#if you hear someone wailing that's me
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Sledge and Snafu have come such a long way. they used to be biting at each other (snafu more than eugene) and now they are a well-oiled mortal-firing machine. and it is extra impressive how well they work together when things are fucked (the rounds are wet and needed to be removed very carefully)
#if you hear someone wailing that's me#but im emotional over my boys and I can not lie#hboww2rewatch#sledgefu#the pacific
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MULTIPLE PLANES HAVE HIT THE TOWERS
#WAILING INTO MY HANDS#WAILING#BAWLINH#PLEASE BRING THEM BACK#YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE ATTENDING AN MIKKSY SIGNING DURING FA DAY THE DAY AFTER THE FUCKING PARADE#AND HEARING ALL THE PANTHERS WE LOST MINUTES AFTER EACH OTHER WHILE SOMEONE YELLED ABOUT IT IN THE LINE LIKE A TOWN CRIER#THAT CAUSED ME MORE PYSCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE THAN ANYTHING ELSE#SOBBING INTO MY HANDS PLEASE RETURN THEM TO US#THEIR MICROCHIP SAYS FLORIDA. SO BRING THEM BACK#THEY GOT THEIR RINGSSSS#THEYRE SO SMILEY#TANDEM FACEOFF#WE ALL NEED TO DIE
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You know when you can just assume that someone's cute despite having never met them? Okay maybe not but I think that's about you
hello ?? this is so sweet ?? why would you send this ?? how am i supposed to move on with my life after this ??
i think i kind of get where you're coming from, or maybe not, but its so awfully sweet of you to say that, especially about me of all people ;-; thank you, like i truly don't know what to think of this, it's going to consume my every waking moment i fear.
#if you hear someone screaming and wailing#thats me violently sobbing#just look away#just ignore it#mala's asks#thanks anon :]
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Are you alright/comfortable with people writing Fanfics of your work? I would love to write a short story/fanfic for my MC x Leith and want to make sure your comfortable with it!
#ouroboros-if#interactive fiction#HELLO??? do you understand what it means for a writer to get to hear that someone likes the world you've built enough to want#to play around in it themselves#AUGH im making wailing noises of pure happiness right now#write your heart out!! and thank you for telling me :sobs:
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where hope is persevering luke ☹️
#“Din wondered if this was the first time someone ever held him before.”#“if you hold me without hurting me you'll be the first who ever did”#can you hear me WAILING#because i AM wailing#dinluke#crys' star wars hours#star wars
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positively despising how my consistent personality is leaving me and how i resort to such strange lies
#random thoughts#i write this on the cold tile floor of a place that has yet to hear my wailing screams. this is a lie. i am in bed#if my writing were anywhere near kafkaesque i don't think i'd be doing very well. but how i do admire his work#i read quite a bit. my bookshelves one day shall be piled with the works of authors such as anne rice. oscar wilde (and franz kafka himself#though this is the 21st century. what of modern fiction ? what of modern nonfiction ? i've made myself into someone#whose vocabulary is strangely extensive. we could argue that i've been this person all along#a sort of “gifted child” perhaps. except. i don't fucking use words like perhaps#as. not as. because this is a mockery of the self#how to put it less concisely ? i sound so old. “so mature for [my] age.”#i'm a very strange sort of person and when i stand alone in the water my screaming takes the form of beautiful song. but#how i long to stop the sound and choke it out into something strangled with my very own fingers. my essence is poetry#and therefore all that i am is poetry. i am so beautiful#my face and my body and everything we are made of#to spill the essence of poetry in the form of something more human. blood or spit or tears or vomit#i am so very interested in human function. what am i saying i'm being strange on purpose? but i like being strange#and this is how you see me now. my eccentric persona(lity) does not make me special at all. i'm not doing very well#i never am to tell the truth. it is getting so hard to prove my humanity and i'm starting to feel rather artificial#i have nothing to show proof of humanity such as blood or spit or tears or vomit#but then again i am simply being dramatic. i'm just being dramatic. that's it#i am just a boy and just a puppet and just how i present to others#i am pleasant. i am charming. i am robotic. i am awkward. i am cultured. i am weird. i am almost a person#my fingers are so thin. i've always been inhuman. they have their blood and spit and tears and vomit#and i have nothing but i think i like those words quite a bit. and i am watching the numbers raise higher. notifications. pretty things#i'm sorry i'm acting like this. acting. acting. actingactingactingidon't know what's brought it on#i speak so strangely. maybe i should try something else. i shall go to sleep and pretend that nothing happened. which it did. let me#bstvlpeooiamotridst . you have the words. i've been purposely alternating every three tags to write blood and spit and tears and vomit#i like patterns very much what else can i say. patterns are. pretty. though pretty isn't a word that fits into my extensive vocabulary#it should be buried at the bottom rather. what's a nicer way. i'm not actually sure#if you've made it this far please kindly say hello. otherwise that's alright#we've arrived to form our pattern again and i don't actually feel very much. bloodspit tearsvomit
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my boyfriends band and exs band keep doing shows together and it should be fine bc “everyones friends and everythings cool” (my mantra which is Half true) except it isnt because 1. my exs band is not good 2. the guitar player hates my boyfriends band for stupid reasons and the last show i was at for That Guys other band my drunk ass backed into the wall and accidentally unplugged his amp AND turned the light on AND HE KNEW IT WAS ME and stopped the set to call me out i wanted to cry and i havent recovered 3. my boyfriend (obviously) does noooooooot like that ex OR the guitar player even though hes cool about it. and being around them at the same time makes me so uncomfortable. but like. business is business. ACK!!!!!
#to be fair he isnt doing the booking its someone else who i dont think is up on the tea#but if i fr have to hear that mf wailing and moaning about how hes never gonna call my number again or whatever i will kill myself mid set#when i was a kid i used to dream songs would be written about me BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU FUCKING WISH FOR THEY MIGHT BE TERRIBLE
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Innocents among you
Part Two to TRAITORS AMONG US
SIMON RILEY X FEM!READER TASK FORCE 141 X FEM!READER
Summary: Your torture is over, but is it really? There is only the torment in your mind now. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the flowers at your hospital bed and the tormentors awaiting the relief of your forgiveness.
Part 3!!
Part 4
If you liked this would you Buy me a Coffee?
---
You flatlined twice, almost as soon as you were handed off to the medics.
Committing themselves to doing CPR before bringing in the defibrillator for an electric charge to your sudden cardiac arrest. "Clear!" They restarted your heart just outside the hallway of your cell, Simon held back by Price as your heart stopped again within the same minute and panic ensued. Johnny and Kyle hearing the news, rushing up towards the hall, their footsteps probably the echo that you held onto as your heart rate picked back up.
Clearly, you lived.
You didn't have the luxury of going comatose immediately after. As you would've preferred.
You'd awoken hours after the medical team carried you off to the infirmary. Still on edge, still plagued by discomfort and cold, despite the lights of the recovery facility and the nurses that paraded around you.
Morphine wears off in about 6 hours, so you were up wailing in agony within the same time. Clearly no one expected you up so soon, but you hadn't slept in days, at least not more than an hour. Jerking up involuntarily, hands all over you to keep you down and steady, you could hear a familiar doctor's attempt to calm you down. But, the blistering pain that radiated from every pore in your body was ringing so loud, a present noise that blocked everything out.
So, at first, you'd been terrified, attempting to clutch onto the first thing you'd woken up to. But, you couldn't move, at least not voluntarily.
With the damage to your spine for countless hours, days, and what you had discovered to be two fucking weeks of endless torture, you'd undergone three difference corrective surgeries that would 'possibly' fix the nerve and circulatory damage done to you. It had left you nearly completely immobile since your admission into the infirmary. The doctors were quite astonished that you were even alive...
The nurses were patient enough with your panicked state to slowly ease you out of your stupor. But, at times it wasn't easy, especially when you didn't even know where you were at first. Since you couldn't see...
You were blind for about four days. Everything a tinted red for a few more after you'd regained your sight.
Fevers plagued you for the week, skin that was raw and inflamed from the severe cold and constant dousing from the pipes, you couldn't move if you wanted to.
The first thing you'd been graced to see were the multiple arrangements of flowers, lilies, white tulips, hydrangeas, roses...typical assortments of regret and remorse.
"Can someone throw these away?" had been your first words.
The nurse who had been checking over your vitals looks over at the flowers, the were all over the desk, even on the floor lining the windows, once they ran out of space to put them. It was beautiful. But, she knew why. Everyone knew why. You were quite famous here in the infirmary, as you were in special unit. "Of course."
They were out within the day. The room bare once more.
And then you saw them outside your infirmary window. Just a glimpse. Around the time you were still getting your sight back.
Seeing them for the first time since everything made bile build up in your throat, a screaming fear that created a pulsing headache.
Kyle, Johnny, Price and...you didn't see Simon.
Price was...a statue. Not moving an inch. His hand against his mouth, covering up the aching distress anyone could see on his face.
Kyle was pacing, back and forth and back and forth. Making an offhanded comment at one of them every few seconds.
But, Johnny was talking, pointing spitefully at someone out of your view.
He was there too then. Simon.
Turning away from the window, you couldn't look at them anymore.
"Don't let them in," you breathe out to your doctor as she sets down a trayed mug on your sliding table as she sits you up to drink a hot cup of tea, which you had requested. "Any of them. Please." You were still so cold, you couldn't imagine dealing with any type of cold weather for a while after dealing with this.
She's confused a moment, before turning to the doorway, where she recalled seeing the four men waiting outside in the hallway. She's seen them just sitting there for days now, they wouldn't beg or argue to come in, they'd just wait. It's not like you were cleared for visitors yet anyway.
Every morning she clocked in for the job, there they were. Sitting there like abandoned children, awaiting the moment the door would open to be welcomed inside.
It was like they never left.
Of course she knew who they were to you. Word spreads fast on the base. Especially for a Task Force as 'famous' as they were around here.
Squeezing your shoulder, comfortingly. Feeling protective, your doctor spoke, "Of course," she slides the mug forward a bit, taking the teaspoon to stir once and lift it to toward your lips to sip. "Blow," she guided.
You did. And sipped.
And it was warmer than any blanket they'd wrapped you in.
---
Prior to being able to trudge around on your own, with the help of a crutch you'd been given to go to the bathroom by yourself finally, the nurses had sponged you down in bed. Your spinal surgeries led to you being at risk if they made efforts to remove you from your bed for anything more than a medical emergency.
Mostly, because you're terrified of the showerhead....and it's pathetic, but no one judges you for it as you opt for a sponge bath every time instead. Even if you're shaking as the water slides down your skin even now. The last thing you needed on top of all this was to develop aquaphobia.
Today was the first day you could do it on you own, limping your way to the bathroom with your crutch. The smell of bleach is much stronger in here, it stings your nose.
You stared at the metal stool left tucked at the side, walking around it as if it would pounce up and attack you, you try not to look at it. You'd been doing well without panic attacks for a few days now, just hold it together.
Taking a breath, you reach out to the handle for the spout, glancing up at the showerhead, before back down. Swallowing thickly when you begin to turn it before pausing, hearing the water rush up the pipe to spill out. Turning it back up just as quickly, shutting off the pipe, you inhale deeply, trembling now, hand up to the chilled tile to steady yourself.
You'll try again, you had to.
Drip...
Drip...
Unable to help yourself, the sudden rush of paranoia that runs through you is terrible, a hoarse cry leaves you. You shove yourself away from the shower stall, back ramming into the doorframe, catching yourself, and away from the showerhead as the water drips, slowly from the faucet.
Drip...
Drip...
As panic tightened its grip around your chest, your breaths quickly turned to short, sharp gasps. The room spinning, colors blurring into a dizzying whirlwind. You turn swiftly, nearly knocking yourself off your feet as the thudding of your own heart startles you, you can hear it in your ears, in your hands, in your feet.
You press a trembling hand to your chest, clawing over the area, trying to slow the frantic pace of your breathing, but it only seemed to escalate. The small room narrowing to a black hole of fear and suffocation, every gasp began to disorient you, turning lightheaded.
As tears welled in your eyes, you collapse against the side wall, sliding down to the tiled floor. Slamming your palm against your chest, once, twice, as hot tears leave streaks down your bruised face, you beg your lungs to expand and wait for your breathing to regulate.
Beginning to sob uncontrollably as you hit yourself in the chest again and again and again, waiting for the moment you found yourself able to breathe.
Why did this have to happen?
You remember the violent swing of the baton against your face, the sting it leaves afterwards, the immediate spotting of bruises forming. The memory startles you, receding back into yourself, back to that day.
"It wasn't me..." you cried loudly, in the empty room. It echoes against the tiles.
Simon wrapping his hands around your neck, staring you down as he squeezed, maliciously. You couldn't breathe as your lover shook with the strength he uses to hold himself back from taking your life.
"I'm sorry," you hiccupped. "I'm--I'm sorry," you're not sure when you crawled yourself into the corner, the lights of the bathroom flickering off dimly from your lack of movement. As you're drowned in darkness, the water dripping from the spout, the cold tile against your skin, it's too much. You scramble upwards, running out of the bathroom.
The automatic lights flicker back on inside, but you're too in your head to notice.
Stumbling down to your knees as you feel the rip of a ruined stitching tearing along your side. "Ah!" comes your startled cry. Making it to the side of your hospital bed, you fist your hand through your sheets, unable to stand yourself up.
Taking pained breaths against the sterile sheets, you bury your head in them, cursing whatever luck you thought you had in this life.
They were your family...
All you had for so many years...
As your breathing slows to distraught, agonized huffs of air, sniffling to yourself as you catch sight of your face in the metal frame of your hospital bed. The dark purple bruises beneath your eyes as the swelling gradually went down, the still bloodshot left eye of yours, the twelve stitches on the left side of your face. So gruesome you knew it would scar you for life, a permanent reminder on your fucking face.
Anger bubbled up inside you at the sight of it. At the memory that would always follow when you'd look at it.
Anger that you hadn't been able to properly feel until now.
Anger that you feared to have until today.
"Are you alright?" the sound of his voice makes you visible tense.
Simon.
He's here.
You don't turn to face him, if you did, you'd revert back to the person you were cowering into moments ago. "The door was open...I just--" he pauses, swallowing thickly. "Lemme help you up."
Hearing his footsteps suddenly moving closer, you speak fast. "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" you scream over your shoulder, tucking yourself further away from him. "Do NOT move."
He stops in his tracks. You catch the sight of him in the metal framing of the bed, he's a blur in the metal, but you notice his mask is gone, he's Simon Riley now, not Ghost as he appeared to you in the interrogation cell.
"Don't you dare get any closer," you spat.
"I heard you," he spoke, carefully. Mouth opening and closing, before speaking again. "But, you don't have to be stubborn. If you stay there any longer you could tear your stitches."
"Whose fault is that?"
Simon shifts his stance on his feet, waits a second. "I know. And I can never begin to tell you how sorry I am for what I did. What we all did to you," he says, quietly. "The intel we discovered...or that was forged, it came from a source we've used a dozen times, (Y/n), we thought it was true. It had to be. We've never been misled before."
"So..." your nails bite into your skin, you make an amused sound, biting down on your lip for a moment, till it hurt. " That's what you came here to say, huh? What you waited days to--. Is this you justifying--"
"No, (y/n), that's not--"
"--why you tortured me, strangled me, stripped me, in that fucking cell, Simon?"
"We had to believe it, at the time..."
"Was I not a trusted source?" you argued. "Had I not proven more than a thousand times that you could trust me? I've fought next to you, laid in your bed, given you my love, my trust, I--" you shook with rage at the time and energy wasted on time family, this relationship, if the end goal was always meant to just be this.. "I thought that was at least half the reason you decided to marry me..." at the mention of your relationship, you could see the way Simon nearly lost his balance, hands coming up to run along his face. "You told me you would kill me in that room..."
"I was just talking, I wouldn't have--" his voice cracks as he whispers, trying to convince.
"When you left, I thought you'd come back to kill me any minute, or Price, to spare you. I waited to die for two days, terrified out of my mind. I wondered about heaven, not if I'd make it... but what it'd be like, what I'd be missing out on," you thought back to your time in that cell, a haunted expression Simon couldn't see. "While you all got a good nights rest, woke up for some bacon and eggs, and listened to the warden tell you that your prisoner was framed...for a crime you'd already punished her for..." you stuttered on your breathing, tears flowing silently.
Simon inhales deeply. "I could never expect you to forgive me. I-I had taken my hurt out on you, I thought you did it, I was so sure. I couldn't hear what you were saying, I just could see the evidence, and I--I'm sorry. I'm sorry, love. I'm truly--" he gets to his knees behind you.
"Get up."
"I can never tell you how sorry I am---"
"Simon."
"I never should've done this to you. If I could ever--" his voice rising with distressed breaths, you didn't have to look at him to see his face a mess of sorrow, tears that would mix into the stubble on his face.
"Simon!"
"--make it up to you. If you could ever find it in your to forgive me, (y/n). I'll spend the rest of my life--" he gets closer, reaching out.
Whipping around, stiffening completely as you feel the graze of his fingers across your skin, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" you shove your back against your bedding, your hand swinging and flying across his face. His head snapping to the side as he pauses, freezing up where he kneels, having completely forgotten your request to stay put. "What's the matter with you! Even now? Even now, you can't just listen to this one thing?!"
"I-I'm sorry..." He looks at you, finally seeing your face clearly and up close since it all happened. Finally he can see the bruises along your face, the blood that fills your eye, the dark bruise still around your neck.
Seeing him. He looks rough. Honestly, he looks terrible. His hair shaggy and falling over his eye. Dark circles with bags under them. Pale, and thinner than he should be.
His jaw clenches with guilt and he averts his eyes, you continue. "How could I forgive you for this?" you stare at him, "I could forgive you, if you hadn't let them chain me up like an animal. If you hadn't watched them drown me for hours, beat me black and blue and left me screaming for days. I could forgive you if you had just believed me even for a moment." you feign thoughtfulness. "How about you look at my face. My wrists. My legs! MY FUCKING SPINE, SIMON!"
"Nothing I can say or do, will ever make any of it ok, I know that. And I can't ask for you to ever forgive--"
"What could I possible owe you in this life, that makes you think I'd even think about forgiving any of you for the things you did to me?" you gritted out, angrily.
Simon's head drops, a slow, shuttering sigh leaves him. "I'll never stop trying to make this right. Never."
"...Get out, Simon."
"I'm sorry."
"Simon."
"I'm so sorry..." he reaches out again.
"Ghost."
He's silent this time, fingers tensing, out in mid air.
"I never wanna see you again."
"I love you, (Y/n)," he confessed, eyes feral and wide. Pulling at the ends of your slip.
"I don't want to hear that, Ghost," kicking away from him. "Stop it."
"I couldn't stop even as it happened--"
"Shut up. And get out," shaking as you sneered at his desperate attempts. "It's over, Ghost."
"And I took it on you. It hurt so much, I couldn't think," Simon's face twisted with agony and remorse. "I'm sorry!"
He was making you lose your goddamn mind, you broke. "GET THE FUCK OUT!" screaming at one another as overwhelming tears escaped your eyes.
---
It's quiet in your hospital room, it's empty now, the door closed this time.
The door knob turns and opens again a moment later. "Oh no, Ms. (L/n)!" luckily it was your assigned nurse, who takes your arm and fixes it around her shoulder before helping haul yourself up to your feet. "What're you doing on the floor? There's a call button for a reason," she scolds as you sit on the edge of your bed.
You're quiet.
Alarmingly so for your nurse, who notices the pulled stitching that creates a line of blood down your side. "If this is about what happened to you..." the nurse started, speaking carefully, pulling a lining of gauze from the side to press to your skin. You don't even wince at the pressure, even when she begins to clean and replace the broken stitch. "Don't let it break you. Not even further than this experience already has..." she says, while through the last stitch and prepping a bandage.
"I've been broken long before this," you whispered, looking towards the afternoon sun shining through your window. "This. This didn't break me, no," you admitted, before glancing up with glossy eyes, rage hidden beneath a profound look of sadness. "It destroyed me."
Her hand pauses at your side, your words startling, turning to see the tear that slips down your cheek. Knowing now how deep your scars were from this, before gently sliding the last of the bandage across your skin. "Do not think you are irreparable. That time can't heal your wounds."
"But, there's always reminders," touching the stitches on your cheek, "some things can't be forgiven."
"I never said to forgive..." the nurse interjected. "If you could, after all this, you're stronger than any woman that could be named."
You snicker at that, humming soundly. "That's an interesting thought. I guess I'm one of the weaker ones then."
"And yet, still the strongest I've ever met," she finishes. Pats your cheek, "click the button next time. Save us both the heart attack."
"Noted," you assured.
As she's prepping to leave for her rounds, you open your mouth, once, twice, before clearing it. "Is it possible, someone could help me out--the water..."
"Of course," the nurse says, quickly. "Don't worry, I understand. I'll get everything set for you."
As she walks away, you breathing out your appreciation, you take a long inhale, swallowing down the heaviness in your chest.
part 3 OUT NOW!!
Tag List:
@m3ntally-unstable @dreamsarenicer @ttsbaby01 @theweirdgeninistuff @shelbycillian @azxulaa @kthehoeforfictionalmen @amusling @v1x3n @nobodycanknoww @thesinsoflust @asexualbuthorny @poisonedsultana @blackhawkfanatic @character---obsessed @yunggoblin @teenagellamaangel @hanniebanggi @nym-phos @gastonlover9000 @lyssa-211 @doodle-cat16 @haven-1307 @kneelforloki @delphiakira @just-going-through-the-motions
#simon riley angst x reader#simon riley angst#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost angst#cod angst#cod x reader#call of duty#call of duty x reader#tw torture
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I can’t decide which would be more devastating:
Getting flashbacks that we saw in Round 6, but from Till’s perspective that fundamentally alter the way we viewed those scenes (ex: Till being semi-conscious when Ivan found him in the club and knowing it was Ivan trying to comfort him), OR
Flashbacks we’ve never seen before that Ivan doesn’t remember or forced himself to forget because they didn’t fit with his narrative that Till didn’t care about him at all.
it’s going to be so devastating if there are any flashbacks of ivan in r7 dear god. i know it’s likely but i’m Not Prepared
my personal fear is till hallucinating ivan going to take his collar off at some point
#either way i’m liable to commit a felony 🙂#if you hear someone wailing in the distance when round 7 drops just know that it’s me and i’m not okay#ivanttakethis shut up about ivan challenge: impossible#ivanttakethis talks too much
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— stardust
the world is a vast place. in the grand scheme of things, humans are but a speck of dust; much like how you are sure you are nothing but a meagre speck of dust in the world he lives in, forever to be remained unseen. (if only you knew how you are the brightest star he'd ever laid his eyes upon.)
CONTAINS : gn!reader, 1.5k wc, royalty!au, contract marriage/marriage of convenience, fluff, smitten reca bc what would he be other than smitten, a little hint of bittersweet at the end if read between the lines aha...
A/N : ....i have a paper due monday. i havent started it. why do i do this to myself. (reca i love u can u not hear my cries and wails as fic after fic appears in my brain for u...)
Duke Reca of the northern territory; to many he is a well-accomplished noble, a young genius set for greater things, and the owner-slash-founder of the top theatre company. He is an idol — a role model to those who aspire to be more involved in the artistic side of the world.
To you, however, he is an absolute lunatic, the bane of your existence, and your contractual husband.
It's not like you had much choice. It was either: a) remain as a hollow puppet whose strings danced at your family's fingertips, or b) find some way to escape with outside power.
You, of course, chose the second option. Unfortunately, that somehow led to you meeting the young duke when out in the shopping district, trying to escape the suffocating presence of your family's knights accompanying you by running into a secluded alleyway, even if it was for but a momentary breather.
It was a whirlwind of a meeting... quite literally. Bodies flew; clothing tousled; breaths stolen. Well, at least for you it was like this. He, on the other hand, looked right as rain. (Lucky bastard.) You hadn't realised it was him at first, too absorbed in hasty apologies and the numbing bloom spreading across your backside like a wildfire (really, they ought to incorporate more padding in these flimsy clothes!), but when he uttered an apology of his own for not paying attention to his surroundings with an arm outstretched to help you stand, your mind all but blanked. What was someone of his status doing in a dingy alley? Didn't the newspapers report word of his self-confinement, having not stepped foot outside his manor in fervent preparation of his upcoming performance?
No, never mind all that; wasn't this a blatant opportunity being presented to you? An outside power that could help you escape the clutches of your family...
With gritted teeth, all sense of self-dignity was cast aside as you grasped his outstretched hand with both of your own, gazing into his widened eyes with your own narrowed ones.
"Your Grace, I know this is hardly the appropriate time nor place, but please... marry me!" Your words echoed within the enclosed space. Duke Reca blinked slowly down at you, and it was then you realised you never elaborated. "In... in a contractual marriage of convenience, of course."
"Oh?" he grinned, amusement and intrigue twinkling in his eyes. "And what is it you can offer me?"
"I..." Truthfully, there was nothing you could offer which would be beneficial to someone like him who had everything at the tips of his fingers. You were but a speck of dust in his world, merely floating and remaining unseen within his view. But even so, here you kneeled before him, his gaze wholly fixated on a speck of dust such as yourself. If nothing else, you at least had your desperation — a desperation to be your own person. "My lineage may be from that of a baron's, but I am confident I can be of use to you if you would permit it. So long as you accept my offer, I will do anything to aid you, whether that be through practical means or a performance you wish to see."
A beat of silence.
"Ha... haha... ahahaha!!"
And, as if things couldn't get any worse than a sore rear and disgruntled self, you were pulled out of your daze by a pair of gleaming carmine eyes, a maniacal grin, and his body, now kneeled just like you were, so very close to your own.
"That determination... how brilliantly you burn with such an expression!" The sheer glee which bled through his tone sent shivers down your spine, having never realised someone so esteemed had such a side to him. The duke breathed a breathy laugh and slightly backed up, his hands still holding your arms. "Alright, I look forward to seeing how brightly you will shine in your performance, my dear leading actor."
...Was it too late to back out and find an alternative solution?
Admittedly so, for the next thing you knew vows were declared and you were moved into the duke's residence. You could still remember your family's aghast expressions the moment you declared you were marrying Duke Reca and thus cutting ties with them. It was oddly freeing to see their contorted faces reveal their true nature.
Life as the duke's spouse was... something, to say the least. His servants and attendants almost seemed to have shed tears of joy at the revelation of their ever so lonely duke (their words, not yours) finally settling down and getting married, asking you questions such as how you both met, what drew you to their duke, who popped the question first, why you chose him of all people, so on so forth. It was... cosy. Something you admittedly weren't very accustomed to, but found yourself welcoming nonetheless.
One thing you never expected was for the duke to have a little pet of his own; a little toad dressed in a miniature beret and matching suit, at that. Assistant Director is what Reca had called her, and you think for someone so obsessed with the arts he ought to up his naming sense. She was also quite susceptible to compliments, something you discovered when commenting on the little toad's cute attire, with the duke's baffling translation of her bashfulness and her own compliment on your own looks. Apparently. You're not really sure, but you're inclined to believe it ever since she claimed a spot on your shoulder.
As the days-turned-weeks-turned-months bled into each other, you found yourself oddly lost at how well-adapted you have become of your new life and the duke's personality. From impromptu displays of affection both in and outside the manor to sporadic radio silence on his end when wholly consumed by his fervent passion for a project, you sometimes wonder just how you're still alive with the amount of heart attacks the man has given you.
But despite his... eccentricities, to put it lightly, there are times where you can't quite put a finger on certain expressions he would make when he thinks you're not looking. They're unlike his (once again, to put it very lightly) passionate eyes when rambling to you during mealtimes about an upcoming performance the troupe has; unlike the sheer mania he can exude when something truly sparks his inspiration; unlike the playfully smug grin he would give you when swooping down in dramatic flair to press a long kiss to the back of your palm; unlike the rare darkening of his expression that you cannot help but stiffen at when something or someone in the troupe doesn't quite match his expectations.
No. These ones are... soft. A kind of tenderness and unprecedented longing able to be identified if scrutinised close enough. It was evident in the ghost-like touches he would trail along your skin, as though afraid just a little more force would do irreparable damage. It was evident in the attention to even the most minute details, having everything from clothing to food to the decor suited to preferences you yourself never realised you had. It was evident in the way unadulterated fondness leaked through his tone when his unique terms of affection for you slipped through his lips when all was silent and you were supposed to be asleep.
"My dearest star..."
...Much like now, it would seem.
The bed dips by where your knees slightly bend, hidden under the beige covers. A familiar musky scent surrounds you not long after, and you find yourself involuntarily relaxing at the comfort it brings as your head further burrows into the pillow.
You want to stay awake, even if it's just for a second longer, to hear what he has to say to your less than conscious state. But, oh, his fingers threading through your hair and softly massaging your scalp and the gentle touch of his forehead against yours and the subtle comforting warmth that rolls off his body in waves does little to help you fight the sleep which easily takes over.
Oh, whatever! You'll just try and catch what he has to say next time.
Eventually your breathing evens out, only soft snores now heard within the large shared bedroom. Upon noticing this, Reca cannot stop the fond smile which lifts the corners of his lips, nor can he prevent the softening of his eyes as he continues to gaze at your sleeping form.
"My dearest [Name]," he whispers into the dead of night. Even now, several months later, he still cannot believe his luck to have run into you in that alleyway. It must have been fate which made him heed its call, urging him he would discover something sure to escape that terrible slump plaguing him for weeks on end.
Sure enough, it brought him to something irreplaceable; something he has been searching desperately for.
You.
And, with the tenderest of kisses pressed to your forehead that would put even the most sickening romantics to shame, he murmurs words of promise against your skin, an oath he swears to uphold no matter the obstacles which stand before him.
"In this life, I will ensure you have only the best of endings."
if you enjoyed this, reblogs and/or comments are greatly appreciated <33
#mr reca x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#mr reca x you#honkai star rail x you#hsr x you#PEOPLE CAN FIGHT ME ON DUKE OF THE NORTH RECA IDC IDC I WILL NOT BACK DOWN !!! NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT??? NEVER GIVE UP !!!#im sorry . royalty aus are my achilles heel... my roman empire...#also literally the first thought i had when his model was first leaked was 'HES THE DUKE OF THE NORTH !!! HE HAS THE HAIR AND SUIT !!!!'#his lc when it was leaked further solidified that idea 🧍��♀️#anyway his cn voice <3333 literally have had it looped for the whole day i kid u not ;w;;;#it just... hit everything perfectly.... the itch is well-scratched..........
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curly's dialogue from the last one and then another (the how fish is made dlc used to promote mouthwashing), because i feel like it's an interesting insight:
it's easy to get on this boat when you have to. you say to yourself, this is just temporary. just until i get what i need. got bigger things planned! then suddenly you're one year in, five years. ten. first i couldn't stand the constant, constant noise. now i can't sleep without it. a lot of things can't follow you out here. but it also means the outside world moves on without you. won't even notice until it's too late... easy to get on, hard to leave.
do you want to hear a joke? three men are in the hospital. the first man cries "i lost both my hands, they told me i'll never work again!" - the second man wails "i lost both my legs, they told me i'll never work again!" - the third man? he rejoices "i lost my hearing, they'll never be able to tell me i'm fired again!" hahahah! good one, huh?
next comes spite. first it stares back at you in the mirror. then it's those around you. they're wearing your face, and you theirs... you know. he joined because of me. what were the words i used? ah, right. "it's a great opportunity. easy money, just a trip or two." someone else's words in my mouth. hey, worked on me as well, right? change hurts, but worse things fester for a long time. i told him as much. i tried, i really did. we're defined by our past, but not slaves to it. we said tomorrow will be different. today would be the last day. the last one. the last one and then another. and another, and another, and another...
#he seems so disillusioned#understandably so!#and the way he talks abt jimmy. god.#he really DID think he could keep everybody safe. it doesn't excuse him but god#og#horror tag#mouthwashing#how fish is made#the last one and then another#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing game#wrong organ#fav
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Simon would never argue with MOB, that’s a given. And defending her honor??? Maybe it’s leaked that Mrs. Riley is in fact a Mail Order Bride for who knows where doing who knows what and let’s just say someone spreads that rumor around base and it gets back to one Lieutenant👀👀
mail-order bride
cw: graphic depictions of violence, a little smidge of dark!simon, misogynistic language (18+)
"here to see your husband, mrs. riley?"
you smile, shuffling in the chair. the woman who greets you is always here with a happy disposition, even when she's drowning in paperwork and the telephone on her desk won't stop ringing. she looks a little stressed today, but she gives you a smile anyways.
"yeah," you smooth your hands down your jeans, looking around. "told me his day would be slow, so i thought i'd bring him--"
you're interrupted by the sound of intense laughter and loud voices. the front doors open, banging against the wall practically, and a group of soldiers move past you. you fiddle with your purse, smoothing your thumb over the leather, but when you hear the subtle laughter and whispers still around you, you look up.
you make eye contact with several privates. they're whispering in each other's ears, but once they notice you're staring, they laugh a little more and make continue into the building. some of them look over their shoulder at you, and you look down to see if something is wrong with your outfit. when you check to make sure no tags are sticking out and that you haven't worn two different shoes, you just try to shrug it off, tucking your hair behind your ears and tapping your foot anxiously against the linoleum floor.
"okay, he's ready to see you. you know where it is by now, right?"
you blink, nodding, and then you swing your purse over your shoulder to walk over.
there's a game playing in the rec room. they've got banners up for their teams hung on the walls and streamers in different colors, and there's lots of men cheering and whooping in the room. just as you pass by the door, you squeak as you bump right into two laughing men, stumbling a little as they try to right themselves.
"fuck, sorry--" one of them chuckles. you frown a little but try to smile, moving to shimmy past them.
"is that her?"
"who?"
"didn't ya hear? lieutenant bought her off some sort of fucked-up catalog. heard she's real expensive."
you whip around, your lip trembling, and your shoes squeak against the floor as you stare right at them. one of them is smiling from ear-to-ear, and the other is laughing to himself.
"where did you hear that?" you ask.
"everybody knows, love," he winks. "so how much is it for a night? maybe we can do a group rate."
"e-excuse me?" you whisper, and he leans his arm against the wall, trapping you there.
"we heard all about the...program. thought maybe if we asked real nice, maybe we'd even get a discount."
"i don't know what you're talking about," you spit at him. "whatever you think this is, you're wrong. now get out of my way--"
"how much? how much did he fucking pay?"
"oh, mate--mate, you have to stop--" his friend tries to warn him, smacking him on the shoulder, but he glares down at you still, in your face, accusatory.
his face goes from smug to absolutely terrified when he's grabbed from behind. the hand that cages you against the wall is gripped by a gloved hand, twisted at an unnatural angle, and you flinch a little at the sound of his wail when his arm follows it's motion and a sickening pop echoes in the hallway.
his screams are suddenly drowned out by the cheering from the football game. someone scored maybe, but the man underneath simon screams, too, terrified as your husband mounts him like a fucking horse and slams his face against the floor.
it's like watching an artist. he paints his surroundings in flecks of red, the occasional clatter of a tooth falling at their feet, and you tilt your head to the side as you watch simon fist that man's hair and makes him eat whatever that floor is made of. he's in agony--that much is clear, from the way he shakes to the terrified look in his eyes, the pleading he sends your way as he asks for mercy.
when simon lets him go, he collapses onto the ground in a fit of bloody coughs and groans. his arm hangs from his shoulder limply (surely it's been pulled out of its socket), and his face is unrecognizable. you think his eyes were blue, but you can't tell anymore. they're red now, pupils blown wide, and he keeps moaning between broken teeth, "didn't mean it...i'm sorry...i'm sorry..."
simon kneels, leaning over him, and he grips the front of his uniform and pulls him up to sit, making him cry out from the pain. he tilts his head to the side, narrowing his eyes, and he drops his voice low.
"dunno where ya heard all tha' shit," simon mutters. "ain't true."
"n-no, sir--"
"i didn't say you could fuckin' talk," simon continues. "and if ya do again, i'll make sure ya can't." when he says nothing, simon tsks. "maybe ya wish ya could even afford my wife, mate. but ya can't." he tugs him a little closer. "'m gonna make ya an example. 'm not done with you. you are going to eat a fuckin' bullet from me, mate, but it won't be today. it'll be someday." simon presses his masked mouth to his ear. "but if i hear anyone else repeat wot you said 'ere today, i'll do it sooner. and you should know better than t'run...because i will find ya. wherever ya go." simon jostles him, and you swallow as he cries, trying to pull away, "now say thank you t'my wife. say thank you, because if she wasn't 'ere, i'd put my fuckin' boot in yer mouth--say it!"
"thank you! thank you!"
you simply blink as simon lets him go finally, standing, and as he walks past you, he grabs your hand roughly in his and starts to walk. you look over your shoulder as he tugs you along, and when you look back, you intertwine your fingers with his.
when the door closes behind him, simon slumps in his chair. he grips his mask from the back of the neck and pulls it off, burying his face in his hands. you set your bag down and kneel in front of him, putting your hands over his.
"simon--"
"wot the fuck is wrong with me?"
"simon--"
"i-in...i...i fuckin' lost it--"
you pull his hands off his face gently, cupping his cheeks. the eye-black smears a little around his eyes. there are no tears, but his eyes are watery as he stares into yours. his hands are shaking, and he palms his thighs to keep them steady.
"it's okay, simon," you whisper.
"i didn't want you to see me tha' way," he shakes his head. "violent. aggressive. fuck, i must've terrified you--"
"i'm not scared," you say softly. you smooth your thumbs under his eyes. "no one...no one's ever done anything like that for me before." you meet his eyes, and he leans a little more into your hands, bending low to get closer to you. "maybe he deserved it."
"i would...i would never--"
"shhh," you quiet him gently, shaking your head. "i know. i'm not scared of you."
you lean up, putting your hands on his knees and getting up just enough to get into his lap. you close your eyes as you kiss him softly, hugging him close, soothing him with a soft hand on the back of his head.
"you didn't do anything wrong, simon..."
"it's okay, baby..."
"i love you."
you know it isn't true. you're lying, somewhat, but it doesn't feel like a lie because it feels good. sick of being smaller, sick of being stepped on, sick of letting other people not be held accountable for the things that they do.
just this once maybe, you can let someone bleed. for misunderstanding you. for judging you. for not realizing there is a thing attached to you that bites and tears apart.
the world is a terrible place. and maybe you are simply just owed.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#order up
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──── see me, see me not
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ synopsis. in which kinich takes his headwear off, and puts it on you (in a different way)
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ pairings. kinich x gn!afab!reader,!!NSFW CONTENT AHEAD!!
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ director's notice. i have a feeling he would not gonna lie :pray:
"p- please.. kin- t'fast.." is all you could whimper out as kinich swallowed at the sight of your pretty body being used- slamming himself into your red, puffy hole from behind. each heavenly thrust only making you throw your head back in everlasting pleasure
both your breathy moans filled the space you both stayed in- kinich who just groans your name, the red bow-like marks made from his nails as he left a breathy gasp, almost like catching his breath still. his stares at how well your entrance took him drove him frantic.
"oh f-fffuck.." is all you could hear, kinich's headwear comfortably over your eyes— the beads of sweat on both your forehead's scent only brimming the room. feeling a pair of two fingers come to your mouth- "suck." a raspy voice emits from behind you.
kinich who overhears mualani stepping into the lobby outside the small room he unconveniently chose. "kinich! where are you?!" is heard visibly throughout the halls as he holds your hips close, pushing you up against the wall from your previous position of simply bending over and taking his cock :o
"quiet, baby." is all you hear, kinich who still won't take the blindfold off of your eyes, yet he just oh-so accidently grinds his cock against your g-spot. his fingers in your mouth, as you bite down on them a little as he tries to keep your volume to a minimum while still giving you as much pleasure as possible.
your heart raced as mualani reached for the knob of the door before someone from outside called her for help, making her leave effectively. kinich who loved the adrenaline of almost being caught, only letting the moans escape your glossy lips as he finally released his fingers from your mouth— "ahh— shit sweetheart, that's right.. ssshitt..." he groaned from behind.
the way you start to clench around him with his merciless thrust keeping its pace, oh he's gonna cum in you. whining as you feel him changing the position again, this time to his favorite- missionary.
wherein he secures your thighs around his waist, his strength keeping you up on the wall, you can hear each little squelch, every little plop. "yeeaahh.. that's right, pretty." hearing your wails of pleasure, leaning down to mark you around your collarbone as he kept up the violent strikes, watching the way you fumble your hands anywhere you could, not being able to see what he was doing, you're so pretty, he wished you could see that for yourself.
"uhuh? ffuck.. yeah you gonna come baby?" his teasing tone into the shell of your ear, feeling his warm breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine, your hips quavered at his actions, you were already starting to see stars.
the way he hit you so raw, you feel as if you'll be snapped in half soon, his tight grip on your waist, and securing your legs to attach his torso, if he doesn't slow down you might just crack! the insane amount of stamina you gain after working as a hunter for so long definitely is a ton. drilling his cock into you, feeling every inch inside of you, every vein come in and out.
he huffs "shit you feel.. s' good pretty.. so fffuckin' good.." —you can smell every detail on him, the floral smell he always has on that he promises isn't on purpose, mixed with the moist, and musky scent of your swear (& his).
kinich, with a long groan, "just one more, baby.. just one moreee.." who's been saying that for the past 3 hours, but who can blame him when he just can't get enough of you. cumming inside you for about the fifth time already! who wouldn't cum with the way you clench down onto his cock with your velvety entrance, or the way you'd scratch at his back (after finally finding where he was), claw marks that looks of a beast. who wouldn't cum, seeing how much your entrance was talking to him, luring him in, so wet and ready for him, you were practically made for him, and his cock.
how many times has he emptied himself into you? can't count. how many times have you come on his dick alone? can't count either. how many hours has it been? stop asking me questions!
watching the way your back arched as you moaned out his name, the way you legs shivered, the intense heavenly feeling of getting to cum with you was more passionate than anything he's done in the past. he hadn't even realized the way your juices squirted everywhere!
"huh.. that's the first time i've seen you do that."
...
"wanna do that again?"
kinich weapon alert !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i have no resin sighh)
#──── resin: performances#──── resin: custom play#genshin drabbles#genshin headcanons#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact scenarios#genshin impact#genshin fanfic#genshin imagines#genshin fluff#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact x you#genshin impact smut#genshin smut#genshin x gn reader#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin x female reader#smut#kinich x reader smut#kinich x reader#x reader#cw sex#kinich x you
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apologies if u find this weird but it’s been on my mind for a while.. rotting my brain if u will.. jjk men being told by the others to keep it down while they AHEM fuck bc they could hear them😓
D★MN, KEEP IT DOWN !
featuring: fushiguro megumi. itadori yuuji. gojo satoru. geto suguru. (characters are all aged up)
NSFW MDNI. explicit themes under the cut!
n. nonnie sorry this took awhile. i rlly like your request but i was contemplating whether i should make it a full on filthy smut or not lmao (i chose the latter eventually). thanku for requesting thiis, was giggling the whole time and i do not find it weird at all bb, it’s quite funny actually XD
damn, keep it down will you?
you guys are too fucking loud!
ITADORI YUUJI
“was it really that loud?” in the hopes that someone outside the room might hear you, you shouted. “sorry about that! we were just really into it!” itadori added, a hint of playfulness in his tone.
your laughter bubbled up uncontrollably, blending with the lingering excitement in the air. "really babe? 'we were just really into it?'" you quoted him, unable to contain your amusement at his witty retort.
"we are, right?" itadori exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with passion as he continued to shove it slowly in your walls. “don’t say ya don’t enjoy when i make ya like this, baby.”
you nodded, unable to control your arousal as you let out faint whimpers. "ah, definitely, yuu.”
FUSHIGURO MEGUMI
your boyfriend's response was immediate, his tone tinged with irritation. "fuck off!" he retorted, frustration evident.
though you felt a twinge of embarrassment at getting caught, you couldn't help but laugh tensely at his boldness. "what?" he paused his pace and asked a question. you kept kissing him carelessly around his neck, saying, "no, don't stop," as he began to move slowly once again. "don’t be so mean, baby. focus on me."
his broad grin widened as he picked up the pace, having fun with those words. watching you act like a mess over him, megumi said, "mhmm, you don't need to say that."
"i'm totally focused on you."
GOJO SATORU
"guess we got carried away, darling,” gojo chuckled playfully. "seems like it," you agreed, feeling a rush of contentment wash over you. “i told you to keep it down, satoru.”
“hey, who’s the one moaning over my cock, baby?” he retorted, sometimes you felt like you wanted to slap that arrogant grin of his. “can’t put the blame on me like dat.”
“and who begged tremendously to let it in, huh?” you fire back a query, but he cuts you off as you feel it tearing your pussy even more deeply and forcefully.
you can't help but wail, "shit—ah, satoru," and feel his touch throughout your entire body, especially when he bit down the right spots. “keep it down? hell nah.”
“we’re just getting warmed up, darling.”
GETO SUGURU
"can't promise anything, but we'll try!" geto called back, a grin evident in his voice.
"will we though?" you inquired with a grin, as if it were impossible. geto returned your gaze, interlocking his hands once more as he bent down and kissed you on the lips. "that's why i said we can't promise anything, princess."
"but how else will the guys know we're having a good time?" he said, voice full of joyful mischief as he proceeded to work you through the sweet spot. dripping saliva as you sticked you tongue out and making a mess, unable to say anything since his cock has left your body speechless.
geto clearly understands your body, what it wants, and why it wants him.
"let me show ya how to make ya feel good, princess."
@uzurakis — rqs are open ^u^
#.writing#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#megumi fushiguro x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader#fushiguro megumi#megumi x you#megumi smut#megumi fushiguro#itadori yuuji x reader#itadori yuuji#itadori smut#itadori x reader#yuuji x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru smut#gojo smut#gojo satoru#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#geto smut#geto suguru smut#geto x you#gojo fluff#megumi fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff
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War Is Over
Lewis Hamilton x Rosberg!Reader
Summary: Lewis parks his car … right into his best friend-turned-nemesis’ little sister (and somehow reunites Brocedes in the process)
Warnings: descriptions of serious injury
Note: the fact that he not only won a race again but it was his home race … this calls for a Lewis Hamilton fic 🥹
The Monaco sun glints off sleek sports cars lining the streets as Lewis navigates his Mercedes through the winding roads. He’s running late for dinner with some sponsors and the traffic is only making things worse.
Lewis mutters under his breath, “Come on, come on. Just need to park this thing ...”
He spots an open space in front of the restaurant and starts to maneuver in, glancing at his watch. The ticking seconds only increase his frustration.
“Bloody hell, why is parking always such a nightmare here?”
Lewis throws the car into reverse, not bothering to look behind him. He’s done this a thousand times before. What could possibly go wrong?
The sickening thud comes a split second before he slams on the brakes. His heart leaps into his throat as he whips around, praying he just hit a trash bin or something.
But the crumpled form on the ground is undeniably human.
“Oh God, oh God, no ...” Lewis fumbles with his seatbelt, hands shaking as he bursts out of the car. “Please be okay, please be okay ...”
He drops to his knees beside the prone figure, a young woman with long hair obscuring her face. Blood is already pooling beneath her head.
“Miss? Can you hear me?” Lewis gently brushes the hair back, and his world stops.
It’s you. Nico’s little sister. The girl he’s known since she was in pigtails, cheering from the sidelines at their early karting races.
Lewis’ jaw drops open as the full horror of what he’s done sinks in. “Y/N? Oh God, Y/N, please wake up!”
He cradles your head, heedless of the blood staining his designer shirt. Your eyes remain closed, skin alarmingly pale.
“Someone call an ambulance!” Lewis shouts, his voice cracking with panic. “Please, somebody help!”
A crowd starts to gather, murmurs of shock and recognition rippling through them. Lewis barely notices, focused solely on your still form.
“Y/N, come on, open your eyes. Please, you have to be okay,” he pleads, gently patting your cheek. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you, I swear I didn’t mean to ...”
Your eyelids flutter, a soft groan escaping your lips. Lewis nearly sobs with relief.
“That’s it, that’s it. Can you hear me? It’s Lewis. You’re going to be alright.”
Your eyes open, unfocused and confused. “Lewis? What ... what happened?”
“Don’t try to move, okay? There was an accident. Help is on the way.”
You try to sit up, wincing in pain. “My head ...”
“Shh, just stay still. I’ve got you.” Lewis supports your shoulders, keeping you from moving too much.
“Did ... did you hit me with your car?” Your voice is small, disbelieving.
Lewis swallows hard. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t see you, I swear. God, Y/N, I would never ...”
You manage a weak smile. “Always knew you’d be the death of me, Hamilton.”
Despite everything, Lewis can’t help but chuckle. “Don’t joke about that. You scared me half to death.”
“Sorry to ruin your evening,” you mumble, eyes starting to drift closed again.
“Hey, hey, stay with me.” Lewis gently taps your cheek. “Keep those eyes open, okay? Talk to me.”
You force your eyes open. “About what?”
“Anything. Tell me ... tell me what you’re doing in Monaco. Are you visiting Nico?”
You shake your head slightly, then wince. “No, I ... I moved here. Got a job at the yacht club.”
“Really? That’s great. When did that happen?”
“Few months ago. Needed ... needed a change of scenery.”
Lewis nods, desperately trying to keep you engaged. “I get that. Monaco’s beautiful. Although the parking situation leaves something to be desired,” he adds wryly.
You manage a weak laugh, then grimace. “Ow. Don’t make me laugh.”
“Sorry, sorry.” Lewis glances around anxiously. “Where’s that damn ambulance?”
As if on cue, sirens wail in the distance. Lewis breathes a sigh of relief.
“Help’s coming, Y/N. Just hang on a little longer, okay?”
You nod slightly, eyes becoming unfocused again. “Lewis?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t tell Nico.”
Lewis’ heart clenches. “Y/N ...”
“Please. He’ll kill you. And then me. For being stupid enough to walk behind a car without looking.”
“This isn’t your fault,” Lewis insists. “I should have checked my mirrors. I was distracted, rushing ...”
You shake your head stubbornly. “Promise me. Don’t tell him.”
Lewis hesitates. “Y/N, I can’t just ...”
“Promise,” you repeat, gripping his arm with surprising strength.
Lewis sighs. “Okay, okay. I promise. But he’s going to find out eventually.”
“Let me handle it. When I’m not ... you know. Bleeding on the pavement.”
The ambulance pulls up, paramedics jumping out. Lewis reluctantly moves aside to let them work, hovering anxiously.
“Sir, can you tell us what happened?” One of the paramedics asks as they begin assessing your injuries.
Lewis runs a hand through his hair. “I ... I hit her with my car. I was backing up and didn’t see her. It was an accident, I swear.”
The paramedic nods, focused on taking your vitals. “Miss, can you tell me your name?”
“Y/N Rosberg,” you mumble.
The paramedic’s eyes widen slightly in recognition, but he remains professional. “Alright, Y/N. We’re going to get you to the hospital. Just try to stay still for me.”
As they prepare to move you onto a stretcher, Lewis steps forward. “Can I ride with her?”
The paramedic hesitates. “Are you family?”
“No, but I’m ... I’m responsible for this. Please, I need to make sure she’s okay.”
You reach out weakly, grasping Lewis’ hand. “Let him come. He’s ... he’s family.”
The paramedic nods. “Alright, but stay out of the way.”
As they load you into the ambulance, Lewis climbs in beside you, still holding your hand. The doors slam shut and the sirens wail as they speed towards the hospital.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Lewis says softly.
You give his hand a weak squeeze. “Couldn’t let you ... sulk all night. You’d probably ... crash into a street lamp next.”
Lewis chuckles despite himself. “There’s that Rosberg wit. You sound just like your brother sometimes.”
You grimace. “Don’t insult me when I’m down, Hamilton.”
The banter feels surreal given the circumstances, but Lewis is grateful for it. It keeps the crushing guilt at bay, if only for a moment.
“Y/N, I ...” he starts, then falters. “I don’t even know how to begin to apologize.”
You shake your head slightly. “Later. When everything ... stops spinning.”
Lewis nods, throat tight. He watches the paramedics work, feeling utterly helpless.
“Tell me something,” you murmur after a moment.
“What?”
“Anything. Distract me.”
Lewis thinks for a moment. “Did I ever tell you about the time Nico and I got lost in Ibiza?”
You manage a small smile. “No. Spill.”
As Lewis launches into the story, embellishing for comedic effect, he can’t help but marvel at your resilience. Here you are, cracking jokes and asking for stories while bleeding from a head wound he caused.
The guilt threatens to overwhelm him again, but he pushes it aside. Right now, keeping you conscious and calm is what matters. There will be time for apologies and recriminations later.
As the ambulance weaves through Monaco’s narrow streets, Lewis silently vows to make this right, whatever it takes. He may have destroyed his friendship with Nico, but he won’t let you pay the price for their rivalry.
The hospital looms ahead, and Lewis squeezes your hand. “We’re almost there, Y/N. You’re going to be okay. I promise.”
You meet his eyes, a flicker of something — trust? forgiveness? — passing between you. “I know,” you whisper. “I’ve got my guardian angel, after all. Even if he is a bit rubbish at parking.”
Lewis laughs, the sound catching in his throat. As they wheel you into the emergency room, he realizes with startling clarity that nothing will ever be the same after tonight.
But looking at your brave smile as the doctors surround you, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, that might not be such a bad thing.
***
The steady beep of the heart monitor fills the hushed hospital room. Lewis sits hunched in an uncomfortable chair beside your bed, his eyes never leaving your sleeping form. The stark white bandage wrapped around your head is a constant reminder of his guilt.
A nurse pops her head in. “Mr. Hamilton? There’s someone here to see-”
She’s cut off as Nico barges past her, his face a mask of fury. “You son of a bitch.“
Nico’s fist is already swinging towards Lewis’ face when a doctor in a white coat steps between them. “Gentlemen! This is a hospital, not a boxing ring!”
Nico’s momentum carries him forward, nearly stumbling into the doctor. He catches himself, chest heaving as he glares daggers at Lewis.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Nico snarls.
Lewis stands, hands raised placatingly. “Nico, I can explain-”
“Explain? Explain how you nearly killed my sister?” Nico’s voice rises, causing you to stir in the bed.
The doctor clears his throat. “Mr. Rosberg, I presume? I’m Dr. Moreau. Perhaps we should step outside to discuss your sister’s condition.”
Nico hesitates, clearly torn between getting information and pummeling Lewis. Finally, he nods curtly. “Fine. But this isn’t over, Hamilton.”
As they step into the hallway, Lewis sinks back into his chair, running a hand over his face. He glances at you, relieved to see you’ve settled back into sleep.
In the corridor, Dr. Moreau speaks in low, measured tones. “Mr. Rosberg, your sister suffered a severe concussion and a fractured skull. There was some internal bleeding, but we’ve managed to stabilize that.”
Nico’s knees go weak, and he leans against the wall for support. “Oh God ...”
“She also has three broken ribs, a fractured wrist, and various cuts and bruises,” the doctor continues. “Frankly, it’s a miracle she wasn’t more seriously injured. The impact could easily have been fatal.”
Nico slides down the wall, sitting heavily on the floor. “She ... she almost died?”
Dr. Moreau nods gravely. “It was touch and go for a while. But she’s young and strong. With time and proper care, we expect her to make a full recovery.”
Nico buries his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. After a moment, he looks up, eyes red-rimmed. “Can I see her?”
“Of course. But please, try to stay calm. She needs rest.”
Nico nods, pulling himself to his feet. He takes a deep breath before re-entering the room.
Lewis stands as Nico approaches the bed. “Nico, I-”
“Save it,” Nico snaps, but there’s less venom in his voice now. He gently takes your hand, his thumb tracing circles on your palm.
Your eyes flutter open. “Nico?” You mumble groggily.
“Hey, little sis,” Nico says softly, managing a weak smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I got hit by a car,” you deadpan.
Lewis winces, but Nico actually chuckles. “Well, your sense of humor is intact, at least.”
You try to sit up, grimacing in pain. Lewis and Nico both move to help, then freeze, glaring at each other.
You roll your eyes. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. Both of you, help me up. And then explain why you look ready to kill each other. Again.”
With their combined efforts, they manage to prop you up against the pillows. You look expectantly between them.
Nico breaks first. “How can you even ask that? He nearly killed you!”
“It was an accident,” you insist.
“An accident?” Nico scoffs. “He hit you with his car!”
“Which I’m pretty sure he didn’t do on purpose,” you retort. “Right, Lewis?”
Lewis nods emphatically. “God, no. Y/N, I swear, I never saw you. I was distracted, rushing ... but I would never intentionally hurt you. You have to believe that.”
Nico’s jaw clenches. “Maybe not intentionally. But your carelessness nearly cost my sister her life. How am I supposed to forgive that?”
“You don’t have to forgive me,” Lewis says quietly. “I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself. But Y/N is the one who was hurt. Shouldn’t it be her choice?”
You nod, wincing at the movement. “Exactly. And I choose to forgive you, Lewis. It was an accident. A stupid, awful accident, but still an accident.”
Nico shakes his head in disbelief. “Y/N, you can’t be serious. You’re lying in a hospital bed because of him!”
“And he’s been by my side ever since,” you counter. “He rode in the ambulance with me, held my hand through all the tests and scans. He’s barely left this room in hours.”
Lewis looks down, uncomfortable with the praise. “It was the least I could do.”
Nico runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. “That doesn’t change what happened.”
“No, it doesn’t,” you agree. “But it shows he cares. That he’s taking responsibility.”
“I’ll pay for all her medical expenses,” Lewis adds quickly. “And anything else she needs for her recovery. It’s the least I can do.”
Nico snorts. “You think you can just throw money at this and make it go away?”
“No!” Lewis insists. “I know nothing can undo what happened. But I want to help however I can.”
You reach out, grabbing both their hands. “Listen to me, both of you. I’m tired, I’m in pain, and I don’t have the energy for your macho posturing right now.”
They both have the grace to look ashamed.
“Nico, I love you, but you need to calm down,” you continue. “Lewis made a mistake, a big one. But he’s trying to make amends. And frankly, I need both of you right now. I can’t deal with you at each other’s throats on top of everything else.”
Nico’s expression softens. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just ... when I got that call, saying you were in the hospital ... I’ve never been so scared in my life.”
You squeeze his hand. “I know. But I’m okay. Or I will be. And having you two fighting isn’t going to help me get better any faster.”
Lewis clears his throat. “She’s right. Nico, I know you have every right to hate me right now. But can we please call a truce? For Y/N’s sake?”
Nico hesitates, clearly torn. Finally, he nods stiffly. “Fine. A truce. But only for Y/N.”
“Thank you,” you sigh, relaxing back against the pillows. “Now, can one of you please get me some water? And maybe sneak in some real food? I’m starving and the hospital jello isn’t cutting it.”
Lewis jumps up. “I’ll go. Nico, you stay with her. I’ll be right back.”
As Lewis hurries out, Nico settles into the chair beside your bed. “You sure you’re okay, little sis?”
You manage a small smile. “I’ve been better. But I’ve also been worse.”
Nico raises an eyebrow. “When have you been worse than having a cracked skull and broken ribs?”
“Remember when I was eight and fell out of that tree in the backyard?”
Nico chuckles. “God, I thought Mama was going to have a heart attack. You were so stubborn, insisting you could climb higher than me.”
“Still can,” you tease.
“Maybe hold off on the tree climbing for a while, yeah?”
You pretend to pout. “Spoilsport.”
The banter feels good, normal. For a moment, you can almost forget you’re in a hospital bed.
Nico’s expression turns serious. “Y/N, are you really okay with forgiving Lewis so easily? You don’t have to, you know. Not for my sake or anyone else’s.”
You sigh. “I know. And believe me, I’m not thrilled about the whole getting hit by a car thing. But Nico, you should have seen his face when he realized it was me. He was devastated.”
“He should be,” Nico grumbles.
“I’m not saying there won’t be consequences,” you continue. “But I don’t believe for a second he meant to hurt me. And holding onto anger isn’t going to help me heal any faster.”
Nico studies your face for a long moment. “When did you get so wise, little sister?”
You grin. “I’ve always been the smart one in the family. You were just too busy crashing karts to notice.”
Nico laughs, then sobers. “I was so scared, Y/N. When they called and said you were in the hospital ... all I could think was that I couldn’t lose you.”
You squeeze his hand. “Hey, you’re not getting rid of me that easily. It’ll take more than Lewis Hamilton’s terrible parking skills to take out a Rosberg.”
“Don’t joke about that,” Nico says, but he’s smiling.
Lewis returns then, arms laden with bags. “I wasn’t sure what you’d want, so I got a bit of everything. Sandwiches, fruit, some pasta salad ... oh, and chocolate. Lots of chocolate.”
You beam at him. “My hero.”
Nico rolls his eyes, but there’s less hostility in it now. “Is this really the time for sweets?”
Lewis grins sheepishly. “Hey, chocolate has healing properties. I read that somewhere.”
“Sounds like solid medical advice to me,” you chime in, already reaching for a candy bar.
As Lewis unpacks the food, a tentative peace settles over the room. It’s fragile, built on shared concern for you rather than any real reconciliation between the two men. But it’s a start.
You watch them, noting how they unconsciously mirror each other’s movements as they fuss over arranging the food on your tray. For all their differences, for all the bad blood between them, there’s still an underlying connection there. Years of friendship and rivalry can’t be erased so easily.
“You know,” you say around a mouthful of sandwich, “this whole arch-enemies thing you two have going on is getting a bit old.”
They both look at you, startled.
“I mean, come on,” you continue. “You were best friends for years. You’ve known each other longer than most marriages last. Is it really worth throwing all that away over some stupid trophies?”
Nico frowns. “Y/N, it’s more complicated than that-”
“Is it, though?” You interrupt. “Because from where I’m sitting — or laying, I guess — it seems pretty simple. You both love racing. You’re both insanely competitive. And yeah, sometimes that caused friction. But at the end of the day, who else understands what you have been through better than each other?”
Lewis and Nico exchange uncomfortable glances.
“I’m not saying you have to be best buddies again,” you add. “But maybe ... I don’t know. Maybe you could try not actively hating each other? For my sake, if nothing else. I’m going to need both of you while I recover and I really don’t want to deal with World War III breaking out in my hospital room.”
There’s a long moment of silence. Finally, Lewis speaks up.
“She’s right,” he says quietly. “Nico, I know things have been ... difficult between us. And I know this situation hasn’t helped. But Y/N’s important to both of us. Can we at least try to be civil? For her?”
Nico hesitates, then nods slowly. “I suppose we can try. But Lewis, I swear, if anything like this ever happens again-”
“It won’t,” Lewis says firmly. “I promise you, Nico. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”
You beam at them both. “See? Was that so hard? Now, who’s going to help me eat all this food? Doctor’s orders, you know. Got to keep my strength up.”
As they both reach for the tray, playfully battling over who gets to hand you what, you can’t help but smile. It’s not perfect, not by a long shot. But it’s a beginning.
And really, you think as you watch the two most important men in your life grudgingly share a bag of crisps, sometimes beginnings are the best part of any story.
***
f1-fanatic-2024
[Image: Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg exiting a hospital, walking side by side]
OMG IS THIS REAL??? Brocedes spotted together??? What year is it???
#what is happening #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes
---
brocedes-no1-stan
[reblogging f1-fanatic-2024’s post]
I’m sorry, but are we just going to ignore the fact that they’re leaving a HOSPITAL??? Is everyone okay???
#concerned #hope everyone’s alright #but also lowkey excited
---
vintage-f1-vibes
Okay but why does this feel like a glitch in the matrix? Haven’t seen these two willingly in the same frame since like 2016 😭
#blast from the past #what year is it #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg
---
racing-queen-93
[reblogging f1-fanatic-2024’s post]
BROCEDES RISE!!! 🙌🙌🙌
My 2014 heart is SOARING right now. Never thought I’d see the day. BRB, gonna go cry in a corner.
#i’m not crying you’re crying #brocedes #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #f1
---
silverarrows4ever
[Image set: Multiple angles of Lewis and Nico leaving the hospital, including one where they appear to be mid-conversation]
New Brocedes content in 2024? Maybe miracles do happen 😭
But seriously, hope everything’s okay. Weird to see them at a hospital.
#concerned but hopeful #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #f1 #brocedes
---
formula1-history-nerd
[reblogging silverarrows4ever’s post]
Okay, but can we talk about how neither of them has aged a day??? What kind of vampire magic-
#aging like fine wine #drop the skincare routine boys #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg
---
racingdaydreams
Me: I’m over Brocedes, that ship has sailed
Also me seeing these pics: 🥺👉👈
#i’m weak okay #f1 #brocedes #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg
---
fastcarsgovroomvroom
[reblogging f1-fanatic-2024’s post]
Everyone freaking out about Brocedes and I’m just wondering why they’re at a hospital??? Hope everyone’s okay!
#f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg
---
f1-drama-central
BREAKING: Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg spotted leaving Princess Grace Hospital together. Sources say they arrived separately but left at the same time, engaging in what appeared to be civil conversation. More updates as the story develops!
#breaking news #what’s the tea #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg
---
retro-racing-vibes
[reblogging f1-drama-central’s post]
2014 me is SCREAMING right now. 2024 me is cautiously optimistic but also kind of worried because ... hospital?
#conflicted feelings #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes
---
formulaonefanatic
[Image: Close-up of Lewis and Nico talking, both with serious expressions]
Whatever brought them together, it looks serious. Hoping everyone’s okay. But also ... is it wrong that I’m a little excited to see them talking again?
#concerned but intrigued #brocedes #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg
***
f1-gossip-central
[Image set: Lewis, Nico, and Y/N on Lewis’ yacht. Another photo of Lewis kissing Y/N with Nico cringing in the background]
WHAT IS HAPPENING??? Lewis and Nico on the same boat??? Lewis kissing Nico’s sister??? I need answers!!!
#what timeline is this #i’m shook #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #y/n rosberg
---
brocedes-ride-or-die
[reblogging f1-gossip-central’s post]
EXCUSE ME??? Lewis and Y/N??? When did this happen??? How did I miss this??? 😱😱😱
#new ship alert #what is happening #f1 #lewis hamilton #y/n rosberg
---
vintage-f1-drama
Okay but Nico’s face in that last pic is sending me 💀💀💀 Big protective brother energy
#siblings be like #f1 #nico rosberg #lewis hamilton #y/n rosberg
---
formulaoneobsessed
[Image: Close-up of Lewis kissing Y/N]
New F1 power couple alert? 👀 But also, how is Nico okay with this?
#f1 #lewis hamilton #y/n rosberg #nico rosberg
---
racingheartstrings
[reblogging formulaoneobsessed’s post]
I can’t decide if this is the best or worst plot twist of the 2024 season 😂
Either way, I’m here for the drama!
#pass the popcorn #f1 #lewis hamilton #y/n rosberg #nico rosberg
---
silverarrowsforever
[Image set: Lewis and Nico chatting on the yacht, looking relaxed]
Can we talk about how this is the most relaxed we’ve seen these two together in YEARS??? Whatever’s happening, it seems to be healing old wounds and I’m here for it 🙌
#f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes
---
f1-fanfiction-addict
Me: furiously rewriting all my Brocedes fics to include Y/N
The plot twist we never saw coming 😅
#f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #y/n rosberg #fanfiction problems
---
speed-queen-101
[reblogging f1-gossip-central’s post]
Y’all are focused on the Lewis and Y/N kiss but can we appreciate how GOOD everyone looks??? That Monaco sun is doing wonders 😍
#glow up #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #y/n rosberg
---
formula1-history-buff
Imagine telling someone in 2016 that in 2024, Lewis would be dating Nico’s sister and they’d all be hanging out on Lewis’ yacht. They’d think you were crazy!
#how times change #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #y/n rosberg
---
racingdaydreams
[Image: Nico’s cringing face as Lewis kisses Y/N]
Tag yourself, I’m Nico 😂
#third wheel vibes #f1 #nico rosberg #lewis hamilton #y/n rosberg
---
fastcarsgovroomvroom
[reblogging racingdaydreams’ post]
Petition for a reality show following this trio because I would watch the HECK out of that
#make it happen netflix #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #y/n rosberg
---
f1-drama-queen
THEORY TIME: What if the hospital visit from last week was for Y/N??? And that’s what brought Lewis and Nico back together??? 🤔
#conspiracy theory #but makes sense #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #y/n rosberg
---
brocedes-forever
[Image set: Lewis and Nico laughing together on the yacht]
My Brocedes heart is THRIVING right now. Yeah, the Lewis and Y/N thing is cute, but look at these two 😭❤️
#f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes #friendship goals
#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#lewis hamilton#lh44#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x you#lewis hamilton fic#lewis hamilton fluff#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton blurb#brocedes#f1 fluff#f1 blurb#f1 one shot#f1 x y/n#f1 drabble#f1 fandom#f1blr#f1 x female reader#lewis hamilton x y/n#lewis hamilton one shot#lewis hamilton fanfiction#british gp 2024
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Kurōo cheating on his s/o for his new manager but quickly falling out of love with her and she realizes so she quits as manager. But when he comes back to you he realizes you’re with someone else so he begs you to lie to him and say “I love you”.
Won’t You Lie to Me?
- the one in which Kuroo Tetsurou would do anything to hear the lies that stain your tongue
xFem! reader
Warning(s): cheating! angst, lots of tears, reader doesn't want Kuroo's touch in the last part, read with caution this was a painful write but I love angst soooo
---------------------------------------------
If you could go back in time, you wonder if you would take the detour to stop by your boyfriend’s volleyball practice again. It’s a bitter afterthought really, an afterthought to the scene before you.
She yelped, manager tracksuit zipping up quickly in the process as one of her hands flies to her hair, attempting to smooth down the mess of it as if it would magically fall back into place.
But you're not staring at her. How could you? Why stare at her when the raven-haired boy standing behind her with a slackened jaw and crumpled t-shirt was just such an interesting sight to see?
"Someone's hard at work." your tone is sarcastic, but the slight crack in the tinge of your words is enough for Kuroo to take a step towards you, watching the light fade from your eyes as the cowering manager of their team stares like you're a bomb about to explode.
"Y/N-"
"Don't."
Your reaction is mild and tame, simply tilting your head to the side as you don't break eye contact with him. It was a silly high school love story to begin with, perhaps one of those where happy endings don't exist and things are too good to be true.
If you knew that, then why does it feel like every inch of you won't stop trembling?
"Go to hell, Tetsurou." But he knows. He sees it in your eyes, the finality in your tone that sealed things in place. He knows you mean it. He knows you never say things you don't mean, the same way he knows things will never ever be what they once were.
So why can't he will his legs to move towards you?
Instead, dark eyes watch you hang your head with a heavy sigh, as if you were suddenly exhausted before shoving something in the manager's hands, ignoring the yelp that left her swollen lips.
"It's for the headache he claimed he had." Your voice was monotone as you refused to lift your gaze. "He's your problem now."
"Y/N."
It almost broke you. Almost. The gentleness in his tone, the way in which a shaky hand lifted towards you, but you simply took a step back. Staring down at the manager you once called a friend, you giggle humorlessly before simply turning on your heel and walking away.
"She's so calm about it, Tetsu-kun." The manager sniffed at your absence, trying to put a hand on one of his broad shoulders. "She must have never loved you, I told you so."
But Kuroo knew better. He wasn't sure why he gave in. He wasn't sure why for a second he believed what Yue was saying before she came onto him, not denying her when she advanced. Something about your plans to break up with him? Something about how you had giggled to Yue about how you were planning on leaving him for someone better?
He can't recall why or what was said. All he knows is as he's watching you, he strangely feels quite empty inside. This must mean he doesn't have any outright feelings for you anymore, right?
If he isn't hurting when he watches you go, isn't this for the best?
He's lost in his thoughts when the gym doors come to a tight shut, your knees hitting the soft grass outside as your legs give out from underneath you, a silent wail wracking your whole body as your heart splits into pieces, taking the form of salty tears that slide down your cheeks.
--
Kuroo Tetsurou still isn't really feeling much of anything.
He didn't feel much when he told Yue he still didn't want to be with her despite the deceptive steps taken. Not when she slapped him across the face. Not when Kenma had eyed him with a look of pure disgust with a sharp warning not to speak to him for the next couple days.
The only twinge he felt was when you handed in your resignation as manager, the gym an eerie quiet before the first years hug you tightly, teary-eyed as they exclaim that they didn't want you to go but they understand. Yaku glared at him the whole time, but Kuroo kept setting up the net as the first years tackle you in their last couple of embraces, glancing your way as you stroke their hair lovingly and explain you'll still find the time to hang out.
Kuroo was waiting for you to be on your way, out the door to catch you and say one last thing-
"Y/N, you have to know I'm so-"
"Sorry." Your voice is a little breathless, like you just had the wind knocked out of you. "But let's not, okay Tets-" You catch yourself, inhaling a shaky breath before managing a small smile.
"Okay, Kuroo? I'm happy being strangers. I don't hate you, okay?"
Your shoulder taps his as you stride past, a finality in your footsteps.
"I just wish we never met."
Kuroo stands there, a single emotion stirring in his chest as his gaze stares straight ahead, his shoulder on fire from where you had gently grazed it.
Confusion. Confusion swirls in his chest as his eyes brim with unshed tears he can't exactly match an emotion to.
--
A couple weeks pass...maybe a month or two? But the raven-haired third year doesn't even notice it. He goes through the motions of school and club activities, his team eventually having to slowly begin speaking to him again as preliminaries near the corner.
Kenma taps his head against the doorway of his room, staring at him blankly.
"Hey cheater."
"Funny." But Kuroo isn't laughing, sitting up in bed to eye him with an even stare. Kenma doesn't like the look in his eyes, the usual sarcastic and confident glint in his irises and smile nowhere to be seen. "What's up."
Kenma shrugs, taking a comfortable seat on the floor before pulling out his handheld device, Kuroo blinking once in surprise before laying back down in bed, listening to the click of the buttons and the movements of the joystick.
The cat-eyed boy glances at him, looking back down at his device before taking something out of his pocket and placing it on the end of his bed.
"Y/N wanted me to return this to you."
Kuroo eyes the red scarf at the end of the bed, Kenma focusing on the next level of his game before he sits up again to examine the fluffy fabric, the characters for Nekoma High School on the corner of one end.
His chest seems to twist.
"Don't be a brat, Y/N, it's cold out here."
"What if you get sick, idiot?"
""Stop calling your best friend an idiot! You're the worst, you know."
"Don't kid yourself. Kenma's my best friend."
A lump forms in his throat.
"Fine, whatever." Kuroo had smirked down at you from his towering height, wrapping the scarf around your neck despite your wishes as you eyed him weirdly. He leans down to your height, his eyes twinkling with something you can't pinpoint.
"I don't wanna be just your best friend anyway."
You glare at him a little, tip of your nose colored from the cold before standing on your toes to lean up and kiss him, smiling as your bag hits the snow beneath you, your arms wrapped tightly around his neck as the first snow falls around you.
"Promise me." Your sweet voice is hushed, eyes staring at him brimmed with straight adoration as you cup his cold cheeks, Kuroo's onyx eyes holding yours carefully.
"Let's go see next year's first snowfall together."
"Cheesy." Kuroo's grin is cocky as you swat his chest in slight embarrassment, but he grabs your hand anyways, stopping your attacks before leaning a little closer to your face, so close your breaths are mingling. His fingers are touching the scarf wrapped so carefully around your pretty neck, stroking your cheek with a gentleness you didn't know he possessed.
"We'll get a front row seat, kitten, don't worry your pretty little head about it."
"Tetsu?"
"Hm?"
You smiled, snow in your hair as you kissed him again.
Kuroo Tetsurou could now feel again.
"I love you."
And it was his heart absolutely breaking as regret fills the beginning of the onslaught of tears.
Kenma looks up, eyes widening a fraction as his childhood friend hunches over the now clenched red scarf, his body trembling as sob after sob pours out of him, the fabric smelling of you as he holds it close to his seemingly irreparable heart.
No, it wasn't that he couldn't feel.
His body was numb and in shock with the loss of you.
--
Kuroo Tetsurou wasn't a complete idiot.
He knew the damage done was nearly permanent. There would be no fixing things, the "nearly" part of that statement lingering on the sense of false hope he had that you would at least begin talking to him.
Strangely enough, it wasn't that difficult. You began nodding to at least acknowledge his existence when dropping off a packaged treats at practice. You even began saying hello when he was with Kenma, Kuroo only being able to manage an awkward greeting back before watching you walk off with a longing in his eyes.
"Doesn't Y/N-senpai seem so much brighter these days?" Inuoka slurps his yogurt pouch, brightening up as he mentions your name. He finishes tying his shoes, stretching out his arms overhead with a careless yawn.
"Maybe she's seeing someone new."
Kuroo misses a spike, chest heavy as the first year looks up at his captain, startled.
"Relax." Kenma scolds him, not missing a beat. "It's probably not true."
Yeah.
Kuroo jogs back to center court, watching Kenma's fingers set the ball up perfectly.
It's probably not true.
He misses the spike again.
--
"After we win this, I'm going to ask Y/N for another chance."
Kenma doesn't look surprised, eyeing Kuroo seriously before releasing a heavy sigh.
"Kuroo, you should really know that-"
"Oi. Get a move on, you two, this is the last preliminary match before the qualifying match to Nationals." Yaku cuts off the team's setter, Kenma groaning a little as Kuroo jogs ahead of him onto the court, Fukurodani waiting for them on the other side.
Kenma waves to you in the stands, and you smile, waving both hands in the air at the entire team as Kuroo's heart skips a beat.
That smile was still his, it has to be.
Bokuto greets his friend with a wide grin, slapping Kuroo on the back with a little less energy than usual as the two teams begin their warm ups, the two captains meeting once in awhile since the training camp.
"Hey hey Kuroo!" The owlish boy crosses his arms, smirking a little as the crate of balls gets rolled out onto the court. "You look great, better than I was expecting!"
"So you heard?" Kuroo sighs, a hand coming up to rest on the back of his neck. "about me and Y/N breaking up?"
"Hm? Oh, that too. I just thought it would've been a little weird seeing as she's dating Akaashi now and all."
What?
His hand freezes midair, voice caught in his throat by the huge lump that forms. Slowly, even though his body was screaming at him not to, he looks back up at the stands.
Akaashi had draped his jacket around your shoulders, slight smile on his lips as he seems to be immersed in conversation with you, Bokuto allowing him to run up real quick to see you before the match began. The setter's blue eyes were brimmed with so much adoration, the beginning sparks of new love evident between the two of you as you shyly nodded along to what he was saying.
Akaashi looks down at the court once before looking back at you, bringing your hand up to kiss once affectionately with a content smile on his face before placing a quick one on your cheek, jogging back down the stairs afterwards.
You don't know what to expect when you look back down at the court, warmth in your cheeks and chest with a foreign form of love you're not accustomed to yet. You want to meet Akaashi's eyes, cheer on Kenma and the Nekoma team, wave a greeting to Bokuto-
but the look of Kuroo's absolutely broken stare was not within the scope of your expectations.
Among the feelings Kuroo Tetsurou was learning how to feel again,
Panic was not one of them.
Panic is all he knows as the whistle blows in his ears, the game calling for someone to serve the first ball.
--
"Y/N."
"Kuroo." You say his name so easily, as if you're not the same person you were that day in the volleyball practice that never existed.
The one where he took your heart and completely discarded it.
"Where are the others-?"
"Washing up after the game." Kuroo can't meet your eyes, his head swimming with the things he rehearsed for hours on end, yet unable to communicate them.
"Oh." You say softly, and Kuroo hates it. He hates how you grow awkward and uncomfortable, like he wasn't the one kissing down your neck as you giggled for him to quit teasing. Like he wasn't your first love.
Like he didn't mean anything to you anymore.
"Y/N." Panic. Panic is what paints his voice as he steps closer to you, reaching an arm out to tug you into his chest, pretending like he doesn't feel you grow rigid at his touch. "Please."
"Let go, Kuroo." Your voice lost it's soft edge, void of emotion-
just like he used to be. You love him right?
"Say it."
"What-?"
"Won't you lie to me? Say that you love me, please say it."
False hope. He recognizes the next feeling when you shakily put your arms around him as well, your tears beginning to soak through his shirt.
Please say it.
"T-Tetsu." Your trembling in his hold. "I..I love you."
Confusion is next. He feels it when you break out of his hold, pushing him back abruptly with an ocean of emotions across your face, the feeling of holding him simply wrong.
Kuroo doesn't even know he's crying, not until your placing a careful hand on his cheek to swipe at his tears messily before laughing a little at the situation.
"Tetsu, let's put us in the past." Your voice is quiet, the air freezing as your warmth creates a slight puff from the contrast. "It's over for us now, don't you see? There's too much hurt-"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't go to him. Please, I love-"
"I won't lie to you again." The tone in your voice is gentle, Kuroo's breath stuck in his throat again as his eyes well up with fresh tears. "I don't feel the same anymore, you broke my heart first...why do I have to take responsibility for yours?"
Kuroo says nothing, another familiar feeling inching towards his chest.
"But look-" You point up at the sky, snow falling down almost mockingly for the first time this season, a sad smile on your lips and wet tears down your cheeks. "It's the first snowfall."
You've never looked more beautiful, with snow in your hair and warmth in your lips.
"You kept your promise."
You turn around after that, continuing to cry as you walk off to go find Akaashi to apologize for the lie you let stain your tongue as Kuroo falls to his knees, his skin numb from the cold-
but his chest isn't numb.
No, he knows this feeling. He knows this feeling a bit too well, the snow seeming to shower at his expense in a rueful manner as he stares at the dark swirl of the sky above.
Heartbreak.
--
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