#if tomorrow goes well im gonna buy the cute ikea alien plushie and call it Heiderich and then ill be all better

[astrofons-highderich]

Having sad Al cos thoughts.

That kid spent two years not remembering his time inside the armour when he couldn't eat or sleep or feel. But when he got his body back minus those memories, he probably took being able to do those for granted, or even a nuisance when he wanted to hurry up and find his brother. He had family and friends there to support him, to hug him and show him the affection that he had been unable to feel when he so badly needed it before, but now in his body, he feels so distant and distrustful of the same people, who seem to have given up on Ed or won't tell him what happened.

And then when Alphonse does finally get his memories back, once he's fully able to understand just what it's like to have his body again, he has to deal with being stranded in a new world and a country barely recovered from war and on the precipice of another, with his brother being the only familiar thing. They'll probably be unable to work well with their alien status or afford the inflated prices, and he'll have to go without the food and comfort he had for those two years again out of necessity, but this time able to feel the physical pain of it all. He gained his body but lost the meaning, then gained his brother and memories but lost the life he wanted for so long. He will never be able to hug winry, or eat pinako's stew, or run through the fields outside his home with Den again.

At the end of 03, both Al and Ed made very conscious decisions to sacrifice themselves for the other, but I wonder how much Al fully understood before he followed Ed through the gate at the end of cos? Did he get his memories back before he decided to go? Could he even comprehend everything that was happening at the time? Did he actually understand all that he was losing just to stay with his brother, or was that part of the price; the ignorance of his actions.

I don't think he regretted going with Ed, but wonder if he felt bitter once he had time to think about his situation. I guess it depends how much of the Al he lived as for the last two years survived after remembering, and how much of the old Al surfaced. Was finally getting his body and Ed back enough to make it all worth it, or was he angry at his naive self for wasting the short gift of a "normal" life his brother had given him? I wish we could have seen more to find out :'(