#if you hated this don't tell me lmao
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here's how it goes:
everyone spends valentine's day in DEEP denial. tubbo isn't dead, he CAN'T be. when they die they come back, that's how it is, how it's ALWAYS been. the island is hell but at least fatalities don't stick, except in specific cases and all of them in the same white shells. of course philza jokes, he's thinking about tubbo, he can't stop. he's expecting tubbo to jump out at any moment, he's expecting to go to fobo and see tubbo hidden in the basement throwing darts at a picture of fit and pac looking at each other, he's expecting to go back to the dungeon and the body is gone (he hopes). tubbo's not dead. he can't die. none of them can, just the eggs.
(it never takes this long to come back; he knows something is wrong)
here's how it goes:
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life." the eggs have always had lives. i don't think some of them have ever understood that the players have infinite chances, with their insistence on protecting their caretakers from deaths like their caretakers do for them, charging back into the eye worker war, refusing to back out of a dangerous dungeon before their parents do, wanting to protect. i don't know if they understand that to the players, death is like spit in the face: unpleasant, sure, but no big deal.
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life" and of course they believe him. death is their constant companion, no more than two doors down. some eggs are used to it being a breath away.
here's how it goes:
tubbo is dead. the children mourn him. the players are scared. defiant. they always are. who among them has died? dan, missing; spreen, gone; maximus... well there was no body, no announcement, surely-
(how long did it take pierre to accept it? to realize it? to take down the missing person posters? not a day. not a day.)
juanaflippa died and there was a court case to save her. bobby died and the whole server journeyed to save him. when is the last time the players have taken death lying down?
here's how it goes:
tubbo dies, and he dies unloved (fit's arm is stretched out to save him). he dies without purpose (sunny is there, she's waiting, she knows he won't move). he dies and no one cares (chayanne refuses to leave, his godfather, he failed his-)
here's how it goes:
the valentine's party is so loud but too quiet. there's a name in the air, even when no one is saying it
"wow sure is good tubbo isn't here" phil says (he's said this before, he'll say it again, but isn't it strange how many times? perhaps even he doesn't believe it. perhaps he's trying to convince himself.)
here's how it goes:
a creature with too many faces comes. it tells them the truth they won't face. tubbo is gone.
quesadilla island says, "not for long"
#qsmp#shut up vic#block game brainrot#idk not fully satisfied w this but it's 1:30am where i live and i have work#just had some Thoughts. if you're curious this isn't intended to bash any character#i'm not putting character tags on it bc i don't feel like throwing it to those specific wolves idk how this is gonna go over#just it bothers me how people are acting. wanted to throw some cents in the ring#i feel like people are focusing hard onto their fav's lore and missing the other side so.#tbh was a half attempt at throwing what i got out of it which is hopefully close to both#or at the very least it's Equally Neither Option :)#anyway goodnight from me sweet dreams#if you hated this don't tell me lmao#((yes i tire of angst; woe hope be upon ye))#((me: i'm tired grandpa; the qsmp angsting further: THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD!'))#((maybe i LIKE hope qsmp maybe i LIKE defiance))#((catch me hoping all over the place smh))
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[BREAKING NEWS: GREAT ASTRONOMICAL DISCOVERIES]
teehee you may have seen this coming :3 i love these sillies especially margaret you go girl
(btw i havent listened to the ghosts of antikythera yet so no spoilers plsplspls :3 tyy)
#frongle444rambles#also justice for my man benjamin he did nothing wrong#frongle444art#my art#pulp musicals#the great moon hoax#tgmh#pulp musicals tgmh#rose stratford#samuel stratford#benjamin park#john herschel#margaret cavendish#starcanwreckedpulp#i hate drawing short hair so herschel was actual hell for me :/ i don't hate how it turned out tho!#the constellation is sagitta :3#non-modern clothing my beloathed we pull through bcs brainrot >:3#if anyone actually reads these tags rb with a 🌌 emoji somewhere in ur rb im actually interested#never seen a printing press plate before and google was absolutely zero help so sorry for any historical inaccuracies hehe#in love with the way i draw eyes now omg i love my own art sm and i hope u do too :3#shit just realised rose has a straight across fringe lmao#can you tell im trying to find mistakes in my art :') /hj
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some trinket progress
#flowers are so hard to keep up with in this game 😭#my villagers keep telling me roses don't wilt but they're LIARS#if you don't water the flowers at just the right angle they'll wilt 😞 and there's no indication if you watered them properly or not#like in new leaf they would have a shine nope not this game you just have to cross your fingers chjdhchc#also on the emulator for my phone it is SO HARD to move around so i can't stand in the perfect spot as easy#love this game just hate watering the flowers lmao#my post#animal crossing#animal crossing wild world#acww#trinket
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This was just a little warmup scribble but then I really thought it was a bit pretty so I gave him some jewelry and coloured it in I love you my son they could never make me hate you
#side profiles I WILL capture you. you WILL be a skill I conquer.#art#sketch#digital art#fanart#damian wayne#dc robin#also his hair... still confuses me but at least half the official artists literally do whatever they like so I don't mind#it's getting there tho#i love you dami they could never make me hate you dami#I'm trying to make more variance in noses and ears but can I just suddenly rant#when you search for like ANY type of nose type (for references) 90% of the pictures are before+after surgery promo...#like WHAT.#literally hate to look for references because I'm so embarrassed by this white ass internet#no matter how you look - nose eyebrows eyes mouth jaw hair - you are beautiful#i will study you because you are as beautiful as any flower#or sunset#or stormy sea#ok rant over LMAO#i just get so mad about it#not me sounding like a nice guy 💔💔💔 I'm being genuine it pisses me off so bad#i wish we didn't live in a world that tells you how to be beautiful#I wish that all my friends felt beautiful#SAD HOURS BC THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS UGLY. ONLY CAPITALISM.#you are beautiful! you are!#I'm gonna fix this world by loving everyone#damian al ghul
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i just saw someone call ffxiii overrated like? what?? it's literally one of the most hated games in the franchise wym "overrated" 😭
#they've gotta be butthurt it got 3 games#also saw someone whine about how it shouldn't get a remaster bc ''other ff games deserve a chance'' and i was baffled#xiii and xi are the only mainline ff games that aren't on modern consoles what are you talking about!!!!!!!#i shouldn't be reading random men's comments on ffxiii omg it just makes me peeved lmao#final fantasy xiii#i gotta ramble real quick abt how we don't have a remaster yet actually#it bugs me when people act as if it's because ffxiii was some huge embarrassment for square and that they want to bury it#when it actually sold super well#and lightning became one of the most iconic protags in the whole franchise#not to mention that xiii got TWO SEQUELS that ALSO sold well#AND the combat system has influenced modern ff titles#square doesn't hate xiii omfg get real#but that does make it even more absurd that it doesn't have a remaster yet#some people think it doesn't need one since it still looks so damn good#but it's not really about that lol it's about accessibility and letting it reach a new audience (the pc port is too broken seriously)#something tells me it's because the crystal tools engine was so much of a pain to work with but idk they haven't really explained anything#either way it just annoys me when people claim xiii doesn't deserve a remaster bc ''no one likes it'' when that really isn't true#and calling it overrated is beyond insane
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fellas is it freeing Palestine to send graphic images to American Jews
#ask#silver-the-socialist#“your country” lol. lmao even#I would ask who you think it's helping but the answer is no one#you don't do this kind of thing because you think it's helping. you do it because you're hurting and you want other people to hurt too#which. I shouldn't have to tell you. is a bad response. you shouldn't see suffering and think “how can I make more people suffer”#“I'm suffering because of what's happening in Gaza and I don't think you're suffering enough so I'm going to /make/ you suffer”#it's trite but you really need to focus more on saving what you love than fighting what you hate#and that's all without mentioning the fact that I'm not Israeli and I want a free Palestine but who cares when you can make me a#morally appropriate person to bully#Anyway don't harass this person but definitely do block them
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Okay but also because I'm a pedantic bitch...in relation to that post I just reblogged explaining part of gay-on-gay bigotry...what if some people are just assholes who happen to be gay, or bi or trans? And they're all for oppression or just plain cruelty as long as it's aimed at other people? Like that's also something to consider.
I don't actually think, any longer, that "internalized self-hate projected outward and also suppressed envy for someone who's doing and being all the things you were convinced into not allowing yourself" is...all there is to this phenonemon. And I wish we'd stop fixating on that quite so much just because we want to be frankly, nicer than some of these people have ever deserved. It's always more satisfying on some level, to imagine your enemies as Tortured deep inside (whether it's because you feel a bit malicious or you just want to believe that there's a way to reach out and heal them with kindness.) than to admit that Sometimes They're Just a Shithead.
Now, do I think that complex can be a big part of it? Oh yeah. And of COURSE, different people have different motivations in different amounts and yadda yadda yadda. No group of people, ethnic, gender, political or otherwise is a Monolith. (For one thing, when it comes to these Pick-Me Gay/Trans pundits and Influencers, money and clout should never be left out as an explanation. Just saying.) But that's the point, isn't it? Any ONE explanation can't explain them all completely.
Tbh, I think we need to consider some people are just bullies who happened to be born not cis or straight. And even if they were bullied at one point for their identity, they learned absolutely nothing from the experience except Don't Be On the Social Reject Side. So they moved their thinking just enough that "woman who likes women" "man who likes men" "I just happened o want to be a woman instead, or a man instead despite how I was born" could be put in the Safe category and they fight for that. Everyone else though, is still fair game and even a fair target. Some people don't just want power to escape oppression and live their lives in peace, they WANT to BE the ones oppressing. Like, do we ACTUALLY understand that LGBT people are humans too and that that includes the bad side?
It tracks a lot better too, when you consider that a lot of people like the masc4masc gays are openly racist and fatphobic. "No fems" Yes but also "No fats. No Asians." Christ, I could think of countless examples of white thin (and sometimes but not necessary cis) queer people doing that sort of thing. I'm sure y'all can too. This idea of some poor lost soul Tormented by Self Hate and Envy of the Freedom of Others doesn't do shit to explain that. Like, even if the two things coexist and they can, it doesn't explain that part.
I honestly just think the uglier but more accurate truth is that lot of queer people aren't all Hashtag Gay or Trans Rights or aren't Liberal out of any sense of justice AT ALL but only self-interest. Being an activist because you're a member of an oppressed group is like, entirely normal and fine of course BUT it becomes real clear when someone's framework of ethics and politics is PURELY "I think me (and people I personally like and approve of) being oppressed is bad" and literally not one inch deeper.
You can tell because if it was deeper, why would they find it so easy to turn around to a fellow queer/trans person to jeer at and humiliate and throw them under the bus if they think they're a Deadweight to the group by being a Weirdo I Don't Want to Stand Next to, Eww...or if they just don't personally like them? Why have you clearly spent absolutely no time unpacking any of the prejudice and biases around gender sexuality (or GOD FORBID race) that society throws at you.. at least no more time than it takes to rationalize yourself out of the category of Should Be Destroyed and Oppressed?
We are not immune from this sort of terminally self-interested activism. I just feel like we'd get a lot further as a society, as a community, if sometimes our analysis of bullies and assholes didn't fixate on finding some deep pain and trauma inside them, to explain their actions in a way that makes them look more tortured and less malicious (even if we say, even mean, that it's not supposed to be an excuse). Sometimes people are just racist, or fatphobic. Sometimes lesbians or gay men or bi or trans people just want to be judgmental bullies too.
Sometimes the reality isn't Tragic Villain Backstory. Sometimes, its just a selfish, deeply pathetic person refusing to become any less, because it's easier not to; even if you had a unique chance to see how the other side lives, a chance your straight cis bully peers didn't get by virtue of their identities.
#(same mentality as women who think every abortion is evil besides theirs. Freedom for me not for thee#ppl act like that's so shocking I used to. But now I'm just like...well have we considered Selfishness?#these women only rationalized and unpacked enough to make an exception for themselves.#and then actively refused to learn a thing from the experience. They carried on being as misogynistic as ever#judging all other women and claiming pregnancy is an appropriate punishment for not doing Everything Right#(except when its me). you can tell by that. They just happen to be misogynists with self-interest#human beings have an AMAZING ability to do all kinds#of mental gymnastics to believe things that contradict each other#we're not rational creatures. Accept this now and many more things will make sense this is an order. ANYWAY)#plus imo this Self Loathing theory fails to explain that not every feminine woman or masculine man#hates their gender presentation? Like yeah a lot of the makeup and diet culture is awful but#there are always gonna be ppl who want to dress a certain way regardless of societal pressure#making it exponentially harder to detangle where your Genuine Wants end and that begins.#the downsides of being social animals. And I guess I just don't know who's served#by pretending that's not a thing. The older i get the more i think we need to be careful before#our honest attempts to explain why peoole fight for systems/things that cause them trouble turn into infantilization#it's very possible to turn condescending and infantilizing going all Oh People Don't Know What's Best For Them#They're All Brainwashed. Give oppressed people the agency to be assholes too#plus it just leaves these ppl the opportunity to go I Don't Hate Myself#lmao loser.' Whereas 'you're just an asshole who doesn't care about anyone but yourself getting hurt'#is while not something they might be swayed by or care about a lot harder to refute.#we can't always know what goes on in people's heads. Going by their actions is helpful tho
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I am so easily distracted by sad monster men with beautiful hair and claws and perhaps a large sword
#textpost#Hold one out in front of me like pspspspsp and you can get me to do tricks#Siegfried needs to be more fucked up he like drank evil dragon blood and you can't even tell#I can make him worse#I still don't know his lore outside of that lmao but I wanna get to it in the game and not just read it on the wiki#There was untranslated Japanese text on the wiki and they do fan translations on there#I had to close the tab I can't cheat on Guilty Gear sorry Granblue Fantasy gacha game#My grandma used to have an absolute unit of a Maine coon named Siegfried that hated everyone#and it's an uncommon enough name that I still associate it with that cat#We called him Ziggy lol#So when I see Siegfried Granblue I do think of Siegfried Cat pretty often#He was grey with tabby markings and had a huge poofy tail lol#The only time he ever let me pet him was when he got really old. Rest in peace you grumpy bastard [affectionate]....
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DM, on getting together to talk about backstory stuff I have to have him build with me: I might need to ask a few more questions about Felix and also what drives him besides curiosity
me: is curiosity not enough??
also me: well the other major thing was supposed to be solving this mystery that I asked for your cooperation with six months ago and have never gotten any input on
#me building felix in 2022: this guy will be actively and strongly driven by curiosity so I can get him into pretty much any situation#dm: sure but what's he REALLY after. so I can figure out how to put him in a situation.#yeah I guess I wouldn't expect someone incapable of curiosity himself to recognize that as a valid driving force! my bad!!#he's NOSY and he's KIND and BRAVE. what more does he need!! haven't you ever seen a detective show! haven't you seen scooby doo!!#I mean I've finally sufficiently chewed upon the lad to figure out at least SOME of his underlying Stuff and what makes him tick#so I have a better and fuller understanding of various Whys of his behavior and a little more depth and nuance for choices#but like if you're looking for like... a lust for treasure or a revenge quest or something like that idk what to tell you dude lmao#a specific diagetic thing ABOUT felix is that he generally doesn't HAVE a more specific drive than This One Mystery; he's drifting#how about you work with the character you're given. while weaving your fictions. how about that.#man to be fair I reserve judgement on this backstory until we've at least talked about it but#I still really hate and resent that the one PC whose backstory needs a lot of involvement from the DM got stuck with this one#I don't WANNA let you do it. I don't trust you with it :')
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KNEW IT apparently this one girl at work that's left now hated me so much she would complain about me every single shift. that's so fucking funny
#her main complaint was that my first day w her#she thought I was new and so she was offended when I was...... leading the shift..... as a shift lead.....#but like an hour in I said hey jsyk I left for a few months but I Am a trainer so you don't have to like. explain anything to me it's good#AND FOR MOOOONTHS SHE HELD THIS GRUDGE#bc she thought I was a new person telling her what to do for an HOUR#shed apparently bring this up DAILY#IKEGEEHJSDJJSSK??????#god she was so annoying too like lmao get fucked I hope you do hate me it's mutual babes#she'd refuse to do her job and question literally every suggestion I gave her like. okay! wasn't asking! do it 🔪🔪🔪
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I am going to slap you myself
#WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS#the conversation is flying over both their heads because they are saying entirely different things#wwx: it was such a huge blow to me. Losing my golden core was the stuff of nightmares. I do not want to recall that. I want to move on#what jc hears: Get Lost shidi. I no longer want to see your face#jc: I want to hate you so bad. Why can't I hate you? Haven't you broken my heart enough? Why couldn't you just TELL me anything? Why.#what wwx hears: JC can't deal with the fact that I wwx who did everything terrible am actually responsible for his achievements. His pride#took a huge blow. Damn. Better tell him that I don't actually mind lmao#[grimly said while looking at the wwx papercraft I have hanging on my bedroom wall.]#[actually what many do miss is that deep down there are multiple times WWX actually does understand JC's thing. He understands the pride as#a cultivator. He understands how horrifying the self sacrifice must have been (see: wq and wn). He just doesn't like thinking about it for#very long in this life. Sigh]#mdzs#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mo dao zu shi#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#kk's rambles tag
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The sick feeling you get in your stomach as an undiagnosed/closeted autistic hearing friends/loved ones make fun of or talk about "what's wrong with" the openly autistic people you know
#sometimes I think about telling certain people and then I'm reminded why I shouldn't <3#em rambles#autism#autistic#actually autistic#autistic things#ableism#even the people who do know are still iffy sometimes like you may think 'I usually don't get along with autistic people' is a compliment bu#it just makes me uncomfortable lmao#idk it's just like. yeah I don't 'seem' autistic with great intentionality around certain people because they've shown#me how unsafe it is lmao#I just hate that people think you're just quirky and different until you put the autistic label on it then there's something WRONG with you#or say you couldn't be autistic because there's nothing WRONG with you you're not THAT bad you're not LIKE THAT#I mean like. ideally I would like me telling people to expand people's ideas of what an autistic person looks/acts like but the sad reality#is that it'll just end in either disbelief or bullying#most likely#you know in ratatouille when remi thinks humans aren't so bad and then his dad shows him that shop with the dead rats and rat poison and#traps and the next morning remi tries walking down the street and people scream and throw stuff at him and call rats disgusting creatures#and he says 'I was reminded how fragile it all was'#that's the vibe as a closeted autistic lmao#you find people who accept you and think maybe it's not that dangerous. maybe it'd be okay#and then other people remind you why you mask in the first place#my autism is the rat hiding inside my hat
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'oh I cannot say horrible things because of the Woke' well boo hoo, I cannot say mean things about bands I dislike because they love my show and will beat me up if I slag them off
#is this autobiographical? Is this about somebody else? You tell me#for starts this is actually true about being on radio. I cannot openly shit on certain bands for things like. Never getting my name right#because they listen to and love my show#but also#this is about Dave Masterman quickly cutting in with 'members of the 1975 listen to this show' when Elis and John were about to spout off#about Matty Healy (and presumably Dave was giving them warning daggers with his eyes)#this is about Coldplay's agent phoning up Noel Fielding to say he's too mean about them#this is about whatever the fuck Simon Amstell was on half the time#this is about all the bands Bob Mortimer hates LMAO#this is about James Acaster having to watch his mouth because he has Too Many thoughts about music and half of said music either#loves him or has been interviewed by him about his book on 2016 music#(this is also about the fact that I think our local superstar producer's daughter's music is way overhyped lol.#I can't say that on air; she's my guest next week! But if you like 70s tinged funky bedroom pop I guess...)#Don't breathe a word. Sshh.#music#comedy#comedians#British comedy#radio#radio hosts#pop stars#Britcom#Noel Fielding#Simon Amstell#Elis James#John Robins#Elis and John#Bob Mortimer#James Acaster#the 1975
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"He's put you on his leash, treats you like his pet. You really don't see that?" "That's not- he's not like that. We're just really close." "...Really?"
#this one went through like 3 revisions cause I absolutely hated how it looked#know that I am posting this as a sign of me giving up lmao#rhack#rhys strongfork#handsome jack#borderlands#SPrenders#your honor rhys is a bit delulu if he thinks this relationship is getting anywhere#or is he? >:) I don't know you tell me
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at what point should one go and get tested for ocd...................
#i seem to have a bit of a thing with checking things#and when i say a bit i mean it's getting very annoying#i don't actually even want to tell what i need to check the most bc it's fucking embarrassing#BC I KNOW I DON'T NEED TO CHECK IT I KNOW THAT I KNOW#AND YET.#I STILL HAVE TO FUCKING DO IT#HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#i hate it#and anyway doesn't skin picking go under ocd too#idk#i did actually once bring it up already with my psych but aaand she did agree with me but that was literally like at the end of the session#buuut i don't go there consistently yk so i just didn't have the chance to talk more abt it#but ii don't know sometimes i think that oh but what if others do the same and i'm just overthinking it#but . unfortunately the thing i need to check the most simply cannot be a normal thing lmao i am finding it very hard to believe that#that's something you guys do aswell#but then again#maybe#IDKK#weird it's weird#but it does bother me so fucking much#hhhhhhhhhhh#mayor of loserville
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A friend is trying very hard to convince me to start donating plasma (he gets a referral bonus if he signs someone up) and ngl the idea of using it to pay for less important things like books and art commissions is appealing if only for the fact that I get to say "Yeah I'm paying for this with blood money"
#Seta Speaks#My disposable income is gradually being syphoned off by the slew of wedding-related things I'm doing this year#Bachelorette parties wedding gifts travel costs.......it weighs on the bitch y'know?#I'm always money-conscious but the desire to funnel money into superfluous purchases is STRONG lately#Though-- and I did tell my friend this-- the sell on getting me to donate plasma sounds very much like getting signed up for an MLM lmao#But he did say he made $500 a month last month so idk many getting a blood-based debit card might be something in my future#Another bar for art commissions specifically-- I am a lot more private than I think people give me credit for#And I hate giving out my personal info as a result. Literally the biggest bar in not already getting a commission is because of this#I don't want you knowing my real name I don't want you knowing my email I want none of it#Unless we're very close and then MAYBE you get first name rights only but that's a BIG maybe#Musings at 9 AM I guess lmao
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