#if u dont have garlic in the house i think garlic powder would do just fine but it may not be as rich a flavor

[naturalbornlosers]

walks in. hands you a mozzarella mac and cheese recipe that is so so delicious. leaves.

[kcalsforhim]

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ sunday 27 jan 2025

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this day started so good, i had a good day the day before lol, like a very good day with good cals, and i was prepared to have another amazing day !!! my stomach and bloating was already going down… it was like a blessing

i think i was just mostly drawing, not doing much of anything. then at around 4 pm i had my omad.

3 potato wedges. 1 piece of chicken. half a cucumber. 1 date. 1 protein yogurt musli thing

this was nice food.. i was grateful to have it i rlly enjoyed it. i was prepared to just, restrict until the end of the night and go to sleep bcs by 5 pm i was already tired. pretty normal.

then, my mom asked me if i wanted to go on a walk, i said sure. we ended up stopping by the grocery store to get some cucumbers and she got me other stuff too and oh my god i was so triggered. i kept eyeing every food. everything. everything. it was so. so. overwhelming. insane.

then i got home and i just lost my damn mind. i started preparing anything that could come to mind, and WHILE i was preparing food i was also eating cake and just… stuff. oh my god

list of things i ate :

1 piece of caramel stroopwafel cheesecake (not in this photo, eaten beforehand)

dates, like a handful of them

half a bag of airfryer chicken nuggets, 2 airfryer frikandel

ketchup, mayo, garlic sauce… and too much of it too.

3 pancakes, one with chocolate spread, one with chocolate spread and biscoff spread, one with powdered sugar. and big fat amounts too it was coming out of the pancakes lol

whipped cream i would put on every bite of anything sweet

an entire block of eurocrem chocolate

a whole pack of eurocrem wafers

lots of potato wedges (not pictured) and more chicken (not pictured)

smoked meat (not pictured)

2 entire muller milk shakes, strawberry (not pictured)

now this. i have never quite described what i do when i binge, but this is like, me coming down multiple times, because i just kept wanting to eat more. restrictive ed or not, my BED is a whole different topic i just cannot tackle and dont come with me with some heal ur relationship with food stuff im not asking for instructions or tips i just want my BED to go away and fuck off and die pleaseeuejejjwiejej

i felt SICK and i would literally go and make more room in my stomach just so i can binge again and my stomach is so giant and bloated afterwards it makes me look like i drank like 20 cans of beer ok.

i couldn’t sleep all night lol. i’m currently fasting because im too scared to eat. im … too scared. i feel like every time i break my fast im somewhat triggered to eat everything in sight ? it’s some kind of crazy problem so i thought if eating triggers you then maybe u should just not eat anymore… so that’s what im at rn. im too afraid to touch my food and im just so sick of myself and overeating because

binging is not fun guys. i do not enjoy it i mean yeah it feels like im breaking the rules and all that stuff but the physical pain when im binging and i cannot stop eating and the food noise is so bad and it hurts my stomach so bad. the motion of eating the swallowing, the flavours the way it sticks to your teeth just everything about it i hate it so much but i cannot stop and good god im really just traumadumping LMFAO

besides the point. at like, i can’t remember like 11pm i eventually stopped because i ran out of things i wanted to binge. yes. i binged absolutely everything triggering in my house untill nothing was left because this house is so triggering lol. now i think there’s genuinely little to nothing left because wel… i ate it all… like an insane person ??????

i will update you guys tommorow on how im doing with restriction… i have a general idea of what i want to do, but atp im so embarrassed to even say my plans that i just can’t even because a day after i fuck everything up ????? so yeah…. we’ll see it’ll unfold if it unfolds and if im a fatty you’ll hear that too sighs….

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ stats for today

100% fatty

pretty obvious today went to shit and tbh i do not even want to imagine or think about the calories guys the chocolate bar alone is like 500 calories let alone.. um everything else. dont remind me dont make me think dont give me an estimate its already y too late and tbh i think the only way i can fix it is if i just genuinely starve for a while. i cannot deal with eating so i will just avoid it i cant LMAO

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ song for today

insanely good song i rlly love it… i feel so good listening to this in a weird way… makes my heart beat a bit quicker somehow

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