#if you gotta pretend that part of his character doesn't exist to enjoy his character. then you do not even fuckin' understand the character

[salty-an-disco]

lol. lmao even

[alphinias]

That bridgerton sneak peak had some good chemistry they might make me tune in idk, I usually agree with you on most things ship related but I have a problem with this specific ship, Colin is the least interesting of the siblings so far but that's okay I didn't care for anthony either before his season, my bigger problem is Penelope, I think they tried to go for the drama and the twists too much and made her seem kind of awful? They're trying to pretend racism doesn't exist in that era but the way she outed Marina in s1 ( who was not doing a good thing at all but I don't she had much of a choice given her other option was abject poverty) and the way she talks about her friends in her column and outs everyone's shit, things that have really serious consequences on people's lives. The writers literally called her a villain which???? They're doing something I feel a lot of shows have a problem with lately, trying to girlboss women doing shitty things, same with their brand of white feminism for Eloise who spends all her scenes lamenting her fate and being "quirky" with no actual depth or confronting her privilege or trying to help other women or really anything at all, all she does is talk like a "not like other girls" girlie circa Tumblr 2012 and they're thinking omg we're being such feminists right now 🤣😅🤣

Girllll you better tune in anyway so we can get more seasons and other ships you might like better! PRESERVE OUR LIMITED ROMANCE GENRE.

In all seriousness, I totally get where you’re coming from! I personally love polin and I’m very excited for them, but I don’t think the writing has always been the best. Obviously a lot of polin fans don’t agree with me, but I still think this season not being Benedict’s is so strange and a mistake. The general audience adores him and I think both Colin and Penelope could’ve done with another season of personal growth (and slow burn) to help them win over the rest of the audience more. I like Colin and I think he’s actually really funny when they give him a chance, but he’s done nothing to scream leading man like Benedict has yet. I guess S3 will tell us how much is on the writing so far vs Luke Newton. I want him to be so amazing, but I get the doubts because I still have some nerves about it too. I think the sneak peek looked great and is a great start so I’m gonna go in with optimism and positive thoughts!

Gotta defend Eloise because I think her thinking she’s ranting and valid but actually being more out of touch than she realizes is mostly purposeful! I like that as a character flaw and I think it’s realistic for someone in her position. Or maybe I just love Eloise lol. Penelope is a bit of a more… complex case. I see why people hate her, although I personally mostly like her even though I think she sucks for what she did to the Bridgertons. She’s just treated so polarizing one way or the other by the fandom and the producers are obsessed with her and I think that’s part of the problem.

I have doubts any of the Bridgerton ships will beat kathony for me but overall this fandom is so weird! I don’t get the ship wars amongst the ships because they are all canon and they’re all meant to have their spotlight and be enjoyed. I don’t mean you anon when I say this btw, I mean more the hardcore Bridgerton fandom. It’s why I don’t engage with them a lot lol. I just want to enjoy a cute ship every season.

[queenofbaws]

One good turn deserves another, so now I'd like to thank you for YOUR kind words and well-wishes! I should probably clarify as well that I'm no stranger to writing in general - I've worked as an editor and even have my own story in the works. It's fanfiction that proves daunting, as I fear I won't be able to portray the characters accurately or even write believable modern-day interactions due to my own... social shortcomings, so to speak. If you have any advice to offer, I'd be rather grateful!

!!! well lookit that!!! aw man, if you're already writing your own story, you're so ahead of the game!!! ;)c on the rare occasions i've been asked for fic advice, my first step is almost always to, like, get a feel for writing rules in general, so cross that sucker right off the list!!! heheh

i'll throw a few nuggets of extremely long-winded "wisdom" below the cut for anyone interested, but tl;dr the BIGGEST and BEST advice i think i could give to someone hesitant to dip their toe into writing/posting fic is this: we're all playing pretend here - and i don't say that to minimize anyone's efforts!!! not even slightly.

if anyone takes playing pretend seriously, it's ME, angsty longfic mcgee, but at the end of the day, fanfic is YOUR sandbox. YOU make the rules. YOU make what you want to make the way you want to make it when you want to make it. everyone wants the validation of hearing that other people enjoyed their story, that they're moved by their art, but sometimes things won't hit the way you hoped they would, or people wind up having a different interpretation of a character than you and don't hesitate in letting you know, and man, that sucks when it happens and it can make the idea of continuing to post really, really daunting, but it's still your sandbox. if you like it? if you enjoyed making it? if it was fun and fulfilling and you felt satisfied once it was finished?????????? THAT'S what you gotta hang onto. THAT'S what's gonna keep you moving forward. <3

(and, just saying, from personal experience? once you take the dive and give it a try? ooooh baby. there's nothing like it ;P i've mixed too many beach metaphors in here. that has to mean something.)

LONG-WINDED RAMBLING, GO! i want to preface this by saying, hi, this is 100% just me running my mouth about how i go about writing fic - if anything i say here doesn't work for you, ignore it! wholesale!!! everyone has different processes, everyone approaches writing in a different way, and even my writing buds and i butt heads sometimes about the fic-writing process, so imagine this is simply me offering suggestions on little scraps of paper, neatly piled up on a silver platter. you're free to fling that platter out of my hands at any time ;P ha!!!

i COMPLETELY understand how trying to get a pre-existing character's voice down can be intimidating, but at the end of the day...everyone's going to view them a little differently anyway!!! that's one of the beautiful things about fic - two people can look at the same character and see completely different facets of them, and that in NO way makes them wrong, or somehow less valid! here are some of the things i do when i'm trying to get into a character's headspace or find my version of their voice:

mannerisms! the first thing i always try and figure out is how the character behaves in canon. do they hold themselves confidently? do they get along with other people easily? if it's visual media like a video game, what kind of idle animations are we working with here - nail biting, hip swaying, anxious shifting, slouching, yawning, knuckle-cracking? i like doing this a little bit better than just trying to pin down what kind of "personality archetype" they have, like...you can say ashley brown is the scared nerd character, sure, and that's one level of her, but she's also ruthless when she needs to be, quick to make a joke, and deeply, deeply curious. digging down into a character's pieces-parts instead of just looking at them as a whole can really make your characterization of them feel more HUMAN.

actual source material dialogue. how does the character actually TALK in the source material (if they do, in fact, talk at all)? do they stammer? pause often? are they using high-scoring scrabble words in day-to-day conversations, or do they mostly just grunt and nod when asked a question? if you're worried about keeping YOUR version of them close to the source material or canon, i always say look for those verbal tics right off the bat. to keep using until dawn examples, josh tends to talk slowly but FLUIDLY, if that makes sense, like he's been practicing how cool guys talk in movies; chris, on the other hand, tends to start and stop, or have a jerkier sort of cadence, shifting in pitch the more agitated or anxious he is. mike talks to himself a lot, whether it's to make inane comments or reassure himself that he's okay; matt really sort of stays quiet unless he's talking to another person. that sort of thing!

the jurassic park method. okay. okay stick with me here. this one's my fav. this one is genuinely my secret weapon when it comes to writing believable fic characters. you know how...in the original jurassic park...the whole thing was they filled the dinosaurs' genetic gaps with frog DNA? yeah. yeah i'm about to tell you to do that. only with blorbo from your shows. is there someone in your life who reminds you of a character you're writing for? they don't have to be a perfect match, but maybe there's someone out there who you think "aw man, i bet sam would wear that," or "i could so hear jess saying that," or "i bet she and emily would get along..." this is me taking you by the hands to say use that. fill those gaps with real life experiences. this one's really more about making characters feel realistic than it is keeping them true to canon, but man..................sometimes it really makes them shine, know what i mean???

as for believable modern-day interactions...WOOF. i also feel like...i have missed that bus on that one. ��� i wish i had straightforward advice for this, but i have GOT to be real with you, i am a mostly housebound millenial who recently had a very sobering conversation with my doctor about how i've hit the age where i need to actually pay attention to my blood pressure and cholesterol, and boy, that...that really makes you feel very

sdklfjskldf heheheheheheh

my biggest tip in terms of MODERN social interactions??? don't put too much effort into making them modern at all! that sounds counter-intuitive, i'll explain: language moves really, really quickly, and it's constantly changing. if you throw a lot of slang into an interaction, it's going to date itself pretty quickly. instead, when i'm writing, i really focus on the interaction feeling BELIEVABLE. not even "natural," not even "normal," whatever those mean, but believable. can you BELIEVE that characters would interact with each other this way. cuz let's face it: sometimes. in real life. social interactions. occur. strangely. that doesn't make them less BELIEVABLE.

(and for what it's worth???????? a lot of time canon doesn't care about modern day interactions either. emily and jess's fight in the lodge is.......the best example......i could give you. there's....there's a lot going on in that one. the bar has been set...very low on that one alkdjfalksjfasjdfklsdjf hahahahahahahahah!)

i'll stop here before i literally turn inside-out from word barfing so much, but to revisit my very, very first point up top...writing and sharing fic can be SO nerve-wracking. 100%. no question. writing is personal!!! if you're writing your own story, i'm sure you totally get that. it's a piece of you! and by putting it out where everyone can see, you're making yourself vulnerable, and that can be so, so terrifying. but. BUT. i am personally of the opinion that the benefits outweigh that moment of trepidation ;)c if this is something you've been wanting to do, i wholeheartedly say give it a shot! if you decide it's not for you, eh, at least you tried, right? and if you love it, then look at that!!! a whole new world opens up at your fingertips!!!

and you'll for sure have ME rooting for you, either way :D

[trashcatsnark]

NGL I love how much you have embraced the silverv stuff here - its so nice to read. I submit for consideration, Rogue notices the tattoo while on the disaster date and both Johnny and V play it off as a joke and holy shit poor rogue stuck in a room with two morons.

Also - V getting dressed for that date and realizing they just MIGHT be a little jealous with a side of some thoughts of "Oh God Johnny Would NEVER Feel That Way About Me Gotta Bury This Deep So He Doesn't Know"

Johnny notices the anxiety but is very dense about the cause.

Oh hell yeah, I have fully embraced it and this ship; I was writing SilverV porn before the game came out, like I knew what my ship for this game was gonna be from the second I saw gifs of

“You’re a dick, Johnny” 

“And you’re a cunt, so maybe we’ll fit together after all.” 

That banter sealed my fate and I’m fairly sure I had named and created my V then wrote porn of her with Johnny literally a week later. The devil works hard, but my brainrot works harder and faster. 

Spoilers! 

Okay, so I’ve thought a lot about that date in both a silverv context (and largely how it fits with my V, Aidan and her fic) I’ll try to stay general though. 

Firstly, I whole heartedly believe Rogue sees through their bullshit. Not only is she just good at that, but Johnny even states she has MRE’s (?) and can see through people, like her eyes can pick up on signs of lying. And usually, thats not an issue for when V talks to her, but when she asks about Johnny and their relationship with him. Its a mess. And when Rogue asks Johnny about it, its a mess. 

And when Rogue notices the tattoo it’s like Oh... I get it . And Johnny is of course like, “hahaha, yeah I thought that’d be so funny, the kid hates it.” But Rogue isn’t stupid, she knows a lovey dovey heart with their names, something that looks like someone doodled it on their third grade notebook about their crush, is not really typical of Johnny’s “joking” She knows that if Johnny is not really the kind of guy to hahahaha its so funny to make it look like we love each other; he’d be more likely to get a dick tattooed on V’s arm if it was just to mess with them. For gods sake, look how many people didn’t pick “the other one” because they were convinced it was gonna be a dick. That’s a Johnny just trying to fuck with someone move. So, she doesn’t buy it, but doesn’t push it...with him. 

She asks V about and of course they play it off as “Yeah, Johnny thought it’d be funny, what a fucking asshole, its so fucking dumb, I totally fuckin hate it.” 

“So, why not get it removed?” 

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh, well you see what had happened was, um, I, just uhhhh, never been enough time, I guess yeahhhhhh.” 

Cause lets face it, in cyberpunk universe, getting a tattoo removed should be easy. If you can get blades in your arms and can have a completely newly reconstructed body in like an afternoon; you can get a tattoo removed in like twenty minutes. So, V still keeping it, says volumes about how they really feel.

Now, V’s jealousy and the date. 

I do absolutely agree that any anxiety or ill feeling V might have up until the date; Johnny is gonna feel, but not realize where it’s coming from. I think if anything, he’s gonna chalk it up to V being anxious about giving him control again and he’s gonna be like worried that maybe V doesn’t trust him as much as they let on. 

And I do think a V who has feelings for Johnny, would not be able to help feeling some jealousy regarding Rogue and Johnny. Just because jealousy is natural thing to feel and while you can debate if they were ever a good or healthy couple, you can’t debate they shared very real feelings for one another. And I think a lot of V’s jealousy would come from just how much Johnny seems to first think of/go to Rogue. When he needed to save Alt, first person he turned to, Rogue. When he wanted to bomb Arasaka tower (going by his memory of it and ignoring that the event was probably actually planned by Morgan Blackhand), who’d he go to? Rogue. When he becomes determined to get Smasher, who is he determined to get him with, Rogue. When he first decides to atone for his past mistakes, who’s the first person he wants to make up with, Rogue. When at the rooftop, who does he want to go grab to help him save V, Rogue. 

If you got feelings for someone, that’d hurt, I think it’s impossible for that not to spark some jealousy. And V if anything is also mad at themselves for having those feelings, because they like Rogue, she’s a badass, a legend, they respect the hell out of her. And of course they have feelings for Johnny and they wanna help him make shit right and they wanna give him a chance to enjoy himself. But this stupid reptilian part of their brain is screaming but i want to be the first person he goes to, the first person he thinks about, which they know is also stupid cause for fucks sake the man literally lives in their brain, they’re as close as two people can be and literally when Johnny has the power to go to someone for something, he can’t go to V because they’re reduced to sleeping essentially until Johnny hands back the reigns. Yet, feelings aren’t aren’t always, rational, sadly. 

And to Johnny’s credit, he probably doesn’t even give it that much thought. Rogue is a badass, someone he cares for, someone he can depend on and someone he hurt really badly. The two people he can and always has been able to depend on the most (other than Alt prior to her death) have been Kerry and Rogue. And, bless his heart, the fuck is Kerry gonna do? Kerry ain’t a merc, Kerry isn’t gonna bust into Arasaka Tower or plant a bomb. Kerry doesn’t have the connection to Smasher. So, of course, Rogue is gonna be his go to. And in terms of making things up to people...he literally cannot really do much to make things up to V, not the way he can for Rogue or Kerry. Cause, when him and V are both conscious, he can’t do much beyond touch and talk to them. Hell, even with Rogue and Kerry, he relies mostly on V to help him do anything. Even with people he can interact with and do something for; V is doing all the nitty gritty work for him. V drives Rogue to the theater, V breaks into the theater, V gets the projector going. V breaks into Kerry’s house, V disables the security. V gets in contact with Nancy. V gets Nancy out of Totentanz in one piece. 

Which probably if V actually thought about it critically, does mean he’s going to them and relying on them more than Rogue, but they’d probably dismiss it out of it being for necessity and not because he cares about them and feels he an depend on them. 

Anyhow, Johnny would probably love to do some nice gesture to make up for his bender to V, hell they probably were the first person he wanted to make things up since they are his catalyst for changing. But what feasibly can he do for them? Anything he’d want to do with/for them, would just be asking V go do this thing and i’ll also be here. Anything that would put them in public interacting is out, unless they want MaxTac called on V for looking cyberpsychotic. He can’t even do an at home date, because he can’t cook (engram or not) and he can’t buy them anything nice he has no money and also doesn’t technically exist. He could try to do so sneakily while he’s in control...but he’d be using V’s money so they might as well just buy it for themselves. he can play music for them,,. but that doesn’t seem too special and more than a little egotistical to think it’ll make V feel better about what he did... So... all he can really do, is prove he’s worth trusting by being on his best behavior and more importantly do what he can to save V’s life. 

Then there’s the date. And as usual, I have some opinions and feelings about a thing.  Like, okay, I’ve seen some people (aka Gamer Bros on Twitter) being like, Rogue is Johnny’s girl. Wanting to date either of them is wrong because they like each other. (then you also get the BUT ALT crowd, but rants for another day.) And I can’t help but ask, did we play the same date? Their entire date is about how they’re both desperately clinging to the past. Rogue is trying to reclaim 2013-2023 Rogue and Johnny just wanting for a night to feel like the world and his place in it haven’t been completely rearranged. And it ends with Rogue telling him, she is not that girl anymore, she can’t pretend to be, and frankly she doesn’t want to anymore. She wishes she could be, wishes she was still that tall haired street punk who’d never dream of working with corps or being a fixer, but she’s not. Her and Johnny are no longer the same people who met back in to 2010’s. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about one another and doesn’t mean what feelings they had weren’t real or important; but they’re just not those people anymore. Rogue more so than Johnny since he’s freshly on the course of change.   

Something else in regards to the date, that I think is important to talk about and how it relates to silverv and its something I personally have very conflicting feelings about. The fact that Johnny can initiate some physical intimacy with Rogue. See, I have never chosen the option to kiss Rogue during the date and actually did not learn until relatively recently, that if that choice is made it goes a biiit further than a kiss. I have watched the scene now.

And god I have mixed feelingssss. Like, I get it, but I’m not sure I like it. And I know full well, my silverv bias impacts my feelings on the matter, it’s be disingenuous to say otherwise. But I don’t think the ship is purely my reason for having these feelings. But at the end of the day, its all opinions. So, I get from a character perspective that Johnny and Rogue are trying so hard to reclaim their past and what they use to have that they get caught up in trying do what they would do if this was the 2010’s. And Johnny’s relationships as we’ve seen are very physical, sexual chemistry and attraction are major factors in his relationships because he kept things very superficial most of the time. He even says part of the issue with his relationship with Rogue is at the time he didn’t realize he could let her see the true him and still hid behind walls, kept things at a distance. So, the idea that’d they fall back into the old habit of trying to just be physical and ignore their feelings, isn’t out of character. 

However, and Johnny even seems to acknowledge this issue when Rogue interrupts it, they’re doing this with V’s body. V...who did not consent to sexual contact. They consented to a date and while one could logic that this would mean everything a date could entail up to and including physical intimacy; I would argue that that is something that would need further conversation to have clear consent. And like again, this might come down to boundaries and personal feelings. Because I go back to the bender and what’s been interesting to me is too see different opinions on it; some people weren’t actually bothered at all by Johnny’s bender in V’s body, some people were bothered by the drugs and alcohol specifically cause their V is straight edge. Me, personally, it was the sexual content and the endangering of V’s life. Like, it was mostly funny and oh yeah, I expected that it’s bad but eh I’ll move on, to me, until he started getting sexual with people in V’s body. Like that to me is not just crossing the line, it’s catapulting over it. 

And like I said, Johnny even responds to Rogue’s “this isn’t fair” with “what, you mean it’s not fair to V?” which she says she meant it isn’t fair to Johnny. (Which viscerally upset because you nearly used V’s body for sexual gratification without their consent and you’re worried about Johnny, which tbf Rogue has no way of knowing what V has and hasn’t consented to, so its not on her but that was my knee jerk thought). So, he has some awareness that maybe that was a bad move. 

And yeah, it definitely to me and my V would be a very bad move (unless he explicitly talked to them beforehand and got consent). And in general, it made me feel like, dude, you just promised you’d be better and not break V’s trust but again not a day later you’re nearly using them to have sex. It felt like a backslide, which isn’t necessarily unrealistic, cause change and growth is not always linear, people can commit to changing themselves and still fuck up and not get it right; in fact it’s rare for them not to have any sort of backsliding or repeating of mistakes. 

Again, I will also give credit that he could have been assuming that given V consented to the date, they assumed or were cool with their being physical intimacy between him and Rogue. He also generally, might not have really planned for it to happen, because I don’t think Johnny plans a lot of anything. It very well might have just sort of happened. Also, V doesn’t clearly communicate if the sexual component was an issue in the bender. All V really seems to have an issue with in game is the very general thing of; he misled them and used them. So, he might have assumed that wasn’t ever an issue. And hell, if you wanna go full meta, the player is technically the one who makes that choice and V is largely an avatar for the player, so that alone could be seen as whether or not V would/does consent. 

But, from a story perspective, removing the player choice element. I think how that’s handled would have a huge impact on silverv and where it goes from there. 

Because if V and Johnny did talk about consent prior and V did consent while having feelings for Johnny, god I’d have to imagine they’d still feel pretty hurt, but feel it’s irrational to feel that way and have put their own feelings aside because clearly Johnny cares about and wants Rogue and they should ruin what could be his one chance to make things right. 

If there like in game was no talk of consent and Johnny ends up kissing and touching on Rogue and V finds out or has memories of it surface,that could be devastating for them. Not only from their own feelings for Johnny, but this since of betrayal and hurt. Was the oil field conversation just a lie? A manipulation? V might feel like they were used; that Johnny never gave a shit about them or how they feel. And Johnny would have to deal with the realization that intentionally or not; he earned back V’s trust just to destroy it again. He fucked up again, he ruined everything again, he got his second chance and destroyed it…. And he doesn’t know how, if he can, or if he should bother trying to ask for a third. In general, I do think, V would come out of the date assuming (naturally so) that Johnny really only has romantic feelings towards Rogue, that they’re just a friend at best, a host to be used at worse. I even in my own universe with my V have them after everything is better, everyones got a body, expects Johnny to start pursing Rogue and trying to swallow their own feelings and be a supportive friend, try to encourage and push him to do it and Johnny’s just like please stop, Rogue is this close to murdering us both.

I was gonna add more funny stuff to this and include a shitposty interaction he has with my V over them dressing up for the date and shit, BUT HOLY FUCK THIS GOT LONG AND SAD????? I’M SO SORRY.

[chaos-and-recover]

I am married to someone with an intense, if only midsized, fanbase. Parasocial relationships have been a part of our lives since long before it was a buzzword. It is weirdly fascinating to us, but sometimes a bit frightening. Now that it is the buzzword of the hour, seeing it misattributed is one of our pet peeves. I have seen people claim any amount of interaction on the fan's end is "pick me" (although fan interaction is necessary for his job) or claim that him utilizing social media makes him more culpable for forcing parasocial relationships on the fans because of power imbalances. If he is obvious about promoting something, though, it doesn't go over well because audiences don't want to feel like their being advertised to. Parasocial relationships are sometimes hurtful and scary on our end. 1) There was a woman who had been following his career since the 90s, when he wasn't as well known. She would often send him letters, gifts. Within the past 5 years something changed. I don't know why, but she suddenly began to consider him a boyfriend of sorts. He had never responded to these letters. I discovered she had been catfishing me under my private, locked social media accounts under a fake name, pretending to be someone I knew from high school. He blocked her on all social media. She harassed his coworkers until they blocked her too. A friend of mine said she went on TikTok to brag about how overly sensitive celebrities will block if you call them out for not being better than regular people. Meanwhile, we got a letter from her last year begging for him to forgive whatever she did that offended him. 2) 15ish years ago, in a magazine interview, my husband states his fave color. 2 years ago, I was having lunch with a friend, without my husband. A younger woman approached the table. She asksnif my husband was around and I said that he wasn't. Immediately her tone and expression changed to something nasty. She asked if I would at least give him a painting she had done of him. It was all done in various shades of the same color. I commented on this and she sneered at me with; "It's his fave color." I am still trying to be polite at this point and casually go; "Oh is it?" and she ery rudely snaps that I am his wife and I don't know his fave color like SHE does, so I have had it and say, assertively that I've had enough and she needs to leave. I gave it to my husband and told him the encounter. He laughed about it and said that it wasn't his fave color anymore. I had never thought to ask about his fave color because it just didn't seem important to either of us. He had never asked mine. Her twitter handle was on the painting so I looked it up. Her and a few friends were discussing the incident, using my first and last initials and my husband's first. They were discussing how clearly they know him deeper than I do, that he must secretly hate me if his own wife doesn't understand him like she does, and she altered the story so that she had seen him there earlier so I was clearly lying and that she had timidly approached the table and I had screamed at her that the color was ugly. I don't watch his interviews unless he specifically asks me to, because this is like listening in on someone's work meeting. This has been misconstrued by "fans" that I don't support him. I absolutely do, 200%, probably more than they support their husband's jobs, but watching his interviews isnt how i support him. I support him in our home, in our phone calls, in other ways he appreciates in our personal lives. Parasocial relationships are absolutely fine, until people start to believe they aren't in one, or that it is somehow more substantial than personal relationships the celebrities have with their loved ones. They truly think that they can Sherlock Holmes someone enough to truly know them better than the ones who actually know them in real life. (Sorry if you got this multiple times. Tumblr said it didnt send my ask.)

(Same anon from before) What fans need to understand is that parasocial relationships are good. It is fine to be a fan of someone, support their career, analyze them and write fanfiction and draw fanart of them or their characters. This is how my husband keeps his job, this is completely normal fan behavior. It isnt bad for the sake of existing. But they need to be aware that it is parasocial. I think the problem doesn't lie with parasocial relationships so much as when those in the relationship aren't aware that it is parasocial. Those who are aware of it being parasocial aren't the ones claiming that I do not know my husband but that they do or sending him love letters thinking their in a relationship with him. Those who know it is parasocial know that there is a difference between him answering questions in an interview (after being coached by a professional on how to appear and how to speak, and going into it knowing 90% of the questions) and having a conversation when there aren't cameras around, behind closed door. There is a difference between remembering a list of favorite things and watching someone enjoy those things in the moment every day in person. You just HAVE to be aware that they ARE parasocial.

First of all I gotta say I'm SUPER curious who you are (obviously you don't have to tell me!)! I've heard and seen things like what you described happen in several different fandoms of varying popularity, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. But you're 100% right, engaging in regular fandom behaviour is perfectly normal, even interacting with creators/actors/musicians/whoever on social media (or in person if you meet them). It's HOW you interact with them. You need to both have your own and respect their boundaries.

I'm a fan of a couple 80s/90s boybands, as you just... ARE as an elder millennial lmao, and I can understand how easy it is as a young teen to go too far and cross boundaries because you just don't have the life experience or really, emotional regulation to interact with your idols in a normal way. But I've seen that now carry on well into adulthood, the things grown-ass women TO THIS DAY say about the wives of some of these band members is shocking (maybe not to you though since you've lived it!). I've had several conversations where I've had to remind people that literally every interaction they've had with these people at official meet & greets and stuff, even to an extent their interactions on social media, it's like the famous-person equivalent of Customer Service Voice. They're working! Of course they're nice to you when you paid like $500 to talk to them for thirty seconds! It doesn't mean you're friends!

(Not shaming paid M&Gs, I've done them, I'd do them again, it's an opportunity my 13 year old self never thought she'd had but like... I'm not secretly dating a Backstreet Boy because I met them for five seconds, y'know?)

Anyway yeah... all this to say, you're right. Parasocial relationships are a natural part of fandom and they're FINE and GOOD you just gotta respect boundaries.

[xsecretblastsx]

1x05 - Dare Devil

It took me much more time to do this than I would have liked but finally here's the recap for 1x05.

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

I don't particularly care about Dan's mom but I wished to hear the story about her 30th birthday and the clown and the llama

"I'm not a stop along the way, I'm a destination" is probably my favorite Blair quote ever.

"I have this nervous tick that I don't stop speaking, ever" as if we hadn't noticed Dan, but thanks for pointing it out anyway

I really like Serena's dress for her date with Dan

Serena's excitment over the vespa made me thing of certain scenes from S6 and how much I dislike Dan

Jenny had a Hello Kitty sleeping bag, I sometimes forget how young and innocent she was at first.

Blair was hilarious distracting that nurse at the Ostroff center

S6 really did ruined this date for me, as hard as try I can't pretend I'm watching this for the first time, and I did like this on my first watch.

'A real emergency or a Lily emergency' gotta love Rufus and Lily's banter

'My usual answer is never say never but for you I'll make an exception' well said Blair, Icreepy guys at clubs are the worst

Jenny saying Claire to avoid using Blair's name is not sitting well with me 🤢. Seriously the Humphrey kids are making this really hard for me today.

Lily inviting herself to dinner at Rufus' loft. I'm really enjoying Rufly so far I don't think I did that the first time.

'Even if it's Blair, no offense' lmao. But really the poor kid needed out desperately.

There's a small part of me that wish I could be excited again for Dan and Serena's first kiss.

The good old days when I actually like Jenny

This episode felt really teenage-ry

Chuck wasn't in this episode, seems so weird now

Of all the episodes I've rewatched so far this is probably the one I didn't enjoyed as much, probably because it mainly focused on Jenny's rise in rank and Dan and Serena's budding romance two things I no longer like at all.

Nevertheless Jenny's character progression is still quite a thing to watch and it was definitely impressive how well she handled Blair here, is not an easy task to impress the Queen B.

In another universe (one where I don't dislike Dan as much as I do) this would be such a nice Derena episode. For once he's not as judgemental and he actually listens to her and it's obvious they're both having such a good time, Serena in particular looks quite happy and it all ends with that kiss. There's an old interview where Josh Swartz (the show's creator) talks about his favorite scene in the whole show (it's a chair scene) but he also mentions this scene as one of those moments that said "this is the show" and even if I no longer like it, yeah I have to admit it is a nice shot

However my favorite part of this episode by far was Rufly, I love the banter, their history, couples reminiscing is one of those tropes I have such a weakness for, the longing of what could have been.

Random bits I noticed

The annual sleepover exists since 2000

I was trying to remember why Nate wasn't in this episode, they did mentioned it he was closing the family yatch

Serena doesn't know how to drive because her mother didn't let her lead, she said that's what drivers are for.

Jenny was the first to use the name Claire to hide Blair's identity, I guess Dan picked it up here.