#if u dont i hope you are having a great day anyways!!!!

[quarterprioritymidnight]

happy 3rd birthday to the hottest thing bastille has ever done anyone but me x nightmares (24.08.2020)

[mouseship]

merry christmas to evry1 who celebrates. I am putting mistletoe over all of you and your f/os right now

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

[shinakazami1]

New Tales Ep 4 live review!!

- Before the intro sequence, I thought Anu didn't know Octavio friends? I don't know the timeframe in all this so it does feel a tad bit weird though, in this run I had killed Juniper so...

- Dear God Octavio not noticing it's Fran's Frogurt is so stupid 😭😭 literally no words. Till this exact moment, I could excuse a lot of the writing... Please.... He's not this dumb, right,,,, ouu,,

- "SAY UNCLE" "You're my sister and I'm your uncle" - I want to know the story behind this sm

- Fergus looking saved it with L0U13 free labour dance but.... Why did we even have the the mental worry, and then the stupid hitting Fergus butt,,, I know the games have this humour but this whole bit felt like not so well timed break

- This game cannot get where it is standing with the killing hmmmm, like no character in this run had a constant (though idk why L0u13, after his crisis, gets once again pro killing,, gonna try replaying better version)

- BROCK BACK AND HE JUST STRAIGTH UP SHOT ANU-PLEASE OFAIHFAS

- GUYS U HAVE THE GUN THAT HEALS 😭😭😭I know they wanted to make this joke but PLEASE

- I feel weird about FRAN being seen as newbie in business. Sure, she only knew one but she kept it going for a long time so I feel she knows a tad bit more seeing it's a fam business for years. Esp after that Susan talk in ep 1. She feels she should know sth more

- Bivington showing up,,, I did expect him to but I wonder. I can tell this is some setup but I wonder what type (future me I say hi) (hi past shina - dear god not one i expected, diluted elon musk oifashfiaos)

- can I propose an overpriced drink AS SIGN OF SUCCESS IS KILLING ME

- it's weird that any didn't realise she could use the lab for their project cud they need

- Anu from being a Newby to being a big fan of Maya Vaultfinder mega ultra player,,, I'm so proud

- JABBER PUBLIC PEEING AND SOOTHING MUSIC PLEASE WHAT WAS THAT WHY DID I STUMP UPON

- Anu being seen as genius and then most the work is just,,,, the goggles,,, the slapping,,,,, it's all so silly

- I was curious what would be Fran's wish and the synth sad music in there reminded me of Hyer Light drifter soundtrack. But Rita,,,

- BADASS SUPERFAN IS MY FAV character beside Rhys and all Tediore soldiers wjjwh

- Foopy PLEASE??? FOOP POOP??? The only thing broken is you HELLO - WHY WE GOT BOTH PISS AND POOP THIS EPISODE

- I wonder if Fran's focus on sexuality is a trauma response, too,, future shina here, but based on what you can tell LOUI3 I think that is the case

- 😭 Why did so many people know and could reference before Fran's traumatic experience tho??? Like it puts her so down and others just know it

-VVIP IS MORE LIKE WIP WORK WORK WORK and i got Octavio to sniff the substance cus I imagine he would try it sjshhehe

- VVVIP,,, WHAT'S NEXT A VVVVIP CUS I HOPE TO SEE SOME WWIPS,,, Also I made Octavio dance

- BADASS BEING FIRED NOOO I hope I will see him in fifth episode :0

- Susan having a gun. You go girl boss actually

- HELLO UNPROTECTED DATA STDs??? dear GOD I EXPECTED THIS AND YET I AM STILL BAFFLED

- THE FACT THERE IS A TRANSLATOR FOR YALL TALK

- I get why people like Susan, I love the translator bit, the bitchy high atittude, she gets it

- BRO THE FACT KATAGAWA SR IS NEXT TO RHYS IS LIKE 'haha remember how my son wanted to kill you well now another person does'

- "dangerous, yes?" girl it's a glowing rock

- I took around 20 screenshots of Rhys alone 😭😭😭I'm down BAD

- I wish got control of Octavio if he would say Susan is the boss... I feel it's a wasted potential

[earlyspringtranscendence]

btw i think one of the most impt hobbies in the world is having a mostly non-existent, mostly self indulgent crush on a professor/lecturer just to zone out to their classes to and focus instead on their hair and their hands and their dark circles speaking NAWT from experience. maybe a little bit.

[irndad]

hii dollface, would u write smtg abt hotch being jealous?

like he's trying to hide it from making the team notices when he saw some officer flirting with r?

no pressure in writing, lovey. change it however u want or ignore it if u dont feel like writing it (i completely understands u 🤍)

my love this has lived in my brain so relentlessly <3 i hope you love it!!!! thank you for requesting!! wc: 1.7k

It is incredibly easy to like her.

She’s charismatic in a way that’s almost universally appealing, and he’s memorized the shape of her wide grin. She smiles with her whole face, and Aaron hasn’t really spent too much time trying to make people smile. He’s had success in some ways, but when she smiles at him there’s something in his chest that burns in achingly lovely way. 

At first, he had assumed her kindness was a way to win him over. In her first week, she had noticed there was a rip in his tie (which he’s not sure how could even happen) and she’d whipped out a pocket sewing kit, repairing it. 

He tries not to think about the fact that she’s beautiful. She is, though, in spirit and in appearance. He’s an expert in controlled presentation, but to some extent she must know that’s he’s fond of her. 

When they’d first met (which he can still picture in his minds’ eye- her oversized sweater tucked into her tailored pants, the purple lipstick adorning her beautiful smile) he’d tried to keep his distance. It’s easy to romanticize her, and being her friend felt a little impossible when seeing her as more felt so inevitable.

This plan did not go well, and Aaron had officially tossed it when one day, the babysitter for Jack fell through when he was halfway around the world. She’d picked him up from school and tended to him, and Aaron had come home to a blanket fort on his kitchen floor, and a happy little boy who wanted her to come over every day. 

So it's a little hard to ignore how much he adores her. 

She doesn’t normally want to come out to the scene and they usually don’t require it, but they’re going out to a place she spent most of her twenties, and she knew people in the local PD, so Aaron had asked her to come. 

She’d done so without complaint, although he knows she doesn’t sleep well on the jet. No one knows where the nicer pillows and blankets came from, and Aaron would prefer it that way. 

Anyway. 

The bullpen of this department is chaotic and a certain caretaking is living at the edge of Aaron’s consciousness, a protective desire to keep her from the loudness and violence that she’s typically protected from. 

He’s still thinking this, when he hears her voice over the chaotic hum of the department. 

“Oh my god, Logan!”

Her voice is joyful, and when Aaron turns to see who she’s looking at, it’s an agent. He can tell that he’s not a police officer for many reasons- the fact that he’s got a long, shaggy haircut and a 5 o clock shadow and a leather jacket on his shoulders. The local police would be too strict, and he must be some kind of different authority to be allowed to be here.

He hears the stranger call her name back, and they hug. 

It’s a quick thing, but imbued with deep fondness. Aaron’s not sure he’s ever hugged her for more than a second- just a congratulations when his commendation came in. She’d smelled like roses. 

Now, she’s hugging Logan. 

“Hotch,” she says, a smile still in her voice, “This is Logan! We went to graduate school together. He’s brilliant, I can’t believe he’s down here.”

Her voice is seeped in admiration, and Aaron feels an ugly amount of what can only be described as jealousy. 

“Great to meet you. You’re the unit chief, yeah?”

“SSA Aaron Hotchner,” he offers the man a curt nod, “Have you met the team?”

He goes through the motions of introducing him to the team- he greets Reid with a warm smile and tells him that he’s read his papers. Logan compliments Emily’s shirt, and Morgan’s watch. 

He’s incredibly charismatic.

Is Aaron charismatic? He doesn’t think so. His team, who probably adore him as much as anyone could, still note that he can be harsh, prickly. He never smiles, he knows. He lacks expressiveness. Logan is all fluid movement and easy conversation, and when he takes the jacket off, Aaron sees a great deal of tattoos on his forearm, his sweater sleeves slid up. 

He’d smile for her. 

What should be a good thing, but hurts- Logan is an excellent consultant profiler. He’s thoughtful and helpful and she has an easy rapport with him. Aaron- he’s so bad at talking to women. 

She makes Aaron feel like he’s good at it though. When they drive together, the conversation is easy and feels nice. It’s like sunbathing, basking in the light of her attention and intention. 

With the help of the man that Aaron has decided he hates, the case is finished up quickly. 

He can’t shake the thought they’ve probably dated. It’s not his business- this crush, although this word feels inadequate for the intensity of the way she makes him feel. It’s a private thing he’s never going to act on- he’s older and her superior, and besides- 9 stab wounds and a lifetime worth of issues is a million times less appealing than someone like Logan. Young, exuberant probably not too afraid to ask for what he wants.

“Drink tonight?” Logan asks the team, and a chorus of yes’s and please’s echo through the emptying bullpen. 

“Raincheck,” she says to Logan, “I’ll see you next time I’m in town, yeah?” She beams at him, hugging him in a quick-but-too-long-for-Aaron’s-taste motion, and the string in Aaron’s chest that feels like it’s been pulled all week threatens to pull him under.

After everyone files out, she offers to help him fill out paperwork in his office. It’s just like her, so kind and sweet. Spending her free time filling out reports to make his workload go easier.

About a half hour of amenable silence passes, before Aaron chooses to speak.

“So, you and Logan.”

“He’s great, right?”

Regrettably, Aaron agrees.

“He seems very kind.”

“Yeah, he and his fiancee are really fun. They travel all over, kite-board and do tons of adventure stuff, he’s pretty awesome.”

A moment passes.

It’s like a balloon losing air, the feeling of relief taking the place of panic.

“I thought you two were romantically involved.” He doesn’t know how to verbalize things casually. If he lets it up, he might do something dangerous like tell her that he wants to be someone who romances her, wants to be the person who kisses her after dates and holds an umbrella over her head when she’s caught in the rain. He wants to be what she comes homes to, and it’s a confession living in the back of his throat, threatening to escape at every moment. 

She sucks in a harsh breath, and he wonders if it’s a misstep to have told her- it’s not a confession, really. It sounds like one though- why would he care? What makes it his business?

“Not that that’s relevant to me,” he stammers, “You’re free to engage with whoever you’d like-“

“I know, Hotch.” She doesn’t grace him with his first name, but her voice is fond and warm, her doe eyes meeting his. He likes it, he decides. 

“I’m not seeing him,” she continues, her body shifting to face him, “I think he’s a little…casual for me.”

He thinks of Logan’s leather jacket and unshaven face, rugged appearance and compares it to how he presents himself- clean cut and sharp lines, his suits tailed to fit him like a glove. 

“You prefer something a little more…dignified?” He hears himself say with more confidence then he feels- her implication is clear, but he wonders if he’s mishearing it. 

She tips her head back and he hears her lovely laugh ring through the air like something sacred, and he waits to hear her response. 

“I don’t know, I just know that I’ve been liking this guy for a while,” she muses, looking down at her fingernails, “But he hasn’t seemed to pick up on any of my hints.”

On one of his braver days, he’d told her that he liked that purple lipstick. He hasn’t seen her without it since. She’d always been so kind to everyone that it was hard to notice when her treatment towards him was special, but he thinks it might be. How quick she offers to help with Jack- gives away a Saturday evening to spend with him, even though she sees too much of his face at work.

Her friend from grad school offered to get drinks, and she’s here, telling him what she looks for in a guy.

He tries to be logical about the whole thing, but it’s a bit hard- she’s funny and warm and Aaron loves being around her- loves her company enough to maybe ask for more of it. 

“If this ‘guy’ did like you,” he murmurs, intentionally not meeting her gaze, the precision of which is boring a hole into the side of his head, “How would he go about that?”

He’s not sure what the point of being coy is now, but he can’t seem to stop. He does look down to her and meet her eyes. 

“I think I’d probably corner him,” she says breathlessly. They’re quite close together, now. He wonders if she likes his aftershave. She tugs a hundred through her hair, a nervous but incredibly attractive gesture, “Y’know, if everyone we worked with went to get drinks, and it was just us. If he was amenable to that.”

“If he was amenable to that.”

A rush of emotion licks up his spine- it’s fun, flirting with her. The creep of warmth on her cheek, how her fingers are brushing hers. 

“I think he might be.”

Purple lipstick, rose perfume mixing with the scent of expensive aftershave- he thinks he might be able to kiss her, now. He’s never been good at knowing when to take the jump, but this is something he can do. He can let her know that he wants it. 

She reads him well enough, it turns out, and she kisses him. It’s a surprise and he is so rusty at this and yet- his hand stand on the small of her back, pulling her in and he can feel her lovely smile against him. She’s warm and joyful and she’d kissed him, and all he could do was lean in-

“I think he might be too.” She says, significantly less color on her lips, and more on his, he imagines.

She doesn’t have to wonder, though. When Aaron kisses her again, he decides- he will make her incredibly certain of his affections. 

[23starii]

Pleasant Surprise - tendo x reader

Summary: He's used to girls trying to get through him to get to Ushiwaka. He knows no girl actually wants to be with him or get to know him. None of the gifts he receives are ever actually for him. Until you approach him one day after practice.

Warnings/notes: insecurity, speculation, rudeness, but, tbh not that much, short reader (shorter than Tendo). Chat I literally wrote all of day two and left to find a divider AND TURNS OUT EVERYTHING DELETED SO I HAD TO REWRITE THE WHOLE THING 😆😆😆😆😆

Day one

Practice was finally over.

Tendo loved it. It was another good day for him and the team.

What he didn't quite loves was-

"E-excuse me?" A tiny feminine voice to his left.

"Can I help you?" He answered, almost rudely. He knew what was to come, especially with the way you held the small, neatly wrapped gift box in between your hands.

"I'm really sorry to bother you, Tendo.." You began, shyly looking up at the taller male.

Tendo almost rolled his eyes. He wanted to just tell you to go away. He couldn't take it anymore. He just wanted to go home, but here you were, a cute girl saying his name with the sweetest voice trying to use him to get to his buddy.

It would be nice not to be looked over for once. Not only was it annoying to have to go through this nearly every day but painful, too. You were so cute and pretty. He recalled seeing you around and watching their practice several times.

"I made this for you. I was wondering if you'd accept it?" The girl brought her arms up higher, showing off the tiny box to the volleyball player.

"Listen-" Tendo almost answered in his usual way, telling girls to just go away because Ushiwaka didn't want their gifts anyway but then he realized what you said.

A gift for him? This was new. You wanted to earn his trust and get close to him just so he could introduce you to Ushiwaka. Didn't you?

Figures.

"U-um, you don't have to.. if you don't want to." You spoke up after Tendo was quiet for some time, thinking.

"Is it for me?" He wondered.

"Yes! It's for you! I made this just for you, Tendo."

Before he could say anything, you decided to keep speaking your mind, making sure he understood the extent of your purpose for being in front of him today.

"I've been coming to watch you practice for some time now.. you're amazing. You're so tall and a great blocker! I can tell you enjoy playing the game very much.. you always have a smile on your face when you play. And I enjoy watching you..very much as well."

Tendo was stunned, to say the least. You spoke without even looking at him. What you said didn't sound rehearsed or bogusly put together.

He wasn't sure what to say or do. He didn't know if he was convinced either.

"I took the time to learn that you really like chocolate too.. so that's why I made it for you. It took me a while to get the recipe right, but I did it just for you.. so I would really appreciate it if you could accept my hard work." You stared at the floor, face flushed and embarrassed, arms stretched out. You couldn't believe you poured nearly your whole heart out to him when he hadn't even said more than one word to you.

"Um.. okay. Thank you very much. I'll make sure to have these later." Tendo took the small box from your pretty hands. He had never been in a situation like this before - he hoped his answer wasn't too blunt or that he made you feel dumb for being here.

"Please! Let me know if you like them! Or if you dont.. I'd be very happy to make more for you!" You bowed quickly before speeding off in the opposite direction, cheeks burning.

You really hopped you hadn't said too much.

Tendo watched you walk away, cocking his head slightly to the his right, puzzled.

Could it be that you really did make it for him because you wanted to give it to him?

Could it be true that you really had been watching him and not Ushiwaka?

"Damn. That girl was really nervous." He hears Semi from his left speak.

"Aw man! You're so lucky, Tendo! She was cute.." Goshiki gushes from his right.

"Yeah, she was.."

Day two

The next day, Tendo walked the halls with the knowledge that somewhere in the same building, there was a girl who made the best chocolates he's ever had.

He hardly thought of anything else since he popped one of the treats into his mouth the night prior. He couldn't believe something so delicious could be made. And just for him nonetheless.

He hoped your words were truthful. He hoped he would see you again that afternoon so he could thank you.

Tendo made his way toward the gym, where he would be partaking in the usual practice routine.

When he arrived and was fully changed into his gym clothes, he made sure to warm up with his teammates.

He stretched and received a few balls, making sure to keep an eye out for you.

The redhead made sure to glance over at the students' section every so often.

Tendo was quite disillusioned to find you nowhere to be seen.

An hour into practice, he figured you just weren't coming. He had been tricked, hadn't he.

Oh well.

There's no way a girl like you would seriously be into him.

He decided to go on as if nothing had happened, as per usual. He continued giving it his all during practice as was expected from him.

.

.

.

Tendo exited the changing room, having his regular school uniform on now. He could hear his younger teammates messing about in the room behind him while he bent down low, grabbing his shows and placing them in front of himself.

"Tendo." He hears the firm, stoic voice of his best buddy call out.

"Hey! Wakaaa!" The lankier boy teased with the nickname, looking off in Ushijima's direction whilst putting his left shoe on.

"There was a girl looking for you." The barely taller male spoke.

"A girl?" Tendo repeated, moving on to his right shoe.

"I thought she was gonna ask me for my autograph. Instead, she asked me about you." Ushiwaka informed, with his usual straight face.

Tendo straightened up his body, finishing up with his shoes he turned his full attention to his friend.

"Where is she?" The redhead asked, picturing your shaky figure holding out the gift he enjoyed so much.

Ushiwaka shrugged.

"She was outside the gym, last time I saw her."

Tendo thanked his friend and quickly made his way back to the gym, hoping he hadn't missed you.

He was relieved to find you curiously standing about right outside the gym.

"Excuse me?" He spoke, stepping to you.

You quickly turn around to meet the boy, your hair whipping the air from the speed.

"Tendo!" You spoke, surprised.

"I'm shocked, I didn't think I'd see you again or have the chance to thank you for those chocolates." Tendo teased, reffering to your absence earlier.

He watched your face twist into guilt.

"I am only able to see you when my club activities end early. I'm so sorry! Did you like the gift then..?" You ramble, apologetically, your cheeks flushing.

Tendo suddenly found it increasingly difficult to hide how flattered he is by your presence.

You took the time to come see him after your own club activities and even asked Ushiwaka about him. And the way you messed with your uniform nervously as you spoke was adorable in his eyes.

"Like it? I loved it!! I've never had anything so good before." His face warmed up.

"Really?? It was a family recipe.. I barely learned it, so I'm glad you enjoyed them!" You gave another sweet smile, almost as sweet as the treats the boy had last night.

"You'll have to teach me that recipe some time, cause seriously, I've never had anything like that before!" He gushed, hoping he didn't sound too enthusiastic.

You blush at his compliments.

"So.. do you enjoy making sweets too, Tendo?" You wonder, hoping the two of you might find something in common, it would be beneficial to keep the conversation going which you hoped would happen.

"Actually, I've never baked or anything like that. But, if it's possible to make something that good, I'd like to learn it."

You were happy that he took such interest in you. You honestly hadn't expected it. You were just some girl after all. It warmed your heart and the tips of your ears.

"By the way, you were looking for me? Ushiwaka told me."

Again, your cheeks flushed and you stiffened up.

"Well, I wanted to see you! I am a fan of yours, you know!" You laughed awkwardly admitting you truly did just want to see him.

Tendo's cheeks warmed further equal to yours now.

You wanted to see him? His fan? A pretty girl?

Could words be ever more flattering? Could you make him any more embarrassed? He seriously couldn't believe it.

You really called yourself his fan.

"Oh, wow. I didn't know I had such a beautiful fan." He sputtered, relieved that he hadn't stuttered. He almost missed your expression after those words.

Your face dropped, and he could see the visible pink hue that coated your pretty cheeks.

"I-Well, you know, I mean.. you're awesome and like also super! And beautiful.. too.." Your eyes widened from your own words. How could one stumble over themselves so damn much?

You internally beat the shit out of yourself. There's no way you didn't totally just blow it.

You almost missed how his eyes widened, too, and he blushed. Tendo looked as if you could eat him right up right then and there.

"Jeez.. you really came here just to flatter me." Tendo couldn't ignore the fact that no one had ever called him beautiful before. You were the first. And damn, it was a really nice feeling.

He couldn't believe it. This had to be a dream.

You couldn't really reply after how badly you stuttered you were surely traumatized from the embarrassment.

"So, how about that recipe?"

The boy eased your nerves by not turning away or insinuating that he disliked you. He wouldn't anyway. No way in a million years would he walk away.

You smiled, taking a deep breath to calm yourself before continuing the conversation.

You gave him a social media account of your choosing so he could contact you.

Tendo asked about your club, and the two of you spoke of your many interests. He even walked with you to your bus stop.

You found that the two of you didn't have much in common, but his interest in your hobby of baking and making sweets just might change that.

It might even create a duo of married chocolatiers.

✧˖*°࿐

[sofs16]

sleepy 16

writer x charles leclerc

sleepygirl

liked by 3,345,383 others sleepygirl Coffee is for the wise.

view all 324,564 comments

user72 yes but you know what’s wiser? GIVING US THE BOOK 😭😭😭😭😭😭

⤷landonorris agreed. no rush. but 😆

oliviarodrigo caption real!

gracieabrams stunner 🥹

june 1, 2023

sleepygirl

liked by kenzie, oliviarodrigo, charles_leclerc, and 5,696,494 others sleepygirl I actually had the book ready 2 weeks ago but anyways…

I’m trying something new and publishing my book “the sun and her flowers” with little poems I’ve created over the last 3 years on July 10. With a great timespan, it has lots and lots of emotions. I hope you enjoy it and you can pre-order now!🤍

view all 927,484 comments

thisispattismith This is too exciting! ⤷ sleepygirl i adore you

user72 YOURE WELCOME GUYS.

⤷ sleepygirl Yeah. Thank user72 because of their comment 😭

user2 okay but anyone see charles leclerc in the likes… what in the multiverse lewishamilton no text update?

lewishamilton 🧍🏾

⤷ sleepygirl Sorry, Lew. I only told one person about it, aside from my team. 🤭

⤷ lewishamilton i wonder who

⤷ landonorris Unfortunately, it wasn’t me.

⤷ sleepygirl “Skill issue”

⤷ user2 😨 july 3, 2023

sleepygirl

liked by charles_leclerc, and 2,697,707 others

sleepygirl ps. I’ll be having a little booksigning and early book access tomorrow at Waterstone UK just near Silverstone. Exact location coordinates are on my story and bio, see you there!🤎

view all 473,575 comments

user1 NEAR SILVERSTONE? WHAT? ssleepsgirl so excited to see you 🥹 ⤷ sleepygirl 🤍

landonorris See ya, mate! ⤷ sleepygirl I already have your copy saved.🏎️

⤷landonorris L lewishamilton

⤷ lewishamilton 🧍🏾

⤷ sleepygirl Did you just L Sir Lewis Hamilton….

july 3, 2033

liked by sleepygirl, and 3,363,363 others

charles_leclerc Releasing a very special video about a very special week for me tomorrow. Can't wait for you to see what it's like for me to be racing at home. Video will be live tomorrow at 5pm CET on my YouTube channel 😘

view all 827,384 comments

ssscud16 IS THAT SLEEPYGIRL IN THE LAST PIC.

⤷ f1mclerr so silly how we dont know her name and just call her sleepygirl 😭

user37 what the fuck is happening this week

july 5, 2023

sleepgirlfan1

liked by 3,373 others

sleepgirlfan1 FUCK???? WHAT

view all 265 comments

sleepygirl 💜💜💜

⤷ sleepgirlfan1 WHAT. ⤷ fffgirl MS MAAM. july 6, 2023

charleslsll

liked by 5,474 others charleslsll sleepygirl WE KNOW ITS U BBG. view all 744 comments

user1 WHERE IS THIS

⤷ ch16up charles’ new vlog:)

july 6, 2033

sleepygirl just posted on instagram stories !! caption: 😴 | Snooze by SZA playing

slpgirlupdates

liked by 5,383 others

slpgirlupdates sleepygirl at the silverstone gp with friends 🥹 view all 473 comments

july 6, 2033

thetonyabrewer

liked by 933,844 others

thetonyabrewer sleepygirl for the F1 Quali at Silverstone 🤎

view all 32,484 comments

user73 why did she eat more than anyone else at a gp😭

july 8, 2023

sleepygirl

liked by charles_leclerc, and 11,585,393 others

sleepygirl Hi! My name is Yn and I am irrevocably in love with this guy named Charles Leclerc ❤️

view all 3,383,292 comments

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️❤️

sleepylovve CALLED IT

useriee oh to be loved by a writer 🥹

july 9, 2023

charles_leclerc

liked by sleepygirl, and 8,696,383 others

charles_leclerc Happiest birthday, Amour! I know one day our house will be eaten by books but as long as I am with you, it is alright. I love you more than the alphabet can explain and can not wait for a lifetime with you. view all 3,585,585 comments

sleepygirl The book hallway at home 😭 sorry… I love you so much!! ❤️❤️❤️

pascale_leclerc Joyeux anniversaire sleepygirl ❤️🎉

⤷ sleepygirl merci maman 🥹❤️‍🩹

user16 sleepygirl speaks french?!?! ⤷ sleepygirl only learned the basics for maman 😝

[liked by pascale_leclerc, charles_leclerc, and 149,383 others]

⤷ charles_leclerc “maman” 😞

⤷ sleepygirl AND YOUUU!!!! STOPP

⤷ charles_leclerc Silly girl, love you

⤷ sleepygirl I love you too❤️

⤷pierregasly Blegh

⤷ landonorris PARENTS

july 16, 2023

[naomi-nana]

hi ! how does suo, sakura and kaji (of u write him) when they annoy the hell out of the reader (playfully) and the reader doesn’t want to talk to him anymore how do they comfort the sulking reader?? thank u! i hope you dont die

apology (un)accepted! . wind breaker

where wbk men annoys the hell out of you and you sulk. how do they convince you to forgive them?

featuring : suou hayato, sakura haruka, kaji ren.

cw : fluff fluff fluff, sakura and kaji not being able to apologize, kisses in suou(i just like him ok)

a/n : OHMYGOD ITS ALMOST THE END OF THE YEAR—and i just wrote this?!?! this request has been sitting in my inbox for MONTHS... anon u might as well be dusty rn😕😕🙏 also that last part... r u threatening me😱😱

KAJI REN :

seriously? you're upset over that? he knows you're a little sensitive sometimes, but he didn't expect you to be this sensitive. he just put your water bottle on top of the fridge and laughs at you because you couldn't reach it, and now you're mad at him because of it. he's been 'trying' to apologize, but you would just ignore him.

well, of course, since his apology attempt is just him trying to make small talk with you. he's not good with it, okay? he's been trying to get you to talk just atleast a little, offering you one of his candies, sitting besides you, and even took off his headphone to put besides you and act as if he had lost it so you could give it back to him. he was sure you both would talk like normal again after that, but he was oh so wrong.

you were still upset.

after many unsuccessful 'apology' attempts, he pulled out his phone from his pocket and text his friend, kusumi, to ask for advice. he knows that kusumi probably has never been in a relationship before, but he's great at communicating with people. so he could probably help him, that's what kaji thought. after texting him, kusumi told kaji to "just apologize directly and everything will be okay:)".

well, that doesn't help. after reading kusumi's text for what felt like an hour, he finally mustered up the courage to approach you on the sofa and apologize. "sorry, for earlier." you were happy that he actually apologized, but you want him to be more genuine. so you told him that. "ugh, i'm sorry, okay? dont...ignore me like that again, dumbass."

he may have called you a dumbass, but you're 100% sure that he didn't mean it.

SUOU HAYATO :

would immediately notice your change in behaviour, and he would immediately apologize. but, you being you, stays upset for the whole day. he is so confused on what to do. he offers you tea, he apologized again, but you still won't budge. what do you want him to do? get on his knees so you would forgive him?

well, he can do that. when he does, you immediately told him to stand up and asks what he's doing. "what do you mean? i'm just asking for your forgiveness, love." he says, as if stating the obvious. you waved both your hands in panic infront of your face, saying that he doesn't have to go that far for your forgiveness.

"oh? what do you want me to do, then?" he asked once again, and you go quiet. your fingers are trembling because you can't just possibly tell him to do whatever you want for your forgiveness. but you did anyway. not with your words, but with your actions. you lift your hand and use your finger to point to your lips, asking him to kiss you.

his eyes went wide slightly before he chuckled and approached you. he grabbed you by your chin and gave you a peck on your lips. he pulled back then whispered, "if you want that as an apology, you could've said so since the beginning."

SAKURA HARUKA :

oh, oh no. he's upset that you're upset. well, he's not angry at you. he's confused as to why you would get so upset over a simple little joke. all he did was hid your phone under the pillows in the living room, pretended not to see it—although it failed because he's bad at stifling his laughs, then reveals it to you. he doesn't understand why you would get upset over that.

not only that, sakura is the WORSE(with italic and bold) at apologizing. even worse than kaji. he has way too much pride in himself to actually apologize, which make this predicament much worser for the both of you. but of course, since you're his lovely partner, he'd try his best to apologize to you.

it took a lot of practice in the bathroom, and he finally had the courage to approach you and apologize, even though he is still stuttering. but, when he had the courage, an hour has passed already, and you aren't even upset at him anymore. so when he came up to you and mumbled, "hey, i'm... um... s-sorry, y'know. for earlier. i didn't mean to hurt your feelings." you just chuckled softly at him before quickly pulling him into a hug. you tell him that no, you're not upset anymore at him, and that you appreciate his effort to apologize at you by practicing his apology over and over again for an hour.

he asks you to never mention that last part ever again.

naomi-nana. do NOT repost, do not use,(with or without permission), do not reccommend or talk about my works outside of tumblr.

[coralinnii]

Hello! If u dont remember me I'm the person that requested the villainess au Trey x reader from a long time ago, just wanna drop in and say I really look forward to your works and hope you have a great day/night/time! Sorry for bothering you if this message ends up being a bother

‧₊˚✧ Being Reincarnated into a New World as the Bad Guy‧₊˚✧

feat: Trey

genre: slow burn, coworkers-to-something more

note: no pronouns were used for reader, reader is implied to be old enough to work, mentions of poisoning and assassination attempts, reader is somewhat emotionally constipated.

extra note: While Trey is not quite in-character as I would like, he is supposed to be younger than his canon version, so I wanted him to be more unsure and inexperienced than his future self.

I did it, I finally got this done. Praise me (don't)

Being Reincarnated as the Bad Guy aka Villain/ess AU masterlist

You don’t get paid enough for this nonsense. No, you seriously don’t.

One minute you were finally getting off a particularly bad shift at work, only to be in this strange world you don’t recognize…as a low-ranking servant to the bloody royal family!

The rules, the standards, the pretentious nobles you have to smile in fear of having your neck sliced…where’s OSHA when you need them?

At least your coworkers were decent and you’re not in charge of anything too major like waiting on the Queen or her son, unlike that young aide-in-training you see running up and down the palace…poor Sir Clover.

Not your problem, though

…Until a couple of greedy noblemen forced a vial of poison into your hands, promising you a grand reward of money and status for your compliance. They wanted you to spike the drink of the crown prince’s closest aide-in-training so they could plant their own men by his side.

With your best service smile on, you handed back the vial back.

“No ❤️”

When they try to threaten you, you kindly remind them that if they plan to drag you in the mud, you’re not above pulling them along with you.

“If I’m going down, I’m dragging everyone with me.”

Once that was over, you wanted to cleanse yourself from this ugly conspiracy. You were way too busy worrying about your own neck, and you assumed that Sir Clover was cautious over his own safety that you, a mere worker bee, have nothing to contribute.

However, you do notice that the young green-haired man seems to prioritize others over himself, and the lights to his room are often still lit until late into the night. An honest young man burdened with responsibilities; his defenses may not always be on guard…

Ugghh, what a pain in the-

“Um, excuse me?” You looked to the tall nobleman trying to capture your attention.

“Yes, Sir Clover?”

“Were you originally scheduled to work today?”

You held your urge to click your tongue. Of course, Trey would be aware of at least who was scheduled to wait on Prince Riddle and him. What an annoyingly conscientious man.

“My colleague was feeling unwell so I offered to take her place for today. I apologize for not informing you beforehand.” You bowed politely which made the bespectacled man a little flustered.

“No, I’m grateful she could take a rest. Thank you for taking up the role but please let us know next time so we can offer some medical help if needed.”

That wouldn’t be necessary, you thought as you nodded regardless. Your coworker wasn’t really sick in any way but she was more than happy to switch schedules with you.

Many of the servants are under the impression that you harbored a crush on the admittedly cute aide-in-training since you were caught glancing at his direction more often than usual. It wouldn't be surprising if your “crush” in question is also aware of the gossip, which leads to his tenseness around you. Be it kindness or hesitance, Sir Clover chose not to reprimand you for doing as you please.

“What a pain, but I guess it works in my favor anyway.”

A knock rang through the room and with Riddle’s permission, an anxious maid came in with a tray carrying a tea set, confusing everyone in the room.

It’s not time for afternoon tea yet.

“What is the meaning of this?” For someone so young, Riddle’s sharp tone ran a deadly chill down everyone’s back. “Afternoon tea is not for another 13 minutes.”

The maid stuttered in fear, the tea set clattering slightly in her hands. “T-The servants thought that His Highness and Sir C-Clover have been working tirelessly today and perhaps some tea could help.”

You had too much of a survival instinct to dare look at the prince but the silence and building heat in the air was evidence enough that the thought was not appreciative.

Trey was quick to clear the tension with an awkward cough and a smile. “Thank you, I could use some.”

At his words, you dutifully proceeded to reach for the set when the maid hastily pulled it away from you.

Strange

“I-I can do it. Please excuse me” Without sparing a glance towards you, the maid quickly set the tray down on a nearby table and worked to pour a cup.

You’ve seen this maid only a few times. She was a new addition to the roster, too new to approach the royal family but here she was. She hadn't even learned how to properly hold the pot which was noticeable to everyone but was ignored (at the behest of Trey’s wordless plea) due to assumed inexperience.

“She’s so nervous but here she is, so adamant about serving some damn tea…”

A suffocating feeling rising in your throat, you watched with trepidation as the maid walked towards Trey while holding the teacup almost too preciously.

“Eek!” The maid shrieked when your hand squeezed her wrist in an unforgiving grip. She turned to question you but your glare kept her silent.

Trey looked at you with confusion, but your attention kept on the shaking maid and the teacup. With your other hand, you reach for your silver brooch given as part of your uniform to symbolize you as a person of the royal family.

The confusion in Trey’s eyes turned to disbelief when he watched your silver brooch become a damning color as you dipped the silver into the tea.

The broken maid would have crumbled completely onto the pristine floor if not for your hand still on her wrist. While she seemed to be a bumbling mess begging for her life, you couldn’t risk her making a run for it.

You don’t get paid enough for this nonsense.

”So, it was a plan to replace me…permanently.”

You stood silently in front of the solemn man in his office. After arresting her, it was easy to extract information from the maid and prince Riddle is gathering evidence for their act of treason, including your own interrogation.

“You are the trusted aide-to-be of the prince that cannot be bribed. You’re considered an obstacle.” You bowed your head. “I apologize for not speaking out sooner but if it were just my words without evidence, I could have my tongue removed for accusing nobility.”

If it was just you, then you wouldn’t be as confident. But to think that those corrupted nobles managed to convince someone else to do their dirty work. They were desperate and now that there was an attempt, the higher authorities have to take action.

“I shouldn’t feel bad for that maid…why should I for the choice she made…” you could still feel the sensation of that woman’s shaking body in the hand that held her. You don’t like it.

“Ha, you really don’t sugarcoat your words.” Trey’s voice pulled you back as he tried to laugh but his young body felt too heavy to put his whole heart into it.

But it’s finally over. The poisoning failed and those stupid noble scums were on Prince Riddle’s hit-list. That feeling of guilt that ate at your heart could finally rest in peace…right?

Even when he was the victim of all this, Trey was still sitting in his office in charge of investigating his own assassination attempt, on top of his usual duties in assisting the Royal family.

“Thank you for your time,” he even dares to smile kindly at you with dark circles under his warm eyes. “If you could, please call over the head staff to plan on interrogating the rest of the servants.”

“No.”

“N-No?”

“I won’t be doing that. I could ask the head staff to leave his schedule open if needed or if he could handle it with the guards since that’s his f*cking job,” You stared right into Trey’s eyes which widened in surprise. “For now, I humbly suggest Sir Clover to take a rest in his room or to work on something other than your assassination case.”

You didn’t wait for your stunned employer to reply as you bowed politely once more. “If there is nothing else, I shall take my leave.”

You moved away, making your way to the door before pausing. You glanced back at the young man in such a large office and your consciousness felt heavy. Your body was physically no older than Trey or Riddle but the weight on their shoulders was immeasurable, too much for either of them to handle on their own.

“Sir Clover,” you refused to look him in the eyes, “if you ever need anything…I’m willing to assist however I can.”

Immediately regretting your embarrassing words, you quickly added “but during work hours only!” before hastily leaving the office.

A shame really, since you missed the way Trey let out a genuine laugh after so long.

[illicitghoul]

you’re instagram if you were in the BAU (p2)

prt 2 that nobody asked for 🥱 (this is so fun)

part 1 (linked below)

————————————————————————————

yourusername

liked by jen.jj45 and 46 others

yourusername JJ LOVE CLUB (i am also in jj love club but they all voted me to take the photo 💔)

pennycia and you did a great job 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

yourusername i love you pen ���

pennycia I LOVE YOU MOST Y/N

derek.m0rg4n @spencer.re1d i love you

spencer.re1d Stop lying for social media clout

derek.m0rg4n fuck you AND your fuck ass haircut

prentiss.em LMFAO

prentiss.em we are such cuties some ppl wish they were us 🥱

yourusername @prentiss.em real asf

yourusername

liked by elliegreenaway & others

yourusername me and spence were conjoined jellyfish in another life

spencer.re1d Can we be anglerfish

yourusername no? wtf is wrong with you

spencer.re1d 🥱🥱🥱🥱BORING

r0ssi81 that is a very interesting photo

yourusername YOU KNOW HOW TO COMMENT?

r0ssi81 you’re pushing it girl genius

yourusername you’re pushing something…

r0ssi81 when i find out how to block someone you are gone y/n

prentiss.em this is quite cute y/l/n 😭

yourusername you’re quite cute 🤫

prentiss.em send me toe pictures 😂😂😂😂

yourusername NO EMILY!!!!!!!!! (ill email them)

yourusername

liked by spencer.re1d and 51 others

yourusername my cute glowing girlfriend (idk who that random man is 🤷‍♀️ kinda scary)

prentiss.em yeah that is really weird 🥱 anyway i love u wifey mwah mwah

yourusername ugh ily lets go frolic in a field or smth

spencer.re1d Yeah that is really scary - be careful guys

spencer.re1d OH MY I LOOK LIKE A GHOST 😁😁

jen.jj45 it’s like i can still hear his voice…

yourusername :( i miss his cute smile

prentiss.em 🎉

spencer.re1d @prentiss.em You aren’t funny

pennycia 😭😭😭😭

prentiss.em ok comedy police spencer reid????

jen.jj45 shes like an angel !!!!!!

prentiss.em I LOVE YOU JENNIFER 🙁🙁

yourusername

liked by aaron.hotchner and 37 others

yourusername i said serve and they devoured

spencer.re1d Slay !

prentiss.em y/n meant to say i devoured and you kind of chewed…

spencer.re1d Can you stop harassing me?

prentiss.em i kiss your girlfriend on days that end in y

yourusername TRUTH 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

pennycia what cuties!!! seeing their smiles makes me so happy!!!!!!

spencer.re1d You’re my best friend

derek.m0rg4n everytime you speak it breaks my heart

jen.jj45 HAHAAH WHAT

pennycia CRYING

yourusername

liked by elliegreenaway and 43 others

yourusername my bag broke before i left spences 🙁

spencer.re1d Sigh…. the theory for a broken bag means you have to stay where it broke 🤷‍♂️ i dont know i just heard that

derek.m0rg4n my bag broke in your heart… why won’t you let me stay

yourusername you ate with that one derek

yourusername broke bag mountain

elliegreenaway @yourusername LMFAO

pennycia i’ll fix it for you!!! come over girlie!!!

yourusername omw!!!!!

yourusername

liked by derek.m0rg4n and 49 others

yourusername day out with my four wives

pen : fanny pack with snacks and a book

jj : losing her mind (too warm)

em : complaining 🥱

me : having a good time :)

aaron.hotchner I hope you all worn sunscreen

yourusername yes 🫡

prentiss.em 🥱

pennycia i had a great day!!! (i read 3 pages)

jen.jj45 i am LOSING it the HEAT i am gonna COMBUST

derek.m0rg4n @spencer.re1d @aaron.hotchner @r0ssi81 could be us

r0ssi81 I am busy for the foreseeable future

dreak.m0rgan @spencer.re1d @aaron.hotcher

at least rossi replied…

[kxsalt]

hello! i just wanted to say that i really enjoy your stories but i had a little critique about the most recent one you posted.

i didn't like that u had the men ignore her safeword. isn't the whole reason it's present, to ensure that the play is fun for everyone?

i understand that this is a fantasy and it might not reflect your real world values, but i dont think we should be promoting the ignorance of a safeword.

i think what u cud have done is make her use a fake safeword that was meant to be ignored and the men cud hv given her just a bit of aftercare.

but that's just my thoughts, maybe im thinking too much into it haha

anyways i really really enjoy your writing, this was just one thing i got a serious ick about so i decided to send an ask. i hope you won't consider it rude :)

have a great day!

Hello, thanks for your question.

The simple answer is that you are absolutely right - in practicing actual kink and sex those consent tools such as safewords must be used and respected.

The more complex answer is that fiction exists to explore ideas in a safe way. In no way is it an endorsement or promotion of the actions in that particular story. Broadly, using erotic fiction as a model for actual sex is inadvisable.

I make the point that almost all stories omit important consent tools and conversations that happen before or after a scene. We as writers do this to make our stories engaging. Including the 'fake safeword' in that story would actually destroy the purpose of that particular work: To emulate something that cannot be ethically practiced. To take a snapshot of the feelings that people are trying to evoke when roleplaying a scene of this nature, and put those feelings front and center.

Furthermore, some people will prefer to read a fictional account depicting an act of non-consent over a fictional account depicting an act of consensual non-consent. As those works are fictional, they are both consensual. This story just isn’t for you - and that's okay, it's meant for someone else.

That said, the nature of the story does lie outside of my normal scope of writing. Consent is a recurring theme in my work, and I do aim to add content warnings to stories that would be unusual to the average audience member. Therefore, I will add a non-consent cw to that post.

If you're looking for stories that emphasize consent, I would point you towards A Few Weeks and Laughter Over Dinner. If you're looking for stories that depict a consensual context in CNC, I recommend Have Fun, Stay Safe and CNC Tonight.

Thanks again for reaching out. I see this as a valuable discussion, and I appreciate you voicing your concerns.

All my best,

-kxsalt

[particular-one]

hello!! how are you? i hope youre doing well!! im not sure if your requests are open, so feel free to delete this ask if your reqs are closed <33

soo my idea was a dan heng x gn!reader. angst with comfort/fluff? basically reader is a bit unsure and insecure of their relationship and thought of maybe that dan heng deserved a better partner, so they decided to distance themselves a little and slowly broke up with him.

i'll leave it up to you for the ending and dan heng's reaction! please take your time with this request and feel free to reject it if you dont feel comfortable with it!! also im unsure if u made smth similar to this so um yeah ansndjd HAVE A GREAT DAY!!

what if it doesn’t end well?

pairing. dan heng x gn! reader author's note. dunno if you read my mind or smth anon... but i had literally been thinking abt writing smth along these lines before you sent the ask, so i was so jawdropped seeing this in my inbox SJDJDKSJD sorry for the wait anon! i hope you liked this :>

you very well knew just how lucky you are to have someone like dan heng as your partner, your other half.

dan heng, who would, without fail, place a warm blanket or his own coat over you when he found you sprawled on the couches of the express. dan heng, who would wake you up to the smell of freshly cooked cosmic fried rice for your breakfast — which resulted to march and pom pom complaining where their shares are.

dan heng, who would give your head a pat, before bringing you into his arms for the tighest embrace whenever you looked even remotely down.

he was good. too good for you.

you had always imagined that your perfect partner would be someone like him, so your relationship was indeed, a dream come true. your thoughts should have ended already, there and then.

except, it had constantly wandered to the deep end— to the dreaded land of uncertainty and insecurity.

somehow, you saw how dan heng would barely be able to stifle his laughter when march would say something hilarious. you'd watch as how dan heng would look like he would be out of breath, but no doubt having way more fun when he was out adventuring with the trailblazer. even with welt, there was a certain change of demeanor that you didn’t see when he was around you.

bit by bit, your worries had gotten the better of you. could he have been merely settling for you? what if you weren't actually his dream partner, and you were just shackling him down?

"y/n?"

you had been too preoccupied with your own thoughts that march had been looking over at you worriedly, a can of bottled soda in her hand. your eyes had glanced over to dan heng, who had been equally staring at you, but his expression was inscrutable.

that was the hardest part with dan heng. you could never quite tell what he was thinking.

you cleared your throat and forced a smile. "yeah, i'm fine." though dan heng did not look all that convinced, march seemed rather satisfied with your reply and returned to rambling animatedly.

you actually felt bad that you had been zoning march out, but your worries had only multipled in magnitude as of late, when you had been mulling over your relationship for the past few days. your fingers were absentmindedly grazing over your cup again when you heard your name again.

"yeah, y/n! just how were you able to break down the cold exterior of dan heng, anyways?" the question had taken you by surprise, and at the corner of your eye, you could see dan heng had been looking at you with a careful expression — again, you still couldn't completely tell what he had been thinking.

"uh..." how did you, actually? the both of you had only been dating for a little over two months now, but you couldn't... remember. had it been you or dan heng that had approached the other for the possibility of a relationship?

"i... well, i guess dan heng had just allowed for it to happen, honestly." you weren't so sure of your answer, but your heart sank a little when you saw dan heng's expression change, his eyebrows raised.

though he was quick to conceal it, the fact that you had seen it only confirmed the worst of your nightmares. "oooooh, is that true, dan heng—?"

"sorry, i don't.. feel so good right now. can i excuse myself?” eyes were on you again, but before they could say anything to stop you, you bowed briefly and took your leave.

just as you were making your way to your room on the express, you could hear footsteps behind you. unmistakably, his footsteps. “y/n.”

“mm-hm?” you mumbled, not even turning back to face him. the last thing you wanted to see was dan heng’s inscrutable expression again. there was a pause, before he spoke again. “are you sure you’re okay?”

without missing a beat, you laughed, hoping it did not come out bitterly. “yeah. i am, don’t worry about me. you can go back to them.” you still didn’t want to meet his gaze, just as you heard him step towards you.

you had half expected that maybe, dan heng would wrap his arms around you in comfort, or that he’d declare those three words to you just to give you some semblance of security. you waited, just as you had his back on him.

silence, before you heard his footsteps once again, but they only grew fainter in sound.

so he chose to leave. that’s okay. it's okay.

you could hardly blink back your tears as you ran back into your room in a hurry before anyone on the express would ask you that same dreaded question again.

no. you weren’t okay.

━━━━━━━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━━━━━━━

the following days involved a wild game of hide and seek from dan heng. which ... wasn't all that easy when you live in the same train as him. the longer it dragged on, the harder it got, but you just wanted to avoid seeing dan heng as much as possible.

you could feel dan heng's stare pierce your back each time you darted away or when you made up some excuse that you needed to be in the room that he wasn't in. the fact that you even offered your cleaning services to pom pom so you would busy yourself with thoughts that did not concern him.

"you sure nothing's going on, y/n—?" you nodded absentmindedly, just as himeko set down a heaping plate of food and a cup of her infamous coffee in front of you. "you know, typically you'd ask dan heng for breakfast..." you easily took a large gulp of the coffee in your mouth to avoid talking about that, instead shaking your head. you regretted that almost instantly, the bitterness of the coffee making you cough unprompted.

"n-nope! nothing's wrong."

it'll probably take more than that to convince himeko, who had leaned back against the couch with a raised brow just as march entered with a jovial smile and greeting with welt after her.

and dan heng. oh shit.

your utensils fell on the table with a clang, as you mumbled yet another excuse to get out there — you felt bad to see himeko's face fall when you just abandoned that good plate of breakfast like that, but you were much more concerned with your distancing mission.

"y/n, wait—" but you couldn't wait. you did not need him to cloud your thoughts any further. you pushed the door past where march and the others had entered from, as your pace quickened.

"y/n." no. don't. you didn't want to run, but you were growing desperate.

"y/n!" you felt a hand on your shoulder and you finally whirled back to meet his gaze for the first time in days. you had been anticipating to see that unreadable expression of his, but you were hit with a wave of surprise and a pang to the heart.

he was staring into your eyes, his eyes brimming in worry and concern. dan heng always had a piercing gaze, but even if this one still sent shivers down your spine, it had an odd way of enveloping your body with a sensitive warmth that only brought out the worst of your emotions out.

he still had that effect on you; he'll always have.

"y/n, what's wrong?" he kept his distance, save for the hand on your shoulder just as you cast your eyes downward. "you've been avoiding me since that night. i.."

"i think we should break up." you were almost grateful that you hadn't been looking at him when you finally blurted it out loud. only, you had regretted to look up and see his reaction.

dan heng had always been distant and unreadable; even when you were going out, you knew there were always things that he hid from you. yet, at that moment, you could have sworn all his walls broke down to unveil the pained soul underneath.

"is it something i did?" it was a simple question, but even the way dan heng said it quietly made your heart clench. "no, no, no. it's not. you've done nothing wrong."

"is it me, then?" even when you had withstood the harshest of battles, nothing quite like this had ripped your heart out before.

"no— dan heng, it's not you, or something you've done, or anything about you, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me—"

"then why?" his last question come out choked in emotion, something you had not been prepared for to witness at all. it just made your heart break even more, just as you were unwillingly breaking his. you're shaking your head, just as you turned your back on him again, but his hand held onto you tightly, not letting go.

"y/n, i don't understand why—" "it's because you're too good for me!"

"you're dependable when i'm the opposite, you've always made sure that i would be warm with a blanket when i foolishly fall asleep outside of my room again. hell, you're one of the pillars of this express, and i ... i..." had you been screaming? you felt like you were already out of breath, your heart was starting to throb as if you had forgotten how to breathe, but everything just kept tumbling out. "i just- i just don't know what you see in me—."

you could hardly register what was going on when dan heng cupped your face before kissing you mid-sentence. you could feel even the heaviest of your emotions evaporate as you allowed his warmth to finally envelop you in a calming embrace, the very touch you had been undeniably craving for for the past few days.

dan heng slowly pulled away from you, just as he brushed a tear rolling down your cheek. "hey. i love you, okay? i love you, even if you're picky about the food i cook. even if you'd constantly forget my reminders about not staying out late, i still love you." you had nodded, just as you wrapped your arms around his chest tightly. dan heng wrapped his arm around your head and tucked you in his embrace.

"but what if things don't end well?" you murmured, just as dan heng pulled away to hold your face in his hands. "then i'll stave that off for as long as possible." he gave your forehead a soft kiss, before giving you a smile.

"and if you think you're only good for nothing, know that you'll always be everything to me."

written by carlyle (@particular-one) copyright: all content belongs to particular-one on tumblr (2023)

[miumura]

LOVING YOU FROM A DISTANCE — HEE FIC.

“one day, i will stop falling in love with you…”

S ☆ — Heeseung has liked you for ages, too long for him to even recall how. Sure, he should be confessing now, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t, especially if you have a boyfriend. So how is he going to tell you his feelings in only a span of a year before he leaves?

2 LOVERS? — best-friend!heeseung x best-friend!fem!reader

GENRE — high school au, bsfs to lovers to ???, he fell first, she fell harder (+ sort of right person, wrong time), angst, fluff

WARNINGS — brief mentions of insecurities (abt looks, way they act, etc), some people may be shitty …

FEATURING — beomgyu from txt, sunghoon from enhypen

WORD COUNT — 18K+ (18379)

SOPH — giving angst another try 🙏 and with lyfad being the one with the most votes on that poll, this is the fic you guys chose! you let me know if you chose the correct one 😊 (sona don’t speak u dont count u lyfad HATER 🤬🤬🤬) . also i looped the playlist i linked when writing so you know the playlist really hit 😜 anyways i hope you enjoy <33 !

ONE.

You looked at him, your gaze filled with admiration for Heeseung’s abilities. He had remained seated, skillfully plucking the guitar strings and producing a soft chord. As he glanced up, he smiled upon seeing your awestruck expression. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride for having such a talented best friend.

Whether it was academics, sports, or any other endeavor he pursued, he seemed to effortlessly excel in everything he did. His dedication and determination were inspiring, as he never settled for mediocrity. Being around him sparked motivation within you, urging you to push your limits and strive for greatness.

"Dang, you're good. I never knew you could play!" you exclaimed as he finished playing the guitar.

Heeseung smiled and put the guitar down beside him. "You know me; I'm always good at everything, but I don't mean to boast," he said. “You really don't know your best friend, do you?"

"Seriously, you're good at everything. It's hard to keep up with you," you joked, thinking about all the skills he possessed. "I wish I could play like you."

"It's not that difficult to learn. You're a quick learner," he reassured.

Eagerly, you suggested, "Could you teach me?"

"Sure, why not?" he agreed with a smile.

Excited about the opportunity to learn from Heeseung, you both decided to take some time for a quick guitar lesson. You sat right beside him, preparing to learn a few tips.

"Alright, let's start with the basics," Heeseung said, holding the guitar and showing you how to hold it properly. He hands you his guitar, allowing you to copy what he does.

You watched attentively, eager to learn everything you could. "Like this?" you asked, mimicking his hand position.

“Exactly, just position that slightly a bit more towards this way,” he scoots closer to you, propping the item correctly in your hand. “You’re doing great!”

"Now, let's learn how to strum the strings." He demonstrated a gentle strumming motion. "Try it yourself." He hands you the pick, watching over you as you try it out.

You nervously held the guitar and attempted to replicate his strumming. The sound was a bit off, but you kept trying.

Heeseung smiled reassuringly. "You’re doing great! Perfect for a first timer."

He patiently taught you the chords, giving you the encouragement and guidance that you needed. Even if you fumbled a bit, you gradually started improving the sounds. "Wow, that sounds much better now!" you exclaimed, surprised by your progress.

Heeseung chuckled. "See? You're a fast learner. Just keep practicing, and you'll be playing like a pro in no time."

"I just have to teach you a few more basic chords before I can teach you a song," Heeseung said, reaching over to take the guitar from your hands. However, before he could proceed, the door swung open, revealing Beomgyu. He greeted you both with a warm smile.

"You know," Beomgyu chimed in cheerfully, "if you really wanted to learn guitar, you should've asked me." He plopped down beside you, extending a hand towards Heeseung. "Hand me that guitar, Hee."

You exchanged surprised glances, amazed by the unexpected turn of events. Handing the guitar over to Beomgyu, you watched as he effortlessly adjusted his posture and strummed a few chords.

"I've been playing for a while now," Beomgyu continued, "and I'd love to share what I've learned with you."

"You know how to play guitar too?" you asked Beomgyu in surprise.

"Of course I do. Your boyfriend knows a thing or two," Beomgyu replied cheesily, earning a giggle from you. As the playful banter continued, Heeseung couldn't help but feel a twinge of discomfort, sensing himself becoming the third wheel. However, it wasn't an entirely unfamiliar situation.

Gradually distancing himself from the two of you, Heeseung settled into a corner, observing your interaction. He wore a gentle smile, occasionally chuckling at your playful mistakes and Beomgyu's teasing scolds.

In that moment, Heeseung couldn't deny the bittersweet longing within him. He wished he could be more than just your best friend; he wished for something more.

In the corner, Heeseung's heart felt conflicted as he watched your interaction with Beomgyu. Part of him wished he could be the one making you laugh and sharing those playful moments together. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if he were the one holding the guitar, strumming strings that would make your heart skip a beat.

He tried shaking the thoughts away, just as he easily did when he first found out you and Beomgyu were dating. But it was getting more difficult to accept it, rather than easily moving on as he should. Even if he’s happy for you, deep down, there’s still that silent hope that one day the stars will align and you will see him in a different light. But until then, he continued to cherish every moment spent with you, treasuring the friendship that was the foundation of it all.

And so, with a mixture of emotions, Heeseung chose to stay in that corner, watching over you and Beomgyu, silently wishing for your happiness, even if it meant his own heart had to endure a subtle ache in the process.

What else could he possibly do?

All he knows is that he must finally share something he's been keeping inside for a while. He knows he has to do it soon, before it becomes too late, even if the odds aren't in his favor. And he needs to know when it is the right time to do so.

TWO.

"Man, can you believe it's our final year already?" You exclaim, intertwining your arm with Beomgyu's as Heeseung quietly trails behind.

"I know, right? We've made so many unforgettable memories here," Beomgyu replies, his hair tousled by the wind.

"Definitely. This school will always hold a special place in our hearts," you say, noticing Heeseung's lack of response. "Come on, Heeseung, don't lag behind like that." You pause, grabbing his arm and pulling him closer to you. Heeseung cracks a smile, now walking beside you as you keep your hand on his arm, ensuring he doesn't get left behind.

Heeseung can't help but notice that if you continue to act this way, it becomes increasingly difficult for him to let go of his feelings for you. Instead of feeling numb or unaffected, he experiences a strange, growing sensation in his gut that intensifies with each passing day. Every little gesture or interaction from you brings a blush to his cheeks, causing his face to turn pink. As much as he wishes and wants to keep feeling these things, he can’t enjoy them for too long. All because of your relationship with Beomgyu, his other best friend.

Trios often come with their own set of complications, and deep down, Heeseung silently disagrees with the idea of it working out for you three. Being in a trio, especially when two friends are in a romantic relationship, usually leaves the third person feeling like an outsider. However, you and Beomgyu are unaware of Heeseung's hidden feelings. Heeseung was adept at concealing his true feelings.

Heeseung can vividly recall the day when Beomgyu asked you out and witnessed the joy that lit up your face upon accepting. He saw the radiant smile you directed towards Beomgyu, and in that moment, Heeseung had no choice but to smile back, despite the confusion and mixed emotions swirling within him.

He wondered why he couldn't be the one to bring that smile to your face, just like Beomgyu did effortlessly. Ever since that day, Heeseung has been pretending to be genuinely happy for you and Beomgyu, even though it weighs heavily on his conscience.

Heeseung carries a sense of guilt for pretending to be a supportive friend. Deep down, he yearns for something more, but he also grapples with the realization that his desires may never be fulfilled.

As time went on, Heeseung couldn't shake the feeling that he and Beomgyu were growing apart, and he believed that you were the cause of their distance. In his eyes, you became a huge barrier, separating him from Beomgyu. The bond they once shared seemed to weaken, overshadowed by the presence of your relationship.

Heeseung was convinced that Beomgyu knew of his crush on you. He remembers Beomgyu's comments whenever he gets caught looking at you with adoring eyes or speaking more softly when you are around. However, Heeseung had consistently denied any romantic feelings to Beomgyu, perhaps leading Beomgyu to pursue a relationship with you. Heeseung couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if he hadn't denied his true emotions.

Heeseung wondered if it was his fault for giving up his chance. Perhaps he had been too hesitant, fearing the potential consequences of confessing his feelings to a longtime best friend. Heeseung couldn't deny that, if it were you, he would gladly accept his confession in an instant. However, he remained uncertain about your response. The fear of rejection and the possibility of jeopardizing the bond you shared kept him hesitant and apprehensive.

It was definitely his fault—at least that’s what Heeseung thought.

"Bye, Gyu!" you called out before heading off to your first period. Thankfully, Heeseung shared most of his classes with you, which he was grateful for.

"Bye, cutie!" Beomgyu playfully messed up his hair and quickly darted away before you could yell at him. It made Heeseung feel a bit uncomfortable, as he found it gross, but if he were the one saying those words to you, it would be a different story.

Heeseung knew he should try to suppress these feelings, but it was easier said than done.

"Come on, Heeseung, let's grab seats near the window." You pulled him along by the sleeve, leading him into the classroom. He couldn't help but smile at your enthusiasm, allowing you to take the lead.

How could he simply stop falling for you?

"Why don't we sit there?" Heeseung suggested, pointing to the two desks at the back of the classroom. You glanced around, noticing they were the only available seats left.

"It's a bit far," you remarked, but nonetheless, you walked over to the desks with Heeseung.

"Don't worry; if we take any notes, you can always look at mine," Heeseung reassured you with a smile.

As you settled into your seats, Heeseung pulled out his notebook and pen, ready for the class to begin.

"I hope it's an interesting class today," you said, glancing around the room.

Heeseung chuckled softly. "Well, I can’t say the same. With you by my side, any class becomes more enjoyable."

You laughed at Heeseung’s remark, giving him a glance. "You always know how to make me smile, Heeseung."

Heeseung's heart skipped a beat, but he quickly composed himself. "I'm glad to hear that. It's important to make each other happy, right?"

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. You playfully teased Heeseung, "Definitely. Geez, where did you learn these words from? Beomgyu?"

What a way to ruin the mood.

The mention of Beomgyu's name brought a slight pang to Heeseung's heart. It seemed like no matter the conversation, Beomgyu's name would always find its way into the mix. He couldn't help but wonder why it couldn't just be the two of you, free from the presence of his best friend. Was it wrong for him to feel a sense of dread whenever Beomgyu's name was mentioned?

"Nope," Heeseung replied with a forced smile, hoping to mask the feelings swirling within him. He didn't want to burden you with his internal struggles, especially when you seemed to be oblivious to any underlying tension.

You took his response at face value, assuming that everything was fine. Unaware of the mixed emotions he was suppressing, you continued to talk with him, leaving Heeseung to grapple with his unspoken feelings.

Heeseung knew deep down that he would forever be seen as just a friend in your eyes. Despite this painful realization, he couldn't bring himself to reveal the truth and risk losing the precious bond you both shared.

Each passing day, he endured the ache in his heart, all while putting on a facade of unwavering support and friendship. It was the least he could do for you to see you happy with Beomgyu. He didn't want to disrupt the harmony that existed between you and risk causing any rifts.

Even though it pained him with each passing day.

Is it bad to always wish for more?

THREE.

"Class is so boring," you whispered to Heeseung, unable to hide your lack of interest in the lecture. The monotony of the school routine had already set in, and it felt like another uneventful week.

"I know, right?" Heeseung replied, resting his head on his hand. He couldn't afford to let himself get too bored, knowing that you would probably ask him for notes once you snapped out of your drowsiness. He slid his notebook closer to you, diligently jotting down everything the teacher was saying.

"Thank you, Hee," you whispered, grateful for his assistance as you gazed absentmindedly out the window. You couldn't have asked for a better seatmate.

Heeseung hummed in response, stealing a glance at you and breaking into a warm smile.

Heeseung continued writing, his focus momentarily interrupted by the sensation of a cold marker tracing along his resting arm. He glanced over to find you grinning mischievously and drawing random doodles on his skin.

A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he pointed at one of the drawings. "What the hell is that?" he teased, referring to the lopsided smiley face you had sketched. You joined in his laughter, defending your artistic skills.

"Hey, don't judge my smiley faces! You were moving too much, so it ended up like that!" You playfully protested, pretending to be offended by his critique.

"Sure, sure. I could definitely do better. Give me the marker," Heeseung teased, reaching out to take the marker from you.

"No way!" you exclaimed, pulling it away from his reach. "Oh, come on! Let me show you my superior doodling skills," he pleaded, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You playfully shook your head, resisting his attempts to snatch the marker from your grasp. "Sorry, but I don't think the world is ready for your 'superior' doodling skills," you teased, a smirk dancing on your lips.

Heeseung feigned a hurt expression, dramatically clutching his chest. "Ouch, that hurts! My artistic abilities are being underestimated here," he replied, mock offense evident in his tone.

You laughed, enjoying the playful banter between the two of you. It was moments like these that made you appreciate Heeseung's presence even more. He always knew how to bring a smile to your face, even in the midst of a dull classroom.

"Here, let me give it a try," Heeseung insisted, determined to draw something special. You relented, finally surrendering the marker to his hands. He gently took hold of your wrist, bringing your arm closer to him, and focused on creating the perfect smiley face.

As he meticulously crafted the drawing, his brows furrowed in concentration. However, despite his efforts, the smiley face seemed to take on a similar drooped appearance to the one you had drawn on him earlier. Heeseung's disappointment was evident on his face.

"Look—" he began to say, but you quickly interjected with a laugh, not letting him finish. You found it amusing that the smiley face turned out nearly identical to yours.

"See! I told you, it's the same for everyone!" you exclaimed, chuckling at the matching doodle he had created on your arm.

"It might be the marker's fault," Heeseung suggested, trying to find an explanation.

"Fault or not, at least we have these adorable matching doodles now," you replied, a warm smile gracing your lips. You moved your arm closer to his, comparing the two smiley faces side by side.

“They’re actually pretty cute,” Heeseung said with a smile, his eyes reflecting genuine warmth. He couldn’t help but find the simplicity of the smiley-face drawings charming.

"They definitely are," you agreed, admiring the simple yet endearing drawings. For a brief moment, it felt like there was nothing else in the world except the two of you, sharing a genuine connection.

“Oh right—Beomgyu’s basketball game is next week; are you coming?” You asked as the question finally popped into your head.

There was a basketball game already. Heeseung frowned, quickly regaining composure, so you didn’t notice. He didn't want you to notice the twinge of disappointment he felt deep inside. In that instant, Heeseung couldn't help but be reminded of the unspoken truth between you.

No matter how much he cared for you, Beomgyu would always hold a special place in your heart as your boyfriend. Heeseung, on the other hand, would forever remain in the background, a loyal friend with unrequited feelings.

He had grown accustomed to being the one in the background, supporting you both silently. But in moments like these, the contrast between his hidden feelings and the reality of your relationship with Beomgyu became more apparent, casting a shadow over his heart. It was a reminder that no matter how much he wished for something more, he would always be the one left behind, watching from afar.

As much as he wanted to be happy for Beomgyu and support your relationship, it was hard not to feel a tinge of sadness and longing. But Heeseung knew he had to hide those emotions to preserve the friendship that meant so much to him.

With a sigh, Heeseung forced a smile and added, "I'm sure it'll be a great game. I'll be there to cheer Beomgyu on." Deep down, however, he couldn't help but wish for a different outcome, knowing it was a distant dream.

You nodded, sensing a shift in Heeseung's demeanor, but you didn't press any further. It seemed like your words passed through him, as if he were lost in his own thoughts. The sound of the bell ringing didn't even register for him, further emphasizing his distant state of mind.

Concern crossed your face as you gently touched his arm, trying to bring him back to the present. "Heeseung, are you okay? You seem a bit off today."

He blinked, refocusing his attention on you, and mustered a small smile. "Yeah, sorry about that. I just got lost in my thoughts. I'm fine, really."

Though his words reassured you, a lingering worry remained. It was unlike Heeseung to be so absent-minded. As you both gathered your belongings and prepared to leave the classroom, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was bothering him—something he wasn't willing to share just yet.

"Let's meet at our usual spot, alright? I'm sure Gyu's already waiting," you said, getting ready to leave the classroom while Heeseung was still packing up.

Of course he'd be waiting.

"Yeah, see you guys later," Heeseung replied, attempting to sound cheerful, which elicited a faint smile from you.

Putting away his pencil case, Heeseung glanced at the oddly drawn smiley face and the random doodles you had playfully sketched on him. It brought a genuine smile to his face. However, as he let out a heavy sigh, he gathered his belongings and exited the classroom, making his way towards the usual meeting spot.

In his heart, Heeseung held onto the hope that his sincere smiles and friendly gestures would be enough to conceal his true feelings, at least for the time being. As he walked towards the rendezvous point, a bittersweet smile lingered on his lips. He knew he could still bring a small measure of happiness to your life, even if it couldn't be in the way he longed for.

Yes, he could do that, he reassured himself, even though deep down he couldn't help but wonder how long he could keep up the facade.

He shouldn’t have any trouble doing so, right?

FOUR.

It was the day. The day for Beomgyu’s basketball game, the one you’ve been worried about. Heeseung doesn’t understand why your boyfriend was a good player anyway.

“You think I should make a sign?” you asked, seeking Heeseung’s opinion.

“Depends on how big it’s going to be,” he replied, maintaining his nonchalant demeanor.

“I don’t know, maybe just like a small banner that says, ‘BEOMGYU ACE!’ It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think so?” You said, already excitedly planning how you would like to decorate it.

Hearing you use the term “Ace” for others always felt a bit weird to him. He’d listen to it very often now when you went to compliment Beomgyu. He couldn’t help but reminisce about the times you’d called him that—a little joke between you two. But it seemed like things had changed, and he had to accept it.

Although the word “Ace” seems to suit him better. You should’ve just made a sign for him instead, but he couldn’t bring himself to voice that desire. How would he do that anyway?

You didn’t know the slight wince that crossed Heeseung’s face as his back was turned towards you. He forced a small smile when he turned around, focusing on being a supportive friend.

“Yeah, I think that would be nice,” Heeseung finally said, breaking the brief silence. “I’m sure he’d love it.”

Heeseung would’ve liked it. A lot.

So there he was, listening attentively and giving you suggestions on how to decorate it. After all, it was Beomgyu’s important day, and you two had to do something to support him.

When you two arrived, the excitement was noticeable in the air. Heeseung found himself amidst a sea of people, sitting on the bleachers with you.

“I’m already nervous,” You say to Heeseung, not being able to shake off the feeling. You weren’t playing; Beomgyu was, but you couldn’t help it.

“I’m sure Beomgyu will do great; he always has,” Heeseung reassures you, grabbing the water bottle next to him. “Here, this might help you a bit.”

You took the water, taking anxious sips. Heeseung was right; Beomgyu was, without a doubt, a fantastic player. His basketball skills were undeniably impressive, and it was one of the qualities that initially drew you closer to him.

As the game was about to begin, the atmosphere in the gymnasium became charged with excitement. The sound of enthusiastic cheers and rhythmic clapping of hands filled the air. Heeseung and you stood up, joining the crowd in cheering for Beomgyu’s team.

When Beomgyu’s team made their entrance, you couldn’t contain your excitement. The radiant energy exuded by the team was palpable, and you eagerly searched for Beomgyu among his teammates. Your face lit up when your eyes locked with his, and you couldn't help but let out a squeal of delight. "Beomgyu!" you called out, your voice filled with admiration and support. He noticed you in the crowd and grinned, waving back at you with a mixture of pride and determination.

As Beomgyu's gaze met Heeseung's, a moment of acknowledgment passed between them. Beomgyu raised his hand and waved at Heeseung, a genuine smile gracing his face. Heeseung reciprocates the gesture, waving back with equal warmth, momentarily pushing aside his internal struggles.

As the referee blew the whistle and the game began, Beomgyu's determination was apparent in his every move. You could tell that Beomgyu was motivated to perform well in the game, not just for himself but also for you. The desire to impress and make you proud shone in his eyes as he prepared to take the court. It was evident that he wanted to demonstrate his skills and prove himself as a capable athlete, all while knowing that your eyes would be on him throughout the game.

Beomgyu's basketball skills were undeniably impressive, and it was one of the qualities that initially drew you toward him. His agility, precision, and finesse on the court were captivating to watch. You admired his dedication and natural talent, which made him stand out among his peers. It was no wonder that you were attracted to him, as his basketball prowess added to his overall appeal.

Heeseung, although standing beside you, couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. He masked his true feelings with a supportive smile, even though inside, it hurt him to witness the connection between you and Beomgyu growing stronger. He couldn't deny the talent and effort Beomgyu put into the game, but a part of him longed for your attention to shift toward him.

Every now and then, Heeseung's eyes would unconsciously drift to you. He watched as you cheered, your voice filled with genuine enthusiasm. Your laughter and smiles were contagious, spreading joy to those around you. He couldn't help but feel a mix of happiness and sadness, knowing that he wasn't the one who could evoke those reactions from you.

Seeing you smile and cheer for your boyfriend, Heeseung couldn't help but feel a pang of longing deep within his chest. What was so different between him and Beomgyu? Is it because Beomgyu was more good-looking? Did he have the features that could make anyone fall for him and not him?

His thoughts were slowly eating him alive, as if they were gnawing on his skin. He quickly pushed those thoughts aside, reminding himself to focus on supporting his friends.

As the game reached its climax, Beomgyu's team secured a victory, and the crowd erupted into cheers and applause. Heeseung clapped enthusiastically, sharing in the jubilant atmosphere. He couldn't deny the pride he felt for his friend's achievement.

After the game, filled with excitement, you and Heeseung approached Beomgyu. The elation on your faces was palpable, but unbeknownst to you, Heeseung was grappling with inner turmoil.

"You did amazing!" you exclaimed, extending your arms for a congratulatory hug from Beomgyu. He reciprocated with a wide smile, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground, twirling you in a moment of pure joy.

Your infectious laughter echoed through the air, enveloping the scene. It was as if Heeseung blended into the background, a side character of your happiness, while his own heartache intensified.

Heeseung mustered a smile, trying to suppress the gnawing emptiness he felt inside. Is it okay for him to feel this way?

“I saw your signs; they made me play even better today,” Beomgyu giggled. Heeseung smiled, glad it helped him, even if it did just a bit.

He congratulated Beomgyu once again, his words filled with genuine admiration despite the turmoil within him. Deep down, he wanted to be the one who could sweep you off your feet, revel in the joy of your laughter, and share those intimate moments with you.

"Let's eat out!" you suggested enthusiastically once Beomgyu put you down from the twirl.

"I would love to, but maybe next time? Coach told me there's going to be a team dinner, and I don't want to miss that," Beomgyu explained with a slight pout.

Weird. Heeseung found it weird. Beomgyu rarely attended team dinners, despite being the ace player. The coach would always have to persuade him to join. Nevertheless, Heeseung pushed the thought aside and chimed in, "Aw, well, next time then?"

Beomgyu nodded in agreement, causing your frown to fade as you understood his commitment. "Alright, Gyu, make sure you eat plenty, okay? I'll go home with Hee."

As you turned to leave, Heeseung caught a fleeting glimpse of an indiscernible expression on Beomgyu's face. It was a mix of emotions that left Heeseung questioning his own perception. Was he imagining things, or was there something more to Beomgyu's look?

Maybe he was too tired from that game.

FIVE.

As Beomgyu's schedule became increasingly packed with various commitments, Heeseung couldn't help but notice how you sought comfort and companionship from him. While he enjoyed being there for you, a twinge of insecurity crept into his thoughts; sometimes he wondered if he was just a backup when Beomgyu wasn't available. However, he considered you his priority, so he let go of those thoughts.

"You won't believe what Beomgyu did today!" you exclaimed, frustration evident in your voice. You plopped right next to him, making him take off his headphones.

Heeseung tilted his head, giving you his full attention. "What happened?"

"He completely forgot about our plans again," you sighed, exasperated. "We were supposed to go to the movies, but he got caught up with his friends and didn't even bother to let me know. I checked his story, and he’s having fun with them. It's like I'm not even a priority."

Heeseung frowned sympathetically. "I'm sorry to hear that. It must be really frustrating."

You nodded, grateful for his understanding. "Yeah, it is. I mean, I know he's busy, but it hurts when he constantly lets me down. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a second option."

And that’s what he feels whenever you hang out with Beomgyu. The feeling of being considered the second-best option for such a long time weighed heavily on him. He wondered if you could truly comprehend his perspective and the emotions he grappled with every day.

"I understand more than you know," he replied softly, his voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability. "Sometimes, it can be really tough feeling like you're not the first choice. But please remember, you're incredible, and anyone would be lucky to have you as their priority."

You’d definitely be lucky, but he wouldn’t be. He considered you his number one, but did you? Definitely not.

"You know, Heeseung, sometimes I just don't understand Beomgyu." You sighed, frustration evident in your voice. "He can be so oblivious to my needs and feelings. It's like he's always caught up in his own world."

Heeseung nodded sympathetically, his gaze fixed on you. "I get it. Relationships can be complicated, and it's normal to have ups and downs. But remember, communication is key. Have you talked to him about how you feel?"

You sighed again, running a hand through your hair. "I've tried, but sometimes it feels like he doesn't really listen or take my concerns seriously. It's frustrating."

Heeseung's expression softened, and he reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I understand how important it is to feel heard and understood. If you ever need someone to talk to, you know I'm here for you, right? Your happiness matters to me."

A small smile formed on your face as you looked at Heeseung. "Thank you, Heeseung. I'm really grateful to have you as my friend. You always know how to make me feel better."

Heeseung smiled back, his eyes filled with a mix of fondness and longing. "That's what friends are for, right? I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Just friends, nothing more.

Heeseung, wanting to alleviate your disappointment, mustered the courage to offer a solution. "Hey, if you don't want those movie tickets to go to waste, I could go with you instead. We can make it a fun outing, just the two of us." He tried his best to sound cheerful, hoping to turn the situation around and spend quality time with you, even if it meant setting aside his own feelings.

You looked at Heeseung, surprise evident in your eyes. "Really? You'd go with me?"

Heeseung nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Of course. I wouldn't want those tickets to go to waste, and besides, it'll be fun. We can grab some snacks, enjoy the movie, and have a great time together."

A mixture of gratitude and excitement washed over you as you realized you wouldn't have to miss out on the movie after all. "Thank you, Heeseung. That means a lot to me. I'm really looking forward to it."

Heeseung's smile widened, but deep inside, he couldn't help but wish it was more than just a friendly outing. Nevertheless, he pushed those thoughts aside, determined to make the most of the time he would spend with you.

It was time. Heeseung stood outside the theater, waiting for you to join him. He couldn't help but feel a mix of nervousness and anticipation. It was just a movie outing with a friend, but it felt significant to him.

As you approached, Heeseung's heart skipped a beat. You looked stunning, a smile lighting up your face as you greeted him. "Hey, Heeseung! Sorry for keeping you waiting."

Heeseung shook his head, a warm smile on his lips. "No worries at all. I'm glad you made it. Shall we go in?"

You nodded eagerly, and together you entered the theater. "I'll grab our tickets, and you can take care of the snacks," you suggested, prompting a nod from Heeseung before he headed towards the snack counter. He contemplated whether to get two small bags of popcorn or opt for a large bucket. Eventually, he settled on the large one, partly for its convenience in carrying, but deep down, he couldn't help but hope for subtle moments when your hands would touch while reaching for the popcorn.

Returning to you with his arms full of snacks, Heeseung couldn't hide his satisfied grin. You looked at the amount of snacks in awe, surprised he had gotten so much. Heeseung chuckled, realizing he might have gone a little overboard with the snacks. "Yeah, I might have gotten carried away with the popcorn. But hey, we won't go hungry during the movie!"

You giggled and took a handful of gummy worms, popping one into your mouth. "I appreciate your enthusiasm for snacks. You know me too well, Heeseung."

Heeseung couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness at your words. He loved how easily you could share these simple moments together. As you settled into your seats, Heeseung couldn't help but steal glances at you. The dimmed lights added a certain glow to your features, and he found himself captivated by your presence.

As the lights dimmed and the film started, you settled into your seats, passing the snacks between you. During the movie, there were moments when your hands brushed against each other while reaching for the snacks, bringing a subtle thrill to Heeseung.

You both shared a lighthearted laugh, enjoying the anticipation of the movie ahead. Throughout the movie, Heeseung laughed at the funny scenes, sharing popcorn and exchanging comments with you. He enjoyed the easy conversation, the shared moments of laughter, and the shared snacks. It felt comfortable and familiar, yet a part of him longed for something more.

As the credits rolled and the lights came up, you turned to Heeseung with a satisfied smile. "That movie was amazing! Thanks for the snacks, Heeseung. You always know how to make things more enjoyable."

Heeseung smiled warmly at you, feeling a sense of contentment. "I'm glad you liked it. It was my pleasure, really."

Leaving the theater, you walked side by side, engaged in lively conversation about the movie. Heeseung couldn't help but think about how wonderful it would be if these outings were more than just friendly gestures. But for now, he cherished every moment spent with you, silently hoping that one day the line between friendship and something more would blur.

"My Uber is about to arrive," you announced, glancing at your phone to check for updates.

"Alright," Heeseung nodded briskly.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Thank you so much for keeping me company today." You expressed your gratitude, a genuine smile lighting up your face as you waved goodbye.

Heeseung waved back, watching you as you walked away. The chilly air nipped at his cheeks, but a warmth spread through his being. It wasn't just the physical warmth he sought, but the warmth that came from being in your presence, even for a short while.

As he strolled along with his hands tucked in his pockets, he couldn't help but reflect on the day's events. The shared laughter, the moments of closeness, and the genuine connection he felt with you brought a sense of fulfillment that transcended the wintry weather. He couldn't deny the happiness that blossomed within him, fueling his hope for a future where he could be more than just a friend in your life.

With each step, Heeseung carried the flickering flame of his feelings, knowing that one day he would have to summon the courage to illuminate the truth and reveal the depths of his affection and desire. Until then, he treasured the memories made and the moments shared, cherishing the warmth that enveloped him as he embarked on his journey towards an uncertain but hopeful tomorrow.

All he could do was hope. And that hope was ignited just because of today.

SIX.

Five months into the school year, the weird nature of your relationship with Beomgyu continued. The on-again, off-again pattern left you feeling confused and hurt. Sometimes he would be present, acting as if nothing had happened, only to suddenly vanish without a warning. It was a rollercoaster of emotions that took its toll on your heart.

Throughout it all, Heeseung stood by your side, silently witnessing your pain. He despised seeing you upset, especially over someone who claimed to be your lover. He wanted to be the one who could bring you stability and happiness—the person you could rely on without fear of abandonment.

"I don't understand why he keeps doing this to you," Heeseung expressed with a mix of frustration and concern. "You deserve so much better—someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve."

You looked up at Heeseung, grateful for his unwavering support. "I don't know, Hee. I keep holding onto the hope that things will change and that he'll finally commit and be there for me. But it's exhausting."

Heeseung reached out, gently rubbing his hand on your back. “You know, it’s okay to reconsider your relationship with him.”

As tears welled up in your eyes and you buried your face in your knees, you confessed, "I know, Hee. Love doesn't just vanish easily. Despite everything, I still have feelings for him. You know, I still love him."

Heeseung's heart shattered, resonating with your pain, though you remained unaware of his own hidden emotions.

“Yeah…love doesn’t disappear easily, no matter the obstacle someone could face,” he replied, forcing a bitter smile, careful to conceal his own feelings that mirrored yours.

Heeseung's words caught you off guard, and you looked up at him, wiping away your tears. "What do you mean?"

Heeseung hesitated for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I mean, sometimes we hold onto love even when it hurts us, even when we know deep down that it may not be the best thing for us. It's difficult to let go, especially when our hearts are involved."

You furrowed your brows, trying to understand his cryptic message. "Are you...talking about me and Beomgyu?"

Don’t slip up, Heeseung.

Heeseung sighed, his gaze filled with empathy. "I'm just saying that sometimes we need to prioritize our own happiness and well-being. Love should bring us joy and fulfillment, not constant pain and uncertainty."

Why was his love for you hurting him instead?

You nodded slowly, the weight of his words sinking in. "I guess you're right. It's just hard to let go of something that meant so much to me."

Whew, he escaped that easily.

Tears welled up in your eyes once again, but this time they were tears of gratitude. "Thank you, Heeseung. Thank you for being there for me and helping me see things more clearly."

Heeseung gave you a warm smile, his heartache masked by genuine concern. "Anytime, YN. I'll always be here for you, supporting you every step of the way. Just please talk to him.”

“I’ll try.” You see him offering a hug, which you gladly accept. You felt comfortable in his embrace, feeling the tension in your body disappear.

You felt better, while someone else watched you two in anger.

It was Beomgyu. Why? He doesn’t even know.

Beomgyu hurriedly approached, his hand reaching out to grab your arm.

"What the heck, Gyu?" you exclaimed, caught off guard by his sudden action.

"Let's have a conversation," he said urgently.

"Out of nowhere?" you questioned, puzzled by his timing.

"Isn't that what you've been asking for?" Beomgyu retorted, his voice tinged with frustration.

Yeah, but after five fucking months?” You scoffed, not believing the words coming out of his mouth.

“Now, I've been distant, and I apologize for that. I've been trying to figure things out, but it's not fair to you. I don't want to string you along if I'm not sure about us anymore."

A mix of frustration and sadness welled up within you. "So, what are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?"

Beomgyu sighed, his gaze falling to the ground. "I... I don't know. I’m not saying that. I need some time to think and to sort through my feelings. That’s why I keep telling you to talk to me." Frustration starts to get to him, still keeping his grip on your arm.

Heeseung, who had been standing nearby, watching the tense exchange, couldn't bear to see you in pain. He stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on your back. "Hey, it's going to be okay," he reassured softly, his voice filled with empathy.

"Hey, let's step away from this for a moment," he urged gently, trying to diffuse the situation.

Beomgyu's eyes narrowed, his anger turning towards Heeseung. "What's your problem? Stay out of this!" He snapped, his voice laced with frustration.

Heeseung stood his ground, his voice steady. "I care about her, and I can't stand by and watch her get hurt. We both want what's best for her, don't we?"

Beomgyu clenched his fists, his expression filled with defiance. "Don't act like you know what's best for her. She's my girlfriend, not yours!"

Heeseung's gaze hardened, his protective instincts kicking in. "What’s wrong with you? It's not about me or you. It's about her happiness, and right now, she's hurting. So, I'm going to make sure she's okay."

Beomgyu's face hardened, a stubborn determination replacing his previous uncertainty. He loosened his grip, gritting his teeth. "Fine, but this isn't over. We'll talk, just not now."

As Beomgyu walked away, leaving you and Heeseung behind, the weight of the situation settled heavily on you. But with Heeseung by your side, offering his unwavering support, you found a glimmer of strength amidst the pain.

With determination in his eyes, Heeseung gently tried to guide your mind away from the heated argument, leading you to a quieter and more peaceful space where he could offer you the comfort and support you needed.

“You okay?” Heeseung asked, looking at your not-okay state.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You said, lying straight through your teeth. You were not fine; how could you be?

“It’s okay; just be honest with me,” Heeseung said, sitting beside you.

Be honest. It's ironic for him to be saying such a thing. Was he being honest with you? Definitely not, but he argues that it’s for the greater good.

“I don’t think me and Beomgyu are going to work out,” you sighed, running your hand through your hair. “I think it’s over.”

“Oh,” Heeseung says, the only word slipping out of his mouth.

Heeseung's heart ached with conflicting emotions. He questioned his own motives, wondering why he still felt compelled to pursue you despite knowing that you loved Beomgyu so deeply. The weight of seeing you sad and torn between two people crushed him, as he couldn't bear the thought of causing you any more pain.

"Why am I even doing this?" Heeseung thought to himself, doubt lingering in his mind. "What's the point of chasing someone who will soon be my best friend's ex and still has feelings for him?"

Yet, as he contemplated these questions, he couldn't ignore the fact that you were his best friend, someone he cared deeply about. The bond you shared was special, and he cherished every moment spent together. It was that connection that made him question if he should listen to his doubts or follow his heart.

Heeseung wrestled with his conflicting feelings, torn between his desire for your happiness and his own emotional well-being. The uncertainty gnawed at him, leaving him uncertain of the path he should take.

Would he rather be a supporting character or a second love interest that gets pushed away?

The answer was clear. Maybe it was time to question his doubts—his doubts about pursuing you.

Maybe.

SEVEN.

"You're telling me you two got back together again?" Heeseung asked, trying to hide his disappointed tone.

He had hoped that things would have changed, that you would have realized your worth and moved on from the tiring relationship with Beomgyu. But hearing that you had reconnected with him only deepened his disappointment.

Heeseung's heart sank as he braced himself for the answer, knowing that it would confirm his fears. Yet he couldn't help but hope for a different outcome—a chance for him to finally express his true feelings for you.

"Yeah, we worked things out," you replied, oblivious to the underlying emotions in Heeseung's voice. “He apologized and got me gifts.”

Heeseung forced a smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm glad to hear that," he said, his voice sounding a bit strained.

You looked at him, sensing something was off. "Hee, are you okay?"

Heeseung quickly composed himself and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just... surprised, I guess. But if you're happy, that's what matters."

You reached out and touched his arm, concern evident in your eyes. "Thanks, Hee. You're such a good best friend."

Best friend. The words echoed in Heeseung's mind, causing a wave of frustration and longing. He despised how effortlessly those two words rolled off your tongue, unaware of the impact they had on him. It felt like a constant reminder of the boundary he could never cross and the role he would forever play in your life.

Heeseung yearned for a time when he could fully embrace being your best friend without the conflicting emotions that accompanied it. He wished he could accept his title and find contentment in it, but his heart yearned for more. The desire to be more than just a friend consumed him, even as he fought against it.

Every time he heard those words, a mixture of hope and pain washed over him. He longed for a day when he could call you more than just a friend, when he could openly express his true feelings without fear of jeopardizing the precious bond you shared.

"Yeah, your best friend," Heeseung replied through gritted teeth, his tone laced with a mix of bitterness and resignation. He tried his best to mask his true feelings and make it seem like he was content with being just that. But inside, his heart ached with unspoken longing and unfulfilled desires.

He will just continue what he’s best at. So he played the part, pretending that being your best friend was enough, even when it tore him apart inside. He swallowed his own yearnings, hiding them beneath a facade of acceptance, all the while silently hoping that one day you would see him in a different light.

"You want to go to the party tonight?" You asked, attempting to shift the mood and bring a spark of excitement into the conversation.

"What party?" Heeseung inquired, his tone slightly disinterested.

"You know, Mark's party. I heard his parents left for work again," you explained, hoping to pique his interest.

Heeseung hesitated for a moment before responding, "I'll think about it."

"Come on, it's our final year! Let's loosen up a bit and have some fun," you urged, hoping to persuade him to join in on the festivities.

Heeseung looked at you with a mix of uncertainty and longing. He wanted to be there for you, to make you happy, but the idea of attending a party where he might have to witness you with someone else was a painful thought. Nevertheless, he couldn't bear to let you down.

"Alright, I'll go," he finally agreed, mustering a smile despite the conflicting emotions swirling within him. "Let's make it a memorable night."

"Hey Heeseung, are you ready—" Sunghoon's voice interrupted Heeseung's frantic search as he opened the door. Sunghoon's eyes widened at the sight of the chaotic scene in Heeseung's room. Clothes were strewn all over the place, making it nearly impossible to find a suitable outfit.

"Heeseung, what the hell?" Sunghoon exclaimed, bewildered by the mess.

Heeseung sighed, feeling a mix of frustration and self-doubt. "I don't know, Sunghoon. I just... I want to find the right outfit, you know? Something that makes me feel good and confident."

Sunghoon shook his head, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "You're overthinking it, Heeseung. Trust me, you always look great, no matter what you wear. Just pick something and let's go have some fun."

"Who are you trying to impress?" Sunghoon chuckled, enjoying the sight of his friend's newfound determination.

You. He was trying to impress you tonight. Heeseung hesitated for a moment, the truth lingering on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn't bring himself to admit it, not even to his closest friend. "No one," he replied, trying to play it off casually.

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, seeing through Heeseung's response. "You're a big liar," he teased. "But fine, I'll help you out. Let's find you something that will turn heads."

As they sifted through the clothes together, Sunghoon offered suggestions and shared his fashion expertise. Heeseung appreciated his friend's support and the distraction it provided from his own conflicted feelings. Deep down, he knew that impressing you shouldn't be his main priority, but he couldn't help but want to stand out in your eyes.

After a few moments of searching, he pulled out a well-fitting black button-down shirt. Its sleek design and subtle pattern added a touch of sophistication.

He paired the shirt with dark black jeans that hugged his frame just right, emphasizing his slender figure. The jeans were slightly distressed, giving off a cool and effortless vibe. Heeseung knew they were one of your favorite pairs, and he hoped you would notice.

To complete the ensemble, he opted for a pair of black shoes that added a simple touch to the overall look. They were comfortable yet stylish, striking the perfect balance between casual and put-together.

As Heeseung looked at himself in the mirror, he couldn't help but feel a surge of confidence. The outfit accentuated his best features, highlighting his charm and charisma. He knew he looked good, and he hoped it would catch your attention.

As they finally settled on an outfit, Heeseung looked at himself in the mirror, feeling a newfound sense of confidence. Sunghoon grinned, giving him a thumbs up. "Looking good, Heeseung. Now let's go and make some memories tonight."

Heeseung nodded, appreciating Sunghoon's friendship more than ever. "Thanks, Sunghoon. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Sunghoon shrugged with a playful smirk on his face. "Hey, that's what best friends are for, right?” Sunghoon and Heeseung walk out, walking side by side, getting ready to go to Mark’s house.

And as expected, Heeseung stepped into the vibrant atmosphere of the party, immediately engulfed by the pulsating beats of the music and the contagious energy of the crowd. The room was filled with colorful lights, illuminating the main room, where people were already showing off their moves.

He glanced towards the backyard, where Mark's large swimming pool became the center of attention. Laughter and splashing sounds filled the air as people cannonballed into the water or lounged on inflatable floats, enjoying the refreshing respite from the heat.

The party was in full swing, with friends mingling, sharing laughter, and creating memories. Heeseung navigated through the lively crowd, feeling a mix of excitement and curiosity. He wondered if you were already there, enjoying the festivities and embracing the carefree spirit of the night. As they continued walking, they spotted Mark, who soon noticed their presence.

"Hey, look who decided to grace us with his presence!" Mark exclaimed, pulling Heeseung into a friendly hug. "I didn't expect you to show up, man."

Sunghoon chuckled, joining in the teasing. "Yeah, I thought Heeseung was allergic to parties or something."

Heeseung shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Well, you know how it is. It's senior year; I've got to make some memories."

Deep down, he knew he was lying. The real reason he had decided to come was you. Only your presence could have convinced him to step out of his comfort zone and immerse himself in the party atmosphere. But he wasn't ready to share that truth just yet.

Sunghoon chuckled, nudging Heeseung playfully. "Yeah, right. We all know there's a secret motive behind your sudden interest in parties."

Heeseung shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Maybe I just wanted to let loose and have some fun."

Mark grinned, oblivious to the unspoken tension. "Well, you came to the right place! Let's make some unforgettable memories tonight!"

As the music thumped in the background and the laughter of partygoers filled the air, Heeseung's gaze scanned the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. He couldn't help but wonder how the night would unfold and if fate would bring them closer or keep them apart. But for now, he pushed those thoughts aside, determined to enjoy the moment and make the most of the night ahead.

As Heeseung scanned the room, his gaze landed on you, and time seemed to stand still. You were in the midst of a joyous conversation, your laughter filling the air. In that moment, it felt like the entire party faded into the background, and there was only you, illuminated by the soft glow of the lights. He couldn't help but be captivated by your beauty, his breath catching in his chest.

Your smile reached your eyes, and the sight of it sent warmth surging through Heeseung's veins. He felt a mix of emotions stirring within him—admiration, longing, and an unspoken desire. In that instant, he couldn't deny the strong pull he felt towards you and the way your presence had the power to brighten his world.

Heeseung's heart skipped a beat as he took a step closer, drawn to you like a magnet. However, he quickly reminded himself to maintain his composure. Tonight was about having fun, not revealing the depth of his feelings. With a subtle smile, he made his way towards you, ready to just see you up close. He left Sunghoon with his group of friends, walking towards you.

"Hey Hee," you replied, your smile growing wider as you took in his appearance. Something about him seemed different tonight, and you couldn't help but notice how attractive he looked. His hair fell casually over his forehead, giving him a slightly tousled yet effortlessly stylish look. The partially unbuttoned shirt revealed a glimpse of his collarbone, adding to his overall appeal. As he settled down beside you, you couldn't help but appreciate his presence, though a voice in your head scolded you for even thinking about your best friend in such terms.

You shook off the fleeting thought, reminding yourself of your friendship. It was only natural to notice when someone you cared about looked good, right?

"You look great," Heeseung complimented, his words barely audible over the blaring music.

"Hm?" you tried to respond, straining to hear him amidst the noise.

Seeing your confusion, Heeseung leaned closer, his lips almost brushing against your ear as he whispered, "You look pretty tonight."

His words sent an unexpected shiver down your spine, and you couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth spread through your body. This wasn't the usual Heeseung you knew. There was something different about him tonight—a newfound confidence that intrigued and captivated you.

Lost for words, you simply smiled in response, appreciating the unexpected compliment. “You too,” you whispered in his ear, gaining a grin from Heeseung. He’s glad he looks great tonight; nobody else’s opinion matters now but yours.

"Where's Beomgyu?" Heeseung couldn't help but inquire, his curiosity getting the better of him as he searched the crowded party for any sign of his friend.

"He's off with his own friends. We decided to go our separate ways for the night," you replied with a hint of disappointment in your voice.

"Why?" Heeseung pressed further, genuinely wanting to understand the dynamics between you and Beomgyu.

You shrugged, a mixture of frustration and resignation evident on your face. "I don't know. He's got some friends he wants to impress, I guess."

Heeseung's heart sank a little at your response, knowing that you deserved better than being left behind for others. At that moment, an idea crossed his mind, and he mustered up the courage to offer it.

"Well, if he's not around, I can keep you company for the night," he suggested, his voice laced with a mix of sincerity and a hint of nervousness. Deep down, he hoped that you would accept his offer and give him a chance to show you a different kind of friendship—one that was unwavering and genuine.

You looked at Heeseung, surprised by his offer. A part of you wanted to decline, fearing that it could complicate your friendship. But another part of you, one that craved his unwavering presence, couldn't help but consider the idea.

A smile played on your lips as you nodded. "I'd love that, Hee. It's always a good time with you."

Heeseung's face lit up with a mixture of relief and joy. He couldn't hide the happiness that swelled within him at your acceptance. For a moment, he forgot about his own unrequited feelings, focusing instead on making sure you had a memorable night.

As the night unfolded, you and Heeseung found yourselves engaged in lively conversations, laughter, and shared moments that reinforced the deep bond between you. Heeseung went out of his way to ensure you felt valued and appreciated, his unwavering support evident in every word and action.

You couldn't help but notice how different Heeseung was tonight—more confident, more present. And you found yourself seeing him in a new light, appreciating the depth of his friendship and the genuine care he had for you.

As the party continued, you found yourself losing track of time, completely immersed in the connection you shared with Heeseung. The music blared in the background, but it seemed distant compared to the warmth and comfort you found in each other's presence.

Eventually, the night began to wind down, and the party started to thin out. You and Heeseung found a quieter corner where you could talk without shouting over the music. The atmosphere became more intimate, and the energy between you grew palpable.

You and Heeseung found a tranquil spot outside, settling down on the grass and gazing up at the starry sky. The twinkling stars illuminated the darkness, creating a serene backdrop for your conversation.

A peaceful silence enveloped the two of you, offering a respite from the blaring music that still echoed from the party house. The ambiance felt both calm and tinged with a hint of melancholy, causing Heeseung's thoughts to revolve around you. Concern for your well-being mingled with his own personal worries, making him feel an unexpected surge of boldness.

Under the night sky, as the gentle breeze swept through, Heeseung found himself captivated by the moment. The weight of his emotions and the intensity of his connection with you compelled him to embrace the vulnerability of the present.

Heeseung's gaze shifted from the stars to your face, his eyes filled with a mix of tenderness and determination. It was as if the night had emboldened him to confront the unspoken feelings that had long resided within his heart.

"I love you," Heeseung confessed, his voice carrying a mix of apprehension and sincerity.

Your eyes widened in surprise, caught off guard by his sudden declaration. Initially, you brushed it off as his casual sentimentality, assuming he was merely in one of those cheesy yet cringe-worthy moods. After all, it was dark outside, and the night had a way of making people more introspective and sentimental.

For Heeseung, it was a rare opportunity to release the weight of his emotions. It was the only moment he could unburden himself, knowing that you wouldn't suspect anything beyond a platonic exchange. It was his chance to express his true feelings without you realizing the depth of his affection.

You smiled, patting him gently on the back and reciprocating his words with a lighthearted tone. "I love you too, Heeseung."

But within Heeseung, a bittersweet sensation lingered. Why did your response feel so effortless, devoid of any romantic intentions? Why did those words, which he had longed to hear, now taste somewhat bitter?

He had always imagined that such sweet words, exchanged between two people in love, would bring joy and contentment. But instead, they evoked a sense of unease within him—a mixture of guilt and confusion.

"Are you okay, Hee?" you asked, concern evident in your voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry," Heeseung replied, offering a small smile to conceal the turmoil he felt inside. It was another lie slipping effortlessly from his lips, mirroring the ease with which you had spoken those words to him.

At that moment, Heeseung realized that you both shared something in common. The ability to utter those words without fully grasping their weight or the impact they carried. And perhaps, in that shared understanding, he found solace, alleviating some of the guilt that had consumed him.

EIGHT.

"It's been six months. College application responses are starting to come back, and it's making this whole month nerve-wracking," you confessed to Heeseung, your voice filled with anxiety. Once again, Beomgyu wasn't present, despite his promises. At this point, you had learned not to get your hopes up anymore.

"I'm sure your dream school will accept you. Results come out today, right?" Heeseung reassured you, trying to offer you some comfort.

"Yeah, for some schools. But I'm nervous about us not being able to get into the same school," you admitted, your worry palpable.

Heeseung shared the same fear. The thought of being separated from you, especially during such a crucial time in your lives, weighed heavily on his mind. Yet he never wanted to sever ties with you. You had made a promise to always stick together, no matter what obstacles you faced.

"Well, we're all going to pursue different professions, aren't we?" Heeseung reasoned, hoping to ease your concerns.

"I guess... God, it's almost time," you muttered, feeling the tension build as the moment of truth approached.

"Do you want to check alone?" you asked, contemplating whether you should face the results on your own.

"We can check our emails together to see if we get a response back," Heeseung suggested, offering to share the moment with you.

"That sounds good. Let's sit outside," you agreed, seeking solace in the open air.

"Heeseung, it's telling me to check my portal. Oh my god!" you exclaimed, feeling a surge of panic as you settled down.

Heeseung, who hadn't received any notification, calmly replied, "Oh, I didn't get anything yet. Just go check."

Nervously, you took a deep breath, your palms sweaty and your legs trembling. This was your dream school, and the anticipation was almost unbearable.

"Okay, I'm logging in," you announced, mustering the courage to face the outcome.

You entered your login information, your heart pounding with each key pressed. Heeseung watched you intently, sharing your anxiety even though his own fate was yet to be revealed.

As the webpage loaded, time seemed to slow down. The anticipation was palpable as you navigated to the admissions section. Your eyes scanned the screen, searching for the decisive message that would determine your future.

And there it was—a notification in bold letters, your heart skipping a beat. You clicked on it, and a mixture of relief and joy washed over you as you read the words: "Congratulations! You have been accepted to your dream school."

Tears of happiness welled up in your eyes, and you turned to Heeseung, beaming with excitement. "Heeseung, I got in! I can't believe it!"

Heeseung's face lit up with a genuine smile as he watched you get all excited.

"That's amazing! I knew you would make it. Congratulations!" He exclaimed, pulling you into a tight hug.

"I can't believe it! I got in!" you exclaimed, your eyes gleaming with joy.

“That was all you, YN! I’m so proud of you!” Heeseung beamed, a proud smile spreading across his face.

You couldn't contain your excitement, and a wide grin adorned your face. "Thank you, Heeseung! I'm so grateful for your support throughout this journey."

As the realization of your achievement settled in, you couldn't wait to share the news with your parents. Their pride and joy would only amplify the happiness you were feeling at that moment.

Curiosity filled the air as you turned to Heeseung, eager to know the outcome of his own college application. "Have you received your results yet?"

Heeseung shook his head with a hint of anticipation. "Not yet, but I'm staying hopeful. Now, let's focus on celebrating your success. How about we grab a meal together? It's my treat for your incredible achievement."

Your heart swelled with gratitude, touched by Heeseung's gesture. "That sounds wonderful, Hee! Thank you for always being there for me. I couldn't have done it without you."

As you entered your favorite restaurant, a sense of comfort washed over you. The familiar surroundings and inviting aromas instantly put you at ease. You settled into a cozy booth, ready to indulge in a well-deserved celebration.

Heeseung's words resonated with warmth as he encouraged you: "Order whatever you want, YN. Today is your day, and I want to treat you."

A smile played on your lips, appreciating his generosity and thoughtfulness. "Thank you, Heeseung. You're too kind."

Glancing at the menu, your eyes danced over the delectable options. From savory dishes to mouthwatering desserts, it was a tantalizing array of choices. You couldn't resist the temptation of your all-time favorite dish: savory pasta with creamy sauce and succulent grilled chicken.

"I think I'll go with the pasta," you declared, excitement bubbling in your voice.

Heeseung nodded, his own eyes scanning the menu. "Great choice! I'll have the same.”

While you excused yourself to use the bathroom, Heeseung's attention was drawn to the familiar chime of his phone. He retrieved it from his pocket and glanced at the screen, his heart skipping a beat when he saw the email notification. Curiosity piqued, he opened the email, his eyes scanning the contents anxiously.

As he read the message, a mix of emotions washed over him. The update from one of his chosen schools had arrived, bringing a surge of anticipation and nervousness. He couldn't help but feel a knot forming in his stomach, wondering what awaited him in that email.

With bated breath, he absorbed the words on the screen, his eyes darting across the lines. Time seemed to stand still as he processed the information, his heart pounding in his chest. As the realization sank in, Heeseung's eyes widened with a mix of astonishment and elation. He had been accepted into his dream school, the very place he had yearned to be since he was young. It was an incredible achievement, the culmination of years of hard work and dedication.

However, alongside his joy, a tinge of bittersweetness crept into his heart. The realization hit him that the school he had been accepted to was located in a different country, far away from where you would be pursuing your studies. The paths that once seemed intertwined were now diverging, leading in separate directions.

Heeseung couldn't help but feel a sense of longing and a pang of sadness at the prospect of being physically apart from you. The thought of not sharing the same campus, the same classes, and the same experiences together weighed heavily on his mind.

His mind raced with conflicting thoughts and emotions. On one hand, he was ecstatic about his acceptance and the opportunities that awaited him at his dream school. On the other hand, he grappled with the uncertainty of maintaining your close bond and the fear of growing distant due to the physical distance between you.

Is he just going to have to love you from a distance? Taking a deep breath, Heeseung reminded himself that change was a natural part of life. Sometimes, pursuing one's dreams meant making difficult choices and embracing new chapters, even if it meant temporary separation from loved ones. He knew deep down that both of you had your own unique paths to follow and that growth and new experiences awaited each of you.

As you returned to the table, his eyes met yours, and he mustered a smile, although a hint of sadness lingered behind it. He wanted to cherish every moment and every shared memory and support you in your own journey, even if it meant being physically apart.

As Heeseung observed your radiant smile, he couldn't bring himself to dampen your spirits on such a momentous day. It was your special day, and he wanted nothing more than to see you happy and free from worries. The thought of tears staining your cheeks again, especially after the pain you had endured over Beomgyu, tore at his heart.

He wrestled with his own emotions, torn between the desire to be by your side and the yearning to pursue his own dreams. It was a difficult decision to make, as his departure was never his intention. He had never wanted to leave you or add another departure to the list of loved ones who had left your side. Yet he knew deep down that he couldn't simply give up on his dream.

The opportunity that awaited him at his dream school was something he had longed for and worked tirelessly to achieve. It was a chance to grow, to learn, and to become the best version of himself. Heeseung understood that sacrificing his dream would only breed resentment and regret in the long run.

However, that didn't mean he would abandon you or sever the bond you shared. He made a silent promise to himself that, despite the physical distance, he would always be there for you, supporting you in every way possible.

Now, every time Heeseung catches a glimpse of you smiling, his heart will be torn into pieces. It was a painful reminder that he would soon no longer see you give him that smile. If Beomgyu wasn’t such a piece of trash, he would have something less to worry about.

NINE.

As Heeseung crossed off each day on his calendar with a red marker, a wave of sadness washed over him. It was a constant ache in his heart, a reminder of the remaining days he was going to be able to see you in person.

Whenever you visited and asked about his college acceptances, he would conceal his true feelings and claim that he was simply counting down the days until graduation. The lies weighed heavily on him, but he had become accustomed to masking his emotions from you.

You, on the other hand, were genuinely thrilled for him, believing that he would attend a school near yours. Even if you ended up at different schools, you were confident that your friendship would remain intact, envisioning moments where you could still crash at his place and keep in touch.

If only you knew the truth. If only you knew that a significant amount of time would pass before you would see each other again. It would be a separation so prolonged that the risk of forgetting each other lurked in the shadows. Heeseung couldn't fathom the thought of you slipping from his memory, but he wondered if the same held true for you.

Heeseung grappled with the daunting task of how and when to tell you about his upcoming departure. The weight of his secret pressed heavily upon him, and he knew he couldn't keep it hidden forever. But finding the right moment and method to reveal the truth was a challenge he wrestled with daily.

Should he plan a heart-to-heart conversation, choosing a quiet and intimate setting where he could lay bare his feelings? Or perhaps he should seize a spontaneous moment when emotions were running high and honesty seemed more accessible? Heeseung contemplated the various scenarios, each with its own set of risks and uncertainties.

He wanted to find the perfect balance between timing and your emotional state, ensuring that his revelation wouldn't overshadow any important events or milestones in your life. Heeseung wished for a moment when you could both be fully present, where he could express himself openly without the fear of disrupting the joy and happiness you deserve.

But as days turned into weeks, Heeseung's inner turmoil grew. The weight of his secret intensified, and the fear of losing you became more tangible. He knew that he couldn't delay the inevitable forever, yet the right words eluded him.

It was hard. Harder than he had expected.

But that was okay; he still had more time.

But clearly not enough.

TEN.

"I'm nervous," you chuckled, sitting under the familiar shade of the tree with Heeseung. It has become a regular spot for your daily hangouts, despite already spending so much time together every day.

Heeseung grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Why are you nervous? You've never been nervous around me before."

You shrugged, fidgeting with a blade of grass. "I guess it's just this weird mix of excitement and uncertainty. You know, once school ends, everyone is going to be going their own ways."

Heeseung leaned back against the tree trunk, observing you with a gentle gaze. “Yeah, that’s true. But you know, I've always got your back. Even if we get different professions.”

A faint smile crossed your lips as you appreciated his words of comfort. "Thank you, Heeseung. I'm really grateful to have you as my friend. I knew you would stick around."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," you chuckled, feeling the breeze brush your hair away as you sat on the grass with Heeseung.

What did Heeseung do to deserve you? Heeseung couldn't help but smile at your words, a mix of gratitude and self-doubt swirling within him. He looked at you, the person who had been there for him through thick and thin, the one who had always believed in him and supported him unconditionally.

“I could say the same for you.” Heeseung smiled bitterly, knowing he would soon hurt you, probably more than Beomgyu did.

"Say YN, what if I suddenly left without a word?" Heeseung's voice was filled with a tinge of sadness as he contemplated the question. The weight of his thoughts hung in the air, causing a ripple of unease to pass through you.

"All of a sudden?" You turned to face him, looking into his eyes with genuine concern.

He hesitated, his gaze shifting to the ground. "Yeah. What if?"

"You wouldn't." You stared off into the sky, listening to the birds chirp, as silence enveloped you both.

His heart clenched, feeling the need to break into pieces. Of course he wouldn't, but he had to. He watched as the leaves on the tree above rustled and gently fell, their descent mirroring his swirling emotions. He let out a bitter smile, unable to hide the pain in his eyes.

"Yeah, I wouldn't," he replied, his voice filled with a mixture of resignation and longing.

Your heart skipped a beat, a sudden surge of concern and confusion washing over you. Why did his question and response affect you so deeply? You looked at him, studying his face as the wind tousled his hair, adding a touch of ethereal charm. Your eyes met, and you found yourself momentarily captivated, unable to tear your gaze away.

Heeseung let out a soft laugh, a familiar sound that never failed to warm your heart. You felt a faint blush creeping onto your cheeks, the realization of your own emotions catching you off guard. Could it be possible that you were starting to develop feelings for your best friend? The thought seemed both exhilarating and terrifying, leaving you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions.

But no, you quickly dismissed the idea. It couldn't be. You and Heeseung were best friends and nothing more. The bond you shared was precious, and you were afraid to jeopardize it with romantic complications. It was just a passing moment, a fleeting thought that you would tuck away and bury deep within your heart.

"If you had to, I wouldn't mind. It's not like I could do anything," you continued, your voice tinged with a hint of resignation. "But promise me, Heeseung, promise me that you'll tell me, even if it's just a hypothetical scenario."

Heeseung's heart ached at your words, feeling the weight of your trust and acceptance. How could he break it to you? How could he shatter the harmony of your friendship with the painful truth? He wrestled with his own emotions—a battle between love and self-sacrifice.

"Yeah, of course," he replied, his voice carrying a mixture of longing and sadness. He let out a small sigh, a silent release of the turmoil swirling within him. Heeseung's frustration gnawed at him as he reflected on his missed opportunity to tell you about his impending departure. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had let another chance slip away, leaving him questioning his own hesitation.

"Why is it so hard to tell her?" Heeseung muttered to himself, his voice filled with a mix of disappointment and self-doubt. He knew he had valid reasons for his silence, but the weight of his unspoken truth weighed heavily on his conscience.

As he replayed the scenarios in his mind, he realized that fear had played a significant role in his inability to open up to you. Fear of your reaction, fear of hurting you, and fear of losing the precious bond you shared. It was easier to keep his feelings hidden to spare both of you the pain of saying goodbye.

But now, in the wake of yet another missed opportunity, Heeseung couldn't deny the growing frustration that bubbled within him. He understood that time was slipping away, and with each passing day, the impending separation became more inevitable. The longer he remained silent, the harder it would be to find the right moment to reveal his truth.

He had to let you know.

ELEVEN.

“So you’re telling me that after breaking up with your ex, you started having feelings for your best friend?” Yoon exclaimed over the phone.

You broke up with Beomgyu a week ago, knowing things didn’t work out the way they used to. Since then, you both kept your distance, only seeing each other when you both went to see Heeseung. It was a pain in the ass to see him everywhere, pretending nothing had happened between you two.

“Ugh, don’t say it like that.” You winced, collapsing onto your bed. “As bad as it sounds, yes, I think I did. Ever since that party at Mark’s house.”

“No wonder why Mark’s parties are known to start love,” Yoon said bluntly, not judging you in the slightest. “People have always said that.”

"Please, just stop," you groaned, fully aware of the precarious position you found yourself in. It was undoubtedly a complicated situation.

Despite the awkwardness and confusion, you couldn't deny the undeniable chemistry and connection you shared with Heeseung. It felt like the lines between friendship and something more had blurred, and you were left grappling with newfound emotions and conflicting thoughts.

Yoon's voice softened, understanding the complexity of the situation. "I know it's messy, but sometimes love works in mysterious ways. You can't control who you develop feelings for. Just be honest with yourself and with Heeseung. It may lead to something beautiful."

You sighed, grateful for Yoon's support and advice. “Thanks Yoon, but I don’t want it to be seen like I only said I liked him because I just want to get over him.”

“What if he likes you, though?” Yoon was clearly invested in your love life.

“No way—him liking me? Impossible.” You denied. There was no way he liked you for all these years.

“I have seen the heart eyes he gives you. If you weren’t so smitten with your boyfriend, maybe you would’ve seen that.” Yoon chuckled, amused at how obvious you could be.

"I mean, if he likes you and you like him, shouldn't that be easy?" Yoon remarked, her voice laced with a touch of exasperation.

You let out a playful eye roll in response, fully aware of the complexities surrounding your situation. "Come on, Yoon, my ex was our best friend. It's not that simple."

Yoon pondered for a moment before offering her perspective. "Well, maybe you should just tell him. That way, if you ever do start showing interest, he won't feel like he's intruding or being a homewrecker."

A wave of disbelief washed over you. "Yoon, I'm not planning to hit on him! Besides, I'm pretty sure Heeseung already knows about the breakup. We've been avoiding each other lately."

Yoon raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "And how sure are you about that?"

You paused, contemplating her question. "I'd say about 80 percent sure."

Yoon shook her head with a mischievous smile. "Not good enough, my friend. You need to be 100 percent certain."

An exasperated sigh escaped your lips as you playfully scolded her. "Oh, come on, Yoon. Can't you just trust me on this?"

Yoon grinned, refusing to back down. "Trust you? I trust you with a lot of things, but matters of the heart? Not so much."

You couldn't help but chuckle, appreciating Yoon's concern and her unwavering honesty. "Well, thanks for your vote of confidence, Yoon. But for now, let's just focus on our friendship drama, okay?"

Yoon nodded, a glint of mischief still evident in her eyes. "Fine, fine. But mark my words, you better figure out the Heeseung situation soon. Otherwise, I might just have to take matters into my own hands."

You playfully scolded Yoon over the phone, both of you laughing. Deep down, you knew Yoon had a point. The tangled web of emotions and unspoken desires between you and Heeseung couldn't be ignored forever. Just not right now.

It just might take a while for you to actually confess.

TWELVE.

Walking home together, you soon arrived at Heeseung's house. "Alright then, bye Hee! I can't stay over today; sorry about that."

Heeseung chuckled, finding your reaction amusing. "Don't worry about it. There's always a next time, right?"

Always a next time.

"Yeah, always," you replied with a smile, turning around to walk back home. As you made your way, your heart pounded in your chest, its rhythm matching the uncertainty and anticipation that filled your mind.

It was the seventh month of school, and the days seemed to be slipping away faster than either of you could have imagined. You were anxious about starting high school and stepping into a new chapter of your life, while Heeseung was burdened by the weight of when and how he should reveal his upcoming leave.

Heeseung fumbled with his keys, hastily unlocking the door to his house. As he stepped inside, he spotted Sunghoon lounging on the couch, munching on a bag of chips while engrossed in a TV show. “Hey, the least you could do is give me a heads-up when you crash at my place,” Heeseung quipped, his tone half-joking.

Sunghoon shrugged, his mouth full of chips. “Well, you always let YN pop up here almost every day. It seems like plain favoritism to me.”

Rolling his eyes, Heeseung tossed his bag next to the couch and made his way to the sink to wash his hands. “Just drop it, will you?”

Sunghoon continued munching, unfazed. “She’s not here today? I thought she was going to help you pack up. She always helps you out with that kind of stuff.”

Heeseung sighed, running the water over his hands. “No, she’s busy today. And well, I was packing, but I still have about two months left.”

Sunghoon chuckled with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yeah, wait until graduation sneaks up on you and leaves you scrambling to get everything done in time. It’ll be quite the sight to see.”

Heeseung shot his friend a playful glare, water droplets falling from his hands onto the sink. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sunghoon. Really uplifting."

Sunghoon laughed, reaching for another handful of chips. "Hey, it's all part of the experience, my friend. But don't worry; I'm sure you'll manage. Be glad we are both going to the same college.”

Heeseung couldn't help but crack a smile, the banter with Sunghoon easing his worries, if only for a moment. "Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Heeseung settled down next to Sunghoon, helping himself to a handful of chips. "You know, I'm still worried," he admitted, his voice tinged with concern.

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. "Why? What's bothering you now?"

Heeseung sighed, his gaze fixed on the television screen. "I still haven't told YN."

Sunghoon's eyes widened in surprise. "What? You still haven't told her? Why not?"

Heeseung leaned back on the couch, feeling a weight on his shoulders. "I don't know; it just slipped my mind, I guess. I've been so caught up in my own thoughts and worries that I haven't found the right moment to bring it up. It's becoming a problem."

Sunghoon paused for a moment, contemplating his response. "Look, Heeseung, I understand that you want to focus on yourself and your relationship with YN, but keeping something like this from her is not fair to either of you. She deserves to know what's going on, especially if it's something that might impact your future together."

Heeseung nodded, realizing the truth in Sunghoon's words. "You're right. I need to find the right time and place to have that conversation with her. It's just... I'm afraid of how she'll react."

Sunghoon placed a comforting hand on Heeseung's shoulder. "I get it, Hee. It's not easy to have these kinds of conversations, but you owe it to both yourself and YN to be honest and open. Trust in your friendship and the bond you share. She'll understand."

"I'm afraid to tell her in person, though.” Heeseung contemplated Sunghoon's advice, weighing the options in his mind. "You think writing a letter would be better?" he asked, seeking confirmation.

Sunghoon nodded thoughtfully. "Sometimes, putting your thoughts and feelings down on paper can help you express yourself more clearly. It also gives the other person time to process the information without feeling put on the spot. If you feel more comfortable expressing yourself through a letter, then go for it. The most important thing is that you find a way to communicate with YN honestly and openly."

Heeseung sighed, relieved to have Sunghoon's support. "I think you're right. Writing a letter will give me the chance to carefully choose my words and convey everything I want to say. It will also give YN the space to absorb the information and react in her own time."

Sunghoon smiled, his eyes filled with understanding. "I'm here for you, Heeseung. If you ever need someone to talk to or help you through this, I'm just a phone call away."

Heeseung nodded gratefully, appreciating his friend's support. With a renewed sense of purpose, he knew it was time to gather his thoughts and pour his heart out onto paper, hoping that the letter would convey the depth of his emotions and the difficult decision he had to make.

He just hoped he had the time to write about everything he felt.

THIRTEEN.

The two months had swiftly passed, catching Heeseung by surprise. He found himself now adjusting his cap anxiously, eagerly awaiting your arrival. Graduation day had finally arrived, a day he had looked forward to with a mix of excitement and trepidation, knowing that it would mark the beginning of a painful farewell.

Heeseung stood among his classmates, excitement and nervousness buzzing in the air. The graduation ceremony was about to begin, and he couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions coursing through him. The cap on his head felt oddly heavy, as if carrying the weight of the impending farewell.

As he glanced around, his eyes searched for you in the crowd. He knew you would be there, a constant presence throughout his high school journey. But today, it held a bittersweet significance. It marked the beginning of a new chapter in both of your lives, one that would take you on separate paths.

The minutes ticked by, and anticipation grew with each passing second. Heeseung's mind wandered, replaying the memories of your time together. The laughter, the tears, the shared secrets, and the unspoken bond between you. He couldn't help but wonder how things would change after today.

Suddenly, he spotted you in the distance, making your way through the crowd. His heart skipped a beat as you drew closer, your smile lighting up the room. Heeseung's gaze never wavered from you, his emotions swirling within him.

As you approached Heeseung, you noticed the slight tension in his expression. You reached out and gently squeezed his hand, offering him a reassuring smile.

"Hey, Hee, are you ready for this?" You asked, trying to break the tension.

Heeseung looked at you, his gaze filled with a mix of emotions. "Yeah, I am. It's just... bittersweet, you know? Graduation marks the end of an era for us."

You nodded understandingly. "I know what you mean. It's hard to believe that after today, things will change. But hey, we've always managed to stick together through everything. I’m sure we will be able to do that again when we are in college.”

Heeseung's hand held onto yours, his grip growing tighter. He felt a lump form in his throat, and the urge to let his emotions spill over threatened to overcome him. He desperately wished he could make you a promise, but the weight of an impending goodbye weighed heavily on his heart. He turned away, blinking rapidly, hoping to conceal the tears welling up in his eyes.

But you saw right through his facade, your intuition picking up on the hidden emotions he tried to hide. Your heart ached at the sight of his struggle, realizing the depth of his fear and the significance of your connection. The thought of losing someone as dear to you as Heeseung was unfathomable. The bond you shared was precious and irreplaceable. Who would ever wish for that?

Before you could offer your comfort to Heeseung, the commencement speaker took the stage, commanding the attention of the hushed crowd. Your hand remained firmly in his, a simple gesture of support that spoke volumes. Both of you turned your focus towards the front, listening intently to the words being spoken.

The speaker's voice filled the air, carrying a sense of inspiration and reflection. They spoke about the accomplishments of the graduating class, the challenges faced, and the bright futures that lay ahead. It was a moment of celebration and reflection, marking the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

As the speech continued, you stole a glance at Heeseung, taking in the mixture of emotions on his face. There was pride, tinged with sadness, as if he were already experiencing the weight of parting ways. You squeezed his hand gently, a silent reassurance that you were there beside him.

The speaker's words began to blur into the background as your mind wandered, reflecting on the journey you and Heeseung had taken together. From the countless memories shared to the unspoken understanding between you, your friendship has grown into something truly special.

As you sat there, surrounded by the buzz of graduation, your mind began to wander back to the memories you shared with Heeseung. The moments in class, the times you hung out, the events you attended together—they all flooded back, painting a vivid picture of your time together.

Each memory was intertwined with Heeseung's presence; his infectious smile and laughter were etched into every scene. The way his eyes crinkled into crescents when he laughed—that heavenly sound that never failed to bring warmth to your heart. It was in those moments that you realized something had shifted within you.

Fuck, you fell in deep. A surge of realization washed over you as you came to terms with your feelings. Maybe it wasn't just a passing fondness or friendship. Maybe, deep down, you have always liked Heeseung more than you realize. Perhaps it was hidden beneath the surface, waiting for the right time to reveal itself.

The thought of liking him, not just a little but a lot, was both exhilarating and terrifying. You couldn't deny the flutter of your heart whenever he was near, the way your smile widened when he was happy, or the pang of longing when you were apart. It all makes sense now.

How had you missed it before? Perhaps you had been too caught up in the comfort of your friendship, too afraid to acknowledge the possibility of something more. But now, as the truth unfolded before you, you couldn't ignore the depth of your feelings any longer.

As the ceremony continued, the realization settled within you, filling you with a mix of excitement and nervousness. Graduation marked not only the end of high school but also the beginning of a new chapter in your relationship with Heeseung. The question remained: would you have the courage to explore these newfound feelings and share them with him?

The answer was uncertain, but one thing was clear: the bond you shared with Heeseung was special, and it was worth exploring the possibility of something more. Graduation had become more than just a farewell; it had become a turning point, a chance to embrace the unknown and discover the depth of your connection with Heeseung.

With renewed determination and a sense of anticipation, you turned your attention back to the ceremony. As the crowd erupted into applause and the ceremony reached its climax, you couldn't help but steal a glance at Heeseung. His eyes met yours, and in that moment, you knew that whatever the future held, your feelings would guide you towards a path of truth and authenticity.

As the crowd erupted in cheers and applause, you joined your fellow graduates in turning your tassels, symbolizing the culmination of your high school journey. The air was filled with excitement and joy, and in that moment, everything seemed perfect.

But amidst the celebratory chaos, Heeseung's laughter pierced through the noise, drawing your attention. You turned, and there it was—the smile you adored, the one that never failed to make your heart skip a beat. His eyes met yours, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of emotion well up within you.

There was a tenderness in his gaze and a depth of affection that spoke volumes. It wasn't just your imagination playing tricks on you; he was looking at you with love in his eyes. The realization hit you like a wave, and a mixture of disbelief, hope, and overwhelming emotion washed over you.

Heeseung's tear-filled eyes mirrored your own, as if both of you were sharing an unspoken understanding. Heeseung's tears took you by surprise, and your heart ached at the sight of his distress. Concerned and wanting to offer solace, you closed the distance between you, gently placing a hand on his trembling shoulder.

"Don't cry, Hee," you whispered softly, your voice filled with genuine care. "Please, tell me why you're crying. What's wrong?"

Heeseung took a deep breath, trying to compose himself as he looked into your eyes. His voice quivered as he spoke: “It’s nothing, just us leaving high school.”

“Are you sure?” you asked worriedly, thinking there was more to it.

“I’m sure,” Heeseung whispered, his eyes slightly reddened. He reached out to retrieve something from his seat, clutching an envelope in his trembling hand.

"Promise me you'll wait a week before opening this, okay?" he pleaded.

"A whole week?" you questioned, a hint of impatience in your voice.

"I understand it feels like an eternity, but please trust me," he implored, his voice laced with sincerity.

Heeseung's request piqued your curiosity, and you nodded, agreeing to his peculiar condition. You took the envelope from his hand, holding it delicately between your fingers.

"I promise," you replied softly, your voice filled with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. "I'll wait a week before opening it."

Heeseung offered you a faint smile, his eyes still glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you, YN. It means a lot to me."

Heeseung extended his arms, inviting you into a warm embrace that felt both comforting and bittersweet. He held you tightly, as if trying to etch the memory of this embrace deep into his being. You reciprocated, wrapping your arms around his waist and matching the rhythm of his heartbeat with your own. In that moment, your connection felt unbreakable, and the world around you faded away.

You two finally graduated from high school and are off to start your new journeys in life.

FOURTEEN.

As each day passed, the presence of the unopened letter weighed heavily on your mind. Despite being occupied with new hobbies and family time, curiosity about its contents lingered in the back of your mind. Heeseung's absence during this time only fueled your anticipation, as you wondered what could be so important that he asked you to wait for a week before opening it. With each passing day, the envelope seemed to stare at you, silently urging you to unravel its mysteries.

After an entire week of anticipation, the time had come to open the letter. Excitement surged through your veins as you hurriedly made your way to your room, a sense of eagerness driving you forward. You located the envelope you had carefully stowed away in your drawer and settled yourself into a seat.

With a mix of excitement and nervousness, you took a deep breath and gently tore open the envelope, savoring the moment of anticipation. The sound of the paper crinkling echoed in the room, and you carefully extracted the contents from within. Your hands trembled slightly as you unfolded the letter, your eyes scanning the words written on the page.

Hi YN ^^ !

This is Heeseung after a week! I hope you waited patiently, just as you always do. I know you keep your promises, so I had faith in you. If you did wait, as I believe you did, thank you so much. Now, let me get straight to the point, as I know you prefer it that way.

First and foremost, I want to apologize. Writing this letter is challenging, but expressing my feelings this way feels easier than doing it in person. You hold a special place in my heart, and I felt it was crucial to share this with you. I trust you would have appreciated that. So…

YN, I like you. More than just a little, it could even be considered love. I have loved you from the very beginning. However, Beomgyu was fortunate enough to be the one by your side, taking away any chance I had. It hurt, but seeing your happiness with him eased some of the pain. Please don't blame yourself, as you had no way of knowing.

All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, even if it meant I would remain in the background. So what if I was just your best friend? It didn't matter, as long as I could see you smile. When he hurt you, it made it even more difficult for me to confess my feelings.

I had intended to tell you earlier, ever since Mark's party. Did you notice the hints of 'I love you'? Because I do, I really do. It was my attempt to confess—it didn’t work out as you didn’t pick up on it.

If feelings weren't already complicated enough, my college situation adds to the frustration. I have been accepted to a different school than yours. I'm sure you're aware of that, but there are some things you don't know. I got into one of my dream schools, but it's located out of state. This means I won't be able to see you ever again. Not for now, at least.

I'm sorry for dropping this news on you suddenly and for not telling you sooner. I didn't know how to, and I despise seeing you sad. Losing Beomgyu made it even harder for me to bring it up. So I kept it to myself, which eventually backfired.

I find it frustrating that I have to express myself through this letter rather than in person. I know I may come to regret this decision, but it's too late to turn back now.

By the time you read this, I will already be at the airport, ready to depart. If you're lucky, you might catch a glimpse of me, although I doubt it. I anticipate being too busy to stay in touch through texts or calls, which only adds to the complexity of my situation. So, I must bid you farewell with these words. Goodbye, YN.

Please remember to keep yourself happy and never let that radiant smile disappear. It pains me to see you without it. And always remember: I will never forget you. That is a promise I will keep. Please don't forget me either, okay?

YN, I'm sorry that we couldn't fulfill our promises. I hope that our paths will cross again in a few years. If you decide to stay here, I will do my best to return to you.

Thank you for everything. Know that I love you, my YN.

— Heeseung, your loser.

As you read the final part of the letter, panic welled up inside you, and your eyes began to well up with tears. He was leaving you? Now?

You couldn't believe that he had shouldered all of this alone for so long. The thought of him suffering in silence while seeing you with your ex filled you with regret.

You berated yourself for not realizing his feelings sooner, but there was no time for self-blame now. Without wasting another second, you rushed downstairs, determined to reach the airport as quickly as possible.

You had to reach him before it was too late.

You had to say goodbye properly, at least.

FIFTEEN.

With a racing heart and a sense of urgency, you dashed out of your house and into the bustling streets. The minutes felt like hours as you navigated through the crowded sidewalks, desperately trying to reach the airport. Your mind was consumed with thoughts of finding Heeseung before it was too late.

The airport loomed in the distance, and you pushed yourself to run faster, your breath becoming ragged. Sweating and panting, you hurried through the entrance, scanning the bustling terminal for any sign of Heeseung. The sea of unfamiliar faces only heightened your anxiety.

Frantically, you approached airport personnel, trying to inquire about departing flights and destinations. Time seemed to slip away, with each passing second intensifying your fear of missing him. You searched for any information that could lead you to Heeseung's departure gate, hoping to catch a glimpse of him before it was too late.

Finally, a helpful staff member directed you to the correct gate. With renewed determination, you weaved through the crowd, your eyes scanning every face, hoping to spot him among the travelers. The sound of boarding announcements echoed through the air, adding to the urgency of your mission.

As you reached the gate, your heart sank as you realized the boarding process was already underway. You desperately looked around, searching for a familiar figure and praying that you hadn't missed him. Time seemed to slow down, and your breath caught in your throat.

And then, just as you were about to lose hope, you spotted him. Heeseung stood near the gate, his gaze fixed on the departure screen. Relief washed over you, and you called out his name, your voice filled with a mix of emotions.

"Heeseung!" you exclaimed, your voice trembling with both relief and urgency.

He turned, a mix of surprise and joy flickering across his face as he saw you. "YN? What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice laced with a mixture of disbelief and hope.

You rushed forward, breathless and overwhelmed. "I couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye," you said, your voice filled with determination. "I had to find you."

A flicker of emotion danced in Heeseung's eyes as he took a step closer. "But I thought... I thought you read my letter."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you shook your head. "I did, but I couldn't just let you go without trying. I can't bear the thought of losing you."

Heeseung's expression softened, and he looked at you, tearing up. “I’m sorry, YN,” he whispered, feeling himself getting closer to you. “I never wanted to leave, but I had to. You’ll find someone better.”

"There's no one else who compares to you. I can't believe it took me this long to realize it, but Heeseung, I like you too, a lot."

"But aren't you still with Beomgyu?"

"No, we actually broke up a while ago. It's just you and me now, Hee. I've had some time to reflect, and I've come to realize that my feelings for you have always been there. I truly mean it. Do you still feel the same way?"

Heeseung felt a surge of relief hearing your response. Part of him wanted to say yes immediately, but another part held him back. He didn't want to rush into anything and risk hurting you. He needed time for himself.

Your words hung in the air, and he looked into your eyes with a mix of emotions. "YN, I appreciate your honesty and the courage it took to tell me how you feel. I do care deeply about you, and that hasn't changed. But with everything going on right now—my college plans, the uncertainty of the future—I want to take some time for myself before committing to a relationship."

Confusion and disappointment clouded your expression. "So, you're saying you don't want to be with me?" You asked, your voice quivering with a tinge of sadness and hurt.

Heeseung reached out, gently cupping your face with his hand. "No, that's not what I'm saying, YN. Please understand that it's not about not wanting to be with you. I do love you very much, but I’m scared the long distance wouldn’t work out for us. I want both of us to be ready for this.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you processed his words. "I understand, Heeseung. I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for. But please know that my feelings for you are genuine, and I hope that in the future, when the time is right, we can be together."

Heeseung tightened his grip on your hand, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Thank you for your understanding, YN. You mean the world to me.”

Heeseung's voice trembled slightly as he spoke, his eyes fixated on the sign of his imminent departure. "Could we share one last hug before I go?" His words were laced with a bittersweet longing, and you could hear the hint of pain in his voice.

The weight of his impending absence settled heavily upon you, and your heart ached with a mix of emotions. Tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded, and your own voice choked with emotion. "Yes, Hee... one last hug."

Closing the physical gap between you, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around Heeseung. The embrace was a mixture of comfort and farewell, as if trying to capture the essence of your bond in a single moment.

As you held each other, the weight of impending separation hung in the air. You could feel Heeseung's arms tightening around you, as if he wanted to etch this embrace into his memory. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in that poignant embrace.

His voice cracked with emotion as he whispered, "Thank you for being here with me, even until the very end."

Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over, as you held onto him just a little tighter. The realization that he would soon be gone made each second feel precious and fleeting.

You found solace in the warmth of the hug and the silent understanding that flowed between you. It was a silent exchange of love, support, and the acknowledgment that distance could never diminish what you shared.

Reluctantly, you released each other, gazing into each other's eyes. The unspoken words and emotions lingered in the air, a testament to the depth of your connection.

As you watched him walk away, the weight of his departure settled on you. But amidst the ache, there was a glimmer of optimism, a belief that this temporary farewell was just a chapter in your story together.

As Heeseung walked away, his mind filled with a whirlwind of emotions, and he felt the need to distract himself from the ache in his heart. Seeking solace in the familiarity of his phone, he decided to clear his inbox before boarding the plane. As he scrolled through his unread emails, one message caught his eye, causing his heart to skip a beat.

His eyes widened in shock as he opened the email, revealing an acceptance letter from your dream school—the very same college that had been his second choice. A mixture of disbelief, astonishment, and a tinge of bitterness washed over him as he read the words on the screen.

Once again, he had a chance he would have taken but missed.

He was too late.

💭 — hey you’ve reached the end 😊

ENHA PERM TAGLIST — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @tnyhees @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @chaewon-slays

LYFAD TAGLIST — @misoxhappy @vizstars @junzwrld @whippedforbeomgyu @rikisly

[claymoresword]

The Realm's Delight

Rhaenyra Targaryen x Velaryon Fem!Reader

Summary: The entire realm of suitors tripping over themselves to take Rhaenyra to wife and yet the only person she has eyes for is you.

Pairing: Rhaenyra Targaryen x Reader

Wordcount: 1k

Warnings: smut, nsfw, top!rhaenyra

Note: first and foremost reader and rhaenyra are cousins clearly so if that bothers u maybe skip this one :/

been putting off writing rhaenyra for so long bc her characterisation is a little intimidating to me but i got over that fear finally (i think)

anyway i hope u enjoy this silly little thing and let me know what u think!

(sorry for the inaccurate high valyrian i dont speak the language)

You let out a yawn, the sheer banality of this morning's affair was shocking to you.

At Rhaenyra's request you were sat by her side as she listened to petitions from various Lords from all over the realm offering her their hand in marriage.

You scowl at the man before you, he had been going on about the state of his castle. Nothing of interest to you and certainly not to the Princess. If this was his idea of wooing a lady only the gods knew how he would be like as a husband.

"Bisa vala iksis uēpkta than aōha kepa."

(This man is older than your father.)

Rhaenyra's face contorts in amusement at your remark before looking down at her hands, fiddling with her rings out of disinterest.

"Tell me, lord Dondarrion did you think my great grandmother was as beautiful as they say?"

The Princess interupts the man mid sentence and you shake your head in disapproval.

Rhaenyra..

"This was half a century ago Princess" Lord Dondarrion responds, perplexed.

"Yes it was."

The entire court erupts with laughter, you stiffle a grin yourself.

The older man sulks before walking away, being last to catch on the Princess making a mockery of him.

"Bona iksin unseemly, dārilaros."

(That was unseemly, princess.)

Rhaenyra glances at you with a sly smirk before rolling her eyes.

"Issa unseemly syt zirȳla naejot jiōragon nyke zȳhon ondos."

(It is unseemly for him to offer me his hand.)

Boremund glares at the two of you. You throw him an innocent smile, very well knowing he has no notion of what is being said between you.

"Next!" He exclaims.

You were itching for these proceedings to conclude.

A young boy, he must have been no older than 10 and 2. You recognised his sigil, house Blackwood.

You fail to suppress your amusement paired with disbelief, an involuntarily laugh escapes your lips.

Rhaenyra mirrors your baffled expression.

"And now a boy." The Princess says with an exasperated tone.

"The Blackwoods are an ancient house with a formidable army. In the riverlands they once ruled as Kings." Lord Boremund states.

Rhaenyra nods, she decides to give the poor boy a chance.

He goes on and recites a rather well rehearsed speech. Voice trembling but otherwise full of conviction.

A rictus, albeit kind smile painted on Rhaenyra's face.

She is not convinced.

"If chosen as your match Princess, your days shall be easy and night's safe under my protection."

The boy says and you purse your lips, trying not to laugh aloud once again.

"Protection? The Princess has a dragon you dumb cunt."

One of Rhaenyra's many suitors exclaims from the crowd and the boy unsheathes his sword, summoning a challenge.

You roll your eyes. Whether it be a man grown or a little boy, they are all the same.

"We're leaving." Rhaenyra stands, swiftly grabbing your hand. Taking your leave by her side and matching her strut.

"Ser Criston, send word to the harbor and have Captain Oswin ready the ship for you."

"Lady y/n and I will leave on Dragonback. We will see you back at King's Landing."

Criston glances at you in confusion and you only give him a shrug.

"Princess, we're due in Bitterbridge in 3 days time."

Rhaenyra stops in her tracks, You, Criston and his men followed suit. The Princess glares at the Knight and he opposes for a moment before relenting.

"Very well, Princess."

--

Rhaenyra grabs your arm again forcing you to pick up the pace. You eventually find yourselves alone in a dimly lit hallway far from the commotion in the other room.

"Nyra–" You yelp, as she expertly pushes you up against a wall her hand resting against it.

She leans in capturing your lips into a searing kiss. You melt at the feeling of her mouth against yours, simply aching for her.

Rhaenyra's hands find your waist as she disconnects your lips. You nearly shiver under her intense stare. She watches your chest heave as you attempted to catch your breath. You notice her breathing just as heavily.

"I have been dying to do that all morning."

She kisses you again, this time your hand finds the back of her neck pulling her impossibly closer.

"Istin emagon ao sir."

(I must have you now)

Rhaenyra shifts her attention to your neck, placing wet kisses against it. You don't suppress the shiver this time and immediately feel her grin form against your neck.

"Ēdā nyke mōrī bantis."

(You had me last night.)

You tease, hand moving to rest on her shoulder.

"One night is not enough" She whispers before taking your bottom lip in between her teeth tugging at it. She kisses you again.

"With you it is never enough."

Your mouth opens wider and her tongue comes into contact with yours. A moan spills out of you directly into her mouth and Rhaenyra hums against your lips.

A rush of arousal shoots directly to your core. Rhaenyra would have her way with you infront of the entire court if she could.

Gods, you wish she would.

Rhaenyra lifts up your thigh and runs her hand under your dress resting it on your ass. You wrap your leg around her waist reflexively giving her easier access. A glimmer in her eyes as she takes the opportunity to slip her hand underneath your smallclothes, she could feel how wet you were as she swipes a finger through your folds.

"Rhaenyra, what if someone sees us?" You whimper as you fight the urge to grind your wanting core against her hand.

She leans forward, placing another kiss on your neck before sinking her teeth into it earning a desperate moan from you.

"I really don't care." She whispers and you feel your legs grow weaker.

Rhaenyra presses her palm against your center and you feel yourself move against her hand wantonly. She dips a finger into your entrance and you let out another moan.

"Ah– Rhaenyra, wait please."

You wanted to kick yourself for stopping her but you couldn't risk getting caught, not here.

Rhaenyra sighs before removing her hand from underneath your dress completely and you stand up on both feet. Your hands don't leave her shoulders however, needing the support.

"Issa daor litse."

(It is not fair)

You breathe out, after a moment's silence.

"Hm?"

"Lo nyke sia vala nyke could gūrogon ao naejot Zaldrīzesdōron se mazverdagon ao ñuha ābrazȳrys."

(If I were a man I could take you to Dragonstone and make you my wife.)

"Nobody would question it."

You suddenly feel tears well up in your eyes. Rhaenyra notices and places a tender kiss on your forehead. You quickly wrap your arms around her.

The both of you stay like that for a beat.

"Then take me to Dragonstone." Rhaenyra simply states.

You scoff.

"Do not mock me, Princess."

Rhaenyra lets out a chuckle before stepping away from you, intertwining your fingers.

"No, it isn't fair."

She lifts your intertwined hands to her lips and plants a kiss on the back of your palm.

She guides you down the hallway and the two of you resume your walk.

"Ivestragī's jikagon lenton."

(Let's go home)

[milaisreading]

HIIII i love ur posts!!

Can i request a tired or mentally drained and at one point she breaks down on front of the bllk boys and all of them start panicking or trying to comfort her? 😭😅

I've been tired cuz exam season ( >:p ) "and i wanna cry but i physically can't ( idk why? ) and i want some comfort sooooo.... yeah!

if u dont wanna its cool :)

byeeee❤️❤️

Author: I FEEL U! I have been feeling soo drained and useless ever since my exams finished. Literally can't even relax during this small break I got:// Anyways, I hope u like this! Thanks for the request🩷

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

On any normal day (Y/n) didn't mind the chaos the boys caused her, after all they were under a lot of pressure, so she let them unwind while cleaning up after them. But today was not one of those days. Ever since the preparations for the next Blue Lock phase started she felt like they were more and more chaotic, while she was losing herself more and more in all of her work. The whole week was just a whole mess for her, from running errands for Anri and Ego, to breaking up fights between the teammates, she just felt like giving up. Right now, she was enjoying some quiet time in the lunch hall, just drinking some tea while fighting back sleep.

"This morning was so tiring...." She winced while grabbing her stomach. This morning, Rin accidentally kicked the football past the goal, which ended up hitting (Y/n) in the stomach. This caused a loud argument between the captain, Isagi and Barou. (Y/n) tried to stop them, but the fussing coming from Aryu and Hiori stopped her. She was annoyed that they didn't let her handle the issue, instead Kurona and Yukimiya ended up dragging her toward the infirmary.

Next thing that happened was an hour after the first incident. Karasu and Otoya were practicing with Bachira and Aryu, (Y/n) was as usually sitting and taking down the stats of the 4. Nothing unusual. Until Bachira decided to goof around with the football and yell at (Y/n) to watch him do some tricks. She admitted, they were impressive, and she commented on how great they are. Her comments along with the impressed look on her face caused the other three to start doing the same. The problem was that there were 4 of them and (Y/n) would have to look every 2 seconds at a different player, which did make her dizzy. Ego had noticed the commotion and yelled at all 5 of them to get back to training.

The 3rd incident happened barely an hour ago at lunch time. (Y/n) was sitting with Gagamaru, Isagi and Chigiri during the time, and while talking with the 3, she didn't notice an argument between Kunigami and Nagi unfolding. Everyone knew that (Y/n) barely ever ate her dessert, it had too much protein, so she would always left it to one of the players to eat. The dessert was pretty much the highlight of their day and the team agreed on whoever got the most points for the day, will get the sweet treat. This arrangement worked for 2 months, but today was the first time that two players were tied in points.

Kunigami and Nagi were both known to be level headed and somewhat apathetic towards everything, except when it comes to their manager and her attention,  that's when both are pretty much irrational.

"I think you seem to misunderstood me, Nagi. I am getting it today." Kunigami said, sending a tight smile towards the albino.

"And you seemed to have misunderstood me, Kunigami. But that pudding is mine."

"Calm down, you two." Niko rolled his eyes, still mad that he lost this time.

(Y/n), blissfully unaware of that whole agreement, noticed Gagamaru staring at her dessert. Knowing she won't eat it anyways, she decided to give it to him.

"Here. I won't eat. Hope you like strawberry flavor." She said, handing the surprised Gagamaru her food.

Chigiri and Isagi gasped silently. They shortly sent the flustered goalie jealous glares before looking at Kunigami and Nagi, who were staring degers at Gagamaru.

"A-are you sure?" The boy asked as (Y/n) nodded her head, smiling warmly at the boy.

"Of course-"

"Gagamaru, you traitor!" The two flinched and looked in surprise at Nagi.

"Ha?" (Y/n) panicked a little as she saw Kunigami and Nagi glaring at the duo.

"Keep it down, you two." Reo rolled his eyes, earning a nod from Tokimitsu.

"M-maybe we should let Gagamaru have-"

"Shut it, Tokimitsu!" Kunigami and Nagi yelled and then started arguing with Gagamaru. It eventually spread across the whole lunch room, and (Y/n) started twitching a little. Nobody was listening to her as she tried to calm it down. Was it the exhaustion or pure desperation to shut everyone up, but (Y/n) eventually started crying silently. Lost in her own thoughts while crying, she wasn't paying attention to what the rest were saying.

"I am the fastest. The dessert is mine!" Chigiri earned a show from Aryu at that.

"You forget I was in the top3 and I am the one with the better hair."

"Oh, shut up you peasants! You all are beneath me and (Y/n), therefore the pudding is mine."

"Says who? You, Barou? You do not have the charm to be anywhere near (Y/n)."

"Otoya, you cheated on your girlfriends. What makes you think you are worthy?" Yukimiya sighed.

"And what about you, Yukimiya? You are so plain, there is no way she will fall for you. Now me on the other hand-"

"Oh, shut up Karasu. Your charms are below Antarctica's temperatures." Niko groaned.

"I think the cutest one of us should get the pudding. So me-"

"Bachira, that would be me. I am also the ace, so that's just a bonus." Isagi smiled, earning a glare from Rin

"Pipe it down, you two can barely pick up a 2nd language." The captain added in.

"English is hard." The two protested.

"I think the richest one should have a say in the dessert." Reo smirked, earning louder protests.

Tokimitsu shivered a little in fright and looked over at (Y/n), freezing for a moment as he saw her crying.

"What's up, Tokimitsu?" Hiori wondered, one of the few who decided not to argue. Kurona looked over to where Tokimitsu was looking, and his eyes widened in surprise as he saw her crying too. He nudged Hiori.

"Look." Kurona said and the cyan-haired boy looked at (Y/n). He wasted no time and ran to her side, followed by Tokimitsu and Kurona.

"He-hey, don't take it to heart. They are stupid like that." Tokimitsu said as he patted the sobbing girl's back. Kurona and Hiori moved closer, both trying to calm her down, all three felt their hearts breaking as they watched her cry. The room grew slowly quiet too, as the rest looked at (Y/n) in concern and guilt.

"(Y/n)...." Chigiri gulped.

"It's just hard to keep up with you all. You keep arguing and destroying things at times... and it's just hard to keep up... I can usually take it, but I guess today isn't my day." A wave of guilt hit the team as they quickly scrambled for the right words. The last thing they wanted was for their (Y/n) to cry, or worse, contemplate on leaving them.

"Tokimitsu, go and take (Y/n) somewhere quiet to calm down. The rest of you stay here." Rin said, quickly getting unto his captain mode. The rest said nothing, deciding not to make things worse, and they watched with guilt and sadness as (Y/n) got dragged out by Tokimitsu.

"Alright, listen up." Rin spoke up, causing the rest to look at him.

"We need to pull our shit together, unless we want (Y/n) to leave and for some other manager to replace her. The team pretty much shuddered at the idea, there was no way someone will replace her!

"So, what's your idea, captain?" Barou wondered.

"I will tell you, but first... Reo, I need you to do some calls." The billionaire heir raised his eyebrow and slowly nodded his head.

And soo, that was what had happened. (Y/n) ended up crying for about 30 minutes as Tokimitsu stayed around, just in case. The boy was collected and calm, no sign of his previous fidgety demeanor. After she calmed down, she apologized to Tokimitsu for inconveniencing him, but the boy didn't mind.

"If you feel down again, don't be afraid to tell us. We will listen." The boy said with a smile, which calmed her down a lot.

After lunch, she went back to her normal duties, helping the other staff members and the team out. To her surprise, they didn't cause any ruckus, they were calm and friendly. Even Rin, Isagi and Barou stayed away from arguing with each other. Unbeknownst to her, whenever a staff member tried to scold her, Karasu, Aryu and Nagi would send them warning glares. They alone caused them to back off quickly. All in all, the day went pretty well, and (Y/n) felt a lot lighter now. She slowly walked into her bedroom, and stopped at the entrance as she noticed a box on her bed. Slowly walking towards it, she looked at the note on the box and slowly started reading it. (Y/n)'s eyes widened a little as she read it through, realizing that the team sent her this, and her heart melted at the apology they wrote out.

'They are chaotic... but I love them like that.' She smiled and slowly opened the box, only to find various treats that she could only buy outside of Blue Lock's facility, she even got a small (f/c) bear.

'They probably made Reo get this...' She chuckled and plopped on the bed, hugging the bear close to herself.

'I will make it up to them... maybe Teieri-san can help me get them some small gift next week.' She thought, slowly falling asleep.