#if we look slightly to the left we can avoid the trauma. the family drama. the nightmare xanathar and halaster and Sigil?? plot

[waspgrave]

My dnd character got to do The Romantic Cheek Touch as they talk about emotions and share secrets (her being a changeling and him showing his face) to her love interest yesterday and oof…Romance *is not acknowledging the traumas or the horrors*

[jeongyunhoed]

The third and final story in the 100-Day trilogy, taking place four years after the events of The 100-Day Relationship and two years since the events of I Do. When the patriarch of the Choi family suffers a heart attack, the entire clan decides to visit the estate in the hopes of getting in his good graces and parts of his fortune before he passes. Seonghwa and Juhyun now find themselves clashing with nosy relatives who threaten to split them up and have her removed from any possible inheritance.

Inheritance 

Member: Seonghwa Pairing: Seonghwa/OC Genre: I’m going to say angst-fluff, drama, intrigue. Things to note: Art Curator!Hwa, a lot of crazy rich stuff again (for real, this will have A LOT), and perhaps some adult-y things.

Watch out!: More drama ahead. References of childhood trauma/emotional abuse being one of them. Bitchy relatives ahead. Seriously.

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long but be assured that I finished this. Things just seem to get worse before they get any better for our two main characters. Tag list is open as always.

Tag list: @kflixnet , @treasure-hwa    

Masterlist

Chapter 3

The air was tense by dinner time, as everyone in the Choi clan gathered around what would be the large dining room, with a table so long Seonghwa thought it must have been taken from some castle or made just for the family patriarch. The two of them did some light catching up with Juhyun’s other relatives like Daeyoung’s sisters Chaeyeon and Yeri, both of whom attended the wedding as Seonghwa remembered. Seonghwa even engaged in conversation with Yeri’s banker husband, Kim Minhyuk, who congratulated him during the wedding for being another man to marry into the Choi family. Seonghwa wasn’t sure if he meant it nicely or as an insult. 

The dining room was just as large and opulent. While in keeping with the French rococo style, the table napkins were apparently heirlooms coming from Juhyun’s great-grandfather Choi Hyunbin, which explained their slightly aged appearance. Each place setting had the various spoons, forks, and even chopsticks laid down, along with several glasses that were meant to hold various drinks according to whichever they wanted. 

Seonghwa looked over to another, much smaller table in the room, where Yeri’s twin children, Seoeon and Seojun were with their helper who introduced herself as Lucy. Daeyoung’s teenage son, Choi Soohyuk also opted to sit with his cousins at the smaller table. Seonghwa later learned that Soohyuk wanted to avoid his father’s continued bragging about the wealth he has come under despite Japan’s inheritance taxes. 

Juhyun glanced at her husband. “If it’s overwhelming for you, we can have our dinner up in the room,” She whispered in his ear. 

Seonghwa chuckled and shook his head. “No need, Juhyun. We should join everyone for dinner at least once. But I’ll take you up on that in the next few days while we’re here,” He whispered back, his hand reaching to hold hers. 

The rumbling conversations among the family members started to die down when the maids started to enter the room carrying various platters and dishes full of food. Seonghwa and Juhyun glanced at Hyungsuk, who was seated at the head of the table, with Juhyun’s father and uncle sitting on his immediate right and left. Hyungsuk looked pleased at the food that was being set down. 

“All of you can tuck in, go ahead,” Hyungsuk gestured to them. 

“What about you?” Hyunwoo’s wife, Jina suddenly asked, with Dajeong looking equally concerned. Everyone was still quite hesitant to do so.

“I’m fine, if you had to wait for me to start eating before the rest of you, it’d take us forever,” Hyungsuk joked. “But in all seriousness, all of you should start, allow me to indulge seeing everyone in the family at home.” 

As if in an instant, most of them now turned to Hyunwoo, who also gestured for them to eat. Sangmin seemed to have gotten the message from the other table, tucking into his bowl of french onion soup, the sounds of the cheese toast on top crackling and making everyone’s mouth water. Daeyoung, however, looked unimpressed. Seonak was also in disbelief, huffing when she had to take the platter of filet mignons to place one on her topmost plate, setting aside her bowl of soup. 

“So, Seonghwa, do you have any plans to attend the art events?” Seonak suddenly turned to him in the midst of the continued conversations. Juhyun and Jihyun exchanged knowing looks. 

Seonghwa immediately remembered their conversation at the guest villa earlier. “I’d hope to if I ever get an invite,” He chuckled. 

“You’d want that, wouldn’t you?” Seonak said. Juhyun fought the urge to roll her eyes yet her expression remained clear. 

“Who wouldn’t? Those are prestigious events,” Seonghwa said, sensing that it wasn’t what the woman meant. Juhyun squeezed his hand, as if telling him that he’s doing fine.

Daeyoung, however, seemed to play off on Seonak’s words and he exchanged looks with his wife, who also knew what might be going on. “Didn’t your museum hold a fashion exhibit with Chanel pieces? I wonder how you pulled that off,” Hyemin suddenly said. 

“Yeah, that was years ago, when Juhyun and I were dating,” Seonghwa tried to stay calm, despite knowing that they were starting to close in on him. He was beginning to see why Juhyun hated them even more. “She helped me. I told her she didn’t need to, but she insisted anyway.” 

“If you two are trying to insinuate what I think you’re insinuating, you can stop it now,” Juhyun cut in, squeezing Seonghwa’s hand. 

It was Jihyun and Bin’s turns to try and defuse the tension. Jihyun suddenly cleared her throat, the attention turning to her. “So, Bin and I were thinking about having a destination wedding,” She said. 

“Oh? Where do you plan on having it?” Seonak said. 

“We were thinking Cannes,” Jihyun replied. 

“Why not Lake Como? Or the Amalfi coast?” Hyemin asked. “It’s wonderful there for a summer wedding.” 

Jihyun glanced at Juhyun and Seonghwa, then turned to their aunt. “Well, unnie already had her honeymoon in Italy, so I thought we’d go somewhere else.” 

Seonak smiled. Juhyun knew it was the kind of smile that meant she had an idea that had an underlying motive. She remembered that kind of smile since she was a child, when she was left to spend an entire summer in their home in Geneva, Switzerland. Seonak would always blame her for everything that likely went wrong and never allowed her own children to speak up, leading them to stay silent out of not wanting to be involved. There was a time that Seonak had even called her useless when Jihyun sprained her ankle while playing in their garden, something Juhyun remembered very well to this day. 

“Tell you what, let’s talk more about your wedding plans later, hmm?” Seonak suggested. 

Jihyun nodded. “Sure, after dinner,” She said, squeezing Bin’s hand. 

“Italy’s big enough for both of you to have something there though, did you not want Jihyun to have her wedding there” Seonak suddenly rounded on Juhyun. 

“I never said Jihyun can’t have her wedding in Italy,” Juhyun pointed out, trying to sound as polite as possible. 

Seonak chuckled.. “Why so formal all of a sudden? I was just asking,” She said. “Besides, your wedding has come and gone, Jihyun’s the one getting married this time, let the spotlight shine on her, okay, Juhyunnie?” 

Juhyun felt her blood boil. It was taking everything in her not to snap. She knew Seonak was purposely trying to provoke her, perhaps with some assistance from Daeyoung. Seonghwa noticed how she was feeling and instead gave her an assuring pat on the thigh as they focused on their food. 

~ 

Juhyun was furiously flipping through the channels of the smart television in the third floor living room after dinner, Seonghwa noticing the change in her mood. “Hey,” He said, sitting up next to her. “There are other ways to let your frustration out than to destroy the remote control.” 

Juhyun didn’t answer and instead changed the programming to Netflix only for her to furiously flip through the lineup of shows and movies. Seonghwa sighed, figuring that it was better to let Juhyun be, even though he was worried that the more Juhyun would furiously look through the selection of movies and tv shows, she might destroy the buttons on the remote out of frustration. 

As Seonghwa sat back, he suddenly saw Jihyun come in, followed by Bin. Jihyun looked a little unsure, while Bin seemed like he had no idea what was going on, but followed his fiance to the room anyway. “So, did you talk?” He said, Juhyun stopping her scanning. 

“Yeah, we did, Seonak actually offered to use the family summer home in Geneva for our wedding,” Jihyun said, while Bin looked surprised and pleased at the same time. 

“That’s nice,” Juhyun said. She was still too evidently frustrated to genuinely be happy for them at the moment. “Summer wedding in Switzerland, that would look amazing.” 

Jihyun smiled, then looked down, her expression falling slightly. “Unnie, there’s a condition though,” She said. “I knew she had an ulterior motive with her suggesting that since Geneva seems like her territory.” 

Juhyun felt a lump in her throat. “And that is?” She said. 

Jihyun was finding it hard to speak, while Bin seemed concerned. “What did she want in exchange?” He spoke this time. 

“Unnie’s not allowed to bring Seonghwa,” Jihyun blurted out, eyes closed. 

Bin, Juhyun, and Seonghwa stared at her. The room had gone quiet at her words. Bin looked especially shocked. Seonghwa now felt and understood why Juhyun was so angry at her aunt. “But-but that’s not fair,” Bin said quietly. 

“But it’s also our wedding,” Jihyun said, in what could be described as a poor attempt of justifying what she revealed. She held onto her fiance’s hand. “We’ve been having trouble deciding where our wedding should be, and we even wanted a destination wedding.”

This was what Seonghwa’s family and his own colleagues at the museum had long warned him about when it came to Juhyun’s family. At the time, he was certain that things were different, but now he wasn’t sure. He wondered whether he could speak first or if Juhyun would say anything first. Seonghwa noticed how Bin understood Jihyun’s point of view once she explained. 

“Is it because of what I think it is?” Juhyun suddenly spoke, still staring at her sister. 

Jihyun was still finding it hard to look at her. “Unnie…” 

“Is it?” 

“Unnie, it is my wedding, and the summer home in Geneva has a very nice view of the mountains…” Jihyun swallowed as she seemed to pluck up the courage to look at her. 

Juhyun felt like another weight was thrown at her. “Then I’m not going.” 

Jihyun gaped at her. “Unnie, please-” 

“I said what I said,” Juhyun cut her off. “Find another bridesmaid, find another groomsman. Your wedding gift will be in the mail,” She got up and left the room. 

Seonghwa quickly followed her, not wanting to see how Jihyun and Bin were reacting. He felt humiliated, demeaned by that simple condition. It was the first time Seonghwa felt like he wasn’t good enough. Seonghwa also felt conflicted. Juhyun loved him to put him first, but it also meant that she was skipping her own sister’s wedding as a result of being married to him. 

Juhyun fled into the room and started packing her things. “Juhyun,” Seonghwa closed the door behind him, grabbing her hands. “Juhyun wait,” He said. 

“Please call Eunhyung, tell her to have a town car ready, we’re leaving, we’re going home,” She said quietly, pulling away from him to place her things into her suitcase. 

Seonghwa sighed. “Juhyun, please.” 

“No, no, I’ve had it. Coming here was a bad idea, all the more so with the bullshit Seonak’s spewing all over the house,” She said, fighting the urge to cry. 

“But you didn’t come here for her, you came here for your grandfather,” Seonghwa tried to reason, even though he himself agreed with wanting to go home. He made his way to the intercom. “Eunhyung, please call a car for us, our stay has been cut short,” He said. 

“Really? But why?” Eunhyung sounded concerned. 

It seemed like a fuss for Seonghwa to explain everything, so he thought to give another reason. “Something came up in the museum, so we thought we’d go back home instead. I’m sorry we couldn’t stay after all.” 

“Alright, I’ll have the chauffeur get ready to drive you back,” Eunhyung said, and Seonghwa hung up.

There was a knock on the door. “It’s open!” Seonghwa called out, glancing at Juhyun, who was folding up her travel case that had her toiletries. 

In peeked Lee Yejin, Seonak’s eldest daughter, who Seonghwa remembered had attended their wedding. She was married to a pharmaceutical executive in Switzerland, Han Dongmin. “Juhyun,” She said calmly, looking apologetic. 

“Yeah?” Juhyun said without looking at her. 

“My mom’s just been up in arms around the fact that she wasn’t invited to your wedding,” Yejin explained. “You know how she is.” 

“I don’t need you trying to explain on her behalf. I’ve long known the kind of person that she is. You of all people should remember that very well,” Juhyun side-eyed her. 

“I know,” Yejin nodded and looked down, suddenly noticing the open suitcases as Seonghwa was also packing his things. “You’re leaving already?” She said. 

“There’s nothing else here. As much as I already saw grandpa, I know she’s stuck to him like glue so there’s no point in me staying here. Besides, Seonghwa has an emergency at the museum, so all the more we need to go home even at this hour,” Juhyun pointed out. “It was nice seeing you and Dongmin earlier. I’ll make sure to give you my baby shower gift in advance.” 

Yejin looked down at her growing baby bump then at Seonghwa, as if hoping that he could convince her to stay, but knew that he ultimately agreed. “Well, I guess I’ll see both of you sometime. Maybe when the baby’s born I’ll facetime the two of you.” 

“That would be appreciated,” Juhyun went into the bathroom and closed the door. 

Yejin stepped inside the room and closed the door behind her. “I’ve always felt sorry for not doing anything for her when we were kids,” She said quietly, Seonghwa glancing at her from time to time as he closed both their suitcases and put them down. 

“That long, huh?” He said. 

Yejin nodded. “I’m guessing she’s turned up the bullshit now knowing what’s at stake,” She said. 

“I can tell. Well, there’s always one in every family, right?” Seonghwa tried to joke, and Yejin nodded. 

Yejin stepped closer to him. “Please don’t tell Juhyun just yet. I also know you’re a good guy so I also know you won’t do anything untoward with what I’m about to reveal to you.” 

“You want me to convince her to stay?” Seonghwa asked. 

Yejin shook her head. “No, I can’t, and it’s a lost cause since she’s made up her mind,” She said in practically a whisper. “Juhyun actually stands to inherit a lot of what my mother wants, and what Daeyoung oppa wants.”

Seonghwa nodded. He wasn’t going to pry, but he was also curious as to what she meant. “No wonder she did what she did at dinner.” 

Yejin hummed in agreement. “Yeah. If our grandmother were still alive, she’d have Juhyun taken off the family register to be honest, simply because uncle Jongmin married auntie Dajeong, and now Juhyun married you. Her side of the family’s been through the most shit from the very people they’re related to, if I’m being honest.” 

Seonghwa understood what Yejin meant. Even if it seemed that Yejin was on their side, he was still careful enough not to say anything in case they were looking for something to pin on him. The door opened again, and it was Eunhyung. “The car’s outside. Don’t worry, I’ll tell the parents,” She said. 

The bathroom door opened and out came Juhyun. “Thank you, Eunhyung. I’ll see you soon. You should probably get back to your husband and get some rest,” She said, without looking at her cousin. 

“See you,” Seonghwa nodded at Yejin, while he and Juhyun brought their luggage out of the room. 

~ 

The incidents seemed to hang over Juhyun and Seonghwa’s heads even as they returned to Seoul and slept. While the fact that they were kilometers away from Seonak and Daeyoung gave them some comfort, knowing that Jihyun accepted Seonak’s offer to have her wedding at the family home in Geneva with an ulterior motive left a bad taste in their mouths. 

It seemed to spill over into the weekend, when they met up with Jea and Wooyoung at his restaurant for brunch, telling them everything that happened. “Why her husband’s still with her, I will never know,” Jea scoffed as they tucked into their food. 

“Decades of being told that she needed to marry someone like us is what happened, and besides, Dongmin’s too absorbed in his work to even pay attention,” Juhyun said. 

“If you ask me, your aunt’s behaving like those school bullies,” Wooyoung commented, taking a sip of his water. 

“She was one, she never changed,” Juhyun shook her head. 

Wooyoung glanced at Seonghwa. “See what I mean? It’s not a surprise. If it makes you feel better Hwa, her aunt would hate me too. I think she’d hate most of us guys here.” 

“You’re literally a Michelin-star chef,” Juhyun pointed out. 

“But I did not come from money,” Wooyoung was quick to counter. 

“Still a Michelin-star chef,” Seonghwa repeated with a chuckle. He was still cautious about saying anything about Juhyun’s relatives in case anyone who might know them heard them. 

“Well, in any case, you did good by just leaving. There’s no use for you to be there if they’re just bent on bullshitting you all throughout, it could’ve gone a lot worse if you still stayed after that,” Jea nodded. “Even if you’re related, it’s no excuse for them to put you through that. Geez, as if we didn’t have to put up with your ex years ago.” 

Juhyun nodded. “You are right on that one. I don’t feel like being near them for now,” She said. 

“You don’t have to be. Hey,” Wooyoung sat up. “Why don’t we go to Essence again?” He suggested. 

Seonghwa wrinkled his nose. “There? That bar we went to for the bachelor party? Why?” He said. 

“You two obviously need a change of scenery, so why not go somewhere interesting?” Wooyoung shrugged.

“Are we even allowed back there? You do remember what happened when we went there, right?” Seonghwa raised a brow. 

Wooyoung nodded. “I do, and don’t worry, it was only Jihan and his guys that weren’t allowed back. You’re fine.” 

Jea gave her husband a look. “Why do I get the feeling you’ve been back there more than once? Didn’t you say you didn’t like how you had to eat your drink?” She laughed. 

“Well, Jiho brought us guys back there one time while these two were off,” Wooyoung gestured to Juhyun and Seonghwa as he explained. “You start getting used to having to eat your drink. At least I didn’t get a gin and tonic, it took a while for that huge ice cube to melt.” 

Seonghwa remembered it well, and the thought made him laugh. He heard his phone beep and he looked over to see the notification. It was a message from his mother. 

Someone named Seonak called us yesterday, talking about you and Juhyun. Do you know who she is?

His expression fell and he put his phone away, not wanting to deal with it just yet. They’ll have to deal with it when they get home. Seonghwa remembered what Yejin said, the reasons why Seonak was so bent on making Juhyun’s life a living hell while they were around. His wife stood to get what they wanted, and if Seonghwa’s suspicions were right, they were trying to make sure Juhyun would no longer inherit those things. 

“Is something wrong?” Jea suddenly asked him. 

Seonghwa smiled. “It’s nothing. Just a work thing,” He said. 

The drive back to their apartment later on seemed quiet. Seonghwa wasn’t sure if he should bring it up then and there or wait until they were home. The weight remained on their shoulders as they returned to their apartment, Juhyun having noticed the slight change in Seonghwa’s mood earlier. 

“Was it a work thing that got you down?” Juhyun asked, sitting down at the dining table. 

Seonghwa shook his head as he prepared cups of tea for the two of them. “It was my mom. She said your aunt called them up, talked about us,” He replied. 

Juhyun sighed and closed her eyes. It felt like a building nightmare. “I’m sorry,” She said, leaning on the table. 

“It’s not your fault,” Seonghwa immediately sat down next to her at the table. “It’s not your fault. I don’t even know how she got a hold of my mom’s number to be honest…” 

“She has her ways. She probably hired a private investigator or something. I wouldn’t put it past her to do something like that,” Juhyun buried her face in her hands then sat up. “I should probably call her up and apologize-” 

Seonghwa shook his head, grabbing both of her hands. “This is not your fault. I know what I signed up for when I dated you, when I married you. This is just another obstacle the two of us will overcome together, okay?” He let go of her hands to cup her face. “It’s us against that, not us against each other.” 

Tears were streaming down Juhyun’s face. “It just feels like everything’s imploding,” She said. 

Seonghwa rested his forehead on hers. “I know it does. I know it’s frustrating, but we’ll get through this. We don’t need to go back there if you don’t want to, okay? We can just keep away from them as much as we can, until they leave and return to wherever they were coming from. At least you’ve faced them even if it’s just for a day.” 

“I still want to call your parents and apologize,” She said. 

“If it makes you feel better, we can do that. They’ll understand. In fact, they’ll know how you feel, I have no doubts about it,” Seonghwa assured his wife. “Your parents probably know about that by now, huh?” 

Juhyun nodded. “If Jihyun hasn’t explained to them, Eunhyung might give an explanation too. She knows how much I hated aunt Seonak,” She said. “Just as much as I hate Daeyoung.” 

“What about Sangmin?” He asked curiously. 

“He’d know. He was probably the first one Jihyun told about having her wedding in Switzerland,” She said, more tears flowing down her face. It only made her cry more when Seonghwa tried to wipe it away. 

Seonghwa pulled Juhyun in for a hug, stroking her hair to further comfort her, while also trying to give himself the same treatment. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay, we’ll get through this,” He whispered. 

Juhyun’s phone beeped, and she pulled away, seeing that it was a message from her mother. 

Juhyun, your grandfather just passed away. 

[kaypeace21]

Analyzing the 5 plays in this drama club poster .From the bts pics of stranger things 4.

So... some of ya’ll know I'm going through the st s4 films given to us by the official st twitter + the films reffed in the show itself or mentioned by the Duffers in interviews .

So I decided to look at the plays mentioned here. Because even if we don't see the monologues in the show directly - the Duffers wouldn't name drop anything unless it inspired them in some way. Similar to films name dropped in the show. Tw : for some dark themes .

This is just a quick little analysis I decided to do since we probably won't get any new st content today (3/22). Nothing too deep. Just mentioning things that caught my interest especially cause these plays have a lot of narrative connections to the st s4 movies I've been watching.

Invitation to a march (Authur laurents)

Reminds me of the stancy/jancy love triangle. "A young woman is having second thoughts about doing the right thing and marrying a respectable , rich, kind, young man with good prospects.By way of a prewedding diversion, this woman becomes interested in the passionate but poor and entirely unsuitable son of a local landlord.Basically, the plot concerns the efforts of Norma Brown to choose between a conventional fiance who "puts her to sleep" but is wealthy (like what her own mother did) or go for this new-poor guy. The play is principally interested in how this youthful love triangle affects the three mothers involved (whether the kids like it or not)

12th night (Shakespeare)

 - viola (el) wrongly assumes a family member (hopper) is dead. She dresses up as a man named 'cesario'. A girl named Olivia falls for 'cesario' (violet dressed as a man). "Finally, when 'Cesario' and Sebastian (violet's twin brother: assumed to have drowned - Will) appear in the presence of Olivia there is more wonder and confusion at their physical similarity. Taking Sebastian for 'Cesario', Olivia asks him to marry her, and they are secretly married in a church. Cough if Olivia is 'straight' cause she fell for Viola (as a doppleganger dressed like her twin brother).Mike being into el who multiple characters in s1 said looked like a boy and specifically like Will is...suspish and a hint he's not straight lol. just like Olivia they're both into guys . plus, this play just has a butt load of love triangles (ugh i hated that aspect). There was also romantically coded letters (which was in the s4 films) . One character is also thrown into an insane asylum and framed as 'insane'.'Pretending that Malvolio is insane, they lock him up in a dark chamber. Feste visits him to mock his insanity'. We all know the psych hospital will be narratively important- talked about it more here.

The seagull (Anton Chekhov-russian)

similar to how I believed s4 will show m*#even already broken up since the months between s3-4 : act 3 (s3) ends with Nina begging for one last chance to be with Trigorin before he leaves/moves away. They kiss and make plans to meet again in Moscow.And in act 4 there's a timeskip where it shows they've been broken up for a long time between acts- and its established they never actually loved eachother. Do i even have to spell out why this parallels the m*#even ending in s3? There is also a play within the play (this is common in a lot of the st films- they have plays- or a story within a story- which illustrate certain themes or emotions of the characters within said film : blackswan, children of paradise, highschool musical, Rushmore, book of Henry, welcome to marwen, never ending story, romancing the stone, wet hot American summer, etc).The play is Konstantin's latest attempt at creating a dense symbolist work. There is also alot of love triangles in the seagull. TW!: for se#ual ab*se/su*cidal thoughts/ inc*st (here and in other play segments). The seagull motif reminds me a lot of Jonathan's rabbit story.Konstantin romantically into Nina shows up to give her a gull that he has shot. Nina is confused and horrified . Trigorin sees the gull that Konstantin has shot and muses to Nina on how he could use it as a subject for a short story: "The plot for the short story: a young girl lives all her life on the shore of a lake. She loves the lake, like a gull, and she's happy and free, like a gull. But a man arrives by chance, and when he sees her, he destroys her, out of sheer boredom. Like this gull."  This immediately reminded me of jon's rabbit story and some of the movies on the s4 list . Like in forrest gump- Jenny (who is poor) was se*ually ab*sed as a very young girl by her father. As a child she runs away into a field-away from her alcoholic father yelling at her -there she prays that she can "be a bird so I can fly far far away" .

Jenny as an adult struggles with this unresolved trauma- being with ab*sive partners, doing dr*gs, and having su*cidal thoughts . She as an adult when contemplating su*icide, jokes 'you think i can fly like a bird ?' while looking down at a bridge.God-i'm worried about jonathan (Jenny was also a musician sort of like jon). In another s4 movie example ' mystic river ' :(in the 80s) a preteen baseball playing boy is r*ped by men in the woods. He later says he wishes he could become an undead monster to not feel the pain of that experience - cause quote " if I'm not human anymore maybe the pain will stop" (Will) . slightly off topic but he also has another personality, imagines a alternate word that dissappears when he turns his head. And as a less direct animal parallel to the play - the boy from the film also imagined his perpetrators as monsters and wolves to cope.In 'getout' the photographer character sees a dead deer in the woods and it represents a parent/his own childhood tra*ma relating to his past. similarly in 'prince of tides' the 2 siblings as kids were ra*ed by men. The older brother remembered it and the younger sibling developed DID (so didn't remember but she would draw wolves- as the perpetrators/villains in her picture stories she created . In the film they also had an ab*sive dad and were very poor. She also tried k*ling herself multiple times-but started to get better after remembering the source of her pain and trauma.  There is also the theme of multiple attempted su*cides in the play- and the play ends with yet another attempt- and the audience is left unaware of the artist's fate at the end of the play.

The tempest (Shakespeare)

Prospereo - (the perceived antagonist) is a wizard with monstrous looks, storm powers , and ability to create monster-dogs

He wants revenge on a man who tried ra*ing his family member & revenge on his other family member who wronged him years ago. I mean... pretty much my did theory.But in the end.Prospero decides to show his enemies the mercy that they did not show him twelve years earlier. He tells Ariel to bring the men to him, he will restore their sanity and then renounce magic forever.Prospero breaks the spell that the men are under .

Diary of a scoundrel (Alexander Ostrovsky-Russian)

-  I suppose this could loosely relate to Jonathan? Glumov, is a young man from an impoverished family lacking status seeking entrance into society's pampered class. A 19th-century Russian scoundrel must scheme his way out of his meager life in a small apartment -whatever it takes.He has a quick mind and some talent for seeing through the hypocrisies of people around him ( Jonathan does make a lot of social critiques about society). That gives him some advantages. A tale of one man's mission to finagle his way into upper-class society and find a cushy job. Set in 1874, this social comedy follows Glumov, a Russian youth who begins his ambitious ascent to social esteem. He progresses by wit, guile and rhetoric. Pitting one stupid person against another, he soon gains his ends. To reach these goals, Glumov will lie, flatter, and cater to the vanities of the wealthy. Unable to contain his disgust with his victims, Glumov decides to relieve his unvoiced satirical comments by recording his schemes in a diary. But he is tripped up by his uncle's wife, to whom he has made passionate love on his way to success. At the end of the play, his diary is stolen and his duplicity exposed, but he can nevertheless suceeds. The author is much more critical about the high society itself than about the main character, so the play keeps attracting generations of directors by opening possibilities for political criticism while also avoiding naming names of the current rulers.The play's aim was to overthrow bourgeois tradition and establish a class-conscious art called eccentricism giving a deliberately comic portrayal of reality.

I suppose I notice some possible commonalities-  besides s3 critiquing the wealthy/capitalism in comedic ways . jonathan since s1 has worried about his family's finances / had some resentment toward the rich . In some of the s4 movies ‘orphan’ & ‘ girl interrupted’ someone reads their diary out loud to get at them (in girl interrupted the winona character’s diary even had critiques of her new friends).  Alot of movies also have someone (usually a teen/young adult) making a documentary about their life -which could narratively replace said diary? A few movies have a poor guy adjusting to snobby rich social circles (or being poor and then getting money)- titanic, kingsmen, karate kid, the craft , godfather,  wardogs,into the spiderverse,flashdance, and many others . And movies like wardogs has a poor-young-character do shady things to finacially support his family . There’s also that whole uncle’s wife thing- which makes me uncomfortable for obvious reasons (but I’m just thinking of Lonnie’s creepy gf who was into him). A few movies had the guy’s step mom innappropriately hit on him- orange county & you got mail. And him trying to avoid her advances. Or...not to mention ... it may be a problematic coincidence /trope. But in enter the void -the guy who needs to finacially support his sibling/ does dr*gs -hooks up with his dr*g dealing friend’s married mom (who would give him money).  Or in gilbert grape- the poor teen-who has to finacially support his siblings/single mom-has his endgame relationship be a girl his own age. But before that he h*oked up with a married woman -who would give him money. Don’s plum -young film guy-propositioned by older female film director (for dream job). Not even mentioning the other films that have the guy hooking up with toxic older women (like ‘the graduate’). Or analyze this-where the therapist accuses him of having an Oedipus complex (not touching that one... but the guy in ‘enter the void’ a 100% had one). It’s possible those movies were just- inspo for s3?  A coincidence? Or s3 was foreshadowing for this in s4- but unlike s3 it will accurately be played as wrong  and a sign of Jonathan recreating past tra*ma caused by Lonnie (cough like the photos) /being desperate for money. And not played ‘comedically’ like how it mostly was in s3. But shown as self destructive  (for Jon) and immoral on the Woman’s end. Like... Billy and Jon are character foils. Both are older siblings into rock music, with ab*sive dads who shoved them into walls. Both lose it (and beat steve to a pulp when Steve accidentally triggers their daddy issues). In s3 it’s established womanizer Billy has mommy issues, than he tries ho*king up with someone his mom’s age, and the characters ref ‘back to the future ‘ and Steve incorrectly says it’s about “alex p keaton trying to bang his mom.” This could illustrate his subconscious issues with parental figures/adults cause of Lonnie’s  possible past se*ual ab*se . One film the friend even says to the guy “you don’t have friends!” guy b: i have friends! him:  no you have acquaintances! ADMIT IT! YOU’RE AFRAID OF MEN!I mean-Jonathan liked Nancy- but he initially hooked up with her cause he wanted to prove he didn’t have ‘trust issues’ from his dad. Also it’s prob a bit of a reach (and maybe a coincidence)- but the fact Murray in the same breath compares Steve (Nancy’s then bf) and Lonnie  ... uh... if you think too long about it ... it’s very sinister .  Especially because in s3: muray tells Joyce  that despite her wanting to be with a nice guy, she’s curious about “the brute” Hopper despite him reminding her of a past “bad relationship”(aka Lonnie). Like- yeah connect some dots.  Quite a few films (other than forrest gump) also have the character who (as a kid) was  r*ped by their dad/parent-  begin to do dr*gs/be pr*miscuous as adults since they never learned to properly cope with their trauma (’girl with the dragon tattoo’,  ‘black swan’, and ‘magnolia’). Unfortunately the whole relative doing such things to kid-relatives is in at least 30+ movies. 

Personally, i would be MUCH happier if Jon had a age appropriate romance- and had not a single creepy adult near him. A few movies actually imply Lonnie gets yet another ‘new model’  replacing his gf in her 20s with a new gf- who is ‘barely l*gal” and just turned 18. so there’s that possibility as well- that she’s jonathan’s age.I just want Jonathan-happy &safe. GOD. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

[gotnofucks]

Loving Dodger

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: Your journey of overcoming your fear of dogs to loving Dodger.

Words: 3.6k

Warning: mention of smut, language. Loads of fluff

A/N: I obviously don’t know Chris Evans, this is just a story.

MASTERLIST

+++++

Everyone was packing up and you rushed to get things in order. Your coffee had gone cold hours ago, and some poor intern would be responsible for throwing it away from wherever you had left it. Working in the film industry could be rough, and this was just backstage. You went through the set, automatically putting things in order as you moved and waved goodbye to others. Stuffing the last of your things in your overstuffed bag, you left to find a taxi. You were glad you weren’t working tomorrow morning, for you planned to have a long hot shower and an undisturbed sleep after a long time.

It was late at night and no taxis came your way. You hated taking an Uber this late, but desperate times call for desperate measures. You had only just taken out your phone when a car stopped in front of you. The driver’s side door opened, and a smiling Chris Evans greeted you.

“Can I give you a ride milady?” He asked and you snorted.

“You have the worst English accent. If you do that in London, they’ll smell the imposter in you” You said. “And it’s cool, I’m calling an uber.”

Chris frowned, leaning against the door with arms spread, his few sizes short, too tight shirt stretching over his broad frame. You felt like he needed to be arrested for the cardiac arrests he may cause.

“At this time, and even when a handsome, chivalrous man is offering a safe ride? You wound me sweetheart.” He grabbed his left boob, faking a pained expression and you sighed.

“God, you’re awful Chris. You sure it’s okay, a little out of your way isn’t it?”

“Y/n, there is not one place in the world I wouldn’t go with you”

You let your hair form a curtain to hide your blush, clearing your throat awkwardly and stepping in his car. His car smelled like his cologne, the heady scent sticking to your clammy skin. You went for the radio, soft country music running in the background.

“So, what are you doing this weekend?” Chris asked.

“I live a boring life man. I’m probably gonna clean my shit and stock my kitchen with as much instant food as I can.”

“Well, if you want, we can go somewhere. Make your boring weekend interesting.” Chris suggested, glancing at you as he maneuvered around the traffic. You fidgeted, playing with your fingers as you avoided his eyes. Saying no to him was getting difficult every time. You wished the radio was turned up louder so this conversation could be avoided.

“Oh, you know me. I like to lay in, be a lazy girl.” You tried to say nonchalantly, and Chris’s hands clenched around the wheel. You stared out the window, watching the city breeze past as things got awkward inside. You didn’t speak until he pulled up in front of your home, and you reached for the door before the car even stopped, a farewell on your tongue when you were pulled back by the seatbelt.

You blushed, hands frantically trying to undo the clasp and Chris’s hands covered yours, releasing you. You breathed deeply as he was leaning into you, face just a few inches away. You could count his lashes this close, see the exact shape of that mole on his cheek and feel his breath on you. You pulled back, quickly opening the door and almost stepping out before you were pulled back again, this time by Chris’s hand grabbing your upper arm. He tugged you back into your seat and came close enough to touch your nose with his.

“You know you can’t keep blowing me off,” He muttered. His hand tucked your hair behind your ear, blue eyes intently looking in yours. “I can’t take your no because I know you don’t mean it. Why do you keep running away?”

You gulped uneasily, wiggling out of his grip and getting out of the car. He was still looking at you, waiting for an answer. You shook your head slightly, feet kicking the ground at your feet.

“Thank you for the ride Chris. Drive safe.”

The door swung shut behind you and you walked away without another look, hiding away inside your home and trying to calm your beating heart.

+++++

You remembered disabling your alarm last night, so what the hell was that awful noise. Burrowing your head in your pillow, you tried to go back to sleep until the pounding continued. You growled, ready to rip out a new one to whoever was stupid enough to disturb your sleep. Uncaring of your attire, the t-shirt barely reaching midthigh over your panties you marched to your door, a scowl on your face.

You ripped open your door, already mid-triad before noticing who it was.

“Look, you need to shut the hell up. I work 14 hours a day, barely eat and sleep and you trying to break my door down is not –”

Chris smiled at you, amusement glittering in his eyes which raked over your bare legs. Your mouth parted for an embarrassingly long amount of time before you remembered you bed hair, morning breath (more like mourning breath) and the ratty t-shirt with holes. You pulled down on the hem, aware that you weren’t wearing a bra and it was too late to hide.

“What the hell are you doing here at this ungodly hour?” You asked Chris and he held up his hands to show he had food.

“Ungodly? Its 10 am miss, and your loyal subject is here to feed you.”

He moved past you into your house without invite, putting down the paper bag which had grease stains on it. Despite your shock and anger, your stomach grumbled, and you shut the door behind you. You rolled your eyes at his cheek, but that stuff looked too tempting to say no to.

“Since you’ve decided to intrude on my morning, make yourself useful and put on some coffee. I’m gonna change” You said and walked towards your bedroom.

“Like the way you look!” Chris shouted from behind you and you flipped him off without looking, ignoring his chuckle.

Why the hell was he here? After the way you guys had left things last night, you would have thought he would be too pissed to talk to you. You sighed as you pulled on a bra and something other than a 10-year-old t-shirt. You found him setting the table, laying down breakfast as the smell of coffee filled the kitchen. He smiled when he saw you had pulled your hair into a messy bun and winked at you.

“Here, larger portion for you.” He said handing you a plate of your favorite food. You took it, feeling like a guest in your own home as he served and poured you a mug of coffee, made perfectly as you like it. You both ate in silence for a while, the sound of cutlery the only thing to be heard. Finally, you pinned him with a stare, pushing away your plate.

“Chris, what are you doing here? Seriously.”

He chewed the morsel in his mouth before leaning his hands on the table and clasping his hands. It felt like an interview and you wished you had something better on, like an armor, to deal with whatever he was going to say.

“Well, if you want an honest answer here, I’d say I am here because I wanted to see you. I didn’t want you having some instant meal for the 10th time this week, so I got you some breakfast.”

You looked away from him, chewing on your lip. You wished he wouldn’t be so sweet. If he were a sleazy bastard, saying no to him would be so easy. Yet, here he was getting you food and being all domestic, making your life more difficult.

“Look, I appreciate this but I – Chris, we can’t happen. You need to stop this.”

It seemed like he was contemplating you, trying to guess what went on in that head of yours. He reached across to take your hand in his, lacing your fingers and stroked.

“I can’t stop. I tried, trust me I did. I can’t. I see you on the set and I want to whisk you away in the vanity away from prying eyes. I see you anywhere at all, with any other man I want to punch his face. Y/n don’t tell me I am imagining things. I’ve seen the way you look at me. You want me too, don’t you?”

The chair made a screeching noise as you snatched your hand away from his and got up, pacing the room. You were shaking your head, trying to think of a way to make him understand.

“Chris, we won’t work, you and me.”

“Why the fuck not? How can you even know if you won’t give us a chance? And I am the one who’s supposed to have fucking commitment issues.”

You wrung your hands, sitting in front of him again. He looked angry and frustrated, not knowing how much you wanted to say yes. But you knew in your heart of hearts that a very basic thing will never let you be.

“I won’t give it a chance because we’re different. We like different things, and well, sometimes they can be too much to compromise.”

“Like what, huh?”

You looked down in your lap, playing with the lint that stuck to your leggings. It was an embarrassing thing to admit, but you knew it would hold a lot of importance to this relationship. Taking a sharp breath, you told him the truth.

“I don’t like dogs. In fact, they terrify me.”

Chris lurched back as if it was the last thing he expected to come from you. He probably expected some tale of family drama or relationship trauma, but your reasons were simpler. You had cynophobia, the fear of dogs. You couldn’t be in the same room with them without getting shit scared. Chris blinked at you, like it was the dumbest thing you could have said.

“Excuse me? You refuse to go out with me because you don’t like dogs?”

You gave him a critical look, raising a brow.

“Have you seen your social media accounts? You love Dodger probably more than you love any human being. You’re a self-proclaimed ‘huge dog guy’. And me…I can’t be in the same room with one. We won’t work out Chris, and I would rather save myself the heartbreak.”

This was clearly not something Chris was prepared for. He looked baffled, not knowing what to say. You wished it were a small thing, but it wasn’t. Everyone who knew Chris could tell how much he loved dogs. His Instagram page was basically a Dodger fan page. He had the name tattooed on his body. You could never work out simply because Chris would always be choosing between you and his doggo, and you would be too busy being scared of him to enjoy your time with Chris.

He released a deep breath, straightening his shoulders.

“We’ll make it happen. A lot of people fear things, and they get over it. It can work out. When you meet Dodger, you’ll forget you’d ever been scared of a dog. He’s a good boy, trust me.”

“Chris” You said shaking your head, “You don’t understand. I like dogs but only from afar. They terrify the living daylights out of me. I just – why don’t you understand? This is already so embarrassing”

He got up and sat next to you, his hand on your shoulder. “Look, just give me one chance. I know we can be great, okay? One chance is all I am asking. If it gets too much, we end it. I promise, it will be like nothing ever happened.”

You didn’t want to believe him. You shouldn’t have, but he was the man you’d been crushing on for nearly a year now. He was smart and kind and funny, he worked for the good causes and god he was such a treat to look at. You should have said no, had your coffee and left it at that. But there was only so many times you can say no to Chris Evans, especially when he’s pursuing you like the proverbial hound of hell.

“One chance Chris.”

+++++

This was a bad idea and you were regretting it already. You were practically hiding behind Chris, bunching his shirt under both hands as your head peeked over his large body. You were not ready to meet Dodger, at least not without a bomb suit.

“Hey, relax, he’s a right love. I’ve been showing him your pictures on my phone and he loves you already.” Chris tried to placate you and you replied with a pathetic whimper.

The door had barely opened before the golden brown doggo ran towards you and you squeaked. He bounded on Chris and you, Chris laughing and rubbing him behind the ear while you backed away. Dodger kept trying to come towards you and Chris had to hold him back by the collar while offering you a hand.

“Come on Y/n, he doesn’t bite. He’s a cutie.” Chris called but you shook your head, your knees vibrating. You edged away, taking deep gulps of breath as fear overtook you. It was pathetic really how scared you were since Dodger wasn’t even a huge dog, but it still took every last bit of your willpower to not just run away.

“Chris I can’t. Please.” You begged and he must have heard the fear in your voice. He pulled Dodger inside the house, the barks getting fainter as they moved in and you stayed frozen in your track. He came out after a couple minutes and immediately took your shoulders, rubbing softly.

“Hey, hey look at me. He’s inside now, okay?”

You nodded and buried your head in his chest, feeling more embarrassed than ever. Chris hugged you, shushing you gently.

“I am so sorry Chris, I just can’t. I told you this won’t work” You said, and Chris pulled away to look in your eyes. His blue eyes were determined as they stared in yours and you blinked up at him with watery eyes.

“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have sprung this up on you like this. We’ll start small, okay?” He urged and you bit your lip, uncertain. Chris rubbed his nose to yours, pressing a kiss on your lips and both your cheeks. “Please Y/n, just give me more time. We’ll work it out.”

You wanted it to work out too. The dates you had gone on had been nothing short of amazing. When you were with Chris you laughed like never before, the conversation so unrestrained. You didn’t worry about hiding your flaws, feeling so comfortable in his company. And then there was the sex. It was so good. In fact, it was spectacular.

“I don’t know how we’ll make it work.” You admitted softly and Chris smiled at you, cupping your face in his huge hands.

“We’ll do it together baby. Don’t give up on us just yet please.” You pressed your forehead to his and breathed in his scent, letting it wash over you. Nodding your affirmation, you let him lead you inside his house, Dodger locked inside the bedroom.

“I feel terrible for locking him in.” You said and you did. Just because dogs scare you doesn’t mean you hate them. You just feared going near them. You watched those cute puppy videos on YouTube to help relax yourself, only you didn’t want any dogs around you.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s with his stuffed lion.”

You cuddled on the couch, watching some 90s movie and you wished with everything that this would somehow work out.

+++++

It took you a while to decide if this was heaven or hell. You were awing and yelping simultaneously, and Chris laughed from behind you, his hands wrapped around your waist. Nuzzling his nose in your neck, he bit your ear softly uncaring of the people around you.

“Oh my god” You must have said this a dozen times already, but you were simply in awe. When Chris said you’ll start small you didn’t think he meant literally. In front of you were some of the cutest, softest, smallest puppies and you finally decided this was heaven.

“I figured we’ll begin from the beginning. Go up slowly, get you used to being around canines.” He bit you again as he said that and you giggled. Turning your head, you captured his lips in an elated kiss, touched that he was going to go through this with you.

“This is amazing.” You said and the corners of his eyes crinkled with his smile. He led you to the corner where a small black puppy with spots on his toes was wagging his tail at you. You awed, not afraid of him in the least.

“You wanna tell me about your phobia a little?” Chris asked as you cradled the pup in the crook of your elbow, the little darling loving your finger running over his small belly.

“It’s kinda silly but when I was four, I was chased by my neighbor’s dog. I ran like hell and it almost bit me before they got it back in control. I’ve feared them ever since.”

Chris hummed, kissing the pup in his own hands and giving you a soft smile.

“This helps?”

“This helps.” You agreed.

Chris and you must have petted a dozen puppies, holding them in your hands, cooing to them and kissing their small noses. You clicked pictures and fed them from your hands, a cacophony of kissy noises and good boys flowing from you both.

“I’m gonna have to hide these pics or Dodger is gonna get jealous.” Chris said and you snorted, snuggling into his side. It was a beautiful day at the shelter, and you were surprised at how fun it was. Tired as you were, you were also acutely aware of Chris’s hand creeping up your thigh in the car. You looked out the window, suppressing your smile.

“So, we made some progress today” He said, and you hummed. “And you had a lot of fun” You hummed again.

Chris pulled you to him roughly by your collar, his tongue poking out to just lick at your bottom lip.

“I think I deserve a reward…” He trailed off and you finally let a smile spread on your lips.

“I think you do Mr. Evans” You agreed and pressed your lips over his, hoping the driver will overlook the noises in the back.

+++++

Baby steps worked, and over the course of the next few weeks you got more comfortable around dogs. You spent a lot of time with pups of all breeds, slowly moving on to the bigger dogs. It wasn’t all easy, few visits ended in tears and hopelessness, but Chris stayed by your side. He let you set the pace, accompanying you every time and praising you for every obstacle you crossed. He didn’t mind spending most of the time at your place and waved off your apologies about Dodger.

“We’re doing this for him too, so he can get to know you better. It’s okay with me.” He assured you after a passionate round of love making. You traced Dodger’s name on his bare chest, finger roving over the other scattered tattoos. He loved it when you traced them with your tongue and bit his nipples.

“I think I’d like to try another visit with him.” You finally admitted, peeking up at him from under your lashes. Chris grinned, pulling you closer.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind waiting.”

“I think I’m ready Chris. I want to meet the good boy who’s sharing your heart with me.”

Rolling over you, Chris pressed kisses over your collar bones and chest, hands squeezing your curves. Your lips mashed together in a sloppy kiss and you felt him smile against you.

“There is no one else I’d rather give my heart to other than you and him.”

+++++

This time when the door opened you were not hiding behind Chris. You held a soft chew toy in your hand, a gift and an apology. Dodger ran towards Chris, tail wagging aggressively as he licked and nipped at every exposed bit of skin he could find. Chris giggled as he rubbed and scratched his baby, and you were very proud of not making any distressed sound or running away. When Dodger finally turned to you, you tentatively came towards him with the toy.

“Hello Dodger, you sweet sweet boy.” You greeted. You’d been with dogs almost as big as him now and felt little apprehension touching his soft coat. He whined under your touch, leaning into you and rubbing against your legs. Chris joined you, his hand finding yours in Dodger’s fur.

“Look buddy, mummy is ready to meet you. You like her, eh?”

Dodger barked in agreement, rolling over for belly rubs while you stared at Chris coyly.

“Mummy eh?” You teased and Chris blushed, kissing you softly.

“Well, only if you’ll have Dodger’s dad.” He said.

You playfully sat down on the floor, letting the cutie climb on your lap and scratching behind his ears that made him purr in satisfaction.

“What do you say Dodge, should I take him?” You asked and he wagged his tail, rolling around in your lap. You gazed lovingly at Chris, softly touching his bearded face.

“Well, only because Dodger says so.”

+++++

Taglist:

@shooting-star-love @what-is-your-wish @stanmysoul @littlegasps @bluemusickid @sweeterthanthis @scentedsongrebel

[ljf613]

So could you please explain Sessrin to me? I'm not in the fandom nor have I watched the show but from what little I've been told the antis (as usual) have completely mischaracterized the whole thing.

P. S. Can we please ban grooming from the fandom lexicon? It lacks semantic meaning other than age gap bad.

Well, it’s been a while since I last saw/read Inuyasha, and I’m super-behind on Yashahime, but I do love SessRin and am pretty bummed about the amount of hate this ship has been getting lately, so I’m going to do my best to share why I love these two so much. 

First off, anyone who uses the word ‘grooming’ either doesn’t know what that word means, or was not seeing the same story I was. The definition of grooming is “befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse.” This never happened. Sesshomaru did not look at this traumatiized child and go “hmm, how I can I best get her to trust me so that I can convince her to sleep with me” or whatever-- in fact, a large part of their dynamic is Rin choosing, over and over, to stand by him even as he is actively trying to push her away. (And considering that I suspect many of these antis are also Sesshomaru fans, the fact that they’re so quick to launch such a serious and out-of-character accusation at him is rather strange.) 

Here’s their story in a nutshell (and, again, I may be slightly misremembering details, it’s been a while): Rin, whose entire family was slaughtered by human bandits, comes across Sesshomaru in the woods and is initially terrified because, you know, demon. However, despite her fear, she realizes that he’s been injured and incapacitated, and does her best to try and help him (cleaning his wounds, getting him food and water, etc).  Sesshomaru, who, up until this point, has been a fairly typical demonic antagonist with your standard mindset of, “humans are stupid, selfish, and weak,” is understandably bewildered by this, and tries to scare her off. It doesn’t really work. This goes on for some time. (Several days? Weeks? IDEK.)  One day, after Rin returns to her village, a tribe of demons arrives and kills everyone. Rin tries to run back to the woods and escape, but the demons eventually catch and kill her. Sesshomaru finds her body, and, for some reason even he doesn’t understand, decides to use his magic sword that brings people back from the dead (yes he has one of those) to revive her. (This is significant because up until this point he has never even used the sword, as he hated the fact that he’d gotten the stupid healing sword while his little brother got the cool, killing sword.)  And Rin, who has no one left and no home to go back to, decides to travel with him.  (One of the interesting things here is that, despite the fact that she was killed by demons, Rin is actually more afraid of humans, because they’re the ones who murdered her family.) 

Their relationship throughout the course of the story is fascinating. At first glance, it might seem like Sesshomaru is always the one saving her, but she saves him too. Rin forced him to acknowledge that the world wasn’t black-and-white, that humans were complex, that just because he didn’t like someone or something didn’t mean it didn’t have a right to exist. Sesshomaru’s arc is subtle, but by the end of the story, he’s fighting side by side with the heroes-- something that would never have happened if he hadn’t met Rin. 

Now, the thing here is that, for most of the story Rin is eight years old. Their relationship is never, ever shown as sexual, but there’s clearly love there, and the implication the story ends with is that they will likely get together once Rin is older. I’ve heard antis say that they read the relationship as being more along the lines of “Sesshomaru ‘adopts’ Rin,” which explains a lot. However, I personally never saw it that way. They were partners-- just because Rin didn’t take out a sword and fight off anyone who tried to hurt Sesshomaru doesn’t mean she she was primarily on the receiving end of the relationship.  (In a story about battling evil, where nearly all of the characters are these awesome fighters, it’s pretty cool to see a character who is not a warrior, who just gives and loves and trusts and cares, and is never treated as lesser by either the characters or the narrative because of this. I really love Rin.) I think it’s a cultural thing-- people are used to the narrative of ‘coldhearted bachelor meets and adopts lovable scamp who reminds him how to love again’ and are primed to see it even in a story from an entirely different culture set five hundred years in the past. 

(Part of it is also about shipping wars-- many of the antis ship Sesshomaru with other characters, particularly Kagura, and would rather make the argument about morality versus just saying that they would prefer something a little different.) 

Here’s where I admit it gets a little bit sticky: How much of this is Rin just imprinting on Sesshomaru and using him as an excuse to avoid her trauma surrounding other humans?  And the narrative did a great job of resolving this dilemma. Near the end of the story, Rin leaves Sesshomaru. She goes to live among humans, to learn how to be human again, so that once she’s an adult, she has the agency to make an informed decision about what she really wants. 

There happens to be an audio-drama CD that was released in Japan sometime after the show ended, which is set just after the original story ends (when Rin is eleven). In it, Sesshomaru says something to Rin which is referred to by one of the other characters as a ‘proposal.’ Now, I don’t follow anti discourse, so I’m not sure if they know about it, but I can imagine they’d have a field day with that one. “Omigoodness, he proposed to an eleven year old, that’s so creepy.”  However, there’s some context involved. The word ‘proposal’ is used by one of the other characters-- who happens to have time-travelled from five hundred years later (that is, the present day). The whole plot of the CD starts when she complains to her husband/lover/whatever-their-relationship-status-is-supposed-to-be that he never actually proposed to her, and since he doesn’t know what a proposal is (because, again, culture gap), he thinks it’s some sort of monster she wants him to go fight for her before they can actually be married, and hilaraity ensues. She calls Sesshomaru’s words to Rin a proposal as in “see, that’s what a proposal is supposed to look like.” It has very little to do with SessRin in and of themselves. 

For reference, here’s what Sesshomaru actually said in this so-called ‘proposal’ (thanks to @inu-drama for the translation): 

“Rin, have you grown accustomed to life in the village?  No one is bullying you or anything?  Did you make a kimono out of the cloth I gave you the other day?  When you are troubled, or anxious, or sad, or any other time, feel free to call on me.  I will come to you immediately.  Even if we are far apart, if you call my name I will absolutely come flying to you.  If you cannot speak, you can whistle. Whistle through your fingers, if you like.  Distance is no object. Our hearts are tied together.  With the power of trust, there is nothing to fear.  Simply having that feeling should be enough to fill your heart.  That is why it is fine for things to remain as they are for now.  We have plenty of time.  You can examine your heart at your own pace.  Until then, take care of yourself.” 

(Is there something inherently creepy or predatory about that?) 

To me, SessRin is about love, in its purest form. It’s about believing in someone when the rest of the world is against them. It’s about choosing the person who chooses you. It’s about learning and growing and changing together. 

What’s that quote-- I think it was from Dawson’s Creek or something?  “What's a soulmate?” “It's uh... Well, it's like a best friend but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person. Actually, they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself - because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did, or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you will always love them. Nothing can ever change that.” Yeah, that one. That’s what SessRin is about. 

[haljathefangirlcat]

Okay, pls tell me about this: "heartfic au"

As you MAY have already guessed ;) it’s a fic inspired by @janiedean’s beautiful ASOIAF heartfics. 

For those unaware: one day, an anon suggested Janie write an ASOIAF fanfic set in an AU where, after suffering too much pain and trauma, people’s hearts (represented by glowing spheres of light) may crack and bleed and, eventually, spontaneously disappear from their owners’ chest to reappear wherever their soulmate is. Said soulmate then takes care of the heart, trying to heal its wounds and/or stop its bleeding, until they’re finally able to give it back. And then, ofc, romance and (more) hurt/comfort ensue. I think the initial prompt was JB, because iirc that’s what the first heartfic was? But Janie also wrote similar fics about other ships, like Davos and his wife getting Stannis’ heart or Sansa getting Sandor’s.

Janie has said on a couple of occasion that she’s fine with other people using the same concept, since it was that anon who came up with it. I decided to write Arthurian fic about it because the whole idea was just screaming GALAHAD/MORDRED!!!! over and over at me. 

Basic plot is “kid!Galahad gets a cracked, bleeding heart and figures it’s that of a damsel in distress he will have to save one day because ofc, he’s Miracle Boy and everything, but oh no, all the ballads say brave noble knights marry the damsels in distress whose hearts they heal, and he has to stay Pure to find the Grail!! ... but hey, maybe they can be just friends?? Then he grows up, goes to Camelot, starts this weird friendship (?) with Mordred as the two Local Subtly (Or Not So Subtly) Ostracized Awkward Prophesized Bastards Of Very Important People, and realizes it was never about a damsel at all. Cue DRAMA on both sides (”WAIT HOW DOES IT WORK DOES THIS MAKE IT BETTER OR WORSE I MEAN CAN WE HAVE LIKE A PLATONIC VIRILE FRIENDSHIP OR DO WE HAVE TO --” “OH GREAT I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH EVEN FOR MY GD SOULMATE NOW” and a bunch of other stuff) until Galahad leaves on the Grail Quest and experiences a lot of horrible shit until his own heart goes to Mordred to protect itself, proving they truly ARE meant to be together and prompting Galahad to refuse the Grail and ascending to Heaven (after a lot more internal turmoil, probably) so he can come back to him.”

Here’s a peek from a scene I’m particularly proud of:

As it turns out, he wasn’t lying.

Mordred can’t deny it as he stares at the thing Galahad took out of the chest under his bed, the thing that was in the leather pouch, the thing wrapped in wool like it was fragile and precious. The thing in Galahad’s hands, held gently, shivering like a branch in the wind, glowing like live coals, pulsating – no, not pulsating, beating.

The void in his chest longs for it, aches for it, covets it. No. No, it’s more than that. It’s not just desire but a need, a hunger. It makes him helpless before it, pulls him towards it like a riptide, and it’s all he can do to struggle against it and resist it, holding his arms rigid by his sides and not moving an inch from his position.

«It’s yours,» Galahad say, uselessly, and he opens and closes his mouth and lowers his gaze like he doesn’t know what else to say.

«Yes. It’s mine,» Mordred replies, just as uselessly. Then, after a moment, he adds: «Those are even my colors.» More because he’s just noticed than for any other reason. His bewildered tone probably makes his words sound even more foolish. But he won’t blame himself for that too much, not right now, because the first thing he noticed was the redness – the blood. The splotches of blood and the many, ragged scars. Hard to notice anything else, after seeing that.

His heart is an ugly thing. That’s not surprising, at all, but he chokes back bitter laughter all the same. 

Galahad’s head whips back up at the sound, and he looks startled and a bit confused. «Uh. Ah, yes, that’s true. I hadn’t thought… or, mh, noticed…» He stops, frowning.

Right then, a thought strikes him like a slap across the face, part hope and part dread and entirely stupid. «Gaheris has silver and purple in his arms, too.» Mordred hesitates and bites his lip, feeling inexplicably like a child about to confide some secret that’s at once all too important and too silly to be exposed, and then continues: «Not only that, but the silver reminds me of Orkney’s sea in winter… and that purple, of a flower that blooms sometimes on the heaths near the sea. My brothers and I all used to play on the coast as boys. They already did it long before I was even born.» Another pause. «As for the flower, I think we all picked it for our mother at least once.» And now, its color is dirtied and muddled by bloodstains.

Galahad shakes his head. «I’ve never thought too much about what the colors might mean. But I’ve also never felt like it could belong to any of your brothers.» There’s a light flush on his cheeks, now, a thin note of something that’s almost stubbornness in his voice. Mordred is aware that he could use that to tease him.

He doesn’t feel like teasing him. «Still… how can you be so certain?»

Galahad blinks and then stares him right in the eye, and suddenly his chest is tight, full of something that itches and stings and prickles under the other man’s calm, blue gaze. «Aren’t you? Don’t you feel it’s your heart?»

He does. He does, and that’s just the problem. The itch grows more intense, more unbearable with every moment he keeps his mouth shut to avoid answering. He drops his gaze to the thing that’s still in Galahad’s hands, the thing that’s calling to him and only him and seems to be beating faster and brighter the more he looks at it and does nothing else, almost like it’s yelling at him in its own way for making it wait so long.

«What if I don’t want it,» he says, and his voice sounds rough and weak to his own ears.

«Why wouldn’t you want it?» Galahad asks that like he honestly can’t think of any reason why, like this is the first time anyone in the whole world has ever said anything like what Mordred, not-so-secret bastard prince and prophesized kingslayer and kinslayer of Camelot, has just said. Maybe it is. He’s pretty sure he’s never heard any songs about any beleaguered damsel who simply told the dashing hero at the foot of her dreary tower, oh no, my good sir, you may keep it, I was fine without it and I will not need it anytime soon.

But Mordred is not a vulnerable maiden or locked up against his will and at the mercy of a cruel brother or uncle or eagerly waiting to be rescued since he was half his current height, so he steels himself and tries again: «What if I’m just fine the way I am now? What if I don’t need it, after all? I’ve spent years not feeling anything, I’m used to it.»

He looks up in time to catch the flash of naked hurt that crosses Galahad’s fine features, briefly replacing startled incredulity before it turns into barely concealed worry. «Are you sure?» Then, he seems to really think about it… and the fingers of his right hand start stroking the thing, lightly and unthinkingly. «I… I can imagine something has happened that you may not want to remember. Maybe you’ve felt things you don’t want to feel again. But is this really better? Would you really keep living like this?»

The spark of anger mixed with spite that flares up in his gut – at Galahad’s questioning and his assumptions that he can imagine and that he knows what living like this is like, those soft caresses that feel so impossibly familiar and intimate when at most they should be irritating or even disturbing in their presumptuousness, the way he feels himself ache for entirely new reasons – tempts him to say that yes, he would, and yes, this is better. It has to be. Has to be better than this ridiculous, confusing, terrible mess that Galahad’s dragged him into. Had he never come to Camelot, or least, had he never come to him with truths that sounded like bad jokes and his honest, open gaze and their stupidly engaging arguments and the quiet evenings spent together hiding away from everyone else and…

«Aren’t there things you’d like to feel? For your family, or your friends, or…»

Mordred sighs. There were lots of things, back when he had first given up his heart and spent his every waking moment wishing to get it back somehow. That was years ago, though, and after some time had passed and he had finally figured out that wishing never helped with anything, all of them had started to seem less desirable, less important… just, less. They didn’t matter anymore, and so he didn’t want them then and doesn’t want them now. And yet… it seems foolish to even think about it, like he’s slipping back into stale old fantasies and half-forgotten, senseless hopes, but… maybe there are a couple of new things, now.

He sighs again, this time trying for a slightly exasperated but mostly careless tone, and holds his hands out in front of him as soon as he’s sure they’ve stopped shaking. He swallows and says: «Alright, I think I’ll give it a try. But know that I might just throw it out again and then you’ll be stuck with it.» He tells himself that he’s not afraid. He is, of course, but he’s such a convincing liar, he knows he can convince himself. It can’t be too hard, right?

Galahad grimaces, and that’s not too encouraging, even if he’s quick to school his features before he slowly, almost gingerly reaches his hands out to him, too. Mordred has half a mind to snap at him and say, look, I was only jesting, I’m not saying you’ll really have to keep it or that I’d care if you left it on the wayside or threw it into a well, but then he worries that the bile might blend with actual pity and so he says nothing except for: «How am I supposed to do this, then?» The songs, of course, skip the boring technical details.

Galahad fits the glowing sphere between his palms like he’s putting a newborn into the cradle, touches his fingers to make them curl over it as if he’s afraid he’ll drop it. The sphere is light as a breath, yet somehow solid, and warm like a living thing… which it truly is, all things considered, although that thought still feels a little absurd. Galahad’s skin is warm, too. «I’m not sure,» Galahad admits. «I’ve… never done this before.»

«Yeah, well, neither have I.»

[mitchmarnier]

why do you hate stranger things 3 so much?

Okay so it’s been a year but I’ll admit, I still don’t think I’ve ever been REALLY able to express what it is about the third season of Stranger Things that just made it so-bad but I’m gonna try. Like short answer? For a show that got it’s whole thing from the importance of family and friends, season 3 shoved all of that aside for poorly written romantic relationships. Long answer?

There’s many things but I think that the biggest thing is that even with a pretty decent “main plot” Stranger Things 3 started off almost immediately from the get out with no chance of actually being good, because right away none of these characters were still in character with who we fell in love with, you know?

Joyce Byers, who at a serious base of her character, was an amazing and extremely dedicated mother spending seven out of eight episodes seperated and unconcerned about her children even when she’s suspicious that something was going on. Her kids don���t reach out to her either, even when the literal world seems to be ending around them which is very weird for both Will and Jonathan who are super super aware of how vital and active Joyce has always been in this fight and they don’t even wonder out loud for second why she isn’t there.

And Mike- oh, Mike, sweeties, my dude, I am so sorry- has, sure, always been kind of a little prick. Very stubborn and kind of struggles to see things from other people’s point of view but there was so much more to Mike Wheeler than having a crush on El. Something just does not sit right with me that I’m supposed to believe that Mike threw down on sight for the entire first season for El’s right to be considered a friend to Lucas and Dustin and then apparently, basically, actively took part in the season three concept that she.... didn’t have any friends, and wasn’t friends with anybody except him, and that she never actually became friends with Dustin or Lucas after Mike fought them so goddamn hard about it. It doesn’t make sense! AND NOT TO MENTION, that Mike sent two seasons- two- with an obvious view that saving Will or protecting Will was the most important thing to him and it still took what like? Four episodes for Mike to realize that something was wrong with Will and even then he continuously undercut it and I don’t know who that was but it wasn’t my Mike Wheeler.

LUCAS WOULDN’T BE LIKE THAT. Aside from the whole weird thing where they set up Lucas and Max has been an actually great relationship and then they brought back that season with a showcase that Lucas and Max basically break up once a week and fight continuously to the point where they both think that’s the most normal thing in the world.I just think that- and I know I’m not the only one- is that I am glad that we got a call back to the season one throwaway line that Mike and Lucas are best friends because outside of Dustin saying that, we never really saw it. Lucas seemed to really have little to no patience for Mike at any given point, and I get that, I totally get that. Like, season one they had the same goal- save Will- but they both wanted to go about it in a completely different way (i.e Lucas didn’t really want to waste time on the girl with the superpowers they found in the woods, because he thought their time would be better spent actually looking for Will) and then in season two, Mike runs around being a total dick to the girl Lucas likes and fucks off in end of episode four without word about it and has progressively tried to keep Lucas and Dustin from what’s going on with Will for the most point (because he doesn't trust Max and he was right in believing that Dustin or Lucas would tell this total stranger about Will’s trauma.) and I totally digressed here, but because I was glad to see Lucas and Mike being friends in season three, the concept was highlight they just- went about it so so wrong. Because Lucas has never been shy about telling his friends- and especially Mike- that they’re being fucking idiots. I cannot imagine Lucas actually encouraging Mike to pursue this crack scheme of chasing after El post-break up. Especially not the way it went down, which Mike immediately accepts that El has dump him and it’s over and then Lucas convinces him that it’s not. It very much does hold roots in the poor writing of the Lu/Max relationship this season, but Lu/Max was written the way it was so that they could have Lucas in Mike’s corner and Max in El’s corner to validate and uplift the horrible Mi/leven relationship arc this season in which Lucas for sure would not be in that spot whatsoever if it wasn’t for the poor writing of Mi/leven since the second they left the Snowball. Lu/Max is very much a support piece in Mi/leven rather than its own relationship, and yet Max continues to get her own storyline this season (as... yeah... as that storyline was) but Lucas became a casualty to Mi/leven this year, and only slightly differently to the way Will has been a casualty to Mi/leven... and Mike has been a casualty to Mi/leven. If your main relationship continues to assassinate and rip dry the characters both inside and around it, then it’s really time to take a step away from that relationship and determine if its working or if you just suck at writing for no foreseeable reason.

And like, I guess it’s fair to talk about Max here since it’ll be any easy transition in the sense that- Max Mayfield a casualty to Mi/leven. Like that meme with the people holding hands and it says “my character survived the Mi/leven relationship of 1985” and its Max Mayfield and Dustin Henderson. NOT TO SAY that Max’s character isn’t all over the board, it is a lot harder to decide what Max would or wouldn’t do regarding Mike and El. Because.... we never saw anything with the Max/El relationship outside of Max wanted to know her, and El absolutely wanting nothing to do with that because Mike smiled at her one time and El saw it. Mike and Max is actually a different story, and the more complicated relationship I guess? El/Max was good, even if I didn’t agree with all of the advice that Max gives El (particularly the we make our own rules concept, I fucking hated that and I’ll get there. Oh, I’ll get there.) BECAUSE Mike and Max are just... the Sharpay and Gabriella of Stranger Things. They feud all season for whatever reason, they make up and find common ground at the end, and then it starts back up and they hate each other with no explanation to the understanding that they found. And it wasn’t funny, there wasn’t anything about their rivalry that was funny or amusing or even really served a purpose outside of the fact that they needed to showcase the whole Lu/Max and Mi/leven crap so Mike and Max could be friends because the couples needed to be against each other so Max already needed to hate Mike prior to El coming to her for advice, and therefore the rekindling of their potential friendship at the end of season two was re’cont for that purpose. And it really wasn’t necessary because Max would have had enough going on without being in the middle of the weird Mi/leven break up, and losing her boyfriend. I think a huge like, obvious issue with Max is that season two Max left a lot to be desired. Understandably, season two was a lot bigger than the Duffers had time for so they ended introducing characters (Billy and Max) that we didn’t get to develop in their introductory season enough that where they ended up in season 3 was logical or sensical at all because Billy did nothing except be an evil piece of shit two years until the end where he decides to stop himself from killing this little 13 year old white girl and dies and suddenly he’s a hero who sacrificed himself for the greater good when he really didn’t. And seeing Max horrified and traumatized to him does make sense to an extent, she has known him and lived with him for a large chunk of her life and seeing that happen to anybody would be traumatizing. And people don’t get to determine how someone would react to their abuser dying, because you are not that person and you are experiencing what they are experiencing. HOWEVER, Max did not receive enough explanation from a writer or viewers’ POV for her defending Billy or believing Billy could be good to make sense when she spent almost all of season two avoiding her relationship with Lucas because she knew that Billy was racist and violent and horrible. Max grieving and being traumatized over Billy’s death and quite literally seeing his body, but her actions up to that point didn’t make much sense because not enough writing went into Max as a character since the beginning because she is a victim of the classic Too Many Characters, Not Enough Screen Time to Share.

Ha. The relationship between El and Will really needs to be it’s own point before I even get into them as characters. It’s so... It doesn’t make any sense to me why Will and El are like that. And I guess it does or it can trace back to Mi/leven. The idea that Mike purposely kept El from having any friends and Will would have been a victim of that, and the fact that Will very obviously likes Mike and that showcases in him... not like El??? because they’re dating. But I’m not sure how I’m supposed to believe that Will and El don’t have a connection? El saved Will’s life t w i c e and I’m supposed to believe that he hates her because she’s dating Mike and therefore that doesn’t matter to him and he calls her by a number instead of a name and he overly just seems extremely indifferent towards her at best. But I actually do believe, the lack of an Will & El dynamic is (besides being a totally missed opportunity) was like... blank brained of the writers, I think they genuinely just didn’t think about it because they were really caught up in the relationship drama this season they just didn’t bother to develop El and Will. Which is dumb, because of the whole “we’re supposed to believe that Hopper & Joyce are a good ship” but also supposed to believe that Will and El have never spent any time together AND THEY KNEW THAT THEY WOULD BE L I V I N G TOGETHER at the end of the season and they still nothing to give them any relationship growth at all, and if anything took away what little potential hits of a dynamic they had from the first two seasons. For the sake of what does not sort of look like a queerbait of Mike/Will OR best case scenario (still bad!) a love triangle between the three characters.

For a show that had two seasons dedicated to the importance of Will Byers, it was kind of weird to see him so shoved aside this time around. And this isn’t to take away from El’s importance. It’s not an argument over her being the main character- although I think it’s important to note that they original plan for this show was for her to die in season one, and while I’m glad she’s alive and they changed that, we can’t deny how that decision itself would completely alter the path every single character (especially characters like Mike and Will in particular) would have made. BUT FACTS ARE, this entire show started because of Will. That is something that cannot be argued. The Vanishing of Will Byers was the kick off of this entire thing, and every single main character aside from possibly Steve Harrington, are in this fight because of Will Byers. Not because of El. And yes, El is most definitely the ~stranger thing~ and the titular character of the show, it’s fucking ludicris to try and imply that Will is not pretty much as just as important as El. And so for season three to undercut everything about that and use Will as detection device (that only gave you about 15 seconds warning) and have his actual emotional storyline dropped in the 4th episode and only come up again in the sense of refusing to even hear apologies from Lucas or Mike, is the epitome of bullshit.

I’m just going to start off here by saying, I like El, I do. BUT- I’m very aware that El is a victim of her surroundings. She doesn’t have much of her own personality, she has from the beginning allowed herself to simply accept what other people tell her and do that. Say that, repeat it. The Best Time for El as a character was with Kali and her deepest moment of like, personal reflection is when she said no to going with Kali because she needed to go back to Hawkins and save her friends. That really set up a lot of really good growth for El, the idea she was becoming her own person and that she could move forward as herself, who she is, who she wants to be. And I understand the trauma behind her and why she has such an unstable sense of self but it was still disappointing to watch her revert back to following by example in her personal life while continuously forced to be seen as leader in any situation. She follows Mike’s example in the beginning, with Hopper and being super obnoxious but she’s also very quick to jump back over to Hopper’s side when addressing Mike later and burshing off what he’s trying to tell her (i.e your father threatened my life and I didn’t know how to proceed from that point and I’m sorry I lied to you) and she also word for word quotes Max a lot. Including situations which the boy she’s supposedly in love with expresses his discomfort in her. When El reveals that she’s gone into the the void and watched the boys doing whatever, Mike quickly jumps to point out that those were “against the rules” aka personal boundaries that have obviously been set between Mike and El for a reason and she shoots back that she makes her own rules, like Max said about a pretty different situation nonetheless, and invalidates what Mike is trying to say in that moment again. It also doesn’t really sit right with me that she plays dumb with Mike in that grocery store will he is clearly having trouble declaring love for her (which says a lot about how Mike feels) and then bringing it back up three months later, and using it as a justification for kissing him and declaring love towards him after he has said he didnt even remember the conversation she’s referencing from three months earlier and she does not say “I love you” she says “I love you, too.” Which is so very different, because it is her literally acknowledging that she sat there and played dumb (not didn’t understand, which is totally different, but did understand and wanted and enjoyed him struggling to say something) and they threw it back at him as a validation of their relationship- yet it was something he was unable to say to her. I think a big issue with El, is that she has somehow become somebody above being criticized for her actions. What was wrong with Mi/leven this season is not 100% an issue with Mike Wheeler, El very much had a hand in that destruction and with how the season ended, I don’t doubt that she was will  have an even larger hand in the problems going forward because El is smart, and she understands shit, but she pretends that she doesn’t when it’s works for her. Being around Hopper and to even greater extent, the things she lived through in the lab, El is very aware of how to manipulate people and it’s a behaviour she is going to have to unlearn. She might not even be completely aware of just how wrong it is but nobody is going to tell her what she’s doing because I don’t even think it’s realized that she’s doing it and fandom itself chooses to ignore that she’s done it.

And I don’t know how a show that could create the iconic character growth of Steve Harrington is also writing all these other character development blunders, full stop.

[msjr0119]

We Belong

Part 10 - Heaven

Evangeline Bruley returns to Cordonia to take over her families Duchy. She was betrothed to the now King, however he is engaged to Duchess Riley but still has lingering feelings towards his first love. What will happen during her time back in Cordonia?

Just using combined tag list- if you want to be removed just let me know 😊

@pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @dcbbw @qammh-blog @nz1091 @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @jared2612 @desiree---1986 @gardeningourmet @twinkle-320 @queenjilian @forthebrokenheartedthings-blog @princessleac1 @scarletreesex

Thankyou @pedudley and @kacie-0156 for pre-Reading, my minds all over the place at the moment so I could have wrote utter garbage 🤣 YOU LITTLE SUPERSTARS 😘

Warnings: Drama sorry not in this chapter 😉...FLUFF! What is wrong with me? I never do a full chapter of fluff 🤣 , closure after a miscarriage, matchmaking friends 🙌🏼, swearing.

Characters belong to Pixelberry apart from OC’s; Duchess Evangeline Bruley and Duke Tobias Farbridge.

*****

“What are you doing here?” Evie asked, believing they both had an ESP moment- both thinking about seeing each other and not leaving it a minute later. Handing her the flowers he had chosen, he kissed her on the cheek. His touch seemed to linger there for a moment, until he began to nervously fidget.

“I hope you like them, I know it’s not much but... I just needed you to know that I care still. I wanted to see you, I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. Are you going somewhere?” Seeing the disappointment on his face, she cupped his cheek- softly smiling at him.

“I was going somewhere. But it would have been a waste of journey. I was wanting to see you too. I love them Drake, they are beautiful.”

“Well I feel like such a gooseberry now.”

“Sav?”

“She insisted on becoming my shadow.”

“Like I was Evie’s shadow as kids, you inspired me Evie- I wanted to be like you. Anyway, how about we have a sleepover like old times? I’ve brought snacks, I’ll cook- not as good as Michaela cooked though. But I’ll try... why don’t you two go and talk?” Evie welcomed them both in, smelling the flowers one last time- the aroma flooded her senses. Savannah laid out the snacks that they had brought with them and insisted that she would deal with the flowers.

****

Evie escorted Drake upstairs, as they entered her room- he noticed the dress on the floor, wondering why it was there along with his letter. Flashbacks from the nights leading up to her attack rushing through his mind.

“Evie I can’t be with you... I’m so sorry.”

“Evie you can’t leave me, one reason- I don’t really want to be a Duke... unless I marry you. Two, I’m sorry for trying to protect you and finishing us. I love you so much... I’m a dickhead for letting you go. Please don’t leave me... I love you.”

“Where are the fucking paramedics? Evie, I’ve known that I’ve loved you since I was probably about thirteen. I waited years to have you in my arms. You and I have a great future. Just us. I fucked up, please forgive me. Maybe in time we can have a little Gracie and a little Tommy. You can’t give up, I’m not leaving you...”

Little Gracie and little Tommy, we could have had that. We did have that.

“Drake? Are you okay?” She turned to face him as she picked the dress up and placed it back in the dress bag. Slightly embarrassed that she had left her room as a shit tip, eager to go and see him after reading his letter.

“Seeing that dress again, that night...I thought I lost you...”

“I’m sorry. I cant throw it out- you bought me it after all.” Focusing his gaze onto her, rather that the item that provided one bad memory- he didn’t want to hear an apology from her.

“I’m the one that’s sorry, don’t you ever apologise.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, she joined him- as he held his head in his hands. Placing her arm on his leg, he raised his head up providing her with a half hearted smile.

“I am sorry though. If I didn’t defend Riley, if I didn’t argue with your mom, if I wasn’t stubborn and spoke to you..... things would have been different... we would still have our baby...” Her eyes formed tears as her voice became shaky saying this- the walls that she had surrounded herself by, slowly began to collapse. Drake immediately put his arm around her, supporting her as her lips continued trembling- her tears dripped off her chin and onto his shirt, slightly drenching it. He sobbed on her shoulder steadily, as he held her protectively. The pain that they had both kept hidden came in waves, crying - then mini pauses for recovering their breathing. Both thinking about their memories from the last few weeks, whilst they were separated.

“Are you ready to leave? Would you like someone to pick you up?” Dr Hussain asked her, still feeling guilt ridden about not exposing the full extent of her injuries.

“I’m a big girl, I’ll get a taxi back. Thank you for everything Doctor.”

“You’re welcome your grace. I’d like to see you in a month or so for a follow up, if there’s any questions you need to ask- or you have any symptoms that are on the leaflet don’t hesitate on returning.” Evie nodded, leaving the hospital - she hoped that there was no press outside.

Arriving back at her Duchy the door was open, her heart beat began to race wondering who was there.

“Hello?” She asked hoping it wasn’t any of her friends. Whilst she had been in hospital she had a lot of time to think- not knowing why she was an emotional wreck she didn’t want any empathy from anyone- or for anyone to fuss. This was the second time since her return that she had become a burden. The hospital had insisted that she should have a bit of counselling due to the trauma, whilst alone she did have traumatic flashbacks of the memories but felt the stigma would label her if she admitted it.

“Your grace, welcome home.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“My apologies, my name is Annabelle. King Liam hired me to help you until you have made a full recovery.”

“Of course he did.” Rolling her eyes back she didn’t have the energy to berate her friend for hiring help behind her back. “I’m sorry for being so abrupt. A little warning would have been appreciated.”

“Of course. If you need me for anything, just let me know.”

“For the mean time can you turn away any visitors please. That would be a big help.” Annabelle nodded as she watched Evie robotically walk around her Duchy.

Over the next few weeks, Evie eventually came out of her shell with Annabelle- the two women getting to know each other and becoming friends. She was grateful for Annabelle agreeing to her terms regarding no visitors- the younger woman believed that the Duchess could have been depressed and this was why she was acting strange towards her friends- not really having an explanation as to why she was avoiding the people that cared for her.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you want to see anyone?” Annabelle eventually asked, not wanting Evie to berate her for asking.

“I honestly don’t know. Ever since I returned, I’ve always made the wrong decisions. Maybe I want to prevent doing this again?”

“They care for you.”

“I know. I care for them too. I love them all. I suppose I just need time alone. There’s so many secrets within Cordonia, so many scandals occur. I lost my parents due to the vicious people within Liam’s court- I fell in love with one of my oldest friends and he publicly dumped me. I thought after all this time, he was the one. At this moment in time, I don’t want any more heartbreak. If I keep myself to myself I can’t get myself into anymore trouble.”

“Anything you need your grace, I’m here. But ...”

“But... I know I’m going to have to face them at some point..” Flicking through the photos in her phone of her and Drake, her heart sunk. I miss you so much.

- - -

Drake remained in his room most of the nights alone, his mind wondering what Evie was doing. Did she still hate him? Was she going to hold that anger towards him for the rest of her life. Liam and the others had tried to invite him out- to make him become more sociable. They knew the guilt he felt towards what had happened to Evie- in a way they did too. They were all frustrated with Evie blocking them out of her life. They just wanted to make sure that she had settled back home, that she was being looked after by Annabelle. Two weeks after she had been discharged, Liam made his way to Drakes room- concerned about his friend, he had hoped that he would open up so he could help him.

“Hi.” Liam noticed how Drake had let himself go, but was grateful for him answering the door.

“Hello, can I come in?” Drake allowed him in, Liam noticed Evie’s hoody on his friends bed. Photos of the two of them that he had printed off, scattered across his bed.

“Look at you two, king and queen of selfies. They are lovely photos of you both.”

“Just distant memories now.”

“She will come around... soon... I hope...” Liam said not sounding very enthusiastic.

“What if she leaves Cordonia? Leaves everyone because of me?”

“She won’t do that. I won’t allow her to.” Smirking at his best friend, Liam knew he would do everything and anything to prevent her from running away.

“All you wanted in life was for Evie to love you back.. the way you loved her... I got a girl to love me, a girl who means so much to me and I fucked up. You’d have given any opportunity to have that Li.”

“I love Evie, I always will do. But seeing you this way proves how much you love her. Yes I was a jerk in Vegas, but I could see that she loves you- you both make a fabulous couple. You ‘fucked up’ to protect her. You always protect the women you love, it’s not the first time. I want you both to be happy, it’s going to take time after all that she’s been through. But I’m here always Drake, you’re like my brother.”

“You’re not angry with me?”

“What on earth for?”

“Oh you know for falling for another one of your girls, for breaking Evie’s heart...”

“Technically, Evie has never been my girl. Our betrothal ended when we was fourteen. Yes we slept together after that, we kissed after that. I hoped that in time she would fall for me naturally- I told her I loved her constantly, she never told me it back- only as in friends. With Riley, technically she wasn’t officially mine either when you grew feelings towards her. I love them both, and I know you do too. But you have more love towards Evie. Once she finds out about the baby, you both may become closer and can try again.”

“Li she won’t talk to me, or see me. I can’t see it happening anytime soon.”

“Think positive Drake, you never know... one day you both could be saying your vows in front of me.”

“Hell no. You are being my best man, I’m not having Maxwell or Bertrand stood next to me.”

“Thanks for asking me in advance. I’d be honoured to be your best man.” Liam laughed, dreading to imagine the Beaumont’s as best men. “You’ll both work it out. Are you coming to the beer garden? Men only- I promise we won’t mention anything about the women.”

“I’m going to stay here. Maybe another day. Thanks for the talk Li.” Liam nodded, as he walked out of the room he noticed Drake pull Evie’s hoody towards him- tears flowing uncontrollably down his cheeks. I miss you so much.

“I’m sorry, I’ve ruined your infamous denim jacket. I really need to invest in some waterproof mascara.” Drake tilted her chin up, caressing her cheek- his thumb wiped away the mascara.

“I’ve got plenty, don’t worry. You’re still beautiful with or without mascara.”

“Charmer...”

“Just telling the truth. Are we okay? Can we be friends again?” I want to be more than friends, but I’ll accept friendship.

“We’ve always been friends Drake. Always will be..” I want to be more than friends.

“It’s good to see that smile again. I’ve been thinking, tell me if it’s a stupid idea...”

“What?”

“One day, do you fancy visiting your parents graves and my dads grave... put something like a memorial there for the baby. I know you wouldn’t have been that far along, but I know they would all be looking after their grandchild... I know it’s stupid, if you think it is just ignore me.”

“It’s not stupid... it’s sweet... we can put a teddy there? Or a balloon?”

“We can go there if we ever feel like we need to speak to them or the baby... just let me know when you want to do it.”

“I always go to my parents graves. I actually went there when I started to fall for you, I told them. I tell them everything even though they aren’t here. I even dreamt about them and your dad when I passed out.. silly I know...”

“It’s not silly, I still talk to my dad. I miss him so much, as you miss them.”

“I do miss them..” Drake didn’t respond, instead he held her in his embrace lovingly. Kissing her on the forehead, he could stay like that all night- making up for lost time. However he believed that they shouldn’t, he wanted to go back as to what they were- but didn’t want to show himself up in case she rejected him.

“I think we should go down, Savannah could end up causing a fire...” Evie nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. It wasn’t the first time Savannah’s attempts at cooking had ended in disaster.

*****

The two of them joined Savannah downstairs, who had kept herself busy making food- for once preventing the fire brigade to be called out. Sitting on the couch, they all spoke like they did in the past- bringing up good memories as well as bad memories. All comforting each other. Evie hadn’t yet met Bartie, so mainly spoke about him to Savannah who beamed about her son.

“Your parents basically adopted us when our father passed away. Drake and Savannah Bruley, doesn’t quite have a ring it... or what about if you all changed your name to ours, Evangeline Walker- now that has a ring to it. Don’t you think Drake?” Drakes eyes widened at his sister’s comment, wishing she would shut up.

“Well it’s better than Evangeline Rhys.. or Evangeline Farbridge...” Evie laughed in response, not realising what Savannah was hinting at. Savannah hid her smile, seeing her brother become all flustered. Before they arrived at the Duchy she caught him admiring something that they hadn’t seen in years.

“Hey, So Bertrand updated me on the council meeting... apparently everyone was ready to throw mom into a poison lake. Evie positively spoke about mom, defending her. Wanting to get her help, even after what happened.” Drake didn’t respond, instead he stared at the diamonds in front of him. “Drake!”

“Sorry, what?”

“Did you hear what I said about the meeting?”

“Yeah, Evie wants to get her help... I heard ya...”

“So why ignore me? Why have you got the ring out of the box?”

“If she didn’t lose the baby, we’d have been a family... I’d have asked her to become my wife as well as my child’s mom.”

“Do you want to marry her?”

“Why would she want to marry me? I failed her as a boyfriend and a father. She came over before you arrived, asked me to go to hers tomorrow to talk...”

“Anyone would be lucky to marry you Drake, you’re the most loyal person I know. Yeah you made a mistake, we all do at times- but don’t you dare blame yourself about the baby. Why are you sat around moping about? Get a shave, get your shit together and let’s go to see your girl- slumber party like the old days. You know from what I’ve heard, you two are made for each other. I don’t understand how no one saw it before- thinking back ...all the star crossed lovers act...”

“Dad knew, he confronted me about it days before he died. Telling me to fight for her.”

“Come on, use that Walker charm. Buy her some flowers on route- that usually works.”

“So what’s next on the trip down memory lane Sav?” Evie asked, for the first time in weeks she felt content with the company she had.

“Plaiting each other’s hair? I’ll go and get a brush and the bobby pins.” Standing up she enthusiastically clapped her hands, enjoying her night away from Mommy duties. Drake shook his head knowing the two women were going to go into full slumber party mode any minute now.

“Evie? I’m going to go back to the palace, before you both turn me into a sugarplum fairy...”

“You don’t have to go...”

“Trust me I do, I’m not having Savannah try and paint my nails or you attempting to plait my hair like you both used to...”

“It’s long enough now to do that... and don’t criticise my hairdressing skills Walker. If the baby was a girl, I’d be doing her hair everyday.”

“Yeah, between the two of you you’d have replaced me with our daughter to be your next girl’s world victim.” God we did torture him, what a marshmallow. He could pass off as a drag queen if myself and savannah got our hands on him right.

“She would have been asking her daddy to paint her nails, and you’d have to oblige and say yes and possibly paint your own until she had friends.” If the baby was a girl, she wouldn’t have any friends, any bitches that could hurt her, any boyfriends until she’s at least 21.

“Maybe... you’d have spoilt her rotten.” She would have been daddy’s little princess. Even if it was boy, he would have admired Drake- as Drake did with Jackson.

“I would have done. You and I are just going to be the crazy drunk aunt and uncle to the heir... although you’re already that to Bartie.” I don’t want to be known as the drunk Uncle, I wanted our baby. I still do. Winking at him she hoped he wouldn’t become offended with her comment.

“I’m not drinking anymore Evie, I poured away the whiskey. I want to prove I’m something. Something to everyone- somebody to you.” So that’s why he was pouring it away.

“Drake.. you are everything to me. That’s why it hurt so much... when you... you said you couldn’t be with me.” Fuck I’ve made her cry again, you idiot Drake. Can we get back to what we were? Try again?

Savannah overheard their conversation, her heart sunk for them- feeling guilty for keeping Bartie away from Bertrand for all that time when the two people in front of her had lost everything.

“Hey, I’m going to have to go. Barties come down with a cold.” Is that the best excuse I could come up with? “I promise we will do this again... Sooner rather than later.”

“Oh... I’m sure Bartie wants you to comfort him- I mean if it turns into a sickness bug could you imagine Bertrand’s face if his son ruined his infamous vests?” Evie laughed attempting to picture the duke as a father.

“I’ll take you back to Ramsford... goodnight Evie.” Don’t go. Please. Kissing her on the cheek, Savannah’s mind starting ticking.

“No!” Savannah snapped at the two who looked confused with her outburst.

“No?” Drake questioned his sister, usually she would take any opportunity to use him as a taxi- he kept wondering why the change of heart.

“I’ll get a taxi, you stay here with Evie. Keep her company.”

“I was just going to have an early night, don’t worry about me. Thank you for both coming.” Noticing Savannah wink at him Drake soon understood the sudden yet unexpected illness of his nephew. Fucking matchmaker Savannah, what a shame she couldn’t think like this with her own relationship.

“Evie doesn’t want me to stay here, as she said she’s having an early night. And I promised Liam a night cap.” Please don’t confirm this with Liam.

“Fuck Liam. Evie’s got plenty of beds here, you could play Goldilocks until you found the right bed. There’s plenty of food, and snacks- it’ll last you both a couple of days. Love ya both.” Before either could respond, Savannah shot out of the door and into a taxi. A couple of days? They both silently said in their minds.

“I wonder if the taxi times have become more punctual since I returned- you think about ordering one and bam it’s there.”

“You and I both know she lied about Bartie. Sneaky bitch. It doesn’t take that long to get hair accessories. I’m sorry, I’ll make you a drink and go.” I don’t want you to go. Please stay with me.

“I...” Pausing, she didn’t want to sound desperate- especially when she had avoided him as well as everyone else for weeks. “Thank you.”

Drake walked over to the kitchen island, he poured her a glass of orange juice and handed it to her. Staring down into the drink, Drake noticed her in a trance, he began to wonder what she was thinking.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing. Thank you. Let me know when you get back, drive safely. I just panic after what happened with my parents.”

“I don’t want to leave you. I just didn’t want you to feel awkward if I stayed. I’ve never stopped loving you, even when you wasn’t mine. I held a torch for you, never believing that we would be more than friends.”

“I don’t want you to leave.. I didn’t feel the same when we was younger, or maybe I did but I ignored it...do you remember your dads funeral when Liv and Penny dragged me away?”

“Of course I do, I didn’t want to be around anyone but you and Sav. Why?”

Olivia whispered into Penelope’s ear, both nodding whilst smirking. Having an inkling that there was something more to Drake and Evie’s friendship- she was eager to find out the truth, even if it killed her.

“Duke Bruley, Duchess Bruley.. May we borrow Evie for a second?” They both nodded, watching as the two girls ushered their daughter away.

“You’re hurting me! What’s the matter? I should be with Savannah and Drake. They’ve just buried their father...”

“But you was with your parents...” Olivia stayed sarcastically, whilst raising her eyebrow.

“Yeah but they need me...”

“Listen Evie, you were betrothed to marry Liam. But you spend more time with them. We are going to play a little game...”

“Oohhh I like games...” Penelope smiled excitedly.

“So Evie... snog, marry or fuck... options are Liam, Maxwell and Drake...”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard, join in if you’d like Penelope.”

“Okay, so I’d snog Maxwell, marry Liam and fuck Drake... don’t tell Kiara about Drake though- she has a major crush on him..”

“Well I’d have to do all that with Liam seen as though I was being forced to marry him. Even though the betrothal isn’t planned anymore, they are still going to try their hardest for it to still happen. There are you happy?”

“No, you cheated. Answer right.”

“Liv, I’m not like you. I don’t think about things like that. Snog Maxwell, seen as though I’ve already done that...”

“And you’ve done it with Liam...”

“Your point is Pen?”

“Nothing... carry on Evie.”

“Fuck Liam, marry Drake...”

“Interesting, why?”

“Because I couldn’t chose the same as Penelope...” Olivia and Penelope looked at each other then at their friend waiting for an elaboration. “Well Liam is going to be good in bed if he’s anything like his brother unless those stories are all fake. Drake, I think he will make a protective husband... like his father was protective over them all. But none of this matters, so can we all go and support Drake and Savannah please?”

After reiterating the memory, she shook her head as she blushed. Drake looked pretty smug with her answers.

“I’m actually offended that you didn’t choose me for every one of those options..” Joking he knew she was well out of his league, she always had been- but deep down he wondered what would happen if that happened in the future, especially after his talk with his sister.

“I... shut up Drake... we really should have asked Olivia what she would have chosen...”

“Hate Drake, stab Drake and finally kill Drake... she would have cheated too...”

“That could possibly be quite true.. I’ve missed you, and your sarcasm...”

“Is that all you’ve missed? My sarcasm?”

“I’ve missed you.. I’ve missed us... I’m sorry I shut you out.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t try harder, I still love you so much. Michaela and Alexander produced the most beautiful and strong young woman I’ve ever known. There’s something you should know... I liked them a lot, they looked after us when they didn’t need to. I want to look after you to repay them, and I’m not going to hurt you again- but if you hate me I’ll understand. The truth about your parents death....” Evie placed her fingers on his lips, not needing or wanting for him to elaborate.

“I know.. your mom caused their deaths...”

“How?”

“Constantine had the guards do an investigation into it. He didn’t believe the person who insisted they killed them. Then they confessed it was your mom- but she hadn’t returned since their deaths and he didn’t want to do anything because she was your mom and I agreed.”

“Why would you both let something like that go?”

“It was an accident Drake, she was drunk. She isn’t the Bianca we all once knew. If she would accept help, it would benefit everyone.”

“It wasn’t a damn accident Evie, stop defending her! She knew what she was fucking doing. She told me at the rehearsal, showed no remorse. That’s why I finished our relationship, I didn’t want her hurting you. But she did that anyway; not only did she kill your parents, she could have killed you, she killed our baby...”

“I know...I know... if I could turn back time.. I would in an instant...”

“I didn’t mean to shout, it’s just so frustrating...”

“It’s fine, what room are you staying in then Goldilocks?”

“I’ll sleep on the couch. It’s comfy.”

“Don’t be stupid. There’s plenty of beds as Savannah said, she should know. I think she tested them all out when she stayed on her own.” Drake knew he couldn’t argue with her, if he insisted on staying on the couch she would berate him and force him to a bed- any bed. Leading him upstairs, she showed him into the guest room next to hers.

“I think this is the best guest room, and as you’re my guest of honour you should stay here tonight. Do you need anything? Blankets? Some water? A toothbrush?”

“Stop mothering me Evie, I’m fine. I don’t need anything, but thank you.” Nodding her head, she bit her lip as he removed his jacket and top- realising she was hypnotised by his muscled body she didn’t want him to notice her gawking at him- drooling over him like a pup.

“Goodnight Walker.”

“Goodnight Bruley.” Exiting the room, Drake sat on the edge of the bed- he was glad that Savannah had insisted on coming, he and Evie had that bit of closure that they both needed. Evie stood outside the guest room, reiterating their conversations throughout the night in her mind. A sudden realisation hit, something that she had forgotten to tell him something.

“Drake?” Knocking on the door, she didn’t know how long it had been since she had said goodnight. For all she knew it could have been thirty seconds- surely he won’t be asleep yet.

“Did you forget something? Are you okay?”

“You know when we was talking about my parents death and you told me that you still love me? Well I forgot to tell you that I still love you too..” He lent down, his lips brushed against her cheek lightly and hesitantly- his touch sent shivers through her body. Even though he had kissed her on the cheek before throughout the night this time was different. Reaching up, she pulled him down to her, guiding his lips onto hers- no time for words to escape his mouth or hers as they were lost within each other. As his arms circled her, gathering her against him, he bent his knees slightly and picked her up. Evie wrapped her legs around him- as the kissing continued. Carrying her over to the bed, he wanted more- of course he did, he had missed her. But he had spent time researching recovery time after a miscarriage and traumatic injuries. Laying her gently on the bed, he laid next to her- Evie placed her head on his chest, draping her arms around him.

“Can I stay here with you?”

“You don’t need to ask me, it’s your home. You make the decisions. But I’d like you to stay with me.”

“Makes a change from my room.” Sitting up she took her clothes off, leaving just her underwear on- not being bothered to walk to her room for pajamas. As she did this and discarded the clothes on the floor, Drake noticed the scar on her abdomen.

“Don’t look at it, please. It’s horrible, it makes my body ugly.” Natural instinct made him lean down, and kiss the scar tenderly.

“No it doesn’t. It shows how strong you are.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, gently holding her in his embrace. She immediately sunk into the warmth of his body- feeling loved once again. Within minutes, Drake suddenly realised that she had fallen asleep.

“I love you.” He whispered, not expecting her to hear it- but he just wanted her know.

Oh once in your life you find someone

Who will turn your world around

Bring you up when you're feelin' down

Yeah nothin' could change what you mean to me

Oh there's lots that I could say

But just hold me now

'Cause our love will light the way

And baby, you're all that I want

When you're lyin' here in my arms

I'm findin' it hard to believe

We're in heaven

****

Savannah arrived at Ramsford and was greeted by everyone, all hoping that she had some news.

“What took you so long?” Riley asked, with the others also wondering this. They had expected her to return hours ago.

“Well you can’t just turn up, and expect them to get back together in an instant. It takes time. She seemed comfortable in our company. I lied saying Bartie was ill, or I’d have still been there. And Drake lied about having an arrangement to meet you Liam for a nightcap. I overheard them talking about the baby, imagining that it was a girl... they didn’t seem upset, it was closure.. that both of them needed. What’s happening with Mom Liam? Not that I care, I just know Evie would regret what she said.”

“Well Bianca did expose something in a malicious way. I’ve held off on the punishments for them both for now. Did you leave the letter and boarding tickets?”

“Of course I did, I left them on her bed. I did it discretely.”

“If that’s a dig at me Sav, I’d have done it discretely too...” They all looked at Maxwell, eyebrows raised before bursting out laughing- knowing that he would have failed the task- or was too eager to spill the surprise that they had all planned after the council meeting.

“I propose a toast to my soon to be brother in law and Duchess Evangeline..” Bertrand said, smirking- proud of his fiancées actions.

“May the two of them find happiness once again, and both stop being so stubborn.”

[no-drama-llama90]

COMPROMISE - Steve Rogers x Reader Imagine

So this is a Fic I actually wrote a little while ago on my old blog. As its one of my favourite MCU Fics that I’ve written I thought I’d repost it here!!!

Author: @no-drama-llama90​

WC: 4674

Relationship: Steve Rogers x Reader, Tony Stark!Best Friend x Reader

Summary: Just Fluff and Cuteness mostly. Mentions of PTSD and trauma. Set at the start of Civil War. What should have happened!!! gif credit

I was laying on my stomach sprawled across my bed, flipping through a magazine, using air to lift the pages with a simple flick of my fingers, when a low chuckle made me look up.

“You know that is super lazy… I approve!”

My face split into a large grin as I spotted my best friend in the entire world nonchalantly leaning against my doorway. I gave an excited squeal, leaping off of my bed and hurtling towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck as he laughed and spun me around.

“Tony, what are you doing here?” I leant back and slapped him lightly on the arm.

Tony Stark gave a pretend grimace and rubbed the spot I had whacked him while following me to sit on my bed. He looked around the small but bright room that had been given to me on my arrival to the Avengers Compound, lingering on the photos on my desk and shelves.

“I always liked that photo,” Tony murmured, looking at the largest photograph on display.

I followed his gaze and gave a small sad smile. “So do I,” I replied softly, my eyes skimming over the smiling faces in the picture. Tony was there, young and exuberant, his arm around my teenage self. My little brother looked surly, having been made to stop whatever game he was playing. Our parents stood proudly behind us. Howard and Maria Stark stood next to my mum and dad, the four best friends laughing and full of life.

Everyone in that photo, except for Tony and I, was dead now.

“So what are you doing here?” I eventually asked the man sitting contemplatively on my bed.

“What, I can’t just pop in to see you?” Tony joked but I picked up on the tension hidden in his voice.

“Hey,” I said softly, making him look at me with a hand on his cheek. I slipped off his glasses so I could see into his eyes. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

Tony seemed to war with himself, an internal battle of will. “I just…” he started but was interrupted by another figure arriving in my doorway.

“Tony!”

I looked up to see Steve looking at Tony a little apprehensively, Wanda hovering in the hallway behind the Captain.

“Captain!” Tony stood and gripped Steve’s hand. Steve smiled genuinely and clapped Tony on the shoulder. The men stepped backwards and Steve’s expression turned unreadable.

“You brought the Secretary of State?” Steve’s tone had an undercurrent of tension, obviously questioning Tony’s motive.

Tony gave a quick nod of his head as an answer and started walking down the hallway, Steve falling into step beside him.

Wanda waited for me to exit my room, my best friend in the compound linking her arm through mine as we followed the two Superheroes to the conference room.

We were the last to arrive, the others already sitting around the large table standing in the middle of the room. Secretary Ross was standing at the front of the table, looking less than impressed by being made to wait. Wanda took the empty chair by Vision, while Steve, Tony and I took seats towards the back of the room. Taking my place at the end of the table between Sam and Steve, I looked over my shoulder to see that Tony wasn’t sitting at the table but instead had taken a seat right in the back left-hand corner.  I frowned at him over my shoulder but he was looking down at his hands, actively avoiding the questioning eyes in the room.

I was properly worried now. His behaviour reminded me of how he was after New York. The panic attacks and insomnia that led him down a dangerous path, that at the time I had not been around to stop.

Secretary Ross started speaking, starting a long tirade. I grew wary as he continued to talk, not liking what I was hearing.

Then he started the slideshow of the destruction left behind by our team.

“New York!” His voice rang out and suddenly there were images of falling buildings and ruined streets crawling with aliens.

I stiffened, my eyes glued to the screen although I desperately wanted to look away.

A large warm hand covered mine, squeezing gently, lending me silent support. I looked up into Steve’s understanding eyes. I smiled weakly at him, portraying my thanks, before looking over my shoulder at Tony. My best friend’s eyes, trained on the projection at the front of the room, were overly bright.

It was the New York Battle that had claimed the lives of my parents and younger brother. And seeing them die right in front of my eyes had awoken the otherwise dormant elemental powers in me. Without New York, I would be a normal college student trying to find her way in the world and popping in to see my family on the weekends.

But life hadn’t worked out that way.

Secretary Ross had moved onto the other cities we’d been in, each name displaying more destruction onto the screen.

“Washington D.C.” Steve stiffened beside me as we watched the three Insight Helicarriers crash into the water.

“Sokovia.” I flicked my gaze towards Wanda, wishing I were closer to where she was sitting, as we watched her home city mid-destruction.

“Lagos.” As the decimated building came into view, I saw Wanda frown and look away, fidgeting in her seat. My blood started to boil. How dare this little man come in and rub our mistakes in our faces. I shot the Secretary a glare that could’ve peeled paint, just as Steve’s commanding tone rang out clearly.

“Okay, that’s enough!” Steve’s eyes were on Wanda, concern making his brow furrow.

Ross gave a nod to his assistant, the projection shutting off as the Secretary continued his long spiel.

“For the past four years, you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That's an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution.”

Ross’ assistant handed him a large foreboding book and slid it onto the table in front of Wanda who gave it a quick glance before sliding it across the table to Rhodey.

“The Sokovia Accords. Approved by a hundred and seventeen countries… it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organisation. Instead, they'll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary.”

I peered down the table at the thick book that Rhodey was flicking through, only half paying attention to the conversation still flowing around me. My mind was racing as it came to the realisation of what that book represented.

I turned to glance over my shoulder, just as Steve and Tony traded a loaded look. I turned back towards the table, my eyes meeting with Wanda’s. She looked scared, fear filling her eyes, despite her attempt to keep her expression neutral.

Ross had started to walk away from the table when Nat spoke up for the first time, making my head snap towards her and then towards the Secretary to watch his response.

“And what if we come to a decision you don’t like?”

“Then you retire.”

The whole atmosphere in the room was loaded with tension as the Secretary walked out. I looked around at my team, my family, and knew that I couldn’t let this happen to them. My mind was painting a very clear picture of where this was going and I did not like it one bit.

I stood, ignoring the questioning looks, and walked quickly after Ross, catching up with him at the elevators.

“Secretary Ross?” I called, making him pause in his tracks and look back at me. “Do you remember me? You used to play golf with my father.”

“Y/N Y/L/N. Bobby’s daughter right?” Ross squinted at me questioningly. “What can I do for you?”

I took a deep breath, strengthening my resolve. “Those accords, the panel, the UN involvement, it’s all just bureaucratic bullshit and you know it, sir.”

Ross looked slightly taken aback but then gave a small wry smile. “Is that so?”

I nodded my head and took a step closer. “I grew up surrounded by it. I know a political move when I see it. Someone, somewhere, has an agenda and is using these accords to achieve it.” I locked eyes with him, refusing to budge.

“And you think that's me?” All signs of humour were gone from his now unreadable expression.

I took a deep breath and then continued. I was in too deep anyways to back off now. “I don’t know, sir,” I replied honestly, shrugging my shoulders a little. “All I know is there are only three reasons for these accords to be made.”

“One, they’re hoping that the Avengers will disappear altogether. Two, they want their own personal army to do whatever they want whenever they want. Or number three, they honestly think that the people of the world need protection from the Avengers. And I’m here to tell you that none of those things is going to happen!”

Ross’ expression was now a mixture of confusion and anger. “Is that so. Tell me, little girl, why?”

“Because if it’s reasons one or two there is no way that those people in that room, who have put their lives on the line countless times, will go down without a fight and no way that they will blindly do some bureaucrats dirty work for them.”

“And reason number three, wanting to protect civilians from what we perceive as a danger to their lives?” Ross asked, not able to mask his curiosity.

“My dad told me that you were a smart man, Mr Secretary,” I cocked my head to the side. “You know that these accords will never work. They are doomed to fail.”

Ross didn’t reply, just continued to look at me calculatingly.

“Putting a panel in charge of the Avengers is like putting a flock of geese in charge of herding a bunch of cattle. Nothing is going to get done and pandemonium is bound to follow, and people will die.”

“So, what do you suggest we do?”

His question caught me off guard. I had honestly not expected him to pay attention to a word I said.

I thought about it for a moment. “Honestly I’m not sure,” I said truthfully. “But I know that together we can come up with a solution that better suits everyone.”

“A compromise?” Ross picked up on what I was saying, his mouth quirking up at the corners.

“A compromise,” I agreed, nodding my head in affirmation.

“And you think you and the others.” Ross swept a hand towards the conference room behind us. “Can come up with a better solution.”

“I think we can if we have more time!”

“Fine.” Ross turned towards the elevators and nodded to his assistant who pressed the button to call the lift.

“Sir?” I questioned, not quite sure what he meant.

“You have your time, Miss Y/L/N. I will talk to the UN and get the Vienna meeting pushed. You have one week, one week, to come up with a better solution or the Accords will be ratified.” Ross glared at me in a warning way. “Don’t let me down after all your pretty speeches.”

The lift doors closed on the Secretary, leaving me feeling deflated and little nauseous.

“Well, that was amazing.” A deep voice came from behind me, making me spin around in shock. I hadn’t realised that anyone else was in the corridor.

Steve gave me an unreadable stare, making me shuffle my feet nervously. “I just needed to make him see that those,” I waved my hand towards the room behind him. “Are not going to get us where we need to be.”

Steve gave a quick nod. “Everyone’s in the lounge,” he told me, jerking his head towards our communal area upstairs.

We walked up the stairs together in silence. Steve kept glancing at me as we went. Eventually, I stopped and planted my hands on my hips.

“What?”

The Captain also stopped a few paces away and turned to face me, taking in my annoyed expression.

“It’s just, I never thought you would be such a good mediator,” Steve finally answered, his expression slightly confused.

I sighed and continued walking, brushing past him. “I grew up in a Politician’s house, remember. Bullshitting is a part of my makeup.”

“Did you call us cows, by the way?” Steve asked as I walked away from him.

My mouth quirked up in a small smile as I looked over my shoulder at him, “Maybe.”

Steve gave a wide grin and followed me towards the communal area. I walked into the lounge just as Steve caught up, the sound of arguing immediately putting my teeth on edge.

“A hundred and seventeen countries want to sign this. A hundred and seventeen, Sam, and you're just like, ‘No, that's cool. We got it.’”

“How long are you going to play both sides?”

I glanced between Rhodey and Sam who looked like they were about to come to blows. I opened my mouth to speak, but Vision interjected before I could get a word out.

“I have an equation.”

Steve took a seat at the end of the circle of couches, essentially putting himself at the head of the room. I sat on the couch next to Wanda, as I heard Sam mutter under his breath.

“Oh, this will clear it up.”

Vision looked up, making eye contact with each of us in turn. “In the eight years since Mr Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And during the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.”

“Are you saying it's our fault?” Steve questioned, his tone slightly defensive.

“I'm saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict… breeds catastrophe. Oversight… Oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand,” Vision answered his voice even graver than usual.

“Boom.” I heard Rhodey exclaim as I looked over towards Tony, who was being worryingly quiet, stretched out on a couch with one hand on his face.

Nat had also noticed Tony’s behaviour.

“Tony. You are being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal,” the redhead commented, head cocked to one side.

Steve looked up from reading the accords and glanced at Tony’s prone figure. “It’s because he’s already made up his mind.” Steves tone let everyone know what he thought of Tony's decision.

“Boy, you know me so well.” Tony quipped his sarcastic reply as he pulled himself off the couch, wincing as his hand went to rest on the back of his head. I frowned as I watched my best friend rub the base of his neck, the pain evident in his movement. Nat also eyeballed him carefully before meeting my gaze, raising one eyebrow in concern.

“Actually, I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache.” Tony walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a clean mug. I followed him with my eyes, knowing that Tony only had headaches when he was stressed and not sleeping.

“That's what's going on, Cap. It's just pain. It's discomfort. Who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?” Tony’s tone was meant to portray annoyance but all I heard was someone trying to control their own pain by lashing out at others.

Tony put down the coffee pot he was carrying and chucked his phone into the fruit basket at the end of the bench, acting like it was an afterthought as he tapped the screen, projecting an image of a young smiling man.

As the others turned their attention to the photo, I continued to scrutinise Tony. I did not like what I was seeing.

Tony glanced down at the bench he was leaning on and then looked up, pretending to notice the picture for the first time. I resisted the urge to grind my teeth. I always hated it when Tony put on theatrics. He used it as a cover for what he was actually feeling and thinking, and it drove me insane.

“Oh, that's Charles Spencer, by the way. He's a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul, before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charlie didn't want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where… Sokovia.”

You could hear a pin drop in the room as Tony angrily opened a bottle of pills. I glanced around at the others and saw pain, pity and regret.

“He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass.” I winced at Tony’s derogatory tone, watching as my best friend popped in a painkiller and chugged some coffee to chase it down. I was only just now realising what a mess he really was.

I glanced over towards Steve, watching as he glanced down at the book in his hands, clearly warring with himself.

“There's no decision-making process here.” Tony’s tone was definite as he came to stand before us, his arms crossed over his chest. “We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, if we're boundaryless, we're no better than the bad guys.”

“Tony, if someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up,” Steve told the agitated man, his voice even and sure.

“Who said we’re giving up?” Tony shot back, his eyebrows raising.

“We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame,” Steve answered, his face sincere.

I zoned out the voices as I glanced from one Superhero to the other, the tension growing in my stomach. Once again my mind was already racing ahead, predicting the outcomes from this dispute. And I didn’t like what I was coming up with.

Tony’s next remark broke through my thought process as it came very close to what I was already thinking. “If we don't do this now, it's gonna be done to us later. That's the fact. That won't be pretty.”

Wanda spoke up from her position next to me, her voice wavering a little and her accent thicker than normal. “You’re saying they’ll come for me.”

Vision immediately spoke up. “We would protect you.” He glanced at Wanda, the affection that only appeared around the witch, evident in his expression.

I gripped Wanda’s arm tightly, the thought of her being taken from the compound finally tipping me over the edge. I’d had enough.

“Right, you and you,” I interrupted whatever Nat had started saying, pointing an accusing finger at Tony and Steve. “With me now!”

My tone left no room for argument, as I stood and stormed out onto the balcony, holding the door open. Silently, without question, Tony and Steve followed, while the rest watched curiously.

I pettily used wind to slam the door shut behind the two men as I stalked over to the glass balustrade. I turned and crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at the two Superheroes before me.

“Right, you two need to stop right this minute,” I huffed angrily, glaring at them.

“But..” Both opened their mouths to speak, fingers pointing at the other accusingly.

“No buts,” I said firmly. “That team in there relies on both of you, BOTH OF YOU, to show them where they need to go. And if you’re fighting and squabbling like children it’s going to end the Avengers. Do you hear me?” I leant forward and stared into their eyes, making sure they saw that I was deadly serious.

Both men sighed and their shoulders sagged as they took in what I was saying.

“What do you suggest we do?” Tony asked, starting to pace the length of the balcony. “Mr Always-right and I aren’t going to see eye-to-eye on this.”

“Do you know what both of your problems are?” I asked rhetorically, spreading my hands out before me.

“Please, enlighten us,” Steve responded unnecessarily, one eyebrow quirked in amusement.

“You are both looking at this in Black and White and it's not that simple. You need to start looking at the grey areas.”

“I don’t like grey area’s,” Steve’s said warningly, telling me he thought I meant outside the law.

“No, not like that,” I explained to him exasperatingly, running a hand over my forehead. “I mean compromise.”

“Compromise?” They said in unison like it was the most foreign word they had ever heard.

“Yes, compromise,” I repeated, feeling like I was talking to a brick wall. Two, very good looking but completely thick and uncooperative, brick walls.

“Listen, we have made mistakes, okay, that's true. And yes maybe we do need some oversight like Vision said. But,” I held up a hand to stop Steve before he could argue. “But I don’t believe a panel and a book of rules are going to let the Avengers do the work they need to. So, compromise.”

I looked at both of them expectantly, leaning back against the rails and waiting for their suggestions.

Tony and Steve just looked at each other, their faces masks of uncertainty, neither one willing to give up on their ideals.

“Fine, do I have to do everything?” I muttered under my breath, standing up straight. “I would maybe suggest to the UN that, instead of a panel, they assign the Avengers a Liaison Agent, someone who can monitor what we do, in a non-invasive way, and can advise us of the UN’s suggestions when crisis’ come up. However, we maintain the last say on where we do and do not go. Does that make sense?”

I was now the one feeling a headache creeping up into my temples and I massaged them as I watched the boys consider my words.

“And what about ramifications, consequences for our actions?” Tony asked, his brow furrowed in thought.

I shrugged, not really having thought that part through. “I don’t know. I mean, something like what happened in Lagos was an accident. No one could have predicted it and I don’t believe Wanda should be punished for it!” I was staring at Tony the entire time I spoke, gauging his reaction.

“Tony, do you believe that what you started, that the Avengers as a team, make this world a safer place? Have we done that? Can we keep doing it? Or would you rather ‘put us in check’, as you worded it?” I stood right in front of him making sure he kept eye contact with me, my face sincere and open.

He stared down at me and I finally saw the hurt and pain that was eating him up inside.

“Oh, Tony,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck and hanging on tight. His arms twined around my back and he hid his face in my shoulder, his breathing uneven.

“We can’t save everyone, no matter how hard we try,” I whispered in his ear. “If we can’t find a way to live with that, next time we might not save anyone.” It was something that Steve had said to me several times and I knew that it was what Tony needed to hear.

Tony pulled back and I smoothed back his hair, resting my hands on his cheeks. He gave me a small smile. “Thank you, angel,” he said quietly.

“I’m here for you, always,” I replied, reaching up on my tippy-toes and kissing him on the cheek.

Tony turned towards Steve and extended a hand. “Compromise?”

Steve gave a genuine smile and grasped the offered hand. “Compromise.”

“Well, maybe one of the delinquents inside have an idea for consequences,” Tony said, looking through the glass at the rest of our team sitting, watching the whole thing unfold outside. He strode towards the door but I stopped him before he got too far.

“Hey, why were you so set on these Accords? And don’t tell me it was because you were feeling guilty, because I know that that's not all of it.”

Tony looked down at his feet, his hands fiddling with his glasses. He looked up and grimaced, knowing I wouldn’t stop until I had the truth.

“Pepper and I are…” he paused and then rushed forwards. “Are taking a break.”

“Oh, Tony, I’m so sorry.” I lay a hand on his forearm.

“A few years ago, I almost lost her, so I trashed all my suits. Then, we had to mop up HYDRA… and then Ultron. My fault. And then, and then, and then, I never stopped. Because the truth is I don't wanna stop. I don't wanna lose her. I thought maybe the Accords could split the difference…”

“You wanted to be put in check,” I finished for him. He nodded slowly, his eyes on the horizon above my head.

“Hey.” I caught his attention, making him look at me. “I’m here to keep you in check, okay. I won’t let you go crazy!”

He smiled at me wryly. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

He gave one more smile before opening the doors and disappearing inside. I sighed and turned towards Steve.

The Captain was leaning against the railing, looking at me over his shoulder.

I walked across the deck, resting my arms next to his on the railing, only an inch of space between us.

“Sooo,” I drew out the word, looking out onto the horizon deliberately avoiding his gaze.

He chuckled and looked at me sideways. “Compromise, huh?”

“Yep,” I answered, turning so I was facing him. My expression turned serious. “We have to Steve. Otherwise, the Avengers will be ripped apart and I can’t let that happen. You guys are the only family I have.”

Steve twisted so he was looking at me straight on. He smiled, his whole face lighting up. “You are amazing!”

I immediately blushed, looking down at my toes but despite my embarrassment, I heard myself say, “Yes I know!”

This startled a laugh out of the Superhero in front of me. I looked up and our eyes met. An undeniable feeling, one I had fought for a while, crept up from my stomach and lodged in my throat.

Slowly, I stood on my tippy-toes and pressed my lips to his. He stiffened, surprised at first but then relaxed into the kiss, his hands threading through my hair and holding my head tightly to kiss.

We broke the kiss but stayed centimetres apart, breathing heavily.

“So, that happened,” Steve said eventually, his mouth curled up into a soft smile.

“Finally,” I muttered. “It was about time. Do I need to do everything around here?”

Steve’s response was to press his lips back to mine, this kiss not at all slow or gentle. As I moaned at the fervour of his attack, I barely noticed the wind whipping around us or the threatening growls of thunder on the horizon.

“HEY!” A loud shout startled us apart and we looked over to the door leading inside. “Are you planning to level the building Y/N?” Nat asked calmly, pointing behind us.

A huge storm was forming on the horizon, wind howling and lightning clashing.

“Whoops,” I exclaimed, reaching inside me for my source of power and extending my hands out towards the wall of grey. Slowly the clouds melted away until the beautiful sunny spring day returned.

Steve looked over at me proudly, beaming ear to ear.

“That’s my girl!”

[misssophiachase]

For the klaroline song dabbles could you do Taylor Swift 'I Forgot That You Existed' I just picture them both getting over their past traumas just by being together

Thanks nonnie! Great idea. I love this song (and the rest of the album). Hope you like where it went, blame the fact I just watched Blue Crush again.

He’s chasing his wayward brother across the globe to take his mind off things and she’s trying to keep a low profile after a messy break-up until their paths unexpectedly cross.

I Forgot That You Existed

Oahu, HI 

I forgot that you existed

No, she really did forget. The only thing she did remember was when it happened. 

It was Sunday July 26th at 1:33pm. A stunning 93 degrees on the North Shore according to the weather report, the sound of waves from nearby Waimea Bay her backing soundtrack and a delicious serving of fish tacos courtesy of the guy seated across the table.

The guy that looked completely out of place in his designer threads at a food truck who seemed to be studying the meal in front of him carefully.

“It’s a taco, you eat it with your hands no cutlery necessary,” she instructed, picking it up and taking a sizeable bite. “See?” 

“And here I thought it was a projectile I could throw at my wayward younger brother,” he muttered sarcastically. “And I do know what a taco is Ms Forbes.”

“Well, I’m sure it wouldn’t be a first if you did throw it at him,” she offered, looking over to said brother who was attempting to charm a few local beachgoers and wolfing down his own tacos without caring much about spillage. 

Caroline wasn’t quite sure what to think about her current predicament, she’d woken early to surf then headed to Waimea for her usual lessons.

What she wasn’t expecting was a twenty-something, English tourist, albeit cute, dressed in a gaudy Hawaiian shirt. He’d called her darling about twenty times before she’d even taught him how to stand up beachside on his board. 

Once she eased him into the water (probably against her better judgment), he decided no more training was required and proceeded to anger neighboring surfers (either by heckling, cutting them off or trying to chat them up) and broken her board in half during a particularly bad break. 

It was only when they returned to the beach and happened upon another equally out of place observer. Unlike her Hawaiian shirt-wearing student, this guy was practically glowing in the sunlight. Dirty, blonde curls, crimson lips, and dimples which were so distracting Caroline didn’t even notice just how much his jeans, loafers and button-down shirt were screaming preppy chic in the completely wrong setting. 

He removed his aviators, those blue eyes taking their time to not only inspect her companion but her also. Caroline almost felt self-conscious the way those intense orbs were traveling the expanse of her bikini-clad body. She shivered inwardly annoyed that some cocky stranger had that effect.

“Who tipped you off this time, Niklaus?” Her troublemaker to the left whined. Obviously, they knew each other but in other news his name was Niklaus? Caroline wasn’t quite sure how to process this information.

“Lucy.”

“Seriously? The maid ratted me out?” 

“I think she was more disturbed by your request for Hawaiian shirts, Kol,” he murmured, his eyebrows rising briefly in judgment.

“I was trying to blend in so as to avoid detection.”

“As much as you like to think you’re stealth, well you’re not.”

“Is that according to the older brother or detective in you?”

“Both,” he shrugged. Caroline meanwhile was watching this whole scene unfold with great interest. She’d been teaching surfing for about six months now but never experienced anything like this. “You need to come home, Kol.”

“And what if I don’t want to?” He growled. “What if I’ve found the love of my life here in Hawaii.” Before she knew it, he’d placed his arm across her back and pulled Caroline closer.

“The love of your life? Well, then I’d really love to know the name of the amazing woman who’s tamed my little brother.”

“I’ve done no such thing,” Caroline blurted out, feeling completely lost. The fact this idiot broke her board was one thing but then he’d brought her into his story which wasn’t on. “He’s not my type at all.”

“Hey, I’m everyone’s type.”

“Wow,” Caroline whistled. “I really hope you don’t use that line when trying to pick up women.”

“Too late,” the cute looking guy murmured, a slight smile tugging at those crimson lips.

“You are such a wet blanket, Niklaus, always trying to ruin any semblance of fun. Don’t forget that if you hadn’t bloody well abdicated the throne I’d be able to travel the world without a babysitter and have fun with whomever I like,” he pouted, his brown eyes wandering back to Caroline.

Abdicated a throne? Were these two royalty or had she entered the twilight zone?

“Oh come on, buddy,” she huffed. “Still not in the slightest bit interested.” Caroline couldn’t miss the stray dimple his brother flashed in response. “I’m not here for whatever weird family drama this is, I have to go and source another board since his royal pain in the ass broke mine.”

“Now that is a catchy nickname,” Niklaus smirked. “But please let me buy you another, it’s the least I can do.”

“I’ll sort it out,” she mumbled, slightly overwhelmed under his gaze. “However, I am starving so if you want to buy a girl some lunch I might be able to forgive the debt.”

“Yes! Let’s get some lunch,” Kol agreed. “Great idea, darling.”

“I’ll promise I’ll make him sit at another table,” his brother promised. 

And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn't

“So, Niklaus, what’s that all about?”

“What’s that about? It’s my name last time I checked.”

“Well, Niklaus seems like someone who’ll show up to the beach fully clothed on a hot day, visibly annoyed even with the gorgeous scenery and look down unfavourably upon perfectly good tacos. But then there’s this whole other person that has flown across the globe to rescue his younger brother for whatever reason, not just from a hideous Hawaiian shirt, and even settle his debts with buying a girl some lunch.”

“Well, if I’m honest that person is actually named Klaus,” he smiled knowingly. “Unfortunately, my family is yet to fully accept him because they can’t seem to shorten my name like I’ve insisted upon for years.”

“We do it to annoy you,” Kol offered. Even from his place a few tables over he still had exceptional hearing to interrupt.

“Story of my life,” he shrugged. “And I’m not one to let false statements stand Ms Forbes, I happen to love tacos.” With that he picked it up and took a bite, Caroline trying to ignore just how good he looked doing it.    

“I’m pretty sure Klaus would call me Caroline; you know just saying.”

“So, what exactly are you doing here, Caroline?” He grinned as he said it and she was trying to focus given how good it sounded rolling off his tongue. “Well, besides having to put up with my brother?”

“I’m a surf instructor,” she murmured, feeling her answer was woefully inept given his response but not wanting to elaborate further. 

“That I got,” he nodded. “So, are you from these parts originally?”

“I think your charge has done a runner,” she gestured to the back of his Hawaiian shirt billowing in the breeze, glad to have a much needed distraction. 

“Bloody hell,” he growled. “I’m too old for this.”

“He’s headed towards the camping ground, I have a friend who works there and can keep him occupied,” Caroline explained, pulling out her phone and texting, deciding that Katherine would be the perfect choice. The perfect amount of luring him in with her feminine wiles and then scaring the hell out of him. 

“I really should go myself,” he said, standing up and stretching, Caroline not missing the brief flash of skin between his jeans and shirt. “But thank you for everything, Caroline.”

“You’re welcome,” she mumbled, wishing for some reason it didn’t end here. She’d spent the last six months not seeking attention but for some reason Klaus had made her crave it again.

Her phone beeped signalling a new text message from Katherine. It was a picture of a happily looking Kol surrounded by multiple bikini-clad campers. “Pretty sure he’s settling in for the night.” 

“As I understand it your brother is happily occupied,” she shared the picture noting Klaus’ disapproval followed by something resembling relief. “The camp site has a bonfire at sunset, you could collect him then.”

“Is that where you Americans decide crackers, marshmallow and chocolate make a good snack?”

“You are not dissing s’mores,” she objected. “You can’t judge until you try one.”

“But what do we do until then?” He asked, his lips curving into a smile. 

“We could surf?”

“Well, I’m not sure...”

“Afraid?”

“Oh you did not just do that,” he growled, he was pretending to be angry but she could sense his excitement. “And what am I supposed to wear?”

“I’ll help you out,” she offered, cocking her left eyebrow and trying not to imagine just how good his physique would look in much less clothing. “Just don’t break my spare board or I will sue.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he saluted teasingly. 

And it was so nice

What Caroline wasn’t expecting was for him to be so natural on a board and in the water, a far cry from his brother’s efforts. They laughed, mainly when he fell without notice and she refused to relinquish her board to save him. She told him tough love was much better if he had to fight off a killer wave or shark without assistance.

It was about 5pm, they’d been riding waves for a few hours their limbs sore and sunset was edging that bit closer. Klaus and Caroline lay on their respective boards in the water. The big waves had long disapated and it was now just a gentle nudge. 

“I’m jealous,” he murmured, his hands running through the water lazily. 

“Of what exactly?” 

“That this is your home, you get to watch this brilliant sunset every day.” Caroline knew that wasn’t altogether true and for some reason felt more relaxed than usual. 

“It’s not my home originally,” she admitted quietly. “I ran away a year ago from my past because my ex wasn’t the most loving or respectful of people. I guess I kind of feel like a fraud pretending I belong here.”

“If it helps, so do I most days. My parents are disappointed in my life choices and my girlfriend cheated on me because I wanted to be someone else with much less money.”

“So, they were all upset you abdicated the throne in Genovia?”

“Geography wasn’t my forte at school I’ll admit but pretty sure you just made up a country, love.”

“Obviously you’ve never seen The Princess Diaries,” she opined, not missing his confusion. “Please tell me Kol isn’t actually taking over a real country because I’m worried for its citizens wellbeing.” 

“Thankfully, no. My father owns British Airways which we do liken to another country,” he explained. “I never cared for the family business even with all the trappings. I’d worked hard at the police academy and wanted to work my way up through the ranks without family assistance.”

“And it didn’t go down so well?”

“My father practically disowned me and appointed Kol CEO-in-waiting which totally threw him over the edge into Hawaiian shirt land. I don’t regret my decision but feel so guilty that I’ve scared Kol into a role he’s not ready for yet.”

“Hence your unexpected appearance on my beach,” she uttered. “I’m pretty sure he appreciates your effort.”

“Because he’s been so happy to see me.”

“I think it just might take a little more time, let him just relax for a while,” she suggested. “How about we head over to the campsite and I show you just how good s’mores can be?”

“I’ll entertain your theory for my brother’s sake,” he shot back. “But I have to admit it’s extremely difficult to leave the water.”

“I know what you mean, it’s....” 

So peaceful and quiet

[web-of-fics]

Recovery

Requested by: anon (If youre comfortable writing that stuff, could you do a platonic tony x reader one where she is close friend of avengers and has a restrictive eating disorder and tony starts picking up signs about that and confronts her about it and comforts her and reassures he's gonna help her in her recovery? Thank you lots :)

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Starring: Tony Stark x she/her reader; fellow Avengers

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Fandom: MCU 

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Chronology: after The Avengers (2012) and Spider-Man Homecoming (2017)

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Warnings: reader displays symptoms indicative of restrictive food intake/food avoidance--please read at your personal discretion or stop reading if at any point you find that this narrative does not serve your mental wellbeing

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Summary: Reader pays her old friend Tony Stark a visit. He senses something is amiss and reaches out to her about it. 

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Writer’s note: Anon, I want to take a moment to thank you for submitting this request. You possess great courage for reaching out about something that can be a vulnerable topic and I hope I did it justice. :) 

    If there are elements of this prompt that resonate with you or anyone else reading this, please be kind to yourself during your personal recovery journey. Some are long and some are short, and some almost seem futile when they just keep going in circles, but no path ever goes in a straight line, and every step is progress.

    I also want to mention that I happen to be in a counseling program now, so I will do my best to write an accurate portrayal for this character. However, it is based on my knowledge rather than experience and I am still learning. I do not claim to be an expert on anything and welcome this as an opportunity for constructive criticism as well. 

    If anyone reading this is in need of professional help, I encourage you to seek it out. You deserve it. Although I cannot provide therapeutic help for anyone on here, I am willing to branch into writing mental health-related fics for those who are interested. <3

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Words: 1552

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“Y/n,” Tony said your name more like an announcement than a greeting as you entered the room. Moments before, he’d been addressing the rest of the Avengers about something or other related to impending doom. What else was new? You just hoped it it wasn’t more deep sea fish-looking alien spaceships causing mass destruction. Ever since that whole battle of New York you haven’t quite been the same.

You waved once in acknowledgment of everyone surrounding the expensive-looking lab equipment radiating a neon projection into thin air and made for the kitchen.

“Who is that?” said an unfamiliar voice belonging to an unfamiliar face as you passed by.

“Y/n,” Tony repeated before continuing his science talk.

“Is she an Avenger?”

“No,” Tony said mid-sentence.

“Then,” the person leaned forward from his seat on the couch, “what is she doing here?”

You opened the fridge and poured yourself a glass of the nearest open bottle, not bothering to see what it was. You swirled it mindlessly, watching the exchange like it was something mildly interesting on TV and you were too lazy to search for something more exciting.

Tony turned his full attention on the man.

“She’s a friend. She’s allowed in at her leisure. Open invitation.”

Tony’s mouth turned up in your direction as if laughing at a private joke between the two of you. He made eye contact briefly.

You brought the glass to your lips.

The new guy laughed in bemusement.

Tony took a step toward him. “What’s funny?”

“It took me years to be called an Avenger after we became friends but she can just... strut around our super secret complex whenever she likes?”

Soundlessly, you put the glass on the counter and draw your thick sweater tighter around yourself.

“Ah,” now Tony was smiling, but more in the sense of baring his teeth than enjoying himself. “I see your confusion.” He addressed the man directly. “We’re not friends. We,” he gestured between them, “are coworkers.”

He turned to a screen and waved his palm over it. “And I am giving a presentation. And you are listening to me with your mouth shut,” he enunciated every syllable by the end of his sentence, then shook off the interruption and continued lecturing about his discovery.

You turned away to hide a grin and strolled elsewhere in the complex to leave Tony to his business. You weren’t a fan of stopping in unexpectedly but it had been a particularly tough week. Tuesday had been your father’s birthday. Thursday had been your mother’s. 

Outside, you ran into Pepper, exchanged congratulations about their recent engagement, and offered to help prepare for the ceremony if she needed it. She shared that she was on her way to pick up lunch and offered to pick up yours as well. You declined, telling her just ate but you’d take her up on the offer another time, and is she sure she doesn’t need help ordering flower arrangements?

“I’ll let you know,” she said, smiling and waving as she summoned one of the many Stark cars and peeled away.

You shivered in the breeze despite the shining sun helping to warm the earth. Lately it seemed like you were always cold. 

You made for the library and decided to pass the time learning what you could from the first book you picked up. Unfortunately for any small talk you ever attempted to make with the Avengers, you were a professor of anthropology and not biochemistry or engineering. You flipped open the book in your hands and read the title page. Maybe learning the gist of quantum physics would help with that. 

You were on page 150 when the door opened.

“Knock knock,” Tony said.

You marked your page and stood.

“Tony!”

“Thanks for stopping in,” he said warmly.

“Anytime,” you replied. You grinned. “Open invitation.”

“Always. And,” he added, “you’re invited to stay for dinner.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Am I? Are you sure I’m not intruding on an Avengers-only occasion?”

“He doesn’t know anything,” Tony said, catching your meaning immediately. “He’s new, you’ll have to excuse him. But if he even looks at you during dinner I promise I will kick him out. This is a purely social gathering. No shop talk allowed. You’ll fit right in.”

He walked over, placed his fingers on the book and shifted it slightly in his direction. He nodded once.

“You should sit next to Romanoff. Come on,” he nodded in the direction of the door, “you can help me cook.”

“I don’t remember saying I was available,” you said, following him anyway.

“I know,” he said, “but I also know that you are, in fact, available. I had Pepper check your schedule.”

You cross from one building to another in silence. He holds the door open for you as you reenter the kitchen together and adds, “she also told me you ate lunch when I know for a fact you strolled in here, poured that,” he pointed to the glass of orange juice, still filled and gathering condensation where you left it on the countertop, “and went to read up on a topic you know nothing about for several hours.”

You laughed and picked up the glass. “I knew I forgot something! I sat down with that book and couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was. And hey,” you pointed at him accusingly, “I knew nothing about quantum physics until several hours ago. Now I do know something about it.”

He raised his palms. “I wasn’t questioning your intellect.” He looked pointedly at the glass in your hand. “Your new eating habits, however, are what struck me as odd.” 

You looked at him. “I didn’t realize making a sandwich and taking it to the library was considered odd around here.”

“Uh huh,” Tony said and opened the fridge. Every ingredient remained untouched.

You didn’t say anything. His look of concern now felt like the world’s most intense spotlight. You sipped the juice, deciding a few ounces wouldn’t do you any harm and the Vitamin C ultimately made the calories worthwhile. 

“So what’s on the menu for tonight anyway? I’m famished and so incredibly curious to learn what someone like Thor considers an acceptable meal.”

Tony shut the fridge and gazed steadily at you.

“Are you? Famished?”

“I—yeah, sure,” you said, uncertain what answer he wanted and growing less sure your eating habits could still slip under his radar. Not that anything ever avoids his notice. 

He started gathering ingredients and various pans from the cabinets.

“And not that I don’t appreciate the chance visit, but why drop in today? We haven’t talked in...”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Where were you when... that... all happened?” he asked.

You knew he was talking about the bizarre invasion that destroyed the city beyond anything you’d ever seen. Like many others, you lost your family that day. You still weren’t used to spending their birthdays mourning instead of celebrating. 

You shared your experience of that day with Tony as he cooked up a Mediterranean dish and disclosed his own trauma of that day to you. You were shocked to learn he was still recovering from the effects, and his concerns were only mounting. 

“New York will never be safe again, will it?” you said quietly.

“Hey,” Tony stopped stirring and held your face gently. “New York is protected as long as we’re around.”

He returned to stirring the sauce. “We can’t save everyone all the time, but helping even one person is always worthwhile.” He pointed the wooden spoon at you. 

“Today that person is you.”

You sniffed--pretending you were interested in smelling food instead of fighting back tears--and stuck your tongue out to lick the spoon. It was warm and savory. For once, your mouth didn’t feel like cotton and recoil at the taste of sustenance. Maybe you could stomach this tonight. And maybe another meal after that. 

Tony also tasted the spoon, nodded, and set it on the counter. 

“I think it’s time we assembled for dinner,” he said. 

- - - - - -

As dinner was served, you and Natasha excitedly caught up on recent developments in your lives--hers far more action-packed than yours--but she was just as genuinely interested in listening to you ramble about faculty drama and unruly students. 

The new guy introduced himself to you and attempted to crack jokes as often as possible throughout the evening. He grew on you.

Thor ate three platefuls of whatever Tony had concocted--you still weren’t positive what the vegetable-heavy dish was called, but in the grand scheme of things it didn’t really matter.

And you were able to eat several forkfuls of food without resistance. You shrugged your sweater off and hung it on the back of your chair, accepting a cocktail from Tony as he brought a tray of them back to the table, stealing glances at you all the while and smiling to himself. 

Although dining with the Avengers was only the first step back to engaging in your regular diet, you felt better knowing you didn’t have to walk that path alone as long as you had Tony Stark by your side. And you never knew him to be a man who abandons a friend in need. 

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Just one more before bed? Click here for a masterlist of my fics!

[nhlhoser]

On The Rocks - 26

Part 25  Masterlist

3816 WC

Swearing and emotions

Getting out of bed was easier yet still hard with my lack of energy and still sore body.

Deciding to yield Noahs instructions to get out of the room and try to get breakfast, I head to the bathroom to shower first and wash some of this sick off my skin and get a fresh start but also tame my horribly gross hair.

Gingerly I heave myself off the bed on shaky legs and sore muscles.

My legs don't give out on me but it's a damn near thing when my bare feet are shocked by the change from carpet to cold tile. My movements are stiff as I maneuver around the bathroom, arranging the towels to be easy to grab when I come out and one on the floor so I don't create a puddle.

Stepping into the shower the hot water is almost too hot but feels amazing on my skin and my tight muscles. Stretching my arms above my head a series of pops rattle down my spine and through my shoulders, releasing tension as the hot water works on melting the rest.

Working on my hair is rough with my lack of mobility but I eventually am able to free the knots from my gross hair with the products I recognize from the shower I had at Austons over the weekend. He must have snuck them in here before he accidentally woke me up.

Standing under the water for a couple moments longer, I don't want to get out yet because as much as I want to believe that I am relaxed right now, I know I am not as the weight of the water hitting my shoulders, chest, and face is heavier than it is in reality.

My ever-present anxiety is growing larger than it's been in a long time as I usually have a better handle on it but the energy I am executing just by being sick- makes it impossible to ignore the nagging pain in my chest that could only be explained by my anxiety and illness.

My energy level makes me just want to lay in bed for the rest of the forsee-able future and avoid life all together but I can' exactly do that right now being that : I am not even in my own country, I'm ill and have to leave my room for it to be cleaned but also I have to get on another plane in the next day or two too go home and maybe then I will be able to wallow in my own self-pity and get my emotion in order.

I have to get myself under control before I lose it again but HOW? I could call my brother or maybe my dad but that would stir even more stress and drama as my dad would hope on the next flight and throttle the entire Leafs management staff and probably anyone that may try and stop him.

Even then I don't usually involve anyone in my own problems I kinda just deal with them or accept that they are there but right now it's too prominent to ignore. Maybe, I should involve someone that is already aware of some of what is going on?

Noah? He'll probably think of the medical aspect rather than the emotional side and may not understand.

Any of the guys are just out of question because of playoffs and thats just a lot on their plate already plus they barely know me.

You've started to let Auston in already.......

A small voice whispers temptingly more aware than I am.

But he has hockey to worry about I reason with my own inner thought.

yes, but he there's already something he wants to say, we don't have to really say much. What he wants to talk about could ease us enough to get us back to Toronto. If not we have Ricky who we could rant to because he cares you know. We need to let someone in before we break.

Whatever part of my brain this is, it is really sad.

I'm your heart, you need to listen to me more.

Maybe.

Shutting off the water I stand in the tub a moment longer staring at my hands still holding onto the tap. Purple and yellow bruising from boxing the day before last and the scars from the years gone by resembling how my heart might look if ripped from my chest- something I'm scared someone might just actually do if I let them in.

Stepping out it's much easier to move and faster thankfully because the air is cold against my damp skin as I wrap a towel around my middle and twist my hair into another. Catching myself in the mirror I definitely look as sick as I feel, my complexion pale but my cheeks flushed slightly pink from the fever and my eyes slightly sunken with dark bags beneath them.

Sliding into a pair of my new leggings and Austons shirt, I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling again, my energy almost spent just from the shower. My mind still overworked by the panic attack earlier with Noah, the urge to scream wrapped around my neck like a cord again but this time producing fat tears and a gasp for breath that pulled on my sore diaphragm as more tears leak from eyes and down to my ears. (A/N: if you've ever cried well laying on your back this is a chilling experience)

The memory is nothing new but it hasn't been brought up in a long time and it still scares me just as much the first time when I thought it was just some nightmare my brain had conjured up due to trauma but when I told my dad about it he sorrowfully correct that even though I don't even to this day understand it completely it was something that did happen.

The memory is the last of my mother but also it was the last of a couple month period after my 16th birthday due to an injury that I have no memory or details of. With the help of the little family I had around me and a patient-therapist I was about to mend a life for myself

A swift knock on the door startles me from my trance and back into reality, still staring at the ceiling now dry-eyed.

"Who is it?" My voice sounded hoarse with the edge of being broken on the inside.

"Auston," came barely audible through the door. "Can I come in?" followed only this time a little bit louder..

"Do you still have a key?" I move to be sitting on the edge of the bed, my face in my faces as I work on wiping away the tears with my palms.

"Uhm..Yeah?" He sounded almost sheepish

"Come in," My voice still hoarse and ragged. My heart rate spikes as the sound of Auston unlocking the door registered in my brain that someone is going to see me like this.

In a last stitch effort for whatever composure I can must I run my hands through my damp hair, dragging the strands from my face with a deep breath as the door opens revealing Auston- a loaded shopping bag in hand.

"Gatorade and- you're up?" Auston's step stuttered a little bit as his eyes landed on my freshly showered hair instead of the mess he last saw.

"Up is a bit of an over-exaggeration," I mumbled laying back down in a huff, watching Auston continue into the room a small frown on his lips.

"How are you? Now?" Setting the bag on the floor Auston sits and lays on the bed parallel to me and turns his head to face me.

"Honestly?" My voice cracks under the emotion I've pent up as I turn my face to look him the eye, they're soft and full of concern.

"Fucking shit," a sarcastic laugh follows my brief confession with a small tear falling down my cheek before I could wipe it away Auston's rough thumb swipes it away for me and continues to my right cheek with his left hand tenderly.

The sheer tenderness of the moment and the level of vulnerability oozing from both of us causes a rough sob to wrack through my chest, my eyes squeezing closed in an attempt to hold back the floodgates a little bit longer.

This prompts something in Auston to move from just holding my face to wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest, holding me with a strong yet soft force. His hand starts to work through my hair slowly in a calming manner trying to soothe me, as a painful hiccup jars my extremely sore diaphragm.

Whimpering at the pain Auston pulls me in tighter and continues to run his hands through my hair and over the pulse on my neck to cradle my head his large hand as he pulls back to examine my face. Opening my eyes I am met with his searching eyes as they scan over my face, his eyebrows draw in creating a crease to form on his forehead.

"From being sick?" Auston's tone suggested that he knew that it might be more than just the flu I've been dealing with causing my meltdown.

"No," I sniffled.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not yet,"

"Okay. I'll wait," Auston pulled me in so my ear rested on his chest again.

The sound of his heartbeat lulling me back in peace and almost sleep if the fact I need to get out of the room for a bit popped back in my head and that Auston started to speak.

"I'm sorry for withdrawing before leaving.It's just the playoff's made me feel a new level of nervous that scared the absolute shit out of me. I needed to get my mind in order and that caused some casualties on the way," His voice vibrated through his chest as he laughs nervously. "You know who shined the light in my eyes?" he added.

"Mitch?"

"Well, he definitely was part of it but I was talking to mom after you left that night and I might have been ignoring her also and she was not having it and she tore me a couple news one but when she calmed down she asked me about you,"

"Me?" I pull up surprised that Ema Matthews even knew i existed. "why?"

"You made that dinner that I could heat up and have them over instead of going out - which totally shocked them- but anyways she knew it wasn't me that made the food and it couldn't have been ordered because it was made in the dishes she bought for me-"

"She also knows you can't cook for shit," I added interrupting him.

"Rude but I told her about how you had agreed to make me hot dinners and when she called to rip me a new and was civil again she asked what I had to eat and when I told her I just had dinner you made for me- she told me to thank you for her and I realized I didn't even thank you," The volume of Auston's voice drops through the story as he starts to sound awkward and sheepish.

"Then Mitch text me saying 'Fix it' with zero contexts but followed up with the information you just got home and were withdrawn," Auston kind of nervous laughing now,

"So, this is me fixing it. I really didn't mean to be a dick,"

"It's okay Auston but let's go down a get breakfast and hope Noah doesn't catch you in here and scold you because you might catch this," I reminded the boy with a fake sternness in my voice.

"You never told me to leave," Auston whispered in my hair sounding sleepy.

"I know," I signed relaxing into his arms even further as the sound of his heartbeat and soft breathing started to coax my eyes into closing. Breathing in the scent of detergent, cologne and generally, the smell didn't help either.

"Auston," I whispered earning a soft groan to rumble in his chest. "Let's goooo" I whined as I dragged my body off of his regretfully and standing in front of his legs still dangling off the bed. I press my knees to his and push with some force.

"Aus, Come one," I grab his wrists I tug and he finally opens his eyes and sits up staring up at me with a look in his eyes I can't place but it feels meaningful. Slowly he circles his arms around me again and presses the palm of his hands into my back pulling me into an embrace so his face is nestled against my collarbone and neck sort of.

My breath hitches slightly as a knot tyes in the back of my throat at the sudden rush of emotions from being held so tenderly. A small gasp escapes me as Auston's arms tighten as if he can sense the sudden rush of my emotions.

He probably heard the spike in my heart rate from where his ear is resting.

Returning the embrace my arms rest on his shoulders and my hands going into his hair as I held his head against me, resting my forehead on the top of his hair like he had done earlier.

Pulling his head back slightly my hands drifted to rest on the nape of his neck and slightly under his jaw as his eyes hold mine in what feels like a loaded moment to only have it interrupted by a knock on the door of my room.

"Who is it?" I instinctively put my hand over Auston's mouth even though he hasn't made a sound.

"It's Noah," My eyes widen slightly then glared into Austons "I didn't see downstairs and wanted to make sure you were alright,"

"I'm fine. I just got of the shower, I just need to get dressed and I'll be down," Implying that I'm naked got a rise out of Auston as his shoulders shook slightly and he raised a questioning brow at me.

"Oh-Okay see you down there then," Noah soundly sheepish as his footsteps could be heard walking away from the door and down the hall.

Pulling my hand away from Auston's grinning mouth he shakes his head at me with the same brow raised.

"You have to go down first because we can't show up at the same time," I said as I stepped back giving the still grinning Auston Room to stand to his full height.

"What?" I questioned when he just kept giving me that look as I grabbed my sweater and pulled it over Auston's long sleeve to stop the chill on my skin.

"He totally just thought of you naked," I pulled the rest of the hoodie over my head quickly as I stared at Auston wide-eyed.

"He did not," stuffing my keycard and phone in my pockets I grab a Gatorade and wait for Auston at the door. "Come on breakfast," I signaled Auston through the door.

"I'm a guy I know for a fact that he did," He commented passing into the hall before me with a smug smirk. "Because I know I would of," He stated just as smug.

"Go eat," I waved him off as my feverish face turns even redder. Auston walks away laughing, I close the door again and rest my heated face against the cool surface to get composure back.

"He's the worst," I groan into the door with mild bitch fit before I school my breathing and feature to calm and collect before re-opening the door and leaving the room stuffing the Gatorade in my hoodie pocket.

Walking into the slightly crowded restaurant despite the fact food service just started, the scent of food assaults my senses and instantly causes a split reaction in my stomach; Hunger and nausea. A shiver runs down my spine as I fight the urge to gag and end up coughing instead.

Shaking it off, I walk towards the food with a grimace as the smell gets stronger making me breathe through my mouth rather than my nose to stop the smell from connecting to my sore stomach. I view the different foods in awe and sadness as they all look so delicious but I can't stomach much or any of it yet.

Drifting passed all the warm yummy foods, I end up grabbing a banana, plain toast, and a mint tea.

The other food just too harsh for my recovering stomach and throat.

"Amelia," the ginger goalie appeared to my left quietly. "How are you? Auston practically describes that you were dead," Freddie gently threw an arm around my shoulders and rubbed my arm soothingly with a teasing smile on his face. Cleary seeing that I am not dead

"I feel like it thats for sure," The rasp in my voice visibly hits Freddie's ears as he winced and chirped that I sounded like it too, his arms still around me as he guilds me to the same table as yesterday where Auston is residing with plate a of half eaten food and a mug of what I'd guess to be coffee.

Settling in the same seat as yesterday, I arrange to face the boys with my back against the wall taking my Gatorade out of pocket and cracking the deal and taking a test sip of the sweet drink. My stomach doesn't react prompting another but still small sip, the cool fluid providing relief for my sore throat.

Setting the bottle on the table with a sigh both of the hockey players are staring with pitiful eyes and a grimace, Sticking my tongue out at them they look away with small smirks and continue to eat.

The banana goes down without resistance as does a little bit of tea but my stomach starts to have a fit when I go to pick up the toast. The smells stopped bothering my stomach so didn't try and push what little comfort I achieve as I sip my tea absorbed in whatever conversation is happening around me.

Couple more bodies had joined us with plates overflowing with nutrient foods and some chirps about me not being in as bad of a state as Auston had described to which Auston would defend if they'd been there and I saying that I sure as hell still felt like death.

My body was still remarkably sore especially my diaphragm that is putting a damper on my breathing because it hurts. My body shifts between hot and cold about six times in a minute that doesn't go unnoticed when my cheeks get really red then I start shivering.

Matt was watching me from the end of the table with worried eyes but I waved him off which brought the curious eyes of Mitch and Wiliam as my cheeks started to flare again then to cuddle into my layers.

The conversation was steady and light currently on the subject of Auston's ripped jeans and shoe collection being bigger than some of their girlfriends but Auston just rolls his eyes at them.

Resting the back of my head against the wall, my eyes start to droop with the need to sleep again and the comfortable feel of safety the guys surrounding me provide with their slightly intimidating size even Mitch.

"Noah hooked her up to banana bag and saline last night," Austons voice was soft as he whispered to the table. "She was puking all night," There was a deep layer of concern in his voice.

"Poor girl, Shouldn't she be in bed?" Matt's mature side coming out as he joined the whispering and some sounds of approval with i'd guess nodding along.

"Noah advised for her to get out of the room so the cleaning service could come through and for her to try to get some food or fluid," Auston's sparknote version of what I told him earlier. The conversation lulled as only typing on phone could be heard.

"It says here, Banana, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast are the most recommend things for someone with the flu to eat," Mitch recited smartly.

"I think she already knew that," William whispered.

"I did," I added not opening my eyes and getting comfortable in my little corner and preparing to actually sleep this time. "At least wait for me to actually fall asleep before you start talking about me, " A tired smile pulled lamely at the edges of my lips as I pull the hood up over my head and ended over my eyes.

I do actually end up falling asleep this time with my head resting against the wall, legs stretched out in front of me knocking someone's ankles, and the neck of the sweater pulled over my nose.

That lasted until Freddie tapped me on my shoulder saying they had to go get their act together for the morning skate. I sleepily nodded and followed behind the group of athletes with my Gatorade into the elevator.

If i could i would have tossed my body into the freshly made bed but I carefully crawled under the covers and cuddled up into dreamland for some more precious sleep.

Noah comes back around to check on me around 1 pm checking temperature, breath sounds, lymphoid and throat. My temperature was high but coming down and he only made a small face well inspecting my throat with his pen light.

"Well you're not worse which is good at least you're stable," He started packing up for the 3rd time today and was out with the same 'call me' stick.

I shed a layer of clothing by removing the hoodie and socks, a sign i was really tired because I never can sleep with socks. I grab a water and gatorade from the fridge and crawl back into bed with the tv remote trying to find something to make the room less dead.

Settling on a what looks like comedy by the appearance of Adam Sandler yelling at a kid - a good sign.

I fall back asleep quickly.

A weight on the side of my bed alerts me to the presence of someone. Instinctively I roll over giving said weight room to lay down instead of being sprawled in the middle.

"What time is it?" I mumbled being roused awake.

"1:30 pm," Came the deep voice I expect.

"Isn't it time for your pre-game name?" I rolled over to face him.

"What do you think I'm doing," with that the covers lift and he settles in.

"Hmm," I barely hum snuggling into the pillows and blankets.

Strong arms circle around my waist and Auston snuggle me with a sigh.

NEXT