#if you disagree just scroll and let us have fun lmao

[alucarddear]

Position anon again, would you please write a NSFW alphabet for Alucard? Pretty please? 🥺

Alucard N S F W Alphabet*

I'm personally offended that I haven't done this for Lulu before. Anyway, rather than just spelling out his name, I'll give you the entire alphabet. Heh. This is LONG! Your thoughts and keyboard smashes are welcome. 🤭

P.S. I go explicit and specific; read at your own risk. I also tried my best to keep it as gender-neutral as possible, so this is [Alucard x You]. However, I did have a little self-indulgent fun with W: wild card, the only section with an obvious she/her indication. Just so you know!

A: Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Aftercare is not optional to this dhampir. It's a must. It doesn't matter if you had a quick romp or a long night, he'd still take the time to treat you right, especially if he'd been rather rough with you.

Forehead kisses, soft caresses, helping clean you up—you name it and he's got it covered. It's all about making sure you feel loved, appreciated, and cared for.

Alucard is not one to just up and leave or make you feel used. In fact, it's noticeable how much more he dotes on you after actually using you up good and fucking you raw into next week. 😏

B: Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

Your neck. Let's not even pretend that Alucard doesn't gravitate towards it. As you ride him, he buries his face in the crook of your neck and nips and pecks at your throat. There's a part of him that wants to sink his fangs into you then and there and another that wants nothing more than to whisper sweet nothings against your skin as you throw your head back in bliss.

Alucard likes his hands—the way they're so large against yours; how perfectly your hands feel in his own. He likes his hands gripping your thighs or hips, his hand coming down to slap your ass, his hands caressing every inch of you. The way his hand closes around your wrist, encircling it completely as if it was made to do nothing but. The way he pushes you down with his hand on the small of your back as he prepares to take you from behind. Most of all, all of the things his hands can do to make you cum.

C: Cum (anything to do with cum)

Alucard's desire to spill his seed inside you is next to nothing sometimes. If you'd let him, he'd bury himself balls-deep and cum inside you each and every time.

He loves to make you cum, loves the way you sound—the hitching of your breath, your begging, the way you can barely keep yourself from shaking as he coaxes yet another orgasm out of you. He loves to praise you for it. "God, you're fucking beautiful," is something you hear often. It just never gets old.

D: Dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

Alucard loves when you allow him to bend you over whichever way he pleases. Loves how tiny and pliable you look underneath him, adjusting and propping your arms and legs as he sees fit. Just the sight of you like that, it's enough to push him over the edge.

So, you know he draws you—you are his muse after all. You've seen his sketches. But not the ones of your beautiful, naked body. Not even the tasteful pieces he draws as you sleep. Not the ones where, try as he might, he just can't replicate how utterly divine you look when he fucks you. He's a talented artist, but nothing tops the real thing.

E: Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Is he very experienced? No. Does he know what he's doing? Hell yes. His mother was a doctor and his father is a man of science. He lives in a castle full of resources. He has deep knowledge of biology—he's got the theory down pat. Sure, he fumbled a little the first few times, but he quickly learnt how you like to be pleased.

Besides, being a dhampir, Alucard is in tune with your body's responses to his ministrations. When you're intimate, he can practically feel your heart racing, dear. He knows when you're close, can tell when he's hitting it good, need I say more?

F: Favourite position (this goes without saying)

Mastery. He sits on the edge of the bed, feet flat on the floor to support you sitting on top of him with your legs bent on either side of him, your feet flat on the bed. This position allows you to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss. It lets you start off slow, very intimate—with you grinding against and riding him. Once you're a little tired (or he starts growing impatient), he simply grips your hips and pounds up into you until you're a screaming wreck. His grip on your hips and his feet securely planted on the floor allows him to rut into you fast. And the view? Fucking fantastic. He loves watching you come undone like this, seeing you throw your head back and expose your throat to him. Yes.

For a quick romp, you can't go wrong with doggy style. When you're in his study and you both get a little too distracted? He’ll bend you over his desk and have his way with you.

G: Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Oh, he's very serious about giving both of you a good time, alright. He might do something that makes you giggle, sure, but for the most part it's probably accidental and not his intention. Sex with Alucard can be intimate and sweet or downright animals humping in the undergrowth (👀), no in between. He's not here for the shits and giggles, darling.

H: Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

It does match. Maybe not all the time completely bare, but he keeps himself neat and tidy. Do you see his luxurious hair? He takes care of himself down there too.

I: Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Alucard loves to see you and hear you. He's considerate and goes out of his way to find what works for you. So much so he probably has ruined you for anyone else. You'll never find a more receptive lover; it’s time to accept that.

When you make sweet love, he whispers sweet nothings against your skin. He peppers kisses all over you and makes you feel like the most gorgeous being on the planet. He's not afraid to voice his thoughts out loud too, praising you and urging you on.

J: Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

You remember those naughty sketches of you? Yep. He has used them a couple times while you were away. You're in his thoughts whenever he touches himself.

K: Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Edging. He not-so-secretly loves it when you beg. How are you to know how much more you can take? He'll just have to show you.

When you moan his name as you grip the sheets and quake beneath him? Yeah. He loves it, especially when you can barely even make out the words for “Adrian, please, please, please.”

When you take control and ride him like your life depends on it, it does something to his brain. You on top, taking control and looking absolutely beautiful as you do so... he could cum just from the thought of it.

There is a part of him that likes the thought of cumming deep inside you and breeding you. Maybe it's that loneliness that sometimes nags at him, maybe he yearns for a family, but he can't lie this feels utterly divine.

L: Location (favourite places to do the do)

The bed is cliche, but it works and is comfortable. Your kitchen counter, desk, against the wall or a tree, table, or out at some secluded clearing by the lake... Alucard is truly not that picky, as long as you're not out in the public for other eyes to see and you’re both comfortable.

M: Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your reactions and enthusiasm. Knowing you're into it just as much as he is.

When you sashay towards him, crooking your finger at him to beckon him closer? He's right there with you in a heartbeat.

When you wear his shirt and it swallows your smaller frame? It turns him on more than he lets on.

When you moan his name and gasp and writhe in pleasure. When you beg for him to take you harder, faster, and deeper. It just about short-circuits his brain.

N: No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Any form of bondage or restrictions to his movement. It brings up unnecessary trauma and makes him feel that he's not in control or safe. He is mostly a switch, sure, letting you take control and dominate too, but tying him up is just a no-go for him.

He won't transform into a wolf. It's practically bestiality, which he's not down for.

Somnophilia or any other act where consent can be dubious. He's just big on consent and trust, for obvious reasons.

O: Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves having absolute control over your pleasure, knowing it's him coaxing the sighs and moans and screams out of you. He enjoys how easily he can make you cum and drive you mad.

That said, he also loves watching you pleasure him, taking as much of his hard length as you can, especially whenever you greedily swallow his load.

P: Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It really depends. Sex can be whatever it needs to be in the moment. While he loves nothing more than to take his time and make sweet love to you, he also loves ravaging you and leaving you utterly spent. It's satisfying either way.

The usual case is he begins slowly and sensually, but by the end of it (and sometimes without warning), he's rutting into you like his life depends on it.

Q: Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He isn't above having a quickie if that is all time permits, but he would really much rather have his way with you properly!

R: Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Given that he's a dhampir, he knows exactly how to go unseen or unnoticed. It's likely his risk assessment is much more honed. You might think you're being risky, but he is well aware of the chances of you getting caught in the act.

As for experimenting—other than his hard reservations (the ones listed in N), he is game to experiment and try different things you may be curious about as long as you both feel safe and comfortable about them.

S: Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He's a dhampir... need I say more? The chances of you exhausting him first is little. Sorry to burst your bubble. 😆 He's got stamina for days, honey.

T: Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Alucard is not above using toys to pleasure you. But what can a toy do that he can't do better? Hah. Chances are he will attempt to learn how it pleases you and try to replicate that with his own cock, mouth, and hands.

U: Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He can be such a little tease. You know the way he banters. That snark and sass can sometimes make their way inside the bedroom too.

"What was that, darling?" he'd ask, as if his amazing sense of hearing wasn't enough to register your begging as he edges you for the nth time. "Tsk. Patience, my love..." he would even dare chide you!

Alucard also loves to glide his fangs over your skin, just enough to leave a faint mark but not enough to draw blood.

V: Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not shy to let you know he’s having a good time, but he’s also not overly loud. He gasps, moans, and curses, a tight-lipped “Fuck!” slipping out once in a while.

W: Wild card (a random headcanon)

He loves to praise you. His way of talking dirty is to let you know how good you feel around him. How ethereal you are, how perfect for him, how you taste so sweet.

He encourages you as he pushes you over the limit. “Yes, yes, darling, you can take it. Cum for me,” he would say. He’d place a kiss on your open mouth as you convulse around him as he rips yet another orgasm out of you. “My sweet darling,” he would groan, wiping the sweat off your brow. “How perfect you are. Good girl.” And just like that, he’s about to do it all over again. RIP. 😫

X: X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s active and it shows. He’s well built without being overly bulky. It suits him—muscular/toned yet elegant and lean.

He’s packing a just-about-above average penis, but nothing you cannot handle. The man’s over six foot, it just fits.

Y: Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Alucard is the type to yearn and pine, so set the volume level up cause he cannot get enough of you. Enough said.

Z: Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sometimes you drift off to sleep together, but you usually fall asleep first.

He’s a night owl. He’d take you in his arms and stroke your hair as you sleep, admiring the way you glow under the moonlight, and wonder how he got so lucky to have found you. 🤍🌙

[poppyseed799]

Okay fellow 3rd life fans I think it’s time I come clean. I have been silent about this the entire time, thinking about staying quiet cuz it seemed the whole fandom disagrees with what I’m about to say but I will stay silent no longer.

I don’t get why people say the Desert was “clearly the bad guys”.

Let’s get this out of the way: I mainly watched Scar’s POV along with Grian’s. I watched a fair amount of Martyn’s episodes as well, a couple from Scott and then random episodes from Skizz, Cleo, Impulse, Jimmy, and probably more. Definitely plot important ones I watched from more POVs than just my main guys Scar and Grian.

I just don’t get why, when people look at all of the different factions, they look at the Desert and go “yes they are clearly in the wrong and the only ones I can easily label as the villains in the overall story” what??? Don’t even get me started on “it’s interesting that the villains won in 3rd life” what??? I always viewed them as the more innocent ones, although the story is very morally grey so it doesn’t say TOO much lmao.

So let me explain why! Well, honestly, I’m more confused as to why y’all say they’re so obviously the villains, so I’m just explaining why I’m confused here lol.

So first of all let’s get the scamming and monopolies out of the way. I have less to say about the monopoly so let’s start with that. THEY NEVER HAD A MONOPOLY… if the idea of making a monopoly is bad enough for you guys, then might I remind y’all of the cow monopoly that was attempted? Everyone was looking for ways to make business… and a SAND monopoly was CLEARLY doomed to fail!! Not to bring Dream SMP into this but if y’all are gonna say OG L’Manberg was innocent because they didn’t succeed in the potion monopoly at all then let’s have that same energy for the Sand People!!!

Now for the scams. “Oooh poppy how are you gonna defend the scamming” BECAUSE IT WASN’T SCAMMING??? Scar made it clear what he wanted and what the person would receive in return. They were told they were going to receive a piece of paper and they agreed to it! Don’t listen to Grian “don’t listen to Scar it’s a scam the papers don’t mean anything” because he was LYING. Not purposely, but he was lying. Scar NEVER said “hey Grian let’s scam people with fRiEnDsHiP” instead he always told Grian that it WAS real and that he WOULD go through with all of the papers. And he did! There were a couple of mishaps but obviously it’s really difficult to control every situation. Plus Scar had a hard time remembering all of the friendship passes lmao. But he really did try, he really did value these trades, it wasn’t scamming just because Grian thought there was no way it was worth it.

The only Scar hater I stan is Skizzleman he had all right to be mad at Scar but that doesn’t mean Scar was the enemy of the whole story lol

Now onto something that I don’t know how to start explaining but is a very big reason why I’m confused about the fandom calling the Desert the bad guys. NOBODY IN THE SMP TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY. I saw SO many posts about how “Scar and Grian seem like fun guys in THEIR POV but in others POV they’re really scary!” Like no? I always thought it was the opposite. Like watching Scar’s POV I was like ��ah man they have to kill people cuz red life this is so dramatic they are feared by the server…” BUT THEN I WATCH SOMEONE ELSE’S POV AND THEY LITERALLY SAY STUFF LIKE “lol we don’t have to worry about Scar” “dang all those people just exploded. Anyways Scar is the weakest red life and we have nothing to worry about when it comes to him it’s all the other red lifers that are a problem” “lol there goes those idiots trying to make a monopoly on sand so silly” and I’m like. Oh. The entire server treats them like silly cartoon villains that never achieve anything. And yes they say these things WHILE hunting the Desert People down like what. Basically the server treating the villainous things the Desert did as not very serious made me think the same, which is why I’m so confused that people think they’re the Big Bad Guys.

ANOTHER THING relating to how the server treats the Desert: alliances!! The Desert was very loyal. Scott and Jimmy trusted the Desert, which shocked many people on the server but were they wrong? No! The Desert trusted the Hobbits back fully as well. They were the only alliance they fully trusted, but they didn’t go behind their other allies’ backs just cuz they weren’t so sure about the alliance. Sure there were comments about Impulse, but that idea was fed to them by Impulse’s allies, they had no other information. And yet they STILL gave him stuff and didn’t flinch when alone with him above Dogwarts, because even with him being suspicious he was still their ally and they are loyal as heck!!! Sure there was Impulse’s demise but like. That was endgame, everyone was looking for a reason to kill someone, and the Desert was told that Impulse was sus af and his own allies didn’t trust him so it was an easy pick. Bdubs coulda said no. And yeah Scar betrayed Bdubs in the end but like. Once again, endgame, and also it was “kill the person who stuck with you since the beginning” or “kill the person who is only on your side cuz you gave him a clock a while ago and lied to you about liking watches”. What do you expect? Plus the ending showed how loyal Scar was to Grian, the guy who owed him his first life and stuck with him till the end. Beautiful.

ANYWAYS EVEN MEMBERS OF DOGWARTS WERE LIKE “I have a hard time killing Scar because he hasn’t really wronged me personally in any way, he’s fairly reliable as well” LIKE… bro they were ENEMIES. Scar also didn’t really want to hurt them!!! Also can I just say that the only reason Scar was as bad as he was was because he was the first person to go red? Red lifers are supposed to be like the villains, so I don’t disagree with people saying that at FIRST Scar was a villain cuz he was red (although wtf were some of these guys up to using excuses to kill people while green (not talking about Grian)) but he wasn’t even that bad while he was red. He was just the worst by default since he was red lol. Which was entirely not his fault, and he only wanted to kill Ren pretty much lol. So I guess Scar being the villain depends on if you consider Ren to be the main character of the entire server.

Which is another thing I don’t get… why people see Dogwarts as the good guys. There was a CLEAR corruption arc people. Dogwarts had loyalty, but it was very ride or die, as in “if you don’t ride with us you will die”. You watch these guys call everyone (not just the desert people) “filthy peasants” and not realize they are acting like villains??? Plus the ominous “red winter is coming” like what. Not saying they weren’t good at the start, nor that they were completely and totally bad, just that if you were to frame ANYONE in this MORALLY GREY SERVER as “The Bad Guys” why not the ones that made it their entire thing????? YES they were good at first, they had regrets and cared so much about their people (just not anyone else lololol). It’s a tragic story, and you’re gonna write it off like “no even when they started doing bad things to people who never hurt them it was justified” even when they regret those things towards the end or after death so clearly it was wrong??? Guys.

I don’t want to call anyone the Bad Guys in 3rd life tho. They all did bad things, they all had valid reasons, they all had people they cared about. I just don’t get why people pick the Desert when they try to pick villains. They weren’t totally innocent but I never saw them as THE villains. For me, even while watching Martyn, that was always Dogwarts, and even then I don’t consider them Total Villains because the server is so grey! I loved them I just think that if anyone is the bad guys maybe it’s the self-imposed king that threatens to take ALL of your lives if you don’t show complete and total loyalty to them and wave their banner above your house to show it. Even if that king started out innocent and only went red to protect his friends. Once again tho I don’t like picking Bad Guys for this server. It was a very good story without having a clear right or wrong.

Just wanted to confess that, don’t really feel like arguing about it cuz I see enough people calling the Desert the Villains just scrolling thru the main tag lmao.

[sapphosclown]

Kiss Him You Fool - Willex Oneshot

aka willie and flynn are best friends and she’s done with this mutual pining bullshit. (boys are alive bc i didn’t feel like thinking about ghost logistics today lmao)

so i didn’t get to participate in willex week nearly as much as i wanted to so this is my song fic/au fic (i guess? since the guys are alive? idk) for free day since i didn’t get the idea till last night at 1am. anyways i also didn’t sign up for the gift exchange but i still wanna dedicate this fic to @fairygclds for hosting this week bc she did an amazing job and i love her v much, ty mari <3

title is from Kiss Her You Fool by Kids That Fly, cute song highly recommend

rbs and comments appreciated :)

———

———

That was real right? He didn’t make that up in his head? That happened. Right?

Willie was abruptly knocked out of their thoughts as his board hit a crack in the sidewalk, sending him onto the pavement, scraping his knee. Although, the stinging did help them snap out of the daze he was in, making him realize that yes, this is real life, and yes, he and Alex Mercer almost kissed.

***

“Stop, you’re not allowed to be that good at everything.” Willie teased as Alex just barely completed a loop around him.

“I feel like we are experiencing different timelines here or something.” Alex let out a shaky laugh as he flailed his arms in an attempt to regain the balance he’d just lost. Luckily, Willie held out their arm for him to grab just in time.

“Come on, you’re doing great! Just need to have a little more faith in yourself.” Willie smiled gently, offering extra support with his free hand.

Alex scoffed. “I think I’m a roller skating kind of guy.”

“Well, I disagree but if that’s how you feel—”

Alex rolled his eyes, making Willies stomach flutter. He helped him off the skateboard and they sat down on the couch in the studio. Willie ignored the fact that despite having the entire couch to themselves, they sat right up against each other, and he especially ignored the way their knees touching made his heart beat faster than normal.

“Actually, I think solid ground is where it’s at.” Alex said, only half-joking.

“I guess, but the wheels add some spice that solid ground could never live up to.”

“Exactly. You know exactly what you’re getting with solid ground. Me and wheels have a complicated relationship.”

“Oh really? You guys have a falling out?” Willie teased.

“Ha, yeah. There was some falling.” Alex gave a sarcastic laugh.

“But that’s the fun part! You can get some pretty rad scars from skating.” Willie pointed out.

“‘Rad?’ What, are you from the 80’s?”

“Listen—” Willie shushed him, shoving his shoulder into him playfully.

They laughed for a moment before falling into a comfortable silence. Willie was really tempted to lay his head onto Alex’s shoulder, or hold his hand.

His hand was right there. It would be so easy... But instead he grabbed their own hand and started messing with their fingers.

“So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?” He asked lamely.

“We’re rehearsing for our gig tomorrow night. Luke and Julie are going over the set list one last time right now but we should be starting pretty soon.” Alex replied, checking the time on his phone before looking back at Willie. “Actually, if you wanna hangout while we rehearse, I don’t think they’d mind.”

“Oh, yeah! That sounds great!” Willie smiled.

“Cool.” Alex nodded, and maybe he was seeing things, but Willie could’ve sworn his cheeks were turning pink. That made him giggle.

“So, what’s the set list then?” They asked curiously. He shifted his body so that he could look at Alex, only mildly upset about the loss of contact, but being able to see the faded pink in Alex’s cheeks made up for it.

“Well, usually we start with Edge of Great, but Julie and Luke wrote this new song that is perfect to open with and I just know everyone’s gonna love it—”

Willie stared at Alex as he rambled on about the show and they couldn’t help the soft smile on their lips. Alex noticed almost immediately and stopped talking, almost embarrassed.

“What?” He asked.

“No, it’s nothing.” Willie said, waving his hand for them to move past it.

“No, I feel like you’re judging me!” Alex giggled.

“No! I’m not judging you!” Willie reassured. “You’re just really cute when you talk about music.” He said softly.

Alex went bright red. “Oh.” He replied in the same tone.

The air around them went quiet again, but this time filled with a different feeling. The feeling that there was nothing else in the world but the two of them. And suddenly their faces were a lot closer than Willie had realized. His eyes flicked down to Alex’s lips subconsciously and then back to his eyes, which he found were doing the same thing. There was nothing stopping him, all he had to do was lean in just a little bit more...

“WHO’S READY TO MAKE SOME MUSIC!” Reggie called excitedly as he entered the garage, making Willie and Alex jump apart. Reggie eyed them suspiciously. “Oh, hey Willie.” He said, eyebrows pulled together like he was piecing together what just happened.

“Hey.” Willie breathed uncomfortably. He felt like he couldn’t get enough air.

“Are you gonna hangout for rehearsal?” Reggie asked.

“Actually, uh, I gotta get going.” Willie sputtered before his brain could catch up to his mouth. They stood up and grabbed their things messily.

“I thought you said—”

“I just remembered I have to do something.” Willie cut Alex off. “I’ll see you tomorrow though?”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Alex said quietly, failing at hiding his disappointment and making Willies chest ache.

“Cool.” Willie said. “See ya.” He threw an awkward peace sign at Reggie (who gave him one back) and skated out of the garage as fast as he possibly could.

***

“You are a disaster.” Flynn scolded, grabbing a dinosaur band-aid out of her desk drawer.

“I know!” Willie yelled into her pillow. She plopped down onto the bed in front of him.

“Why didn’t you just kiss him! You had the opportunity and he clearly wanted to kiss you too!” She yelled.

“I don’t know!” Willie whined, throwing the pillow back down into his lap. “I wanted to but I froze! And then Reggie showed up and I couldn’t stay after that! What if he didn’t want that to happen, what if he hates me now!”

“He doesn’t hate you! He’s very clearly in love with you, I don’t know what you’re not understanding about this.” She peeled the paper off the band-aid and carefully stuck it to Willies knee.

“You don’t know that.” He huffed.

“Who do you think you’re talking to? He likes you. When have I ever been wrong?”

They hated to admit it, but there have been very few times Flynn has been wrong.

“Fine. But what am I supposed to do?”

“Go back there? Ask him on a date or kiss him or just literally do anything.”

“I can’t go back! He’s rehearsing! I don’t wanna barge in while they’re rehearsing. And I left so fast it’d be so awkward—”

“Stop making excuses!” Flynn shook their shoulders, as they pouted. “Call him and say you forgot something.”

“I didn’t forget anything.” He said plainly. Flynn shot him a look.

“Duh! I know that, but if you tell him you’re coming back to get something then you can’t chicken out.” She explained, exasperated.

“Oh! Well what should I say I forgot?”

“Your phone, that's a reasonable thing you’d need to get back.”

“Okay. Okokok.” Willie mumbled to themself pulling out his phone and scrolling through his contacts before Flynn snatched it from them.

“What are you doing?”

“Calling him like you said!”

“Use my phone dummy! If you call him from your phone he’ll know you didn’t leave it there!” She opened her phone and before Willie realized what was happening, the phone was ringing on speaker.

“Hello?” Alex’s voice cracked through the phone.

Flynn looked at Willie and then back to the phone when he just sat there mouth agape.

“Um, hi. It’s Willie, not Flynn, I, um, left my phone in the studio and I’m on my way back to grab it.” They stuttered, hitting his head at his awkwardness.

“Oh alright. See you soon, then.”

“Yup. See ya.” Willie threw his head in his hands, their face turning bright red. Flynn ended the call and leaned against her wall with their arms crossed.

“You really are a disaster huh.” She teased.

Willie threw his pillow at them playfully and jumped off the bed. “I hate you.” He laughed.

“Love you too.” She grinned slyly. “Now, go tell your boyfriend he’s cool and you wanna kiss him!”

Willie groaned as he grabbed his things as Flynn shooed him out of her room.

***

“He’s coming back.” Alex said quickly. His friends shared the same look as they all “ooooooo”d at him.

“Guys stop! What do I do!” He cried.

“Man calm down, it’s alright.” Reggie consoled him.

“Why’re they coming back?” Julie asked turning her keyboard off so she can lean on the keys.

“Said they forgot their phone.” Alex replied.

“Mhm, right. Sure he did.” Luke teased. If he were closer Alex would’ve shoved him but he felt like he was glued to his seat.

“What do I do?” Alex asked again.

“I mean, we can keep rehearsing till he gets here if that’ll take your mind off of it?” Julie suggested.

God bless Julie. Alex nodded.

“I don’t know, it seems like he and Willie have some unfinished business.” Reggie winked.

“No! Nothing was happening! Nothing happened, it’s nothing. He just needs his phone back.” Alex tried to ignore his friends snickering but his mind flashed back to Willie on the couch in front of him. He really thought Willie had wanted to kiss him, but if how he left says anything, Alex must’ve misread the situation. They probably hated him.

“Dude, I can practically hear your thoughts and I promise you, he likes you.” Reggie assured him.

“You can’t know that for sure.” Alex mumbled, watching his drumstick twirl through his fingers.

“Maybe not but, we’ve all noticed how they look at you.” Luke cut in.

“It’s not exactly a secret.” Julie said sweetly.

“I just... I care about them a lot and what if you’re wrong and that’s just how he acts with his friends—”

“No, dude, we’re not letting you talk yourself out of this one.” Luke laughed.

“Seriously, Alex, you should go for it!” Reggie said encouragingly, walking around his drums to clap his shoulder.

Alex thought about it, he really did. He really thought for a second that he could do it, he could just lean forward and kiss him and they’d live happily ever after. But he over thought it, as usual.

“I don’t know. Maybe someday.” He shrugged.

“You can’t just wait for someday! You gotta go after what you want!” Luke exclaimed. Julie nodded.

Alex smiled at his friends. He appreciated their support but he couldn’t help but be afraid. Deep down, he knew they were right. He knew if Reggie had been just a minute later... But he still didn’t want to get his hopes up too high. Because there’s always that what if that won’t leave him alone.

There was a gentle knock on the garage doors as Willie stepped into view, he was hugging his arms and had a soft smile on his face. They carefully waved at everyone before he made eye contact with Alex, and suddenly it felt just like they were on the couch again. Just the two of them.

You know what. Maybe it’s time for someday.

Alex stood up from his drums and walked over to Willie, trying to act nonchalant. He heard Julie clear her throat to get the other two to stop staring at them and at least pretend to do something else.

“Hey.” Alex breathed.

“Hey.” Willie replied. “Can I actually see you, out here?” He asked shyly, nodding his head out side.

Alex nodded and followed Willie out of view of his band mates.

“Sorry, I probably should’ve looked for your phone before you got here but—” before Alex could finish his sentence Willie had cupped Alex’s face and pulled him into a kiss.

Alex felt like his heart had just exploded and he wasn’t completely sure if he was real anymore, but then he felt his hand rest on Willies cheek and he could confirm that yes, this was happening.

It didn’t last longer than a few seconds before Willie pulled away again. Their eyes searched Alex’s face for any sign of his emotion but Alex had completely stopped functioning and didn’t quite know what to do until he felt Willies grip on his face loosen.

“I’m sorry—” He tried to retract his hands but Alex held them in place, and he couldn’t help but laugh. He saw Willie’s worry fade and Alex pulled him back into a kiss. This one much softer, less rushed. No longer a question, but an answer.

They pulled apart and Alex noticed Willie shrinking down a bit and smiled to himself.

“Do you have to stand on your tiptoes to kiss me?” He asked cheekily.

Willie raised his eyebrows. “That’s the question you have right now?”

Alex nodded, his smile unmoving.

“I’m glad you have your priorities set.” Willie laughed.

“Definitely.” Alex whispered. “Priority number one, make you stand on your tiptoes to kiss me again.”

“You’re mean.” Willie pouted. Alex laughed and Willie gave him a playful shove before Alex pulled him back onto his tiptoes.

“It’s about time.” Reggie whispered as he Luke and Julie peeked around the door and watched their friend.

“Luke,” He stood up straight and held out his hand.

Luke groaned and fished for his wallet in his pockets, handing him a $20 bill.

“Thank you.” Reggie said smugly, pocketing the cash.

Julie laughed and shook her head at her friends and they all made their way back to their respective instruments. Julie pulled out her phone.

Flynn: did he do it??

Julie: yup. reggie’s $20 richer

Flynn: about time!! took those fools long enough, geez

Julie: really tho

Alex walked back into the studio a blushing smiley mess and sat at his drums again, not saying a word despite his friends staring at him expectantly.

He scanned their faces from his seat behind his drums.

“From the top?”

———

———

a/n: let it be known that reggie used that $20 to buy a fish and he named it Gil and he is the best fish dad ever

[smp-live]

Was scrolling through c!Wilbur crit blogs again and it got me thinking about why exactly I argue in favour of him so much so here’s a random ramble (that got long) about it:

Most c!Wilbur critics (at least, in the tag, not directly post-lore stream. The ones that do actual analysis on him) are like... really reasonable about it, actually, lmao. Like it’s mostly just calling him a bad person because of power hunger/manipulation/being a bad dad/whatever else. (Not talking about antis. I mean people who are really critical of him, but recognize that he’s a well-crafted character with nuance.)

Which I agree with! I consider myself an apologist, my writing and analysis leans really sympathetic, and I still agree that he’s a shitty rat bastard that I would run far away from irl. Even at the beginning of the story, he’s very morally grey, sometimes using underhanded persuasion tactics, doing ehh things like stealing, and it only gets worse from there.

But on the other hand, he’s... not that bad. Like I saw one person say about c!Dream, “My reaction to most critique of him is... so what?” and that’s how I feel about c!Wilbur, I suppose. Yeah, he tried to rig an election - but it was a last-ditch effort at not going full dictator, he didn’t follow through, and later on he - in part - decided to blow it up because they couldn’t get it back while being democratic. And yeah, he manipulated people - all in all, it wasn’t really really bad things, mostly to paint himself in a better light because of his insecurities, and people sometimes fall into manipulative language without even outwardly realizing that it’s a shitty thing to do. Of course, that shows a bigger underlying problem in their mindset and the way they interpret relationships and possession, but then that’s a different discussion - and definitely one that applies to c!Wilbur.

(Not saying he doesn’t ever intentionally manipulate people. I think that a. sometimes it might be accidental, (”If you wanna be President you’re gonna have to get on my good side,” mans was Not thinking straight,) and b. other times he falls into old habits/coping mechanisms that happen to be manipulation, (Tommy at Las Nevadas.) Other than the election and maybe some times in the early founding of L’Manberg, I can’t think of any moments where I’m like, “Yeah, he is Purposefully Manipulating here.” And even then, it just doesn’t strike me as a terrible thing. People manipulate, it’s a thing they do. That’s it. A morally grey action.)

And I think the majority of the reason I make more posts painting him in a positive light and don’t really discuss my critique of him is because it feels like the fandom has an overwhelming bias of hatred/crit, even if a lot of that isn’t, y’know, proper analysis of his character. I instinctively want to balance it out for this character I love/relate to, because a lot of what I see straight-up ignores the lighter side of his moral-greyness.

Like, a while back, I posted a couple clips from late-election arc, of Wilbur talking about how he feels about Fundy siding with Quackity and against him. And the way I initially saw it while watching was, “Okay. He feels betrayed by his son who disagrees with his politics - and thus, him as a person, because your politics are a reflection of your identity, especially in Wilbur’s mind - and it’s perfectly understandable that he’d want to vent about that in private to a close friend. On the other hand, he should be able to recognize that Fundy’s allowed to be his own person and shouldn’t be babied. Fundy is in the right, here, but Wilbur’s feelings shouldn’t be dismissed.”

But then 90% of the tags were just straight-up hate for c!Wilbur, going as far as to say that he should die again. (And this was after we found out how bad the afterlife was for him.) That fucking floored me. I just couldn’t understand how they took this nuanced character aching for ‘the son he knew’ back (hm. very similar to c!Phil, actually) and turned it into ‘wow. This suicidal man sucks and should maybe die.’ I was so close to making a post defending him before realizing - I was letting fandom bias against a character push me further onto the sympathetic side.

And that’s such a fuckin’ weird thing to have happen, because you’d think that exposure to negativity about a character would make you feel more negative about them? But without fail, every time I scroll through the crit tag, or read a critical post about c!Wilbur/L’Manberg, I maybe lean a bit more towards that side for a few hours before swinging back hard onto the apologist side. Because a lot of the critique, to me, is really just, “so what?” after I let it stew a bit.

Then there’s the whole mental health issue. Obviously it doesn’t excuse the shit he did - I know people who have been in the middle of breakdowns and the stuff they say still fucking hurts, even if they didn’t truly mean it. But recognizing that he needs help? That for pretty much all his time on-screen, he was depressed and paranoid, which obviously affects the way he acts? That’s obvious. And were he in the position to get professional help - which he deserves - everything would be much better off. That’s the root of my apologism, I think: He deserves to get better. He’s not inherently evil, or bad, just a fucked up little man who’s ruined his own life and needs help. I want to see him, specifically him, get better.

Narratively, his punishment has been extreme and disproportionate. Every mistake, every choice - good or bad - has led to suffering, on his part. Start a fun little rebellion, maybe to gain some power? War and betrayal. Declare an election to consolidate said power? Lose, and get exiled. Blow up a nation? Die, and even in the afterlife, he can't catch a break. Purely as a sympathetic human, it feels like he deserves to rest. Deserves to heal.

But even medicated and less anxious, or going to therapy for his neuroticism and depression, or whatever, he still would be quite morally grey. A lot of his manipulation, his power hunger, comes from this neuroticism; from needing to feel safe and needed, (just like Quackity.) Not all of it, though. He’d still have his unhealthy ideals about relationships and possession, for example. Less prominent, sure, but still there. Some people, I feel, discount how tied up with his mental illness it is, while others don’t really recognize that it’s also a personality problem. Like, changing those beliefs is changing part of who he fundamentally is, as a person.

Actually, I think the c!Wilbur apologist community, in general, tends to scapegoat his mental illness a little too much? Not in that we explain his actions with it or ask people not to villainize it, (although sometimes I feel that what we call villainizing mental illness is a bit excessive, but it’s not my place to talk about that as someone who doesn’t really relate to Pogtopia!Wilbur,) but in that we use it in discussions a lot. Which is fair, because it permeates every single aspect of his character, but even without it he’d have toxic traits? Like his possessiveness is not purely a byproduct of his mental illness, imo. Nor is his treatment of Fundy. It’s amplified by it, surely, but that little seed of it is there in the first place. Just as c!Dream’s abuse needs to be addressed as a central part of his character, c!Wilbur’s possessiveness does too - and also outside of the context of their mental health, because they’re both brought on by an internal personality flaw, some fucked-up belief, if that makes sense.

As I said before: c!Wilbur is a mess of a human being that I would hate if I actually met. (irl I would’ve been a SWAG supporter, based on policies, but since this is fiction, I was POG.) But because he’s a character, that flies out the window, and I can love him - not even just as a character, in the sense that I appreciate he’s well-crafted, but in terms of personality and all that shit, while recognizing he’s a kinda crappy guy. Because he’s a character. That’s the fun of it.

[jidai]

jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation

Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.

The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao. 

Happy New Years, everyone!

@25th​​, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do. 

I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️

@biscuitwalk​, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.

We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3

@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3

And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--

@lockhvrts​​, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!

@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN.  I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart. 

While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was  so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe

Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️

@noxdivina​, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.

Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3

anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:

i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks  🧍‍♀️

(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)

@rokuseis​, Sei, the Dumber.

i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL

BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.

I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3

@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee. 

Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao

@zenien​​, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao. 

You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what-- 

Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.

[lavenderek]

So you're saying you don't think "underage" fic is gross. Is that what youre saying?

well, no. yuck. what i’m saying is, what exactly and specifically do we want to happen?

there should not be explicit fic about underage characters, got it. so what age can they not be under? 18? 16? what country’s laws regarding the age of consent do we prioritize? like, i think it’s gross that the age of consent is 16 in some places, but i’m an american, so i would, wouldn’t i? so ok, what if we hedged it a bit and put the age as like, 14? that way it’s not little kids, it’s all teenagers. but no, gross, 14-year-olds are children. fun fact: so are 16-year-olds. they are also children.

what about fic about two teenagers having a consensual encounter? should all romantic or sexual fic have to be about adults only? your answer to this may very well be “yes,” and that’s completely valid. a teenager writing fic might disagree. somebody who’s a big fan of a show that’s about a bunch of teenagers might disagree. should there be an adults-only section on the site? there’s already a “stop, you have to be 18″ box to check before you can access explicit fic, so how do we verify a user’s age? they can just lie about their age and click through anyway. you have to be 18 to make a youtube account and i’ve had one since i was 13. i remember very deliberately choosing a new birth year when it asked for my birthdate.

then you get to slightly greyer areas like large age gaps, or heavy role play between consenting adults. i have absolutely witnessed fic that’s clearly written to be CP, but it’s tagged as age play. so like, for all intents and purposes this is CP, but if you roll in like “hey, this is fucked up,” they can be like, “oh, so you read this picturing actual children, sicko?? you have a problem with two adults doing shit in the bedroom??? how dare you!!! don’t like don’t read!!!”

it’s kind of like on porn sites, how they make like nasty inc*st stuff but call it “stepmom” or whatever, like oh, they’re not actually related! sure, joseph, thanks for covering all your bases

so we can’t ban kinks. or can we? should we limit depictions of serious addictions or domestic abuse too? torture, or even body horror? these are generally accepted to be dark content.

i’m not trying to engage in whataboutism, i’m naming actual, relevant questions about shit that’s disturbing in real life (no offense to kink people who follow codes of consent and conduct) and can be incredibly upsetting to encounter online. shit that i can’t imagine wanting to read, let alone write.

these are the questions that we, you, i, people pro-a*3 and people anti-a*3, are all asking, and not a single one of us can or should answer them unilaterally.

so it’s like, oh, okay, so there should be no oversight at all? should there be no rules? no, obviously, that would be horrible, i don’t trust any of these fuckers to conduct themselves civilly. so there should be some rules, but not too many rules. that’s what we have now, and clearly the way things are now isn’t working because a lot of users are reasonably very upset.

should there be a voting system, and rules are set by a popular vote? should certain words be flagged and you can’t post the fic with that word in it? should there be a thing where when you post a fic, you have to select the ages of each character and that’s listed at the top of the fic? what if they age during the fic? should there be a flagging function, where you report someone for not using sufficient tags? users will find workarounds for all of this. you know they will. so mods will have to be very specific about the rules and introduce, like, a vetting system for it. which is a lot more manpower and a lot more chances for subjective judgments.

all of the above is why it operates on a tagging system instead. i’m gonna be real, i only go on a*3 to read comments on my own shit lmao, and even when i did go on there more often i never went in the tags searching for fic. so is there a blacklist function? is there a flagging function?

if there is a flagging function, maybe they make it so that if the flagged user has violated the rules, their account is suspended and their fic made private for the duration and until they add necessary tags.

cool, a compromise. but uh-oh, it turns out Mod A agrees that this fic is n*ncon, but Mod B thinks it’s just vague, not n*nconsensual, and doesn’t feel comfortable banning the fic. or it turns out User didn’t post anything flaggable, they were reported by somebody who is targeting them for some reason, or by someone who is more stringent about n*ncon than somebody else would be, like, it’s gotta be enthusiastic and verbal consent or else it’s skirting the edges too much.

it’s like, we’ve already witnessed censorship (please take this word usage gently, i know it’s touchy but it’s the word to use here) being a problem here on tumblr with their stupid nipple ban. there’s a double standard regarding whose nipples are explicit and whose are kosher for public consumption. people have to appeal their shit getting flagged and sometimes nothing gets fixed regardless. i’m sure other people are pleased that there’s less of a chance of them accidentally scrolling past a picture of a hard dick at work.

so you get it, this is a problem that’s more complicated than “all of x should be banned and if you post it there’s something wrong with you,” a belief you’re more than entitled to hold but can’t base, like, fanfic legislation off of. you get it you get it.

you get it, but like, what is the fucking deal with those “fandom moms” who go off on soliloquies about the days of old or whatever the fuck whenever this topic comes up? what about the weirdos who are like, “what’s next, banning gay fic????” yeah, if we allow gay marriage you can marry a tree, that’s how it works, thanks tiffany.

but no, the reason they do this is NOT that they think lgbtq content is comparable in any way to CP. the reason they do this is that this exact problem has taken place on every site that has ever hosted fic. and many previous sites did think lgbtq content was comparable to CP. it was categorized as adult content and hidden.

that’s why a*3 exists in the first place. it was to avoid godmodding and absolutism. it’s supposed to be more or less self-governed. i don’t want there to be CP on a*3 any more than you do, but i also don’t trust randos to decide what is and isn’t acceptable content. this topic is not new.

i’m in support of stronger government regulation in real life because it can be argued that certain actions and systems violate human rights. everybody deserves food and shelter, for example. the same can’t be argued in this case because some creep writing CP doesn’t violate my rights. i find it offensive and i don’t think they should be writing it, but my right to click the back button is intact. there is no institution making it impossible or even difficult for me to not read fanfiction. the creep could just as reasonably argue that their right to post what they want is being affected.

why is this response so long? is it because i can’t shut up? yes, but also because this is a complex issue and that’s why nobody has taken significant action on it.

people are also big mad.

i’ve never understood this impulse to see somebody not doing a thing you want them to do and assume it’s out of malice or incompetence, anyway. i don’t know anybody who volunteers for a*3 but it’s my assumption that given the choice to have us all pissed at them, or have us all not pissed at them, they would choose to have us not be pissed at them. it just seems like the reasonable reaction to have. and like, i’d be pretty shocked to part the kimono and find out they’re all CP-loving gargoyles and a*3 actually stands for A lot Of child abus3. that is the reason i have not been like, “fuck a*3.” because what are they supposed to do, you know?

there’s no simple or inarguably morally right solution here. the princess is in another castle. just post fic on tumblr, i guess? make another hosting site that’s exactly like a*3 but romantic characters can only be like, 21?

i actually think the legal age in the US should be raised to 21, not joking. your brain literally and biologically isn’t finished developing at 18. teenagers lack the world experience to make decisions that adults make.

somewhere there is an 18-year-old or a person who moved out and became self sufficient at 18 who hates this sentiment. there’s a teenager in an abusive home who would be intensely demoralized by the prospect of having to remain beholden to these people for three more years.

and there’s a parent who is relieved to know that their kid can’t be preyed on by army recruiters for three more years. there’s a person who got into a car crash with a teenager who misjudged whether or not they could make a turn who’s like, yeah, she could probably have benefited from a few more years.

nothing is as simple as it should be. i agree with you, but i’m not willing to pass blanket judgments with regards to actions that should be taken. and honestly, given how little i actually go on the site, i don’t even have a dog in this fight. so all my opinions on it are moot anyway.

(side note, if you are in an abusive home and you can’t make your own bank account, or if your bank account is monitored by your abusive parents, maybe try venmo? you can get a debit card that pulls directly from your venmo balance. a surprising number of places accept venmo payments, and this way you can save up money in secret.)

anyway uhhhhh seeya

[unordinary-analysis]

Episode 166

Honorable mentions:

I always love seeing a student with John’s old ‘loser’/helmet hair lmao it makes me happy

For the first time ever, when I say ‘Remi, pop off queen’ you know I actually mean it lol

Tldr: the high-tiers (can’t really call them “royals” anymore can we) establish themselves and prove their worths as paragons (perfect examples) of what royals should be and i applaud them for it

The amount of joker masks that the superhero posse brought in has to be representation of their power. Isen, the lowest-ranking of the superhero posse brought 1, Remi brought 3, and Blyke brought 3. You might be thinking ‘hey remi is more powerful than blyke’ but we know that he’s been working hard recently and because he only has one more mask than Remi, i think this idea is plausible. so let me believe that blyke is more powerful than remi please.

Nothing to really say about Isen except that he needs a hug

Going to ignore that remi listed cecile as someone she wanted to recruit help from because i would just get my hopes up

Only occured to me now that i could pull off a John and Rei comparison especially after reflecting over episode 150

Arlo and seraphina give off such close vibes and it’s obviously because they got close (or at least intensely familiar) when they were the king and queen and i just- i absolutely love when plots or characters go full circle and reflect (revisit?) the start of the story even though that sounds anti-development, it’s not im just bad at explanations.

WHAT I WOULD GIVE FOR CECILE TO BACKSTAB JOHN not that i don’t like john because i absolutely aDORE him because of his impact on the story, but i just want to see Cecile backstab someone and john is convient

just me talking for a bit, scroll if you want to skip to the actual content i understand ;( :

Okay: so.

I’ve figured out that instead of putting little talkative comments in the honorable mentions like I’ve been doing lately, I can put them here and not feel like total trash and that I’m downgrading the post so that’s fun.

Anyway, sorry if the massive ton of parentheses(?spelling) i'm using is confusing or hard to read. I mean, I won’t fix it, but I hope it’s not too bad ya know

Again: sorry for talking like im texting someone in 2017 it’s an issue, im aware. No one ever says anything, but yeah?? Im sorry???

Im panic-writing this an hour before the new episode drops so hopefully this is up before then, there’s no real hope though it takes me 10 minutes just to transfer this from my google doc to tumblr because i have to manually re-add all of the bold and italics and bullet points. Still not removing this bit tho even if (lmao “if”) it’s late ;)

Talking too much, but whenever you see (?”spelling/grammar/word choice/etc”), that just means that I messed up in that way, but I’m too distracted to fix it. Figured i should say that eventually seeing as i literally do that every post

Next post will not be written in first person at all because i think it makes these feel way too familiar and makes new readers uncomfortable which is stupid but is how i would feel so we’re experimenting. If you’ve never read one of my posts, i just act very informal with everything i do and i just want to say, i'm not in this tightly knit niche group that reads these and that ive been friends with for years. i just. Talk like this. So don’t feel like you’re eavesdropping by reading one of these. I really hope im not an outlier in feeling this way when reading other peoples post because if nobody actually feels this way, im bout to be real embarrased oops.

Im getting the talking out of my system because no talking next post.

Yeah this post is late. But: i stopped for pizza in the middle and my webtoon isn’t loading so im like sitting around waiting for it to

Remi:

    Now, in this episode particularly, it has occurred to me that I need to give Remi credit where credit is due. I made a post (AN: multiple posts but we’ll ignore that) over a year ago talking about her abilities as queen and- I did her pretty dirty. Not unfairly, but dirty. I basically dissed her a lot and said that she wasn’t a good queen in any sense. And I’ve done this multiple times (AN: ignore last AN) because I can remember at least 2 other times when I just berated Remi over and over for being shit queen.

    I’m not going to disagree with myself in this post (because I didn’t lie), but I want to give her some credit because I do believe she has changed recently and it has affected how I view her as a position of royalty. And, yes, while it is unclear if she is currently technically still a royal, what with John having somehow destroyed the entire concept of Wellston having royals (?), she has been taking the actions and responsibilities that a royal would. So-

    What made me want to write this out was in this episode, episode 166, I really realized/noticed her attitude and actions dealing with and revolving around this whole joker situation (currently more about the fake jokers) was?? Actually productive?? To explain: In this episode, we see Remi approaching a group of low-tiers who are worriedly talking about the joker situation and 1. Analyzes the conversation in reference to the measures she, Blyke, and Isen are taking to prevent the situation, 2. Reassures the low-tiers that qualified help (her, Blyke, and Isen [aka the superhero posse]) is doing the best they can, and 3. Asks if they have any suggestions or ideas that might help them attain their goal. Like?? Hello?? The Professionalism? And the way she didn’t let her disappointment that her previous efforts up until now affect her is a stark contrast from the Remi of the past. I’ve ripped her apart because of just how often her emotions would completely overwhelm any sense she had. So: that stood out. But, anyway, big picture again: This whole short little scene from her was so impressive?

    Honestly, the fact that Remi is going through all this effort to stop the fake jokers and make sure the low-tiers are safe is very different than what we would’ve seen from her in the past. One of the common reasons that I kept saying Remi was a bad queen was because she didn’t care about her responsibilities and didn’t take her authority seriously. There are even examples of Arlo, or others, telling her this (the example that came to my mind was when Remi was warning students about EMBER and Arlo stepped in [and the reason behind the events of this example helps to support my next point] {ALSO (sorry) afternote: I was reading through everything I’ve ever said about Remi’s leadership and I used this exact example in my post “Remi” from just over a year ago}). Another reason that I was against Remi as queen, which ties nicely with the previous reason (this sounds like repetition of like two seconds ago when I said that my last reason would support this point, but it’s not because words), was that she prioritized personal missions over things her school needed her to do. I remember being very pissed around episodes 110-120 because she ignored the big conflicts happening at Wellston in order to track down this separate crime organization (EMBER) and took Blyke and Isen with her (royals)(who were both against the idea). And I know that her reason for doing this is valid and I do respect her for attempting to avenge her brother, and I would have let this slide if she gave one thought or listened to Isen and Blyke at all about Wellston. I know this still sounds bad on my part, but it was many instances stacked on top of each other of Remi being, not just unconcerned, but unknowing, about Wellston’s current state as a school. At that time, Remi was the queen, she was one of the school’s royals, whose job was to maintain order and peace within the school. I couldn’t see any instances of Remi even attempting to do that. That was in the past though, because obviously, things are different now, like I said. Currently, Remi has gone out of her way to dedicate herself to the wellbeing of Wellston, that is obvious in the way she has been talking with low-tiers and unmasking fake Jokers. I only hope that her new motivation isn’t just a phase brought upon her due to her personal relationship/conflict with Joker, with John. I want to know if John ever happens to be dethroned or Remi somehow gets her technical authority back, will she still be dedicated to the school, or is her motive purely situational? I hope not? Because we’ve seen lots of change from her recently what with learning of the low-tiers mistreatment and all, so let’s cross our fingers.

    Regardless, there has been improvement in Remi. In her leadership and dedication. And that needs to be acknowledged. So I am doing it. Yeah. Here you go. Badge of honor for Remi.

    Obviously, most of what I’ve said also applies to Isen and Blyke, who are honestly going above and beyond (especially Blyke), just this section is a response to my previous statements of how Remi is not a good queen, not only for Wellston, just in general. And, again, while I still agree with my evaluation of Remi as a queen in reference to her past self and past episodes, This is a new development I felt obligated to talk about. :).

Blyke’s idea (?word choice confuses me):

Wowee this is a fun one. So: Blyke broke up a fake joker fight in a hallway this episode, and i just have to acknowledge this like I did for remi: props, but anyway, I was very intrigued by the way he handled the damage control like?? He refuses for the fake joker to be unmasked (?grammar) and gives the reason, “I’m not about to show his face so that you all can just gang up on him later!” And: applause. I think that this has occurred to me before, I just never dwelled on that idea, so I was taken off guard by this from Blyke. He was able to understand this and form a plan with how to deal with it? I don’t know about you, but that screams king behavior. Anyway, what Blyke does is take the fake joker to a separate room and unmasks him privately then talks with him as a way to both protect the fake joker’s safety and discourage him from any future stunts like the one he pulled a sec ago. And?? This is so great because, guys, this is liTERALLY the concept of like anger management and behavior therapy?? 

I especially liked how Blyke took the time to hear the low-tier out(something that the high-tiers are really starting to do [technically because of john because john became joker and caused all of this {and since john wanted to destroy the hierarchy because high-tiers didn’t give a shit about the low-tiers in a way he’s achieved his goal, albeit unknowingly}]). And, like i literally just said, by hearing him out, he’s creating yet another bubble of safety around the low-tier because immediately after (okay maybe not immediately, blyke did scold him a bit), Blyke says that whenever the low-tier is being picked on, he can come to Blyke. And NOT ONLY does this whole thing help with the fake jokers issue, but Blyke, along with Isen and Remi, are creating trust and respect between the low-tiers and high-tiers. This is them doing the hierarchy right! They are establishing themselves as leaders and as people that can be relied upon, which is exactly who the royals are supposed to be.

Just want to say: He also talked about how the guy who got attacked should also reflect on his actions, and yes, this deserves recognition, but this has been a common theme, so I didn’t think it was worth really discussing. Blyke got bonus points for this. Extra credit if you will.

    Remi’s idea:

    Back to Remi, but her idea about recruiting John to help get rid of the Jokers? Excuse me? The innovation, the growth, the potential. And, I know this was shut down pretty quickly by Blyke, but I still have to talk about it??? And this section is starting off horribly because there was absolutely no transition or introduction but hello?? 

    Anyway, obviously the fact that Remi would even suggest getting any help from John (Joker) is astonishing. 1. He literally beat up everyone present in the scene 2. Honestly from what john’s doing for all anyone knows, he likes that low-tiers are faking being joker (remi even points this out lmao) 3. Again, he beat everyone up? Not exactly looking good for any kind of compromise. And yet despite these obvious reasons, Remi still lists him as a possible ally. Why?

    Because when she met up with him before he completely dethroned the Wellston hierarchy, she noticed similarities in their goals and their beliefs. She says, and quotation marks mean quote, “When I spoke with him… I really thought both of us wanted the same thing… Just that our methods of approaching the situation were different.” !!!!!!! Remi knows that they really want the same thing: a safe environment for low-tiers. That was the one thing that John kept repeating over and over when they met up and talked (episode 150) (other than the fact that royals are shit but-): he wanted to create a school environment that was safe for the low-tiers. Whether or not that’s his goal now, or if he’s acting with that goal in mind, Remi obviously remembered this the most from their conversation because it seemed so similar to the way she was thinking. And Remi thinks that it would be possible that John would prioritize this over his dedication to his own personal project of destroying the school :).

    Anyway, this whole idea is scrapped by Isen and Blyke who give valid arguments as to why trying to ally with John is a really bad idea, but oh my god the way my heart stopped.

    This section is basically a summary and very quick, but this scene in the comic was riveting because of this. I just don’t know what else to say.

[burnedbyshoto]

Oooooooooooof, I love this show so much just please people, talk about something other than the ships, that's so much of the fandom, like have your fun and all but omg there's more to this show then the two boys you wanna watch fuck (which seems so creepy lmao). Them people that claim to have evidence just please calm down, friends are a thing.

ahem. I am no longer drunk, and will now be answering to this.

to be honest, it sort of confused me when this came into my askbox when I was sober. I looked at this and was plain and simply thinking “I clearly ship myself with these characters, and my oc which I have yet to introduce to y’all”.

honestly, because of shipping wars i’m hesitant to reveal who I ship to you all, as I don’t want to have to defend myself. I don’t want to be forced to feel like the only way to get around some of the toxic fans if through a bloody fist fight:

 so, let’s talk about shipping culture within mainstream media and fandoms *disclaimer: none of the ships I have included in the following I will neither confirm nor deny if I ship. please do not ask me about my ships until I am ready to reveal such.*

I will agree with you, and also disagree with you. 

where I agree with you is about this entire toxic shipper trait that runs within many and nearly all fandoms. every single fandom I was apart of prior to bnha have all experience shipping wars. hell, I am a veteran on the naruto fandom war. I was heavily invested into the fandom circa months before and up until it ended. I was a major and hardcore naruhina shipper. please if you’re a narusasu, narusaku, kibahina, sasuhina, whatever, do not come to me expressing why my feelings towards them are wrong. simply I am sick and tired of shipping wars.

they are by far the worst things about shipping and fandoms. I took a class on ethics and morals, and one of the biggest get aways I took from it was this: never say that people are allowed to have their own opinion. thats how we get nazi’s. so lets view this in… a utilitarian viewpoint. say, for example, if I shipped bakudeku. they make me happy. the amazing content creators that stretch from drawers, writers, and filmmakers are amazing. they all make me happy. thats great! we love that! now my one friend who does not ship tododeku, but instead ships bakudeku. what should I do?

a. scoff, they’re wrong! TODODEKU OR BUST!!!!

b. smile awkwardly, nod your head, and ask “why?” full of judgment

c. literally gag as you shake your head. this friendship is so over.

d. pull out my 1000 slide powerpoint on all the damning evidence as to why tododeku is the best ship, and a 17205879268276048529 slide powerpoint as to why bakudeku is actually a super toxic ship, and how dare you like that ship? “do you support abusive relationships?” you ask, your upper lip curling at your best friend.

what is your choice? thats correct, the correct choice is option E. NONE OF THE FUCKING ABOVE. in which case is this making you happy? your friend has their own interpretation of the damn text, as do you clearly so do or else we would all be shipping the same thing. as long as it clearly does not interfere with deemed normal guidelines, why do you care so much? 

we can all agree we love these characters or else you wouldn’t be in these fandoms, and maybe youre one of those people who are only here for two characters interactions. but how in the damn world is shoving down someones feeling nice? there you are talking about love between two characters and shit over someone elses. what you should do is nod your head, respect what they damn ship, and go ahead and share your own ships! but you know what you should NEVER do???? bash another ship.

stop trying to find someone to fight. no I don’t care about who started it! just stop! there, especially on tumblr, many older fans. im sure we’ve all seen our fair share of ships wars, and its fantastic to be passionate about your ship, definitely don’t stop!!!! but if you’re constantly fighting others over it and bringing another ship to raise up your own…. just leave the fandom. I dont want to see you on the tags ever. i want to see art, writings, and theories, and fun things. I don’t want a 20 paragraph essay on why shigaraki and izuku will be married and why you’re a fucking idiot with a phat #antimomodeku in the tag. keep your ideas to yourself, stop looking for a reaction from rival ships. come on guys….. we know who is endgame for some of these bigger ships, don’t play dumb. but im not going to shame you. judge, or scoff when you continue passionately shipping your ship. go ahead!!! do it!!!! its FUN!!!!! the only ship im open about is momojirou which I know has like 2% chance of being canon, but you don’t see me slamming todomomo/kamijirou shippers.

believe what you want, but your evidence should stay within your own tag. don’t let it bled over. and for the love of god, tag properly and stop looking through ship tags you don’t like just to pick a fight.

where I disagree with you:

people are going to always ship things. we’re human and automatically force social relations between things. it’s a weird psychological thing that many, not all, but many of us have. it’s especially prominent when the main cast is not evenly mixed in terms of representation. this is why male x male ships are so prominent. it’s because the only female main character is uraraka. no one else really is a main character. I love my girl momo, yall know that, but shes not a main character just because she had a mental breakdown during final exams and is super rich smart and pretty. it’s just us being gay. she’s not as important of a character and it annoys me. 

I think people talk about their ships because it makes them happy, and if it’s something that truly annoys you i say you have to keep scrolling, or maybe move to something like reddit, the fandom there is strictly business, no shipping on the general tag. tumblr is a content place and works with tagging, so things involving ships is prominent because this site makes is…. easier…. not really, but easier. so you’ll come across ships because everyone uses the #bnha and #mha tag on their things! on reddit is very much more controlled.

[orangeeu]

A GUIDE TO TOO’S CHAN

Heya! Here’s my essay about why you should stAN TOO’S CHAN!

SO! I recently stanned TOO because of their legendary Rising Sun cover in Road to Kingdom and because of the man, the myth, the legend… CHO CHANHYUK! Yeah, if you watched the performance already you may know who I’m talking about, but in case you don’t or you just didn’t bother to instigate in some intense kpop boy stalking (but why wouldn’t you?), I’ve made a guide for y’all!!

//Ahem A GUIDE TO TOO’S CHAN / CHANHYUK!

(Oh, and btw, no, I didn’t just copy and paste this from kprofiles.com - I added some extra facts and actual, CONCRETE reasons as to why you should stan him!!!) 

‘KAY, ONTO THE GUIDE!!

[BASIC INFO aka boring (but important) stuff lol]

Stage name: Chan 

Birth Name: Cho Chan Hyuk

Position: Main Dancer, Rapper, Producer

Birthday: December 8th, 1999

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Height: 180 cm (5’11”)

Blood Type: O

Nationality: Korean

Element: Fire

YAY! BORING STUFF OVER!! Now here’s some insight on some Chan only tingz~~ 

[FUN FACTS]

He ranked 2nd place on the survival show that TOO was formed from called, To Be World Klass (DESERVED)

He has an older sister

Introduces himself as being “all-rounded” WHICH IS TOTALLY TRUE! He can rap, dance AND produce!!! 

Motto: “Let’s move smartly”

He is a former SM Entertainment trainee

He dropped out of high school

HE HAS A TATTOO ON HIS LEFT FOREARM AND BACK!! It’s hard to see them but alas! I’ve found a Twitter thread exposing his rad tats!: https://twitter.com/CHANHYUCKlE/status/1264654817261125632 From what I can observe, the one on his forearm is of a whale and flowers, and the one on his back is of flowers?? (He even once said that he hopes to get another tattoo on his waist!! YES PLEASE SIR)

He is left-handed 

He and Chihoon are producers/rappers for the dance group CUROHAKO. They actually have a Youtube channel and Chan is in two of their videos!!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uhq2pJA6oQ  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgTT4bBGI78 

His favorite colour is black 

His favorite emoji is the fox emoji 

His favorite food is sushi

His favorite movie is called ‘About Time’

He can freaking guess pizza by its scent!! This was so cute tho, please watch it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZHi8aNDTuc 

He ripped his pants during a stage but said he was fine with it as long as it’ll get his group views LMAO 

His dancer name is K!ZAROO (but I don’t know if he still goes by it)

His Myers-Briggs personality type is ENTJ (extoverted, intuitive, thinking, judging); natural leaders brimming with confidence and charisma. They’re determined when faced with challenges and thinks strategically in order to achieve their goals. You can read more about his MBTI here!: https://www.16personalities.com/entj-personality 

Part of the self-proclaimed, “sexies” sub-unit consisting of him and Chihoon

He was chosen as the most fashionable member in the group 

He used to have a lip piercing (I don’t know if it’s closed up by now or not)

He hates fluorescent lighting

AYE-- I wish I had more, but that’s all the facts I’ve found about him so far! I’ll update this in the future once TOO ages like fine wine..!

Here are scientific reasons as to why you should stan him!!

[WHY YOU SHOULD STAN]

IDOL TRAITS (why you should stan him as an IDOL):

1. DANCE

His dancing! He’s not the main dancer for nothing! His movements are smooth and natural yet aggressive and passionate..! His strongest point is free styling!  Whenever he free styles, you can tell that he’s simply vibing and embracing his element. It’s obvious that he really loves dancing and that he practices a lot.

People say that he’s similar to NCT’s Taeyong or that he’s “the next Taeyong” but I couldn’t disagree more.. Chan is his own individual with a distinct and unique dancing style. He’s NOT “the next Taeyong”, he’s Cho Chanhyuk! 

Sorry, I just get a bit annoyed when people say things like that.. Anywho, here are some videos of Chan being a dancing legend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLBYBAT1gGg 

https://youtu.be/TWiyBUBL3A0 

https://twitter.com/chanhyuckie/status/1265174013032034306

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZdxA2kewsg 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8Eg6AuiNxc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TIR0W0YPLc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QrJ3cCBuzA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GFU0f5xKPs 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CdHHqH51gg

https://twitter.com/i/status/1272322590854590465

WATCH THIS ONE ESPECIALLY!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnx8pmtUwWo                                     

2. RAP

Tough tone that’s got its own colour! Also really good at free styling his rap! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o72hX8R28fo 

Chan’s free verse and him bopping with Lil Pump and the bois.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-elXeK0qYf8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lEetiEqvDI

3. PRODUCE

HE.PRODUCES.HIS.OWN.DAMN.SONGS!! It’s actually very difficult to produce music as it takes a lot of patience, knowledge and creativity! Pretty sick beats with more rad raps! Here’s his soundcloud!

https://soundcloud.com/canigetyourchan

Hope he releases the rest of his works!

4. CHARISMA

A born performer! He never fails to give me goosebumps!! Chan is just mesmerizing when performing, he’s like a magnet.. It’s hard to lose sight of him on stage because he stands out so much! He’s an expert with facial expressions and consistently makes sure to fully immerse himself into the performance; it’s his expression of self which makes him shine so brightly on stage. 

PERSONAL TRAITS (why you should stan him as a PERSON:

1. PERFECTIONIST

A visionary and true tireless idealist. For most people, being a perfectionist isn’t an ideal trait, yet I still find myself respecting Chan for being one. He’s critical when it comes to creating the perfect performance and works really hard to achieve results which reaches his (high) standards. I think that’s pretty admirable - the fact that he puts his blood, sweat and tears to put on not only a good show, but one that exceeds standards for our sake, his own sake and the rest of TOO’s sake. 

2. PASSION

I think that the thing that I adore about him the most is his passion. As I mentioned before, he absolutely loves dancing. It’s refreshing to visibly see an idol enjoy themselves on stage. Chan doesn’t just perform, he lives. When he’s performing, he loses himself in the thing that he loves doing the most and relishes the moment like there’s no tomorrow.

3. DETERMINATION

Even if Chan isn’t the official leader of TOO, his leadership qualities are quite prominent. He’s determined to reach his goals and get through challenges no matter what. Taking initiative, he leads the group in dance and assists others when they are struggling. This can be seen by observing World Klass clips of the boys practicing All You Need Is Love - when Chan noticed that Chihoon was having difficulty with the choreography he called him over and helped him with it. Another example is when they ranked last place in Road to Kingdom and Chan, motivated to do better and prove TOO’s capability of rising up the ranks, thoughtfully assisted in planning their performance and concept and rigorously practiced while leading the others. 

4. CREATIVITY

Idea bank! As an artist myself, I marvel at Chan’s creativity. The concepts and choreographies that he comes up with are astounding and prove to have super effective results! He actually came up with the Rising Sun concept in TOO’s Road to King performance. Because they watched the sun set from the rooftop, Chan was inspired to make their concept about them being rookies and rising in the music industry like the sun!! Say it with me: Chan swollen brain, Chan inflamed brain, chAN GINORMOUS BRAIN!!! 

Overall, Chan, despite his appearance of being intimidating, is actually a real sweet guy that smiles and laughs easily. He’s a soft boi (especially for Chihoon) and likes to initiate skin ship. Members actually stated that Chan likes to act cute and even refers to himself as ‘Chanhyukie’!! So please don’t be fooled by his cool guy demeanor, he’s a squish if you take a closer look..! 

Wow, that was a LOT of writing! That aside, here are some random Chan stuff!

[ MISCELLANEOUS] 

Predebut Chan pics: https://twitter.com/c12c8h__177o/status/1265420652011417601

PREDEBUT CHAN IN BOY STORY ASDFGK (if you squint you can find him in the crowd starting from around 2:48. He’s the one with the yellow hair and sunglasses): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klg8niUUjRQ

Cute clip from World Klass of Chan being all cuddly and cute with Kyungho!: https://twitter.com/i/status/1265176511146934273

Absolutely no context: https://twitter.com/CHANPlCS/status/1264522391008481280

E-BOY CHAN: https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6824848435217304837 https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6819342086857313542  https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6817551314097016069  https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6788981280240454918  https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6784186996119145733          https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6769724996559310086              https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6767461954127744262              

Saranghae saranghae saranghae Chan dance tutorial uwu: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9F4kQoaMljI

Chan humoring some fans: https://twitter.com/i/status/1249025324689453056 (scroll down below the first Tweet)

Chan English king: https://twitter.com/i/status/1251600155578494976

A cutie: https://twitter.com/i/status/1248594397056217088

Chan recommended this song! It’s pretty good so give it a listen!: https://open.spotify.com/track/7iooxPmnLY6wZynSplHUah?si=fBa5ppR0Qd-klOLa9tvnbA 

O-kay! I think that’s all the Chan content I have for now! Once again, I’ll update  this occasionally while on my journey with TOO! Don’t forget to stan Chan and TOO! Hope this has convinced you!! If it did, then please reblog this to spread exposure for Chan and TOO!

Before you go, please go watch their debut song Magnolia, thank you! Have a great day! 

(P.S., IF YOU FEEL LIKE THERE’S SOMETHING I SHOULD ADD OR CHANGE THEN DON’T HESITATE TO NOTIFY ME, THANKS!) 💖💖💖

[shattered-catalyst]

So this  isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this  because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it. 

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it. 

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period.  It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

 I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients.  During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.  

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*.  She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything. 

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry,  and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life. 

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning. 

 I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

 I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

 Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are. 

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’

[babiebryn]

@whostheworstwitch @nyanmarumori @lauurgasmic i have bpd and almost anything can make me split and impulsively say rude shit, but i’m gonna try to be really patient about all these random people feeling like they can’t just scroll past my post. i saw a post on instagram showing the video of Nonnie kissing Patty and then Patty immediately saying “Nonnie, I love you but not like that” and yes. i realize Nonnie is honestly gay, and we weren’t lied to about that, but. We were kind of shown all season that Nonnie was kind of making all these moves on Patty in sexual or flirtatious ways and she talked about it so much, and Patty went along with it so often, that it seemed like the writers had intentions of making them a couple at some point, and if you were to read my post on the break down of everything i PERSONALLY think is wrong with insatiable, you would see that i, as a queer person, looked at this show and hated it, but was tempted to buy into their shitty game of “watch this whole season and see if your only hope for a main gay couple comes true” and that’s what i mean when i talk about queer baiting,, i’m sure most queer people (especially colored and fat queer people) see Insatiable as unlikeable in many ways, and of course, the creators of the show know this is likely, so their solution was to make us poor starved queer people watch this show by throwing in a queer girl who makes moves on this straight girl to make it seem like they’d get together, only to let us down in the end. That. Is basic queer baiting. You don’t consider it queer baiting? i dont care. ignore my post. but i don’t need to be made fun of or laughed at or criticized because i see queer baiting in this show, not to mention all the other things that are wrong with it also:  @aconitumroot they did not deliver the queer relationship between Patty and Nonnie.... and also? why am i being bothered for disliking a show? “wow you’re really reaching to hate this show lmao” “jfc” dude, if you disagree just scroll away,, you don’t see me making angry comments on posts that shit on Hamilton even tho i like it,,,,,, also im not reaching to hate it,, the show was supposed to be about normalizing fat people but instead it normalizes eating disorders. if the show is so fat positive then why do i feel like i don’t want my fat friends and girlfriend seeing this tv show for fear of them feeling even worse about themselves than they already do? why are you so passionate about defending a show that says “skinny is magic”,,,,,

[jungblue]

rain is a really good song and it’s so underrated :(

agree! a lot of bts’ older songs with that vibe are underrated. that’s why i love ly her’s outro so much. that vibe gives me a lot of old school bts nostalgia

Anonymous said: Kale and mushroom and onions pizza? Some ppl don’t like just veggies on pizza but I think it’s delicious…😅

disagree ;;;; i’m a plain cheese pizza type of person lol

Anonymous said: 🗣📣BEING A FAN DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO OBSESS OVER, ALWAYS AND ONLY VOTE FOR, AND HAVE TO LIKE EVERY SINGLE THING RELATED TO A GROUP/PERSON. IF YOU LIKE THEM, THAT MEANS YOURE A FAN. NO MORE OR LESS THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE FANDOM. Thank you for comeing to my Ted talk

AGREEEEE. honestly the only time i ever really go on twitter is during comebacks just bc i like to keep up with stuff, but that’s also the worst time for manager fans. like i have 17 aneurysms scrolling through those tweets with warped ass views on what a fan is

Anonymous said: People need to stop being disrespectful to other idols. Like asking for another idol during something they’re obviously not around for. Like hobi’s vlives and stuff. If you’re going to stan a group, you need to be respectful and stan each member even if they aren’t your bias.

agreeee. that annoys tf out of me. if someone’s doing a vlive, stop asking for other members. let them talk about what they wanna talk about. also just in general stop asking about bts on other group’s vlives. it’s embarrassing, and definitely annoying for the group you’re spamming

Anonymous said: Hobi shouldn’t feel the need to be 110% excited all the time and be screaming... not everyone can be that high tension all the time and I feel really sorry for him bc i always think about when he said he feels he has to be like excited bc of his stage name..

agree! i wish he didn't feel the need to be upbeat all time just for the sake of others. you’re allowed to seem down or even just sit there neutrally. being the life of the party is definitely exhausting, and i hope he understands that it’s okay to just relax and take time to himself

Anonymous said: Idk if anybody here cares but you know when a band member (not Kpop necessarily) leaves the group and goes to make solo music? Like Camila Cabello left fifth harmony? I feel like the solo music is always better than the group music and idk if it’s because that person gets more creative opportunities or what.

i agree, though i think it depends on the type of music you’re into. often times when people go solo from groups, they all do wildly different genres. so it just depends on your taste i think ;;;; plus once you go solo you’ve been in the industry in a while and grown as a person, so that could also be a reason

Anonymous said: Unpopular opinion: Just because I like to read BTS smut every now and then, doesn’t mean I’m thirsty for them. I just like if the story has a good plot and great writing. Like yours!!!! 😊

i agree. usually i’m not reading a story for the smut specifically. i just want a story. though there are admittedly times when i am just in the mood for a raunchy smut lol

Anonymous said: a lot of people disagree but skinny-shaming is a thing? i always get shit for being flat and having really thin arms.

i agree that it definitely can be a thing. i mean i’ve heard people say insulting comments about people being too skinny. some people legitimately can’t help it. putting on weight is just difficult for them. it’s unfortunate that people’s bodies are always under scrutiny 

Anonymous said: bangtan’s fashion is really fuckin nice but sometimes they wear clothes that are soooo eccentric(?) i mean, they pull it off but any non-celebrity person would look so weird njsjkncs like hobi’s oversized balenciaga shirt lmao

lolol i agree. like i personally would never wear some of the stuff that they do, but hey it’s what they like so that’s all that matters

Anonymous said: Jungkooks undercut 🤤

i agree with and support all undercuts lol

Anonymous said: Jungkook with tattoos ❣ (on that note all of them should be allowed to do whatever they want to their body its not up to anyone to approve or disapprove 💪)

agree that they should be able to wear / do whatever they want to their bodies without other’s opinions dictating them. just let them be

Anonymous said: Yoongi looks better with a lil bit of chub in his face

agree. they all look better with chub. though i’m the type of person that literally never notices a difference in their weights. people are like oh [insert member] looks like they lost too much weight, and i’m like they look the exact same to me but alright lol. though i don’t like speculating on things like their weight in the first place. they’re adults and they can handle their health 

Anonymous said: I think shipping is okay but I doubt any of bts would ever really be in romantic relationships with each other simply bc it’s unprofessional and could cause problems for the group

i agree, but i think most people involved in shipping think this. that it’s not serious. it’s just for fun. but it’s like with anything. the delusional fans get the most attention compared to the normal fans that keep to themselves and don’t harass people

Anonymous said: bts’ military exemption shouldn’t even be considered. they special, but they ain’t that special. ☕️

i agree, but i did read the article that this is in reference to, and it wasn’t just about bts. it was about kpop artists not getting exemptions like classically trained musicians, and kdrama actors not getting exemptions like theater actors, ect. they just used bts as an example to get people to click on the article. military service is an important topic over there, so whatever they decide is their business. i’m not korean, so i don’t have an opinion really

these were the opinions i didn’t get to last night! thanks to everyone that participated!

[findingcasualmagic]

I’ve been wanting to make a post for a while about my frustrations with this place and I’ve finally got around to it. It isn’t something that needs to be read, just a way for me to vent my pent-up frustration and just get it all off my chest so I can move on with my life lmao.

I’ve taken a considerable step back from here recently just because I’m so fed up with it. I always thought that if anything was going to make me step away from tumblr it would have been what’s happening with canon robron but turns out it’s actually the fandom :)))))) this place is a fucking mess recently, it’s sucking all of the enjoyment out of the couple for me at the moment and it fucking sucks. This fandom was always such a wonderfully kind place where everyone could go and feel better about what was happening on screen by talking with each other and making everyone feel a lot more positive about the future, but it just isn’t like that right now. Like, for me, especially now it should be a time where we all come together and try to encourage optimism for robron but instead we just have a whole load of discourse, argument and bitchiness which I really cba for, it’s so boring.

I’m not going to lie, I have no proper idea what’s coming up with robron on screen in the near future because I haven’t been watching the episodes or reading spoilers because everything leads to a disagreement of some sort. I’ll scroll my dash after an episode has aired and there’s something that someone has found an issue with which then snowballs into an entire fandom discourse with ‘robert stans’ and ‘aaron stans’ pitted and arguing against each other for no fucking reason, I just ??? Then on top of that we have blogs indirecting and bitching about other people’s posts in their own posts or their own tags and I’m just sat here staring at my phone like……… why is this happening pls. It just seems at the moment an issue is found with absolutely e v e r y t h i n g when it just doesn’t need to be that way. I’m like are people just super bored and trying to find something to talk about? Are we causing issue just for the fun of it? I don’t get it and I really can’t be bothered with it.

Then the other day we had this entire discourse about multi shipping and I was literally like fuck meeeee this is now an issue too? I personally am, if you want to say, an ‘anti multi-shipper’ (fucking ridiculous term but don’t get me started on that), I could never ship the boys with anyone else just because I don’t feel comfortable with that and that’s my opinion which I am entitled to hold. If anyone else on my dash is a multi-shipper then they’re perfectly entitled to feel that way as it’s their opinion, you do you and enjoy what you enjoy, I’ll do me and enjoy what I enjoy. I’m not going to anonymously come into your ask box and try and police what you can and cannot like, that’s ridiculous and people really need to stop doing that, it’s so so silly. I can’t quite get my head around why in this fandom we seem to have such an issue with allowing people to have differing opinions to ours? So long as the person is not being rude or disrespectful then let them do what they want, like it’s really not difficult. One day the discourse will end and then the next morning someone will have restarted it which in turn reignites the disagreement and I’m just like why, it was over, this is so unnecessary. I think that’s why this whole thing is so frustrating for me because all of these issues are so easily avoidable and they’re just being made into massive dramas when they don’t need to be.

On that point, it seems like whenever someone posts an opinion they receive anonymous messages some of which are incredibly rude and unnecessary. Having said that, some anonymous messages are genuinely inquisitive and are met with unnecessarily rude answers, neither of which I am here for. I do think some people are reading too much into messages they receive when people are just trying to better understand opinion and then that too creates more tension which then causes more disagreement and we’re just going round in circles. It does also feel like people are trying to stir up issue with certain posts and just like… can we just refrain from doing that? Everyone just needs to be a little nicer, be a little more tolerant of a difference of opinion and then maybe a lot of these problems would dissipate and just maybe I’d be a step closer to having my happy fandom back.

I mean to evoke no sympathy here but I spent fucking days doing those robron blog love posts and it just feels like it did absolutely nothing lmao? I wanted to use it as a small way of bringing this fandom back together a little and realise that we’re all here in support of the same couple, why can’t that be our main focus? At the moment I’m just like what can I do?? I’m so bored of seeing the fandom in this state but I really don’t see what I can do about it? Like if people aren’t willing to take a step back from being argumentative over everything then we’re never going to get past this.

Of course, every fandom has issues, every fandom has discourse, every fandom has disagreement but this is every single fucking day I come on to find this now and I’m so done with it. If it carries on then I’m just not going to be a part of fandom anymore, I will completely step back and enjoy the couple for myself without all this extra agg. It’s so disappointing because this fandom was, for me, honestly always the best part of this couple and unfortunately it just doesn’t feel like that anymore, and that makes me so fucking sad.  

I just needed to get this off my chest and just let all this frustration with everything go. I guess I just want to see everyone focus on themselves, you do you, you enjoy what you enjoy and let other people enjoy what they enjoy. Find like-minded members of the fandom whose views you share (they’re definitely out there), engage in discussion, try and understand people’s views without putting them down for having those views. If you disagree, that’s perfectly fine, you’re entitled to feel that way, but just don’t be rude about it, it’s not needed. We’re a lovely bunch really, I think we’re all just a little lost at the moment. I would love everyone to refocus their attention on the love in this fandom. Appreciate the wonderful writers, the artists, the gif-makers, the post-makers, the members who post their feelings in tags of reblogs, the silent members, everyone who is involved in any way plays a part in making this fandom what it is. Stick together during the upcoming months of robron which are probably going to be difficult for a number of people in the fandom, make them feel welcome, make them aware that their feelings, whatever they are, are valid as the only way a lot of us are going to get through this is together. Go and tell your favourite blog you appreciate them, go and tell your friend you hope they have a nice day – just try and do a little more every day to ensure the love outweighs the disagreement. All I want right now is my boys back together and my fandom to be happy again, I guess.

[beauty4free2u]

HOOKER TO LOOKER BY JENTRY KELLEY

Hooker to looker is a "makeup guide for the not so easily offended" by Makeup artist Jentry Kelley. I stumbled on this book while watching this video by the lovely Dominique Sachse (which I highly recommend watching as well) and had to have it! It sounded just like something I would enjoy. So, from hooker to looker? Let´s check it out, shall we?

And I absolutely loved the cover! Not only brings it the title to life- but also to see Jentry's real face. Yes, we can see Jentry's skin! I am so over the crazy filters everybody is using these days! Nobody seems to have skin and pores and wrinkles anymore. This is not right. 

Jentry shows her "hooker side" (obviously) on the left and the "looker side" on the right. While the hooker side shows an impeccable makeup application technique- it seems so unreal and just too much- but this is exactly how our millenniums these days seem to apply makeup. Much of it is really coming from the drag-queen scene. Each to their own and whatever pleases you- but in bare day light, this comes off as too much for sure. I agree very much on Jentry and keep it with the "looker side" (at least that is what I am aiming for) instead! ;-) 

But maybe I am also just too old to walk around like a hooker (though I remember wearing too much makeup for sure in my teenage years). It´s probably cause in our younger years we don´t have enough confidence?

Instagram is full of photoshopped girls and yes- even our Beauty Gurus on YouTube use filters, like Wayne Goss demonstrated brilliantly in this video:

Who to trust still these days?  Jentry Kelley that is!

So I ordered my own copy of this makeup guide that starts off with a little life story of Jentry. And a true and honest story that is! Jentry started with 18 to work at a Clinique´s counter, later she freelanced at Mac, she also worked at the Bobbi Brown counter- all the while studying at college. 5 years later she graduated with a Bachelors degree in Business Management- so Jentry is a true business women: not only does she know how to apply makeup, but she also understands the business side of it. No wonder that her business plan: becoming a makeup artist including selling her own makeup line succeeded.

With pure honesty and self humor she describes, how at one point she realized, that her face was "lily white like a porcelain doll" but her body "was the color of a Brazilian beach babe" (picture below on the left). She never claimed to "know it all", but to be in a constant learning phase- she seems so down- to earth and so approachable to me! 

I watched all of her Youtube videos which I can highly recommend - even though they are a couple years old- the techniques are still all very up to date- no! no drag queen looks here. And that is just exactly what I adore on Jentry: nothing fake and she knows just simply how to enhance your face! 

The book contains also a bit of self advertisement for her own skin care and makeup line- but which smart business women would not do that, right? Anyhow: I found the tutorials definitely were missing more pictures to show the makeup application techniques she is talking about. A makeup tutorial just in words? That is just not good. 

The part I was most excited for when buying the book, was the one for "the not so easily offended" and I felt it fell a bit short- much more at the very end of the book, I got what I actually was out for: the witty, humorous side of Jentry (p. 105-113). 

I was really hoping to get much more of this kind of language. The title "a makeup guide for the not so easily offended" sounded for me more of a "fun book" than of an actual guide. But I couldn´t agree more on her opinion about "extreme contouring": please stay away cause that is just aging! Baking and extreme highlighting is in her opinion for drag queens- which I also highly agree. The problem is that it might look great on YouTube and Instagram, but in real life this ain´t flattering at all (at least not if you have fine lines and pores- or let´s say if you are above 25 lol!)

I love how she makes fun out of new trends such as grey ashy lips or even frosted lips or overly tweezed brows (which thank god is actually more of an "older trend" I think)! I am guilty myself of over tweezing- happened many times and then I need forever to grow them back (I have a tutorial here) - but right she is! And the "quotation or comma brow" just made me smile, as I have seen it too many times (don´t know what I am talking about? Scroll down this post and see the last photo!) 

This part of the book is finished off by an amusing, but very true list of "Top 20 items to toss out of your makeup bag". I am currently in an active decluttering and de-stashing phase, I feel like it feels so freeing to toss stuff I am an not using and this list definitely helps!

Jentry also notices in the book that your pencil sharpener (the blade) has got to be "Made in Germany". So true and I wrote about this also a year ago. Yes, best blades are simply from Germany (the same one Urban Decay uses). (I am so un-biased as a German lad lmao).

I disagree on her take on washing makeup brushes once a month- but maybe I am overly OCD. My personal take is once a week! ;-) 

OVERALL VERDICT:

This is a short entertaining read and great coffee table book- I especially liked Chapter 1 "How it all began" where she tells her life story and Chapter 11 "What not to do". 

If you are a complete makeup beginner and have no clue of skin care, this book might also be insightful for you, however as mentioned earlier: the tutorials are lacking in descriptive photos. Someone that has a bunch experience with makeup will  not really profit from the tutorials.

Hooker to Looker by Jentry Kelley, available on Amazon ($39.99)

I bought this. Contains Affiliate link. Read my full disclosure.

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[unordinary-analysis]

AU-Thoughts: A personality/Role-Swap between Arlo And Seraphina (I thought of this while in the car today LOL!) X'D

(Edit: I hate everything i say in the top half because honestly after doing the bottom part, I don’t really agree anymore, but you know what I put time into this lmao and I need to post something, so yeah. Sorry about this.)

Sorry for late response but i think y’all know that by now lol

I really like this because, as I think I’ve said before, I really think that Seraphina and Arlo are very similar characters. Or, at least, under the right conditions, I think they could have ended up like each other.

The similarities are striking, actually. However, they really only are at that point of time before the story starts. The time that we see in flashbacks. Both Seraphina and Arlo came from impactful backgrounds or at least similar mindsets (Arlo’s background was quite different, but he was put in a similar position to Sera closer to the start of the story). Here’s a quick list of their initial similarities:

- very powerful (royals)

- apathetic to lower-tiers/anyone

- obsessed with their authority:

- Seraphina: obsessed with others viewing her as this perfect royal, a paragon

- Arlo: obsessed with using his command as a royal to maintain order

I didn’t even list indefinite personality traits (apathy is canon for both characters) and it’s easy to see how like their personalities are. I could even argue that Arlo was also obsessed with perfection like Seraphina because he really was obsessed with being the best royal. Not exactly in the same way as Sera, who was more invested in if people thought she was a good royal. Arlo wanted his reign to be just and, well, perfect.

We know Seraphina’s background was very involved with hierarchy, power, perfection. From a young age, Seraphina was shoved into this expectation of becoming the best of her peers by her parents, friends, teachers... She was really engaged in this mindset that she couldn’t let people down. She had to be the best royal because it was her responsibility as the most powerful student. She felt this obligation.

We know Arlo’s background is different. We don’t really know anything about his home life, or his family, but we do know about his experience serving under Rei, who was honestly such an influential presense in Arlo’s life that it probably doesn’t even matter where Arlo came from before that. Rei was the person that made Arlo who he is, though not exactly intentionally.

They’re both at kind of the same place before John transfers to Wellston. Both Sera and Arlo have been almost forced in a way to be part of this heriarchy. Sera by her peers and Arlo’s internal obligation to himself to make Rei proud (also could be exchanged for ‘Arlo’s obligation to fix what Rei had done by creating a perfect balance between destructive chaos and violent tyranny, honoring Rei’s reign, yet ensuring that who’s meant to be on top, stays on top.‘ But that’s too long lol).

The thing is, as Serahina’s friendship with John grew and his influence wore off on her, she gradually became less and less concerned with how others viewed her. While she used to be so concerned about letting people down, John taught her to not care what people thought. This is something that would really confuse the other royals, especially Arlo. Arlo and Seraphina understood each other, or had at some point (I literally talk about something like this in this post about ships a while back) if you scroll down my page). Then, suddenly, Sera replaces the parts of her similar to Arlo with those of John to form a new person that Arlo can’t really comprehend anymore. It’s likely why he tried hard to get her reinvolved in the hierarchy and why he felt that he had to get Seraphina back. I think that either Arlo was attached to the Seraphina that understood him, or maybe attached to her reign beside him as a royal because I know that Arlo was a very logical person, and rarely let his emotions guide his actions. Regardless, I am certain that Arlo missed the old Sera.

Anyway,

Seraphina grew away from Arlo as her personality became less and less similar to his, but it was entirely because of John. John was the sole (right?) cause of Seraphina straying from how she’d acted throughout her whole life.

In a proper au, the personality/role switch would ideally be from the beginning of the story, correct? Not just shoved in at like some random point, like now, because the characters in each situation has grown into it. Beginning Seraphina would not act like recent Seraphina. Same for Arlo. Their storylines have changed them as people and that means if we throw, say, Arlo into Sera’s current storyline, it would not be the same as his character having lived through her storyline for the entire time. This is a basic concept and I hope I’m not making people seem stupid, but maybe a better example is if we threw old Seraphina’s character into her latest storyline (basically: if Seraphina hadn’t changed at all when she became friends with John, which I believe is actually impossible because I don’t think they would be friends if Seraphina hadn’t changed but that’s off topic lol). She would no doubt act more indifferent, or probably be upset that someone more powerful is taking her old place at the head of the school (she doesn’t have her powers at this point, remember).

Because Arlo’s and Seraphina’s starting character traits were so similar

I personally believe that nothing much would be all that different.

So i know this answer is annoying as shit, trust me, but I don’t really think I can really think or prove a world where if Arlo had been put into Sera’s position at the beginning of the story, he would have acted much differently than she did.

If you guys disagree with my answer, cool. I actually do not really support this answer I’ve come up with because I keep thinking, “sure they acted similar in the beginning, but their emotions and what they feel connected to, that is different for both of them, so there’s no way of saying that something wouldn’t affect the storyline along the way. It’s called the butterfly effect.” Or... something like that idk.

Anyway. This is why I’ve decided to have a little more fun with this. Personality switch, I’ve debunked, but a less strict role swap (there’s a difference I swear)? Hell yeah.

Broooooooooo I really want to write out this small description of what this would look like so let’s go :D.

Okay first: let’s determine what roles Arlo and Seraphina have right now.

Seraphina has currently found out that her best friend of like a year, John, (??? I really need to get That timeline worked out) has been hiding something huge from her, something whose coverup gave birth to their friendship. Not only that, but his entire character, which has, Seraphina can’t deny, been getting more and more different for months now, his character, that Sera has grown used and attached to, has been completely flipped on its head. This is the friend that was there for her when Sera lost her powers, when she needed consolation, who gave Sera the courage to stand up to her mother. And he was all a lie.

Arlo has recently been facing a threat to the thing he holds above all else, something he put endless work into: the hierarchy. Arlo has put so much effort into establishing himself as leader, cleaning up after Rei, and making sure the school runs smoothly. He’s dedicated, okay. But then, because he wanted to fix another small part of the hierarchy and get a friend back, Arlo starts involving John, who despises him for it, so much so that after Arlo apologizes for bringing him back into the hierarchy, John says he’ll tear the whole system down (again: the one thing that Arlo is unbelievably attached to). One by one John is hurting his friends and there’s nothing he can do to stop him, nothing he can do. As a final, desperate blow, Arlo reveals a long kept secret to John’s best friend. If this doesn’t work, he has no moves left and he loses all the hard work he put into the hierarchy and has to watch John unravel it all.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way: let’s just... :

Arlo has currently found out that his best friend of like a year, John, has been hiding something huge from him, something whose coverup gave birth to their friendship. Not only that, but his entire character, which has, Arlo can’t deny, been changing for months now, his character, that Arlo has grown used and attached to, has been completely flipped on its head. This is the friend that was there for him when Arlo lost his powers, when he needed consolation, who gave Arlo the courage to stand up to his mother. And he was all a lie.

Seraphina has recently been facing a threat to the thing she holds above all else, something she put endless work into: the hierarchy. Sera has put so much effort into establishing herself as leader, cleaning up after Rei, and making sure the school runs smoothly. She’s dedicated, okay. But then, because she wanted to fix another small part of the hierarchy and get a friend back, Sera starts involving John, who despises her for it, so much so that after Seraphina apologizes for bringing him back into the hierarchy, John says he’ll tear the whole system down. One by one John is hurting her friends and there’s nothing she can do to stop him, nothing she can do. As a final, desperate blow, Sera reveals a long kept secret to John’s best friend. If this doesn’t work, she has no moves left and she loses all the hard work she put into the hierarchy and has to watch John unravel it all.

And guess who’s gonna stop there :DD. Me. I think- I think it’s better if I leave this here actually... Let’s you guys think about it... I don’t really want to write all this out, just trying something. I think it’s pretty good though hmm......

I still kind of think the characters would act similar, but I don’t know. I think the same things would happen regardless of the au, but there’s just something so intriguing about seeing the names in a situation we don’t normally see them in i d k.

Yo I sound so lame. I’m not new to au’s ugh I sound like a try hard don’t I? Lol.

Comment your au’s below or any criticism bye :) I’m too tired to fix this bc I know I sound really contradictory this whole time but I give up lmao (i have a 2% work ethic R.I.P.)