#if you couldn’t tell from everything about me already hi!! i’m jess and i rlly like mushrooms lmao

[mistyjessart]

“Hobbits have a passion for mushrooms, surpassing even the greediest likings of Big People.”

The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien

[peachyuns]

soulmate!jaehyun

i looped no more dream and first love to write this . i

prompt: “soulmate au where you hear background music for the most important parts of your life, and when you meet your soulmate it’s dramatic and romantic music”

WELL

as a kid, you never really understood the whole “soulmate” concept

so when music would just randomly play when you’re 2 seconds away from fighting some kid for stealing your banana milk

more specifically, “the final countdown”

you’d be completely confused

and you couldn’t even be sad whenever your little goldfish die bc weird, dramatic ass music would just start playing as you’re getting ready to flush it down the toilet and ?? w hy

“do u hear the creepy music???? we probably shouldn’t go into the forest at like 2 in the morning?????? we are going to die”

you didn’t understand it until you were 17 and it happened

you were with your best friend and all of a sudden she just started to look around all confused???

“do you hear that”

“hear what”

“the fucking music!!! what is that”

“r u taking xanax or”

“nO THERE’S MUSIC”

and then all of a sudden a girl comes out and she’s also looking around all confused

and it’s like

“oh”

“i think it’s-”

“oh my god, that’s whose ass i’m gonna be eating for the rest of my life!”

“huh???”

“soulmate!!!!!!!”

so after that

you finally understand the whole music concept

and even when you’re in college

and failing like half of your tests

you’d just be sitting there and all of a sudden sad music would start to play and it’s like “o thx for reminding me that i literally got a 30% on this test yes”

and at your first college party

some cute guy keeps looking at you

and when you make eye contact Sexy ;)))))) music starts to play

so you’re like Yeet lmaoo

you also go through that short “i’m never gonna find my soulmate” phase

and the point in ur life that is just filled with misfortune lmaoo

“will i ever be able to hear happy music again what is going on”

so to make yourself feel better

you start going to this one bakery that has really fucking good chocolate cake every day

and you meet a couple of boys that are just rlly fuckin wild and weird and funny

and you spend a lot of your time there with them

“johnny have you found your soulmate????”

“found them when i was like 7″

“i’m literally fucking 21 and i haven’t found them yet i’m going to be alone with my 12 dogs forever :(((((”

“no u won’t be alone!!!!! you’ll have ur 12 dogs!”

you don’t even have time to say anything bc crazy action music starts to play

and you’re like are you fuckin kidding me lol

and you look over and there’s like a big ass fire in the back

“uhhhhh johnny?????”

“o shit”

“yeah”

but!!! then

romantic music starts to play at the same time

“this is rlly about to happen right now huh”

once you and everyone are out of the building and like firefighters are called jdhfhdjdfh

you bump into someone

yay surprise it’s jaehyun

and you’re literally getting a headache from the loud action music and then the cute romantic music playing at the same fucking timekfjfjhg

mood honestly

but he starts to hear the music too

and he’s just trying to pay attention to you and not the fire behind you but u know it’s a little fucking difficult

“do you think maybe we can like postpone this bc there is a fire right over there and i’ve been having a shitty month where have u been mr”

he’s kind of just like “well good luck to me my soulmate is a mess lmao”

“sorry???? um-”

“there’s no time for talking right now give me ur number so. i can incessantly bother u”

he just feels like he has no choice you’re literally so fucking demanding fjhgfhdsj

“take a cute fucking picture too i like ur face”

“ok fuck- just calm down for a second”

“you don’t tell me what to do you left me out here like an idiot for 21 years”

“aren’t we both at fault for not finding each other sooner”

“no just you, now give me my phone”

he’s just left standing there while he watches you leave

“what the fuck even just happened”

so you go home all angry

and your roommate is just like oh fuck No i’m not abt to deal with this

“tAEYONG I FOUND HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“found what”

“my soulmate u dickhead”

“name?”

“it says jaehyun in my phone”

“oh hey, i know him!!!!”

“w hat”

“yeah he literally went to college with us dumbfuck”

so that same night you call him

bc he’s ur soulmate u can do whatever the fuck u want

“took you long enough to pick up ugh”

“it rang once before i picked up what do you mean???”

“anyway we’re going on a date tomorrow”

“that was quick”

“quick??????? we are soulmates, my dude”

“pizza then??”

“i’m in love with you jaehyun”

“anyway”

so the next day you get ready to go on your little date with jaehyun

and in all honesty, he doesn’t know what to expect bc he didn’t think his soulmate would be like………………….you

he just caught you at a bad time in your life lmao

“i’m surprised he still wants to go on a date with you after all of that”

“ugh u right i’m a fucking mess what business do i have going on a date with an actually really cute boy and suddenly i’m nervous!!! fuck you taeyong”

“i’m moving out. right now”

“you do that”

okay anyway so like you drive to the pizza place

bc you refused to have jaehyun pick you up

and you’re nervous but you’re also not bc you’ve been through some shit already

like you literally met your soulmate??? while the bakery you were in was on fire???

what else could go wrong

so you go inside and then the romantic music starts to play again

“is it gonna do that every time we see each other”

“i fucking hope not….. unless they start playing the grammy worthy song dedicated to jesse ‘he could be the one’ by icon hannah montana”

“jaehyun what”

“nothing let’s just sit”

he kind of just sits there looking all cute and dumb

and so are you lmao

“how are you?”

wrong question!!!!!!!

“how aM i?? i have been miserable for the last 2 months and then the universe just decides to throw you at me while there’s a fire going on and it’s a mess, everything is a mess!!! you’re really cute and stuff and it’s like oh maybe the universe made a mistake bc there is no way a boy as cute as you is my soulmate i’m literally going to Combust”

“oh no please don’t cry! i’m sorry i couldn’t find you earlier- oh god there’s snot, okay”

he’s panicking and you’re ugly crying and the rest of the customers are just like lol wtf

he has to pull you out of the restaurant to save you from more embarrassment and then all of sudden he’s hugging you and it’s like ?? wow comforting

“god dude i’m really sorry, i ruined the date and you have such a weird soulmate and ?? why”

“hey it’s okay!!! i hope this doesn’t make you cry even more but it was pretty entertaining how you yelled at me the first time we met and i don’t know. you’re cute and a wreck and yeah”

“i don’t know if i want to punch you in the throat or like kiss you but yeah okay”

“well the day isn’t over, and honestly i already know i’d like to do this with you again… so”

you don’t know if your face is all red from you crying or how sweet he is but ugh fucking Superb

“oh that sounds nice. i promise i won’t cry next time, hopefully”

n he’s just staring at you?? with a tiny smile on his face

and he finds you so endearing

and you’re getting butterflies but ohmhfjdhf

and it’s awkward but a nice awkward and wow????

“will you like… stop looking at me like that”

“like what?”

“i don’t know”

“like i think you’re absolutely adorable?”

“yeah….”

“no, bc i do”

[ts-indonesia]

Episode 1 - "Time to put on a bra and take some selfies." - Leigh

Episode 1 saw eighteen players, some fresh faces, and some veterans arrive on the Indonesia beaches, ready to play and ready to win. On a somewhat quiet Obor tribe, Leigh/Trent bonded over the age difference on the tribe (with a cunning plan reliant on using the word ‘lit’) and Anabel/Trent begun to form a bond that would survive the test of time.

On the Cahaya tribe, Matt/Jess feared the casting of one another, and Julian arrived plucky and ready to avoid another prejury experience, determined to improve. Owen/Stoner quickly formed HOS 22: Bermuda, and set to work spreading their connections across the tribe, forming at trio with Julian.

After a decisive victory in the Scavenger Hunt, it was revealed the returnees would have to send two returnees to the other tribe as “infiltrators” casting a sole vote. In an attempt to force the result, Julian went “offline”, in an attempt seen-through by his fellow tribe mates, but one that was ultimately successful, with Owen & Julian sent over as infiltrators.

At Obor’s tribal council, Evan quickly emerged as an easy vote, for his minimal challenge contribution. Two key alliances formed, a newbie majority alliance of Trent/Chris O/Leigh/Anabel/Lorelei and a girls’ alliance of Lorelei/Anabel/Leigh, with Anabel armed with an idol to boot.

As expected, Evan was sent out unanimously, but not before Julian trashed on the Cahaya tribe during tribal council... in a tribal seen... by the Cahaya tribe. With Evan out, the torches still inspiring such hate, and the infiltrators returning... that drew round one to a close.

MATT

first confessional give me idol? 

also hi Jones

OWEN

okay so im walking onto the boat.... my hair is thinning, my skin is getting wrinkly, im ancient at this point. nonetheless im back for like the sixth time. or seventh, honestly who can keep track anymore. i see these like cute little new people. ANABEL's vid is AMAZING gay icon, lorelei legend likes pokemon mystery dungeon,  Leigh is near chicago, like... i literally love all these new players but then i realize NONE OF THEM WILL BE ON MY TRIBE SKADSFJH. instead? im stuck with crazy ppl. there's julian who i voted out premerge in the season I won, and Matt who was in my most recent season nnn but NOT the matt I worked with in that game. and of all people CHRIS STONER LMAO. to be fair, chris isn't that bad bc I know he'll work with me hopefully but also I know he's a good player and wouldn't hesitate to cut me out. thank god olivia and jess are here tbh. omg and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.....a furry shows up. WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK lmao I remember foxx back from the old old days and he seems scary :(((( good news is julian said him and isaac haven't ever gotten along and that isaac has voted him out twice :') so that might be good. and i'm fairly sure stoner and jess would have my back rn i just need to talk more to them. but for real, as soon as there's a swap or something if I survive that long? bye bye returnees :) i dont see myself getting very attached to anyone at the start so ill just do my best to ride out this beginning and maybe have some fun

LEIGH

I'm looking forward to seeing how long our tribe chat is just "Hey *Tribe Member's Name*!" 

I think it could go on a while.

OWEN

chris: ditching u for the other stoner tho chris: tumblr needs an all stoner f2... 7:23 PM me: thats ok im ditching u for the gay girl from the first post me: but for now? u and me <3 7:23 PM chris: deal stoner and I rlly did speak this into existence....... it'll happen

LEIGH

So this tribe has literal children on it. 15, 16 years old. I might have to backstab ACTUAL CHILDREN!  How do I even fit in with them? Trent suggested we could buy fidget spinners.  I said maybe yoga pants and a crop top?  There are people here BORN AFTER 9/11!!!  What the fuck I didn't even know you could be born after 9/11 and be out of kindergarten. What year is it?

EVAN

Just met some other castaways, they seem pretty chill.

FOXX

What's up. So this fox has returned after an eternity of a hiatus with more grey in his muzzle and hopefully some self-awareness to go with it. I played some pretty solid games in the past but after taking a long time lurking and sort of forgetting Tumblr Survivor Crooks asked if I wanted to play despite not knowing I have played before. That's how old and irrelevant of a has-been I am. Back from the dead. I'm glad my star has faded and I can go in with a blank slate. My biggest concern is that I am not on my anxiety medication so my social interactions, especially on call, will be a lot more stilted and I'm terrified this will impair my judgment but we'll see. Right now I'm not trying to come off as a huge strategist. I made an intentionally crappy intro video, made fun of myself, and just tried to be funny without coming off too weird/desperate etc. Almost like I'm not taking this too seriously. However, already I'm noticing a patterns in how people on my tribe are. I have no fucking clue who these mammals are. People will have extensive conversations about people, twists, running jokes, etc and I'm totally lost. That hiatus really did fuck with my ability to ingratiate myself with this community. That will be a huuuuge advantage coming to dealing with the newbies since I can leverage that to not seem so threatening but right now I think I'm doing a fair job being friendly and making people laugh. I hope. God. So my thoughts on my tribemates thus far: Stoner: Vaguely know who this guy is. Aptly named. He's clearly blazed as hell but I can tell he's bright and likable. Says "oh shit" a lot and he seems like depsite his facade he's probably someone I can work with. Isaac: We talked about Overwatch a bit and he seems nice but he's not coming on my radar too strong. Jess: Definitely made a fairly strong impression on me since we're similar ages, Francophone, and we bonded over our mutual detest and hatred of furries and then I calmly sneak in the fact I am a furry an hour later and holy shit I was trying so hard to not bust into tears. She's funny and likable and seems like she's someone I could work with. Matt: Talked a bit about me coming back. Very little in group call. Michael: Talked a fair amount about D&D and made some fun Upside Down jokes. Seems like we have a lot in common but him being a different time zone could prove hard to keep up with. Being the outlier on Time Zones is playing on Hard Mode. Olivia: Love her! We bonded over animals and she seems like a total sweetheart and I definitely wanna share pics of my cat with her some more! Owen: We talked a bit about literature and it was fun. Definitely seems intelligent and he's someone I know a bit about from Olympics. In an ideal world I'd want to work with Stoner, Jess, Olivia, & Michael but everything in on fire. Also, no luck on the idol so fuck me I guess

JESS

So... first night has been interesting? I was going to do your typical "first impressions" confessional but... FOXXX or whatever the fury's name is.... is playing too hard too fast. Am I being a Paranoid Patty and reading this the WRONG WAY entirely? Possibly. HOWEVER... It's been less than 5 hours since we were thrown into this hell hole of a game (The hosts are lovely individuals but we all know this is about to get insane) and he's telling me if I want to make a move that he's my guy? Ummm.... WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN OUR FIRST IMMUNITY YET? I'M NOT THINKING MOVES RIGHT NOW? I BARELY CAN REMEMBER YOUR NAME!

MICHAEL

https://youtu.be/Swisjdq1R4s

OLIVIA

Have I befriended a furry???????? Is this real life????? Is he actually a furry or just really in deep on this joke? Why are there so many Dylans in orgs? Also fucking goddamnit I like EVERYONE HERE I just wanna be friends with all y’all damn. All of the newbies are so adorable and seem so excited and unknowing to the pain that’s gonna come :’) Annabelle especially like my wig flew with that intro! I wanna meet them all. Also wtf is with the torches I WANNA KNOW ALREADY! Anyways that’s all I’m excited for this season. Owen and I renewed the o alliance :-) and Jess seems cool as hell I really clicked with her and the furry. Michael seems sweet and I already know Julian from Mykonos, the absolute crackhead. Real sweetie tho hopefully we’re friends. I hope I’m not coming off as too insane I was so nervous on the phone call with the tribe :( it was so fun but I felt like every time I said something it fell flat I felt so awkward abhhhhhahshsjaj. Anyhoo yay! New season!

Should I write the rest of my confessionals in japanese? Neko. Boom

JESS

So coming into this game with a TS under my belt is different... I still have no expectations whatsoever BUT I do know how HARD people go for in these games and I'm planning to go just as hard. The first night was wild. Everyone on my tribe except for Matt and Julian were lively on the tribe call. Everyone seemed pretty cool and super... out there.. I think Isaac might be the one to watch on my tribe. He's been around the block and knows most people on my tribe (new and old). WHICH IS WHY.. I'm going to try my best and get super close to him. I need to make sure I'm not disposable to these "older players" and as asset to these "newer" players. I just know need to cool my jets on the whole socializing bit in the main chat (Yes I know it's literally day 1). I want to be as irrelevant as possible so no one thinks I'm a threat but no one really wants to get rid of me either. Gotta focus on those INDIVIDUAL RELATIONSHIPS. Hopefully these other players with more TS's under their belts become bigger shields than me because if not... yikes on yikes.

ROB

I like everyone so far. Evan is giving me a few red flags because he’s only giving me one word answers, so i might take that into consideration when voting.

FOXX

We had a very fun group call with the tribe last night. Definitely haven’t laughed that much in a while. Love my tribe thus far so I hope we can keep the good vibes going. Jess & Stoner are people I feel like have talked with me the most Nd Olivia, Owen, & Michael are also friendly so I think I have options. One thing I’ve noticed is how casual and sociable this tribe is. Nothing is more frustrating than a tribe full of overserious gamebots (*cough* Selwyn *cough*) but it’s a group of funny and chill people. It’s gonna be a great game!

OLIVIA

I love these hosts 🙂 HATE the idol system but honestly it doesn’t change much I’ve never gotten an idol before and probably never will so it won’t change my gameplay lmao

I like Isaac a lot too! Forgot to say. But I’m also a little wary of him because I know he’s very experienced

JULIAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKDvx7VxRC8

ANABEL

well. yesterday i found an idol on my second guess. and made two new friends. so yesterday was great. today was bad. i outed myself. my mom heard me tell my eyebrow lady that i was gay. this is a sad confessional and i wish i wasn’t so loud. im real fucking sad. sorry. but at least i have an idol and some friends.

LEIGH

Time to put on a bra and take some selfies.

I'm glad I shaved today for that tattoo selfie.

OLIVIA

There’s an alliance I’m not in isn’t there

Why am I so FUCKING awkward

ANABEL

im so fucking good at survivor like... good lord. trent and i are like best friends already (see, i knew this would happen, i always meet a nice old usually straight man and we become friends, it's like the hallmark of my survivor experiences) and we came up w a plan where i am gonna try and seduce evan and rob and make them my lil minions so im gonna lie to them and tell them that im a cheerleader bc that's hot right?? so ya my womanly charms will be utilized to their fullest potential. go me.

MICHAEL

https://youtu.be/aAqEUHoyy78

LEIGH

Can we talk about how bullshit it is to have "Lipstick in your tribe's color" when we're yellow and they're RED?  Honest to god might as well have "Lemon in your tribe's color" to make it fair.

Alex coming in with bold capslock "MAKE SURE EVERYONE ON YOUR TEAM HAS SUBMITTED AT LEAST ONE THING" ... Just DM Evan directly my dude.

OLIVIA

Feeling much better about this game today than I was last night I think I was just spiraling 🥰 we’re doing really well on the challenge and I hope we win!! Two people messaged me saying I’m doing great on the challenge and idk how to respond. Just tryna make sure we don’t lose I will NOT be the first vote out. Newbies go hard on scavenger hunts but I go even harder 😈

LORELEI

Ok so! I'm super bummed that obor lost the challenge, I really thought we would win! Now we have to get rid of someone and it sucks but I feel like we all know who it has to be. It's not even personal, it's just the fairest thing and the best thing for our tribe. Also, alliances are forming! I like Anabel, Leigh and Trent so I'm with them but I'm gonna try to connect with everyone so I'm not on the outskirts. I hope that the boys haven't formed an all boys alliance bc if they have, then the girls could be in danger. That's it for now!

STONER

guess I’ll follow Alex crook’s rules... https://youtu.be/ndsfCdjtcQI

Not much, about to sleep! https://youtu.be/v12a2AbklVw

MICHAEL

https://youtu.be/4inKBNkg87M

JESS

It's 2:30am so WHY NOT post ANOTHER confessional? Am I right? Honestly, we won which I'm BEYOND THANKFUL for. I hate tribal and I can now at least say I wasn't first boot. THANK GAGA. I'm just really trying to solidify things with Michael right now. I think out of everyone on my current tribe I can honestly see myself making a run at this game with him (at least up until merge). I offered him the prospect of sharing idol clues (it's literally the only collateral I have at the moment) so hopefully this doesn't bite me in the fucking ass. Other than Michael I was kind of hoping to somehow get closer to both Julian and Matt (plot twist I know). Matt has hosted me before and it's no secret he is a founding father of the "I Hate Jess" Club. However, these two seem to be the odd men out right now. They aren't overly socializing with people so there's a high chance they'll be taken out if our current tribe loses. HOWEVER.. I see potential numbers in them. So I can't let that happen. As of right now both Foxx and Stoner seem to be the ones to watch out for. I just can't let them think or know... that I know that about them. Stoner gives me mega "I say the same things to everyone" vibes. He's clearly playing a strong social game so far. I just need to play dumb and ensure that he thinks he can control/trust me. Honestly, as soon as he doesn't see value in me I have no doubt he's gonna cut me. Foxx on the other hand, just seems like he's playing too hard. He's another guy who I strongly believe is going to drop me as soon as I have no value to him. I'm just going to have to have to lay low and be dumb. Owen scares me shitless. He's giving me PTSD from my last season because homeboy is playing a strong contender game. He's definitely a pick to win. He's another person who I'm going to have to try and pretend I'm under their spell. Am I playing too hard too fast? I'm not entirely sure. I'm just going to slow my role a bit and see what happens

MATT

What’s Up? WHAT’S UP?!?!?!?  how dare you ask me such a ludicrous question.  Alright so first real general confessional of the game here.  I wanna eventually try and record some video confessionals, but that’s if i have the time. but for today, we’re good with a text.   So starting off the game on the Cahaya Tribe, which consists of entirely returnees.  So right off the bat it makes nervous bc i’m really not around much in the community.  Yeah i’m in a few VL’s and i played once before, but i really don’t know anyone.  So being the odd one out for that reason was a real fear for a little bit. Looking at my tribe, there are a few names that stood out the most to me.  Owen stood out bc we both played Kuwait, and even tho we never met each other, we still have that little connection.  Chris motherfucking Stoner is here too!!  Chris is such a chill dude.  we played together once before and i voted him out pre swap.  But that game was so long ago, and i really don’t think he cares (i know i dont).  So i’m looking forward to reconnecting with him.  Jess is also here!! Jess and I had met previously because i hosted her in Celestial Komnata, and we had some rough misunderstandings there.  But months have passed and I know that I am well over it bc i frankly don’t care.  But i feel like she still probably cares which will not be good for me. Michael was the last person that stood out to me.  Not because I know him, or know of him.  But because he’s the only Non-North American in the cast, which means if i can stay up late and socialize with him, he might favor me over other When i looked at the other tribe, i think the only person i know is Anabel?  We played together once, i hosted her, so we have somewhat of a connection that if we swap together, i hope that works in my favor.   So on the first night of the game, i was very busy with Celestial All stars premiere, so i didn’t get to talk as much as i would’ve liked.  which resulted in me telling jones on call like 5 times that i’m gonna be first boot.  But the first night, i talked with everyone (to some degree) except Issac bc i forgot Issac was here.   The torch twist thing i have no idea what it’s going to be and it worries me.  My first thought is that it somehow would result in a third tribe bc there were six torches.  so someone would light a torch and be placed on that tribe. But it’s too early to figure out what they even mean and i’m sure as the game progresses.  

LEIGH

Woooo so what's happened.  Well, we lost the challenge and it wasn't even close. I haven't looked at the spreadsheet to see the final scores but I feel like Me, Trent, and Anabell did the most work.  I talked to a few people last night and put Evan's name out there cuz I know most people are too scared to say a name first and I feel comfortable enough about my position to be the one to say a name that most people should agree with. A mutual alliance formed between me, Chris, Trent, Anabell, and Lorelei.  Within it, an all girls 3 alliance formed which I'm super happy to be part of.  I'm sure Trent will be paranoid about that sooner or later so hopefully Chris and I can make him feel confident.  Trent is sharing idol guesses with me so I'm hoping that means I'm like the closest person to him right now.  I like the number of options I have so far. 

I feel like Facebook might be falling out of style so maybe these youngin's don't even have it or aren't familiar with Facebook ORGs.  The only other people here who know my history as far as I know are Foxx and Chris, and I hope neither of them bring it up. If I can stay UTR that'd be nice.  Also, I think I need to stop capitalizing letters/using punctuation if I wanna fit in with these kids.  Did I already confessionalize that? Not sure.

Apparently Lorelei missed the HII thing day one haha oh well. I'm compiling guesses from me, Chris, and Trent. Hopefully I'll get them from the girls too. I'm not showing the girls' guesses to Chris though. I don't think he'll be mad at me for it. We gotta play close to the vest sometimes yo

TRENT

So far I think the game is going alright. My tribe is incredibly quiet for some reason but I guess that isn't too bad. I made a connection with Anabel and Leigh pretty early on. Decided to suggestion and alliance and both we in so I added Chris and Lorelei so we had a majority. This is the alliance I wanted from the beginning. I wanted the older people to stick together and then add in one young one. I think it's a pretty solid idea. Ive been messaging both kenny and dylan as well. I don't want an alliance with them, but I would like for them to like me and want me to stay in. I also think im getting along pretty well with the two infiltrators right now. Julian was spilling all kinds of info about his tribe to me this morning and then me and owen connected really well. Hopefully this will help me in the future if there is a split soon.

OLIVIA

Jess was hinting that her, foxx, stoner, and I should get together and I said we’d make a nifty cool group. A NIFTY COOL GROUP WHAT THE FUCK IS A NIFTY COOL OLIVIA

ISAAC

This twist can become SO detrimental. And I’m so MAD Owen went over there first because that bitch is unbelievably charismatic. Hopefully it paints a bigger target on him but like it’s whatever. I like my tribe. We seem chill and I seem to vibe the most with Olivia and Jessica Messica. Foxx is cool. Julian is....Julian ig. Matt has yet to talk to me so that’s a wig ig. Michael seems nice but ngl I get kinda bored when I try to talk to him? He seems very gamebot-y which could be frightening but idk he’s not my biggest problem atm. I’m terrified of Owen - he’s unbelievably charismatic and has the ability to twist people around his finger so like I’m gonna keep my eye on him and I’m not gonna let him out of my sight. With that being said I do wanna see him live for at least a little while for meat-shield purposes. Anyways I hope I do well this game but 👀 I have a sinking feeling.

KENNY

So yeah.. it seemed like a pretty laxxed day and Evan was the vote. How true is that? Idk but I have to trust strangers. But just heard he through my name out like 20 minutes ago, with less than 3 hours to go. So I just hope everyone’s being honest 😭

OWEN

what’s up? Everything :’) I couldn’t help as much in the scav hunt as I liked because I was living my life. But thankfully we won anyways bc my tribe kicked ass! I still contributed some and I made sure to keep talking to people. I still love olivia, and matt has been fun to talk to. Don’t rlly know why but foxx seems hard to get to know. And not big into michael rn either. I think I will stick with Julian and chris, hopefully can pull in jess and olivia to do something if we lose. Chris mentioned that both him and jess DO like foxx so we will see.... The main thing is that this twist worked out perfectly for me!!!! I couldn’t call when we were decided and I REALLY wanted to go. Thankfully I was able to take advantage of the majority vote thing and pretend like I wasn’t online hehe and by some miracle I got picked to go. MEANT TO BEEE and let me say I was right, I do love this tribe so much more than my own for some reason. Trent is great, Annabel and I are talking like I wanted, the Chicago girl and the Pokémon mystery dungeon girl. It’s so good over here, but the biggest surprise has been chris o. I really like him and could see myself working well with him if we swap. The only thing is that Julian said he was sketchy sometimes..... hehe so down the road I might have to tell chris o that Julian is after him :~) but I don’t need to snake too hard yet, for right now I’m a crocodile lookin like a log. Vote should be easy on Evan from what I’ve heard but if it changes? I’ll be living for the drama!

LORELEI

It looks like Evan is the consensus. I feel really bad though because it's not his fault. He tried to plead his case with me by saying that he wasn't the only one that was inactive, but that doesn't change the fact that he contributed the least. I know it's the fair thing to do but I feel bad about it. Voting out people is so not fun, I really hope we win the next challenge so I won't have to do this again.

EVAN

I’m pretty sure I’m fucked. I’ve been trying to get people to vote Kenny but idk fuck

KENNY

“I know I’M voting Evan = I might be voting Evan but I know others are voting you”. Or am I being paranoid

JULIAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaH8l2R-Xt0

MATT

i feel like i did pretty good on the scavenger hunt.  i managed to scoop up a bunch of items that were left over and some that were high points.  so i do feel good about my performance and think i pulled my weight.  Speaking of pulling weight...Julian is...there.  I think he only submitted one item which was the Vine.  I mean i get you have work and are busy, but like...most of us were the same?  even issac who was celebrating his birthday did more.   after challenge results we got on call in the tribe chat (olivia, chris, michael, myself). and we were talking about the infiltrator twist and the challenge results.  We agreed to have myself and Olivia go, but we needed 5 for a majority.  Julian shows up and says he “might wanna go tbh”.  and then disappears.  We’re on call laughing bc we wanna submit this and not randomize it, so someone who isn’t here gets forced to go.  BUT JULIAN won’t talk in tribechat even tho we’re all like, “hey we’ll take turns and you can go next time.”. but no.  Julian is only talking in olivia’s pm’s and she’s telling us whatever he’s saying. eventually the hour is up, and julian got randomized to go.  that fucker strong armed us into randomizing and he still went god damnit.   I think that call was good for my game because we were just chatting for like 1.5 hours about the game stuff and people.  After michael/chris left the call it was just Olivia and myself on call and we stayed on for another hour and a half(????? ish??? probably less i can’t remember).  But that was a nice call and i think helped start to solidify a bond.  Olivia is someone i can see myself working with in this game.  Same goes for Michael and Chris.  I feel like that call group was pretty natural and we got along really well.  I’m too nervous to initiate any kind of alliance talk, but i know it’s gonna have to happen eventually.  i’m sure alliances already exist on the tribe and i’m obviously not in them.  I think for starters, i need to work on conversations a bit more, because they are somewhat weak right now.  My goal for the future is to work on olivia, michael, chris and owen.  Those are the people i feel most good about.  Foxx is cool but idk it seems hard to gel with them.  Julian is cracked and i hope he’s our first boot.  and the four of us on call forgot issac was on the tribe so that’s not good for him. i think i’m in a decent position for now, but i’m not gonna count my chickens before they hatch (i think that’s the saying idfk)

[cnisms]

ok wow... here are some v basic intros for beck, aja, veronika, bella, angel n natalya ! they won’t be super detailed bc... theres fricken 6 of them... some are longer, some are shorter, they are all ugly. but i do know my muses inside out so if u ever want me to expand on anything or fill in any gaps, just lmk. no stat pages for any of them yet, so i’ll list the basics in here. plotting ? yk what to do ! im me or just punch me in the face ! n ofc if theres specific plots u have in mind already just lmk bc as yall know... im always gonna snatch them up anyways (also ONCE AGAIN sorry for never replying to ims, i’m just a lot of foul moods these days n obviously it’s got nothin to do w yall so i wait... aka i get five minutes of peace a week... but i 100% always wanna plot n be friends !!! i WILL reply... eventually...) v brief mentions of miscarriage, drug addiction, neglect, murder n obviously death.

i lied i actually did start this ugli’s stats !! barely, but they’ll be here.

you will never met a bigger nerd than beck ever im tellin u now

had a nice childhood, parents are both scientists n lowkey hippies, v v v smart household. they were always more friendly than parental with him due to the fact that he’s always been (not super mature but) very intellectual.

grew up interested in everything. studied hard n fast. has graduated too many times. thought maybe the goal was to be a lecturer ? couldn’t pick on what tho. ended up staying to hang around his last university and instead tutors literally everyone in literally any subject. if ur muse is studying @ imperial college ? beck is their favourite tutor. srry it’s law !

just a nice guy ? unfortunately doesn’t have very many negative traits to him bc that’s just the way it worked out but he does talk a lot n has trouble effectively communicating anything he hasn’t studied so he may not always appear to be the nicest guy but ? he rlly is just a ugh jesse mccartney vc beautiful soul.

barely getting by bc how much can u charge uni students ? the answer is the minimum. he’s never been super materialistic or anything so it’s not a rude shock to him but his social life suffers (i mean he could find plenty to do himself but he is always rejecting invitations) due to lack of funds.

so boring.. so vanilla..

has to told be told to shut up or he will go for two days n yes it does hurt his feelings xx

megan ajala parekh (goes by aja), 22, cisfemale, panromantic, pansexual, listens to too much usher

was raised between the city n a farm a lil while out of town. had to deal w all of the divorce drama worse than either of her parents. they all cut each other off when she was 16 and she’s fake af making jokes abt it, acting like it was the best decision ever but she wasn’t prepared at all ? she was just couch surfing n surviving on birthday money from her grandparents n she was scared but v “no goin’ back now ig!” about the whole situation/

big mess ! also had no idea what she wanted to do but she was actually a huge flop education wise (no offense gf, me too) n ended up in a government programme n through that she just did whatever was recommended so she ended up in aged care n she loves it !

to be fair she loves everything tho so ? that’s not really sayin much. 

super excitable n ott. is always goin’ head first into everything.

as a result she’s also always exhausted n grumpy. one or the other. she can’t calm herself down n maintain a healthy lifestyle. it just doesn’t work.

lives in a disused hospital bc why not. she’s savin’ up for a nice van... to live in... that’s rlly where she sees herself.

except she’s not really saving up bc she’s the definition of headassery and is spending all her money on fast food and expensive sunglasses n hats that she will lose that same week.

i’m falling asleep but naomi scott is a goddess so whom cares 

veronika erikson, 40, cisfemale, biromantic, bisexual, old as mc’heck so she’s actually got a life for me to talk abt

born in denmark, was scouted at 16, lived between paris and new york after that, had massive success as a model. made money, set trends, still pops up in every other #goals pinterest board and #mood instagram tag. was an entire it girl back in the 90s but ! it was never fulfilling.

literally all she wanted ? her entire life ? was to be a mother ? nothing else ? modelling was a good way for her to make money bc realistically she wouldn’t have been happy doing anything that wasn’t raising her own children but she was never satisfied.

NEVER GOT HER BABIES ! despite marrying very young (she was v keen to start a family but she was also super in love) n immediately gettin into it and giving up her career at 23 to be at her prime health-wise, she had no success. suffered a LOT. the fact that the problem could never be identified was obviously super frustrating n stressed her the frick out ? the miscarriages my dude... she’d been through it n would tell herself not to get her hopes up but it was obviously always worlds worst heartbreak every time.

grew to resent her husband bc tho she knew he wasn’t to blame, she needed to put it on someone. never adopted or looked at other options out of (irrational) fear that she’d have the same kind of feelings towards any children that she didn’t birth herself so ! shit didn’t get better. it literally started 10 yrs ago... and it the negative feelings changed in intensity over n over but they somehow managed to survive 10 years n only recently separated so ! she got rid of everything n moved to london for a fresh start where she now flips houses bc she can ig n it gives her smth to do !

honestly would make the best mother ? she’s aunt to the yates siblings (hey huns) and always did the most for her fricken mini-me imogen. beautiful vodka aunt who brings gifts and gushes about u n is here to gossip but is ready to go off on ur ass if u force her to. won’t go around babying people but... if u give her the chance... 

that... that’s her personality... ideal mom in every way.

separates her private n public life very well but doesn’t share her important thoughts or feelings at all. generally a nice but passive person. 

courtney love tweeting about riverdale vibes.

arabella gomfrey, 23, closeted pan princess (literally a princess (cici is shaking)), sofia coppola’s marie antoinette

the whole gomfrey situation will be developed eventually but for now here is this.

they may not be, but bella is a v affectionate person. is wedged firmly up her entire family’s ass. loves her parents n lets them n everyone else know. rlly thinks they’re right about absolutely everything. will agree to n do anything they say.

will do anything anyone says honestly ? as long as it doesn’t come in conflict with what her parents want for her ? tell her to walk off a building bc it’ll make her parents happy n she’ll sit there stressing and considering it for hours.

won’t think for herself but still manages to be a major fake. only tells u what you want to hear, excessively sweet, will not be the one to deliver bad news ever hell nope she’s paying someone to do that for her. 

v cliquey n judgemental. her inner circle is literally just other pretty rich girls. 

loves the whole situation she was born into n has no shame. milks it. does the most. will throw a tantrum when she doesn’t get what she wants. entitled brat !

idk how but she’s the most catholic person you’ll ever meet ? the pope is jealous.

models bc she knows can do whatever the hell she wants without trying ig. just likes the applause.

angela (angel) rosado, 24, panromantic, pansexual, loves girls, Is Beautiful .

yea rosado as in the resort aha... nbd ... was adopted by the rich old rosados when she was 10 n has lived the good life ever since but before that . it was p ugly.

she was literally left on her neighbour’s doorstep when her parents got evicted from their home when angel was 6 months old ? they took her in but ! they struggled ! so a year later when angel’s mother was pregnant again n sorted herself out for a min n came back to claim her so they could be a family or w/e, the people who had been caring for her were obviously like um we rlly should not trust this bich with a baby but we’re abt to be kicked out ourselves so ... they basically forced this image of angel n her mother n the next baby livin happily ever n let her go.

her mother had another girl n angel loved her even tho she was tiny herself... she was (and still is dw her sister is thriving still) crazy abt this baby. she rlly could not love her sister more. their mother wasn’t clean for long, but their father was much worse. when he died 2 yrs later, she quickly worsened too. she was ill n not fit to parent at all but the girls lived with it for 4 yrs before they were taken away. they were told their mother passed away a few months later but neither ever looked into it.

it did not get any better ? in foster care they were bullied ... so bad. they would sneak off everyday to avoid it n then they got in trouble from their carers for doin that like ig you can’t win ! so they were gonna split the sisters up n angel was so ,,, dependent on her lil sister (n got teased for this bc her sister was literally tuckin her in and singing her to sleep every night as if she was the baby) n was not feelin too good about the situation my dudes !

anyways they snuck off to the library soon after n ig hit up The Google for a solution ? n they accidentally ended up reading some story on wtvr gossip site abt these hotel tycoons adopting for the fifth time. angel’s sister.. literally found rosado resorts’ business email . ASKED THEM TO COME ADOPT HER N ANGEL TOGETHER N TAKE THEM AWAY TO LONDON...

n it worked ? luv a (kinda) happy ending

obviously becoming part of a big, rich, sober family in a different country was weird n difficult once the excitement wore off but they made it work. her sister fit in better than her n their parents saw that ? n they noticed she was p much living off of her sister entirely ... but they were v good abt it, they put a lot of time n effort n love into angel n she grew to be THE daddy’s girl of the bunch. like he was good w all of the kids but they always had their (jealous) memes abt angel being the favourite. everyone grew up n moved on, still all v supportive of eachother. angel ? still living near her parents, checkin’ in everyday, still getting everything she wants handed to her.

doesn’t even pretend she’s effectively dealt w the bad memories of her childhood, just straight up acts like she remembers nothing except for her sister singing her to sleep. remembers everything n struggles with it everyday but that’s her business apparently.

likes to let u know that she knows she’s better than u ? better than everyone ? except maybe her sister n her father. doesn’t even like her other siblings. loves them yea, but she doesn’t like them n always starts drama crying to her parents abt how they don’t like her either.

kinda just a real snob yk what i mean ? she’s lit abt her work and her like.. total of 2 friends but otherwise likes to act real unimpressed all the time. 

u would think w the shit she’s seen she would be an understanding person but nope if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t see it.

her parents bought her .. a gym .. for her 20th bday n she opened a few more in the yrs following that and now has celebrities up on instagram posing in angelfit activewear, pretending to drink her protein shakes, u know the deal. she’s v proud of herself.

UM OK WOW its 8am i’ve been working (slowly) at this whole post for 6hrs now n i just forgot i was keeping these short but i can’t pick which details to remove so u know what ? this one stays meaty. thats it tho i think !

also peep her nameless sister in case anyones lookin for muse ideas in the future :P x

N FINALLY... natalya nikolayevna belyakova, natasha works, 27, demiromantic, demisexual, cute ! dont know if u noticed but she’s russian !

these muses just get more n more extreme as u go down the list o wow n still none of them get a coherent introduction. especially natasha bc ? ok so she was raised by dirty money but ... criminal organisations in moscow ... lets not even get into it. let’s say they were big in weaponry.

anyway ! it was just her, her brother n her father. v close. they were weird, everyone knew this. she had no friends, even when she was living out of home to study. her social life was literally whatever dangerous dinner parties her father invited her to n that was it.

it was never that deep (AKA IT WASNT GROSS LIKE EVERY1 MADE IT OUT TO BE) she's literally just shy n angery pup meme. she’s the pretentious smart girl in every story ever who is like “i hate ppl... books cant stab u in the back” like ok relax who asked NERD but she rlly could not escape her family so might as well love them !

um ig her father had her mother killed when natasha was abt 8 yrs old. apparently she was havin an affair. her brother spilled the beans to her yrs later when he was mad at their father. she wanted to be horrified for a second but thought it would change nothing so there was no point. she rlly stanned her father huh ?

he dead too now rip. while natalya was away studying, every1 in their home... her brother, father, everyone workin’ there ... all ... got killed n then the house was torched quick. she knew business had been gettin uglier but this ugly ? [ mari vc ] ruined her fricken LIFE.

one of her father’s creepy old friends eventually had to let her know what happened n how everyone saw it coming or whatever like ok thanks buddy ! natasha’s rlly sad obviously ? doesn’t last long. now ... she’s mad ! now... She’s pissed.

so she’s come to blame this gang that’s heavy in london. she REALLY drops outta school, comes on over, worms her way into their major rival gang n WAITS. she’s been here . for yrs now . and is yet to do . anything ... despite being obsessed with the idea of revenge. she’s playing the long game and making sure she’s getting all the details right bc she’s like Well this is a suicide mission might as well make it count ! its sad but -.- what are u gonna do ? (rival gang subplot coming soon btw whew!)

keeps her desire for actual bloody revenge to herself bc she doesnt wanna look like she’s gonna cause trouble for anyone when she DEFINITELY IS. she only acts angry enough to have her >.> allies >.> belieb that she’s loyal.

obviously committed . obviously she needs some milk .

not a fun person ? unless u tryna die also. but she’s very put together, v professional, cultivated, charming ig when she wants to be, unfortunately adorable, v organized, um what else ? nothin. that’s that. thanks !

THIS IS SO UGLY I CANT BELIEVE I EMBARRASS MYSELF LIKE THIS BUT U KNOW WHAT ! [ CHRIS TRAEGER VC ] LITERALLY ! A MEMEY INTRO POST IS BETTER THAN NO INTRO POST ! GOOD LUCK WITH UR LIVES ! LOVE U ALL !

[sanfranciscoyoginigypsy]

august 13. 2017 3:22 am (dont get frustrated on the time of day u wake up, bc opportunity happens when you let it) somedays its mornings, some its nights don judge

wow wow wow wow

this night

who would have fucking known bro

who would have fucking known. if you were to tell me id be hanging and partying with the elites of fucking african drumming in san francisco, i would have laughed at your face. I went to see Ash today at Dolores and he looked handsome as fucking always, love that pure earth and self loving soul. he is the absolute greatest, and maria met with us and she poured out everything she is overwhelmed and stressed about, it was a bit draining but out of all things I'm glad i got to be a soul to comfort her when she needed it. she invited us to a party on south vaness and 23rd and at ashlin was gonna go but he was tired so he bailed, and we just walked to the party smoking a joint with sage and flowers. when we got there i was a bit uncomfortable bc i knew no one and it was like i was her puppy following her every move bc i felt uncomfortable and shy. but i got to talk to a few people and got out of my shell, it was nice, and oh my god i asked to go to the bathroom to maria and she said she was gonna walk me but then go talk to her friends and i was scared bc i would have been left alone but i accepted it and when i walked out the hall was empty but when i was walking to the bathroom there were these two nice guys and i just waited in the hall not knowing what to do and the guys were in the room and I'm not sure how the exchange went but i ended up conversating with them. we introduced ourselves and oh wait i remember i think i saw them play with the bongo and look at it and i said do u drum and josh (cute blonde muscular tall african crazy drummer) said yes do u and i said yes but drum set and he said me too and we talked so much and he was hyping me up so much and so was the other guy they were so fun we talked a lot about drumming and joshua makes his own drums and drum heads its so nuts and then this guy comes in and it takes a while for us to introduce ourselves but we finally meet and the other guy hands me th drums and i play a little but at first i did a paradiddle and joshua freaked out he boosted my self esteem for sure he's such a great guy and said wow she's fire and i played around jesse (guy he introduced me to) and joshua and the other guy and they freaked out and said wow u better watch it or doors might open up to you and just crazy compliments like theres fire inside me and it was so nice and while i was playing softly they were all talking about how in that business u need connects more than anything- people who know people- and joshua and i really bonded and he pulled me aside and mentioned how he only dreamt of playing like these guys when he was indiana and now he's in the same room partying with them and he mentioned how jesse goes back and fourth to africa and might live there . we pull aside and and dance and drink some wine UGH PERFECT NIGHT and then sometime goes by and now these guys are drumming their souls off and I'm on the side dancing my soul off and we are all just vibing and everyone is having a good time and good energy and crazy african hatian dancing and drumming its inspiring its like i like these adult san francisco parties more bc its inspiring and i meet people who are wise and talented and sweet and off their phones and in the vibe rather than younger college students drinking and trying to get with you.i want to be an african hatian dance and drumming queen! we all took turns summoning the spirit of the african dance and drum and i was shy but the sweet girl next to me insisted it was my turn and when i went i went fucking crazy it was insane i was jumping everywhere and my hair flipped everywhere it was so good and felt amazing and i couldn't stop the drumming was too good and was summoning my spirit and then i danced so much and then they took a break and then jesse got up and went straight to me to hug me and said sorry I'm sweaty and i said its good sweat its drumming sweat and he laughed and we talked more and he said i remind him of some mystical creature and i wa so shocked by the compliment and then said its beautiful when the dancers and drummers vibe off each others energy and was jus saying so many things and people were so nice i love this group i love where I'm at and he drummed some more and i danced some more and at first i was vibing with joshua but i leaned more towards jesse in a way bc just how he talked and how joshua basically put him on a pedestal by saying he's an inspiration to him when he was all across the fucking country and i just thought wow I've always wanted a thing with a musician, jazz but holy fuck hatian drummer are u kidding me. and he said he liked how  i dance and at the end of the night joshua said he liked how i dance - he could tell i understand the drum beats and how i picked a beat to dance to, he just understood. after the second round of dancing me and jesse got to really talk and know each other, but he kind of swiped me from joshua bc originally i was getting up with joshua bc he said lets drink more wine and jesse came and i got carried away with him, we went into the next room and talked a lot. he was also rlly nice, saying I'm so interesting bc i mentioned i was getting into guitar playing in texas and piano in the yoga society and drumming too and he was just like wow ur so interesting, u just do everything and he's so right. i was told so many compliments. we were so engaged in talking that he spent a while trying to find another ride home bc he wanted to stay as long as i did. we talked a lot more and i was just getting lost in his soul. just another level when you're so passionate about vibrations that u went school for it and made a career out of it. i see a light in him that he dims bc he admitted he was ashamed of spending so much time on something, he isn't fulfilled, he wants “a real job” and gave examples like plumbing and mechanic. jesse is cute. he had cute style. when we walked out to drop off his drums he wore a cute khaki windbreaker with his cute khakis. his hair is so big. girls were playing with it and pushed him against the wall. oh on the second round of drumming i played! he sat next to me and i went fucking crazy! i was doing some really fast paradiddles and going so fuckking good! i stole the show! joshua was so nice and said if i wasn't at this party he wouldn't have gone to the next one, or have left. that i was basically the life of th party. he was being just so fucking nice. and that I'm going to take over- that he's glad to see the next generation take over. he has afucking hatian drumming magazine ! and gave the analogy of thrasher- and fucking praised me for skateboarding- he was like - u dont skateboard. he's so nice he made me feel so good and gave me the confidence i needed. anyways hesse and i walked backup stairs and he was holding me and it felt so good- i could help but be open about it- i was like wow that feels so good that you're holding me like that i like it and he entertained that and kept doing it and it felt so fucking nice omg i wanted to make out with him, i put myself against the wall and went to kiss him but it was weird i went back and fourth like 3 times with my head it was a bit awkward now that i look back at it but at the time it was cute bc he said we should probably go up and respected me by not kissing me there i think- giving it more time- bc I've made mistakes on kissing guys too soon and it ruins the magic.... and we went up and before that he really praised me too- he said I'm really grounded- to my roots- its  good to see someone like that and i told him I'm glad he thinks that bc i just did meditation on grounding and its good to know its showing - wow these guys talk so smooth i love it- now this is my kind of fucking party man. when me and him were talking i saw joshua go back and forth looking at us and i felt bad but when we went up stairs i went to the restroom then walked out and caught him and joshua together and heard joshua said well we both have good taste and they looked at me and i feel like they were talking about me. it was soo good. on the third round of drumming i was in between jesse and joshua- joshua sat closer to me and we jammed! i showed them the beat i came up with on the bongos when i was on my way to colorado and everyone freaked out it was doc crazy! maria said it sounded like water or glass shattering i didnt hear to well and joshua totally freaked out and said i got some fire and how he could have never came up with that and how he sees potential in me and in the next generation of drummers- it was so nice! jesse had to go and it was awkward bc he said bye it was nice meeting u ill see u next time but i paused and said ya and we looked at each other and i told him i would walk him out and i did and he said uh ya uh it was nice meeting  u maybe we can exchange numbers and i said ya and we did then hugged and that was the end of that but overall i like his style his laugh his energy his mysteriousness and his drumming (: but he said maybe we can do some drumming together when he asked for my number - not a date or anything. its crazy i got bruises and blisters from slapping the drums so hard my hands are on fire , all swollen and red. mystical creature, he called my little blister cute bc i bragged about blast beats bc he showed me his hand when i said it must hurt and it was all torn up and swollen. when he left me and joshua talked a lot more. but at first when i was playing the drums the 2nd round jesse was giving me a beat on my back and it helped and was nice but i lost confidence again and he was so sorry bc i wanted to stop playing an d he kept saying no u do it ill stop but i refused i was already embarrassed and idk how but we touched hands and i said his were so soft and he kind of rejected it but bc he wanted me to drum its like dont flirt with guys while theres drumming if their drummers bc its all they care about and it was so cute seeing them so passionate about it like nothing else matters and i told him he summoned something in my soul and it was soo good damn I'm meeting lovers through drumming circles its beautiful wow its 4:07 am but I'm not tired i have so much energy and earlier today briksha gave and guided me in a protection meditation and it was so good i love life here its honestly the best and iw wish to paint about it