#if they didn’t want me to call the templars cops they shouldn’t have made them cops

[britcision]

So Vivienne’s wonderful and I love her forever

I stan her “well have you considered getting good” approach to literally everything in her life

She is very much still in the stage of “I shall bend the system to my will”, which is an interesting illustration of why she’s the only First Enchanter around right now;

The others have all been at it long enough to notice that the system is designed and built with Vivienne specifically in mind (and others like her)

An oppressive system does not survive decades without major internal dampeners to turn or break every single ambitious star that seeks to rise and make it their own

And it’s already working on her

Kirkwall is the bad Circle, but it’s an outlier; never mind that every single Circle has the potential to become as bad or worse, based only on which templars rise to control it

The ones she’s met are perfectly lovely, obedient little guards, and she has no complaints with her own treatment (which she ensures for herself by being a powerhouse and political goddess, something absolutely anyone could definitely do for sure don’t think too hard about it)

She’s seen the “good” outcome, so she thinks the system works because it’s working for her, and she can play within the bounds of the system… and she’s not exactly concerned with helping up those behind her

The interesting part is that she’s also not entirely wrong in her issues with the rebel mages; most of the other mages aren’t at court, and didn’t see the rising danger in public opinion that Vivienne did

(And they’re all likely a lot more affected by the restrictions than Vivienne, who only goes to the Circle when she wants to and lives where she likes)

She couldn’t understand their perspective on the suffering because… yeah, this was not a great time for the mages to rebel. Right after a possessed mage murdered hundreds?

Vivienne’s right; it makes them look like they care more for their comfort than the lives of citizens, because most of the citizens don’t know the conditions the mages endure

(Most citizens are part of the shitty conditions the mages endure, but again, Vivienne’s not had rocks thrown at her for being a mage)

The thing is that there would never be a politically acceptable time to rebel. That’s why it’s a rebellion, not a polite request

There would never be a single, perfect time that no one would spin to be about the mages being selfish and caring about their comfort over lives

Now is not a good time, but the other mages aren’t choosing it because they’re impatient and don’t want to wait

They’re rebelling now because they have been pushed beyond endurance by the templars (who still have not dealt with their own rogue people wandering around and murdering random civilians, but shhhhh don’t think about that, only mages are hurting the innocent for sure)

Vivienne can’t see their urgency because she doesn’t live that life, and because the system is already busily wrapping her in a shroud of comfort

Her actual view of what she wants for the Circles is still good; a safe place for mages to learn and come together

Magic schools, protected from superstitious populace by the templars (which requires a complete 180 turn of thinking by the templars themselves on if the mages are prisoners or people)

Maybe even some basic fucking protections to stop people from getting possessed, which literally everyone needs anyway because we’re living in wood and thatch houses and every single civilian has access to fire

EVERYONE is dangerous when possessed, mages just scale up faster the more powerful they are, but the more powerful they are the harder they should be to break

Unless they’re broken and mistreated and ground down until they buy into the “us against them” that the templars and citizens force on them, and stop caring if their tormentors are hurt

Which, again, is why Vivienne’s vision for the Circles cannot be realised under the system as it stands

As long as the Circles are a place to lock up mages so they can’t hurt “good, normal people”, someone will abuse it

And the person who abuses it the most, gets their mages the most “under control”, rises to the top on a tower of magic

And the rot spreads

And when you’re on the inside, but at the top? Not being stepped on but treated with respect and reverence? Well, how hard can it be to stay there all the time? Surely they can just wait for a better time to be free

The game’s trying so fucking hard to push its “Not All Templars” agenda but it’s actually only highlighting just how flawed this logic is, and I am FASCINATED with how perfectly they’ve replicated an oppressive system without even meaning to

They so clearly want you to buy the “not all templars are bad like not all mages are good”, but the problem’s right there on the surface:

The mages are dealing with their problems

They don’t want to get possessed either, and nor does anyone else

The templars are pretending their problems don’t exist

That they don’t need to deal with every rogue templar wearing their banner, drinking their lyrium, murdering random villagers and nobles left and right

You’re literally not allowed to even bring it up to the head seeker when he’s off grandstanding

Every mage who tells you “well not all the templars are bad” tattoos respectability politics on the insides of your eyelids because that’s the whole actual problem:

It doesn’t matter if not all the templars are bad. What matters is that the good templars cannot or do not try to stop the bad ones

The bad ones are the ones in power, making the rules

Good people who follow bad rules are complicit

A rotten apple only spoils the barrel if you leave it in there to fester

Anyway Vivienne > Cullen all day every day because

1) queen of Step On Me energy

And 2) we do not blame the actions of oppressors on the oppressed, even when they are propping up the same oppressive system

Also all the templars being mandatory drug addicts is a fucking wild twist and I can’t wait to see where that goes, I am blaming it for Cullen’s weird pinchy redness around his eyes and nose

[artsynanotech]

The Hunt, Part 3

I don’t want to write this down. Writing it down means thinking about it, remembering it, and all I want to do is forget. I want to bury my head in the proverbial sand. Shove my fingers in my ears. I’d do anything to make my brain cease functioning, even if it’s just for a few minutes. I know those are cowards’ words. But I’ve said before I can be cowardly. I’ve also said that I take responsibility for my own messes. In this case I think cowardice is a more appealing option.

Wretchid is dead. So is the Salubri, Gary. Ares was hurt. Isaac lost two of his fingers. All because of me. All because I thought doing the moral thing mattered more than doing the smart one.

The night got off to a decent, if confusing and worrisome start. I woke to Gary suffering some kind of nightmare. Or at least I thought it was that. Some sort of vibrant night terror accompanied by sleepwalking. He was up and about, talking like he was someone else, but obviously not aware of where he was. He thought he was in some sort of… battle, maybe? He mentioned Templars. He thought I was someone else, a woman. He tried to hug me. I slapped him to wake him up. He was confused and a bit disoriented, but back to his normal self.

Shortly after Ares woke up and we planned Gary’s escape. Against all my better judgement I’d contacted Khan for help. He’d set up a safe house in a storage unit on the opposite side of town. Ares volunteered to get Gary there. I didn’t like the idea at all. With Isaac missing, the last thing I wanted was my boyfriend putting himself at unnecessary risk. Especially when it was my stupid idea to begin with. But it was the smartest choice and we both knew it. I needed to get back to my coterie. I needed to let them know I was safe. And if I could misdirect them a little to help Ares and Gary out, all the better. Ares let me borrow his phone so he could keep in touch with me. I called Caroline as soon as I left my building. She was, of course, *disappointed* that I hadn’t called last night to let her know I was okay. Apparently she’d arranged for help searching for me under all the rubble from the explosion. I should have known she would. She and Michella and Wretchid met me at our Italian place and I gave them my story for the previous night: I’d dug myself out of the rubble , discovered the basement dwelling Gary had been using (empty, of course), and made my way out through a maintenance tunnel. I then suggested Gary might be using those to get around. My hope was to get Caroline to direct any search parties underground. Then I texted Ares to let him know I’d done so. They were all so glad I’d survived, and the first thing I did was lie to them. I am the worst. The next order of business was to check up on another search party in our domain. Apparently security had doubled because of yesterday’s explosion, and there were reports of Sabbat attacks all over the city. Michella and Wretchid had encountered them yesterday. And the party we were going to check in on ran afoul of them as well. I was even more frightened for Isaac then. If the Sabbat were in town, chances of his survival were even more abysmal that I already suspected.

The members of the other search party managed to take one of the Sabbat’s goons alive, and had come to the conclusion that mass embraces were happening somewhere in the city. The only way to know for sure was to interrogate the captive. I volunteered to take him to Elysium. I needed *something* to do, to distract me from worrying about Isaac and Ares, and lord knows I wasn’t going to do much good out in the field. Bethany, Maceth, and several others were waiting for me when I arrived. Maceth and Co. took the captive elsewhere, and I got to have something of a heart-to-heart with Bethany. I know having a common heritage doesn’t necessarily make someone family in Kindred society, but Bethany and Isaac do share a sire, and they seem close. She was worried about him. And she seemed worried about me. She wanted to know if I was okay, and tried to reassure me that Isaac would be okay too. I think we both knew it was a long shot, but I appreciated the sentiment. I put on my best attempt at a game face for her (though I suspect she may have Auspexed me, so I probably shouldn’t have bothered). As I was leaving Elysium I got a call on Ares’ phone. I let it go to voice mail, then checked to see who it was. A man with a thick Scottish accent addressed me by name. That alone chilled me; how did he know I’d be reachable on this phone? The man’s words chilled me even more. He was Sabbat, and he had my sire. His request was simple: trade Gary for Isaac. Isaac was dead if I didn’t.  I knew then how he got the number, because there was only one other person who knew I had Gary: Khan. I knew I couldn’t completely trust him, of course, but I thought he valued favors too much to sell me out immediately. And to the *Sabbat,* of all people… Khan may be an ass, but he always came across as the type to punish monsters. Why would he help them now? I swallowed my fear and called Caroline, to see where she and the others were. She told me they were en route to the storage unit where I was supposed to leave Gary. I was suddenly twice as confused and three times as scared. Khan had spoken with them, too? Why? What was his game? And what if my coterie found Ares there? My mind was swimming – no – drowning in a deluge of worst case scenarios. I panicked. I did the absolutely worst thing possible. I told Caroline what I’d done. The conversation went about as well as could be expected. She wasn’t mad, of course. Just very, *very* disappointed. We didn’t spend much time on the phone. It was a topic best talked about in person anyway. Somehow we all managed to arrive at the storage unit before Ares and Gary. Caroline was her usual self, composed in spite of everything. Michella was pissed, as she had every right to be. And Wretchid… well I’m pretty sure he hated me. That stung. I know I only have myself to blame, but for all his teasing and horrible manners, he was always looking out for me. I can’t imagine how my actions must have hurt him. He died with that hurt. Because of me. I’m getting ahead of myself. I told them all they could do what they liked with me, as long as they helped me get Isaac back. He was innocent in all this, and if there was a chance to save him I had to take it. They agreed. Ares and Gary arrived shortly after. Apparently Gary had slipped back into that strange persona from earlier and Ares had no idea what to do. This… not-Gary was partial to me, though. He thought I was a woman named Margaret, and was dead set on protecting me. He was also more aware of an in control of his disciplines that normal Gary was. He flipped one of our cars with ease. I decided it was best to keep this persona out, and we formulated a plan. Ares and I would trade Gary for Isaac, and when Isaac was out of harm’s way Gary would take on the Sabbat with his newfound strength. The others would help out in the fight as needed. I called the Sabbat. They agreed to meet us at the storage facility. Less than half an hour later they were there. Five of them. They upheld their end of the bargain; Isaac was beaten, bloody, and staked, but alive. He was missing two of his fingers; the Sabbat had amputated them when I tried to ask too many questions. As if I haven’t caused him enough trouble already… I don’t want to dwell on the battle itself. Without going into too much detail, Ares and I tried to take down their leader. We managed a few good hits but nothing more. Ares took some sort of magic-fueled punch to the chest that nearly downed him. Michella and Caroline tried to take down one from where they had hidden in the security office. Gary got staked. Wretched tried to keep a pair of them  off Gary and took a hell of a beating in return. Soon we hear sirens. The cops were coming, so we had no choice but to bail before doing any real damage to the enemy. We didn’t need to, though, as the security building exploded while we drove away. There was no time to grab Wretchid or Gary, though. Going back to the scene later confirmed that they’d both perished in the blast, along with the Sabbat pack

Somehow Caroline and Michella found it in their hearts not to have me executed for my mistakes. I told them to (though Ares was none too happy about it) and was expecting they would. Instead they came up with a plausible story to explain the night’s events. One phone call to Bethany later, we were headed back to Elysium to report on the successful demise of the infamous Salubri.

We dropped Ares off at his place first. He wanted to come with us, and part of me wanted him to as well, but we all knew he was better off staying home. Elysium was, of course, packed. We were taken straight to the prince while others tended to Isaac. Caroline handled the encounter with all the poise and grace I’ve come to expect from her. The Prince was a bit annoyed that we hadn’t exactly followed protocol, but seemed otherwise satisfied. Provided, of course, that both Isaac and a second witness could back up our story. We knew Isaac would without question. The second witness – who we correctly guessed was Khan – apparently did as well. I can’t see why he wouldn’t. He can’t wring any favors out of us if we’re dead.

And now it’s over. My sire is safe. That, at least, I don’t regret. He’s worried about me. Says my compassion will be the death of me. How can he still love me after all this? I don’t deserve him. With two deaths on my hands, I don’t deserve any of my friends. Ares will stay by my side. I’m sure of that. I’m not sure if Caroline and Michella will. Part of me hopes they won’t. It’d be better for them that way. As much as I care about them, the last thing they need is a pathetic excuse for a kindred like me dragging them down.