#if you follow me on ig you will have already seen this in my Friday stories

[sweetteachai]

My friend and I did finish our Abhorsen cosplays and got some great photos this weekend with a photographer. This is just a little sneak preview that my friend @essegigi got on my phone until the photos are done being edited 💙

[withleeknow]

wishful thinking. (07)

chapter seven: built to break

summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.

pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut; the gorlies are fighting...?, not much for warnings in this chapter ig word count: 4.3k note: i finally got off my ass and wt is finally back lol. i had a last minute change of plans and thought "oh! you know what would be pretty neat? if we prolong the angst so everyone can be sad for longer!" <3 and this is how i announce that the next chapter is not wt8 but wt7.5 and it's written from his pov <3 merry christmas

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

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I’ll hold my breath as I wait for your answer I’ll leave it up to you Tell me whether it’s yes or no Baby, love me or leave me tonight

Love Me or Leave Me - Day6

The warning signs, they're there. You can see them before they materialize. You know your own tells.

Your metaphorical bags are packed, your shoes are already on. You're about to run again, leave a half empty house before it has the chance to become a home. No one has to tell you that you're a flight risk; you're well aware of it yourself.

Wednesday Min: got plans tonight? You: booked and busy with ze old canvas Min: tomorrow? You: same thing probably. sorry Min: u're working hard lately You: yeah this one is just driving me crazy and i need it to turn out decent Min: it'll be perfect. it's u

Thursday Min: running errands at the store Min: want me to bring u anything? that caramel popcorn u like?

Friday Min: don't work too hard. remember to eat

That was three days ago, the last time you'd heard from him after you left him on read. It wasn't a complete lie; this project is driving you kinda crazy and you do need it to end up a decent piece, but you weren't exactly holed up in your apartment to slave over your painting. And you suppose Minho didn't find it all that suspicious because you tend to do this sometimes - disappear for a couple of days and force yourself to focus whenever you had a project to finish, before you come back to everybody again. You've come back to him before; it stands to reason that you'll do it again.

It's been about two weeks since you'd seen him, though the memories of that evening are still fresh in your mind - the evening of the group dinner, when he'd kissed you goodnight and left for his parents' house the following day. True to his words, he did send you pictures of the cats - ones of Soonie wearing a matching hoodie with him, a few of Doongie and Dori napping at the foot of his bed. There was an accompanying text - The kids miss you - along with a frowning emoji, and it made you wonder if what he really meant was I miss you.

You wanted him to miss you, because you missed him too.

The photos brought a smile to your face despite the predicament you found yourself in. A smile that was short lived, a smile that was soon wiped off when you realized your heart shouldn't be swelling with that much affection for him. It shouldn't, but the truth was that it did and you don't know how to live with it.

Love isn't something you've ever learned to hold.

It's beautiful yet full of thorns, and your hands are too clumsy to ever keep it from slipping from your fingers.

You remember when you first met Minho. Freshman year, at some popular senior's house party.

It feels like forever ago when you were just an awkward freshman at orientation who didn't have a single clue on how to make friends. Jess was your first friend in college, and you'll always be grateful that you got along well enough that she adopted you into the group with the rest of the guys.

You didn't cross paths with Minho until you were already acquainted with everyone else. On the night of the party, you remember being enamored with him for those couple of hours, and it wasn't the side effect of too many solo cups of cheap beer. Who in their right mind wouldn't be infatuated with him? He was beautiful, absolutely alluring, and you would always tell him as much.

Back then, he had brown hair, slighter shorter than now but it was tinted with the most gorgeous shade of red. You didn't know much about Minho, only been told that he was pretty quiet and might be off-putting to new people. It was sort of true; that night, you were intimidated by the aura he exuded. Mysterious, couldn't be bothered, didn't seem to give a shit. He looked like a scary little thing, while you were the new kid who was only trying to observe everyone's dynamics, not wanting to overstep any unspoken boundary.

To this day, you're still not sure what really happened, how you two immediately clicked and he's been one of the most important parts of your life ever since.

Maybe it was just him. Maybe it's always been him.

Minho, the one who makes you smile when all you want to do is curl up and cry. The one who makes you laugh when you look for joy but the search comes up empty. The one who grounds you every time you lose your way. Your anchor, the safe harbor you can always return to. The light at the end of a long, long tunnel.

You don't know where you stand, don't know where it goes from here now that everything is changing. He told you so himself, that nothing changed for him, but how could he possibly know that everything is changing for you? And it infuriates you to no end because you don't even have anyone to talk about this with. You're the only person whose world is being turned upside down after all.

You can't tell your friends because they can't know about you and Minho. You can't tell Minho because what would you even say? That you think you're in love with him? That the implications of what it means are devastating to you?

For the first time, you regret everything. Kissing him that night, sleeping with him, becoming whatever this is with him. Letting down your guard and falling for him somewhere along the way and you didn't even stop to notice it. You regret all of the decisions you've made up until now, because they've only led you to the point of no return, the point of losing him. You made bad decision after bad decision after bad decision, until you couldn't anymore. All along, there's been no one else to blame but you.

Maybe it hasn't happened yet, but it's inevitable. You will lose him. You are going to lose him.

There's no other ending, no other alternative that you can imagine. You're going to leave because you're a coward and it's what you do best. You ruin things before they get a chance to hurt you. You leave because if you don't leave then you'll be left behind, and you'd rather not bear the brunt of it.

Now, when you think of Minho, the thought is always accompanied by a painful reminder - Nothing changed for him.

When you get to the cafe, Hyunjin and Seungmin are already seated in a corner booth, three drinks in front of them, one of which they'd ordered for you before you arrived.

You slide into the seat next to Hyunjin, smiling at him appreciatively for the drink. There's still over half an hour before you have to walk to your shared class, over half an hour before Seungmin parts ways with you two to do whatever or whoever it is that Seungmin does on his off days.

"I still think it's Nara," Hyunjin says, casually sipping his iced coffee.

"Nara from your Lit class last semester?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"I saw them talking at a party once."

"Okay. And?"

"And what? That's it."

"That's... all the evidence you have to back up your claim?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

You wave your hands in front of them. "What are you bozos talking about?"

"He’s still trying to figure out who Minho is hooking up with," Seungmin is the one who answers you without missing a beat, then he turns back to Hyunjin. "Anyway, it can't be Nara. She's dating Jaehyun on the basketball team."

The friend next to you flails his arms like a petulant child, like he couldn't have possibly seen this coming, like he was so sure that he had finally solved the mystery. "Great. I'm back to square one again."

You straighten your back and reach for your drink, tentatively gulping down the beverage as if it'll hide the fact that you've gone stiff the second this topic is brought up. You feel bad about it, sure. These are your friends that you're lying to after all. They don't have to look anywhere far; the answer to the secret is right in front of them.

"We're still on about that?" you ask in the calmest, most nonchalant voice you can muster. You usually consider yourself a believable liar (which, to be honest, isn't really a flex at all), but whenever someone mentions this little arrangement between you and Minho that shouldn't be common knowledge for anyone else, you feel like you're been put under a spotlight for the whole world to scrutinize.

"Duh," Hyunjin says. "You know, I'm kinda surprised that you don't know. You two are like, attached at the hip sometimes."

You give him a thoughtless shrug, your hands fiddling with the sticker on the plastic cup as you avoid looking at either of your friends. "Maybe he just wants to keep private things private, y'know? You wouldn't like either if all of us is suddenly all up in your business. And besides, what if it's just casual?"

Hyunjin scoffs. "Please, I'm an open book. I tell you guys everything. I tell you every time I hook up with someone."

"Yeah, but you see, literally no one needs to know that," Seungmin says.

The taller one only scoffs, waving his hands around dismissively in Seungmin's direction before he turns to you. "If it was just casual, would he save her name as - oh my God, I forgot what her contact name is. Freaking bird person or something."

You make a face. "What?"

"Dude, seriously?" Seungmin rolls his eyes. "You forgot one word? Dove? What is the matter with you?"

Perhaps it's the half-hearted teasing judgment in Seungmin's voice that makes Hyunjin take offense and drop the topic. The conversation veers off course when they start bickering like children in the busy cafe. You suppose it works in your favor, but you can't focus. You drown it all out.

Your hand is still on the cup but the sticker has been left alone and forgotten, half peeled off, half still clinging to the plastic underneath the condensation.

The single word repeats itself in your mind, over and over and over again.

The entire time you're in class, you don't really focus on anything. You can't bring yourself to listen to whatever your professor is saying, not after what Hyunjin and Seungmin told you earlier. At some point, your friend has to nudge your shoulder to bring you back down to earth when usually, you're the one who has to remind Hyunjin to pay attention. Class ends soon enough though; time tends to fly by when your mind is lost elsewhere.

"What's wrong with you today?" he asks with his bag slung over his shoulder, slowing down his steps to match your speed as you walk out of the lecture hall together.

You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. "Nothing's wrong. I was just tired."

"You wanna grab dinner with me and Felix?"

Any other day, you would've agreed in a heartbeat. But today, you want to be alone. Sometimes, you'd rather wallow in your own misery than settle for a temporary distraction.

You're still stuck on the conversation from earlier, on the small detail that Hyunjin and Seungmin had let slip in the cafe.

Dove.

His dove.

Maybe it doesn't mean anything. Perhaps it's only a nickname that he's assigned to you out of mere platonic fondness, but it makes you conscious about the dove on your own wrist nonetheless, the one that you feel compelled to hide from your friends underneath your long sleeve.

"No, it's okay," you tell Hyunjin. "I'll just go home and sleep it off."

"Okay. I can walk you for a bit," he says. "Just wait with me here. Minho's coming to give me back something he borrowed."

"Minho's coming?" you ask too quickly for it to sound casual. There's a panicked edge that you can hear in your own voice, though you don't think Hyunjin picks it up as he unlocks his phone and types something on the screen.

"Yeah, he was at the library. He's coming over right now, should only be a couple minutes. Then I'll walk back with you."

You shift on your feet uneasily, but you cover it up by rubbing your hands on your arms to pretend like you're just cold. There's no excuse that you could think of that would justify why you can't stand here with Hyunjin for just two more minutes, without giving it away the fact that you're avoiding Minho.

You take in a quiet breath, put on your best brave face. Casual, nonchalant. It's just Minho. Just Minho...

He comes up from behind, where you can't see him. A warm hand gently lands on your shoulder, and it takes everything not to shy away from his touch. It takes even more not to lean into his side.

You've missed it. You've missed him.

"Hey." He smiles at you while Hyunjin only gets a nod in acknowledgment.

"Hey." You return the smile, though you're sure you look a little rigid. You can tell there's an inkling of confusion in his eyes when he senses that your energy is off, but you're thankful he doesn't comment on it, at least not in front of Hyunjin anyway.

You don't notice the paper bag in his other hand until he hands it to your other friend with a simple Thanks, to which Hyunjin just nods along in a silent You're welcome.

"I was going to walk with Y/N for a bit and then meet Felix for food," he tells Minho. "You wanna get burgers with me and Lix?"

"No, thanks. I'm not hungry, I had a late lunch. I'll take the walk though."

You didn't plan on being alone with Minho today, even though you knew you had to talk to him eventually. You just thought you had a little more time, at least until you got your shit together and face him with a brave façade.

Minho's hand brushes yours the entire time you walk, and it's nothing if not confusing. It's unbearable, the way your fingers twitch with the urge to intertwine them with his.

It persists even after Hyunjin has waved you goodbye to you two and turned to head wherever he and Felix agreed to meet. You think Minho would hold your hand now that it's just you and him, but he doesn't. He lets your skin continue to brush, lets you suffer alone and wanting in your sunken disappointment.

It has very little to do with him and everything to do with you, the conflicting thoughts inside your head piling up one by one the more time you spend in his presence.

Dove, the brief display of jealousy at Yeonjun's party, the way he looks at you sometimes that you can't really decipher the meaning behind, how he kisses you so tenderly that it can't possibly be strictly platonic. You want these things to all mean something, and yet...

You want him to hold your hand, but you know you'd wave it off if he tries to reach for your fingers. You want him to stop you right then and there to kiss you breathless, just as he had that night two weeks ago, even though you're sure you'd only dodge his lips and push him away. You want to stay, you want to leave. You're terrified of things changing, but you wish that something, anything, would be different for him; that you aren't the only one who's spinning out of control. You love him, but you wish you didn't.

Eventually, Minho asks, "You okay?"

It's not until now that you realize this is the first time you've ever been this quiet around him. You purse your lips, glancing down briefly at your feet as you keep on treading the rest of the way home. "Yeah, all good. I'm just tired," you tell him, visibly unenthusiastic despite the smile you try to fake. "I just need to sleep it off."

"The project stressing you out?"

"I guess, yeah."

"And here I thought maybe you were avoiding me," he says, half a joke, half inquisitive. "Were you?"

"Was I what?"

"Were you avoiding me?"

You give him a weird look, one that's meant to be dismissive and call his question ridiculous even though you know you've been caught. And maybe it's the over-the-top glance that you throw his way and the way your pitch goes higher when you reply, "Why would I be avoiding you?" that makes him stop walking.

On the other side of the street, there's a couple of kids in high school uniforms, exchanging shy glances and sharing fond giggles.

Minho calls your name softly, and it's like you're just waiting for the ball to drop. You don't want to turn back and look at him, but what other option do you have? What else is there to do?

You can't decipher the expression on his face. He's still calm, but the air has turned serious, the silence of the mostly empty streets surrounding you only serves as the soundtrack of your impending heartbreak. The tender and innocent laughter fades away when young love moves further and further from where you stand. "What?" you ask with faux nonchalance as you look at him, another attempt at stalling. Biding your time even though a few more minutes aren't going to do any good for your case.

Anyone with half a braincell could tell that clearly it's not the truth, let alone someone who has learned to read you better than the back of his hand. He doesn't look like he believes you, though he doesn't push it, much to your surprise.

"Okay," he says after a moment of studying you, and this should be the part where you heave a sigh of relief because he's letting you off the hook for now, but your chest doesn't feel lighter at all. Your head is clouded with dread, with the anticipation that you're only delaying the inevitable.

You walk the rest of the way in awful silence, because you know that he knows something is wrong. You try your best to appear composed, but he sees right through you. You know he does.

You must look like a frightened animal, one that's about to take off running any second now.

When you reach your building, Minho is quick to keep you with him before you can make up a lame excuse and bolt.

"Hey," he starts, his voice so impossibly gentle that it hurts. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Heavier and heavier, it weighs you down until you feel like your chest is going to collapse. The nerves gnaw on you, clawing into you until you feel your heartbeat quicken, the overwhelming dread simmering low in your belly.

"I know," you say, but deep down, what you're really thinking is, Not this. This is the one thing I can't tell you.

"Is everything okay?"

It's the way that Minho's got his gaze set on you with those deep brown irises, the concern so apparent in them that it hurts you. It's the way he looks like he wants to reach out and touch you - a comforting hand on your shoulder or your back like you're so familiar with - but he has to hold himself back or you might slip away.

It's him, how he always puts you first, how he cares about you in ways that you've never been cared about before. He understands you, he sees you. It feels like it could be love if you let the lines blur just enough.

Is love supposed to hurt? Like this?

Maybe it's not that you don't know how to hold love. Maybe it's because you're not meant to hold it at all. Insignificant, unlovable.

And... it's the reminder that cuts through the dread like the sharpest knife.

You leave his question unanswered, because nothing is okay and you can't tell him any of it. You can't lie to him either, because it's the last thing that you want to do to him.

Instead, you ask, "We're good... right? We're okay?"

"What do you mean?"

You gesture between the two of you, though you're not sure what that's supposed to signify. "Just...," you trail off for a second, hesitant. "Nothing's changed, right?"

Minho doesn't answer right away. He looks at you for a moment, searching for something in your eyes that you can't tell if he's able to find.

He nods, seemingly wistful as he says, "Nothing's changed."

He seems unsure about it, at least more than he was just a few weeks ago when he told you the same thing in your apartment with his fingers wrapped around your wrist. The tug between his brows - though barely noticeable - tells you as much.

Is it because something is different now? Or does he only sound uncertain out of concern, because of you and how you're acting?

Then he continues, "For me, at least."

And there it is.

It's the confirmation this time around that turns you inside out so his simple words could cut into you.

You swallow thickly, put on a smile like you're pleased with his answer even though you're trying your hardest to stop yourself from shaking. Whatever energy you had left is instantly drained from you just because of a few words.

Your sentences get smashed together, tangled up like barbed wire and they only make you bleed when you try to pull them apart. All your nervous tics coming out to play despite your best efforts to keep them at bay. A frustrated hand running through your hair, gripping at the roots a little harshly. Your bottom lip pulled between your teeth and your eyes turning glassy for a split second before you blink the moisture away, because you can't let Minho see you like this. See you trying to keep your pathetic heart intact while he's none the wiser.

He's fine. And unlike you, he's going to be okay when this is over.

Unavoidable and inevitable, the end will come whether you like it or not. You're the only one who won't make it out unscathed, and it will only shatter you into more pieces the longer you drag this out.

Just rip the bandaid off. Salvage whatever you can. Stop digging the grave even deeper for yourself.

One second, then two, then three. You don't speak until you have enough faith that your voice is even enough to carry out a few sentences.

"Okay, uhm... I think I need some time for myself. We should..." But it isn't, and you crack halfway through. The sound is deafening to your own ears. "We should take a break. We should stop this."

Minho doesn't question if you mean the secret between the two of you, or your friendship entirely. Instead, he asks, "Why?"

"I told you." You clear your throat. "I need time for myself."

You can't tell what he's thinking, but the knife twists inside of you nonetheless.

He takes a step closer, you take a step back.

You watch as his face falls, and the same feeling mirrors itself within the confines of your ribcage. Your heart drops at the sight of his eyes, deep brown irises stained with a little confusion, then a little hurt though it lasts for only a few seconds. The slight slump of his shoulders, the absence of the familiar playfulness he always sports when he's with you.

He blinks.

"Time for yourself, or time away from me?"

You say nothing.

You don't address his question directly, and your reluctance to do so is a loud enough answer in and of itself. "Why does that matter? What's the difference?"

"It matters if I did something to upset you."

"You didn't."

"Okay. So?"

This is confusing, because he's not letting you rip the bandaid clean off and you don't know why. "Nothing's changed, right? If it didn't mean anything to you, why can't you just drop this?"

Minho is quiet for a beat. His eyes are searching again, but this time, you think he finds something.

Everything is still and you hate it - the silence of the streets, the scrutinizing orange glow of the streetlights as if they're watching the scene unfold, even the innocent cat that's sitting by itself on the balcony on one of the floors higher up. You hate all of it.

"I never said it didn't mean anything," he tells you.

It makes you a little angry for some reason, and there's enough red to cloud your vision because his words are contradicting and you're tired, you're so exhausted that you can't focus on what it is that he's really saying.

"So you lied to me?"

"I've never lied to you."

"I asked you before and you said nothing's changed. Now you're saying whatever this is didn't not mean anything. Make up your mind."

It gets redder when he keeps his eyes fixed on you, still so calm despite the frown that has returned to its place between his brows. Still so collected, while you're being pulled apart at the seams.

The ball doesn't drop the way you expect it to. It keeps falling so insufferably slowly, hanging over you like it's mocking you for being stupid, like it's milking every second of suspense to make you implode.

Until Minho speaks next and suddenly, it feels like the air has been sucked out of your lungs. His voice, still so soft and tender. His eyes, reading something in yours that you can't bear to admit out loud.

"You really don't see it, do you?"

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 24.06.2024]

[p-redux]

Inbox Summary 9/29/2023

Hi peeps, so I'm going to try something new. For some of your Asks in my Inbox, instead of answering them individually, I'm going to do a combined summary post of all of them.

I'm doing this because a lot of the questions are about past stuff I've already answered. I don't have time to keep answering the same questions (Search is your friend, my friends), I don't want to take up space on my blog to answer stuff that has already been answered, and the main thing is, I'm TIRED.

I'm in one of my fandom "meh" moods. I get into fandom funks every once in a while, where I'm over it, and don't feel like posting. BUT, I love you guys, and I know the next big scoop is just around the corner. Every time, I say to myself, I'm just going to fandom retire, Cait gets engaged, Sam is seen with a new woman, Cait gets married, Sam is seen with a new woman, I get the scoop AHEAD of time that Cait is pregnant (remember when I posted MONTHS before that someone from Outlander was pregnant? and 'lo and behold, that August, Cait announced she'd had her son), Sam is seen with a new woman, Cait has her baby, etc, etc. So, I don't give up...because I know there's more stuff coming, and also, like I said, I really enjoy my Team here.

So, what I'm going to do is either on Fridays, Saturdays, or Sundays, depending on how busy I am, I'm going to do a weekly summary of answers to some of my Inbox questions. They will be short answers. And for further details, you guys can just Search my blog or Search Google.

I'll still answer some questions individually, but it will depend on the subject, and how busy I am in RL. Please keep sending me questions and DM's. I'll answer them. Some won't be answered as in depth as others, that's all.

So, here we go for this week's round up...in no particular order:

Susie Evans is in Austin with friends.

_

Sam is still in the UK. Cait is in Paris.

_

Sam is expected in New York next week, for the Keepers of the Quaich event ON Cait's birthday, October 4. For those gnashing "why do you think Cait wouldn't go to New York to spend her birthday with Sam?! She could?! They're friends?!" Um, yes, they're friends...but REALITY CHECK: Cait is married to Tony McGill and has a toddler son with him. Logic dictates that Cait and family aren't going to schlep from Europe to New York to be with Sam, who is simply her friend and costar, and NOTHING MORE. Cait will spend her birthday with her husband and son, and she has a TON of friends, she's not going to fly to NY expressly for Sam. Plus, he's BUSY on her birthday, remember? He's going to be at that Keepers of the Quaich event.

_

No, Sam and Sophie Skelton never dated. Sam never posts who he dates (except when he went Instagram official with Mackenzie Mauzy, but that was after 2 years of a committed relationship), and he posted pics with Sophie on a motorcycle at his Glasgow home. If they were secretly dating, he would have been much more secretive about it. I mean, I hope Sam is into some kink, but da/daughter ain't one of them. Who's your daddy? hahaha.

_

By now, we all know Sam's ex, Abbie Salt is fighting some type of cancer. Yes, she hasn't posted in a while. I'm worried about her too. But her sister, Charlotte Salt, has posted, and she posts on her professional design IG accounts as well. If Abbie had taken a turn for the worse, I don't think her sister would be posting. I hope Abbie makes a full recovery, wish her all the best.

_

Yes, I know, Sam's ex, Anna Modler is pregnant and having a baby girl.

_

Thanks for letting me know that two other of Sam's exes, Hannah James and Mackenzie Mauzy recently started following birthing, doula, and parenting accounts on IG. Looks like their next adventure is motherhood. Also wish them all the best.

_

The podcast with that IG influencer that was supposedly going to have some Sam content, as far as I know, there hasn't been any Sam mention. So, that was all smoke and mirrors, trying to get some free advertisement. Nothing to see there.

_

The two blonde, blue-eyed Scottish IG influencers supposedly being linked with Sam. I see no evidence of that. Again, seems to be just smoke and mirrors, and names dropped in my Inbox to see if I would post them or not. Nothing to see there.

_

Asking for a cheat sheet of the women Sam has dated and what do certain initials mean. I've done plenty of posts summarizing the women Sam has dated. Please Search my blog or Search Google. As for initials, I don't use initials, I post full names. So, if you see a woman's initials, match them to the full names I've posted.

_

Cait's dad's funeral. And do I have questions about Sam being there? Um, that's all Extreme Shipper bullshit, lies, spin, deception, and now they've sold it as shipper canon. NO, I don't have any questions because WHO was at Cait's father's funeral is VERY clear. Again, Search what I've posted. There are pic, video of Cait sitting next to her mother, and the "Sam is sitting next to Cait but he's wearing a wig" is her brother. NOT Sam. Tony is sitting in the rows behind, holding baby BalfeMcGill, as are other spouses. NO ONE from Outlander went to Cait's dad's funeral. Please THINK. Cait has a big family and she has a TON of friends, some she has known for YEARS. If anyone was going to go all the way to Ireland for her father's funeral, it would be her immediate and LARGE extended family, all the family's friends in Ireland, and then Cait's close friends. Sam and Outlander people aren't even in the first few rungs of WHO would get invited to the funeral. And yes, that includes, Sam Heughan. Besides, Sam was in Las Vegas during the funeral, and there are lots of posts showing that.

_

I know the TRUTH about Cait and Sam never dating, and Cait being with Tony since 2014. I know this thru verifiable and identifiable sources who directly and personally know Cait, Sam, and Tony. So, there are NO questions for me, because I've known the TRUTH for 9 years. It's that simple.

_

As, for my little frothy pet troll who sends me weekly rants about Sam. You can keep going, but all I do is laugh and laugh at how pathetic you are. What you write doesn't upset me because I'm not personally invested in Sam. I'm really not. I post about him because I get info about him, and people are interested in it. But I don't care one way or the other. My IP tracker tells me where the basement is from where you gnash and froth so desperately. So, go ahead, make my day, but I'm NEVER going to post what you send me. You'll never get that satisfaction. Never. Try me.

Okay, peeps, that's it for the summary. I may do more on Sunday. And like I said, I'll still answer individual questions, depending on what they are. If you ever want to know something from the past, please just Search my blog. If you can't find it there, then go to Google and Search p-redux and names or words you're looking for, and all my past posts will pop up.

Thanks for reading!

[ming-yu-hao]

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder | Chapter 1

Pairing: fratboy!mingyu x female reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Synopsis: When you transferred to a different university, you and Wonwoo promised that you would make long distance work. But distance proves to be more difficult than you both originally thought.

This Chapter’s Tags: some angst ig, light cheating? (not really lol), mingyu is just flirty, female masturbation, mentions of alcohol and weed

Warning: THIS SERIES IS ABOUT CHEATING. DO NOT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!

A/N: it’s gonna get spicy soon just trust me ;)

Chapters: Next | Masterlist

30 minutes. That's how long you had spent anxiously perched in front of your computer, waiting for the familiar ring of the video call to echo through the speakers. You cycled between scrolling through social media, checking your reflection in the camera, and debating on whether or not to text Wonwoo. You understood that he was busy; it wasn't unusual for either of you to call a few minutes later than you had originally planned. But Wonwoo had never left you hanging for this long without an explanation. Normally, your mind would begin to fixate on the worst case scenario, but Wonwoo had already cancelled on you the past two weeks because he was busy working.

The loud vibration of your phone against your desk drew you out of your thoughts, and you hurriedly picked it up and saw Wonwoo's name glowing across the screen. "Hello?" You answered quickly.

"Hey," Wonwoo's deep voice sounded through the phone. "You're gonna hate me," He chuckled.

"I could never," You replied. You already knew the next words that were going to come out of his mouth.

"I can't FaceTime tonight." He explained. Even though you saw it coming, you couldn't help the feeling of disappointment that weighed heavy on your chest.

Your eyes met with the reflection displayed on the laptop screen. It taunted you, reminding you that Wonwoo's face wouldn't be there to replace it once again. "Well, I would be a lot happier right now if you told me that half an hour ago," You laughed bitterly. Running a hand through your hair, you quietly sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry." Wonwoo apologized. His voice was laced with genuine sorrow; you could clearly picture the frown that lined his lips right now. He added after a moment of silence, "I don't wanna keep doing this to you, so I think we should change our date day. I've been working more Fridays lately."

You nodded despite him not being able to see you and hummed in agreement. "What day then?" You asked.

"I'm not sure yet. I still have to figure out my schedule. Just text me what works for you and I'll let you know soon, okay?" He sighed.

"Oh, okay... yeah." Your lips drew into a tighter line with each word he spoke.

"Okay, I have to get to get back to work right now. I'm sorry again." He continued quickly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The three tones signaled the end of the call, and slowly you pulled the phone away from your ear. Your tired reflection stared back at you. Finally, you shut the computer for the third Friday in a row.

The remainder of the weekend passed and you had barely heard anything from Wonwoo except for the usual good morning and goodnight texts. By the time Wednesday came around, the both of you finally agreed that Saturday could be your new set day for FaceTime dates. You powered through the rest of the week, and on Saturday you excitedly set aside all the work from your classes and waited patiently for Wonwoo to call.

You really missed him. It'd been just over two months now since you last saw him in person, when you moved into your dorm at a university three hours away from the one where you and Wonwoo met. He stayed behind while you transferred to a college with a renowned journalism program. At first, you were hesitant to leave him, but Wonwoo refused to let you give up such a great opportunity just to stay close to him. That was what you loved about him: he wanted to see you be happy and successful.

Situating yourself comfortably on the bed, you pulled up some random Netflix series to entertain yourself while waiting for Wonwoo. You only half paid attention, glancing between the computer screen and your Instagram feed on your phone. Time crawled, and slowly you sunk deeper into the softness of the mattress below.

Cold, small hands shook you awake. You rubbed your eyes and sat up, disoriented. The series you were watching was still playing quietly. Your roommate, Jisoo, stood next to your bed with her arms crossed over her chest. She stared at you with a raised eyebrow. "You're passed out by 7 on a Saturday night?" A teasing smile was displayed across her face as she shut your laptop.

You suddenly realized that it was an hour past the time that Wonwoo had promised to FaceTime you. Your heart sunk in your chest as you thought about how you probably missed his call without an explanation. You picked up your phone, but quickly noticed the notification for a missed phone call from him, followed by a text that said: I'm so sorry, something came up I promise I'll call you tomorrow.

Jisoo surveyed you for a moment; a more serious expression began to cross her features. She sat down at the bottom of your bed. "Did something happen?"

You rolled your eyes and looked down at your hands. "Wonwoo cancelled on me again," You sighed, "But I shouldn't be mad at him for it. It's not his fault he's busy."

Jisoo tsked and patted your leg through the sheets. "Of course you can be upset! How many times has it been now?"

"This entire month. And he always cancels super late."

She scoffed, "See! That's shitty. If this was the first time it wouldn't have been a big deal. But four times?" She stood up quickly and opened up her wardrobe. "If he wants long distance to work, he needs to have better communication."

"Yeah, I guess." You replied. Jisoo held a black top up to her figure, observing herself in the mirror. "Where are you going?" You inquired.

"A party at the SVT frat. You know any of them?" She explained while changing her outfit.

You had heard of the frat before, but you racked your brain for any of their names and couldn't remember one. "I don't think so."

Jisoo faced you again and smiled. "Well, let's go."

You chuckled, "No way."

She pouted. "Come on. You haven't gone out with me I'm so long. You're in college!" Jisoo begged. "Just this once. You'll have fun."

Jisoo had a point. You really had nothing else better to do besides sit around and mope over Wonwoo ditching you. You let out an exhasperated sigh of defeat, "Fine, I'll go."

"Yes! Go get all cute and dressed up." She cheered.

You emerged from your bed and strolled over to your own closet. "Alright, I'll be quick."

You and Jisoo walked into the party hand in hand. Immediately, the stench of weed and sweat overwhelmed you. Loud music vibrated through the walls of the house and clashed with the sounds of people cheering and yelling. An intense game of beer pong captured the attention of most people in the main room, but you could see a separate crowd gathered in the kitchen too.

"Who do you know here again?" You shouted over the music at Jisoo, not seeing a single person you recognized so far.

She leaned closer to you so you could hear. "Choi Seungcheol. I have a chemistry class with him." She scanned the room and suddenly perked up. "Oh, there he is!" She called his name and pulled you along with her towards him.

He stood against the wall with a red cup in his hand, talking with another tall boy. At the call of his name, he looked over at the two of you and smiled brightly. "Jisoo! I'm so happy you made it." He exclaimed while wrapping his arm around her lower back. Seungcheol watched you with kind eyes as you approached him. "And who is this?" He asked Jisoo.

"This is my roommate, Y/N. Y/N, this is Seungcheol." She introduced you both and you smiled and gave a small wave to the two boys.

The other boy flashed you a sweet smile that caused his eyes to form into crescents. "I'm Seokmin. I live here with Cheol." He explained.

All four of you continued to converse casually until Seungcheol pointed to you and Seokmin and said, "Hey, why don't you two go get some drinks? We'll wait here." You swore you saw a gleam of mischief in his eyes, and you quickly glanced at Jisoo to see if she noticed it too, but her expression remained neutral. This was exactly why you strayed away from parties. You wanted to avoid any encounters with flirty, drunk frat boys. But Jisoo, who was basically a mind reader, didn't react, so maybe you were just being overly paranoid.

You nodded and walked over to the kitchen, Seokmin following close behind, and watched as he began to mix some drinks together for the four of you. He let out a frustrated sigh as one of the bottles of liquor reached its end. Seokmin peeked over his shoulder and shouted, "Mingyu! Can you get me the other bottle of vodka?" You perked up at the familiar-sounding name, but couldn't remember where you had heard it before.

A moment later a presence approached you and Seokmin from behind and set the bottle down on the counter. "Now you have to make me one too," The deep voice joked. You turned around and immediately recognized the tall figure.

"Mingyu?" You called out in surprise.

His eyes dragged over and met yours. His face lit up instantly as he recognized you. "Y/N! What are you doing here?" Mingyu laughed.

Seokmin turned around and handed a cup to Mingyu with a raised eyebrow. "You guys know each other?" He questioned.

You grabbed your own cup and took a sip of the bittersweet mixture. "Yeah, we have a digital media class together." You said before smirking at Mingyu. "I didn't think you were the frat boy type."

Mingyu rested his right hand on the counter beside you, almost trapping you in between the wood and his body. "I guess I'm just full of surprises," He replied.

You felt your heart flutter in your chest at his flirty response. This was a whole new side of him that you had never seen before in class. Granted, he was most likely tipsy and maybe even a bit high, but in class he was usually polite and reserved. He cracked jokes with you sometimes, but you never expected him to be so bold. On top of that, he always had his hair styled back neatly. Now, his dark hair fell over his forehead in messy curls. His skin was sheathed in a light layer of sweat, and the muscles in his arms and chest were suddenly more prominent under his white tee in the dim light of the house. You had to admit, he was ridiculously attractive.

"I'm gonna go give this to Cheol and Jisoo," Seokmin interrupted before leaving the kitchen with both cups in his hands.

Silently, you started behind him and Mingyu walked with you. "So what are you doing here?" He asked again as the two of you rounded the corner and entered the living room.

"My roommate was invited and made me go with her," You told him. You continued to sip your drink, basking in the warm feeling that the alcohol left in your chest.

"Makes sense. I didn't expect you to be a party girl." He teased. His arm slowly snaked around your waist and squeezed your hip lightly. Your skin tingled beneath his touch but you didn't give him any physical reaction, opting to just ignore the grip he had on you.

Your jaw dropped in a fake gasp. "You think I'm boring or something?" You narrowed your eyes at him and he chuckled.

"I never said that," He responded with a smirk on his lips.

Seungcheol and Jisoo had migrated from the spot where they previously stood, so you scanned the crowded room for the long haired girl. Finally you noticed her sitting close to Seungcheol on the couch. You could see they were laughing about something and considering Seokmin wasn't hovering near them anymore either, you decided to leave them be.

Mingyu noticed where you were looking and raised his eyebrows at you when you turned back to look at him. "Well, I guess my roommate is busy," You rolled your eyes.

You had forgotten about Mingyu's hand on your waist until he squeezed it again. "Good thing you have me then," He bantered. Your skin flushed; you slightly leaned into his touch. It had been so long since you felt someone else's hands roam across your body. You missed the feeling.

Mingyu slowly pulled your body closer to his until your chest was centimeters away. You gulped and dragged your eyes up to meet his. He stared at you intensely, his other hand coming up to caress your cheek. Your breathing hitched as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip. "You're so pretty," He muttered. It felt like fire had lit up your entire body. Your nerves tingled and your brain felt fuzzy and you hated to admit it but you could feel arousal growing between your legs. Somehow Mingyu pulled you even closer than before and you felt his hard cock brush against your thigh through his jeans. His tongue darted out against his lips and he inched his face towards yours. "Can I kiss you?" He whispered just inches away from you lips.

Guilt imprisoned you as soon as he said those words. They reminded you of where you were, and what you were planning on doing. You closed your eyes and pulled yourself out of his grasp. "I have a boyfriend," You admitted briskly.

Mingyu stared at you in confusion. "What?"

Shame overtook you. Wonwoo had trusted you to remain loyal, and here you were at a frat party, leading on some poor boy from your class.

Mingyu lightly grabbed your wrist. "Hey, I'm sorry. I should've asked-" He started, but you quickly cut him off.

"No, I'm sorry. This is my fault." You apologized and pulled your wrist out of his grasp. You looked at him; he stared at you with a sorrowful gaze. The regret on your face was evident and he knew that he had helped in bringing this guilt upon you.

"I- I have to go do something," You added before turning around and darting towards the door. You didn't bother to turn around or look for Jisoo, you just needed to get out of there as fast as possible. Once you were outside, you inhaled a sharp breath and pulled out your phone to call for an Uber. You waited near the street, sending a text to Jisoo to let her know that you felt sick and went home while you waited.

Eventually the Uber pulled up and you hurriedly sat down and told the driver where to go. You breathed a sigh of relief as they finally pulled away from the frat.

The drive was short, but you spent every one of those few minutes replaying the night's events in your mind. Your flesh still tingled in the places where Mingyu had touched you. Guilt haunted you, but you attempted to lessen that burden by reasoning with yourself. You missed Wonwoo. A lot. You missed hearing his voice and seeing his face and of course feeling his touch against your skin. You hadn't been fucked in over two months now, so it was no wonder that any bit of physical affection would have such a strong effect on you. What mattered is that you stopped it before anything happened. You could live with that, you decided. All you had to do now was just clear up things with Mingyu next week, deal with any awkwardness between you two, and focus on Wonwoo.

When you arrived at your dorm, you quickly changed your clothes, cleansing yourself of the faint smell of weed and the remnants of Mingyu's touch. Not long after, exhaustion began to take over your body. You laid down on the bed, not even bothering to check your phone before closing your eyes and letting sleep overcome you.

You weren't sure what time you fell asleep, but you awoke some time later and glanced at the clock. 11:54 PM. You stretched your arms behind your head and yawned as you scanned the room. Jisoo was still gone. You closed your eyes again and tried to fall back asleep, but your mind began to race.

You could clearly picture Mingyu's lust-filled eyes staring down at you, his hands running over your waist and pulling you towards the heat of his body. The glow of his skin, the messy curls hanging over his forehead, the fullness of his lips as he asked in his husky voice if he could kiss you—the images and sensations swirled around in your thoughts.

In a half asleep daze, you rubbed your thighs together. Friction built between your legs. You groaned quietly as your mind revisited how you felt when Mingyu's hands were on your body. More arousal began to pool in your heat, your underwear clinging to your wetness.

Languidly, you ran your hand down your stomach and toyed with the hem of your underwear before slowly pulling the fabric down your legs. You imagined Mingyu's sharp eyes staring at you from between your thighs as you ran your fingers through your slick folds. Arousal coated your fingers and you began to rub your clit in slow circles. You pretended that Mingyu's thick fingers were the ones teasing your clit, making your legs jolt each time you pressed the right spot.

You moaned quietly and began to grope your own breast. You squeezed and flicked your nipple, causing a quiet gasp to fall from your lips. You pulled your hand away from your clit and slowly pushed two fingers into your dripping heat. "Mmh, Mingyu," You groaned under your breath. You imagined his deep voice saying the dirtiest things to you as he pumped and curled his fingers into your pussy.

You gasped as you hit a particular spot that made you arch your lower back. You continued pumping your fingers at a fast pace until the knot building in your lower stomach snapped. Your eyes rolled back and you let out a sharp whine as an intense feeling of euphoria washed over your body.

Your body relaxed against the sheets as your heart rate began to slow and exhaustion overtook you once again. You sighed contently and wrapped yourself in your blankets, allowing yourself to drift off to sleep.

You promised yourself that you would never do that again.

[amandawritez]

Secret

When JJ finds out you've been been keeping secrets about your insecurities in your relationship he decides to show you just how much you mean to him 

A/N: this is pretty much just going to be smut (there will be a slight plot at he beginning ig)... anywhoo I've always thought about JJ fingering his girl infront of a mirror so here we are

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It was no secret that JJ had been with girls before you, quite a few actually. You really weren't the jealous type, you had no reason to be, you knew JJ loved you and he would never even think about other girls, much less cheat on you. But sometimes you just couldn’t help getting a little insecure over this. 

It was the usual Friday for the pouges, out on the boat all day, then back to John B’s for dinner, a bonfire, and a party. You were sitting by the fire listening to the rest of the group tell stories from the past, from before you had joined the group, laughing along with them and honestly feeling like you were there in those memories too. Pope was telling a story about some party last summer at the boneyard when John B chimed in.

“Oh my god, I Remember exactly what night you're talking about. That was the night JJ got hammered and hooked up with that blonde touron chick..” the sentence flowed out of him before he could even think about what he was saying and it suddenly got eerily quiet, everyone’s eyes avoiding yours. You just laughed lightly brushing off the comment and tried to break the awkward silence by speaking up.

“Yeah sounds like JJ, when did he not blackout last summer I'd love to hear one of those stories.” you laughed and everyone else laughed along and then began to talk about something else, moving on from the previous topic. JJ eyed you and he knew that it bothered you but you just gave him a smile and a wink to play it cool. 

You really had no reason to be jealous, it was before JJ even knew you existed he's with you now and plus he never talks about those girls anymore..but what if he still thinks about them, you thought to yourself. The thought of JJ still thinking about his ex’s made you feel uneasy and you decided to brush off the thoughts by heading inside to get another drink. 

You were standing in the kitchen when heard footsteps and knew it was JJ following you in. After your poured your drink into your cup you turned around and leaned against the counter eyeing him. 

“Hi there.” you said as he walked up to give you a kiss on the forehead and stand next to you. 

“Hey princess, are you okay?” he asked with a worried expression on his face. 

“Of course, I’m fine just came to get another drink.” you lied, and he knew you were lying he could always tell when you weren't being honest. 

“Are you sure, I know what they said out there kind of made things awkward but you know that was before I ever knew you and trust me I wish I could take it all back.” you were quiet after he said that, you knew he was right but you head was spinning with horrible thoughts. 

“How many girls have you been with?” you blurted out without even thinking about it. You immediately wished you could take it back, why the hell would you ask that, you knew the answer was only going to hurt you and it didn’t even matter, his past doesn't effect your relationship. 

“Oh um..” he thought for a moment not expecting  you to ask but you cut him off before he could answer.

“I just shouldn’t have asked that I’m sorry don't answer it, it definitely doesn’t matter. I’m so sorry I’m so immature, I was just feeling insecure sometimes I just get scared that I’m not good enough for you, I was only with one guy before and sometimes I’m scared maybe I’m not...experienced enough for you.” You stared at the floor embarrassed that you have just told him all of that, you thought you sounded so stupid. 

He stepped closer and lifted your chin so you had to look him in the eyes, “(y/n) I love you, and I don’t care how many guys you’ve been with or how experienced you are I love you for you.” He pulled you into a hug and rested his chin on your head. “Cmon lets go talk somewhere alone.” He said grabbing your hand and walking towards the extra bedroom in John B’s house.  

He closed the door behind you and sat down on the edge of the bed while you stood infront of him. He randomly grabbed you by the back of your legs and pulled you to straddle his lap causing you to yelp in surprise. JJ pushed you hair behind your ear and then placed his hand behind your neck pulling you in for a kiss. The kiss was slow and passionate and he bit down on your lip and tugged slightly knowing it was your favorite thing. His hands slid down your body to grip your hips and push you down to grind on his quickly hardening bulge. When you pulled away from the kiss his eyes were blown out and you could tell he was getting turned on. When he spotted the mirror behind you he got a dirty idea, something he's always wanted to try and now was the perfect time. 

He easily lifted you by the back of your thighs and walked about 3 feet before setting you down. Before you could ask what he was doing he turned you around so your back was against his chest and you realized you two were standing infront of the full length mirror placed in the corner.  He gently brushed your hair off of your shoulder and pulled it to the side. His lips slowly lowered to press into your shoulder and across your collar bone as his finger slipped the strap of of your top off your shoulder. His lips worked their way up your neck and stopped right below your earlobe to suck harshly surely leaving a mark but neither of you cared. 

“So here's what we’re going to do, I want you to realize how fucking beautiful you are to me, I want you to see it from my point of view, you understand?” he asked and you nodded nervously. 

“So, I’m going to fuck you infront of this mirror and I really want you to watch okay?” he asked again as he slipped his hands around to the front of your body and began to unbutton your pants and slip them down your legs when they hit the ground you kicked them away off of your ankles. 

He followed by pulling off your top leaving you in just your bra and underwear. You instinctively brought your hands to cover yourself as it felt strange to be standing infront of a mirror, But he tsked and pulled your hands way from your body.

“Uh uh, no you don’t need to cover up it’s just me and you okay.” He ran his hands down the side of your body and left a trail of goosebumps in their path. 

He began to kiss your neck again slowly as his hands moved to your back to unclasp your bra and pull it down your arms to hit the ground. Your nipples immediately hardened due to the cold air. His hands snaked back around your body and up to your chest tweaking your nipples causing your back to arch and you to suck in a gasp. He continued his attack on your neck while his hands moved down and he slipped his fingers into both sides of your panties on your hips and pushed them down your legs. 

“Why don't we sit down baby girl, before your legs start shaking like they usually do, yeah.” this sentence alone was enough to make you wet. He sat down on the floor, his legs were spread to make room for you as he leaned back on his hands behind him. 

You were nervous and weren't sure what he wanted you to do so you sat down between his legs and brought your legs to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. JJ shook his head and leaned forward lighting pulling your arms from their place and pulling your back onto his chest. Then he reached forward using his hands to pull your legs apart widely. 

“Look at you princess, you're soaked practically dripping on the floor.” He ran his hand down your stomach and right over where you needed him most, instead he traced circles on your thigh. He knew exactly what he was doing he loved teasing you, watching you get all riled up to the point where you were practically begging JJ to fuck you, but today wasn't one of those days. 

His hand finally slipped between your thighs and he ran a finger up and down your wet folds, and you released a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding in. When his fingers came up to circle your clit your head fell back onto his shoulder and a small moan slipped passed your lips. 

“No baby look at yourself I want to see your eyes open.” he stated as he pushed his middle finger into you knuckle deep, surprising you. You lifted your head and opened your eyes and you were definitely a sight to see. Your eyes were hooded and blown out completely filled with lust, purple hickeys were littered down your neck and you looked lower to see your chest rising and falling quickly, below that were your hands lightly gripping JJ’s thighs. But at your core you could see JJ’s one finger slowly pushing in as deep as he can and curling slightly. 

JJ was going painstakingly slow, teasing you so badly and now wasn’t the time for this, you needed more but you knew he just wanted to hear you ask for it.

“JJ, please I-I need more please go faster.” He pulled his finger out of you and circled your clit for a moment you could see you were already dripping down his fingers, his rings were covered in your juices and you had never seen something so attractive. 

He finally moved his fingers back to your entrance and pushed in his ring and middle finger deeply causing you to gasp and grip his thighs tighter. As he picked up his pace you couldn't stop the moans from falling from your lips and you attempted to keep your eyes open like JJ instructed but it was so hard when JJ was fucking you up like this, his fingers curled deep inside of you and he pulled them out to circle your clit again. 

Your chest was heaving and he knew you were climbing quickly towards your orgasm but he hasn’t done yet. JJ pushed in three fingers, this time slowly stretching you out letting you adjust for a moment before beginning to pull his fingers in and out of you again, curling them when he hit his deepest point inside of you causing the knot in your stomach to tighten even more. He watched as your eyes rolled back and profanities and moans fell from your delicate lips. He picked up his speed even more and he knew you were getting extremely close as your legs started to shake slightly. 

“JJ, I-I’m gonna cum keep going please, fuck” You moaned out and he went even faster, hearing you moan his name was more than enough motivation. 

“Be a good girl and cum for me angel, cum on my fingers,” he whispered in your ear driving you over the edge. All that could be heard were the moans tumbling out of your mouth and the loud wet noises coming from your pussy as JJ worked you through your high. He slowed his fingers down but continued to push them in and out of you until he was sure you were done. 

You slumped against his chest and panted heavily as he pulled his fingers out of you. After calming down you turned your head slightly to the side to kiss him. 

“Thank you JJ, I love you so much.” you mumbled as you continued to kiss him and turn fully around. Your hands dropped to his lap and began to undo his belt and he looked at you confused. 

“Now I think its your turn to see what you look like hm, do you want me to suck you off.” Hearing that made his dick twitch in his pants and a groan to leave his mouth. You grinned and giggled at him as he nodded frantically. 

“Fuck, I have the best girlfriend ever.” He said making you laugh lightly as you dropped your head. 

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A/N: someone get me some water... also sorry if that was kinda shitty I wrote a much longer much better version of this that took SO long and when I went to save it my entire computer froze and then it just disappeared which is so lovely. Anyways please send me requests!! and feedback makes me so happy if you loved it leave a comment ill probs cry tears of joy :’)

[kaylorfails]

Yes, Karlies Kloss is married.

I normally don’t do debunks but the outright lies being spread and about about Karlie Kloss’s marraige to Josh Kushner are annoying, so here we go.

On July 24 2018, People announces that Karlie and Josh got engaged X . This wasn’t a surprise to those of us not kaylors, it was quite obvious, but before the announcement all was well in kaylorland on July 23rd:

This surprised and angered a lot of kaylors whose reactions went from “they’re stigmatising lesbianism” (X), “this is horrible news” (X), “she’s going to jail” (X), “they’ll never get married” (X) (X). “it’s part of the fucking story” (X), “giving you the truth is not my call to make” (X), to “publicity stunt” (X) 

While kaylors were bemoaning her lack of ring, Karlie showed it off (X), posted insta stories about her friends and family reacting to the news just to rub it in further (X). Congrats from the sisters-in-law (X) (X), parents-in-law (X), Toni Garrn (X).

That was just the antipasto, now onto the main dish. I’ll be using “you” in this. This is a debunk directed at kaylors, so never mind that.

On Otcober 18 2018, Karlie Kloss got married to Josh Kushner and prior to that, she made a spotify playlist with her wedding date.

“She isn’t Jewish and didn’t converted” She is and she did. Apart from the fact that a British Vogue video in 2015 showed “meeting a Rabbi” in her notebook, shes’s spoken about it in Vogue in 2018, on WWHL, and recently with Naomi Campbell. Her conversion has also been discussed on various Jewish publications (X) (X). Any further insistence she didn’t convert is antisemitic. There’s only so much ignorance can excuse.

“A thursday wedding is weird” It would be if they were WASP or Catholic. Even then, I’d still call it unusual at best. But they’re Orthodox Jews. Shabbat, a weekly 25-hour observance from just before sundown each Friday through the completion of nightfall on Saturday, would make the usual saturday wedding not possible. For a Jewish couple, thursday is a good day to get married. I could understand thinking thursday is a weird day if you’re not Jewish, but insisting it is after being informed about it, is offensive.

For your information, ttb, a blog run a white, straight, definitely not Jewish woman and followed by many non jewish kaylors, is telling you about Judaism.

I don’t get the “photoshoot” argument. The kaylor fandom is literally build on a Vogue photoshoot actually used for promo (X). It was also a blatant ripoff of Poppy Delevigne and Alexa Chung’s bestfriend shoot (X) (X).

“The wedding was a photoshoot” You know those beautiful wedding pictures you might have seen on facebook or instagram? They were taken by professional photographers. Not by a ghost or potatoes, professional photographers. Yes, you can gasp.

And they are hired to do their job and do it beautifully. I don’t know what kaylors real life wedding experiences are, but there’s this thing called pre-wedding shoots people like doing at their weddings. Yes, it’s a weird world we live in. These pictures end up in a strange thing called wedding book, which will be shown to friends and family, future babies and grandbabies, and unsuspecting guests. Or burned if the marriage ends in a divorce.

Professional videographers are also hired to film the whole thing. From the bride waking up, to her getting her makeup done, her friends being silly, to her leaving her wedding reception. The world is wild.

On the wedding day, the pictures were posted on Hongbo Li’s instagram:

A friend of hers demanded it to be taken down (Karlie follows this friend on IG):

Who is HongBo Li? A comment on a ttb post gave us the answer:

And he’s also mentioned in this Vogue writeup about haute couture. As you can see, he isn’t some random kaylor voraciously living through strangers. he’s actually worked on various celebrities wedding dresses. Karlie didn’t put on a local store wedding dress, she actually had one Dior designed for her. That lucky bitch! I mean oppressed lucky bitch!

Onto the photographer. Her wedding pictures were taken by Heather Hazzan, A NY based photographer and very good and successful at her job:

Again, Karlie didn’t get a random photographer for her wedding, she got the best.The only thing this is proving is that being rich and famous gets you access. And not ony is she rich, she also married an obscenely rich man. The picture of the oppressed.

“There was nothing showing a wedding was going on” Now, that’s a lie. Should Karlie have released a full movie showing every detail? For why? You’d still call her wedding fake:

JK robes and hotdog stands (The guy is Kristine’s boyfriend):

More (X) Go through this tag you lazy bags! I’m tired.

Karlie getting prepared for her wedding (X) (X) (X). An expression you might have while your sister is being forced to fake a wedding:

“None of her friends were there” While I’m sure there’ve been many guestless weddings and they’re just as valid as the populated ones, this doesn’t seem to be one of those.

A childhood friend who didn’t get the memo about this being a stunt:

Toni Garrn, a kaylors appointed ex gf, posted this a whole year after the wedding:

David Geffen showing you’ve been sold a bridge about this being fake:

Ashley Graham speaking about being a guest at the wedding.

“She doesn’t look happy” Uhm, if you say so. Here’s Karlie being an unhappy and miserable being on her wedding day and here she looks devastedly sad looking at her wedding dress.

“There was no wedding reception” As Katy Perry would: “Time, the ultimate truth teller” Here’s the video Karlie posted on her 2nd anniversary showing there was indeed a wedding reception.

A pre-wedded Karlie with Josh and his parents.

Everything pointed to this being a real wedding and not a woods photoshoot you’ve been told it is. I’ve yet to see the magazine spread this shoot was supposedly made for and It’s been 2 years already.

So yeah, Karlie Kloss is married. She’s married and pregnant. Move the fuck on.

If you’re sure of your stuff, come to me with something that isn’t a version of this:

If you’re a kaylor trying to get out of the cult, go through this Joshlie timeline to purify your soul.

But if you’re a firm believer that Karlie is pregnant with Austin Swift’s sperm and she’ll raise the baby with Taylor Swift, there’s no hope for you and you’re disgusting.

That’s it for the October wedding!

[thebestofoneshots]

Christmas Times

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Prompt: In which you and Bucky have to get the Christmas tree for the compound and decorate it afterwards. Set on an AU whee Bucky joins the team before civil war happens.

Notes: Some Christmas fluff because I’m getting festive. Also Sebs new IG post inspired me I couldn’t stop myself.

Warnings: I mean reader does bump into her very mean aunt but she gets put on her place so it’s nothing you can’t handle.

You stood outside the door only a few seconds before knocking on the door.

“Yes?” You heard his husky voice from the inside of the room. So he was sleeping. He had a late mission last night you recalled, it made sense that he would still be sleeping.

You opened the door “hey! Sorry to wake you, But we need to get the Christmas tree for the common room.”

He was lying on the bed, covers on top of him but arms over them, the silver arm shinning with the small rays of sunset that slipped from the window, you could see his muscular frame. His now short hair a little messy on the pillow. “A Christmas tree? Doesn’t Tony have like a bunch of people that decorate and stuff?”

“Yes... he does. But apparently is a tradition that someone from the team buys the tree and decorates it. Said it was our turn.”

He drew a deep breath “Ok, then. I’m coming,” he smiled and stood from the bed. He was only wearing a pair of tight boxers and he turned quickly to grab his jeans so you couldn’t see much more than his muscular back, and obviously his ass, but you blushed anyway. You’d develop a small crush on the Winter Soldier since you joined the team.

“I’ll uh... wait outside,” you said and started going out.

“No, it’s fine I’m ready,” He said turning around. Still shirtless and walking to his closet to put on a shirt quickly. You turned to the side to hide your blush. Is not like you hadn’t seen him shirtless before, he went for a swim every other day. But his environment was different, it felt homier? Perhaps... “You ok?”

“What?” You asked turning your face back to him.

“You seemed... lost in thought.”

“Did I?... I didn’t notice. Shall we go?” You said skillfully changing the subject and started walking outside. “You know? I’m lucky I got paired with you to get the tree,” you spoke, a small smile appeared on his face as you did. He enjoyed spending time with you as well. “Your super soldier strength will come in super handy...”

“Is that the only reason you’re lucky? I was hoping it was because of my magnetic personality,” he joked.

“Oh, curse is not the only reason Buck,” you smiled as you playfully punched his arm.

The two of you got to the parking lot by then and grabbed the truck. You took the driver's seat since you knew the modern New York better than he did.

“Do we need to get ornaments as well?” He asked as you passed a few Christmas stores.

“Tony said he had some saved but we could buy anything we liked, every avenger has added their own special thing to the tree of something like that, that’s what makes it special,” you explained.

“When did you even talk to Tony about this? I thought he was in Europe.”

“Oh, he left a video recording and told FRIDAY to help me with whatever else.”

“There!” He said pointing outside “over there there was a very beautiful one,” he explained. You had to continue for a bit to be able to get to the other side of the road and then a bit more to find a parking spot but after a while, you finally stopped.

“I’ll follow you,” you said as you got out of the car and closed it by pressing the small button on the key. A few minutes later Bucky and you were looking at the many different trees in the garden.

“(Y/N)?” He called as you absently looked at one of the trees.

“Mhm?”

“Wouldn’t it be better if we got a plastic tree? Reuse it every year? To avoid climate change and deforestation?”

“You’ve been watching way to much Discovery channel,” you giggled “but actually, I was wondering the same thing and I googled it, apparently a plastic tree is worse unless you reuse it for more than 5 years, and it’s wasteful either way because I’ll end up on a landfill. But Tony promised he’d plant 10 pine trees for every Christmas tree used in the tower so that’s even better!”

“We should buy two then,” he said with a smile.

All right, let’s take a picture, you said as you took out your phone and posted him in front of a Christmas tree. As you were taking the picture you saw someone that made you quickly lower your head and fast walk towards Bucky to use him as a hiding spot.

“What?” He said looking around alert.

“Nothing, just. My aunt is there! I haven’t seen her in a while, and she’s just going to continue nagging me about getting a boyfriend “ you explained “so I’m just gonna, go hide for a while,” you said and quickly walked behind some trees leaving Bucky in that same spot.

As you hid in between a few trees and turned your back pretending to be really distraught by a random tree when someone taped on your shoulder. You frowned and cursed under your breath before turning with a smile.

“(Y/N)!” She smiled pulling you into a hug “I thought it was you back there.

“Aunt Linda! How’s it been?” You asked her smiling.

“Oh just fine, that’s what. I wanted to come here with your cousins but they were too busy to come. So I had to come to get the tree all by myself. What about you? Did you come alone too? I know you don’t have many friends anyway but maybe you convinced someone to help you...” she smiled.

“I... ugh—“

“—doll! I finally find you! I lost you a few trees back, I was about to tell you I found the perfect tree for home.”

“Bucky I...“

“Home?” Your aunt asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Aunt Linda this is—“

“—Her boyfriend,” Bucky answered pulling one of his charming gentleman smiles from the ’40s, “you can call me James,” he stretched his arm “it’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you,” she smiled “such a handsome man! Never thought my niece would get a man like you. You’re out of her ligue.” Yes, that was Aunt Linda, poisonous words and all. And people wondered why you were hiding from her. “And to be honest, I was starting to think she was lesbian. 25 years and you’re the first one.” She finished.

You smiled “And there would be nothing wrong with me being a lesbian, would it?” you frowned. Bucky pulled you closer to him, with his flesh arm on your waist.

“Oh, of course not honey but you know, you’re already the family’s black sheep. You wouldn’t wanna make it even more evident. People would talk.”

“People like you I suppose,” spit Bucky from the side. He seemed to be getting rather angry at her. He clearly hadn’t had the brilliant opportunity to spend a whole Christmas with her and her vicious words or he’d understand she was actually being polite.

“Oh no darling, I would never, but some people on the family can be very creative, in a negative way if you know what I mean. So... how did you two meet?”

“At work.” You answered quickly, wanted to get away from there as soon as possible.

“Oh... at work...” she replied viciously, “well it’s not a surprise since you’re always working.”

“Yes, the minute she walked into the office for the first time she caught my eye. She wore a black suit and was walking alongside our boss looking like an angel. But it wasn’t until we got our first assignment together that I fell completely and utterly in love with her. With her mind and her voice and her everything. She has this way of analyzing situations and finding solutions, it’s incredible.”

You looked back at Bucky and then to your aunt who stood there with her mouth agape. You looked back at Bucky again and thought to yourself ‘damn he was a good actor. Little did you know he hadn’t been acting.

But then a busy woman walked passed really fast, pushing Bucky and casing his glove to fall on the floor. The glove that covered his metal arm.

She pulled his hand towards hers to look at it as you leaned to pick the glove up. Bucky seemed uncomfortable.

“Oh, you don’t have a hand.”

“It’s my whole arm actually,” Bucky corrected. You’d think no one would dare to say something offensive in a situation like this but there was Aunt Linda for you.

“Oh, that explains it.”

“Explains what?” You questioned.

“How such a handsome man would fall I love with you. He’s not complete. He IS on your ligue...”

And that was all it took. “You stop right there! First of all, him lacking an arm does not make him any less of a man or any less attractive. Second, he is one of the sweetest, nicest, bravest humans I know. And third of all, he is a veteran and lost his arm fighting for your country so you should show some respect!”

Your aunt looked at you perplexed. And blinked a bunch of times. “I didn’t mean to... I...”

“Aunt Linda, I didn’t—“

“—I’ll talk to your mother about this.” She said before turning around and leaving.

You and Bucky shared a look and started laughing at her offended frame as she was liked away. At first, you tried to hold it, but once she was far away enough the two of you were almost crying.

“That’s a character.”

“See why I was hiding?” You told him after taking a deep breath. Once the two of you finally cooled down, you noticed that you still had his glove on your hand. You looked at it and a free taking a deep breath you handed it to him. “I’m really sorry about that,” you said as you handed him the glove “but also thanks for stepping in and pretending to be my boyfriend. Although now the whole family is going to ask me about the mysterious James...”

“I’ll be happy to assist as your boyfriend whenever any other family member shows up,” He smiled.

“For what’s worth, I truly meant everything I said earlier. Your metal arm does not take away any of your worth Bucky,” you told him as you rubbed his flesh arm a little. There was nothing else you could do to comfort him, even knowing how delicate the subject was for him, especially it being originally made by hydra. “Anyway... did you really find a tree or were you just making that up?”

“I did!” He smiled. “Come!” He grabbed your hand to pull you through the made of trees towards the one you wanted. Once you got it, between the two of you you manage to load the tree on the truck and after a short drive stopped by a small Christmas market.

You walked along with Bucky through the beautiful Market but separated from each other when you stopped to look at some of the ornaments. You’d found a small shop that would vinyl cut whatever you wanted on a beautiful golden orb. “Hey (Y/N),” you heard as you stared at the machine from that small shop. You turned to find Bucky with a small bag in his hand. “I found the perfect ornament for you,” he said as he opened the bag and pulled a small crystal mermaid from it.

“She’s beautiful,” you said staring at it with awe. “How did you find her?”

“She was on a small store somewhere over there,” he said pointing to the right, trying to stop you from noticing he had maybe spent too much money on her because he couldn’t stop himself after seeing how perfectly fitting it would be.

“Thank you, Buck. I can’t believe you remembered I love mermaids so much...” you smiled. “Either way, I actually found something that would be perfect for you.”

“You did?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes! just you wait,” you winked and walked towards the small shop you’d found and ordered a little special thing. They said it would take around 20 minutes so you went back to Bucky.

“Let’s get an ice-cream,” you said as you pulled Bucky to a small ice-cream shop and ordered a few cones.

“You have plum taste?” You asked as the small lady nodded. “Two balls of plum in one and the other chocolate and blueberry please,” you ordered with a smile.

They gave you your ice creams in just a few seconds. And you walked back to the earlier shop alongside Bucky, the ornament was ready. You paid for it and held it behind your hands to show Bucky with a surprise. “All right close your eyes.”

He did as told. And you placed the ornament on his right hand and gave it a small squeeze to indicate he could open it. He stated at it for a while. The golden ornament had a shield on it. Like Steve’s original shield but with silver and red in the center. The cold slopes through the cracks between his shield, making it look just like his new arm. “You don’t like it...” you said since he hadn’t said anything.

“Like it?” He asked in disbelieve “I love it!”

You finally let out the breath you were holding. The shopping time was finished and the two of you hoped back on the truck to drive back to the compound.

Once there, the two of you brought the tree down and place it in the center of the common room. “FRIDAY? Where are all the decorations for the tree you told me about?”

“The box is behind the counter,” Explained FRIDAY.

“Yes, it is!” Said Bucky while pulling a very big plastic box from behind the counter.

He brought the box next to the tree and the two of you started looking through the box. Finding small ornaments and guessing which one was chosen by who from the team.

The first thing you did was add all of the lights, you choose the colourful ones and started filling the tree with them. After you started placing all the different ornaments. Leaving the two new ones you had purchased for the end, just like FRIDAY had advised you too.

“It looks nice,” you said as you smiled to yourself feeling accomplished. The shiny tree looks as beautiful as ever, the lights bouncing around from one place to another.

“We still have these,” pointed Bucky out taking the ornaments that the two of you got at the market.

“You’re right!” You said as you carefully took the mermaid from his hand and stared at the tree for a place to put it in. After a few seconds, the two of you started moving but neither noticed until your hands collided. The two of you were trying to place the ornament in the same place.

“Are you imitating me?”

“No. It was just the empty branch,” he pointed “the no es empty branch.”

“Well yes, it is the emptiest spot,” you agreed “all right, this is what we’re going to do, I’ll place mine over here,” you pointed at one spot “and yours can be here,” you pointed at another one, right next to yours.

“Deal,” he said as he placed his ornament. You placed your small mermaid later and it appeared as if the mermaid was looking at Bucky’s shield. Just like in the real world, you thought to yourself. Little did you notice Bucky was the one staring at you right then and there.

“We still need to add the star,” you said getting the delicate Swarovski star from the small box, of course, Tony would have a Swarovski star.

“Oh I’m not touching that, I don’t want to break it,” he said stepping out. “Tony doesn’t have much tolerance for me anyway.”

“Don’t be silly, I can’t reach the top anyway. The tree is too tall.”

“I’m not touching it.”

“Bucky!”

“I’m not. But I can carry you,” he shrugged.

“That would be less stable than just placing it in the top,” you reasoned.

“I’ve made my mind.”

“FRIDAY, do we have a ladder?”

“No, but you could use that chair over there.”

Bucky went for the chair and brought it to you. Placing eight on the side of the tree. You tried to step on it “this is so unstable...”

“Don’t worry I’ll watch your back,” he said as he tried to keep the chair shady with his hands.

“This is ridiculous James, you could’ve just placed it without an issue.” You mumbled as you slowly placed the star on the top. But your shoelace caught onto the side of the chair and you tripped and fell.

Luckily for you, Bucky was paying attention and he quickly grabbed you from the waist to stop You from falling face-first on the floor, instead, you fell on top of him since your weight had grown the both of you on the floor.

First thing you did as soon as you gathered everything that was happening is that you removed your weight from his chest by sitting in his stomach with one leg on either side of his torso, “Can you breathe?” You asked placing your hands on his face to look for any signs of trauma.

He smiled when he noticed how concerned you were “yes I Can breathe doll, I’ve been thrown from higher placed bc way bigger men.”

“But it was a hard fall, and my weight. Could have pulled all the sir from your lungs.”

“I didn’t... no need to worry,” he smiled again.

You drew a relieved breath and smiled too. After that, you rolled off him and instead of standing up you laid on the floor next to him as well.

The tree stood majestic and tall in front of the two of you. “We did an amazing job,” you mumbled.

“It’s because we’re an amazing team,” he responded. A smile appeared on your face when you heard those words.

“We should decorate Christmas trees more often,” you giggled. “But next time you’re placing the start!”

“And miss the opportunity of having you on top of me again? No way!” He joked. The two of you laughed again.

“Thank you, Bucky!” You said then as you gave him a quick fast hug, the two of you still lying on the floor.

“What for?”

“You always make my days brighter,” you said, trying to sound casual.

He turned his whole body towards you, his steel-blue eyes staring directly into yours. “I could say the same thing, doll.”

Find more Bucky fluff over here 👈

Feedback is always appreciated ✨

[abybweisse]

I've seen a thread on ig about how Undertaker was probably never Claudia's lover, and I know you kinda ship them or at least are a believer of the UT=Cedric theory, I kinda am too and I tried not to be bias while reading that post but I feel like their points were rlly weak. Here are some points that tried to debunk UTxClaudia: 1. Cedric canonly has a birth and a death date which means he is human (lol).

2.Because UT was already a shinigami when he met Clau, we need to ask ourselves some questions: Why should a shinigami be able to have children? Since the shinigami duty is a punishment for those who commited suicide. Being able to live a nice life, have kids and interfere with human affairs and lives does not respect those facts.

3. Isn't it weird for him to fall in love with someone that was born 24 yrs after he came to the human world?

4. UT expressed strong feelings toward all the other mourning lockets and Vincent especially. Why would Claudia be more important than the rest of them?

Idk but when I read this I went ??? a bit cause I dont think it rlly debunks anything :/.. or maybe I cant see it that way cause I'm a fan of the theory/ship. However I wanted to see the side of a theorist/ an analytical pov, so what do u think?

Thanks for thinking of me! 😊

Only two things boggle my mind, here:

How that person thought their arguments debunked anything in the world, and

How you managed to send such a long ask in one message....

Anyway, I’ve received asks like this before, but it’s usually from people who think more like that thread on ig. You can try searching my blog with some of the tags on this post, like #cedric k. ros—, etc. But let me see if I can pull up something that gets to the heart of this ask....

....Um, it’s really spread out over way too many posts for me to grab that many links. Anyway, a search for “cedric k ros” brought up a ton of posts generally on this topic.

Also, my beliefs have changed somewhat over the years. I wonder how old that ig thread is, since we’ve learned a lot more canon information on Undertaker and the Phantomhive family since I first joined the discussion of Undertaker’s true identity. So, I’ll address each part of your ask here and now.

Cedric has a canon birthdate and death date, so he must be human. Well, it means he must have once been human, but it doesn’t mean he’s a mere human now. Besides, the years of his birth and death are rather conveniently covered up by a speech bubble. The rest of his last name, too. Go check out all my #cedric of rotherwood posts. Cedric might have lived and died centuries ago, might have become a reaper long ago, too.

Shinigami having kids breaks the rules. Reapers being able to have children could actually be part of their punishment... if my theory is correct that reapers are reborn as a form of karmic reincarnation. That would mean reapers are born to biologically female reapers, who definitely do exist; there just don’t appear to be as many of them, which fits suicide statistics. A reaper having children with a human goes against reaper rules, since they are not supposed to meddle in human affairs... just collect souls. Technically, they don’t even judge the souls, they just follow a protocol to verify it’s that person’s time to die. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible; it just does, in fact, mean Undertaker is breaking reaper rules. But he’s obviously doing that anyway. Why not break all of them? 🤨 Edit: There’s a good reason for him to want to have children with human females (not even necessarily just one), for the very reason that it skirts around this punishment of making more reapers with reaper females. Reapers like Undertaker, who might be mating with humans, can cause the reaper organization to become even more understaffed over time. That’s something else I have mentioned before in my theory about them being reborn. There could even be a backlog of souls from suicide victims that are waiting around for new reaper bodies to be placed into. And the way Ronald flirts with females both in the reaper realm and the human realm suggests that Undertaker isn’t the only one who might be spreading around his reaper genes... changing the very nature of humanity over the generations.

It’s weird that Undertaker would fall in love with a human within however many years of deserting his post. Not weird at all, plus we don’t know whether love is the only thing that might have brought them together. Also, 24 years is merely a guess... and not a very good one. 136649 tried to destroy reaper HQ ~70years before 1889, so around 1819. The year these three things historically happened: 1. Queen Victoria was born, 2. Prince Albert was born, and 3. (Sir) Walter Scott introduced the world to Cedric of Rotherwood in Ivanhoe. He even invented that name, Cedric. Undertaker says he hadn’t been called a reaper in about 50years. That suggests two things: 1. He not only failed to destroy the HQ, but he also might have been captured, punished, and returned to his work as a reaper until he finally deserted about 20years later, and 2. If he didn’t actually manage to escape until around 1839 or thereabouts, then Cloudia/Claudia was just a kid at the time. Undertaker might have become involved in the Phantomhive family’s “work” before she became watchdog; he might have been an informant to her father, for example.

Why should he care more about Cloudia/Claudia than the other people on the lockets or Vincent? If he loved her, and if she bore his children, then it would explain this quite easily. Who wouldn’t cry over the death of their child? These other six people represented by the other lockets must also have been particularly dear to him, for various possible reasons. But he seems to focus the most on her locket. It’s also placed directly in the center of the chain; they are not in order of death dates. (In fact, their last initials create a pretty cool set of notes, with Phantomhive becoming an F or an F# [F sharp]. Please see #lockets’ melody and #leitmotif posts that date as far back as 2016). And more recently, her locket (and her locket alone) has become a symbol of Undertaker in series merchandise. Them having been lovers would explain it pretty well, I should think! And, if I’m right that “136649” means he became the 49th registered reaper of 1366, then Cloudia/Claudia died (was killed) not just on a Friday the 13th... but also 500 years after Undertaker was registered as a reaper.

Thanks for this ask, and please check out the tags below for more information.

[gra-sonas]

Hey! I hate to ask this, you already do so much for us! But would you mind just a tiny recap of Vlamis’ live from last night? You don’t have to go into a ton of detail or anything, I just saw that it was a half hour long. I have a weird anxiety thing that keeps me from watching lives and stories for the most. Still haven’t even been able to work myself up to watching the vlamburn one as much as I’d love to! 🙁

Either way, thank you for everything!

Okay, nonnie. I went and watched the whole thing again and wrote you a detailed account of what’s been said. I’ll link the live again, then you can watch here if you want to. Or not. Up to you. 🤗 Hope this helps. 💕

Brushing his teeth and flossing for 3 minutes while talking.

800 new follower lately “where have you been before?”

“Do you do anything to your hair at night?” He adds Moroccan hair oil in the morning, nothing at night.

“What’s your favorite of the drop?” He hasn’t seen everything from the drop (like the COSMIC tie-dye) bc he’s in Santa Fe. He loves the COSMIC and MALEX embroidered things (“so subtle”) bc they are in Vlamburn’s handwriting, he loves the Manesqueeze shirt bc you can make Alex and Michael kiss by putting your wrists together. He *loves* the candle (there’s one burning on his bedside table), the silky PJs are great, but he can’t decide on just one favorite thing.

“How’s Jesa’s sanity?” She needs like 3 weeks of sleep. He explains, that while we *are* the Vlambase, the Vlambase merch company’s just Jesa and Vlamis. Jesa has a team, but all the day-to-day things, ideas, emails/customer service (Jesa), the newsletter (Vlamis). They hadn’t collaborated with anyone before Tyler, so working with him was a new experience. 

One fan mentions how they wanted to buy stuff but couldn’t. Vlamis says that he’s been there, and when he wanted something in the past he couldn’t afford, he started putting away a Dollar a day. 

“Thought on One Direction?” Vlamis is a Harry Styles guy. “Harry Styles’ swagger is next level!”

“What do you think about Russia? Will Vlambase merch be available here?” Talks a bit about how annoying things are with shipping companies, says they wanted to protect themselves for the holidays, and now that the Christmas rush is over, some shipping options have become available again. 

“Who came up with  MANESQUEEZE” He ponders about it, and settles on Jesa. It was Vlamis’s ides to put tiny Alex and tiny Michael on the sleeves so that they can kiss tho. And Tyler came up with the idea to put a “toupee” on his head (in a previous drop, the NEVER LOOK AWAY design had tiny Alex and tiny Michael on the sleeves, but poor Alex was bald) for the design.

Someone got a MALEX pin and the candle. He knows the pin sold out fast, and he feels bad about that. They want everyone to get everything they want, but it’s difficult to make proper calculations how well an item will sell. The pandemic made things even harder. Like the PJ sets. Normally, they would wait until the sale ends and see how many sets were actually ordered, but during the pandemic, stock listings have been changing dramatically from day to day, so they had to pre-order the PJs and robes to make sure they had a certain number at their disposal. He said that they “overshot” on a couple of things, but ultimately sales have been great, and he appreciates that.

“I’m excited to make the MANESQUEEZE doodles kiss bc I do that with the NEVER LOOK AWAY shirt” Vlamis jumps up and shows his closet that’s full of Vlambase merch items.

“Why am I here, it’s almost 3am” He mentions that he’s been staying up until 4 in the past couple of days, but he has to be on set in 7 or 8 hours. 

“Hello, just wanted to let you know that I got a tattoo for you” Vlamis asks for a photo and to be tagged.

“Kyle the packer [Vlamis’s roomie KA, who works in the warehouse when a new drop is ready for shipping]” Vlamis says they’re working him to death.

“Please save this live” He doesn’t know whether he’ll save it. Thinks the one with Tyler was important, but since it’s just him, he doesn’t think it’s important.

“I followed Jesa, Jesa is the real MVP” Vlamis says that Jesa is “a beast, and best in the game”. Quickly explains who Jesa is, and that she’s his partner in the Vlambase merch company. He mentions that she recently called him with an idea for Valentine’s Day, and he was like “Jesa, we need to relax!” But she loved the idea. She’s a big fan of RNM and the characters (and Tyler). “Jesa’s amazing.”

“What about new Soli art [Soli’s the artist who created the Boys Will Be Boys art for a previous drop]?” Vlamis smiles. “What about new Soli art. I like that idea. 😏“

“Your house [in New Mexico] is so cute.” Vlamis says thank you and shows the ceiling of the house (which he likes best). “Santa Fe is dope!”

“I adore your teeth” *shows his teeth* Says he had to wear braces (some even adjustable)

“I could’ve used my birthday money to buy something but I forgot” 🤨 << Vlamis’s face. “How you you forget, man?”

“Back to Twitter after this live” He mentions that he’d just been on Twitter before the live.

He got retweeted by Mountain Dew and loves it.

“I’m from Australia and hope my merch arrives before winter” Vlamis says he hopes shipping will be fast. 

“Love the Valentines” They’re not actually Valentines, hence they’re “Love Notes”.  Vlamis considers doing them not just around Valentine’s Day. 

“You catch any of the CW shows returning this month?” “Might have to” But he knows what he’ll be catching on the 12th. “Prodigal Son, baby!”

“Where did you get the Game Boys?” Those are his Game Boys. He has a Game Boy Advanced and a Game Boy Color. 

“How do you feel about Forlex?” *scoffs* 😒 “Yeah” 

“So excited for the robe!” Vlamis gets excited. “The robes and the PJs are so comfy!” Talks about how it’s a bit weird, bc they don’t make them themselves.

Several people mention that their closet looks like his closet bc of all the merch and he loves that. 

“How do you feel about Forlex” *gets agitated* “Why are you asking me this? Don’t do that to me, alright?” *softer* “Don’t do that.”

“How are you doing?” He’s doing very well. Very relieved that eh sale went well. This drop was like 3-4 months of work, the night before the sale felt like an entire month, too. Jesa and Vlamis Facetimed for more than 5hrs. They set up the website, and that’s how the glitch with the GIVE ME MALEX OR GIVE ME DEATH shirts and poster happened. They made a mistake and only noticed after the website went live. 

“Do you know when S3 will air?” No, he thought it might’ve been sooner, but apparently not.

“I love your poetry from the last drop so why no poems this time?” He writes poems when he’s inspired, he hasn’t written a poem in a while. He’s currently preparing to direct his first movie in June 2021, and he’s been very focused on that. 

“The Meet & Greet day changed.”  Filming schedule changed bc they had snow, the schedule’s changing constantly. He’ll be set all day tomorrow (well, today, Jan 11) from 8am until 8 or 9pm. Sometimes they might even wake up in the morning and learn that the schedule’s been changed. 

 “You could talk about nothing and we’d still watch.” He doesn’t want to talk about nothing, wonders if anyone has any questions about the sale.

“I’m so excited about the robe. I was going to buy more but I’m broke.” He says we should be responsible.

Someone’s still waiting about their Black Friday stuff, but he says it’s the shipping company, not them. 

“Vlamentines" He *loves* that, thinks it’s a good pun. 

“Gotta support Aurora.” Always. 🥰

“Jealous Guerin in S3?” You’ll see, you’ll see.

“I placed 3 orders, last one last night. Give me Malex or give me death.” He loves it. He also mentions, that they’re working hard on figuring out how to combine orders in the future so people don’t have to pay for shipping several times. They just can’t do that logistically at the moment. 

“Real talk, how often do you check your DMs?” He says, that some people might’ve noticed that he occasionally likes random photos on people’s IG pages. When that happens, it’s a sign that he read someone’s DM. He feels bad when he checks his mentions with a delay, and people’s stories have already vanished after 24hours. He sometimes doesn’t get to checking DMs for a week.

“Will we ever get the original pic of the kiss recreation?” *smiles* *waggles his eyebrows* “Maybe in the morning”

“So happy the Trevor Project was chosen for this merch drop!” He’s very happy, too. According to him, it was a no-brainer. Tyler’s worked with them in the past, so it made even more sense. They wanted to make sure that Tyler felt very strongly about wherever they’d be donating. 

People urge him to go to sleep. “You want me to go to bed?” 

“Why is your merch not available in India?” *deep breath* “It should be, it’s ridiculous. Unbelievable.”

“Your poetry was awesome.” He appreciates the praise and promises to write some more poetry. 

Someone asks whether the movie he’ll be directing in June will be a comedy, but he says it’s the opposite. He’s mentioned in the past that Aurora and him will both act in the movie, but apparently he forgot about that. He doesn’t want to jinx the movie and doesn’t know how much he should reveal just yet. Talks a bit about 5 Years Apart. 

Someone mentions that it’s Jeanine’s birthday on January 14th. 

“Do (or don?) a face mask, Vlamis.” He refuses. Mentions his friend and roommate Spencer Waldner, who makes face masks.

“If there’s leftover merch, will you do another sale?” He says that most things are actually sold out bc they use Blank Clo’s blanks and will only make what’s been ordered.  They might try to restock some pins tho, bc they went so quickly. 

“USPS are a joke” He defends them. “They’re a public service, they’re trying hard, guys.”

“You should do a Vlambase drop with the Real Vlamis [a.k.a. Jeanie]” He’s excited and thinks it’s a good idea and asks if anyone’d be interested. 

Someone congratulates him on directing his first movie. He points out that he’s directed before (Making It, a 3-part web series, it’s on YouTube).

 “Would you ever come to Australia Comic Con?” He’d love to. Mentions that he’s supposed to be in Paris in May for a convention, but he’s not sure whether that’s gonna happen considering how things are currently going with the pandemic. 

Some more talk about 5 Years Apart.

Circles back to doing a merch drop with Jeanine. People like the idea. 

“Please save this live.” After an IG update, things have changed and he doesn’t know how to do it. In the past he had the option to save it [for 24hrs], now he can only upload it to IGTV. 

“$30 shipping to Australia hurts my soul but I did it anyway.” He appreciates that and mentions, that he lived in Australia for 6 months in the past.

“Sing some Bright Eyes” He thinks his singing would hurt people’s ears. 

Jesa Joy pops up in the chat and urges him to go to bed. 

“Jesa is yelling at you.” Vlamis says that Jesa’s a “yeller”, and that she has a tattoo that says “Don’t yell tho”. He admits that Jesa often yells for a good reason. “I need to be yelled at sometimes.”

Someone asks him to accept a request to join his live. He says he’s pretty tired. 

He says hello to someone from Germany (not me btw :P) “What’s up, Germany ✌️” 

More people ask him to sing, but he says he cannot sing. He says it’s not like a joke  or him being modest, he straight up can’t sing and is a horrible singer. 

“Will there be a sequel to 5 Years Apart?” Maybe a sequel called “10 Years Apart” (he’s joking and visibly tired)

“Should I buy anything before the sale ends?” Yes.

Jesa Joy’s from Michigan, and Vlamis’s grandma’s from Middlesborough, Kentucky.

“Is Tyler singing again?” He doesn’t know. “I hope so. Love that kid’s voice” (Tyler’s 3.5 years older than Vlamis :P)

He’s getting sleepy and will read a little bit before bed. Considers drinking some Mountain Dew. 

“Do you take design ideas.” Sure. Sometimes he sees design ideas from people they’ve been working on for months, but he’s gonna “steal” an idea from someone, he’ll tell them. He’ll steal it, though. 

“Are you still reading SAGA?” He read the first one and is half-way through the second. He’s currently reading a book called “My First Movie” by Stephen Lowenstein. “How cliché.” Aurora got it for him.

Purple Skittles are his favorite. Purple everything.

“Your girlfriend’s the best girlfriend.” She is, she really is.

Asks Jesa Joy whether he should go to bed now.Even though it’s late, he’s hungry. Considers eating something. People tell him to go to bed.

He asks “Should I get naked and put on the PJs?” *waggles eyebrows* “I’M KIDDING, YOU’RE SICK. YOU’RE ALL DISGUSTING.” xD

“Don’t eat!” He laughs.

Says goodbye and says that Jesa’s posted a surprise picture. 

“Any advice for aspiring actors?” Tells them to make their own stuff bc no one’s gonna hire them. (He’s being sarcastic). “It’s dark, but it’s what you need to hear.”

“Okay, love you guys. Thank you again! It was our best sale yet. Means a lot to me. Means a lot to Tyler. Us doing so well might mean that Tyler will work with us again. So I really appreciate it. Okay, I love you all.”

Jesa promises to post the pic in 4 minutes. He’s excited. “See, I got her to do it! The picture is kind of ridiculous.”

*pretends to take off his shirt, stops halfway through* “Noooooo, noooooo, noooooo!”

*throws kiss* “Love you guys, good night.”

[destinyc1020]

T posted N and broke up 6 days later, I don’t think him mentioning Z in a magazine where the interview may have happened in December doesn’t really say anything.

Ummmm.... did you MISS the fact that Tom JUST commented on Darnell's live this morning? 😅😂🤣

Y'all I swear lol....

Every single time you all try to push the narrative that Tom and Z are "on the outs" or hate each other, something ELSE comes out that disproves that claim lol! It's almost becoming comical at this point. 😅

Antis: "Tom and Z are on the outs"

🔹️ Tom: "We're just having a blast on set! Zendaya, Jacob and I all make jokes on set all the time"

Antis: "Tom and Z are on the outs"

🔹️Zendaya: "The sky is literally the limit for him"

🔹️Sam Levinson follows Tom on IG

Antis: "Tom and Z must have already broken up and realized it's not going to work"

🔹️Tom: "We have movie nights every Friday night with the cast, and we all watch a movie we've never seen before. Zendaya's recommendation is "The Handmaiden" for this week"

Antis: "Tom and Z must hate each other"

🔹️"Seeing Zendaya in M&M was such a special moment for me... she's amazing... great movie..."

Antis: "Tom and Z must not be getting along in Atlanta"

🔹️Tom talking about the "bestie" again..... "Zendaya has been so valuable to the happiness in my career and my LIFE..."

Antis: "Omg Whitney is in Atlanta and just started following JDW! Tom and Z are definitely done and are just friends"

🔹️Tom comments on Darnell's live the very next day lol 😆 😂 🤣

Lol....

[binkysteebnpewter]

All the numbers, all of em.

Fine. Here’s all fifty, my child.. (excluding 4 & 11 since I already answered those two)

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

Lesbian

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

Marvel and YouTube I suppose 🤷🏻‍♀️

3. Ever done any drugs?

Nope

5. How many people have you kissed?

Excluding me dad and brother? Two, two very toxic people 😔

6. Describe your dream home.

A cabin in the woods, private and preferably somewhere that’s not too hot and gets snow. That’s it. I’m not a hot weather person.

7. Who are you jealous of?

I don’t really think I’m jealous of anyone, I’ve never really been one to get truly jealous of someone. I’m pretty appreciative for what I have in life.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

NCIS and Criminal Minds.

9. Do you watch porn?

No. The concept of watching two absolute strangers screw one another isn’t appealing to me.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

Nope, I don’t see the point in it ig. That and I’d forget about it as well.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

Fantasies?? Erotically? I don’t know. Normally? It’s more of a wish, but I want to find home.

Weirdly? I wish I could live a day in one of the games I play 😂

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Yep! One of the piercings I’m getting eventually will be nipple piercings.

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

I wouldn’t spend a million. I’d save and invest a lot of it, cliche I know but...? I’ve grown up in a family who lived paycheck to paycheck for the longest time, I don’t like the fear of not knowing if I’ll make it by this week or this month.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Yes 🥺💗 I’m with my gorgeous princess @andyl394

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

Most everyone I follow are writers or friends I’ve made, so unless someone’s converted to be a porn blog suddenly then no.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

Yes.

18. What tattoos do you want?

I want a few.

I want one dedicated to a mental health movement I’ve followed for awhile now that’s helped me with my mental health, I want one in dedication to my maternal nanny who passed away 2007, and one dedicated to my best friend who was killed in 9th grade.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I don’t think I would, honestly. 🤷🏻‍♀️

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

Other than the ones mentioned in #2: forensics, criminal justice, marine life (sharks especially), books, music (production and in general), and history.

21. Describe your best friend.

My best friend (currently, not my late best friend) is my emotional support dog. He’s a border collie jack russel mix, he loves to run and give hugs. He loves receiving kisses and insists to walk me around the house and the farm, because he’s super protective and sweet. He’s white with a few spots of brindle, a perfect teardrop shaped patch of brindle in the middle of his forehead is where he loves to receive kisses the most.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

@andyl394

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Knocked Loose

The Oh Hellos

Black Tiger Sex Machine

Girl in Red

AC/DC

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Japan, Alaska, Italy

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

In private, maybe at home by myself or with someone I love. I’m not picky as long as it’s not really social, like public places. I have too much anxiety for that to be comfortable.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Winter

27. What’s your pet peeve?

Lying.

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

My brother, I think. He’s walking karma and it’s funny to me.

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

I’m not sure tbh, I don’t watch a lot of movies

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

@asadmarveltrashbag

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

I like both, but there’s a certain appeal to the smell of old books that’s always called me down— I spent a lot of time in libraries growing up.

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Ooh, this is tough. Either Marvel or Assassin’s Creed (odyssey specifically)

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

Very dark and soft textured. I love dark colors, black and dark green and blue especially.

34. What’s your coffee order?

If I actually go somewhere? Iced caramel macchiato or Blonde Caffe Americano.

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Other than my girlfriend @andyl394 , no.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

Hell no, I have trauma from them— that’s it 👏🏻

37. Have any tattoos?

Sadly not yet

38. Do you drink?

Even though I’m 19, yes. I never get drunk though, I don’t see the point. I’ve grown up in the south, where it’s decently normal for a parent to let their kids try alcohol but never much. My dad is a single parent and said when I was 17, if I wanted to drink I could but there was two rules: 1) has to be at home or a TRUSTED friends house and I can’t go anywhere once I’ve drank something 2) no getting drunk until I’m of age

39. Are you a virgin?

This a little sensitive, but no— I didn’t lose it with consent.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

My girlfriend 🥺💗👏🏻

41. How many followers do you have?

There’s 187 people following my trash pile 🥺💗

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

🥺😩💗 it’s @andyl394 always her, she real gorgeous 🥺 (don’t mind me, she’s always right here 💗 in ma heart)

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Turning on Do Not Disturb sometimes so I don’t have to talk to people.

44. Do you read erotica?

If you count fanfiction smut (I say if because I seen a giant debate about if fanfic smut counted as erotica 🤷🏻‍♀️)

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

I was forced to go on a date with a guy by my mother (😒) and he took me hunting. I don’t hate hunting, I grew up doing it. But this little boy got so mad when I tripped off on my own because he couldn’t hunt to save his life and at the end of the day I had pulled out a buck and two rabbits while he came out empty handed.

46. How many people do you follow?

182 amazing people

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Elizabeth Olsen.

48. Describe your ideal partner.

I always find these questions so rude and appearance centered. I just want my partner to be communicative and respectful, that’s all I ask.

49. Who do you text the most?

My brother, @andyl394 , @fuzzy-cloud-head-queen , @nightunite , @breadgenie892

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Wintery and Stormy weather, heavy rain/thunderstorms and snow.

[rogerstoast]

Garage Band//Roger Taylor x Fem Reader

warnings: fluff ig, really simple and cute

AN: I wrote this a long ass time ago and never revised it so apologies in advance for errors.

You were in your second year at Imperial College, and struggling to get through your second set of finals this year. Only three more exams to get through and you could finally say hello to summer.

The fact that you have been sitting at your desk studying for the last six hours, didn't help with stress either. No matter how much you studied, you just couldn't seem to grasp any bit of information from the papers in front of you.

Figuring it was going on six, and you have been sitting in an old wooden chair since noon, a well deserved break was needed. Capping your pen, you got up, stretched, grabbed your jacket and headed out of your dorm for a walk.

As you were walking down the streets of London, subtle music began to play in the distance. It wasn't half bad either. Quite decent actually. The music grew louder and you noticed a few, small groups of people, mostly girls, were gathered on the driveway of the house.

You looked both ways before crossing the street to see what was going on. Once you reached the house, it was hard to get about considering so many students were crowding the lot. Squeezing through and shoving past all the bodies was a struggle, but you managed to get to the front and into the garage.

Just as expected, it was a band. Now that you're here, you remembered your friend telling you about them a few days ago. But you weren't expecting them to be this good. The group was made up of three uni students. A tall one with wavy dark hair playing the guitar, and another dark haired guy, a little shorter, playing the bass. They both were singing. Along with the fella who caught your eye instantly. He had blond, wavy hair and played the drums wonderfully. Never missing a beat, and harmonized with the group beautifully.

About two songs in, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

"(Y/n)! What are you doing here?" It was your friend Lorali, the one who told you about  the band.

"Needed to get some fresh air after sitting at that desk for so long. Thought I'd see what was so special about this band you were telling me about" I told her.

"Well I'm glad you came! Wanna go get a drink with me? Bars inside."

Accepting the fact that it was a Friday night and you studied enough for the day, you gave into her offer.

"Sure thing!" Following Lorali to the door located behind the band, you figured you would steal another glance at the drummer, as you were about to past him. However, he seemed to have caught your glance just as they were finishing their song. You immediately looked away, and followed your friend through the door, as you felt a slight blush rise to your cheeks.

"What are you blushing about," she asked you, noticing your obvious flushed complexion.

"Wh-what? Nothing. Just need a drink that's all."

"Oh please (y/n), what kinda twat do you think I am. Do you really think I didn't see you making heart eyes at the drummer a second ago?"

Damn it Lorali.

She could always see right through you.

"Oh shut up! Doesn't matter, it's obvious he's the womanizer of the group, what should it matter to me?" But before she could deny anything, I poured myself a shot of whisky and downed it as fast as I could. Feeling a wave of relief already, I gave her a look as if to say alright, go on.

"The night is still young, (y/n). Let's go back out there, they're almost done!

Following her back out to the garage, you noticed it had got darker outside, and string lights lit up the garage as students gathered around a fire pit on the driveway, smoking and dancing along to the music.

Lorali led you to the couch up front, and you took a seat right next to her, each with a beer in hand. Facing the band, they sang and rocked their hearts out to their closing song. You happened to really like it. Wether it was the subtle head bops, or the perfect rhythm he managed to keep, you couldn't keep your eyes off of the drummer. He played perfectly. The song then came to a faster, more rock n roll bit and the guitarist played a rif while blondie hit the drums harder and faster than before.

This time when he caught you staring at him, you didn't look away immediately right after. Same goes for him, giving you a wink and a cheeky smile. Doubting the possibility he could be looking at you, you turned your head around to see if the group of girls from earlier was behind you or something. Only to find them outside, and groups of guys behind you instead. When you turned around, he seemed to notice your disbelief, and subtly laughed to himself. You blushed and looked down, feeling slightly embarrassed that you thought he wasn't gesturing towards you.

Drinking from your cup, they finished the song and ended it with harmonizing their voices and it sounded like the most spectacular thing you have ever heard before.

doooiinnn allllllrrrrrriiiggghhhhhtttt

The guitarist then spoke into the mic, "Thanks for coming out everybody, we really appreciate it!"

You sighed to yourself, that the live music was over for the night. But just as a record started playing from the corner of the room, you stood up for your spot on the couch, next to your friend. In need for a quick smoke, you informed her you were going to stand outside for a bit and warm up by the fire.

Noticing people have either left or gone to get their second round of drinks, you stood next to the fire pit, struggling to warm up. Pulling a pack and a lighter from your coat pocket, you were slightly disappointed to see that you were all out.

"Having a bit of trouble over there?" You heard a deep voice ask you from behind, causing you to turn around.

Crap. It's him. "Oh I uh, I uh, I'm all out, that's all," you awkwardly chuckle and look down.

"No worries," the drummer then pulls out a pack and offers you a cigarette.

You take it as your fingers lightly brush over his. "Thanks," you say, with a small smile.

You both light your cigarettes and you allow yourself to really let it sink in before taking a long breath out.

"I'm a, I'm Roger by the way," the drummer offered is hand out for you to shake

"(Y/n)," you reply, shaking his hand in return. 

"Wow, that's a nice name. How come I've never seen you around here before?" he asked.

You blush a little and turn to meet his eyes. Wow, you thought. It was the first time you saw his big blue eyes. Just as you were about to get lost in them, you remembered he asked you a question.

"Oh, I uh, I came with my friend. You guys were amazing by the way, should've come around sooner."

He chuckled and took a small step closer to me, "Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I feel like I've seen you around." his mention came off more as a question.

"Yeah, im a uni student. Second year actually, majoring in fashion design. What about you?" I asked him, bringing my cigarette back up to my lips.

"Dental student. Doesn't seem to be working out well. Hoping this band thing works out," he said, looking back at me.

"Ah I wouldn't worry about it, you guys were amazing," I reassured him with a smile, hoping I wasn't coming off too obsessive with all the compliments I was giving him.

But Roger loved how you would blush and gawk over the band. Although you never noticed him until this night, he has noticed you since the beginning of his second year at uni. He sat at the very back in a class you two shared with each other, but you never seemed to noticed he existed until today. Roger on the other hand, was the total opposite. He noticed you the first day, and couldn't get over how beautiful you were. The way you concentrated so hard in class to make sure you took all the right notes, and the way your tongue would poke out of your mouth when you were focused. Roger admired all of it. Everything about you. But, he never had the courage to talk to until tonight. It was almost as if he had been intimidated by your perfection, and it made him nervous, which is not in his nature. Being known as the womanizer and all. 

"If I don't know any better, I'd say you have a little crush on the band," he brought up, trying to mess with you.

"Oh shut up!" you joked back, nudging his shoulder with yours, both of you lightly chuckling. It was only then when you realized how close you too actually were. Standing there, shoulder to shoulder.

You then realized your beer was empty when you went for another sip. Figuring you walked here, maybe it would be best to start heading back

"Well, i uh, I should get going I guess."

"Wait"

But just as you were about to walk away, Roger grabbed your hand to turn you around. Very quickly actually, resulting in your noses almost bumping each other as your faces grew closer all of a sudden. Neither of you said anything for a second, but just looked at each other. Both sets of eyes quickly looking down at each other's lips, then back at each other's eyes. Yet the awkward tension took over, making the moment suddenly uncomfortable.

"Let me get you another drink at least?" He offered.

You easily obliged with a simple, "okay," and a small smile.

He took your hand and led you through the garage past the bunch of people who were still there, and into the house to the kitchen.

While Roger went to the fridge to grab two beers, you hopped up and sat on the corner.

"So Rog, is this your house?" You asked curiously. 

He walked over to stand in front you, and handed you the can.

"Yeah, I've been rooming with Brian for a couple of months now."

You don't know why, but you felt so at ease around him. A sudden wave of confidence washed over you, causing the next question to come out of your mouth without a care in the world.

"I assume that means you have your own room then?"

Roger knew what you were intending with that question. He raised an eyebrow with a smirk on his face as he walked closer to you, standing in between your legs.

"I suppose it does," he replied, your faces merely a few inches away from each other.

Roger placed a hand on your thigh, taking you  a bit by surprise. But you allowed it, and you couldn't help but feel more at ease because of it. The moment, it felt so right. But why? You barely knew him. You feel like you did, but you didn't.

"Hey (y/n)" Roger whispered, as our faces grew closer

"Yeah"

"I know you barely know me, but I need to be honest. Ever since I saw you the first day of uni, I thought you were absolutely stunning. I always sit at the back of class, and I can help but admire your perfection. It kills me, everyday when I see you."

This took you by surprise even more. That's why Roger looked familiar to you. But what he just confessed to you made your heart skip a beat, and cause butterflies to literally explode in your stomach. You were blushing uncontrollably and had a huge smile plastered on your face. Why? You didn't know. Even though you barely knew each other, everything felt as if it was meant to be happening.

"Roger, I-"

But before you could say anything, he leaned in and crashed his lips into yours. It was fast, but sweet and loving at first. You flung your arms around his neck, running your hand through his hair. He brought his other hand up to your cheek as the kiss became more heated. Both of you craved each other, need each other. Roger has been the missing thing in your life all along.

Roger then took his hands, slid them under your thighs, signaling for you to jump on him. Which you did, wrapping your legs around his torso as his hands made their way under your ass to hold you up. He then started kissing you down your neck, leaving love bites all over. The feeling completely melting your insides, you grabbed his face with both hands and connected your lips together yet again.

Before you knew it, Roger had already carried you upstairs. Your lips not letting go for even a single breath of air, the two of you pushed the door open, only for him to slam it shut with his foot, ready for night of his life.

——————————————————

[p-redux]

Since so many people have asked for it already, is there any way you can post the Sam girlfriends timeline on your blog? Or would that bring trouble from ES lurking here? Thanks.

Hi Anon, I have gotten a bunch of requests for this in Asks, Comments, and DM's, I'm too tired to do a full retrospective with exact dates, picture and video proof, etc (it's all out there), BUT I will do a sort of summarized general timeline. As for trouble from ES lurking...that's never stopped me. Hahahaha.

Amy Shiels: Sam and Amy starred in the movie "Young Alexander" in 2003. The movie didn't get released for like 10 years. They seem to have been FWB (Friends With Benefits) on and off 2003 until 2014. For more info, search hashtag #AmyShiels and #TheBarbieWars #BarbieWars #Samy. Confirmed dated, but most likely FWB. More on Amy down below.

Abbie Salt: First met around 2011, when Sam filmed "A Princess for Christmas" with Abbie's sister, actress, Charlotte Salt. They dated briefly then.  For more info, search hashtag #AbbieSalt #Sabbie. Confirmed dated. More on Abbie down below.

Katie Rebekah Osborne: Dated before 2012, broke up when Sam left London to tour with Batman Live and Katie moved from London to Australia. For more info, search hashtag #KatieRebekah #KatieR. Confirmed Dated.

Amy Shiels: After being on and off for years, Amy went with Sam to the premiere of Outlander in New York in July 2014. Then when Sam went to L.A. where Amy lives in Sept. 2014, after Outlander Season 1 filming ended. Amy and Sam were photographed out on dates... until Sam met another petite blonde, Cody Kennedy in Oct. 2014. For more info, search hashtag #AmyShiels and #TheBarbieWars #BarbieWars #Samy. Confirmed Dated.

Cody Kennedy: October 2014 to sometime in January 2015. For more info, search hashtag #CodyKennedy #TheBarbieWars #BarbieWars #Sody. Confirmed dated.

Abbie Salt: When Sam went back to the UK for the holidays Dec. 2014,Jan. 2015, he met up with Abbie again and they rekindled their romance. Cody went bye-bye and Abbie and Sam dated from around February 2015 to November 2015. For more info, search hashtag #AbbieSalt #Sabbie. Confirmed dated.

Mackenzie Mauzy: Sam's longest committed relationship was with actress/singer, Mackenzie Mauzy. They dated from around March 2016 (first seen together by my eyewitness source holding hands at the Guns N Roses concert in L.A. April 1, 2016) to some time in 2018. For more info, search hashtag #MackenzieMauzy #Samzie. Confirmed dated.

After Mackenzie, Sam seems to have dated a variety of different women and does not seem to have been involved in another exclusive relationship.

So for 2018 to the present, 2021, here are the women Sam has been seen with (not in chronological order, since I can't remember exact dates and I'm not going to go searching). I'll post the women's name and the hashtag to search under for more info:

Pretty Blonde with Sam at Nobu London opening #NobuMysteryBlonde #NobuMysteryWoman Unconfirmed whether that was his plus one date for the event or a PR person. Has never been identified by name as far as I know. Fandom CSI fail. Unconfirmed dated.

Hayley Helene #tunagate girl #HayleyHelene. Not confirmed they dated, but she was on the boat with him during #tunagate so people assumed. Unconfirmed dated.

Danielle Kling #DanielleKling, woman he met in Hawaii. Also most likely the woman with the braids spotted with Sam in Scotland later on. Fan posted a pic. Confirmed dated.

Christina Ochoa: #ChristinaOchoa #Samtina, picture of them holding hands...at an airport, I think. Confirmed dated.

Georgia Ellenwood: #GeorgiaEllenwood #Samgia Spent time together in Chicago, he also went to one of her meets in NY, she posted IG story with Sam. Pretty much confirmed dated.

Hannah James: #HannahJames #Samnah #Jamieva #PlotTwist.  Recently received source confirmation that Sam and Hannah did indeed date, I think sometime 2018 or 2019.  MORE on Hannah down below.

Gia Marie: #GiaMarie #MissGia #G #Gia #MissGiaMarie #GiaSam #Hawaiigate Pic of them with their arms around each other walking on Malibu Pier, both posted from weekend getaway to Del Mar or Big Sur, can’t remember which one it was, I think it was Del Mar. Anyhoo, they went away together for a weekend getaway at a beach town in CA before they spent weeks in Hawaii together. Both posted from quarantine in Hawaii. Confirmed dated.

Anna Longford: #AnnaLongford #A #AH Mutually followed on Instagram. She lives near London, but posted from Scotland a lot, when Sam was there. He also was in London when she was there. Speculation simply because same place, same time, they mutually follow, and she’s the type he usually goes for--pretty, sporty, blonde. Complete speculation and unconfirmed dated.

Hannah James: #HannahJames #Samnah #Jamieva #PlotTwist. Both Sam and Hannah have been in Los Angeles, specifically Malibu recently. I have source confirmation that Sam was in L.A. still as of Friday. Not sure if he’s still here or not. But as of Friday, Sept. 3, 2021, he was. Received 100% CONFIRMATION from a trusted person that Sam and Hannah did indeed date sometime starting in 2018-2019. We had all suspected but it had never been confirmed, now it is. Seems like they may still see each other when they can. That part is unconfirmed. But they for sure dated in the past. Pic of them looking cozy together. Comments from mutual friends that would not know Hannah if not for Sam. The only connection is Sam. Confirmed dated.

So, that’s all folks...unless I forgot someone. Sam has had some exclusive, committed relationships and has also dated casually...sounds like a NORMAL MAN to me. 

PS. Anyone come at me with any negative comments about Sam and I will blast you. Sam is 41, gorgeous, rich, famous, and a nice guy, given all that, he could have dated 100 times the amount of women by now. By Hollywood standards, he’s, dare I say it? A monk, hahahaha. Like I’ve said before, he should date more, expand his horizons...try a cougar perhaps. Ahem. ;-)

[stephiebutton]

So on Thursday before Coachella, my friend (who bows at the Altar of Ariana) sent me Ari’s posts on IG — one of the *NSYNC pay per view concert in which baby Ari was in the audience; and the new video of her lip syncing to Tearin’ Up My Heart. I thought maybe he was trying to convert me to an Arianator, but I honestly didn’t think much of it, nor did he, so I was just like ok, that’s cute!

On Friday, I had several people text me over a two hour timeframe when the rumors started spreading that *NSYNC may be playing Coachella—all while I was at work and couldn’t really wrap my head around it or even take the time to research it myself. At first I was like REALLY? Then I was like REALLY! By Friday evening, I knew something was going to go down, I just didn’t know what. I had convinced myself that they were going to perform, and that I had to be there, and I even researched flights and tickets; but then, I convinced myself that they were only going to introduce her, and I didn’t need to go. I was scheduled to close at work Sunday night, so I basically threw my hands in the air and was like “Oh well, I can’t go.”

Saturday rolled around, and I had a nagging feeling that I needed to try harder to make it happen, because whatever was going down was something that I needed to see. I knew that if I didn’t try everything I could, I would regret it. I had to close at work Saturday night, which means I had to be there around 3pm and work until 11:30pm. The gal that was scheduled to open on Sunday was still there when I arrived, so as she was getting ready to leave, I said “I need a favor...” and for some reason, I hesitated in asking her, like I didn’t really know what to say or how to say it, like the answer could actually change my life, so I just looked at her with a weird sideways smile, then finally asked if she could switch with me, so I come back and open Sunday morning instead of closing. She said she had to check with her family and see if they had plans, and she would get back to me. Thirty minutes after she left, she texted and said it was all good, that we could switch! From that point on, everything just snowballed. I had the biggest obstacle out of my way, so now to make the rest happen...

I went back and fourth about a ticket to the event. At first, I was like, “I’ll figure it out when I get down there,” like I usually do for most concerts I attend. I checked Stub Hub first, and was willing to pay whatever I needed to, but the only problem with that was because Coachella uses wristbands, not tickets, all bands had to be picked up in person. I called them to see what the latest pick up time was, and if anyone could pick up for me, and all other options I could think to exhaust, but it ended up not working out since I wasn’t going to get down there until much later. At that point, I was like “YOLO, I’ll find someone selling one outside!” But then I realized how late I was going to get there, and was like, “dude, if I don’t have a ticket by time I get there, no one is going to be hawking them; so I’m screwed!”

Then finally, I turned to the one place that scares me the most, Craigslist! I went through the posts, most were wristbands for Weekend 2, but I found one for Weekend 1, advertised for the cheapest I had seen any advertised, anywhere! I replied via text immediately, really not thinking I’d get a reply since the event was well underway and the wristband had probably already been sold. To my surprise, within minutes, the postee replied. I asked if it was still available, and he (I didn’t know if it was a he, she or other at the time) replied that yes, it was, but someone was supposed to pick it up later. But he also said that so many people had flaked already, that he wasn’t counting on it. After confirming it was a Weekend 1 wristband, I told him that I wanted it, 100%, guaranteed! The only problem was that he had advertised it from San Francisco and I was across the Bay, and I wouldn’t be able to pick it up until after midnight. He then replied that he was actually in Oakland, which happened to be the city right next to me! I couldn’t believe it! Aaaaand, it was only $200, which happened to be the EXACT amount of money I had in my wallet, and usually I don’t carry any cash at all! I let the mid shift manager know that I had to step out to make a miracle happen!

I’m not going to lie, I was like, “what if it’s a serial killer?!” “What if it’s a ploy to rob me?!” “Am I going to die?!” So I shared the address with the other manager in case the cops needed to know where to find my body. Two associates hugged me in case they never saw me again, and I was on my way. I texted the other manager when I got to the pick up spot, but I didn’t see her reply immediately, so I didn’t reply right away. She was worried that the “Craigslist murderer” kidnapped me and had been the one to text her that I was there safely, even though he had probably already cut me into pieces, just to throw off suspicion. 😂😂 😂 (we may or may not have seen too many SVUs or CSIs). All in all, it took less than 10 minutes to get there, less than 5 minutes for the exchange, and less than 10 minutes back. The course of my life changed in less than a lunch break! Now the second hurdle had been cleared.

I texted a few friends a picture of the Coachella box and they were all in semi-disbelief/not really surprised/kinda amazed/planning my *NSYNC junkie intervention. But they knew, if anyone was going on this adventure, it was me!

I had posted on Facebook trying to get someone to ride down to So Cal with me, so that I wasn’t traveling alone (I would have anyways, but company is always appreciated on long journeys). I was trying to talk my friends and fellow fans into winging it and coming along, but no bites. Finally, at about 9pm, one of my cousins replied and said she, her husband, and their baby girl were considering going down to Disney to join some of their family, and if I was still looking for some road dogs, they were in.

Schedule, check; wristband, check; road dogs, check. Everything was coming together.

I was home from work at 11:30pm, picked a few outfits, packed, showered, and was in bed by 2am. I met with my mom at 6:30am to exchange cars since hers was a little bit more current with the maintenance, and then I was back at work at 7am to get the building open and operating. The morning is still a blur. My fellow manager arrived at 11am, and I was out the doors by 11:30. I met my cousin and family at noon, and we were on our way. We got an hour into the drive and then the gas light came on. I was so excited that I had freaking forgot to get gas before we left! Like it never even crossed my mind. I had one mission, and I forgot all the steps I still needed to take to get there 😂. Luckily we were still close to civilization, so filling up happened, then we proceeded on the adventure of a lifetime. I think we only stopped a couple times for gas and a baby break on that six hour journey to our first stop. Let me tell you, my baby cousin is a true hero! That 5 month old was so well behaved, didn’t need a whole lot, and was just a little trooper. My cousin-in-law did a lot of the driving on the way down and I am so grateful for that, because it had already been a long day leading up to the trip, and it was going to be an even longer night...

We arrived in Anaheim around 6:15pm. They got checked in their room, my cousin-in-law took the car to fill up, while I got ready and prepped for the last two hour stretch of the trip.

I was officially en route to Coachella by 6:45pm. I remember eating very little all day because I just couldn’t, and I remember snacking on an apple and some goldfish during those last two hours to Coachella. (This is irrelevant but I’m throwing in all the deets I can recall).

I had never been anywhere near Coachella or Palm Springs, so I was really disoriented when I finally made it to that last highway before the getting to my destination. Traffic wasn’t horrible, but it was still quite a trek, so I was slowly getting anxiety with each passing minute. I followed directions directly to the fairgrounds, however, it was about 8:45pm at that point, and the streets were blocked a mile in every direction. I circled the area looking for anywhere to park, feeling helpless, I finally pulled over to ask someone what to do, and they informed me that parking had JUST shut down (at this point it was about 9pm). They suggested that I park at a shopping center and Uber in. I found a shopping center 3 miles away and requested an Uber. I was throwing things in my fanny pack trying to get it together because my Uber was on its way. The guy was only able to get me a mile and a half closer because of the street blockages, so I sped walked a mile and a half in, and started the winding path through the gates of Coachella.

I knew Ariana was scheduled to play at 10:30pm, and at this point it was probably 9:30pm, I was close enough, and I knew I would make it. I was no longer worried about making it in, but now I was having major anxiety and freaking out, and semi-crying at what might be happening in the next hour. There was a lot of talking to myself on that walk, the main message to myself was “BITCH BE COOL!” I knew it wouldn’t be a long line, since it was so late and the night was almost over. People were actually leaving as I was walking in and I’m thinking to myself, “don’t you people understand that *NSYNC is about to be on that stage?! Y’all are going to regret leaving early! I wonder how you are going to feel knowing you missed this when everyone would be talking about this in the morning!” But ya know what, not my problem. Their loss!

The walk into the festival felt just as long as the walk to the fairgrounds. It felt like miles of a fenced off path, which was made of dirt, but not just any dirt. The chunks of dirt were so huge, it was like walking on rocks. I was certain I was about to sprain my ankle, but I reminded myself that it would be worth it and the hospital would be there when it was over.

I made it through the gated path, nothing sprained, just a little sweat. I made it through security, and I was IN. I had absolutely no idea where I was going. I threw this trip together so last minute that I had no time to prep. I walked over to a tent covered stage. It was a big stage and I was like is this it?! I was looking for some sign labeling the stage or some list of set times, and found nothing. I asked around, the first two security people I asked were no help! One was so rude, he was like, “I don’t know, did you look at your map!” I’m thinking “mother f-er, don’t you think if I had a map I would know where the F I’m going, why would I waste my precious breath speaking to you?! I was like “dude, I JUST got here and there is no map and I need to know where the main stage is.” So his rude ass referred me to someone else who was nicer, but said that he didn’t know where the main stage was. I’m thinking “are you people kidding me?! How are you working the most popular festival known to mankind and you can’t tell me where the main stage is?!” A little panic started to set in. It was dark, it was getting late, her set was rapidly approaching, and I had no idea where I was going. So finally, I was referred to another guy, who actually pointed me in the right direction. He’s like “its all the way on the other side, past that tent, past the beer garden and you’ll see it.” The act that was on the stage I had first seen upon entrance had just started, and some people were running towards me to get to it, so I was going against traffic, but my destination was clear now. Once I had the stage in my sight, I stopped for a water. The girl selling those very reasonably priced water bottles (only 2 bucks! That was practically free in festival land) was like “I like your shirt” (an *NSYNC crop tee simply styled with *NSYNC across the chest. [PS I DON’T wear crop tops, but I figured, cuando en Coachella right?!]). And I simply asked, “this is the place right?” And she just enthusiastically nodded Yes. It was about to go down. I tried to locate a restroom, because I mean, I had just spent 2+ hours driving and chugging an energy drink and water, making no stops, but there were no restrooms in sight, and I was not about to walk back to the entrance where they were. I had done way too much just to get within eye shot of that stage, I figured, what’s a little pee in my pants?! It was probably gonna happen upon seeing *NSYNC for the first time in 17 years anyways! (PSS I didn’t actually pee my pants. I think my whole body had shut down at the point because nothing more was going to get in my way).

I kinda of walked back and fourth across the field, I walked all the way down the right side. I had one friend there already, but trying to get in contact with anyone in that mass of people was impossible. It was hard to tell where a good spot would be, because a lot of people were sitting down, so getting an accurate read was not happening. I knew just being there was all I needed, regardless of what I could or couldn’t see, but I really did want to see SOMETHING. My brain was all over the place, I was like “I could just start pushing through people. I could go all the way up front but all the way to the side,” the options were limitless. I ultimately didn’t want to cause any drama by pushing through people, I didn’t want a harsh angle of the stage, so I figured if I was semi central I would at least catch a glimpse of whatever was going down, no matter how far back I was standing. I couldn’t actually get centered because the sound and lighting booth was to my left and the people were too packed in to get through any further, not to mention there was a fenced off area in the middle for VIPs. (In fact, that’s where Billie Eilish and Justin Bieber were meeting. I remember seeing the crowd directly around that spot all holding up their lights and phones. I heard rumblings that it was Bieber, but I could not possibly care less, I’m not a fan [again, another irrelevant point, but it’s part of my memory, so whatevs!]) I settled on my spot and reminded myself that being there was enough. I’ve also done enough GA shows to know that when the show starts, people push in and up, so that was going to be my game plan.

By this time, it was probably about 10pm, and I only had thirty minutes to go! I was calm and quiet, because the ONLY thing I wanted in life might actually be happening, and I was there, I was a part of it. Ariana might have been a few minutes behind schedule, and I had no clue when the song I was waiting for would be coming, so I stayed calm and waited for it. It was the fourth song in, and when I heard the first cords to “Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored” I immediately started crying, and my camera went up in the air. If *NSYNC was actually going to be there, this was the song. This was my entire trip, the whole saga, coming to its peak, my dreams potentially coming true, 17 years of waiting. This was it!

I honestly couldn’t see much, and I didn’t even see them walk on the stage. This was either going to be the greatest moment of my life, or the biggest disappointment I’ve ever experienced. When the song came to a pause, and she looked over her shoulder, and then uttered the words I’d waited so long to hear again, I lost my whole ass mind. “Ladies and Gentlemen, *NSYNC!” I basically blacked out at that moment, and I only remember bits and pieces. I know I still couldn’t see, but what glimpse I did catch, I really only saw JC at first and I was like “is it just him?” And for a tenth of a second, I was thoroughly confused, but still getting my life and losing my ever loving mind! My eyes darted around, and I finally caught a glimpse of everyone else. (I also still didn’t know if Justin was there or not, because I knew it was physically possible that he be there, albeit, highly unlikely. Honestly, I’ll always love Justin, even though I can’t stand him much of the time, and I did secretly hope he would have made it to this, but I was perfectly fine with the fact that he ultimately wasn’t there). I didn’t know what my camera was recording, and I didn’t care, because this moment was everything. When the song ended, I stopped recording, because that was it...or so I thought. I had never even imagined that there would be more and I was so content with them just singing “It Makes Me Ill.” I didn’t have any time to process because immediately after that ended, “Tearin Up My Heart” started and my blackout went even darker. I managed to get my phone recording again, I still couldn’t see a thing, but it didn’t matter. What I do remember was the people right in front of me, looking back at me, and staring. I still have no idea why, because it could have been my screaming, it’s possible it was my singing, it might have been me sobbing, I may have even bumped them while jumping around. I was not aware of anything I was physically doing. I do remember Ari in the middle hitting that choreography so hard, and when Joey yelled “Let me see you jump!” I think that’s when I snapped back in to reality and I started processing things again. I went even harder with the dancing, singing and jumping, because it was one of those moments when I found myself actively living in the moment, and I wanted to live it the best I could. I’ve probably never smiled that huge in my life. As the song wound down, I stayed recording just in case more was coming (not that I needed anything else, because my life was complete in that moment), so I have them thanking the crowd and Ariana and that was a perfect way to wrap up that video.

Once they cleared the stage, I had to catch my breath, gather myself, and keep

from crumbling to the floor. I remember leaning over with my hands on my knees, trying to get my vision and hearing back. Attempting to process anything that had just happened. I had had a brief exchange with the guy next to me before Ari hit the stage and I was like “I’m here for *NSYNC” and I showed him my shirt. While I was trying to compose myself, he put his hands on my shoulders and was just like “OH MY GOD!” I think that was the general consensus of the crowd, because it was that epic. I stayed for her whole set, and appreciated everything she brought to the stage, but nothing would top *NSYNC. It was one of those show stopping, jaw dropping moments that could never be duplicated.

Because cell service had been so bad during the show, I just put my phone on airplane mode, as to not drain the battery, and I honestly, didn’t give a crap about the outside world. Not a lot of people knew I was going, and I didn’t want to jinx anything, so I kept the details of the trip very quiet, with the exception of a few friends I had texted or messaged directly. So once all was sang and done, I turned airplane off, only to be blasted with texts from friends who knew I was there, checking to see if I was still alive. Because I hadn’t replied immediately, a few of them thought I was dead in the dirt in the desert 😂😂😂😂.

The crowd was clearing out, and I was trying to coordinate a meet up with a friend of mine who scored a wristband earlier that same day. She was the only person I knew there, and I’m so glad I had someone to squeeze after the greatest moment of my life! We went to good ol’ Denny’s to hang out and further bask in the glory of the evening! We had mutual friends, and were pals on social media, but never had the chance to hang out together, so it was great to catch up and squeal about what we witnessed!

Finally, around 2am, I headed out of Indio, and I was on my way home. Yes, this trip was a down and back adventure. I knew it would be brutal, but I knew that it would be worth it. I drove about 3 hours up, and stopped to nap in the car, for what was supposed to be a 30 minute cat nap, but turned into a couple hours 😂. I was on a time crunch because I was due to be back at work at 11am. I got back on the road at 5am and the journey continued. I had exhausted so much energy at the show, that the last five hours of the drive home were harsh! I had to stop several times to stretch and keep my blood flowing, and at one point I knew I wasn’t going to make it to work on time, so I let my manager know. She knew I had gone, and knew I was insane, and was shocked I was still driving home, so she was cool with me coming in an hour or so late 🙏🏻. I made it home to shower and change, then made it to work for another nine hours. Although I was exhausted, I had the comfort of knowing that I had just experienced one of my top two moments in life (the other being the Star Ceremony) and the smile never left my face.

The entire adventure officially lasted less than 48 hours. I’m still amazed that everything went down the way that it did. I’m a strong believer in “if it’s meant to be, it will be.” And this was just another example of that being true for me, and especially when it comes to *NSYNC. I have experienced so many cool things and have countless memories thanks to those guys, and this moment will go down as one of the greatest!

[justapayneaway]

Hi! First of all, I’m a big fan of your account! Thank you for all that you’re doing! I have a question: Do you have a post/ multiple posts proving that the PR relationship with MH is indeed a stunt? (If you don’t have the time/energy to find anything could you tell me who else I could ask?) I am already aware of the bs but I’m trying to show it to others as well!

Hi :) thank you so much for the support!

Listen I don’t think I ever did like a post with all that’s adding up or I don’t think I've ever saw one... So I'm gonna give you a tiny crash course on this mess so maybe you can show others. This will be discussed in 10 long points under the cut:

1. The teenager met all the 1D boys in 2015. At that time meet & greets were a bit selective and mainly for people with money or for people going through charities. So knowing the teenager’s family you can see exactly why she had access *cof daddy has money cof*.

2. Fast forward to 2018: Liam became recently single after the whole sham thing ended publicly. Two weeks later he went to Italy and was invited by D&G to do a performance there for their fashion show. There he met a lot of people and the teenager was included in that gang. After a few weeks of this encounter we got a lot of articles saying they’re together and going on dates. As you can see from that time we had many articles from the usual suspects: (x, x - just a few examples).

3. But a few days later, we got a different story! Liam was seen with another model Cairo and he followed her on IG & started liking her posts. Again we got a wave of articles and even some pics of Liam trying to kiss her in front of our salad! Then out of nowhere in a John Mayer live (mind you like a few weeks later), Liam confirms he is single!

4. Again passing through the Naomi thing and him being single, we got to this last month and a half. So for his birthday, Liam went to Ibiza and oddly we didn’t get any new content besides the things he posted himself. On the day of his birthday, he tweets this: 

Fans started to side-eye everything and then on the next day we got the 1st pap walk between Liam and the teenager on a Friday. The pap walk was awkward as fuck, she looked bored and Liam gave his fake smile to her. It was very weird, but of course we had an explanation a few days later. 

5. Liam went through the same strategy and started following the teenager on IG and liking her posts. Then on the next Monday (2nd September) we got buzz and promo tour for Stack It Up started! Coincidence?! I think the fuck not. Over the next few days Liam was papped in London alone doing promo and then he went to Manchester. There he was seen at a restaurant, but we got no reports with who (I think his own team was there at the restaurant too). Again, next day we got articles on the tabloids saying that Liam’s parents met the teenager on a private dinner and that Karen liked the kid, but was worried blah blah blah. 

6. We got basically a weird radio silence on that week (probably because UK promo was done), but it all came crashing down when they were seen arriving at the airport in Madrid ahead of Liam’s concert. Again nobody cared about her or knew who she was... so his team had to film her at the concert trying to dance to Familiar and even include her on the background of the Lilo pic. 

7. After that it was like all hell broke loose! We got the 2nd pap walk where they were all “giggly” and “so in love” (thanks JoJo pics for always warning us of new pics!). She went to NY with him for Stack It Up promo and they’re papped again having a dinner date with Steve Finan too! She was there for basically two days: to get papped and to take that pic Liam’s team decided was the best pic to appear 1st when you’re saying thank you to your team and fans for the release of your new single. All the UK interviews basically mention her or he mentions her and they all say how happy they’re on the pics... Mind you these were the 1st pap walk pics that were cringie as fuck!

8. Then the IG comments appeared and it was the cringiest Wattpad Y/N flick ever! After they reunited “home” we got a sneaky pic of Liam eating alone at a restaurant. What happens the next day? We get the “making out” pics and after date it has been some solid every two/three days where we get some content. She goes wherever Liam goes! First, Liam posts something on his IG story of him going out or something music related. Then we get either something on her IG or on Liam’s. To end it perfectly we get pap pics. We usually get first a Just Jared article with the pics and then it spreads over night to all the tabloids. Ah btw Liam is always a pulling a “do you know my girlfriend” on IG stories by tagging her with the biggest letter ever!

9. Fun fact: HMV concert in Birmingham. So to be expected she goes again because the these two are just so ride or die since they first looked into each others eyes. His parents and his sister Ruth also attend. Most hilarious moment that I caught by accident: some dude was doing a facebook live and saw her leaving the backstage before Liam started to perform. She saw nobody was following her so she went back inside. A minute later she comes out with Liam’s team and Liam’s parents/Ruth. His parents pulled a “I don’t know her” and went to see Liam’s performance leaving her alone. Ruth stood next to her but didn’t talked or looked at her. Sad I know lmao.

10. Which brings me to the Table Manners podcast that came out this week. In that podcast Liam expressed how happy he was and that they were so serious. He talked how they met and used Greg Yuna as an excuse. How she was so cool and didn’t mind to be papped (of course) but that he worried about her image (then tell your team not to make you do so many pap walks). Later in the interview he said that “hey this has been going on for a while”, Jessie’s mom asks him how long have they been dating and he says and I quote “one month and a half”. If it’s already this serious, I don’t even want to imagine how will it be in the next few months! Then he mentioned that she is living in London and that he is going to Texas for thanksgiving with her family... Like already?! You just started going out!?

So in conclusion it’s basically this the timeline of Sham 2.0! 

(This got super long and I know I didn’t link some stuff, but it’s late and some of the things you can easily find on the latest articles. Sorry!) 

[paperjngs]

close as strangers part two.

A/N: I had somewhat of an idea for this part and I kind of liked how it turned out yet I think there shall be another part just because it doesn’t feel finished to me yet. However, as you read if you feel like it’s done then that’s cool but if you don’t, let me know and I may make a 3rd part… maybe I’m even working on it right now who knows. Again, thank you to @h-osterfield , your account is truly amazing and this idea for the challenge is brilliant, this is for you.

Warnings; mention of character death, angst, sadness, but.. some FLUFF at the end. It doesn’t make up for it all but it’s kind of cute ig.

part one  part three

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The cool air begins to freeze over as you continue to walk. The tears have dried over and numbness started to take over your whole body. It was one that you weren’t a stranger to, the reason behind it, however, now that was new. Tom had always seemed to bring out the worst in you in the best way possible, well, until now. He called you out on your bullshit and you couldn’t even get mad at him because you knew all he wanted was the best for you. For you to be happy.

It was one of the many reasons why you fell in love with him. Not only was he extremely sweet and kind but he always tried to make you better. He knew your past and how it was with your mother and how you felt towards people leaving. Maybe that’s why it hurt so much when he did it. He knew how much it affected you and he still walked away from you the way he did and not even a single phone call.

You were halfway home when you heard a car roll up. You could feel yourself tense up, bringing your bag closer to your small frame and feel inside for the pocket knife you kept in there. Ever since your car broke down, you have kept it in there when you decided to walk from place to place.

You had learned how to use it from your father, the one man that you had high views for. Ever since your mother had left you guys when you were 5 years old, he stuck by you through first scraped knees, first period and first heartbreak. He was also there for you when Tom decided to break off your relationship. He knew how much Tom had meant to you and how much it crushed you to see him leave like that.

So, your father let you stay at his house for a few weeks, it was a blessing in disguise because soon the whole situation with Tom was forgotten about. Staying with your dad brought up old memories hidden within the walls of the old family house and the old happiness you found in there restored. You were finally at peace and you didn’t feel as horrible as you did that night a few months ago right after Tom told you the news. It didn’t even bother you when Tom decided not to reach out to you, even though he had said that nothing would change and that you would always be someone special to him. You had your father and that’s all that mattered. That was until you didn’t anymore.

You had come home from a hard day at work and wanted to sit back and relax on the couch as you watch a comedy when you had seen his lifeless body on the cold kitchen floor. At first, you couldn’t register what you were seeing. The man who raised you, the one who helped you ride your first bike and made pizzas with you every Friday for movie night, was laying flat on the floor. Body cold and blue from the lack of oxygen coursing through his brain.

You couldn’t even recall what you did next, all that you could summon up were the paramedics running into the house, one of them coming from behind trying to calm you down as you shake violently in their arms, breathing becoming uneasy as the air that tried to course through your lungs felt like it was being wrecked through your entire body. The others trying their hardest to revive your dad's heart only to fail.

That was a few months ago, the picture still replaying in your mind like a song on repeat. You shake your head, trying to get the image and the thought of him as you continued to walk ahead, ignoring the car but also ready to strike a nice clean cut if needed. It wasn’t until you heard Harrison’s voice that you stopped in your tracks, turning around so fast, you could feel your head spin for a second.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, crossing your arms, putting on a brave face after the night you’ve been having but also anger being present from Harrison notifying Tom about you being in the same club as them.

“Giving you a ride, what does it look like I’m doing?” He says, nodding towards the inside of his car.

“Get in.” But you didn’t see the point of it, you knew how to handle yourself when it came walking the streets alone at night. You shake your head.

“I think I’m good,” You say, pulling out the pocket knife, using your thumb to pull back the lever and for the knife to snap back and reveal how sharp it truly was. You could hear Harrison chuckle, shaking his head, staring at you in disbelief. This only makes a knowing smile quirk up on the sides of your lips.

“C’mon Y/N, let me bring you home.” He begs which only makes you roll your eyes. You look around the empty streets, knowing you probably won’t be bothered but also knowing that Harrison wouldn’t stop until you get into his car. You snap the knife back into the socket and back into your purse before hopping into the front seat.

“You’re lucky, you’re a decent person and that I don’t hate you.” You say once in the car, which only makes him chuckle before pulling out into the road.

“Actually, I do hate you,” You say, you break your eye contact on the roads passing by to look back at Harrison to see him pop his neck towards you, confusion written across his face.

“Why is that?” He says before pulling his attention back to the road.

“You let Tom know I was at the club, you are the literal definition of a buzzkill, you know that right, Haz?”

He looks at you, smiling, a small sweet chuckle escaping from his lips. He shakes his head before a serious surface of emotion takes over the happy smiley one he was working, looking at you and then, turning to look at the road.

“What happened between you two?” He asks, no playfulness in his voice at all. It made your insides grow cold once again, remembering the worst months of your life. “And I know it wasn’t just because he broke up with you, which he regrets, by the way.” He adds, the little comment making you scoff and earning him an eye roll.

“Yea, right,” You look anywhere but his face. The stop sign, the lights from huge hotel buildings, the trees that sway to the sound of the wind as it whips the branches, making them dance.

“He does, Y/N. Trust me.” He says sincerely and no matter how hard you try to resist looking back at him, you still did. And there it was. In his eyes, you could tell, he was telling the truth. You look back the road signs to avoid looking at him, even more, when you noticed that he didn’t take the right turn back to your house.

“Hey, Haz, you missed the turn,” You say, but it didn’t seem like he heard you. So you say it again.

“My house is the other way, Haz, what are you doing?” You felt the urge to shake him because it seemed he had gone deaf but you knew Harrison better than that and you knew he was up to something.

“Harrison, what the hell are you doing?”

“Bringing you back to my place, I don’t think you want to be alone tonight.” He finally answers.

“And why is that?” You say, furrowing your eyebrow, waiting for a response, only for it to come a few seconds later. The color from Harrison’s face draining and the look of pity showcasing across his face. You knew what it was before he even said it and you were already getting the “It’s okay”’s out to mask the tears away.

“I heard about your father, I’m so-“

“It’s okay, I’m okay.” You say quickly before facing the window. Building up your wall once again, something that you never used to do, only in moments when you didn’t want to talk about something, something that brings such a negative infliction on you, you couldn’t bear it.

Silence washes over the two of you. The tension in the air, you wanted so badly for it to go away but you knew that it wouldn’t unless you try to talk positively about it or change the subject so that’s what you tried to do but the only thing that came out was, “Does Tom know?”

You didn’t know why it came or why you wanted to know, you just did. But Harrison shakes his head.

“I thought it would be best if you told him, I only found out a few weeks ago, right after we found out we were able to go home for a short break, I just thought it would be wise if I let you handle it and maybe try and fix what’s broken,”

“Haz, I don’t think that’s such a good-“

“C’mon Y/N, just hear him out,” He says but you don’t answer and watch as you see a familiar apartment become closer and closer.

Once the car stops, you jump out before realizing that Harrison didn’t move from his seat, he didn’t take out the keys or didn’t even seem like he was going to get out any time soon. Before you could even ask Harrison, what he was doing, you heard a soft whisper of your name. And as you turn around is when you could hear Harrison finally driving off, leaving you in the presence of your ex.

You could feel yourself frozen as you could see the droopiness of Tom’s face. The sorrow in his eyes followed along with red puffiness surrounding them. You hadn’t seen Tom look that way in quite some time but then again, he didn’t always tend to show this side of himself, only when it was serious. And you were the only one who could bring him back from it, making him smile with tight hug and kisses peppering his face. No words, nothing but the comfort of your presence was enough for him. You tried to resist the urge of the old habit of wiping the tears away with your thumb before bringing him into your arms.

The urge brought back memories of all of the good times with him. All of the cuddles, the movie nights, the surprise visits on set and even just the simple moments of Tom reading the script for his next movie as you read a new fantasy book you were dying to get your hands on. The legs of both entangled within each other, the silence between you guys were so pure and relaxing. It had almost calmed you down in that very moment, staring at him, trying to upkeep the anger you had for him but you were growing tired. You wondered if it was even worth it anymore if you should just give up and listen to him like Harrison said.

“Please don’t go,” Tom whispers, his voice breaking from emotion. He feared you were going to turn around and try and leave but if you were being completely honest, the state he was in, you didn’t think you could.

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry for saying that I didn’t know you because that’s far from the truth,” He starts it off and at first, you’re confused. You knew you had changed, you knew he probably didn’t recognize you at first, wondering who the girl with the low cut shorts and black tank top was in the first place. But that was what you wanted, you hadn’t felt like yourself in months so you dressed like a stranger.

“This isn’t you, love,” He comes closer to you and whispers it in your ear. Pulling away to look into your eyes, no emotion in them, no anger hanging from them so he continues. “You are so much better than this and I’m sorry for everything that went down between us, I realized my mistake right after but, it’s too late now, isn’t it?” He backs away, falling onto the steps with a loud thud.

You bite your lip, the intense feeling of anxiety brushing past you as a friendly reminder of the reason why you pushed away.

“It wasn’t because of that,” You finally say, Tom’s eyes sparkling up hope within them as you said those words.

“Well, some of it was,” You say and his eyes glimmer a little less shiner but still has that slit of hope stuck in them. You sit down next to him and lean your head on the cool stone wall surrounding the stairs.

“You know, my father died,” You blurt out after a moment too long, it comes out as a small whisper, so small you almost didn’t hear yourself. You figured Harrison was right, after all, maybe you should tell him. Maybe then, he would understand how shitty everything was, maybe he would understand why you changed.

“Wait, what?” He says, stunned. His mouth hanging open, making you look back at him.

“Nothing, nevermind,” His reaction made you remember the very reason why you barely brought it up, it was too painful. You get up from your place from the stairs, feelings the need to pace.

“Wait, no,” Tom pulls you back to face him, tears brimming them once again, that, alone, telling you that he heard you.

“What did you say?” He says but this time much softer, it was like he was trying to be quiet in the fear that you may break any second. But maybe it was true, maybe you would break any second but that’s how it was now. Maybe what he had said back near the club had some truth to it, maybe he didn’t know you anymore.

“Just forget it about it, okay?” You say defeatedly and this time, without pacing, you start to walk away. The whole scene that had happened at the club replaying all over again.

“Talk to me, please.” He pleads from where you left him, you stop in your tracks, clenching your fists. You turn around and walk towards him in such a speed, you are face to face to him in no time.

“You want to talk?” You tilt your head to the side, your voice rising before realizing that your anger was too.

“Okay, let's talk about how you weren’t here,” You point his chest, making him take a step back.

“Let’s talk about you broke up with me and swore nothing would change but didn’t even call, not even once!” You step closer to him and no matter how hard you try to calm down, knowing that it wasn’t all his fault but not being able to stop. It made you hate yourself even more and you know if you kept this up, he would end up hating you too. Maybe it was for the best.

“Or let’s talk about when my father died, you didn’t once, call to check up on me.” You knew that was a low blow, that he didn’t even know but he should’ve. He should’ve been there.

“I didn’t know, I’m so-”

“Oh but of course you didn’t because you weren’t here, you didn’t call or even messaged me, and that is the reason why I’m like this because I was alone to deal with it all,” Your cold hard exterior was starting to fade as tears welled up in your eyes, voice breaking. Only wanting the arms you knew you shouldn’t have, the arms that you didn’t deserve from the look on his face, still being so pure yet so broken.

“The one person that was there for me, gone, without any warning. Just like you.” You finally say before breaking down into sobs, the loneliness creeping into you even more now than ever before. This broke Tom to see you like this and all he wanted to do was make it all better. He captured you in his arms, leading you up the stairs and into Harrison’s house.

You didn’t even try to fight back, you were so exhausted. He brings you to the couch and it was as if he knew not to let go of you or you would crumble all over again. He used one hand to grab the blanket that hung loosely off the couch, his other hand gripping you tight. He wanted to make sure you knew that he would be here for you from now on, that he will always be here no matter how hard you tried to pull away.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He whispers into your hair but you couldn’t even be bothered to try and wave it away. To let him know, it wasn’t truly his fault. Tragedy falls on people all the time, that was just life. You fell asleep in his arms as he gently rubbed your back.

You were drained of all the emotion this one night seemed to bring but happy it ended with Tom by your side. You knew that nothing was fixed between you two but it didn’t matter at that moment, the calmness you felt with him made it all melt away.