#if they want to pay for a train ticket fine but I am not taking a plane

[ocdhuacheng]

I love my parents like I get this is because they’re worried about me but they’re so annoying. They’re saying they’re not gonna let me drive from Long Island to Cincinnati EVEN THOUGH

1) who the fuck do they think they are to talk, my dad drove NON STOP from Wyoming to Pennsylvania when he was in college and they’re bitching about me driving less than half that distance? At least I know when to pull over and take a nap when I’m feeling tired Jesus fucking Christ.

And 2) they let my brother drive ALL THE WAY TO THE GRAND CANYON AND BACK. And I can’t even go to CINCINNATI??? Are you fucking kidding me?????

[yohankang]

i’m so tired and angry i can’t believe it’s just the beginning....

[cutecurly-hair]

Hearts Unleashed (Part 1)

Pairing: Nick Nelson x Black!fem!reader

Warning: Fluff, Smut in later chapters, Body Shaming

Words: 2234

Please interact and comment to keep it going. I always love to know what you think.

"What does this mean?" I stared at the piece of paper clutched tightly in my hand. My mom's eyes held an unmistakable unease as she replied, her voice tinged with worry, "This is our plane ticket to England."

Excitement bubbled up inside me as I glanced at the tickets. "We're going to England for a vacation! I had a feeling this year would be different. Do you think we can visit Paris while we're there? I heard it's just a quick train ride away."

My mom chuckled nervously, her laughter quivering. "That's the thing, honey, this isn't just a vacation; it's permanent."

My brows furrowed as I examined the ticket more closely, finally noticing the bold "ONE WAY" printed in the upper right corner. "What do you mean, one way?" Confusion washed over me, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"It means we'll be officially moving to England. I applied for a new job there, and I got it," my mom explained as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She saw the panic in my eyes and hurriedly added, "I understand it's sudden, but I think this will be a great change for us. I've even found a fantastic school with an amazing film program that I know you'll love."

My mind raced. "I don't even know what to say. Why are you telling me this now?" My whole life was here in America, and the idea of packing up and moving to another country was almost too much to bear.

"Honey, I know it's sudden, but they called me today, and they need me to start immediately. That's why we have to leave tomorrow."

"Tomorrow! I don't even have time to pack, let alone say goodbye to my friends. We can't just uproot ourselves from LA and head to England." I looked around our apartment, a cozy haven that had been my home for the past seven years. It felt like things were finally getting back to normal.

I glanced at the ticket again and saw the fine print: Departing from LAX tomorrow at 10:45 am. "I should really start wearing my glasses," I muttered under my breath.

My mom tried to reassure me, "Everything will work out fine. I've hired movers to come during the week and help ship the rest of our stuff. Tonight, all we need to do is pack our personal things and head to the airport first thing in the morning."

I felt like I wanted to argue, but then I saw how tired my mom looked. Her face seemed really worn out, and she had a tired look in her eyes. It made me realize that maybe I hadn't been paying enough attention to how she was feeling lately.

I decided not to bring up my concerns because I didn't want to make things worse. I didn't want to fight with my mom when she already seemed so tired and stressed. So, I chose to keep quiet and let it go for now, even though I still had my worries.

As we stepped off the plane in London, the dark grey skies clouded my vision, and the unfamiliar air filled my lungs. Instantly, I began to miss home. With half of my life packed away in two large suitcases and three duffel bags, this was definitely going to take some getting used to.

"Have your other bags arrived yet?" my mom asked, her eyes darting to the time on her wrist.

"Sorry for making you wait," I replied with a sigh. "When you're packing your whole life into a bag, it tends to take a while." I was far from being in a good mood after only managing to grab a couple of hours of sleep, spending one of them writing an overly dramatic paragraph to my friends about where I'd be for the next few years.

"There's no need to get sassy with me, Y/n," my mom chided. "I'm just worried about the time. I don't want to be late for the shuttle. If we miss this one, the next won't be for another three hours. And I'm sure you don't want to spend that much time at the airport."

Before I could respond, I spotted my color-coded bags moving slowly along the conveyor belt. I collected them and loaded them onto a trolley, then couldn't help but add a mockingly sweet tone, "Now, we can go."

My mom led the way to the shuttle, looking a bit lost in the bustling airport. She approached a stranger for directions, and I listened intently, realizing I needed to get used to the distinct accent. My mom thanked the stranger urgently, and we hurriedly made our way to catch the shuttle, leaving behind the life I'd known in America.

Arriving at our new home in England I couldn't help that there was a mix of excitement and trepidation. I had seen pictures of the place, but it was entirely different to stand in front of it, knowing that it was going to be our home for the foreseeable future. My mom, ever the optimist, had put in tremendous effort to ensure it was the best flat on the block.

As we approached the building, I noticed the quaint charm of the neighborhood. Rows of terraced houses with colorful front doors lined the cobblestone streets. It was a far cry from the sunny, palm tree-lined avenues of Los Angeles that I had called home.

My mom had informed me earlier that her new job had provided relocation money, and she had spent hours researching and visiting potential flats to find one that met all our needs. She was determined to make this transition as smooth as possible for me, especially since I wasn't exactly thrilled about changing schools.

The flat itself was a cozy two-bedroom apartment on the top floor of a charming Victorian building. It had large windows that let in plenty of natural light, and I could see the spires of an old church in the distance. The living room had plush sofas, and I could just imagine the walls being adorned with artwork from home. She had even managed to find a flat with a small balcony where we could enjoy tea on sunny afternoons.

As we stepped inside, I couldn't help but be impressed by how homely it felt, despite being in a foreign country. My room, though smaller than what I was used to, had a window overlooking the quiet street below. I packed some of my posters and photographs from our life in LA, making it feel like a small piece of home.

As I unpacked my belongings, I couldn't help but reflect on the whirlwind of changes that had brought us here. My parents' divorce had been a long and sometimes painful process, but with me finishing up middle school, it seemed like the right time for a fresh start.

In my mom's perspective, this move was a chance for something new and exciting, a way to turn the page on a difficult chapter in our lives. But for me, I felt like I was just along for the ride, caught up in the decisions made by the adults in my life. It wasn't easy to accept that we were starting over in a completely different country.

While I tried to look on the bright side, I couldn't shake the feeling that my mom should have told me about it much sooner. The truth was that I was still deeply hurt and confused.

But as I glanced out the window of our new flat and saw the quaint streets of our new neighborhood, I knew that, in time, I would find my place in this new chapter of our lives. Change might not come overnight, but I was determined to make the most of it and find the silver lining in our fresh start.

—-----

A whole week had passed, and I swear my boredom had reached Olympic levels. Our furniture from LA finally showed up a few days ago, and let me tell you, I became the world champion of room redecorating in record time. But apart from that impressive feat, my life had all the excitement of a cardboard box. School isn't kicking off until Monday, which gives me a gentle nudge that I should probably check out the film program my mom's been raving about. 

Feeling all organized and responsible, I sat down and sketched out the route from our place to the school. It's like a 20-minute walk, which I can totally handle once I get the hang of it. But if I'm feeling a bit lazy (which happens, like, all the time), there's a nifty 10-minute bus ride option. Plus, my mom's still knee-deep in paperwork to send our car overseas, so it's official I'm becoming a bus pro.

Then I checked out the school's website, and the film program doesn't look half bad. They've got this YouTube channel packed with short films that are more interesting than binge-watching cat videos. And here's the real kicker they've got a partnership with Netflix! I mean, seriously, how did they manage to pull that off? They're talking about workshops and internships, and I'm just here thinking,

"Who's the magician that got Netflix on board?" That seriously is impressive.

Looking out of the window, I couldn't believe my luck the sun was actually shining for once! After days of nothing but gray skies, it felt like a small miracle. I was starting to understand that sunny days were a rare commodity in this place. So, I thought, why not make the most of it while I could?

I swapped out my usual outfit for a pair of comfy shorts and a cool graphic tee. In a flash, I was out the door, ready to savor every bit of that precious sunshine.

As I continued my stroll through the neighborhood, I stumbled upon a charming park nestled amidst the houses. The sunlit meadow was dotted with people, and what caught my eye was the number of folks out and about with their dogs. It was becoming evident that this was definitely a big dog-loving community, and the park was their social hub.

I watched as playful pups frolicked, tails wagging with unbridled enthusiasm, and their owners chatted amicably, forming a tight-knit community within the community. It felt heartwarming to witness such camaraderie, and I couldn't help but smile at the sight.

I stumbled upon the perfect photo opportunity, one that would fit perfectly in my collection. I'd forgotten my camera at home, but my trusty phone would have to do. As I aimed to capture the moment, an unexpected collision sent my phone tumbling to the ground.

Before I could get a word out, the other person beat me to the punch. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going," he said, hastily bending down to retrieve both of our phones. It turned out he had dropped his phone as well.

I felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up. "No, no, it's alright. It was my fault for standing right in the middle of the walkway," I replied, cheeks tinged with a hint of red.

He handed back my phone with an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that. Hopefully, it didn't crack," he said, his own cheeks taking on a shade of pink.

I shook my head, trying to conceal my own embarrassment. "No big deal. You might have done me a favor, actually. It's about time I got a new phone, and this could be the perfect excuse," I quipped, waving my phone playfully. The boy chuckled warmly.

"Thanks for not making me feel awful about it," he admitted, appearing relieved. "I'm Charlie, by the way." He extended his hand, and I shook it with a friendly smile.

I responded, "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you, Charlie." The friendly atmosphere that had enveloped us earlier seemed to dissipate, leaving an awkward silence in its wake.

Charlie finally broke the silence, his voice tinged with shyness. "Sorry, but I can't help but notice the accent..."

I smiled, realizing his curiosity. "Oh yeah, I'm from America. We just moved here last week, right down the block," I stated, hoping to ease the awkwardness.

Charlie's eyes lit up with excitement. "Right down the block! I live right down that way." I couldn't help but feel my own excitement grow.

"I live where the new flats were built, I think they're called the Avalone Suites or something," I mentioned. Charlie's face instantly lit up with recognition.

"I live right across from you! Everyone around the block has been raving about the new building," he exclaimed,

As Charlie and I walked back to my apartment, he chatted animatedly about the neighborhood, sharing tidbits about the local shops, nearby parks, and the best places to grab a bite. It was clear he was friendly and genuinely excited to have a new neighbor.

During our conversation, we made another delightful discovery – we were both going to the same school. It was a pleasant surprise that eased my earlier concerns about not knowing anyone in this new place.

By the time we reached my apartment building, Charlie had almost talked my ear off, but I didn't mind one bit. With a warm smile, I turned to him and said, "Thanks for walking me back, Charlie. I guess I won't be starting school completely alone."

Charlie grinned in response; his eyes filled with genuine friendliness. "Anytime, Y/N. I'm looking forward to seeing you at school."

We added each other on each other's socials before we parted ways.

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/cutecurly-hair/727972531449020416/hearts-unleashed-part-2?source=share

[rttnmeat]

Cheap pay what you want doodles !!!

Uni has officially started and because of my current financial situation I have decided to open up doodle commissions !!

I can't get a part-time job because my schedule just won't allow it and my family is currently struggling financially, so right now the only things I can afford are food and basic necessities. However, I am studying at a fine arts university and the costs of studying at an art school is crazy high. The price of a monthly train ticket is too much, let alone also buying numerous art supplies and subscriptions for necessary programs

The donated money will mainly go towards art supplies and necessities I normally wouldn't be able to afford, and also occasional sweet treats for me to survive through the semester :3

I'll have the commissions open indefinitely, or until I can't find the time to continue doing them

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post and thank you even more if you decided to commission a doodle from me <3

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

GMMTV 2025: BL Trailers Only

Since I am still on the not watching gmmtv live train, I will divide them in 3 categories

👀👀👀 Might Catch Up And Watch Some It Live:

Melody of Secrets (Forcebook with a semi interesting script? Going to keep an eye out for this one)

My Magic Prophecy (it looks interesting)

Dare You To Death (I'm still JoongDunk trash, you guys have no idea how hard i'm resisting the urge to watch thk live for them)

Bournout Syndrome (I am very intrigued and very scared. Offgun is going to be hard to resist. I might have to take my chances and watch this live)

Maybe I will Binge It:

Wu The Series (Maybe I will binge it if it's not a bromance)

Ticket to Heave (Angst + GeminiFourth still in High School I will wait to see how this ends)

Memoir of Rati (Angest + Period Drama - want to know how it ends)

A Dog and A Plane (it looks fine I guess, it's TayNew and they are actually gay this time, maybe i'll binge it)

My Romance Scammer (looks nice enough we'll see)

That Summer (looks nice enough we'll see)

Head to Head (looks nice enough we'll see)

YOU COULDN'T PAY ME MONEY TO WATCH THIS LIVE:

Only Friends Dream On (I Am still mad at only friends why would I watch the spin off, or the girl version. Some of the tumblr people are the only ones that had issues with the og ending. There is no way they learned from their mistakes in the other season. And I don't know how so many people are exicted)

Me and Thee (no shade or hate, but no)

Boys In Love (no shade or hate, but no)

Cat for Cash (no shade or hate, but no)

Love You Teacher (NO! Just No, no kink shaming but NO)

[luckyricochet]

Chapter 1

Read on AO3

Eilidh arrives in England and immediately regrets it.

Eilidh Hamilton’s Diary

I’m currently on the train with Granny to London. For how long? God only knows. I don’t have tickets back, and I don’t know if Mum and Dad have plans for me.

It feels odd to be going to the city after spending so much time thinking I wouldn’t set foot in there for so long, maybe even until after the war was over. I’m sure Will is having a good laugh about it, at least. Mum and Dad think we should all be together right now. All right, I understand that, even if it’s mad. It makes perfect sense in a twisted sort of way, so I haven’t been fighting them on it the way I fought Will, ironically enough. But I guess it’s because I don’t really care what happens now. If the Germans want to kill me, they can have at it. I really can’t sta

“Tickets, miss?”

The train conductor looked down at Eilidh, his hand out expectedly. Eilidh set her pen down mid-sentence and obliged, handing the slips of paper to him. He returned them to her with a hole punched in each. “You know this train’s terminus is Waverley. You’ll need to board another to get to London.”

Eilidh replaced the tickets into her wallet. “Yes sir, I know. I’ve taken this route many times before.”

He nodded curtly at her and continued on his way. Eilidh hadn’t been lying. The train line from St Andrews to London was a well-trodden one that she had regularly ridden in years past. School in London, giving way to summers in Fife, and then back to England when the term began again, until secondary school was over. Then the opposite as she was going through sixth form and when she started at St Andrews—classes and tutorials in the north until summer holidays in the city. There wasn’t a better arrangement Eilidh could have thought of, enjoying both of her homes to full capacity for as long as she did.

Then again, a lot of things had been better back then.

She picked her pen up again.

nd any of this any more. I feel horrible but I am horrible.

Granny, unlike Eilidh, was decidedly less familiar with this form of transit. Eilidh was pretty confident she could count on one hand the number of times her grandmother had ever left Scotland, had ever traveled further than Edinburgh. Eilidh had seen pictures of her grandmother in her youth and knew of some reputed travel journals that were collecting dust somewhere in their home on Largo Road—so the old woman beside her must have certainly gotten out of the house now. But whatever she could tell Eilidh about those adventures, beyond what page and picture could reveal, was soon to be nonexistent.

Not quite entirely. But close.

“How do you feel, Granny?” Eilidh asked. “Too hot? Too cold?

“I’m—fine,” Granny replied, only a little crotchety. In the last few years her voice had become more strained even when she spoke normally. “I just don’t see why we have to make this…fuss to begin with.”

Eilidh swallowed, taking the time to stay level-headed. “Will was killed a few days ago. We need to be with Mum and Dad.”

Her grandmother’s face fell like it was the first time she was hearing this news, even though Eilidh had reminded her of it at least three times. She felt sorry for her grandmother the way she felt sorry for herself in her worst most self-pitying moments. Having to hear her grandson was dead multiple every day was no better than Eilidh having to be the bearer of that bad news the same number of times.

“Dead?”

Eilidh winced at her grandmother’s bluntness but nodded. She put her arm around her and squeezed.

“Dead. Dead…Dead…”

Eilidh closed her eyes, trying not to pay attention to her grandmother. Whenever she repeated things, it was normally an annoyance that would pass, and it was how she seemed to process things so Eilidh endeavored to be patient when it happened. But it was harder when each repetition was a strike in Eilidh’s heart. She tried not to see or hear, so her mind betrayed her. Will flashed behind her lids, smiling with mischief like he was about to steal a biscuit from her plate or splash her with a handful of frigid beach water.

“Dead…dead...”

Eilidh forced her eyes open and she detached herself from her grandmother slightly. “Granny? Let’s talk about something for a while, okay?” Her request came out more abruptly than she intended and Eilidh took a deep breath to calm herself. The train chugged along in its rhythmical gait. She concentrated on the green countryside whipping past them as she said, “Or do you want a book? I brought one for each of us.”

“Nah.” Granny waved a hand as Eilidh brought her bag around. “I just want—to get off this damn train.”

“It’s not long to Edinburgh,” Eilidh assured her, not mentioning the second train that would take them to England and which would be an even longer trip. “We’ll be there soon. I’ll get us something to eat for lunch at the station.”

“I’m not hungry,” Granny said, sounding suddenly lucid. Eilidh glanced at her grandmother, who was already looking at her intently. For a moment Eilidh recognized the woman she had grown up with, who had given Eilidh her name and chestnut-colored hair. “Poor girl. Do—your parents know?”

“Know what, Granny.”

“About Will.”

Will. Again. Another stab in the heart.

But at least Granny had remembered this time. She put her arm around her again. “Yes, of course, Granny. They do.”

King’s Cross was a mess.

Eilidh couldn’t remember the last time she had seen it this crowded.  Stepping out onto the platform felt like sinking into a rushing river, where she was immediately taken by the current of swaggering soldiers traveling with their units, civilians toting children and heavy luggage, beleaguered train station staff attempting to impose some order, and puffed-up government workers determined to ignore them. Yet the sounds of everyone talking and walking and train whistles were so cacophonous, they created an odd screen of quiet. Eilidh couldn’t hear much of anything in that environment, though her own thoughts came through quite clearly.

Foremost among them was to get out. Places like these were too overstimulating and potentially dangerous if Eilidh lost track of Granny. People bumped against her on all sides as she tried to navigate against them, doing her best to hang onto Granny with just their linked arms, both of Eilidh’s hands occupied with their baggage. Granny walked slowly along in her usual shuffle, buffeted by the crowd until a man carelessly knocked her to the side and she stumbled against Eilidh. Dropping the suitcases onto her foot, Eilidh cursed, caught her grandmother, and shot a murderous glare at the offender.

“Oy, watch it, will you? Can’t you tell she’s old?”

The man rolled his eyes and stalked off. Still smarting both on behalf of her foot and her grandmother, Eilidh grabbed her luggage again and guided them further out of the mess, practically pulling Granny along. Finally they tumbled out onto the street outside the station. It was just as crowded here, but at least there was fresh air and and more space to spread out. Eilidh crossed the street to the next corner, where she hailed the attention of one of the black cabs that was lined up along the pavement.

Eilidh had seen pictures of bombed-out London, but it seemed apocalyptic in person. Stone rubble and dust covered the roads in a manner she couldn’t have imagined, piling almost as high as houses and trees. Entire streets were blocked off, forcing Eilidh’s taxi to take a circuitous route around the city that only gave her more views of the extent of the destruction. Men, women, and children wandered among the rubble alongside the police officers and military personnel, some of whom wore British uniforms and others seeming to be donning the clothing of other countries. Every so often, the car drove by the unsightly scene of a body being pulled from the depths of a ruined building or a bloody survivor being carried off in a stretcher, either one inevitably accompanied by a horrified scream. Eilidh couldn’t help but imaging Will’s face on one of the bodies. Her stomach turned and she looked away before she threw up.

“What is this place?” her grandmother said next to her.

“London, Granny.”

“Well—why are we here?”

Eilidh stared out the window. Two girls ran toward each other, hugging just as the car rushed passed them. She felt a tug on her sleeve.

“Why—”

“Will is dead, Granny.” They passed another corner. “His factory got it in the last air raid. Mum and Dad wanted us to be here when they sent him off.” Eilidh felt like a machine, regurgitating the same automated message over and over.

The taxi bumped along for a while longer to a red brick house that had a bit of ivy creeping up the wall. The street it sat on wasn’t exactly The Mall, but compared to the sights Eilidh had witnessed, the neighborhood seemed downright kingly. Debris was scattered along the road but everything here was still standing. Eilidh looked around the street as she waited for the driver to get their bags out of the boot. None of the neighbors were out, and hopefully they wouldn’t realize she was back for a little while yet. She wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone just yet.

She took Granny by the arm and quickly located her keys, letting them into the house after the taxi drove off. There was a chill in the foyer. Eilidh set their things down and looked around. “Mum? Dad?”

Silence answered her. It was early evening, Eilidh remembered. Her parents would probably still be occupied and not be back for a while yet.

Eilidh turned to find Granny. “Do you remember this place, Granny?” Even if had not been for her illness, Eilidh wouldn’t have been surprised if her grandmother had close to no recollection of their London home. Granny had stayed here only once, not long after Will had been born. That visit was just on the vestiges of Eilidh’s own memory; she had been only five years old then.

So they spent some time getting to know the place again. Eilidh played tour guide and showed her grandmother the rooms and pointed out funny little trinkets and features of the house. There wasn’t much special about it; it was just a normal house, really. That didn’t stop Eilidh from feeling like she was talking her grandmother’s ear off in an effort to make the tour last as long as possible.

There was only so much she could say, after all, though. They settled back in the kitchen and Eilidh made them a pot of tea with the same kind of tea bags they had in St Andrews. Something familiar to help them both settle into the change in environment.

The house wasn’t like it used to be. Eilidh couldn’t identify whether it was because she knew one of its residents was no longer alive, or because it had been so long since she had been there, or because there was a war on. But something about it, even though there was every sign of life in it, seemed…empty.

A clatter from down the hall at the door alerted Eilidh to her parents’ arrival. She leapt from her seat and dashed to the hall, where she saw them at the foot of the stairs. They caught sight of her, and they caught each other in the middle of the corridor in a bone-crushing hug. Eilidh didn’t resist. She hadn’t seen her parents in two years. Being in her family’s embrace after a separation, like when she had been at university, had always been a palliative to her. It had almost that same effect now, but it was tainted too, when she only could think of how there was someone missing.

When they separated, Granny had come level to them, observing the reunion. Eilidh’s father turned to her, a tired attempt to smile masking his weariness. “Mum—”

Granny looked him up and down slowly. Her brain was working, and she frowned at him, and then Eilidh’s mother. “James. Victoria.”

They nodded, clearly relieved, but they hugged her only lightly and for a few seconds, as if worried they would crush her with anything else. Eilidh let them greet each other, but her thoughts were about to burst forth from her.

“Where is he?” Eilidh asked, looking into her parents’ face.

“At the hospital.” Her mother’s cheeks were wet with tears. “There are a lot of people to…take care of, so…”

“He who?” Granny said sharply. The three others turned to her. Eilidh’s father eyed her carefully, curious, and then glanced at Eilidh.

“I…I told her,” Eilidh said quickly. “I’ve told you, Granny. “

“Told me what—?”

Something in Eilidh snapped at the sound of her grandmother’s questioning, the same questioning that had been answered so many times. Maybe it was her sorrow, the long journey, being in London again. It was that control that had been holding her back ever since she had gotten the news.

“Don’t say anything—Don’t say a word, I can’t stand this anymore!” Eilidh exclaimed, before either of her parents could respond. They stared at her, surprised in their grief at her sudden hostility, but it was too much. If Eilidh had to hear or say that dreadful thing one more time, she felt like she would explode—just like she was now.

Her brother was dead. Somewhere in the back of her head, Eilidh knew this. She accepted this. But to not even have the grace of time to dwell on it, to come to terms with it naturally—to have to repeat that fact over and over, in the simplest, crudest terms possible just to try and make sure that this time, finally this time, her grandmother would remember it—that was what it made it hurt all the worse. That pain was already palpable—so why, Eilidh thought to herself too late, did she have to go and rub salt in her own wound by being a brat and disappointing her parents? Their shock at her outburst made it intolerable to the extreme. Eilidh grabbed her bag and fled up the stairs. Her room, though untouched for these two years past, called to her. She kicked the door closed and collapsed onto the bed, and in the dark of the evening, she cried.

Eilidh Hamilton’s Diary

I’ve just woken up—it’s now a quarter to eleven. I’ve missed tea. After my performance earlier, I should probably be made to starve tonight.

I yelled at Granny earlier. Well, not exactly yelled at her but…I shouldn’t have done it. I didn’t mean it really. I was tired and angry, It was a really long day today and she asked so many questions. It’s not an excuse and just makes me seem like even more of a arse, doesn’t it? That’s the only thing that I think I’m certain about right now. Sometimes I think that I’m allowed to be one, that my anger and frustration and all of it is justified. I’ve just been stuck for so long. I want to do something for myself for once. Think about myself for once, my education, my future. It’s all up in the air. That’s serious enough for me to get upset about, isn’t it?

But I don’t know. It’s still really difficult to reckon with. I haven’t even had a conversation with Mum or Dad since I got back. They hugged me, I asked about Will, and then

The tip of Eilidh’s pen quivered, hovering over the paper unsteadily. She moved it to the next line, biting her lip.

I’m a horrible daughter. And it’s even worse because I’m their only child now.

A tear fell from Eilidh’s face onto the page, mixing with the still-fresh ink. Eilidh pushed her diary away, hiked her legs up onto the chair, and buried her face into her knees, feeling more miserable than she ever did when she witnessed the carnage in the city that afternoon. Will was gone. She was supposed to be more appreciative of the people around her now. Instead she had shouted at her parents, lashing out at her ailing grandmother in doing so, and had stormed off. Eilidh tightened into a smaller ball at the memory. The thought of it compelled her to stay here for as long as she could, to avoid having to show her face to her family again. Yet doing that just happened to be the course of action that was guaranteed to make her feel even more terrible.

The upstairs landing was empty and dark when Louise opened her bedroom door. She glanced across the hall, to Will’s closed door. There wasn’t any strip of light at the bottom, but Eilidh didn’t know what that might mean. It was the logical place for her grandmother to sleep. Eilidh shook her head and moved along.

She caught sight of herself in the mirror standing on the chest of drawers by the stairs. Even in the dim lighting, she could tell her face and eyes were swollen from crying. No doubt they were red too. The sight appalled her, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it.

A warm glow the color of fire from down the stairs caught her eye. Eilidh ran her hand over the bannister, one foot aloft over the first step. She couldn’t hear anything, but she was sure her parents were there. Now that her frustration was spent, her overwhelming emotion was shame. She didn’t want to face her family. Though, if she didn’t, she’d be even more embarrassed.

Her father was the first to smile at her when Eilidh made her reluctant appearance in the sitting room. It was a watery, half-hearted smile, the same one he had given Granny earlier, but a smile nevertheless. “Eilidh. There you are. We were hoping we might see you.”

She scanned the room. It was only her mother and father; Granny was nowhere to be seen. “Where’s Granny?”

“It’s almost eleven o’clock, Eilidh, where do you think she is?”

“…Asleep?” At her mother’s nod, Eilidh hesitated. “…Where?”

“Will’s room.”

Oh. Eilidh sat down on the easy chair by the hearth. “Does she know…?”

“Yes. For now,” her father added.

Well. “I’m sorry,” Eilidh said, making sure to address both her parents. “For what I said earlier. And I’ll apologize to Granny first thing tomorrow morning too.” It’s just been…hard to be with her. Given the circumstances.”

“We know,” her mother said. “It was unfair for us to ask you, but you did. You have been so selfless, and we know how difficult it was to make that decision.”

“No, of course it wasn’t unfair—” Eilidh said, even though she desperately did not want to be here if she was honest. “It’s better that we’re together now.” She rubbed her hands on her legs, feeling awkward and out of place. Whatever she had envisioned would happen when she arrived, it wasn’t this.

“You have been so brave, Eilidh,” her mother whispered. “We are so proud of you.” She reached out and put her hand on Eilidh’s leg. Its warmth was so comforting, Eilidh almost felt like sobbing again.

I haven’t been brave, she thought bitterly, remembering her resentments and self-centeredness. I’ve been horrid. She almost said the words involuntarily and bit hard on her tongue to keep herself from doing so, bringing the tears forth anyway.

Her father seemed to mistake them for something else, and his voice was gentle when he said, “It’s all right. You can cry. We all did.”

Eilidh wiped her eyes angrily. “No, it’s not—” She felt stupid. She didn’t want her family’s sympathy when she didn’t deserve it. But soon she realized it didn’t really matter what had caused her to start crying, whether it was her anger at herself, or her parents’ kindness, or her brother. She had a lot to cry about it, and it had to come out at one time or another. So it did.

[michirukaioureincarnate]

Dutch Lesbians???

are so FLIRTATIOUS

Thinking about the lesbians in Amsterdam. At that one old ass bar with the pool table. How I needed to go because it would be the only chance I'd get to be in a nearly 100% safe space as a lesbian myself before heading back to Middle East/South Asia.

How lively and chirpy it was even though I sat and drank alone in the basement by the pool table, watching the tattoeed stems and mascs play under my scrutinizing gaze. I've played pool before, a lot actually. I could play better than them, and they'd let my 4 ft 11 femme as hell ass play. They did let me play, a group of 3 mascs/stems that needed a 4th player for their 2 vs 2 cuz theirs has just left. 4 is my fave number btw.

"You've been observing us pretty intently," one of them says. "Here, take my turn."

"Oh no, I can barely see straight." (that was a lie, I just felt shy)

Her friend grins at me encouragingly. "You'll be fine. Go for it."

I score a solid.

"I'm so tipsy," I giggle unconciously. "How did I even manage that?"

The one who invited me to play leans in shyly, nearly whispering with a keen smirk. "Well, it was a beautiful shot."

I don't realize she was flirting. She asks if I want to continue playing, so I go for it. I got tipsier, let them help while fully aware of hands on my waist, my spine, moving me gently by the hips, breaths on the back of my neck, their chests on my back, whispers in my ear to "strategize", and gentle grasps on my elbow to guide my shot. Someone holds my hair back for a complicated angle. For every win, one pats my cheek, another kisses my ear, and I'm not sure which team I'm on anymore. I think I was almost kissed, but maybe I imagined it. Accidental brushed noses were just that and nothing more, breath on lips that were almost teasing.

What the hell, I think, and what the hell is right because how was that happening? Did I dream it up? Was I on a movie set? I jokingly wrote about wanting a lesbian harem in my manifestation book a month before my trip.

Did the universe take me literally?

They sit me down because I'm dancing to music in my head, nothing that they can hear as they feed me chips and make me sip on water. I'm not gone, though. I know what I'm doing and where I am.

"I've simply surrendered to the vibes," I explain. "I don't need drinks to be like this, I'm just comfortable."

"You're in your senses?"

"Abso-fckn-lutely."

And they ask what I'm doing later that nice. Alas, I must pack for my morning train to Germany. They insist I stay with them the night and go bar hopping; that they'll pay for a new ticket and all my drinks, but I can't just take someone up on their offer like that.

"Well, let us know when you're going to leave," one says. "One of us will drop you off home."

"A tram from here goes directly to my hostel," I reply.

"Even better. If we're still here, we'll get you there safe."

And before I know it, someone else is already talking to me. Someone older, perhaps by a decade, and I'm 25, it's fine. We go on and on about anything and everything over the gin and tonic she bought me. Endlessly. Clealry I have better chemistry with this new stranger who won't even tell me where they were from, but I can deduce they're not Dutch.

Same question. "What are you doing tonight?"

Pack for morning train to Germany. I should leave. Right now. It's so late.

"Shame. I wanted to kiss you, if you'd let me."

I pause. I haven't been kissed in over a year. Oh, I do miss it...

"I don't mind," I whisper behind a shy smile.

Their hand is on my face, and we're suddenly making out passionately in the corner of this small lesbian bar that I'll probably never be in again. They pull away, and I'll forever remember the way they look at me with sparkling eyes.

"If you bring your things to my place, I'll drop you off at the train station tomorrow."

That was the smartest thing anyone had said to me all night, and I take them up on it, making out drunkenly in the taxi until I'm in their bed. Hands in hair, whispers of sweet nothings in my ears, and with me under them thinking, this is the prettiest I've felt in my entire life.

They don't fuck me. It isn't sex. Well, it takes an hour of insisting on my ability to consent before it happens. They make love to me, and it's the most accurate way I can describe it. Tenderness, compliments, rough nicks to soothe over with wet licks as they keep watch over every reaction, every sound that comes from me. It's overwhelming. I haven't been touched in over a year.

"I'm so happy you came with me instead," they grin, and I cock my head dubiously. That's when I'm told that I was being flirted with when playing pool, and I missed out on a foursome.

Oh well.

We barely sleep, kissing and loving until morning comes and they keep their promise. Takes my number and steals a kiss before I walk past the barricade.

This can't be real, I wonder on the train to Germany. It couldn't have been, but it was. Just a brown girl that couldn't care less about being the prettiest, smartest, funniest lesbian in the room because all I wanted was to feel safe.

And they all sent me off cherished and adored and blushing and floating on cloud nine.

I do miss Amsterdam.

A/N: I shoulda gone and had the foursome fr kinda regret it but I was a dumbass that didn't realize they were hitting on me.

─────────────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆────────────

Today's Playlist: Wine Pon You - Doja Cat ♬

─────────────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆────────────

~ Miki | Myca ✧

[ginnyrules27]

Alright ya’ll, people asked to read this so here you go! The short story that I wrote (for a grade mind you) that after researching to make sure I was being authentic (as I am half Irish on my father’s side and I’d done a historical short story about my heritage on my mom’s side the previous year), my professor gave me an ‘F’ and called me ‘racist’. Killed any want or need to write for the rest of the year too--had I not worked at Disney and discovered Descendants, the Choosing series might never have been born. 

You hear that Professor? You almost killed one of my popular fanfiction series before I even knew it’d be a thing! 

As I said before, concrit is welcomed -- just be gentle! I literally wrote this the night before it was due so I know there’re some issues :D 

---------------------------------------------

A Day In 1897

Erin sighed as she shifted into her chair. Liam’s letter said that he would be home around nine, however the chimes from the town clock signaling nine o’clock had come and gone, and yet Liam still wasn’t home. The other lodgers who shared the tenement with them had fallen asleep hours ago, shifting on the makeshift mattresses of straw and blankets to make the stone floor a little more comfortable.

As the town clock struck twelve, the door opened with a loud creak; something that Erin feared would wake the others. However, they just turned in their sleep—oblivious to the world around them.

“Welcome home Liam,” Erin whispered, putting a hand in front of her mouth to prevent a yawn from escaping. She tired easily now that she was well into her ninth month of pregnancy in addition to the long hours she had spent during the previous day to make the room look decent for Liam’s arrival. Liam, it seemed, was just as tired as she was but he hid it better than she did; straightening up and engulfing Erin into a big warm hug that she’d missed these past five months.

“How’s the baby?” she heard him mumble as she felt the pressure of his chin on her shoulder. Erin could hear the worry in his voice and she couldn’t blame him. This was their third try for a child, Erin being unable to carry to term twice before. She didn’t know how losing this child would affect Liam.

“The baby’s fine,” Erin whispered in response, handing Liam a threadbare pillow to put behind his back. She turned to light their only candle and longed for the luxury of a gas lantern. “We both are, don’t worry about us. You need rest. What did you do this time? Canal building? Farming?”

“Building a sewer drain down in Brooklyn,” she heard his faint reply and sighed. Liam was working himself to death in order to provide for his family. Erin honestly didn’t know how much more Liam could take. Every time she saw him, he seemed more and more drained and withdrawn. His once thick brown hair was thinning rapidly and graying around the temples. His face was now marred with lines in the corner of his eyes and by his lips, making his face appear more like a well-worn book with the corners folded over.

“Liam, this needs to stop,” Erin knelt down as best she could next to Liam, using the arm of his chair as support. “Your body can’t take much more of this.”

“It’s not for long, Erin,” Liam muttered, his eyes fighting to stay open with every passing minute. He shifted slightly in his seat. “Just until I’ve saved up enough for us to get out of this city and move out west.”

Erin slowly got up from her position, wincing as her ankles called out in agony. Liam always claimed that they wouldn’t be in New York for long but the jobs he worked barely gave them enough to gather food. Erin couldn’t imagine being able to pay for one train ticket let alone three!  

Lost in thought, Erin didn’t even notice when she jostled the tin of sewing supplies on the table. The clattering of sewing needles, thread and thimbles across the wooden table brought her back to reality and she quickly gathered them up and put them back into the tin.

The blue and white tin was a gift from her mother on her wedding day and the only reason they hadn’t pawned it off was because Liam wouldn’t let her. He had insisted that earning the household funds was his responsibility and that it wasn’t fair to her to deal with the uncertainty.

Turning to Liam, Erin felt a soft smile grace her lips as she saw the sight of him sleeping in his chair, his chin drooped down onto his chest and the soft snores filled the room with a melody better than any form of music Erin could think of. Bringing a blanket and draping it over him, Erin curled up in a chair of her own. Looking over the despondent room, her eyes rested on the sewing supplies as she too lost her battle with consciousness.

The next day, Erin awoke to a house full of women and small children. The men had already left to try to get jobs in the city, a ritual that was becoming almost routine. Erin got up slowly, wincing as a spasm of pain ran through her lower back. Shrugging it off as a side effect of the odd position she’d slept in the night before, Erin managed to get up.

“Good morning, dear,” an older woman noticed her and smiled as she dished some leftover colcannon from the icebox. “I’m sorry I didn’t stay up in time to welcome Liam.”

“That’s quite alright, Eithne,” Erin returned the smile as she waddled over to the communal table where all the other women were gathered, along with some of the smaller children who were unable to go out to try to get small jobs of their own. The room felt warmer than usual, even with the front door open to allow for some air to enter. Even the air felt heavy, as if an invisible weight was pressing down with all its might.

“Did he get home alright?” a younger woman asked, her blue eyes shining with curiosity. “The city’s awfully dangerous at night.”  

“He didn’t get home until midnight Siobhán. Even criminals need to sleep,” Erin sighed, catching herself before she tripped over the uneven floor. As another woman guided her to a seat, Erin accepted the dish of food from Eithne. Lately, the only thing she could really stomach was colcannon—and thankfully, the main ingredients of potatoes, cabbage, and butter made it budget-friendly. “I hope he finds a job soon. I’m worried about him.”

“He’ll be fine,” Siobhán told her with a smile, rubbing her own belly. “I’m surprised he’s gone back out. He only just got back.”

“Liam probably wants to get a head start,” Erin told her, digging into her meal. “After all, several jobs have become available. It said so in the papers that the economy is improving since that episode in 1893.”

“Did you hear about Commissioner Roosevelt? Apparently he tried to get on the National Republican ticket!”

“Again?” Erin chuckled. “Well, he’s stubborn, I’ll give him that. At least he’s doing some good for the police department. At least now police officers can’t bribe their way to the top anymore.”

““Roosevelt’s made some powerful enemies though,” Siobhán remarked, picking up one of the young children who was attempting to climb onto the table. “Closing the saloon on Sundays for one. My cousin Niall told me that most of the coppers nearly revolted after hearing about that.”

“Well, they’ll just have to get used to it,” Eithne told them as she began mending a pair of trousers at the table. All the women did some form of mending to earn money while the men went out to search for jobs. It was needed, and if Erin was honest, it was fun to help provide for the household in some way. “By the looks of it, Roosevelt’s not going anywhere. But enough of this. It’s not for young children to hear.”

She was right, as she often was, but that didn’t stop the disappointed mutters coming from the younger women. Erin sighed and finished her plate of Colcannon before getting up to clean off her dish. The room was small enough—it wouldn’t do to make it smaller with clutter. As she tided up, her thoughts strayed to Liam. She hadn’t been able to greet him with his favorite meal when he came home, but being one day late wouldn’t make a difference would it?

“I’m going to the market,” she announced, startling the others. “Does anyone want to join me?”

“Are you sure, dear?” Eithne inquired. “A woman in your condition shouldn’t travel.”

“I’ve gone to market before,” Erin reminded the older woman. “I won’t be long. Just a trip to the butcher and maybe the grocer.”

“If you’re sure, dear,” Eithne frowned, but turned to prevent one of the children from falling off a chair. Erin sighed. She straightened up her dress, fixed her hair, and grabbed a nearby basket along with some cash from a tin before heading out into the oppressive summer heat.  

The city bustled with movement as Erin walked through the dark streets of the tenements. She hated living there, but she certainly preferred it to living on the streets. The butcher’s was a few blocks from where she lived so Erin had a bit of a walk before reaching it, having to stop twice to catch her breath and rub her still aching back.

In all honestly, she didn’t mind. Unlike Liam, who yearned for the wide-open world of the western United States, she preferred the hustle and bustle of New York City. She just wished she could live in an area of the city with a little more room.

“Hello, Ronan,” Erin called upon entering the butcher’s shop. It was a small store with very little light and the constant smell of meat. Every wall seemed to have some manner of meat hanging from a rack behind the counter; allowing for a small amount of floor space for customers in front of the counter. “Have you any good sales today?”

“Aye,” Ronan nodded, looking up from his paper to smile at the smaller woman. “Hello deirfiúr.”

“Brother!”

“Ah, a brother can’t greet his sister the way he’s been doing it for twelve years without a reprimand?” Ronan chortled at the faux-peeved look on Erin’s face. “What can I do you for, Erin?”

“Do you have any pork sausage or pig’s totters?”

“Liam get a job?” he asked, looking surprised. “Normally, you tend to avoid the pricy stuff.”

“No, Liam’s still looking,” Erin sighed. “I was just thinking I’d make him a good meal tonight since I couldn’t last night.”

Ronan shook his head in amusement. “Well, at least he’s still looking. If I was in his shoes, I’d given up by now.”

“Well, thank goodness you’re not Liam,” Erin stated, her voice stilted at the implied insult. “Now, about the meat?”

“Sorry, Erin,” Ronan sighed. “But the meat’s too expensive, and I’m not going to be the one to put stress on you now.”

“Please?” she begged. “I’d love to make Liam a good meal for once.”

She thought for a moment, looking around the shop. While she knew her brother would do anything for her, she wasn’t going to be the one to take advantage of their relationship to get cheaper meat.

“If pork sausage and pig’s totters are too expensive, then do you have some pig’s blood?” Erin asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Aye, that I can sell you,” Ronan smiled. “Going to make some black pudding?”

“It might be the one thing to make him happy,” Erin smiled, paid for the item and bid her brother farewell. She thankfully had the barley and seasoning at home,  and so made her way back as quickly as she could, which wasn’t that quick, considering she was nearing her time. Her swollen ankles made the short walk seem unbearable. Sweating from the heat, Erin got back and stopped in the doorway and placed her hands on her hips as she tried to catch her breath, wincing as a spasm of pain ran through her body again.

“Tired, dear?” Eithne asked as she picked up her mending from the table to make room for the items. “I told you a woman in your condition shouldn’t travel.”

“Yes, Eithne,” Erin nodded. “But I was able to get a special treat that I’ll make for Liam tonight.”

“Oh, what is it?” Siobhán asked as she got up from her seat, one hand on her belly to balance herself, to offer the seat to Erin. Despite the similar appearances in belly size, Erin was farther along than Siobhán.

“Pig’s blood,” Erin said, taking the offered seat. “I’m planning on making a black pudding for dinner tonight!”

That caused the entire room to gasp in excitement. The last time they’d had something like that was back when Liam first got the job that took him away for five months.

“Do you need help?” a young child asked, eager to be included in the process. A sharp pang along her side stopped Erin from answering as she gasped in pain. The pang was sharper than the ones she had been feeling all day. The damp feeling running down her legs and trickling down to the floor ensured her assumption that it was indeed time for her child to enter the world.

“Erin!” Eithne exclaimed in shock, but then settled as she realized what was happening. Looking down, she addressed the child who asked if he could aid in dinner preparations. “Senan, I need you to go run and get Liam. He’ll be with your father this time.”

The young child nodded and ran out the door as if the hounds of hell were on his heels. Eithne then looked over at the eldest girl in the room and began to address her.

“Niamh, you’re in charge of all the younger children. Make sure they don’t get underfoot.”

“Yes, ma’am,” she nodded, her braided brown hair slapping her in the face as she did so. Ushering the children into the other side of the room, Niamh couldn’t help but notice the other women putting sheets up to hide the sight from the children.

“Siobhán, get a pot of hot water! Saoirse, you need to go get towels!” Eithne commanded. Despite being in the country the longest, hints of her Irish accent could be heard when she was upset, rattled or focused. “It’s alright, Erin. God wants you to have this baby now.”

Erin nodded, sweat matting her brown hair to her head, and she shut her eyes as a wave of pain passed over her. “Oh cac!” she cried as the pain intensified.

“Erin!” Eithne scolded. “Language!”

Erin didn’t respond, but instead focused on breathing as Siobhán showed her. Having given birth to five healthy children, Erin figured the woman knew what she was doing. A crash resonated through the room as Liam bounded through the door.

“Erin!”

“I’m fine!” Erin gasped out, clutching Siobhán’s hand for dear life. Sweat matted her hair and the heat from the day seemed almost overpowering. The pain seemed to get closer and closer together with each spasm. Liam, Erin assumed, had either gone to wait with the children or was out in the hall.

“Do you want me to send Liam out to get a midwife?” Siobhán asked, her own face glistening with sweat.

“There’s no time,” Eithne responded, coming up from monitoring Erin’s progress. “Erin, you need to push now.”

Erin began pushing, her face changing colors from the pale it had been to a bright red. Tears began mingling with the dried sweat, running down her mouth to allow Erin the taste of salt on occasion. However, a painful sensation unlike the one she was experiencing gave her pause.

“What happened?” she gasped, her voice no higher than a whisper.

“You just have a little tear dear,” Eithne told her, not looking up from watching the progress. She turned to whisper something to Siobhán, who nodded and ran off behind the sheet. “Lay your head back down, Erin. You need to relax.”

That was easier said than done, Erin thought bitterly. But the thought quickly left her thoughts as another strain ran through her body.

“Push, Erin!” Siobhán encouraged her, returning from the task Eithne had given her. Erin resumed pushing, the sweat returning to her face as her wet dress stuck to her body like a stamp on parchment. After several more pushes, the sensations stopped and the room quieted. Out of the corner of her eye, Erin could see a small bundle in Siobhán’s arms.

But if that’s the baby, Erin thought, then why isn’t it crying? That’s what babies do right?

After all, all five of Siobhán’s children had cried when they arrived into the world.

“What’s wrong?” Erin asked. “What’s wrong with my baby?”

None of the women made to answer as panic enveloped Erin like a blanket. Was the baby mute? Feeble-minded? Was it deformed somehow?

“Erin…” Siobhán began to speak but stopped as tiny whimpers started to form from the bundle and a smile appeared on her face. “Your child’s fine.”

Erin’s shoulders slumped in peace. The baby was fine. After two failed and painful pregnancies, here was proof that she was a good woman. A good wife.

“Let me stitch you up, dear,” Eithne said softly as Saoirse handed her Erin’s blue and white sewing tin. Erin didn’t even notice each prick of the needle as it passed through her skin. All she knew, lying there covered in sweat and blood, was that she was finally a mother.

After it was finished, Siobhán placed the baby in her mother’s arms. “Congratulations Erin. It’s a girl.”

Eithne, it seemed, had left the room as she re-entered with Liam in tow, who rushed to the side of his wife and new daughter.

“What do you want to name her?” Erin whispered, panting softly and struggling to keep her eyes open as she looked at her husband.

“I was thinking we could name her after your mam,” Liam said. “Nora Cleary has a good ring to it.”

“I like it,” Erin smiled and relaxed as she continued to hold her new child—the newest edition to their family.

[charlotte-of-wales]

Hey so I know you were in Italy for a bit. I’m visiting I March. Would love any tips/recommendations for Milan Rome Naples or Amalfi

omg I am turning into those annoying people who never shut up about their study abroad but I gotchu

I never been to Italy in March so I can't help in the weather department and unfortunately I never made my way to the Amalfi so I can't help there either :/

continuing under the cut bc this good looong

overall, food-wise I don't have any specific recommendations because it does depend on where you're staying but honestly even turist traps usually have good food (although very overpriced) but as a rule of thumb, if people are ushering you in and they have pictures on the menu or pasta for over 15 euros.....probably a turist trap. Absolutely try the amatriciana in Rome and honestly.....order whatever tf you want because guess what? Some Italians are going to judge you regardless, do not care about their cappuccino or cheese rules.

Rome and Milan both have good public transportation systems (Milan's a little better though), and I don't know about Naples because I didn't use public transit there. Both Milan and Rome accept Apple Pay and I recommend doing that instead of buying a paper ticket every time/using your credit card to pay. The Rome metro can get pretty crowded (especially at Termini station, aka my own personal hell) but around 5-6pm when traffic is horrible it's better to get on the metro than on a bus. Also the metro comes more regularly.

for Milan, you probably only need 2-3 days tops and last time I went I stayed close to Castello Sforza and I feel like anything central like that/closer to the Duomo is fine because you can just walk. I recommend doing the obvious sights there and then they have good museums/couture shops if that's what you're into.

for Naples, I didn't get to visit the palace there and I regret it because it looks gorgeous from the outside. You can see a bit without actually buying a ticket to go in if you don't have much time. I also recommend going to the palace in Caserta if you can because it's GORGEOUS. Oh, and try the fried pizza; it's dripping with oil and smells funky but literally some of the best food I've had there was in Naples. They're also football OBSESSED if you're into that. There's also a massive archeological museum in Naples with a bunch of stuff from Pompeii.

and now Rome.....my beloved. So much to do, see, and eat. I always recommend staying closer to the Vatican because it's more lowkey but staying downtown is good too. I recommend the obvious things (Colosseum, Pantheon, St. Peter's) but also the Orange Gardens, Villa Borghese and Trastevere. Also if you see a place advertising that they have suppli and it looks crunchy GET IT. Miss my daily suppli so much. Oh, take advantage of those 3 euro breakfasts. And a piece of advice I was given that I always pass along, go inside churches in Rome when you can. That's where you'll find the prettiest places, even if it's not a known/massive church. They also have amazing archeological museums that I can recommend more in depth but that depends on your taste.

oh, regarding safety I was never pickpocketed but in crowded trains you definitely see people ogling turists so make sure you have your bags closed and in front of you and don't keep anything in your pocket. unfortunately you need to be aware of all times. and don't buy tickets to museums/sites from randoms on the street (saw that happening all the time at the Vatican) always buy at the ticket office or at the website.

[mellowquint]

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog Liveblog!

Part 1; the Dining Car

OKAY WE'RE FINALLY DOING THIS READY, SET, LEGO (wait wrong fandom–)

So insert character is first time working for the train huh, okay cool cool

Oh god now i have to name them uhh (yes i will be referring to they/them, non-binary characters ftw)

… I went with Trainee (get it cuz uh train and yeah I'll see myself out)

Darling your scribbles are fine, better than mine actually

Trainee is a nervous train wreck *ba dum tss* yeah ok I'll stop making train jokes

Oh dang here comes the conductor. Apparently todays the conductor's last day after thirty two years.

OOHH THE TRAIN IS CALLED MIRAGE EXPRESS

I like how the sonic crew didn't forget about spagonia Jejdkddlfkkdkfk thought that was a one time thing

The menu only has 3 things, Why? lmao

Wait they're ALL MICROWAVE MEALS?? Can't they afford a chef? This is someone's speaking who has not gone onto these fancy train cars yet so forgive me

Oh fun tidbit the trains actually used for event's only.

"So I'll need you to do everything in your power to make sure our paying guests are well taken care of, understood?" Sir yes sir

AAAHHHHH AMYYYY SHE LOOKS SO ADORABLE WITH THE BIRTHDAY CAKE HEADBAND AND THE DRESS

HELP TAILS IN HIS DETECTIVE OUTFIT HE'S SO CUTEE

oh so it's Amy's birthday party!! Murder mystery theme eh? Someone's an Agatha Christie fan~~

ROUGE AND KNUCKLES YES also Rouge girl you just got on the train don't go stealing gift shop pens just yet lmao

"What cast of characters am i stuck with" OH SHOOT HE KNOWS 🤣

"Why can't i be normal for one second" you and me both Trainee

Also Sonic immediately bolting to get chilli dogs lmao, never change blue gumball dork

WHOOOO LOOKIT ALL OF THEM, ALSO HOLY MOLY BLAZE IS HERE TOO???? COOL COOL COOL 

EHH okay so now i collect the tickets, like a normal person, this wont be an embarrassing trip

"well the birthday discount certainly helped!" You and me both Amy

OH NEW LORE DROPPED, AMY'S A FAN OF TRUE CRIME PODCASTS!!! (I wonder if she would like the Magnus Archives…)

"Here's the key that unlocks any door in the train" hmm seems kinda sus, but oh well birthday girl gets the birthday key

and Blaze is here to grace us with her presence and elegance, reminding why I love her. Love how she just casually tells us that she's visiting from a separate dimension like it's nothing lmao

Sooo Blaze has sweet tooth cannon? Yes.

LMAO TRAINEE NO "Why can't i win in this group"

Rouge darling please give the conductor his money back it's to early to steal anyones lunch money 

Y'know it's a bit awkward knowing that Trainee just realised he's talking t The Sonic The Hedgehog, like my dude did you not know what he looks like? Either way Sonic's pretty chill

"I brought my own sparkle gelatin. It's a jelly that can melt away even the most jaded hearts" Tails imma need you stop being so cute and wholesome for ONE SECOND OKAY I CAN'T TAKE IT ✨🥺

Awww Trainee and Tails are jelly buddies!!!

"Thank goodness someone on this train is normal" buddy wait till you see the kid fly an airplane and can fly with his two tails lmao

Espio why you holding that rose who is it for 👀

DID ESPIO SERIOUSLY READ TRAINEES MIND?? (Edit he did in fact, something about his Ninjutsu or something)

"Can you cling into walls" "i most certainly can" okay just tell the conductor that, I'll now know where to find you then. In the air vents.

"Do you sell gift bags here" ….. shadow you didn't forget to bring Amy a present her birthday party right?

"Robot arm reminding me that one AI from Wall–E, hopefully we're not going to that route 

"Actually, uh Train, the conductor wants me to have the whole plate" lmao you ain't slick Trainee

Okayyy last but not least we have Vector, who does not in fact have his ticket, aanddd now we're supposed to find it

"I wonder what cake topper Sonic picked out for me" "...shoot, i was supposed to give Amy a cake… what am i supposed to do?" Ya done goofed you blue gumball dork

"You don't need to bow everytime you see me" sure Blaze it's not like i was stress responding. definitely.(seriously tho i love her dialogues)

Okay imma take a gamble and ask shadow if he sees any tickets 

"Only three items on the menu..? You don't even have drinks listed" THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING!!! Also we only have like three drinks too, water, coffee, and chaos cola

"I'll have to take you up on the coffee soon. Just the beans and A spoon, though" …… shadow um what??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BEANS AND A SPOON ONLY YOU HOT TOPIC WANNABE??? NOT EVEN WATER OR MILK???

I spent 5 minute hitting every random object where's the ticket – OH WAIT LEFT ARROW

NAPKIN IT'S IN THE NAPKIN

"Lost ticket added to you inventory" YES BUD LET'S GOO

Poor trainee has to double shift on being the microwave expert AND security guard smh, Trainee better has a good paycheck

I'm hoping up on here saying to PLEASE TELL ME WHO DID ALL THE SPRITES IN THE GAME THEY'RE ALL SO WONDERFUL AND EXPRESSIVE MY GOD 

…. Oh. OH!!  SO THAT'S WHY THEY'RE ALL WEARING SPECIFIC CLOTHES. Amy's you nerd she even got them all lore cards i love this girl

So Sonic's role is to be the ship captain. I do wonder why a ship captain of all roles since their in a train setting but ill take

AJDHKJHFKJSLKJFLKJFFKJLA I LOVE THIS SCENE

Oh shadows supposed to be a locksmith?.... I wasn't the only one who thought he was gonna be a barista stationed at the cafe right? My guy might have to dress a little bit more specific for a locksmith

and of course we;ve got our birthday girl as the journalist!

Sweet got a map of the train baby!! Alsooo the lounge looks suspiciously close to the conductor's car…

Well with that out of the way let's get started!!!

Oooohhhh ok cool cool cool got i

"This way there's always a neutral party" yes tails you go you smart cookie

Y'know it's very sweet of all of them to play along with the murder mystery roleplay. Everyone wish they have friends like that

Tails you adorable smart nugget how come you keep getting cuter and adorable by the minute 🥺✨

"My lore is that I'm a nosey person turned journalist" aww c'mon birthday girl don't bring yourself down lol

SUDDEN MYSTERIOUS SHAKE 

Oh wait it's just the train moving

Why is it even shaking THAT much???

Anndd screen goes dark, welp i guess that's it for the dining car scene for now

Aanndd that's all for part 1 hope you guys enjoy and see you guys around part 2!!

[maybenotmei]

kaoru seta x reader who’s a vocalist?(✯◡✯)

a song for you !

we sing, we dance, and we captivate the audience with a performance beyond their wildest dreams!

ー(=´∀｀)人(´∀｀=)ー

notes: this is a song for you, oh im singing for you, oh oh, mhm, this is a song for you, oh im singing for youuuuu nae modeungeol da julgeeee ALSO NOTE the first 4 hcs are written pre-graduation and the rest are post-graduation

whether you'd be a solo artist or a vocalist of a band/unit, expect kaoru to be at most if not every concert you hold!

whether it'd be at backstage or she'd actually pay for tickets (which, with the help of kokoro, are always somehow vip passes), she's there to cheer for you!

she is your #1 fan. after all, she thinks your voice is quite wonderful to hear!

if someone from hhw or just one of her friends suggests kareoke, she might even ask to invite you (if you're not busy with any sort of promo or activity) because, well, your voice is so nice to hear even if it's just talking but she also wants others to hear your beautiful voice too!

she may join you for vocal practices if you need to, and she learns quite a bit about what you do in these practices too. like... "ah, so this is what happens in vocal training..." (.you: "...don't you do vocal training too?")

sometimes she sings along to your songs, you might catch her humming it. though, if you ask her directly what she thinks of your songs, she'd say that she prefers hearing you sing it ("your voice is truly unmatched... how fleeting..." or something along the lines of that... i'm not poetic... sorry...)

i feel like after a concert she'd hand you a water bottle with a rose taped to it while praising your performance with a shakespeare quote. while you're resting from your performance expect her to talk. or not. depending on what you want after a performance— she doesn't mind.

"as shakespeare once said, thy voice is comparable to a summer's day."

"...shakespeare never said that...?"

of course, she may be pretty busy with university sometimes. oh, but she's watching your concerts while studying. sometimes she doesn't though...

sorry, you're Kinda distracting . it's just that when you realize that beautiful voice you hear from that concert you're watching and that beautiful person in the center is Your significant other is just. wow. i am so lucky. yeah she thinks that

hm, dealing with fame you say...? well, kaoru's quite the expert at that— if something's Really stressing you out, she'll give you some personal advice she has learned over the course of the years.

if you need tips on fanservice... hey...

she supports you on any path you decide to take with your musical career. if you decide to go solo, sure! as a unit? she's holding all the cylumes of your unitmates, especially yours. you're going to stop/pause? that's fine, get some rest and take your time.

ah, but your voice isn't the only thing she loves about you. she loves you for you, you as yourself, and you don't need to prove anything to know that she will always be there in every step you make.

[fizzingwizard]

Well in the end I made it back

I tried to talk to JAL staff at the airport in the US, and they said someone would be waiting for those of us whose connecting flights were canceled when we arrived in Tokyo. I was nervous, but it couldn't be helped, because they said there was no way to know what the status of other flights would be until we arrived. I wish they could have just put me on a flight that had an opening at that time, but I guess it was possible more domestic flights would be canceled... Or that there were no empty seats at that time at all. Not sure why that would be unless they were consolidating flights to cancel as many as they could, but then I should have been included...

But it worked out, I got to Tokyo and there was someone holding a sign when I got off. There were only two names on the sign so I wonder if my flight was canceled just because it was less inconvenient than canceling other flights. I'm sure there were other people with connections on the flight coming in from other airports, but probably just not that many. They told me I couldn't get a new flight until the next day, and I really just wanted to go home at that point. If I had to stay at a hotel it would have been ok (having to stay at the airport overnight would suck, but Haneda is right in Tokyo and easily accessible by train and bus so I don't think I'd have had any trouble getting to a hotel). But it would have meant another day of traveling. I rather just get it over with.

Fortunately, when I said I really wanted to go home tonight, they had a slip to request a refund for a bullet train ticket. So, I had to go to Shinagawa, and get the bullet train from there. And then I took my local train to my town and a taxi to my apartment. Actually, the last part was easier via bullet train because I'd done the hard part in Shinagawa. If I came home via airplane I had to go through two train stations I'm less familiar with and then search for a cab. But I dealt with the local trains getting to the bullet train and my local one is only a 10 minute ride. Then the taxis are right outside. So riding the bullet train took longer than the airplane would have and was more inconvenient, but was a little more convenient once I actually got off the last train. As long as I can get everything refunded it's fine. I forgot to get receipts for the local trains though -.-' because I'm dumb. But I did get the bullet train receipt which is a lot more important.

So I got home at almost 11 pm Japan time after getting up at 7 am EST, so it was about 26 hours... But everything went relatively smoothly. I was worried the airport would have no idea what to do with me, or that if I took the bullet train it'd be a bitch to get to (I'd never done it from Haneda before but it takes a while from Narita), or that the planes and trains would just all be full with other stranded passengers, or that I'd get a way back part way but arrive too late to make it all the way home without paying hundreds of dollars for taxis. In the end, it took some extra time but I should be getting a refund, and I didn't run into any trouble. I even got dinner on the way. And my apartment is intact, nothing fell in the earthquake. A little issues with my AC which I'm not sure what's going on there but it's working now. And someone should come get my gas restarted in the next few hours. They were supposed to come yesterday but obviously I didn't get home in time to meet them. No problem, easy fix.

It's one of the things I do love about living in Japan. It's small and there's a lot of public transportation, so you can get around different way and you're probably not going to be stranded. There are a lot of ways to access your money or buy what you need or pay your bills. People are hospitable and polite. If this had happened in reverse, I would have been stuck at my connecting airport in the US with no way to get home. I'd have had to wait for the next day flight and would feel less sure of being able to stay at a hotel for the night and even less sure of how I'd get back to the airport the next day. Sometimes it's not a lot of hassle because hotels nearby have airport shuttles and stuff. But those hotels fill up fast and not all airports have them. America is big but not built for convenience. Or sense. My mom's partner is in finance and he told me point blank, the reason American taxes are such a bitch is because companies lobby for them to be difficult. People making mistakes on their taxes is free money. I told him I just use an app in Japan and it takes ten minutes. He said stuff like that is coming to the US (I hear you already can do your taxes online now) and theatening his job, so I'm interested to see if it will possibly turn filing taxes into a less confusing, time-consuming art.

Also while I was home he found out a new client of his had come to him because she was an immigrant with iffy English skills but felt uncomfortable with what her previous advisor had been telling her. And he realized she had been totally taken advantage of by this guy - he was making stuff up and skimming money off her while not actually paying for what she needed. He was going to report this guy, but then someone else he'd screwed over already had! Was nuts. It really sucks to be an immigrant especially if you don't speak the majority language. I feel like that here in Japan even to a lesser degree. Always nervous I'm going to miss an important detail. In this woman's case, she did everything she was supposed to, she just met a real asshole. And she lost a few thousand dollars which she may never recover. And it's not like she can afford that. Which doubly sucks. We feel like "Justice is served" if we can at least catch the criminal. But the victim is still harmed. Sometimes they can recover some of what they lost. But a lot of the time it's lost for good.

[eolewyn1010]

So. Let me tell you about my day!

Silly owl, you say. It's, like, 9 am! On a Saturday. The day is only just beginning!

My day is about finished though, because I'm out of spoons. Bullet list!

I wanted to go to the library in Berlin; it has a wider array of the literature I need than our library at home. To have a long day for research, my usual routine is start out early, drive home late. I got up at 4.30 am. Starting out with one spoon less (or fewer?) by default.

Make that two spoons, because I didn't sleep much last night, despite going to bed fairly early. Didn't fall asleep. Oh well.

Was at the station in time, sat down, idly watched my surroundings. Calm morning, good so far.

The bus is supposed to inform me 30 minutes before the regular departure time if there will be delays. The message that there would be a delay reached me five minutes before regular departure. That in and of itself is a fork. But...

The delay. Is one and a half fucking hours. There goes a spoon.

I call my mum. She's up early on Saturdays, too, so at least I didn't wake her up, but she can't help me and I get a distinct feeling that now I'm gnawing on her spoons, so I try to leave her alone.

An hour passes. I go and drink a hot chocolate to stay awake (I can't drink coffee; it makes me nervous, and I'm already on edge), trying to hold onto my spoons.

There's a fire somewhere near the station. It's no threat for me, but there's a smoke cloud over everything, and it smells bad. Fork, I hope that goes by soon.

By one and a half hours overtime, four busses to Berlin have started from here. I'm not allowed to take any of them, because I'm bound to my specific ticket and bus number. They cannot take me in before my bus is in with two hours overtime. Every one of them is a fork. Do I start to look like a hedgehog already?

One and a half hours, and there's no bus in sight. There goes my spoon. I call my mom again. I'm sorry to make her suffer from this, too, but I need to talk to someone; my nerves are wearing thin.

I'm discussing ditching it and coming home. Once they are in with two hours, I can claim a full refund.

Like, ten minutes before my train home goes, the fucking bus arrives. They're in with 1 hour 50 minutes overtime. Fancy that, that they got in just before they had to pay refunds.

By now, my lack of sleep has caught up on me, and there's no store of the bus company by the station where anyone could have told me anything. It's good that they don't have a store there anymore; it's what kept me from committing a murder on this fine morning.

I also drank a hot chocolate about an hour ago, so now I need to pee. I'm operating on my last spoon here. I wanna go home, but the bus is there and I cannot claim a refund. I board the bus to Berlin, having lost close to two hours of research time.

The toilet is locked. Fork, fork, fork. Will sit here for two and a half hours on a full bladder.

I sit in my place, search through my backpack. It dawns on me.

I didn't bring my lock.

Without my lock, I can't go into the library, because I'm not allowed to bring a full backpack in there. Laptops, writing stuff and so on go into a see-through plastic bag, rest goes to the lockers with a lock everyone brings for themselves. I know that. I brought my see-through bag. I didn't bring my lock.

There goes the spoon.

I call my mum again. She doesn't deserve this, but I'm breaking down. Trying to do so quietly, but I'm done for.

She tries to be helpful. Reminds me that I can get a lock for cheap in Berlin. But the thought of looking for a store in Berlin and then spending the day in the library with no spoons left sends me spiraling further. Ich kann nicht mehr.

I hang up. Take a breath, take three. Stare at the landscape outside for a while, because by now we're out of the city. It's beautiful out there, in the sunlight. Wish I could appreciate it. I can't handle this day, I know.

I wonder how many people sitting around have heard my breakdown, in spite of my attempts to be quiet. The thought fills me with irrational hatred. Fork everything.

I search my backpack for my power cord because my phone battery is running low. I find the cord, and a literal, physical spoon. Brought it so I can eat a yoghurt on the way because that's a long ride.

I stare at the spoon for a while. I'm close to hysterical giggles.

I put the spoon away and cancel all of my bus rides, the one this evening and the couple trips back and forth I had planned for the next weeks. I won't do this again. I take the first ride home that I can get once I land in Berlin today. It's expensive to book so short-term, but I have reached the end of my nerves; now money will have to do.

The bus company is a bloodsucker club who charge me 5 € for every ride I cancel. Cholera upon them all, but I can't care anymore. I will get home today, and then I won't ever try to rely on them again.

That done, I have calmed down a bit. I won't have to go looking for a fucking lock, I won't have to try and focus on something my brain won't be able to take anymore. It's some lost money, and a very lost day, but I'll charge all my devices on the way; the bus owes me that much. Thank someone I brought my power cords, amirite? Would have been nice to remember the lock, but the things a brain can and can't do...

I still need to pee. Fork, but I can handle it.

I take out my spoon and eat my yoghurt. Fork this day, there's no coming back from that.

And that, dear reader, is how I lost a beautiful Saturday to a colossal waste of time, nerves, and ultimately money, and why I desire to set a bus company on fire.

[chrissie2003]

Scenario part 2: Being followed from home (Sukuna)

Sukuna was a bastard and we all knew it. Even in the relationship, when both of you had ups and downs he was still his same self. (Don't ask how you got into the relationship it just happened.)

You worked evening to late shifts at your job since you took classes in the morning. Daily you took the train from one station to commute to your desired places. Normal days as usual when you got a call from your boss saying he will raise your pay. But you had to work two shifts during the late nights until morning. Hesitated you did, but accepted because you needed the money. Although you explained to your boss this will be the final time you do this work and he agrees with you.

"Hey Sukuna", You called from your cell phone. He was at the grocery store buying you two dinners. "Yeah?" He picked up, as you heard busy noises in the back. "I'm at work right now and I won't get off until 4 am since my boss is raising my paycheck. We have to call off dinner!" You told him. "Why would you tell me that NOW woman, I'm at the store," Sukuna said. You felt bad that he was gathering food and expecting you two would have dinner. "Sorry, Sukuna I'll make it up for the both of us, I'm getting off the phone. See you in 7 hours or whenever I get home, okay?" You hung up the phone.

In your long shift with only 2 breaks consisting of 20 minutes each, you went back to the front desk to take the orders of the customers. It was mainly empty in the lobby as it was you, one of your coworkers, and the janitor there. Bored you flopped yourself on the counter and took a quick nap until someone came in. It was 2 am as you looked up again at the clock. Nobody was there but you. "Have they gone home already?" You said. "One more hour until I go home I wonder what Sukuna doing right now." You mumbled to yourself. To your surprise, a "click" at the front door caught your attention. At the door, were two men dressed in formal clothing. Wonder what they were doing at a burger shop at 2 am was none of your Business so you took their order.

"Hi what can I get you?" You said.

One of the men smiled at you but the other remained silent. "Yes, I would like a double cheeseburger with a coke no fries." He said taking off his hat to reveal a bald spot. "Sure! That will be $15.23, want your receipt?" You said but he declined. "What bout you sir?", You said to the other man but he didn't reply. Instead, he sat in the back of the establishment. That was weird you thought but you quickly got that out of your head, as you prepared the order. Cooking the bald man kept eyeing the other one, looking at him rather suspiciously. But he didn't move a muscle just sat there texting on his phone. You peeked behind the counter and accidentally made eye contact with him. Your heart was racing because you didn't mean to do that but you got the other guy's order ready.

Marching back to the counter, you gave the man his food and received the money. He waved goodbye and only remained the man on his phone. Walking carefully back to the break room you gathered your belongings and texted both sukuna and your boss that you were leaving. He texted back it was fine to leave without locking since he was coming back at 7 am. You replied alright but told him about this man that was still here. Your boss replied that You need to tell him to leave since he could get arrested.

"Hey, Sir! The place is about to close so you need to leave the establishment." He looked up at his phone and just glared at you. You didn't even bother to ask him twice but quickly left to go to the train station.

"Hey, sukuna I'm off of work now and heading home!" You texted him twice. He didn't respond. "That's so weird he always answers me, what's going on?" You were engaged with your phone that you were almost about to miss the train. "NO wait for me!" The captain looked at you angrily as you stepped onto the train with your ticket. You sat in the middle row as usual and put on your headphones before you departed. It was 5 am the sun barely even out with darkness lingering around in the sky. It was pretty peaceful being out this late. Minding your business looking outside from your window seat you saw a man glaring back at you from behind. It was the man from the restaurant. Your heart stopped.

Slowly you inched your way to the front seat to be near the conductor. Luckily he saw you eyeing the creepy man and asked to come to the front. Up there the man came forward but the conductor wouldn't let him. He shut the door where it was the two of you before your stop. It was light in the station where he pulled up. "Quickly get off and hurry to the police, I'll hold him!" He shooed you away as you ran off the train. "SUKUNA! SUKUNA! Please help me there's this creepy man following me!" You left him a voicemail as you ran down the road to get back home. Running down the street a black figure was chasing after you.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" You screamed tears running down your face. You wouldn't think a situation like this would happen to you. You made a turn down the street to see no lights only a telephone box. You ran to it and lock yourself in there. Crying you dialed 9-1-1. "Please-Help me there's this creepy man near me I need help." You whimpered until he came to the light. It was Sukuna. "Y/N."

Sukuna had blood stains on himself. You didn't know why until asked. "Sukuna-a", You got out of the telephone stand to hug him, "this man was c-chasing me and I was so scared!" Tears watering down your face as Sukuna comforted you. "Y/N" He lifts your face to see a smirk on his face, "I ripped his head off for you." Your eyes widened with shock but didn't care since the man was a stalker. As long as you were safe, Sukuna will always be there to protect you from any harm's way.

[causeknight]

I hate London and the cashless hell it has become:

Story time:

Right now I'm in London with my partner. We've come down because she needs to visit an embassy to get her passport renewed so she can maintain dual citizenship (story for a different time perhaps).

So we take the train down, walk out from the station and decide to catch a bus to get to our Airbnb. I walk on the bus with my wallet out and there's no hole in the bus driver's screen.

"So... Where do I put the money?"

"No cash, contactless only." My partner proceeds to tap her card twice. "No! 2 separate cards." Luckily my partner has a contactless credit card as well as a contactless debit card; I have only a non-contactless debit card to my name.

Later we need to use the underground trains. Thankfully they have a machine available that accepts bank notes and spits change back out so I could actually pay for these ones. Sadly, this seems to be the only device in the entirety of London that still accepts fiat currency.

The day continues. While we're down here I wanna meet up with a friend from London so we arrange to have dinner in a restaurant. When it comes time to split the bill, can I use cash? No, have to whip out my debit card. At least they still took chip and pin. We went to a pub afterwards for a cheeky pint and same thing happened, I pulled out a £20 note ready to pay for the drinks before noticing the sign behind the bar: "Card and contactless only".

End story time:

Now, I'm writing all this mainly as a way to document culture shock, but also because I find this whole situation to just be insane!

I was born in 1997, I'm effectively gen z. I tell you this so that you understand I'm not an old person complaining about new technology. I am a young person complaining about the lack of options, inaccessibllity, and hostile design of turning a city into a cashless society!

I was LUCKY that my partner happened to have a 2nd contactless card available for me to use! Otherwise I literally would not be allowed to take the bus. Could you imagine not being allowed on a bus because you don't own a specific piece of plastic? Can you imagine potentially being charged with a fine that's 400% the price of a bus ticket, even though you have the ability to pay, except in the 1 specific way they want you to pay?

I hope to christ that this "London standard" never makes it's way to the rest of England. I may be tumbling into the future kicking and screaming simply because I refuse to use contactless shite. I like cash; I like being able to tell how much I've spent in a day when I see the absence of it in my wallet.

I can only imagine how much worse this sucks for kids and the elderly. When you're too young to be issued with a debit card, how the hell are you meant to get around and hang out with friends?

Not sure how to end this long ass post. Just really want the politicians and business owners arguing for more cashless infrastructure to piss off really.

[ramrage]

God, I'm going to fucking kill myself i swear to fucking god. I don't know how I could've fucked my morning any more than I already fucking have. Here, let me detail to you how I am a fucking incompetent idiot:

Phone fucking shut off in the middle of the night so I get woken up an hour late. Shit's not turning on so I scramble to my laptop to tell my boss about the situation. This is perhaps the one thing that is not my fault, but tbh the list on such things starts and ends here

I decide that as it would lead me to being an hour late at least, it'd be better if I worked from home and so I let my boss know that my phone fucking shat itself and as such I'll be working from home lest I be terribly late. because that would be annoying right? well this was the wrong move, for anyone who is in a similar situation. he says something to the effect of "okay whatever you can work from home but not sure how a broken phone necessitates this"a nd like. whatever. fair. i could've. it wouldve been a bit more difficult since i have my train tickets on my phone but i could by more in person and then id be phoneless throughout the day and ideally id fix this shit asap but i dont have to

we're working on this post, which should've been entirely resolved and ready to go this morning, but i sent him the wrong copy for the post which we had discussed last night, so he was like wtf no dont you remember the change? and ugh. yes. i do. i did. belatedly. strike one.

then he wants to tag companies associated with the post except for one company. im fucking frazzled by my completely stupid fuck up and misread it as "tag companies associated with the post LIKE that one company" which struck me as odd since they're apparently weird about us posting about them. whatever. so i go through and list all the companies and send it his way to get an okay, but he's like. write out the company names properly. and this part is just a misunderstanding because the names will correct to the company's page name so it doesn't matter, but i guess he didn't know this which is fine and given my idiot fuckup not moments prior, a reasonable concern

i explain this, fine, and send him a screenshot of the drafted post with the tagged companies. including the one he said to not tag. fuck. now he's pissed like, i literally said to tag everyone /but/ them are you even paying attention. it would appear as if im not. what strike are we on now?

i correct that. he asks me to tag another company, which i do. turns out i didn't tag one of the /other/ companies that i had sent in the shorthand list and now he's fucking PISSED sending in all caps that i need to proof my work and that this post shouldn't be taking 30 minutes. absolutely correct, sir, it should not. i don't even know what to tell you at this point.

like holy shit. this was fucking brutal. i dont think i have ever been so fucking off my shit, and it was fucking THING after THING you would assume that after the first gaff, i'd be extra sensitive to making my list and checking it several fucking times over, but im just, fucking frazzled and i know we wanted this up before the start of the work day ideally so I'm rushing, and i already fucked up with the whole going in thing, which i honestly dont do much because i am scheduled to come in only twice a week and have somehow been managing to get sick on those days and i feel fucking awful that it looks like im probably playing hookie and shit because come on most people hardly miss work and they're there more often i just.

i used to be able to believe in my capabilities, at least a little bit, but im fucking up this ridiculously easy shit like what the hell. and its not in ways that seem to be entirely out of character for me. like, am i always going to be this fucking way? no. i dont have to be. i could put in the two fucking ounces of effort to get better, to improve myself, but i don't. for example, instead of making up shit to do, im writing this fucking sob story about something that probably doesnt even fucking matter that much and definitely isn't a big issue compared to the quotidien horrid shit people encounter.

an aside, as an honest assessment, i don't have much to do at this job which i guess is nice, but it makes me feel so useless and unnecessary. part of the reason i was more eager to just, work from home. obviously it's more comfortable for me, but i feel like im wasting my time and everyone's time and their water and tea and whatever, because im just taking up space and at least i dont have to pretend im busy if im home and i can get food and not be hunger braindead like i am when im there because im too normally-braindead to leave and get fucking food. like an idiot.

i need to get a new fucking job. i can't fucking come in next week (again, only work two days a week because this is a fucking pity job that i only landed because my dad likes networking, like a sociopath) like how do i face fucking anyone. just sit there like a stupid little bimbo looking nepo pity hire, the fucking child in the kitchen that you allow to tear bread into breadcrumbs because it's fine if they fuck it up, which they will, but it's something you can deal with because it doesn't fucking matter anyhow.

i feel like such a burden despite just sitting there. i am so fucking embarrassed and pissed i fucking. ugh. i