#if this isnt your style dont feel bad if you choose not to do this !

[oo-li]

receiptify tag game ! (☆▽☆)ﾉﾞ

tagged by the lovely @senor-hoberto 💜

not too surprised with my results, since i tend to listen to the same few playlists at work (^^ ;)ゞ

tagging !! @hyunlore @frannabelle3 @hwasdollie @skzonthebrain @lazystar @blizzardfluffykpop @jinnie-ret

→ link to receiptify ←

[tokuxsenshi]

Girls X Heroine "tomboy" essay

Alright I've returned to ramble about a bunch shit no one care about

today it will be about Girls x Heroine specifically about the girls who wear less girly clothing and how in a show made so cute and girly this isnt seen as a bad thing. I feel like growing up with the shows I did it was you could either be sweet girly girl and like singing dancing and flowers or you were a tomboy with an attitude and liked sports video games and fighting which kinda broke my mind alot as a kid because I hated girly clothes but still loved cute things and playing with dolls I did like stuff more aimed to boys but over the years I had changed myself to be less girly and say I hate pink and other girly stuff because I felt I needed to fit a box made by media and life experiences but clearly I grew out of that still dress the same but love my pink and cute thing again. but enough about my school day trauma lets talk about the girls

first I'll direct the attention to Fuuka (miracle tunes)

For Fuuka I choose to talk about an episode that I also feel highlights alot about what my points are here and thats

episode 8 of Miracle tunes: The road to becoming a stylish idol

In this episode Kojiro their make up artist and stylish brought the girls out to teach them about how changing your look sometimes can be a good thing and helps to learn what you like and how to show your cute side. some key moments I want to point out with it and how it fits with the tomboy talk is Fuuka says she doesnt want to shop but not because she doesnt like she just rather be working on dancing

In the store she tells Kojiro to just pick out clothes for her and he picks this and honestly as hates clothe shopping I can relate

which she doesnt like but it really feel less because its cute and more because it does doesnt look good and he tells her thats why its important to pick out her own clothes

when being called cute she never rejects the idea shes alittle surprised by it but never says she doesnt like it.

the next time she brings up what shes wearing she doesnt like it because its flashy and like yeah girl see yall from a mile away and why mai got a trucker hat this isnt about her I just dont like that hat.

but again this feel more like a moment where she just doesnt like the clothes not because their girly but that she just doesnt like them

and the last point this episode I'll bring up is the ending where she in a very cute girly outfit doesnt say she hates it or say its to girly for her

This feel like the kind of episode if it was in a sitcom I would watch as a kid it would be way more about Fuuka being forced to wear cute thing and change to fit in but its just about learning to find your style and learning to also show off your cute side.

I truly love that Fuuka was able to dress how she felt comfortable but also allowed to show she like girly things without hiding it she never rejected to the idea of having to look cute and girly to be and idol she was never mocked for how she dressed or wanting to be an idol I also truly love how her idol outfits are still just ask girly and cute as the others while still having shorts even her Miracle Tunes outfit was still just as cute with having shorts you dont have to wear a skirt and dresses to be cute

So coming back to this a few days after I wrote it I noticed Mai second costume also has shorts like Fuuka so you can even say it has nothing to do with how fuuka dressed

Now to move onto Mitsuki (magimajopures)

Mitsuki is very sporty but was never shown to be more boyish then the other girl besides how she dressed she not even a blue heroine shes yellow

she has a very positive and peppy attitude which really goes against what the norm of what usually seen of a character like her she loves flowers and nature because shes a flower witch. I wont talk about a whole epiosde again but I wanted to point out this moment from episode 9 of Magimajopures where Mistuki and here friend Nanami are talking about where Nanami gets her hair done on the way home from tennis practice like to have two sporty character be talking about hair styles is not something I feel like would be seen in the kind stuff I watched as a kid. but Nanami says she goes to a beautician and Mitsuki wants to go right at that moment Nanami says she cant go dressed the way she is not because shes not dressed feminine enough but because shes in a tack suit and thats just not proper beautician seeing attire

so Mitsuki puts on a cute dress not because she was forced to wear it but because she wanted to I mean she used magic but she wasnt upset to be in the dress so she probably wanted it

to have the sporty tomboy character deliver this message makes my smile bloom

and again it being an episode about beauty with the tomboy character that isnt about forcing them to change beautiful. I love Mitsuki and I love that shes a sporty girl but she doesnt fall under the stereotypes that a show would usally put on that character

Honoka (Kirameki Powers)

Honoka probably the closest well get to a stereotypical in GXH my girl only thought when waking up is FIGHT she loves being strong theres nothing in the show like the other two showing her having any kind of girly side shes alot more stubborn she does still care about her friends and has alot of passion in her for the stuff she likes but like also having a character who is tomboy and fine with that also good sometimes

these three were the big ones on here now just talk about a few character who are shown to dress girly but I wouldnt really say their character would be tomboy in anything else

first Saki (phantomirage)

Saki really only come into this because her heroine form has shorts and shes doesnt dress girly

but shes not really sporty or anything like that shes a fangirl espically an idol girly just like me FRFR like really in anything else she would probably be a girly girl character

Shiori (magimajopures)

Shiori like Saki is purely being brought up because she doesnt dress girly but other then that again her interest don't reflect this style she wants to be a fashion model I really like that they have a character who doesnt have the girly girl look but loves fashion again like saki I feel like she would be throw into a girly girl personality in anything else.

Kirari (Kirameki Powers)

Kirari defiantly the no where near being a tom boy even though she doesnt wear dresses and skirts her cloths are still very girly in color and style unlike the other but let me just put her on here as one the only girl character whos super girly and loves videos games and it not seen not being a girl thing

This defiently probably more a rant then an essay but uh thanks for reading all this way I stayed up way to late writing all this and it toke me so many hours because when looking into honoka I got stuck the phantomirage episode of kirapowers I just love phantomis I hope you got something out of this

bonus Honoka going fan fan for making it all the way to the end

[malevolententity]

I'm 1 of those asking "what is dignity?" and I find it interesting that you assume I lack self-respect. We may be using the word differently? I grew up occasionally hearing about "dignified clothes" or "dignified posture" or similar, which I never cared about. I saw monogamous people say "have some dignity!" to polyamorous people, trying to shame them out of a relationship style that I frankly admired. All these judgment criteria seemed bizarre and arbitrary.

I basically concluded: I have too much self-respect to want anything to do with what those people called "dignity".

I hope this explains some of the disconnect.

we might just be coming at it from different angles? because i agree i dont care about the dignity defined by my home town. i dont fit my families definition of dignity, to them im undignified. to everyone i grew up with and learned their definition of dignity they think im undignified by my very existence and how i choose to live. but im still dignified. i know how i carry myself is self-respecting for me and thats all the dignity i care about.

my loaded wording was aimed at the people i saw saying dignity isnt real because they claim to have never felt it. because i simply dont believe that. it was not aimed at people wondering what falls under dignified and undignified according to the OP

everyone at somepoint has known self-respect and self-disrespect, its a major difference that you can feel, and thats what i was needling at. wasnt meaning to say that not knowing what dignity is, is an immediate lack of self-respect. but to get people thinking that if you know what your self-respect is and have it then you know and have dignity even if you think you dont. that claiming its not real is wild

so my bad im sorry was not meaning to be the arbiter of who has self-respect and who doesnt

[lianreine]

Yuu's first day in Nrc

To explain today is my first day if my new school and in honor of that im making this if yuu gets chosen by the mirror mid schoolyear

Ill be making Yuu have the experience i had because...yes

(I lost my border-)

Mc pov

My alarm woke me up as some family members also yell at me tow ake up at 5:30am

I groan and turn off my alarm grabbing my id (and glasses and whatever)

I walk down stairs as they gave me a sandwich to eat

And i realized i left my hair clip in the other part of my house..

"You dont have time yuu!"

Your guardian yells

"ILL MAKE IT!"

I say as i run to to the other house

I turn iver 3 boxes and find it in the last one, quickly going down the staurs and locking the door with the key and closing the gate as i run to my main home

I styled my hair (whatever you want) and tied my shoes when the carriage arrived

"Im going now!"

I yell as i approach the carriage

"Good luck! Stay safe!"

My guardian yelled...

When i arrived in nrc my coffin opens as slow fog comes out...i wear the iconic ceremonial robe...but...Crowley is my uncle...maybe id mess with him for a bit..

Crowley pov

I open the coffin and fog comes out as i realize that Yuu isnt in there

"Yuu!?"

They appears behind my sitting on the air stealing my hat and putting it on their head without their hood on

"Yes, uncle?"

They smile

"Yuu, get down! Or ill tell your guardian about this"

I say slightly annoyed to be played around infront of mt other students

"Arent you my other guardian though?"

They flip ny hat off their head cathing before taking out a joker card

"Dont you already know me?"

I sigh and grab my hat back from them...

Mc pov

I step to the mirror and say my name...the mirror chooses my dorm...

"(The dorm you want)"

Heartslabyul : Riddle feels a headache coming in... cater takes a selfie with you as deuce and ace talk to you with trey offering you some treats

Crowley sighed in relief

"Oh thank god they're in the dorm of rules.."

Savanaclaw: Leona doesn't really care...but introduced himself he thinks your trouble for the dorm though...Jack thinks your interesting and he talked to you first...ruggie showd you around savanaclaw and you two were friends with you twin mischief

Crowley:...sh*t

Octavinelle: Azul thinks your power is unique and might just get it...till you kept tricking hom with his tries of a contract...congratulations you got floyd and jade interested in you. Happy eel school year my dear yuu.

Crowley:...they're gonna die

Scarabia: Kalim happily greets you willing to tour you the whole scarabia...while jamil calmly calms him and sees you as trouble till her realizes you actually not that bad and willingly helped you alot of times

Crowley:...they're gonna melt-

Pomefiore: Vil just looked at your form. Your hair. And he simply said "..a bit of makeup...maybe fixing the hair...and...mhm...this will be fine" and Rook was so delighted to have someone as interesting as you complementing your every move while epel was just glad to have a friend in this.

Crowley:...how the f-

Ignihyde: Ortho kindly greeted you and welcomed you with open arms touring you of the place and even introduced you to his big brother "nee-san!"(is that right-) "i brought the new student" Idia actually got along with you and ortho was happy you and idia do gaming tournaments

Crowley:...hEh?

Diasomnia: Lilia greets you happily and introduces you to Mal... You know who he is but gladly greeted him as any other student making him smile and even Lilia taking interest. Silver usually uses you as on the go pillow...and you told sebek about your problems with loud noises and he understands and tries to not yell around you

Crowley: AYE SAME DORM AS ME♡

TO BE COUNTINUED CAUSE IM TIRED EHE

[agandar]

finished side order. compiling my thoughts and impressions on it but not going too in depth, maybe later when the experience has settled a little

spoiler warning just in case

overall, i enjoyed playing through it. i did go through it all with every palette, including Eight's. the different weapons were fun, and im impressed how they managed to make it so that all of them are not only viable but fun - i was dreading the brush and sniper, but i even ended up enjoying them, which was pleasantly surprising.

some of the kits were frustrating, but they could be swapped out, so that's... fine, i guess. as well, some of them have biases towards chips that don't feel helpful or useful at all - the splatana's luck and drone bias was devastating - but you can turn off the bias so i guess thats also just. fine. but i wish we could just choose the bias we want. there are some builds i want to experiment with, but im gonna have to end up rerolling the floor for ages with that, which is irritating. i also wish there was a function to remove chips - maybe just a recycler or something at vending machines, it just gives a handful of membucks or something. there isnt really a lot of ways in terms of directing where you want your build to go and i wish we had just a tad more for that.

the chips themselves im also a bit mixed on. some chips feel like they do nothing, while others feel like one or two completely flips things. and some you need the full set to notice, but getting the full set is a pain, and by the time you have it it's barely useful anymore. some chips i also question whyre they're there - ink attack size never felt necessary (though that could totally be me - i want to eventually max all the chips so maybe i'll change my mind after putting it through it's paces) and the fact that the splatana's charge is a chip felt questionable, too. then there's the fact that there are SO MANY chips for damage that are all separated - rush damage, near damage, far damage, bomb damage, sound damage, and then the nine chips of regular damage. just... why are there so many? im not entirely bothered by it, near and far damage is neat in how it can change your playstyle, but. that just feels like too much

also not entirely happy with how the pearl drone is a little useless unless you have a bunch of chip upgrades + hacks for her, i understand not wanting to flood the selection pool with drone chips, but it still irks me a little

stage designs were fine, was a bit worried how well the 'complete x objective' mission style would mesh with a roguelike but it ended up fine. i also like the difficulty levels, you could choose how much risk you want based on how confident you are in your build and be rewarded or just play it safe to get that clear. some level designs were absolutely egregious though (looking at you, sisyphus) they don't feel challenging in a rewarding way, they just feel bad.

speaking of just bad, i really did not like the danger levels. at first i thought it was a fun little modifier, but over time my feelings on them really just soured. i liked the concept but hated it in practice - "danger" could be anything from no item drops, which is negligible, to not being able to use a primary mobility mechanic, which is awful. taking a danger level never added any extra difficulty in a way that was fun, but in a way that made it hard just because.

which, i think that's my problem with side order - things dont get more difficult in a way thats fun, they get more difficult just because. it doesnt feel more rewarding to beat it in hard mode because it just isnt fun anymore.

side order is fun, i beat it, im planning on playing it more, but it still just left me wanting some more. i dont want to say it feels shallow, but i wish there was just a touch more to really finish it up. because it is good, i do like it, but that's it. it's just... good. but i wish it could be pushed just a bit further to be great.

anyway im done rambling now, maybe i'll come back in a week and look at this and be like "actually, that's all wrong" but who knows. most of my gripes were minor but all together it just weighed my experience just enough. the story was fine, kinda irked that marina went "oh if i use cucumber phones as a terminal anyone could get pulled in against their will" and followed that up with "oh better warn the phone company" instead of. just making a dedicated terminal?? like that feels like a huge oversight but ok whatever. love acht love their extra dev log letters about marina glad they're joining the off the hook found family and wish we got more of them other than i push the elevator button. also agent 4 too what happened with them. what do you mean they were supposed to be head of security where are you. are you there. hello

[ultra-raging-ghost]

I'm remaining like actually anonymous for this, but you'll probably guess who I am based on how I type. Sorry for venting in your asks, I mention s/h, but it's not graphic.

I feel like I should post about the situation, but I seriously don't want to! I try to keep positive on my page (even if I'm mostly an angst writer).

I know scrolling through the situation tag is a form of s/h for me (<- dealt with a similar situation), and I think posting about it would make it worse. I don't feel like I'm deserving of the break I'm trying to give myself.

It's a lot, sorry.

I can actually identify you by your writing style which is surprising to me!/pos

I do find myself doing the same thing, i relish in the qsmp discourse tag sometimes or scroll blogs myself for the same reason, its definitely a form of s/h, i just call it wallowing.

You dont have to post or reblog anything about it if you choose not to! I know a lot of people say you should regardless of your blogs "theme" or "vibe" but thats a more recent internet culture thing that i dont personally agree with. Your space on the internet is something you curate not just for yourself but for the people who follow you and see your content, its easy to say to repost or talk about something when its not something that actively harms you or is considered "doomposting" (<- i dont love that term but thats a dif issue)

As a bad main i like to compare it to him choosing not to swear and asking the others not to swear around him too - he could choose to swear, and he could choose to let others swear (as he's done tactfully depending on the situation) but he doesnt because he curates his audience and chooses to make it as family friendly as possible (when foolish isnt around LMAO)

and in the words of the man himself "Sometimes a man just feels like suffering, chat!" Dont feel bad about doomscrolling, dont feel bad about doing that sort of thing as a form of s/h, its destructive but its not something to be ashamed of.

this was kinda rambly but this is my honest thoughts and i hope it helps :')

[ooglywooglies]

probably even worse that my singular trans character is not even a human, hes part of my vampire alien species that only has one sex which is arguably neither male nor female, they have a whole separate gender system that centers around appearing femininely human but its not really the same as being a human woman because theyre not humans and theyre not appearing that way for personal reasons

in this world human gender is the same as our world, you got your penis borners your vagina borners your intersex, your agab, your male, your female, your non binary, your combinations, your others

in nyesaya gender there is 3

tsozou - means "traditional" this is where you shapeshift (which is a slow process it is not fast at all its like growing your hair out) to appear as an attractive human woman, and you can keep up with beauty trends in order to appear appealing and vulnerable and prey on human men siren style

(i wrote this concept when i was 18 where i really identified with the concept, please dont read it in bad faith lol)

houzou - means "non conforming" this has more to do with vampires that choose not to look as human, really they can have any kind of gender performance though probably. this concept describes 1 very specific character i made

raro - basically just means "transgender" its a specific term for a nyesay who decided to shapeshift to be masculine instead of feminine

houzou and raro are both pretty uncommon but raro is less common that houzou and more shameful because theyre both seen as self destructive (if you dont look "appealing" then you cant eat - which isnt inherently true both characters get by just fine) but raro is kind of especially gross because human men in nyesay culture are stupid and evil, nyesaya never prey on women because its more difficult and a lot of them get push back when confronting a man so hunting them is more justifiable.

i know this sounds like "oh alex you just made your cannibal aliens into angry man hating feminists, youre demonizing women for being victims of abuse" and like thats not what my perspective is i will probably just have to tell you how i got here because this has been in development for 10 years

so when i was about 18 i was nb but fairly female aligned, ive dealt with a lot of abuse from men in my childhood and especially recently having just dealt with my moms divorce and shaken off a long time stalker, i was (and still am) BIG into feminism and i think MRA stuff was also a big deal at the time and i was also on OKC and getting horrible messages constantly so i was pretty fuckin done with men

i make mauvi (the demon looking girl) and set up some vampire lore where they are their own species of creature, they can change appearance, they are female presenting siren types, and they can ONLY eat human flesh, none of this animal blood or any red liquid bullshit, because whats the point of a vampire if they dont kill people.

i think to myself if i was a vampire who would i kill and how would i justify it. obviously everyone immediately has the light yagami idea right? oh ill just kill BAD PEOPLE, but then you immediately run into the light yagami PROBLEM which is how do you decide who is bad and who isnt, and if you can decide who is bad how bad do they have to be to deserve having their life ended. youre not light yagami in this situation, you dont have the option to simply not kill anyone, you have to or else you will starve to death, you are a regular person with regular person strength and social power.

my immediate response to this thinking is im a young beautiful girl, i will simply wait for the predatory men like those in my OKC dms to approach me, ill lead them away out of sight, and i will kill and eat them.

[ graphic depictions of violence ]

its not as simple as that though, have you considered what doing something like that would feel like? especially to have to do it on a regular basis? to be subjected to abuse and then to have to kill a person, have you ever thought about what itd feel like to kill someone? like physically, that youd have to manually cut off the blood flow to someones brain with your own hands and fingers, youd probably have to cut through their skin and fat and muscle because you probably dont have the strength to strangle them. you have to wait for them to stop breathing and watch their blood spill out of their neck or wherever you decided to cut them.

i think, if it were me, i would start to resent them for making me experience that. because of course i can see the person im killing as someone who had memories and experiences before this who had people that loved them and they probably werent all bad. they probably made someone laugh before, what if they had a dog, what if they chose never to speak to me in the first place. you talked to me so i HAD to kill you, i didnt have a choice, and there are other people out there like you who will try to approach me because of how i look and i will have no choice but to kill them too. and every single time i do i will have to watch them stop breathing and i will think about the people who may have loved them and if this was just a one time mistake. if i judged them for something they could be redeemed for. this isnt about him or what hes done, its about what its doing to ME. i cant turn off my empathy for you, and for that i hate you even more, i hate that you make me hate myself.

and so she tries to look less human every day, a little bit less appealing, so that one day she doesnt have to do it anymore.

and i have to think, of course this is just one perspective, just my perspective. but how does this affect the entire rest of the population that has to deal with this kind of stuff. yknow, of course you hate men of course you resent men. its happened so many times it almost feels like its how all of them are, its something about their nature.

and now, im transgender, im a transgender man. yknow i look back on those feelings i had, my experiences with misogyny and hatred and stuff and i think about how someone living a life like that would feel to know i went from going through everything they experienced to wanting to be a man anyway. it feels like a betrayal. especially because everyone knows you wont get what she thinks you want out of it, from her perspective you are leaving her behind to continue to be abused and feel resentment for the men she has to kill. and youre escaping it, youre switching sides, to be one of the men that she HAS to kill.

to me, the different things we grow into, monsters of misappeal are not really that different, maybe it is an escape i dont really know.

anyway i know it got a little deep and a little personal, im just trying to convey that you shouldnt just generalize my vampires to be this way or that way irt feminism and sex politics and all that because like i said its been 10 years so far of development. i use them to explore A LOT of different ideas and one thing i really like about them is trying to explore different perspectives. almost all of my vampires are extreme ends of a spectrum that spikes into different directions, i do this for FUN and to exercise my brain.

vampires do have a "tradition" and a "culture" but they are not all the same they have different opinions on things, even the ones that fall into "traditional" mindsets dont agree with each other. i have a bunch of them that didnt get brought up at all in this post because its too fucking long already. also this side of the vampire politics is only like, a quarter of all the shit ive developed about them i have literally another post im making simultaneously that im gonna post right after this one.

its kinda strange that i only have ONE transgender character, out of like 30

[actualbird]

good day po fave online kuya kong si kuya zak 🫶🏽🫶🏽

feel free to delete this from ur inbox if u don wanna answer i genyuweenly won't mind <33 pero how did u decide on a senior high school?? a strand?? A COLLEGE???? a career too doot doot doot

idk school and the future has been stressing me out :pain: also any debate tips cause in my head ur a very good speaker...... my first debate is graded so it's taking a toll on my grp 😓😓😓😓 AND labag sa kalooban namen ung topic AHAHHAHAHHA so namamlastik lang kami

thank u sm ule kuya kahit na idelete mo to, typing it out made me calmer ng onti seryoso ueuueue

>hopefully friendly neighborhood (marikenyo) grade 10 student

ps; ur luke cos is so cos goals the luke stan in me is screaming crying cause im curious if im taller than u /j im only 5'2" lawl UR WIG IS SO NICE TOO LIKE GENUINELY !!!! the styling is mwa chefs kiss

hi hi anon!! omg first off can i just say i got a nice boost of happy chemical from being called kuya zak like,,,,oh das me :'D

and it's alright, i dont mind this at all!! i really understand how the future can be stressful huhu, especially when ur in high school, so helping out in any way wld be my pleasure

i'll go thru this one by one (and under a readmore) cuz it seems uve been following here for a while so siguro by this point, siguro alam mo na na madaldal ako esp sa mga ask responses JHVKAJHSFVJKAHS

how did i decide a senior high school strand/college degree/career?:

unfortunately, i cannot help on on the High School Strand kasi 'di ko naabutan yung strand system in high school VSJHFVKSJDHGSD. my batch graduated right when they started doing strands, so i never got to experience it, huhu, nor do i understand the process (even after my younger sibling has tried many times to explain it to me, minsan bobo ako jVKJSHF)

but maybe my next stuffs can help out :D

in choosing a college course i.....really kinda just picked what i wanted to do. and this was a huge privilege i'll always be grateful to my family for, whatever i wanted to study, they'd support me. the courses i applied for in diff schools were the following, in order of first to last choice: Creative Writing, English/Comparative Literature, and BA Psychology (tho disclaimer: i only put this last one on application forms cuz it was needed, i didnt actually want to study that very much HAHA, it was writing or lit for me all the way)

on why i wanted those courses is....idk it's another thing that i think is also a privilege. ive always known that ive wanted to write, to study writing, and to pursue it later on. ive been writing and reading ever since i was a kid and i was pretty deadset on it from an early age.

i know that a lot of people dont have a similar experience tho sometimes, but i guess my advice for how to pick a college course is: what can you see yourself enjoying learning more and more and more about?

ofc, this gets a bit more complicated if ur family is strict and will only allow u to take certain degrees huhu. but if uve got the freedom to choose, i'd say dont just think about what you like, but what you'd like to learn about.

cuz college is work. it's a LOT of work. and while liking something can help, that Like can fall flat when youve gotta be doing all the requirements. it helps if, whatever u choose, it's something uve got a craving for knowledge for.

and honestly, if you dont know what to get or if you choose something and realize it isnt for you, thats okay too! you can shift courses in college! or if you want to learn more, you can take a minor degree! sometimes your first choice wont work, and thats okay. you can choose again and see what fits.

how i chose my career was a bit different from this cuz....the ph job market is in shambles JHVASFVASKJFHASVKFJAH

i currently work as a copywriter and despite the stresses, i really enjoy my job! but this wasnt my first job (my first job fucking sucked so bad that i resigned within a month) and i didnt land it straight out of college (i was out of college for over a year before landing my current gig). i got lucky with my current job, bc when it comes to careers, it's a lot harder to have a choice.

of course, all the jobs i was looking into were writing related: content writer, SEO writer, scriptwriter, etc etc. but theres a lot of companies out there that treat writers like absolute shit, a lot of companies who wont get back to you after an interview, a lot of companies who wont take you. i didnt choose my career so much as get lucky in the job market gacha (lol), but my advice here is that like...search within the industries you think you'd, at best, enjoy working in or, at minimum, can endure being in

which is a very depressing statement, i know.....life is tough, but there are good jobs out there with ppl who wont treat u like crud. if i got lucky, i can only hope more ppl can get this kind of experience too

and like i said in the college bit, if u find urself in a job u dont vibe with and u have the privilege/stability to be able to quit it:.....just quit it

a lot of these life choices are made to be really Big by schools and teachers and everybody really, but you dont have to get it right the first time. you can start over, it's alright, youve got your whole life ahead of you. if your life allows u the privilege and freedom to choose and discover new things, dont hold yourself back

i hope this could help somehow. i realize that a lot of this is medj philosophical jHVJHSFKJSD but back when i was in college, i wish somebody told me that it's not the end of the world if i didnt get it right the first time. so thats what i'll tell you, cuz it's true :'D

and as for debate tips HAHA, okay heres where i can give some more concrete advice because i LOVE DEBATING. I LOVE PUBLIC SPEAKING AND PRESENTING OMG OMG. it's a dream come true for me, people HAVE to listen to what ive got to say, it's a huge power trip JVSKJHFVAJS

ANYWAY, DEBATE TIPS:

i am so sorry that the topic that got assign to u and ur grp isnt something u like huhu. but my overall tip for debate (and any public speaking tbh) is. fake it

like, legit, just fake it. the delivery portion of debate, to me, is basically theatre and acting HVKJHVFKJAHFAS

imagine the most confident speaker uve ever seen urself, maybe somebody so confident na nainis ka sa kaniya, and do exactly that:

get that good posture, make motions with your hands because this helps get people's attention. if eye contact makes u nervous (it makes me so nervous huhu) u can blur/unfocus ur eyes, U Do Not See It

maintain a good rhythm with your speaking too. speak with moderate loudness and emphases for the less important, and then idiin mo in the bits na gusto mo parang mic drop moment ahfjshfa (which is usually saved best for the latter portion of an argument, but good to pepper it in as well thru the whole thing with ur most important pieces of info)

tho ofc thats all only on the public speaking bit. if im remembering correctly, high school debate does also rely heavily on the research/outline stuffs u have to do prior to the debate, and for that, i have less advice huhu. im not all that great of a researcher, but as long as uve got ur reputable sources all arranged well, oks na yan!

i feel like at this point i shld tell u that in high school, medj patapon ako na estudyante, basta pumasa ako, ok na yan sakin JHVJSHFVKDSJHFKS

that being said, pls take all my advice w a grain of salt, ha! because what works for me might not work for you. everybodys got different methods of speaking, researching, choosing degrees and careers. but even if what i said doesnt match what wld work for u, i hope ur main takeaway na lang is that u can do whatever u want in whichever way works best for you

anyway, thats all ive got to say for now! i hope smthng here could be of use and that you have a great week, anon :'D

(P.S. WAAHH, THANK U FOR UR KIND WORDS ON MY LUKE COSPLAY :DDD!! i got the wig secondhand for a steal price HAHA and......yes, you are taller than me, im 5'1" JHVJSHDFVKSDJHFVDSKJHFDSKJJKHVKJH)

[kittydcoxx]

Stay with Me.

KAEYA X READER.

Warnings: light angst/heartbreak but nothing bad (happy ending)

The tavern was as crowded as usual, and by that meaning almost completely baren for a rainy Wednesday afternoon. As you order a apple cider from Charles, the tavern door bell rings and you instinctively turn to check.

"Ah~ it is pouring out, I need a drink to combat the dissapointment of getting my fur cape wet."

Kaeya. Of course he wasnt the last person you'd expect to see open the tavern doors, he just wasnt much of a "afternoon delight" type drinker. Still, you stare as he tries to cooly swipe off the wet rain from his uniform as he walks towards the counter and takes a seat next to you.

"Well, well! Good afternoon y/n! What a suprise to see a beauty such as yourself here at this hour."

He raises an eyebrow and smirks as he turns to look straight ahead and run his fingers through his hair, not allowing time for you to respond before he has a drink in his hand.

"Afternoon Captain,"

You face him and smirk with the same intensity of flirty-ness as he just had.

"Of course you would be surprised to see me at this hour, you usually drink yourself to sleep before i order a evening drink."

You chuckle and look straight ahead and take a swig of your beverage, the confidence of your little witty come back replays as the cider burns your throat.

"Oh ho, well thats quite the attitude! I must ask, whats the purpose of this?"

"Hmm?"

"The occasion? I've never seen you drink three days in a row, I've been sober enough to pay attention to that."

The truth is, the last few days you've been at a bit of a crossroads. You know you and the Cavalry Captain share feelings, but you have a job offer in Natlan. This job is a dream to you, ever since you were a child. You could never dream of passing this opportunity, but you question if this possible romance could be the first significant one. You've been meaning to bring it up to him, but recently you just havent seen enough of him to bring up the subject. As a result, you turned to the more than occassional drink at the tavern to brighten your mood from the decision that faces you.

"Well then if you're interested, it actually... might concern you."

Your face is flushed red due to nerves, of course it doesnt directly concern him since nothing astronomical has occured in order to absolutely weigh your decision based on a man, but you didnt want to leave without warning.

"I see, well, we haven't..." His cheeks grow the slightest bit red as his eyes skip to look around then back at you.

"we haven't progressed to that yet, have we? I mean, you're not pregnant are you?"

"What?!" You're taken aback by the direct-ness of his statement, about the fact that he thought it could even have been a possibility. Was it confirming your suspicions of him returning feelings? "No, i- its not that! That is out of the question completely!" You yelp as you shake your hands as a frantic meaning of saying "Absolutely no way".

"Of course! of course.. i just figured i'd ask in case, but i guess drinking for a few days regularly isnt particularly healthy for a baby."

You roll your eyes and take another swig. Oh boy.

"It's actually more of an advice thing, i suppose."

"Ah~ well! lets discuss then, hm!" He happily takes a sip of his wine, his face surprisingly relieved.

"So? What do you need the great Master Kaeya's guidance on?" He smiles and giggles slightly.

"Actually, I'd like to take this outside."

"But its raining cats and-"

"Outside. please."

Your tone picks up more aggresively and he gets the memo. He takes one more sip of his beverage and you do the same with yours. You pay Charles and meet Kaeya right at the door.

"Get ready for the rain, sweetheart"

Your heart jumps as he grabs your wrist and swings open the door, pulling you with him down the street, stopping at a small archway behind a building, big enough to comfortably converse without being cramped or drenched.

"Now, where were we?"

"right.. well.." You look down and fidget with your thumbs, only to look back up at him and see him gazing into your eyes, examining your soul and what felt like your heart. Did he already know? It sure felt like it.

"I have a big decision to make, but i want to ask you before i come to a concrete decision."

He nods as a sign to continue talking, acknkowledging his position in helping you decide.

"I might have to move away. To natlan more specifically. I've recieved a dream~ job offer that i simply cant refuse, unless i was faced with new circumstances here in Mondstadt."

"Hm, And how do i play a role in this?" He asks as he folds his arms and leans back against the stone wall.

You explain to him his part, and he lets you talk until you are completely finished. you tell him your feelings, your worries, your doubts, and your hopes. Every single one that included him in the package. He looks at you sternly the whole time, but he looks hurt at the same time and you wonder why.

"Well, i honestly dont know what to say to this y/n. You know i cant leave Mondstadt if we were to persue eachother."

"I know."

"Then why bother telling me? Why not just leave, hm? Before damage could be done? before you told me all this, confirmed my hopes in our relationship but crushed it with the fact that you 'might' leave? You should have just spared me and left!"

He looks emotional and teary eyed, much more that you're used to seeing from a man who held such a cool composure 24/7. Have you hurt him that much? Does he hate you?

"I can always stay if you wan-"

"No. Its your dream job, and you shouldnt pass it off. I just cant promise that i'll wait for you."

He steps closer to you, inches from your face. His breath is warm and it contrasts with the cold rainy air. He slowly takes your hand and hold it in his, then lands a soft passionate kiss onto your lips. A few seconds of the kiss pass and he breaks for air and looks at you, making strong magnetic eye contact with you.

"Y/n, I can't wait for you."

"You dont have to. I can stay."

He runs his hands up your arms and grips firmly onto your shoulders and kisses you again, and when he pulls back he lets out a heavy sigh.

"There's no staying, just be safe. Please."

Your throat swells like a rock is stuck and your eyes burn hot along with your ears. You cant muster any words, you just stand there maintaining a sorrow eye contact for a few seconds.

As you both stare in silence, he slowly lets go of you, and as soon as his hands depart from yours, he turns and walks out and into the road. The further he walks and fades from your vision, the further you slide down the wall until your behind hits the wet floor as you curl up to your knees. Hard, Hot tears stream steadily down your cheeks as you hide your head in your knees, sobbing hard yet silently. Your heart aches and your stomach churns.

You want to run and look for him, grab him by the waist and embrace him in a hug from behind as you cry against his back, but he has already erased you from his plethora of memories as he sulks in his room with a drink. The night is weary and so are you. You walk home, replaying the scene in your mind over and over, and the instant you step into your home, you fall to your knees and sob once more.

You dont even close the door behind you. You cant do anything but cry, you had no idea you felt so strongly for Kaeya, but you had to put it all behind you.

He probably had.

What feels like an hour or two goes by and you barely made it to the couch, where you lay sprawled out, half on the couch and half not as you stare into empty space, thinking of nothing but everything at once. Why did his mood snap so quickly? Why did he cut you off? Was it self defense? What could he gain by pushing you away? You had no clue, but you didn't want to dwell on it and start crying again, so you just lay there trying to fall asleep.

Suddenly, a warm, slender hand grazes your back and rubs up and down softly.

"I'm sorry."

You jolt a little, but you dont get up immediately.

"How long have you been like this? Its almost night again y/n. Have you gotten up at all!? Your door was wide open, I was worried."

No response from you as you try to analyze the voice. It sounds like Kaeya, but you had remind yourself that he wanted nothing to do with you.

The man sighs and walks away. A hallucination for sure, you thought. The male comes back and lifts you by the shoulders. He sits on the couch and then lays your head onto his lap.

You look up and are met with blue eyes, one scarred and one as normal as you're used to seeing on him, though both glossy as if about to cry.

"Kaeya?"

"Mhm. Sit up Darling, you need to drink water."

You obey and sit close beside him, sipping the water he hands you with both hands on the glass like a child. He puts his arm around you and his hand on your head and gives you a soft yet quite long kiss on the head as you finish your water.

"Im sorry. We can work something out. I know that i shouldn't.. I can't push you away."

You dont fight his embrace as it gets firmer, and his body trembles slightly as if he is crying.

"Do you want me to stay?" you ask sheepishly.

"My dear, its up to you what you want. I'll follow you in whatever you decide. Im choosing to persue you, the rest is yours to seal."

"I want to stay." you state calmly.

"As you wish." He eyes your empty glass of water and gets up to pour you some more. When he comes back you sit against him again, and drink the glass empty, then put the glass on the coffee table and lay your head on his lap.  

"Sleepy?"

"Mhm.."

He chuckles and holds you as you fall asleep, giving you tender kisses all over your face. When you fall asleep, he carries you bridal style upstairs to your room and tucks you into your bed. For a moment he stands there and ponders leaving you to rest, but the guilt of the words he said yesterday and seeing your state today convinced him to stay at your side. He walks to the other side of the bed and crawls in beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist and gives you one more peck before falling asleep.

You wake up once in the middle of the night to use the restroom, and when you come back to your room you're awake enough to process the fact that Kaeya was indeed in your bed. You crawl up into where you were in the bed before but this time facing him. You run your fingers along his face, feeling every bone and inch of his smooth skin, his tan beauty enhanced by the glow of the moonlight that peeked in through the window across the room from the bed. Your run your fingers down his hair and admire how his hair falls down his body. You've only been this close to him once, but never had you touched him like this. Your face was red and your smile was definitely pronounced, and as you stroke his cheek his eyes slowly open to see your expression.

"Good morning y/n~" he smiles and wraps his arms around you softly.

"How did you sleep?"

"Actually, its midnight."

"Oh, i see. Well, lets fall back asleep shall we? Or are you wide awake?"

You don't respond immediately but instead wrap your arms around him and hide your face in the crook of his neck.

"Back to sleep.."

He chuckles and brings you closer to his body, rubbing your back and stroking your hair until you both are hazy and about to fall asleep.

"I love you..." you whisper, half aware of what you just said and half not.

He pauses for a second, then gently squeezes your body as if to be his response back.

"I love you too.." he whispers back, his words echo in your mind as you drift to sleep, your dreams filled with nothing but happiness and him. 

You would stay in Mondstadt, but occasionally take trips to Natlan for a few weeks, and would try to take Kaeya with you if he wasn't too busy. The two of you became inseperable, and quite the item for some time, the story of your romance left most who heard it in tears.

After every time you tell the story, he grips your hand and grabs your face softly making you look into his eye.

"I'm glad you stayed."

He says as he pulls you in for a tender kiss, which is usually embarrassing in public but you dont mind in this case, because it was of genuine emotion and not of his flirtatious teasing.

You really do love him.

NOTES!!!!!!!!!!!

This was my first fanfic LMAO

[papers4me]

now that noda is on leave, I think U should revisit ur analysis of ogata. reread the chapters & you'll discover that ogata is not a cold-blooded killing machine. He killed his mom as mercy, he killed Yuusaku to save his mission since yuusaku is likely to inform tsurumi of his plans. he killed his dad because he deserved it. He only kills if he's forced & it is always a mercy killing. Yuusaku wont make it anyway since he sucks in the military. the poor dude never noticed ogata wanted him away.

Dear anon,

I really don't know what manga you're reading cuz this is definitely NOT Golden Kamuy.

First of all, your opinion of Ogata & reading of his characters is yours & you're free to think whatever. But since you're telling me to re-read the chapters, I'll advise you do the same.

"ogata is not a cold-blooded killing machine.", Really?

Him killing his mom is NOT a mercy killing. Poisoning someone to death at the age of I duno 8 or 9 is NOT mercy killing. His mom might had mental issues but she don't deserve death.

When on earth did Yuusaku threaten to tell Tsuruni anything? Yuusakue doesn't even know anything abt central or spying or even Tsurumi?!

Yuusaku "sucks in the military" cuz he "never noticed ogata wanted him away"... so, all the training in the military is useless if a guy never suspects his own brother "prefers to be alone"?! lol. Where on GK that Yuusakue's "bad" military skills are mentioned? Ogata is NOT the center of the universe, so Yuusaku might suck at reading his brother, but excel in doing military deeds! Yuusaku might even be very observant in dealing with the foreign enemy like Russians or whatever, buy why on earth would he suspect his brother?

I've read before ppl saying that "Yuusaku only got his position the military due to his dad". That was never mentioned in the manga or volume unless I've missed sth!. He might be bad but it was NEVER stated, so why is it treated as a fact?

Killing Yuusake is sth Ogata chose to do for HIS own reasons. It has to do with his obsession of " proving everybody can be corrupted & should NOT feel guilt". What Yuusaku told his brother ( the necessity to feel guilt as a normal trait) is NOT wrong at all. On the contrary is is the truth that Ogata MUST face. Ogata wants to say " i'm normal" but children who kill their moms are NOT normal. Ogata instead of looking back at himself & dealing with his issues chose to prove that the path of death, corruption & rejection of love is the right path. It is NOT.

Killing his dad is complicated. Hanazaw is targeted by the Central, Tsurumi & Ogata. All three want him dead for three totally different reasons. By killing Hanazaw, Ogata might be serving all three (central, Tsurumi & himself).

Ogata is NOT responsible for what his mom & dad did to him. but he IS responsible for what he did to others. Being a victim does NOT excuse killing others.

Ogata is a sniper. Snipers are sole soldiers with limited ammo & a hideout that once is exposes they're in immense danger. Ogata can't just kill everybody & do whatever. He MUST weigh his options & choose his targets without exposing his hideout. That's why he doesnt kill unless he must. Not saying he's a killing machine, I'm saying things aren't as humanely as you think. It is a military style for snipers.

You can LOVE ogata as much as you want, you you dont have to cleanse him to love him. He is fictional, loving him despite knowing he killed ppl doesnt make you a horrible person. It IS fiction dude~~~~~

You can cleanse him & make him an angel that descended to save Japan, just don't try to force this in my throat. I respect that you have your own opinion, but I disagree with ALL of it. lol.

This isn't the first ask I received abt Ogata's "angelic mercy killing that he is so forced to do despite being the most innocent human there is"... Why can't Ogata's fans accept that different opinions exist. ? I like Ogata, too. My reasons? he's so mentally & emotionally corrupted & adds layers to the story that otherwise would be lost without him, Him getting redemption or dying a killer doesn't bother me as long as it's well-written & makes sense within his character & the story. you don't have to convince me of your opinion. It's okay that others think differently.

Btw, Golden Kamuy is NOT a story abt right or wrong. All the "important" characters (minus Asripa & shirashi) are cold killers with bloody hands. Yes, the main MC Sugimoto included. He isnt fighting for japan nor the minority. He's fighting to help this child he "thinks" he got her into this gold hunt & whom he object his lost innocence on. That's totally fine. GK isnt a story abt perfect justice-fighters for the-right-reasons-heroes.

Did I write sth similar before? I duno. lol.

[awxward]

A3! Boys + My Stuffed Animals

Spring Troupe:

Sakuya

Gabriel

Gabriel is a small elephant with big ears that constantly make him fall over. He has a pink bowtie that says 'I Love You'

Makes Saku feel safe and Gabriel is a reminder to himself that he's loved and appreciated by everyone at Mankai.

Named after a friend from theatre class :)

Masumi

George Washington

George Washington is a tiger. He is small, but his arms are like those slap bracelets so you can wear him on your wrist (or let him hang on the side of shelf like I do).

So I got Georgy-Boy for easter 2020. i asked my friends for name ideas. They sent me stuff like 'Stripes'. I went offline for a few minutes and when I came back online I told my friends his name was George Washington.

//////////

Me: tiger has a name now

Friend: which name did you choose?

Me: his name is George Washington.

Friend: what the fuck. how'd you get George Washington?

//////////

Pretty sure he got the name bc I was listening to the Hamilton soundtrack.

Citron

Daniel

Daniel is mostly pink but has other pastel colors that look like watercolors. He's a unicorn. And a ketchain. And he's one of those dream lites, so he lights up. (He's supposed too anyway, but he's never lit up since i got him like 7 years ago at a yard sale).

Named after Daniel Howell (formerly danisnotonfire) [YouTube]

Tsuzuru

Lucifer

Lucifer is a small panda pillow pet. Very easy to travel with bc he fits in most backpacks.

My mom told me she wanted me to have a stuffed animal with a biblical name, i picked him up, looked her in the eye and said "His name is Lucifer." My mom tried to protest. "You said a biblical name, Mom. Lucifer is in the bible."

Itaru

Pao(???)

Pao is a panda. They are also a phone holder thingy. Like it'll hold your phone if you're watching movies or whatever.

Like 5-ish years old. Got them from a friend. They have a tag with their name on it, but I read it once and then just called them "the panda" for some reason instead of their actual name and now the tag is too faded to read the name, but i am 38% sure it says Pao or something close to that.

Chikage

Tsuki

Tsuki is a dinosaur. Tsuki is a sparkly dino. He's green rn, but if you brush your hand over him, the sparkles turn over and he becomes orange. I like green tho bc his tummy and the bottom of his feet are orange and so are his eyes.

Named after Tsukishima Kei (Haikyuu)

Summer Troupe:

Tenma

Hinata

Hinata is a narwhal. A bright orange narwhal. Infact he is the same color as Tenma's hair.

Named after Hinata Shoyo (Haikyuu) [bc its the same color as his hair. there is a theme with this narwhal and the anime boys i associate with them]

Yuki

Steve

Steve is a regular teddy bear, except he has a shirt that has pikachu on it. (the shirt was originally Tsuki's bc i got tsuki at a friends build a bear bday party, but it fits Steve better)

I just think Yuki would try new designs/color schemes/styles by making clothes for Steve to see how they look.

I got Steve from a claw machine (my bf at time won him for me just before we watched Endgame together.)

Named after Steve Rogers (Marvel)

Muku

Eeyore

Muku most definitely loves the Winnie the Pooh movies and I will fite for this hc. He gets my Eeyore. You know how Eeyore's tail is always going missing or falling off??? Eeyore's tail comes off (velcro) but its attached to his actual body with a string so it cant be misplaced.

Eeyore has a patch that says "official disney store" but i got him for $3 at a thrift store.

Misumi

Sherlock

Sherlock is a polar bear. Sherlock is very huggable. He makes Misumi feel safe. He has a hat and scarf (that don't come off. they are sewn on him)

the hat has a pom pom on top and the scarf has a pom pom on each end. the hat and scarf and the bottom of his feet have a blue/white plaid pattern.

Kazunari

Victor

Victor is a puppy and the first big stuffed animal of mine on the list! He's all tan and abt maybe 3-4 ft long. Victor lays pretty flat so he's comfy to lay/sit on. I think Kazu would like sitting or laying on him when drawing. Probably has him on his bed so he's like a giant pillow.

Victor is from Toys R Us. I got him last August-ish from my Aunt and Uncle who found him at a thrift store and thought I'd like him.

Named after Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice)

Kumon

PJ

PJ is a small white tiger. He is also a ball. He can fit in one hand. When Kumon is thinking or stressed or bored (etc) he just lays on his back and tosses PJ up into the air.

When Kumon is laying on the floor tossing PJ, Misumi sits on the bed closest to where PJ is and tries to grab him (but only if Kumon is in a good mood and okay with it) It's a fun little game they made up they like to play.

Pretty sure he was named after KickthePJ (YouTube)

liber pls give us a pic with all of autumn i am begging

Autumn Troupe:

Banri

Sammy

Sammy is another one of my large stuffed animals. He is also a puppy, but unlike Victor he is sitting instead of laying. He's abt 2-3 ft tall. His fur is the same color as Banri's hair. Great to squeeze at anytime, but very therapeutic when you're in a bad mood. Has a heart on his ear.

i got him abt 7 years ago. I had just finished spn season 2 and was upset abt the finale and had no way to start season 3.

Named after Sam Winchester

Juza

Tiggs

Tiggs is a beanie baby tiger. Tiggs is a little larger than PJ (and not a ball). He's a regular orange tiger instead of a white tiger like PJ. He'd buy Kumon PJ so they could have matching stuffed animals. Small and very comforting to just hold/hug.

Omi

Benedict (Ben)

Benedict, also known as Ben, is a small koala. Just a little bigger than Tiggs. He has a heart on one of his feet (i think the right one). very soft. very fluffy.

Named after Benedict Cumberbatch (Actor)

Taichi

Dean

Dean is my largest stuffed animal. He is a dark brown teddy bear that's abt 4-ish ft tall. He can be put in a corner and used as like a bean bag chair, or he can lay down flat and be a good pillow like Victor can.

It's very fun to just wrap around him and squeeze as tight as you can. Especially in when your in a bad mood. Very comforting to cry into.

I got him a couple years ago at a thrift store.

Named after Dean Winchester (Supernatural)

Sakyo

Lev

Lev is a lion abt the size of a regular teddy bear (maybe slightly larger). I got him a thrift store so he's slightly worn out from age. He's mostly a pastel dark yellow-ish tan and his mane is dark brown. very huggable.

He's the stuffed animal I sleep with. Smells nice all the time, like the fabric softener.

Named after Lev Haiba (Haikyuu)

Sakoda

Emotional Support Iron Man

So Iron Man is small and he sparkles. He will hurt you/someone if thrown hard enough. Sakoda likes heroes bc they remind him of Sakyo they look cool. I'd hc that he got Iron Man from Sakyo when he was younger and its one of his most valued possessions and goes everywhere with him (or stays with Azamo or Sakyo at the dorm. Maybe Izumi or a couple others are on the list of who can watch over Iron Man.) Very protective of it.

Got the emotional support part of his name from a friend.

She saw Eddie Redmayne on a movie cover (think it was The Danish Girl) and started freaking out bc she loved him. I handed her the Iron Man and the next day she thanked me and said he was an Emotional Support Iron Man and the name stayed.

Azami

[Emotional Support] Spooder-Mon

Sakoda knew Azami as a kid. He most definitely got him the Spider-Man so they could have matching plushies.

Spider-Man is square and has little blob hands doing the web thingy. The tag said travel pillow, but he probably just chills by Azami's bed. When needed, Iron Man will be placed next to him if Sakoda can't take Iron Man with him.

I brought him to school one day and we had a bio test and all the people sitting around me passed him around and gave him a pat for good luck. We all got good grades and then he was dubbed as Emotional Support Spooder-Mon, but the Emotional Support title isnt part of his name (unlike the Iron Man).

i wanted guy in the pic, but i also wanted tsumu and hiso in the pic so you get 2 pics for winter

Winter Troupe:

Tsumugi

Phil

Phil is a zebra. He is a pillow pet zebra. Like Lucifer, Phil is also easy travel size. The bottom half of Phil is pink, so I refer to him as my pink zebra.

I just think it'd be cute to have Tsumugi with a pillow pet ok. I also thought he'd probably have has Phil for many years (since he was a kid) and Tasuku most definitely brings up things from when they were kids and shit.

//////////

Tasuku: you chose the pink zebra, and for what???

Tsumugi: its a very aesthetically pleasing pastel pink.

Tasuku: THERE WAS A DOG PILLOW PET RIGHT THERE AND IT WAS CUTER

Tsumugi: dont talk bad abt Phil.

the rest of mankai: ????????

//////////

I got phil before I got Lucifer many years ago. He was old when i got him and he is very old now. I love him so much.

Named after Phil Lester (AmazingPhil) [YouTube]

Tasuku

Cap

Cap is a husky. He was won from a claw machine with Steve.

There's just something abt the grey and white that gave me Tasuku vibes. Also, Cap's eyes are abt the same shade of blue as Tsumugi's and Tasuku knows this bc they are in love. Very squishy when hugged and with the way he sits, you could make it look like he's guarding something.

Named after Captain America (Marvel)

Homare

Ushijima (Ushi)

Ushijima, also called Ushi, is the last of my giant stuffed animals. He is abt 2-3 ft tall (like Sammy) and has a tail abt the same length.

Ushi is a raccoon thats mostly hot pink. Ushi's eyes are also pink and just abt the same shade as Homare's hair, although Ushi's fur is brighter by a few shades.

Ushi hurts when thrown/swung hard enough. Very fun to hug bc he's filled with beans (like beanie babies) so unlike all my other giant animals, he doesn't have to be fixed/adjusted after everytime you squeeze him. The tail has cotton tho and makes a good pillow.

Homare would definitely just see a 3 ft tall hot pink raccoon and claim it with no explanation.

Named after Ushijima Wakatoshi (Haikyuu)

Hisoka

Vladmir Dracula the 3rd (Vlad, Drac)

Vladmir Dracula the 3rd, who has many other names but usually goes by Vlad or Drac, is a vampire (surprise).

Vlad is a squishmallow thingy, and their tags say something abt them being able to be used as pillows, and thats why Hisoka gets Vlad.

Vlad is triangular in shape, with triangle ears, and triangle fangs, so I thought abt Misumi, but i figured Hisoka bc it's a pillow.

He's like the perfect travel size and he has a cape and a bowtie.

Named after Vlad the Impaler, the real life inspiration behind Dracula (my brother thought he was named after Vladmir Putin and I wanted to punch him for that but I was too busy laughing.)

Also named after Dracula, who was a vampire.

Idk where 'the 3rd' came from, but it's part of his name for forever.

Azuma

Sebastian

Sebastian is a dinosaur thats blue with a white tummy.

He's also a squishmallow, but he's bigger than Vlad by abt 2× as wide, so he'd be harder to carry around, which is why Hisoka got Vlad instead. Being a squishmallow means he looks more blob than dinosaur and i love it.

His tag said his name was Dominic or something, but I named him Sebastian before I actually checked the tag, so he's Sebastian.

Named after Sebastian (Black Butler) and Sebastian Stan (Actor)

Guy

Moriarty

Moriarty is my other polar bear. I got him with Sherlock and named him Moriarty bc Moriarty is Sherlock's nemesis.

He's just a plain white bear thats very huggable and adorable. I usually have a bowtie on him bc it makes him look fancy.

Guy would like him bc he's plain white and very fluffy.

[pwnyta]

Okay, so like… I follow a lot of artists on Twitter, and sometimes I would see pretty… desperate for attentions ones, I guess?.. so, there this one artist, she have a pretty cute artstyle, she draws pretty frequently and think she have 8k+ followers, but the problem is that…… how to say it? She rarely would get any comments under her posts. And I know that I am gonna sound like a complete bitch, but I DO believe that’s because of how desperate she seems… like she would often post things like “my art is ugly ueueue” or “no one likes more works” or in description of the new work she will be like “comment for me if you like my new work!!” and honestly… then again, it might just be me… but I feel like a lot of people that follow her really dislike her desperate attitude. Like, girl… you have a good artstyle and everything, but of the times she comes off as someone who is either fishing for compliments or just someone who needs constant validation. I mean, she creates fanarts for a pretty popular fandom and draws a pretty popular character, and I feel like the only reason that she doesn’t get as much attention (like comments, everything is fine with likes) as other artists bc of her attitude. Like, I understand that it really shitty of me to talk about it, but I will be honest, every time I see a person (no matter how talented) who is constantly asking for validation and comments/likes, the less I want to give it to them. I think what is even worse is she would upload her own photos sometimes, and like, she pretty attractive, but I feel bc she constantly calls herself “ugly” when she does this a lot people just choose to ignore her… and I feel really bad about it, but also, I REALLY don’t want be under her comments and be another person to say “nooooo what r u saying ure pretty!!!”

Honestly I am not even sure why I’ve sent it bc I feel very bad for feeling this way (esp bc this person probably just have a low self esteem) but she (and other ppl who do this) just feel so pathetic and I am like… I really like your works and your style, I like what you put out for the fandom and I am grateful for this, but I really, REALLY don’t like your personality and how you conduct yourself. Like, this is not the worst behavior in the world, but it’s still pretty annoying 😭

Yeah I dont think theres inherently anything wrong for wanting to receive validation it really does keep some people motivated to keep drawing or writing or w/e. Fandom isnt very fun when its just you really..

This chicks problem is that she wants it and instead of just being open about her feelings shes trying to set up people to do it and no one likes that somewhat sneaky way of doing things. Self depreciation can be relatable but if its too obviously a ploy for a compliment the people who do/also feel that was are just gonna roll their eyes.

And honestly drawing for popular fandoms and characters... does she even like them? Because people can tell when someone is just doing things because they want the attention and not because they necessarily like the thing. Its most obvious when watching like a lets play or something but people can pick up on it and it just makes watching hard for people who do like the thing. From what it sounds like she seems the type.

Dont feel bad for ignoring her... other (presumably adult) people are not your responsibility especially when you guys arent even friends. Like you do not have to worry about it.

[cookiesandkatanas]

I've always had Big Thoughts about Smith and how being/presenting male was a huge detriment to the whole "picking up vulnerable people and drowning them" thing. People are gonna be suspicious of a 6 foot guy trying to get you in his car.

So here are some of my headcanons that answer this issue

a kelpie's true form is a horse adjacent creature. you know, the creepy waterlogged #fae horses.

young kelpies first learn glamours for the anatomically similar horse, but the ability to shape reality in relation to themselves is powerful, as it is in most water fae. Theyll soon be able to shift their entire physical form, not just the perception of it. Of course, the next most natural form is a horse. And to interact with humans beyond hunting, well, you gotta look like a human.

Any glamour or form a kelpie takes is basically a costume, the individual is *choosing* how to look

SHAPESHIFTERS ARE ALWAYS NONBINARY

(personal aside, I've been off T for a while and god I feel like a completely different PERSON so) different bodies literally affect Smith's personality, to an extent.

femme!Alex loves the mind games. She prefers to toy with people, both for her own amusement, and if they're prey, well, their emotional high of fear is one more tasty thing she gets to munch on when she finally drowns them. Her favorite food is emotional energy.

femme!Alex pros: seeks out people already leading chaotic lives, and her clean drownings mean she can usually make a pretty penny selling a body nobody will even be looking for for a few days.

Trott is convinced since shes always feeding off all that riled up emotional energy, shes more riled up and emotional. He swears shes more impulsive, more sexual.

masc!Smith lives for the pleasures of the flesh. food and fucking, and for him, they're one and the same. he wouldnt be able to tell you which he liked more, feeding on the sexual energy before the drowning, or the flesh and blood he ate afterwards

masc!Smith pros: usually content with smashing stuff/someone up, no patience or interest in making up and playing out drawn out political games for fun. Intimidating presence. More in tune with the water (the local water fae hate when they're Alex, she always says she'll visit but she NEVER does >:c

Trott doesnt like how Smith always runs hot, temper or sex drive or energy.

History:

True name: Alsmiffy. Got to the city in early 1900s, before cars are common. They had to get a job to pay for a place to live, and only men could do that, so human male form it was. Kelpies dont really have a concept of gender, so Alsmiffy doesnt mind their pronouns matching their current form. In the evenings it was still easy to hunt down by the river as a horse.

By the 40s horses had nearly disappeared from the city, and no one was approaching wild ones anymore. Smith started working as a taxi chauffeur, driving people about, drowning a few every so often.

In the 60s they started moving towards the hunting style of present day, using the lure of sex to draw in prey. This is when they started presenting as female more regularly.

Of course, Trott gets fed up with all the shit Alsmiffy pulls. But always wrongly blames it on their form. If Alex is impulsive and sexual, and Smith is hot headed and hot blooded, maybe the issue isnt the body, it's the person, lmao.

As Alsmiffy becomes more comfortable male and female presenting, they spend longer amounts of time in one body or the other. Trott finds some reason or other to ask them to change ("hey can you seduce ___?" or "hey can you be extra muscle at ___?") and they're usually too indifferent to shift back.

As this goes on, Alsmiffy is cultivating two different social circles worth of court favor, but only one at a time, and usually only one for weeks at a time. The sharper and more well connected people put together that the siblings manage some other affairs out of the city, and whatever it is cant be left alone for very long, because one or the other is always out there. Rumors fly wildly about what it may be.

The Troffy Feels

In present day, Alsmiffy has started to realize Trott resents both of their regular human bodies. Instead of addressing the issue of Alsmiffy leaving chaos behind them, Trott postpones the issue again and again by derailing Alsmiffy's focus whenever their collateral damage gets too much. Trott's resentment only grows because the issue keeps coming up, and Alsmiffy just gets increasingly aggressive requests to "go get your 'brother/sister'"

Of course, because its Alsmiffy, this is the gravest of insults and must be responded to as a challenge. (You dont like me now? Oh you'll see how bad I can be.) As time wears on, they start to take it more and more personally, and it becomes the spectre hanging over their relationship.

Ross, who joined them in 60s-80s (not sure exactly when yet) never saw their relationship any other way, and has no other reference for relationships, tries his best to talk them down individually. It doesnt always work, and he usually clears out when they're all together, to give them some time and space to talk things out. (Trott and Alsmiffy both resent the other for always escalating arguments to the point where Ross wont even be in the same room as them)

Despite it all, Trott and Alex have never touched each others' keys/skin. All three of them tell themselves that means they're okay, they wouldnt cross that line so they still respect each other, still love each other. On the worst days that feels like the only assurance they have.

__________________________________________________________________________________

All these headcanons are being refined thanks to my ongoing Urban Shadows game, a ttrpg made by Magpie Games, run on Powered by the Apocalypse.

It is such a great game, even if you're not adapting it to run umy, lmao. The team is working on 2nd edition out later this year, but a quick start version is out now and I'm p sure it's free on drivethruRPG

[semi-imaginary-place]

I started watching deca-dence

1: oh what was that called. there’s a name for this tech aesthetic.... also the city is floating on monster goo which is also their energy resource... is that really a good design?????? why is there open access to the monster goo i mean those kids are totally going to fall in. Oh boss dude’s a super secret agent thing. lots of reveals this ep. That action sequence at the end was really cool but wow i do not like those squishing sound effects. also, of all the livestock to raise, why cows??? per pound of protein, cows are horribly inefficient especially when land and resources like water are scare.

2. We have a post apocalyptic society and they kept bagpipes of all things??? I’ve noticed this in fiction and perhaps this is true of real life but sustained conflict coincides with the glorification of the warrior/soldier social class. oh god and now the creators are doing a post moderist take, yay capitalism. this is a good take on the isekai “transported to a game world”/mmo lightnovel genre (see past post). what makes something “real” I was playing of a ttrpg around that concept... mikey’s got all the flags to die horrifically and be part of kaburagi’s tragic backstory. lol kaburagi got turned into a mod. There’s also something dehumanizing and horrifying in managing a society like this all to maintain the status quo. so let’s see if I have this straight, the remnants of capitalism made deca-dence and then a bunch of little robot people who are incentivized via a game system to destroy the squishy monsters. the city design makes sense now it wasn’t made with things like safety or efficiency or any regard for the residents in mind, it was made to look cool. Living in a fuel tank is exactly the type of bullshit to expect from a videogame.

3: kurenai has the vibes of that one cool npc that the the main character out grows to show how strong you’ve become. (the trope is rife with misogyny. who was the one that talked about it? ... femfreq?), wonder what the show will do with it. good job deconstructing the instant expert trope. lit. unregulated capitalism. what is corporations replaced government but for little cyborg people. curious about this minato guy. the 175 years until decommission or whatever makes me wonder how long all of this has been going on. on the screen with the eurasia bubble, were other structures, so i wonder whats happening elsewhere in the world.

4. the game trailer style shots.... the juxtaposition of the tankers discussing battle strategy for a life or death situation, with the cyborgs excited for the next raid event and talking about the game’s story is real good. its a revolving door of mood whiplash. oof dramatic irony since the entertainment corp also seems to control gadoll numbers. Why do none of the Power wear armor? oh right aesthetics and game logic, i answered my own question. I was thinking about this for a little while but kaburagi really does have the set up to be an isekai/mmo light novel protag so I’m really glade we have natsume as well. If done improperly her character type can get kind of annoying, the show did a good job of humanizing her which is important since so much of the disconnect between a game world and a lived reality hinges on her. why isn’t altitude sickness a problem for anyone?

5. yikes. saved twice within the first 10 minutes. maybe dont charge in there natsume. and it was the cool lady too! oh shit limit release. now the stakes are up. isnt kaburagi totally going to get his little head chopped off and the his little green battery extracted.

...

...

...

6. I’ve always had a soft spot for the struggle against the inevitable and unmovable. i was wondering how they were managing the squishies population. just where is this lake? what weird ass hazing system has kaburagi ended up in... is this the slow part of the anime? where they save up frames for the finale?

7. i just realized that kaburagi purposefully chose dog faced characters twice in a row. like he can choose to look like whatever he wants and he good, i feel comfortable looking like this. good for him. How did they punch a hole in the wal anyways, mechanically? with gadoll? We’ve see that they can either change the projection surrounding deca-dence, or actually have full control of all material int he bubble. oh kabu-san you are finally starting to think. but its not the gadoll that are the root of the problem, its the deca-dence system. btw since cyborgs run on the green juice which i think is made from gadolls??? how does kabu plan on fueling everyone. he hasn’t thought about it has he. of course the gadoll have a kill switch. do the tankers have one...?

8. a setup episode. my heart was racing during the avatar retrieval part, so much tension. jill is great. not sure why kaburagi doesnt just tell natsume whats going on. i do think it’d be a shock and a lot to take in just like when the gadoll reset on the mountain, but it’d make coordinating much easier. as is taking her along while not telling her whats going on doesnt feel right. also the green slanty eyed cyborgs given me bad vibes from the start, after all he’s the one that told mikey about removing the limiter. I’m kinda sad we only have 12 episodes so we have to enter the finale already. i would have loved to see the tanker teams, natsume and fei, and minato and kaburagi relationships fleshed out.

9. YEAH YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER EARLIER. so she would have time to process all that world shaking information not in the middle of the operation when it could cost her her life! also doesn’t this mean all the cyborgs still alive are now trapped in the waste disposal place.

10. i totally forgot about that tunnel. that said it looks kinda fragile, how’d it survive the explosion? And how did the robo crew get a hideout?? jill is amazing. she’s like a wizard. Natsume just doesn’t get a break, no ones explained to her the cyborg-avatar thing. I’m too invested in this show to analyze anything.

11. holy shit i wonder what the last few episodes were going to be about. they’re going to black hole the whole place. also we can finally hear pipopi! I thought it a bit funny pruple nose seemed to be taking advice for them but really eh was taking orders? so minato did the tremendously stupid thing of logging out and then hopping on a shuttle to get from orbit to deca-dence so he could talk to kaburagi face to face. even if they take out the gadoll, that doesn’t stop the deca0dence system from having a kill switch on the bubble.

12. POMDOROSA DID THE END SCENE ART. it really is 7 degrees of separation, they have a tumblr here. right as the natsume flashbacks started, I knew what was going to happen. Was it really safe inside the drill thing?? ah whatever. Kaburagi really went all out and busted himself huh. He probably didn’t actually need to use so much force that it’d break decadence. ah I’m rambling. I binged watched this show in 1 day. i started tearing up at the natsume flahsbacks... I dont remember what i just watched it was pure experience. I do wonder whats happening on other continents.. Jill! I can’t believe it took you 3 years to organize your files and find kaburagi’s backup! well i mean its realistic but still.

Deca-Dence is very good, like not even talking about the thematic stuff the execution in both animation and writing are both really good.

[taehyungsgrowl]

SFW Alphabet for Nate

I think I did it wrong last time bc I was waiting for people to send me letters when I was just supposed to go down the list. But I’m a dummy so disregard half of what I say.

i hope you guys like them and thank you virgo anon for the input w these 🥺i love our baby 🥺

Here we go:

A- Activity (What is their favorite activity to do with you.)

-- i think he likes doing new things w you. and i know that sounds cliche BUT hear me out. duncan is a bit of a home body 🥺loves to be curled up w reader sharing kissies and cuddling. nate enjoys that too but i think trying new adventures w you is his favorite. i can see him being the type to like hiking dates!! (also lets not forget the tik tok videos you guys make together )

B- Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of a relationship)

-- considering the beginning did start off as something kinda casual between him and reader, he kept it as such. but he’s such a natural charmer that even when he’s not trying, he just comes across as super sweet. they’d finish hooking up and he’d offer her to stay over or get them food (not bc he felt like he needed to but it’s just the kinda guy he is) i think he probably let his goofy side out right at the beginning as well. its what helped y/n open up to him and feel at ease w him 🥺

C- Communication (Are they good communicators? How do they normally talk about their problems or solve issues)

-- big sigh. nate? was the KING of communication!! hell! he was able to talk to duncan (who ISNT the best at communicating) when they weren’t even friends and helped him talk to dumb!reader. plus he’d always been open about his feelings. told y/n right away when he knew he was in love. (i only say he WAS bc he should have told y/n he was struggling before he ended up in the hospital 🥺)

D- Drunk (What are they like when they’re drunk)

-- koala bear cuddly drunk!! not just between him and reader! but he will love on anyone! (omg.. you know dunc was a little 😳when drunk!bro!nate started hugging him... hiding his face in duncs neck... telling he smells good... telling him how much he loves him... bros 👯‍♂️)

E- Emergency (How are they in emergency situations? You get hurt, they get hurt, someone is dying etc..)

— oh god. nate is the type to keep cool and collected in an emergency - even if he were the one having an emergency 🥺 like if reader would’ve been w him during his car accident, she would have been worried sick over him and he’d just be like, “hey, look at me. i’m okay, yeah? a lot stronger than i look, babe.” even if it hurt like hell because he doesn’t wanna worry her. if you were in an emergency or got hurt, he’d go into sexy doctor mode. “tell me where it hurts.” squeezing your hand to reassure you, “i got you.” also kissies where it hurts 🥺 and he’s such a good listener too wow we have no choice but to simp.

F- Free Spot (I’ll give you any headcanon I come up with)

-- i’m just gonna share one head canon that virgo anon tossed at me that really made me 🥺 baby nate 🥺 and how when he was younger he was always a nice boy 🥺 but wasnt the popular or “hot” one until he grew into himself in college 🥺 when he got maxie and it helped him manage his stress enough to be able to make connections 🥺y’all when she said that it made me heart 🥺 my sweet boy

G- Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they get?)

-- i think his gifts are rarely “over the top” but !! they’re simple and personalized!!! like a lil necklace w his initials / name 🥺or maybe he has someone make a picture of you two into an animation? like have someone draw you guys (do u know what im talking about?) as far as gifts for him, he enjoys like “interactive gifts” like sending him on a lil scavenger hunt (nate loves setting them up for you too 🥺) but if you set one up for HIM? god! he’d love you!

H- Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle)

-- nate loves! loves! to give forehead kissies (not just because he’s tall fjhsjh) and being hugged (or picked up) in his strong arms!! loves it!! he loves being the big spoon 🥺i love him. 

I- Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show their irritation?)

-- that reader continues to choose duncan over him fkjsvsfkv he wears his heart on his sleeve so i think when nate is upset or irritated... you know. 

J- Jackpot (How would they spend their winnings if they won the lottery?)

-- does nate have more $ than the shepherds? debatable. but he isn’t as... flashy w his money as duncan is. he’s a little more down to earth if that makes sense. BUT thats besides the point. he’d probably donate a lot to a charity of his choice than take you on a little get away. maybe a cross country road trip 🥺 or off to an island getaway. he’s flexible. 

K- Kryptonite (What is their ultimate weakness?)

-- virgo anon made me 🥺when we were talking about this bc nate would do anything for the people he loves and 🥺that gets him hurt. especially when he feels like those people dont love him in the way he does them 🥺

L- Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

-- clown!! nate is the guy that always keeps you laughing 🥺and most times he cant even contain his own laughter omg i will cry im in love with one man

M- Morning ( How do they wake up in the morning? Are they a morning person or a morning grouch?)

-- he’s a morning person 🥺 likes to start off his morning with a run and protein shake SMH fitness KING. 

N- Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? How do they show it?)

-- he’s so used to being the one who’s needed 🥺 it takes him a while to be comfy being vulnerable and needy. idk if there’s anything in particular that sets him off to be like this - but i’d like to think it happens at random. like youre on the couch and he just nuzzles his face on your tummy for you to pet his hair. he demonstrates it by wanting to be close to you 🥺

O- Oasis (Where is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

-- i think he’d be the kinda guy that enjoys the sun (not just bc he looks hot, shirtless on a beach) but yes. somewhere nice and sunny where he could have maxie w him 🥺if he could stay on the beach where he started falling for dumb!reader (with her) for ever he would 🥺

P- Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle when you are in pain?)

-- emotional or physical? jfgksjdgsdk but no i think if he’s well regulated, he can handle pain well - it’s when he’s not that it’s a problem (w emotional pain) he stops taking care of himself the way he should and really spirals into his head a lot you know 🥺i think he can handle others being in pain better than himself bc he loves a lot and its easier to focus his attention on trying to fix things for them (like we said his biggest weakness is doing too much for those he loves)

Q- Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship)

-- “loving is easy” fjskfsf not to be too corny but 🥺being w nate was easy... always on the same page.. and made her feel good. 🥺

R- Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing you after a long time of being apart)

-- lots!!! of kissies!! picking you up!! holding you close!!! physical touch is pretty high on his love language list i think 🥺(i think quality time or acts of service might be his top two though) 

S- Stress (What stresses them out? How do deal with stress and how do they relieve it?)

-- i generally think duncan is more of a control freak than nate, but i do think to some extent, they’re similar that when things feel out of their control, it really stresses them out. i think it manifests at different times. i think for duncan its more trivial things whereas w nate, if he feels like he could be doing something to “fix” something and he cant do anything it freaks him out. hes a healer, you know. i think working out is a big stress reliever for him 🥺my strong baby!! that and goofing off w reader 🥺

T- Terror (What are they afraid of?)

-- this kinda ties into his weakness (and could be amplified by his younger years) but he’s afraid of not really being enough for those he loves. especially if he was teased as a kid 🥺maybe thats why in a lot of his nightmares the theme of abandonment appears a lot 🥺i made myself SAD 🥺

U- Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

-- i asked virgo anon for help on this one 🥺and i love her so much 🥺 nate tugs on his hair when he’s nervous 🥺 he gets a lil annoyed after he buzzes it off and doesnt have much to pull on 🥺he likes to hold hands when spooning. loves to sing along to disney movies (but lets be honest, he’s the real prince KING)

V- Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

-- well... idk if it’s fair to say he fights a lot because he tries not to resort to that - especially grad school nate. mostly because he knows he’s good at fighting. omfg... boxer!nate.... may have all my rights. and he doesn’t really wanna hurt anyone. BUT if needed!!! he will throw down. (ex. when dunc wouldnt let y/n leave the house. and then attacked him!! nate had to stand his ground 😌

W- Wow (What do you do that really surprises them? What do you do that they really like?)

-- idk i think nate was probably really surprised when reader gave him that second chance at friendship in the bathroom 🥺didnt think she would. on a lighter note, surprising him w fresh cooked meals always make him 🥺because... he’s trying but hasnt mastered the cooking thing yet.

X- (Explicit headcanon. For all you degenerates)

-- he’s uhh packing 😳and it hits all the right spots, you know 😳omfg and lets not forget the dickscussion we had about his head game being stronger than duncans 😌

Y- Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly that they can’t deal with it?)

-- i wasnt sure what really grossed out medical professionals (if anything djsfs) but we kinda head canon for him to be into family / pediatric medicine so anything w LOTS of blood loss probably freaks him out 

Z- ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits? Both with and without you)

-- my baby. nate has really bad night terrors especially on bad(tm) days. it usually helps to have someone w him to be able to keep him calm when he wakes up 🥺if its not y/n you can bet maxie will be there for tons of kissies. he’s a sleep talker 🥺and when sleeping w you he loves being big spoon 🥺and when he’s alone, he kinda sleeps curled up and w a lot of pillows. comfort KING

[beetlemancy]

Not angry venting but more gosh i really dislike that i keep trying to get back into watching live then I see matt making a rules calling that isnt correct and IM annoyed and i hate *that* emotional response, (specifically in this case not letting jester drop conc - which by the rules she is very much allowed to do at anytime), so again not angry venting *at matt* and more gosh i wish i didnt have standards on matt that he has no responsibility to me to keep, but somehow i still care about :(

hey, I’m gonna put the rest of your (relevant) asks and my response to them under this read more for brevity, and encourage anyone who gets up in their feelings about this ask to read the followups because they are far more important for context on this subject - AND please know that these asks were sent before the stuff that went down later in the episode. Also, those reading should take their time because its a wishy washy subject that can get sensitive but this is absolutely done in good faith and I think its important for us to acknowledge these feelings in ourselves when they come up!(also the last time I posted a long ass post like this the format got all wonky after I looked at it on mobile, so if its all one big paragraph - it was not intended to be that way and i’ll fix it soon)

Ask 2-3: just sent that ask and i want to clarify, its not bad matt not being RAW, follow the rules or perish. its more, hes a great dm and making a rules call that disadvantages the players for a reason i can not understand at all makes me feel not happy despite the fact that i know im not a player and this isnt actually effecting me personally, yet i sit here with my negative emotions and idea how to force myself to not feel them :(((((i told myself that was going to be my last ask of the night but for the sake of being clear with you) i also wonder how much of my being upset about being upset is that i dont want to be in the same camp as twitter / reddit ppl who get on matt about rules calls and are cruel to him about it, and just agreeing with their base statement makes me feel like im saying its okay to do that

Mmk. There’s sort of two main subjects I wanna cover: the action and the feeling.The basic truth is that occasionally we get feelings that remind us of the rage of people we do not want to be. This is human, and it happens in life in so many ways, not just in fandom. However, I’ll stick with CR for now. We see the Twitter and Reddit threads that berate Matt and the players for rule issues and we think, we would never be that up in our feelings, right? But it is so much less about what we feel and more about what our actions are. 

The people who make those posts? Some of them are full of so much hate for something that they just use this as an opportunity to lash out. Others are genuinely trying to be helpful and just don’t understand the concept that they are not the only person on the internet and that often times one person saying something is benign but that hundreds of people saying it is malicious. Sometimes people might not even feel that much about the subject but want to join the fight because its something to do or because their peers/friends are.

What defines the result of ANY rules lawyering post online is not the reason they made the post, though, is it? Its simply that they did. Their intent doesn’t really matter that much - a post was still made, and posts were made on top of that post, and those posts, and now we’ve got a flame war - intent be damned.

By the same nature, if you don’t make that post? It doesn’t matter what your feelings are on the topic. You choose to not add to that noise. Take that win and feel good about it! (btw, sending someone an ask to parse through your feelings on the subject isn’t ‘making that post’ either)

Okay. Now - about the feelings.

I’m honestly with you there and have been the last few combat scenarios. I’ve noticed myself wondering if Matt is getting more and more ‘me vs them’ in his combat DM style because it feels that way to me. I’m guessing that a lot of my discomfort also has to do with my inherent sense of black-and-white Fairness - being Autistic comes with that privilege for a lot of us. ADHD Cousins can get theirs in maroon I think, but they have to order it special. ;)

I grapple a lot with my feelings on combat in CR when it does start to feel antagonistic or unfair to one or more players (or sometimes even Matt himself!). Here is what I do: well, for one, compartmentalize until the next day or two. CR brings up a lot of feelings. Its a lot of story and I get super immersed. The emotions are high for everyone during a good episode, sometimes especially during combat, and so I allow myself the cool down time before I really look at it again.

After that time, if I still feel the same way and it still bugs me, I watch stuff where they talk about how much they love each other. I play that clip of Liam saying ITS A GAME! over and over. I get super in deep with the Critmas vids or another Talks episode I really love. That’s what helps me kick it, in the end. The visual and auditory reminder that these are friends and sometimes friends have a little tension when they are all in a state of high adrenaline but that they clearly would not do this if it wasn’t fun for them anymore. 

I do have a buddy of mine that is really hardcore Justice. He is, straight up, like Justice from Dragon Age. The guy is Fairness with a capital F, and his method of dealing is different from mine: he doesn’t watch combat from any TTRPG show. He just avoids it, because he doesn’t wanna be That Guy on reddit, but the intensity with which he feels the call to correct wrongs is very strong. He takes himself out of the equation, reads a recap or asks friends, and then can engage healthily with the RP and the story outside of combat. Its a good system for him.

Maybe you can find a method similar to either of these options? Maybe you just need a healthy place to vent about it. For that, I’d suggest a discord or a friend (or me off anon and then I won’t publish if you ask me not to! or send me a pm!). Or perhaps you need to reevaluate how you watch CR and what you’re willing to give up in order to not feel this way. Or maybe binge watching some quality CR wholesomeness will help those feelings dampen. Either way, you are not Wrong for feeling. We just have to watch our actions.