

You nodded. "Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind and a killer migraine right now," you lied.

 When you got back to Jeff's apartment, you told him you were going to take a nap while he edited a video.

  “What’s goin on with you?” Jeff asked, as you diced an onion for the homemade tomato sauce you were making for dinner.  

“Nothing,” you muttered, not wanting to start a fight. You scraped the diced onion off the cutting board and into the hot pan. He could tell you were distant and distracted by something but he had no idea what it was.

"It's obviously something. You've been quiet and ignoring me all day," he pointed out and you scolded yourself for making things obvious.

"Jeff, I really don't want to talk about it," you insisted, your eyes silently pleading with him to drop the subject. He sighed, desperately wanting to have the conversation. He hated how closed off you were, how you never talked about your feelings, how you used work and school as an excuse to get out of things.

But he knew you wouldn’t say anything, so he dropped the subject, instead telling you about his day. He watched you force a smile as he talked and even though he knew you were trying to act interested, your mind was elsewhere.

You added crushed tomatoes into the pan, and asked Jeff to fill a pot with water so you could boil it for the pasta.

 You took two plates out of the cabinet and plated the pasta. You brought them over to the kitchen table, where Jeff was already sitting.

“Smells delicious,” he grinned, and you gave him a half smile and a quick thanks.

You sat down across from him, telling him about how work had gone and what your schedule for next week looked like, but the entire time, you couldn’t stop thinking about the engagement ring. The candles on the dining table remained unlit and you knew Jeff was a romantic, but thoughts of him getting down on one knee and proposing kept creeping into your mind. As badly as you wanted to be fully present with him today, you just couldn’t.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" Jeff asked, putting his fork down and locking eyes with you. You nodded, unable to form a sentence, but he didn’t believe it. “Honey, talk to me,” he urged, annoyed that you had been avoiding something all day.  

You sighed, dropping your metal fork on to the ceramic plate. “It's nothing, I just don’t want to ruin what we already have,” you said, staring blankly at him.

Jeff’s eyebrows knit together, confusion plastered across his face. “What the hell are you talking about?” he questioned. Things between the two of you were fine and he didn't have a clue what could ruin it.

“I know about the ring, Jeff,” you admitted and his jaw dropped. Not wanting to start a fight, you stood up from the table, pushing your chair back. Jeff reached for your arm, his eyes meeting yours, and you reluctantly sat back down. His hand wrapped around your fingers, as you rested your hand on the table. He didn’t know what to say, so he waited for you to talk.  

 "I can't say yes," you whispered, looking down at the kitchen table. Jeff slowly ran his thumb across your cheek to wipe away your tears. He was at a loss for words. "I love you, Jeff, I truly do. But I'm about to graduate law school and I'm just starting my career. I don't want to pass on an incredible opportunity because it's not in LA, and I know that your life is here, and I wouldn't ever make you move for me but long distance sucks," you rambled on, telling him about how you weren't sure you ever wanted to get married or have kids and how you were too young to make life decisions. You could tell Jeff was biting his tongue, trying to hold back.

"I love you," he spoke softly, his eyes watering.

"I love you, too, but that's not all that matters. You deserve to be with someone who can commit to you. You deserve to have the family you've always dreamed of. You deserve someone better than me."

"But I want to be with you," he insisted. Your teary eyes met his and you slowly shook your head. You couldn’t let him stay with you, not when you knew you couldn't give him everything he wanted in life.

"I'm sorry." You stood up from the table, trying to hold back your sobs, leaving him lost and confused.  

"I didn’t buy it," he muttered, his eyes bloodshot as he leaned against the doorframe of his bedroom, where you were packing all of your things. "But would it have been the worst thing in the world if I asked you to marry me?"

You took a deep breath, turning to face him, but when you opened your mouth, no words came out. All you could do was nod, silently breaking his heart.

You finished filling your duffle bag and slung it over your shoulder. Your eyes filled with tears as you avoided meeting Jeff's gaze, not wanting to make the situation worse than it needed to be.

"I love you," you said, standing on your toes and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "And I'm so sorry," you whispered before opening the front door and walking out, leaving behind the love you shared and the life you two had built together.

[theimprobabledreamersworld]

Don’t Let Them Hurt You- Ao3

It took a lot longer that planned, but this Pintroverts one shot is complete! :D

The plot around this one is based on Nico getting an anon hate message on song lyrics he posted online, and Thomas then comforts him and helps him see past it... It was something I had sitting in my WIP folder for a while but initially I was struggling with writing it. So I delved into the realm of personal experience for the hurt and the comfort parts ☺️

I hope you enjoy reading it! <3

General writing taglist: @psychedelicships @jwillowwolf @lost-in-thought-20 @writerwithtoomanyships @red-imeanblue (If you’d like to be added/removed let me know!)

Read on Ao3!

Don’t Let Them Hurt You.

Pintroverts. Hurt/Comfort/Fluff

Warnings: Upset moments, anon hate message, self-deprication.

Nico scribbled furiously, his pen refusing to leave the crumpled piece of paper he found in his bag. The song lyrics raced into his mind while he was out with Thomas an hour ago. He smiled as he thought about his new boyfriend. It was like a breath of fresh air, a clarity in his clouded over world, the writer’s block he had been struggling with for months went away almost instantly after they met in that food court as few months ago. Before, he would stare at his laptop willing words to appear, but his mind wasn’t in it and his fingers wouldn’t type. As the days ticked on and not even a single word appeared on the screen, the lack of motivation set in, and he almost gave up on his newest project… but Thomas crashed his way into Nico’s life and stopped that from happening. In fact, he had already set up several more documents with song ideas in them ready to write as soon as he could, and he couldn’t wait to share them with the people who followed his blog.

Nico’s little following were always so kind and supportive, they were the main reason he kept going with writing songs. People have asked if they can perform his lyrics and he was always blown away by the sheer talent of some of his followers. How he got so lucky, he would never know, but Nico valued every single of them. He finally reached the end of the page, and as the pen fell to the paper with a satisfied clatter, he took a deep breath and pushed the chair away from the desk. He sighed and stretched his arms above his head.

He was never one to speak very positively about himself, but he had a feeling that this was his best song yet. All he needed to do was look it over, type it up and publish it. He hoped that his followers would feel the same. He felt like he should wait for Thomas to come back from getting take-out so he could be the first one to see it, he was the inspiration for it after all. However, the excitement got the better of him, and he remembered that Thomas has notifications on for his blog, so he would be one of the first people to see it. His mind was made up and Nico raced off to get the lyrics typed up.

The word document was opened with lightning speed. The blank space was suddenly being filled with words and emotions at a rapid pace, it was becoming a tapestry right before his eyes and he began to realise just how much he had missed writing. Sooner rather than later, he was finished. He started at his finished work and then opened his blog. Should he really post this? It was his most emotive song yet, and it definitely makes it clear that there is someone in his life now. He couldn’t be happier. How someone as amazing as Thomas wants to be a part of his life, he’ll never work out, but he wasn’t complaining. He took a deep breath before opening his blog and creating a post. He fingers shook a little as he typed out his usual message that he puts at the end of all of his posts.

‘Hey everyone! Just wanted to thank you all once again for your support and patience while I took a while to come up with some new song lyrics! I owe this one to someone incredibly special who crashed into my life recently, and I hope it comes across in this song <3 I genuinely don’t feel like I deserve the support you give me but know that I value you all with my heart and soul. Nico <3’

The overwhelming sense of pride as he hit ‘post’ made his heart beat agonizingly fast, but he couldn’t keep the blog open otherwise he would start to worry about what people think. So he texted Thomas instead checking in to find out what time he’d be coming over. The reply came through almost instantly, 20 minutes, only 20 minutes he had to wait. As Thomas signed off with the signature purple heart, he smiled and held his phone close to his chest. Nico felt his pulse continue to race, he had never felt this for anyone else before and it was unusual, but in the best way possible.

His laptop began to ping with notifications and even though he tried to ignore them, he caved and opened his blog up. To say that Nico was blown away by the response would have been the biggest understatement of the century. He smiled widely as more comments and reactions poured in, at least other people liked the song lyrics as much as he did. He felt on top of the world, until one more comment popped up and it felt like the world was crashing down around him in a matter of seconds.

‘It's true that creators aren't entitled to support, but you. You don't deserve anywhere near as much support as you're getting. There are so many creators out there that are much better than you and they don't get recognition. What you post is nothing special, so how about you stop and let people get support who actually deserve it, you're not worth the time of day.’

Nico stared at the comment until he could almost burn a hole through his laptop screen. He’d never had a hate comment before, and he didn’t know how to take it. He was being so dramatic, it was one hate comment, but that was enough to knock him for six. His heart hurt; his mind was fighting the thoughts racing around. He backed away from his laptop until he hit the wall and he slowly slumped down it, holding his crumpled paper copy of the lyrics tightly in his hand. Is this what people really thought of him?

Well, they were right. He always said that he never deserved the support he was given. Why should he have anyone reading his work when there are other creators that are exponentially better than him? He was a nobody who wrote songs, what was that really? It’s not as if he was a singer, or an artist… someone of worth. He shouldn’t stand in the way of others, what was so special about him? That commenter was just bold enough to say what everyone was clearly thinking behind their screens. Of course it wasn’t real. People can say what they want when no one will ever work out who they are. He laughed bitterly as the tears fell down his face. How could he have been so stupid? No one likes what he does, of course they wouldn’t. He slumped his head on his legs and held his breath until he couldn’t contain his sadness anymore.

The doorbell rang, and he sighed. Of course, Thomas was going to see him like this… that’s going to scare him off. He got up, hesitantly walking to front door and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. God, he was a mess. His eyes were red raw from crying, and his hair was a mess where he clawed at it. He let one person get to him, one anonymous person hiding behind a screen, and he hated himself for it. As the front door opened, Thomas was putting something in his pocket while holding a bag of Chinese food.

“Hey! I saw your song! Nico, it’s incredible- hell, you’re incredible!” Thomas beamed but when he looked up, his smile dropped, and worry clouded over his eyes in an instant. Nico must have looked a mess, he was expecting Thomas to drop the food and run, he wouldn’t blame him.

“Nico? What’s wrong? Hey, hey, hey. Come on, let’s get inside.” As soon as Thomas asked what was wrong, he broke again. The tears began to cascade, and Nico hid his face behind his hands, he felt a hand wrap around his waist and gently bring him back into the apartment. As he was guided to the sofa, he heard Thomas scurrying around the kitchen putting the bag down then coming in to sit next to Nico. He rubbed his hand gently up and down Nico’s back, whispering that everything was okay. The tears began to subside, and he leaned into Thomas’ touch who happily reciprocated. He felt a kiss on his forehead, and he wiped his face of the residual tears off his face.

“So… can you tell me what has got the literal embodiment of sunshine this upset?” Nico smiled slightly and Thomas played with his hair, feeling himself instantly relax at the touch.

“I don’t know if I can… but… just look at my laptop. It should be there.” Thomas looked a little worried before heading over to the desk and reading the words on the screen. Nico saw Thomas’ hands clench until his knuckles turned white and saw how his breathing became slightly labored. The only comforting thing he could think of was, at least he didn’t imagine the whole thing. Thomas marched back over to the sofa and took Nico’s head in his hands before kissing him gently and he pressed their foreheads together.

“Now, you, Nico Flores need to listen to me. You are amazing, you are fantastic and so damn talented that it makes my head spin. The fact that one person is saying something horrendous while hiding behind a screen, it doesn’t take anything away from you. I mean, look at all of these amazing people supporting you and sending you love for your latest song!” Thomas went to the laptop and brought it over to Nico, the comments underneath the hate were flooded with positivity and love, he beamed when he scrolled though, seeing people defend him made his heart feel full.

“Everyone else feels the same way I do about you. You have a phenomenal way with words, they way you write is captivating and you’ve inspired me more than you know. You’ve inspired countless others too. Your posts are special, you’re unique in your own way… let some jealous nobody stay just that… a nobody. Don’t let them hurt you, hun. You deserve all the love in the world, and I will give you all I can! If anything, I don’t deserve someone as incredible as you. You give so much kindness, so much happiness to others… you’ve gotta save some of that for yourself too.” Nico smiled and looked down at the floor, everything Thomas said was true. He could feel all of his sadness and pain melt away so he wrapped his arms around Thomas, hoping he could say thank you without words, otherwise he’d start crying for a different reason this time.

“Right, okay. Let’s reheat the food and we’re just going to watch trashy tv until I have to go home. Sound good?” He nodded eagerly as Thomas stood up holding his hand out for Nico to take, and they talked in the kitchen until the microwave made its call. As they sat together arm in arm until late into the evening laughing at a comedy show re-run, Nico thanked his lucky stars that Thomas crashed into his life. When Thomas had let him know that he was home safe, Nico fell asleep smiling and forgetting the events of the day.

His alarm blared out across his bedroom and Nico rubbed his bleary eyes, attempting to find his glasses to turn off his phone. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he realised it wasn’t an alarm, it was a series of text notifications. He stared as he noticed the time, it was rare that he slept in till 1pm but last night was the exception. Nico unlocked his phone and read the stream of texts from his favourite person.

‘Hey! Good morning, Sunshine! I hope you’re feeling better today <3’

‘You are amazing and fantastic; I can’t imagine my world without you in it <3’

‘Anywaaay, I’m rambling now haha. You have that effect on me ;) <3’

‘So, I know you're probably still resting, you had a rough day yesterday! But, when you wake up… go look at my YouTube channel okay? I’ve got a surprise for you <3’

Nico smiled as he read through the texts, and then he immediately went onto YouTube where a new video from Thomas immediately sat at the top of the page. He clicked on it and turned the volume all the way up, he heard music begin and Thomas was standing in the middle of his apartment singing. Nico stared in awe at how amazing his voice was, he’s heard him multiple times, but he was always blown away every time. It wasn’t until he started singing a particular part that Nico gasped and put a hand over his mouth.

‘If my arms were on a clock, I'd stop the time to be with you. Eternity I'd stop, just to be with you.’

These were his song lyrics from yesterday. He couldn’t believe how perfectly Thomas had captured the song, the emotions he was trying to express. It was a complicated symphony but sung with a perfect simplicity that made the words more powerful. He felt tears welling up in his eyes once again, he couldn’t believe that Thomas would do this for him and as the screen faded to black, he went to text Thomas but then he saw him pop back up on the screen.

“Hey guys! So, it’s been a little while since I’ve posted any music covers on here. I really, really hope you love this song as much as I do! The lyrics were written by my wonderful boyfriend, Nico. As soon as I read the lyrics, I knew I had to arrange and perform this song with the help of some brilliant friends who came together very last minute to help me out. I just… wanted to show the guy that I adore that he is amazing, and the words that he writes have the power the make the world a brighter place. So, Nico. This is all for you. Thank you to all my friends who came together to help, their links are in the description below. Thank you to Nico for inspiring me, his song blog is linked below. Thank you to all of you for watching, and until next time… Take it easy, guys, gals and non-binary pals. Peace out!”

Nico smiled proudly as he watched Thomas smile his trademark goofy smile as the video faded to black for the final time. He went back to the beginning and played the video again as he grabbed he phone and text Thomas.

‘Thank you for everything you did for me yesterday. The song and the video are incredible, you should share some of that talent Mr. Sanders ;) Seriously Thomas, I’m the luckiest man in the world to be with you <3’

He sent the text, and then the doorbell rang unexpectedly. Nico looked at the front door suspiciously, he wasn’t expecting anyone. He crept over and peered through the looking glass then opened it as fast as possible. Thomas was holding a large bouquet of flowers and a speaker. He smiled and kissed Thomas on the cheek before taking the flowers out of Thomas’ hands and smelling the delicate scent. Brightly coloured Roses, Chrysanthemums, Delphiniums, and Irises. They were simply perfect, just like the man in front of him.

“I needed to see you, and I thought I could give you a live performance of the song?” Thomas smiled holding the speaker up in air, Nico invited him in and quickly put the flowers into a vase he kept for ornamental purposes. They were truly beautiful, and he was impressed that Thomas remembered what his favourite flowers were after talking about it on the first date. When he turned around, music was almost swirling around them, and Thomas was standing in the middle of the room. He reached out for Nico’s hand, as their hands touched, Thomas pulled him in close and they slow danced while Thomas sang. As the song drew to a close, they came to a stop and this time, Nico pulled Thomas in for a kiss. When they parted, they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other.

“You’re my entire world now, Mr. Sanders.”

“And you are mine, Mr. Flores.”

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Here to Misbehave (Pt. 5 | S.R.)

Summary: Reader (accidentally) blows off a text from Spencer for another guy. Later, Spencer takes her for a second date.   A/N: By the way, when you get to the adorable dance scene, the two songs that inspired me most were “Stardust” by Lyambiko and “We Might as Well Dance” by Madeleine Peyroux (Try not to read into the lyrics, I dare you). Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW 18+) Content Warning: Unprotected sex, dirty talk, jealousy, degradation, penetrative sex Word Count: 10k

MASTERLIST | Series Masterlist

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I had never envisioned that my life would end up quite like this. That wasn't to say that it was disappointing or regrettable, although in that moment it felt like I had miscalculated a number of things. There was no other way to describe a Saturday night spent laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling of my friend's apartment as if I could manipulate myself into believing it was Spencer's.

It wasn't anyone's fault that it couldn't be his, instead. The stupid, gorgeous bastard wasn't ignoring me; he was just out of town for the weekend.

Truthfully, I should have been a little more considerate. It wasn't his fault he had to work. But I also couldn't help but be disappointed that he was always working. I hadn't seen him in almost two weeks and it was killing me. The last time I'd seen him was the morning after our first 'date,' and it was a brief enough interaction that I had already run out of ways to overthink it.

Spencer had gotten a restful night of sleep that night. Despite his little impromptu confession, he slept as though he'd never been more peaceful in his life. I had not. I'd had the pleasure of staying up for hours, playing his words through my head on loop and trying to figure out what the fuck had happened.

It didn't amount to anything though. The morning came, and he had long forgotten the words half mumbled through a sleepy daze. I'd told him that he had been mumbling in his sleep, and he asked me if he'd said anything embarrassing. I told him no. He hadn't pressed any further, simply stating that he must've been dreaming.

I almost thought it had been a challenge; a way to test if I'd gotten too close. But then I realized that I was probably just an idiot, and I was wanting it to mean more than it actually did.

So much for having run out of ways to overthink it.

Regardless, his aloofness had returned my heart to the broken, hurting mess it had been before he uttered the words that forever altered my universe.

That wasn't his fault, either. I was the one who'd set myself up for failure by ever imagining that we could be something more. I'd known he wasn't the most emotionally available suitor since the moment I met him. At least, not for me. I'd never actually seen him anyone else.

I didn't really want to think about that, though. I really didn't want to think about that.

"Hey, get your lazy ass up so I can sit down."

The order drew me from my reverie  — rather unpleasantly, might I add. Because when I turned to face my friend standing in front of me, I came face to face with his crotch.

"Dude, I don't want any of that in my face," I laughed to the unfortunately familiar sight. "Back up before I punch you in the dick."

Somewhat surprisingly, he obeyed. He took a step back and waited patiently for me to sit up and scoot over to give him room beside me on the couch. Completely unsuprisingly, however, he did not take advantage of any of the space available. He chose to sit close enough to touch me.

"Some women would do anything to have that privilege," he lied through his teeth.

"Who are these women? And how can I help them avoid this tragic fate?"

He smiled back, having already grown used to me rebuffing all of his advances years before. We had known each other for what felt like forever, but he still tried every chance he'd gotten. That moment was no exception, and it took him very little time to stretch his arm behind me on the couch. I leaned forward, glancing back at the arm that I would continue to avoid despite his best efforts.

I narrowed my eyes in a challenge when he did nothing to remedy the situation. He did not take the humble way out, so my only other option was to do the humbling for him.

"There are three whole couches in this room and you pick the seat directly next to me?"

"You're warm and it's 50 degrees in here," he joked while lifting his other hand to poke me on the nose.

I recoiled in disgust, grabbing the pillow beside me and hitting him in the face with it as hard as humanly possible.

"Then turn up the heat or grab a blanket, jackass," I grumbled, "I'm not giving you my precious body heat."

Once again, he conceded immediately. He held his hands in defeat and scooted just a few inches further away from me. I watched him for a second until he got far enough away, and then returned my attention to my phone, which I had been religiously checking for any news about the vastly more interesting man in my life.

"What are you looking at?"

"My friend. He's supposed to have landed a couple hours ago..."

Seeing that I had no new messages, though, I slumped over onto myself and rested my elbow on my knee. Continuing to ignore the boy trying to get my attention, I favored the one that was possibly ignoring me and endlessly scrolled through our previous conversations.

"Is that the cop? Your boyfriend?" he teased.

"He's not a cop," I corrected with a roll of the eyes.

Although not keen about the thought of the two of them meeting, I did wonder what kind of rant Spencer would've gone into to describe the different types of law enforcement agents. He would learn so much about government job descriptions. But that wasn't the part of the sentence that my friend had stressed, and I felt compelled to answer.

Didn't mean I had to be loud or excited about it, though.

"And he's not my boyfriend," I mumbled into my palm. I hated how pathetic it felt; how forlorn I could be over a man not giving me enough attention. He was still just a man.

A very cute, sweet, and drop-dead gorgeous one. But a man, nonetheless. Destined to be disappointing. During my daydreams and hopeful, lovesick thoughts, my friend had come to another, different conclusion about the type of man Spencer was.

"He carries a gun and can arrest people. He's a cop."

"Whatever," I said with a heavy sigh. Wasn't worth it to fight, so I admitted to my childish infatuation with an equally pitiful, "Yeah, it's Spencer. I was hoping he'd want to see me."

I turned the volume on my phone before finally setting it down, but continued to eye the screen until it went dark.

"It's not like you to chase after a dude," he so helpfully commented.

To his credit, he was right. It wasn't like me. But Spencer wasn't like other guys I'd met, and while it was true that Spencer was ten years older than me, I could tell that age wasn't the only thing setting him apart. It wasn't even necessarily something about him in particular, although he certainly was extraordinary.

It was more like... the way he looked at me. The way I never felt like anything even remotely close to lackluster. He looked at me like the stares shone through my eyes, and the blindness was worth witnessing the unfiltered eclipse.

"I'm not chasing him. We just like spending time with each other," I explained before sitting up straighter and placing a gentle hand to my chest in feigned pride. "I'm a very interesting person."

But then he responded with the last question I wanted to hear, or even think about potentially considering in that moment. The one that had been weighing on my mind no matter how hard I tried to suppress it.

"So... why isn't he your boyfriend, then?"

I hadn't wanted to hear it because I didn't have an answer. And no matter how hard I inspected my cuticles, they likewise produced no excuse worth saying.

The man to my right was twisting his body as he settled into the seat. He kept his chest open to me in some display of fragile masculinity that was very easy to ignore.

"Is he like, ashamed of you or something?" he suggested.

That was less easy to ignore.

"No..." I wanted it to sound more certain than it did. As it stood, it was downright pathetic. Especially compared to his much more confident reply of, "Then what's his excuse?"

I sighed again, that time pulling my legs up on the couch in my unending quest to find some semblance of comfort while being interrogated on the most irritating subject of all time.

"He doesn't need an excuse. We both agreed it's better to just be friends."

He moved closer to me again, and I didn't have the energy to tell him to stop. Not like he would have listened, anyway. Egotistical prick with absolutely nothing to substantiate his inflated sense of self.

"You deserve better than that, (y/n)."

While his words were soft in volume, everything else about him remained gruff and uninviting. Nothing at all like the way Spencer could shift and turn into something completely different. My friend could act like his feigned tenderness was meaningful, but I knew that he liked the thought of me more than who I actually was.

"Yeah, right. With who? You?" I droned, wishing that my words could actually be laced with venom. Maybe then he'd have abandoned this foolhardy quest to win my affections.

"I mean I'm not gonna turn you down if you're offering," he joked.

It was that lightness that was his main redeeming feature; the reason I could keep him around even when his fingers tapped against my opposite shoulder. I laughed at both the sensation and suggestion, refusing by lifting his arm off my shoulders before excusing myself from the couch altogether.

"Piss off. I'm running down to the basement. You want anything?"

"Just for you to come back quick," was his immediate, not-at-all charming reply.

"You're a fucking idiot," was mine.

It wasn't until I was already on my way back up after grabbing a blanket and a drink that I had actually managed to forget about my phone for at least a few minutes.

Then, the terror came. The worry that Spencer had called me, and I'd failed to answer. The possibility that he might've hit my number on a list and already moved on to the next. It had only been like five minutes but still. He talked so damn fast, he could've torn through 5 phone calls in that time.

A little faster, I made my way back to the living room, shouting from down the hall, "Hey, did I leave my phone up here?"

He didn't answer immediately, but then eventually slurred, "Uhh. Yep. Sure did."

When I rounded the corner, I found the gremlin going through my phone. As I already started to plan the new pass code now that he'd gone and figured it out, I ran over, half-tackling him on the couch as I screeched, "Give it back, you dick!"

It was no use. He held it just outside my reach, laughing at the way I scrambled over him to try and grab it.

"Not unless you promise not to check it until after the movie."

Sighing with resignation, I plopped down next to him, my arms crossed and eyes rolled as I convinced myself it was unlikely Spencer would text me within the next hour and a half if he hadn't already.

It was pretty late. Maybe he had already gone to bed and just forgotten to let me know he got home. Besides, I owed my friend as much for managing to get me to forget to check it for this long, no?

"Fine. I promise," I groaned.

I tried not to let the thought ruin my night. The next two hours were like they usually were. He kept trying to cuddle with me, and I kept pushing him away until I eventually didn't. I gave into the general familiarity with the guy I'd known for basically half of all my memories, stopping every few seconds to wonder if I should have felt guilty.

Then I felt guilty for having asked myself at all.

Once the credits began to roll, I held my hand out with zero hesitation. I (im)patiently for him to deposit my phone, which he did, to his credit. However, what I found struck me to my core. My hands immediately began to shake hard enough that the LED blurred in my vision.

"Uhhh, what the fuck is this?"

"What?"

I held up my phone, displaying a text message that had been sent from my phone a couple hours earlier. On the screen, clear as day, me and him from earlier in the day. A painfully domestic snapshot of the two of us running errands together.

The picture shown, though, was one that I swore I'd deleted from my phone. It was him with his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest while I laughed. It wasn't a bad picture, but the context was entirely absent. For example, the fact that I'd almost bruised his chest hitting him right after the photo was taken.

"Why did you send this picture?!" I yelled, desperately swiping at the time stamp. "Two hours ago?!"

He was much too quiet for what was happening. In my haste, I hadn't even notice the accompanying text above the picture, which read 'Sorry man, she's all mine tonight.' Spencer didn't reply.

"Why didn't you tell me that he texted me?!"

My frustration had peaked, and I stood up, pacing somewhat unproductively as I tried to collect my things.

"Because I knew you'd try to leave, and I haven't seen you in fucking ages," he whined, as if I was overreacting.

But I wasn't. This contrived bullshit was entirely his fault, and entirely fucking ridiculous.

"Are you fucking kidding me, dude?" I shouted, finally finding my bag and shoving my stuff inside of it angrily. I didn't even finish, with a few loose coins angrily clambering to the floor as the soundtrack to my farewell.

"Well, now I'm definitely leaving, so kiss my ass!"

Before I could actually leave, I held up my middle finger in the furthest thing from a joke.

"Wait, (y/n), it was a joke!" he called back but didn't try to follow me.

He'd known it wouldn't work. I was too mad.

"You're not fucking funny!"

I slammed the door to my car loud enough to wake the neighbors, but I couldn't care even a little bit. My hands were shaking so hard, that it was a struggle just to click my phone. But I did, fervently pressing Spencer's name until the stupid, traitorous phone could figure out what I wanted it to do.

It rang for 15 whole seconds before I grieved the reality that he wasn't going to pick up. I sighed, lowering my phone to hang up before he could ignore the call or I was given the choice to leave a voicemail. It had been my own fault, anyway.

But just before I hit the button, I heard a tired, crackly voice coming from the other side of the line.

"(Y/n)?"

Oh my god, he picked up.

Then, all at once, the words poured out of me.

"Spencer? I'm so sorry I didn't text you back! Please ignore my friend. He's a fucking idiot."

I could tell from the silence that Spencer was replaying them in his head to try to make sense of the frantic, slurred speech in his own sleepy state. Once he had gotten the gist of my panic, he started to laugh through a yawn.

"It's fine. You looked like you were having fun."

I couldn't tell if it was jealousy in his voice or something else. Either way, it felt terrible. My insecurities crept through my throat and came out with dramatic overcompensation.

"Yeah right. He held my phone hostage. I was waiting to hear from you and he got jealous or something."

There was an awkward silence on the other side of the phone, and so I continued with only a little tremor in my voice, "I'm glad to see that you got home alright."

Another few seconds of silence followed, but then it was the Spencer I was used to again.

"Yeah. It's less fun without you here, though."

That wasn't supposed to be as romantic as it seemed, I reminded myself. He was just flirting. Typical fuckboy nonsense, uttered to get a rise out of me one way or another. He didn't actually mean to imply that he'd already considered what it might be like for me to have joined him.

Right?

"I can still come if you want," I rushed, looking down at the clock in my car for the first time and grimacing at the revelation that the 'something else' in his tone had, in fact, been exhaustion.

"Although... I'm just now realizing its 2am and I definitely woke you up..."

"Typical," he joked, "you being out late, trying to make me jealous with age-appropriate boys."

My laugh bounced back at me from the walls of the car, and I covered my mouth once I remembered that I was still in a public area.

It was weird to me how whenever I talked to Spencer, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. I'd never felt that way with another person before. Those cheesy romcoms were all starting to make sense, and I hated how powerless that made me feel.

"I was not! Trust me, if I wanted to make you jealous, I could do much better," I humbly stated. It was only a little bit of a threat. "I just don't know why he did that. And of course, that picture, which I had deleted, by the way. He seriously had to get it from another folder. He just likes to torture me, I guess."

Spencer cleared his throat from the other side of the phone, readjusting before he clearly enunciated, "He likes you."

The statement wasn't shocking. Anyone who'd spent more than five minutes with the two of us knew that he probably liked me. I'd even considered exploring it at one point before smacking myself in the face and reminding myself of my standards.

But still, to have Spencer know that felt a little bit weird. After all, most 20-something boys would do anything to torture their friends. Even the girl ones. Especially the girl ones.

Then something else began to brew in my chest; a twisted sort of pleasure derived from the sharpness that had formed on Spencer's tongue. The jealousy creeping through the crackling static and wrapping its talons around my heart.

"... I don't know," I absently said.

He sensed the hesitancy in my voice, and asked back with a strange inflection, "Do you like him?"

I chewed on my bottom lip, closing my eyes as I dropped my head back against the headrest. I didn't want to answer that question honestly. I felt like nothing I said could be right. So, I just chose the closest thing to the truth.

"No, not really."

We were back in one of those awkward silences. The kind where we both wanted to say something, but nothing came out. I turned my car on when the stale, stagnant air became too suffocating. The sound alerted him to enough information for him to speak again.

"Are you heading home?"

I switched my phone to the other hand, trying to delay giving my answer by sounding busy. I didn't really have a reason, I just hadn't wanted to hang up yet.I wanted to stall him and selfishly keep him around just a little bit longer.

"Yeah, I guess."

Super smooth. I could still salvage it though.

"...Unless you've changed your mind and would like a personal space heater in bed with you."

Spencer's laughter would have been offensive if it wasn't so adorable.

"Yeah right, your feet are freezing. I don't even know how you still have toes."

That checked out, and also gave me an escape from the terrifying prospect of ending the call.

"I'll wear socks!" I offered with the utmost enthusiasm, "I actually own thigh highs, you know. If you're into that, Professor."

It had been a few weeks since our tryst, but I had hardly ever stopped thinking about it. Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, I'd traced the marks he'd left behind with an ungodly powerful nostalgia.

His laughter turned to frustrated groans as he mumbled, "Are you trying to torture me?"

Once our ruckus died back down, the silence was more serious than strange. I felt the urge to apologize again. I needed him to hear the sincerity behind what were so often empty words.

"I'm really sorry I missed your message, Spencer."

My voice was quiet, unsure, and scared. I didn't want to lose him, and I knew an extreme on either side of the emotional spectrum would let him slip away so easily.

It was exhausting being emotionally lukewarm, but some part of me wanted to believe that it would be worth it with him. That patience was all it would take to show him why he had nothing to be afraid of.

But where I showed mercy, he showed himself to lack it in any sense of the word.

"It's fine, (y/n). I'm not your boyfriend. If I really want the company, I can find it."

That wasn't why I was sorry, and what he'd said only made it worse. The ugly, resentful part of myself was convinced that was why he'd said it at all.

We both knew I didn't want him to find it with someone else. That was the entire reason I was sorry I missed it. If I missed his call, nothing was stopping him from making another one. I hadn't ever asked if there were other girls in his life, but I definitely didn't want to find out like that.

"I missed you the past couple weeks. I still do."

The genuineness in my voice scared me. I hated being vulnerable; especially when he was already so apprehensive about me. I wished I knew why he was. But at that moment, he was being his usual playful self, not willing to give me any hint of an answer in exchange for my candor.

No, just: "You're so good at whining."

I pouted like he would be able to see it.

"I just want some cuddles. Is that too much to ask?"

"Go ask your boyfriend, I'm sure he would be more than happy to oblige," he quipped.

"He's not as good at it as you are," I deflected, playing off the suddenly obvious jealousy in his tone. Before I could rub my quick wit in his face, however, Spencer raised a white flag that I'd never seen coming.

"Fine. I'll wait up."

That was when I realized that he had been more jealous than I'd thought, and I still had a startling amount of power to play with.

But I was still unable to comprehend it, and with a graceless gasp, I chirped, "Wait really? I can come over?"

An unsure laugh and an almost audible shrug later, he responded, "Sure, I figure it'll get me to bed faster somehow, as opposed to staying on this call."

I didn't hesitate to start to pull my car out of the spot, happily singing into the phone, "Okay! I'm on my way! Bye Spencer!"

"See you soon."

—————————————————

As I was old enough to be able to tell time, and aware enough to recognize that it was incredibly too late to be knocking on an apartment door, I tried to do so softly. I halfway succeeded, stifling the noise enough that he could still hear it, but his neighbors wouldn't. They would remain unaware of the girl bouncing on her toes outside of his door, squealing the second she heard shuffling feet on the other side.

Jesus Christ, I sound like a teenager, the more sensible side of me noted.

I might've felt shame, had he not opened the door in that very moment to reveal himself, with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and pajamas on that were big enough they his half his hands.

He was... in a word, adorable.

"Hey sleepyhead," I cooed.

Spencer remained silent, but offered his arm in a halfhearted invitation for a hug. The blanket hung like a wing that I very much wanted to wrap myself in, and he was all too happy to allow. I actually giggled as I lunged towards him. I wrapped both arms around him and breathed in the clean scent of laundry detergent and soap.

"I'm sleepy, too," I said with a relieved sigh. The air was quickly replaced with that which smelled of him. So, too, the silence filled with a soft chuckle as he pulled me close to him and rested his chin on the top of my head.

Like a man from a fairy tale, he started to sway, slowly turning us around until we were headed in the right direction. The right one, of course being the one that would lead to us falling in bed together again.

"Alright, little girl, you can come crawl into bed with me tonight."

The words were like music to my ears, and I felt like I was floating. I was glowing, my skin flushed with warmth like a wood fire on a cold Winter night, and my eyes fell half lidded from some mixture of tired and pleased.

"Thank you, sir," I slurred through a smile. It grew wider as he took my hands, prying me away from him to lead me back to his room with more purpose.

Once we finally padded over, I dropped my overnight bag on the floor and began to strip off my shirt. He eyed the bag on the floor with a feeling I could almost place.

"Were you planning on staying with him?"

I felt a pain through my chest as he asked, because I knew the answer. I had been, but only because I'd done it so many times before. Our mutual friend wasn't in the house, so I knew I could use his bed. But saying I was planning on staying there alone sounded even more suspicious.

"Yeah. I've stayed there before. Always in a different room. We've been friends a long time."

There was something about the way he looked at me that made my stomach flip in a delicious way. A feeling that could only be described as dangerous and exhilarating. But then it was gone, replaced by the apathy he usually tried to display. I continued to strip, nonetheless, slowly peeling my leggings down and stepping out of them. I could feel his eyes on me.

I twisted by body in the hope that the movement would distract him from the conversation I hadn't really wanted to have. Jealousy, while a fun tool for the consenting, had a tendency to grow old quickly. It was a beast that did not like to be controlled; especially when taken by surprise.

But he had no reason to be jealous. I had all but begged him to come over, and I was currently naked in his bedroom. I didn't even look up at him before sliding under the covers. I was too scared for what I might find, and opted for enjoying the lingering body heat and smell of Spencer on the sheet, instead.

"I don't want to know how good you are when you're trying," he warned.

I looked up at him with guilty eyes, recognizing this was his gentle way of telling me he was jealous. But he'd said it himself... He wasn't my boyfriend.

"Come here," I pleaded while running my arms along the empty space where he belonged. "I'll show you why you shouldn't be jealous."

Spencer licked his lips as he looked at my exposed chest, pulling off his pajamas and slinking under the covers with me. Facing each other, my hands quickly found his erection, pumping it softly as he immediately rewarded me with a soft moan.

"I missed this," I whispered, closing the gap between our faces.

He responded in kind, taking his time to lay a lazy kiss against my mouth while he groaned, "I missed your hands. Among other parts."

As he spoke, his hand was traveling down my side to my center. My breathing picked up as he got closer, but he diverted, running his fingers up and down my arms that continued to work his length. The soft whimper that escaped my mouth entertained him, and he brought his hand back down.

"Say please, (y/n)."

I couldn't talk though. I was biting down on my lip to stop myself from telling him I fucking hated him for teasing me. With big puppy dog eyes, I watched him while I chewed on my bottom lip.

"Stop biting on that lip or I'll do it for you. I don't care how cute you are."

His hand now ghosted over exactly where I wanted them, and he used the very tip of his finger to collect the wetness forming there. My hands stopped as he made contact, my grip tightening for a second.

"Say please."

He wanted me to beg for him to touch me, but I didn't want his hand. It was almost 3 AM and I was exhausted and needed him. All of him, immediately. Badly enough that

"Fuck me, sir," the words spilled out of my mouth. "Please, fuck me."

A content humming came from him as he brought a hand to my hair. But the pleased sound lulled me into a false sense of security, which was shattered seconds later when he pulled my head back to look him in the eyes.

From there, I could see that look in his eyes again. That dark, possessive stare that made me long for the shadows to consume me if it meant more time with him.

"I p-promise," I stuttered as one of his fingers teased at my folds.

He raised his eyebrows as he waited for me to finish my thought.

With a cruel, sadistic smile, I continued, "I promise I won't think of anyone else."

That playful characteristic snark that has originally driven him to me had returned, and he pretended to be disappointed. He liked it, though. He wouldn't admit it, but the way I read the secret, hidden thoughts in his mind like he could read one of his book clearly drove him insane.

He guided me by his hold on my hair, lifting me off the pillow and not taking a minute to consider the repercussions before growling in my ear, "Turn around."

I obeyed, happily pressing up against his crotch as I settled into my position as his little spoon. I noticed a distinct lack of a pause this time, and gears began to click together as I felt him rub the bare head of his cock in the slickness pooling around my thighs.

"I have some questions for you, little girl."

He was pissed.

"When was the last time you got tested?"

I could hardly think straight as I realized where this was going. I tried to gather my thoughts and enough control to stutter back, "L-last week. I-I haven't... haven't slept with anyone else. Not since you."

My answer earned me a tender kiss on the neck, but it wasn't enough. I was trying to still my hips from knocking back against him. I couldn't completely stop myself, though, and I knew it made him feel even more confident about his decision.

"Good. Me neither," he replied.

I sighed with relief, happy to at least answer that question. I'd barely had any time to recover, though, before he continued, "Is there any way you could get pregnant right now?"

I shook my head no. He stopped my head with one hand on my chin from behind.

"Use your words."

"No!" I half shouted, realizing I just sounded like a brat. "No, no I can't. I'm on birth control. I won't get pregnant. Promise. You can..."

My breath matched pace with my heart, and I swore I was already lightheaded. Still, I forced the last few words through the heavy panting to earn my next, far more enticing prize. The magic words he had been waiting for:

"You can do whatever you want to me."

When he released my hair, my head fell forward just for a second, because soon my entire back arched in response to the way he began to push inside of me.

"Good," was all he'd said.

With that, he fully sheathed himself inside of me, and I cried out as I felt the way he stretched me. His hand swiftly covered my mouth before he began to pound into me from behind. One of my hands tried to keep me in place on the bed, while the other flew up to his hand over my mouth, holding it without trying to remove it.

I was calling his name underneath him, and he responded by making shorter, deeper thrusts.

Through it all, he chuckled in my ear, "It's always funny how fast you stop acting like a brat after I put it in you."

My eyes rolled back at his words, breath shuddering against his hand. He slid all the way out of me, and then applied enough force to push me up in the bed.

"Have you ever had someone finish inside you before?" he asked too sweetly for the provocative words. He moved his hand from my mouth and dragged it to move the hair that had fallen in front of my face.

I went to shake my head but remembered his instruction. Instead, I cried, "N-no."

"Good," he responded again, and my toes curled at the pride he felt in claiming this body as his own. He took my hand in his, pulling it down to feel the small bump forming in my abdomen each time he slammed into me. The next time it appeared, he halted, holding me in position against him. "I'm going to fuck you so hard that the next time anyone even thinks about touching you, all they'll taste on you is me."

He pulled out slowly before pounding into me again. With more violence in his motions and venom on his tongue, he spat, "and if you want them you can explain to them how you begged for me to come inside your tight little cunt."

I was in a state of shock, unable to comprehend how he was capable of making such cruel, licentious words. Each one made my body shake, and he kept himself inside me longer with each motion to extend the feeling. I ached at the way he filled me, desperately clinging to my own stomach where I could feel him.

"Good luck thinking about anyone else while I run down your thighs," he said before punctuating it with a firm, unforgiving, "you fucking bitch."

With that, he finally moved his hand, but it was not a merciful action. His fingers rubbed in the mess of our bodies, then dragged the wetness back to my clit, pressing harder than he ever had before. My head was still swimming from his language, and I thankfully didn't have to use my words. He was very capable of figuring out my body language himself.

I could feel the way the heat coiled in my stomach, the tension building as his mouth ran along my neck. Once he attached himself to one spot, driving into me at a brutal pace, I felt the energy shift and begin to blossom. Feeling the way my muscles quivered around him, he stopped his kisses, groaning loudly in my ear.

"Fuck, little girl," he continued to moan, his thrusts faltering as I tried to coax his orgasm out of him. It seemed to be what he was waiting for. Unable to contain the shrill cry that tore from my chest as his arousal filled me, I tried to pull away from him. But I couldn't, his hands holding me down and his hips rocking as deep as they could possibly move inside of me.

Exhausted, I tried to move away from him once his movements stilled. However, in another surprising move he slid out just to slam back into me again.

I whimpered from the overstimulation, doubling forward as he gave a few more deep, rough thrusts before pulling out entirely.

I had no idea how, but Spencer immediately got out of bed. He left me a sweaty, desperate mess on his bed. Thankfully, he tossed me a towel to help me clean up so I wouldn't have to sleep in the puddle dripping slowly down my legs. Shaky but satisfied, I somehow managed to make it to the bathroom and clean up.

When I returned, he was still awake. He was silent, sitting up in the bed with his eyes closed and contemplative. As I shut the door, he finally noticed my presence. He turned to look at me with an awkward smile until he pat my spot on the bed.

"Come here, little girl."

A little too excited, I shuffled over with a bounce in my step. Not satisfied with simply lying next to him, I curled into his side, wrapping my arm around his waist and nuzzling my face to his chest. From there, I listened to the way his heartbeat seemed to slow down with my touch. How his muscles relaxed under me, like he had been anxiously awaiting my return the same way I had been waiting to return to him.

"You're not really a bitch," he mumbled in a quiet, sleepy voice.

I couldn't help but laugh, tilting my head up to glance at him from my position on his chest.

"I mean, I am a little bit. But I know what you mean."

He wrapped a tight arm around me, using his hand to run softly through my hair. Leaning down, he gave the top of my head a small peck. I smiled against his skin, loving the way it felt to be surrounded by him. To be safe and cared for despite all else.

"Thank you for coming here with me tonight," he said in a low volume, like the words might spook me. "You're a very special girl. I hope you know that."

I didn't know how to respond, so I stayed frozen in place. I waited to hear the rest of what he wanted to say. People have always said we're most honest at night. I wanted it to be true, to give more meaning to loaded words.

"I'm really glad I met you," was what he said.

I closed my eyes, breathing in the words that felt like a balm on my aching soul. Unable to come up with a response that wasn't terrifying, though, I sat up and crawled to him. It was my turn to return a tender kiss, this time to his lips. As we pulled apart, he still looked at me like the answers to the universe were written on my skin.

I went to kiss him again, but he stopped me with a hand on my face.

"Don't..." he instructed, breaking my heart with just one command.

But I saw the fear reflected in our eyes, the kind that was deeper than a simple rejection. It was not the fear that we might not love one another. It was the fear that we very well might one day.

Spencer said none of that, though. He left me to forever wonder if it was just me who felt it. Instead, he surrendered with a simpler, safer explanation.

"If you kiss me like that again, I won't be able to stop myself."

I didn't ask what he was stopping himself from doing. No matter how badly I wanted to. Instead, I ran the back of my fingers against his cheek and whispered in the space between us, "Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again."

My desired outcome came true, but not quite how I wanted. He didn't kiss me deep or passionately. He kissed me soft, like my lips were made of glass. He kissed me like he was protecting me from the terrors of his mind.

"Go to sleep, little girl," he instructed gently, coaxing me back to my position on his chest as we both sunk down to lay flat on the bed. "Picard can wait."

Laying there, next to what I was convinced was an actual human angel, I gave myself permission to drift off into sleep, hoping that my dreams could be half as good as reality.

That didn't happen.

I wasn't sure what time it was when I woke up, but it was still dark outside, so it couldn't have been too long after we'd fallen asleep. Spencer had turned away from me at some point. That wasn't strange or entirely surprising, but I noticed a strange sound from his side of the bed that made my hair stand on edge and my stomach churn.

It was... crying.

"Spencer?" I asked as quiet as I could. When he didn't respond, I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder in the hope that it would be an easier transition to the waking word.

But his body still jerked under my touch, and he sat up much too quickly before grabbing his face in both hands. It wasn't until then that he noticed, drawing his hands back slowly and inspecting the wetness he found on his fingertips.

"Hey, Spencer, are you okay?"

He didn't answer.

Suddenly extremely worried, I brought both of my hands to his arms and pulled him closer to me.

He still didn't answer.

"Were you having a nightmare?"

So many red flags were burning through my brain, and I didn't know what to do with the information in front of me. I just wanted to help him.

"I... I must have been. I'm sorry," he said when he finally spoke. He wiped at his tears like he could erase what I had already seen. Moving his hands away, careful to keep my touch as non-threatening as possible, I wiped his still falling tears away with my thumb.

"Why are you sorry, Spencer?"

"I... don't know."

It was an honest, but terrifying answer. A quickly completed checklist of a horror I was deeply familiar with. A reality that I wouldn't wish it on anyone in the world. Especially not him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he replied with a force so strong I thought the word was physically painful for him to say.

"Okay," I reassured him, "We don't have to."

He wasn't laying back down. He wasn't moving at all. It was like he was somewhere else entirely.

I moved closer to him, placing a hand on his back to gently rub circles and another on his lap. I offered the only thing I could think to help him in that moment.

"Do you want me to hold you?"

His eyes were fixated on my hand on his lap, his breathing slowly regulating the longer we sat like this.

Still, he halfway refused, "It's okay."

Raising my hand again, I ran it through his hair before guiding him to look at me with a tentative smile.

"You're not a burden, Spencer. I want to."

The tears were falling again, albeit slower and with his mouth curved ever so slightly. I tried to give him the calmest reassurance I could. A soft glow in my eyes that burned with the affection and comfort I desperately  wanted to provide.

"Come here, love," I said as I motioned to me.

Spencer dutifully followed. Soon his head was on my chest, my hand curling his hair around my fingers. He hugged my waist like I was the only thing keeping him here.

And I laid there with him, trying not to think about the way his tears wet my skin. Hoping that, for now, it would be enough for him to get some sleep.

A mop of curly brown hair was the first thing I saw when I woke up to the shine of the sun through the curtains. I smiled, but only until I remembered why he was on my chest.

It was obvious that he had barely slept, his muscles continuing to persistently twitch in their paranoid state. When I went to pet his head again, he stirred under me, pulling himself closer to me the same way he had before.

I didn't want to think about what had happened, but I knew I had to. Normal people don't wake up crying from a nightmare, and they certainly don't get painfully defensive when it happens.

I hadn't known practically anything about his life before. What he had been through, or whether he'd told anyone at all. I hadn't even known if he'd anyone to tell.

I was painfully reminded that he was not the superhero I made him out to be in my head. He was just a man, trying his hardest to do more good in the world than all the evil combined. That was an impossible task, though. He was doomed to fail.

His ears must have been burning, because the longer I thought about it, the more he woke up. Eventually he was entirely alert, sitting up and removing himself from the position we'd assumed for the past several hours.

I was surprised to remember what it felt like to be able to breathe without the weight of him on top of me. I was even more surprised to feel my chest felt heavier in his absence.

"Good morning," I mumbled, watching as he effortlessly got out of bed and began to get ready.

He seemed embarrassed, but he really shouldn't have been.

"Did you get any sleep?"I asked.

Spencer ran his hands through his hair before he turned back to me, a smile on his face like nothing was wrong.

"No," he sighed, "This brat woke me up at 2 AM and insisted I sleep with her."

It was nice to know he was still capable of joking but concerning to see that he was so good at compartmentalizing. I laughed along with him, nonetheless, sliding out of the bed to join him in getting dressed.

"What a bitch," I said with a smirk.

As hard as it was to pretend like the night before hadn't happened, I knew that he wasn't ready to talk about it. Heaven knew it would have been much worse to burn the bridge then. At least if I built the trust now, he might be willing to talk about it later.

"You know, I wasn't actually going to tell you to come over last night," Spencer announced.

The 360 of the conversation took me by surprise, and I blinked rapidly to try and reorient myself.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I mean, I'm glad you did. But I was actually going to ask you if you're free tonight."

Spencer was nothing if not an emotional rollercoaster demanding passengers before 10AM. Ready to roll bright and fuckin' early.

"Yeah, I am. If you're still wondering," I answered in place of the multitude of questions I hadn't been ready to ask yet. Questions like, why was he wondering? Why did he need to schedule this? Was this another 'not-a-date' date?

"I wanted to take you somewhere," he mentioned casually, finally fully dressed while I still struggled to put on my clothes.

"Where?"

"It's a surprise," he said with raised eyebrows, like he was so very proud of himself.

I'd let him have that one, but only because he was so damn cute.

"Fine. That means I have to go home to get cleaned up first, then."

He seemed only a little disappointed by that, but overall acquiesced. I was a little sad about it, too, but remained confident in the old adage that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Besides, I wanted to look cute for my surprise.

We hadn't talked much before I left. I could tell he was still struggling with coming to terms with what he'd accidentally revealed to me in the middle of the night.

Honestly, it was a good thing I left. The desire to talk about it was overwhelming, and some things are better left unsaid...

For now, I promised myself. Just for now.

—————————————————

Spencer came to pick me up without a hitch. When I climbed into his car, I fully expected him to not tell me where we were going. I was right; he didn't. Of course, after about 30 minutes I recognized the route we were going. When I'd graciously pointed it out to him with increasingly less subtle suggestions, he still refused to give me a single hint.

That was, until we pulled into Observatory parking lot.

"I've never been here before!" I squeaked. My excitement had been obvious enough with the embarrassing crack, and Spencer's interest in my enthusiasm only grew.

He was looking at me with that soft, slightly saccharine smile.

"I figured. You aren't nerdy enough to go by yourself," he chuckled. The genuineness behind the sound made the already excited butterflies in my stomach begin to swarm.

"Hey, I can be cultured too, you know," I still corrected with the worst posh accent you've ever heard.

With a teasing smile on his face, the stupid man chose to look away rather than to admit his honest reaction to the statement.

Asshole, I thought, only to be proven wrong seconds later.  Forever a gentleman, Spencer joined me on my side of the car and took utmost care and attention to help me out from my seat.

It felt strange, to adorn his arm like something beautiful as we gazed at the stars together. I tried not to think about it, but wondered just how far he was willing to risk being seen with me in an undoubtedly romantic setting.

"Isn't this place usually closed to the public? I know they have limited general admission days," I asked, despite already knowing the answer. I just wanted to see if my hunch was correct.

"Yeah, I might have called in a favor or two."

Fuck, was my first thought. The next twelve thoughts, however, were all reiterations of 'Don't get your hopes up.'

My grip on his arm tightened, but he didn't seem to mind. I'd guessed that his nonchalance was entirely due to the private nature of the excursion, but I wasn't going to ask, and I certainly wouldn't complain. I was happy enough that he'd brought me, even if he wasn't ready to admit why. I could be patient. Sometimes.

Once inside, Spencer knew exactly where to go. I watched in awe at how many people knew who he was, and how much they looked up to him. While I had also always been impressed by him, it'd become easy to forget just how impressive he was when all the time we'd spent together was so far away from the rest of the world.

But Spencer's quiet humility certainly wasn't an issue that night. He spent nearly two hours walking me through what ended up being essentially all the stars in the sky. Much like the museum, it consisted of me adoring both the content of his words and the man himself.

He told me the story of the vain Queen Cassiopeia and her doting husband Cepheus, still holding each other in the stars millennia later. He spoke enthusiastically and with no sense of pacing. Half the time my eyes left the telescope, turning instead to marvel at the way he moved his hands and fidgeted with his hair as his voice tumbled out of him like it couldn't be contained.

It was just the two of us in the room when he finished, the dim lights and quiet ambiance catching up with me as I stared at him with all the reverence in the universe above us. He eventually finished his thoughts on Perseus and Andromeda, and I could tell by the look on his face that their love story meant something to him.

"You're quite the romantic, Dr. Reid."

He seemed surprised by the sentiment, like it was something he'd never heard before, and now he wasn't quite sure what to do with it. So, he simply laughed awkwardly and moved closer to peer into the telescope.

Whether it was because he felt a stronger connection to the extraterrestrial, or because he simply didn't want me to see that he was blushing, I didn't mind either way. A few less seconds under the scrutiny of his gaze would do my heart well.

"Not sure many people would use that word," he said under his breath when he worked up the courage to speak.

"Well, I did," I replied much more confidently.

He was smiling but trying to hide it the same as the pink hue to his cheeks.

"You said you were 14 when you went to college, right?" I said with narrow eyes, trying to read him from under the large machine.

"Yeah," he responded with an equal dose of caution, "... why?"

"Probably didn't go to prom then, huh?"

His answer was obvious from the way his entire body jumped. Knocking his head on the telescope as he rushed to give an answer, all his mouth would produced was a long, dumb, "Uhhh."

I knew he was about to try to run away. Before he could, I stopped him. With both hands on his arm, I kept him close. Eventually, his muscles gave in and accepted my embrace.

"Come on; dance with me," I begged.

He looked around the room for an excuse. There was no one there, just the two of us on arguably the most heartwarming date I've ever been on in my life.

"There's no music," he scrambled, eventually admitting, "aaand I can't dance."

Ignoring the pitter-pattering of a childish, lovesick heart, I laughed.

"I can teach you, Dr. Reid."

We both knew he wasn't getting out of this one. As I hopped down from the stool, I revealed my secret weapon from my pocket. I pulled up a playlist that I knew would suit him and the setting, and I held out my hand in an invitation that couldn't be refused.

"I have all the world of music at my fingertips. Now I just need you. "

Spencer groaned, but behind it all I saw an undeniable happiness. When he put his hand in mine, it too felt like warmth and safety. I took it with an even brighter grin, immediately bringing him closer to sway slowly to the music coming from my phone now seated on the stool.

The acoustics of the room let the music flow through, and within moments we had fallen into a comfortable rhythm. My cheek rested against his chest and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You lied to me, Dr. Reid. You definitely know how to dance."

"Okay, but does it really count if you've only ever done it with your mom?" he asked.

I threw my head back as I laughed, and he joined me. The two of us shamelessly filled the large room with a warmth not entirely unlike a far away star.

"Don't laugh at me!" he pouted, but I think he actually enjoyed the sound.

"I'm sorry," I whined, "you're just so fucking cute I don't know how to handle it."

Finally able to stifle the joyous sounds, I looked up at him with even more fascination than I'd showed the stars. I'm not sure what I had expected, but it wasn't what I'd found. Because Spencer's eyes were like mirrors facing the sun; reflecting the passions I spewed so carelessly right back at me.

"There are over a million words in the English language, and I still can't think of a single combination to explain how I feel about you."

Just like that, he'd stolen my breath and my sense. My smile fell into a look of smitten shock, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't convince my heart to fall back into its rhythm.

"I-I'm surprised you don't know the exact number," I said with an awkward chuckle.

"Well, some estimate that it's 1,025,109, but new words are created constantly, and it would depend on what actually counts as a new word. Not to mention the different dialects, words that have fallen out of common use, or words that may be used for entirely different purposes despite being the same."

I raised my eyebrows, not at all surprised that he had an answer, but excited to hear it, nonetheless.

"But it doesn't matter," he whispered, impervious to just how much he was breaking my heart. "Because no matter the number, I know it won't be enough."

My eyes lit up like the stars we had just spent hours staring at, and I wondered if he could tell. He must have. Because his hand on my hip pulled me closer, and our hands intertwined as our pace slowed to a stop. Our breath was unsteady as he came closer to me, pausing just before our lips touched.

We shared the oxygen between us, daring the other to do what we both know we shouldn't.

So I did, leaning up to kiss him as my hand slid up his arm and around his neck. His hesitation melted into the embrace, our tongues gently sharing space in an entirely new way.

I thought to the millions of stars in the sky, realizing that I shared Spencer's skepticism of an unknown number. Because no matter how many stars there were, I knew there would never be enough to outshine that moment between the two of us.

It was not a hurried or excited kiss. It was an amorous, amazing promise of a kiss. It was the kind of kiss that they wrote about in Corinthians. It was patient and kind. It was not proud nor self-seeking. Spencer's free hand held my face against his; the way they wrote that love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.

Did he feel the way he was kissing me? Because I had.

I felt it like a storm, the breeze blowing the air from my lungs and breaking down the walls around me. I held onto him and this moment, scared of what this meant for us. How could I pretend like we were just friends when I shook for days at his touch?

That was why I was the one to end the kiss, looking down away from him as I did. A soft, defeated chuckle as I took a deep breath. When our eyes met again, I lowered my arms to his chest, listening to the soft tunes still floating through the room.

"We should go home now," I whispered.

He was reading my reactions; I could feel it. And in doing so, he had lowered his own walls too far. I could see them behind his eyes.

My voice shook as I continued, "... before you do something else to try and make me fall in love with you."

Spencer didn't look scared as he replied with a cheeky little grin, "Why, is it working?"

I almost passed out at the way his eyes softened at my goofy smile.

"I'm kidding," he immediately followed.

I rolled my eyes at the absolute bullshit of a lie. I tried to play it off like it was nothing, but my heart felt like it would fall out of my chest. I tried not to think about it too hard as we made our way back to the car.

As he helped me in, I realized that we were really going to continue acting like none of that just happened. I tried to think of how that kiss we shared could be written off, but I couldn't. That was not the kind of kiss between friends. It was not the kind of kiss between strangers.

It was a kiss of the kind we both implicitly promised not to talk about.

Once the trip home had begun, I gathered the courage to tread lightly.

"So, what was the fantasy for tonight?" I innocently asked.

A little confused, he glanced over at me, careful not to take his eyes off the road.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've found each time we're together there's some sexual component," I chuckled. "This is pretty far from home, and you seemed very into it. I was just wondering what inspired this trip."

I was trying to avoid obviously ogling his reactions by shifting my eyes from him every few seconds. I had leaned against the door, surprised by just how tired I really was. He was doing that thing where he weighed his words again.

Eventually, he shrugged. That softness returning to his features from before, he began, "To be honest, (y/n)..."

Please, don't break my heart, I begged to that beautiful man.

Actually turning his head entirely to me, he spoke through a delicate smile, "I just wanted to look at the stars with you."

Goddammit.

The stars returned to my eyes, and I could see them reflected in his. My heart sped up to prepare for the panic as I realized that it was definitely too late for us. Because his efforts were working. They had been working all along, and I never tried to stop them.

As I drifted off to sleep in the comfortable silence of our company, I couldn't ignore the obvious:

I think I'm in love with Spencer Reid and I think he's starting to love me, too.

But we couldn't just love each other in isolation, and I wasn't sure he was ready to make that leap with me. In fact, I knew he wasn't. I still knew basically nothing about him, and he knew virtually nothing about me. How could it be then, that our souls felt so at home with each other?

Which would hurt more? Finding out he didn't love me, or that he did... and just wishes he didn't?

—————————————————

| Part 6 |

[bandsanitizer]

this band is back (reggie’s jam): headcanon + mini fic

so luke says “I know something that will cheer you up” right before he plays the beginning to this band is back which implies there’s something familiar to that exact scenario. we also have luke and alex exchanging looks before alex says “c’mon reginald” and begins drumming. then we have reggie who is hesitant for a moment before joining in with lyrics.

given that luke is the primary lyricist out of the three of them and how quickly all three pick up to that particular song—I headcanon that this is a song they’ve done before to cheer reggie up for a variety of reasons but most definitely originally from the other band members getting into an argument.

if they were at the point of playing the Orpheum in 1995, I can imagine they’ve been a band for a while. friendship for that long, tied with four people passionate about the music their creating, can cause some frustration and internal conflict. we see a little bit of that in some luke and alex interactions plus the possibility of them having dated previously so it’s pretty guaranteed they at least had 1 fight that was “oh no is the band breaking up?”

and given reggie’s parents, dealing with the band fighting would’ve been difficult. yet with reggie’s heart I do feel like he would’ve tried to help/mediate. given luke and alex come across as very much “I am independent! don’t baby me! I got this!” sort of people when they get more emotional/upset, they probably ignored reggie/pushed him away. this would parallel a sense of helplessness that he likely would’ve experienced when his parents fought. like things just falling apart in front of him and he can’t help save any of it.

which in my headcanon goes back to the “can you hear me?” line. after the fight reggie is quite upset and shows he is by giving the band a bit of a cold shoulder. once luke and alex realize what exactly the problem is—coming to a resolution to whatever they were fighting about in the first place and with a bit of intervention from bobby—they try to think up a way to make it up to reggie.

luke stumbles upon a random sheet of reggie’s handwriting. while he absolutely refuses to do country the song is definitely not that. a little different from the usual but luke does have a habit of pushing his own ideas and lyrics first. thus he quickly comes up with the guitar for the apparently titled “this band is back”. then luke approaches alex and bobby about the plan, alex comes up with his little body percussion part, bobby adds some rhythm guitar, and then they surprise reggie with it one day.

the sun is setting and reggie is just being sad by himself on the beach—not really comfortable going home and not really sure how he feels about the band. is it too much for him to ask his families stay together? shouldn’t they be able to work things out if they love each other? they love each other, right? reggie thinks so and he thinks if they just listened to each other things would be okay but who’s listening to him?

and then a guitar starts playing out of nowhere and he sees luke, alex, and bobby approaching. reggie debates between running or staying—he was here first so that’s that—and tries not to look at his bandmates. ex-bandmates? seems like they could be on their way.

luke sings, “reggie,” in a silly voice and stands right in front of the bassist. “we’re really sorry but we’ve made up. we’re never going to let some stupid fight break up this band or our friendship.”

alex nods in agreement, “people fight sometimes and it sucks and we’re sorry we pushed you away, but you matter to us and this family we have matters to us.”

bobby sits next to reggie and throws an arm around him, “plus you’ll always have me if those two are too busy being dramatic.”

the other two grumble before offering puppy-dog eyes and a pout towards reggie and reggie’s crying a little now but he smiles and laughs a bit, “sometimes it’s like you’re all I’ve got.”

“then good thing you can get rid of us” luke nudges him slightly with his leg and gets back to strumming his guitar and sharing a look with alex who grins and begins drumming and says “c’mon reginald”

but reggie??? is confused??? he shoots bobby a glance, who rolls his eyes and strums along on his own guitar.

“can you, can you hear me?” luke begins singing.

reggie’s jaw drops, “that’s my song!”

“you left it in the studio so it’s actually now band property,” alex grins.

“still! you wrote parts to my song! you never do that—“ reggie looks wide-eyed at luke who just shrugs.

“probably because it wasn’t country,” bobby laughs.

“wow,” reggie is still awestruck. luke and alex exchange another look before alex tries again, “c’mon reginald.”

“huh? oh. oh!” reggie catches on after bobby tilts his chin in his direction. grin growing, the bassist sings, “can you can you hear me?” but in a definitely softer than usual voice.

“loud and clear,” alex rolls his eyes which makes reggie stick out his tongue and stand up to sing the line again.

they play through the song with ad libs and improv’d lyrics sprinkled in and whatever chaotic movement luke and reggie consider dancing. they end up standing at closer to the shoreline and it’s awfully quiet between the the music stopping and their laughter settling down.

“you know you’ve got us, right, reg?” alex questions softly and reggie nods because he does know that but he’s also got parents and if loving reggie isn’t enough to keep them together, what’s more could it be to the band.

which are thoughts he might’ve voiced because his three bandmates quickly pull him into a hug.

“we found each other,” luke whispers and almost like a secret or a promise or a wish, “there’s no family stronger than that.”

[bestiesenpai]

Gojo lyric challenge

I found this cute lil challenge on Pinterest! A picker wheel chose Gojo, I excluded repeating lines or else I would have gone mad, and the song I chose was medicine by shawn wasabi :)

“I’m so- so sick!” Sniffling like a toddler with a wicked cold on a Friday night wasn’t what you had in mind when you imagined how your weekend would go. Wrapped tightly in a blanket, you shivered on your couch as sweat began to form on your brow.

“How bad is it, (Y/N)?” Satoru asked over the phone, running a worried hand through his hair. You sounded awful, much worse than when he talked to you the day before. Your voice was shoddy and he could hear you breathing through your mouth.

“I’m cold sweating and I love it.” Rolling your eyes, you crumpled into the couch cushions with a groan. “One moment I’m hotter than ever, the next I’m colder than ice! I feel high, not sober.” Deflating even more, just being awake was a struggle for you right now.

“Want me to come over and bring you medicine?” His heart ached for you, and even though he was at the school it was the weekend, surely he could disappear for a few days with no issue?

“No, I don’t want you catching this.” Throwing the blanket over your eyes, you fought back the urge to sneeze. Satoru had begun speaking again but you were too busy scrunching up your nose to listen, head pounding from the effort.

“(Y/N), babe? You listeni-”

“Achoo!” Fumbling with your phone, the force of your sneeze - and the two that came after the first - was enough to push you further into the couch and fumble your phone, effectively hanging up on Satoru and dropping it between the couch cushions.

Ripping the blanket off your face, you blindly grabbed the box of tissues you left near you. There was snot pouring out of your nose, making your face irritated from all the rubbing you were doing.

Too numb to do anything else, you grabbed your phone and trudged to the bedroom, shivering with every pass of air against your face. Once in the dark room, the dull headache you had subsided slightly and you collapsed under the covers after taking a shot of cold medicine.

Tossing and turning in the night, your sickness felt like a fever dream that would never be over. With the medicine it was easy to fall asleep, but through the course of the night you woke up in a feverish fog, not fully conscious but enough to toss the blankets off your sweat covered body and then grab them again.

Waking up in the morning was a struggle, sleep still having a tight grip on you as your body tried to fight the illness. Your blankets were up to your chin, but there was sweat pooling in the ditches of your body.

Just as you were about to throw the blankets off your body and cool off, your phone began to ring, it’s incessant vibrating making the mattress shake.

“H-hello?” Fishing through your blankets, you grabbed it on the last ring.

“(Y/N)! Baby, how are you? I tried to call you back last night but you didn’t answer!” Satoru’s slightly scared voice spewed out over the phone. Taking a few deep breaths, you finally freed your body from the blankets.

“I’m wide awake in bed with my clothes on the floor.” You grumbled, looking to your side to see every article of clothing you went to sleep with in a pile. Satoru chuckled at your answer, relieved that you had survived the night without him.

“Let me come over today, please? I’ll bring some medicine and make some soup for you?”

“I don’t have anything to make soup.” Shivering as all the sweat evaporated away, you burrowed under the blankets again.

“I’ll go to the store.” Satoru answered immediately. There was a heavy pause as you thought over his answer, brain sluggish on forming words. “C’mon (Y/N), don’t leave me hanging. At least gimme a no.”

“I’m thinking.” You said with a whine, making Satoru laugh again.

“You really know how to test my patience.”

“If you come over you have to wear a mask, I don’t want you to get sick.” Now it was Satoru’s turn to whine. You could almost imagine him stamping his feet on the ground like a child and pouting.

“Fine, I’ll wear a mask. Now what kind of soup do you want, I’ll go to the store before I stop by.”

“Surprise me.” Ending the call with a curt grunt, you relaxed back into bed. There was no energy in your body, not even enough to grab the medicine off the bedside table or get a glass of water for your parched throat.

Falling back into a restless slumber, you slept through Satoru calling you once he was at the store and when he was outside your apartment. Luckily for him, he had a key to your place and was able to let himself in, tiptoeing quietly through your house.

“(Y/N)?” He called out for you, taking off his mask once he saw you weren’t in the lounge room or the kitchen. “Are you sleeping?” Walking to your bedroom, he grinned when he saw you passed out and drooling on your pillow.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Satoru fixed your blankets and moved your body into a more optimal sleeping position, one where your neck wasn’t being strained in a weird way and your head was elevated to help you breathe.

“Satoru?” All your twisting and turning had left you tongue tied, mouth feeling incredibly dry as you said his name.

“Hey sleepyhead.” Leaning a little closer to you, he grinned widely at your confused face, his eyes searching you from behind the glasses he had on.

“P-put your mask on, dummy.” Fumbling to push him away, you grabbed the mask that rested on his chin and pulled it over his face. “You’ll get sick.”

“(Y/N), I already am sick.” Fixing the mask on his face, Satoru laughed. “You got me feeling lovesick.”

“Lovesick?” Rolling your eyes at the cheesy line, you couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face.

“Mhmm, and ooh baby do I love it!” Gripping his heart dramatically, Satoru delighted in the fact he got you to laugh. Even behind his mask you could tell he was smiling like a fool as he looked at you.

“So what did-” Your question was cut off by a gross, wet cough. There was sticky phlegm coating the back of your throat, and the force of your actions had snot running down your nose a little as well.

“Here, here.” Grabbing you a few tissues, Satoru sprang up from the bed. “I’m going to make you some tea.” Nodding as he left the room, you coughed into the tissues and blew your nose loudly.

With a spinning head and wobbly legs, you pulled yourself from bed and threw the tissues away, walking blindly to the bathroom to take care of the needs that you’d been ignoring in favor of sleeping.

“What’re you doing out of bed?” Standing at your empty bedside with his arms crossed, Satoru tapped his foot impatiently as you reentered the room.

“Pee.” You said with a sniffle and Satoru immediately dropped his arms, pulling back the covers to help you lay back down.

“I bought some really strong herbal tea from the store, an old lady told me it works really well for sickness.” Picking up the mug he left on the bedside table, Satoru blew away the steam billowing from the top.

“It smells horrible.” Even with your nose blocked you could smell how strong the tea was and your lip curled in disgust.

“I know, but it’ll make you feel better.”

“I don’t want it, Toru.” Your lip formed a heavy pout and you turned away from him, turning your back on the tea that you could smell even with your face pressed into a pillow.

“Just have a little bit, I promise you’ll feel better!” Tugging on your shoulder, Satoru eventually wore you down enough to make you turn over. With watery eyes and a soft glare you took the mug and took a drink of the tea.

“Oh I love how it tastes!” Nearly gagging on the strong taste, you swallowed down a big gulp to appease Satoru. Falling back down into bed, you rubbed a hand down your face. “Happy now?”

“Very. I’ll go start on the soup.”

“Did you get a recipe from that old lady?”

“No, the internet.” Flicking your arm, he left the room. You could hear him digging through a few shopping bags and banging pots and pans in the kitchen. The longer the tea sat in your stomach, the more it warmed you up and soothed your throat. Taking another sip, you slowly got up from bed.

“Hey, what’re you doing up?” Satoru peeked at you from the kitchen, his sharp blue eyes watching you trudge to the couch with a blanket wrapped around you.

“I’m bored just laying in bed sick.” Propping yourself up on cushions, you sank into the couch with a labored sigh. “So why not be sick out here?” Satoru chuckled, mumbling an agreement before returning to the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later, the soup was done. It was a simple recipe, one that Satoru didn’t need to fuss over too much in terms of prep. Carrying another steaming cup of tea in his other hand, he sat next to you on the couch.

“Here’s the soup, and more tea.” Sitting up slightly, you attempted to take the bowl from him. “Are you sure you’re feeling well enough to feed yourself?”

“Yes.” Right as you said it, a sneeze pushed your head back, leaving your temples throbbing.

“Mmm, I’ll help.”

“Whatever.” Sitting up more so he could feed you, you tried not to look at Satoru’s cheesy grin as you ate.

“Ya know, I don’t know if I’m supposed to like it this much, you being sick and all.” He cooed, setting the bowl down to give you some tea.

“If it was up to you, I’d never be getting better.” Taking a sip from the tea, it burned your tongue and made you wince. “I want more, more of the soup.”

“Of course, my love.” Bowing his head, Satoru picked up the bowl again. “Now here comes the airplane!”

Once all the tea and soup was gone, you curled into the side of the couch. Wrapped up tightly in blankets, you weren’t really paying attention to what was on the television. There were slow or sudden conversations that you couldn’t follow, words being spoken that went right over your head.

“How could you sleep with both my father and brother?!” The soap opera character on screen shouted angrily, getting ready to throw a drink at another.

“Toru, what am I watching?” Lifting up your heavy head, you looked to the other side of the couch, where the man in question was watching the show intently.

“Hell if I know but it’s pretty interesting.” He answered with a shrug, taking a glance at you. “Hey, why’re you so far away?”

“Because I’m sick.”

“I’m lonely.” He pouted behind the mask you insisted he keep on. “I want to hug you, you’re not feeling well.”

“Don’t touch me!” You shouted to the best of your ability with a painfully scratchy throat, but it was too late. Satoru was already leaning over to your side of the couch, encroaching on your space and manhandling you to the middle to lay on him.

“It’s always worth the wait, each time we touch.” Snuggling into your blanket clad body, Satoru let out a hum.

“Satoru Gojo, let go of me!” Attempting to wiggle out of his embrace was impossible, he had too tight a hold and your body wasn’t exactly at its strongest.

Your struggling made the blanket you’d wrapped around your head fall off, exposing your face and head to the cold air. Seeing the opportunity present itself, Satoru leaned down and kissed your forehead.

“Satoru! Why’d you kiss me you’re gonna get sick!” You watched in horror as he threw his mask onto the coffee table.

“You should know by now babe, all the rules are always bending, but only for us.” With a smug grin, he gave you another kiss before you could dodge him.

“The principal will be mad if you get sick because of me.”

“Eh, let ‘im. Who cares?” Leaning back, Satoru took you with him, moving more of you into his lap. “I’ll kiss you every day and every night, no matter the circumstance.”

“You’re so annoying.” Mumbling under your breath, you cozied up into his embrace more, no longer having the energy to fight it. Rubbing a hand up and down the full length of your back, Satoru let out a hum. It was quiet between you two for a few minutes, until a tickle in the back of your throat forced your body to convulse in a strong cough.

“Oh baby.” Satoru frowned slightly, giving you a few hard pats on the back. “Have a tissue.” He stuffed a couple in your hand, watching behind his glasses with concern in his eyes. “Hey, how often should you have medicine? I don’t think you’ve had any today.”

“Gi-ve me m-medicine twice a day. That’s what the label s-said.” You answered between coughs, fighting to catch your breath.

“Okay, one sec.” Shifting you off his lap, Satoru dashed to your bedroom to grab the bottle of medicine. When he came back, your coughing had subsided, but you were mentally drained from the ordeal.

“You’re too good to me, Toru, I’ve taken up your whole day being sick.” Dabbing at your watery eyes, you noticed the distinct lack of direct sunlight coming into the room. The sun was setting behind the buildings surrounding you, casting long shadows into your home.

“(Y/N), I don’t care. I won’t leave until you get better, I’ll stay forever if you let me.”

“Forever’s a long time.” You grinned, taking the tiny cup full of medicine that he poured for you and drinking it quickly.

“You make time feel never ending.” Satoru replied, getting comfortable on the couch with you again and cuddling you in his lap.

“You’re so cheesy.” Giggling at the line, you wrapped him in a hug. “Don’t be mad at me if I keep you up at night with my coughing.”

“Keep me up, I don’t mind.” Giving you a kiss on the cheek, Satoru hugged you back even tighter. “Just gives me more time to watch these stories.” He pointed to the TV right as two characters got into a fight.

“What a wonderful doctor I have.” Rolling your eyes, you lay your head in the crook of his neck, letting the dialogue from the TV become white noise and lull you to sleep.

[lotusss-flowerbomb]

Look Back At Me

Florian x reader

Warnings: Smutttttt

A/N: This is my entry for @blackmissfrizzle‘s 2K Follower Celebration & Bad Bitch Challenge!! Look Back At Me by Trina ft. Killa Mike was my song prompt.

Word Count: 2,582

********

"Please leave your message for—" 

You hit end call and tossed your phone onto the bed. This was the third time you'd tried to call Florian and he let his phone go to voicemail. 

Ever since the fight you two had days ago, he'd been ignoring you. No calls, no texts. 

"Fuck him, then," you said to yourself and turned on the TV. 

Seconds later, your phone started vibrating. You wrestled with the covers to find it thinking Florian was calling back. Once you picked it up and saw your best friend's name, you sighed and slid the call button. 

"Hey Bree," you greeted. 

"Biiiiiiitch!! You're not at LUXX?!" She questioned. 

"Obviously not, ma'am, do you hear music in my background?" You sassed. 

"Well, ya boy is posting on his story all up in VIP with Sandro, Masias and some hoes." 

"What?!" You hurried to grab your tablet and went to Instagram. 

Clicking on Florian's story, you watched as he smiled and laughed with his friends. Some chick in a tight green dress sitting closely next to him. 

"Did y'all break up and you didn't tell me?" 

"I mean, we had a fight over something stupid and we haven't been speaking, but a break up is news to me…" 

"Nuh un, don't sound sad. Get dressed. I'll be there to pick you up," she said before hanging up. 

You thought about texting her and telling her that it wasn't worth it, but you weren't gonna sit around with hurt feelings while he partied, so you hopped in the shower to start getting ready. 

********

You were putting the finishing touches on your makeup when Bree called to tell you that she was pulling into the driveway. You grabbed your clutch, threw your phone inside and headed out. 

"Ooh, you look cute," she said when you got inside of the car. 

"Thanks, boo, so do you," you air kissed her cheek. 

When she pulled up to the club, she gave the valet her keys and the bouncer let you both walk right in. You could hear people grumbling behind you about how they'd been waiting. 

Since everyone there knew who you were, another bouncer escorted you both to the VIP area. 

"We're getting our own section tonight, Leo, giving the boys their space, ya know?" You told him. 

He raised an eyebrow at you, but didn't question it. He sat you in the section right next to Florian's. A bottle of champagne rested in the bucket waiting for you upon arrival. 

Within seconds, Florian and Masias were walking over to the two of you. Bree pretended as if she didn't see them as she popped the bottle to pour the champagne. 

"What are you doing here?" He questioned. 

"Don't worry, I didn't come here to bother you. My friend asked me to come out with her so I did," you shrugged and grabbed your flute. 

"Come here, I need to talk to you." 

"No, that's okay, when I tried talking to you you ignored my calls, remember? Go ahead back over there with your groupies," you dismissed him. 

Florian walked away. He wasn't gonna cause a scene there. If you wanted to be that way then fine. 

"Go back over there with your friend, Masias," Bree said. 

"What if I wanna stay with you?" He smirked. 

"Boy bye!" She waved her hand 

"You've never even given me a chance." 

"Because I know your type and I won't be wasting my time, now go away." 

Masias finally gave up and walked away. You side eyed Bree. You knew that she had a thing for that man and they flirted like two lovesick teens, but tonight she was standing in solidarity with you. 

You waved your server down and asked for more champagne. You figured it'd be safe to stick with that instead of mixing it with hard liquor. 

********

You were on your fourth glass of champagne. You were up dancing to the music and every so often you'd look over just to see Florian staring at you and  made sure to sway your hips perfectly to every beat. 

With the alcohol coursing through your body, you were feeling the vibes and really having fun despite your “ex” being in the section next to you. 

"Ladiieeessss, if you remember this song, I want you to come to the dance floor and show out for me one time!" The DJ announced. 

"If you want it you can get it if you wit it, I'ma hit it flip it rub it dump it smack it look back at I'm an addict—"

"Ooh! That's my shit let's go!" You grabbed Bree's hand and led her down the stairs. 

Florian stood and watched you over the balcony. You and Bree hit the dance floor and rapped along with the words. 

"I got a ass so big like the sun. Hope you got a mile for a dick I wanna run. Slap it in my face, shove it down my throat—" 

A guy walked up behind you and you started grinding on him. Florian's blood immediately started to boil. He knew that you were acting crazy in order to get under his skin. 

"I know how to fuck. I know how to ride. I can spin around and keep the dick still inside. Now ya mouth wide, you lookin real scared. I'ma man eater, head hunter, I'm prepared—" 

You turned around to face the guy and grabbed the back of his head. 

"If you want it, you can get it if you wit it, I'ma hit it, flip it rub it up and smack it look back at it I'm an addict. Look back at me—" 

That set him off. He walked down the stairs slowly and headed towards the dance floor. 

You weren't paying attention to him and hopped up on the platform with the stripper pole as the second verse started. 

"Put this pussy in yo jaws now smack. Like it's Thanksgiving and it ain't coming back—" 

The room was spinning before you could understand what was happening. You yelped and grabbed on to the nearest body, so you wouldn't hit the floor. 

Once you realized it was Florian, you tried to snatch away, but he had such a tight grip on your arm that you weren't going anywhere. 

You had to skip in order to keep up with his quick stride. 

"I have on heels, you need to stop before I fall!" You yelled over the music. 

He didn't turn around, but he did slow down a little. When you got outside, his truck was already waiting at the valet and the attendant had the door open and waiting for you. 

"Get in," he demanded. 

"No, I came with Bree and I'm not gonna leave her," you turned to go back inside, but he grabbed you again. 

He lifted you up and sat you down in the seat, put your seatbelt on and then slammed the door behind him. When he got into the driver's seat, he closed the door so hard you were surprised the windows didn't break. 

The ride home was mostly silent. You rubbed your wrist where he'd been holding on to you. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," he reached over and rubbed the spot gently. 

Your phone started vibrating inside of your clutch. You figured it was probably Bree checking on you, so you answered. 

"Are you okay?!" She yelled the moment you picked up. 

"I'm fine," you shrugged. 

"I was trying to get out there to you, but Masias wouldn't get out of my way," she explained. 

"Don't worry about it. Is he gonna ride home with you? I didn't want to leave you by yourself." 

"Yes, he's riding home with me and his ass isn't even allowed inside. He can wait in the lobby for his Uber!" 

You laughed. You could only imagine how hard she'd just rolled her eyes at that man. 

"Well don't worry about me, I'm fine. You just get home safe and try not to hurt the poor guy." You advised. 

"Okay and Florian, you'd better not hurt my friend or I will come after you!" She hollered. 

"Goodnight, Bree," you laughed and hung up. 

"Does she really think that I would harm you?" He asked. 

"Well, you did just drag me out of a nightclub while your friend kept her barricaded inside," you shrugged. "Also, I don't want to go to your place. Take me home." 

"My place is your home. You're the one who left and went back to your apartment over a petty argument." 

"Petty?!" You screeched. 

"Yes, petty! And then you're in there shaking your ass and being disrespectful." 

"Oh, I'm being disrespectful as if you didn't break up with me??"

He pulled into the driveway and before he could put the truck in park, you were jumping out and walking back towards the road. 

He quickly ran behind you and threw you over his shoulder. 

"Put me down right fucking now, Florian!" You punched his back. 

May as well been hitting a brick wall. 

He set you on your feet once you were inside, but made sure to stand in front of the door, so you couldn't leave. 

"Who said that we broke up?" 

"You not answering my calls and letting your lil bimbo bitch be all over you at LUXX told me everything that I needed to know. But then you get jealous when you see me with another guy? You're full of shit." 

"That's not—" 

"Save it," you cut him off, "I didn't get in the way of you getting fucked tonight, so you shouldn't have gotten in mine." 

You watched his face darken. Of course you didn't mean the words that you'd just so foolishly said, but it was much too late to take them back. 

He walked towards you slowly. Your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest at any moment. You backed up until you hit a wall. 

"Shit," you tried to turn and run, but he grabbed you and slammed you back into the wall. 

"You wanna get fucked?" He growled. "What were the lyrics? You got an ass so big like the sun?" He lifted you dress over your ass and palmed it in his big hand. 

He used his other hand to grab yours and guide it to his dick. You could feel him growing hard through his jeans. 

He kicked your legs apart and rubbed his fingers over your pussy. 

"Is this enough dick for that mile ride?" He asked as he slid a finger inside of you. 

You unbuttoned his pants and reached inside to squeeze his cock. He groaned and slid another finger into your core. Working them in and out quickly. It felt so good, you pressed your forehead against his chest. 

He used his free hand to grip your cheeks. 

"Open up," he said. 

You stuck your tongue out as he pulled his fingers from you and stuck them in your mouth. You kept eye contact with him as you sucked on his slick coated fingers. 

Once you were done, he lowered you to your knees. You assisted in pulling his jeans off and freeing his throbbing member. You licked your lips at the sight of him. 

He grabbed your face so you once again opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue. He slapped his dick on it and then on your cheek. 

"That’s what the song said, yeah? Slap it in your face? What's next?" 

"Shove it down my throat," you quickly answered. 

He wasted no time sliding into your mouth until he couldn't go anymore. 

You grabbed his ass and pushed him further down. Relaxing your throat, so you could take all of him in. 

Florian threw his head back. A loud groan leaving his lips. He pulled out, because he knew that a second longer would've resulted in him cumming down your throat and he wasn't through with you yet. 

You took a deep breath when he was fully out. Smiling up at him, because you knew why he moved. 

He helped you up and then bent you over the couch. 

"I really don't like the way you were acting. Making that fucker think that he ever had a chance with you," he got down on his knees behind you and sucked your clit into his mouth. 

He licked and sucked on your pussy from the back like a pro. Reminding you of one of the reasons why you put up with his shit. 

You were struggling to stay upright in your high heels and the upcoming orgasm was causing your knees to buckle. 

He turned you around. He wanted to see your face when you came. The way you bit your lip, the way your eyes pinched shut. It was all reserved for him and only him. 

"Look at me," he demanded. "This is my pussy, right?" 

You couldn't answer. Your mouth dropped as a tingling sensation washed over your entire body. You laced your fingers in his short hair as you rocked back and forth over his face. 

He stood and scooped you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he brought you around to lie down on the couch. 

"Answer my question," he said as he trailed kisses from your lips to your throat. "Who does this pussy belong to?" 

"I'm single, remember?" You taunted him. 

"Ooh," he pulled the top of your dress back exposing your nipple. "That's the wrong answer," he said and bit down hard on your nipple. 

Your scream was a mixture of pain and pleasure. 

He turned you on your stomach and grabbed your waist forcing you onto your knees. He slapped your ass twice before thrusting inside of you. 

You screamed and scratched at the couch. He fucked your pussy with no remorse. Undoubtedly making you regret what you'd said to him. 

"Fuck, Florian, you're—" 

"Shut up and take it," he said and grabbed your throat. 

You still tried to run a little, so you laid down flat. Worst idea ever since you were now trapped beneath his large body. His hand pressed into the arch of your back as he fucked you. 

"Look back at me," he turned your head. "Now, whose pussy is this?" He hit you with a hard stroke in between each word. 

"Yours! It's yours baby," you moaned as you felt the waves building once again. 

He gave you a sloppy kiss as his hips started to stutter. 

"Yes, daddy, cum in your pussy," you urged him. 

You tightened around him as you came. Digging your nails into the material of the sofa. That provoked his orgasm and he released ribbons of warm cum inside of you. 

After a few seconds of catching his breath, he pulled out of you and lied down beside you. 

"I'm sorry," he finally broke the silence. "I should have talked to you about our problems instead of ignoring you."

"I forgive you," you reached up to scratch his beard, "just don't let it happen again or I'll knock yo ass out." 

"Oh, really?" He repositioned himself, so that he was in between your thighs. 

You felt him getting hard again and tried to move. 

"Nah, let's see who knocks who out first," he said as he slid into you again. 

You braced yourself. Tonight was gonna be a long night and you were ready for it. 

[waitimcomingtoo]

Hi I’m back!💗 I was wondering (if it’s not too big of a hassle) if you could do a Plank All Over Me but they do a relationship test. Like the one Meghan Trainor and her husband did for buzzfeed? Love you tons!-✨

Plank All Over Me - Couples Tag Edition

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

AN: you do NOT have to have read the others to understand this. Enjoy :)

Masterlist

Plank All Over Me 1 & Yoga Edition

“Hi, I’m Tom Holland.” Tom smiled widely at the camera.

“And I’m actually excited to be in this video.” You nodded in approval now that you and Tom were doing a normal video that didn’t require either of you to get into painful positions.

“You never say your name when we do these. You always say something else.” Tom looked at you as he realized the pattern with the intros of the videos you did together. “This is my girlfriend Y/n L/n by the way, everyone. Please pardon her manners.” He cracked a smile. 

“Yeah, but I do it on purpose. Its like my thing for these kinds of videos.” You explained yourself to Tom.

“Oh.” He deadpanned, pretending not to care about your explanation. You laughed at his serious expression.

“I can’t believe this video turned into our breakup.” You said to the camera and he laughed beside you.

“Can we both cry so they have something for the thumbnail?” He suggested to the camera crew.

“Or, better idea, hear me out.” You looked between Tom and the camera. “We start the video.”

“That’s a great idea.” Tom pulled your chair closer to his and slung an arm around you. “I’m Tom, this is Y/n, and we’re doing the Buzzfeed Couples Tag.”

“So first we have to check off what we know about each other.” You said as you scanned the list of questions while Tom kissed the side of your head. “Do you want to just do a back and forth?”

“Sure. I’ll go first.” Tom pulled the completed closer to himself. “When’s my birthday?”

“June 1st 1862.” You answered confidently.

“Perfect.” Tom player along. “Your turn.”

“My age?” You read off the screen.

“Trick question, you’re timeless.” Tom smiled and you gushed. “Just kidding guys, shes 53.” He said to the camera.

“I’m just not but okay.” You muttered.

“What’s my zodiac sign?” Tom read.

“Little bitch?” You asked.

“You got it.” Tom nodded. You laughed and kissed his cheek.

“What’s my favorite movie?” You asked.

“That’s easy. It’s a tie between Spiderman: Homecoming, Spiderman: Far From Home and Spies in Disguise, out this Christmas.” Tom winked at the camera after he listed off his own films.

“You were close.” You pointed at him. “It’s actually a tie between Deadpool, Definitely Maybe, and The Proposal.”

“But…” Tom faltered. “But those are all Ryan Reynolds movie.”

“Yea, but that’s just because I wish he was my boyfriend instead of you.” You said with fake seriousness.

“Oh, okay.” Tom nodded as he went along with your joke. “It’s funny though, I haven’t seen any videos of you planking over Ryan Reynolds so…” ,he clicked his tongue.

“Thats because Ryan and I like to keep those videos private, don’t we baby?” You shot a wink at the camera.

“Okay, okay. That’s enough before I actually get mad.” Tom laughed. “And you have never seen Definitely Maybe.”

“Yes I have.” You defended. “That’s the one where they’re British and the little boy from Nanny McPhee plays the drum.”

“That’s Love Actually, and you gave the worst possible description of it, so congratulations.” Tom commemorated you as you laughed.

“We just got so off topic. Who even asked the last question?” You wondered.

“I’ll go.” He looked at the computer for the next question. “What’s my coffee order?”

“Here we go.” You roll your eyes at the ceiling. “Tom doesn’t drink coffee. He drinks sugar with a few spoonfuls of tea in it.”

“Yes, I do.” Tom confirmed. “And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“There’s gonna be something wrong with that when all your teeth fall out. Do you want to be bald and have no teeth? Is that what you want?” You pretended to heckle him.

“That’s weird, I don’t see that question on the computer.” Tom said as he squinted at the computer, pretending to inspect the quiz.

“That’s because I made it up.” You said.

“That’s because I made it up.” Tom mimicked. Your eyes went wide and he bent over laughing. “I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean that.”

“The title of this video is gonna be Couples Tag leads to a break up?” You did an over exaggerated shrug. “With pictures!”

“And then “shocking!” in parenthesis.” Tom added on, poking fun at the youtube titles you were so used to seeing.

“Emotional!” You put your hand over your heart.

“Can we keep going?” Tom asked through his laughter.

“Yes, sorry.” You laughed and looked at the computer. Oh now it’s generic questions. Does your significant other have any bad habits?”

“No.” Tom said after thinking for a moment. “I’m perfect.”

“Oh, I know. His bad habit is that when he gets scared, he goes like this,” you pull your arm back and make a fist, “as if he’s about to deck someone.”

“That’s just my flight or fight response, darling. I won’t apologize for it.” Tom quipped.

“But you always choose fight!” You laugh. “Do you know how many times I’ve seen him about to punch a clump of hair?” You said to the camera.

“It looks like a spider! Your hair is all over the damn flat and it looks like a spider.” Tom brought up a common argument you two had.

“Okay, but why are you trying to punch a spider?” You defended.

“That’s an excellent question, my love, that I do not know the answer to.” Tom said with a smile and you double over laughing at the stupid argument. “Can you imagine walking into our home and seeing me about to punch a spider?” He chokes out through his laughter.

“Wait,” you wipe your eyes and try to compose yourself before giggling again, “remember that one time with the wind-“

“Don’t mention the wind chimes!” He cuts you off, which makes you laugh harder. “We swore to never speak of that day.”

“You swore.” You pointed out. “I just kept apologizing to the man.”

“Next question.” Tom said quickly. “When and where did we meet?”

“We met on the set of BBC Radio 1, in the studio when we filmed the Plank All Over Me challenge last year.” You recalled with a fond smile.

“Awww. I remember that.” Tom smiled at the memory and leaned over to kiss you. “Look at us now.”

“I know. You’re bald and I’m cheating on you with Ryan Reynolds.” You said with a dreamy expression.

“What was that?” Tom pretended not to hear you.

“I said where was our first date?” You read the next question.

“Oh, we went to that ice cream shop in Soho and got milkshakes.” Tom remembered the first time you’d gone out together.

“Tom told me he wanted to take me out for a drink but didn’t want me to think he was trying to get me drunk, so he took me out for milkshakes.” You recalled to the camera with a fond smile. “I thought that was so cute when you told me.”

“I’m glad you thought me being a massive nerd was cute.” Tom chuckled and you kissed his cheek repeatedly.

“It worked didn’t it? You got me.” You cooed.

“That’s right. I got you.” He smiled proudly and kissed you again, pulling you close. You rested your head on Toms shoulder for the remainder of the video.

“Where and when was our first kiss?” He asked.

“Our first kiss was in your bedroom after I beat you in a game of Wii tennis.” You said proudly.

“That’s right.” He grinned. “The first of many.”

“Just kidding. We’ve been together ten months and have not kissed since that day.” You deadpanned to the camera.

“We kissed twice in this video alone.” Tom pointed out.

“Sounds false.” You shrugged and felt his shoulders move under your head as he laughed.

“Anyway, Y/n was going crazy over winning and rubbing it in my face and I just grabbed her and kissed her.” Tom reminisced about the moment you had first kissed.

“I still don’t know if he actually wanted to kiss me or he just wanted to shut me up.” You joked.

“I don’t know that either darling.” Tom chuckled.

“Thank God.” You laughed. “Who said ‘I love you’ first?”

“I did, about four weeks in.” Tom nodded as he did the math in his head. “But I knew I loved you long before that.”

“Aw.” You beamed. “I still haven’t said it.” You deadpanned to the camera.

“She’s just kidding.” Tom assured the camera. You shook your head and mouthed “no.” Tom caught your reaction and pretended to tear up.

“I’m kidding.” You giggled and pulled him into a hug. “I love you.”

“Okay.” Tom let out a pretend breath of relief. “I was worried for a minute there.”

“Aw, no.” You bit your tongue between your teeth. “What’s the next question?”

“What’s my shoe size?” He asked.

“Huge. What’s my favorite song lyric?” You continued.

“So we’re gonna ignore that last answer?” Tom looked at the camera in fear. “Okay. You love the lyrics “so why don’t we go somewhere only we know?” and they always make you cry.”

“Do you remember why I love that song?” You asked him. “I told you on our first date.”

“Because it makes you think of Bridge to Terabithia.” He knew the answer immediately.

“Yes.” You smiled warmly at the thought of your favorite childhood movie. “Nothing crushes us.” You quoted.

“I haven’t seen that in so long.” Tom realized. “Can we watch it when we get home?”

“Of course we can. I’m always down to see Josh Hutcherson.” You wiggled your eyebrows. “Ask your next question.”

“Do you think Josh Hutcherson is better than me?” Tom pretended to read the question off the screen.

“Well, he survived the Hunger Games with nothing but baking skills and you died when some dude snapped his fingers, so I think the question answers itself.” You said.

“It wasn’t some dude, it was a titan.” Tom defended. “And Peeta was lying on the floor for half the Games. I actually fought.”

“Look at the material.” You shrugged.

“I can’t stand you. Ask your question.” Tom laughed.

“What did I wear on our first date?” You read. “Who remembers that?” You asked the camera.

“You had on a dark red turtleneck and a little black skirt.” Tom recalled and you looked impressed. “Your hair was half up half down and curled and you had a little black ribbon in it.” He smiled.

“I guess Tom remembers that.” You said with an approving nod.

“How could I forget? You were the prettiest girl in that ice cream shop.” He complimented you.

“I was also the only girl who wasn’t 7.” You pointed out.

“Wait, I think that was our last question.” Tom realized as he tried to scroll down but couldn’t anymore. “I guess that’s it. Thanks for watching our Couples Tag with Buzzfeed.” Tom smiled at the camera.

“Can we go home and watch Bridge to Terabithia now?” You asked as you rubbed his arm.

“Yes, lets go home.” He grinned.

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @sunrise-shawn @foreverxholland @writing-for-hours-on-end @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @autumnlyholland @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @ho-ho-holland @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @m19friend @justcallmehitgirl @iamanerdot @averyfosterthoughts @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @celestial-skylines

[little-diable]

Watch it - Flip Zimmerman (fluff)

Request by anon: So I was thinking what if Flip liked the only female officer who is really feisty and talks back to the sexist officers, she gets hurt during a mission and Flip goes to see her and she teases him and accidentally makes him confess he likes her? Thank you my love

Thank you so much for requesting a Flip imagine. Hope you like it. Enjoy my loves. xxx

“I’d advise you to keep your mouth shut, if you want to go home, without a nice, black eye gracing your features.”, (y/n)s eyes were focused on the file in her hands, smirking as she listened to Flips chuckles, eyes challenging David, advising him not to keep on talking. The officer huffed, turned his back on (y/n) and Flip and stormed out of the office, muttering something under his breath, that would probably enrage (y/n) even further. 

Being the only female officer in Colorado Springs came with certain prices to pay, you had to have a tough skin, being able to talk back to the sexist officers, that told you, that you belong in the kitchen and not in a police station. (Y/n) was grateful for the many hours, where her older brothers had roughened her up, showed her how to defend herself, probably where her foul mouth came from. 

Flip Zimmerman, the officer that worked alongside (y/n), admired her, not only because of the way she would talk back and take nothing from anybody, but also for her loving personality, knowing that she’d always have his back. He’d find himself watching her from across the room almost every day, Flip would still call her ‘rookie’, loving the smirk that would tug on her lips as she’d ram her elbow into his side, telling him to “watch it”. 

Despite her hard shell, (y/n) liked to sneak a few homemade cookies into the station, all for Flip, would bring him coffee every morning, telling herself, that she was just being friendly. Of course she wasn't just being ‘friendly’, (y/n) liked Flip a lot more than she’d let on, but this was a secret she’d keep locked away from everybody. 

She got pulled into the KKK case relatively quickly, shadowing the members alongside Ron as Flip would take on Rons personality. The boys would worry about her nonstop, trying to tell her to “keep back”, ignoring the way she’d glare at them, not listening to their commands. Deep down she’d adore the way Ron and Flip would try to protect her, ignoring the fluttering of her heart as Flip would slightly pull her behind his massive frame, keeping her from throwing herself into the fire. 

“Psycho Killer” by The Talking Heads blasted through Flips car as he drove (y/n) to where they’d meet Jimmy, he was smoking a cigarette, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, singing the lyrics. (Y/n) couldn’t stop laughing, Flips voice got higher and higher, emphasizing the “Oh, oh, oh, oh, aye-ya-ya-ya-ya”, he chuckled, loving the smile that she wore on her lips. 

His voice turned more serious as the song ended, “you’ll stay with Jimmy, alright rookie?.”, Flip grasped her jaw, tracing her skin, smirking as she ripped her face away from his hold, “don’t tell me what to do, Zimmerman”. (Y/n) kissed his cheek, shot him one last glance before she climbed out of his car, she’d stay behind with Jimmy, observe Connie and see what the members were up to. 

Jimmy blabbered about god knows what, (y/n) tried her best to swallow down the groan, that was about to leave her mouth, she truly did, but, she didn’t sign up for this, didn’t become an officer, just to stay behind in a car and ‘obsereve’. "I'll go and find a toilet, you stay here, alright?”, Jimmy took another drag of his cigarette and stepped out of the van, not picking up the relieved sigh that fell from her lips. (Y/n)s eyes were focused on the street, slowly moving her body forwards as she watched Connie leave the venue and walk towards her car. 

“What are you up to, Connie?”, she muttered, (y/n) didn’t think twice before she started the car and began to follow her, not caring about Jimmy or the way Flip would have her ass later on. It took a while, till Connie parked her car, “shit”, (y/n) watched her fumble around with the mailbox, only now realizing, that Connie was about to place a bomb. (Y/n)s hands were getting sweaty, she grasped her gun and stepped out of the car, set on stopping Connie from going any further. 

But as Connie ran towards the car and shifted the package underneath, Rons car shot around the corner, “finally”, (y/n) moved towards the car, knowing that she should try and get the bomb. She seemed to move on autopilot, not noticing the way Ron was being beat up by a cop, nor did she notice Felix car nearing. She was laying on the crosswalk, desperately trying to grasp the package, her mind seemed to be shut off, she didn’t think about the risk she was taking, only trying to keep everybody nearby safe. 

“(Y/n)!”, Rons voice ripped her out of her trance, “run.”, her natural instincts seemed to kick in, making her rise from the floor and beginning to run away from the car, but a loud bang made her freeze on the spot, a massive heatwave embraced her and ripped her off her feet. 

(Y/n) banged her head on the pavement, groaning as she wrapped her arms around her head, trying to protect herself from the explosion. Her head was spinning, she felt blood drip out of her nose, her breathing seemed to slow down, the last thing she heard was Flip screaming “undercover cop, fucking idiot”, then everything turned back. 

Flip was focused on Ron, helping him out of the handcuffs, ignoring Rons annoyed “you’re late”. “I’ll call Jimmy and (y/n), let’s see if-”, Ron jogged towards (y/n)s frame and called Flips name, screaming at Patrice to call an ambulance. “Fucking hell, rookie.”, Flip whispered as he sunk to his knees next to her, checking her faint pulse, his heart was rapidly beating, all the different scenarios were running through his mind, he was desperately trying not to think about the “what if’s”. 

He followed the ambulance to the hospital, anxiously sitting in the waiting hall, only leaving to smoke a cigaret, trying to calm his nerves. It took them a while, to flick her together, she had a few broken ribs and her nose was slightly cracked, Flips hands were still balled into fists as he thought about her injuries, hating himself for not being able to protect her. 

“You can go in now, if you’d like.”, the nurse smiled at him, eyes ranking up and down his frame, hoping, that he’d notice her advances, but Flip couldn’t care less. He stormed into her room, eyes finding hers, he let out a relieved sigh, grasped her hand, “you look like shit, rookie.”. The sound of her chuckle hallowed through the room, a small “fuck you” fell from her lips, her whole body was hurting, she felt exhausted, though grateful, that Flip was right there with her. 

“God, I was so scared, (y/n), you promised to stay with Jimmy.”, he couldn’t help but scold her, “you could have died, rookie. What would I do without your annoying ass chasing me through the department, huh? I can’t lose you.”. Her eyebrows were furrowed together, she was intensely watching him, “oh, stop it Flip, you would have done the same.”, she felt way too tired to keep on fighting with him. She patted the space next to her, telling him to crawl into her bed and wrap his big arms around her frame, (y/n) needed to feel him close, desperate for some kind of safety. 

He squeezed himself into the bed, (y/n) placed her head on his chest and yawned against his skin, smiling as he ran his hand through her (y/h/c) hair. She could hear his heart rapidly beating against his ribcage, Flip felt nervous, still a bit shaken up, from finding her unconscious earlier on. “I need you to promise me something, rookie.”, he whispered, Flip closed his eyes, trying to sort his thoughts, “Promise me, that you’ll never do something as reckless as this again.”. 

(Y/n) grasped his hand and interlaced her fingers with hers, “why do you care that much?”, she whispered, hoping, that he’d finally voice out, what was going on inside of his head. “Because I love you and I don’t want to imagine a life, without you in it.”, Flip rasped out, he was freaking out on the inside, the tall man felt scared, truly scared, not one to talk about his feelings, simply like that. A chuckle fell from (y/n)s lips, she closed her eyes, “I love you too, Flip.”, she was drifting off into another dreamless sleep, not noticing the relieved sigh, that fell from his lips. 

It took (y/n) a few weeks to recover, Flip had stayed by her side, he’d read to her, had watched some television with her, while she was cuddled into his side, keeping herself from moving around too much. People would cheer for her and Flip as they’d finally return to the department, not being able to hide their relationship, their glances, smiles and stolen touches had been way too obvious. 

Ron was currently on the phone with David Duke, Flip was sitting on Rons desk, right next to him, surrounded by Jimmy and Trapp, (y/n) placed between Flips thighs. All were trying to tone down the volume of their chuckles, (y/n) pressed her head into the crook of Flips neck, giggling against his skin, he had his arms wrapped around her, holding her tight, barely able to stop laughing. 

(Y/n) felt grateful for her boys, knowing that they’d have her back no matter what, just like she’d try and protect them for the rest of her life, hopefully side by side with Flip. 

[august-anon]

Tickletober Day 2 - Feathers

I’m so tired and busy lately that I’m proud of a 2-day streak of pre-written fics, what does that say about me lol

Fandom: The Witcher

Ship(s): Geraskier

Characters (lee/ler): Ler!Geralt, Lee!Jaskier

Word Count: 1663 words

Summary: Jaskier seems to have misplaced his quill. He finds himself in a rather ticklish position once Geralt finds it.

[ao3 link]

-----------------------------------

Jaskier hummed a melody under his breath as he wrote out his newest lyrics, inspired by Geralt’s bruxa hunt last week. He added some embellishments, sure (Geralt was so stingy with the details, anyway), but such was the nature of art. Jaskier was sure he’d get Geralt to understand, one day.

His composing was then rudely interrupted by Geralt busting into their shared room, sending the door crashing into the wall. Jaskier held back a wince. He really hoped there wasn’t any damage, there. They couldn’t exactly afford to pay the innkeeper back for it, if there was.

“Must you break every door you come across?” Jaskier asked, tucking his quill behind his ear for safekeeping, ignoring the tingling sensation as he slid it across his skin.

Geralt grunted and dropped two plates full of food on their rickety table, thankfully much more carefully than he opened the door. Jaskier sighed. Geralt was probably so surly because of how rude the local townsfolk had been to them since they arrived, which Jaskier certainly couldn’t fault him for. Even Jaskier himself had been losing his patience with them, which was why he had been upstairs composing instead of downstairs earning some much-needed coin.

For once, Jaskier didn’t feel the need to start conversation. He left Geralt to his own devices as they ate, focusing on his songbook, tapping out beats with one hand and eating with the other. Years ago, he would’ve been worried about staining the parchment with food, but travelling with a witcher rid one of those worries rather quickly. Jaskier had many songbooks tucked away in Oxenfurt that were stained with far worse than a mediocre stew.

It was only after he finished eating that Jaskier decided to go back to jotting down lyrics, reaching for where he assumed he’d left his quill on the table. Only, his quill wasn’t there. He looked up from his notebook to find that it wasn’t anywhere on the table, though he can’t imagine he’d set it down somewhere else, considering he’d not moved since Geralt arrived back to the room.

“What did you lose, now?” Geralt asked, glancing over towards the end table by the bed, as if he even knew what he was looking for.

“My…” Jaskier started, but trailed off absentmindedly as he ducked his head under the table to check the floor beneath it and the chairs.

“Your what?”

Jaskier snapped back into the present, sitting up again. “My quill. I could’ve sworn I just had it before you came in, but I seem to have misplaced it now.”

Geralt stared at him.

Jaskier stared back.

Geralt continued staring, expression slowly shifting from are you serious to are you a fucking idiot.

“What?” Jaskier asked. “Is there something on my face?”

“Jaskier.”

Jaskier reached up to rub around his mouth, worried that perhaps he’d managed to get food stuck to him somewhere. How unattractive that would be! Though, he supposed Geralt could always kiss it off…

But there was nothing on his face.

“I truly have no idea why you’re looking at me like that.”

Geralt huffed out a noise that was almost a laugh, though not quite. He shook his head and reached out toward the side of Jaskier’s head. Jaskier frowned. Had he ruffled his hair so badly while he was working on his songs that even Geralt thought it needed fixing? He really ought to be more aware of it, if he was tugging on his hair that hard. He had an image to maintain, after all.

But Geralt didn’t smooth his hair down. In fact, Geralt’s hand didn’t touch Jaskier at all. Instead, he grabbed onto something just above Jaskier’s ear and tugged.

And Jaskier squealed.

He jerked backwards, nearly toppling his entire chair over with him still in it. The tingly, ticklish feeling was still echoing against his ear and the skin behind it, teasing him and making him want to squirm even though the moment had passed. Rubbing vigorously at his ear and looking up, Jaskier saw his quill pinched between two of Geralt’s fingers.

“My quill!” He said, hoping to distract Geralt from the scene he just made with his cheering. “Thank you, my dear, I--”

“What was that?” Geralt asked.

Jaskier plastered on his widest, most charming smile. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. Could I have my quill, please? I just had an idea for a wonderful set of lyrics”

Geralt stared at Jaskier, then eyed the quill. Then his eyes moved back to Jaskier, settling on his ear for a moment, and then trailing back to the quill. Understanding sparked in Geralt’s eyes, and butterflies began to swarm in Jaskier’s stomach.

“Now, Geralt,” Jaskier said, giving up all semblance of dismissing what had just happened, “let’s talk about this.”

Geralt, never one for talking, lunged.

Jaskier shrieked and scrambled backwards, this time actually toppling his chair and sending himself to the floor. Geralt must have been going easy on him, because even with Jaskier losing precious time to reorient himself, Geralt still hadn’t pinned him to the floor to torment him. He rolled over and crawled away, trying to get his feet under him in the process, but their room was only so big, and Geralt wasn’t afraid to use his mutations to his advantage.

Jaskier barely made it a couple of feet before Geralt pushed him to the floor on his stomach and, oh, this was so much worse than Jaskier was expecting. He should’ve just waited and let Geralt pin him before scrambling away, at least then he would’ve been on his back and been able to at least pretend to fight Geralt off. Now, though, he had no hope of reaching behind his back to protect himself. Maybe Geralt hadn’t been going easy on him, after all, and instead was making a calculated decision on how best to destroy him.

That certainly sounded much more likely.

And it wasn’t as though Jaskier was truly upset with the course the evening had taken. Truly, he didn’t mind being tickled, even enjoyed it sometimes (and he was certain he’d enjoy it if it was Geralt doing the tickling), but the thing was, Jaskier tended to be loud. He squealed and shrieked and squirmed enough to knock over furniture. His laugh was loud, and he had quite the large capacity for it, considering his singer’s lungs.

Oh, Jaskier really hoped they wouldn’t get kicked out of this inn for being too noisy. He really missed sleeping in a soft, warm bed, rude townsfolk be damned.

And then Jaskier heard a rumbling hum above him, the feathery end of his quill touching down on the sensitive skin behind his ear. Instead of making a futile effort to fight Geralt off, Jaskier shot his hands forward to cover his mouth. Normally, he would be wary of leaving his underarms exposed, but Jaskier doubted that a feather’s touch would be able to affect him through both his chemise and doublet.

His following squeals were thankfully muffled by his hands so as to not cause too much of a disturbance, but Jaskier still couldn’t help but squirm wildly. He wiggled where he rested between Geralt’s knees, not sure if he wished that Geralt would straddle him fully so he could be held still or if he wanted Geralt to move completely so that he could escape. His legs were kicking frantically, out of his control, boots making rather loud contact with the chair Jaskier had knocked over as he flailed.

“Are you really this ticklish?” Geralt huffed, and Jaskier swore he heard a smile in his voice.

If Jaskier wasn’t busy trying to keep himself contained, he would be offended at how calm Geralt sounded. He giggled and squealed, yet it somehow didn’t occur to him that he could shake his head back and forth to escape the feather. Instead, he just shoved his forehead into the floor, hands over his mouth, and made increasingly high-pitched noises.

“I suppose that’s a yes,” Geralt said.

Geralt shifted above him and the feather suddenly jumped from behind Jaskier’s ear, to the inside of the shell. Jaskier yelped and his hands flew away from his mouth to pound on the floor. He twisted his head and pressed the tormented ear into the floor, but Geralt simply took that as an opportunity to gently pin his head to the floor and go after his other ear.

Jaskier shrieked and squirmed, but he couldn't escape. His giggles were bordering on frantic as the soft feather teased around and inside the shell of his ear. Even Geralt was beginning to chuckle above him, clearly enjoying himself at Jaskier’s expense.

“Geralt, please!” Jaskier managed to wheeze out eventually, when he felt like the feeling was finally beginning to become too much.

Geralt slid the feather up the back of Jaskier’s neck, making him shiver, before pulling it away completely. He removed his hand from Jaskier’s head, allowing him to raise it again, and Jaskier instantly brought his hand up to rub frantically at his ear. 

Geralt leaned back to give Jaskier some space, but he didn’t lift himself off of Jaskier completely, still kneeling over him. Jaskier decided to take advantage of that, rolling over and wrapping his arms around Geralt’s neck, tugging him down. Geralt went down with a grunt, hands landing on either side of Jaskier’s head, and Jaskier tangled their legs together.

“I thought you wanted to work,” Geralt said, smirking with a raised eyebrow.

Jaskier hummed. “No, no. You owe me love and affection, now. I demand it. Cuddle me, dear witcher, before I perish from a broken heart.”

“And the floor is the most comfortable place for that?”

“Unless you’re planning to carry me to the bed.”

Geralt lowered himself just enough to press a chaste, lingering kiss onto his lips before pushing himself back up. Jaskier grinned up at him.

“That could be arranged.”