#if they'd been heavy

[yellowgnomeboots]

Health stuff under the cut - discussion of menstruation and pain and useless doctors and being suicidal. Long. I have a lot of distress regarding this topic. No obligation to read even if you're my friend (same as any post but just don't upset yourself you know?). I just need to get it out and maybe it will help somehow. I'm writing this after and it hasn't helped so far but like maybe lol.

I want to try stopping taking the contraceptive pill to see if it is responsible for any of my fatigue. I thought I was ready but I'm much too scared and every time I try and think about I cry.

Along with the general inconvenience of bleeding and other inconvenient symptoms plus ruining a couple of pairs of knickers every time, it was just really painful.

I'd have half a day at about 8 on the pain scale I guess. Plus maybe a bit of throwing up, and rocketing between sweating and freezing. Then that would go away and there'd be 2-4 days of feeling lesser pain and feeling miserable, the level of miserable more or less equivalent to a bad cold where you can make yourself to do stuff but preferentially would just curl up in bed all day, then another 2-4 reduced symptoms again about the equivalent of a mild cold e.g. where you'd preferentially do light activities like read a book and play computer games but you can make yourself go to work/school and feel miserable.

I used to be suicidal thinking about how I had to go through this every month for the rest of my life until menopause. I was so anxious all the time that I'd get my period at the same time as something important (it was not predictable). I had to lie to my doctor (tell them I had a boyfriend and wanted to have sex) to get on the contraceptive pill because I'd been refused 3 times to be prescribed it to see if it would help manage symptoms. The only help I got was the advice to use OTC pain killers (which didn't work at all), a hot water bottle (no effect, possibly worse), and "light yoga" (did try this but any movement of my abdominal area made it worse).

When I went on the pill I got told I had to have those "breaks" where you take the sugar pills and get a small period or it would be bad for me. That was much better but still somewhat unpleasant physically and very unpleasant emotionally. Period products have a particular smell - I don't know if it is the plastic they use or the glue or what - and every time I had to get out a pad I would smell it and have a spike of anxiety/panic. I couldn't even walk down that aisle in the supermarket or the smell would set it off. Eventually I found some earthy organic cotton pads in a recycled cardboard box in a health food shop that I could use without panicking.

Eventually I went on a continuous pill and didn't have to think about it again until recently.

I've got some codeine I didn't use for my wisdom teeth removal but its pretty strong. Its almost not worth taking it for half day of pain and I don't know what to do for the week of misery afterwards for which codeine would kind of knock me out so I wouldn't be able to do anything anyway (and I don't have enough for three weeks worth - doctor suggested 3 months trial to give things time to settle and see if it helps the fatigue).

Its possible the symptoms won't come back. Its possible that even if they do then I feel better in other ways and then the doctor can work out a way to have the best of both worlds. I just don't know if I can do it.

[gophergal]

boinga. boinga. boinga. boinga.

bonus heby weapon man:

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

"Cuhut it out- you guys!" "Nu-uh, not until you're all perked up first! You don't want those gym challengers meetin' with an ol' mopey leader, do ya?" "Whitney's right, dear friend. No need to hide that beautiful smile of yours, alright?~"

What it takes to cheer up Johto's beloved ghost boy 👻💕

[emmabirb8]

Is... is that what we're calling it? Kind of an odd way to look at it if you ask me

The article itself is actually p insightful but I just can't get over that wording, lmao

[gracefulserpent1207]

Me whenever I rewatch Hunted and see Faith and/or Jet Jack:

[eirianerisdar]

Today I found out that despite being mostly conflict avoidant I can indeed turn into a raging keyboard warrior when I discover the disabled/accessible toilets at one of the largest luxury malls in my city are neither accessible or designed for the disabled

Just fired off a professionally scathing email to their management quoting my city's government building regulations

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

With books in arms and sweets in hands, the couple soon departed from the bookstore, the elderly proprietor cheerfully bidding them goodbye as they stepped back out onto the street, which had proceeded to come a little more alive, more couples walking to and fro, in and out of shops, the streets alive with the chatter of friends, the laughter of children, and the jubilant music from the nearby restaurants.

Truthfully, Susannah seldom gave much thought to any future in which she'd be a wife and mother. Until meeting Philippe, that sort of notion felt far more like a pipe dream than anything else, unable to envision anyone being eager to make her their bride, let alone mother of their children, but ever since falling love, she'd found that had changed quite a lot, and thus, she found herself daydreaming more about what was to come.

Would they have nights like this in California? Walking the streets together after dinner, their children running ahead of them, giggling up a storm as they enjoyed everything the world had to offer? Would the little ones play in the grass, gathering flowers and begging their parents for sweets from the nearby vendors? Would she and Philippe put them on their shoulders, and let them see the world from a whole new vantage point, and make them feel like they could touch the stars, the way her father did? She liked to think so.

A gentle smile crossed Susannah's face, and she couldn't help but lay her head against Philippe's shoulder, the way so many other ladies did with their gentlemen, feeling more content than she had felt in a very, very long time.

[simpotat]

What the fuck

[94erz]

so hobi was the only member nominated for the FAN VOTED award on mama not to win the award (mind you, there were 10 winners). i simply have no words left for this fandom. armys were too busy fighting about which maknae line member should get a daesang to care for getting the award for the only nominated member who is out of the military and who we KEEP failing Every. Single. Time. he's literally never won a fan voted award. i haven't cared too much about such things in quite a while but mama awards have always seemed important so this actually got to me. can't say i'm disappointed because i stopped expecting much from armys long ago but hobi has just got out and there were 10 winners so i thought it might be different this time but of course not. the fandom is FULL of ml solos i fear. and of course now they're celebrating and saying how they did so well. sorry for ranting, i know you don't really care about these things now either but aghhhggggfggg

All I can think about is how he didn't go to that fuck ass event (except for TXT's performance they were amazing), didn't speak about it, didn't post a single thing about it, nor will he since why should he? This year he wasn't (and I hope isn't at any future point) forced to go and collect anyone's awards and there was no benefit to him as an artist since he didn't perform, and instead did something HE loves to do and I'm so happy for that.

No fake platitudes to a fandom that fails him over and over again.

I really have stopped giving all fucks what the fandom does, I watched ONLY for TXT this year and prioritized MOA spaces and watched as they put on a good show. It was so positive and supportive and it reminded me of why I used to like being in ARMY spaces and now I know I'll never return to them 'cause they aren't as supportive and positive. They've made it all perfectly clear j-hope is not someone they care to support and they have made the fandom extremely toxic and unbearable for j-hope biased fans so why should we stay? Why should I return? They don't want us there and so fuck it and fuck them honestly.

[fettery-fetterie]

GIRL HELP WDYM I REACHED 30 TAGS??????? OMG???? I WASN'T EVEN DONE YET

ANYWAYS 31st: and that compared to a relationship where the communication lines are basically none or very fucking weak then yeah it is an upgrade I think. Idfk I was never in a relationship I'm just picking from the ones I've seen in my life

[faunandfloraas]

the fact theres no skz video of them trying australian food............... unthinkable

[crescentmp3]

;

[tourmelion]

Yeah

People can still deserve to be taken out of the equation

Without heat or emotion, some people are just generally dangerous and should be gotten rid of if no other avenues are available

Just, logically the damage they do is too much to be able to justify keeping them alive just to have them commit acts of intense cruelty

That being said, we can never be too sure we got the right mark, jail can be reversed upon finding that person was innocent

Death cannot be

Only when other options are unavailable is it justifiable to use deadly force against a dangerous individual

When Indian police officers took the gloves off and started using deadly force against terrorists when they were also shooting at the police when they attempted to arrest them, those officers sustained less casualties and was able to neutralize the threat

( cops are still corrupt but it is still bad when they die cause they aren't empowered to use more force against armed nut jobs )

Killing someone who was attempting to kill you or severely maim/r*pe you is self defense, that's justifiable cause you can't justify the cost of them not being fought against and there aren't really other options

Of course there's always a worry of people taking advantage of these circumstances ( they do it anyway, it's just normal murder, which is when we rely on the law to find out whether it was in defense or not )

But the base morality still stands, sometimes it's just not practical, it's not pretty by any means, and it shouldn't devolve to that choice in our society, but it can, and people shouldn't overthink and make themselves miserable when fighting off the generally dangerous to save their own lives and skin and the lives and skin of others

Border control needed to kill back when a group of soldiers broke into their side of the border and started killing

When no one will stop the child rapist or murderer you have to defend yourself and the people around you

Reason can dictate it's the best option

And true that people do unjustly kill just for their own sick pleasure, but they hardly are willing to stop just cause reasonable people won't

If you've been in a situation where such extreme action feels like the only way out and you're pushed to it to save yourself or those around you don't let it burn you up inside, the action is inherently dark and upsetting but you had reasons to

My family are survivors from a genocide, they shouldn't feel bad for taking down a terrorist, or someone coming around to kidnap their daughters or any person they felt like snatching

Intense times can call for intense measures, in situations like that don't let yourself be handicapped

Don't make yourself completely powerless if you know you can do something

When the law fails you or cannot intervene don't get caught up in the titles and visuals of the matter

Think about why you did it, fall back on that and let that calm the issue, it's important to question and reflect, and to recognize if you did the wrong thing, but do that with reason, don't just hate yourself cause you were pushed that far

If you were raised or got caught up in a gang and had to to live, if you wanted to kill the guy who killed your family or friends, if you did it to help a person escape from trafficking or you were trafficked and that was the only way out or to get justice, if someone tortured you for fun and you couldn't call for help

Fall back on the reason why, get peace from you attempting to pick apart your reasoning and having it stand through it, having you question your reason and being able to answer them, being able to genuinely justify it cause you do ask yourself and you can make a response, one that you can pick apart and bring to it's end, to it's logical conclusion

Being able to wade through all the mess with reason, questioning, picking apart, so you can get closer to the truth, to find the truth

Don't just get disheartened and upset with yourself just because of a surface level title slapped onto what was done

Your truths are more nuanced than that and deserve to be met with proper consideration

All of ours are

Btw

Some of my tags outline my experiences

They are kinda disturbing

Outlining my poor treatment a little

Read at your own risk

I'm fine-ish now though so don't worry

I'll be alright

re: that last post, ive said it before and ill say it again: no one deserves to die (deserving is fake and death is bad) but some people need to be stopped and choose to make death the only way to stop them

[princessconsuelapark]

💔❤️🫶

[chastiefoul]

how they'd react when you wanted to sleep on the couch... just because.

fluff. light-hearted ft. gojo, nanami, sukuna, suguru, toji, choso

satoru

“baby scooch over.” a whispered voice along with a gentle nudge on the shoulder woke you from your dozed off state. “hmm?” you mumbled out, blinking your terribly heavy lids open although to no avail they’re begging to keep themselves shut. satoru glanced at you with a frown on his eyes with a pillow held close to his body. “scooch over baby,” he pleaded, kneeling beside the couch you’re currently lying on.

“go back to bed toru,” you said softly, tugging your blanket closer. “but you’re not there,” he whined, intertwining his hand with yours as he attacked it with kisses, not letting you go back to sleep, especially if it’s without him. “i thought you said you’re going to be fine?” you asked, jogging the memory of him being all smug while saying you could do whatever you wanted. “that was not me, i would never say that,” he said promptly and goodness you didn’t know before someone’s lips could turned that much downward. you chuckled breathily, knowing this will happen sooner or later.

you scooted over on the big couch, leaving him the space he’d been begging for. you could have sworn you heard a squeal before you’re wrapped in satoru’s warm hold, his head resting snugly atop of yours. “no sleeping on here anymore. not without me,” he said into your hair, kissing it softly.

❀

nanami

“but why, love?” he asked, having a hard time comprehending your wish to sleep alone on the living room only because... you randomly wanted to? you chuckled looking at his bewildered face, an expression of someone who’s probably racking his brain upside down thinking that he’s done something wrong. “ken, i promise it’s just because i feel like it and no reason other than that.” you cupped his face, planting a soft kiss on his nose.

nanami looked a little relieved, albeit sullen, hesitant in asking whether he could invite himself in or you wanted a little time for yourself. and when it’s finally time to sleep it’s becoming more obvious that your lover wasn’t going to make it easy for you.

“need any more blanket honey?” he asked tapping the head of the couch as he stood there a tad nervous, knowing full well you got everything you needed since he insisted to be the one to prepare it. pillows, blanket, a hot drink, he’s got it all for you. “i’m perfect here, ken. you can go to bed,” you said with a reassuring smile, yet it did the opposite effect to the man.

“can i be here until you sleep, my love? it’s just that i feel like i wouldn’t be able to rest properly until i see you do the same.” he stroke your cheek softly with his thumb, and when you leaned into his touch he knew he’s gone for you. that there’s no way he could be asleep if he went back to the bedroom in that moment—unless you’re with him, of course. though, he didn’t say this, he just continued combing through your strands of hair, loving the peaceful expression on your face.

and unfortunately for the blond man, when it comes to these things his thoughts were written all over his face. you already caught on the fact that he wanted to lie down with you there yet his wish in prioritizing your wants refrained him from speaking his. you laughed a little, feeling a burst of fondness towards the tall man.

“on a second thought, can you sleep here with me ken?” he moved as quick as the sentence ended, already making his way under the blanket. he sneaked a hand around your waist, pressing your body closer against him. “i was kind of hoping you’d ask,” he mumbled, slightly embarrassed. you snuggled closer to his chest, feeling utmost comfort as he rubbed your back gently.

“i know.”

❀

sukuna

not even ten minutes in trying to sleep on the said couch, sukuna had already carried you back towards your shared bedroom.

“but-“

“no.”

he put you on the bed gently, then he draped a blanket over as he tucked you in. sukuna has that look of a man who’s determined in keeping you there, and you already knew it’s a fight you could not win thus, you turned for another plan instead: pouting.

even until he got beside you as he rested his big hand on your stomach, you refused to look at him, crossing your hands in front of your chest. he sighed, “give me one good reason i should let you sleep out there,” he said exasperatedly. “cause i want some me time?” you claimed. even you weren’t sure why you’re battling him so hard on this.

“then have it here in this bed with me. you’ll get all cold later and cling to me later anyways. i’m just speeding up the process.” he replied, already closing his eyes.

“what a strange way of saying you couldn’t sleep without me,” you said, with a grin on your face. the feeling of his thumb moving against your skin brought you immense comfort, your impulsive plan long forgotten.

“if you already knew that then quit making it harder for me, brat.”

❀

toji

he stared at you who’s already making yourself comfortable on the couch, amused. “looking cozy there,” he said with a grin, a face of someone who’s up to no good. “yeah, it’s actually not ba-“ the sentence was cut off was your own squeal, toji had picked you up as he took your lying down position and put you top of him.

“you could’ve just asked first!” you fumed, hitting his bicep—which did more to you and it did him, how could one even get their muscle to be as hard as that? he just chuckled in response, putting a hand around your waist. “sorry doll, got too excited,” he said lazily, already seemed all happy, like he had all he needed.

and he did, with you close to him resting your head on his chest, knowing that you loved counting his heartbeat. the man was truly content.

“we really should get a bigger couch,” you mumbled. we should get everything you wanted, toji thought. but it’d be a bit much to say in the moment so instead he just continued rubbing your sides until you dozed off, plunging into the dream land.

“sleep.”

❀

suguru

“whatcha got there baby?” he asked, an easy smile on his face. there’s really no day with you where you didn’t make him tilt his head questioningly. “’m going to sleep here tonight,” you said, fluffing the pillow before lying down on it comfortably.

“okay, where’s mine then?”

“your what?”

“my pillow. you didn’t bring mine along yours?”

“oh well i just thought you’d want to sleep in the bed anyway?” you replied, and suguru looked like you just insulted him deeply. the couch dipped, he then lied down beside you on the same pillow, making him extra close as he embraced you. “i sleep where you sleep baby, you make me this way. i can no longer rest when i don’t get to hold you close like this,” he said softly, tucking your hair behind your ear.

you have a big smile on your face as he said this, inhaling his familiar scent as you put your arms around him. “that better not be a complaint,” you said, cuddling closer to the man.

“never.” he kissed your temple.

❀

choso

it seriously look like it killed him when he had to walk away from the room, leaving you to sleep by yourself on the couch. his steps were excruciatingly slow, taking as much time as he could in case you changed your mind.

“cho?” you almost laughed looking at the way he perked up, a hopeful expression on his face. “can you turn off the light on your way?” and it almost felt too cruel the way the sparkle on his eyes dimmed, his shoulders beyond slumped. he then practically had to drag his own feet before letting out a small nod.

you chuckled, couldn’t keep up with the teasing anymore. “i’m kidding baby, do you wanna get in here?” you lifted up the blanket, patting the empty space next to you. it was the fastest you’ve ever seen him, as he’s beside you in no time.

he clinged to you tightly, like he’s making sure as much of his skin made contact with yours, a satisfied smile on his face. his hair tickled your neck nicely, as you traced the area below his eye with back of your finger.

“next time you want something just ask, cho.”

[medicinemane]

I don't know, those gifs of Andrew Garfield saying how to him the most terrifying thing is certainty... they resonate with me

The way people go around so damn sure that they're right about things, frankly I think there's very few things more dangerous than not even allowing for the possibility that you're wrong

Like you've just decided that you 100% know best, and from now on any evidence to the contrary is just something to be pushed aside because it's clearly wrong. The harm you'll do isn't real because obviously you wouldn't be doing it if there was harm. You're just right. That's the end of it

No, I agree with Andrew Garfield, I'd much rather stop and reassess over and over, as many times as I need to, to make sure that I'm still doing the right thing

I'll never be anything cause it just doesn't interest me, but if I was going to join a religion I know I'd become Jewish

Thought that since I was little with all the Jewish friends I had at school, and what's more it just seems to fit me best, all the elements of questioning. Hell... it even sounds like if I said "you know, I don't really believe in god", that there's a chance the rabbi might say "funny thing, me neither" (I've heard some don't), but if not that at least "eh, that's fine, why don't you come discuss why with us"

It's just funny the number of times I've related to something someone's saying, and then you find out their Jewish and this ties into that sense of questioning things, and that interview is an example

I agree with him, nothing scarier than being 100% sure you're correct... you can do a lot of bad things once you know for a fact you're right to be doing them