#if you did lmk and i’ll answer fool in reverse too

[stylographic-blue-rhapsody]

The Fool, The Moon and Judgement both upright and in reverse for Espen plz !

the fool - When has your character been excited to start a new journey?

when she was stationed at bazzoxan the first time. out of the seven in her cohort, she was the last one to be assigned there, spending several years separated from them after basic training at other posts (she always was the slowest of them to build power and skill). it was her first posting as a fully fledged medic, so it was a combination of excitement for a new job and joy in finally returning to her family

the moon is answered here!

judgment - Has your character ever been given a second chance?

not in the sense that she had done something that needed fixing or atonement, but the years following her honorable discharged to rosohna was when she and shanfel finally grew close. it was catalyzed by their shared grief, and shanfel being a fully fledged adult at the time allowed them to connect without the emotional barriers they had with each other when he was an adolescent

judgment reversed - When has your character found it difficult to forgive themselves?

even knowing that she did everything she could, even knowing that she did everything according to triage priority, espen to this day carries massive guilt over the deaths of her cohort members during the bazzoxan massacre. she was the chief medic at the time, and emergency triage priority with limited resources goes like this: civilians over watch, and recoverable injuries over inevitably lethal ones. she healed non-combatants enough that they could flee, and saved the watch members that could be pulled from death’s door

and this means she has very clear memories of elexi, jin, and bas bleeding out. could she have saved them? maybe if she had had more resources and wasn’t also directing the other field medics. maybe if jin’s hold monster spell had succeeded. maybe if she had deprioritized a different patient who might have been able to hold on longer. her guilt is tied up in a mess of what-ifs