#if you have any ideas hmu I will make them real

[butch--dean]

dean winchester x afffirmations

(see cas affirmations here)

[nctstar]

1.

“Stop that.” He whispered against the skin of your neck. “You know he wouldn’t care.”

“That’s the problem. We need to do this properly.”

“You know why we can’t do that.”

pairing: johnyong x fem!reader (no romantic johnyong ship)

other members: none

word count: 3.7k

genre: romance, angst, with a side of smut

warnings: sexual content so minors please dni!! profanity, y/n has migraines (pretty severe!), semi-public sex, oral (fem receiving), cheating (? it's complicated), sleeping with your ex, some freaky kissing

disclaimer: this is a fanfiction purely from my (filthy) imagination. I don't know the nct members and don't claim that they act like this in real life. I also do not condone any of the activity by any of the characters in this fic. 

a/n: hi guys, i'm alive :D i've had a lot of ideas recently and a steamy johnyong drama was one of them, and then my eyes feasted upon acne studios event johnny and i finally got the push i needed to go through with writing it :) writing slump over we all cheered wooooo. also, ik it's kinda ~confusing~ rn. this is a series so just trust me okayyyy. also, i love making fic playlists and here's the one for this fic. if you picked up that this is loosely based on the 5SOS song blender pls marry me rn <3 nobody get's 5SOS like I do I swear :( pls hmu if you get me

You wouldn’t have noticed him at all, if it wasn’t for the way you watched Taeyong’s deep brown eyes flicker past you, shadows of stories passing by like it was nothing. You thought nothing of it, but your head turned, your body in tune with his more than you realised. And, just like a bad case of fate, there he was.

Johnny Suh.

He walked in like he owned the place, as he always did. His cocky demeanour hung off his body perfectly, like the oversized leather jacket he wore everywhere he went. His smile made the girl waiting on him eagerly blush, something that made you both angry and a little wistful. Your gaze lingered on far too long. And, as usual, like he always did, Taeyong pretended he didn’t notice. He always pretended, even when you were so far gone, he felt like he was pulling you out of quicksand.

“What colour looks better on me, jagiya?�� Switching to Korean was your safety net, something sacred between only you and him, more intimate than the restless nights you spent tangled up in bed, Johnny’s presence a mere afterthought. You turned to Taeyong’s back, his slender body on display in the full-length mirror in front. You tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear as you both locked eyes through his reflection.

“Black.”

The seriousness, properness in the air was almost palpable, like you both were being watched, tested and graded. Not a single wrong movement, or breath. It was unbearable and at the same time, so tantalizing, like something could break the surface at any moment. Moving forward, you brought a hand up and over his shoulder, letting your fingers run over his collarbone. “Yeah. Definitely black.”

Taeyong kissed your hand, and you tried to remember when he took your hand in his. “I wanna show you a few more items. In there.” He cocked his head ever so slightly to the curtained fitting rooms, so subtle, meant to remain a secret between the two of you.

Not thinking about Johnny was like trying not to let the plague take over your body. He seeped through you like the truth, feeling right in every scenario. And in this moment, as you let Taeyong run his mouth down the valley of your breasts, your skin erupting in flames underneath his lips, you shut your eyes, and there was Johnny. Your feet on his toned calves, your hands around his thick cock. But when you opened your eyes, there was Taeyong, between your legs, right here, right now.

You clamped your mouth, moans threatening to spill out. “Oh god,” you whispered through your fingers. “R-right ther-haah…” Your thighs constricted around his head as he quickened his pace, both of your hands behind you to hold you upright.

“Hey, excuse me?”

Fuck.

It’s like someone had drawn the curtains back on you both in this compromising position. You moved away first, shoving yourself back on the complimentary bench you weren’t sure how many others had done unholy things on, Taeyong shortly after, watching your face redden with every passing second.

Johnny continued. “This one’s a little small, sweetheart. I run larger than that, you know?” You could almost see him winking at her, smiling that god-awful smile that made every woman melt like putty under his gaze. As if on cue, she giggled.

Fuck. Him.

“Come here, baby.” You spoke softly, both hands unhooking your bra as you kneeled in front of Taeyong, shuffling closer so your tits pressed again his torso, clad in a compression shirt. He groaned. “Fuck.” He grabbed your face, kissing you deeply and pushing you down to the floor.

Thirty minutes later, you were in the passenger seat, the days shopping in various sized bags in the back. You were both silent, the radio playing some obscure song neither of you knew. With the windows down, the air still felt hot and heavy, pressing onto your skin. You played with the strands of hair sticking to the back of your neck, squinting as Taeyong turned a corner and the blaze of the mid-afternoon sun poured into your eyes.

“I ended up getting both.”

“Hmm?” Condensation slipped inside your palm as you played with the cold water bottle next to the gear shift.

“Both of the caps.”

“You bought caps? You have so many at home.” The answer felt involuntary, combined with the frustration of the hot weather and lack of food since brunch. He frowned, and you immediately felt guilty. “Sorry, I mean like-“

“You said you liked the black one. You were right there.”

You felt a deep shame somewhere buried inside you as you mentally flicked back to the moments in the dressing room. The plague was making you really sick now, making you notice things you didn’t need at all, and throwing out memories of things that you really did. “R-right. Sorry, hon. Didn’t mean to snap. It’s just so hot today.” You meant to chuckle, to lighten the mood, but your body could not go through with it. Instead, the both of you sat in uncomfortable silence.

The silence stretched on for agonising miles, as it usually did. Nowadays, when you weren’t having dry, stationery conversations, you were exploring each other’s bodies like it was what you were supposed to do as a couple. Not out of passion, or lust. Just because. Your eyes kept drifting closed, the will to keep them open slipping further away from your grasp. You just wanted to be in bed…alone, slipping through the mattress and into the floor, deeper, and deeper.

You finally woke with a jolt at the sound of the door close. Your makeup felt far too heavy on the skin of your face, the ache in your feet now screaming at you. “Baby, wait.” The phrase disappeared into the air unheard, but you stepped out of the car, right in the face of a camera.

“_, _!”

Shit. How did they find us?

“Are you here alone? Who drove you here? Tell us a bit about the man in your car…” You admired the man’s insistence at his job. His passion, however intrusive and idiotic, was majorly inspiring at this phrase of your life.

Shut the fuck up, you wanted to say. You kept a stern face instead, hoping your eyes would communicate that instead. “No thanks.” You side-stepped him strategically, a new throbbing in the left side of your temple starting to grow. Fuck, not again. You tried to breathe, in, out, in, out, but the rhythm caught in your throat, your vision began to grow blurry, and you stumbled uncomfortably in your sneakers that now felt like they weighed tons.

“Ma’am? Are you alright?” You heard the man’s keys before his footsteps, the sound of his camera flashing as he approached. The light was blinding, and you dropped to your knees as the flashing sounds continued, like gunfire on a field of soldiers.  

Who the fuck still used bright-ass flash?

“Who the fuck still uses flash!” It was a yell, from maybe about 10 metres away, but the ringing in your ears fogged it up like it was underwater. You tried to focus on your breathing, but your heart didn’t care about your wellbeing, apparently, speeding up at the sound of his voice. “Get away from her, right now.” The voice, still foggy, felt closer to you, and you felt an arm around your middle pulling you gently upwards. He whispered, “Okay, sweetheart, let’s get you out of here.”

Your pain spiked at the thought of the busy, lighted McDonalds as you walked away from the man with the flash camera, somehow on the floor of the car park now. “It needs to be dark, and quiet. It won’t stop unless it is.”

Johnny made a noise of sympathy. “I know, I remember.”

You only then registered the tears, wet on the heavy-set makeup on your face. You couldn’t even look him in the eyes, a weird sense of guilt throbbing just as hard as your migraine deep in your gut. He was still walking you somewhere, and you just let him, no energy to care about anything other than the pain in your temples. He soothed you gently through whispers of something inaudible, but his breath felt warm and welcoming on your neck, and, despite it all, you were grateful for his presence.

“Go lie in the back, okay?” He shoved his jacket off as he spoke. “No cologne today. You can put it over your face. Don’t worry about anything.” You nodded, the familiar routine flooding back into you like water in on a dehydrated rock.   

Time passed like the way months pass in a busy year, and the next time you took a long, deep breath, you opened your eyes to the sensation of a firm, cold, king-sized bed. The room was dimly lit, enough so you could make out the outlines of the furniture in the room, but not bright enough to read anything if it was written on the walls. There was no lingering smell in the air, only the faint scent of your own shampoo, and no sound at all except the light ringing in your ears, much less strong than before. Your muscles relaxed like you were in a hot bath after a long day – safe, relaxed, nothing on your mind. You fell back asleep in seconds.

You woke what seemed like hours later. The room was significantly darker now, no more dusk light glowing from behind the curtains. The door was slightly ajar, and you registered voices this time coming from beyond.

“Why didn’t you just call me?”

“She was having a bad one. And, why would I have needed to call you?” You put on the slippers next to your bed without thinking, wrapping the robe you forgot you put on tight around your body. “You weren’t even there with her. What were you thinking?”

“Johnny, don’t. I stepped out to get something for her.”

“You should have known she would have the episode today. There are always signs.”

“You just said it was that asshole’s fault!”

You walked in the kitchen to see Johnny turned away, Taeyong at the end of the counter. When you met Taeyong’s eyes, you watched them widen as he stepped towards you. “Oh, honey.” You held him, his hand pressing the nape of your neck towards himself. “I was so worried. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you squeaked. As you pulled away, Taeyong pressed a kiss to your lips, pulling away to look into your eyes and stroke the sides of your face. “You look so tired, sweetie. I should have noticed.”

“Really, it’s fine, love.” You kissed him back, making awkward eye contact with Johnny towards the end. Shuffling awkwardly, you cleared your throat. “Um, we should get going.”

“No, you’re staying for dinner.” Johnny threw a towel over his shoulder in a way that was comical, almost making you laugh. You smiled, trying to ease the situation. “Johnny, really. I appreciate it, but-“

“There’s no way you both can drive all the way back to the apartment.” Your heart skipped as you heard him say the and not your. That one word gave you that illusion that time had stopped, and that the past 10 months had all been a dream, and you were still there, in the kitchen, pressed up against his body without a care.

You shook your head, willing the memories and coming back into reality all at the same time. “You can’t. You’ve just had your worst episode. No thanks to that grade A fucktard who doesn’t know how to use a camera in the 21st century.” He rolled his eyes. “Car trips will make you nauseous.”

“No! I mean,” you rubbed your head. “Me and Taeyong, we have this, um, this event…” You knew it was a weak argument, but you threw it out anyway. When you looked over at Taeyong, he was, of course, shaking his head. “I’m sure Jaehyun won’t mind. It’s the album release party.” He looked over to Johnny, who nodded politely.

“You can still go. Just drop me off at home.”

“Nonsense, _. You spend the night here.” You and Taeyong both looked at each other, you with an expression of clear distaste, and Taeyong with something a bit less than that. “I mean…didn’t you say you had a thing?”

“Yeah, I mean, she’s not a kid. She can stay by herself. Call us if you need anything. But she shouldn’t get into the car.” Taeyong hummed in agreement as Johnny walked towards the both of you, and you looked at the both of them incredulously. “Did you both just decide on plans without me?” You crossed your arms. “Unbelievable.” It came of surprisingly playful, making them both laugh, Johnny now sizing you up with his eyes like he always did. “You like the robe?”

“Y-yeah.” For a second you were too comfortable, looking right into Johnny’s eyes, wanting more than anything to be in his arms. Your body, your mind, this house…you were there, 10 months ago, back when it was all okay, it was right. Forgetting that Taeyong was right here, staring at you back, wishing you were here right now.

“You gonna be okay here, baby?” Taeyong brought your hands into his, pulling you close as Johnny walked away. You nodded, smiling up at him with passion in your heart for the first time in what felt like too long. The guilt started throbbing in your gut again, but you grabbed his face in your hands, kissing him deeply until you felt it ebbing away.

∞

“Shh. You need to be quiet. My niece is here.”

That was the sentence that rang like alarm bells in your brain. At first, your entire body tensed up, the unfamiliar surroundings making you confused. Memories of the day came back, and you relaxed a little, finally registering what was going on.

The sounds of a woman giggling and going shh in an exaggerated tone made you feel like someone threw all your emotions in a blender. Annoyance, confusion, anger, sadness, lust…it all swirled and mixed intentionally, blades cutting through each one at lightning speed.

Both of their bodies thumped upstairs, and it wasn’t long before she started moaning like a pornstar.

Your. Fucking. Niece. Is. Here??

You made a face of disgust at nobody as the noises continued. “If I was your niece, I would be reporting you to CPS.” You slammed back into bed, momentarily delighted that the painful throbs in your brain were gone far enough that you could throw yourself around easily. You pushed a pillow on top of your face, as if you were in a teen movie and you needed to throw a tantrum. At the third Oh, harder! girlish squeal that you heard, you were ready to go through with it.

Instead, your brain decided to flash through memories of yourself and Johnny. Back when you weren’t his fake niece, and instead the giggly drunk girl he would take upstairs to fuck the living daylights out of.

Fuck. Why am I thinking about this? You were stretching your arm uncomfortably out, too lazy to get out of bed to reach your phone, thinking about calling Taeyong to distract yourself or to come get you when the noises upstairs stopped.

“FUCK YOU!”

It was so loud it made you jump.

You heard the deep tenor of Johnny’s voice in the background, before her higher-pitched one cut through the air. “Fucking asshole!” You heard thumps of footsteps, much quicker and lighter than before, and sounds of zippers being pulled. When they stopped close to the door of your room, which was still slightly ajar, you kept thinking shit. There was no way you could pretend you were asleep this entire time anymore.

“Give me your fucking car keys. I’m leaving right now.”

“Look, I-“

“Do you even remember my name?” The small but significant silence that followed was so intentionally on point that you couldn’t help but snigger, covering your mouth with your palm to remain quiet.

When you heard the door slam, you lay properly in bed, still going with the plan that you were gonna pretend you somehow slept through that. As if like a badly-scripted TV show, the door to your room opened as you tried to tuck yourself in, not quick enough to avoid Johnny at the door.

“Oh, hey.” For some reason, everything was immediately extremely funny, and it was like trying to guide an elephant going estray, the way everything in you was trying not to burst out laughing.

“Sorry about the noise.”

“It’s fine.” You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I was awake anyway. Migraine’s pretty much gone.” You gestured awkwardly to your head, reaching out to grab your phone now properly. “I think Taeyong’s ready to pick me up now.” You turned the screen on as you said this, as if you just read texts from him. In reality, your phone was dry and empty, the lockscreen of you and Taeyong making a heart at the beach last summer glaring back at you in the dark. “I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

“No trouble.” He walked into the room, door now fully open. You crossed your legs on the bed, not knowing what to say or how to act, not knowing why he was now silently looking over the dresser in the room to your left.

��I said your name.”

Your blood froze, body reacting before your brain. You sputtered, “I, uh, what?”

He opened his mouth to reply, now fully turned towards you, but you brought a finger to your own lips. “That’s okay. Don’t need to explain, Johnny. I, just, why would you say that?” The last part refused to remain a thought in your heard, instead spilling out of you in words drenched in emotional blender soup.

“You just said you don’t need an explanation.”

“Ugh, Johnny,” you rubbed your temples, not because of an incoming migraine, but in a more dramatic, single mom in a bad murder mystery novel kind of way. “You always do this. You know what I mean.”

When you looked up, his eyes were softer than you thought. He looked…vulnerable, and lost. He had the other end of that string that you held onto as you slipped deeper into the quicksand, standing there, looking like only one who could pull you out.

He walked closer to you, and your body did not move away. He got close enough to sit on the edge of the bed, slouched over, and you dragged your legs over to sit next to him. “I’m your fucking niece?” You laughed easily now, and you watched his body vibrate as his body copied yours. “It was the only thing I could think of in the moment, okay?” His smile made your body feel electric, like you could conquer anything in that moment. And for a moment, you surrendered to the notion that it was exactly 10 months ago, on the precipice of the moment it all fell apart.

Why did you break up with me? You wanted so desperately to say, your voice coarse from screaming it in your mind for hours every day. But instead, you answered his measured attempts to keep a light conversation.

“You had any migraine this bad in a while?”

“No.” you shook your head, now tucking your legs in underneath you to lean on the bedframe, his body turning to face you as you did. “Been seeing a new physician. She’s much better.”

“Oh yeah? Finally dumped Dr Misogyny?”

“Uh huh. I figured I didn’t need someone who kept trying to convince me I was overreacting and being hysterical.”

“Mmm. Good on you, sweetheart.” Even though you knew how easily Johnny threw endearing terms around, your stomach still flipped violently at his reply, and you gulped.

“Taeyong’s been good too. He’s sleeping a lot better. Not working too late anymore.”

“That’s good.” Johnny readjusted on the bed, inching closer towards you. “He works way too hard. As do you.”

“Johnny…” Your voice ever so slightly caught in your throat, and it was noticeable enough for him to catch. You mentally cursed, but that’s when something in you went fuck it, and you went in straight for the kill.

“Why did you leave me…us?” Your voice shook, no matter how strongly you willed it not too, and the last word came out like a forbidden whisper.

He looked directly into your eyes, as if he was relieved that you asked him, like he’d been holding onto the response for the past 10 months. “I…I regretted it every single day.”

“Then you should have fucking told me.” You sucked in a breath. “You could have said anything to me, and I would have come running. I trust you, I…I love you.” Every breath felt painful as you let your confession hang in the air dangerously. “You know that.”

“I know, _.”

Before you could even let yourself process the moment, you leant over and kissed him. The guilt throbbing in your gut exploded like a small fire as it catches on to grow endlessly large and overwhelming. He grabbed your body, lifting you to rest on his lap, your kisses growing feverish with heat.

When you pulled away, you opened your eyes to come to your senses. “N-no, we shouldn’t.”

“Stop that.” He whispered against the skin of your neck. “You know he wouldn’t care.”

“That’s the problem. We need to do this properly.”

“You know why we can’t do that.”

“I don’t, Johnny. I don’t know why we can’t.” You began to argue with him, but he shut you up by hoisting your upper body further and further up, biting and sucking the skin down the base of your neck, collarbone, and between your breasts. Your arms latched onto his muscular shoulders as you rocked naturally on his lap. “God, fuck you, Johnny.” He chuckled against your clothed torso.

“Give me a second.” He pushed you gently backwards, rising up on his knees to let you watch as he pulled his shirt off with one hand. He fell on top of you in one fell swoop, kissing you between the cages of his muscular arms. His body rolled onto yours, making you gasp. “Johnny, I-“

“I know. Just let me. Okay?”

[bluenomad-snufkin]

More about me... be warned im a terrible human

I am 16 - Male, chronically depressed. Un-ironically a genius... and lack real connection.

I like weird music such as, Death grips, Semetery, Adam and the ants, Fried by Fluoride... I LOVE THE SMITHS BTW and nirvana.

i enjoy playing with computers and building them, have about 4 pc's now and 5 laptops, all old stuff cause i like old computers.

Linux enthusiast - I use mint :3

I own a shit CRT but its fun to use- lain core </3

Game a fair bit and enjoy games like Chiv2-Cof-Postal1/2-Tf2-project zomboid- Counter strike source and 2. silent hill series could go on and on but you get the idea

hmu if u want to game cause all my friends are ass at "these sort of games"

i enjoy some weird interests as well:

tcc, photography, design, steam power, engines in general, motorbikes, hacking, ELETRIC GUITAR, and acoustic, gambling, baking, cooking, pirating, audiophile, 3drinting, preservation of old tech, blacksmithing, reading, Gel-Blasting (for the Americans it is australian Airsoft in short), old game console modding, anime and movies.

That's probably the list ngl

I read a lot and i like to discuss deep philosophical concepts and the "psychology" of humans. (if you couldn't tell I'm a 'misanthrope')And talking about societal constructs and all that stuff... not many people like talking about that stuff.

a good way to describe me would be Lain but mentally Dr house. in the sense of dislike of just about everything and my attitude towards others and life its self.

I don't know why I am the way I am... I truly am a miserable person, i have my moments but I honestly am, and I make others very miserable just by more or less existing with them.

This blog is kind of apart of my journey to becoming something else, I think self discovery would be the wrong term but the closest set of words I can think of too how I feel.

some more personal stuff...

I am incredibly lazy, not to the point of not showering or never leaving bed but more "surrogate activates" - Ted K, or meaningless and basic tasks/activates, I don't really participate in class due to the fact i somehow know most of it (I'm ignorant too) I don't really like doing things like- actually this is hard to explain but the best way i can describe it would be doing this that have to value to me or my future.

I don't have a problem connecting with people but I find my self ALWAYS not actually caring for them or there feelings. I don't believe at this point in time I could name more than one person I really care for. I would label this a selfish but its not like to treat my self any better. maybe that is how i punish my self, any insight on this topic would be much apricated.

I seem to have sort of desire for Control - i think this because i love just watching people listening and anticipating what people will say, do, think, act, its some sort of game for me (i really don't know how to put this) and id have to say 80% of the time my guess are correct, i am a ""master"" of determining and analysing humans, its really weird and i don't understanding where or even how i developed this skill from. i often find my self using this to just piss people off and see how mad i can get someone (i mainly do this online).

A lot of human thinking and reactions piss me off, I hate how some people think and interact with this world i don't seem in some case even understand why these people are like this i s just know and know that they are. I'm not sure if i wish to be like them or for "them" to be like me.

I truly am a troubled and misunderstood person.

one may conclude that I'm autistic or have some other form of genetic/ mental illness, to that i say, are you fucking retarded... do you understand anything in this world or that of the human mind?

Maybe you do, if so please critiqueme and tell me why i am me.

I have been tested for Autism and ADHD, both Negative not sure by what margin although.

My best guess is that i am simply "hyper realised" or some other buzz words - or are a lot of people this way...???

Just been reading and editing this massive ass post, there are so many other things i could go on about, like the government, being clean, family, longing for societal escape, tictok, but you probably don't care just as i wouldn't.

Any way enjoy my weird blog i guess if you read this and where not turned away. lol

-last minute add don't know where to put this but i love tcc cause I'm "obsessed" with there minds, motives and stuff like that.

[mochiwrites]

hiii!!! im not even anon posting today ur getting my real account

i LOVEEEE your scarian fic (and like an arrow, you broke me down) like u don’t understand. i read it pretty much in one sitting and it made me SO UNBELIEVABLY SICK.

u write grian and scars dynamic PERFECTLY!!! you dont have them fall into the protecter/baby 🥺archetypes a lot of hurt/comfort fics seem to dub them as. they’re both people with their own issues and they both help and rely one one another LIKE RELATIONSHIPS USUALLY DO!!!!! its perfect i love it so much i cannot wait until the next chapter drops 🩷🩷

grian falling in love with scar in every universe makes me so sick😭😭

^ speaking of which, if its not spoilers, are you ever gonna explore the conflicts that come with grian falling in love with both LL and TL scar?? cuz oh boy… the angst…….. if u need any ideas hmu dawg i can yap ab all the thoughts this fic gave me

anyway tldr I LOVE UR WRITING WHAAHAHSH IM EATING THAT SHIT UPPPPP

UWAHHHH THANKIE 🥹💕💕💕 it’s a very beloved fic to me and I enjoy writing it so much — it also drives me absolutely INSANE while writing it (for. Obvious reasons LMAO)

but ueueueue ty!!! I try to specifically avoid the whole “protector/baby” thing because that just isn’t them… and they’ve both got their own issues going on and ;A; they gotta lean on each otherrrr (something grian will learn Soon) and hehe I just started chapter 18 today :3c

grian falling in love with scar in every world is just so,,,, ;w; and it’s the same with scar as well. it ties back to a theme I’ve got threaded through the fic that’ll make itself known very soon hehe :3

in response to your question though !!! there is an angle that I do want to look at with 3l!grian and ll!scar having feelings. it’s certainly inevitable but other than that I’m not too sure !! I haven’t mapped out much of their romance yet considering uh. Everything. but I’m not sure how angsty I’ll really get with their romance since I’ve set it up with the idea that no matter the universe, scar is scar and grian is grian. it’s still them

but hehehe thankie!!!! 🥺

[heartintact]

plots inspired by taylor swift’s music, enjoy! (& hmu if u want to write any of them!):

hits different: ‘you were the one that I loved, don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough’. muse a and muse b were everything, their first real love and now that they’ve broken up neither of them are dealing with it like they should. i just want to see messy exes who truly adored each other, getting drunk on the weekends and showing up at doorsteps, not dealing with jealousy, always ending up tangled together even when it just makes everything worse. just angst and pining and desperation.

glitch: muse a and muse b are insanely different, so people are constantly shocked when they find out they’ve been friends for a long time. no one who imagine that’s not all they are, because they’ve been friends with benefits for a long time now, self-sabotaging their own relationships at times and swearing it’s just some fun until they find someone permanent. but of course feelings start to get involved and neither of them is willing to admit it because that would just fuck up what they have, right?

the last great american dynasty: this is the entire vibe. basically muse a is a wild girl, she’s always down to any last minute plans and her life is a constant party. muse b on the other hand carries with all their families expectations, they’re expected to behave, don’t get their name on the magazines and eventually take over their parents role (bonus points for royalty but honestly any old money kinda business works perfectly). of course, muse a turns muse b’s world upside down. i wanna see them sneaking around trying to avoid rumors and muse a taking muse b to every party they shouldn’t be at, and muse b just throwing around their money and being happy and just letting go for the first time in their life.

illicit affairs: ‘look at this godforsaken mess that you made me, you showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else’ if you ask me, there’s nothing like a good infidelity plot. the plot could begin when the affair is brand new or when it’s been going on for some time but every time muse a tries to break it, muse b just gets them right back on the palm of their hand. i want to see the heartbreak of desperately wishing for someone who can never be yours and having to settle with anything they can offer. bonus points if muse a is somehow related or has a relationship with muse b's partner, it can be siblings, best friends, anything, it's just way more sad that way and i love angst.

i'm too lazy to write these ones but i've also thought abt ideas for 'tis the damn season, ...question?, miss americana & the heartbreak prince, august and cowboy like me because they're so good?? so anyway if u want to hear abt either of those just lmk lol.

[saturnine-saturneight]

OC origins name tag!

Hopping on an open tag by @paeliae-occasionally!

I want to know how you came up with your original character’s names and personalities. Are they based on people in your real life? Are they straight from your brain? Are they a mix of several people?

I've put a lot of thought into this, and made some more adjustments yesterday, so I'm excited to talk about it, haha.

Nat: Full name Natalie King

I was playing around with names that could mean 'born under a bad star' for them, but landed on Natalie, which means born on Jesus' birthday aka Christmas. Nat grew up Christian and has a bizarre relationship with it - this isn't even their legal name, they picked this out themself.

It's also nice that it starts with an N. Nat is themed after one of the seven wonders of the antique world, the hanging gardens of Babylon, built by Nebuchadnezzar II. King follows from this as well, plus lends itself well to their general character.

Ron: Full name Aarón Odo

Meaning 'high mountain' or 'exalted', playing into a very vague sky theme. In the bible, Aaron's rod produced miracles, a nod to Ron's street magic. The accent is on there because he's Afro-Brazilian. I also think the name Ron has kind of a mischievous, youthful vibe.

Jeanne Odo was a Haitian abolitionist. Ron doesn't consider himself someone who can make any kind of change, but he has his opinions.

Haru: Full name Luo Haru / Luó Guāng Fèng

Haru is of mixed Japanese and Chinese descent, so she has two names. Like the majority of Chinese people, she goes by her non-Chinese name in non-Chinese company because nobody can pronounce the other one right and she'd rather not hear it butchered.

Haru can mean spring, but also sun, playing into how she gets underestimated frequently by her looks and her height. She has a sun/fire theme going, which is also reflected in her chinese name (which my beta reader helped me massively with and which I have yet to run by someone fluent in Chinese to tell me if it sounds good, if this is you please hmu.) It uses the characters 光 (Guāng) meaning light, polish, shine, and one part of the word for 鳳凰 (Fènghuáng) for phoenix.

It's a very, very pompous name, given to her by her father with high hopes for her life.

There's not a lot to be said about Luó in contrast, it's just one of the most frequent family names in China.

Teo: Full name Mateo Aparecido

Teo used to have an accent on the e, but the Spanish version of his name doesn't actually have it, so he's lost his accent privileges.

From Matthaios, a Hebrew name meaning gift of God. I was looking for something meaning 'gift of the sea', but this is close enough. That's also why I abbreviate it to just 'gift'.

Aparecido, to manifest oneself, is one of the more common family names in Brazil. Teo is moon/water themed and I was playing with the idea of making his last name Rana (frog), but Aparecido flows better with his first name.

Matcha: Full name Malati Gupta

Matcha Ginny is a cover name she's given herself to obscure her identity, which is also close enough to her legal name to not get her confused.

Malati means Jasmine, which is also a kind of tea :)

Gupta means protector or guardian, a good motif for her character and aspirations. It's frequent among Brahmin, who have the cash to emigrate into the United States.

Rabbit: Full name Lydia Dotson

Rabbit is called Rabbit in the narrative because it's from Ron's and Nat's perspective. It's a mean nickname about her big front teeth and general prey animal demeanor that's just stuck around.

I picked out Lydia for the first letter it shares with Lepus, the latin name for the family of hares.

Dodgson was the legal name of Lewis Carroll, author of Alice in Wonderland. I'm afraid she can't escape it, she's rabbit/hare themed.

Louis: Full name Dr. Louis Bishop

Louis/Ludwig is a name frequently given to kings meaning 'famous in battle'. I needed something authoritative for him, something belligerent. He's a very gentle man on the surface, so the name needed some weight. The same goes for Bishop - I picked out a Christian authority figure here as a nod to Nat.

This also reflects that he really doesn't get a lot of characterization outside of Nat and how much he inhabits his antagonist role in the story. He likes bees, but he's s not getting named after what he likes.

I'm making this an open tag!

[riskisnsfw]

heyhey! you can call me Risk, i'm in my late 20s and i live in the midwest (not giving specifics publicly, but i may tell mutuals <3) i use any pronouns but they/them mostly, i'm fine with being gendered male for the purposes of kink/dynamics though. i don't have a label for my sexuality, but bisexual is the closest label for anyone who wants a rough idea of what i got going on. i consider myself to be a service top and dominant and i get satisfaction out of making others feel good. i have some switch-y tendencies, but it's more that sometimes i like when people who are gentle and want to take care of me. it's sweet. i also have some hard kinks, but i'm a huge softie. i may make some audio content at some point and i'll tag it here as well as other stuff i do! my icon is from 314672 and there's a prequel to it as well 268281, they're a couple of very sweet and cute doujins. (if anyone wants to be the elf hmu 😘💕)

dni: racists, homophobes, transphobes, bigots of all kinds, pedophiles and real ass abusers. uhhh and probably more, i'll put more here at some point i'm just drawing a blank i have a main, if we're mutuals feel free to ask if you'd like to talk outside of horny contexts. just know that i like the separation of this and that blog, so i likely won't wanna interact with you in the exact same way as i do here. also, i'm fat and hot. don't forget it.

[quincyhorst]

Inazuma Eleven Whiteboard but make it Red Matador

Ok. To give some context. Yesterday, tumblr user @ // marmolao opened up a public Ina11 whiteboard. It seemed pretty fun, even if I was a bit afraid at first of joining.

...But then the impulses won, and I drew Redomata's best duo :') (Plus an autism creature to warmup).

I thought Pedro and Igor would be lonely here at first, but then............... This Rafael appeared. So beautiful, I love it 😭🦇

I replied to it with some other RM defenders (?

"LOOK TONI, A VAMPIRE!!!"

"José, its the 30th time you've made vampure jokes with Rafa, leave him alone"

I left for a while, AND THEN I GOT SURPRISED WITH THIS HUGE QUERARDO ART AAAAAAA 🦁💖

"SHUT UP EVERYONE, I DON'T HEAR MY ESPAÑITA'S HYMN"

I would have put like 23091234 reaction images but the truth is I was on a hurry so I replied the best way I can. With cute animals :3

Oh btw apparently somebody wants to turn him into a furry bc of my lion doodle. If a furry Que appears by your dash, then I'm proud to be the reason why <3

In other news, I also found a doodle by @ // eky11 - @ // eky-13 about Joan. 🫡

And as somebody who is researcing about Catalunya/Valencia/Baleric Islands... I got an idea for a reply :3

"Me and the bros speaking in Catalan to confuse everyone else in the team"

...There's also this other Rafael too:

"The only one on the team who says -illo" (Andalusian dialect)

At the moment I'm queuing this, I'm making some more doodles, as I officially have the mission to draw EVERYONE from Redomata here 💪 If any other doodles appear, I'll put them on a separate post, but that's it for now.

Thank you for anyone who has filled this corner with such beautiful art!!! It makes my day so much 💕💕💕 Because the whiteboard is anonymous I cannot see who made each doodle, BUUUUT if you want to claim credit for anything here just hmu :D I'd love to mention you!

Oh, and if anyone else is interested on joining...

[loveofbots]

yess 😎😎 would it be alright to ask for hcs of some of scavengers, any of them work 🫣 love em all, though if you need specific ones, then spinister - crankcase - misfire, w/ a gender neutral human reader they found, that teaches them about human board games? since they do have jenga on the ship, other than bang bang shoot shoot, and they play it 👀 if not thats alright :D❤️

Do you know how much chaos monopoly night would be?

Do you even know what you’ve started?? /lh

- Two words, Sore. Losers. They lost? No they didn’t. Best 2 out of 3. Crank and Misfire take losses the worst.

- Wins however? Spinister and Misfire do not shut up about it. Especially if you’re generally the one to beat them at the game.

- Spinister’s favourite game is snakes and ladders, although he makes boards the length of you so that he can spend more time sitting with you and chatting (he will not admit the latter)

- He can be a little clumsy with small pieces, but he also loves how they look. Will assign you a small human figure that reminds him of you.

- If you begin to win consistently he will accuse you of cheating (whether you did or not) and will become pouty, let him win a few just in case.

- shit at any card game. He will start fights over them with the others in the group, but never with you, he knows you are too squishy to be thrown around. He did square up to Fulcrum however.

- hates scramble with a passion

- Misfire’s favourite game is sorry. He loves the idea of fucking you in more ways then one the game.

- Is the only one to actually try and cheat in games. Although he has a terrible poker face. His main tell is tapping his foot or chewing on his lip.

- Misfire HATES losing. That’s why he cheats, howeveerrr if you promise him that you’ll sit in his lap while you play a board game maybe he won’t get upset when you win.

- He secretly loves seeing you win, the way your face lights up and you slide over the shanix you both bet at the start of the game. He uses the money to buy you something nice don’t worry.

- cries for hours if he loses to Spinister

- Crankcase loves monopoly. He’s a smart guy! And although he’s not charming like Misfire or as gentle as Spinister, Crank likes to think he can be a good con man when he needs to be. The game goes as far as real life bargaining.

- You get to fly the ship for an hour if I get your railroad, I’ll carry you for a whole day if you let me buy your properties. So on and so forth.

- He uses the opportunity to become closer to you and fluster you. Maybe getting a tad raunchy with his deals- but beat him at the game and his cocky attitude goes flat.

- if you win consistently his ego might be bruised, but give him a kiss in the cheek and he’s feeling much better than before.

- Best poker face out of the whole group

HMU for more space husbands content XD

[evilhasnever]

Fpr the question game thing, can I request your answer to question 19 with the Merman Meng Yao fic?

19. If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve?

I have considered a few different things in the past, but never had the time to pursue them! One idea was to have long lost clutch-mate Xue Yang barge in to create chaos (but he’d be too dangerous for the eggs, let’s be real… and I’m not particularly interested in writing lots of XY.)

Another was to have Huaisang babysit the carnivorous Ponyo-style tadpoles that will hatch from those ;) note that he cannot swim, still…

The other idea was just pwp (i.e. the actual baby making) and I really don’t have the stamina for that!

A few commenters asked for a wangxian spin-off/backstory - but as much as I enjoyed writing Octoying, I don’t have any spoons for wangxian-centric fics. (So the wangxian plot bunny is up for adoption, hmu 🐙)

A cheeky meryao link!

[gaydelgard]

what are your feelings on fashion dreamer so far? the 'influencer'/'likes and followers' framing in the trailers sounds like a major turn-off for me and it seems like that's the core gameplay loop :/ but i've loved every style savvy game so i really want to make it work

i definitely understand that feeling, its NOT my favorite that theyve gone that direction

but that aside i find in the actual gameplay its largely ignorable, at least for me

like ok the gameplay mainly consists of designing clothes for player muses and npcs

when you design an outfit it """posts""" it automatically

aka it pops up in a little feed in a sub menu

but by feed it dont mean social media feed i just mean it lists your like 20 most recent actions youve done, i just open it up to collect my points and see whether other players enjoyed the outfits i made them

theres no feed of other players actions or anything like that it really is just a little sub menu for collecting points and for keeping track of the extremely limited player-player interactions (telling you if someone saved the outfit you designed them or visited your showroom, etc)

and depending on how well you adhered to the prompt or the player preferences of the person you made an outfit for you get """""likes"""""" and """"""followers""""""

but you dont, its just a number that it spits out which translates to points

points you use to create new clothes or buy furniture for your showroom

i have like over 1 million lmao

other than that theres a section that lists whats """"trending"""" and if you use those items/colors/patterns in your outfits you get bonus points

no idea if these are actual player trends or if its another thing thats just kinda made up by the game but i honestly dont care and only check it so i can grab any clothes i like off the list

so essentially the "influencer" thing is mostly set dressing

which to me is easily ignorable

youre not actually currying favor with an algorithm or the masses, its just auto generating numbers based on how well you did and what your level is

i find the real fun in the game is designing outfits for other players and having outfits designed for me. its cute and fun and a good way to get new items

designing for npcs isnt as fun but you can befriend them if you design for the same one over and over which unlocks new character customizations and photo poses

and they have a lot of the goofy charm that style savvy npcs had

you can even play offline so its double not real and just npcs

but like i said i think its fun to design and be designed for by real people

idk if that helps anon like i said its easy for ME to gloss over bc its not really a part of the game i feel the need to pay any attention to

hmu if you need me to elaborate on anything

[yuriko-mukami]

General RP style and preferences

Repost, don’t reblog. Bold what applies. Strikethrough what does not. Elaborate on any points you’d like.

Please be honest, we all want to find the people who work best with how we RP.

Types of RP / How I do threads

| I don’t I just do whatever is on my dash when I’m online | Mainly asks | I do little short things mostly | I do my threads on discord | Long running threads that slowly build upon the muses |

Asks are a great way to start a thread with me but I also give short answers, depending on the ask. I do love long threads that are slowly developing the relationship between the characters. Along with Tumblr, I also roleplay on Discord (both long and short things).

Plotting Preferences 

| Wing it | Get a general idea ooc and then run with it & plot further if need be | Long expansive thought out story arcs |

I do this all. Somehow I have mostly ended up winging things in most of Tumblr RPs or going on with very little plotting... but I also have some very carefully plotted out long RPs (mainly on Discord).

Type of threads I do / Prefer

| Oneliners only | Whatever dash shenanigans I’m online for | Para or Multi para | Literal Novels |

I rather write at least one paragraph but I prefer multiple paragraphs... and well, I'm very willing to write longer things too. My longest RP has probably reached the 100 000 words milestone (it has several threads though).

Reply Speed for Threads & Consistency & Keeping threads

| I lose threads all the time & don’t usually get back to them | I tend to lose threads but please tell me if I have and I’ll reply! | I drop threads pretty easily | I’m really slow but I WILL get back to you | I reply on a schedule/queue | I usually reply within a week | I reply every day | I reply almost instantly |

I don't have a steady schedule but if I have many threads going with many different people, I make one and then I usually use a queue too. At times, I'm slow because I have busy seasons at work or other real-life situations going on. I try to reply within a week but sometimes I can't. Sometimes I might reply almost instantly if I happen to have free time.

Romantic or sexual ships

| I don’t do these ships | I’m not against them happening but it is not the main point of my blog | All ships will have to be super slow burn & discussed a lot OOC, super chemistry based | I love doing ships, HMU I probably already ship it just ask! | I ship really quickly | I autoship or ship within a few interactions | I mainly RP for the cute ship fluff or smut |

Shipping isn't actually the main point of my RPs. For Yuriko's canon story, her ship with Ruki is one of the main points though and Rukiko RP with @ruki-mukami-dl is definitely my biggest and longest RP. I also have YuuNa ship with @nalia-wagner-rp on Yuuto's blog and Yuuto is exclusive with Nalia. And outside my current ships, I actually rather RP friendships, family stuff, or other dynamics.

Smut

| I do NOT do smut at all | I’m very selective about it | I only do it on a separate (blog/discord/specify here) | I mainly only do asks relating to nfsw headcanons on Sundays | I write it a medium amount | I write it all the time and love to | 

At the moment I don't write smut threads on Tumblr but I publish smut fics here. My smut threads are on Discord and I'm very selective with whom I write those and I prefer building the relationship between the characters before writing smut. But... when I write smut, I write it rather often and I do love it.

Active hours [Specify Timezone, if you’d like]

| Mornings 8-10 | Midday 11-1 | Afternoon 2-5 | Evenings 6-8 | Night 9-12 | Ungodly hours of the day 1-onwards |

Timezone: UTC +2 (Summertime +3)

I bolded the times I usually write on weekdays. But sometimes I'm active during the evenings and in the middle of the night too. And at weekends, I'm active whenever I feel like it. So, I really don't have that steady schedule.

Activity Schedule

| SUPER slow and sporadic, like once a month or so | Slow and sporadic week-long gaps between activity | Bi-weeklyish activity | Weekly activity (specify if there’s a certain time you have school/work/etc. off that you are most active) | Daily activity | I’m online nearly all the time |

I post something weekly, sometimes daily.

Starters

| I don’t do starter calls | I want to do starter calls but often don’t have time | I do selective calls (specify) | I don’t do calls, but always feel free to ask me for one! I do starter calls rarely/regularly/often |

I do starter calls if I have enough extra time in case I get many likes for that. So... rarely. But you can always DM me and ask me to send a starter to you or plot an RP with you. Or just send me a starter instead, I'm okay with that! So feel free.

AUs

| I don’t do AUs | My blog is an AU but outside of that I don’t do them | I sometimes do them but only with a lot of plotting | I have a couple of AUs already feel free to request them! | I have AUs coming out of my ears please interact with them! | I love making AUs HMU to plot if you think of one! | There are some AUs I won’t do (specify here) | 

Well, practically most of my RPs with different muses are considered AUs where other muses Yuriko has relationships with don't exist. Some of them are happening in the same universe or overlap partly though.

Other than that, I haven't written AUs. I might be willing to try that out at some point. Maybe. Not quite sure.

Crossovers

| I don’t do crossovers (specify reason if you’d like) | I’m selective with crossovers (specify reason if you’d like) | I love crossovers! |

I'm not too fond of crossovers because I rather know about both of the original stories but I rarely have time to collect enough information... and I'm very picky with my media consumption, so... Yeah, crossovers aren't exactly my cup of tea but I don't completely shut them out either. You can always ask me if you have a suggestion.

[heartintact]

here’s a wishlist with a few plots based on guts by olivia rodrigo that i’d really really love to write! (you know the drill, ♡ or hmu if you want to plot any of them). all of them can be f/m or f/f (except for lacy, lacy is definitely sapphic):

get him back! “i wanna key his car, i wanna make him lunch, i wanna break his heart and then be the one to stitch it up”. gimme two muses who are absolutely obsessed with each other, they can go from love to hate so quickly it would give anyone else whiplash and they wouldn’t have it any other way. we can make them as crazy as we want to (i seriously mean this, please). muse b “won” the last break-up and now muse a is determined to get them back only to be the one who breaks their heart for the last time. but the game is harder than they think and it’s easy to forget the motive once they’re back together.

lacy. muse a is completely, irrevocably in love with her best friend, muse b. but of course, they won’t talk about it. gimme sapphic codependent doomed relationship where you’re not sure if you want to marry your bestie or just be her. gimme pining as they get ready to go out partying and sleepovers with wandering hands and the desperate desire to get someone’s approval but also the self-hate that comes with needing someone that much when they might not get it. it’s all so angsty and beautiful and intimate.

making the bed. “and i tell someone i love them just as a distraction, and they tell me that they love me like i’m some tourist attraction.” basically a self-sabotaging, heart-breaking plot where muse a and muse b thought they could get into a situationship and keep it casual, without developing real feelings but they obviously failed. i’m thinking it could’ve been a summer or winter love kind of thing that ended up terribly ‘cause they were being overly cautious with their emotions and ended up getting the other deeply hurt. we could begin once they meet again (on the next summer or winter break?) and the damage is already done.

all-american bitch. muse a is completely amazing at playing the “perfect girl” role, always smiling softly and saying the right thing even if it’s just a massive façade. deep inside, she’s full of anger and has a desire to seek revenge (for what, you may ask? idk, let's plot!). then comes muse b, who can see right through her act and is determined to bring out that honest, horrible and mean side of her.

bad idea, right? muse a and muse b broke up recently. it was the right decision, all their friends are happy about it, they were not good for each other. that doesn’t stop the constant texts asking each other to come over, the sneaking during parties for a quickie and the jealousy when they both start going on dates with other people. basically i’m dying for the bitter comments and the falling for each other and the “this is never going to happen again” promises that neither of them believe.

[collidingxworlds]

general roleplay style & preferences

Rules: Repost, don’t reblog. Bold what applies. Italicize what only applies sometimes. Elaborate on any points you’d like with a *.

types of roleplay / how i do threads

i don’t || i just do whatever is on my dash when i’m online || mainly asks || i do little short things mostly || i do my threads on discord || long running threads that slowly build upon the muses

plotting preferences

wing it || get a general idea ooc and then run with it & plot further if need be || long expansive thought out story arcs

types of threads i do / prefer

one-liners only || whatever dash shenanigans i’m online for || para or mulit para || literal novels

reply speed for threads & consistency & keeping threads

i lose threads all the time & don’t usually get back to them || i tend to lose threads but please tell me if i have and i’ll reply || i drop threads pretty easily || i’m really slow but i will get back to you || i reply on a schedule/queue || i usually reply within a week || i usually reply within a month || i reply every day || i reply almost instantly * My reply speed is usually between 2 and 3 weeks, depending on how busy I am, how many drafts I’ve accumulated and on inspiration / mood / available energies. Longer replies usually take longer and I tend to follow inspiration more than a chronological order when choosing what drafts I reply to.

romantic or sexual ships

i don’t do these ships || i’m not against them happening but it is not the main point of my blog || ships will have to be super slow burn & discussed a lot ooc, super chemistry based || i love doing ships, hmu i probably already ship it just ask || i ship really quickly || i autoship or ship within a few interactions || i love shipping but only if there’s good chemistry || i’m single-ship || i have one main ship and others are less likely || depends on the interaction

smut

i do not do smut at all || i’m very selective about it || i only do it on discord || i only do it on a sideblog || i mainly only do asks relating to nsfw headcanons on sundays || i write it a medium amount || i write it all the time and love to || i am comfortable with foreplay and fade-to-blacks but nothing further * I rarely write it as a general rule. It honestly depends on the ship, the interaction, the person I’m writing with, my current mood

active hours

mornings 8-10 | midday 11-1 | afternoon 2-5 | evenings 6-8 | night 9-12 | ungodly hours of the day 1-onwards

activity schedule

super slow and sporadic, like once a month or so || slow and sporadic week long gaps between activity || bi-weeklyish activity || weekly activity || daily activity || i’m online nearly all the time * Very dependent on how busy I am in real life. My level of activity fluctuates A LOT

starters

i don’t do starter calls || i want to do starter calls but often don’t have time || i do selective calls || i don’t do calls, but always feel free to ask me for one! || i do starter calls rarely / regularly / often || i prefer plotting calls

AUs

i don’t do aus || my blog is an au but outside of that i don’t do them || i sometimes do them but only with a lot of plotting || i have a couple of aus already feel free to request them || i have aus coming out of my ears please interact with them || i love making aus hmu to plot if you think of one || there are some aus i won’t do

crossovers

i don’t do crossovers || i’m selective with crossovers || i love crossovers

[twothirdsgenius]

Tell me about love! Are you in love? Do you want to be? Could you live a life without romantic love? Is unrequited love real love?

oh FUCK yeah we’re starting right out the gate babeyyy. warning, I am going to trauma dump here but in my defense this is all shit I’ve worked through in therapy and so it will be a healthy, polished dump of trauma.

I used to be really nervous about the idea of romantic love? Not opposed but literally terrified of it? I grew up in a house with parents who didn’t love each other, and the frequent arguing and fighting I had to listen to at night when they’d thought I was asleep was just the norm, and I didn’t want that at all.

I’m on the ace spectrum somewhere, but I’m still down 100% with being in love with someone who I consider a partner in the romantic sense. I’m accepting applications now, mutuals hmu 🤙🏻

I think there are many types of love we experience through life and that none of them are inherently superior to the other. The only important thing to me is that love exists in some capacity and for that reason, I do think I would be able to live a life without romantic love but I would prefer not to? I think friendship, loyalty, and companionship are what I desire the most out of a romantic relationship, and that can be experienced with or without romance. Deadass, that’s one of the reasons why I latched onto dnp like one of those filter feeding fish who go for rides with sharks and haven’t let go since. My fourteen year old self was like oh shit it’s possible to actually like your significant other and enjoy spending time with them?

Oh boy. Unrequited love. I don’t have any experience with that as a real adult (yet) but I carried a torch for someone for like four years and it was the most cliche fucking thing in the entire world because he was (and still is) one of my best friends. It was the messiest fucking love triangle you’ve ever seen in your entire life but it was also a raging inferno of teenage hormones and our collective untreated mental illnesses and my chaotic messy home life that ended in? Apologies and forgiveness and acceptance and a very kind, easy let-down that hurt a lot less than I expected it to. Was it real love or just infatuation? I honestly still can’t say lmao but whether or not unrequited love is real love or not, it taught me a lot of important lessons about basing my own self-worth on the opinions of other people and we still do very much love and care about each other to this day. It could have been “real” love, but it was super fucking unhealthy and codependent and it almost killed me in a very real, non-metaphorical sense. That isn’t what constitutes real love to me. Real love to me is a choice you make every day and that feels like the right choice every time. It takes effort and things won’t always be 50/50 because we are flawed human beings with our own individual needs and not machines but it shouldn’t feel scary. I don’t want to have to be scared that my partner will punch a hole through the drywall if I say the wrong thing, because that wasn’t an irregular occurrence in my house. As soon as I got my driver’s license, I was as relieved because it meant I could take my brother and sister out of the house and go to Taco Bell or something while we waited for the worst of the fight to be over. I was always scared that I would come home to see either of my parents packing a bag or something even worse. I think with real love, whether it’s romantic or not, it should always feel safe and not used as a weapon.

Shit this got LONG thank you for indulging me and my adhd meds induced talkativeness anon ❤️❤️❤️ lub you

[bixbythemartian]

hey hi hello maybe I can help

I've had full dentures for almost a decade now and I gotta tell you, they fucking changed my life. I'm convinced they saved my life, actually- my teeth were in ROUGH shape, so I'm maybe an outlier, but I really fucking love my dentures.

The part where all my teeth got yanked was, to be frank, extremely not fun (because my nerves in my mouth are not where they should be- nobody's fault- and I declined a refill on pain meds- definitely my fault) but even so, I've never *once* regretted it.

I surprise people when I tell them I have dentures, most people don't notice- they look a lot like my teeth used to.

there are some foods that I have to avoid. chewing gum is just entirely out- even the stuff that's supposed to be denture friendly, I have had just no luck with, it sticks and strings across my mouth and is just impossible and upsetting and bad. anything taffy-like is a no go, as well as chewy caramel. and, for some reason, puffy cheetos always stick like crazy for me. crunchy are fine, though.

depending on where your partial is and how large it is, you may be able to avoid this by just being careful about where you chew, but forewarned is forearmed.

(For me, this was actually a massive improvement, because I couldn't chew anything without a lot of pain, but for someone who is not in such dire straights, it might be a lot more of a hassle. So, you know, heads up about that. with a partial, this also may not be such a big deal, and it's possible there's something unique about my saliva that just makes these things harder for me, who knows?)

the most surprising thing about getting them is that I get phantom tooth pain at odd moments. so if you're dealing with a lot of mouth pain currently, just know that's a thing that can happen. I have no idea how common it is, but it surprised the SHIT out of me the first time it happened, so I wanted to mention it.

my best advice is that if the partial cuts your gums or doesn't fit the way it should, go back and get it refitted. please. I've known a small handful of people who had trouble with their dentures and they all had fit trouble, and they all refused to go get the fit adjusted because they got really in their feelings about having dentures for various reasons.

Partials are a bit different and won't work the same as my dentures, so consult with your dentist about how it should fit and feel- but it should NOT be slicing your gums up. that's bad.

my next best advice is to soak it in a denture tab solution every night. denture tabs are very cheap, you can buy them in bulk, and they are very effective for removing the gunk even if you half ass brushing them. (once a week or so I try to give them a real good once over to make up for the mornings when i didn't bother. plaque can build up on them, usually along the 'gum' line in areas in the back I don't always think to clean when I'm half awake and jamming my teeth in.)

if you like or tolerate mint flavor, try to get the mint flavored kind of denture tabs. the denture solution is kind of gross tasting and I never manage to rinse all of it off, but the mint ones are fine and just a bit minty, I think the mint just overwhelms the bitter grossness of the cleaning chemicals. (it's, like, mostly baking soda I think.)

good luck with your partials, I hope that I helped reassure you a little, and if you have any questions hmu I'm always down to talk about this

when you had to do all your dental stuff did you have to get dentures at at all? I just found out I have to get a partial and I'm having emotions.

I did not; I just have a gap on my lower left, which has mostly filled in on its own due to the nature of my EDS causing all my teeth to shift. I do know that because of my EDS and all my other issues, dentures are unavoidable in my future.

For what it's worth? Dentures have come a long way from what they used to be in terms of how they look and fit. My dad has had dentures from the age of 12 when he fell off a bike and knocked out all his front adult teeth out in the 50s. And the dentures he had even ten years ago are really different from the ones he has now.

And while they can be a little bit extra maintenance, they can also help alleviate so much pain and really help improve quality of life in ways many of us who have lived with chronic teeth issues for so long almost forget about.

I hope whatever work you are getting done goes well and you get some relief soon.