#if you ever wanted to know why the brain rot is so high…she literally targets me with all my favs

[rebellionbeach]

final 8 beat post but I'll have everyone know that Kip Winger does exist but Reb doesn't....it's so over

[fernwehbookworm]

Woke The F*ck Up- Chapter 11

November 30th, 2017

Of course, it couldn’t last. Cadmus seemed to be everywhere. Now it wasn’t just drugs and guns. They were now spreading propaganda. Hate speech against anything and everything. Immigrants to minority citizens to the LGBT community. The city was being whipped into a fury. Protesters took to the streets as elected officials debated equal housing rights which lead to a riot as the right-winged conservatives started throwing bottles and rotting food at the rainbow-colored crowd sitting in the park across the street from city hall with colorful signs held up to display their thoughts.  

Shootings were occurring more frequently in the Hispanic neighborhoods, bullets being traced to high-end weapons that were similar to weapons Kara had turned over to the police from various busted Cadmus warehouses. Cadmus was the embodiment of the ‘Ideal Conservative American’ to the point where Kara was sure they were killing and driving away anyone who didn’t fit into their mold. As a bisexual woman, and James as a black man, Team Superfriends was starting to take this personally. Kara even had Winn sew a pride flag onto her sleeve. When someone got a picture of that during a daytime bank robbery, Power Girl was plastered on protest signs and became the main target of hate speech. Kara felt like she was living in a war zone, trying to find terrorists who want to build a wall and keep everyone out. Kara was growing more and more frustrated at the stupidity of people. They were no longer debating laws, they were debating whether humans should be treated like humans. It made Kara sick. She had to stop Cadmus, it wouldn’t solve everything but it would stop the fan from stoking the fire.

Kara was so busy that she had to hire contractors to do most the renovating when she had planned on doing some of it herself. Winn did manage to install a secret door from the first floor to the basement where their operations were held. He kept the men from even thinking of looking down there.

Days ticked by as Kara spent more and more time in the city, helping the police contain the violence as well as trying to find the source of everything Cadmus. She even skipped on going back to Midvale for Thanksgiving with Eliza and Alex, Eliza still not knowing how Kara really spent her time. Kara just told her foster mother that the gym was taking up a lot more time than she thought. Alex was furious. Her and Eliza had had a strained relationship ever since Kara was adopted. They moved past most of it but the Jeremiah died and Alex fell into drinking, which caused new issues to open old wounds. Kara always acted as a buffer. Alex made sure Kara knew of every awkward detail. Kara was too focused to care too much. She still couldn’t figure out who was in charge of the seemingly ever-expanding group. Only that it was a woman. One that no one ever saw up close. A woman who had an extensive chain of command and rarely got her hands dirty. Always a woman, never a name.

Lena’s tour had four weeks left and Kara’s heart ached to see her. Phone calls and video chatting didn’t help. Kara wanted to hold Lena again. She wanted to paint her. Well, Kara was painting her, and sketching her, and doodling her, any chance she could. Sometimes Kara didn’t even realize it was happening, she would be talking to Winn about something and all of the sudden Lena’s likeness would be on the paper below her pencil. Kara had it bad. She thinks she may love Lena but something was stopping her. That’s a lie. She knows what it is. Kara is a vigilante, who risks her life and jail time daily, and is still keeping it a secret. No, Lena knows she is going to tell her in just a matter of weeks. It's not really a secret then.

Despite Kara’s aching heart, she still missed phone calls and flights, every time she seemed to be caught up in one mission or another, or helping to stop riots before escaping with Guardian from the police. The cops weren't really trying to arrest the two people making a difference but the police chief was determined to bring down all criminals. Lena seemed to be understanding but even Kara was growing frustrated with not seeing her girlfriend and she was surrounded by friends. Kara texted Jess daily to really know what was happening with Lena, she was lonely. When not performing, Lena locked herself away to work on her music. She almost had a whole album recorded, ahead of schedule.

“Damn it, Kara. Again? How hard is it to be on time to the airport?”

“I am so sorry Lena. National City is in an uproar. Whole streets are closed to contain the protests and riots. James wanted an extra set of hands to take pictures and I got caught in the middle of it.” A couple of beats of silence.

“James… You are spending a lot of time with him lately.” It took a second for Kara to comprehend the jealousy underlining Lena’s neutral tone.

“No Lena, god, no. James is just a friend. Even less, he is my cousin’s friend and I do stuff like this for him and he will help with advertising for the gym.”

“Okay.”

“Lena, please believe me. I know you, I know you are thinking that of course, you won't be good enough. Damn it, I hate that’s the first place your thoughts go. But it isn’t true. Lena, I am so sorry this is my fault for not planning ahead. I miss you so much. I hate breaking promises but I am trying...”

“Kara-”

“I was looking forward to seeing you and meeting Sam and Ruby because you always sound so excited when you talk about dinner with them or teaching Ruby to play the piano and-”

“Kara! Shut up! All I said was okay. Yes, I feel a little insecure because this is the fifth flight you missed but also I know I ask a lot of you to put your life on hold there. Just try and make the next one. Now, I have to go tell a preteen that her new idol won’t be joining us tonight.”

“New idol? What do you mean?” Lena laughs

“Ever since she found out I was dating you, she has found every little bit of information on you. Including pirated videos of most of your fights. You should have seen Sam when Ruby told her she wanted to start taking boxing lessons. She literally had no words. It was quite hilarious.”

“And now I feel even worse for missing my flight. I hope she isn’t too disappointed. But please, have fun with them. When I meet Ruby, I will give her a few lessons, with her mother’s permission, of course.” Lena laughs through the line.

“I will let Sam know. And Kara? Please, stay safe. It sounds dangerous there and I worry about you being in the middle of all that.” Guilt washes over Kara. She swallows past the lump in her throat.

“I will. Goodbye, Lena.”

“Bye Kara,” Lena says softly. The line goes dead and Kara sighs as she returns to gazing over the crowd below in the park. She was perched on top of city halls roof. James stood next to her as they watched for signs of trouble.

“Still haven't told her, huh?”

“It's none of your business.” Kara snaps at the man in metal armor.

“I think it is when you go galavanting to another country every other weekend and take phone calls on the job. You are distracted and it's going to get you hurt.”

“Don’t act like some wise sage James. I have been doing this much longer. Hell, the only reason you are here with me is so you wouldn’t die trying to do this yourself. So don’t talk down to me James. Don’t forget, I never wanted you here. You forced your way into this. I was fine with just Winn and I. So stay out of my relationship.” Kara can see James’ eyes tighten in anger behind his helmet.

“Fine. Just, I think there may be a real reason you haven't told her, more than she would be mad. I’m going to the other side of the park. We should probably spread out anyway, there are a lot of people here and that threat wasn’t very specific.” He leaves without another word. Kara keeps her eyes below.

**

Lena hangs up and sighs. Kara knew her too well. That was exactly where her thoughts went. And still were. Her brain knew that Kara wouldn’t lie to her about this. Kara liked her and would be faithful. But missing flight after flight and then it took three phone calls just to get a hold of Kara today alone. It was chipping away at Lena’s barely pieced together heart. She hadn’t told Jess or Sam yet, but she lost her momentum in her music. Her worry no longer allowed the happier music she had been writing to flow out. Each chord felt like a dead end. She walked back into the studio and found Sam at the soundboard. The tall woman spun in her seat to face Lena, her smile faded quickly at the frown on Lena’s face.

“Kara missed her flight. It's just the three of us for dinner.” Lena plops down next to her friend/ producer. Sam scowls.

“Look, I know you like her, but I like her less and less every time this happens. Are you sure she is worth it.”

“She really is Sam. I know how this looks since you never met her.”

“It looks like a pretty girl weaseled her way into your life, received free trips around the world and the fame of dating Lena Luthor and now she is ghosting you because she is over it and got what she wanted.”

Tears prick Lena’s eyes. That is exactly her worst fear with Kara. Sam picked it right up and said it out loud. Lena tried to blink the offending liquid back but it just made it worse. The hot tears escaped. Sam looked over and noticed. She pulled Lena in for a hug.

“Oh geez Lena, I am so sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I mean I do but I know you like her I should have kept it to myself.”

“I-it’s just t-that that is exactly wh-what I have been th-thinking this whole time. I mean, it was so small at first but now, now it feels like it’s shouting in my h-head and I-I don’t know what to do. God, everything was s-so great until she left in Munich.” Lena is actually sobbing. She hasn’t felt like this since college. She feels ridiculous, but Sam is soothingly rubbing her back and she feels safe. After a while, Lena manages to catch her breath again and pulls away, but Sam firmly holds on to her hand still.

“I’m sorry, I haven't cried in… years. I don’t know where that came from.”

“Lena, this is completely normal. Crying is good because it helps you process emotions. If this is a fear you have then you definitely need to talk to Kara about it.” Sam says seriously. Lena barks a watery laugh.

“And if it's true, do you think she would just come out and say it? And if it's not true I’ll just hurt her with my doubt.”

“I just hate seeing you like this. I didn’t really know you before Kara but this Lena Luthor has been great and happy and Ruby loves you. By the way, she asked if she could start calling you Aunt Lena.”

“Really? God, I am going to cry again. Tell her yes I would love that. God, what is happening to me? I used to not have feelings.”

“It’s called being human, Lena. And having a family. Sometimes feelings suck, sometimes they are the best thing in the world.”

“I hate feelings.” Lena mopes. Sam laughs.

“Well too bad. Now, let's get back to work.”

**

December 5th, 2017

They finally had what they needed. The Cadmus Leader would be in National City organizing their next plan. Kara learned this from a scared new recruit as she transported him to police custody in a less than ideal manner. Winn was busy figuring out which warehouse she was actually going to be in while James and Kara suited up. And then they were on the move, Winn directing them through the still bustling nightlife of National City.

Warehouse was a loose term. It looked to be converted into a compound. High fencing with barbed wire. Shipping containers stacked high to serve as watchtowers. Armed men patrolling around the building. Everything was brightly lit and made it hard to find a dark corner to slip in. Winn's newest toy hovered silently by Kara's head. A small drone capable of x-raying through walls and tracing heat signatures. It would relay those back to Winn so he could better direct the vigilantes. With the extra eye in the sky, Kara and James carefully circumvented each prowling, trigger-happy, guard and made it to the roof of the warehouse. Skylights peppered the roof to let in light during the day. Now they shone brightly as the occupants worked to spread terror to the outside world. Kara crouched over one near the center and peered through.

Down below was everything. Tables of what Kara assumed were kidnapped women in their underwear as they bagged drugs for distribution. More men circled them along with the rest of the warehouse. Weapons caches were well guarded. Men and women were training in hand to hand combat and on a shooting range. There were even tables set up to act like an eating area and bunks in rows in a darker corner. In the middle, separated with fencing, and heavily guarded, was a bomb.

“Winn, are you seeing this?” Kara whispers.

“Oh yeah. Scanning now. Give me a second.”

Kara waits and takes deep steadying breaths while James shifts beside her. Part of her wishes she had left the man behind But also she knows she could never handle this alone. Whatever becomes of this she is glad to have back up, even if it is as inexperienced as James. The pair on the roof watches the work below in silence.

“Yup, that’s a bomb. When that is complete it can level at least ten city blocks.”

“Well shit.”

“Kara, if that goes off where it is, most of the surrounding community is Latino or African American. It will kill most of those populations in National City.”

Kara pauses. Thinking. Cadmus was bringing everything to a head. Hate was spreading like a virus and this was literally going to blow it into a nationwide problem.

“Winn, you said when this is complete. So it's not right now.”

“Correct. If it blows right now it should just take down the warehouse. But it will kill almost everyone inside.”

Kara watches the rounds of men. She watches the women working and a man entering the fencing around the bomb. He sets to work. Kara sighs.

“Winn, call Alex. We are in over our heads. Patch her through.” A pause then a beep.

“Kara? This better be good. Do you know what hour it is?”

“Alex, I need you. Actually the whole FBI. Cadmus has officially turned terrorist and I am in over my head.” Rustling through the line indicates Alex probably getting out of bed and dressing.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with that. How am I supposed to get a unit out because my sister the gym trainer told me to.”

“I don’t know Alex! Say it was an anonymous tip or something. Alex, They are building a bomb. One to level several blocks of National City. Men are heavily armed. Captured women are sorting drugs. This is it. Winn, send Alex the address. Get here.” Kara tapes her earpiece and ends the call.

“So, we are just going to wait?” James asks, voice oddly echoey in the helmet.

“Yup. Might as well get comfy.”

After a few minutes, something begins to happen below. Almost everything seems to halt. Doors Kara previously missed, opens. Out of the darkness and into the center of the warehouse, walks Lillian Luthor. Kara recognizes her from an old photo Lena had shown her. The woman is tall and proud. Commanding a room without speaking. A leader. It sends chills through Kara. Lillian says something and then listens to the response from the man working on the bomb. She nods approvingly, then strides towards the front of the warehouse, flanked by much more seasoned looking men. Men who do this for a living, for a life. Kara hears engines approaching and she knows in her gut that it isn't Alex. Lillian is going to escape.

Kara stands suddenly, starling James who had reclined against the slightly sloped roof.

“We can’t let her get away.”

“Let who?”

“Lillian Luthor, the Leader of Cadmus.”

James looks through the window.

“Kara, we can’t take them on our own.”

“We just have to stall until they get here.”

Kara crouches to keep her center of gravity low and strides towards the front of the building. There will definitely be too many guards out front to deal with if she doesn't take a few out before Lillian gets there. A glance in the next window shows that Lillian has stopped to talk to someone else.

At the edge of the roof, just out of the flood of light, Kara peers down. She unholsters the Night-Night gun and aims for the closets man perched on shipping containers. She silently prays the hours Alex spent drilling her on various weapons pays off. Once Alex joined the FBI she wanted to make sure Kara could protect herself, then it became a way for them to bond and spend time together. It slowly escalated over the years to more advanced weapons and targets. Kara had put it on hold though when she started her vigilantism. She takes a deep breath, slowly releases it, and pulls the trigger. A small clicking sound and a small flash of blue in the darkness, the silhouette drops to the ground.

“Way to go, Winn,” Kara whispers.

“Thank you.” He says cheekily. Kara just rolls her eyes and aims for her next target. She empties the clip, making one guard drop after another, before popping in another. Soon no one remains outside the front and not a sound has risen to raise the suspicion of those inside.

Until of course the front doors open and Lillian Luthor begins to make her way to the front entrance and where three heavily armored transport vehicles wait for her. She pauses a few feet out the front door when she sees a man slumped against the wall. The men flanking her draw their weapons. Kara drops behind them and knocks the knee out from one. The other turns and fires but Kara has already rolled away. Shouts from inside. Lillian holds a hand to stop the man from firing again. James drops next to her and holds up his shield.

“Oh good, both of my favorite vigilantes. This will make getting rid of you two so much easier. You have made my life more than difficult.”

“You have been causing panic through the city,” Kara says, the voice modulator changing her voice.

“Oh my dear, we have been restoring order to the city. And soon the country.”

“Order never follows bombs. They just cause death and destruction.”

“It will be a new beginning. A fresh start to build on.”

“You are insane.”

“I am right.” Lillian Looks to the door behind the heroes.

“Kill them.”

The woman turns away and Kara’s attention is diverted to the mass of men. All were armed and armored. Kara and James stand back to back.

“There is too many.” He says through there comms.”

“We just have to stall. Alex will be here.”

A man breaks the standoff and the first punch is thrown. They are too tightly packed for weapons or risk shooting each other. At first, everything goes well. James uses his shield to protect most of his body while smashing the others. Kara drops man after man. But soon their overwhelming numbers separate the pair. Kara is being attacked from all sides, slowly being forced from her partner. One punch hits, then another. A kick throws her off balance. Someone throws her over.r third shoulder and she is outside the ring of bodies. From the ground, she can see Lillian's retreating form. She pushes from the ground to chase the woman down. Mere feet from her, Kara is stopped by a grip of iron pulling her back to the ground. The man stands over her, he looks vaguely familiar but it escapes her how. Kara's vision is blurry from her head hitting the ground.

“You can't stop this Power Girl. Actually, how pretentious is that? What do you say I know who you really are?” Lillian appears over Kara, Kara tries to sit up but a heavy boot is planted in her chest. Lillian reaches down to pull back the hood and remove the mask. She frowns, almost like she ate something distasteful.

“Why if it isn't the little blonde who has been running around with my daughter. Another way for her to disappoint me. I wonder, does she know about your evening activities?”

“She isn't your fucking daughter. And she is not a disappointment.”

Lillian looks amused.

“Oh, so she doesn't know. How wonderful. Kill her, make it hurt.” The last part directed to the man above Kara.

Sirens in the distance cause Lillian to hurry away but Kara can no longer worry about that. The boot over her is gone, just long enough to swing back and hit her ribs. Kara has no advantage. She can't get her feet, can't get away. Kick after kick lands to her sides and stomach. A high kick brings the man's hell down and she hears the snap of her collarbone breaking. He straddles her and brings his hands to her neck. She tries to throw him off but he just headbutts her eye and slams her head back down. Everything is going dark, whether from head trauma or lack of oxygen, Kara isn't sure. Gunfire. Shouting. The night from her chest is gone, but the darkness is still coming.

“...ara!” A muffled yell. It's familiar.

“Kara, please…” it begs.

“Kara you are going to be fine you big idiot.” It's Alex standing over her, but her mouth isn't working. Then there is nothing as Alex’s tear-stained face fades away.

**

December 9th, 2017

An annoying beeping invades the darkness. It becomes insistent, begging to be noticed. Kara tries to open her eyes and winces. She tries to rub at then but her hand is trapped by something, a desperate grip. Kara blinks and looks down. Alex is asleep in a chair with her head on the bed, fingers tightly gripping Alex’s. Her other arm is in a sling. Kara's movements must have roused her because Alex is sitting up a blinking sleep away.

“Kara!” She exclaims.

“Hey…” Kara's voice is hoarse and gravely.

“I ought to kill you but I'm too happy that you are okay.” Alex stands and kisses Kara's forehead. Kara leans into the affection from her sister.

“What happened?” Kara manages to get out. Her sister reaches for the pitcher of water and hands Kara a cup with a straw.

“You were almost killed, that's what happened.”

“Lillian… Did you catch her?”

“No,” Alex says solemnly.

“James is he…?”

“He's fine. That armor took the brunt of it. Although he isn't too happy with you I don't think.”

“So, I guess this means my identity is blown.”

“Yes, and no.”

Kara looks at her sister curiously.

“Kara, I don't work for the FBI. I work for a secret government organization inside the government looking to take down local terrorist groups and our main focus has been Cadmus. They haven't done enough to be classified for our intervention until you called with the bomb information.  But since we were keeping tabs on Cadmus, we were also keeping tabs on you. I did not tell anyone, but someone else found out who you were. My director has made the decision to let you do what you are doing because of how you do it. You are now in one of our facilities and are getting the best care possible. So yes your identity is out, but only to those who already knew.”

Kara goes quiet and stares straight ahead while she processes. That was a lot of information to take in.

“Kara, say something. Please.” And Kara opens her mouth to do so when the television Alex must have been watching before falling asleep catches her attention. Lex Luthor arrested for conspiring with terrorists. Kara grabs the discarded remote off her bed and turns it up.

“Yesterday, with the aid of one Mr. Clark Kent. Another Luthor was put behind bars. Kent's investigation into the Luthor family in conjunction with the police and FBI…”

Yesterday he was arrested.

“Alex, how long have I been asleep?”

Alex winces.

“You had considerable head injuries and several broken bones and your lung even collapsed due to a broken rib…”

“Alex. How long?” Kara asks sternly.

“Four days.” Kara swallows hard, forcing back the continually rising panic.

“Where is my phone?” Kara says forceing calm in her voice.

“I brought it with a change of clothes that Winn packed for me.” Alex gets up and digs in the backpack sat in a table against the wall. She hands the phone to Kara.

Kara turns it on and waits. Two missed calls from Cat. Three from Eliza. A string of texts from Winn. A missed call from Clark. One last ding. A voicemail from Lena. Kara should have left to see her last night. With a shaking thumb, she hits play on the voice mail.

**

December 8th, 2017

Not even an apology this time from Kara. Lena just returned to the hotel from a fruitless trip to the airport when the news broke. Lex had been arrested. Jess was striding around her hotel room fielding calls from reporters as Lena stared out the window. Crowds were forming below in the street. Clark Kent had enough evidence to put away her brother and accuse her mother who had magically disappeared. Lena was the last Luthor standing. She was isolated at the top of her tower and sharks were circling below. She was alone. Lena remembers Kara mentioning that Clark was her cousin. Did Kara know this was coming? Is that why she didn't come? Is that why she began to pull away? The crushing weight of this spiral pressed down on her chest with each passing minute that she didn't hear from Kara.

Why was this so hard? It wasn't this hard when her father blew himself up. She got drunk, got high, fucked a girl, and moved on. Now her walls were gone and she felt each hard word thrown at her like a knife. Each Twitter comment chaffed like she had newborn skin. With her walls gone, her heart was unprotected because the person who protected it was half a world away and hadn't been heard from in three days. It was too much. Lena quickly crossed to the bed where she threw her phone. Jess gives her an odd look while still yelling at whoever is on the other end of her phone call. Lena waits with bated breath as the phone rings. And rings. And rings. Then Kara's sweet voice asking to her leave a message. That almost breaks Lena but then it beeps so she powers through.

“Kara, I just can't do this anymore. I can't have this hope. I needed you here and you weren't. You haven't been here and you won’t tell me the truth because I know you are lying. This was the last time I go to an Airport to pick up only find out you never boarded. I can't need anyone like this. As long as you give me hope then I won't be the person I need to be. I'm sorry to do this like this, but I am glad I got your voicemail because if I heard your voice I know you could convince me otherwise. But we can't Kara. I can't. This is over. Don’t try and come here, don’t try and change my mind. We are just too different, this never would have worked. Goodbye.” Lena hung up the phone in tears.

This whole thing was a mistake. From the moment she let Kara sit down at her cafe table. Kara had torn down all the walls Lena built up to protect herself and now with her brother in jail and her mother wanted, she had nothing to keep the pain out. Then Kara missed her flight again, off doing something with James probably. It was too hard. James was someone Kara should be with, someone good and who was making a difference in the world. Lena had let Kara build her up, love her, and rip her defenses down. Then Kara all but disappeared, leaving Lena raw and exposed. Lena needed to build back up her walls and she couldn’t do that with still having a possibility of Kara. Lena’s next phone call was to Sam.

“Do I need to get a babysitter?” She doesn't even say  ‘hi.’ Damn that mother’s intuition. She already knew.

“Yes. I need a fucking drink. And I can’t go alone.”

“Okay, I’ll find someone for Ruby. Then I’ll pick you up and you can tell me everything.”

One good thing came out of this half of the tour, Sam. And a night at a Sinclair Club conveniently down the street from Lena’s hotel.

**

Sam quickly took up residence at the bar to keep her eye on Lena while letting her do what she needed to do. Lena lost herself in the crowd after two quick shots and a kiss on Sam's cheek. Quickly she is surrounded by hot bodies all looking for someone to dance with. A man saddles up behind her and with a quick glance, Lena decides to allow the attractive man to press to her back. Especially when an attractive blonde presses herself to Lena's front. Both are moving Lena in sync and Lena is suspicious of their intentions because there is no way this was an accident but then the blonde is playing with her hair and Lena doesn't care. It feels good to let go. To let someone make her feel wanted because she hadn't felt that way over the past few weeks. After the song, the guy offers to buy them both a drink and Lena allows the girl to lead her over to the bar. Flirtaive touching happens while they wait. After two more shots, Lena is significantly buzzed. Then more dancing. Another shot.

“Lena Luthor. What a surprise to see you here.” Veronica's silken voice comes from behind Lena. She turns to the woman.

“Well, sometimes you need a drink when your brother gets arrested for terrorism. And after you break up with your girlfriend.” Lena adds as an afterthought. A gleam lights Ronnie's eye and she flicks her gaze to the couple standing behind Lena. They were, in fact, a couple, trying to woo Lena into their bed. Lena had decided to break her rule about threesomes because she needed this.

“You two can go.” They start to protest Veronica’s dismissal but Lena waves them off.

“You know I don't like foreplay.” Veronica states.

“Meet me out front. My hotel is just down the street.”

Lena goes to find Sam and tells her she's leaving. Sam eyes Veronica making her way to the door.

“Your sure you want to do this? With her?”

“I'm sure the sooner I move on, the better.”

“The mom in me is screaming that this is a mistake and I should stop you. But I won't.” Sam looks at her conflicted.

“I'll call you in the morning. Thank you for coming with me. For being my friend.”

“Always,” Sam says. She hugs Lena and lets her go while she pays for her drink and heads home to her daughter.

**

December 9th, 2017

Silence fills the hospital room after Kara plays the message. It was left just hours before. Kara glances at the clock. It would only be seven right now in London. Alex had heard the whole thing.

“Kara, I'm so sorry.” Kara's head snaps up.

“Don't. This isn't over. How fast can you get me to London?”

“Me?”

“You and whatever organization you work for.”

“Kara we can’t…”

“You will. This is the biggest break you have had against Cadmus, you said so yourself. If you don't get me to London then I will have Winn broadcast my suits body camera footage all over the media. Yes, that's right. A camera. That I'm sure you didn't remove until after I was inside this secret government operation or before you said things you shouldn't over an unconscious vigilante.” Alex's eyes widen.

“Are you threatening the United States government.”

“Yes,” Kara says matter of factly. Alex sighs and stands. She leaves but Kara knows she has won. A jet is soon fueled up to fly her to her chosen destination and Winn turns over the video files of the fight and subsequent care afterward. It's faster than trying to fly on her own. But it still leaves too much time to think.

**

December 10th, 2017

Kara knocks on the door. Tears sting her good eye and makes the one swollen shut throb. Her body ached. But she had to come. Had to tell Lena everything. This wasn't what she had planned, nothing was as she had planned. Lena’s heartbroken message still rung in her ears. This wasn't how they were going to end, because they weren't going to. Kara was determined. If Lena knew the whole truth it would be fine. She was just scared and thought Kara didn't care enough. But once Kara showed her the suit in the duffle that was digging into her bruised shoulder, Lena would know that she does. That Kara cares too much.

Movement on the other side of the door pulls Kara from her thoughts and she fumbles in her bag to prepare to pull out her suit. She had rehearsed what she was going to say the whole red-eye flight. Then how she would beg for forgiveness because she lied to the woman she loved. All that dies in her throat as she sees a fading smile on Lena’s face. Her body wrapped in a hotel sheet and her hair a mess. It was obvious what had been happening behind the door and Kara feels a punch worse than the beating she received days before. Fear floods Lena’s eyes and she clutches her sheet closer.

“Kara,” she says softly, as if not meaning to at all.

“Lena, darling, who is that at this hour?” Kara recognizes the silky smooth voice without seeing her face. Veronica Sinclair. And it hurts all the more. Kara shoves the red and blue jacket in her bag and turns back down the hotel hallway.

“Kara!” Lena calls louder, but it doesn't stop her.  Kara just turns the corner and finds the elevator still on the floor due to the late hour. She hears a door slam closed and hurried footsteps but the elevator is already closing. Tears stream down Kara’s cheeks and she hurries back down to hopefully catch the first flight back to anywhere in the United States and away from here.

**

Kara collapses on her couch numbly. She hasn't slept, really slept, in at least four days. Being unconscious doesn't count. She cried the whole flight back and numbly sat through a taxi ride from the airport. A quick text to Alex saying she home and didn't want to talk about it. She closes her eyes and falls quickly to sleep after being so emotionally drained.

Kara wakes to her sister shaking her shoulder and a concerned look.

“Hey,” Alex says softly.

“Hey.” Kara sits up and Alex sits next to her rubbing shoulders and pulling Kara's hand into her lap. Kara rests her head on her sister's shoulder.

“Want to talk about it?” Alex asks  Kara shakes her head.

“No. I just… no. Can you tell me something good? Like you captured Lillian and stopped Cadmus.”

“Sorry no.”

“Okay, well then at least you and Maggie are completely happy?”

Alex stiffens and Kara feels her stop breathing. She looks at her sister.

“Can't tell you that either. We broke up.”

“Oh, Alex no. Why?”

“Umm… well, we started talking about what we want in the future. You know, like where we want to live, and family and stuff. Well, Maggie doesn't want kids. At all. And you know me, I've always wanted to be a mom. So, here we are.”

“When did this happen?” Kara says, putting an arm around Alex’s shoulders.

“The night you called me. We had a long conversation. This was a deal-breaker for both of us. So…” Alex shrugs. Kara squeezes her shoulder.

“How are you handling it?”

“Not well. But I'm glad we had this conversation before we got too serious. I mean, can you imagine the hell it would be if we didn't talk about it before we moved in together, or hell, got engaged. I love her, so this is going to take some time and a lot of tears but I think it was for the best, for both of us.”

“Guess it's time for a sister night then. You pick a movie, I'm ordering take out.”

“No superhero-ing tonight?” Alex teases.

“I couldn't even save my relationship, let alone anyone else.”

When Kara comes back Alex has picked some action movie and Kara plops the bottle of whiskey in front of her sister. Alex's eyebrows shoot up.

“Kara Danvers has alcohol?” Alex peers closer at the label.

“Expensive Alcohol.”

“I bought it for… her. It's her favorite. I was just going to pour it down the drain but I figured now was as good as time as any.”

“For what?” Alex thinks she knows but she wants Kara to say it.

“To get drunk with my sister because we both need this right now.” Alex smiles and pips it open. Kara fetches two glasses.

“Kara you may want a mixer of some kind. Straight whiskey is hard to handle sober.” Kara fetches some sodas before joining her sister.

By the time the food arrives Kara is at least three shots of whiskey in and feeling buzzed, Alex is still fine and pays for it. Kara doesn't even try to follow the plot of the movie, all she knows is that it is loud with lots of explosions and her and Alex can laugh at the cheesy fakeness of it all. This felt good. She hadn’t spent much time with Alex lately, both of them were at fault for it but right now that didn’t matter. Right now she was with her sister, and right now she was very drunk. Her mind was foggy and a warmness was settling over her. No that wasn’t right. She shouldn’t feel warm. Kara felt like she should still be upset. Upset about what? Sluggishly, memories rose to the surface. Lena wrapped up in a sheet, but not because of Kara. Veronica. She was there. Then Kara had left Lena, or Lena had left Kara. One thing was clear, they were over. Kara bursts into tears so suddenly her sister jumped. Alex quickly recovered and pulled Kara into a hug, then Alex pulled Kara on top of her as she eased them both into laying position on the couch. Eventually, Kara cried herself to sleep, cradled in her sister's protective arms Alex sang to her. Kara always wished Alex would sing more. She had a beautiful voice but maybe that's why it made it all the more special. The special lullaby about a red robin fades as the alcohol does its job of pulling Kara into unconsciousness.