#if they gotta use the chair its their choice if theyre feeling better and wanna walk their choice

[thedisablednaturalist]

I think "my spoons my choice" needs to be used more

[ylla]

Say Goodnight

Series: JJBA Characters: Okuyasu Nijimura, Josuke Higashikata Pairing: Okuyasu Nijimura/Josuke Higashikata Tags: mental health issues, nightmares, modern AU, implied/referenced domestic violence Rating: T

AO3 link

one of my BFFs sent me the prompt “josuoku, keicho was a shitty brother but oku still cared about him, josuke helps him with his Feefees”, because he loves to kill me. which is why this isn’t long, but i liked it enough to post it on here. also gonna point out that this takes place in the current timeline, where theyre finally in college.

speaking of which! send me prompts on here or AO3! or fic trade requests, or ask me about cheers au in general, or just come talk to me! i love to die and be killed!

Having nightmares never a good time.

Okuyasu wasn’t sure how long he’d been in the bathroom. Typically after a bad dream, he would manage to take a walk around the block a time or two, chain-smoking until the tightness in his chest lessened and all of his muscles dully throbbed from being so tense. But when the panic attack was this paralyzing, this overwhelming, the only thing he could manage to do was lay down, ride it out, and try to remember how to breathe.

So, there he was, stripped down to boxer briefs, laying on the cold ass linoleum, trying to count the striations on the ceiling. It kept him present. Usually. It wasn’t working tonight. Not when he could still hear Keicho’s voice echoing in his ears, shrieking about his failures as a brother and human being; a voice that was akin to nails on a chalkboard and the deafening ringing of pipes being hit. Not when he still saw his charred burnt corpse laying there, mouth gaping open in an unnatural way.

Not when he remembered the feeling of hundreds of hot knives slicing down his face.

It took a tremendous amount of effort, but Okuyasu fumbled around for his discarded phone. He needed Josuke.

In the event that calling was impossible, they had come up with a code for ‘I need you’; the thumbs down emoji. It was to never be used for anything that wasn’t its intended purpose, which was to alert the other to go where the sender was and comfort them. It was especially never to be used while flirting (Josuke just preferred sending the eggplant emoji with a bunch of water droplet emojis, topped off with a skull and coffin emoji anyways).

Okuyasu started sending Josuke text after text. He was on his 27th when he mercifully got a response:

J✰☮♡: omw

He spared a glance at the time, and groaned when 3:23 am peered back at him. Both of them had class tomorrow, and he knew for a fact Josuke had to be up at 8 am to make it to his literature class. Okuyasu felt like a dickhead, but he knew Josuke would be pissed if he found out Oku just laid on his bathroom floor all night, unable to fucking breathe instead of calling him like he promised.

After what felt like an eternity, but in reality was only about 10 minutes, Okuyasu heard the front door open. Someone quietly padded up the stairs, turning down the hallway and towards his room, before coming back and gently knocking on the bathroom door.

“Babe?” Okuyasu could only respond with a strangled noise. His eyes were still glued to the ceiling when the door slowly swung open, “Oh, Oku…” was all Josuke said.

A harsh sob tore out of Okuyasu; he quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, ashamed at his sudden outburst. Josuke navigated the tiny bathroom carefully, as to not step on Okuyasu, before plopping down cross-legged beside him, pulling his head into his lap. Oku pressed his face into Josuke’s hands as he wiped away his tears and stroked his hair. They sat like that until Okuyasu was able to get control of his breathing. “Thank you,” he murmured, feeling exhausted.

“S’what I’m here for. Do you feel okay enough to sit up?”

“Yeah, can I get some help?”

With a little maneuvering, Josuke got him up off the floor, and sat him on the toilet. As his boyfriend busied himself running cold water on a washcloth, Oku got a good look at him. Josuke was wearing an old band shirt he pilfered from him, on top of faded grey joggers. His hair was in a messy bun; stray hairs held back an adorable purple headband dotted with gold stars that Okuyasu bought for him forever ago. He looked like he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep; he was the most goddamned beautiful thing Okuyasu has ever seen.

Humming, Josuke pressed the cold washcloth to Oku’s face, “Hold this for me, I’m gonna go make you some tea.”

Okuyasu did what he was told, “I love you.”

“I love you too sunshine,” Josuke smooched the top of his noggin before walking out of the bathroom.

He came back a few minutes later, mug of tea in hand, “Come on, let’s go lay down.”

Okuyasu’s room was a nightmare; his blankets were strewn all over the floor, everything on his nightstand had been knocked into the floor from his panicked flailing upon waking, water all over the floor from a knocked over cup. He felt like crying again. Josuke placed his mug on the desk, ushering Oku into a chair. “I’ll get this picked up,” he snatched up blanket and the ever-faithful Mr. Whiskers from the floor and handed them to Oku, “Drink ya tea.”

If Tomoko knew her son was cleaning a bedroom without being told to, she would probably faint. Blanket wrapped around him, sipping his tea, Okuyasu started to feel a little better. He watched Josuke mutter cuss words under his breath as he wrestled with the covers, sopped up the water, and felt so goddamn lucky.

After everything got cleaned up, Okuyasu dropped down stomach-first onto the bed. He felt Josuke straddle him, then cool hands kneaded lotion onto his back. “You are one big knot, sunshine…” he could hear the frown in Josuke’s voice.

Oku loved back rubs, especially when they led to other kinds of rubbing. This particular one would lead to nothing sexy, which was more than fine, because he was tired and just wanted to feel Josuke’s touch. Nothing was more comforting than Josuke putting his hands on him. Between the tea, Josuke’s soft humming, and his hands on his back, Okuyasu felt himself relaxing, until sleep enveloped him.

“Sorry about last night.”

Okuyasu was still laying on his stomach, his head resting on Mr. Whiskers. Josuke sat beside him, in nothing but his underwear, eating a bowl of Cheerios. He hadn’t checked the time, but Oku figured it was about 10 am. Looked like neither of them was going to their classes.

“Dude, don’t apologize. I want you to call me when ya feel like that. Don’t care how late it is.”

“I gotta, we’re missing class because of this horseshit.”

“Sunshine,” Josuke placed his finished bowl on the nightstand, “I’d rather be here taking care of you, than learning about some dumbass Shakespeare shit.”

As it always did when Josuke used his pet name, Okuyasu went pink in the face. “Don’t deserve how good you are to me,” he responded.

“Yes you do, I don’t give a shit how many times I gotta say it until you believe it,” Josuke laid down, pulling Oku into his arms, smooching his face, “I’ll say it until you’re so goddamned sick of hearing it, you’ll have no choice but to accept it.”

They laid like that for a while, with Okuyasu’s head resting on his boyfriend’s chest. Josuke ran his fingers through his hair, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Not really was what Oku thought. Instead he answered, “Same nightmare I always have. A dead Keicho just reminding how big of a piece of shit I am.”

“You’re not a piece of shit.”

Okuyasu didn’t have it in him to argue. He was just too exhausted. They sat in silence for a little bit before Oku managed to speak again, voice choked with tears, “I loved him, you know?”

“I know.”

“He was such a fucking asshole, but he was the only thing I had.”

“I know he was.” Josuke stopped running his fingers through Oku’s hair long enough to wipe his tears away.

“Every time he’d tell me how fucking worthless I was, or hit me, I’d hate him for it. But, then I’d remember all those times he was good to me, and it just made me feel sick.” Okuyasu paused to gulp down a shaky breath, “I know Keicho deserved what he got, and I know he was a super bastard, but there’s part of me that misses him. Or misses the good parts of him, I guess. There wasn’t any of that left in the end…”

Josuke kissed the top his head, “You didn’t deserve how he treated you—“

“I know.”

“He super didn’t deserve a little brother that still loved and forgave him despite all the fucked up shit he did.” Okuyasu could hear the underlying heat Josuke was trying to keep out of his voice. He was always thankful that Josuke did his best to not fly off the handle when they talked about Keicho. Josuke shifted down so he could look Oku in the eyes, “Okuyasu, I love you. You are a good person, you’re not worthless or an idiot. You deserve everything good in life.” After Josuke managed to kiss away all of his tears, he hopped up, “Let’s go get you some food, then shower because my hair is a tragedy.”

Okuyasu followed suit, “I guess I could go for some Honey Nut Cheerios.”

“They don’t call it Honey Nut Cheerios anymore,” Josuke bent over to pick up his shirt, “It’s just Honey Cheerios now.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, now you gotta add your own.”

It took him a few seconds to get it. When he did, Oku shoved him, “You fucker! Don’t talk about my cereal like that!”

Josuke cackled as he slid his shirt on, “Don’t worry baby, I got you covered—“

“EW!! STOP TALKING ABOUT JIZZING IN MY FOOD!!”

All he got was a sly grin, “Who said I was talking about food?”

Okuyasu started sputtering; Josuke gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek then an obnoxious wink before skittering downstairs. Struggling to pull his clothes on quickly, Okuyasu grumbled to himself, “We’ll just have to see about that…” before following his lovely, pesky boyfriend downstairs.

He really was a lucky guy.