#if they grew up together under fukuzawa | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bungou-stray-dingus · 4 years ago

Note

Hello, I'm back! 💕 May I please ask for a serving of soft!dom Ranpo with a smol, shy female s/o scenario please~ and if you don't mind, maybe add a dash of daddy kink? (But if you're not comfortable with that, it's okayyy) THANK YOU ♥️

a/n : OOOOH a little bit of spicy snack boy >.^ SAY NO MORE! ALL MY LATE NIGHT INDULGENCES HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THIS MOMENT! GOsh I hope this is good because I am SWEATING writing this. But Ranpo is a whole snack.

T/W : Slight NSFW, A little Dash of Daddy Kink, Soft!Dom BB BOI, Fluff;

Ranpo

This boy loved how sweet and innocent you were, you were as sweet as the candy that he binge eats. But it wasn't just your sweetness or your innocence, you were also on the shorter side. Honestly, according to him, you were the dictionary definition of the perfect little cinnamon bun, which is what he called you often. Not only were you innocent and sweet, but you were also shy, which he was perfectly okay with. He didn't like talking much, so the two of you found a way to talk with your eyes and different facial expressions. Ranpo had brought you up to the Agency members once, and they (Dazai mainly) had begged him to bring you in, they wanted to meet you, the girl who had managed her way into Ranpo's secluded, snack filled life.

When he had first brought you to the Agency to meet everyone it was a big deal for him and you, he could tell how nervous you were about meeting his coworkers who had in a sense become family to him, but he had reassured you that they would all love you. "Not as much as I love you obviously, but how could they not love you? You're amazing Y/N." His hand way on your thigh, he was always touching you in some way, especially out in public. You were clearly the most beautiful girl in Yokohama, and he wanted everyone to know that you were his and his only. If anyone even looked in your direction he would squeeze your thigh, or his hand would trail down to your ass and give it a light squeeze causing a small squeal to escape your lips, your face dropping as you tried to hide from the strangers gazing eyes.

The train ride was short, when you got off the train Ranpo kept his hand on your lower back, hovering just above where your back curved to your butt. If needed, he could swiftly move his hand down, reaching under your skirt to pinch one cheek, letting any man who's eyes lingered a little longer than necessary know that you were taken by him. He brought you into the Agency building, watching your facial expressions as you took in the coffee shop on the lower level, breathing in through your nose, letting the smell of coffee fill your nostrils. You closed your eyes, sighing and smiling to him. "Adorable. I could kiss you." He said, you hadn't noticed how close he had gotten until you felt his breath, hot against the lope of your ear. His teeth grazed against the sensitive skin and your body shuddered. "R-Ranpo... there's people..." You were highly aware of the man behind the counter watching the exchange between the two of you.

"I don't mind. You're mine, aren't you?" His words were not much more than a whisper, his lips were moving lower down to your neck. His hands were on the same downward course, inching teasingly slow down your backside. Your breath hitched in your throat as you felt his nails dig into your upper thighs, right below the hem of your skirt. "Of course I'm yours... B-but... they're waiting upstairs." You tried to get his mind back on track. It wouldn't be unlike him to try to take you right there in one of the booths. It's not that he was actually into doing things in public, but he had a one track mind, and when he suddenly felt the urge, he acted on it no matter where you two were. He had riled you up many times, leaving you a flustered frustrated mess until you got back to the privacy of your own home.

He sighed, pulling away slightly as your words brought him back to the moment at hand. "We stay for twenty minutes. I need to get you home to deal with what you've caused." He murmured, his voice low and sultry. You felt the heat pooling between your thighs, but you had to keep a straight face when you met his coworkers, you had to make a good impression. Your teeth tugged at your bottom lip as you tried to contain yourself, rubbing your thighs together, literally trying anything to get a grip on yourself. It felt like your knees were shaking, and Ranpo noticed immediately. "Mmm, my little princess, you're not as innocent as you want people to believe. Be patient for Daddy, won't you?"

He led you over to the elevator, and the sexual tension between the two of you felt like a thick fog. You didn't know how long the two of you could hold off. He was practically undressing you with his eyes already, and it didn't matter how loose his pants were, you could see the slight bulge growing between his legs. As soon as the elevator doors shut he had you cornered against the wall, his arms on both sides of your head. His lips crashed into yours, his knee pushing your legs apart before bringing his leg up to drag across your most sensitive area. You moaned into the kiss, bucking your hips against his leg, desperate for his touch. He pulled away, a low chuckle escaping his lips as he looked down and saw the small wet spot on his pants. "So needy, you're already so wet for Daddy. I might just make you wait a little longer, how about that?" You didn't have time to answer before the doors slid open and he grabbed your wrist to pull you out.

The office door opened and out stepped a beautiful woman, her hair was short and black, adorned with a butterfly clip on the side. Her eyes were a beautiful magenta, but you could tell by looking at her that she meant business. Her outfit seemed very business like, a knee length A-line skirt and a white button up with red heels. She looked you over, and you couldn't tell if it was a look of approval or disapproval, but it made you slightly nervous. "So this is her?" She asked, looking over to Ranpo, her eyes scanning over his face as she waited for his response. You didn't like the way she looked at him, the smug smile spreading on her lips as she stared at him a little longer than necessary. "This is her." Ranpo finally said, a hint of pride mixed in with his tone. The jealousy that had been slowly trying to creep it's way in had all but vanished when you heard him say those three simple words. He moved his hand down to intertwine his fingers with yours, giving your hand a soft squeeze to help calm your nerves.

The woman turned on her heel and walked back into the office, not another word spoken, and you could have sworn that you sensed a feeling of agitation emitting from off her. You tried not let her mood affect you too much, even though the look that she had given Ranpo would bother you for a while, especially considering they worked together and saw each other almost every day... was there something there that you had to be worried about? Your stomach sank as your pessimism took control, all of your doubts and fears formed into one. Not even his hand in yours seemed to calm your nerves, and the feeling that was once sexual tension that had been building inside you turned into flat out tension.

You couldn't really focus on all the people in the room, they had their eyes on you, but you couldn't seem to lift your gaze from the ground. "She's just shy, isn't my little cinnamon bun precious?" Ranpo said, the feeling of his thumb brushing along your cheek should have been enough to calm you, but even still, the only thing you could think of was him possibly doing the same to the beautiful bob haired woman. He began his introduction, pointing around the room as he said everyone's names. "Kunikida, Kenjii, Atsushi, Tanizaki, Naomi, Kyouka, Dazai, Fukuzawa, and last but certainly not least, Doctor Yosano." When his hand motioned to her the pit in your stomach only grew larger. He said her name with a sort of devoutness. He had never told you anything about this woman, he had never brought her up to you at all, yet he looked at her with almost the same eyes he would give you after a long day of work, when you were the only person he wanted to see... apparently that wasn't the case though... maybe he had more than one person he adored. "Everyone, this is Y/N." He said your name the same way he said hers, but that didn't make you feel any better. In fact, it made you feel worse. Did he think of you the same way he thought of her, or did he think of her the same way he thought of you? Either way, it didn't seem very good.

"Ranpo-kun, can you come over here for a minute?" Her voice might have seemed seductive to anyone else, but to you it was piercing, like a needle going straight through one ear and out the other. The hardest part to handle was the fact that he obliged, leaving you to stand in the middle of the office so he could walk over to her. She shifted her long, slender legs, folding one over the other and leaned back on the desk she was sitting on. You could tell what she was doing, you had done the same type of pose multiple times at home to try to get Ranpo's attention, and the worst part was that it was working for her just as well as it worked for you.

Your eyes were focused on what was going on across the room, unaware of the man that had been making his way over to you. He tapped your shoulder lightly and you quickly turned around, having to look up to actually see his face. He was obviously a very charming man, and extremely cocky, you could see that in the way that he smiled down at you. "So, you look a little uncomfortable. How about I show you around the office?" You tried to remember the mans name from the ones Ranpo had listed off. Tanizaki? Atsushi? Kunikida? No.... oh, that's right. He was Dazai, the one that Ranpo had warned you about before you had even come here. Apparently he was a flirt and a natural born charmer.

Ranpo had wanted you to try to stay away from Dazai unless he was around, but your emerald eyed boyfriend was currently being held up by the beautiful doctor, so you might as well have a little fun. Of course you would never do anything to actually hurt Ranpo emotionally, you couldn't bear the thought of losing him, but you weren't going to just stand by and watch as Yosano clearly flirted with your boyfriend, whether he noticed it or not.

"Is there anywhere that you'd like to see first?" Dazai asked, leaning against the desk as he stared at you, his eyes shut, a small smile on his lips, his head cocked to the side. You could definitely see now why he was the heartthrob of the Agency.

"The coffee shop... downstairs... i-it smelled really nice. I'd love to have a cup." You said it softly, so soft that nobody else had been able to hear you at all, even Dazai had barely made out what you said, but he heard enough. He nodded and pushed himself away from the desk, wrapping his arm loosely around your waist as he led you to the door. You weren't expecting him to be so touchy, and you weren't sure if this would be considered going to far.

You used the time alone with Dazai to learn more about Ranpo and Yosano's relationship, finding out if it was platonic or if there was something more there. When you finally heard the full story you felt awful for even assuming, and even more awful for thinking that leaving the office upstairs to go with Dazai was a good idea.

Meanwhile, Ranpo had finally finished his conversation with Yosano. She had been talking to him about how cute he and you looked together, and that she wasn't used to seeing someone shorter than him. She was proud of him honestly, that he had found someone that he seemed to be truly in love with. She saw how he would open his phone occasionally while sitting at his desk, and his eyes would open for only a second to read the text, then his eyes would close and a wide smile would spread across his face as he leaned back in his chair. She knew before he had even brought you up that he had found someone, and that someone made him truly happy. That's all she wanted for him, he was like a brother to her, and she believed that he deserved nothing but the best.

He turned around, thinking that he would find you still standing in the middle of the office, or maybe sitting on the couch talking to Naomi or Kyouka, but he saw that you were gone, and not only that, but Dazai was gone too. He didn't want to make a scene, of course not, but thinking of you being anywhere with Dazai had him slightly irritated, maybe even... jealous. He had no reason to be jealous obviously, he knew that you would never actually make a move on Dazai, but it wasn't you that he was worried about. You were shy and soft spoken, if Dazai tried anything on you, you would be too nervous to say anything about it or tell him to stop.

His eyes shot open, flashing his beautiful emerald green irises to everyone in the office. They knew he meant business then, clearing a path for him to the door. He already knew where the two of you had went, he thought it was quite foolish of Dazai to try to even take you out of the office in the first place. First thing, he would know exactly where you were, his ultra deduction wasn't just used for crime cases. Also, you were HIS, so it took some nerve for Dazai to sweep you off somewhere to be alone with him, especially when Ranpo was around. He wasn't exactly angry about it, no, just irritated and he wanted to show everyone in the office that you belonged to him, specifically Dazai.

You were at the little booth in the front of the small cafe, sipping from your coffee cup, trying to avoid Dazai's stare. When you put your cup down his hands immediately moved to capture yours. "Wha- What are you doing?" You stammered out, trying to pull your hands away, but his grip was tight. "You have your doubts about Ranpo, and I'm not going to tell you whether you're right or wrong about them. But I will tell you that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes upon. It would be an honor, a great privilege if you would commit a double suicide with me." His eyes were twinkling, filled with excitement at the possible prospect of having someone to do the fateful dead with him.

"I... uh... uhm... no thank you." You yanked your hands away, and just as you were about to get up you felt a set of strong arms wrap around your waist. You turned your neck to see his green eyes staring into yours, and you couldn't think of anything to say, so you shifted your body in his arms, burying your face in his shoulder. He tsked at Dazai, shaking his head at the man at the table. "I'm not shocked, just disappointed that you would attempt such a thing with MY girlfriend. I know that she is absolutely gorgeous, stunning even, but she is mine. I don't share any of my sweets, her included." His voice was stern, and you could only imagine how he would look. The thought of his face, matching the serious tone in his voice, it had a fire burning deep inside of you.

He led you to the elevator, leaving Dazai at the table in silence. You still didn't know what to say, but Ranpo had an idea of how to make you talk. You had been staring down at your shoes as you waited for the elevator to come down from the top floor, but Ranpo didn't like your silence, not at all. He grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to look at him. "You belong to me, isn't that right my little kitten?" You hummed in response, but that wasn't enough. He shook his head and got closer, his face mere inches from your own. "I want to hear you say it." You were putty in his hands, and you loved when he was domineering like this. It turned you on and he knew it, he knew exactly what he was doing. "I'm your's, Daddy. No one else's." You whispered, and you could have sworn that you heard him moan.

The elevator doors opened and he pushed you inside, slamming his finger into the button repeatedly to close the doors. He pressed the top button, but as soon as the elevator started moving he pushed the emergency stop button. When he turned to look back at you his eyes were lidded, a darker version of the beautiful emerald green. That look alone had you practically dripping, and you were rubbing your thighs together, trying to feel anything, any type of friction. He was leaning in the far corner, watching you with a smirk. "Mmm, Daddy's little kitten is so impatient. Do you need my help?"

He walked over to where you were, moving to stand behind you. You grinded yourself against him as his hands traveled agonizingly slow up your thighs, under the hem of your skirt until he reached your panties. "You're soaking already, has Daddy been keeping you waiting too long?" He was kissing along your neck, biting it occasionally as he toyed with your over sensitive slit making your hips buck into his touch. "Let's see how many times I can make you come before someone saves us, hmm?"

A/N : I WAS SWEATING WHILE WRITING THIS AND I REALLY DO HOPE THAT IT'S GOOD BECAUSE I WAS LIKE "OOOHHHH MY GOSH HOW DOES ONE SERVE SOME GOOD FUCKIN FOOD!!!???" BUT I REALLY DO HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

220 notes · View notes

scalpel-mom-mori · 4 years ago

Text

The Colors of Yukichi Fukuzawa

It was so long ago that only a few even remember it, but at one time, Fukuzawa too was an angry young man.

This was supposed to be funny, I’m sorry. It just kind of turned into angst there at the end, oops.

Based on this post, submitted by Aure. Dedicated to @sword-dad-fukuzawa

Slight AU where Fukuzawa and Mori went to high school together lol. Did I steal Aure’s storytelling POV? Yes I did. Reblogs and comments highly encouraged.

POV you’re modern!smol dazoo from Temple on a Hill that asked Sensei for a bedtime story.

Oh? A story? Well, I don’t have any stories I should really be telling to someone your age. Especially right before bed.

No, I take that back. I do have one. Just one, so it’s the only one I’ll ever tell.

This was at least twenty years ago, maybe more, but I remember it well. I nearly had a heart attack when Yukichi started dyeing his hair. Even at that age, he looked like an old man in some ways, what with that grey hair. Even at this age, he moves like a much younger man, the likes of which I never could approach. He’s just timeless like that.

But that day I couldn’t quite be sure if it was truly Yukichi that I was looking at. He wore his hair in a high ponytail when we were in high school, and he arrived at our usual meeting place with acid green highlights beneath his ponytail.

“They’re hideous,” I told him. He didn’t mind.

It might not seem like it, but Yukichi was an angry man in his youth. He was the sort of person that was angry with the world. To this day, his soul rails against injustice, but he wears a well-respected face.

“You don’t have to like them,” is what he told me. “Where are we having brunch?”

I could have laughed. “You’re not even wearing your uniform today.”

He shrugged. “Why should I tell them who to report me to?”

At this, I really did laugh. “What’s gotten into you?” You know what he’s like these days, with those intense, inscrutable stares. You’re still quite intimidated by him. His eyes were just as intense back then, but they burned with something like passion.

One of these stares he levelled at me. Back then, I was nowhere near as accustomed to those stares. Yukichi doesn’t look at someone he’s speaking to unless he’s very close with them or very displeased. “What does that mean?” The longer you know Yukichi, the less he expresses himself. Back then, anyone walking past would know my friend was upset with me.

“I just thought you liked a nice veneer of respectability,” I said.

The disgust in his face said clearly what his voice did not. Such deception is your forte.

Perhaps it is, but that’s nothing to worry yourself over. I assure you, in our high school days, Yukichi and I were both as fresh and green as any high school boys can be.

“Of course. You look good, if you didn’t look like you were going to go murder someone,” I amended. “How does Chinese sound?”

Yukichi, I will take care to note, was also quite sulky while we were in school.

Though, perhaps all boys are at that age.

Still, he expressed no additional offense besides over the comment about murdering someone.

Over our meal, I found myself amused over how he drank tea like an old man. “Truly, how do you convince me to ditch with you?” I asked.

As if to cover up any face he would have made at me, he picked up his steaming cup and drank. I continued staring at him, long after he set his drink down and began eating.

But Yukichi was as stubborn as he is now. Perhaps even more so.

“You know there’s no longer enough time,” is all he says.

Even then, I knew what he meant. Already in our second year, there would never again be enough time for everything we wanted to do anymore, and Yukichi… well, he already had his career lined up for him. The first part of it, anyway.

I frowned, half-teasing. “Well, I need to study hard to get into the medicine program,” I replied, “and skipping classes doesn’t help that.”

Yukichi’s eyes felt like a whole sky on my chest. “Then go,” he said.

I have to admit, I was rather hurt, but Yukichi was never one to mince words. Nor was he one, in our youth, to speak with much tact. But there was some cunning in that statement. And I let him have it.

“I didn’t mean that,” I told him quickly, “And I know you didn’t either.”

Yukichi’s eyes slid away from me, back to his food.

Yes, he did mean that. If I wanted to, I could leave him to self-destruct under the weight of his future. But he and I both knew that I wouldn’t.

The next time I saw him, the streaks were purple. A rather pleasant shade, too. Rather odd with his particular coloring, but at least it didn’t burn to look at. He’d tied his hair in something of a messy bun, and had a pen sticking out of it, rather like one of those ladies you see painted on silk screens.

“What does the maiden require of me today?” I asked with a mocking bow. Yukichi looked annoyed, but didn’t argue.

“Lunch. You’re paying.” I suppose I brought that one on myself.

I made a face. “You say such things with a straight face,” I complained. “Only if you wear a hairpin.”

However, today, Yukichi had the face to agree without hesitation.

The nerve of him! It vexes me to this day. It certainly didn’t help that he was tall enough that most wouldn’t notice the thing unless they were looking, and no one looks Fukuzawa Yukichi in the eye. Not even back then.

Well, I do, but that’s a different matter altogether.

So we bought a hairpin from a shop that sold trinkets for pocket change. Yukichi somehow kept a straight face when the clerk wished my girlfriend and me a happy relationship. I could barely manage the same. Despite the fact that Yukichi had probably killed a man by this point in life, I couldn’t help but be amused by the thought.

With a perfectly serious expression, he tucked it in his hair and turned to me. “It’s not crooked, is it?”

I pouted, knowing full well that this was his way of asserting, as he did without fail at that time, that he was taller than me by nearly a head. “Well, I can’t tell from this angle.”

So, maintaining his neutral face, he crouched so I could see. This was the last straw. “Oh, the nerve of you! It’s fine!” I shouted, nearing tears. This man was willing to play this far to humiliate me. But, I should have known at the time that Yukichi saw no shame in femininity.

I still had to buy today, and Yukichi decided to thin out my wallet with fast food and the nicest bakery he had the nerve to suggest to me.

Ah, but only for him would I have ever suffered such humiliation. These days, he wouldn’t subject me to them. Only to frown at me disapprovingly, as though he has some moral high ground.

And I suppose he does, these days.

He grew out of being an angry young man.

The last time I saw him before he went underground, he had a shock of red in his bangs. I was well into preparing for premed at the time, and had little energy to argue with him, but something else kept even me from teasing him about the color. In those two years, he’d worn every imaginable color besides red. He hated red, so it was rather curious that he would pick it for his hair. He wore his hair half up to keep it out of his face.

He was dressed in his usual traditional attire, but he carried a sword now. It was Christmas, after we had graduated, and he had aged a decade.

His hair had always made him look older than he was, even now. He looked younger with the splashes of color to soften the grey. But it was his eyes this time. They were tired, and one hand rested lightly on the handle of his weapon the whole walk. We spoke very little, absent of all the teasing we did during school. But, it wasn’t all bad. This was what he wanted anyway. Almost nineteen, and he had a despair in his face that men three times his age rarely knew. Still, we went to that bakery he loved when we were in school. I bought him his favorite pastry from memory, and this seemed to soften the weight in his heart.

Very little was said the whole time we ate.

Yukichi always left abruptly. He does still, as I’m sure you know. Still, there are usually signs. Today, he licked one finger and stood. He was almost out of earshot by the time I had realized what happened. “Keep in touch!” I called after him.

I could have sworn I heard, carried by the wind one word. “Can’t.”

Another two steps, another two footprints between us, and from the half bun on the back of his head, the little flowered hairpin I’d bought him caught the light through the dull snow-grey world.

#bsd mori #bsd fukuzawa #sword dad is best dad #peaches writes #bsd fanfic #platonic zenki skk #boomer soukoku #but like it could be gay #if u want #oh hey look an angst

25 notes · View notes

patchwork-panda · 4 years ago

Text

If A Moment Is All We Are (42/?)

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24121633/chapters/73887387

S1, OP2

“I’m sorry, Kusunoki-kun...”

I shook my head.

“It’s okay, Kunikida-san,” I insisted, turning to the man next to me. “Really.”

I shot him a small, hesitant smile.

“You were uncomfortable and you wanted to leave. I understand.”

But Kunikida didn’t respond.

For a moment, he just kept staring out at the line of trees at the horizon, as if he could see something beyond those thick green groves that no one else could. But then, he turned to me and smiled, and his expression was so uncharacteristically weary that it actually hurt for me to look at him.

Kunikida-san...

I tightened my grip on the bench.

He was so quiet the entire way here. In fact, that apology was the first thing he said to me since we left the tackle shop behind and arrived at Negishi Forest Park.

Something must have happened at that tackle shop before I’d joined the Agency—something awful.

I bit my lip.

I don’t think I’d ever seen him like this before...

“Thank you, Kusunoki-kun,” Kunikida murmured, his beautiful gray-green eyes appearing to focus on me at last.

His expression softened a little as he looked at me, but not so much that I couldn’t see the shadows subtly lengthening under his eyes.

“You’re very kind.”

I wanted to shake my head again, to protest.

‘Kind?’

How was it kind of me to take him to a place that clearly held bad memories for him? A place I’d barely researched before dragging him all the way out to Negishi from the middle of Chinatown?

“I’m sorry... Rokuzou... Sasaki-san...”

I took in the fine lines around my mentor’s eyes—lines that I hadn’t noticed before in the harsh glare of the bright midday sun.

Who were the people whose names he had called? How were they connected to that refurbished tackle shop by the sea?

And why...?

I bit down harder on my lip.

Why did he sound like he was in so much pain when he whispered their names out loud?

I studied my companion, taking in his slightly hunched posture, his faraway gaze.

I should cheer him up. It was the least I could do after what I just put him through...

“H-hey, Kunikida-san?”

The blonde detective perked up a little at the sound of his own name.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and scooted closer.

“Have you... come to this park in the spring before?”

Kunikida looked me.

“No, I don’t think I have,” he said slowly. “Why do you ask?”

“Well...”

I gestured up, at the trees in the distance he’d just been staring at. As I’d looked at them earlier, I’d slowly recognized them as sakura trees and knew that in about a year’s time, their branches were sure to erupt in clouds of pale pink blossoms. It might be a little hard for Kunikida to picture it but I’d sketched enough of these in classes to know what I was talking about.

I looked back at my handsome mentor’s face and smiled.

“This just strikes me as a nice place to go flower-viewing in the spring,” I said, noting the way his sage-colored eyes seemed to brighten behind his thin, rectangular glasses.

I twiddled my fingers in my lap.

“I-if it’s something the rest of the Agency might be interested in,” I suggested, “I could organize a flower-viewing trip to the park next year in March?”

I paused.

“W-what do you think?”

“A company flower-viewing party next spring?” Kunikida mumbled, turning back to look at the scenery ahead.

A tiny smile slowly crept onto his face.

“That sounds nice,” he said, nodding a little as he continued to stare at the trees.

He glanced back at me and that tiny smile widened.

“But I thought we both agreed not to talk about work any more, in case Yosano-sensei somehow hears about it and decides to chop us both in half?”

I blanched.

“Shit, I forgot!”

But as I clapped my hands over my mouth and flushed in embarrassment, mortified that I’d caught myself swearing in front of my crush, Kunikida suddenly tipped his head back and started to laugh.

I stopped trying to cover my face and stared.

“K-Kunikida-san?!”

“Sorry,” Kunikida chuckled, “I was just teasing, Kusunoki-kun. I didn’t mean to laugh at you. It’s just—your face.”

He turned away and covered his mouth with his hand, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you make such a face before. It was just too funny, I couldn’t help myself.”

He let out one final chuckle and leaned back against the bench, crossing his legs in front of him and folding his hands in his lap.

“I’m sorry I was in such a strange mood earlier,” he said, running one hand through his hair as he looked out across the fields. “And I’m sure you have a lot of questions about what happened at the tackle shop and why I reacted the way I did but...”

His expression grew somber.

“I’m not quite ready to talk about these things with you. Not right now anyway. Maybe in the future, when you’ve gotten to know me and Dazai—”

I stiffened.

Dazai? What did he have to do with all this?

“—and the Agency a little better, we’ll be able to discuss it. But for now...”

He smiled softly.

“I want to say thank you,” he said, the look in his eyes radiating warmth and sincerity. “For cheering me up. I really needed that laugh...”

I felt my cheeks grow warm.

“No problem...”

Ah... he’s too brilliant...

I looked away, my cheeks glowing like the setting sun.

It’s hard to look directly at him when he’s smiling like this...!

But as my gaze finally settled on the neatly paved path in front of us, I caught sight of our shadows stretching across the road.

Our very long shadows stretching across the road...

I jerked up to look at the setting sun and gasped.

Oh, no...

I scrambled to my feet, startling Kunikida.

“Kusunoki?”

It was almost five. Almost the end of the official work day at the Agency and the end of my scheduled time together with Kunikida. I knew my mentor well enough to know that the moment the hour was up, he was going to get up from that bench, thank me politely for taking him out for the day and just leave. Probably for whatever location was next on his tightly packed agenda. President Fukuzawa might have ordered Kunikida to not do anything work-related during the day, but that didn’t mean he had to discontinue his evening routine, whatever that might be.

If I was going to confess, I was going to have to do it now, while the mood was still good!

I clenched my hands into fists.

“K-Kunikida-san...!”

Sweat was pouring down the back of my neck. I could feel the collar of my shirt sticking to my skin.

“I...”

Kunikida sat up a little as I struggled to speak.

“I...!”

“Yes...?” Kunikida asked patiently, his sage-green eyes locked on mine.

His lips parted and he spoke his next words in a low, husky whisper.

“What is it, Kusunoki-kun?”

Oh God...

I sagged a little on my feet under the man’s gentle gaze.

I can’t do this...

I slapped my hands over my burning face.

Not while he’s looking at me like that! It’s too much...!

“Are you... feeling alright?” Kunikida asked, his voice now tinged with concern. “Your face is really red.”

“Fine,” I mumbled, slouching forward. “I’m fine. I’m just... a little thirsty. That’s all…”

Spotting a set of vending machines just down the road, I turned towards Kunikida and gestured towards it rigidly.

“C-can I get you anything to drink, Kunikida-san?” I asked abruptly, as my companion blinked at me in surprise. “I’m sure you have a long journey back to your apartment complex later and uh, you know...”

I tried to smile but it felt strained.

“Good to stay hydrated, right?”

“Uh, sure...” Kunikida trailed off, looking at me oddly. “Then... green tea, please. If they have it.”

I nodded quickly.

“Be right back!”

And before he could say another word, I ran off.

Coward. Idiot. Moron.

I banged my head against the vending machine as I waited for the cans of tea to come out.

How could I have chickened out like that?!

How??

Over the past couple of months, I’d been chased down, shot at, blown up, dissected and strangled—not to mention slashed into ribbons by one of the most fearsome Ability Users in the entire country. How the hell had I faced down all of these threats and more, only to come out the other side unable to do something as simple as tell my crush that I liked him?!

I heard an echoing thud and opened my eyes to see that the canned drinks had tumbled into the receptacle by my feet.

I crouched down to pick them up and sighed.

I had to confess and I had to do it today! Who knew when I was going to get an opportunity like this again? Yosano, Kyouka and Atsushi (probably? I wasn’t exactly sure if the tiger boy actually knew what was going on) were all rooting for me. I’d even gone to the trouble of calling Dazai for help...!

I frowned.

Speaking of Dazai...

Why had Kunikida suddenly brought up his bandaged partner? And in the same breath as the fishing tackle store? Did that maniac know something that I didn’t?

Or worse...

I reached inside the receptacle for the first of the two cans.

“You already have everything you need...”

Had Dazai actually given me that hint so that he could sabotage my confession somehow? He was the type to play the long game, after all and I knew just how much he loved a good prank.

But then again...

I took the first can out and set it on the ground.

If that was the case...

Once again, I heard Dazai’s long, drawn-out sigh echoing in my ear.

“ You really want Kunikida-kun to like you, don’t you?” he asked quietly.

I took the second can out and studied its slightly dented surface.

Then why did he always sound so sad whenever he was talking to me about Kunikida-san?

I put my free hand over my face and closed my eyes.

Dazai Osamu...

What was he doing this for? Why was he helping me? Was it really all for the sake of some immeasurably cruel joke?

Or...

“ I know I’ve said and done a lot of things in the past,” Dazai said, his tone uncharacteristically serious. “But I need you to trust me on this one. I don’t lie during negotiations and since you’ve already held up your end of the bargain...”

He paused.

“ I’m all but obligated to help you. So, I’ll ask you again.”

I opened my eyes and stared at the slightly dented can on the ground.

“Kusunoki-kun...”

Was Dazai actually helping me because he genuinely cared about me?

“Do you trust me?”

“ I do,” I whispered aloud.

Rising onto my feet, I took out my cell phone and opened the photos back up.

“Kusunoki-kun... Sometimes things happen that you’re not ready for. Things like developing feelings for someone... But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to act on those feelings.”

I enlarged the first photo.

“Even if you’re not sure it’s right.”

It was possible that I’d gotten Dazai’s meaning all wrong.

I squinted at the pixels on the first image, examining the margins for any sign of bleeding ink from the previous page.

It was entirely possible that he hadn’t meant that I should be using Kunikida’s notebook to figure out how to make him happy...

I finished scrolling through the first image and went to the second one.

... But this was the only thing I had to go off of. And I wasn’t planning to call to ask about it again.

The second image yielded no results, so I went to the third.

I had to trust Dazai. I had to trust that the answers were somehow in my possession already and that it was because of my own blindness and stupidity that I’d missed them the first time.

I briefly lifted my eyes towards the treeline, where the bright orange ball of the sun was now grazing the tops of the deep green foliage.

And I had to trust that I would be able to find them in time in order to make this confession a successful one...

“...Kusunoki-kun?”

I jumped.

I was so focused on frantically searching through the photos for some kind of hint that I didn’t even hear Kunikida’s footsteps approaching from behind.

“ Kunikida- san! ”

I hid my cell phone behind my back and tried not to look suspicious.

“H-hey!” I quipped, all too aware of my twitchy smile and unnaturally stiff posture. “What’re you doing all the way over here?”

“Well,” Kunikida said, stopping just a little bit in front of me. “You were taking a while, so I thought I’d come over to see if everything was okay .”

He grew quiet.

His eyebrows knitted together, his lips turning downwards in a frown.

“ Is everything okay...? Kusunoki- kun? ”

Huh?

“Of course everything’s okay ,” I stammered, blindly trying to stuff my cell phone into my purse before realizing that it was actually hanging in front of me .

What’s with that reaction? Why is Kunikida looking at me like that?

“W-why wouldn’t it be?”

Kunikida’ s frown deepened .

“ Because this is the second time you’ve run off this afternoon,” he said, crossing his arms. “ With that look on your face .”

I stopped fumbling with my cell phone at once.

“ Eh?”

“First,” Kunikida explained, “there was the tea shop. You were looking pretty stressed out right before you ‘went to the bathroom,’ and when you left, you were gone for such a long time that I almost decided to ask the clerk to go and check in on you. But then, when you came back, you seemed to be doing so much better that I decided it was better for me not to ask.”

I felt my mouth drop open a little in surprise.

He... he noticed?

“ But then, you ran off again just now,” Kunikida said, gesturing to the vending machines behind me. “While you were clearly in the middle of trying to say something to me. It actually made me wonder if I’d done something wrong.”

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.

“I thought maybe it was because of what happened at the tackle shop earlier. I started wondering if I should just pull myself together and tell you what happened. But then I realized…”

His gray-green eyes met mine.

“You’ve been stressed out all day, haven’t you?” Kunikida asked.

I was...

The cell phone I was holding behind my back slipped a little in my grasp.

I’d been trying to hide it from him all day, but he’d noticed anyway.

I couldn’t meet his gaze.

“Kusunoki- kun ...”

Kunikida sighed.

“I know that you were given the difficult task of helping me relax today,” he said, “but that shouldn’t come at the cost of your own peace of mind. You know ... ”

He took a step towards me.

“If there’s something bothering you—something besides just the schedule getting thrown off—you can talk to me about it. I’m your—”

He faltered for a moment, a streak of bright pink flooding across his face.

“I’m your mentor,” he said at last, his cheeks flushing redder. “And I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. Anything at all! No matter what it is. So, please...”

He studied my face.

“ L et me help you with it.”

I felt my breath hitch in my throat.

“ Kunikida- san ...”

No matter what it is...?

My cell phone slipped a little further in my hands.

Did he really mean that...?

“ I mean that, you know,” Kunikida said, as if reading my mind.

He took another step towards me.

“ But I can’t do anything if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”

What’s going on...

I parted my lips, the words beginning to form on the tip of my tongue.

Should I tell him?

I looked around the park, at the trees and fields of grass dyed in shades of orange and gold, as if set ablaze in the late-afternoon light. I glanced up at the road, where the last of a group of tourists was gradually making their way past the building in the distance, slowly exiting the grounds.

And finally...

I glanced back at the man in front of me, whose dirty-blonde bangs were blowing gently in the breeze, his thin ponytail flowing behind him like a ribbon made of silk. His gray-green eyes burned in the light of the setting sun.

I swallowed.

Was it really time?

“ Kunikida- san ...”

I took a tiny breath in and steeled myself.

“There... there actually was something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

Kunikida perked up.

“Oh?” he ask ed.

And before I could say another word, he slowly reached into his blazer—

“Alright. In that case...”

—and pulled out his notebook.

I froze.

“What did you want to tell me?” Kunikida asked, taking out his black-and-gold fountain pen and holding it at the ready.

But I could no longer speak . At the sight of that familiar olive-green notebook coming out of Kunikida’s blazer, I abruptly remembered exactly what I was hiding behind my back:

Photographs... of some of the most private pages in Kunikida’s notebook. The notebook he was holding in front of him right now.

My hands shook.

I couldn’t do this. I had no right.

Without thinking about what I was doing, I started backing away.

“ Kusunoki...?”

Lowering his notebook a little, Kunikida stared at me over the top of those lightly-bound pages.

“What are you doing?”

“I can’t...” I whispered, my voice shaking as I spoke. “I can’t tell you...”

Kunikida’s eyes widened.

“What do you mean you can’t?” he asked, suddenly looking shocked.

But I shook my head and kept backing away.

I couldn’t confess to him. I wasn’t qualified to. I never was.

Kunikida’s ideal woman wouldn’t do something as underhanded as what I just did—what I’ve been doing this whole time.

I was never worthy of Kunikida to begin with.

“ I just can’t , okay?” I stammered, squeezing the cell phone behind my back so hard that my hands started to shake .

“ I’m so sorry, Kunikida- san . But I can’t tell you why I’ve been so stressed. Please don’t ask me any more about it.”

“ Why not?!” Kunikida asked.

He sounded genuinely alarmed now.

“Kusunoki—”

I felt my shoe bump into something metallic but I ignored it and kept backing away, my mind fully focused on pressing the right buttons on my phone so that I could delete the photos I had up on my screen.

But I couldn’t see what I was doing.

And I couldn’t see where I was going.

I heard a tiny metallic squeak as the heel of my left shoe pushed against something rounded and smooth. Without thinking, I put my weight down.

Kunikida’s eyes widened.

“ Watch out —!”

He reached out towards me but it was too late. I heard a weird crunching noise coming from beneath my shoe and before I knew what was happening, my leg suddenly shot out from under me.

My phone flew out of my hand.

“Ah—!”

Kunikida rushed towards me, his hand outstretched.

“ Kyou—!”

But I wasn’t looking at him. I was looking at my phone, watching helplessly as the thin, silvery device sailed through the air and away from me. I tried to reach for it but my arms were just too short...

I hit the ground without it.

“ Ow.. .”

Groaning, I sat up a little higher where I fell, wincing as I felt my backside bruising painfully underneath me. When I opened my eyes again, I saw that the bright green can of tea I’d forgotten to pick up earlier—the can I’d just stepped on, causing me to slip and fall—was rolling away from me like a wheel from a car wreck. And as it hit Kunikida’s shoe and came to an abrupt stop in front of him, I saw my cell phone lying face-up on the pavement between us.

Before I could get up and try to take it back, Kunikida stepped forward and scooped it up in his hand.

“ You dropped this ,” he said quietly.

He wasn’t smiling.

“Kunikida-san...”

I stumbled a little as I tried to get to my feet.

“ This isn’t what it looks like.” “Oh?”

Kunikida inclined his head towards the phone in his hand.

He flipped the phone around so that I could see the display. Even from where I was sitting, I could make out the neat penmanship and fine, dark strokes of Kunikida’s handwriting.

“It looks like you were hiding this from me. And that you went through my notebook, took a picture of a very private page and saved it to your phone. And I’m guessing...”

His jaw tightened.

“This isn’t the only one.”

From the way he said it, I got the feeling I didn’t need to answer.

Kunikida sighed.

He closed his notebook with a sharp snap but didn’t put it away. “Then, tell me. What does it look like? Because from here...”

“ Kusunoki... I’m not opposed to showing you things from my notebook if there’s something in it you’re interested in. Like I said, I’m your mentor and I completely understand if you want to see my schedules, plans or ideals, or even just see how I work. But this...!”

At once his expression grew pained.

“ This is what you were hiding from me?” Kunikida asked, his tone tinged with shock and disbelief. “ This is what you were running off to check all day? I don’t understand. Kusunoki...!! ”

He ran his hand through his hair, looking hurt and confused.

“Why were you so interested in these particular pages?”

“ Kunikida- san ...”

I bit my lip.

“You really don’t know...?”

Kunikida shook his head.

“There’s a reason I have the photos of those pages ,” I told him, gradually rising up before his eyes . “ A very good one...”

I slowly got to my feet.

“ Do you remember my very first day at work, Kunikida- san ? When you took me downstairs to get lunch together at the Uzumaki Cafe? You told me that everything there is to know about you —no ...”

I shook my head.

“That everything you consider important about yourself—is written in that little green book.”

I stood before him.

“I kept those photographs because I wanted to study them,” I said, my voice growing stronger as I spoke. “I wanted to know exactly what kind of woman was Kunikida-san’s type... because...”

I swallowed dryly.

“ I wanted to become that woman. What I’m trying to say is...”

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.

“Kunikida- san ...”

I opened them and looked straight ahead into Kunikida Doppo’s beautiful sage-gray eyes.

“I’m in love with you.”

For a moment, there was only silence.

Then, his lips slowly parted. *** (stop playing music here)

“...what?”

“I’m in love with you,” I repeated, my face growing warm at last. “I’ve been in love with you... For a long time now... I...”

I clutched at my chest, twisting and wrinkling the fabric of my shirt.

“I was planning to tell you at the end of the day today, just...”

I bit my lip again.

“ Just not like this...”

I heard Kunikida breathe a sigh.

“Kusunoki...”

“ I’m sorry I kept those pictures of your notebook and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier!” I said in a rush. “It’s just... I didn’t know what else to do.”

I looked away .

“ Kunikida-san...” I mumbled, staring at my feet. “I’ve been in love with you ever since we finished our first case together. When you first saved me at that art gallery, I thought you were amazing. You were so strong and brave and selfless . But then, when I started working at the Agency and you became my mentor, I realized...”

I felt my face burn even hotter under Kunikida’s silent gaze.

“N ot only are you strong and brav e, you’re patient and kind as well. I don’t know how you were able to deal with someone as useless as me, especially considering how often I messed up but...! Then I realized!”

I looked back up at him.

“ Kunikida- san is kind because he cares ...”

I felt my voice breaking.

“And it’s because you care so much that you work so hard. You’re always working so hard, Kunikida-san! For the sake of those around you!”

At those words, Kunikida suddenly twitched.

“I think it’s incredible how you’re always looking to see the good in everyone. Even me... In fact, I think it’s one of the best things about you.”

For some reason, Kunikida was shaking his head, but I pressed on.

“ You’re always helping people, always looking to make this world a better place, one case at a time. And you have. You’ve saved so many people, Kunikida-san...! You’ve saved me—!”

BSD Music 1

“ YOU’RE WRONG!!” Kunikida burst out .

I stopped talking immediately.

“Kunikida- san ...?”

“I said...” Kunikida whispered, his voice cracking as he spoke. “I said you’re wrong. I’m nothing like the man you’ve just described. I’m not...”

He covered his face with one hand, his posture visibly crumpling. Alarmed, I ran to him but h is next words stopped me dead in my tracks .

“ I’m not that incredible at all.”

“ Yes, you are!” I exclaimed, confused and frightened. “Didn’t you hear anything I just said? I’ve wanted to tell you how I felt for such a long time, but I never worked up the nerve—”

“Kusunoki.”

Once again I was struck silent.

Something was wrong. Something was horribly, horribly wrong. I didn’t know what kind of reaction I was expecting after confessing and laying my heart out on the line but it wasn’t this—!

“ I haven’t saved as many people as you think I have ,” Kunikida said quietly, his hand still over his eyes.

“In fact, I’ve failed...”

He gripped his notebook in his hand with my cell phone, his knuckles going white against the stark black lettering. The kanji for “Ideal” shook in his grip.

“... more times than I can count. ”

“Kunikida-san...”

“ Kusunoki- kun .”

Kunikida dropped his hand away from his face.

“Please don’t talk about things you don’t understand. There are so many things that happened before you joined the Agency—”

Like the thing that happened at the tackle shop?

“Things that would make you shrink in horror— things that would make you hate me, if you knew...!”

“ I could never hate you !” I cried, clutching my chest. “ Never! Why don’t you t ell me what happened and then let me decide for myself?”

But Kunikida was shaking his head again.

“ I can’t do that,” he said. “ There’s just too much to say. Too much that I can’t properly explain.”

He lowered his gaze.

“My misdeeds are a weight I must carry on my own . It wouldn’t be right of me to burden you with them.”

“Even if I want to share the load?” I whispered aloud.

Kunikida’s eyes sharpened .

“ You’re a compassionate girl, Kusunoki- kun, ” he said, his eyes softening just a little. “And your kindness is just one of the many qualities that make you well-suited to being a member of the Armed Detective Agency . But you should never—never—offer to carry a load when you don’t understand just how heavy it is.”

He took my cell phone out and held it in front of him, gazing wretchedly at it.

“If you knew the truth about me... about the things I’ve done, the people I’ve hurt...”

He bit his lip and squeezed the cell phone in his hand, anguish written into every feature of his handsome face as he stared at it.

“ I wonder if you would still feel the way you do.”

“ Why...?”

At the sound of my voice, Kunikida looked back up.

“Why do you talk about yourself like this?” I asked, letting my hands drop away from my chest. “Why do you talk about yourself as if you’re a despicable person? I don’t understand...”

I took a step towards him.

“Kunikida-san... what could you have possibly done to make you see yourself in such a way?”

Don’t tell me...

I swallowed uneasily, thinking of his skill with a gun.

Don’t tell me he’s killed before...?

Unfortunately, my thoughts must have shown on my face, because Kunikida took one look at me and backed a step away.

“ Kunikida- san ... Please...”

I took another step forward for Kunikida’s one back.

“No matter what you’ve seen... No matter what you’ve done... I still think you’re a good person. I know you are.”

“You don’t know that, Kusunoki-kun.”

“ Yes, I do!” I cried. “ Because I’ve seen it! You hel ped me rescue Mei- chan and the other kidnapped women. You took me to see Katai- san and shielded me when the apartment nearby suddenly exploded onto the street. You dropped everything in the middle of the day to drive to an abandoned dormitory just for the sake of saving one man’s life!”

I balled my hands into fists.

“Can’t you see?”

Can’t you see yourself the way I see you?

Tears were openly flowing down my cheeks.

“ You were always there for me. You’ve been helping me this whole time. You’ve saved me... O ver and over and over again! Kunikida- san ...! ”

Unclenching my hands, I slowly lifted them up towards the man in front of me.

“ How could I not fall in love with you?”

Following my words, silence fell throughout the park once more.

Kunikida did not answer. He just watched as I stood there before him, my tears doing the rest of the talking for me. Only when I finally lifted my hands back up to my face, to wipe them away, did Kunikida speak at last.

“Is this how you really feel? Kusunoki-kun?”

I stopped wiping my tears just long enough to let out a tiny sniffle.

“Yes.”

I nodded a little.

“Yes, that’s how I really feel.”

Kunikida’s mouth flattened into a thin line. He grew quiet once more and I could tell by the look in his gray-green eyes that he was clearly thinking about something. Then, he sighed.

“I see.”

He stared at his notebook for a moment, then gazed back up at me.

“I’m sorry, Kusunoki-kun.”

Eh...?

“But if that’s how you really feel about me...”

His expression wavered, his eyes searching mine.

“Then I can’t accept your feelings.”

Insert song: Blind to You

What...?

“ Here.”

He tossed my cell phone back to me .

“ I’m not going to ask you how you got those photos. Nor will I ask how long you’ve had them either. But I will ask that you delete them.”

“ W-wait,” I stammered. “ Kunikida- san— ”

“ Those pictures,” Kunikida cut me off, “are from a notebook I haven’t used in a long time— a notebook that I keep in my locker at work because it is full and can no longer be used for combat or for other purposes .”

I stiffened.

“ What?”

“In other words,” Kunikida said, “I wrote that list a long time ago. Long before you came to the Agency.”

He paused to look down at his notebook once more.

“ A lot of things have happened since then,” h e continued. “ Enough to make me question both the list and my values. I’ve been told before that the list was...”

His expression became strained.

“‘Too much...’ to use Sasaki -san’s words exactly. And after she passed— ”

I twitched.

That name again...

“—I couldn’t bring myself to look at these pages the same way again.”

He studied me.

“ I don’t think any of our coworkers are aware of the things I’ve just told you,” he said quietly. “ So I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d gotten some of your ideas from them or if they actually corroborated them . But I am disappointed...”

He sighed.

“I wish you could’ve just talked to me about things and tried to get to know me normally instead of doing—”

He gestured in the air.

“ This . All this sneaking around behind my back... It’s not like you, Kusunoki- kun .”

I flinched. Being physically struck would have hurt less.

“I actually had fun today, you know,” Kunikida mumbled . “And I get the feeling that if you hadn’t been worrying over this list and trying to make everything as perfect as possible, then maybe...”

He ran his hand through his hair one more time, his gaze lingering on the dented can of tea that had rolled to a stop by his foot.

He sighed again.

“ I just have one final question for you.”

“ What is it?” I asked quietly, my phone feeling heavy in my hands.

“ Tell me,” Kunikida whispered, dropping his hand at last.

His expression was pained.

“When you were planning to tell me about the photos?”

When...?

“I...” I started.

When would have been the right time to tell him? I’d have to come clean after we got together. It wouldn’t sit right with me, otherwise.

But when?

After our first date? No. That was too soon. He’d be hurt and betrayed, just like he was today. Enough that he would end things right there. But what if I waited a few years, after we’d really gotten comfortable with each other?

I bit my lip.

No, wait... What if things went further than that? What if we got married? Would it be best to tell him before we were engaged or wait until after the ceremony? Would he leave me at the alter or forgive me eventually? But what if I waited too long or decided never to tell him?

How long was I willing to keep the secret?

I pictured transferring the photos from device to device. Keeping printouts in a shoebox in the closet while I fed our first child in the kitchen. Taking the secret with me to the grave as an old woman, lying on the truth hidden just underneath my mattress.

But then I realized...

A single, heavy tear rolled down my cheek.

I’d rather kill myself than choose a lifetime of hiding the truth from the man I loved.

I hung my head.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “But I would. I would have told you before things had gotten too far.”

Kunikida nodded.

“I think so, too,” he admitted, glancing down at the notebook in his hand.

He turned away from me and faced the path ahead, his gray-green eyes fixed upon the exit and his profile bathed in the dull orange glow of the setting sun.

“Thank you for telling me the truth, Kusunoki-kun,” he said.

He brought his hand up to his face to readjust his glasses.

“I appreciate that we were able to talk a little.”

His expression growing somber, he dropped his hand and shot a quiet look over his shoulder at me, not quite smiling but not quite frowning either.

“Let’s just keep what happened today between us,” he said softly, “due to the nature of our workplace relationship. I’m flattered and I appreciate your feelings for me, but...”

He looked away.

“I’m afraid I cannot return them.”

Stuffing one hand into his pocket, Kunikida turned away from the sunset and began walking away.

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Kusunoki-kun. Don’t stay out too late.”

No...

I stood frozen behind him, staring after his tall, broad-shouldered figure as he headed for the gates in the distance.

It wasn’t supposed to go this way...!

I clutched at the phone in my grip.

I had to do something. I had to find some way to make this right! I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I just let Kunikida go like this—!

And as my gaze fell upon his bare hand slowly trailing after him as he moved, I thought of a solution.

A stupid, desperate solution.

My Ability.

I ran after him.

“Kunikida-san, wait..!!”

I reached out my hand.

I knew there was no taking back what had just happened, no fixing anything that had happened in the past... but what about the future?

I gritted my teeth as Kunikida’s hand swung backwards towards mine.

If I could just see what lay ahead, find a path forward, through this mess, then perhaps one day, I could still make Kunikida mine...?

My fingertips were just millimeters away from the man’s bare skin.

I’d used my Ability to change the future before. So, why not now? Why not make the change that I desperately needed the most? Why not change my future and his for the happy ending I craved more than anything else?

Almost there...

I braced myself for the pull.

Just a little further...!

But just as his hand was almost in my grasp, Kunikida abruptly turned around and spotted me.

“KUSUNOKI!!”

I stopped reaching for him at once.

“What are you doing?” Kunikida whispered, his gray eyes wide with shock.

He jerked his hand away from mine with a sharp snap.

“I already gave you my answer,” he said, tucking both his hands away.

I felt my heart sink.

He knew...

“This needs to stop.”

He knew what I was doing—what I was about to do...

I felt my knees start to wobble and shake.

“Go home, Kusunoki-kun,” Kunikida sighed, his expression every bit as weary as his voice. “You’ve done enough.”

He turned back towards the road.

“You’ve done more than enough.”

And as he picked up his feet and walked away one final time, I felt my legs crumple underneath me. My cell phone hit the pavement right next to my knees.

“Kunikida-san...”

My vision blurred and swam and I could only watch helplessly through a curtain of tears as the tall, blonde detective walked further and further away from me and disappeared down the road.

It’s over...

“What have I done...?” I whispered as the tears continued to leak out of the corners of my eyes.

I really never was worthy of Kunikida Doppo to begin with.

And before I could stop it, a sudden sob burst from my mouth; I covered my face with my hands and cried into my open palms, my cell phone lying forgotten at my side.

And I’d just proved it...

How could I have done this?

How could I have tried to use my Ability on the man I loved?!

I could hear the trees rustling in the wind, the air around me in the park growing colder as the sun disappeared over the horizon at last. But I didn’t move from my spot. I just kept sitting there on my legs, sobbing as the day turned into night. Hating myself and hating everything I’d done.

Was I really willing to override his wishes—what he explicitly told me—in order to gain his affections?!

I sniffled loudly as the wind began to pick up.

“ I’m the worst. The worst...! ”

***(Stop music here)

And as the chill of the night breeze slowly began to fade at last, I finally wiped at my eyes and took my hands away from my face. I stared at the cell phone on the ground, which had fallen face-up once again, the image clearly visible on the scuffed-up screen that of a page from Kunikida’s notebook.

The kanji displayed showed Trait Number Seventeen: “Honesty.”

I picked it up.

“Honesty, huh?” I mumbled to myself.

I clicked a few buttons and hit “delete.” But another image of the notebook popped up instead.

I sighed heavily.

If I really did love Kunikida, then I should do what he asked: delete all of the images associated with his notebook and go home.

I clicked a few more buttons.

When all of the images of Kunikida’s notebook had been deleted at last, I closed the app and went to the maps. But just as I was about to look up directions to my apartment from here, my phone suddenly buzzed to life with an incoming call.

I blinked at the screen.

“Yosano-sensei?”

Confused, I hit “accept.”

“H-hello?”

“Kyou-chan!”

Yosano’s voice was cheery; I could hear people moving about in the background behind her. Was she still at the Agency? A restaurant maybe?

“So...?” she drawled, a hint of a tease sneaking into her voice. “How did it go? Hope I’m not interrupting anything right now...”

“No.”

I let my gaze drop to the patch of dirt on the front of my skirt.

“You’re not.”

“Huh? Kyou-chan...?”

Yosano sounded confused.

“Why do you sound so glum?”

I heard her breath hitch over the phone.

“Wait, don’t tell me—”

“I messed up,” I mumbled, still staring at the patch of dirt.

There was a small rip hidden in this part of the fabric, but it didn’t really matter. Even if the skirt had been completely whole and clean, because of the memories, I still wouldn’t be able to wear it again after today.

“I did something that I shouldn’t have,” I told her, picking at the rip on my skirt.

The fabric began to wrinkle and fray.

“ Something terrible. And now...”

I sucked in a tiny, shaky breath, unwilling to let myself cry in front of another member of the Agency today .

“Now there’s no way he’ll return my feelings any more.”

“Oh, Kyou- chan... ” Yosano breathed .

I thought I heard the clinking of a mug against a table.

“ And here I thought this would work out perfectly,” she mumbled, her tone at once both pensive and disappointed.

“It was one of Dazai’s better ideas after all, and we all know just what happens whenever he’s the one making the plans…”

**https://youtu.be/_4nESyjxjIM?t=194

I stopped breathing.

“What...?”

“ Aha...” Yosano’s chuckle was weak. “You heard that, didn’t you?”

I had.

She sighed.

“ Okay, I’ll just come right out with it,” she said. “Last week, when President Fukuzawa called both me and Dazai into his office to talk, I had no idea what he wanted. We rarely work together and even when there is an assignment that specifically requires both me and him, it’s usually something involving the entire Agency. Which is why I only understood when the President brought up Kunikida...”

I brought the phone closer to my ear as she continued speaking.

“You see, it is true that Kunikida hasn’t taken a break in some time. Furthermore, his last several assignments have really taken it out of him. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

I nodded, feeling my pulse quickening as I listened to Yosano’s words.

“ So of course, we realized the man needed a break . The question was, how to enforce it .”

Above me, the street lamps began to flicker on, one by one, as the sun finally finished dipping below the horizon.

“That’s when Dazai suggested that you tag along with him.”

I felt my grip tightening around my phone.

“ Did he... say why?”

“No, but I don’t think he had to. I thought it was a great idea, myself, so as soon as the meeting ended, I went to find you.”

“I see...”

I trailed off, my gaze lingering on the path ahead as the park steadily grew darker around me. A cold wind began to blow through the trees.

“ Ah, Kyou- chan? ” Yosano inquired. “Where exactly are you right now? If you’re not feeling so well, I can come get you and we can maybe talk a little at my place—”

“No, that’s okay, Yosano- sensei ,” I told her.

I slowly got to my feet.

“I... actually have somewhere I need to go. I’ll see you at work tomorrow, okay?”

“A-are you sure?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, turning towards the exit. “Don’t worry about me, sensei . I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, then.”

Yosano sounded doubtful.

“Good night, Kyou- chan .”

“Good night.”

I hung up the phone and stuffed it into my purse. Then, I walked down the path, exited the park and headed for the train station.

Dazai Osamu.

I stared at the tiny, glass name plate before me, the deep, black lettering still clearly visible beneath the reflected shine of the bright, full moon.

It had taken nearly two full hours for me to get here from the train station in Negishi—two hours in which I wandered through Yokohama in a fog, replaying my conversation with Yosano over and over again in my head...

It was Dazai who suggested I accompany Kunikida on his day off.

Dazai, who sent me those notebook pages back when he learned about my crush.

Dazai, who told me I already had everything I needed when I called him on the phone earlier today...

I kept staring at the name plate next to the door.

This was his fault.

I didn’t know how or why but it had to be.

How else could things have gone this badly, if not thanks to the hidden orchestrations of his half-bandaged hand?

A sudden burst of canned laughter came from a room several doors down and I winced. Even though I knew it was probably just the Tanizaki siblings watching a little early evening television, some small, irrational part of me still wondered if the laughter was directed at me.

I went back to staring at the door in front of me, the silence emanating from beyond that thin slab of wood washing over me like a thick, oppressive fog.

What was Dazai doing in there?

Reading comics? Playing video games?

I frowned.

No, it was far too quiet for him to be doing either of those things. Whenever he was goofing off at work, he’d almost always do it in the loudest, most obnoxious way possible—whatever was likely to gain him the most attention from whoever happened to be nearby. Of course, this usually ended in him getting yelled at or even body-slammed by Kunikida...

I felt my fingers tightening around my bag as I thought once more of the tall, blonde detective—the man who had just rejected me.

Clenching my jaw, I raised my fist to the door and knocked.

“Dazai-san?”

But no one answered.

I felt my eyebrows knitting together.

“Hey, Dazai-san?” I called a little louder, knocking more forcefully. “Are you in there?”

But as I looked to the window, I realized that the curtains were drawn and the lights were all off.

Maybe he wasn’t home right now...?

But no sooner had the thought crossed my mind than I heard something clattering around inside. Like the clunking of something heavy against a floor or table.

My mouth flattened into a line.

So he was home.

“I can hear you in there, you know,” I snapped, banging on the door. “Open the door, Dazai! I need to talk to—”

The door abruptly swung inwards.

“—you.”

I felt my breath catch in my throat.

“Ohh! Is that you, Kyou-chan?” a merry voice called from inside the darkened hallway.

A single, pale hand latched onto the metal door frame and slowly pulled its owner forward.

“What brings you to my humble abode in the middle of the night?”

“Dazai..!”

I brought my fingers to my lips, my eyes widening as I beheld the man now standing in the doorway.

“What...”

I took a step backwards, dropping my purse.

“What were you doing in there?” I whispered.

Dazai blinked at me, his normally sharp, inquisitive gaze looking oddly dulled and unfocused.

One side of his dark, tousled hair was sticking up the wrong way, like he’d been lying down moments before getting up and answering the door. His black vest was missing and his bolo tie was in complete disarray. Some of the bandages were coming loose from around his skinny neck and as I followed the swaths of tightly bound fabric down the front of his chest (just how far down did they go?), I saw that half the buttons of his thin, striped shirt were completely undone. And as I let my gaze travel further down his form, past his pale, wrinkled slacks, I spotted his tan trench coat, lying in a heap just beyond the open door.

That’s when I noticed the smell...

“Well...”

Dazai grinned and shifted a little so that he was leaning against the door frame. He crossed one bandaged arm over his chest and lifted the other into the air, a tiny porcelain sake cup held firmly in his left hand.

“What does it look like I was doing?” he asked, raising it to his lips.

“You were drinking...?” I stammered.

My eyes darted to the pitch-black rooms beyond his foyer.

“Alone? In the dark?”

“Bingo!” Dazai chirped, toasting me with the cup. “That’s correct! One point to you, Kyou-chan. But minus one point for answering in the form of a question.”

He drained the remaining liquid inside in one gulp.

“This isn’t a quiz show, you know.”

I had no words.

“So?” Dazai quipped, pausing to take a massive bottle of sake out from behind his front door and pouring himself another round. “Now that I’ve answered your question, it’s time for you to answer mine.”

He set the empty bottle down outside.

“What brings you here to my apartment in the middle of the night?” he asked, studying me over the rim of his tiny cup. “Are you here to join me in a celebratory drink? Or maybe...”

His grin widened into a lopsided smirk.

“You’ve changed your mind and you’re actually here to confess your feelings to me, instead?”

I froze.

“Just kidding,” Dazai chuckled, raising the cup to his lips once more. “If you were gonna do that, I might as well invite you in and ask you to commit double suicide with me—”

“You...”

Sensing my tone, Dazai paused mid-sip.

“Was that your game this whole time?” I whispered, my voice shaking.

I could feel my hands balling into fists as I spoke.

“Was that why you messed up my chances with Kunikida-san? Because you wanted that badly for me to join you in that double suicide?!”

Dazai frowned.

“Kyou-chan,” he said, lowering his cup slightly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Can you explain—”

“Oh, like you really don’t know?” I retorted, my eyes flashing. “Don’t give me that bullshit. You knew! You knew exactly what was going to happen when I finally confessed! That’s why you sent me those photographs of Kunikida-san’s notebook that day at the Agency. That’s why you insisted I go along with him on today’s assignment! That’s why—!”

My voice broke.

“That’s why you told me I ‘already had everything I needed!’ Because you knew! You knew everything that was going to happen from the very beginning and you—!”

Tears poured down my cheeks.

“You arranged for it—!”

I raised my open palm into the air and Dazai’s eyes grew wide.

“All because you wanted me to go along with your sick aspiration—!” I cried, bringing my hand back and preparing to swing.

How long had I dreamed about this moment?

How many times had I envisioned wiping that stupid smirk off of Dazai Osamu’s face? Cutting off those smart remarks, those aggravating taunts, all with one well-deserved slap across the cheek?

I must have pictured this moment at least half a dozen times while I was still sitting on the train, the dark, vengeful aura gathering around me like a miasma thick enough to ward off both children and adults alike.

But as I took a step forward, my open palm raised and held at the ready, I saw the look in his clear, brown eyes.

And as I watched, the tall, bandaged brunette tossed his empty sake cup backwards over his shoulder, tucked his hands into his pockets and waited.

Dazai...

I faltered.

He... he wasn’t going to dodge it?

My lower lip quivered.

Why not...?

Distantly, I thought back to the way Dazai had looked at me when he’d lied about Mrs. Yamazaki’s death. His eyes had been somber and dull with guilt back then, the bright amber tones of his warm brown eyes rapidly fading to dun as he looked at me and accepted my rage.

But tonight...

I felt my hand lowering by itself, all momentum lost.

Tonight, I was standing before a drunken man whose gaze betrayed no hint of fear or regret or shame.

No.

Tonight, I was looking at a Dazai Osamu who knew as well as I did that he had been wrongfully accused...

My hand fell limply at my side as I beheld his disheveled form, the bandages started to unravel from around his neck and left wrist.

...and yet he was willing to accept the punishment anyway.

“Dazai... san...”

I couldn’t do it.

I let out a dry sob.

I couldn’t hit a man who looked like he’d lost all will to live.

“DAZAI—!!”

Insert Song: "Saving Us"

And before I could think about what I was doing, I launched myself forward—

“Kyou—?!” Dazai squawked, his mouth falling open in shock. “Wait—!”

—and threw myself into his arms.

“Wait a minute—!!”

His words ended in a sharp gasp as I wrapped my arms around his neck, the forward momentum of my sudden rush knocking all the air out of his thin, wiry body. As we sailed through the open door of his darkened apartment and crashed onto the hardwood floor below, I thought I heard the sound of muffled cheering from the television down the hall.

“Dazai...!” I sobbed, thick, salty tears leaking out of my eyes and soaking into the thin, wrinkled fabric of his open dress shirt.

“Dazai...!!”

As I lay there on top of him, crying quietly into his warm, bandaged chest, I felt him slowly stir. It took me a moment to realize that the soft, sporadic tremors wracking his body was a wave of laughter.

I loosened my hold just enough to look at him.

“Dazai?”

“Ahh, how hard did I hit my head just now?” Dazai mused, gazing down at me with undisguised warmth. “Is this a dream? Or a hallucination?”

His eyes were a little unfocused.

“But what a wonderful hallucination this is!”

His cheeks grew flushed and his beautiful amber eyes seemed to glow even in the dim, yellow light of the lamps from the hall.

“My adorable little Kyou-chan... My sweet, Camellia blossom... All dressed up and coming over in the middle of the night—just to cling to me!”

His thin, bandaged arms slowly wrapped around my shoulders and waist.

“Lying on top of me, no less.”

He sighed and closed his eyes.

“If this is a dream, don’t wake me up...”

His arms tightened around me.

“Ah...”

He sighed again.

“Please, don’t wake me up...”

“Dazai...”

I sniffled a little and tightened my grip around his neck.

“He rejected me, Dazai... Kunikida-san, he—!”

A fresh wave of hot, bitter tears surged forth and I sucked in another small, shaky breath to try to calm myself.

“He told me that he couldn’t accept—that he couldn’t return my feelings for him! Why, Dazai, why?!” I whimpered, burying my face in his chest. “What did you do?!”

But even as I spoke the words, I knew that there was nothing I could accuse him of.

This wasn’t Dazai’s fault.

It never was.

It was mine.

I was the one who had overstepped my boundaries. I was the one who’d kept the photos and tried to use my Ability on the man I loved.

I was the one who was “No Longer Human.”

“Kyou-chan..."

I felt a hand, large, warm and comforting, descend on top of my head.

“I didn’t do anything, Kyou-chan,” Dazai murmured.

He began stroking my hair.

“It wouldn’t have been right. I may have dreamed of committing the perfect double suicide for years now, but I would never try to trick or force a woman into doing it with me. In fact...”

His hand traveled from my hair to my cheek.

“I think that would actually count as a murder-suicide. And I would certainly kill myself before I hurt you, Kyou-chan.”

Dazai smiled.

“You know that, right?”

“You—you’re drunk,” I hiccuped, smiling in spite of myself. “You’re crazy and you’re drunk.”

“And so I am, Kyou-chan,” Dazai breathed. “So I am. But, then again...”

He smirked.

“I’m not the one who came barging into a drunk man’s home in the middle of the night in order to commit assault.”

“It’s seven thirty,” I mumbled. “And this isn’t an assault.”

“You could make it one, if you really wanted,” Dazai teased, his brown eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Hard pass.”

“Aww...”

Dazai laughed and without meaning to, I started laughing too. But as I lay there in his arms, I suddenly thought of my other mentor, the man whose arms I’d wanted so badly to be in that I’d deliberately chosen to lie to him. The breath I was about to take abruptly changed into a dry sob.

“Oh, Kyou-chan.”

And as Dazai’s bandaged arms slowly tightened around me once more, I buried my face into his cotton shirt and broke down at last, the sound of my sobs echoing around us in the dark, narrow hallway of Dazai’s apartment.

“There, there,” Dazai murmured, soothingly rubbing my back. “I’m here. Let it all out. There’s a good girl.”

“I loved him, Dazai,” I hiccuped, choking on the salty taste of my own tears. “I really, really did.”

“I know. I know...”

And as I lay there in the hallway, crying into the bandaged brunette’s shoulder, breathing in the sharp, sweet, heady scent of convenience store sake, I felt Dazai shift ever so slightly underneath me.

“Looks like you finally fell into my arms,” he chuckled. “This isn’t exactly what I was hoping for but, hey...”

He sighed.

“I’ll take it.”

I looked up to see him staring up at the sky, his deep brown eyes reflecting the light of the full, shining moon as it shone down on us from the open door.

“Dazai?”

Dazai smiled.

“Stay as long as you like, Kyou-chan,” he whispered, bringing one hand to my face and wiping away my tears.

His expression softened.

“Even when you’re crying, you’re still oh-so-cute... my sweet Camellia blossom.”

I nodded and as I lay in Dazai’s arms, sniffling and trembling as waves of emotion over took me, I could feel him rubbing my back.

“I’ll be here...”

#dazai x oc #kunikida x oc #if a moment is all we are #fanfiction #bsd

2 notes · View notes

writing-radionoises · 5 years ago

Text

acceptance

ship: none, mostly yosano & ranpo platonic stuff with background ranpoe

genre: hurt/comfort

prompt: yosano never believed she was worthy to be ranpo’s sister.

notes: welcome to my circus tonight we’re talking about how much i love them

“You and Ranpo are pretty close, right?” Atsushi says, sitting on the examination table in Yosano’s office.

She had been checking in on a sprained ankle Atsushi had gotten yesterday, which had healed over nicely thanks to the tiger’s abilities.

“Yes, we’re very close,” Yosano replied, back against the counter as she scribbled down notes on a paper.

“Are you guys dating?”

Akiko laughs, nodding a no, “I think I’d actually kill him within a minute if we were dating.”

Atsushi quirks an eyebrow, “Then… Is it a brother-sister relationship, or are you guys just friends?”

“Hmm, well…” She answered, lifting up her head, “It’s complicated.”

It’s really not.

Yosano knows well what Ranpo considers them.

She’d love to call herself his sister, given if she had deserved the title.

Ranpo deserves a much better sister than her.

“You’re confusing me,” replied the silver haired boy with a frown.

“Sorry, Nakajima,” Yosano answered with a smile, “In short, Ranpo and I grew up together. If you really wanna know more, you should ask Ranpo himself.”

Atsushi nods, hopping off the table and beginning to make his way out of the office.

Akiko sighs.

One of these days, she’ll do something good, and feel worthy to call herself Ranpo’s sister.

“You seriously don’t know how the train system works?” Yosano asked, raising an eyebrow at the boy beside her.

“Yup!” Ranpo replied, enthusiastically.

“You’re thirteen years old!”

“Mhmm!”

Yosano sighed, head in her hands as she nodded a no.

“Fine, I’ll take you there.”

Ranpo only smiles in response, and Yosano takes his hand into hers as they walk down the streets.

Yosano does not know Yokohama very well, she has only been in this city for about a year. Though, Ranpo doesn’t really, either. They make frequent stops by maps, Yosano struggling to read them at her height and having to have Ranpo hold her up to see properly.

It’s a pretty summer afternoon, there are kids their age out and about at candy stores, parks, and coffee shops. Yosano can only look at them in sadness, because she has never gotten to experience that sort of thing.

Her entire life, she’s been used for her ability. She never got to be a kid, make friends and laugh in the summer.

“Akiko-chan,” Ranpo says, nudging Yosano as she looked away from the children and back to Ranpo.

“Hm?”

“You look sad.”

“I’m not,” Yosano insists, “Just…”

“You’re sad,” Ranpo replied, stopping dead in his tracks.

“Ranpo,” Yosano whined, “Come on, we gotta get to the train station!”

“Doesn’t matter anymore! I’ll disregard the case entirely, I’ll even call in!” Ranpo insisted, “Imouto-chan comes first!”

“I told you not to call me that,” Akiko sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Why not?” Replied the brunette, “You’re my little sister, I can address you as such.”

“Well, then I’ll start calling you oniisan,” she answered with a huff.

“I’d like that!” He replied with a smile, and Yosano only blushed and sighed as Ranpo ruffled her hair.

“You’re insufferable.”

“Well, my insufferability seems to take your mind off of sadness,” Ranpo answered, bouncing on the heels of his feet as he spoke, “So I’ll keep being insufferable!”

Yosano smiled.

It’s late at night, and Yosano can’t sleep.

She lays wide awake in her dark bedroom, staring up at the ceiling and trying not to blink, because everything she closes her eyes, she’s back on the battle ground.

She’s eleven years old and wearing that stupid nurse uniform and watching soliders roll in one after another, each injury worse than the last. Missing legs, missing arms, partial decapitation, anything and everything.

It’s horrifying.

She just keeps healing them and they just keep coming back.

Yosano sits up in bed, biting her lip and trying to regulate her breathing once again.

It’s not the first night she’s been sleepless, it’s happened many times, but it’s the first time she’s had the option to ask for help.

Ranpo’s bed is across the room, him sleeping soundly with the blankets all kicked off of him and his back facing Yosano.

He said that Yosano can wake him up at any time if she needs anything…

But she feels guilty. Yosano doesn’t want to disrupt his sleep because of her own problems.

As if on cue, Ranpo awakes. He sits up, stretching his arms above his head as he rubs his eyes, turning around to grab his glasses.

“Hey, why are you awake?” He asks after putting on his glasses, looking at Yosano.

“I, um…” Yosano stuttered, struggling to put her thoughts into words.

“Can’t sleep?”

She nods.

Ranpo makes grabby hands at her, “Come here.”

Yosano does as told, standing up from her bed and grabbing her pillow as she moves over to Ranpo’s bed, sitting beside him.

“Stand here, I’ll be back,” Ranpo continues, standing up from the bed and proceeding to leave the room.

Yosano places her pillow next to Ranpo’s against the wall as she stares down at her white pajamas, shifting awkwardly.

Ranpo returns to the room with a glass of water and a book under his arm. setting the glass of water on his bedside stand and switching on the lamp as he sat down beside Yosano, showing her the book in his hands.

It was a simple book, messily bound with leather, the words on the front nearly impossible to read outside of the author’s name.

“What’s this?” Yosano asked, raising a brow.

“A mystery novel,” Ranpo replied with a smile, “A short one, at least. It was given to me from an American pen pal of mine, I ended up binding it into a book because Fukuzawa used to read it to me to sleep.”

Yosano nodded along, curiously, “And you want to share it with me? Really?”

Ranpo nods happily, “Yes, why wouldn’t I? You’re my sister, you’re family now.”

Yosano snuggled up against Ranpo’s side as he opened the book and began to read, readjusting his glasses.

Ranpo is lounging on the stairs to the agency, a lollipop in mouth as Yosano sits beside him, the box of lollipops in her hands as she sucks on her own.

It’s a hot day outside, and Fukuzawa has kicked them out because he has a meeting.

Ranpo has shorts and a baggy tank top on, his hat on Yosano instead of himself.

Yosano, on the other hand, has a skort and short sleeve blouse on.

They’re fifteen now, having known each other for four years now. Ranpo still calls her imouto-chan, introducing Akiko as his sister to just about everyone. Yosano has since given up on fighting it, because in reality, there’s no fighting Ranpo Edogawa.

He’s going to insist they’re siblings until the day he dies.

Even then, he’ll probably put “Yosano Akiko is my sister” on his grave, he’s that stubborn.

“Akiko-chan,” Ranpo says, sitting up from his lounging spot, “We should do something.”

“Like what?” She asks, raising an eyebrow as she props her head up on her hand.

“I don’t know, what do normal teenagers do?”

“Get ice cream or like walk to the convenience store? I don’t know, you’re the only other teenager I’ve really met.”

Ranpo smiles, “We’ve gotta get you more friends.”

“Do I really need anymore?” Yosano replied, tilting her head, “You’re the only person I really care about.”

“It’s okay to care about more than one person, Akiko-chan,” Ranpo insists, frowning, “I’m not gonna leave you if you do make other friends.”

“I know,” Akiko says with a smile, “But making friends is hard.”

“We’ll figure something out,” Ranpo answered, leaving back against the stairs, “You know, I’m not good at making friends, either.”

“Really? You seem so friendly.”

“People think I’m weird,” he continues, “I don’t really know why. Fukuzawa-san noticed, though, and decided to set me up with a penpal. It was nice.”

“What was your penpal’s name?” Yosano asked.

“Edgar Allan Poe,” Ranpo answered, “He’s from America, writes a lot of mystery novels and poems. He’s two years older than me, one of these days we’re gonna actually meet up.”

Yosano smiles, “That sounds nice.”

“He’s really nice, honestly,” Ranpo explained, “Always wanted to call him, but he told me that he has a speaking problem. We text now, though.”

“I’d like to meet him,” Akiko responds.

“Maybe I’ll take you to America with me.”

Akiko laughs a little bit, Ranpo shifting and laying his head on Yosano’s shoulder.

“There you are, oniisan,” Akiko says, walking over to Ranpo’s place at the coffee shop table and setting a file on the table for him, a chocolate bar on top of the file.

“Hey, you called me oniisan!” Ranpo exclaimed enthusiastically, beginning to shake his left hand happily as Yosano nodded.

“Mhmm, took me fourteen years, but I finally did,” she says.

“I’m proud of you!” Edogawa continues, “You’ve come so far, I’m so proud of you!”

Akiko can’t help but smile, taking Ranpo into a half hug and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“It’s only thanks to your help, Edogawa.”

#bsd #bsd yosano #bsd akiko #yosano akiko #akiko yosano #ranpo #Edogawa Ranpo #bsd ranpo #ranpo edogawa #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanfiction #writing #writer #writers

25 notes · View notes

missromantic-x · 5 years ago

Text

Dazai x Happiness Week Day 3: Birthday Party

(Part 3 of the Birthday Masquerade series) The Agency most certainly had not limited their decorations to the coffee shop. Heck, even the buildings next to it and the sidewalk in front of it were coated in glitter. Dazai rolled his eyes. He placed his hand on the handle, but the touch was light. Was he really in the mood for this? The whole Guild incident had only ended about a week prior, surely they’d understand if he didn’t want to go… He squinted at the windows, but they were too covered in sparkles and ribbons to see through them. He scrunched up his nose, shut his eyes, and prepared himself for the walk home. But as he turned away from the door, his gut screamed at him not to. He couldn’t turn back now, not when he had already bought a costume. (Although, that experience in itself hadn’t been half bad…) Before he could change his mind again, he twisted the doorknob. Click! The lights flicked on the second his second foot made its way inside the shop. “Happy birthday!” He put on a smile, the most difficult costume piece for this masquerade, but by far the most necessary. If he looked like he was happy, then the others could be. They’d know they’d have had a job well done. Noisemakers blared, and confetti bombs exploded around him. Atsushi was the first to leave from his hiding place, a space under the second table, and present a gift. He could tell it was him through the tiger-eared mask, after all, who else had Dazai met that had choppy silver bangs and golden eyes? “I know you told us not to celebrate, but I had to do something,” he explained. “It’s thanks to you I’m not starving on the streets.” The rest of the Agency began to move toward him as the second newest member gave his speech. “You gave me the greatest gift someone could ever give: a second chance at life. So, this party is one that celebrates the time you’ve had to help people like me during your own second chance,” the weretiger explained, smiling at him. Kyouka clasped her hands politely at his side, nodding along with his statement. The sequins on her shiny red mask glinted in the light as her head moved. Dazai’s smile grew more genuine. He really had done those things, hadn’t he? A tall blonde man in the jeweled Carnivale-themed half mask, obviously Kunikida, handed over his own gift stiffly. “I’ll give you this, Dazai: when you’re not interrupting my schedule, you’re a very good partner.” And when Kunikida wasn’t trying to break Dazai’s arm, that was a very agreeable statement. Naomi and Junichiro, dressed in matching blue, together added their presents to the growing stack. “It never feels like a boring day at work when you’re around,” the two laughed. He’d hoped so, after all, the Agency was the place he got to live out the teenage years he never had. At some points, the Tanizakis seemed closer in age to him than some of the older members did, thanks to that. “You buy me the good candy,” mumbled Ranpo. A lollipop on his tongue moved with his lips. “And you brought me two more patients,” Yosano added, the bracelets on her costume jingling as she moved. “If you were in my town, we’d give you an honorary citizenship there!” grinned Kenji, balancing a chair on his little finger. “You’ve been a very important member to the Agency. We wouldn’t be where we are today without your exceptional abilities,” Fukuzawa wrapped up their praise. Dazai bowed. “Thanks everyone, that’s nice of you to say.” Were all of those things true? Had his presence on the Agency really been that good? “Well then, let’s open gifts!” exclaimed Kenji, interrupting his thought. What could they have gotten him, Dazai wondered. Would any have as much sentiment attached to it as his mask would? It was worth seeing. “Open mine first,” commanded Ranpo. “Shush, let him pick!” Kunikida snapped back. “Fine.” Atsushi bit his lip. “Ah, let’s just get along, okay?” Dazai ignored the chatter, his gaze transfixed on the gifts. He began to tear the paper off of a small box, letting the ribbons atop it fall to the floor. In the first one was a pair of slippers and a coffee mug. “Thass mine,” claimed Ranpo, munching on a chocolate bar. “Thanks.” He moved on to the next one. A hand-woven straw hat? “We use those in the good farming season. That’s why I always wear mine, because every day’s a good day!” rationalized Kenji. It was honestly enjoyable just watching Kenji’s endless optimism. That kid could find the good in any situation. Next gift. A letter, with nice calligraphy. Within reading the first sentence, he knew it was from Tanizaki. His writing style was an interesting one. After that came a stuffed animal fox. “Bunny rabbits make me happy,” was all Kyouka said. From Yosano was a pocket-size medical kit. “Since my ability doesn’t work on you, it’s good to have this.” From Fukuzawa, green tea powder. “For the good omen I got when you joined.” From Atsushi, a beautiful picture frame with a photo from Kyouka’s Welcome To the Agency Party of the whole group. Dazai breathed in deeply, memories of the last group photo he’d been in circling through his brain. Lastly was a custom-made notebook from Kunikida. On the first page were some instructions, but he didn’t read them. As he placed the book aside, the blonde man stiffened. “Ahem, if you’d mind, I’d like to meet with you sometime this week to go over what I put on that page so you can get a better understanding of the gift.” Wait, was he seriously taking time out of his schedule to spend time with himself, Dazai O-hecking-samu, to give a gift its full potential? It must be the apocalypse. “Alright, now the real fun starts now!” Yosano cried, and the rest of the group cheered. A strange feeling swirled in Dazai’s chest. Those gifts and had come from people he’d barely realized he’d touched. That was enough to make him happy for the time being. He’d worry about the past later. Right now, he was going to enjoy himself!

#DazaixHappinessWeek2k19

10 notes · View notes

inner-dreamscape · 5 years ago

Link

Slender fingers plucked the taunt strings, wavering the vibrations with gentle brushes of the finger tips. The sound that came forth was a gentle and soothing melody. The hand movements were strong and elegant, confident in their playing, everything their master was not. If one were to look upon the master’s face, they would not think him capable of such beautiful music.

Chuuya could watch Dazai’s hands for hours if he were to play as long. But he forced his eyes closed to better absorb the singing notes. Like taking a dip in a cold refreshing mountain lake, he could feel his temper being seduced into nothing. The hostile energy that sometimes consumed his body was being suppressed by something as simple as the guqin.

Chuuya, every few days, would join his sister Kouyou in the meditation room as she played her guqin, Golden Demon. She would use that time to guide him into a more milder temper. Not a lot of people from their Sect could play the guqin, and none so skilled as Kouyou. She was famous in their region for it as well as her cultivation skills. She would host some recitals for their guests but more often than not, play for the towns folk and Port Sect disciples.

She tried teaching Chuuya how to play, thinking if the sound could help him simmer down then what would playing it achieve? His ever-present rage and impatience didn’t translate well in the guqin’s gentle language. The notes were sharp and shrill, rough and on the edge of breaking. He was better suited to the dizi then he was to the zither.

As they grew older, and Kouyou left more and more to become honored guests at other Sects to practice her cultivation, Chuuya was left to handle his own rage. Playing the dizi only did so much and the calming tone just didn’t match that of the zither, especially if he was the one to produce the sound. So in taking his complaints, Kouyou asked the favor of one of her favored hosts to borrow their skilled guqin player.

Yosano agreed, and within a week, Kouyou had Dazai Osamu perfect the song – Sound of Lucidity. Now, every few days, Dazai would visit the Nakahara Sect to help quell Chuuya’s rage. Though this wasn’t always the case. The first few weeks brought a hinderance in the form of their child rivalry. Instead of suppressing the rage, seeing Dazai only built it up even more that when Dazai did manage to play, it wasn’t very effective.

They had both gone to the Fukuzawa Sect to learn cultivation as children. The Sect known by that of a wolf had a teacher that could turn any student into a promising cultivator no matter how meager the student was in the arts. Dazai, having been there longer, was one of the prized students along with his brother, Edogawa Ranpoe. It didn’t take long for Chuuya and Dazai to meet and decide within one second that they hated each other. Thus the famous rivalry developed on that day, only to be upstaged by another a few years later.

After hearing Dazai play once fully, and experiencing how No Longer Human could easily and superiorly suppress the calamity god Arahabaki trapped within him, Chuuya no longer put up too much of a protest. He even started to look forward to their little meetings.

Under the Port Sect leader’s suggestion, and Kouyou’s urging, they even began to cultivate together, forming the infamous feared duo, Soukoku. It the was perfect arrangement and Dazai the perfect partner for Chuuya. During battles, should Chuuya’s affliction ever become stimulated by the blood and death encountered, Dazai simply had to pull out No Longer Human, and in a few notes the god would be docile again.

As the last note faded away, Chuuya came out from his thoughts. Dazai sat there, hands still poised over the silent strings, staring at him. The stare was intense, as if he was making sure that the guqin still worked after so many past successes.

To make sure that Chuuya was still irrevocably Chuuya.

With a huff, Chuuya stood from his spot.

“Let’s go Mackeral.”

Dazai did as he was told, placing No Longer Human back in it’s rightful place and followed his short partner out of the field of corpses.

–

Sister – not blood related but by their sect., They’re part of the same cultivating Sect.

Brother – in this case is still not related, but by being once upon a time in the same Sect.

Another – shin soukoku

Guqin- A plucked 7 string Chinese instrument in the zither family. It’s what the musician in the video is playing.

Dizi- A Chinese traverse flute. Its played horizontal instead of vertical.

Zither- A class of stringed instruments.

No longer human is dazai’s guqin as Golden Demon is Kouyou’s. Chuuya’s dizi is For the Tainted Sorrow, of course.

Got inspired by this song and by Mo Dao Zu Shi (you should go check this out)

#Mo Dao Zu Shi AU crossover #founder of demonic cultivation #guqin #dazai plays the guqin for chuuya #soukoku #BSD #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #chaosia writes #double black #dazai x chuuya #ozaki kouyou #yosano akiko #kousano #fukuzawa yukichi #edogawa ranpo

2 notes · View notes

livesoffcoco · 8 years ago

Text

So with the release of the first The Last Jedi trailer, I was thinking “What would it be like if the Bungou Stray Dogs world was actually in the Star Wars Universe”. So here goes my thoughts. I’m pretty proud of myself. It got kind of long though haha. If anyone wants to add any characters or add onto the already established characters go ahead.

Dazai Osamu

Became a Sith Lord at a very young age under the tutelage of his master Mori Ougai. He is extremely gifted in mental manipulation and hypnosis through the Force, not being a big fighter with his lightsaber or hand to hand combat. Just like Mori, Dazai is gifted when it comes to strategy, having helped Mori take over dozens of planets. However, he becomes disillusioned with the Sith and defects with the help of a hired mercenary who had also been a part of the rebellion against the Sith empire, Oda Sakunosuke. That causes to be disastrous for Odasaku for as they are running away, Odasaku is killed. Because of this, Dazai walks the middle line and becomes a grey Jedi.

Mori Ougai

The head of the Sith empire, Mori takes his job very seriously even though it sometimes appears otherwise. People have called him the epitome of evil; which he enjoys quite a bit. Just like his padawan Dazai, Mori leans towards strategy over physical fights. However unlike Dazai, Mori is very talented with his lightsaber.

Nakahara Chuuya

Padawan to his master Kouyou Ozaki, Chuuya is unrivaled in hand to hand combat throughout the galaxy. HIs over powering Force energy helps quite a bit, throwing people off from his small size. He likes to beat the shit out of Dazai when he gets the chance. When Dazai leaves, Chuuya is quite upset at first considering they grew up in the temple together, but he then uses that energy and anger to become a better Sith Lord.

Oda Sakunosuke

Odasaku, as Dazai came to call him, was a mercenary for hire. He traveled across the universe earning money by taking out hits on senators and the like. He was rivaled by none when it came to shooting a blaster. However, he despised fighting and violence. When he met Dazai, he saw something in the younger male that he had not seen before. The two became close friends in secrete since Dazai had to sneak out of the temple to meet with him. When he helped Dazai escape to the rebellion, Odasaku was killed.

Fukuzawa Yukichi

Fukuzawa was a Jedi Knight before Order 66. When that was playing out, he was able to escape with his word, Ranpo Edogawa, a rising scholar. Once hidden away, he was contacted by the rebellion which he promptly joined. Because of that, he became sort of a figure head that actually ended up recruiting many more rebels for the cause.

Atsushi Nakajima

An orphan “born” on Tatooine, Atsushi meets a fleeing Dazai Osamu when he goes to flee from his own home. Dazai takes a liking to him because he can also feel the immense Force pressure within Atsushi. From there, the two of them end up with the rebellion. Atsushi is trained by Dazai. The “Jedi” is surprised to find out that Dazai had been a part of the rumored Sith. However Atsushi becomes strong and goes against a new rising Sith, Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

Kunikida Doppo

Kunikida was a scholar at the Jedi temple before Order 66. When that was taking place, he was saved considering he was not a Jedi himself. However, as the Sith Empire became stronger and stronger, so much so that it was interfering with his research, Kunikida fled and ended up with the rebellion where sometimes he regrets his decision when he has to deal with Dazai (who he does not know is a Sith. No one wants to tell Kunikida yet)

#star wars au #alternate universe star wars #bungou stray dogs headcanons #kunikida doppo #akutagawa ryunosuke #atsushi nakajima #yukichi fukuzawa #oda sakunosuke #nakahara chuuya #Mori Ougai #dazai osamu #long post #bungou stray dogs

13 notes · View notes

patchwork-panda · 4 years ago

Text

If A Moment Is All We Are (29/?)

AO3 link HERE

“Combat training?” I repeated as Kunikida nodded.

“Yeah. I heard about your last run-in with Akutagawa and well...”

He rubbed his neck again, looking awkward.

“Honestly, I’m relieved,” he said, “that you made it out alive. There are few who’ve met him and escaped and now you’ve done so twice. That was impressive. However...”

His jaw tensed and I instantly felt my heart sink as I recalled the words I’d said to Akutagawa back in the flaming wreckage of the garage.

“I’d rather die than be captured by the likes of you.”

I bit my lip.

Kunikida must’ve read the report, which meant he knew what I’d almost done. That was probably why he wanted to wait until we were alone to talk about it...

“And if I’m going down...”

I could still see Akutagawa’s steely gray eyes narrowing, still sense the smooth plastic of the car ignition underneath my index finger... still feel the cold, hard determination coursing through my veins as I lay in the wreckage of President Tanaka’s car, prepared to blow us both up.

“...I’m taking you with me.”

Kunikida looked up and without meaning to, I drew back.

“You were still seriously hurt,” he said at last, his voice low. “And if Dazai-san hadn’t brought you back to see Yosano-sensei in time...”

His expression grew solemn.

“You would have died...”

He grew quiet and as the silence filled the room, I felt a sudden flush of shame and embarrassment creep up the back of my neck.

Idiot.

I was a fool to think for even a moment that Kunikida had called me here to deliver the confession I’d been wanting to give him several years down the line.

What was I thinking?

It was such a far-fetched fantasy. There was no way Kunikida would confess to me first, much less reciprocate my feelings...

Kunikida sighed.

“I understand running into Akutagawa was...”

He paused to think.

“Unexpected,” he said at last. “But that’s why I wanted to talk to you about combat training.”

Kunikida’s gray-green eyes swept over me.

“I read your report, so I know you were trying to be careful. I know you only ran off to catch the bomber because your Ability had shown you exactly where she was going to be and that you worked carefully to avoid injury.”

His expression softened.

“I’m... glad. That you listened to me. I’m glad you took me seriously when I told you to take better care of yourself. I really can’t say it was entirely your fault you ran into trouble back there, but I do think it would’ve been a good idea to tell someone in the Agency, like your case partner, of your plans. Which brings me to my point...”

He gestured to the folders I’d been putting away at my work station.

“You’re going to be getting more and more solo assignments in the future,” he said, taking out his pen as well. “I trust you’ll call for backup in the future, should you need it—”

I felt a sudden stab of guilt.

“—but there will be moments where you’ll inevitably need to fend for yourself. And we won’t know when those moments will occur.”

Kunikida smiled at me then and I felt my heart flutter in my chest.

“Well, I suppose you might, if you’re anything like Atsushi-kun and your Ability ends up becoming more and more powerful. But let’s say it doesn’t happen very quickly or at all.”

I nodded, wondering if someday I really would have such power.

“I think it would be a good idea for you to learn some basic self-defense or martial arts skills.”

He got into a sort of kung fu stance that I thought I’d seen in a movie once and glanced back at me as he demonstrated. I tried to keep my eyes on his face instead of the way his clothes stretched over his musculature. My heart kept beating faster.

He has really nice arms...

“We can start with teaching you how to properly dodge, throw a punch or get out of a choke hold. You know, that sort of thing.”

He glanced back at me and I tore my eyes away from his biceps.

“President Fukuzawa was the one who taught me martial arts,” he said, a note of pride sneaking into his voice. “And I passed down what he taught me to Atsushi when he first joined. If you’re interested in learning from me as well...”

Kunikida’s smile shone bright.

“I would be happy to train you. One-on-one.”

His smile suddenly faltered a little and at once, he looked away. His cheeks were tinged with pink.

“I-if you’re okay with it, that is.”

I brought my fingers up to my lips.

“Kunikida-san...”

One-on-one training with my tall, handsome mentor?

How could I possibly say no?!

“I mean, we don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with it,” he elaborated, looking oddly flustered. “I could ask President Fukuzawa to train you instead if you’d rather have someone better--”

“I’d love to.”

He stopped talking immediately. He blinked.

“Huh...?”

“I’d love to have you as my teacher,” I replied, warmth flooding into my chest.

I smiled and bowed low.

“Please take care of me, Kunikida-san...”

��O-of course.”

When I straightened back up, I saw that he was adjusting his glasses, his face hidden by the pages of his olive-green notebook. He looked like he was rapidly flipping through the pages.

“In that case, do you think you’d be able to start tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?”

I pulled out my phone to check my schedule. Not much on there, but even if I did have a meeting or two, I’d move everything around just to be able to spend a little more time with Kunikida.

“Yes, I think so,” I said, putting it down. “What time?”

“Come to the training room at seven,” Kunikida answered, jotting the lesson down in his schedule.

He put the notebook back into his vest and smiled.

“I’ll be waiting for you.”

***

Training with Kunikida...!

I could hardly keep the smile off my face.

And from the sound of it, this was only going to be the first of many sessions...

I let out a long, drawn-out sigh, feeling like I was floating three feet off the ground as I drifted through the hallway.

Okay, sure. So neither of us had confessed our feelings to the other in the soft orange glow of the Agency office at sunset, but I was going to be getting training from Kunikida Doppo, the man who was both my mentor and my crush!

“I would be happy to train you. One-on-one.”

I barely managed to stifle an excited squeal.

Alone time with Kunikida...! He would be the first person I saw when I came to the office tomorrow morning and he’d be the first person I interacted with every other morning I had a training session as well.

I let out another happy sigh as I pictured us growing closer together over the course of the next several weeks, or however long these training sessions were going to last. Would we become close enough to the point where he’d one day feel comfortable calling me “Kyou?”

“Kyou...”

My cheeks grew warm as I imagined his deep, resonant voice calling out my first name, the look in his gray-green eyes as he turned his handsome face towards me, the way he would smile when he heard me calling him by his first name as well.

Ahh... if only that day could come soon...!

Even though I didn’t have my earbuds in, it felt like there was music playing all around me. I started humming under my breath as I reached into my bag and flipped out my phone.

I’d be meeting Kunikida at the training room on the first floor at seven. That meant I’d have to set my alarm so I could get up an hour earlier than usual...

Wait.

I stopped short and stared at the open memo on my phone.

Would I have enough time to make myself look decently presentable with only an extra hour to prepare? And what was I supposed to wear when I got there? It didn’t make sense to show up in my work clothes when he was going to be teaching me how to fight, so should I be wearing gym clothes and carry my work clothes in a bag?

And what about makeup? I wanted to make myself look cute for him (I always wanted to look my best around him!) but would he see it as appropriate for me to be wearing my usual light makeup? Or would he see it as me being frivolous and impractical when I was probably going to sweat it all off?

I felt the smile slowly sliding off my face as I thought about all the things I needed to do tonight to get ready for tomorrow.

I’d have to stop by a clothing store to get some new gym clothes (my old ones were really ratty and probably smelled bad), maybe go by a convenience store so I could buy some breakfast for tomorrow morning—oh, I should probably buy Kunikida some coffee too, to help wake him up and to thank him for doing all this extra work for me—

“Kusunoki-kuuuun—!”

I let out a shriek as someone suddenly popped out of a doorway on my left. That shriek immediately turned into a cry of frustration when I saw who it was.

Of course it would be Dazai. Who else?

“I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you leaving earlier,” I mumbled under my breath. “What are you doing here? Why were you hiding behind that door?”

“You were thinking about me?” Dazai gasped, ignoring everything else I’d said and latching onto that one statement. “Ahh~ I was thinking about you too, Kusunoki-kun! Were you waiting long for me? Did you want to go out for dinner perhaps? Or drinks? Or maybe we could—”

“If I said no to dinner with Yosano-sensei,” I deadpanned, side-stepping him before he could reach out and grab my hand, “what makes you think I’d say yes to you? And before you finish that sentence, the answer is no. I’m not joining you in a double suicide.”

His face fell.

“Always so cold, Kusunoki-kun!” he whined, looking injured as I brushed past him without so much as a second glance. “I was just asking if you wanted to spend some time together. I mean...”

He stuck his hands in his pockets and walked alongside me as I made my way to the stairs, easily keeping up with my hurried pace because of his long strides.

“You’re going to be spending plenty of time together with Kunikiiiida-kun in the future,” he said, stopping me in my tracks.

I turned to face him.

Dazai smiled.

“So why not spend a little time with me as well? I mean, I’m your mentor too, right?”

“You were listening in?” I asked, gripping my bag. “Again?”

“No, it was just a guess,” Dazai said, his grin widening as I scowled at him. “But I was right, wasn’t I?”

He scooted closer, looking for all intents and purposes like an overly excited puppy.

“So, so? Did you confess?” he asked, his brown eyes sparkling with excitement. “No, wait! Don’t tell me.”

He gasped dramatically, covering his mouth with his hands.

“Did Kunikida-kun confess to you? I mean, he’s the one who called you to the office after work when nobody else was going to be around right??”

“That’s not what happened!” I exclaimed, shoving my hands over his mouth. “And you need to stop talking so loudly! Kunikida-san is still here, you know! He stayed behind at the office to finish up some work so if you could just—”

“Oh, ish he mow?”

Peeling my hands away, Dazai walked past me, making a beeline for the office.

“Perfect. Thanks, I actually wanted to talk to him about something.”

“Didn’t you hear what I just said?” I cried, going after him. “He’s busy right now! And it’s after hours. Can’t you do this some other—?”

“I mean, if you’ve changed your mind and you’d rather go get dinner with me—”

“That’s not what I said.”

I stopped walking and sighed.

“Oh, never mind. Just go.”

I brought my hands up to my head and started rubbing my temples to stave off an oncoming headache.

They’re partners, so Kunikida’s probably used to this by now...

“Just go, huh?”

Dazai’s voice was quiet. Uncharacteristically so.

I let my hands drop away from my head and looked up to see Dazai standing there before me, in the middle of the hallway with his half-bandaged hands tucked into the pockets of his sand colored trench coat. For a moment, he was still and stood there studying me with an unreadable look in his deep brown eyes. He cocked his head to the side a little as he looked at me, his bangs falling just so about his eyes.

And as I watched, the corners of his lips twitched upwards into a smile... a smile that looked oddly wistful for the perpetually grinning Dazai.

“Sure thing,” he said quietly, his smile growing slowly wider.

“Kusunoki-kun.”

I fell silent.

“Dazai-san...?”

What... what was that...?

He laughed a little, a bright and happy sound that didn’t quite fit the look in his eyes earlier.

“Why don’t you go home now?” he asked, turning his back to me and heading for the main office. “You’ve got a long day coming up tomorrow and I think you could use the rest.”

He waved to me as he continued walking away.

“I’ll see you around.”

And with that, he opened the door to the Agency office and went in without giving me a second glance. The sound of the door shutting behind him seemed oddly final.

For a moment, I just stood there, staring down the hall at the spot where he’d just been as the light slowly and surely faded away from the fourth floor.

“Dazai...?”

As the sound of muffled voices floated towards me from behind the closed door, I gripped my bag and turned to go. I wasn’t like Dazai, so it wasn’t like I was going to stay and listen in. Whatever business they had with each other was none of my concern...

But as I reached the stairwell, I stopped short and shot one last glance down the hall towards the office.

Why was Dazai looking at me like that earlier?

“Is everything alright?”

The empty, darkened hallway did not respond.

***

Okay... Five minutes to seven...

Taking a deep breath in, I tucked my cell phone back into my pocket and knocked on the door. The reply came immediately.

“Come in.”

Warmth flooded into my chest at the sound of that familiar deep voice, my pulse already racing as I thought about what lay ahead.

Calm down, Kyou.

Kunikida said he was going to be here waiting for me and he was. There was nothing to get excited over, he was just keeping a promise he’d made to me yesterday and he was here early because he was a professional.

It wasn’t because he was looking forward to this as much as I was...

But my heart only beat faster as I gripped the knob and turned it, carefully pushing my way into the room past a surprisingly heavy door.

There was no reason for me to worry about oversleeping and missing the training session. I’d been so excited about this morning that I’d practically jumped out of bed the instant my alarm went off. I was so energized by the thought of spending almost a full hour alone with Kunikida that I hardly needed the can of coffee I’d bought at the convenience store this morning.

Trying (and failing) to keep the stupid grin off my face, I headed into the room, taking a brief moment to look around at the polished wooden floors and freshly painted walls. I never would’ve guessed that just opposite the Uzumaki Cafe, with its pretty stained glass windows and warm, comforting atmosphere, was a fully furnished training room.

I passed a stack of gym mats and a collection of wing chun dummies and headed for the front of the room, which was marked by a large, framed piece of calligraphy. Pitch-black ink curled and looped across the parchment to form a single phrase: “If you have an honest mind, everywhere is a dojo.”

And sitting quietly, just below that sign... was a tall, seated figure.

I felt my heart literally skip a beat.

Kunikida-san...

He was wearing a plain white martial arts gi, with a black cloth belt tied loosely around his waist and no shoes on his feet. As usual, his long blonde hair was tied back into a low ponytail at the base of his neck and it wound down his back between his shoulder blades like a thin river of gold. Bright morning sunlight streamed in all around us and I realized that the closer I got to him, the more it felt like I was holding my breath.

He looked so dignified sitting there like that, with eyes closed and legs crossed, his palms resting gently on the tops of his thighs. I watched as he took a deep breath in, his broad chest rising and then falling slightly as he exhaled, his glasses slipping just a fraction down the bridge of his nose.

I felt a small smile tugging at my cheeks as I saw that, wanting nothing more than to push those glasses back up for him—

“Kusunoki.”

I jumped. The contents of the plastic bag in my hand jangled noisily as I moved and I suddenly wished I hadn’t chosen canned coffee to bring to Kunikida this morning.

He’d spoken without opening his eyes.

“Y-yes?” I squeaked.

“Put that down.”

I dropped the bag.

“And come here.”

I swallowed.

“Okay.”

Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I bowed slightly, forgetting that he couldn’t see me and shuffled forward.

“Closer.”

A flush crept up the back of my neck and I shuffled forward a little more.

“Closer.”

I obeyed and kept moving forward until I was standing right next to him.

“Good. Now sit.”

I sat.

A tiny smile crossed Kunikida’s face and seeing it, I felt my heart skip another beat.

“I want you to close your eyes,” he said, “and take a deep breath in. Slowly... good... Hold it for four seconds and slowly breathe back out, counting four seconds again.”

He was meditating, I realized as I closed my eyes and did what I was told.

That’s why he was here earlier. Did he start every morning with meditation?

Or...

“Keep going,” he said gently. “Focus on your breathing and just your breathing, okay? We’re going to do this for five minutes.”

Was he doing this because he could tell I was a little nervous?

Warmth flowed through me and I felt my smile returning as I settled in next to him and tried to focus on my breathing. Silence settled in around us like a soft, comforting blanket and I could feel myself nodding off, my tiredness from the night before finally starting to catch up with me. My head dropped lower and lower towards my chest, a jumble of memories and sensations rising to the surface of my mind into the beginnings of a waking dream...

“Just go, huh?”

I jerked up, my head snapping back harder than I expected and I winced as I heard Kunikida stir next to me. One gray-green eye opened and peered out at me from behind those thin, rectangular frames.

“Falling asleep?”

“N-no!” I lied, flushing in shame. “I mean... yes. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. One minute left, okay?”

I nodded, realizing a little too late that he’d closed his eyes again and couldn’t see me any more.

“Okay.”

I closed my eyes too and tried to clear my head, but it wasn’t working any more.

I just kept seeing Dazai’s tall, trench-coat clad figure strolling down that empty, darkened hallway... alone.

I sighed.

The truth was, I felt kind of uneasy after my encounter with Dazai last night. Although I tried to put it out of my head as much as I could, I couldn’t help but wonder what it was he wanted to talk to Kunikida about. Why did he want to wait until everyone had left the office to talk? And why wouldn’t he look at me as he left?

Was I just being paranoid...?

Or...

Was I missing something? Something important?

Next to me, Kunikida sighed. I jerked my head towards him, another apology ready to go when I realized he was just breathing out, releasing one last long, steady stream of air between his lips as the meditation session came to an end. I shut my mouth and stayed quiet, suddenly feeling strangely guilty as I looked at him.

“There. That was pretty relaxing, wasn’t it?” Kunikida asked, turning to me with a soft smile.

“Y-yes,” I stammered, my heart pounding just a little faster at the sight of that smile. “It was...”

He nodded slightly, looking pleased, and slowly got to his feet.

“Thanks for coming early,” Kunikida said, his gray-green eyes warm. “It’s always nice to have an enthusiastic pupil to teach. Really nice, considering how things at the Agency usually are...”

“O-of course,” I stammered, my tongue suddenly feeling thick and clumsy in my mouth. “Thank you for offering to train me. I—I really appreciate it.”

“Oh, it’s really nothing,” Kunikida replied, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away. “I just thought, as your mentor, I should...”

He cleared his throat abruptly and trailed off.

“A-anyway, have you ever taken any self-defense classes before, Kusunoki-kun?”

I shook my head and my neck cracked a little as I moved.

Apparently, I was in worse shape than I thought...

Not hearing the cracking noise, Kunikida nodded a little, seemingly deep in thought.

“I see...”

His gray-green eyes swept over me, his eyebrows knitting together as he spoke.

“Your Ability isn’t very useful for combat but unfortunately, like many others who possess information-gathering Abilities, you’ve had to defend yourself from being kidnapped or attacked. Based on what happened after your last encounter with Aktuagawa, I suspect the Port Mafia won’t go after you in the near future. However...”

His jaw tightened and I saw his expression darken in the bright morning light.

“There’s no telling who might target you in the future if your Ability grows more and more powerful. In fact, we should probably consider issuing you a gun in the near future, before you start taking any assignments that may require you to go out at night—”

“A gun?!” I squawked, backing away from him abruptly. “W-wait a minute, Kunikida-san! I thought today was—”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Kunikida said in a rush. “That’s not going to be happening right away. Like I said before, today we’re just going to go over some basics! However, please keep in mind that we are the Armed Detective Agency. In our line of work, combat seems almost unavoidable at times and so most of our members carry a weapon of some kind; there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have one as well.”

He grew quiet, his gray-green eyes downcast.

“Besides... I’d hate for something to happen to you when I could’ve...”

His lips were moving but I couldn’t hear what he was saying.

My breath hitched in my throat.

“...Kunikida-san?”

At the sound of my voice, he twitched—jerking up so that his back was ramrod straight and I took another step back away from him as he turned around and let out what sounded like a violent series of coughs. He looked really red and I could feel my pulse pounding in my ears as he turned back around. He was standing there with the most flustered look on his face I’d ever seen...

“Um...?”

I could barely hear myself talking over the sound of my heart beating in my ears.

What was he going to say?!

“A-Are you okay—?”

“L-let’s get started, shall we?” Kunikida exclaimed, his voice strangely loud.

His face was still very red.

“Why don’t we work on dodging first? I think that’s a good place to start!”

“That sounds good!” I agreed, nodding vigorously. “How should we do this?”

“Ah, well, I can’t expect you to know how to dodge properly unless I show you first,” Kunikida said, the color not fading from his cheeks in the least. “So why don’t you throw a punch at me first and I’ll explain what I’m doing as we go?”

My jaw dropped.

“Hit you?!”

I waved my hands in front of me and shook my head.

“N-no!! I can’t hit you! Kunikida-san, you’re my—my—”

Oh God.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to calm myself down.

What was I getting all tongue-tied for now?! And why did I have to blush?!

“You’re my mentor,” I choked out at last as Kunikida somehow flushed darker, “I can’t just—!”

“Please don’t worry about that, Kusunoki-kun!” Kunikida said in a rush, “I can take it. I mean—! I don’t think you’re going to be able to land a hit on me. Wait, no that’s not what I meant—!”

He slapped a hand over his face and groaned as I suddenly felt the strongest urge to grab one of the canned coffees I’d gotten at the convenience store and knock myself out with it.

“I know you know how to dodge,” Kunikida said at last, his voice muffled.

He still hadn’t taken his hands away from his face. His ears were now the color of fresh beets.

“If you didn’t, Akutagawa would have captured you the first time for sure. The fact that you were able to evade him twice means that you have good instincts and on some level, you knew exactly what you were doing when you avoided his attacks.”

The color fading from his ears, he took his hands away from his face at last and finally glanced back over at me.

“We’re just going to take what you know already and refine it a little. Hopefully, if this goes well, you’ll leave here after a few sessions being able to dodge anything that comes your way. So...”

He took a deep breath, then stepped back and got into a fighting stance.

“If you’re ready, I want you to try to hit me.”

Swallowing a little, I mirrored his stance.

“O-okay. Then...”

I drew back my fist, intending to copy a move I’d seen in a ninja anime recently.

“Here I go.”

For the next few minutes, I tried to hit Kunikida. Either punching or kicking or swiping at him, whatever I could think of. At first it was a little hard trying to get close to him (I did still have a massive crush on him, after all) but as he calmly side-stepped hit after hit, not dropping his guard for even the briefest of moments, I started to relax. Soon, I’d gotten used to the idea of just being that close to him and the heat building in my face had less to do with embarrassment or flustered and more with the amount of exercise I was getting.

“Okay, and we’re going to stop there.”

The color had faded a little from Kunikida’s face and he was smiling slightly as he dropped his fists and addressed me.

“We’ll work on your attacks later but for now, I want you to try doing what I was doing. Let’s switch places and this time, I’ll try to hit you. Don’t worry, I’ll go slow.”

And as promised, he did.

I managed to avoid the first few hits but as the lesson dragged on, I found myself getting tired, sloppy. Without the added boost of adrenaline that came with the threat of death or capture, I wasn’t moving as quickly as I could and it wasn’t long before Kunikida raised his hand to indicate we should stop.

I was so out of shape...

“Okay, not bad,” he said, tapping his chin. “But I think I can give you a few pointers...”

I saw his smile widen just a fraction as I took my phone out of my pocket and opened up a fresh memo and warmth flooded through me as I saw the look in his sage-colored eyes. His expression was almost... affectionate?

“You’ve got the right idea,” he said, “and you’re pretty good at keeping your distance, which is key to keeping yourself safe if you want to avoid being hit. But, you have a tendency to turn your back on your opponent and I want to train you away from that. You see...”

He put his hand on my shoulder and slowly walked around me so that now I was no longer facing him. He swept one leg out so that his foot was touching the back of my shoe and positioned me so that I would lose my balance if he let go of my shoulder.

“When you can’t see your opponent, you can’t see them telegraphing an attack. If you can’t see where the attack is coming from, you won’t be able to get away.”

He moved his leg back and took his hand off my shoulder as I turned to face him.

“Remember to keep your eyes on your opponent whenever possible. Both so you can avoid those attacks and so you can counter attack. Now let’s try that again.”

Time passed quickly. To my surprise (and Kunikida’s), I picked up on what he said very quickly and as the pseudo-sparring session continued, I was able to avoid every attack with ease.

“Good.”

His fist came towards me, a little faster this time. I took a step to the left.

“Very good.”

Kunikida began picking up the pace and as I kept dodging his attacks, making sure to keep my eyes on him and his movements whenever possible, I saw a smile blooming on his face. After about ten minutes of these rounds, Kunikida clapped his hands together and nodded, looking very satisfied.

“Kusunoki-kun, I’m impressed,” he declared, beaming. “You picked that up pretty fast.”

“Ah, well, I have a pretty great teacher,” I said shyly, twisting a lock of hair between my fingers.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen Kunikida looking so happy. Knowing that he was smiling because of something I’d done... I couldn’t help it if I was smiling as widely as he was.

“Since you’ve pretty much gotten the hang of dodging, let’s move on to counter attacks. There’s a whole range of techniques for countering grabs or holds of different kinds, so let’s do that next.”

He pointed at the fabric of his gi.

“We’ll do the exact same thing as before. I want you to grab the lapels of my clothes and I’ll demonstrate how to get out of it.”

His brows twitched together.

“Would you like me to put on gloves for this? Or are you comfortable enough with your Ability that skin contact won’t be a problem?”

“S-skin contact?”

What were we going to be doing?

“I think...” I decided slowly, “I want to try it without.”

I looked up at him, a strange sense of determination flowing through me.

“I... I don’t want to be wearing gloves all the time,” I said, my hands balling into fists.

I want my life back.

“I want to live like an ordinary person, as much as possible, and if I want to do that, I have to work to control my Ability.”

And I want to move forward.

“If President’s Fukuzawa’s Ability itself is not enough then...”

I looked up at him, my body tensing, resolve burning deep inside my chest.

“I’ll have to make up the difference.”

So that one day, I can finally stand beside you... beside all of you.

As your equals.

For a moment, Kunikida’s beautiful sage-green eyes widened.

“Kusunoki-kun...”

His mouth set into a line and his eyebrows slowly furrowed further. He studied me.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded.

“Okay, then.”

He patted his chest. “Grab hold.”

But as I reached my hands out towards Kunikida’s chest and gripped the lapels of his gi between my fingers, I came to the abrupt realization that he wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath... and by grabbing on to the fabric of his clothing, I was opening his gi and pulling it away from his chest.

Smooth, glowing skin glistened up on me, the thinnest sheen of workout sweat condensing on Kunikida’s toned, well-muscled chest and I felt my grip faltering as I stared straight ahead of me. I suddenly couldn’t talk.

“Uh, Kusunoki-kun?”

Oblivious to my current predicament, Kunikida tapped my hand.

“I’m gonna need you to actually grab me if I’m going to show you how to break free of an actual grab...”

My tongue was sticking to the roof of my mouth. I could barely breathe. I swallowed thickly and tried to tighten my grip, praying he wouldn’t notice how much sweatier I’d just become.

“L-like... like this?”

“A little tighter.”

Oh God, my face was burning—burning!!

“How’s that?”

“Great.”

In one smooth motion, Kunikida moved his left hand across his chest and gripped my trembling right hand in his left. His hand was so large, it almost completely enveloped mine. He gripped my hand tightly and plowed on, completely unaware of how our positioning and overall height difference was causing me to literally tug his clothing off of his body.

“So this is going to sound counter-intuitive, but if you want to break free of a hold like this,” he said, gesturing at our positions with his free hand, “what you want to do is first trap your opponent.”

He pulled his arm down—the arm that had crossed over mine to grab my hand—and as he did so, both my arms folded downwards at the joint and I was pulled forward. My nose was now right up against his bare chest.

Heat exploded in my face.

I could feel the pull of my Ability but it was nothing next to the overpowering rush of sensations that flooded into my body as I tried to keep my face as far away from Kunikida’s chest as possible. I couldn’t hear anything above the pounding of my heart as Kunikida slowly and patiently explained the technique he was teaching me.

I was going to die... Die! But at least I was going to die a happy woman...!

“...Are you listening, Kusunoki-kun?”

My voice came out as a tiny squeak.

“Hm?”

“I asked if you were listening,” Kunikida rumbled and I bit back a groan as I saw a droplet of sweat slide down between his pecs. “I was talking about—oh.”

And for the second time this morning, he went completely red.

Kunikida let go of me at once. As we each backed several steps away from each other, I spun around and covered my face. I thought I heard him swearing softly under his breath.

“I-I’m so sorry, Kusunoki-kun,” he stammered, his voice sounding strangely muffled—like he was covering his face with his hands again.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I—”

“No, it’s okay!” I squeaked, not daring to turn around and look at him again.

I could still see that drop of sweat trickling down his chest...

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for!”

Absolutely nothing.

“You were just trying to show me something—!”

And as I stood there, several meters away from him, babbling like an absolute idiot in the middle of the training room, I heard a set of familiar voices carrying into the room from outside. It sounded like Yosano and Edogawa. If they were here, then it was almost eight...

“Ah!”

Kunikida let out a sigh of relief.

“It looks like it’s time to head up to work. Why don’t we pick this up another time and go upstairs with them?”

“Sounds good to me. Oh, wait!”

Suddenly remembering, I rushed towards the front of the room, where I’d left the plastic bag full of snacks and drinks I’d gotten at the convenience store this morning. Grabbing the bag, I plunged my hand into the middle and fished out a black canned coffee and croissant in a plastic bag.

“Here!”

I shoved both at him, my head inclined in a bow half out of respect, half so I wouldn’t have to look him in the face.

“I—I got you breakfast. I wanted to say thank you. For taking time out of your busy schedule to train me. I... really appreciate it.”

“Oh—!”

Kunikida sounded surprised. I risked a quick glance up and saw that he’d fixed his shirt. I tried not to think about whether I was relieved or disappointed.

“Thank you, Kusunoki-kun. That’s very thoughtful of you...”

“It’s really nothing!!” I exclaimed. “A-anyway, did you want to go upstairs together?”

“Oh, um...”

He trailed off and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I should stay here and clean up,” he said quietly, his eyes focused on something I couldn’t see. “Why don’t you go on ahead?”

He glanced back at me, a sort of half-smile tugging at his lips. His cheeks were still just a little pink.

“I’ll catch up with you later.”

I nodded.

“Okay, then. I’ll see you soon, Kunikida-san.”

As he nodded and turned away from me, I was struck with a sudden urge to ask another question.

“Kunikida-san?”

He glanced over his shoulder at me. I stopped chewing my lip and steeled my nerves.

“Same time tomorrow?”

There was a pause. Then he nodded.

My heart soared.

“Sure,” he said, his half-smile turning into a full one.

“Same time tomorrow.”

#kunikida x oc #dazai x oc #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #fanfiction

3 notes · View notes