#if this sounds preachy or pretentious it’s because these are things I needed to hear myself haha

[jellie-the-aqua-puma]

So I was super late to the Ereri game and I know it's a controversial ship now. I know you used to ship it, and was wondering, is it something you dropped due to the controversy, or did you just fall out of love with it? No judgement either way, just stumbled across some of your old content and was curious :)

Hi! Thanks for asking, it’s always been controversial (cue eye roll) because of course what we ship is a reflection of what we are like as people—sike ;). But I fell out of love with it when I fell out of love with Attack on Titan which was pretty much around the Rumbling arc. The story was not making a lick of sense to me and I felt a huge disservice was being done to Eren’s character and that’s it haha. If AoT had ended differently, I would probably still be shipping them —or maybe not ;)— I have sooo many I WIPs that may never see the light of day if I can’t repurpose them!

I know you said you were late to the party, so if you ever want someone to talk to about them feel free to reach out even though it might make me sad :)

Thank you for asking!!

More thoughts under the cut!

I adored them with all my heart! I didn’t know about any of the controversy when I did, because a friend of mine liked Ereri and encouraged me to give AoT a chance. I had to look at a lot fo fanart and fanfiction before I fell in love with it, so by the time I learned, I was in too deep.

But you know, we don’t have to justify why we like what we like and Ereri has really helped me come to terms with that. It has also made become a lot more understanding of what other people ship!

(You know a lot of people who ship my current main, Soukoku (from Bungou), if they were also in the AoT fandom, they were Eruri shippers? The correlation is astounding, I always feel like an anomaly).

Sometimes you just like the way two people look and fit together, you like the way their personalities clash, you like the way their personalities don’t, or something else benign even if doesn’t make sense from a narrative standpoint. That’s ok! I really liked their fire / ice powerhouse personalities and I like that in other ships too!

[yakkety-yak-art]

Why Bioshock Infinite Wasn’t Working (for me)

As someone who loves the first and second games (the first largely for the story, the second largely for the gameplay and characters), I have really felt out of place in the fandom for just....not liking Infinite. Ever since it was released, people have been touting it around on a pedestal like it’s the best thing since sliced bread, but I just have never seen the appeal. Sure, it looks pretty, and there are some interesting parts, but it just never worked for me. And I figured out why. (Note: this is opinionated, so if you disagree and feel the need to respond, do so politely. I will be keeping this as fair as I can and there’s no need to be rude just because you disagree. If you like this game, that’s totally fine, and I can respect your opinion even though it doesn’t match up with mine! This is just my thoughts on the matter, and I am not the end all be all on the topic. You are free to feel however you wish about the game, and if you are more sensitive to criticism about things you like, feel free to just ignore this post!)

This game is a run-of-the-mill FPS with repetitive fights that traipses around in a facade of deep thoughts and hard-hitting hot takes. So many of the people praising this game praise it because the story is deep and riveting. to which I must eloquently say, “Nah.” The story is the equivalent of someone standing on a soapbox, gathering a crowd with the promise of a new concept no one has ever thought of before; something life-changing, something thought of only by a deep thinker; and this someone faces a crowd of Americans, waiting with bated breath to hear something they haven’t been aware of literally their whole lives, only to tell them in an extremely pretentious manner that, “America’s past was no fun :(.” 

No shit, Sherlock. 

The original Bioshocks dealt with things that will really always be topical: the implications and consequences of extreme capitalism and objectivism, and, conversely, extreme communism and mob mentality/hive mind-esque organizations; the importance of choice and the realization of people as individuals coming together being stronger and more unified than an echo-chamber group (yes, there’s a difference); the implications of moral decisions on the future for oneself and the entire world, and extremely beautiful and sometimes heartbreaking portrayals of the importance of platonic relations, found family, and positive bonds between parent and child (particularly fathers, which is refreshing and interesting, since a lot of dads don’t get a very good rep in media); the consequences of classism; finally, breaking free from the roles laid out and expected, and thinking freely (truly freely, not wrongfully convinced of free thinking when in reality the government is in control, seen with Atlas, Ryan, Lamb, etc. The games also give you extremely interesting moral decisions and topics; do you serve yourself, or sacrifice to save the children? Are you really any better than the splicers who were taken advantage of and left to rot, and while you must kill them to survive, are they still people? As you splice, do you become exactly what you are trying to save yourself and the few innocents of Rapture from?

These are all interesting and topical ideas to bring up. So what does Infinite have to share?

Racism is bad (an important topic, but handled poorly). Religion is also bad. Schrodinger’s cat, maybe? Infinite universes mean infinite possibilities!!! Except, no, not really. For a game that puts emphasis on infinite possibilities, it only really explores the same one. 

Firstly, “racism is bad/America is bad/religion is bad” is hardly a hot take, and they are portrayed in the most basic forms that they possibly could be. All the bad guys are racist to the extreme, the entire city is a haven of white supremacy, and basically all because of religion. The main villain only becomes the villain because he gets baptized. It’s extremely on the nose, with public humiliations/lynchings, and public worship of the dude who assassinated Lincoln. Not only does it seem, well, preachy, due to how on the nose it is, it’s not even interesting. Don’t get me wrong, it’s extremely important to discuss racism and xenophobia, especially as it occurred in the past, but because of the world they have set Infinite in, it comes across as implausible. Like, ok, fantasy world, but that’s just it: this is a fantasy. There could have been an amazing discussion on, not blanket “hurr durr institutionalized racism is bad”, but the society that Vigors, a majority working class of non-whites/immigrants, a search for utopia, and the extremes of religion AND science, paired with the idea of facades, would create. Why not have more of the public use Vigors? Like the Vox, in an attempt to gain more control and power? As Columbia had to travel from continent to continent, have the racism be always present but constantly hidden. Rather than public carnival games with racist caricatures, have a society that seems so perfect on the outside that it cannot possibly be. Everyone who is not white or is Jewish or Irish is always creepily smiling and re-asserting that they love their jobs, and their city. Perhaps one is seen speaking out, and they are quickly taken out. Uncovering an extremely unnerving facade like this proves the underlying corruption, power, and horror of the city a lot more than the extremely blatant examples in Infinite do. It’s like the difference between your teacher telling you people were racist in the past, and then reading something about how beautiful the world is and how nice the town they live in is in--only to then find a photo of the writer in a creepy black and white photo, smiling at the camera as they lynch someone--or even, being the subject in the photo who was lynched. It’s so creepy and obviously a lie, but unless you take the time to dig deeper, to find out why the writing had seemed so, well, strange or unrealistic, you could remain blissfully ignorant despite knowing something is wrong. That’s an interesting moral dilemma faced in everyday life. In Infinite, you can just kill them. Problem solved. In fact, it’s so easily solvable, apparently, that it makes you wonder why everyone else hasn’t done that already. It’s also extremely lazy to make all of your villains racist and all of the good guys totally not racist™ and just shoot everyone. I mean, really? they don’t even try to have a conflict of morality, like with Tenenbaum or Sinclair. It’s unrealistically black and white (ha), and because of this, predictable, lazy, and boring. Again, discussions of racism is not a bad thing--but it’s handled so poorly here that it’s almost like the story just stops to remind you that racism is bad, before continuing. 

The parts of the story that don’t deal with social issues are not any better. You can tell me all you want that the ending and the story are just sophisticated, and that I just didn’t get it, but to that I respond: maybe writing a story that has so many possible implications, endings, and theories that could all exist or not exist or sometimes maybe happen unless we were wrong about this one thing, in which case maybe not isn’t sophisticated, and is instead pretentious, lazy, and a lot fucking worse than you giving me a whole story with a jumping off point for my own ideas and conclusions about it’s implications. No, Infinite doesn’t do that. It’s so hackneyed, so convoluted, with it’s “infinite” lighthouses and “infinite” outcomes when in reality, no matter what, there’s just this one racist evil religious dude who is always religious and racist and evil. It could end, not in a “maybe it’s a Schrodinger’s cat?” cop out, but in one of those alternate outcomes (like, clearly alternate, not hinted at alternate), leaving the player with questions about the importance of decisions if there is always another place where the decision either was or wasn’t made, or whether or not the world should even be respected to the extent that it is when, with Elizabeth (and, in theory, her ability to create others with her powers), it is possible to just find a new world. Those are interesting, and also leave the player with some moral questions and debate topics, whereas the actual ending just sort of looks and sounds deep, but in reality is just a writer’s inability to live up to his own setup of the multiverse.

there are some other reasons, like how elizabeth’s powers seem really pointless as they are underutilized, how the game could have worked better if you played as her, how the game literally could’ve been standalone, seeing as it has nothing to do with Bioshock’s story except for Levine’s lazy attempt at “connecting” the two canons, but those are the big ones. All in all, I can’t like it because it has potential that was so ultimately wasted--it’s lazy in it’s story, in it’s tackling of social issues, and in it’s basic requirement at having anything to do with Bioshock, when it could have so easily been an amazing game, not only at the surface, but truly, as you dig deeper into the story. But I really, truly wish that I could love this game. It could’ve been great.

[pettyprocrastination]

Nicotine Patches and Old Spice

“You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under your saucer” AU

“ You're killing yourself by doing that. You know?” Sam’s earnest comment came off as snobby and uptight, causing Nikki to stop making her latte and grin.

“ Oh yeah? Well so is serving you shortstack, what’s new?” Sam’s face went red as she stuttered and looked for a proper comeback.

“ I bet you think you look cool smoking, right? W-well you don’t!” Nikki continued to listen to the med majors rant on her nasty habits as she puts the finishing touches on her drink. “ It’s gross and pretentious, and you smell bad when you do!”

Nikki chuckled and set the latte on the counter before leaning in with a smirk. “ Lemme let you in on a lil secret sammy-” Nikki leaned in so sam could feel her hot breath on her neck.

“ I don’t think it makes me look cool. But it’s so sweet you care so much about me.”

Sam reeled back as she felt her face get hot. “ I don't..you don’t even...you think you know...it’s so unhealthy..ugh!” She snatched her latte from the counter and scurried back to her booth, covered with papers, textbooks and her laptop, the signs of struggling college student.

Sam didn’t want to come off as rude or preachy to Nikki, she really didn’t. But as a med student and somebody with a grandfather who died from lung cancer, she didn’t want to lose anybody else to smoking. Especially Nikki, she was so frustrating.

When she runs into class late with her dumb messy hair and her stupid leather jacket (clearly from goodwill) and her crooked smile. Sam hated all of it. She hated the feeling of her face heating up when Nikki is sketching and looks up to see Sam staring at her, and flashes her a grin. She hated her stupid laugh with her dumb scary looking friends, when she throws her head back and hold her stomach from laughing at some stupid joke one of them said in the middle of a lecture. She hated how much she wanted to run up to her and confess her feelings and grab her by that stupid leather jacket and kiss her, even if she has disgusting smokers breath.

And most of all, Sam hated the idea of losing Nikki to smoking.

Sam sent the next two hours nursing her drink and finishing her term paper when she sees somebody slide into the other side of the booth. She looks up from her laptop to see Nikki sitting across from her with a smile.

“What do you want?”

Sam mentally chastised herself for sounding so harsh and rude to Nikki, praying that she doesn’t scare her off with her righteous good girl spiel.

“ I wanted to know if you have any more facts about smoking for me?”

Sam scoffed and crossed her arms. “Actually yes! It does terrible damage to the gums and-”

“ You know, as much as I want to hear you talk more about this, I already regret asking you.”

“Wow thanks.”

“We should do it somewhere else. Like the pizza shop across the street.”

Sam paused and sent her an odd look, causing Nikki so go red and falter in her proposal.

“ I mean, if you want! I mean I just got off so i thought ‘ya know why not?’  I get it if you don’t want to hang around somebody who smokes a ton but-”

She lifted up her sleeve to reveal a nicotine patch on her forearm.

“ It’s really sweet how much you care about my health and all, so I uh..”

“ You're quitting...for me?” Sam's eyes went wide as she saw Nikki freeze before pushing her sleeve back down and snorting.

“ Phs! Hell no! I’m doing it because it's way cheaper than buying packs all the time, the prices are going up, ya know?”

“ mhm..”

“ Not to mention smokers breathe needs to get outta here. Nobody wants to make out with smokers breathe! It’s just a decision to live my life better, for me, myself, and I!”

“ Just shut up and let me grab my things.” Sam giggled and put her things in her bag to put an end to Nikki’s rambling.

“ Right! My bad.” Nikki sat in silence until Sam stood up and flashed her a smile that made her heart race.

“ Now let's go idiot.” the two walked out into the streets and Sam felt the cold biting wind on her skin. “ Jesus it’s freezing!”

Nikki laughed and ruffles sam’s blonde hair.” What’s the matter princess? Can’t take the cold?”

Sam blew her cheeks out and crossed her arms.”Oh shut up you little-

“ Oh I’m just playin’ around babe!”

“ Babe?”

“ Here-” Nikki shrugged off her leather jacket and draped it around Sam. “ Better?”

Sam felt warmth surround her from Nikkis stupid jacket that was insanely soft for some reason. She took a deep breathe and it smelled like-

“ Really?” Sam snickered into her hand.” You use old spice?”

“ Yeah, is that a problem ponytail?” Nikki’s face was turning red due to the freezing weather, tiny goosebumps were appearing over her skin while sam was enveloped in her soft jacket that kept her safe from the cold.

Sam smiled and laced her hands with Nikki’s, feeling her black acrylic nails trace over her palm.

“ Not at all idiot.”