#if you guys are interested ill drop my uni au

[cosmicvaca]

Happy New Year!! My first drawing of the year! He looks so at peace here my sweet son 💚🥲

This is from a reference sheet Im making of Nori's tattoos and pecrings for my jotakak university AU that lives rent free in my head and Im might not even post it.

[jayflrt]

🎀 update since it’s been a while

haiiiii i haven’t been on tumblr in 5ever. i feel like im only ever on here now when u update LMAO. speaking of LIVING for jay/yn. it’s AMAZE. i’m also every excited for the next update. but anywho how have you been! we haven’t spoke in forever i really can’t remember what my last update was abt so im just gonna skim thru things!

like since the start of this year ive been SUPERERRR into f1 so i made a podcast! (podcast in question is my cf on my spam account 🥸) 😅😅 i’ve always liked it because my brother did but i’ve gotten more into it. i also took a listen to romance untold and it’s SO good my favs r defff moonstruck and royalty 🔥.

lowk this summer has been chill like any other. i went to a couple parties with my friends but then after that not much happened. there’s no guy updates bc unfortunately my life is no longer a wattpad story because that was very hard on my emotions 😅😅. i’ve lowk sworn off relationships for a while. obviously not completely but i don’t know recently a friend pointed out to me that whenever im in one its very tolling on my emotions and it’s not good so i don’t want that to happened again. i was also just not in a good place when arsal/cameron/marcus happened. REST ASSURED I AM BETTER NOW!!! #weUP

about my friends it’s going nice! we’re kinda doing our own thing since it’s the summer however one of them, m (i think i name drop too comfortably on here), recently started talking (ish) to a guy and she’s kinda obsessed with him. like it’s in a weird way in where she full blown cancelled plans that we made like 5 days prior just bc she had last minute plans with him so 😃😃😃😃 i’m so happy for her!! (NOT). i have to be honest there’s nothing wrong with him other than the fact he looks like he SNUCK ONTO EARTH WHEN THEY FIRST WALKED ON THE MOON. so 🤗🤗🤗🤗

i have been writing a LOT more recently. like not even just because it’s kpop i don’t know i get the inspiration to write and just open a google docs document. like for instance one of them the plot is mc breaks up with sunghoon and becomes closer to heeseung but plot twist! they’re in a band and there’s DRAMAA 🔥🔥🔥. and then another one is where mc and jake r ENEMIES bc her dog tried impregnating jake’s dog at a dog park 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥. one of them is a sunghoon fic that’s heavily inspired by cmbyn (MINUS THE GROOMING) the other is a jay prank call au where he calls her bc he remembers his highschool sweetheart and she doesn’t even spare him a thought 🔥🔥🔥🔥. there’s a single dad sunghoon au somewhere in there. MY GOOGLE DOCS IS COOKING.

however i don’t think i could ever post it to tumblr. maybe one day when anyone is interested ill send in a little snippet of one of them 🤗 or dm u one of them and reveal my identity 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮. but i don’t know! i’ve tried writing on tumblr before but i was in highschool when i tried soooooo. i also think that im just too busy. maybe one day when im not so busy 🔥.

but yeah that’s really it 🤗🤗. but update me if anything cool is happening in ur life. r YOU having a hot girl summer. i also think u said you went on a trip recently (?) IDK. but pleeeekkk update me - 🎀

hihi 🎀 anon !! omg please i'm honored you're sticking around to update me 🥹 they're MUCH appreciated i love reading them <3 and thank you sm for tuning into yfi786 🥰🥰

omg i have a few friends who are super into f1 too!! the races look like they must be so fun to go to :') YKWW the close friends story podcast is always sm more fun to tune into than an actual podcast 🙂‍↕️ my fav rn is brought the heat back it's just been playing in my head 24/7 and that vocal run from jay hello!!!! moonstruck and royalty are SO good though they're definitely up there for me too

i'm glad your summer's been chill !! it's always nice to just have time to unwind before getting back to the uni grind 🥲 honestly relationships/situationships can take so much out of you mentally so i'm glad you don't have to feel that way anymore!! and im glad you get to spend the summer with your friends 💗

OMG NOOOO YOUR FRIEND NEEDS TO RUN FOR THE HILLS 😭 why would she cancel your guys plans like that?? LMFAOOO PLS we're always losing an angel to an ugly man 😞💔 no that's so upsetting tho :( i hope she gets over him he's not worth cancelling plans with friends over!!!!

omg wait SLAY 😌 the rush of writing inspiration always feels so so good and i hope it lasts a long time for you!!! HELP NOT THE DOGS MATING AT THE PARK 😭 but okay i see you grinding through those plots!!! 🔥 the google drive is being FED and oml if you ever feel like sharing,, my asks are open 🤭 also yeah that makes sense!! i don't bother with aesthetics because it's just sooo time consuming,, like don't get me wrong i'd love to have a super cute theme and stuff but it's def a lot of work :')

omg yes i went on a little trip with my friends :')) we did that thing where we pulled our vacation plan out of a hat LMFAO but it was fun!! i'm very sick of flying tho! 🫤 NO hot girl summer just hot corporate slave summer 😩 i have been trying to pick up new hobbies though because i just dropped my habit of doomscrolling on tiktok 🤧

[unironicduncanstan]

[UNI’S LPS LORE DROP BITCH]

so ,,, i used to collect littlest pet shop (mostly the 1st and 2nd gen ones bc yall i am old) and theyre long gone now but. these are some of the lps i remember playing with and giving distinct personalities growing up. most of them didnt have names at all so im just referring to them with numbers and pictures. also warning it gets pretty Dark bc weird kid culture but here we go;;;

the first is #11 and #86. they were my absolute FAVORITES, a mother and daughter duo, a lot of their stories revolved around the kitten getting lost and the mom having to get to her, or the kitten dying and the mom having a mental breakdown. 11 mostly acted as a single mom but sometimes id cycle out different potential dads, usually the dog lps bc i did Not care abt the actual scientific lack of interspecial breeding possibilities

#25. a basic white picket fence ass dude, really common choice as the ‘dad’ in the above situation, he also was not immune to being ‘killed off’ for angst. was also cheated on a couple times by 11 (THOSE WERE AUS THO,,, DONT CANCEL HER ITS OK TO KEEP STANNING)

#200. she was #11s best friend, I think her name might have been hannah??? anyways if the mom and dad were killed off sometimes she’d “adopt” #86. but usually only after #86 fell into the custody of a terribly neglectful parent for a while and had to be rescued bc again, in my gay neurodivergent little brain peace was never an option

#487. another love interest for #11, usually competed with #25 in an almost edward vs jacob type battle of cool brooding boy and average mcfamily man. he was a big fav

#672. number #487s sister! usually either helped him get #11 like a wingman, or i’d flip the cards and make her manipulative and sabotage 11 bc she didnt think she was good enough for her brother. the personality switches id give characters were rly like. getting the bad ending in a video game,

#44. YET ANOTHER,, LOVE INTEREST FOR THAT ONE CAT,,,, but it was one sided and he always lost. poor friend zone ass simp im sorry man idk why you deserved that 😔 i think sometimes though id pair him with #200/hannah at the end. cant get the girl date her best friend idk i was 8 my morals were not always applicable to the adult situations i created

#14. SO I,,,, i ended up with three of these. and in the end i made them triplets that performed for the circus and were unhappy in their life of exploitation. i think sometimes they would. form a sui pact to escape their torment.

#137. HIS NAME WAS FUCKEN CHEESE

Groovy goat / unnumbered. I remember she was spanish to me but spoke mostly english, this decision was made bc i was an extremely white american child, and she was almost always involved somehow in a story bc she was my favorite design ever. anyways she usually was a model that would give a struggling lps a ‘makeover’ like that one scene in any dramatic disney live action film ever made

#464. another fav bc of her design omg. she was like a little sweetheart and would often play the role of ‘baby’ for any species i didnt already have designated ‘babies’ for. BUT, when i’d play with the other hamsters (we’ll get 2 them in a sec), i made them all the same age and theyd all crush on her at the same time lmao the DRAMA

#34, #35, #36. they were brothers and in order from left to right;;; biggest brother and a leader+positive role model, then the punkish middle brother that didnt like to listen and would often get them all in trouble, then the youngest nerdy brother that was naive and soft and did w/e he was told. they stuck together thru all their antics, except when #464 was involved, then theyd have a classic ‘fighting over a girl then realizing thats ridiculous’ arc. rly loved these guys cuz i always wanted a hamster so id pretend they were real animals sometimes too loL

#693. i got thsi in a mcdonalds happy meal but anyways she was a princess/queen/whatever and was very spoiled royalty. probably tried to behead some of the other lps idk. all she wanted was drama and money

#112. punk boy,,, usually paired with one of the ‘popular’ girls,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, oh my god did i government assign this dog duncan kin b4 td even existed yet

#48, #79 #42. !! HUGE FUCKEN BITCH ALERT !! (popular girls trio lol), i think a couple times i like, aged down #11 and got rid of the kitten for a ~highschool au~ where these girls bullied her but she ofc ended up stealing the middle ones man. and then other times i just paired the middle girl with #112 in a genuine ‘opposites attract’ ship . where were u guys when i was making duncney lps a thing tbh

#59. i love this guy but he was just an eccentric dork and mostly used for comedic effect

#43. love interest for #59 that he goofily fawned over till he eventually got the girl at the end of every story bc i loved cliches

#673. usually a mysterious adventurous girl from out of town that meets the mains in my story and befriends them/helps them out. also a close friend of the groovy goat character

“Paws off diary” Bull Terrier. ok this ones weird but he came in this lil electronic diary right (you can google how it looks to see what i mean) and there was this like, plastic bubble on top that he came in and you could stick him or any other lps in there and shut it securely cuz it was a diary so i. used it as like. a prison almost where id trap lps and the other characters had to ‘save’ them like they were rescuing a princess from a tower or smth. but it was usually just this lil guy. also he was given a name but i was kinda cheating skjdfsdf it was, “Max” bc that was always his name in the commercials for the diary--

#646 and #647, twin orphans separated at birth. did a lot of princess and the pauper esque ‘long lost siblings from different worlds’ reunion stories with these two

#94. so this one came with a head bandage and a little medical looking case to carry them in. i used the carry case as like an ‘ambulance’ or med helicopter to put ‘sick’ pets in and carry them to the hospital, and this pet had chronic illness so they were always the roommate patient at the lps hospital.

#10 and #142, the goldfish couldnt be taken out of the bowl if i remember correctly so. he felt sad and isolated but the seahorse was his best friend who was able to go anywhere so id stick him in the bowl with him a lot to hang out n make him feel better. solidarity

#463. i LOVED her design, so i used her a lot as just a friend to whoever i was playing with. she was also one of the bigger birds so shes the only one i remember really utilizing as a ‘this character can literally fly’ plot device. she also might have been magic i dont remember. ik whenever i did the circus story she was always in it

#37, #38 and #39. i lost the ‘girl’ one early on, like completely lost it and never found it again so idk what happened to it. so the story was the other two were brothers in a constant search for their long lost sister. sometimes id either have another lps be their sister or make a ‘found family’ trope out of somebody

#331. i had two of these and they come with little hats but i lost one of the hats so. evil twin story babey the regular one was a nice old pirate guy but the one with the hat was evil and nobody could ever tell the difference

#641, IM THE TRASH MAN! I START EATIN GARBAGE,

[notquitejiraiya]

Chess [3] - {ShikaTema AU}

[Read Part 1 Here], [Read Part 2 Here]

Two updates in two days. I’ve had the time and the drive, so why not? I hope you all enjoy this chapter - it was a LOT of fun to write, to be honest.

Thanks for taking the time to read it. Enjoy!

CHAPTER THREE

“So, how was it?”

Temari threw her bag and keys down on the table and gawked as she saw her younger brother lounging across her sofa. “Kankuro, that’s my lasagna!”

“It was in the freezer,” he laughed back, shovelling the food into his mouth with reckless abandon. He preceded to mumble with his mouthful. “It wasn’t labelled. It’s mine now.” With a gulp, he turned around fully, grinning. “Unless you want it back.”

“As if I want it back.” For the thousandth time today, Temari rolled her eyes. “You have mince in your teeth by the way. God, when did you become so gross?”

“I am not gross. Grab me a beer.” When his sister scowled, the younger man smiled hopefully, adding a feeble, “Please?”

She laughed, shuffling over to the fridge to grab her brother and herself a can each, before lobbing one his way and cracking hers open. “You owe me at least one-pound-fifty for that lasagna. Maybe two-quid.”

“Two quid?” Kankuro seemed offended at the demand, almost snarling. “Two bloody pounds for a medium sized plate of mediocre lasagna? I don’t fucking think so, Tem.”

“The hell do you mean ‘medium sized’ and ‘mediocre’. Piss off you ungrateful sod, it wasn’t even for you.” Temari groaned as she kicked her shoes off and hurled herself over to the sofa next to him. “Where’s Gaara?” She stuck her finger into the tomato sauce on the side of his plate, and immediately Kankuro snatched it away.

“Who cares? Stop eating my lasagna and answer my question.”

“Your lasagna?” she argued, bemused. “No, I don’t bloody think—”

“Oh, just shut up and tell me how your day went.” He turned down the TV, virtually to mute and stared at her. “How was your first batch of weird—”

“Kankuro, don’t,” she warned. “Don’t be a dick; you know they’re not weird.”

He frowned, saddened. “Sorry. It’s just ever since you told me about the guy who came into your uni who said he constantly heard seagulls, it’s hard to think of anything else.”

“I get it, but there’s nothing weird about mental illness,” insisted Temari. Nothing upset her more than when people treated those who’d lost their way or were confused like they were weird, and nothing made her want to punch her little brother more than hearing him make the same sad joke for the thousandth time.

“Okay.” Kankuro placed his plate on the coffee table and sat back. “I’m sorry. But how was it? Anyone interesting?”

“I can’t tell you specifics, Kankuro. It’s utterly against the confidentiality code that comes with the job—”

“No, I know, but I’m asking how you found it.”

“Um,” she faltered, wondering how best to phrase mostly-shit-with-good-moments, without mentioning her undoubtedly favourite patient of the day. “Well, I guess it was okay.”

“Years of training and you guess it was okay?”

“Well, to be honest, Kankuro, I didn’t expect to be shat on and yelled at by the first few of them.” She could see the smile developing on his face, and quickly shot it down with a glare. “No, not literally shat on. You’re such a child.”

“Sorry,” he giggled, reaching back over for his plate. “So it was crap, basically?”

Temari shook her head, taking a long swig from her beer can. “No, no, not completely.” She gave it. “Mostly shit, yes, but with good moments.” Yeah, that really was the only way to get her exact feeling across. “The last three were pretty nice to me, actually. At first I wanted to punch one of them, but that subsided. It’s tough for them, after all—nobody really wants to be there.”

Solemnly, Kankuro nodded. “No, they don’t. It must be especially tough if you’re forced to go. I mean…” He paused for a moment, chewing as he thought. “I’m sure they’re forced out of love, but I can imagine that at first it won’t feel that way.”

With a small giggle, Temari got to her feet and headed for the fridge.

“What?”

She just kept smiling, rooting around the shelves until she found a microwave meal with Kankuro’s name on it. “You’re the one who’s a weirdo.”

“Oi, what? Why?”

“Because one minute you’re being stupidly insensitive, and the next you’re being really empathetic. You really are ‘both a nightmare and a daydream’.” Her grin grew.

“Hey, no!” He winced. “You can’t keep throwing that back at me, okay?”

“Are we teasing him about Ana’s poem again?” sounded a voice from the hallway. “Brilliant.”

“Shut up, Gaara!”

“I certainly won’t, ‘prince of splintering wood’!”

Temari couldn’t bite down on her lip much harder than she was, trying to hold back her laughter.

“It’s not fair. Temari’s last boyfriend wrote her a song, and nobody teased her about that!”

“Yeah,” retorted Gaara, “but it wasn’t actually bad at all.”

“And it was before we split up,” the blonde added, smirking.

Gaara nodded in agreement, blatantly ignoring Kankuro’s desperate hand motions and groans to drop the subject. He’d picked on them enough, and the bitter break-up poem that Kankuro’s ex-girlfriend had written about him provided the pair with their chance to fight back. “Why on earth did she think it was a good idea to write that?”

“And why did she put it up on YouTube?” Temari put her food in the microwave and leant against the counter, arms crossed as she smiled at her youngest brother. “It has like three-thousand views now, you know?”

Kankuro slumped back into his chair, sulking.

“Yeah, I know,” chuckled Gaara. “At least a thousand of those are me.”

She tried to stifle another laugh.

“Tem?”

“Yeah, Gaara?”

“Three-thousand-and-one?”

“Oh, yes, I think maybe we should—”

“Okay, enough!” Kankuro called out, through gritted teeth. “You guys really know how to give it, don’t you?”

The redhead shrugged as he turned his attention to the kitchen table and the fruit bowl in the centre. “As do you, ‘soul with the skin of a conker’.” He played with an apple between his hands. “Ana really didn’t leave anything out did she? She wanted it to be very clear it was you she was talking about.”

“And that you were particularly spiky,” added Temari.

“Tem,” Kankuro pleaded, from his hiding place behind the cushions, “your whole job is to stop people feeling like shit. Got to admit, you’re crap at it.”

“You’re not my patient.”

“No, I’m not. But I am your brother.”

“Exactly.”

Gaara nodded to her and raised his apple up as if to get her attention. “Oh, how was your day then?”

“Clearly not as good as yours,” interrupted their brother, the only person unwelcome to the conversation. “You’re far too cheerful these days. Where’s gloomy old Gaara gone who was too cool and too kind to gang up on his big brother?”

All Temari had to do was clear her throat for him to snap his head in her direction. “After living through so many years of being ganged up on by said big brother, are you really surprised he fights back?”

“Yeah, but he never used to have a sense of humour.”

“Have you considered that maybe after all the weight Dad put on his shoulders lifted that things might’ve got a little bit lighter—easier—for him?”

“He is also stood right here.” Gaara took a bite out of his fruit, uncomfortable with the rising tones of his sibling’s voices.

“I’m sorry,” Temari sighed. “I’m glad you’re free to be how you want now, Gaara.”

“So am I, man; I swear.” His older brother put his thumb up. “I just sometimes miss you being the mediator.”

Temari raised her eyebrows, gasping. “Ooh, Kankuro…big word.”

“Look, I’m not stupid—”

“We know, we know,” she giggled. “After all you earn a heck of a lot more money than we do, and you do manual labour all day—I certainly wouldn’t be up for that. I like my comfy chair, my toffees and my chess matches much better, thank you.”

The microwave, very loudly, screamed ping.

The brothers frowned at her, leaning toward their sister with confusion. “Chess matches?” Kankuro enquired before Gaara could finish his mouthful. “You’re a therapist, or psychiatrist—whatever it is you choose to call it—why were you playing chess?”

Quickly she span around and opened the microwave, hoping the smell of ready-made, packeted curry would wake her brain up; tell her what to say. “Well,” she gulped, “I put a chess board in my office just for show, to be honest. You know I like to play, or at least I used to like to play with Baki—we all did—and I thought it’d make the room look more professional. But I actually played today against one of my patients.”

“And…” Kankuro took a sip of his beer, his eyes trained on her constantly. For the first time he seemed actively interested rather than just polite and supportive for the sake of it.

“And it got him to talk when he otherwise wouldn’t,” she mumbled, smiling faintly.

“Was that the one that—”

“That I wanted to punch at first? Yeah. But he was okay; it’s not his fault.” Kankuro nodded slowly, looking down at his lap. She smiled at Gaara, who looked proudly at her for her efforts, and she felt warm inside—suddenly she felt like she had done well, or at least a good deed for the day. Gaara’s smile, the happy face of her once tiny little brother, always made Temari feel like she was a worthy big sister, and that she’d done a good job. She lifted her can to her lips, taking a sip as she did.

“Was he hot?”

Temari spluttered, almost spitting out the small amount of beer in her mouth. “Kankuro, what the hell?”

“Well,” he shrugged, “you did the girly melty eye thing you do.”

“I did not!” she shouted. “Gaara, tell him I didn’t!”

Feebly, Gaara screwed up his nose and shrugged. “You kinda did. In the same way you do when we see the dog rescue shelter adverts on TV.”

“That’s because I feel sorry for them, not because I think they’re hot for crying out loud!”

“But you do think he’s hot,” Kankuro insisted. “You’re fanning yourself with the tea-towel. You always do that when you’re nervous.”

Damn them for knowing me so well, she thought. But I don’t think he’s that hot. Well, maybe a little bit, but only in that sort of…see it and agree kind of way. He’d my patient it’s not like I’m going to jump him. That’d be totally inappropriate.

“What colour hair does he have?” the youngest brother quizzed. “Dark?”

She silently glared back.

“I’m sorry. I was just wondering.”

Temari let out a massive sigh and pulled a fork from the draw behind her. “Black. Like, really really dark black. And it was in a ponytail, messy. He completely didn’t look in a mirror while he was doing it.”

“Yeah, you’re totally into him.”

“Kankuro!”

“Don’t lie to me,” he shot back, laughing.

“I’m not! He’s a patient; it would be totally inappropriate.” She grumbled and took a bite of her food, drooping her shoulders. When she’d finished her mouthful she sighed, mumbling, “Yes, he’s a handsome guy, but I’m not attracted to him. Like I said, he’s a patient.”

Regretfully, Gaara and Kankuro exchanged a look and dropped the subject, and Gaara strode towards his brother and fell down beside him on the sofa. As she watched them chat about their days between the pair of them, leaving her to eat in peace, she couldn’t help but notice how lucky she was to have such a family: one that cared about her so much they didn’t have to tell her because she already knew. Her siblings really were such an important part of her life, and they’d shaped who she was today.

When she saw Kankuro down the remains of his beer, she flicked open the fridge to check there were eggs and bacon inside for her brother’s fry up the next morning, and immediately she knew what he next question would be for Shikamaru Nara when she saw him again.

No, if she saw him again. It wasn’t certain, after all.

Still, she had an inkling that he wasn’t the same as her; he seemed like an only child. Not in the stereotypical brattish way seen so often, the sad and lonely way that makes you feel like nobody is the same as you. It was something she desperately wanted to know and to understand, because it’s something she would never feel, but felt so sorry that anyone had to. She’d always had her brothers and they’d always had her. No matter what, they always would.

And despite their differences in height, hair colour and even gender, they were the same at heart, because they’d all had the same life growing up to some degree. That was something that bound them to one another that an only child, one as alone and miserable Shikamaru, hadn’t the chance to feel.

Nothing seemed sadder to Temari, than the thought of such loneliness. Because despite, how they’d changed and how they drove each other up the wall, nobody understood her like her brothers did, and nobody ever would. To be without them, even with all the friends in the world, would leave her companionless in that special way.

[sweetnestor]

Story of Another Us | Week 1, Part 1

university au, platonic af

You hit me faster than I heard.

“Are you gonna be okay with him?” Mark asked me. “I can tell him that you already left, and I’ll just drop him off.”

It was very tempting, the butterflies in my stomach and mild tightening in my chest relaxed at the thought of going to uni alone. But the doctor’s orders were to try something different and push my limits. Mark trusts him, and I trust Mark. Plus, I do have classes with the guy, and we’ll be sleeping in the same house. So I can’t exactly avoid him.

“I’ll be fine,” I responded. “I’ll take him.”

Mark smiled. “Good. Come on.”

I already spent the weekend being avoidant. Jack arrived on Saturday, Mark had invited me over so we could properly meet, but I made an “up all night editing my video” excuse. Then I spent yesterday “packing” so I could come here the next day. Which is today. So now I have no choice, really.

Mark had his arm around my waist as he walked me downstairs. I was still incredibly nervous. I was always nervous with new people, especially people my boyfriend valued. You could say I was dreading this day. It’s not that I didn’t want to meet Jack, but because I’m always afraid of having a panic attack and ruining everything. I didn’t want his first impression of me to be a bad one. It would just ruin the next coming weeks.

“Jack!” Mark called as we entered the living room downstairs.

Ah shit, it’s happening.

I didn’t even make eye contact upon introductions. Well, I looked at him once when I shook his hand, but then my eyes were anywhere but his face. It was awkward, to say the least, because I know he looks people directly in the eyes literally all of the time.

“Nice to meet you, Bella!” he told me. “Mark’s told me a lot about you!”

“Yeah, he’s told me a lot about you,” I replied, trying to sound normal.

“You guys are going to be best friends!” Mark said sarcastically, but he was probably being serious. Meaning, he wanted me to make more friends this semester. Especially since he dropped out, leaving me on my own on that big, scary campus.

He was kind enough to walk us out to my car. Once Jack was in the passenger seat, Mark asked if I was okay again. When I said yes, he kissed me goodbye. I was kind of sad he wasn’t attending YouTube University anymore. I know he had his reasons, but going with him or at least going alone was better than going with someone I didn’t know. As soon as I was in the car, I let that sink in.

Mark trusts him, and I trust Mark.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Wait!” Jack held up on finger, and remained silent for a few seconds. “Okay, now I’m ready!”

Oh god, please don’t be overwhelming.

“Okay, well we’re listening to One Direction on the way,” I warned him. “So this is your last chance to tuck and roll.”

That made him laugh. “I don’t mind One Direction. Listen to whatever you want, you’re the one driving!”

Better than a stiff, “Oh… okay.” It’s not that weird to be 23 years old and still love One Direction, right?

The only sound for the first few minutes of the ride was the music playing. I didn’t have the volume up because I didn’t want to annoy Jack. Then again, I didn’t know what to say to fill the other silence. And then he pointed it out.

“You really have a lot to say, don’t you?” It didn’t sound like he was making fun of me, but I still felt embarrassed.

“Sorry,” I said. “I never shut up.”

“Mark told me you were really funny and talkative, he didn’t say you were shy.”

“Yeah.” I took a deep breath. “I’m horrifically shy with new people. I have to get comfortable with someone before I can playfully annoy them. Any other time, I just assume people don’t wanna talk to me.”

Jack aww’d. “That’s really sad! Don’t think like that!”

Mijo, it is not that easy.

“Since we’re going to be around each other a lot, I don’t want you to think that I don’t like you or that I don’t want to talk to you,” he continued. “I love talking to people! It would be nice if we could be friends, or get along at least.”

“Well yeah, I agree,” I said. “It’s just… social anxiety makes everything hard.” Even more difficult with energetic and extroverted people like Jack. I get overwhelmed a lot quicker, but I couldn’t tell him that. “You’ll see once we’re in class.”

He nodded. “You have social anxiety?”

“Well, anxiety disorder.”

The silence returned. Leave it to me and my illness to make everything uncomfortable and awkward. Now his first impression of me is a quiet, rude, mentally ill girl who probably can’t function on her own. Not that he would be wrong.

“Sorry, I probably made that really weird,” I said without thinking. “I… sorry.”

“Oh no, you didn’t do anything!” Jack quickly reassured. “I mean, I don’t know what that’s like, to have anxiety disorder.”

“Lucky you.” Oh my god, shut up Bella.

“I mean, I played an anxiety attack simulator once, but I don’t know if it’s anything like the real thing,” he added.

I suddenly hit the brakes on my car, nearly crashing into the vehicle in front of us. I hated LA traffic with a fiery passion.

“Shit, sorry!” I frantically apologized, my heart racing. “God, I didn’t wanna kill us on the first day of school!”

“It's okay, it definitely woke me up!” Jack replied, not sounding nearly as startled as I felt.

God, I'm stupid.

The rest of the trip was silent. Once I pulled into the YouTube University parking lot, Jack perked up in his seat, looking at the main office building with wide eyes.

“Whoa! It's so fucking beautiful!” he exclaimed.

“I know right? I can't believe it's shutting down,” I said solemnly.

Unlike other first days I’ve had at uni, it took no time at all to find a parking space. Since this is the very last semester, a lot of students decided not to return, mainly all of the international students. It was a shock when I found out that this place was going to close, and an even bigger shock to the Internet. That storm went on for days. So many aspiring youtubers wouldn't get the chance to come here now…

“I just don't understand why it's closing,” Jack wondered. “It was doing great in the last year.”

“I know,” I agreed. “I heard that all universities need to have a sport to represent them, and this one doesn't because we're not that kind of campus. I mean, we had the dance team, and they were pretty good.”

“Didn't they break up?”

I shrugged. “No idea. They've been quiet since their show in December.”

I finally found a vacant spot and parked there. “Do you need a guide around campus?” Please say no.

“Yeah, if you don't mind.”

Fuck!

I checked the time on my phone. “Okay, I'll show you the essentials on the way to class.”

Even if I didn't want to be around him due to stranger anxiety, I still shared two of four classes with him. If he didn't know anybody else, there would be a chance he would stick with me. Then again, he seems like a people person, so he'll have the last of the student body in the palm of his hands in no time.

“Aren't you cold?” I asked him as we approached the entrance to the grand university.

“Not at all! It's so warm here!” he replied. “I love it!”

I pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my hands, sheepish.

The campus was lacking a lot of people compared to the past. The four tables set up in front of the fountain weren't there anymore for schedule handouts. There wasn't a swarm of people running here and there. The dorm buildings looked abandoned. It was like a typical day in the middle of the semester. It was a bit of downer, really.

Jack, on the other hand, looked like a kid on Christmas. He stopped in his tracks, mouth agape, taking in all of his surroundings. The fountain, the buildings, the general scenery.

“Fuck, I wish I had come here sooner,” he said at last.

From there I began to explain how the beginning of the semester would normally go. The crowds of people, the buses filled with international students, the lines for the elevators in the dorms, the overcrowded main office.

“But it'll be a lot easier to get around since there's a lot less people,” I added. “Those buildings opposite each other, those are the dormitories. I don't think they're in use anymore, anybody who's attending now are probably commuting like we are.

“The classrooms are behind the fountain, the library... I actually forgot where that is, because I order all my books online. There's a cafeteria somewhere…”

“Somewhere over yonder,” Jack played along.

“Yeah exactly.” Shut up Bella. Stop blushing, Bella! Goddammit Bella!

I led him to our first class, human sexuality. The classroom was nearly empty when we showed up, and I didn't see anybody I knew. I mean, I didn't really have any close YouTube friends to begin with. The only close friends I had were back home in Palm Springs, and I was not good at making new friends.

“You mind if I sit with you?” Jack asked me. “Or, do you have friends here?”

“No, yeah sit with me,” I replied. Might as well. We're practically roommates. Better him than a complete stranger. Not that he wasn’t, it’s just like I said: roommates.

We picked a two person table on the left side of the room. I sat closest to the wall, I always preferred that. Less exposure to people. One day I'll be brave enough to sit in the front of the room, or the middle.

“So why did you want to take human sexuality?” Jack asked, probably to avoid more awkward silence.

“I've been taking psychology classes since I started here,” I told him. “And I figured since sex education sucks in this country, this class would be really easy. What about you?”

“There weren't any other more interesting elective classes.”

We both turned our heads when the door opened. Another student entered the room, and it was someone I actually knew. She smiled when she saw me, and hurried to the empty table in front of me and Jack.

“Hi Sophie,” I greeted.

“Hey! I'm so glad you're here!” she replied, pushing her short blonde hair to one side. “Aria was supposed to come here with me, but she decided to ditch last minute.”

“Aria?” I asked.

“Yeah, my best friend? In my videos a lot? Captain of the dance team?” Sophie must have talked about her before, but the last thing she said rang a bell.

Small girl who is also from my hometown. Dancer. Probably dated some big YouTuber that got her career going. Not that that’s a bad thing, I just hadn’t heard of her until she got associated with Dan and Phil.

“Oh right! Why didn't she come?” I asked.

“She hasn't been herself.” Sophie rolled her eyes. “I keep telling her and telling her, but she doesn't want to listen.”

She is always vague so people can keep talking to her. However, I never liked to give her the satisfaction.

“Hi, I'm Jack!” spoke up the guy next to me. It was so sudden, I nearly jumped.

“I'm Sophie, nice to meet you!” greeted the blonde in a similar energetic fashion.

And they both got talking. Two extroverts and one introvert. I already kind of knew Sophie, having had classes with her in the past. But Jack. It was interesting to see how easily he could get along with other people and make them like him.

It's not that I, in particular, didn't like him. I didn't know him all that much. Typically, energetic people overwhelm me a lot quicker. People who actually want to talk to me overwhelm me also. Why would someone want to talk to someone like me? I couldn’t handle people. Or pressure. Or stress. Or intimacy. Lord knows how Mark got through to me.

Jack had Sophie giggling in seconds. Then she was asking him what other classes he had and then they were comparing schedules. He was bound to ditch me for Sophie by next class. Honestly, I wouldn't be too bothered by that. At least she can keep up with him.

~

If I said a single person has never made me so exhausted before, I would be lying. But it didn't make anything easier. I was dragging my feet when Jack and I got back to Mark's house. Of course, he, Matt, and Ryan were home and being loud and happy and everything I was not. Naturally Jack joined them in whatever it was they were doing. I, however, snuck away upstairs to Mark's bedroom.

I was glad I was comfortable here. I could feel myself calming down as soon as I lied down on the bed. I did have my own place, but it was too far from the university, so Mark was kind enough to let me stay at his house during the week. I would go back to my own apartment on Friday, and for once, I was looking forward to it.

_______

next chapter