#if you haven't read it you should it's so worth it
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listen, there was a 5 month period in 2023 where basically all my nutrient intake was via nutrient drinks like ensure and coffee that was half creamer (per my nutritionist) because i had a recurring bowel obstruction issue and i was more likely to keep liquid down than anything solid. as someone who has had food issues for the bulk of my life, to the point where the "joke" was that i hated eating (it was not a joke), living off nothing but nutrient slurry was the most miserable soul sucking thing i have ever gone thru
you do not want to do it on purpose
i bounced back FAR more interested in cooking and for the first time in my life i truly appreciate and enjoy eating. i dont fuck with food that doesnt taste good because its not worth the misery
if you dont know HOW to make food taste good (because it is a science, and not widely taught), there are a ton of books. i haven't read them yet but i have several of America's test kitchen's books in my tbr, recced by someone with similar food issues and described as basically a text based mythbusters for food. they get into the nitty gritty of why things work and how their previous attempts failed. good eats with alton brown (or basically anything with alton brown) is also a fantastic resource for learning the science of flavor
another thing to keep in mind is: what are you craving? often, if you have a specific craving, or if something specific tastes REALLY good, there's something in that food your body knows you need. i get midnight cravings for eggs and toast after i work out--the eggs have protien, "good" fats, and are great vessels for salt, and buttered toast has, again, fats and salts, plus easy to process carbs, which are all very important post work out. similarly, in the winter i tend to crave fruit. oranges, which i dont normally like, are the tastiest thing ever; i tend to naturally eat more fruit in summer because its cold and wet, but in the winter its less on my mind so i dont eat as much as i should and thus, end up eating four oranges hovering over the trash at 10pm when i should be in bed
so if something doesnt taste good and you dont know how to season it, the most basic thing you can do is ask: what are you craving? and incorporate the base flavoring of that thing to what youre eating (when it makes sense, ie salting ur veg when u want potato chips, or adding cheese if you want nachos idk) or just. eat that thing instead
Taste is the most important factor in nutrition.
Because you get the most nutrients from the foods you'll actually eat.
So add cheese, oil, spices, vinegar, sauces, etc. Try them roasted or sauteed or pureed, etc.
The actual secret to eating lots of fruits and veggies and other nutrient dense foods is:
Make them taste good. That's literally it.
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I really love the royal's au, and I love the percabeth's babies, I would love to read when they found out about Annabeth's first pregnancy because according to my numbers, the pregnancy and the wedding were at the same time hahahahaha
I was wondering if anyone was going to do the math! Yes, they get pregnant very quickly. The backstory to this is that, about a month before the formal wedding they are supposed to have, there's a bit of a public scandal (I'll probably write about this another time), and so to put down any notion from the government, their families, or the public that they shouldn't get married, Percy and Annabeth basically elope. They get married in a private chapel, with just Sally and Fred in attendance. They then abscond to Iceland for a mini-moon, before coming back to have the actual big ceremony. It's only after the big public ceremony that they announce they've actually been married for about a month.
So this fic takes place on their mini-moon in Iceland, and then jumps forward about a month and a half to their actual honeymoon in the Italian Rivera.
~
Percy might now be a member of the Swedish royal family, but he was not, by any means, used to Summers in the extreme north. The sun hadn't set in a month. His and Annabeth's room in the palace had blackout curtains, which helped a little, but his sleep schedule was wildly thrown off. Now in a small hotel in Iceland, hiding out from the rest of the world, he really was struggling to sleep.
He should be exhausted by all accounts. He went from scandal, to marriage, to his new wife riding him for all he was worth in just a few long days. They'd left the hotel once or twice, to see the hot springs and to eat the most delicious hot dog Percy had ever tried. But mostly, they'd been honeymooning.
Percy had finally drifted to sleep maybe an hour before Annabeth's alarm went off. Percy flailed wildly, trying to find her phone to shut it off.
"I got it," Annabeth mumbled. "I need to get up and take my birth control, I don't think I did yesterday," she said.
"Alright, when you're done, come back and cuddle," Percy said, trying to rediscover sleep with little success.
A minute later, she sat on the bed and shook him.
"What?" He asked, cracking his eyes open.
"I haven't taken my birth control in seven days," Annabeth said.
"Well, that's not ideal," Percy said. They'd had plenty of sex, none or it with condoms, and Percy was pretty sure he hadn't pulled out once.
"I have a morning after pill with me," Annabeth said, letting the statement hang in the air.
"Will it work at this point?" Percy asked.
"Maybe not, depends on if I've ovulated or not."
"Well, what do you want to do?"
Annabeth was quiet for a moment. "I mean, I usually take seven days of placebo pills anyway, and I haven't gotten pregnant before. So, odds are low anyway. No reason to worry. I mean, I just got my period, so it's probably fine."
"So ...?" Percy asked.
"So, I think I'm just going to restart the pills and not bother with the Plan B," she said.
"What if ..." Percy said, not sure how to feel about his question. He felt excited about it, but he didn't want to make Annabeth feel like he had any expectations.
"If I'm pregnant?" Annabeth asked with a smile. She laid back down next to him. "Well, that's your job isn't it? To help me populate our royal line?"
Percy nodded, and Annabeth slipped back under the covers.
When they woke a few hours later, Annabeth groaned. "I forgot to take it again!" Before finally, actually, taking the small pill for the first time all week.
~
Six weeks later ...
The Italian Rivera was idyllic. They'd been here for two weeks, and they had two more weeks of honeymoon scheduled. Nico had given them some recommendation for places to eat and things to do. But mostly, they stayed in the large house, or ventured outside to swim, walk, or bike. Percy had never been so relaxed.
Which is why he felt terrible for his poor wife, who was now in bed, her hand over her eyes, complaining that she felt nauseous. They'd ruled out the food -- Percy had eaten all the same things and felt fine. She wasn't feverish. And she probably wasn't hung over. They hadn't been drinking much, favoring other sins (although, he supposed, they weren't sins anymore, now that they were married. Well, except for the anal. That was probably still sinful.)
"I'm gonna be sick," Annabeth said suddenly, tumbling out of the bed and running towards the bathroom. Percy followed behind her, kneeling on the ground next to her as she got sick, holding her hair back.
"Should I get a doctor?" Percy asked, once Annabeth seemed past the worst of it. He handed her a glass of tap water.
Annabeth leaned back on her heels. She had her thinking face on.
"How many weeks has it been since Iceland?" She asked him.
Percy counted. "Six, give or take," he said. Annabeth nodded. Percy caught up to her thinking then. "Do you think--"
Her face was neutral, her hopes low. "I think we should get a pregnancy test," she said.
Percy was able to get one himself, leaving Annabeth in the bathroom of the home, still riding out some waves of ... sickness of an inconclusive origin.
They sat next to each other on the bed as the test worked.
"How would you feel if it was positive?" Percy asked.
"Really excited," Annabeth confessed.
"If it's not?" Percy asked.
"Disappointed but ..." She took his hands and looked at him. "I know we said we'd wait a year, or a few months at least, but I think, maybe, what if we got started sooner?"
Percy kissed her. Her mouth tasted like toothpaste and mouthwash. "I'd like that," he promised.
"It should be ready," Annabeth said, standing. They'd left it in the bathroom, so neither of them would be tempted to look before it was finished.
They covered their eyes and stumbled into the bathroom.
"Count of three?" Percy said.
"One... two... three ..." Annabeth said. Both of their eyes popped open and fixed on the drugstore test. Before Percy's brain could even really process the sight of the two dark blue lines, Annabeth was hugging him and crying.
Percy hugged her back, his eyes still staring at the test in disbelieving joy. "Oh, you are so pregnant," he said. There was no misreading the clearly crossed lines.
"We're going to have a baby!" Annabeth said with a sob, crying into his shoulder. Percy gave her a good squeeze and felt himself start to cry.
"We're having a baby," he said back.
~
The baby, of course, was also the heir to the Swedish throne, which meant a swift end to their honeymoon. The two packed up quick, and tried to make their return to Sweden as covert as possible, but word got out anyway.
"Daddy, I'm fine," Annabeth said to her father over the phone. Fred had called before they even left Italian airspace. "I just haven't been feeling well, and I want to see our doctor, instead of some random doctor in Italy."
They were waiting to make sure everything looked okay before they got Fred's hopes up, but as consequence, Annabeth was stressing her father out. They had considered not even telling him they were coming home so soon, but of course, if anyone was going to hear about Annabeth's movements, it would be her father. And if their staff didn't tell him, Twitter would.
A few random accounts had correctly predicted the reason for their return, but Percy didn't engage with any speculation.
"I'm going to the doctor as soon as we get back, and she should have answers for us. I'll call you as soon as I know," Annabeth promised.
When she hung up, Percy took her hand. "Do you think he'll be angry?" Percy asked.
"No, we were and are married. Even if we weren't, he'd be excited," Annabeth promised.
~
Percy and Annabeth went right from the airport to the doctor's office. Annabeth knew that if she saw her father, she'd tell him, and she wanted to be sure there was a baby before that happened.
The doctor warned that it might be too early for a heart beat, and that if they didn't hear one, it wasn't the end of the world. But Percy was sure Annabeth's kid would be tough and above average in every way. So of course there was already a heartbeat. And of course, both parents wept the moment it was heard.
"Everything looks good here," the doctor said, pointing to the spot in Annabeth's womb that was their baby. She had a heavy Swedish accent, but spoke in English so Percy could participate. "We count weeks from the end date of your last period, not when you think conception happened, so looks like you're about seven, maybe eight weeks along?" The doctor predicted.
"But I had a period six weeks ago?" Annabeth asked.
"That might have been implantation bleeding," the doctor speculated. Annabeth nodded as if she knew what that was, but Percy had never heard of it before.
"So, everything is okay?" Percy asked.
"Everything looks great so far," the doctor promised. "We'll keep doing periodic scans, of course." Then she ran through a list of things that were normal, things to get checked out, and emergencies. Percy listened closely to all of these, taking notes on his phone, as his wife's attention drifted away from the doctor's words and back towards the screen.
~
They left the appointment with three sheets of sonogram pictures: one for them, one to send to Sally in New York, and one for Fred, who was waiting for them the moment they walked through the door.
Annabeth's father said a few rapid things in Swedish to her. Percy could have sworn his hair was going whiter by the minute.
"Daddy, it's okay, I'm fine," she said. Fred seemed to see her face for the first time and registered their uncontrollable joy.
"Why did you come back early?" He asked then, switching to English for Percy.
Annabeth just reached into her purse and handed him the images. Fred seemed frozen as his brain processed what his daughter had handed him.
"I thought you and the government might prefer if I was back home while I'm pregnant with the country's heir," she said.
The moment her father started to cry, so did Annabeth. While he congratulated and hugged her, Percy glanced around, and saw Hugo standing there, also near tears it seemed. Percy realized that this man must have known Annabeth for a while. Percy smiled at him. He tried to tell him this is a secret, but he was pretty sure he said: "[You hold it secret.]" Close enough. Hugo nodded.
"So soon?" Fred asked, pulling away from her. And then he looked at Percy. "So soon?"
Annabeth just shrugged while Percy floundered looking for an excuse.
"We were already married when it happened," Annabeth confirmed.
"You were pregnant during the big wedding?" Fred asked.
Annabeth nodded. "Not that we knew yet. We came back as soon as we found out."
"I'm so happy for you two," Fred said with a smile, pulling Percy in for a hug. "Now, go get some rest. News of your shortened honeymoon has broken, and people will want answers."
"We don't want the public to know this early," Annabeth said.
"We'll figure out something to say," Fred promised. "But we can figure that out tomorrow."
Not that Percy would know the difference between today and tomorrow, since all the hours were still blending together into one long sunlight-filled day.
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LIONHEART / robb stark by @heartofmortis
TARYN BARATHEON AND ROBB STARK the queen and the king in the north
#game of thrones#a song of ice and fire#got#asoiaf#robb stark#robb stark x oc#robb stark x original character#taryn baratheon#oc#richard madden#lily james#cinderella 2015#cinderella#lionheart#lionheart is literally the best got fic ever created#hope is the best writer of the future generation and i am so glad to be her fan#tarynrobb#wolfstag#tarynrobb changed the trajectory of my life you guys like it's literally perfection#if you haven't read it you should it's so worth it#and if you don't read it appreciate it and love it i am going to appear under your bed tonight to haunt you#i am so serious the whole the great war series are masterpieces just like the courage of stars series for star wars#check them out as well or i am coming in your house truly#richard madden gif#robb stark gif#lily james gif#idk how to tag still
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Congrats, now all I'm going to be able to think about all day long is Chifeng-zun being stunned into silence by the sight of Meng Yao's braids, the same as if he had never left. His hand reaches out and clenches in mid-air, while Jin Guangyao stands shell-shocked and panicking, or blissfully oblivious to how Nie Mingjue's world is tilting on its axis. He could be mad, the rage that almost let him call the Unclean Realm home making Hensheng thrum: because what right does Nie Mingjue have to want him now, when he finally has a place he belongs? And why does want to quit it all for him?
Anyway, now you can share in my brain worms~
In that moment, something was communicated
unfortunately, neither knew exactly what it was
#i'm right there with you anon i'm constantly rotating these two in my head#mdzs#jin guangyao#nie mingjue#nieyao#jgy#nmj#perpetually obsessed with jgy's nie braids#''i am going to the effort of - every single day - doing up my hair in a way that directly reminds me of you. which very directly ties me t#you and your family. and then i am covering it up completely to ensure that no one - least of all you - will ever know they exist.#and then i'll take them out and do the exact same thing tomorrow. i hate you. i fear you. i want you dead. i will continue to do this.''#hi what does any of that MEAN#what does it MEAN meng yao???#and lord knows that nmj would never know. does jgy actually do it just for himself? if so what does that mean?#or did he do this with the INTENTION that nmj should ''accidentally'' see them? and if so what does THAT mean?#is this real? a ruse? if the latter how many layers deep does it go? is it worth figuring out? or is it easier just to get angry?#i feel so normal about it#what would he do if something dislodged his hat and nmj actually saw them? no idea but i want to read 100 fics with that premise#and see every possible permeation#my art#i'm not sure why i felt like going with this black and white style but i haven't done anything like this in years so it was fun#normally i do them with actual markers so this was honestly relaxing like easy mode
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I'm still thinking about how ashamed I was (and am) with being open about my pain because I am so young. It's so hard to feel worthy of having your pain taken seriously when the people around you insist that young bodies are always in pristine, untouched condition and that you must earn your pain through aging. Never is it considered that young people aren't lying or being a hypochondriac for expressing their pain.
Young people can be in life-altering pain. Young people can have debilitating pain. It doesn't matter what age it happens because pain doesn't discriminate. Complaining about pain and doing things to prevent needless pain aren't something you have to "earn" through aging.
If you want young people to be in less or lesser pain, then encourage them to do whatever they can to minimize it. Don't downplay what they're experiencing. Not everything is a lie, not every experience that is different than yours is exaggeration or deceit.
#disability#ableism#ableism tw#this is one of the big reasons i was ashamed of admitting when i am in pain#and it's one of the reasons i was ashamed to address the pain i have#and i'm angry about that actually! nobody should fear being labeled as essentially having munchausen syndrome because...#...'young people NEVER have pain or disabilities and you're a liar!'#i really do want to start addressing my pain because i know it's not normal but holy shit batman it can suck sometimes#i honestly like talking to my dad about this because he also has a lot of pain (moreso than i do now) but he actually TRIES to listen...#putting this in the disability tag but i still don't feel right about labeling my own pain as such...#...but i know so many people with disabling pain who would relate...#...maybe it's internalized ableism on my part or maybe i just want to be respectful of people with worse pain#this is me really just reflecting on m the fact that i haven't ever had an amazing body in a lot of ways (though i am lucky still)#i'm still thinking about having an emergency cane to help me get up when my pain is bad but idk if it's worth the investment#so if anybody reading this has suggestions (esp. for those with back pain)... please hook me up i will platonically love you forever
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youtube
see too many ppl still defending jdepp or running with the "mutual abuse" angle so here's a video presenting basically all the (publicly available btw! for anyone to be able to look up!) information on this case. Let it be known if you still support jdepp i am assuming you have never done a grain of research into this in your life and just ran with public opinion and misinformation
#amber heard#r.txt#debating on whether or not i should send my siblings this video bc they're a) pro-jdepp b) saying it was mutual abuse or c) don't know#whose side to be on anymore after previously being pro-jdepp. but like i'm convinced they haven't actually ever done any research to base#their opinions on bc once you know all of this it's pretty obvious that amber was the victim in the situation but i don't want to offend an#of them by implying they haven't done their research. which would also be rlly disappointing bc why are u saying shit abt this topic if you#haven't properly informed urself LIKE. just say u don't know in that case instead of just going with popular opinion no. 1 aka pro-jdepp or#popular opinion no.2 aka it was mutual abuse blah blah they were both toxic af blah blah. anyway it would be rlly random to just send them#the vid and they probably wouldn't even watch it bc it's 2 and a half or so hours long and i just KNOW they're gonna be like i am not gonna#waste my time on smth i don't care that much abt or whatever. maybe the eldest will watch if i send bc he's already someone who watches#videos even if they're long asf i think he doesn't have a problem with the runtime but it's likely they don't think it's worth investing#time into or that they don't care abt rich famous people that much that they'd watch 150 minutes of info abt said people but at the same#time he's most likely to be open to other opinions. the second eldest is SO not gonna watch the vid bc it's too long but even so there is#still a chance she might at least watch a little of the video bc she is the one that was pro-depp before but said she doesn't know anymore#now. the third eldest is probably least likely to watch bc again it's a long vid and i don't think he'd watch + idk if he's that open to#hearing abt a different side. like this isn't specifically a pro-heard video it's at its core a video documenting depp&heard's relationship#and giving you all the relevant information in an orderly put togethet easily overseeable way but bc the evidence so clearly speaks to ambe#being the victim it is essentially also pro-heard but that's bc IT'S SO EASY TO SEE THAT SHE WAS THE VICTIM IF U ACTUALLY PUT THE EFFORT IN#TO READ UP AND CONNECT THE DOTS IN THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE DOCUMENTS ARGHHHGGHH#anyway. maybe will send the video maybe not idk it does piss me off that they seem to have not put in research of their own before coming t#a conclusion abt this case and i want them to have the information and i also just want them to know where i'm coming from when i say i'm o#the sure opinion that amber was the victim in this case and that i HAVE done my research into this when the case was around and i'm not jus#talking out of my ass and being extremely feminist to a fault or wtvr ppl are saying#depp v heard#video#there is a pt 2 and 3 to this btw they're also good but pt 1 is the most information abt the case itself during the time they were together#while pt2 is more history of the hatred towards amber heard that was arouns since the beginning and jdepp's violence in life and love +#substance abuse issues and pt3 is more abt the most recent 2022 trial and why that was an unbalanced trial to begin with (jdepp literally#has an estimate of 150 million dollars at his disposal to use and amber heard has an estimate lf 500k. one of many unbalanced things in this#trial) & also discussing why so many ppl jumped on the hating amber heard bandwagon so readily. still both good vids that i'd recommend
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One of my favorite things about the worldbuilding in The Left Hand of Darkness is the "perverts" in Gethenian society—those who are permanently in one of the kemmer forms. The "normal" person on Gethen goes through a kemmer cycle with periods of somer, but that's not every Gethenian. People whose bodies don't work this way get treated with repulsion. Genly compares them to "homosexuals" in his society, and that comparison is really instructive. Gethenians may not have gender roles and identities the way we do, but they do have societal norms, including about bodies and sexuality. And those norms leave people out. They are imperfect and sometimes they are unfair. I think this is part of the point.
In subtle ways, this theme is woven throughout the book's descriptions of Gethenian cultures. To stick to sexuality, something similar can be said about the different norms surrounding incest on Gethen and the empathic treatment of Estraven's past relationship with Arek. There is no taboo about incest between siblings on Gethen, only on siblings vowing kemmering, but if a child is born of it, the parents have to separate (and it seems like Estraven is separated from Sorve because of this). The reason for including this element, in my reading, isn't to impose our own moral standards by "showing" that Estraven's relationship with Arek was "bad" (in fact, we learn fairly little about it, beyond that Estraven cared deeply for him.) Instead, I think it's partly to demonstrate the dissonance between Gethenian mores and our own, and unsettle both. Because, like Genly, we see Gethenian norms as strange, we can notice that they bring about particular situations and cause particular hurts. Even the custom of vowing kemmering monogamously for life, which sounds more familiar, is shown as double-edged. Estraven breaks a taboo by making his "false" vow to Ashe, but was trying to build a new life with Ashe really wrong?
These things are not 1:1 to any "real life" issue, but like everything else in this story, I think they're chosen because they are provocative. It's really meaningful to me that even in terms of gender and sexuality, Gethen isn't painted as a utopia, but as a real place. Le Guin shows us two sets of norms and asks us not just "are our norms arbitrary and/or constructed rather than essential truths?" but also "are norms always socially constructed? Should we question them sometimes? What harm is done to maintain them? Who is being left out?"
#the left hand of darkness#lhod#my posts#thank you alix jouissants for reading over this and aiding me to express more clearly <3 <3 <3#and idk i am obsessed with ''estraven the traitor'' being a name from folk legend. with the way the character who comes across most moral#and most thoughtful betrays the norms of patriotism and of prejudice against ''perverts''. vows twice and had a child with his sibling#it says something powerful i think about what is really important and more important about a person ultimately. character of all time.#this is not to say the normless utopia could/should exist or that the portrayal of gethenian cultures is wholly negative btw--not at all#constructed =/= useless or without power/meaning or completely arbitrary either#just it is such a thoughtful book. and it's saying so much on so many levels#obviously i haven't even touched here shifgrethor or suicide or the budding nationalism... and i don't have my copy on me.#maybe some of this seems obvious but it feels worth highlighting#edit: there's more to say about the sibling thing and ursula's logic in why a society that places different associations on sex might be#mainly concerned with avoiding kids born of those unions--but i'm thinking here about what we see of estraven's experience
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Finally took the wheelchair for a spin and I probably should have much sooner. The biggest difference I noticed was that my legs didn't hurt. Also that having my eyeline significantly lower didn't bother me as much as I thought it might. Biggest thing was being mindful of my turn radius. And remembering that I need to use the breaks when I'm not on carpet.
Went to the art store for the first time in years. Got some ink for refilling my brush pen. I want to use it more and I didn't want to have to fuck with the refill cartridges or worry about running out of ink. Preliminary testing looks promising, but it's going to be a while before it will actually need refilling. I'm going to try and spend some more time laying some ink down in my sketchbook.
#i think i reached 6 foot by like 12 years old or something i haven't been this short in a while#using my legs is so much worse#still kind of want to ramp it#I'd settle for going down a hill#i did some research and settled on trying rapidograph ink for the brush pen since they don't tell you what's in there.#it should be waterproof and as dark as i want while not clogging the fountain pen situation going on in the brush.#I've done some testing and it looks and behaves close enough to the ink already in the brush pen that i can't tell them apart#so that's great#i might do some comic adjacent artwork#comic strips is like where cartoon imagery came from more or less#i guess it makes sense I'd enjoy that sort of look#i should actually try and read Pogo sometime I've had my drawings compared to Walt Kelly before#seems like something worth being influenced by i know it's a good place to absorb technique#it's evaded me this far#except for that chuck jones special#and there was a stop motion adaptation of pogo for president that puzzled the hell out of me as a child for some reason#had no idea it was from a newspaper comic
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just amoria being simtimate 🌿
#BL:G3 outtakes#sim edit#simtimates#isn't she GORGEOUS#i can see why jorge is literally obsessed with his wife#the quality isn't the BEST but i think she shines anyway#okay this is where the sim related tags stop you should keep scrolling or read at your own risk !!#mention of body esteem issues ahead!!!#i haven't had a child like she has but i still struggle with my tummy poking out and my stretch lines#but then i look at her. she's a SIM. but she makes me feel so beautiful because SHE'S beautiful#it's really hard how harsh you can be on yourself?? you know?#i see people with my body type all the time and think they're so cute!#and for those momma's out there who have had kids and struggle with loving yourself: this is for you too!#you are AMAZING and ATTRACTIVE and WORTH EVERY LOVING GAZE#your body should be praised! it does and has done wonderful things#i've gone off on a tangent#but my point stands#MWAH#kisses.
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something that's getting me. people, looking at work others produce (regardless of if that work is provided for free or for some compensation, ie not you directly paying for it but the creator receiving ad revenue and such). is just being very... heartless about it? not thinking about the process, demanding constant improvement and see it as a failure when there isn't improvement, someone cannot call themselves and artist if they do not proceed, they are failed if they do not produce in a way that is more consumable or deemed more respectable.
#shitpost#im thinking about something very specific right now but#the point overall is a general one#and. vague. sorry if this reads weird im tired#but its just something that reads so heartlessly and THEN#theres ANOTHER LAYER of bringing this up in a context where you point out to a lot of other people#that. you see the creator this way (and so they should be seen that way)#just like. its skeeving me out#and i think this can be applied to like. smaller contexts as well. just a mindset of critique that i think is like#im like. if you dont like it. go find somethign else. someone has made this passion their life#and if you think that isn't worth it.............thats on you. if they find worth in their work and have an audience#even an audience of one person or NO audience. then like. its commendable.#to devote yourself to art#even if others see it as juvenile. even if they see the lack of progression as a point of failure#like. fuck OFF.#idk. im slowly starting to think that this sort of indie pov of critique like. should be done in isolation.#but that begs the question of how big should an artist be before you're allowed to critique in public#idk. its just mildly pissing me off#also the thing im vaguing. i haven't watched all of it and i wont. and i clicked around a bit#but not a single mention of this creator's best work.#like a whole series he made just not addressed at all.#a series that HAS artistic thought in it.#and what. it isn't worth even listing?#and like. judging the writing of an autobiography.... that was self published? just like. fuck off?
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14% of the way through....
#ok i can do like half an hour each day and then i'll finish on the weekend. good pace. we can do this#hopefully tomorrow i can do some reading at work. LMAO.#honestly my bottleneck (aside from my own focus/free time) is the rate at which people upload the main story recordings to youtube#youtube channel polar artem u are my hero. i love you. i hope you have a good day 366x this year#tot liveblog#wow i should translate something again... maybe i've improved (wishful thinking)#but it really has been a while and there are some things i said i would translate that i never did. lol#probably not a card tho (mainly since i haven't been reading the recent cards). maybe an extra thing like interview. i'll probably look for#some fan analyses since we got a main story chapter. idk tho i kinda wanna chew over word choice again. then again i get to be a bit looser#when translating discussion posts....#EDIT 2/12: post is still happening just. it takes so much focus to read two things at the same time aldsjfklsjlaskej#so much more tempting to read other VNs where i'm like. just reading normally. and not also trying to keep track of a plot spanning mult ye#years while simultaneously trying to consider the implications for characterization in the context of 2.5 years' worth of interaction#it's fine my relationship with tot content is totally normal and healthy and i absolutely do this voluntarily. for Fun#ok but DEF it'll be up by next weekend promise (bc i need to distract myself before dessert de otomate)
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As I've said before (and will continue to say), Miyazaki's adaptation of Howl's Moving Castle is a great movie on its own, but it has some major differences from the original story, and that's ok!!
I personally prefer Dianna Wynne Jones' book. I read it first, she was already one of my favorite authors when I found it, it's the first of a series, and I just like it better. Howell is a disaster of a human and Sophie really needed to learn to see her own worth in the beginning. That stays, for the most part, the same.
I remember reading that the books are seen from Sophie's point of view and the movie could be viewed more from Howl's perspective.
Most of the characters are close to, if not the same as, their original characterization. You'll never get the full measure of a character in a movie because it is limited by multiple factors including runtime and ways to convey what a character is thinking without disrupting the visual story.
So sure, some of my favorite bits didn't make it to the movie. You don't get to find out about Howell's sister or niece or what actually happened with the Witch of the Waste, or much about Sophie's sisters and family.
But you could read the book yourself and find all those delightful little bits. You could read the sequel and even the book after that if you want more of them. You could check out DWJ's other books like Dark Lord of Derkholm or Chrestomanci, all of which lead to more stories in their series.
I would say that the movie has a different sort of magic to it. It has a couple changes that make it a better story for some people and it is a wonderful stand-alone. It has more emphasis on certain themes than the original work, but they are both great stories and worth experiencing.
You can even find an interview that's been posted online of DWJ about the movie if you want to learn her favorite scene and thoughts. I haven't watched the video (just read a summary) since I am posting this at 5 something in the morning.
ghibli failed to adapt this
#howls moving castle#hmc#dianna wynne jones#studio ghibli#movie adaptation#sorry if this has typos or isnt particularly coherent. i woke up at 4:40am with a stomachache and was distracting myself with tumblr#and i just love love love her books so every time i read someone finding out about HMC i have feelings#I've read the sequel and started the third book but got distracted by something or other#really recommend her other books. they're YA so they are good for almost all ages#i think the first book i read of here was the Lives of Christopher Chant and Witch Week#not gonna bother fixing typos in the tags I've been sick for going on five days and it's not worth it#basically you can sum this up as Both? Both are good. and if you havent read the book you should bc it's great.#and if you somehow haven't seen the movie. it's sweet and cute and a good story too so you should#idk what I'm saying anymore. books good. reading good. listen to the audiobooks if that's more your thing#rambling in the tags#i should reread some of her stuff soon
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#Say you can't deal with me no more Just say you don't want me I never know what you feel no more Just say you don't want me#It's been too much I've been on the side and I'm waiting Got a little time maybe all night if I'm patient What's on your mind?#I can never read you no I always leave you crying when we fight but I don't mean to yeah No no love don't come easy#Especially when you're loving me yeah It's never enough for the both of us so sorry Couldn't have known it would ever be this hard#We had it all but we lost and that's our fault I should be here waiting for you to answer my call no#But I'm never giving up on what I've been I been focusing on putting me first Still could never see you with somebody else#I can't even live with being by myself That's the part of me that really needs your help Lately#I haven't been doing very well#That's the difference between heaven and hell I feel heaven when you're here with me I feel hell every time you leave#But I need to get you off of my back I gotta get you off of my back Wish that we would never take it this far#Here we are going back and forth I hoped we would never make it this far But now I gotta find my worth Say you don't love me no more#Say you don't want me (Say you don't want me yeah) We don't gotta be no more If you really don't want me (We don't gotta be no more)#Said you can't deal with me no more Just say you don't want me (Just say you don't want me yeah) I never know what you feel no more#Just say you don't want me We don't gotta be we don't gotta be hey No more We don't gotta be no more no more no more no more no#le song shouting
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I've been reading some stuff on punitive justice, and it made something click for me that I've observed a lot online but haven't been able to put into words before.
When someone does something wrong, that's bad, and the damage it does needs to be repaired while the person needs to try to do better in future to minimize repeating harm. We learn it in preschool - say sorry, don't do it again. If they keep at it, remove them from the situation where they can do the harm until they prove they're responsible enough to go back in.
So if it turns out someone DIDN'T do anything wrong, that should be a relief! There's no damage to fix, no internal errors to correct. Less work for everybody, literally no harm done. False alarm, all good.
The thing I've observed is, lots of people want them to have done something wrong. There's almost disappointment when it turns out there's no harm done. And I think that's because of this general undercurrent of punitive justice as morally righteous and desirable: someone does something wrong, you get to punish them. Turns out they're innocent? That's disappointing. Find another reason you get to punish them, or find another bad person you get to punish. But at the core of it is that desire to punish someone. Someone you can hurt in a way that makes you a better person for hurting them.
This particular brand of almost cannibalistic pseudo-justice is super common in tumblr, one of the most ostensibly liberal spaces on the internet; I see more borderline savagery in online discourse here than in the actually toxic parts of the internet that are just openly cruel for cruelty's sake. It's always thrown me for a loop, and has frankly also hurt me, because on the rare occasions I get personally dogpiled, it only actually stings when it makes me worry that I've legitimately hurt someone. If I did something wrong, or more realistically when I inevitably do something wrong, that would make it good and right for people to give me shit about it every day until I'm dead.
The thing that clicked for me most recently was this bit in Ijeoma Oluo's Be A Revolution:
Punitive justice is specifically, uniquely appealing to people who have suffered injustices. Of course it's the Tumblr zeitgeist. Everyone here is a marginalized person failed by at least one system. Punishing someone for perceived injustice is how someone the system has deemed worthless proves their value in blood, even if the person being punished hasn't harmed you directly - even if they haven't harmed anyone. "Righteous" anger isn't about the target in these cases, it's about the inflicter. This is how much my pain is worth.
And that kind of violent validation is so alluring and so very dangerous. It seeks an outlet, wearing the justification of justice. Who's in reach? Who's an acceptable target this week? What's a good reason to use?
Is there anything they could do that would make me stop?
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Writing a fic when you're uninspired:
*writes half a sentence* *checks tumblr; no updates* *checks discord; all servers; no updates* *goes back to doc* *re-reads last three sentences* *removes last half sentence written* Hmm I want some tea ... *makes tea* *checks tumblr again; one new post* *checks discord; all servers; no updates* *checks four latest opened tabs* *remembers an old fandom you haven't thought of in years; goes to AO3 to see if there are any good fics for it* *opens three new fic tabs* *remembers that you're supposed to be writing* *writes a sentence* I'm kinda hungry ... *checks cupboards and fridge for snacks* *remembers that it's ten pm and you shouldn't snack at this hour* *remembers that you made tea; it is now cold* *drinks cold tea* *re-reads last three sentences* *checks tumblr; no updates* *checks discord; all servers; no updates* *in desperation, checks twitter; it is a cesspool of evil so you check tumblr again; one update* *reblog* Hmm, I have too many tabs open ... *opens a random tab; it is a 70K fic with 1K worth of tags that you last visited three months ago* *reads fic* Four hours later: ... I should go to bed. *closes doc* Total words written: 44
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SET ME ALIGHT AGAIN.
Cregan Stark x female!Targaryen!Reader (Part 2 here)
"It was on request of your younger brother's small council that Lord Cregan Stark agreed to take you to the North with him to prevent you from succumbing to grief like your aunt did. And now it's at his hands that the haze in your eyes is replaced by an emotion you haven't felt in so long, an emotion he’s giving back to you. And you let it flood you."
WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT—MDNI; p in v, oral (fem receiving), angst (?), breeding kink, size kink, size difference, romantic fucking in front of the fireplace, afab reader, post dance of the dragons
WORDS: 4.8 K
NOTES: I dedicate this to @sylasthegrim. You're not only one of the few people I really grew fond of in the short time we truly got to know each other, but since both our minds basically came down to the same idea, this is for you! Thanks for beta reading this. 💕
❗️𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
You’ve been in Winterfell for a moon’s turn by now, and have quickly noticed that the ancestral castle possesses a beauty and calmness the Red Keep can be jealous of. But even that isn’t enough to make you feel at home – as if you could ever call a place your home again. Not after you’ve witnessed almost everyone in your family, no matter whether you liked them or not, perish at the hands of each other.
It was on request of your younger brother, now dubbed King Aegon the third, or rather of his small council that Lord Cregan Stark agreed to take you to the North with him to prevent you from succumbing to grief like your aunt did. And while you’re grateful for the chance to flee the one place that has caused you more hurt than good, riding in a carriage up to the far North like a commoner wasn’t exactly pleasant.
But how else should you have gotten there when your precious mount died along its kind as the common people stormed the Dragonpit?
For the past month, you’ve very rarely seen the sun – or anyone else than your maids.
Your days are spent in your chambers, not leaving the safety of the Guest House as you often try to find the sleep you can’t seem to get at night. And during the night, when the Hour of the Owl strikes and no light other than that of the moon reaches Winterfell, one often finds you wandering the quiet halls of the castle. Sometimes one even spots you outside in the Godswood, regardless of the low temperatures that make the three pools fed by an underground hot spring look even more inviting.
But warmth and comfort are never what you’re after.
You feel incredibly daring tonight, sitting beneath the ancient weirwood tree on one of its roots. Although there is a thick fur coat draped around your frame, the thin nightgown beneath does not allow you to be kept as warm as one usually desires, your bare feet hidden inside of the coat not a big help either.
Tiptoeing barefoot through the snow was the hardest part, but it was worth it as it gave you exactly what your body longs for.
You’re far too absorbed by the reflection of the moon dancing on the pool of black water beneath the tree, and the peaceful allure of the snow-covered night that you don’t notice you’re not alone anymore.
“Princess?” a husky voice rings out from the shadows, one you’d even recognize in a room full of loud and drunken men.
Almost as if he doesn’t want to startle you, the tall frame of the Lord of Winterfell approaches you without any sudden moves, becoming more visible with the moonlight shining down on him. “What are you doing out here this late?”
Only when he’s stopping not far away from you do you avert your eyes from him to the water again. “I could ask you the same, Lord Stark,” you reply softly.
A chuckle rumbles in his chest at your remark, and you can’t help the tint of heat hearing it brings to your cheeks. “Indeed you could,” he says. “I have not slept well, and the night has a peaceful allure. But you should not be out in the open without any guards, especially not this late at night.”
You drag your index finger through the snow at your side, drawing a mindless pattern in the dark as you do not pay any mind to his words. “And why is that, Lord Stark?” you ask, a certain snarkiness to your tone. “There is nothing worse that could happen to me than what I have already endured.”
Cregan sighs, and even in the dim light you can make out that he’s scratching his stubble covered chin. “And yet, should something else happen to you, I would not like myself for neglecting you and not protecting you just as I have sworn to the king,” he explains. “Besides, there is a cold chill in the air that I can not believe you are not feeling right now.”
“Perhaps that is the answer you’ve been looking for, my lord,” you mumble. “Perhaps I came here to feel something.”
The Wolf of the North doesn’t immediately answer you. Instead, there lingers a pause between you. But it’s not uncomfortable or feels as though it doesn't pass, no, you find yourself to actually enjoy his company.
His next words, however, even surprise you as you didn’t think he was capable of it. “Feeling the cold of the snow has its way to make one feel alive, that much is true,” he agrees, and then looks up to the dark sky. “You wish to feel something else than the pain of the absence of the people you’ve lost in this war, I understand… I think.”
His words make the feeling of emptiness, the hollowing ache of loss just worse, while at the same time, he seems to know the feeling of craving pain when you’re just so used to it.
“This cold bite, the chill that lingers on the skin — no one should want to feel it, Princess. It makes even my bones shake, do you know that? Surely you must be shivering, and we should be getting you inside. I should be getting you inside.”
You know he‘s right. While his words are blunt in nature, they are very much that of truth. You shouldn’t be out here, nor should you want to be out here. There‘s nothing to enjoy about this cold chill and the snow, not when you‘re as sparsely dressed as you are. You‘re not yet used to the chill of Winterfell, of the North.
Cregan offers you his hand, but you‘re still hesitant to take it. Albeit you reach out, your significantly smaller hand hovers over his, not yet grabbing it. “You‘re not exactly wearing proper attire to be out in this wretched cold for very long,“ he remarks. “Let me help you get up, your feet must be in agony by now.“
“And what if I don‘t want to?“
“Then I will still get you up.“ There is a tinge of amusement in his voice now, seeing this little bit of rebelliousness from you, your strength of mind. Even if he doesn’t exactly approve of it. “I shall simply pick you up myself, throw you over my shoulder, and carry you inside to your chambers, even though I‘d get you quite angry and don‘t imagine you want me to do just that.“
You don’t believe he actually has the gumption to do something like that at first, although you know he’s able to muster a decent amount of strength that would easily allow him to lift you up. But then, you wonder if he would truly do it if challenged. “Try that, if you dare, my lord.”
He lets out a snort of amusement, enjoying the teasing that slowly shapes between you two. It still is a challenge, and as a man of his station, he could never let words like this go unspoken. “Oh, I dare, Princess.”
Putting forth his arm, he wraps his fingers around your wrist and easily pulls you forwards onto your feet without applying too much pressure. You’re certainly caught off guard by his actual willingness to lift you up, and a squeal escapes your lips before you’re tossed on his strong shoulder as if you are some silly, helpless girl.
Cregan carries you through the Godswood and towards the Guest House, though you don’t resist too much as you’re hanging there over his shoulder – a part of you is grateful you don’t have to walk through the snow with your bare feet once more.
“Lord Stark, put me down at once!” you demand with a little twinge of laughter in your voice. You feel so light, much lighter than you imagine he’s used to lifting up, almost as if it’s taken all of the pressure off your shoulders.
But when there doesn’t come an answer from him, you grow slightly frustrated. “What if anyone sees, you madman!” you remark, embarrassment warming your cheeks.
“Madman? That’s rich coming from the woman who was willing to freeze to death in the snow,” he says jokingly, approaching the large doors. “Who do you think could see us at this hour, princess? The rats? And what if they do? What if someone sees me carrying the poor princess, who had the gall to get out of her bed after midnight and wander the Godswood while in her nightgown?” Although there is amusement in his voice, you also notice the faintest hint of flirtation laced within. “Will they judge me for carrying her, or would they judge her for her imprudent midnight excursion?”
You stay silent thrown over his shoulder, not sure how to reply. You thought you had a good comeback, but it seems Cregan is one step ahead of you. The flirtatious teasing you’ve heard catches you off guard, not expecting to hear it from him at all. It makes your cheeks flush with even more embarrassment when you notice that he’s actually right. But you don’t want to admit the truth in what he’s said.
“You mock me, but you shall see there would be much scandal if someone were to see this,” you retort, trying to keep calm as you’re now a little bit flustered by these sudden developments. “Besides,” you say, trying to remain unbothered and nonchalant, “who says I won’t tell a tale of you being the imprudent one?”
“Ah, you little rascal,” Cregan replies with a chuckle, giving your thigh a tight squeeze. “I see you’d find a way to turn the tides and have it end up with me being the bad guy, taking my chances on a vulnerable woman in the guise of protecting her.”
You’re clearly enjoying the teasing a tad too much, enjoying these quick and witty back-to-backs with him, taking your mind off of your grief. Drawing in a deep breath, you hold onto Cregan’s thick coat. “What would you have been protecting me from, Lord Stark?” you ask with feigned innocence. “Were the trees too menacing that you just had to sweep me off my feet to carry me away from their clutches?”
“No, I am afraid it was not the trees that had me worried, Princess,” Cregan replies as he brings you further into the Guest House, easily opening the door to the sleeping quarters with one hand. “The cold was the greater menace, and it had you in its grasp.”
Your words die in your throat when he puts you down on your bed, the soft furs very welcomed beneath your cold feet. You look up at him with wide eyes and a heaving chest as he towers over your significantly smaller frame, and you wait for him to make the next move.
There’s a moment of silence between you, obviously he’s considering his next words.
And boy do they disappoint you. “I shall make sure a fire is lit for you to warm yourself, princess,” he says, turning around to approach the hearth on the other side of the room.
Cregan crouches down to build and start a small fire in the hearth that should last the night, not wanting you to stay too cold. But you wouldn’t be a thoroughbred dragon if it didn’t mean for you to take any risks. And so you get onto your cold feet, the coat still draped around your shoulders sliding down to the ground.
Feeling a bit too exposed too quickly, you grab one of the thick fur blankets laying on your bed instead and wrap it around your frame, before you tiptoe towards the large wolf kneeling in front of the fireplace.
“I have something different in mind,” you speak softly. Cregan, startled by your words and your sudden approach, turns around and faces you as he rises to his feet. You reach and bury your hands in the collar of his coat, the blanket falling to the ground in the process, and when you use your grip to pull him close, you find that he does not shy away in the least – if anything, he follows the tug to connect your lips in a heated kiss.
He brings his large hands to your waist with ease, and presses his body against yours. The wolf feels like he’s drowning in you, in your lips, your warmth, your presence and scent. Wanting to lose himself in the moment, in you, his hands wander lower to your hips.
“I did not expect you to do this tonight,” he breathes against your lips, breaking the silence.
“And I did not expect some things from you tonight either,” you reply, breathlessly, voice breaking with every breath you take. “Is that a bad thing?”
His voice is low and smooth as he speaks, shaking his head. “Quite the contrary.” There is a flirtatious smile on his lips, and a playfulness you haven’t seen before in his gray eyes. It’s as if that small spark between you has quickly evolved into an inferno that now burns bright in the both of you.
It’s a fierce and burning kiss when your lips connect once more, fueled by the fires coursing through your veins. You release a soft whimper with his large paws trailing over your sides, feeling the fabric of your nightgown.
“If we continue this, I won’t be able to stop myself,” he rasps.
You tilt your head back to look at him, a cheeky grin on your lips. “Perhaps I do not want you to.”
Cregan’s eyebrows raise at your reply, and you feel his hands tighten around your waist once more. He can’t help but feel a jolt of arousal run down his back, which prompts him to release a low chuckle. “Well, if you wish for it that much…” he whispers in response, before pulling you back toward him, kissing you passionately.
A breathless chuckle slips past your lips as you pull back from him, licking your kiss swollen lips. “But there are a few things we need to get you out of first,” you tease, tugging at the thick, furry coat that’s draped over his broad shoulders.
“Are you this eager to have your hands over all of me?” he replies with a flirtatious smirk, but still unclips the coat and lets it fall to the ground. He doesn’t mind you seeming quite intent to get him out of his armor, allowing you to fumble with the clasps and buckles, and eventually helps you remove the heavy bits until he’s left wearing nothing but his breeches. But even those are quickly unlaced by you, left to be a puddle around his feet.
“My my, do you not feel a little too hot still, Lord Stark?” you tease, letting your fingers wander over his exposed stomach. You can’t help but feel warmth creeping onto your cheeks as you see him in such little clothing, so exposed. He’s a muscular man, tall and large, and the sight of his bare skin with the dark of hair on his chest and a trail of it running below his undergarments is a welcoming one.
Through the linen you see that he’s already hard and begging, waiting for you to take things further. Truly a shame you seem to relish in the teasing.
Goosebumps prickle on his skin in the wake of your finger, making you smile. You drag your finger along the waistband of his undergarments, hooking it beneath to tug on it. He knows what you desire, and he’s not ashamed to give you just that. “I do not see you so eager to remove your own clothes, Princess,” he teases, undoing the laces in the front for his undergarments to join his breeches. “It is hardly fair you want to see all of me, yet I am not allowed to do the same.”
You take in a sharp breath at the sight of his hard cock, standing to full attention. It has you licking your lips. Batting your eyelashes at him, you’re quick to pull your nightgown over your head, a smirk on your lips. A flimsy piece of linen conceals what lies between your legs, but it’s still enough for him to all but devour your almost bare frame.
“There,” you whisper, “now we are on equal grounds.”
Cregan takes a moment to look over you, licking his lips at the sight of your breasts fully exposed mto him. He knows you’re no maiden who’s completely untouched, you wouldn’t be as confident if you were, but it doesn’t stop him from appreciating the sight in front of him.
“Equal grounds, truly?” he asks you, taking a step toward you. One arm snakes around your waist, pulling you against him, as his other hand fists the linen of your smallclothes. “I think you still have an advantage over me, Princess. Because I have yet to see what lies beneath your undergarments.”
Your palms rest flatly against his chest, and you press a chaste kiss to his skin. “I will not stop you, Lord Stark,” you whisper, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes.
“Then let’s make these ‘equal grounds’ a little bit more equal, hm?” Cregan whispers as well. He sinks to his knees with his mouth trailing a path down your body, licking and kissing over your skin until he reaches your navel. His large hands trail over your sides and thighs on his way down, the movement and sight making your breath hitch in your throat.
A shudder ripples through your body as he tugs your smallclothes down your legs, and while you watch him with your hands buried in his dark curls, his eyes are all but focused on what’s between your legs.
He drapes one of your legs over his broad shoulder, his dark blown eyes darting up to meet yours, and before you can make any teasing remark, his mouth is on you. A gasp catches in your throat. “Cregan, please,” you whimper, forgetting all courtesies the moment his tongue drags through your slit. There’s no softness, no gentleness in the way he all but devours your cunt, the previous teasing having made his patience run thin.
Your head tips back in pleasure as his tongue alternates between sliding into you and swirling around your pearl, noticing both options have you grind your hips against his face. The tip of his nose rubs so perfectly against your pearl when his mouth pays attention to your entrance, and Cregan’s fingers dig into your flesh with your body tensing up already, keeping you steady.
The Wolf of the North growls against your cunt as if he’s truly turned into one, devouring you with all he’s got, the sheer pleasure brought by his tongue and lips taking over you.
As you look down at him again, you find him already staring up at you, watching you carefully as you slowly but surely unravel on his tongue. It’s intense, but you’re captivated enough not to break eye contact.
“Gods, yes, I–” you whimper, and fall apart all over his tongue with a shudder. If it wasn’t for Cregan’s paws on your body, you would have lost balance by now, especially with the way he seemed to work his tongue in and out of you faster just in rhythm to his nose rubbing your pearl.
He pulls away from you slowly as your peak subsides, and with his beard and lips glistening with the remnants of your arousal, how could you not pounce on him right then and there?
He supports his body with one arm placed on the ground and stretches his legs as you push yourself against him, wrapping your arms around his strong neck. The taste of yourself on his tongue makes you moan against his lips before you deepen the kiss.
Cregan’s hard cock is nestled between your bodies, and you can’t resist wrapping your hand around it, stroking him once, twice, before you shift your hips and slowly sink down on him.
Muscular arms completely wrap around your waist, making you very well aware of the size difference between the two of you. You’re significantly smaller than him, and relish in the feeling of being safe and protected with him around. You two haven’t been too close upon your arrival in the North, but it seems that there has been a hidden attraction lingering for quite some time.
You know your hips would sooner or later become sore from pumping him with your core, hence you stick to rocking your hips back and forth with his cock stuffed deep inside you. It’s intimate and slow, but with the coarse hairs around the base of his cock dragging over your pearl with each swivel of your hips, you’re still racing for completion.
While he mouths along your jaw and the curve of your throat, one of his hands comes up to cup your breast. Rolling the perky bud between his index finger and thumb, the slight sting works wonders to amplify the pleasure coursing through your veins.
“By the Seven,” you whimper, grinding your hips against him with more determination.
There comes a sharp hiss in return from him, barely audible between the open mouthed kisses he presses to your collar bones. You’re clawing at his shoulders and neck by now, scratching it despite the sensuality of your movements, and it feels as though you’re even drawing blood. But he doesn’t care about that – he rather enjoys having a woman that doesn’t hold back.
Trailing his lips up to your throat, he nudges your chin with his nose, prompting you to tip your head back. “It’s not them you need to pray to right now, Princess,” Cregan rasps, a clear strain to his voice. “But perhaps I should take that as a compliment, hm?”
His words cause you to chuckle, and you’re grateful that he’s quickly distracted by kissing your throat again, because otherwise he might have noticed the heat his words bring to your cheeks. “If that is…” you trail off panting, burying your hand in his curls to tug his head back, forcing him to look up at you. The sight of his dark blown eyes hungrily gazing at you sends a shiver down your spine. You feel desired. “If that is a compliment, then I shall have to say it much more often.”
You’re not sure if it’s the fact you state wanting to compliment him more often, or if he’s just not used to having an appreciative lover in general, but your words seem to flip a switch inside of him. You quickly find yourself lowered on the fur blankets, warming your back while the flames heat up your skin and Cregan your blood.
Nestled between your legs, he’s growing more determined now, the sensual rocking of your hips clearly not enough for him, but you don’t mind it. As much as you enjoy being in control, setting the tone, you also revel in following the lead.
He’s propped up on one elbow, supporting himself as he thrusts into you, rolling his hips that make his cock drag so expertly against the sweet spot inside of you.
With one hand, you hold onto his broad shoulder, digging your nails into his skin, while the other gropes at his chest, teasing his bud just like he’s done with yours before. The feeling of his coarse hairs beneath your fingers feels somewhat strange at first, for Aemond hasn’t had as much chest hair as Cregan does, but it’s also comforting.
The familiar coil in the pit of your belly tightens slowly with his hips snapping into yours over and over again, split open by his hard cock.
“Will you fill me up, my lord?” you moan breathily, arching your back with your breasts pressing against his sturdy frame.
Cregan releases a choked groan at the question, and for a moment you can feel his hips stutter. You briefly wonder if you’ve pushed your luck too far, especially with him not replying immediately, until his raspy voice cuts through the heavy pants and moans.
“Only if you let me take you to wife, Princess.”
You inevitably clench down around him as a small, hiccuped gasp catches in your throat, resulting in Cregan drawing in a sharp breath. The haze in your eyes is replaced by an emotion you haven't felt in so long, an emotion he’s now giving back to you. And you let it flood you.
Your hand comes from his chest to his biceps, holding onto it as you gather your thoughts. His hips haven’t slowed down one bit, and he’s truly expecting you to answer as if he wasn’t repeatedly impaling you on his cock right now.
Staring up at him with wide eyes, your voice isn’t any louder than a whisper. “It would be foolish of me to turn this offer down,” you reply.
An impish smirk dances along Cregan’s features. “Is that meant to be a yes?”
“Y-Yes, it is, “ you whimper beneath him, arching your back once more.
The warmth of his body, his weight and scent cloud your every being, and his thrusts are determined and harsh enough to render you speechless, your mind and body completely claimed by him.
His hand snakes between your bodies, aiming for your sensitive pearl. Though the coarse hair around his cock has granted you at least a bit of friction, it’s not enough to bring you to your peak. His thumb circles over the little bud, fully coated with your arousal, and the thread in your belly is close to snapping.
“Then I just might,” he grunts in return.
Your body jerks at the sudden touch, but his muscular frame between your legs is enough to keep you pinned to the ground. “I need you… Cregan,” you whimper, bringing a hand behind his head to pull him down for a heated kiss. Your lips hardly part to release whimpers and moans, swallowing each other’s sounds of pleasure without any shame. “Let me give you a spare.”
It appears that your words give him a new-found vigor that leaves you gasping, the pace of his hips increasing. As you start to roll your hips against his thumb, you not only create some friction that feeds your pleasure but his as well. It’s not long after that your peak washes over you with a soft gasp, walls clenching around him like a vice.
With your small frame trembling between his strong arms, Cregan releases a strained grunt, his own peak being milked out of him by your cunt fluttering around his cock. He keeps on dragging his thumb over your sensitive pearl, prolonging your peak and the pleasure that comes with it.
You stare up at him with wide eyes as you’re milking him for every drop, because there’s something so vulnerable in this wolf of a man, towering over you with his skin glistening with sweat, so desperate to fill you with his seed and breed you.
The last jolts of his peak force him to languidly rut his hips into yours, desperately chasing the feeling of bliss that courses through your veins. His chest heaves with every heavy breath he takes, and the dark curls are damp and fall into his face.
Only as Cregan is certain there’s not one drop of his seed left inside of him does he slowly stop his ministrations, and the hand that has toyed with your bud seizes your hips, stilling them.
His erratic breaths fans over your sweaty skin with his lips pressing to your temple. The feeling of being whole with him doesn’t leave you, not when his weight pins you down and keeps you grounded, easing your tumbled mind.
“I shall welcome the arrival of any child you bear me,” Cregan says, inevitably breaking the silence.
A smile spreads across your lips as you wrap your legs around his hips, and your arms around his neck. “Be careful what you wish for. My children will certainly be just as stubborn as me.”
His heart is practically pounding against his ribs, and he can feel himself on the verge of being lost by your touch alone again. You make him go wild and feral, your bold and flirtatious nature bringing out another side to him that’s completely unexpected. And yet it feels so right.
The teasing banter brings a smile to his lips and a light to his gray eyes, your wit and humor shining through. “Let them be stubborn, then,” he chuckles, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “They only need to be half as feisty as you, and I shall be the happiest man in Winterfell.”
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