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wenellyb · 4 years ago

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Is Sambucky Canon or Not?

TL;DR: Yes, it is

I've seen some people saying that they only see friendship between Sam and Bucky, and I can understand that. Because depending on your education, the environment you grew up and the kind of media you’re usually exposed to, you will have a different interpretation of different situations, in real life or in TV. Just let me insert a short story before I dive into the Sambucky topic:

My best friend's uncle is in his fifties and has been living with his roommate (a man) for more than 10 years. They lived together, went on holidays together but officially were just roommates. My best friend wondered if they were a couple, but never talked about it to her parents because it wasn't her business. Two years ago, they decided to come out and get married. My best friend's parents and his parents were genuinely surprised, they were not expecting that, at all, not even a little bit. Let me tell you that it didn’t even cross their mind that it was a possibility, at all. For them, it had always just been two men who had decided to live together because they were single. And preferred to have a roommate rather than living alone.

What I want to say with this story is that people will see what they want to see, or what they're used to see, or what they were raised to see. It’s human.

What I mean is that you will have different perception of a same event, depending on your own circumstances. And I think the writers of TFATWS were counting on that a little bit when it came to Sam and Bucky’s relationship. They obviously didn't want to make some big announcement or big love declaration.

And yes, of course, I have my own circumstances as well, influencing the way I see things. I have shipped SamBucky since Civil War, when they were supposedly enemies. I never expected anything to happen between them on screen. But then they got a show together and I was so so happy about it but I didn't expect anything other than friendship between them.

I was perfectly fine with that because a show was already more than enough: my man Sam Wilson was becoming Captain America, the show was great, the characters were great, their interactions were great, and this wasn't a love story anyway but a superhero show. I thought that here was no way the showrunners would ever go there. I changed my mind after episode 5. I tried to stay objective, but it was clear to me that the writers were hinting at a relationship that went beyond friendship between Sam and Bucky. In some of my previous posts, I explained that there are some scenes and writing choices that make absolutely no sense if you read them as a scene between two friends. I can link them if anyone’s interested.

Side note: I would like to know if one person on this website can tell me what was up with Bucky's behavior with Torres (in episode 5)? What other explanation is there, if not jealousy? It's a scene they chose to keep, so it was probably written this way, there must be a reason. Please I’m begging someone explain it to me. I'm genuinely asking, because otherwise that scene alone is canon Sambucky.

After episode 5, I was convinced they would make Sambucky canon, one way or the other and I started speculating about the ways they could do it. What I said was that if they did make Sambucky canon, they would do it in a very subtle way, in order not to make it too obvious because that’s generally how Marvel movies deal with love stories. And also because they wouldn’t want to scare away their homophobic audience ( I guess Disney needs their money...who knows)

So here are the scenes of how I imagined SamBucky becoming canon and the comparison with reality:

- What I thought we could get : AJ and Cass calling Bucky "Uncle Bucky" - What we got: AJ and Cass running up to Bucky and playing with him. This point is interesting because it’s also related to the point I made about how the environment you grew up in influences your perception of things. I grew up in a big family and I know that, at least in my family, kids don't run up to an adult like that just because it's their uncle’s friend or just because he's nice... There's a real bond there. They haven't seen Bucky just that one time when he slept on the couch. They're obviously close. But some people might just see this as kids being kids. Also, if you watch at how the kids were fake punching him, they were really coordinated with Bucky. They have done this plenty of times. 2.

What I thought we could see: A non-explicit scene where we were supposed to draw our own conclusions. I thought they could show us Bucky staying over for the night, and the last scene would be an empty couch, meaning we would have to understand that Bucky slept in Sam's room this time.

-What we got: Bucky arriving in Sam's car ( A few people on Tumblr pointed out that it was the car Sam was driving in episode 1) So here again we have a scene that a lot of people will not notice. But they still chose to put it there. 3.

What I thought could happen: Sam asking Bucky to stay in Delacroix

What we got: Bucky wrapping things up in New York, as if he was leaving the city for good and coming to Sam's party as if he already knew everyone there. You can read my take on this here. 4. What I thought could happen: The scene in the trailer where we see them looking in the same direction and then we get a shot from very far away where they're holding hands but it’s not so obvious because they are being filmed from a disctance. -What we got: The scene in trailer and then a blurry shot of Sam holding Bucky and then fondling with his neck to find the best spot to rest his hand on. So none of the scenes I was imagining happened exactly like I had imagined, but it felt like all of them happened but in a different versions, which is still crazy to me. If it had been only one scene. I could probably understand the people who see them as just friends. Actually, I still do understand the people who see them as just friends, because everyone has their own interpretation. What I am saying is that they are NOT being portrayed as just friends. There are TOO many scenes in the 6 episodes for it to be a coincidence. One or 2 would be ok but friendship doesn’t explain everything:

The therapy scene (not the therapy scene itself since it was improvised) but the therapist saying she had heard a lot about Sam and wanting them to do a couples’ therapy

Bucky following Sam no matter what

Sam saying ok as soon as Bucky says "do it for me"

Sam asking "what about Bucky?"

Bucky starting to touch Sam whenever he has the chance

Bucky being the one to bringing the suit for Sam

The boat repairing montage

Bucky wanting to stay at Sam's place, when a hotel room would have been more comfortable than a couch

The second day of boat repair in closed quarters with an intense staring scene.

And there are so many other scenes, soft touches, looks,...

These writing choices are not a coincidence, it’s not involuntary, and it’s not fan service ( Fan service is the roll in the flower field scene, or the therapy session). This is them telling a story.

Let’s not even talk about the scenes in Endgame:

Sam comforting bucky at Tony’s funeral

Sam looking up to Bucky for approval before accepting the shield from Steve.

So yes, Sam and Bucky are canon in the sense that Peter and Gamora were canon in the first movie, or Wanda and Vision were canon in Captain Civil War. Meaning that there was no big moment, kiss or anything, but the show is consistently throwing elements clearly showing Sam and Bucky as a romantic item and hinting at a lot more than friendship between them.

It is normal that some people have a different opinion. Because it is extremely rare, in big productions like this to have two male leads with romantic feelings towards each other, so not a lot people who see it will interpret it as such (I don't think it ever happened). You’ll see what you’re used to seeing.

I guess it also depends on what you expect from a love story. For me, the storyline between the characters, their scenes, their chemistry, the way their feelings towards each other are described, are the most important. The kiss scene is just there as a bonus, but I don't need it when the love story is told perfectly. If you’re used to seeing love stories with many kissing scenes, that’s what you will be expecting to see in most love stories.

If you're only used to seeing male friendships in superhero or action movies. The 1000th time you see men interacting in that type of movie or show, you are more likely to assume it is a friendship and nothing more, no matter how many codes and tropes usually associated with romantic movies, the writers and show makers are using.

Add to that the conviction that Disney would never approve Sambucky in a million years, and there you go, I can understand the people who see only friendship.

But, just think about it, if we had the same show, same scenes, same dialogues, but minus the action scenes and the project was being marketed as an Indie movie, would you think they were just friends or a blossoming couple?

If you read Sambucky’s relationship like a friendship: some scenes don't make sense. If you read it like a developing romantic relationship: it all makes sense. "When you hear hoofs, think horse, not zebra" If a writer or a film director chooses a last scene with a romantic setting and the two leads are staring at a sunset, smiling repeatedly at each other and then walking away together with one of them touching the other's neck, with a love song in the background, maybe friendship isn't the first thought they had in mind.

Some people may say “I see them as just friends” and other people may say “ I see them as lovers” and both are fine, because people have different perceptions, and that’s ok.

What I am saying is this post is that the show and the writers are portraying them as more than just friends, they’re portraying them as two characters who are romantically involved.

Perceive what you want but that’s how they are being presented in the show.

Bucky’s therapist said that the exercise she gave them was for couples who want to figure out what kind of life they want to build together. Then, the show ends with Sam and Bucky, staring at a sunset together, looking in the same direction.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. “ - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What else do you need???

This show had more romance than half of the Marvel projects out there. Not every love story needs a kiss (for now...)

We'll see in their next projects which direction the writers want to go with this. But since it was said that the writer on the movie is the same as the writer from episode 5, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll keep seeing this dynamic. I don't think they would have made the same choices if this had been a movie. But I won't complain that we got this. I hope they keep this going even if it stays subtle like in the show. Just hope they will add one explicit scene where one of the characters acknowledges their relationship. But even if we only ever get this show, it’s already a great love story. Let me know what you guys think and sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, I was tired when I wrote the last part. I hope it still makes sense!

If you think they're only being portrayed as friends let me know why! I would also like to know about the way you see this!

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers #Please feel free to comment on this and tell me what you think #I'm genuinely interested in having other POVs

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unwrittenlibrary · 3 years ago

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magnetic force of a man

summary // loving him in the summer is warmth and radiance.

or; three summers showcasing the growth of your relationship with bucky. [bucky barnes x fem!reader]

words // 4.5k

warnings // post-endgame bucky & softness & kind of corny

notes // inspired by taylor swift’s lover. somehow this just came out, i’m not sure how i feel about it.

my writing is free and it will stay free, but if you enjoy it and you have the resources, consider donating to my ko-fi!

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

| Summer of 2025 |

You meet Bucky at the Farmer’s Market in June when you both reach for a red delicious apple. It’s awkward laughs and friendly introductions.

You’ve heard of him before; Janet who runs the apple stand talks about him and how perfect of a match you would be. Unbeknownst to you, Eugene who runs the plum stand, says the same thing to him.

“You’re the man Janet won’t shut up about.” You smile sweetly. Your eyes scan his small basket of fruits and vegetables. He’s got a lot of different things. He must cook, you think. “I’ve been told I would like you.”

Bucky laughs. His eyes scan your basket too, you wonder what he thinks of all your choices. “You must be the woman Eugene won’t stop talking about.” He leans towards you and in a mischievous tone whispers, “I think they’ve been trying to set us up.”

It makes you laugh. “You’ve got a beautiful laugh.” Bucky compliments. His smile is genuine and he’s got blue eyes that are filled with kindness. You can see why Janet had been trying for so long to get you to meet him.

“Thank you.” You step towards him when another man rushes past you. “I have to ask, what have you heard?”

Bucky shrugs. “Just that you’re beautiful and you make the best apple pie Eugene’s ever tasted.” Bucky leans towards you again. “So far, he’s spot on.” The implication makes heat rise to your cheeks and you smile down at your basket.

“Guess I’ll have to make you some pie so you can see if he’s two for two.” You look back up with a teasing smile. Bucky’s eyes light up in excitement.

He shakes his head in amusement. “I hope I’m not being too forward, can I have you number?” You’re already pulling your phone out of your pocket to hand over.

That’s the beginning of your story.

˚《

Your first date is the last week of June. After weeks of texting and even some phone calls, Bucky had finally asked you out.

He takes you to a drive in up in Warwick and you park in the middle row of the second screen to watch Grease. The sun is still out when you arrive, so there’s some time to get snacks and settle in.

“Did you know it was throwbacks weekend?” You ask as Bucky flips through his radio stations in search of the correct one.

He shakes his head. You can see his fingers shaking a little nervously as he looks up at you. “Is Grease okay? I’ve uh, I’ve never seen it. It looked cute.” He grimaces and it makes you smile.

“I love Grease.” You say softly, reaching your hand out for his. “Are you nervous?”

Bucky laughs awkwardly. “Am I that obvious?” Your eyes trail over his gloved hands, his left hand resting on his thigh as you hold his right.

“I think it’s sweet.” You reassure him. “You must be hot in these. It’s June.” You flip his hand so it’s palm up and trace your finger over it.

“I haven’t done this in awhile.” He admits. There’s a red tint to his cheeks, one that’s not from the summer heat, and it makes you giggle. He eyes meet yours and he smiles tensely. “I’m uh- I-“

“You don’t have to say it.” You pull the glove off hastily so his flesh hand is revealed to you. “I know who you are. You can keep them on if you want, but you don’t need to.” You place the glove back in his palm and wrap his fingers around it.

Bucky watches you for a moment. “You know who I am and still want to go one a date with me?” You frown at his self-depreciating tone.

“I know who you used to be. I don’t know you though. The real Bucky Barnes. That’s why I want to go on this date with you.” The radio begins reciting rules of the drive-in and you look at the screen. The sun is setting behind it quickly.

When you turn to look at Bucky again, he has a grin on his face as he watches you. “Come on! Let’s get snacks before the movie starts.” You turn to push open the car door and Bucky follows after you easily.

You don’t know it yet, but that’s the beginning of your pull over him. Bucky thinks he would follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked him to.

˚《

Your first kiss is two weeks later after watching a movie in central park. It was Dirty Dancing this time. You’ve been on five dates.

You’ve learned that Bucky likes going to these throwback playings and experiencing the movies he missed while under Hydra’s control. You’re happy to indulge him, truly.

You just wish he would do more than hold you hand. Which, okay, maybe that isn’t fair. Sometimes he’ll wrap an arm around your shoulder and you’ll lean your head against his chest. He’ll even give you a kiss on the cheek goodnight, but he still won’t kiss you on the lips and you’re starting to think he just doesn’t want to.

One date? Okay, he wants to be respectful and not move too fast. Two dates? A little weird, but he was from a different time. Three? Did they just not kiss back then? You can’t imagine a charming Bucky Barnes who didn’t steal a kiss from a pretty girl. Four had you on the edge of your seat waiting for the kiss that didn’t happen.

Now, as Bucky walks you home, you think of all the ways you can bring it up. You even think of just kissing him yourself, it was the twenty-first century and women can make the first move.

Except, you can’t help but think, what if he doesn’t want to kiss me?

“You alright?” Bucky’s hand gripping your elbow gently forces you out of your head. You look up at him with wide eyes and nod a little too hastily. “You sure? You’ve been silent for like, fifteen minutes.”

His eyes are concerned pools of blue as he stares down at you. The words just come tumbling out of your mouth, “Why don’t you want to kiss me?”

Bucky just stares at you in shock. You feel heat on the back of your neck and shift in uncomfortable embarrassment at your outburst. “I’m sorry!” You blurt out. “I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just want you to kiss me and if you don’t want to that’s fine!” You suck in a deep breath. Bucky is still watching you silently, so you continue on. “I would just rather know now if you don’t want to kiss me instead of finding out later.”

You finish quietly with Bucky still watching you. If you weren’t so panicked, you would probably recognize his look as him digesting the words. But the panicked feeling mixes with the sting of rejection and you begin to back away. “Well this was great. Hope to never-“

Bucky’s hand wraps your waist and he hauls you back into him. His lips meet yours harshly, but it’s not painful in any way. It’s somehow gentle and his lips are soft against yours. Your eyes close and one of your hands comes up to rest on his cheek while his hands hold steady onto your waist.

When you pull away it’s with a gasp of air. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since that day in the Farmer’s Market.” Bucky admits breathlessly.

“So why’d you never kiss me?” You ask curiously. Cars speed past you on the street and there’s a group of teenagers who all gag as they pass you, but none of it matters with Bucky in your arms like this.

Bucky smiles. “I told you. I haven’t done this in a long time.”

˚《

By August, you and Bucky are going steady. You go to the market together most weekends and Bucky calls you his girl to the people you’ve both become regulars of.

He’s even talked about introducing you to his friends and going out together one night when they’re all free.

It makes your heart race and your fingers twitch with excited nerves. You think you love him, which seems crazy when you think of how you’ve only been seeing each other since June, but you do.

Thinking of him makes your heart beat faster and your face warm. You want to spend as much time as can with him and hang onto every word he says.

It seems like he feels the same way too, but you’re just not sure. Fall is right around the corner though. That means schedules pick up again and the weather gets colder, so you’d like to know if Bucky feels the same way or if this was just a way to pass the time in the summer.

You just don’t know how to say it though. Every time you think of saying the words your nerves get the best of you and you blurt out something he finds endearingly awkward and doesn’t think anything of.

“I still can’t believe a show like this exists.” Bucky murmurs in awe from beside you on his couch. You’re not really pay attention to the random reality show you’ve put on though. You’re focused on the way his eyes shine curiously and how he smiles whenever the host makes a shitty joke.

Your feet are settled in his lap and he pinches your shin when he turns to look at you. “You’re not even watching the show.”

“I love you.” You blurt. That’s one way to do it, you think. You were afraid you would regret the words when you said them or even feel embarrassed, but you don’t. All you feel is lighter, like you’ve created a better world by letting Bucky know somebody loves him, even if he doesn’t feel the same. “I don’t know if you wanted this to be summer fling or-“

“Summer fling?” Bucky laughs. His hand moves up your leg. “I’m not going around calling you my girl to everyone who’ll listen because you’re some fling.”

The words make you laugh. “I love that laugh.” Bucky admits quietly. When your eyes meet his again, he smiles sweetly. “I love you too.”

When he leans towards you for a kiss, you meet him halfway happily.

| Summer 2026 |

Being with Bucky has made you far more confident in yourself. His reassurance and constant support pushed you to be better and you knew he felt the same, so you figured moving in with him was the next step.

You had the perfect plan on how to ask him too. You had recruited Sam, who had taken a liking to you immediately, and gotten an extra key to your apartment cut with the word home engraved onto it.

While you spent the day getting the key cut and making room for Bucky’s things in your space, Sam spent the day distracting him. By the time you hear Bucky knock on your door, you’re about to burst with excitement.

You smooth down the front of you skirt and suck in a deep breath. “Hey!” Bucky’s eyes trail over you in surprise.

“Hey. Did I forget a date?” He looks up nervously, but his shoulders relax when you shake your head with a bright smile. “What’s this then? Not that I don’t love you in this skirt.” His hands find your hips and trail up your sides.

You pull his hands off and pull him inside the apartment. “I have a surprise for you!” He follows you into the kitchen easily and you pull out the small box containing the key.

You rock back and forth on your heels excitedly as Bucky begins to slowly unwrap the box. He watches, completely bemused by your excitement, and moves even slower to tease you.

“Stop!” You laugh and he shakes his head before tearing the rest of the paper off. He inspects the box slowly before opening it.

When his eyes land on the key, he doesn’t say anything and your smile drops. You watch as he stares and your excitement diminishes by the millisecond.

“Do you… Do you not like it?” You ask, unable to handle the silence. Bucky swallows thickly before looking up at you. Your heart drops as the burn of his rejection settles beneath your skin. “You don’t.” It’s not a question.

He reaches for you, but you step out of his grasp. “It’s not that I don’t like it, I just… I’m…” He doesn’t know what to say or how to actually say no to you. It’s obvious.

“You mentioned your lease was up soon and that you didn’t want to resign. I thought…” You trail off. You feel like you can’t breathe. You and Bucky were so good together, this seemed like the logical next step.

Had you read everything wrong? “I meant… I was looking at places closer to you.” Bucky says like it’s supposed to make you feel better.

“But you don’t want to live with me?” Your back hits the counter and you flinch at the harsh feeling. Bucky raises a hand, as if to comfort you, but drops it at the last second. “I don’t… Understand? I guess?”

Bucky runs a hand over his face. “I’m just not ready to live together yet, sweets.” He says softly. His face is grimaced as if the words pain him.

Join the club, you think. “Can I ask why? It seems like the next step, you know? We’ve been together for a year. I figured we’d move in together, start talking about marriage. Our future.”

Bucky’s eyes flash to yours. You hadn’t even thought it was possible, but it feels like your heart drops even further. “Do you not want to get married?” You ask slowly.

“I don’t know.” Bucky answers hesitantly. “I never planned a life. I never thought I’d get all this.”

You know he’s trying to make you feel better about the situation, but his words only hurt you more. “So being with me hasn’t made you think about your future at all?” You question. You think those words are what breaks you. The tears come rushing to your eyes and your face is hot with a mixture of anger and hurt.

“That’s not what I meant.” Bucky’s getting upset too. He’s clenching and unclenching his fists, something you’ve learned he does when he’s stressed. “I just meant I’m not sure what I want.” A beat of silence. “Shit. I mean-“ He groans in frustration and you sigh.

“I know I want you. A future with you.” You say quietly. You move to the close the box, key still inside, before shoving it into one of your kitchen drawers. “So, I think you should figure it out. What you want. So I know whether or not I should move on.”

Bucky watches you with tears brimming his own eyes. “Sweets-“

“I think you should go home, Buck.” You cut him off in a gentle tone. “Think for a few days.” You begin to move towards your hallway, ready to fall into your bed.

“Like… Like a break?” He asks tightly making you pause. You look at him over your shoulder and shrug.

“If that’s what you want to call it. I think you just need some time to figure out what you want for yourself. If it’s not me, that’s okay, but you should know.” You look back down your hallway. “I deserve to know too.”

You wait until you hear your front door slam shut to fall into your bed. When you notice Bucky’s shirt draped over your vanity chair, the tears come.

Not how you imagined your summer starting.

˚《

The month of June goes by, blossoming into July and Bucky doesn’t reach out. You’re heartbroken over it. Though that doesn’t sound like the right term because it really feels like your heart has been torn from your chest, but there wasn’t really a word for that.

You know you were the one who had suggested the break, but you figured he would have cared for you enough to give you a formal break up. Had you really ever known Bucky? What had gone wrong?

“You weren’t with Bucky yesterday!” Janet gushes when you stop in front of her booth. Your heart cracks at his name. “He always has such sweet things to say about you! Why don’t you two come together anymore? Your work schedules mess you up?”

Your eyes flash to her in confusion. Had Bucky not told her? “Janet… We broke up.” You say quietly. You’ve mastered the art of sounding cold when explaining to your friends and neighbors Bucky wouldn’t be coming around anymore.

She shakes her head like you’re not telling her the truth. “He was just talking about how he was trying to learn his mama’s famous peach cobbler recipe to make for you.”

“Must be another girl.” You say in a heated tone. “I haven’t spoken to him in weeks.”

She frowns. “He said your name, darling. That I’m sure of. Called you his girl and everything, just like he always does.” She explains softly.

“He’s delusional then.” You hiss. You stomp away from her cart. You’ll apologize to her next week, but for now, Bucky has somehow managed to ruin your day.

˚《

There’s a knock on your door that night. Your heart almost stops when you recognize the pattern that Bucky always led with.

When you check the peephole and confirm it’s him you almost don’t open the door, until you notice the tin-foiled dish in his hands.

“What are you doing here?” You ask harshly before he can say a word to you. You lean against your door jam, effectively blocking him from setting foot into your apartment. “And what is that?”

“A poor attempt at peach cobbler.” Your pulse quickens. “And I’m here to apologize.” When you look up and see the sincerity in his eyes, you sigh.

“Come in.” You step aside and he smiles gratefully as he steps past you. He places the dish on your counter and turns to face you nervously.

You stand still across from him. You had never thought you would feel this awkward around Bucky. “I’m sorry for… for hurting you that night.” He starts off quietly. “And for not reaching out, but you were right, I did need to figure my shit out.”

“You could have told me that.” You say softly. “Hey, you’re right! Let’s take a break and figure stuff out. Going ghost on me? That broke my heart, Buck.” You cross your arms over your chest like they’re a shield.

“I know.” Bucky says in the same apologetic tone. “I just… I was embarrassed because I made a fool of myself. Because I wanted to say yes. You have no idea how badly I wanted to say yes, but I was too scared to.”

You shake your head. “Scared of what? It’s me, Buck. I love you. You know I love you.” You hadn’t imagined having this conversation with him and you can’t keep the emotion out of you voice.

“What if you see parts of me living together that you don’t see now that make you not want me?” His tone is resembling that of a broken man, one you’ve only heard stories of.

The Bucky Barnes you know is healing. He’s charming, soft and intimidating but full of life and happiness. Not this. It breaks your heart and against your better judgement, you reach out to cup his cheeks in your hands. “There isn’t a part of you I won’t love, Bucky.”

“I still get nightmares. So bad I wake up screaming and unable to breathe.” He says softly. “It takes forever to get out of them.”

“I’ll hold your hand and help you through them.” You say without hesitation. “Bucky. The point of a relationship is to grow together. I want to do that with you, do you want to do that with me?”

His hands reach up to grip yours. You almost sigh in relief at the feeling of his hands in yours after weeks without it. “I do.” He says steadily. “Can we… Can we not be on a break anymore? I miss you.” He admits quietly.

A part of you thinks you should pull back. He had hurt you and you were still upset. But another, larger part of you, missed him more than he had hurt you.

“Yeah.” You say after a moment. “No more break.” You pull him towards you. He meets you readily in a kiss.

˚《

By the end of August, Bucky’s got a drawer full of things in your bedroom and his books have started to overcrowd your coffee table.

You communicate better. He shares more about his nightmares with you. He talks about the future he sees with you, one with a family and dogs in the backyard of the house he hopes to build.

You’re still nervous to bring up moving in together again. In the end it doesn’t matter though, because Bucky is the one who brings it up.

“Can we…” He starts nervously one night as the two of you eat dinner. “Would you want to talk about moving in together again?”

You look up at him a little shocked by the question. “What do you mean?” You shake your head. You know what he means. “Do you?” You ask quickly.

He nods slowly. You can see his nervousness in his tense jaw and clenching and unclenching fists. “I would like to move in together.” He’s talking kind of robotically, like he’s been practicing the words so they came out perfectly.

It’s sweet, you think. The gesture makes you laugh softly. “I would like to move in together too.” You reach across the table and wrap a hand around Bucky’s wrist.

His shoulders drop and you move to unclench his fist. “Yeah? You would?” He asks, less robotic in tone and more excited.

“Yeah.” You nod in confirmation. Bucky gives you a bright smile that’s impossible to not return.

Come fall, Bucky’s given up his apartment and has got an entire bookshelf taking up room in yours.

| Summer 2027 |

It’s July again and Bucky wants to propose.

Over two years together and the Farmer’s Market feels like the perfect place to do it. It’s where you had met and had become a daily part of your guy’s routine.

The only issue is, he’s pretty sure you’re thinking the same thing. Not that you’re onto him, that you want to propose too.

And, okay, Bucky is all for what women have accomplished in the almost century he’s been alive, truly. But proposing is his thing, it just is.

You had been the first person the say I love you. You had been the one to originally ask him to move in together. He wanted nothing more than to be the one down on one knee with his mother’s ring that he had begged and begged some museum curator to give up.

Which ultimately means, he has to beat you to it. So his plans are a little rushed. He had originally wanted to do it at the end of summer, when fall was rounding the corner and leaves were turning brown, but July would work.

July was when you had gone on some of your first dates and was when you had shared your first kiss. July was meaningful and July would work.

“Are you okay?” You ask as you absentmindedly run your fingers over the apples in front of you. Bucky’s eyes shoot up to look at Janet behind the stand, who smiles at him knowingly. You turn to look at Bucky with raised eyebrows. “You’ve been fidgety all day.”

Bucky lets out a fake cough. “I just feel a little off.” He lies. It’s a poor lie and it makes your lips quark up at the corner.

“Want to go home?” You ask, already stepping away from the apple stand. “We ca-“

“No!” Bucky’s hands grip your shoulders and he forces your to stop. You smile at him in question and Bucky quickly drops his hands back to his side. “I mean, no. Probably just allergies.”

“Uh-huh.” You say in obvious disbelief. “The super soldier suddenly has allergies.”

Bucky sighs in defeat. “You know, don’t you?” He asks and you laugh softly. Your hand finds his and you interlock your fingers together.

“Only because you left the ring on the counter last night and I saw it when I went to get water.” You say apologetically. Bucky drops his head so his forehead rests against your shoulder and lets out a groan.

You press a kiss to his temple before nudging him away. “Ask me.” You urge softly. Bucky wants to say no, that he wants to do it right, but this seems almost fitting.

You were what pushed him to be better, so maybe it made sense for you to be the one who pushed him in this too. He wasn’t sure he would even be able to without it, honestly.

He sucks in a deep breath before dropping to one knee in front of you. There are gasps of people passing by, but Bucky keeps his eyes on you as he pulls out the ring. Resized and cleaned, ready for your finger.

“I have a speech so just, bear with me. Okay?” A smile spreads across your face as you nod. “This is the third summer I’ve spent completely in love with you. I didn’t know I could feel this way about someone. Sometimes I’m still shocked that you wake up everyday and choose to be with me. But I promise I don’t take it for granted. Not for one second because I love you so much and I wake up every morning ready to show you forever. And I… I um.” Bucky swallows. “I had more planned, but I’m so nervous and I just want to ask you already.”

“Ask me.” You whisper with a bright smile. A group has gathered around you two by now, everyone murmuring in excitement but you and Bucky can only stare at each other.

“Will you marry me?” Bucky asks softly. He can see his hand shaking as he holds out the ring to you even though there’s no doubt in his mind that you’ll say yes. “Please?” He tacks on for good measure.

You nod quickly, holding your left hand out to him. “Yes. Yes. Of course!” You cheer. Once he has slipped the the ring onto your finger, you pull him up by the collar of his shirt.

You kiss him without a care in the world. Bucky’s hand comes up to rest on the back of your neck as excited cheers resound from all around you two.

When you pull away you’re smiling brighter than he’s ever seen. Bucky can’t do anything but return it.

His eyes move around the crowd and find Eugene, the man who runs the plum stand. He smiles kindly at Bucky and mouths I told you so. Bucky laughs to himself before pressing a kiss to your head.

This Farmer’s Market was probably the best decision Bucky had ever made.

It had brought him you.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

notes // what did i say about soft!bucky? that he was all i knew how to write!!

reblogs and replies are always appreciated, especially if you read and enjoyed this piece!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #james bucky barnes x reader

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britcision · 1 year ago

Note

…. This and the comments is the most buck fucking wild thing to me and I am now genuinely wondering if I live on the same planet as any of these people

The sheer entitlement?? Changing the direction of a story is betraying the readers??? Fucking what???? How do these people LIVE in a world where tv shows Regularly And Often change the characterisation of the main cast between series, if not between episodes? Where plot lines are regularly dropped in all major media, where show runners may forget, abandon, or reinterpret everything from old seasons at a glance??

Fanfic is creative work you are provided FOR FREE. No one’s even getting paid for this (and you’d think the people who do get paid to continue stories like SHOW RUNNERS would care but they clearly don’t)

It doesn’t matter what you thought was going to happen or wanted to happen in someone else’s fic. Not to be a dick about it, your opinions are yours, but it shouldn’t affect actual reality of what is written and this should be neither controversial nor upsetting

You’re not the writer. You want that much control over the outcome, write your own fic (you will be shocked by how much changes during the process)

Stories change in the writing all of the goddamn time, I’ve added nine major POV characters and 3 new ships to my nearly-200k wip that was never going to be small, and yeah, changing the endgame ship is a fucking biggie

But who the hell read a 100k fic SOLELY on the strength of their preference for one ship? The writer’s style isn’t enjoyable for you at all without it? Really? You hate every other bit of the world building, of a 100 FUCKING K FIC so a different endgame ship is not just a dealbreaker that stops you reading, but a betrayal?

No one here has any idea what the fic is, how this person plans on writing the change, how long it will take or how dedicated they are to making the story still work, but they’re still all up in arms like it’s a crime to change your mind writing a story, especially a long and involved one

Sure; people will be annoyed. They might stop writing the fic. If they’re assholes, they’ll probably leave douchey comments on this long and involved novel they have received for free and chose of their own free will to spend their time reading, when they could be doing literally anything else

Y’all better not watch anything the CW puts out ever, because those people are paid to tell a consistent story and if this is a great and terrible betrayal and reason never to share an unfinished story Supernatural would have fucking killed you

(don’t worry though, they’d probably also bring you back a season or so later no matter how poignant or important your death was to the storyline)

If I actually gave a shit what other people think about how I should write learning that people think like this would stop me from ever wanting to share anything I wrote, ever again

Please never, ever read an unfinished fic again if you can’t handle people changing their minds

You’ll miss a lot of good shit, but at least you won’t be subjecting the writers to this bs

Imagine living in such a hateful world

I changed my mind while writing my very long fic about the ship I love about 100 thousand words in or two thirds. I no longer love the ship and it will now become about the main character who sees the other half start to date someone else and become happy with her instead of with herself. I already know this won't be a popular choice at all because my first ship is a big ship and no one knows the second ship and I'll tag that the original ship isn't gonna be endgame anymore. I never add author notes and I don't wanna start now to say it. I know people will be disappointed and mad, I don't need to be told that and I don't care that they will be because it's my fantasy and my very selfindulgent work and they're just numbers on a screen to me who can stop reading if they don't like my fic. But what do you think will the reaction of this be? How mad will people be? How would you feel if this happened and was tagged but only added to the tags halfway through the fic?

Probably pretty mad.

#Rant #it may be the 4 hours of sleep talking #or the 8 different people who tried to merge INTO THE SIDE OF MY CAR today #But i’m so out of patience and then this #Just don’t read the damn fic #Think of all the time you will save

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babyboibucky · 4 years ago

Text

Deserve Better

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky disappeared and came back only to say goodbye.

Word Count: 2,887

Warnings: angsty angsty angsty angsty angsty

A/N: Post-endgame timeline with lotsa angst! Included Andy Barber here because why the fuck not but he’s really not a major character lol

Deserve Better || Undeserving || Deserve The Best

MAIN MASTERLIST

The day you got Bucky back was the same day he said goodbye. He left you— said it was for the best— just as when your fingertips touched him for the first time after five years of longing.

Your reunion with Bucky after the snap was nothing like the movies, far from it actually. A lot of things happened when he was snapped back, in between the battle with Thanos and Tony’s funeral. Besides, you weren’t an Avenger; you didn’t work for SHIELD nor the CIA. In fact, you remained oblivious of the battle that was going on until the moment of chaos caused by the sudden reappearances of half of the world’s population.

And then you received a message from Steve, about the tragedy and the sacrifice of Tony Stark. He was inviting you to the funeral and as much as you felt devastated from the loss of a hero, you couldn’t help but focus your attention on the last line of Steve’s message.

Bucky’s going to be there too. He’s back. He needs you to be there with him.

It wasn’t until the funeral was over that you finally got to have Bucky all to yourself. You had locked gazes when you arrived and staring back into his beautiful blue eyes again made your knees weak.

Bucky was really back.

“Hi.” He greeted you first, his voice remained the same— soft and gentle.

One word was enough to make you feel the warmth of his existence. Hearing him, seeing him again felt like finally coming home after a very long, tiring day.

“Hi, Buck.” You whispered.

Bucky’s smile was all it took for the dam to finally break. You’d burst into tears right then and there and you were more than ready to feel his arms around you after years of hugging yourself to sleep during his absence.

But the warmth never came. If any, Bucky stopped himself from doing so. You frowned when he took a step back from you, extending his metal arm to keep you at a certain length away from him.

“I’m sorry.” He uttered, refusing to meet your gaze.

“What do you mean?”

“I have to go.” He explained, gently squeezing your arm before rubbing circles on your skin using his thumb.

You didn’t understand why Bucky needed to go when he just got back. You just got him back. You had spent years crying over his disappearance only for him to come back and disappear again?

Bucky explained that he thought he got better but things have become so vastly different after the snap that it left him feeling broken and different again. He told you about Steve’s decision to go back in time, never to return again. How Tony’s death made him feel like it was too late to set things straight and how he would probably carry the guilt and regret from not being able to apologize for what he had done.

“I’ll help you, Buck. We’ll work through this together. I want to be by your side when things get better.” You insisted, tears blurring your vision as you tried to reach for Bucky, wanting to feel him again after such a long time.

But Bucky kept on moving away from you, he kept on pushing you away and you wanted to understand why he wouldn’t let you touch him.

“I’ll only hurt you, I don’t want that to happen. I want to get better because you deserve better. But I can’t do that with you because this...this is something that I gotta figure out by myself.” He further explained.

You shook your head, unable to accept his decision. “Buck...I don’t think I can lose you again. I just got you back...I can’t afford to lose you again, please?”

When you attempted to reach for Bucky’s hand, he finally let you. You quickly entwined your fingers through his metal ones and savored how they felt against your skin. They were cold as usual, but Bucky always oozed a certain warmth that made you feel safe.

But now they’re just that— cold and hard.

“I love you. I’ll wait, Bucky.” You murmured and tugged at his hand before he could even let you go.

Bucky smiled sadly at you, “You don’t have to, doll.”

You shook your head and brought Bucky’s hand to your lips as you cried, “I want to. And I will.”

Pressing one final kiss on his hard knuckles, you watched Bucky slip his hand away from yours before turning around to leave. You felt your chest tighten as if you lost all the oxygen in your lungs the same way you lost Bucky.

Losing him the second time around proved to be even more painful. Because this time, he didn’t just disappear.

He walked away.

You waited for Bucky to come home to you for days and weeks until they turned into months...and then years. Still, no Bucky walked through your doorstep but you never stopped hoping.

Sleep was such a rare occurrence to you since Bucky walked away. How do you honestly cope with the loss of someone when you haven’t even healed yet from his first disappearance? You wanted to get mad at him, curse him for suddenly deciding to leave you. But you felt selfish for even thinking about that, because Bucky left to better himself.

To be better for you. He said so himself.

So you kept waiting for him to come back. You made it your reason to keep going. You looked forward to the day you’d hear your door open followed by his heavy foot steps. You wondered, would he smell the same then? Would he still be using your favorite perfume on him? One that smelled like cedar wood and mint and well, Bucky. Would his hair still be of the same length? What about his beard? Would he shave them off before coming back home?

How about his gaze? Would his blue ones still look at you as if you were his moon?

As much as these thoughts made you miss him more, they were the ones that you held onto. They were like your glimmer of hope on nights you were the loneliest, on nights you cried and dreamt of his return only to wake up to an empty, cold space beside you.

You held onto these thoughts every single day in hopes of them becoming real soon enough.

People have told you to move on, to not waste your time waiting for someone who walked away just like that. But you trusted Bucky when he said he wanted to be better because you deserved better. You couldn’t move on, not from Bucky.

You love him with your entire being, so much that his absence caused you physical pain too. You couldn’t even find the right words to describe how much you love Bucky.

In the three years that you spent waiting, you’d met a lot of people too. People who showed interest but none of them really won you over.

You’d met a man named Andy through work. He was a lawyer and was dealing with his own divorce. The connection was there and you wouldn’t deny that.

Two people dealing with the grief from losing someone they love, it wasn’t that hard not to find a common ground. And you did find some solace in Andy and him in you. But it was just that, nothing more and nothing less.

“How has it been?” You asked Andy after he had settled into the booth across of you.

The restaurant was surprisingly scarce on a Sunday morning. Usually there were plenty of customers, their chatters overpowering the soft music playing in the background. Now, it was peaceful and the radio was turned off. There were only the clinks of plates of being set on tables and the footsteps of the staff walking around the place as they attended to the few customers around.

It was serene and peaceful, pretty much like Andy’s aura when he arrived.

“I wouldn’t say I’m fine but I guess I’m at a much better place now than before.” He said with a nod, as if he was finally agreeing with himself after questioning his emotions for the past few months.

You offered a kind smile and placed a hand on top of his, “It shows, Andy. I’m glad. I’m happy for you.” You said.

He had been going through a lot of emotions since he signed the divorce papers. He didn’t want to but knew it was for the best. Andy had a son, Jacob, and he didn’t want for his son to grow up in an environment where his parents no longer slept on the same bed. As much as he loved Laurie, the relationship was no longer working and was becoming toxic the more they stayed together.

“And you?” Andy asked back before calling the waiter.

You let out a deep breath, “Still waiting.” You chuckled as your stared at your hand that remained on top of Andy’s.

Andy spared you an apologetic glance but nodded, “I do hope he knows how lucky he is.” He said, turning his palm up so he could hold your hand.

To others, the gesture may seem romantic but it really wasn’t. You and Andy both knew that despite the similarities and the comfort you found in each other, the both of you were not meant to be together in that way.

Your heart still belonged to Bucky after all.

When you received an invitation from Sam Wilson, you felt confused and excited. There was going to be a huge gala at the compound to honor Steve Rogers’ legacy as Captain America.

You’d heard the news about Steve’s passing not long after he went back in time. He finally got to live the life he deserved and when he came back, it was as if everything had been corrected. He may no longer be the super soldier that many knew but he remained the same person— but he wasn’t the man out of time anymore. Despite his white hair and wrinkles, Steve looked the happiest he had ever been.

You wondered how Bucky coped up with such a huge loss, you always worried for him.

It sparked debate though, Steve’s decision to leave the Avengers. Some got angry, said that Steve was selfish for doing that. Others showed sympathy, that Steve didn’t owe the world anything. He’d spent a lifetime fighting for everyone. It was time that he fought for himself and what he deserved. And Sam fought just as hard for Steve’s legacy and finally, all his hard work finally paid off.

What confused you was whether Bucky was going to be there? Does he know about the gala? Was he finally back? If he was, why hasn’t he come home to you yet? You had so many questions that you wanted to ask.

The answers though, were literally in the palm of your hand— the invitation.

It was no surprise how big the gala was. Just on your way inside, you’d already come across a lot of big personalities. There were politicians and popular celebrities too. You felt intimidated given that you went by yourself and that you weren’t really part of their world.

You were just you, someone who had fallen in love with one Bucky Barnes who introduced you to the world of superheroes. The rest was history.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” You turned around and found Sam approaching you with a huge smile.

You embraced him and smiled as you pulled away, “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” You told him.

It was Steve and Sam that you’d met first and they were nothing but kind to you. Despite being well, ordinary, they welcomed you like their own when Bucky had introduced you.

Sam’s expression changed at your response, “I honestly thought that you wouldn’t show up after Bucky said—“

“Bucky?” You immediately cut him off upon hearing his name.

“Bucky’s back?” You asked and Sam had never looked more confused as ever.

He carefully nodded, brows knitting together as he frantically looked around. “I thought you knew about it.”

“How long? How long has it been since he came back, Sam?” You probed, feeling your throat constricting at the unexpected revelation.

Sam merely looked at you with what seemed to be pity. Why? Why was he looking at you like he was sorry? And why didn’t Bucky tell you when he came back? Was he simply not ready? Or was he waiting for the right time?

“Sam, how long?” You asked again, voice firmer this time around.

“A year ago. He decided to join the Avengers but wanted to undergo formal training before taking on the responsibility of one.” He responded.

You opened your mouth to say something but it’s as if your whole body was paralyzed. He had been back for an entire year now...and yet he kept you waiting?

A hand on your arm pulled you back to the surface, looking up at Sam you shook your head in utter confusion.

“I don’t understand why he didn’t tell me.”

Sam sighed, “I thought you knew. He said he saw you and—“

Sam’s words died on his tongue when he saw that your attention was no longer on him. Following the line of your sight, Sam turned around and saw that Bucky had walked into the venue. He swallowed and couldn’t hide the guilt he felt from assuming that you knew about his return. Before he could apologize, you’d brushed past him as you kept your gaze on Bucky.

Why he didn’t inform you of his return was beyond you and to be honest, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about it for now. Because Bucky was right in front of you and it felt like forever since you last saw him.

A lot has changed. He chopped off his hair but he still sported some scruff. Bucky looked closer to his younger self back in the 40’s. You remembered the conversation you had with him about cutting his hair.

“Should I cut it?” Bucky stood in your bathroom, observing his long locks in the mirror as he ran his fingers through them.

You walked over to him, hugging him from behind and pressing your lips on his back before moving to stand beside him.

“Do you want to?” you asked.

Bucky scrunched his nose, “Maybe in the future. I do miss my hair back then.” he smiled.

You chuckled, “Back when Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes used to sweep the ladies off of their feet?” you teased.

Bucky turned to you and wrapped an arm around your wait pulling you closer to kiss your lips, “Hmm, I wanna see if that hair will have the same effect on you.” he said and kissed your cheek.

You hummed as you caressed his face with your delicate hands, “I’d like to see that too, but maybe you should keep the scruff.”

But it wasn’t just his hair that changed. It was his entire demeanor— his aura seemed a lot lighter now, he seemed happier and confident. You knew it for a fact because he wasn’t wearing a glove to hide his metal hand. It was out on display for everyone to see and shake, apparently.

You watched in awe as Bucky interacted with the people around him. He used to avoid eye contact with strangers but now he seemed relaxed doing so. Although he would still open and close his metal hand, something he did whenever he was anxious. The crowd still made him uncomfortable but he’s shown a lot of improvement since then.

The question as to why he never told you about his return continued to linger in the back of your head. But you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling from ear to ear, eyes brimming with tears as you quickened your steps.

Your Bucky was finally back.

And then the world seemed to have stopped when a certain blonde walked over to Bucky, her hand sliding over to his cheek as she leaned up to press a quick peck on his lips.

You knew her of course, Sharon Carter; and you knew about her and Steve. It was Bucky himself who told you about them and how proud he was that Steve finally decided to try his luck at romance. Which is why you felt even more appalled at the scene playing before you.

The way Bucky slid an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him and how he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. How he was smiling down at her, whispering to her ear as they laughed.

Bucky was in love with Sharon. You didn’t have to ask him that anymore because he was looking at her like she was his moon, his source of light in the darkness.

You knew that because he looked at you the same way, back when you still had his heart.

Suddenly, the questions plaguing your mind found their answers. You understood now why he never came home to you.

He did get better, you could tell that by the way he smiled and laughed.

Bucky was better now, but not for you. At least, not anymore.

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3

#bbbwrites #oneshots: bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky #bucky fic #bucky angst #bucky x you #bucky x reader #sebastian stan

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servicetopkaradanvers · 4 years ago

Note

I'm not sure if this is exactly the right place to say this, but I don't know if there is. And you're a smart person and critical thinker who has talked about this before. If this is totally weird, you can just delete it ofc. I've never properly watched Supergirl but I started reading fanfic around the time my mental health got real bad so it was a comfort thing I didn't bring too much thought to. I really identify with Lena and in the past, part of me has understood her actions-

and I know that they're wrong. The anti-alien rhetoric is obviously an allegory for racism or homophobia. She's violated people's basic human rights. And I'm scared that I'm a bad person because sometimes, I kind of get it. Which is insane because i'm a lesbian enby of color, i mean i get targeted by most of the -ist/ism actions. And I'm also too tired to think about things critically all the time. Supercorp was my comfort fic, content thing-

I knew it was problematic (the whole James thing makes me sick to my stomach, scared and sad) but I didn't know that Lena as a character was written that way. The metaphors never really clicked in my head because I never thought about it, but now I feel absolutely horrible about myself because I like and identify with Lena. I'm not really sure how to move on from here- I'm just tired. I wish there could be just one thing, one piece of media that wasn't prejudiced (granted sg is not the place to go if you want decent rep and the like) and all of those things I said earlier. Its just me somehow trying to justify how I felt and empathized with something I shouldn't have. So yeah, sorry that was really long. I hope you have a lovely day- sorry for the spam

FIRST of all, you’re fine, babe! Both in sending me this and in enjoying The Bad Media. That’s my thesis here: You’re fine. With this in mind, let’s unpack this big ol suitcase:

We’re living in a fandom moment where more than ever before, we’re thinking about the ideas we consume in fiction and how they may or may not affect us. This is a net positive! Fiction is not reality, but it undeniably impacts it, so for this and many other reasons, we should always think critically about what resonates with us and why. Does this mean dissecting every facet of something to find all the ways it might fall in line with oppressive power structures? Absolutely not.

You, as an individual, do not owe anyone an explanation for why you enjoy anything. Period. How you relate to a given character or why you like them is nobody's business but your own.

Supergirl, as a piece of media, is singularly awful in its lackluster lipservice to progressivism while simultaneously refusing to deliver any progressive themes. Socially and politically, it is a useless liberal wet dream. Kara is an immigrant from a dead culture working as the muscle for a secret FBI offshoot with zero accountability for all of the other aliens in diaspora she has rounded up and dumped into a cell without trial. Alex is allegedly a lesbian, but the key points of her endgame relationship are constantly deemed not important enough to get screen time, which is made even more absurd when examined from the angle that this series is marketed directly toward LGBT people. An embarrassing percentage of villains on this show are women of color, which is particularly loud when there are only 2 women in the main cast who aren't white. And "main" is extremely generous, given that Kelly is just there to Give Advice Good and everything M'gann says and does is as dry as toast.

My point here is that the whole show is rotted to its roots, and whatever quietly libertarian or even fascism-enabling bullshit they push onto Lena in a given week is par for the crusty, shitty course. Kara deciding that she's ok with the alien detection device because "there are bad aliens" is a lovely (read: awful) microcosm of why this show sucks so fucking hard. "People are entitled to their opinions" is for debates on whether pineapple goes on pizza, not for whether we should casually out, endanger, and disenfranchise our [insert minority metaphor here] because some of them are mean.

But what I would love for this fandom to wrap its head around, and what I hope you understand, anon, is that just because it happens on the show, doesn't mean we have to give a rat's ass about it. What the hell is The Canon, anyway? Especially in the case for Supergirl, which can't even get its own continuity right. Especially for an IP that has been rebooted dozens of times before and will be rebooted again in the future. We can just decide that Lena realized the horrible injustices she enabled through her position of power. We can even decide that they just didn't happen at all! This is all fake. It's not set in stone. Who came up with it, anyway? A network with a list of buzzwords they want included and a couple of D-tier showrunners cranking down caffeine to meet an absurdly tight deadline. It's not special. I can guarantee that you care about it infinitely more than they do, and you haven't even watched the damn show.

On a more personal level, people who are hurt, depressed, or traumatized have always and will always look for themselves in fiction. Myself included! And despite what lofty platitudes there may be on the matter, suffering does not make us kind. It does not make us better. Sometimes it's just suffering. Often it pulls us further from who we are meant to be. Often it just makes us "worse."

Trauma has made Lena emotionally brittle. A lifetime of manipulation and abuse has taught her to compartmentalize herself and lock her feelings behind a maze of doors. When she does let love in, she accepts it so wild and vulnerable that she can't see the red flags behind the rosy lenses. She latches so hard onto people she deems virtuous that she holds them to a standard none could fulfill. Her pain has to go somewhere, so it oozes out of her, into Non Nocere, into the post-reveal rift. She's a powder keg, and Kara spent 4 years shoveling more gunpowder onto the pile while holding the match between her teeth.

And despite these fatal flaws that make perfect sense through the eyes of Lena's trauma, she is so full of love. Like Kara, her suffering did not make her kind. She is kind in spite of her suffering. These are the characters we are drawn to when we're hurting. Lena’s trauma is an inextricable part of her, but it is not all of her, and neither are her mistakes.

There truly is not and never will be a piece of media that is absolutely innocent of the harmful structures thrust upon us by society, because we ourselves also participate in that society whether we are critical of it or not, whether we strive to change it or not. I'm flawed. You're flawed. Bettering ourselves is not a journey toward an ultimate destination of perfection. It is a garden we nurture in an endless labor of love because the joy that comes from seeing it flourish and change vastly outweighs the work we put into it and the weeds popping up around its unkempt edges. This is a lesson Lena herself could probably stand to internalize. Probably with lots and lots of therapy. Lots. And lots.

So, to circle back to the start of this? You're fine. You recognized the logic in a traumatized character's mistakes because our own gravest errors more often than not stem from the ways we have been harmed in the past. It's what makes Lena (or, at the very least, the many adaptations of Lena that exist in this fandom) a good character. She is, to her core, characterized proof that a crumbling foundation and poisonous soil do not define us. Which is why watching her heal and grow and learn a healthier kind of love is so, so wonderful.

In closing, I think it's worth mentioning that being critical of media does not mean that we stop enjoying the parts of it we like. There is a lot of gold to be pulled from the steaming pile of shit that is CW Supergirl, and that's why we're all here in the first place. So I really hope you can continue to enjoy it in whatever way makes you smile <3

#Anonymous #lena

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lavenderbexlatte · 4 years ago

Text

without a word

stray kids 9.5k words female reader insert Female Reader x Han Jisung EXPLICIT/NSFW

🖤 warnings: unprotected sex, creampie, bad communication, decently vanilla sex, angst 🖤

🚨🚨 this bit is very jisung-centric! the series as a whole is still very much 3racha endgame, but it’s han jisung hours, y’all.

Series Masterlist (Parts 1-7)

connect with me! / masterlist

You like being alone anyway.

That’s what you tell yourself, on your way home that night, after the party, bundled into the backseat of a cab with your pounding head and shaky hands. You don’t cry. You don’t let yourself, even though it would probably help you feel better. Staying blank and unresponsive is much more manageable, so you stare out the window and wait until your neighborhood, and then your building, and then your apartment door comes into view.

Your roommates are home when you all but trip in the front door, which isn’t ideal. But they’re sweethearts, the both of them, so you can’t just ignore them and run away to hide the way that you want to.

“Hey, you’re home early!” says Aisha, from her seat on the couch, in front of the TV.

Her long dark hair is up in a ponytail, pretty face soft and bare, and she’s dressed in a fluffy hoodie and pajama pants. You envy the calm, easy night in that she’s probably had.

“How was the party?” comes Kun’s voice, from farther away.

You peer into the kitchen to find your handsome, calm other roommate at the stove, mixing what looks like hot chocolate in a small saucepan. It smells great, and you can’t help but get closer, coming in to lean on the counter and watch as he stirs the pot in neat little circles.

“Want some?” he asks.

“Not really,” you say.

“So how was the party?”

“It was okay,” you say tentatively.

“Meet anyone cute?” Aisha calls, over the sound of the TV.

You wince, hoping nobody notices. “I wish.”

“Are you okay?” Kun looks sidelong at you, taking in your disheveled face and quiet demeanor.

“Yeah, no, my stomach just hurts,” you say, pulling out the same excuse you’d used on your friends, earlier.

Kun hums noncommittally. “Then no chocolate for you.”

“No,” you agree, “I’m going to head to bed, I think. Too much to drink.”

“Let us know if you need anything,” says Aisha. “Water, or something to eat. A headache pill.”

She’s chewing her lip, concerned, when you walk past her on your way out of the living area. You offer her a weak smile, which she returns. She’s a good kid, younger and a little wilder than you and Kun but a perfect housemate. You don’t want to worry either of them more than necessary, since you’re more or less okay.

It’s only when you’ve escaped and shut yourself in your bedroom that everything catches up to you.

Right out loud, in a whisper that rips out of your throat faster than your still-tipsy brain can stop it, you admit it:

“Broke my heart.”

The words rattle around the room, shaking up the memory of Chan and of Changbin, in this bed with you, of their coldness and warmth in turn against your covers. You hate how it makes your chest clench and your head swim.

Something about saying the words that are hurting you out loud, bringing them to life and making them real, cuts deeper than just thinking them ever will.

It’s ridiculous. You’ve only known them, really known them, for a few weeks. Only slept with them few enough times to count on one hand. It’s not like you even have a relationship to mourn, or a commitment to be broken. But still, you’re swiping a hand over your eyes, tamping down your uneven breathing so that your roommates won’t hear you.

This is so stupid. You’re going to bed, and you’re going to wake up and not give a shit anymore.

---------------

You wake up and give less of a shit.

Not the first day, of course. It takes like a week.

That’s two more times of seeing and avoiding the boys in your shared class, but eventually, you do give less of a shit. Graduation is approaching anyway, and if you can just hold out long enough, you never have to see any of them again.

But graduation and the end of the term means that your undergraduate academic career is drawing to a close. Your thesis is due, your classes are ending, your commitments are petering out.

You’re ready. As much as you sort of wish you were a different kind of person, your previous nearly-four years of school were all spent laying low. You have your friends, and your roommates, and classmates, but you’re by and large a good student with your head on straight. Your thesis is complete, already, with time to spare. For once in your life, you haven’t procrastinated. The digital file of it sits on your desktop, polished from abstract to citations, ready to go.

Actively avoiding large social situations in order to avoid those three people you want to see least has given you plenty of time for school. It’s a lame silver lining, but it’s a silver lining nonetheless.

D-Day for the climax of your academic career comes faster than you would have thought possible.

It’s comforting in its own way to present your thesis on the same day as the rest of your small department. The whole lot of you are scheduled to give your half-hour talks back-to-back on a long Saturday afternoon. Visitors are free to come and go, coffee and pastries are available on the school’s dime, and friends and family are welcome to come listen and support their graduates.

You’re sat in the front row with the other seniors, your friend and classmate Sana by your side. You fiddle with the shoulder straps of your nice dress, not necessarily nervous but just anticipating the fact that a hundred-odd eyes will be on you soon.

“Did anyone come?” Sana asks.

You shrug. “My roommates.”

“No one else?” she asks.

Her tone is even and unpitying, but the unspoken question is clear – no family?

“My parents don’t live very close,” you tell her, “It’s fine. They’ll watch the video that the department posts on the website.”

Sana nods, nudging you a little with her shoulder. “We’ll all cheer extra, okay?”

You appreciate it, silently. You’re not bothered much that your parents couldn’t (or wouldn’t, as you suspect the case may be) get a flight all the way to your school to watch your thesis presentation in person. It’s okay. Just one more shitty thing to throw into the garbage fire that is your emotional state, as of late.

But it’s fine. You’re not giving a shit.

The presentation itself passes in the blink of an eye. You’re called up to the stage by your faculty advisor, and then you’re giving your closing remarks, seemingly in the space of one breath. You know your material so thoroughly; your sources and your slides are like part of your body. Rattling off your data is second nature. Your main argument might as well be your own birthday, for how solidly it lives in your head. Your infographics might as well be drawn inside your eyelids, mapped out on your skin, so close by for the last couple years. It’s all part of you.

And when you’re done, and your eyes focus again on the crowd, the clapping and modest cheers echo around the small auditorium.

You can see Sana and Dahyun making fools of themselves down front, in the name of applauding you extra hard. But as you’re scanning the crowd for Kun and Aisha, to meet their eyes and know where to find them after you’ve come down from the stage, you see something else.

Three somethings. Three someones.

There are three seats, in the middle of a row, that are empty. And standing up, walking down the row and away, toward the back door to escape without a word, there they are.

All three of them. They’re dressed so nicely, in shirts and sweaters and slacks, rather than the jeans and hoodies that you’ve come to know. It looks like they’re really here to cheer someone on, to fit into this room of proud parents and friends. And they’re leaving.

They came…to see you?

They watched your presentation all the way to the end, and now they’re leaving.

You can feel the way your stomach has fallen, the way your pulse pounds in your ears. You’re sure your expression is ghastly. All you want to do is shout after them, as they walk away, backs to you. As Chan reaches to push the door open, as Jisung and Changbin follow him out.

You don’t say anything, but you want to. You can feel the words bubbling in the back of your throat, pushing past that lump that threatens tears, through the pride you had felt in yourself that’s just been shattered against the floor.

Come back.

---------------

Big significant things really shouldn’t happen at places where you never expect anything to happen.

That’s the rationale you’re going to stick with, just to make yourself feel better. You just aren’t expecting it, and that’s why your choices are so questionable. Because you never expect anything important to happen at Monster Coffee, the little coffee takeout shop on the corner, perfectly halfway between your apartment and campus.

You just need a big latte. Just a large hot vanilla latte, and then you can get back to finishing the rest of your assignments. It’s a Monday afternoon, the week after your senior thesis, and you’re determined to get your homework done today, for the whole rest of the week.

There are only three weeks left of the term, and four until you graduate. You don’t want any more stress. You’ve had enough stress for a lifetime.

As you lean against the wall, waiting for the familiar, kind older woman behind the counter to make your coffee, the little bell above the front door rings as someone comes in. You don’t even look up, busy on your phone, but the voice that speaks nearly makes you lose it right there on the spot.

“Hey, there’s my girl.”

You let your eyes wander up, and there’s Jisung.

He smiles at you like nothing’s changed. Has anything changed?

“Am I in your way?” you ask, leaning slightly to one side as if to let him past, and Jisung’s expression falls a little.

“Do you…not want to talk to me?” he asks.

You’re taken aback. Why would he care? Why would any of them care?

“I dunno, why would I want to?” you say, more fiercely than you mean it to sound.

“Just cuz you’re mad at Chan doesn’t mean you have to be mad at me, too,” Jisung says curtly.

He turns, with that, and orders his own coffee, leaving you standing there shell-shocked.

“I’m not mad at Chan,” you say to Jisung’s back. “Why would you think that?”

Jisung doesn’t answer you until he’s paid and moved away from the register.

“Well, you’ve been ignoring us,” he says, “And Chan’s the only one who’s done anything to piss you off, fucking asshole that he can be. So it’s not crazy to assume.”

“I’m not mad at Chan,” you repeat.

“Then you’re mad at someone,” he says.

“Why do I have to be mad?”

“Because you’re ignoring us.”

You bristle. “You guys are ignoring ME!”

“Chan kind of is, I won’t deny that. But you haven’t reached out at all,” Jisung says.

“Maybe I just don’t know what to say!” you say, frustrated.

Jisung shrugs. “And I’m saying that there’s probably a reason for that. You’re mad.”

“Look, I’m not the one who-”

You cut yourself off. You’re not about to get into this here, in public, surrounded by people who you will certainly see again. This is a place that you frequent, you don’t need to make a scene. The barista calls your order, saving you if only for a moment, and you dart over to collect your coffee and your thoughts.

Chan blew you off at that party to go seduce someone new with Changbin and Jisung, exactly the way they seduced you. Probably exactly the way they’ve seduced people before you. You’re not special. You never should have assumed that you were.

Without a word, you turn your back on Jisung, and bluster out the door again. You put distance between yourself and the coffeeshop, walking as fast as you can without running. You’re not running away. Or, at least, you don’t want to look like you are.

“You can’t run away forever,” comes Jisung’s voice, right behind you, like he’s reading your mind.

You glance back and he’s there, steaming cup clutched in one hand. He’s following you.

“Yes, I can,” you counter. “I’m good at it. I’m doing it right now.”

“Well maybe I don’t want you to run from me,” he says.

“You have plenty of people to hook up with,” you reply, still walking away, “You don’t need to make a big deal about this. Just leave me alone.”

He keeps pace with you, staying just a step behind. “Sure, but those people aren’t you.”

“Don’t try to flatter me,” you roll your eyes.

“I’m not trying to flatter you, shit. I’m just being honest. I just miss you,” Jisung says.

“You can’t miss me,” you say, scathing, whipping around to face him. “You don’t even know me.”

“I do, though.”

“No you don’t. You’ve fucked me. You’ve messed around with me. But you don’t fucking know me,” you say.

“Then let me take you out.”

You blink. “Excuse me?”

Jisung’s voice is even, his face serious. “Let me take you out. On a date. A real one. And I’ll get to know you.”

“But you �� you and the others-”

“Fuck the others, I can date freely,” Jisung says, “I’m a person with autonomy and an open relationship.”

“So, what, then?” you cross your arms, “Dinner date? Or a movie or something? With you?”

“If you’ll let me,” Jisung nods.

You want to say no. You want to retreat back to your cave and work on being alone, continue to lick your wounds that you’ve given yourself by being emotionally open for once and having it immediately come back to bite you.

But then again…you took a risk on these three. A risk that’s so unlike you. You just wanted to fuck around a little, and instead you got a strange friendship and maybe a burgeoning situationship that went to shit so fast that you never even got to imagine what it could have been.

You’re curious. Part of you, a bigger part than you want to admit, wants to know exactly what Jisung thinks he can do to make this all right, and fix how you feel.

So you look him dead in the eye. “Okay.”

“Really?” he asks, perking back up.

“Yeah, really. You can have one chance.”

“It’s not a chance,” he insists, “I’m not trying to pull anything. I just miss you.”

You find that hard to believe.

“We can go out,” you say again. “Just once.”

Jisung smiles at you, all round cheeks and his charming crooked front tooth. You hate how much you like it.

“I won’t let you down,” he promises.

---------------

Jisung’s idea of a good date is a surprise to you, but considering what you know about his personality, it really shouldn’t be. He sends you the address right away, after you’ve parted ways on the sidewalk. But you don’t bother looking at it until Thursday afternoon, when you’ve planned to meet up. You sling on an actual outfit and make the journey across the neighborhood to the address.

It’s a dessert café. A tiny place with a stone and flower garden and a rooftop terrace that overlooks the rest of the hanok houses in the neighborhood. Jisung is sat on a bench out front when you walk up, and the look he gives you when he spots you makes you very nearly blush.

“That’s not what you were wearing before,” he says.

He means early this morning, in class, and you glance awkwardly down at your dress and the blouse layered beneath. You never dress up for class, and especially not your morning classes.

“I didn’t want – this is a date, after all,” you reply, uneasy.

“It’s nice,” he assures you, “Just so…feminine.”

You’d never put much thought into how outwardly feminine you appear, or don’t appear, as it seems to be. Jisung isn’t being rude about it, but still. You wonder what he thinks of you, why it would surprise him that you’re just…wearing some clothes. Are you that lazy, the rest of the time?

Your self-consciousness must show on your face, because Jisung just hops off the bench and nods toward the door.

“This place has great cheesecake,” he says.

“You like cheesecake?” you ask, amused despite yourself.

“Love it,” he grins.

The inside of the café is painted white and vaguely industrial in that way that trendy urban places like to be, with interesting metal lighting fixtures and monochrome art in rustic frames.

“Can I order for you?” Jisung asks, “I wanna surprise you.”

“Sure,” you agree, almost too easily.

His thoughtfulness surprises you. You’re not certain exactly what you would have expected from Jisung, but it’s not this kind of soft, open affection, the eagerness to treat you. While Jisung orders, you snag a table in the corner with nobody around, near a front window, overlooking the neat little garden.

“You like the window seat, huh?” Jisung comments, as he joins you with the little order number standee.

“I like to people-watch,” you say. “I usually go places alone, so it passes the time.”

“You don’t need to go places alone,” he says.

“I don’t mind it,” you tell him, as he sits down to face you.

“But you don’t need to. I’ll go anywhere with you.”

He says it with such a goofy smile, you just reach across the tabletop and shove him gently on the shoulder.

“Shut up! You have two boyfriends to stay loyal to, go flirt with them,” you hush him.

“They know all my best lines, it’s not as fun,” he replies. “Plus, there’s always room in my heart for more.”

“More and more,” you say idly.

“Always on the hunt,” he jokes.

You smile, but then you ruin it for yourself. You look at Jisung, so happy and calm, so ready to flirt and add more people to his little circle of intimacy, and you see that party. That night, with that other person in front of him. You wonder how Hyunjin compares to you. You wonder if he’s replaced you as the newest toy.

“So,” Jisung says, oblivious to your internal plight, “I want to get to know you.”

“Do you really?” you ask.

“That’s what this is about, right?” he leans his chin in his hand, elbow propped on the table between the two of you. “Just tell me about you.”

“Let’s see…” you say, at a loss for what to share with him.

“What’s your favorite color?” he asks, with a grin.

You tell him.

“Favorite food?”

You tell him.

“I know your coffee order…” he hums, “What about your drink order, at the bar?”

With a half-smile, you tell him that, too.

“Those are all my Tinder date questions,” he quips, “Now tell me something interesting.”

He’s looking at you so expectantly, so sweet. But you can’t shake the way you’ve been feeling for so many weeks now.

“I saw you that night,” you say, voice low.

You can’t hold it back. He needs to know, before you do anything else.

“Saw me?” he repeats.

The café host approaches the table, giving you a second to organize your thoughts as he places down your tray, the drinks and the plate holding Jisung’s cheesecake. The man excuses himself just as quickly as he came.

“At that party,” you say. “The frat party. I was there. I saw you.”

Jisung’s eyes blow wide, and his smile fades, and you know that he knows what you mean.

“So, you saw us,” he clarifies, “You…you saw…”

“I saw,” you nod.

“You could have said hi,” Jisung says weakly.

You want to tell him. You want to say how Chan saw you, spoke to you, and left you there, left you standing there staring after him like a fucking idiot. You want to say how much that hurt you. But you can’t. There are tears prickling the corners of your eyes, threatening to well up and fall if you even try to tell him.

So you don’t. You swallow the sentiment, and you put on a brave smile, as brave as you can muster. You’re not going to let him know exactly how vulnerable you really are. Nobody gets to know that. Not now.

Jisung just regards you for a moment, looking more hurt than you expected. More ashamed. You take the drink that he offers you, an iced thing with flowers floating on the pale surface of the liquid, and you take a sip. It tastes like lavender, light and sweet.

“We didn’t fuck Hwang Hyunjin.”

You look up at Jisung in confusion. “You didn’t? Why not?”

His expression is sheepish. “He turned us down.”

“Oh.”

You’re quiet for a moment.

“Would you have slept with him if he was up for it?” you ask.

“Maybe,” Jisung replies, honest and flat.

“Would you have wanted him to dom you guys, too?” you ask, hoping that the jealousy isn’t dripping from your voice like you fear it is.

Jisung tilts his head, regards you with big eyes. “Have you ever had sex without, like, strict roles? Just sex? Nobody domming or subbing or anything?”

You have to think about that one.

“Yeah,” you say, after a moment, “Yeah, I have. But it’s never very good.”

“How do you mean?”

“I dunno,” you shrug, stirring your straw around in your drink, “If I’m sleeping with a man, he tends to need some kind of plan. If I dom, that’s a plan. I can make sure that everything is okay and that everyone has fun.”

“You can have fun just being intimate with someone,” Jisung says.

“Some people can, I’m sure. Maybe I just can’t,” you say.

“I think you can.”

“Well, I sure haven’t done it yet,” you say.

“Maybe you just haven’t had plain sex with anyone who actually cares about you,” Jisung says.

And if that isn’t just a little too real. In a dom/sub situation, there are rules. The players set the rules, and then follow them. Feelings don’t have to factor in at all. Some people seek out kink arrangements nonsexually, just to enjoy the dynamic and the care that comes with a safe and properly structured scene.

You enjoy domming, and you’re more interested in subbing than ever before, but as for pleasant, equal vanilla sex…you just don’t know.

“Do you want to try?” Jisung asks.

“Try…”

“Just doing it. No rules, no roles,” he says.

“With you?” you ask, incredulous.

“No one better,” Jisung quips lightly.

You sip at your drink again, letting that rich herb and coffee flavor wash over you as you think. If there was anyone who could pull you out of your shell and let you just exist without pretense, Jisung might just be that person. You think back to that first night together, when you teased him by suspending him on the back of the couch with only your arms holding him up, that low-risk high-tension game. You were there to catch him.

It’s not far-fetched to imagine that he could return the favor.

“If I don’t like it, we stop,” you warn.

Jisung grins. “That’s how all sex should work.”

“Don’t be a pain, you know what I mean.”

“I know,” he agrees.

This is a bad idea. It’s probably a terrible idea, actually. But Jisung, here in his big hoodie and messy hair, handsome and casual…he’s just so tempting. You think about the way he sounded beneath you, the way his body looked on display for you.

You think about how he held you, that night that in your kitchen, the way that he was there for you even though he didn’t have to be. Your emotions aren’t his responsibility, and neither are Chan’s actions, but he was still there.

You think about how he fought with Chan over you, and your safety and comfort, when he thought you couldn’t hear.

Maybe you can let Jisung in, just a little.

---------------

Jisung’s apartment is a lot like your own. It’s a small student housing building, a three-bedroom unit that he shares with two other people from your university. You don’t get much of a chance to look around, though, because you’re wrapped around Jisung as soon as the front door is closed behind you.

Your hands are fisted in his hoodie, his arms locked around your waist, as the two of you trip out of your shoes and jackets around each other.

“I don’t think the girls are home,” Jisung pants against your mouth.

“The girls?” you answer, “Your roomies are both girls?”

He nods. “Chae and Ryu. Their rooms are dark, I think they’re out.”

“Explains a lot about you,” you tease.

“That I live with girls?” he grins.

“Yeah, maybe that’s why you’re not such an asshole. Sheer exposure.”

“I mean, Chan and ‘Bin both have sisters,” Jisung shrugs as best he can, and leans in to kiss you again, “And they’re still like that.”

You laugh. “I guess some people can’t be saved.”

If Jisung’s roommates were home, they’d be getting an eyeful, because you strip off Jisung’s hoodie right there in the entry. He reappears from under the garment, hair even more mussed, looking surprised and amused. He’s not wearing anything beneath, so you have a perfect view of his slim torso, his narrow hips dipping under the waistband of his tight jeans.

“You’re bold,” he says, sounding more admiring than bothered. “Not even in your own home and you’re ready to get it on right here.”

“I just couldn’t wait,” you pout, “You’re so pretty, and I missed-”

You choke back that admission, but Jisung picks up on it anyway. His expression softens, as he collects his discarded hoodie and herds you back toward the bedrooms, but he doesn’t say anything. You’re grateful for that.

“I know more or less what you like,” Jisung says, as he lets you into his room, “So you just let me know if I do anything that you don’t like. But you know that.”

His room is more of what you’d expect from a college boy’s room than Changbin’s and Chan’s were. It’s messy, full of school papers and clothes thrown on the floor. But it’s homey, and the whole place smells like detergent and scented candles. He’s messy, but not dirty.

The bedroom door shuts, and it’s just you and him and the gentle evening sunlight filtering through his sheer curtains. Jisung’s hands find the back of your dress, toying with the dainty zipper that splits the fabric down your spine.

“I’m going to take this off,” he says.

It’s not a question, not an order. Just a statement, with room for you to confirm or deny.

“Okay,” you say.

He smiles. He nods. Easy as that, his fingers pull down the zip, and the dress falls from your shoulders to pool on the floor at your feet. You’re left in your blouse and your panties, and Jisung just regards you with fondness.

“Are you nervous?” he asks.

The question surprises you. You don’t think that you’re nervous. You know how sex works, at every turn and for all kinds of acts, and you know Jisung well enough to not have to worry about how he’ll be in bed, or if he’ll like what you have to offer.

But still, you’re stiff. You’re in no rush to get out of your clothes, nearly bashful when usually you pride yourself on your easy aloof confidence in the bedroom.

“I don’t…” you hesitate, “I don’t know how to do this if I’m not, like…”

“In control?” Jisung guesses. “That makes sense.”

“I still want to do it,” you say.

“We can just take it slow, it’s all okay,” he tells you.

You nod.

Jisung goes for his own jeans next, sliding out of the denim like he’s nothing, and you envy his easy comfort. Without your dom mask, without complete control of who speaks and who touches and who moves, you don’t know what to do with yourself. You don’t know how to just enjoy.

“I wanna kiss you again,” Jisung says.

Again, it’s just a casual statement. Not laced with anything, no force behind it. You marvel at him.

You reach out at that, not trusting your words to serve you, and he all but falls into your arms, cupping your face in both hands as he presses his lips to yours gently.

“I don’t know what you’re so scared of,” he says, sneaking the sentence between kisses, “But you don’t have to be scared with me.”

“It’s not like a switch I can flip,” you say, pulling away from his kiss-bitten mouth to bury your face in the soft juncture of his shoulder. “I just can’t relax. I can’t help it.”

His hands smooth down your back, over the fabric of your blouse.

“We’ll work on it,” he promises, “Starting with this.”

Jisung goes for the first button on your blouse, and you say nothing as you let him pop the delicate fixtures out of their loops. And when he’s finished, he just lets his hands slide back up to your face, thumb grazing your cheek.

“No bra,” he comments.

“That dress has all that padding up top, it was bulky,” you say.

“Oh, I’m not complaining.”

His smile is soft and sneaky, and you can’t help the rush of affection that you feel for him as he gazes at you. Just like that night in your kitchen, Jisung sits down on his bed, and pats his lap, as if to invite you. And also like that night, you come right over to straddle him, settle your legs on either side of his hips. There are only two thin layers separating your heat, tentatively wet from the promise of something more, from him.

But for once, your first thought isn’t about how to get from this to sex. No, it’s about how warm Jisung is, how his little frame holds you up, how he curls into you. How nice it is to just be held, like you’re something special.

“We could totally just dry-hump like this, if you’re really too freaked out,” Jisung says conversationally, words muffled into your hair.

You laugh.

“I’ve had enough of that for a lifetime,” you reply.

“Were you a horny teenager, too?” he asks.

“The horniest,” you agree.

“Doesn’t surprise me.”

You both laugh at that.

Jisung takes hold of your blouse and tugs it off your shoulders, tossing it without a care in favor of tracing his warm palms from your collarbones, down your front, to tweak your nipples just to be annoying, letting his hands finally come to rest on your hips.

“You’re still beautiful,” he tells you. “I was worried you’d have changed since before.”

“Changed how?” you ask.

He looks you in the eye, very sincerely. “Third boob.”

“Stupid,” you mutter, rolling your eyes at him and trying to stifle your shocked laughter.

“It’s a valid concern,” he insists, obviously very intent on fucking with you.

If he’s doing it to break the tension and put you more at ease, then he’s doing an amazing job. But he’s still a dumbass. You don’t need to encourage it by laughing.

“You’d still be pretty with an extra tit, but it would take some getting used to,” Jisung continues.

“You’re really fixated on this,” you say.

“I have nightmares sometimes. Body horror.”

You can’t with him. You climb off Jisung’s lap and he whines at the loss of your warmth, but you just crawl up the bed and collapse on your back against his pillows. He turns to watch as you get situated, settling more comfortably, stretching so that your spine pops.

“Can we do it like this?” you ask.

“Do the sex?” he smirks.

Your face burns with self-consciousness, but you fight through it.

“I wanna see you,” you say, “I wanna just…”

“No, no, we absolutely can,” Jisung soothes immediately, still smiling and so, so calm.

He makes his way up the bed after you, pausing to press a kiss to your knee, and beside your navel, and then the center of your chest, as he moves to cover you with himself. He smirks once you’re face to face, and quirks an eyebrow.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” you answer, suddenly breathless.

“I haven’t gotten to taste you yet,” Jisung says, “Can I?”

“If you want to, sure,” you say.

“I want to,” Jisung assures you.

He snaps the waistband of your panties against your skin gently, and at your little squeak of encouragement, he slides down the bed so that he’s even with your covered heat. He runs a finger over you, through the panties, and you shiver.

“Lift your hips for me?” he requests.

You do, picking yourself up so that he can slide the thin fabric off you.

“Only a taste,” Jisung says, as he tickles his fingers along the skin on the outside of your slit. “I want us to cum together.”

“How romantic of you,” you reply, “But what if I just wanna cum like this AND like that?”

“If that’s really what you want, I can do that,” Jisung says easily. “But I also think you’ll like it if we just save it up.”

“Cumming together is nice,” you admit.

“Then just let me have this taste,” he hums.

He brings his face back down to you, and at your whine, he leans in to spread you with one hand and lick a gentle stripe up your core. It’s just soft pressure, teasing, not enough to get you off, by a long shot, but plenty to make you sigh and melt against the mattress.

His careful fingers and mouth search you, not taking so much as giving, just exploring your body slowly. You try to keep your mind blank and open, as you squirm and push your hips into the pressure, and Jisung lets you.

No roles. No rules.

He pulls back after a few long moments, and you catch your breath in his wake.

“I know the whips and cuffs are fun,” Jisung mumbles against the soft skin of your thigh, “But isn’t it nice to just be here with me?”

Suddenly, you can hear Chan’s voice in your head, saying something so similar but delivered so differently.

“You could admit that even if you’re not in charge and acting all high and mighty, you just like being here with me.”

You push the memory away. Why does everyone want you to let go so badly? Don’t they know that control is the only think keeping people from just…losing it? From losing themselves? You feel like you’re always a hair’s breadth from losing yourself anyway, why make it easier?

Why let go?

“I do like it,” you say, very very quietly, barely more than a breath.

Whether Jisung hears you or not, you don’t know. But he doesn’t react. He just presses a kiss to the inside of your leg, and sits up a bit so he can slide off his underwear, too.

“We haven’t really gotten to do this, have we?” Jisung comments.

He’s right, you realize. You’d teased him plenty, that other night, and given him what was less than half a blowjob, but you haven’t had Jisung like this yet.

“Condom or no condom?” you ask him.

“That’s up to you,” he replies, “More consequence to you if something goes wrong. I’m fine with either.”

“Can we do it without?” you half-whisper.

“Anything you want,” Jisung answers easily.

He’s back on top of you before you know it, face hovering above yours. His slim body rests between your legs, holding himself up on his knees as he gets settled there.

“It is kinda weird like this,” you say.

“What do you mean?” he grins.

You gesture vaguely between the two of you. “I dunno. Missionary?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“I feel like I’m just laying her doing nothing,” you complain.

“That’s not true. And even if it was, it’s okay to want that, sometimes,” Jisung says. “This is just about us being here, remember? Just two people, nothing else.”

You knew this would be hard for you, this whole thing about just being, existing rather than planning and doing. But you didn’t expect that you would be able to talk about it openly like this. Jisung’s not shy, and he’s not bothered by your hesitation. You don’t know how he’s managing it.

He glances downward. “If you’re ready, I’m gonna-”

“Yes,” you interrupt, “Please.”

Jisung is nothing if not responsive. He lines himself up, and pushes in slowly. Luxuriously, almost, just enjoying the slow thick slide of it. You can see in his face just how much he’s enjoying it, as his eyes fall shut and his mouth falls open. He drops more fully on top of you, hands propped near your head on the mattress, driving into you experimentally, slowly.

You know logically that among the three boys, Jisung is technically the least well-endowed. Size is not what matters in the slightest, of course, because you’re not an asshole, but you’re still just human and you’re reasonably curious about how different people perform in bed. You can firmly say, however, that size does not matter with him.

All of your nerves are already on edge from the unintended anxiety of it all, heightening the sensation of him against your sensitive walls. You swear his fingertips burn against your skin as they pry your legs a little farther apart, as they come to smooth up your sides. This isn’t that fuzzy half-awareness like subbing, or that analytical pretense of domming. This is just the feeling of it, not better or worse, just extremely different.

There’s no game to play, nothing to think about.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Jisung asks, voice thin.

You didn’t realize you had closed your eyes, but you have to open them to look up at his face. There’s a single thin bead of sweat trailing down from his hairline, and you reach up to brush it away. You admire his face for a second, letting the pleasure build up in you, steady and warm and calm. Jisung has such round, soft features, not as masculine as his two boyfriends but pretty and striking in a different way.

“Pretty,” you murmur.

Jisung smiles, showing you that slightly crooked front tooth that you’re a bit obsessed with. “Thanks, but I’m sure that’s not what you were thinking.”

You laugh gently. “I was thinking…that I don’t have to think.”

“You’re psyching yourself out about not thinking?”

He’s making a face at you, and you squirm a bit under him, lifting one leg higher to hook it around his back. That changes the angle a bit, so he’s driving into you infinitesimally deeper, and it sends a shiver up your spine.

“I’m always thinking,” you say, “And you said I’m not supposed to be overthinking this. What do I do, then?”

“You enjoy,” Jisung says simply.

As if to prove his own point, he sits back a bit, freeing up his hands. He takes a second to brush back your hair, smoothing it back in the places where the gentle rocking of your body as his hips drive home into you mussed the strands against the pillow. It’s tender in a way that makes you almost uncomfortable, familiar and intimate beyond the rest of what you’re doing.

But you are enjoying it.

Jisung lets his hand trail back down to where the two of you meet, and you can feel as he lets his fingertips brush over your folds. You realize with a start that he’s feeling his own cock sink into you, and that notion sends another wave of pleasure through you, right from your head to the curl of your toes.

“If we keep going like this, I’m not gonna last much longer,” Jisung tells you.

“That’s okay,” you answer.

That’s what this is about, right? That’s what he keeps saying? It’s about being together, not about what does and doesn’t happen.

“I know it’s okay,” he quips, in perfect form even now, “I’m just letting you know.”

When Jisung presses a finger firmly to your clit, you can’t help the gasp that escapes from your throat or the way your hips jump up against his. Your hands fly up to cover your own face, overwhelmed as you are. You didn’t think you were all that close, but as soon as he’s giving you some consistent pressure, combined with the pace he’s keeping, you can feel the prickling beginnings of an orgasm.

“Jisung!” you whine, embarrassed at yourself as soon as your own broken voice hits your ears.

“I know,” he soothes.

He falls back down to lean over you, to peel your hands away and smother your face in kisses. His fingers keep working against your poor clit even as he traps his arm between your bodies.

“Doing okay?” he asks.

You’re face to face, nose to nose, so close that you feel like you could drown in him. You feel like you have cartoon stars in your eyes. You have to, right? With the way your chest is clenching as you look up at Jisung? The way your stomach is falling? This kind of feeling is only in movies, only in shoujo manga.

“I’m okay,” you answer, when you trust your tongue again. “Jisung, I want-”

“You can let go,” he tells you.

So casual. So calm. Just the same. Just Jisung.

For maybe the first time, your orgasm really feels like letting go. It’s not a climb so much as a fall, and you arch into Jisung’s chest. His free hand holds you close, and dimly through your own tremors you can feel his hips stutter to a stop against you as he cums, too, buried deep, so much skin against skin.

“I told you,” he pants, as both of you return to earth, “I told you it would be better together.”

He was right, too.

Suddenly, you’re being turned onto your side, and Jisung is sliding out of you and dropping himself onto the mattress properly behind you. He’s still so warm, a little sweaty in the afterglow, but the contact is nice, so you don’t complain.

“What are you doing?” you ask, amused.

“I wanna be the big spoon,” he says, tugging you more firmly against him.

“You strike me as a little spoon,” you reply.

He loops an arm over the dip of your waist. “I am. Usually. But I wanna be big spoon.”

“Whatever you say.”

Though you’re not quite sure how much time has passed, the sun is gone, and the light coming in the window is now just the last rays of pink and the sharp yellow of streetlights outside. Jisung’s breathing evens out behind you, and you can feel his heartbeat against your back.

You’re no stranger to aftercare, but something feels different, now. Heavier. More sincere. It scares you a little.

“Jisung,” you say, quietly into the twilight.

He perks up right away. “Mm?”

“What does falling in love feel like?”

You can feel the gentle huff of his laughter against the back of your neck. You’re glad he can’t look you in the eye right now. He would absolutely take the chance to tease you, and that would ruin it.

But you can hear the smile on his face when he answers, “Kind of like this.”

---------------

You wake up to voices.

Not for the first time, you roll over in a bed that isn’t yours to find yourself alone. Jisung isn’t in the bedroom, you note, as you sit up and rub the sleep out of your eyes. But there are voices elsewhere in the apartment.

It’s morning. You slept for a long time. You wonder when Jisung left the room, how long you’ve been here alone.

You crawl out of bed and throw on your blouse and panties, not wanting to be caught naked and unawares, and once you’re decent, you move to the bedroom door to take a better listen. The hinges creak a bit as your crack the door and peer out.

“I’m telling you, bro, something about that synth line-”

Chan. It’s Chan’s voice. He’s here, you realize with no small horror, he’s here and so are you.

You’re not ready for this. You can’t face him now, not after sleeping with Jisung like this. Even though your shoes and coat are in the entry, even though he might know you’re back here, you can’t let this happen.

Heart pounding in your chest, you slip on your dress, not bothering to do up the zipper, and gather your things and silently panic as you weigh your options. If you walk out there, Chan will one hundred percent know what happened. If you stay here, you’re trapped, and if he comes to talk to you there’s no easy way out.

But your saving grace comes in the form of a girl’s voice, high and pretty, singing a ballad.

You can hear it through the wall, from the room next door that you vaguely remember as the bathroom, from the glance that you got into the open door as you made your way to Jisung’s room at the end of the hall. Jisung’s roommates are here. They can help.

As you listen, the bathroom door opens, and you peek out the crack you’ve made as subtly as possible. The girl, brunette and wet-haired and slim and beautiful in her pajamas, goes into the bedroom directly across the hall, and leaves the door ajar. So you gather all of your nerve, and you go after her.

“Excuse me?” you say, as quietly as you can.

She jumps, but looks up at you. “Oh! Oh my God, hi!”

“I’m sorry,” you say quickly, “But, look, I’m-”

“I know who you are,” she interrupts.

“Can I come in?” you ask, glancing back over your shoulder in the direction of the living room, where you can still hear Chan’s voice talking enthusiastically.

“Sure,” the girl nods.

You come into her room, and shut the door gently. “Thank you. I can’t – I just – I’m sorry, I can explain, but it’s-”

The girl waves her hand as if to dismiss your fears. “You’re (Y/N), right? I’ve heard a little bit about you.”

You nod. “That’s me. I’m sorry, but I don’t know your name.”

“Chaeryeong,” the girl offers, with a smile.

She really is pretty, with soft features and an interesting nose. You can definitely imagine how this unflappable girl gets along well with Jisung.

“Nice to meet you. Though maybe not like this,” you say wryly.

“Did I hear Chan-oppa out there? Is that why you’re hiding?” Chaeryeong asks.

“It’s a long story but I don’t think he’d be all that happy to see me,” you tell her.

Chaeryeong’s grin turns a little sad. “Then you can hang out here until he goes.”

She sits down at a chair in front of a wooden vanity, picking up a hairbrush from the dressing table and running it through her chestnut-colored hair.

“You can sit on the bed,” she offers.

“Thanks.”

You do as she says, settling against her pastel duvet that smells like the same detergent as Jisung’s. Chaeryeong turns on some music, letting the sound fill the room from her Bluetooth speaker and muffling out the sound of the boys outside.

“I take it things went okay yesterday,” she says.

You glance at her, meeting her eye in the vanity mirror. “On the date, you mean.”

She nods, and you look down at your hands, suddenly self-conscious.

“It went great,” you say, “It’s just the idea of seeing them together again.”

“I don’t know exactly what’s been happening with you all,” Chaeryeong says, “And I really don’t want to know. But I’ll tell you that Jisung is a heart-on-his-sleeve kind of idiot, and he’s been out of his mind over you.”

You can’t help the guilty way that your chest constricts. “I’m fine with Jisung, I promise. It’s just a lot, with all of them. And Chan and I aren’t exactly on great terms.”

Chaeryeong shrugs. “Well, just hang tight. They won’t come in here.”

But just as she says that, there’s a brief knock on the door, and then the knob turns with a squeak and a head peeks in.

“Hey, Chae, do you have my blue – oh.”

It’s not Jisung or Chan, you realize, as your pulse slows again from the racing pace it took up at the sound of the door. It’s the other roommate, another pretty girl. She’s regarding you with big intelligent eyes, brushing her black hair behind her ear as she lets herself into the room all the way and shuts the door again.

“You’re (Y/N),” she says.

“Yeah,” you affirm awkwardly.

She nods. “I’m Ryujin.”

“Your blue sweater is on the closet door,” Chaeryeong tells her.

Ryujin goes to fetch it, but talks at you over her shoulder as she crosses the room. “Chan’s out there eating all the breakfast cereal again, I’d stay in here if I were you.”

“Why d’you think she’s in my room in the first place, dummy?” Chaeryeong says.

“Did the date go okay?” Ryujin asks you, ignoring Chaeryeong entirely.

“It was fine,” you say, “But Chan…”

“Chan’s annoying even when he’s not on your shit list, it’s cool,” Ryujin says, slinging the sweater over her shoulder. “You’re friends with Dahyunnie right? She’s in show choir with us.”

You get the feeling that Ryujin is just as clever as she looks. You like that. A grin creeps across your face before you know it.

“She’s in my department,” you say.

“You’re a senior too, huh?” Ryujin comments, sitting down on the bed across from you, “No offense, but you’re way out of their league. Especially Chan’s.”

“Don’t be mean,” Chaeryeong scolds.

“It’s true,” says Ryujin, focusing unimpressed eyes on her roommate. “At least Changbin is really as charming as he acts and Jisung is genuinely a nice person. Chan’s fake as hell.”

“Fake?” you echo, intrigued even as your stomach sinks.

Ryujin nods. “He’s hard to read. I feel like everything I know about him is just something he wants me to think. Like a veneer. None of it is real.”

“You’re kind of right. I don’t even know him at all,” Chaeryeong pipes up, “Like, I know he eats all the food whenever he’s here and that Jisung likes him, but beyond that…”

“That’s what I mean,” says Ryujin.

You laugh humorlessly. “Hey, I’ve seen his O-face and even I don’t think I actually know anything about him.”

“Ew,” Chaeryeong sends you a disgusted look.

Ryujin laughs at that, and it’s stunning, the transformation of her face between rest and mirth. She’s got a pretty smile, and it makes you grin just to see it.

You know that the three of you are being kind of mean to Chan, behind his back, but there’s something so therapeutic about it. These two girls aren’t involved parties, but they also don’t need to be brought up to speed on anything. They’re in the perfect middle zone to talk to about the trouble you’re having, aware but not involved.

And for whatever reason, they seem to be on your side.

“Sorry again, for busting in on you,” you say sheepishly.

Chaeryeong shrugs dramatically as she walks over to her closet. “You’re good. We have enough girls coming and going, between choir and dance and everything. One more friend isn’t gonna kill us.”

“A friend?” you grin.

“Sure. We can be friends,” Ryujin says, surprising you.

You would have expected the easy camaraderie from Chaeryeong, not Ryujin, but it feels so much more validating coming from the more stoic roomie.

“I’d like that,” you say.

“They’re coming this way,” says Chaeryeong suddenly.

You glance at her. “The guys?”

She nods, hopping up from her vanity and going to the door. “Jisung’s room.”

Sure enough, you can hear footsteps in the hall, and hushed voices barely louder than the music from Chaeryeong’s speaker. She cracks the door to spy better, and you can hear Jisung’s worried pleading from outside.

“Dude, I told you I’d get the drive myself.”

“I saw the jacket by the door,” comes Chan’s voice, combative and steely. “If you’re embarrassed about getting your dick wet, then don’t bring people home without telling me.”

“It’s not that, I just don’t think – dude!” Jisung yelps, and you hear the other door bounce open.

There’s a beat, and then a sigh from Chan.

“There’s nobody here,” he says pointedly.

Ryujin looks at you. “Watch this.”

She stands up and walks right out the bedroom door, careful to keep you out of sight as she closes it most of the way behind her. Chaeryeong keeps watching, sending you a questioning glance over her shoulder.

“Hey, Ryujin,” you hear Jisung say.

“Hey. Is there room for my new coat on the rack?” she asks. “Or should I keep it in my room?”

“Your coat?” Jisung asks, so, so stupid.

“Yeah. Is it in the way?”

“Your coat,” says Chan, this time.

“That’s what I said,” Ryujin’s voice is impatient. “Okay, obviously it’s fine. Cool.”

And with that, she returns to the bedroom.

“Now it’s my coat. Not yours,” Ryujin says to you, with a smirk. “You’re safe.”

But you’re focused on something else.

“He didn’t know it was me,” you say slowly.

“Huh,” Ryujin sits back on the bed, closer to you this time, “No, I guess not. He would’ve been twice as pissy if he knew it was you.”

“Should I be offended that he didn’t notice that was all my stuff?” you wonder.

“You said he wouldn’t be happy to see you,” Chaeryeong points out, “I’d say you dodged a bullet.”

She’s right, but you don’t like it. You let yourself fall onto your back on the duvet; you’ve just woken up, but you’re so tired. It’s the stress. You’re too stressed. And to make matters worse, as you raise your arms to stretch, your dress pulls over your legs, and you’re suddenly aware of another gross sensation between your thighs. You groan to yourself.

Ryujin glances down at you. “Do you wanna shower?”

You wonder if she can read minds. It wouldn’t surprise you.

“I just wanna go home,” you admit.

“We can sneak you past the boys,” Ryujin says, “No prob.”

“Want me to call you a cab?” Chaeryeong asks.

They’re too nice. Why is everyone so nice to you?

“Sure,” you say, though it pains you a bit to accept the help, even though you need it.

Chaeryeong peers into the hall again, and reports, “Coast is clear. They’re in his room, door’s shut.”

“Better not wait,” sighs Ryujin. “C’mon.”

As if you’re a politician and they’re your Secret Service, the two girls flank you out of the bedroom, one in front and one behind. You stop by the front door for your outer and your shoes, and once you’re safely in the stairwell, they fall into step with you, instead.

“What should we tell Jisung?” asks Chaeryeong. “He’s gonna notice that you just vanished.”

You think about it, as you climb down the stairs and leave the building. The girls go with you, right out to the street to wait for your taxi. You wonder if Chan and Jisung could see you from the window, if they looked.

“Just tell him thanks,” you say finally.

“Thanks,” Ryujin repeats. “That’s it?”

“Yeah. Just thanks.”

Ryujin nods. “Any message for Chan?”

She’s obviously teasing, but you do consider it, for just a second.

“I don’t think he needs to hear anything that I would want to say,” you answer.

Chaeryeong comes over tentatively, and slides an arm around your shoulders, like she’s afraid you’re going to push her away. You wouldn’t, though. On the contrary, you’re already plotting how to get Kun to make you breakfast and cuddle with you when you get home. The affection is very much welcome.

“I’m sorry we had to meet like this,” Chaeryeong says.

“If we don’t see you sooner, we’ll definitely come say hi at graduation,” Ryujin adds. “We’ll be there for our club seniors, anyway, so just keep an eye out for us.”

“I will,” you promise.

When your taxi pulls up to the curb, Ryujin opens the door and helps you in. The two of them stand there and wave until they’re out of sight, dots on the pavement behind you.

You feel like you’re always in cabs, miserable and alone, and this morning is no different. Some talk radio program fills the silence of the car, and there are plenty of commuters to watch out the window, but it’s just you, in the backseat, in yesterday’s clothes, with Jisung’s cum dried on the inside of your thighs.

to be continued…

#stray kids smut #3racha smut #bang chan #han jisung #seo changbin #han jisung smut #stray kids jisung smut #stray kids jisung #tw unprotected sex #kpop fanfic #kpop #stray kids #stray kids fanfic

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miraculouscontent · 3 years ago

Photo

where do i even begin

The focus in this episode is all over the place and also on none of the right things.

Let’s just start with the obvious: they didn’t even bother showing Alya's reaction to Marinette being Ladybug. We got nothing. Marinette revealing her identity to Alya is supposed to be a big deal, but the episode brushes it under the rug and even seems to lowkey blame Marinette for not telling Alya sooner, to the point where it outright lies and has Alya claim that Marinette’s secret was responsible for all of Alya’s Lady Wifi appearances.

It’s not like I’m surprised anymore when the show blames Marinette for like--anything, but the fact that this season seems to brag about its continuity by being on a firm timeline and then keeps going against continuity is really irritating.

And speaking of continuity, the Adrien pictures are back on the wall with absolutely no reason given. Narratively speaking, the show put them there so Alya would see them and think of bringing up Adrien to get Marinette to take a break, but the show can’t just do that if it wants to imply that it has continuity. Worse still is that this is the episode featuring “Charm Bug” (does her form have a name? I just call it Charm Bug and continue to do so), meaning that “Gang of Secrets” (where there were no Adrien pictures) has to take place before this and “Furious Fu” (where there are also no Adrien pictures) has to take place after.

At this point, they might as well just confirm that “destiny” is a real force and the ladybug miraculous is messing with Marinette’s room and twisting her emotions to make the love square endgame because--yeah, that’s all it is at this point.

The other thing is that Alya shoos Marinette away from her guardian duties so Marinette can go comfort Kagami (let’s be honest, the best part of the episode was Alya being like, “but what about Adrien?” and Marinette was basically like, “what about Adrien?”), which sounds great, but then it all goes back to Adrien, because of course it does.

Not only that, but the episode mocks Marinette for worrying about Kagami. Not only does Alya doubt Marinette’s concern, but Kagami isn’t at all affected by the break-up and isn’t even touched by Marinette’s worry.

The thing is, I get where Marinette’s coming from, because this is the Kagami who told Ladybug in “Heart Hunter” that she (Kagami) and Adrien were perfect for each other to the point where Kagami prioritized her potentially getting together with Adrien over her friendship with Marinette. Also keep in mind that Marinette is Kagami’s only friend, and it makes total sense that Marinette would expect Kagami to be devastated by the break-up.

But because it’s Miraculous, the show makes Marinette look like an idiot for being concerned for Kagami, as if saying, “Silly Marinette! Kagami’s not like you! Kagami is a strong independent woman!! You’re just so over-emotional and you were ridiculous for being sad about your own break-up! You should be more like her!”

I also don’t like it because it presents Kagami as this character who really does feel nothing due to the show not letting her. She was angry at Adrien, obviously, but she was also immensely upset and it made sense when she put so much effort in trying to get him to return her affections.

Buuuut no. Kagami is just annoyed by Marinette’s efforts to try and get her back together with Adrien (it’s not that her anger isn’t warranted, but that’s all they let her feel instead of any genuine sadness over the break-up).

And of course, there’s no mention about Marinette literally trying to help get Kagami back together with Adrien and how selfless that is on Marinette’s part. Obviously I don’t agree with Marinette disregarding Kagami’s feelings (I do hate though how the episode refused to have Kagami explain why Adrien upset her, which would help Marinette understand because she seems to think there’s a misunderstanding/Kagami doubting herself), but the episode refuses to acknowledge Marinette’s good intentions because it’s Marinette and because she’s supporting Adrimi and not the love square, so they’ll make her look as bad as possible. This led to the fandom talking about Marinette and her oBsEsSiOn with Adrien instead of saying UM HI YEAH MARINETTE IS DOING A “HEART HUNTER” 2.0??

(The show also does this consistently, by the way.)

Another thing the show won’t acknowledge is that what Marinette does with Kagami is extremely similar to what Alya does with Marinette. Alya has ignored Marinette’s agency, physically pushed her towards Adrien, and locked her in a room with Adrien no matter how many times Marinette has told her no and that she doesn’t want that.

But because it’s Marinette and because what she’s shipping is Adrimi (i.e: a ship that interferes with the love square), the episode absolutely tears her apart for it. If Alya’s meddling was treated the same way - where she’d be constantly put in the wrong and punished for it - I wouldn’t say a word about this, but we know that’s not the case from “Reflekdoll” (where Reflekta targeted Marinette and Rose of all people) and “The Puppeteer 2″ (hey, remember when Alya did all of that and then it was the museum staff who did nothing wrong who got the worst of Puppeteer’s wrath?).

And this isn’t even taking into consideration that, once again, Marinette has learned something from someone else because they were never called out or punished or learned (originally being Adrien/Bustier where she “learned” to trust Chloe and see where that got her???), and then she’s the one who gets the heat for it.

Might I also add how insulting it is that the episode before this had Marinette saying that she “didn’t want to focus on love,” and then immediately afterwards, Alya is pushing for Adrienette and the episode itself won’t let anyone shut up about Adrien?

Like, this is the episode where Marinette does guardian stuff, gets an upgrade in Charm Bug, and yet the episode hyperfocuses on Aaaaaadrien. He doesn’t even do anything; he’s just a black hole that inhales all available attention and magically pulls all the characters towards his general location.

Then the episode keeps breaking its own continuity as an excuse to make things more about Adrien and also more about the love square, like saying that Marinette carries her disguises everywhere when it’s really just an excuse for Marinette to conveniently have the umbrella so that they can recreate the umbrella scene (by the way, the line from Marinette about “recreating Kagami’s moment where she fell in love with Adrien” is both incredibly forced and incredibly obvious because we’ve never even seen how Kagami fell for Adrien).

And when you already know how the show goes, it all becomes so predictable, which is a huge problem. By the time you hear Marinette say that she “didn’t want to focus on love” last episode, you already know what’s going happen. This episode reaffirms Marinette’s crush on Adrien, which is weird because it’s not as if there was ever any doubt in the first place? The show didn’t even try to convince its audience that Marinette was actually trying to move on, which gives the scene no impact when it happens. We already know that Marinette isn’t really in denial (she’s not stupid) and is very likely saying that she’s not in love with Adrien because admitting it hasn’t gotten her anywhere and she’s repeating something to herself is an attempt to make it true (which is a common coping mechanism for people with self-esteem issues/anxiety), so the scene is just for shipping fuel.

We’ve seen future episodes that show that Marinette hasn’t made any actual progress, hence being another piece of evidence towards my theory that the show does it on purpose to get the Adrienette fans to freak out when anything happens even if it’s reversed in the end. It’s particularly frustrating because it denies Marinette of agency yet again, with her saying something and the show then going lol okay but what if--

It’s gross, and made more so by Kagami watching Marinette and Adrien from a distance and saying that they’re “made for each other.” I’ve talked many times before about how the show is too lazy to have actual chemistry between the love square so they’ll just have characters say that they’re meant to beeeeee, so I won’t go into that, but really, actually think about what Kagami’s saying here.

This is the guy that, in her eyes, abandoned her repeatedly on dates and lied in order to get away from her. She stated outright that Adrien had disappointed her to the point where all of her feelings for Adrien seemed to have completely disappeared and she didn’t even want to be friends with him anymore (at least for now).

Yet, the show had Kagami not only say that line, but told Marinette directly that Adrien was perfect for her. This means either one of two things, neither being good:

- the show intentionally had Marinette do all this so that Kagami would feel embarrassed for Adrien and thus fix all of Adrimi’s relationship problems without Adrien having to do any work to earn her trust back (notice how Adrien in this episode is an “extra good boy” this time around, probably even more than they usually try - keyword: try - to portray him)

- Kagami’s opinion on Adrien hasn’t changed at all and she’s essentially saying that Marinette belongs with this guy who has hurt Kagami, betrayed her trust, and will probably do the same to Marinette

And obviously the show doesn’t think about any of that. It just wants to push for the love square. The only reason there was any focus on Kagami at all was to have a reason to get Marinette to go to Kagami, for Kagami to get angry at Marinette because - as we all know - Marinette “has to mess up and learn in every episode,” so there’d be a reason to go to where Adrien was, and so Kagami could become the next local shipper for the love square.

Marinette didn’t even get to figure out the magical charms by herself; Rena Rouge gave her the answer. It was like the show saw her doing guardian work and shoved her out the door because the only thing she’s good for is being part of the love square. Alya gets seconds of time shown with her looking over the grimoire to figure out the trick, which makes the whole thing underwhelming and rushed when Rena comes up and tells Ladybug that it’s essentially “just been about her” the whole time, meaning it’s just the show yet again being like “see, Marinette? If you’d just figured this out bEfORe...” (note that the episode never tells Marinette that she’s unnecessarily guilting/blaming herself)

But yeah, despite the episode not giving Adrien anything to do, characters talk about him constantly, Marinette somehow doesn’t get the spotlight she needs despite getting a power-up form, and the episode feels the need to constantly railroad Marinette exactly where it wanted to go, not for her, but for the love square, which has always been about not her. It’s already bad when the episode itself is bad, but when it has so much to throw in and delivers on absolutely none of it, it just makes it all the more painful.

#category: salt #episode: Mr. Pigeon 72 #other: ml spoilers #other: ask and answer

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themculibrary · 2 years ago

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Peter & Morgan Masterlist 2

part one

5 Times Morgan Blamed Peter for Tony's Death + 1 Time She Understood That it Wasn't Peter's Fault (ao3) - kianisabitch N/R, 8k

Summary: Morgan is too young to understand trauma and expresses her pain by kicking and pinching Peter and telling him that she hates him and wishes he was dead. Peter responds by hating himself as well and also wishing he was dead.

5 Times Morgan Woke Peter Up And The 1 Time She Couldn't (ao3) - losingmymindtonight G, 25k

Summary: As the world shifts to make space for Morgan Stark, everyone around her shifts, too.

(As it turns out, this also includes Peter Parker's sleep schedule.)

A Happy Ending (ao3) - HeavenKnowsImMiserable G, 1k

Summary: For the entire service, his gaze drifted to Morgan. She was only a goatee away from being the billionaire himself. She looked scared and confused but still carried herself with that one in a million Tony Stark brand of resilience. Morgan would never know that though. Peter lost his parents at Morgan’s age and he knew how wrong it felt when you can’t remember your dad’s laugh or the smell of his aftershave. Peter wasn’t even Tony’s real son and he knew more about her father than she ever would.

(Or, Peter meets Morgan for the first time. He learns he is not as broken as he thought.)

Babysitting (ao3) - just_a_hungry_author N/R, 3k

Summary: Morgan gets sick while Peter is babysitting her. He insists he can handle it, and refuses to call Tony.

Big Brother Protocol (fanfiction.net) - Robotics Fangirl T, 3k

Summary: SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME! After meeting Morgan Stark at his mentor's funeral, Peter realizes he wasn't the only one who lost a father that day.

forty miles (ao3) - peterstank T, 4k

Summary: “I love you,” Peter says. “Father-son styles.”

Or: the one where Morgan is sick and Tony is in way over his head, so he calls his spiderson for a little bit of help.

In Case of Emergency (ao3) - Bowtiez G, 6k

Summary: Babysitting his little sister at the Stark’s lakeside cabin seems like quite the gig for 17-year-old Peter. Of course he’s got that covered- he’s a mature individual and he can watch over a five-year-old for forty-eight hours.

On a totally unrelated note, did anyone know that super-healing doesn’t really work on bacterial infections? It’s a good thing Morgan knows what to do. Well… it’s probably a good thing?

Never Gonna Let You Down (ao3) - Emily_F6 T, 5k

Summary: When Peter agrees to watch Morgan for a week while her parents go on vacation, he’s determined not to let Mr. Stark down. Unfortunately for him, just because he’s Spiderman doesn’t mean he’s immune to the flu.

Not Your Dad! (ao3) - TheDisneyOutsider G, 2k

Summary: Morgan and Peter meet for the first time and Morgan gets a little jealous.

Peppermint Allergy (ao3) - CarpeDiem369 T, 3k

Summary: Peter is spending the next month of summer break with the Stark family! He arrives at the lake house and is greeted by an excited Morgan. When an unexpected allergic reaction puts Peter's life at risk, how will Tony react? Will he be able to save his Spider-kid?

Peter and Harley Babysit Morgan Stark (ao3) - akasharpiegirl G, 2k

Summary: Pepper and Tony haven't gone out on a date in six months, Pepper decides to remedy this catastrophe. But everyone that they normally leave Morgan with, they're all busy. But Harley is up in New York State for a few weeks and Peter is out of school for spring break. And even though Tony is anxious to leave his six-year-old with two teenage boys, he does. Hilarity ensues.

Peter and Morgan's 40-Year-Long-Day (ao3) - thisMarvelousLife T, 26k

Summary: Morgan is far too clever for her own good. She knows that the infinity stones can do anything, so surely they'd let her see her dad again.

Peter never planned on using the stones, he just wanted to keep Morgan out of trouble.

(The time-travel fix-it fic in which Tony lived his life with his kids from the future showing up at random intervals thanks to time stone shenanigans)

Peter Luck (ao3) - Alwaysgurl43 T, 2k

Summary: There isn’t much in this world that Peter Parker feels he deserves. Especially after everything his Peter Luck causes. His parents, Uncle Ben, Tony, people just don’t stay when they’re around Peter for too long. So when Pepper keeps reaching out asking for him to come and get to know his “little sister”, he pushes her away. Morgan is all that is left of Tony Stark and Peter won’t let Peter Luck get to her too.

press zero to speak to a long lost relative (ao3) - ciaconnaa G, 2k

Summary: Morgan and Peter's rescue depends on convincing the newbie working the phones over at the Stark Industries customer service line that they're the real deal.

We Will Foresee Obstacles (ao3) - blackwatchandromeda (avenris) T, 11k

Summary: Post-Endgame fix-it fic because I refuse to accept that part. Contains plenty of Ironfam, with a healthy dose of May, Ned and fake time travel science.

You look like yourself (but you're somebody else) (ao3) - for_the_night T, 13k

Summary: Peter wasn't jealous of Morgan, that wasn't it. Morgan wasn't the problem, it was Tony. Tony who seemed to channel all of his energy into Morgan to the point there didn't seem to be anything left for Peter and he just wasn't sure how much longer he could cope.

#themculibrary #mcu #marvel #peter parker #morgan stark #morgan stark masterlist #masterlists

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tricksters-captain · 4 years ago

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Bucky Barnes imagines - Won’t you take it back?

AN: I don’t think this is my best Bucky fic but it’s inspired by my favourite Billie Eilish song ‘I love you’.

Summary: On a flight back home from a mission, Bucky admits his feelings to you.

Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,527

Warnings: ANGST, set pre infinity war and endgame but post civil war, Sad Bucky... Unrequited Love... Right person, wrong time love...

You sat back against your chair and closed your eyes.

Your whole body ached from the mission but at least you were on your way home.

It hadn’t meant to be too strenuous a mission especially since it was just you and Bucky sent out but you had run into more trouble than you expected. Now your muscles were paying for that.

“You okay?” Bucky asked you as he watched you from his own seat.

“Just tired.” You lazily opened your eyes to look at the man.

His dark hair was tied back out of his face but a few strands had escaped and were hanging loosely by his eyes.

“Are you okay? You took a pretty bad beating back there.” You knew Bucky could handle it but it didn’t stop you from worrying.

“I’m fine.” Bucky assured you.

“You sure?” You cocked your eyebrows at the man. “Looks like those cogs are turning to me.”

Bucky chuckled quietly as you tapped your temple with your index finger.

“These flights just... They’re killing me.” Bucky scratched the back of his head as he leant forward.

“It was Tony’s idea that we take a red eye. Means he doesn’t need to reorganise his entire day if we arrive in the morning to brief him on the mission.”

“I get the concept of a red eye but in practise it makes me wish we never even learnt to fly.” Bucky couldn't help but grumble.

“If we weren’t flying right now, we’d probably be on some ship and that would take even longer to get back to the compound.” You said as you peered out of the window at the night sky.

“I wouldn't mind that.” Bucky admitted, lifting his hand from the chair’s arm and slapping it back down.

“Yes but Steve would.” You turned back to Bucky with a smile. “His best friend and his girlfriend leaving him at the compound for even longer than necessary without back up against Tony and Natasha... He wouldn’t be happy.”

Bucky’s smile faltered at the mention of Steve.

You didn’t notice.

“You ever think about what our lives would have been if things were different?” Bucky asked you after a short moment of silence.

“What do you mean?” You asked curiously.

“What if you had met me before you met Steve?”

“Well I probably would have had my ass handed to me.” You reminded him that if that was the case then you would’ve met Bucky as the Winter Soldier.

“That’s not what I meant.” Bucky murmured, shifting in his seat.

“Then what did you mean, James?” You smirked at the man.

“I meant what would have happened if you fell for me instead of Steve...”

You were hoping it was some kind of trick question but the dark intensity in Bucky’s blue eyes relayed to you that it was serious.

“What?” You laughed slightly to try and break the tension in the air.

Bucky didn’t repeat himself.

“Buck...” You started. “That type of question isn’t... I can’t answer...” You struggled to find the right answer.

“It’s alright.” Bucky brushed it away. “It was a stupid question.”

The pain in Bucky’s eyes as he looked away made your heart seize.

“Bucky...” You said softly, leaning forward slightly. “Buck, you know I love you.”

“Not in the way I want.” Bucky’s head shot back to look at you again.

“Bucky...”

“I love you, (Y/n).” Bucky confessed. “I love you the same way Steve does. The same way every guy who spends more than five minutes with you does. I love you.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying, Buck...” You shook your head as you rose from your seat.

“Yes I do.” Bucky’s eyes followed you as you stood but he remained in his seat.

“No, no you don’t.” You turned your back on the man. “You can’t mean that. Y-You can’t mean that, Bucky, because I’m with Steve. I’m with your best friend. You can’t say that. You can’t tell me you love me...”

“But I do.” Bucky’s voice held as much pain as his eyes had. “I love everything about you. I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love the way you always go for the same knife because you think it’s lucky, I love––”

“––Bucky please!” You cut him off, spinning around to face him again.

He was now standing. Only a mere few feet away from you.

“Take it back.” You whispered. “Please just take it back and I’ll forget you ever said anything and things won’t have to change.”

“They already have.” Bucky’s eyes began to water as he pushed a sad smile onto his face.

The smile made your chest ache.

“Buck...” You pressed your hand to your forehead as you closed your eyes. “Tell me you’re lying. Tell me this is all some kind of joke.”

“I have loved you from the start. I loved you before Steve did.” Bucky couldn’t lie about that.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You asked.

You watched a tear roll down Bucky’s face as he let eyes drop to the floor for a moment.

“Because it was too late. When I saw you and him at the party, I-I... It was too late for me.”

“You were my best friend, Buck.. You could have told me.”

“Would it have made a difference?”

You closed your mouth, your jaw clenching as you searched for the right answer.

But you couldn't find one.

Piercing; your eyes stared back at Bucky’s with more words than you could ever say.

And within the blink of an eye, Bucky stepped towards you; wrapping his hand behind your neck and pulled you towards him.

He kissed you.

And you kissed him back.

The kiss was rough, desperate, his lips fought against your own. His salty tears rolled down into the kiss, onto your tongues. His hands scrambled for your skin, he touched your neck, your cheeks, your hair...

But you only let the kiss last what felt like seconds before you pulled away.

“I can’t...” You gasped for air as you managed to tear yourself away from him.

Bucky tried to step towards you again but you took a step back this time.

“Bucky.” You whispered. “No.”

“(Y/n)...” Bucky’s eyes sought after yours.

You touched your lips with your fingers and let your eyelids close.

What had you done?

...

“I won’t tell Steve if that’s what you’re worried about.” Bucky’s voice broke through your thoughts. You had been stood in silence for longer than you realised.

“Bucky...” You went to speak but Bucky stopped you.

“Will you just do something for me?” Bucky asked, his hands now resting on his hips.

You nodded; not trusting your voice.

“Will you just... Next time you’re with Steve will you just look at him. Just really look at him and ask yourself is he who you really want?”

“Bucky that’s ridic––”

“––Will you just do that?” Bucky sounded desperate. Almost angry. “For me? Just do that for me? Please.”

You chose not to respond but he knew it wasn’t a no.

Bucky walked past you to disappear into the cockpit to give the both of you some time.

You sat back down in your seat and pulled your knees up to your chin. You buried your face into your knees as you tried to block out what had just happened.

Bucky, your best friend, your boyfriends best friend had just confessed his feelings for you and then kissed you. And you kissed him back.

You felt yourself start to cry but it wasn’t out of guilt but frustration.

...

After a while, Bucky returned from the cockpit. He figured he couldn’t hide in there for the entirety of the flight without annoying the pilot.

As he made his way back, he found you asleep in your seat with a frown painted across your features.

He sighed quietly.

He reached up and pulled a blanket out of the compartment above your head. He placed it over you gently before stroking his hand over your hair.

He knew what he had done was wrong. He loved you but he also loved Steve. You were Steve’s and he had stolen a kiss that didn’t belong to him.

When you next opened your eyes, you had landed. You figured the fight with Bucky must've exhausted you enough to cause you to actually fall asleep.

Bucky was already at the door waiting for it to open.

You stood and stretched but you didn’t meet his eye.

“Welcome back.” Steve’s voice greeted the both you as you finally exited the plane.

Steve hugged Bucky warmly before he turned to you.

“Hey handsome.” You smiled brightly as you wrapped your arms around him.

“Hello gorgeous.” Steve greeted you back with his own tight embrace.

As your chin rested on Steve’s shoulder, you watched Bucky look back at you. He pressed his lips into a thin tight line as he slowly backed away to head inside the compound.

“You alright?” Steve asked as he pulled away.

“Yeah.” You forced a smile. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

AN: This was something a bit different but I hoped you liked it all the same.

Bucky Barnes Tag List

@florencxs @mystictimetravelcolor @yourphotographyteen16@shannon-posts @darkbluenovember @sexwithhiddlesbatch @thefandomimagines @mydarkness-itsnotmyfriend @sad-huffle-nerd @glitchingghosts @themaddies-obx @avenging-parker @delilahsdaydream @thanossexual @bibliophilewednesday @soccer-100000 @smolanxiousdeku

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #the winter soldier #falcon and the winter soldier #Steve rogers #Steve Rogers x reader #the avengers #imagines #Sebastian stan #sebastian stan imagines #Sebastian Stan x reader #one shot

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itsonlystrange · 4 years ago

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Okay I’m just saying..do you guys realize what a cultural reset canon byler would be?

Like it would trend on Twitter, 100%. People who have never seen the show before would become interested in it, ESPECIALLY people who are looking for queer representation in shows.

Byler is a good slow burn that’s INTERESTING. It’s not your stereotypical gay guys who obviously like eachother and are only there for comic relief and pushed to the back so that the het ships can get the spotlight. It has DEVELOPMENT. And it’s rare you come across stuff like that.

Neither mike nor will are stereotypically “gay”. They are just regular teenage boys who happen to not be straight. Usually gay ships portrayed in TV and Film are used as comedic relief. Or the overly flamboyant gay guy and the super macho gay guy getting together in the last 10 seconds the show.

Yes, there are a TON of good shows out there that have queer representation however a LOT of them get thrown under the radar or are overshadowed by the more heterosexual ships or shows.

So imagine, a show as big as stranger things, having its two boys be in a canon relationship. Like the internet would BLOW UP. It’d be the topic of every interview. Finn and Noah would be the topic of every interview. Stranger Things would have relevancy again.

Obviously, ST is still relevant however with this whole hiatus it’s falling off the radar easily and people are becoming bored. But this...this would blow it up again.

Obviously queer ships are NOT there to make a show relevant again, at all. That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is, imagine all the lgbtq+ kids that watch ST. The lgbtq+ BOYS that watch ST.

Often, when queer relationships are portrayed in film or television, it isn’t portrayed accurately. And it’s often shown as “if you don’t come out this way then you’re invalid.” Or “if you have internalized homophobia you’re invalid” and a thousand other things. Hell, I remember being much younger absolutely hating myself or not “picking a side” and being so confused with my self and wondering why I was even bisexual in the first place.

But then you have byler, which portrays a much more accurate relationship between two closer than normal boys. It portrays the internalized homophobia, the abuse and bullying people back in the 80’s (and still now) would endure. And yeah, it’s not the most accurate depiction but it’s FAR better than some other popular show’s queer relationships.

Millions of people watch this show, an abundance of them being lgbtq+. And imagine them having a ship to look up to. A ship that doesn’t portray gay relationships as a “joke”. And even better, Mike and Will are teenagers!!

Often, in film and television, queer ships are usually based around two adults. In fact, a lot of times they portray young teenagers being in a gay relationship as “gross.” They say that it’s too “mature”. That having a partner that’s the same gender as you is wrong, and that you need to be a little bit “older” because apparently being in a queer relationship is only for adults because queer relationships are just too “inappropriate.”

But then you have Mike and Will who are two 14 year old boys. Who aren’t stereotypically “gay” as the movies portray. They’re just normal teenage boys. And that’s how it SHOULD be portrayed. We need to stop portraying Lgbtq+ ships as “inappropriate” or “weird”. They’re just two teenage boys in love.

Remember when everyone found out Robin was lesbian after being straight baited? Yeah. The internet blew up. So take that and times it by ten thousand. That would be canon byler.

It’d be a huge step for the media. Unfortunately, we haven’t come that far with queer ships. It’s gotten better but there’s still a lot of steps to take. But having a huge show like stranger things have their two man boys be in a canon relationship and have it portrayed regularly, guys!! That would be huge!!

Imagine all the little kids getting to grow up with that. Or all the teenagers that are Mike and Will’s age struggling with their sexuality seeing these two boys who aren’t stereotypically anything be canonically in love. Like, that would be huge.

I know that if I grew up with a canon byler I would definitely have felt a lot more sure of my sexuality earlier on. So many kids would have a wonderful ship to look up to that isn’t fetishized or treated like it’s “weird.”

And the fact that it’d be the topic of every interview. Noah and Finn wouldn’t see the end of it. People would talk about it non stop. It’d be advertised on social media accounts, the duffers would talk about it, the stranger writers would talk about it. I mean, it’d be big!!

And yeah, it’s sad that a gay ship becoming canon would be revolutionary, but that’s just how the world is. We still haven’t progressed past that yet. And it’ll take awhile before having a gay shop isn’t a big thing.

I often see people say “if byler became canon then everybody would stop watching” which just ISN’T true.

They’d gain so many viewers. It’d be more popular than Mileven ever had been. Yes, Mileven has their cute moments, however at the end of the day, Milevens dynamic has been done before. Thats not to say bylers hasn’t, obviously a canon byler wouldn’t be the first. But it’d be the first big canon queer ship in awhile. Straight ships with mileven’s dynamic happen all the time.

And at the end of the day, ST isn’t a romance show. If Mileven didn’t end up being end game I don’t think many people would care. It wouldn’t be as big as people say it is. I feel like the fandom likes to think that Mileven rakes in all the money but that simply isn’t true. It’s a science fiction show at its core and the core viewers don’t watch for romance. If Mileven is what raked in all their viewers then season 2 wouldn’t have been as successful as it was, considering mike and el don’t even interact until the last episode of season 2. So I really think the fandom is just overreacting on that part. Yeah, people are gonna leave the fandom. Just how people left when stancy wasn’t endgame or when their favorite chatacter died or when something happened that they didn’t like. That’s just how life works. They’re gonna lose viewers regardless of what happens because not everyone will be happy with how season four plays out. But at the end of the day, it’s hot like ST is going to lose 25 million viewers because two 14 year olds weren’t endgame. It’s often easy to forget that the fandom doesn’t reflect ST’s viewership. The fandom takes up only a small percentage OF their viewership. So yeah, some fan accounts may deactivate, just like how a lot of bylers left the fandom after season 3. But it’s not like nobody’s going to watch the show, that’s absurd. Mileven isn’t their main cash cow. It isn’t even on the leader board of st’s main cash cows. If anything, Steve dying would make st lose more viewers than Mileven not being end game. And it’s been made more clear recently that a lot of people prefer Jopper over Mileven, especially with the ending of season 3. We gotta remember that, the FANDOM is mainly teenagers however stranger things main demographic and viewership is ADULTS. And I don’t see many 21+ year olds not watching the show because a ship almost 10 years younger than them wasnt end game. Most of st’s viewers don’t care about the romance

TLDR: canon byler would be huge for stranger things and would probably blow up the internet. It’d also be good commercially and financially for stranger things. Also having byler he canon would be so helpful to all the kids and teens and even adults out their struggling with their sexuality and would make so many lgbtq+ kids, teens, and adults feel seen and feel loved and feel validated. Over all, canon byler would do more GOOD then bad.

#byler #gay mike wheeler #gay will byers #stranger things #stranger things 4 #will byers #mike wheeler

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falcor-thee-luck-dragon · 4 years ago

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Love Cuts Deep

Chapter 3 - F#$k the Police

Bucky Barnes x (f)reader Series Rewrite (Civil War, Infinity War/Endgame, TFATWS)

Summary: What’s happening in Romania? For awhile you’ve had the best time with Bucky all to yourself, but now, it appears the world is not done with you two just yet.

Warning: tinge of fluff, violence, fighting, reader being a bad bitch, Bucky going through it, Steve metaphorically herding cats (Bucky, reader, T’Challa), some google translate (I hope its right)

Masterlist

Leaning against a telephone poll, you adjust your darkly tinted sunglasses before stuffing your hands back into your jacket pockets. Hood up and stance as casual as ever while you patiently await your dark haired lover, who at this moment happens to be purchasing some plump and juicy looking plums.

Doing his best to appear relatively unrecognizable, Bucky walks over to you in his usual faded ball-cap, layered jacket, and black gloves while you give him a nod of acknowledgment as he quickly approaches. Soon he’s by your side and the two you begin walking towards the street where you’ll be crossing.

“Y/N, you think these ones will taste good?” Wonders Bucky as he shifts his gaze to you for a wise answer, like you magically are able to tell if these random plums are sour or not.

You shrug, “Probably.”

He stares uncertainly down at the plums, “They were kind of sour last time.”

Throwing him a humored glance, you keep walking, “Did you tell her that? Maybe she would have given these ones to you for free.”

“Well.....no.”

Retrieving your dark tinted sunglasses from the bridge of your nose before shoving them in a pocket, you throw a glance back over at the plum cart, nudging Bucky, “I’ll steal some again and then we’ll compare what days they taste good and what days they taste bad. Maybe that will help out your plum dilemma.”

“You’ve stolen plums before?” Whispers Bucky in bewilderment like you just stabbed a guy in broad daylight, “Y/N.” He whines, “We can’t be stealing things! We’re trying to keep a low profile, remember?”

Rolling your amused eyes at his fearful concern over something so tiny, you playfully tug against his grey jacket, “Stealing some plums is the least unlawful thing I have ever done moya lyubov' now come on.” You muse with a reassuring grin.

Wanting to protest, he chooses against it when he hears you call him my love in Russian; that’s new, he think warmly, you’ve never said anything that deeply intimate before. He could certainly get used to it.

Coming to a halt, the two of you patiently wait for the roadway to clear up, but while you’re standing there in the open, you skillfully take notice of some man in his mid thirties with a half eaten lollipop positioned in his right hand. He leans against the counter from behind a newspaper stand, where two curious greyish blue eyes give yourself and then Bucky a wary look as he begins to squint suspiciously. Soon his gaze trails over you both again like he’s trying to solve a 1000 piece puzzle, but can’t quite tell just yet which piece goes next. How odd, you think.

“Nothing is ever odd, there is reason for everyone’s intricate behavior, always be on guard.” Speaks a whisper from your past days training with Hydra.

Glancing over to Bucky, you notice as he starts to appear rather uncomfortable since he’s realized the stranger is staring. What a nosy little weasel, why would he give a shit about us? Tugging on his sleeve, you begin taking the lead across the four-way, the weaselly looking mans eyes go wide in genuine fear as he turns and books it out of the booth like a bat out of hell. Racing past annoyed civilians as they go about their normal business.

Brows furrowed in confusion you hastily reach the newspaper stand and flip a paper around only to be greeted with greatly troubling words printed aggressively in big black letters reading...

-WINTER SOLDIER CÂUTAT PENTRU BOMBARDMENTUL DIN VIENNA-

...with a blurred security footage picture of Bucky’s shadowed face walking suspiciously by a white van in presumably a parking garage.

On further inspection lower down the page, you take notice of the alarming words below, translating to...

-On international watchlist; Possible accomplice suggested at place of crime, Y/N Valerious is being investigated into for feasible involvement with one credited for bombing. Investigators advise great caution if seen and require a report immediately upon recognition.-

Paired with a blurred fuzzy head shot taken from CCT footage in 1997 after you sliced your way through a notorious drug cartel in Colombia.

Shit. And how the fuck did they find that picture?

Bucky quickly rips it out of your hands and stares frustratingly at the parchment, eyes focused on the concerning news as he flickers his attention back down at you, “Y/N?” He mutters uncertainly, face appearing increasingly distraught as he looks to you for an answer.

Glancing warily around the crowded area, you swallow nervously before finding his uneasy gaze once again, “I really need to stop speaking ahead of myself....fuck.....we need to leave.” You urge, tugging on his arm to move, you let go as the two of you head back to your shared apartment.

Eyes glancing warily around you the whole way there.

——

Walking quickly up the steps, you suddenly catch the scent of an unknown man leading right into the cracked door of your apartment, Bucky halts as you remain still as stone, nose crinkling as you test the air.

“Y/N?” He whispers unsurely as you shush him.

Sensing this stranger isn’t here to fight due to the lack of aggressor pheromones extruding from out of his system, you both cautiously walk into the room, on guard as you move more silently then an owl in flight, he doesn’t hear a thing. Quickly you visually analyze a tall man in dark blue with a helmet tightly fitted against his head, standing relatively still with his back turned to you two. A familiar shield held strongly from his left forearm as his head looks down at the journal positioned in his right hand.

Bucky’s journal.

Standing defensively side by side with Bucky, the uniformed man suddenly turns around; his eyes are a dark ocean, yet soft and set; a faded white A sits just above his eyes and a dull white star appears in the center chest area of his stealth suit. This is without a failing doubt Captain America, but what does he want with you two?

Breathing steadily he gives the two of you a once over before focusing on Bucky, “Do you know me?” He asks, voice calm and collected. Not an ounce of aggression.

Your eyes flicker cautiously from Bucky then back to the stranger as he takes a slow breath, “You’re Steve. I read about you in a museum.”

[They’ve set the perimeter] -speaks a disembodied voice from Steve’s earpiece, only yourself and Steve are able to pick it up.

What the fuck does that mean?

The American sets Bucky’s journal onto the kitchen table as he shifts in place, your fists instinctively clench in preparation for a possible clash as Steve’s perceptive gaze shifts warily from your hands up to your watchful glare; he must know about you, “I’m not here to fight.” Confirms Steve with a small nod before turning to Bucky, “I know you’re nervous, and you have plenty of reason to be. But you’re lying.”

“I wasn’t in Vienna, we both weren’t. I don’t do that anymore.” Mumbles Bucky truthfully, you’ve been with him for months now and neither of you have even left the city so how the hell did his blurry photo get printed onto the daily newspaper?

[They’re entering the building.] -speaks the voice.

Steve takes an urgent yet cautious step forward, clearly something terrible is about to go down for the three of you, if the guy on the ear piece wasn’t telling enough, “Well, the people who think you did are coming here now. For both of you. And they’re not planning on taking you alive.” Warns Steve sincerely, voice steady and true.

Bucky’s lips nervously purse together as he mutters unenthusiastically, “That’s smart. Good strategy.”

[They’re on the roof. I’m compromised.]- says the voice, more urgently this time.

Suddenly your ears pick up the sounds of heavy boots as they pound against the large spiraled staircase, squeezing your eyes shut in irritated anticipation, you open them to face the soldier, “Well this is fucking fantastic.” You seethe through clenched teeth, accent dripping strong as you shake your head in frustration.

Steve gives the two of you a pleading look, “This doesn’t have to end in a fight.” He urges as you both stand like a nervous predator, unsure if their prey is going to put up a deadly brawl to the death or not.

Giving him a hooded grimace, your eyes shift from the front door then back to him as you begrudgingly mutter, “It always ends in a fight.”

Looking away, he nods towards Bucky, “You pulled me from the river.” Starts Steve as Bucky hastily removes the black glove covering his metal arm, “Why?”

Bucky huffs, reluctant eyes dancing over to Steve’s, “I don’t know.”

[Three seconds!]- says the voice.

“Yes, you do.”

[Breach! Breach! Breach!]

Yells the voice frantically just as the left window shatters as some can sized metal bomb crashes onto the floor, the three of you immediately turn towards the harmful object right as Bucky kicks it, Steve coming to the rescue as he covers the bomb with his shield. Boom! It goes off, leaving everyone to live another day, or at least for the next minute.

A second later you hear insistent shouting in German just as Bucky grabs the mattress, he shields himself with it as his other hand pulls you to his chest protectively just as a destructively lesser bomb ignites against it from the now broken window.

Pulling out of his grasp, Bucky tosses it aside before kicking the small kitchen table where it lodges itself tightly against the front door. Turning towards the two windows positioned on your right, you’re immediately greeted with the breaking of glass as two heavily equipped combat police burst rudely into the room, heavily armored in tactical gear and ready to kill.

Well, shit.

At an inhuman speed you swiftly grab the first mans gun and point the steel barrel upwards just as he shoots, avoiding killing Bucky if you were a second late; your eyes turn angry as you swing your fist, knocking him unconscious from your blow to his helmet.

The second man shoots a line of bullets that scream angrily into the ceiling when Steve thrusts his gun away from you two, knocking him out in the process. Immediately another soldier breaks into the room from the bathroom door by Steve, gun at the ready as Steve shoves his weapon to the side where Bucky then harshly kicks him in the chest. Sending the intruding soldier into the bathroom, presumably with a hefty concussion.

But before Bucky is able to continue onward, Steve quickly grabs his arm, “Buck, stop!” Instantly he twists out of Steve’s grasp, giving his old friend a deadly glare, “You’re gonna kill someone. Both of you!” He snaps, stormy eyes shifting from you to Bucky just as your Winter Soldier shoves him to the ground by his collar before lunching his metal arm violently into the floorboards right next to his head.

Glaring at Steve, he growls, “I’m not gonna kill anyone.” Before pulling his arm out of the broken wood, travel backpack in hand; he stands and immediately throws it out the broken window about ten stories onto another rooftop below.

Standing in the middle of the ruined apartment as you face them, another soldier crashes through the broken window to your left, Bucky and Steve brace for the worst as the man pauses for a moment, gun facing the floor. Moving swiftly, you quickly unsheathe your razor sharp Adamantium claws out of your right fist before cleanly slicing his weapon into three consecutive pieces.

Shouldn’t have hesitated fucker.

The broken gun clashes to the floor as the soldiers eyes flash with fear before you roughly push him against the wall, grimacing in anger, right hook cocked back as you suddenly thrust a clawed fist directly into his shoulder. He lets out a pained gravelly scream as you pull away to face Bucky and a wide eyed Steve, the injured soldier sliding down the wall to the floor as he applies pressure on his newly bleeding wound.

A second later two more men come racing into the room as your victim slumps to the side once you kick him in the head, unconscious but still breathing as small drops of blood seep out of his affected shoulder. He’s someone else’s problem now.

Steve raises his shield as bullets deflect off the metal, soon Bucky throws his metal arm up; deflecting multiple bullets as Steve takes out a guy on the balcony. Bucky in the meantime has managed to knock the gunman out with a cement brick as you retract your claws back into your fist.

Boom! Boom! Boom!

Pounds loudly against the locked front door as bullets crash into the hinges, soon Bucky races for the thin wood and thrusts his metal fist into the door without a second thought. Seconds later he breaks down the door, knocking out two guys in the process as you slip past him and into the long staircase hallway that only goes in two consecutive directions, up or down.

Shit, more are coming up the stairs!

A soldier promptly breaks through the overhead glass window from the roof and ascends on a thick black rope, shooting at Bucky who easily deflects his bullets before you kick the man into the wall, knocking him out instantly. Body limp and peaceful as he hangs suspended mid-air in the center of the rounded stairwell, you quickly look down to witness the tiny army of combat police hellbent on ruining your perfectly fine day.

Well, not much of a fine day anymore.

Without time to process much, you watch as more soldiers charge up the stairs, guns ready to fire; suddenly Bucky jumps on the knocked out man hanging from the ceiling and falls to the next landing below as he uses the unconscious soldier for a sort of pully system, knocking out more police as they try and fight him off once he lands.

Blinking, you jump down without assistance but your own fearsome willpower before shoving a guy down the stairs, who conveniently trips up others in the process. But at least eight more are racing to finish their job, right on cue another soldier meets on your landing as Bucky fights off one from behind you.

Before he’s even able to pull the trigger, you’ve sliced his weapon in half, kicking him harshly into the wall, doing the same to his friend as you fight your way along the staircase, skillfully avoiding bullets and fists alike.

Turning around to the sounds of Bucky grunting, your eyes trail up and watch as he throws a man over the edge of the railing. But before anything bloody happens, Steve swiftly catches his dark collar much to your disappointment. He then heroically throws the man elsewhere as the fighting starts up again.

Soon Bucky nearly gets his lights knocked out as an armored gloved mitt comes flying for the back of his head; your fist however, breaks the guys jaw with a loud crack as you save your lover from an unfortunate injury. Bucky then gives you a quick nod of silent appreciation before you look up the staircase to see a disappointed Steve. oh, fuck off.

Huffing in irritation, you nudge Bucky to make a swift exit out of here; heeding to your urgent request he knocks another guy out before jumping down a multitude flight of stairs, grabbing onto the closest railing and tearing it back with a pained cry as he uses it to maneuver himself onto the landing.

Alright, time to go.

Breaking a soldiers arm, you proceed to do the same; arriving roughly on the cement landing as you skillfully tuck and roll before jumping up into a standing position and taking a moment to watch as Bucky races down the hallway before jumping off the corridor balcony.

Taking a deep breath in preparation for the jump to come, you book it down the same hallway and soon are free falling while quickly headed for the rooftop below. The damn roof ledge comes faster then you’d anticipated; landing hard against the protruding edge, you grunt in pain before rolling across the roof a couple feet while Bucky picks up his backpack mid run.

With no time to dwell on the burning ache in your shoulder, you push yourself from the ground as you race to catch up with Bucky who’s a good ten feet from you by now. He listens as you grumble a string of incomprehensible swears in displeasured Russian, but keeps running forward as he knows you’ll be right behind him in an instant.

Boots smacking hard against the rooftop cement, you’re almost caught up with Bucky when without so much as a warning does a dark silent shadow appear in your line of sight from directly above you, a second later you’re forcibly thrown into one of the metal conditioning system units, eyes wide and head in a daze. Only to be greeted with a man dressed in a black catlike stealth suit of some strange armor, where he soon begins hand to hand combat with Bucky.

Fuck that hurt. Asshole, you growl miserably.

Bucky dodges and throws skilled yet desperate punches at the mystery individual, although neither of them appear to take any real damage, fortunately for Bucky’s dwindling safety, but not for this other guy. Shaking the fuzziness out of your head, and ignoring the small trickle of blood leaving a red stain from the side of your temple, you hastily jump to your feet and charge the armored bastard as he throws Bucky into another conditioner unit.

Making a clean dent in the thin metal, Bucky’s eyes widen in genuine fear as the angry panther brings his shimmering silver clawed hand into the air, ready to strike. Cornered, Bucky braces for the worst with his metal arm blocking his face just as you seize the panthers forearm.

He abruptly turns his armored head towards you, and is thus kindly greeted with a swift punch to the face that sends him rolling across the rooftop a couple feet away from you and Bucky. Tumbling for a moment, he instantly regains his footing while silver colored claws slash thin sparking lines of gold across the cement as he stops dead in a predatory crouched position.

Well, now he really looks unhappy.

Bucky watches as the panther slowly rises to his feet, looking rather angered by your violent intrusion; breathing heavily, you stare down the fucker before a slow ‘shling’ sounds from out of your clenched fists. The panthers head tilts curiously, closely resembling that of an actual feline as he witnesses a total of six razor sharp claws protruding dangerously in the sunlight.

“Alright. Now we’re even.” You growl darkly as the panther charges for an attack, within seconds yours claws clash violently against his armor as he swipes for an opening to cause some real damage.

Bucky rises to his feet as he watches you and the panther fight like old enemies, sparks fly like confetti as your claws slash against his strange suit while the two of you dance in a rhythmic warriors tango, strangely on the rooftop of some Romanian hotel while Steve remains elsewhere for the time being.

Anticipating another blow from you, the panther blocks it and finally gets a clean shot of your face, soon you’re on the ground in a blurry daze before shaking your head while you rise to your hands and knees. Okay fuck this guy.

Drops of ruby red blood patter onto the cement as your face turns into a pissed off scowl, both the panther and Bucky watch in anticipation as you dramatically turn around to face them. Three clean slashes mark deep from your right hairline, across your cheek, where finally it relents at the base of your jaw.

You sneer in vexation as your skin fuses ripped muscle and blood vessels back together in a matter of seconds, then without warning does a helicopter appear from above where it rudely begins raining bullets onto the three of you.

Fuck this.

Luckily the artillery is deflected away from Bucky as it hits the panther first, unluckily for you, a couple strays vigorously drag themselves in and out of your shoulder and torso. A sharp white hot paint rips through your vessel causing your legs to buckle, falling to the ground, you instantly scream out in agony when the unpleasant sensation fully registers in your brain, as Bucky’s face turns to worry then anger.

Soon the bullets stop as the helicopter gets pushed off course by some man in a bird suit. Well today really couldn’t be any weirder, what’s next Ironman? You sarcastically think before reluctantly forcing yourself onto your feet only to be welcomed by the worried face of Bucky as he grabs your bleary attention, “Let’s go, we could make it to the underpass.” Affirms Bucky as your strength comes to you once again, muscles fusing back together, the pain fading swiftly.

“Yeah, fuck this.” You retort as he turns and swiftly jumps off the roof and onto another ledge below a you do the same, claws slashing down the buildings side as you do so. But all too soon are you greeted by the metal on metal screeching of the panthers claws as he slides down the side of the same apartment building, closer then you’d like. “Fuck.” You mutter, deeply irritated by this dickhead who won’t give either of you a break.

Not wanting to face the wrath of his shiny sharp claws, you quickly retract yours before you and Bucky instantly turn and jump the rest of the way down, landing skillfully onto the grey sidewalk below before booking it out of there as the panther aggressively chases onward. Steve not far behind, though you don’t care nor have the time to look.

Racing across the city road, bullets fly by the two of you as the opening to the cities subterranean underpass greets you with open arms. Shuffling past some small bushes, Bucky jumps down first, you right behind him as your world turns into a hasty blur. Soon everything comes to an abrupt halt once your boots smack hard against the surface of the roads blacktop.

The sounds of angry car horns blare loudly in your ears as a couple vehicles swerve to the side, just narrowly missing yourself and Bucky, “Come on!” You shout urgently before twisting around and booking it down the underpass with Bucky close behind.

Running at an inhuman speed, you pass cars and trucks alike as they swerve to avoid the two of you, about fifteen seconds later you’re greeted to the all to familiar whirring sounds noisily emitting from the local police cruisers as they hastily follow yourself, Bucky, Steve, and the panther across the highway tunnel.

“Ugh, move!” You snap in irritation before deciding to jump up and run across a green convertible, Bucky almost smiling as he races on the blacktop next to you, continuing onward as you land and race for safety or cover or anywhere away from this mess.

“Left!” Shouts Bucky as you both reach the area where the two huge lanes split from right to left, noticing the sirens coming down from the right lane, you don’t think twice as he practically pulls you in the opposite direction. Left lane it is.

This time traffic races towards you which makes maneuvering in this fucking tunnel even that much more difficult. Your boots clash against the hard ground as Bucky suddenly eyes up an approaching motorcycle, he is not.

As the motorbike comes into about five feet of him, Bucky grabs onto the handles, pushing the guy off while he does an impressive one-eighty before throwing a leg over to straddle the bike as he now points it in the direction of the traffic flow. Not wasting a precious second longer, do you swiftly jump on, throwing your arms around his strong waist for some bit of safety.

The bike instantly growls and groans in protest as Bucky focuses on getting the two of you the fuck out of there; cars fly by in a blur as the wind aggressively whips back your hair, only causing you to hold on tighter as Bucky races down the underpass’s road. Sirens and police speeding not far behind. The constant sound of their sirens just about driving you insane.

Without so much as a warning, your peaceful ride is rudely interrupted when the panther jumps off a car and makes a beeline for your body. Bucky’s flesh hand is around the panthers throat in a second as you lower yourself out of the way. In reply, the panther suddenly twists his body and runs a couple feet on the side of the tunnels wall and low cut ceiling before Bucky tries to throw him down by his throat.

Unfortunately this causes the motorcycle to shift left; dangerously close to the racing ground, he lets go of the panther and switches hands on the handles so he can avoid losing control completely. Metal fingers scrape across the cement creating glowing sparks of angry fiery flickers as the panther holds onto your jacket and the back of the motorcycle for dear life.

Not appreciating this in the slightest, you instinctively begin unsheathing your right claws that are positioned across your lap; you bend low, face pressed against Bucky before twisting the best you can and swiping the panther off of you and onto the harsh ground below. You don’t care to look back as Bucky pushes his metal hand off the ground, finally at last stabilizing the motorbike. Hitting the gas harder, it flies down the road as you swiftly retract your claws back into your knuckles.

“Y/N are you okay!” Shouts Bucky as you tighten your hold from behind, face pressed against his back as you listen to the sirens hastily approaching in the distance.

Gifting him a squeeze of reassurance, you give him a light kiss though he doesn’t feel it, “I could honestly be better!”

Bucky shows the ghost of a smile as he whirs the bike into submission, soon more wind swirls past your face as he pulls something out of his pocket and throw it against the roof of the tunnel where it sticks, blinking red.

Boom! Crash! Down goes a multitude of cement ceiling and destructively onto the freeway, effectively creating a blocker against the panther, Steve, and the Romanian police.

Smiling into his back, you mentally praise him for keeping some of the Hydra weaponry at hand. Until you’re roughly pulled from the bike by the fucking panther himself. Who even is this guy?

And how did he....

Yelping in surprise, you grasp onto Bucky’s backpack for all it’s worth, successfully managing to drag him down with you. The grey tiled street of the tunnel hits against your body harder then you’d like, but nonetheless you take the beating like a champ as you tumble harshly against the ground.

You and the ground are really getting to know each other today.

The panther doing the same from behind you while Bucky rolls awkwardly across the floor like an angry stiff log of dark flowing hair and concealed muscle. While trying to stop yourself from clashing around any further, you quickly regain your bearings in time to block Bucky from getting his throat cut out by the panther who’s on him in an instant.

With your claws bared and shimmering in the light of the protruding sun from the tunnels giant observatory opening, you’re quickly stopped by Steve as he races past you and tackles the panther to the ground by his waist.

Your little violet adventure coming to a messy end, when the panther stands defiantly a couple feet away from the three of you who by now have risen to your feet. Police lights flash from behind him as more surround the four of you instantaneously from on all sides, well shit, this doesn’t look good.

Your frantic eyes shift all around you as your world comes to a crashing halt, a helicopter flies over head, and in this moment you want nothing more then to slash your way out of this one. But you’re trapped.

You stand to Bucky’s immediate right as Steve stands to his left, hands out protectively as you glare at the officers in front of you, neither you nor Bucky speaking a word as you take in heavy breaths from your hefty sprinting session. Suddenly the notorious War Machine lands with a dramatically heavy thud onto the road in front of you, shoulder gun and hand blasters raised as he looks between the three of you.

Well at least it’s not actually Ironman. Right?

“Stand down, now.” Commands War Machine as you throw him a resistant look of pure daggers, hatred and fury flashing across your face as you clench your fists.

Obeying the authoritative command, Steve puts his shield away, latching it to his back as you begrudgingly retract your silver tinted claws back into your forearms with the usual shling sounding as you do so.

“Congratulations, Cap.” Verbally applauds War Machine, voice clearly sarcastic, “You’re a criminal.”

Moments later the Romanian police fully surround you all, guns at the ready; you’re harshly pushed to the ground by angry gloved hands that take captive of your arms and wrists as they pin your stomach to the earth.

“ot"yebis', tupyye pizdy!” You mumble angrily in Russian as the Romanian special task officers hold you like a wounded beast, your actual words translating to “fuck off, you stupid cunts” though they’re none the wiser to your heated threats.

Your chin scrapes against the cement tiles as your hands are pressed against your back, tied instantly as you strain your head to look up. The panther retracts his catlike claws before unclasping his helmet to reveal the troubled face of a dark skinned man; brows furrowing in confusion you suddenly realize who he is when War Machine says, “Your Highness.”

Grimacing in agitation, you can’t help but let out a string of curses aimed crudely at the Wakandian prince and many of the officers in question, half of your verbal abuse a mix of both English and your mother tongue. Soon an officer lightly kicks your side as you send him a deadly glare that causes him to take a cautious step back.

Though to relieve himself of his high authority once more, he gathers some of his men's attention by pointing down at you, “Muzzle this one.” He commands diligently as you squirm in protest, your face a mask of pure rage while Bucky keeps a steady frustrated gaze with the ground. His heart breaking for how they’re treating the two of you, but most importantly how they’re dealing with you.

If not for the current situation, you could have actually laughed; well now, aren’t you quite royally fucked.

Tagged: @minigranger @bibliophilewednesday @holyhumorliteraturelight @diegos-butt

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes reader insert #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x y/n #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier x you #tfatws x reader #marvel imagine #marvel x y/n #marvel x reader #marvel x you #fanfic #fanfiction #series rewrite

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hamliet · 4 years ago

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Chemical Weddings in RWBY

So once upon a time Hamliet said she’d write a meta about ships in RWBY, and then arrived months later without Starbucks.

The central tenet of alchemy is solve et coagula: dissolve, and then coagulate. The process (RWBY appears to be following Ripley’s 12 Gates) repeats, rinses, and repeats again and again throughout the steps, “each time at a more refined level.” The point of a chemical wedding is to reconcile opposites, which is something I touched on in my pseudo-quick meta here. Lyndy Abraham, the author of A Dictionary of Alchemical Imagery, describes the chemical wedding as:

a crucial operation in the creation of the philosopher’s stone. The alchemists were ultimately concerned with the union of substances, the reconciliation of opposites.

Basically, it unites opposites (fire and water, air and earth, sun and moon, passive and active, etc., etc., etc.) and then the opposites start to take on each other’s qualities, creating the “Rebis,” or a person both male and female.

The first chemical wedding is usually somewhat violent, primitive even, whereas the second one signifies the creation of the stone. However, characters can have more than two weddings, and chemical weddings do not inherently have to be romantic--Sam and Frodo aren’t, for example--but most often are, because it’s the most obvious way to show a union between separate people (the old adage “two become one” in marriage, for example).

If we look at George Ripley’s 12 Gates, chemical weddings tend to be focused on in the fourth stage of conjunction (which I wrote about here) and in the ninth, fermentation (which is probably going to be in volume 10--maybe a little in volume 9, but traveling between worlds seems to be a hallmark of sublimation in fiction so I’m guessing we’re stuck there for the time being). But in a lengthy series spanning eight years and counting, there is going to be overlap.

So let’s talk about chemical wedding imagery historically. It tends to involve dissolution (via water or fire--keep in mind metal was associated with fire in olden days, so stabbing with metal was considered liquid fire, or so it was believed to be by alchemists) and then coagulation (healing/coming together).

Four of the five ships--two of whom are definitely happening, one of which I think is happening and one of which I think has a good chance--reference historical alchemical artwork and symbolism in key moments. (RWBY does reference alchemical artwork; see here and here.) So let’s dive in and examine potential chemical wedding allusions in RWBY:

Lie Ren/Nora Valkyrie (Renora)

Let’s start with the most obvious couple: Ren and Nora. Their first chemical wedding occurs when they are children. In alchemical art, birds are often used to show the volatility/primitiveness of a first chemical wedding:

The raven is replicated in the Nevermore which forms a similarly threatening pose over Ren and Nora when he unlocks his semblance to protect her, thus honoring his father and mother’s legacies.

You can even see earth (trees), water (river), fire, and air (the bird flying) in the scene as it pans out. After this, Ren and Nora become “Ren and Nora,” as Nora herself says in Volume 8. They’re inseparable, because they’re on their way to becoming one. However, unification doesn’t mean that they’re literally the same person; in stories like these, it’s more like they become better versions of themselves through growing towards each other and adopting each other’s traits (like Nora’s courage for Ren, and Ren’s caution for Nora).

Their second, elevated chemical wedding is in the same place as their first, when in Volume 4 they return to the village and defeat the monster they were too young to defeat last time. This time, Nora is the one who protects Ren by telling him he could not sacrifice his life by pulling Ren back, in a reversal of his running to her in their first moment years ago.

Like the first, there’s water involved--Ren and Nora hide next to a river, watching as the Knuckelvee advances on them. I talked previously how I thought this looked like a possible allusion to this alchemical image (look at the moon symbol on the head of the aggressor):

The moon symbol actually shows up quite a bit in this scene, first when Nora and Ren discover the Nuckelvee is still alive in the cave:

And then in the moment when they defeat it:

While I am certain this is a chemical wedding, I’m not certain why the moon symbol is so prominent in this, though I do think it is possibly in reference to this image and how Nora and Ren are united now:

Yang Xiao Long/Blake Belladonna (Bumbleby)

Firstly, the alchemy image is somewhat of a creepy image, right? In this, Mercurius has united the two principles by beheading them (amputation is a Thing in alchemy), leaving them to putrefy and then coagulate.

Like the Nuckelvee for Nora and Ren, Blake and Yang have a somewhat antagonistic Mercurius who unites them: Adam Taurus. He doesn’t cut off their heads, but he does seriously injure Blake and cuts off Yang’s arm in a scene that is romantically charged (you have Blake’s possessive ex telling her he’ll target someone she loves and specifically chooses Yang).

While I have my issues with how Bumbleby is written, it’s hard to interpret that as anything other than him seeing Yang as a rival for Blake’s affection.

Their second chemical wedding also involves Adam. There’s no one direct image that seems to have inspired it, but it does take place in a place full of waterfalls (fountains and flowing water in general, like the ones in Nora and Ren’s village, are common elements of chemical weddings’ settings) and by the ocean (the “mercurial sea” is where the elements dissolve to make the Philosopher’s Stone, so it’s also a common hallmark for chemical weddings).

(To briefly address this: this is where my complaints about the writing pile in, because you can also make a damn strong case that Blake and Sun fighting on the ship to Menagerie is a chemical wedding, which it is, but I think it’s clear at this point that Bumbleby is endgame. Either both were written for a reason, like if they weren’t sure if they could do Bumbleby, or a narrative reason, in which case Black Sun should have been dealt with rather than hand-waved away, or they were just teasing, but baiting fans is never, ever good writing; it’s cheap. All that to say that while I think there’s a compelling case they were interested in pursuing Bumbleby from the start, Black Sun shippers have a right to feel tricked and not all criticism thereof is based in homophobia or a lack of narrative understanding, or even in a dislike of the ship.)

At the beginning of this scene, Adam makes it clear that this is a redo of their previous chemical wedding by reminding them of it:

Blake stabs Adam with a silver weapon; Yang with red. We have earth, air (clouds), water, and weapons as a stand-in for fire.

It’s still somewhat of a violent wedding, which makes me wonder if Bumbleby will have a third (and Renora as well). But it also parallels Renora in this: returning to a pivotal scene where they were traumatized, but this time being able to overcome it because they’ve become more like each other. Blake is in many ways Yang’s trauma stretching far beyond Beacon (Blake runs away, as does Raven, Yang’s mother who abandoned her), and likewise Yang for Blake (she’s hotheaded and holds grudges, like Adam). But Blake and Yang have been working on becoming better versions of themselves.

At the end of this scene, they even exchange quasi-wedding vows (since Blake’s promise is to not abandon Yang):

And the artists drive home the point by drawing Blake’s hair far bushier than normal (more like Yang’s), and Yang’s far tamer than normal (like Blake’s).

Jaune Arc/Weiss Schnee (White Knight)

Weiss and Jaune have had one chemical wedding thus far (possibly two but not sure) and I didn’t ship them at all until I saw this scene. Like Bumbleby and Renora, they have an antagonistic Mercurius: Cinder.

(This one I’ll be arguing a little bit about why I think it’s set up for romance as well.)

In this scene, Cinder directly compares Weiss to Pyrrha in regards to how Jaune feels about them (and we know Jaune and Pyrrha were romantic--you can also argue Cinder was an antagonistic Mercurius uniting Pyrrha and Jaune).

When Weiss screams, Cinder gets an idea and slides her gaze from Weiss to Jaune.

And then reenacts this:

As I also mentioned previously, Jaune then plays the role of the Prince to Weiss’s Snow White (which is an alchemical fairy tale). Like when Ren unlocks his aura to protect Nora, Jaune unlocks his to save Weiss. Weiss looks as if she is in a glass coffin that gets more and more golden, symbolic of refinement.

It’s also probably an allusion to this image of a chemical wedding presided over by Saturn (Mercury in this scene, since he’s there) and Death (Ruby and Qrow, who are also present in the scene with Jaune and Weiss). (For more on this image, see here.)

Weiss and Jaune also have some oppositional imagery and arcs: Weiss starts Beacon with a deep family legacy and an inherited semblance, she chooses to go to Beacon on her own and is the favored child (at first). Jaune too has a family legacy of warriors, but instead of feeling empowered because of this, he is insecure and literally cheats his way into the school. He doesn’t have a semblance until season 5. After this incident, Weiss and Jaune spend some time recreationally together (seeing a movie in vol 7); Jaune becomes more confident as a leader, and Weiss continues her arc in becoming more sympathetic to those from less privileged backgrounds.

Arguably, what happened at the end of volume 8 could be seen as having some symbolism of a chemical wedding for Weiss and Jaune too, but I don’t think it actually is one since they weren’t focused on as characters enough (if this was intended to be the start of one, we’ll get something next season, I’d imagine). The only reason I’m mentioning it is because it does function as an inverse of the previous one, which is the case for Renora and Bumbleby’s first and second weddings too. Cinder again almost kills Weiss (she falls in the exact same position as in vol 5), but Jaune saves Weiss when he screams after killing Penny. Instead of saving Weiss by healing, he kills. There’s also some distinctive red and white imagery.

And then Winter arrives with a six-pointed star and birds before telling them to run together:

But again, I wouldn’t really call this one; it just has some imagery of one and fits a pattern, so I’m including it as a potential lead-in to an actual one in the void or later.

Ruby Rose/Oscar Pine (Rosegarden)

Like with Weiss/Jaune, I’ll be arguing a little bit about why I think this one is likely to end up romantic, too (for example, Cinder most recently in volume 8 used Oscar to taunt Ruby in a callback to using Pyrrha and Weiss to taunt Jaune).

Also: oh look, finally a wedding that isn’t violent. They just... meet. Which is also normal for a chemical wedding but less dramatic.

Behold, the bird uniting the solar king and lunar queen:

(Fun fact: unless CRWBY came up with ship names which I highly, highly doubt, this is pure coincidence, but it’s a funny one: the art series this image is taken from is called Rosarium Philosophorum--which literally means “rose garden philosophy.”)

Let’s look at the scene where Ruby and Oscar meet for the first time. What makes this a chemical wedding is in part how obvious their markings are and the overall imagery is in the scene.

They are united by Qrow (who in addition to being named after a bird can literally transform into a bird):

Oscar asks about Ruby specifically (yes, I know because Qrow’s her uncle, but the writing is telling us to focus on his relationship with her):

And immediately notes/is in awe that she has silver eyes (i.e. the moon):

Qrow seems to realize he’s done something momentous in a way that almost doesn’t entirely work within the frame of the narrative (but he is drunk, so).

The scenery of this room is also telling. The table is literally an Emerald Table, the legendary foundation of alchemy itself.

Once they sit and talk, behind Oscar are the elements of earth and water, which he represents, and also the moon, which while traditionally associated with earth and water, he does not (at least not as strongly as he’s associated with the sun/gold):

Similarly, behind Ruby we have the elements of fire and air (like, if you zoom in, they actually drew air), which she is marked as, and the sun, which again, she’s not as strongly associated with as she is with the moon:

In Splendor Solis, which CRWBY has referenced before, the Solar King does eventually end up grounded in the moon, and likewise the Lunar Queen in the sun:

Oscar and Ruby also do have oppositional arcs and roles: Ruby starts the series in the very first episode by being invited to Beacon two years early because of her leaping into action to stop Torchwick. She’s scolded for her recklessness, but immediately picked out as special because of her silver eyes. In contrast, Oscar is reluctant to leave his farm once Ozpin inhabits him; he refuses at first, and then once he does leave, is nervous and timid.

Anyways I wouldn’t be surprised if Qrow arrives in Vacuo with RWBYJ in tow and this time reunites Ruby with Oscar in an inverse. We’ll see.

I do want to say that I also see potential for Emerald Sustrai/Mercury Black, in that they often act as one and share a theme song, but I haven’t seen any actual visual references to a chemical wedding for them... yet.

#rwby meta #rwby theory #rwby volume eight #rwby vol 8 #rwby volume 8 #rwby volume 9 #weiss schnee #jaune arc #ruby rose #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #lie ren #nora valkyrie #oscar pine #alchemy #rosegarden #bumbleby #renora #white knight

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