#if you appear in my notes regularly i probably have a mental nickname for you and i go !!!!!!!! every time i see u

[so-very-small]

being into size for 10+ years means a constant state of “oh!! i want this content my dear mutual has :) let me go check on my beloved” and u go look and their blog has been deactivated for five years. im leaving flowers on their icons

the INVERSE of this is way way better tho. when i’m minding my business scrolling and see a mutual from the heyday posting again and its like. Return of the King. sound the trumpets. call in the minstrels we have to celebrate

[ckneal]

Reapers always fascinated me on Supernatural. My gut tells me that there really wasn’t a lot of thought put into tying the reapers into the angel family, beyond Tessa’s death and how it would pick away at Dean’s mental state, and in a lot of ways it really just made things. . .complicated and weird, even within the same season-long storyline that confirmed reapers as angels. (Looking at you, April.)

According to season 5, humans are outright, pointblank incapable of perceiving an angel’s trueform. Even in Heaven, humans default to seeing any given angel in the form of the last vessel the angel wore on earth, although it is implied that there are some cases where the trueform can be seen in spite of this. Such as with Pamela, who was able to glimpse Castiel’s trueform through her psychic abilities, and Lucifer, who intentionally showed his trueform to Rowena before killing her on earth, and Sam while torturing him in the cage (possibly Adam too, depending on what the rooming situation was like in there). In either case, effort seemed to be a key variable, with physical consequences to the human involved if the vieiwng happens on earth (presumably, Rowena’s eyes would have burned out in the same manner Pamela’s had with Cas--this possibly even giving Lucifer the idea then burn her entire body) but we see Dean stumble upon a reaper in her trueform in season 1 entirely by accident. And, it’s worth noting that the reaper’s trueform does not align with what clues we’re later given about the physical characteristics of an angel. Unlike what Castiel later tells us, reapers appear to be the same size as normal humans, not buildings. And unlike what Zachariah implies, there’s only one head instead of four.

Another detail that I personally found interesting is that the reapers don’t appear to have angelic names. April, Tessa, Betty, Billie, Martin, Violet--all of their names appear to be relatively modern. I know that some of the angels names could also be lumped into this category--Rachel, Rebecca, Daniel, Ezra, etc.--but Billie in particular sounds like a nickname. And other than Cas, Alfie, and Flagstaff (and I think it’s worth noting the latter’s attitude when they elected to go with their vessel’s name instead of their own; their attitude toward Dean clearly lined up with the idea that they expected their real name to be derided and were intentionally not giving him the opportunity), angels overall seem to be uncomfortable with answering to abbreviations of their names. Most don’t really seem interested in changing and updating with the times either, so you can’t just say “Well, maybe they thought it was catchy.” Even Alfie seemed to just nod along rather than actually imply liking that he was being called something other than his actual name. Angels aren’t really presented as being creative and individualistic enough to go for the sort of reinvention that comes with choosing one’s own name. It’s strange that there’s an entire class of angels who actively seem to feel otherwise. 

You know what species is presented as having free will and self expression though? Humans. What if the reapers aren’t actually angels per say, but rather the souls of human who had died while being possessed by an angel? What if a soul infused with angel grace--which is implied to be a bit sticky, traces of it being known to linger in the soul and bodies of humans who give up that monumental yes and live to tell the tale--aren’t scrubbed of it when the human in question finally dies? What if it lingers, and the soul, already implied to be a powerhouse on it’s own in season 6, isn’t fit to be slotted away in the human enclosures, so instead the soul is put to work, in a never ending, doing the grunt of keeping the grand machine that is Death running. That’s why they’re always so overworked, there were only so many humans killed while possessed by angels prior to the apocalypse, what with angels staying away from earth for 2000 years, but then in the madness that came about afterwards, new reapers were probably joining the ranks regularly, leading to the influx of armatures, and eventually, to the rouge reapers we see in the later seasons. And because they’re still carrying around the grace of the angel who died while wearing their skin, the reapers are still able utilize some of the angel tricks, like possession (which, actually, we knew that human ghosts--which are specifically stated to be the same thing as a soul--are able to do that), and utilize those kamikaze body markings. 

I’m not saying that this is definitely how it is! This is just an idea that occurred to me and I had fun with, thinking that maybe somewhere in the background Donnie Finnerman running around, or Rachel’s vessel, or Balthazar’s. And when overhearing that Gabriel was believed dead, the OG Death might have snickered to himself, because he would have known if a new reaper carting around the power of an archangel had joined his ranks.

(And we’re all going to ignore the fact that we know Jimmy Novak made it into Heaven, okay? Yep, we’re ignoring it.)

[fullstop-official]

A Hellish Freak Disaster with Burning Rubble and No Survivors

AKA: Chapter One - July 18

In three days, everything will change.

But right now, Travis Longfield is swatting his free hand at my shoulder as punishment for having my feet up on the space above the glovebox in the Gator – his Wrangler nicknamed aptly for its military-appropriate paint job. I have to laugh a little at his feeble attempt to keep straight on the road and hit me at the same time, more to mock him than anything else. But I finally give in and give up my recline before he takes his chance at the next stop sign to go for the ankles.

“You care about this thing too much, dude,” I tease, “I’m not allowed to sit comfortably – Jesus, I can’t even eat in here!”

“Do you want her to end up like Cole’s car?” The Gator, of course, has always been a her. “He wrecked that Cherokee. It can’t be saved. They should write it off for internal damage.”

“Yeah, okay. Sorry I upset your girlfriend here. I won’t dirty her up.”

“I’m not really worried about that,” he says with a smirk. “You’re not even the one dirtying up your own girlfriend.”

His comment makes my mood immediately plummet, and, as we pull into the Mechis’ driveway behind a sleek, black Lexus, my mood suddenly becomes a satellite that drops from the stratosphere, falling down, down, down toward the earth at thousands of miles per hour and on fire. Travis parks the Gator and we both climb out. He takes a moment to pull his guitar case from the back seat before we go about picking our way around the aforementioned Lexus and Cole’s hopelessly-stained, wrapper-littered Grand Cherokee to reach the side door to the garage.

We enter, and we’re the last two to arrive. Cole is sprawled out on the duct-taped loveseat by the wall that’s way too tiny to fit all of him. He looks over and his shaggy and badly-highlighted hair flips naturally as his head turns. Still, our appearance isn’t enough to steal his attention away from loudly strumming a progression of power chords on his guitar in order to mess with Matt. Matt is attempting to tune his bass on the other side of the room in spite of the noise, but probably isn’t having an easy time without anything that resembles quiet. Bryson is on the beat-up couch opposite of Cole, scribbling in a binder that’s full of schedules, sets, general to-do lists, and other notes that he says are necessary and need to be kept – though the entire thing is so crammed with papers that it will explode one day.

My satellite mood fails to brace for impact and crashes against the ground, colliding in a hellish, freak disaster with burning rubble and no survivors when I see the Lexus’ owner practicing the screeches that she calls “vocal warmups” by her mic stand, front and center. Saying she’s my mortal enemy undoubtedly makes me sound like some sort of comic book supervillain, but I’ve never come up with anything more accurate and less theatrical and childish to describe what we have. Our rivalry would probably take an entire war map with battalions and flags to comprehend.

I met Selena Walton when we were in seventh grade – briefly – but truly got to know and dislike her the following year when our feud officially ignited. It was just shortly after that, during the same year, that the rest of us really jumped on the idea of forming the band and, by the end of eighth grade, we’d seen it through.

There was just one problem. I play the drums. Travis is lead guitar, and Cole is on second. Matt plays bass. Bryson covers keyboard when we need it for certain songs, but otherwise acts as our manager. We were good on our own, just the five of us, but when things started getting more and more serious, we had a debate about lyrics.

Cole is an incredible singer – when he’s singing unclean vocals (the screamo parts). When it comes to singing regularly, he may as well just strangle a bird on stage; the sound it would make is more or less the same. Our preferred genre of punk and its “close-enough” offshoots (we’ve found that a healthy mixture brings in a bigger audience) are starting to blur the lines a little, but we all agreed that we wouldn’t be a full-fledged screamo band. We resolved to use his talent conservatively. The rest of the guys couldn’t carry a tune to save their lives.

I can sing, but drummers stay at the back of the stage, and squishing the two roles together makes the show lose a certain kind of energy. The audience generally likes to see the singer while they’re singing. I can sing backup, but there needs to be someone up front. A hype man.

Enter Selena Walton. Unwelcomely welcomed to the band after our first five months of minimal lyrics with a three-to-two vote.

And whom I hate more than anyone else in the universe.

And maybe it would be slightly better if she didn’t front our band. I have nothing against female punk singers, or really just female singers in general. Many of them are good, even pretty great. Selena, however, is an exception. She hates the vast majority of the music that we perform. And, though what she does is technically considered singing, she is an alto who thinks she’s a soprano, which is the worst kind of alto and does not make for a spectacular – or even subpar – show. Her signature style is going up a few too many notes at the end of nearly every line, regardless of whether or not she can hit them, and it is such a pain to listen to that I’m surprised my head hasn’t shattered like glass, or exploded like Bryson’s band binder is going to do. This is all in addition to her entitled, annoying, spoiled brat attitude which is all wrapped up into one short, oblivious, bitchy, brunette package.

I wish that was the end of it, but, devastatingly, having Selena as our lead singer isn’t even the terrible part. I can deal with that. But about a year ago, band practice went from being the few hours a week that I had to tolerate the fact she exists to my own, personal hell.

Bryson’s managerial skills are sharp, but PR-wise he tends to run things like a scripted reality TV show in order to make us stand out from other local acts so people can invest in our “personal” lives. I don’t know what celebrity dating scandal gave him the idea, but a fake inter-band relationship was proposed and, by some weird misfortune, not immediately vetoed. After a ton of arguing, I literally drew the short straw.

Selena Walton is my fake girlfriend.

And I hate her.

At the very least, after a year of playing pretend (and having her hang off of me during shows after spitting in my face behind the scenes), I haven’t actually been forced to kiss her or anything yet. I think I’d have to tear off my lips and cauterize the wounds if that happened.

Bryson still sticks to his delusional claim that having us fake date is a good thing for the band, even though it causes more drama when we’re alone together than it ever does when we’re out in the public eye. I’m not sure how much longer we’ll be able to keep it up because Selena only acts like she’s staying faithful to me when, in reality, she’s probably slept with every guy who’s ever looked at her for more than five seconds. Pretending that I tolerate her is a tough challenge, but I deserve an Oscar for acting like I love her.

And so, when Travis and I walk in, she pretends to ignore me, but I watch her in my peripheral when she thinks I’m not paying attention. She gives me a look; it’s a spiteful, almost disgusted scowl. For what it’s worth, I’m glad she can just barely endure my mere presence. It’s the one thing about this entire situation that makes me feel all happy and light inside.

Travis sets his case down to take out his guitar, and I go sit on the arm of the couch next to Bryson. Since we cleared out his garage to act as our rehearsal space, my setup has lived here permanently and I’m the only one who ever touches my drums. They only move for gigs, and I don’t have much to prepare before practice.

Cole gives me a subtle nod, but doesn’t stop strumming one of our originals. “S’up, Scott,” he greets me. He uses my last name instead of my first. Bryson, Matt, and Cole have all done that as long as I’ve known them – apparently, the single syllable of my surname is easier than having to waste energy saying the two in Morgan.

I glance over Bryson’s shoulder after nodding back. The paper he’s mentally wrestling with has July twentieth – Friday’s date – and the time of our show at the top. The rest is the final setlist he’s been compiling that has only just been finished. It takes us a long time to decide which songs we’ll be playing, and in what order. (I blame Selena.) The one thing that Bryson has left blank is the space after encore:.

We always do an encore. And it’s always a Paramore song because they’re the only non-objectionable option Selena likes. Paramore is an amazing group, and I do like their music, but if she doesn’t learn to like literally anyone else, I’ll start to lose my goddamn mind.

Bryson taps his pen against the paper for another minute, and then grabs the list and, leaving the space empty, shuts the binder. Our logo is on the front of it, slipped into the plastic cover. It’s just a black circle with our band name, Full Stop., inside of it in an all-caps, blocky, white font. We let Cole design it – we’d said we wanted something simple, and, though it looks like something that was created in Microsoft Paint (and it probably was), he’d delivered. Selena thinks it’s too plain, which is why I think it’s the most wonderful graphic in the world. I wear one of our T-shirts as much as possible and I’m met with her judgy glare each time.

I watch Bryson set the binder aside and look over the setlist another time before rising. “I guess we can start,” he announces. Cole’s instrument abruptly stops. The garage, however, is not entirely silent. Matt and Travis use the absence of guitar riffs to actually tune their instruments. At the very least, Selena shuts up.

I proceed over to my kit, and purposefully bump Selena’s shoulder with my arm as I pass. She’s about five-foot-four – about a head shorter than me – and it irritates her when I “accidentally” run into her. It makes my whole day. I sit on the stool and the others slowly start to claim their positions. Cole drags his amp over from the loveseat, and Travis pulls the elastic from his hair so it falls just to his shoulders. He claims having it loose helps him rock harder. I fail to see the correlation, but he’s a damn good guitarist, so I try not to question his methods.

As Matt takes his place, and Selena taps her microphone to make sure no one (me) has muted it behind her back again, I put my earplugs in and grab my sticks. They feel like an extension of my body when I hold them – like having just a little bit more to my arms. My nerves begin to hum with anticipation. I saw the first song and I’m pumped to play it.

Bryson gets started and reads the set from the paper like always: song title, and then the artist for Selena’s music-illiterate benefit. He only skips the artist if it’s one of our originals – at least she knows the titles of those. And she seems to tolerate singing them. Sometimes.

“Okay, open with This Could Be Anywhere in the World – Alexisonfire. Selena will take a sec to introduce everything, then Silver Bullet – Hawthorne Heights, right into Bring Me To The Light. Selena can improvise something after that. Green Day’s Holiday smoothly into Boulevard of Broken Dreams, then You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid – The Offspring, and this is the working title for the story of two crazy kids.”

“We never really found a title for that, did we?” Travis says teasingly. He throws a small smirk my way.

“No,” I agree in a similar manner, “We really didn’t.”

If he’s going to make fun of me, I’m taking it in stride. I wrote that particular number, and a fair chunk of our other originals. I think that sometimes my titles are pretty good, even when they’re just chorus lyrics. But sometimes – well, they’re that.

“Selena improvises something, and then we go to the Red Block,” Bryson continues without missing another heartbeat. I’m pretty sure I hear his voice raise a little to grab our focus again. “Red Flag – Billy Talent, Red Sam – Flyleaf, and Something Different – Red As Dusk. Selena says stuff. Changing – Saosin. Pressure – Paramore. Selena talks. Be Like The Zeros. Kiss Me, Kill Me – Mest, and Selena introduces the final song. Strong finish with Postcards – Amber Pacific. Got it?”

Four of us nod, or make our brief sounds of agreement. Selena ruins the unanimous confirmation.

“And my encore?”

“If I keep thinking about that, I’ll have a fucking aneurysm,” Bryson says with a straight face. He passes her the setlist. He knows if we start having that discussion now, this won’t be a rehearsal, it’ll be a homicide. “Just run through what we’ve got. We can look at that when I know this set is okay.”

She mutters, “Well, for once I’d like to know what we’re doing before the night of the gig.”

“Yeah, then maybe we could do something other than Misery Business, or Still Into You, or Rose-Colored Boy, or – no, wait. That’s about it, huh?”

She doesn’t turn, but she does stick her middle finger up at me. I hear Travis try to softly suppress amused laughter; a small, entertained huff escapes him. She hates me. It’s so great.

“Please just practice the damn set.” Bryson’s voice has shifted to something like exhausted pleading. He’s not in the mood to break up a fight today. I mean, he’s going to have to anyway – there’s not a single doubt in my mind there – but he doesn’t want to. He always gets this way so close to a show. The stick doesn’t come out of his ass until the stage lights go off.

To ease his stress a little, we do as he says.

This Could Be Anywhere in the World is one of Cole’s favourites to perform because nearly half of it is unclean vocals. This means that it’s one of my favourites to perform because Selena’s unstable wailing only has to pierce my auricular space half as much.

And it’s a ton of fun to play on drums.

Once she’s butchered her way through Silver Bullet and one of our originals, I’m introduced as the representative from California by one of Travis’ very few spoken contributions during Holiday. Even though its absolutely necessary, Selena hates the fact that I’m the best she’s got for clean backup vocals that won’t make our audience’s ears bleed. She especially despises this brief part Matt and I share – my voice and drumming and his iconic bass line – simply because it takes the attention off of her for nearly a full bridge. I sing the rebellious lyrics with a smirk shot her way. She flips me off.

Selena hates singing You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid, and sings this is the working title for the story of two crazy kids terribly in an attempt to annoy me. She makes it painfully obvious that she’s suffering through the Red Block, and gets a smidge better during Changing because a Paramore song follows. She always complains that I use too much cymbal during Pressure. I wonder if she’s actually listened to the song, or if she’s just deaf.

I watch her reach for the list again as it comes to a close and beat her to it.

“I Love How You Say We Can Be Anything But Treat Us Like Shit.”

“That’s not what it’s called!” she snaps.

“Sorry. Be Like The Zeros, parentheses: I Love How You Say We Can Be Anything But Treat Us Like Shit.”

She turns a bit just so I have the luxury of seeing her roll her eyes.

“What? Do I need to say it backwards too?”

I can visibly see the rage manifest inside of her head and, with another smirk that I can’t help at this point, and that I can’t say is innocent, I launch into a hidden talent that frustrates her to no end. I don’t know exactly how I came across it, I just know that I’m able to do it and she’s not. Travis can do it as well, and he watches me with amusement as I drive Selena up the wall. I picture the smoke coming out of her ears as she glares at me.

“Tihs ekil su taert tub gnihtyna eb nac ew yas uoy woh evol I,” I recite. “Bryson knows the title – he wrote it!”

“Just start the damn song, Scott,” Bryson sighs rather than taking a side, even though I’m right.

I don’t give Selena the chance to have the final word. The crash cymbal screams beneath my stick in the intro. Thankfully, Bryson purposefully wrote this song in the right key for her alto voice, so I don’t have to hear her try and fail to sing outside of her vocal range.

 “My mind is clouded like a smokehouse / I think I need a light to find what I was gonna say / My body’s numb and feeling funny / Lost here in a strange place / Just another average day.”

 I’m sure Bryson is relieved when we finally make it to the end of Postcards without another interruption. The first hour of practice ends with our finalized setlist played in full and no unstoppable brawls.

“Can we talk about my encore now, Bryson?” Selena demands at the final note, ever the princess.

Bryson starts to look as if he would rather eat his own hand than discuss the encore and incite her wrath, but also that he knows if we don’t talk about it beforehand, we’ll have to pick ten minutes before the show and we’ll end up doing Let The Flames Begin again.

“Okay, fine,” he relents. “Band meeting.”

I set down my sticks and pull out my earplugs as the guys put their guitars on the assorted stands. Selena leaves her mic and goes to take a seat. She hates sitting on the furniture because everything in here is a relic too shitty for a thrift store; it’s all either tearing, patched with duct tape, or just too stained or dusty to be used by anyone other than a semi-successful garage band in LA. Selena’s in one, but she doesn’t act like it.

We make it a habit to sit as far away from each other as possible. Matt and Bryson take the loveseat where Selena’s perched herself on the one not-duct-taped arm that’s probably going to need a layer of the stuff in about a month. Travis, Cole, and I take the couch.

“Thoughts?” Bryson asks. I can tell he’s bracing himself.

I am too, but I keep my mouth shut and wait for Selena to get her terrible idea out of the way first.

“We should do Ain’t It Fun,” she pitches. “It’s always a crowd-pleaser.”

“It would be if our regular crowd hadn’t already heard you sing it a hundred thousand times.”

“What’s fucking wrong with that?” Her angled eyebrows raise, and I can already see her pupils filling up with fire. If anyone else had said it, she wouldn’t be as pissed off, and that simple fact alone is why I argue in the first place.

“Should I say it forwards or backwards?” I demand. She scowls. “They’re getting bored! If we lose the audience at Underground, we won’t get gigs, and Full Stop. is just fucked! Back me up here, Bryce.”

Selena whips her head around to glare at Bryson so fast that I expect her to break her neck, and I’m almost disappointed when she doesn’t. Bryson’s biting into his cheek, not wanting to say that I’m right in order to avoid her fury, but not denying it either. The others show their agreement plainly – Matt’s mouth takes on an uncertain slant, eyes bright, and Cole can’t stop himself from nodding subtly. Travis wears a smirk. He always takes my side in this war.

“Oh, fuck you guys!” she spits. Her defeat is a delicate sound. It’s like music to my ears.

“What do you want to do, Scott?” Bryson asks. His voice is calm, a mediator.

“We already have a Paramore song in the set. We can’t do another. We need to try something new this time. An original, or–” I rifle through my mental music library. I know which songs we’ve done, and all of the options we haven’t ever tried because Selena is a brat with bad taste. “Maybe actually try some My Chemical Romance for once? They’re a fucking staple to the punk-pop genre.”

“Ew, no,” Selena interrupts. “Veto.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Where do I start? They’re terrible.”

“First of all, how dare you.”

“Here we go,” Bryson sighs. He goes unheard.

“Second, do you have a better idea?”

“Yeah, like fifty! We should do something by The Chainsmokers.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“What? They’re good!”

“No, they’re overplayed! The crowd will be asleep before we even start. They’re not even punk!”

“You’re such a fucking snob!”

“Wow! Look, everyone! The pot is calling the kettle black!”

“Guys! Holy fuck – calm down!” Bryson’s voice cuts through us both. He’s rubbing his temples to curb the migraine Selena’s clearly bringing upon him. “Can we all remember that music is subjective?”

For a moment, the silence rests. Travis is clearly entertained and firmly stuck on my side. Bryson’s trying to fight off that brain aneurysm he promised himself. Cole and Matt are somewhere between rolling their eyes and coming up with an excuse to leave.

Selena is on the brink of completely detonating. Her jaw is set, posture disturbed and rigid. She doesn’t remove her beady, flaming eyes from me, and looks like she’s trying to murder me with her sheer force of will. In her imagination, she’s probably stabbing me with one of my drumsticks. Her tiny fists are clenched.

“Marianas Trench,” she says through her teeth.

“Are you joking? You’d need a church choir just to sing half their crap,” I say. “Dead Kennedys.”

“Veto. Ed Sheeran.”

“Worse than The Chainsmokers. Jimmy Eat World.”

“What? With their one fucking song? Vance Joy.”

“Who?”

That one really makes her mad, so I grin as I say it. She knows I know who Vance Joy is – if only because she’s mentioned him four million times and butchered one of his stupid indie songs over and over again with her shrieking.

“Good Charlotte,” I suggest.

She rolls her eyes. “Twenty One Pilots.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Really?” For a brief moment, I watch her little, round face light up.

“Yeah, as soon as you can rap, feel free to buy us all synths and ukuleles. I’m sure your Daddy can afford it.”

She’s so angry that I can nearly see her brain boiling. There are a few Twenty One Pilots songs I would willingly relent to adding to a Full Stop. setlist, but at the moment I know she’s too pissed off to even name one. I almost want to laugh.

“Taylor. Swift,” she hisses, enunciating every single syllable with a seething staccato. She knows I would never agree to it and that’s the only reason why she suggests it. Everything she ever does or says is designed to make me mad. In this way, we’re one and the same.

So, I mimic her tone. “Fuck. No.” And I’m just about to throw out The Gits – not that Selena could ever dream to live up to Mia Zapata’s legacy – when–

“Wait!”

The single word from Cole breaks our staring contest. I still feel my blood thundering from the rush of adrenaline that comes with pushing Selena to her breaking point, but I turn my attention on him. Cole’s straightened up from his lax slouch and, even though he’s sitting, he’s still a human tower – it’s no wonder the football coach spent nearly two years trying to recruit him. His eyes are stretched wide with an idea.

“What?” Travis asks.

He takes the question, but turns to me. His massive hand is slapped against his forehead, an indication of an epiphany. “Punk Goes Pop.”

“Excuse me?” Selena demands. Her teeth are clenched, and her brows are high.

Cole doesn’t need to explain it to me – I’ve caught onto his idea the second my mental music library dredges up the collection. He elaborates for everyone else.

“Yeah, okay, so Fearless Records has this series where they have punk bands cover pop songs, and, like, they’ve done some Taylor Swift stuff. Uh, You Belong With Me, Trouble – oh!” – he claps abruptly as the next idea enters his head and, again, his eyes turn on me, full of excitement and what appears to be an ego boost due to his own perceived genius. He’s gesticulating with the approximate energy of a German Shepherd – “Blank Space from the volume six rerelease! Dude, I Prevail goes so fucking hard on it! I had it on repeat for a month, and I can do Eric Vanlerberghe’s parts no problem!” He’s practically already playing air guitar.

“There. See? It’s a compromise,” Matt agrees.

And maybe it seems too good to be true…

Because it is.

“Yeah, too bad we can’t do it,” I object. Bryson sighs audibly and mutters under his breath. “If we let her sing the clean vocals, it won’t sound anything like a punk song! She’ll just try to sing it exactly like the original and fuck it up!”

“Fuck you!” Selena fires at me.

“Then you sing it, Morgan.”

I give myself whiplash turning to look at Travis, and the energy of the garage turns palpable – a thick, stunned tension that I could slice through with a razor blade and a ton of effort. Arms crossed over his chest, Travis shrugs, completely relaxed and completely, unbelievably serious.

In an instant, the initial surprise melts away, and I’m more confused by his proposal than I am shocked – or maybe it’s just an intense mixture of both. But the point is that I can’t sing it! I’m a drummer! That’s the only reason she’s even here in the first place!

“What?! No!”

“Yeah! ‘What?! No!’” Selena parrots me. For once, we’re actually in agreement on something.

“Why not? You’ve got a good voice, and I know you know the song.”

“Who’s going to play the drums?!” I reason. “That’s why she’s here!”

“I suggested Taylor Swift! I don’t want him singing it!” Selena protests.

“Exactly! Then she can’t hog the stage and be an attention whore and has to settle for being a regular–”

“Morgan,” Travis interjects (scolds), still calm despite presenting me with an insane idea just a moment ago. Selena flips me off with a look of pure hatred. I generally don’t like to push it that far, but I stand by what I was about to say. Her name is synonymous with it.

“I’ll find someone to drum for you,” Bryson says.

I scoff. “What? Am I that easily replaceable?! You’re all fucking ridiculous!”

“Scott,” Bryson starts in his middleman voice. I look at our manager and lift a brow. He seems to wait until everyone has copied me and all eyes are on him.

And then he supports Travis’ idea.

Using some of the most glorious words I have ever heard in my life.

“If we can just get this over with – pick the cover of Blank Space with you on clean vocals so this discussion will fucking stop – you can dump Selena.”

I have no idea what to say.

So it comes out unfiltered.

“Oh, screw you, Bryson.”

Not meant to be hurtful. Just… I can’t even explain it – just some sort of instinctual, astonished reaction.

I would be free of Selena Walton. And I would get to steal her encore.

But I would have to sing front-and-center. Even though it’s a cover, it’s still a Taylor Swift song. I wouldn’t have to sing all of it – about half the vocals in I Prevail’s version are unclean, so Cole would take them. But it’s still a tough debate.

I can’t really feel my body. I guess the shock is still settling in. Or it has settled in pretty deep and fried my nerves or something. But, while I’m internally wrestling against my own opinions, I dare to steal a look at Selena that ends up lasting longer than just a glance. Her eyes are narrowed, her jaw is tight, and her back is rod straight. She’s still inconsolably pissed at the idea that she could end up without an encore even though she’s had plenty already, but I see something else underneath that.

She wants me to take it. She doesn’t want to have to pretend to be shackled to me any longer. The feeling is mutual.

They’re all staring at me as I weigh the pros and cons a few more times.

In the end, I look Bryson dead in the eyes using what I can only describe as a defeated, cold glare.

“I want it in writing.”

Chapter: 2

[snk-oc-guide]

Guinevere Arlert

Sorry it’s a bit long!

Name: Guinevere Arlert Meaning: White shadow, white wave. Nickname: Gwen Alias: Eve Smith

Age: 26 Gender: Female Species: Human Birthday: 13 May Birthplace: Wall Rose (Undefined town) Current Residence: Wall Rose Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Relationship Status: Complicated Languages Spoken: German, English

rowan: i said this before but, the inhabitants of the wall speak in a made-up “un-named” language. all other languages are since dead to them. unless a specific family’s ancestors have worked hard on preserving their “mother tongue” and have passed it down exclusively to the family through the years. it would be easier to just delete the “languages” section from your bio completely.

Life-Long Dream: Explore outside world Goals: Join Survey Corps Likes: Animals, cooking, combat technique Dislikes: Strength training, loud sounds (people based) Bad Habits: Muttering, avoiding eye contact, unclear speech Hobbies: Cooking, 3DMG training, combat Fears: Being touched, her brother and sister dying, The Walls falling.

Personality: Sweet, shy, cunning, quiet

Gwen has a lot of trust issues concerning physical contact. She has an extremely high IQ and is agile and sneaky. She comes across as very shy when you first meet her. That said, even people who have known her for years still find she’s quiet, reserved and even skittish in some situations. The only time she’s really ever comfortable and ‘in her element’ is when she’s on a mission. She’s completely focused and ready to give commands.

rowan: the definition for “cunning” is “having skill in achieving one’s ends by deceit.” if she is shy and sweet, than i doubt she is going to be cunning or manipulative at all.

also, being shy, it won’t be easier for her to “take the lead” and give orders, despite missions being her element. it would be something she has to work past and grow out of. instead of shy, i would call her “antisocial”, in which she is awkward in social situations, and/or doesn’t really want to be in other people’s company/interact with them. just because she is quiet, doesn’t mean she is shy! but people always assume that, so i would keep that assumption in the bio. as i can see a bunch of the characters making that mistake.

Favorites:

Foods: Sweet rice, fruitcake

Colors: Blue and light grey

Seasons: Autumn

Activities: Cooking, horse riding,

Time of Day: Dusk

Appearance:

Height: 5’ 2”

Weight: 54 kg

Hairstyle: Short, slightly curly, kept in a messy bun mostly.

Hair Color: Blonde

Eye Color: Hazel (red and gold hints)

rowan: hazel eyes don’t have red tints to them, or any eye color really. that’s a bit too unnatural for the snk-verse. hazel eyes typically look like a mix of brown and green.

Skin Tone: Pale beige

Body Shape/Build: Small build, squishy tummy

Birthmarks: Several on her neck

Scars: One on her right ankle from a piece of shrapnel impaling it.

Health:

Memory (any issues with this?): None

Sight (do they need glasses?): No

Mental: Mild anxiety, Social Anxiety Disorder

Physical: Average

Sleep patterns: 4 hours (at most)

rowan: definitely not a healthy amount of hours to be sleeping.. especially with that “at most” there. if you’ve ever had to run on only four hours (or less) of sleep, then you’d know it’s shit and you feel sick and sluggish. that behavior from a soldier could be fatal.

if she has a reason for lack of sleep (nightmares, perhaps?) then at least raise it up to 5 hours in the least.

Allergies/Other: Mild touch aversion

Abilities/Statistics:

3DMG: 8/10- Technique is refined with natural aerial balance

Intelligence: 11/10- Classed as a technical ‘genius’, high factor IQ

Martial Arts: 7/10- Technique is ideal, however strength is somewhat lacking

rowan: strength behind hits is a big part of fighting. if her strength is a problem, then her stat should be lower. an idea of something is nothing when compared to putting it into action. i would give it a 5 or 6.

Battle Skill: 8/10- Endurance and strength are missing factors

rowan: no idea what battle skill is supposed to apply to, so i’m crossing this out. in my opinion, battle skill speaks for fighting abilities and strategic plays, but martial arts and strategy is already listed. so it cancels out.

Agility: 8/10- Naturally balanced on the ground, but speed is only used in short bursts

rowan: for someone who gets at most, 4 hours of sleep, her agility should be about a 4 or 5. she may feel energetic at one point (a side effect of being sleep deprived), but that short spark will die down and she’ll just be tired and slow-going.

Strategy: 9/10- Intellect contributes greatly under pressure

Initiative: 7/10- When in command of her squad, she does well with coordinating attacks and formations, however struggles when placed elsewhere

rowan: unless you’re going to remove “shy” trait from her personality, her initiative needs to be much lower. i would put it at a 3 or 4. shy people, definitely won’t be the ones to take control when the situation allows it.

if she is shy, and can’t exactly lead because of it, i wonder how she is commanding her own squad at all.

Teamwork: 3/10- Fearful of people and struggles with communication when not in her own squad

Passion: 10/10

rowan: overall, these stats need some work. it’s odd that she seems to be good at everything except teamwork. it looks a little too op, and a lot like levi’s stats.

Affiliation: Survey Corps Grad. Rank: 2nd Status: Alive

Relationships:

Parents: Unnamed (Deceased), Erwin Smith (adoptive brother)

Siblings: Armin Arlert (younger brother), Kira Arlert (twin sister)

Love Interest: Levi Ackerman

Best Friend: Erwin Smith

Friends: Mikasa Ackerman, Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert

Heroes: Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith

Quote: “Never to suffer would to have never been blessed.”

History/Life:

Eve Smith was born Guinevere Arlert. At age eight, she was playing with her twin sister, Kira, in the street with the other girls in their neighbourhood. Her little brother, Armin, was just 1 year old. After the sun went down, they continued playing hide-and-seek in the back streets, alone. Gwen was grabbed by unknown hands and knocked out. When she woke up, she was tied up with many other young girls and boys. All she heard was voices talking about all the awful things old men would do to the children. She was regularly beaten over the course of the week’s journey. Lucky for her, a squad of soldiers intercepted and took her to the nearest town. She was given to the Smith family and told, for safety purposes, her new name was Eve Smith.

rowan: the kidnapping thing is a reasonable and realistic event. giving a random child to the smith family? not so much.. and for safety purposes? what safety purposes? it doesn’t click to me.

from what i’ve read, gwen doesn’t have anything special or extraordinary about her to make her a prime target for constant kidnappings. she was probably just unlucky that time. plus, the squad of soldiers intercepted the and took in the kidnappers, thus the danger was over and she should have been sent home.

Gwen grew up very close to Erwin, they both showed an avid interest in the outside world. Gwen was very quiet and nervous, hardly talking to anyone but Erwin. When he decided to join the military after their father was killed, she went with him, to join the Scouts. Upon joining, she showed natural talent with the 3DMG and was very agile. Her endurance and strength training was a struggle for her though, but she made up for it with her intellect and agility in gymnastic feats.

When training, she met Kira. Identical twins, but complete personality opposites. Once realising they were sisters, they became very close again and formed a tight bond, Gwen and Kira graduated at age 16, 2nd and 6th rank, respectively. Once graduating, Erwin and Levi were sent to the South Scout regiment and Kira and Gwen were sent to the North. After two years showing off high skill and ability, they were moved to the Elite squad, Gwen eventually taking over as Captain Arlert (from graduation, she earns this rank after a total of eight years). (Story takes off sometime between now and next paragraph)

rowan: if gwen was kidnapped at age eight, she would still be able to remember her original family clearly. thus, she would remember kira, and already know she is her sister.

also, there is no such thing as the “south regiment” or “north regiment” there is only “the scout regiment”. another note would be that levi isn’t in the story yet.. he doesn’t enter the survey corps until much latter, when erwin has already taken place as the commander, and he is captured and forced into joining.

i should also point out that erwin and her wouldn’t have been in the same training corps, since he’s older than her (early thirties at least).

After a long mission, in the year 854, with few casualties, they return to Wall Rose. A parade through the streets with the body of a 6m Titan they captured and two days later, Gwen and Kira sit on the streets with their elite members, Tristan, Morgan, Enid, and Gareth. They spent the day on their 3DMG sets, traveling to the South, where the Southern Regiment are returning the next day.

When they arrive, Gwen waits in the crowd, excited to see Erwin. They watch as the Scouts arrive, beaten and weighed down with the dead. The people are not happy. Captain Levi walks up front, clearly exhausted and defeated. Abuse is hollered from the crowd, majorly differing from the reception they got. Kira grips her sister’s hand and pulls her out in the street, stopping the Scouts from moving forward. Kira screams back at the crowd, angered and vengeful. Gwen spots a young man rushing towards Levi from behind with a stick poised to strike. On an impulse, she wrestles him to the ground, gaining an advantage by surprising him. Once other Scouts assist in holding him down and Kira helps her sister up, Erwin finds them. Levi mutters a word of hurried thanks and leaves. Erwin offers them a room with the South Scouts.

I don’t know if she’s too sue-ish. I’d love any constructive criticism or  comments you have!

rowan: overall, gwen could use a little tweaking. i would completely overhaul her backstory. you could keep the part where she is kidnapped, but do not have it so she is given to the smith family. just send her back home.

so! yeah! just work on the things i pointed out (or at least think them through) and you’ll be good to go.