#if there's one thing my long time followers know about me it's that sleepy cuddle art is my bread and butter. goddamn

[nhura]

some crazy ass wips to work on this week... do me a favor and hold me accountable KUDASAAAAAAAAI (⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠)

[eccentricwritingbaby]

baby finn series, babysitting and date nights

series masterlist

lando norris x mom!wife!reader

summary - uncle carlos comes over to babysit finn as you and your husband enjoy a night out. 

masterlist

-

when lando had finally turned the latch of the lock to your shared home, he let out an exhausted sigh. he had been in the sim all day with a long road ahead of him in order to secure a win. he was drained. he had been there the entire day, missing dinner and almost missing bedtime. all he wanted was to hug his young son, kiss his beautiful wife, and take a long hot shower. the universe, however, had other plans. 

opening the door, lando was met with baby finn running circles around you in nothing but his diaper. you locked eyes with your husband and he could feel the exhaustion that you were exhibiting, too. finn wasn’t being bad, he was just being a kid. he had loads of energy that you and lando could usually keep up with in high spirits, but, work had been kicking both of your asses. you were both burning out.

“finn, honey, please it’s time for your bath,” you let out a sigh, bringing your hand up to brush the hair out of your face. lando walks over to assess the situation fully, bringing your tired body into his arms for a hug. you slump against him as he kisses your forehead and locks eyes with his son.

“finn. bath. now,” your husband puts his foot down and your son happily runs towards the bathroom, not grasping the exhaustion or irritation of his parents - thankfully. one thing neither of you ever did was push your problems onto your son, and you never wanted to. 

“thank you, i’ll head in there in a min-” you begin but your husband cuts you off with a kiss. 

“no, we agreed you’d take the morning, i’ll take bedtime. i’ve got this,” lando replies with a swipe to your bum. 

“but you look tired, love-”

“so do you. it’s alright, who knows? maybe finn’s innocent energy will rub off on me, eh?” you chuckle at his question and wordlessly nod before he continues, “go get ready for bed, i’ll call you right in,” one more smack to your bum and lando is heading into the bathroom to start his son’s nightly routine as you follow his polite orders to take care of yourself. 

around a half hour later, lando is calling you into finn’s room for a cuddle and a tuck into bed. as you arrive, you can see finn slowly losing his energy cuddled into your husband’s arms, letting out a yawn. 

“is my sweet boy tired?” you question towards your son, seeing lando nod his head yes as finn lets go of a quiet ‘so much mommy’. 

“i think he had a case of the late night zoomies,” lando lets out a laugh as he gently sets his son into bed, proceeding to get him comfortable under the blankets. you both then lean down, kissing his forehead, wishing him a good night's sleep, and reminding him you’d see him in the morning. after the lights are off and the door cracked a bit open, lando leads you down the hall towards your bedroom with a firm hand on your lower back. 

you collapse onto the bed in a huff once you enter, leading your husband to quietly laugh at you - still cautious of the sleepy boy down the hall. 

“i’m heading to shower, love. care to join?” lando offers with eyes wide and smile even larger. you grant him a feverish nod and begin to follow behind him eagerly as he giggles. 

once you were both stripped and into the steamy shower, lando’s body slumped against yours, his back being attacked by the hot water and his head resting on your shoulder. you run your hand gently through his wet curls as he lets out a deep sigh. 

“wanna talk about it?” you whisper into his hair. lando shakes his head and mumbles into your shoulder, “could you repeat that, love?” you giggle, shaking your shoulder a bit to move lando’s face out of your neck and into your view. his hands grip your waist as yours are guided to rest on either side of his face.

“i just want to relax, we haven’t had a day just us to relax, i miss my wife,”

“i miss you too but that’s the life of parents, lan. maybe if you had pulled out three year-”

“alright, alright,” he exclaims, “you don’t need to harp on my pullout game for me to get the picture” he laughs while reaching behind you to grab some body wash. 

“i do agree we need a small break, though,” you sigh, “work has been draining me, i don’t want it to affect finn,”

“ya know who’s in town next week, love?” lando’s eyes sparkle as he asks, prompting you to laugh and let out a shake of your head, urging him to continue, “carlos,”

-

“okay, bud. uncle los will be here very soon, do you remember what we talked about?” lando is on one knee, bent at your son’s level and looking oh so fine. his black button up with most of the top buttons loose, the dark pants to go with it and the chains dangling from his neck already had you worked up, but the adorable nature of his fatherhood? now that’s hot. 

“yes, daddy,” your son replies, you can tell he’s attempting to hold in his excitement as much as he can as he is almost vibrating due to his little bursts of energy. 

“can you tell me again, bubs?” lando holds onto his son’s hands, searching his eyes at an attempt to really have finn understand the importance. 

“um, say pwease and tank you!”

“very good, what else?”

“be nice,”

“good, bubs, anything else?”

“do what uncle los say?” finn adds his last answer with an unsure smile as he eyes his dad with a tilted head. lando chuckles at his son’s cuteness and kisses his head, nodding in confirmation for your son to listen to his babysitter for the night. 

“and help him out, baby. if he needs anything, okay?” you add on, making your entrance in the room known. lando looks over to you and it seems as if his heart stopped, but it hadn’t. if anything it was beating so fast it could've flown out of his chest. standing up from his position on the ground, he makes his way over to you, mouth agape, eyes raking your figure, and head slowly shaking left to right. 

“you look…” your husband drinks in your appearance again, eyes scanning you from head to toe, “absolutely breathtaking,” he finishes off, his right hand coming over to hold his heart. 

“thank you, my love,” you giggle a bit, stepping to him in order to plant a kiss to his cheek, “you clean up pretty nice, too,” you shoot him a wink, walking past him and towards your son. 

“thanks for walking away, dear. this view is much better,” lando lets out a chuckle, eyes not daring to drift from your ass, until your head swivels - and he catches your smile.

“anytime, baby,” you laugh at his antics, leading him on as you bend over to grab your son, slower than usual. you hear a deep groan come from lando but before anymore comments were made, the doorbell rang throughout the home. finn drops from your arms, beginning his race to the door. 

“finn! wait until i open the door!” lando shouts, jogging over to where your toddler was attempting to reach the handle. 

“i big like you dada! i do it!” finn jumps again, trying with all his little might to reach the handle. lando comes behind him, scooping him up from behind and holding him near the handle and lock. 

“alright, go ahead big boy,” lando urges his son to open the door, and when he does, his excited shrieks are all that fill the house. 

“UNCLE LOS!” finn has wiggled out of his fathers’ grasp and already launched himself into carlos’ arms. 

“hola, pequeño,” the ferrari driver lets out with a chuckle. 

“i so excited you here!” finn is squirming up and down in carlos’ arms as the adults all just laugh at the adorable kid. lando pulls him out of carlos’ arms for one more brief chat about his behavior as you hand carlos the important babysitting list. 

“basically, it's all the numbers you don’t already have, like fewtrell and i think my mom, and then his schedule is here,” you continue briefing carlos as lando begins to stand and make his way back to you, “you don’t have to be too strict about this, just have fun,” you assure carlos at the end of the run through. 

“i’ve got it, you guys have fun. finn and i sure will,” carlos begins to usher you two out the door, a hyper-active three year old seemingly glued to his leg.

“call if you need anything, and i mean anything,” lando emphasizes to his friend.

“lando. it will be fine, you muppet. go enjoy your night with your wife, i’m going to catch up with mi amigo, finn, here,” at this point he is pushing you and your husband out the door and you both laugh at the door shutting in your faces. lando extends his arm for you to hold with a ‘m’lady’, and you both make your way to the restaurant. 

-

at the restaurant, the maître d' guides you to your table and lando proceeds to pull out the chair for you to take your seat. both now seated, he begin to ask what drinks to begin with, lando responding with his and you responding with ‘just a water, please’. walking away to fulfill your orders, lando spares you an odd glance.

“it’s our night off, love. you didn’t want to get a drink?” 

“no, just a water will do it for me,” you respond quick, your husband still eyeing you with oddity, “im glad we’re doing this,” you continue, reaching across the table to hold his hand in yours. 

“me too, a night just to ourselves was very needed,” he lets out with a smile. 

“i just hope our boy isn’t causing too much chaos at home,” you sigh, the waiter coming over to take your orders and drop off your drinks. lando just mumbles a ‘they’ll be fine’ almost to assure himself before placing his order. 

-

“vroom! vroom!” finn squeaks out on the floor, rolling his red ferrari cars around the living room. carlos joins in with a laugh, proceeding to hold his own decorated sainz55 car - finn’s most prized possession - and run it around their make-shift track. he quickly pulls out his phone to capture the moment and ease the parents minds.

“finn, look here! it’s for mommy and daddy, smile!” carlos instructs the little boy. finn looks up, letting out a huge smile and giggle, before crawling into the ferrari drivers lap. one more picture - a selfie this time - of finn clinging onto carlos’ neck, and carlos hits a quick send to his friends. 

-

“here, honey,” lando pulls his phone out and sends it your way in order for you to also see the adorable array of photos your babysitter had sent. 

“well aren’t they having fun?” you place a hand over your heart as you speak, too in awe of the little chubby cheeked smile staring back at you. 

“this was a grand idea,” your husband reiterates, putting his phone away into his pocket after typing a response back. you both share a look and a smile, before continuing your previous conversation and finishing your food. 

-

making it home a little past finn’s bedtime, you both didn’t know what you would walk into. bedtime was finn’s only struggle, therefore him being awake when you arrived home wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for what both you and your husband expect. 

except, when you walk in, your house is clean, quiet, and calm. carlos stands from the couch in order to greet the both of you, while you’re both scrambling to pick your jaws off the floor. 

“i’m assuming it went well?” you ask with a laugh while carlos brings you into a light hug.

“si, finn was a gentlemen. he passed out on the couch by seven and i just carried him into his room after that,” you and lando share a look of disbelief before carlos continues, “we played with some cars, ate some dinner, watched a movie, and he went down really easily,”

“can you move in?” lando pops the question into the conversation as carlos laughs off the request, “i’m serious, sainz,” your husband pushes again.

“did you two enjoy your night?” the ferrari driver ignores his friends jokes, directing his attention to you.

“we did, thank you so much for this, carlos,” you respond with a smile, “we really appreciate it,”

carlos gives you another hug goodbye and you begin to make your way towards finn’s room to check on him as lando walks carlos out, continuing his pestering of ‘how did you do it, mate?’ and ‘you don’t understand he hates bedtime’. 

you stand in the doorway of your son’s room for some time, admiring the sleepy boy all cozy under his racecar blankets. feeling a hand on your waist, you turn and catch your husband in a kiss. 

“let’s go to bed, love,” he offers once you break apart. you give him a silent nod, and you both make your way into your bedroom - lando stealing one last glance at your son. 

walking into your bedroom, you discard your heels and begin to unzip your dress.

“ah, ah,” lando stops your movements, replacing your hands on the zipper with his own, “allow me,” you giggle a bit as he continues to unzip your dress, letting it pool onto the floor. he pulls your back into him and begins to pepper your skin with sweet and sensual kisses as you blush in his hold, “we still need to make baby number two,” he mumbles into your skin while continuing his kisses. your body stiffens, lando feeling and understanding the tension releases your body and turns you to face him.

“what is it, y/n? do you not want another baby anymore?” he asks quietly, as if he’s scared of your answer.

“no, no. it’s not that,” you reply, head hanging down to stare at your feet.

“then what is it?” lando cups your chin in his hands with his question, forcing you to meet his eyes.

“it’s just that,” you sigh, searching lando’s eyes, “we don’t need to keep trying, if there’s already a baby on the way,”

[babydollisdead]

AGAPE - JINX X READER

contains: fluff, g/n reader, really short, no proofread

warnings: none

summary: you help jinx fall asleep.

A/N: This is my first time ever writing one of these!! I hope you enjoy. Sorry if she seems a little out of character, I’ll write a better one soon lolz.

“Jinx..?” You called softly from the couch in her.. “room.” She had been sitting at her desk for hours now, and all you could hear was mumbled curses and what sounded like power tools every so often. And the occasional spray paint can, of course.

When you didn’t get an answer, you huffed and rolled your eyes. She had said she’d be done a while ago. You trot closer to her, rubbing your sleepy eyes. But as soon as you see her hunched over form, you know something’s wrong.

Her shoulders are tense, and the way her hair is frizzy around her braids shows she’s been tugging at it. She fiddles around with some odd thing she’s creating, her nimble fingers making it look effortless.

“God dammit..” She mumbled, a small groan leaving her lips. You step closer slowly, tapping her shoulder. She slowly glanced up, a tired look on her face.

“You know, you said you’d be done a while ago.” You say, crossing your arms over your chest. She rolls her eyes and smirks a little. “Got carried away. Sorry, toots.”

She goes to look back down at her.. well, whatever the hell she was making, and you quickly stop her.

“C’mon, Jinx. It’s late.” You give her a bit of a look, which earns a small groan from her. “You always are bothering me..” She huffs out as she stands up from her chair. You know it came from a place of love.

You were really one of the only people she trusted these days. Where everyone else failed, you seemed to not. It was almost fascinating to her. Jinx had gone so long keeping everyone at a distance, safe for the few she was close with.

But something about you.. just made her love you. She did kinda hate it. She’d say it was because you turned her into a lame sap, but deep down it’s because she’s scared.

Loving something meant you now have something to lose. And that was never a good thing.

She stretched, a few bones cracking. You smiled a little at how sleepy she seemed. “Those energy drinks ain’t working anymore, huh?” You teased, tugging lightly on her arm towards the couch. “I need to inject it into my veins.” She whined and you chuckled lightly.

You plopped down against the couch and she followed, flopping down right on top of you. A small sigh left her lips, and you could feel the tension leave her body. As if on cue, you rested a hand in her hair, running it over the blue braids.

“You ever gonna cut all this hair?” You spoke softly, watching as she cuddled into you. She shrugged. “I dunno. I think it’s part of my whole.. persona now.” She grinned and you rolled your eyes playfully.

“If you ever want to, i’ll help. Make it look all nice and not choppy.” You suggested. Her chin was resting on your chest. She gazed into your eyes for a moment, and it was a bit intimidating.

The way her eyes gleamed pink, almost blowing. You’d seen those eyes hold all different kinds of emotions, and still the intensity of them never failed to make you shiver.

Jinx then suddenly pressed a bunch of kisses to your face, and you squeaked before giggling. “W-what are you doing?” You spoke through giggles. She pulled away, a smug look on her face before she settled back down onto you. You could only imagine how dazed you look, all goofy and smitten with a bunch of dark kiss marks on your face.

“Just wanted to kiss you.” She hummed out, closing her eyes as she buried her face in her arms. Something she always did when she slept. You’d know. You spent so many nights just watching her as she slept peacefully.

You snorted. “God, you’re such a sap.” You spoke, continuing to play with her blue locks. “Your fault.” She retorted. A small smile remained on your lips as you sighed and cuddled close to her.

“Goodnight, Jinx.” You whispered softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She didn’t say anything, but you did hear her huff softly, and she cuddled closer into you.

Actions always speak louder than words.

[ghcstao3]

Civilian Soap x Ghost

Ghost is in the Scottish Highlands for something, everyone else only knowing him as a visitor. He bumps into Soap a few times and is invited to stay for a round of drinks whenever he wants a break.

Something goes wrong and there is no safe house, so Ghost has to ask Soap if he can stay.

Ghost promptly gets a family meal to welcome him. He ends up being well clothed, shelted and fed as he slots perfectly into their dynamic. Rather close to Soap as the night goes on.

By the end of the stay Ghost is freely cuddling Soap on the couch like a happy cat and might as well be purring.

Ghost doesn’t exactly remember when or how he met John MacTavish, but in this moment, he’s never been more grateful.

Stranded in Middle-of-Nowhere, Scotland, with his only option for a safe house being barely less than 200km away when a low-stakes operation had somehow gone to shit, Ghost is sitting in a decrepit phone booth, praying for John to pick up his phone.

There’s finally a click on the other end of the line, as painfully early in the morning as it is, followed by a sleepy, “H’llo?”

“Johnny,” Ghost murmurs. His initial checks had told him he hadn’t been followed, but just in case. “It’s Simon.”

John seems to brighten up at this. “Simon! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I—“ Ghost grimaces beneath his mask. “I need a place to stay. But I can’t… tell you why.”

“‘S no biggie,” John says, then yawns. “Can you tell me where you are? I assume you need a ride.”

Ghost rattles off what he thinks is the location after squinting at some yellowing and torn flyers pasted on the sides of the booth, and for a long moment is met with silence.

He begins to worry the line’s gone dead when John exclaims, “Oh! That’s closer to my parents’ than my flat. I was actually goin’ up for a visit soon but I’m sure we can rearrange some things. I can be there in… say two hours?”

“Sure, yeah,” Ghost agrees before be can give it any more forethought. Because, yes it’s a place to stay—but with John’s parents?

He can almost hear John’s smile through the line. “Perfect. See you soon, Si.”

John hangs up, and Ghost puts the phone back on the hook with a sigh. Now, he waits.

And definitely doesn’t worry about meeting John’s parents more than he should. He’s friends with John—why should it matter? It’s not weird.

It’s not.

Ghost slumps against the side of the phone booth and lets his eyelids fall shut.

* * *

It had taken maybe two and half hours for John to arrive, but the drive to his parents’ is only forty or so minutes. John happily chats Ghost’s ear off the entire way, catching him up from the last time they’d talked, skillfully avoiding any mention of the situation Ghost is in.

John does his best to reassure Ghost over and over that he had talked to his parents, they’re fine with him staying however long he needs to until something more official comes along, and it helps a little.

Ghost still feels guilty for intruding.

But true to his word, John’s parents greet him with friendly smiles and welcoming words, ushering Ghost into their home with the familiarity of old friends—or perhaps even family.

The guilt does wear down little by little, as pleasant conversation is made, and, just as John had, no questions are asked about Ghost’s circumstances. Ghost wonders if that’s John’s doing, or if John had fed them some story just to avoid it. Either way, Ghost appreciates it.

He’d rather not think of his next steps for just a little while, as Price is surely piecing some of it together for him.

Ghost is made dinner later in the evening, and all three MacTavishes present insist there’s no issue in Ghost occupying John’s room for the night (he’d already promised to leave the next day, even if that means he winds up in a hotel instead).

He takes the couch anyway. He ignores the look John’s parents share when Ghost says, “It’s Johnny’s room, and I’m only here for one night,” ignores the blush that spans from John’s ears down his neck when they mouth ‘Johnny?’ in his direction.

And now, Ghost stands in the emptied out living room, just taking a moment to breathe. Because while he’s eternally grateful for the hospitality, he’s just a little worn out.

“You’re allowed to sit, you know.”

Attention pulled away from his thoughts, Ghost glances to John, who’s smiling crookedly as he holds an armful of pillows and a thick blanket. He dumps them on the sofa, plops himself down, and pats the seat beside him.

Ghost sits, and as he sinks into the cushions, realizes just how exhausted he is.

“You don’t have to tell me,” John is saying, “I mean, I know you can’t—but is this… was it a work thing that brought you here?”

Ghost hums an affirmative. His body is taking over before his mind can think twice, leaning over enough to rest his head on John’s shoulder. Tired, is all he can think. John laughs.

“There, there,” he teases. “Big scary military man’s a little sleepy, is he?”

Ghost swats at John with a mumbled shut up.

Civilian or not—there’s always been something different about him. With him.

John snorts. “Well, c’mere, then. Don’t be shy.”

Ghost complies easily, tucking further into John’s side like it’s second nature. Like it’s been months since he’s last seen the man.

Friends, is how Ghost has thus far labelled them. How Price would laugh his ass off hearing that.

At some point John begins to card his fingers through Ghost’s hair—he’s never worn the mask around him, never felt the need to—and between that moment and the next, Ghost is fast asleep, curled up with John like something a little more than just friends.

Fleetingly, Ghost thinks, just moments before his brain shuts off—I should visit him more.

[fanbasetwo]

Hii love! I couldn’t tell if your asks are open or not but I wanted to request reader having their first kiss with hao </3☹️

I love your writing so much btw! 🤍

NOTE : my asks are always open but you can still check it out on the pinned post where I do mention the ask status (if it's closed or not) this is my first hao ask btw + tysm for the compliment, I'm glad you enjoy my works 💕 MASTERLIST!!

You and Zhang Hao had been together since high school. When it was time to grow up and explore job opportunities, the two of you managed to make long-distance work, though you’d always joked about who’d be the one to kiss first once you reunited. When Hao finally moved back to your city after landing a job, things shifted—not in a bad way, but definitely in a new direction. You both decided to live together because, honestly, after five years of dating, it didn’t feel like a big leap.

Still, there were moments of awkwardness, like when you’d share the same bed at night. Sure, you’d cuddle, but neither of you ever took it further—not because you didn’t want to, but because you were both too shy to take the first step. Every touch felt hesitant, every glance carrying the weight of unspoken feelings.

“Hao?” you whispered, nudging him gently. He was sprawled on the bed after a long day at work, clearly exhausted. You both split rent evenly, and lately, you’d noticed how much effort he put into his job. He hummed softly, his body shifting as he turned on his side to face you. Without a word, he pulled you closer, his arm draped around your waist.

“Did you have a hard time at work?” you asked, your voice barely above a murmur as your sleepy eyes met his. He blinked at you, his gaze warm yet hesitant, before one hand reached up to cup your cheek.

“It’s not work,” he said quietly, shaking his head slightly.

“Then what is it?” you pressed, your curiosity piqued.

He hesitated for a moment, his thumb gently brushing against your skin. “It’s about us,” he admitted, his voice soft but tinged with uncertainty. “Are you... not attracted to me anymore?” The question caught you off guard, and you frowned, trying to piece together why he’d think that. “Of course I’m attracted to you,” you replied quickly, your tone laced with confusion. “Why would you feel otherwise?”

He let out a small sigh, looking almost embarrassed. “Because... you never, you know... take any hints. And you don’t really drop any hints either. About wanting... my kisses.”

His words trailed off, his cheeks dusted with a faint pink as he avoided your gaze. You stared at him for a moment before giggling softly, the nervousness between you both dissolving just a little. “Is it because I smell?” he asked suddenly, his tone half-serious, making you laugh even harder.

“Hao, no!” you managed to say through your giggles, shaking your head. “I’m just... nervous.”

“Then... can we do it now?” Hao's voice was barely a whisper, his nose brushing against yours as his hand rested gently on your cheek.

“Right now?” you echoed, your heart racing at his sudden question. His shy yet eager nod made your cheeks flush, and though you wanted to take the lead, the thought itself made you feel timid.

“Okay,” you murmured, giving a small nod of your own.

Neither of you moved at first, the shyness between you lingering in the space where your breaths mingled. It was as though a silent agreement passed between you: close your eyes and let it happen naturally. You squeezed your eyes shut, nerves buzzing through your entire body. And then, it happened—a soft, fleeting brush of his lips against yours. The touch sent a jolt down your spine, warm and electric, leaving you breathless even in its gentleness.

Both of you were lying on your sides, facing each other, and though the moment was slightly awkward, it was perfect in its own way. You tried to remember the romantic scenes you'd seen in dramas and movies, hesitantly capturing his upper lip between your own. Hao followed suit, tentatively suckling on your bottom lip, his movements clumsy yet tender. The kiss was inexperienced, both of you unsure of what to do next, but that only made it more endearing.

Your lips moved together in a rhythm that was anything but polished, yet the emotions behind it made your chest feel tight in the best way. With every soft press, every subtle tilt of your heads, you felt your connection deepen.

It wasn’t perfect or seamless, but it was real, filled with the quiet love and nervous excitement you’d built over the years.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, faces mere inches apart as you opened your eyes. Hao’s lips were slightly parted, his cheeks glowing with a faint blush as he grinned at you.

“That was...” he began, trailing off as he searched for the right word.

You giggled, touching your lips lightly. “Messy?”

“Perfect,” he corrected, his gaze soft and adoring.

[signedeclipse]

r u taking requests 🥲? if u are can I ask for headcannons on muichiro, obanai, giyuu and shinobu x reader on what they would do if the reader is really tired and a huge sleepy head in general it would be so cute <333

Giyuu | Muichiro | Obanai | Shinobu [X Reader]

In which their s/o is always exhausted and has a hard time staying awake.

Giyuu

He himself was never a very high energy or high demand individual

But next to you, he looked like a kid during their first sugar rush

You were always either leaning him or tucked away on the most comfortable surface nearby, dozing off

No, you weren't apart of the corps, so he didn't have any reason to force you up

You had your own job and you did it when you had to, and when he was away he would always come back to a clean house with all the chores done, along with you napping in bed

To be fair, Giyuu just assumes this is normal

I mean, he would do the same if he could, but he had a lot of duties and training to tend to

He loves cuddling up with you though, you keep the bed nice and warm for him

Muichiro

Muichiro isn't really sleepy, but he does gaze off extremely often

You are both totally lost together, because he just found out the wind makes noise and you were half asleep on the floor

If you were in the corps, you'd never be sent on missions together because somehow together the effects are worse on one another

You do get your missions done when together, it just means less details are remembered and those can be extremely vital

When home, Muichiro makes you lay your head in his lap wherever he goes- usually outside- while he stares at something of interest and just thinks

One thing he does often is speak his thoughts out loud around you, because he knows you won't take it too seriously or make fun of the nonsensical things he comes up with

Sometimes he just stares at you, and wonders what you're dreaming about

When you wake up he tries to guess, he is only getting more accurate!

Obanai

It's not that he is very energetic, but Obanai likes to do small, menial tasks to keep himself occupied

It might be tending to Kaburamaru, small exercises, or renewing his bandages

He refuses to sit down, and even if he does, he will be working on polishing his blade, or eating a meal

For this, he makes you move a lot to wherever he is if he is home

Sleeping is something you do a lot, he knows you're always tired if you don't, so he doesn't want to force you awake or make you feel bad for it

Instead he just wants you to follow him when he moved to another area, and you can sleep there until he moves on again

It keeps you somewhat active, but also brings him comfort in knowing you'll still be there, even if silent and often unmoving

Shinobu

You were very comfortable to be around considering you were mostly silent or spoke in a melancholic tone

Since she was always studying or tending to others, it helped her plenty having someone like that around

Someone who would watch over her and encourage her to be productive while not distracting her from her work too much

But as a doctor, she also understood that if you stayed still in the comfort of the mansion too often, you might become deficient in important vitamins

" You have to go outside once a day, dear! It's not good for you to stay like this all day! "

She says it like it's fact, and she's probably right

So long as you go out once a day for a small walk she is happy

Set up a hammock on the porch of the butterfly mansion where you can sleep in the sun rays, so you get all the vitamins you need even while asleep

If she has a young slayer alone in any of the healing wards, she will ask you to sleep there so they feel better with company

Even if you are tired, she knows you'll get up to help someone who might need something or is becoming ill

Authors Note - Me too reader I love sleepin,,, I hope I was able to right up to your wishes, and thank you so much for requesting! This was pretty much all my most favourite hashira lol

[sunshinedeekay]

The Craving (DK’s version) || lsm.

pairing: dk x gn!reader

genre: tooth-rotting fluff

warnings: tbh none. just some kissing n hugging n stuff. slight cursing but not really

word count: just over 6k

author’s note: WOW okay hello. this has probably been a little longer awaited than i anticipated, but it is done now! the first idea on my previous post and first completed fic i’ll ever post on this account,,, and tumblr in general.

anywho, if you notice some odd spelling of some words (centre, colour) i am canadian, so things are normally spelled a little differently here. so i apologize if that throws you off 😭

but finally, i felt like i had to base a fic off of this song. after hearing the craving (jenna’s version) for the first time and seeing the video for it. i was brought to tears just because of how cute and sweet it was. i’m also a huge twenty one pilots fan, so that’s another part of me that went “WRITE THIS FIC.” so, here it is. i really hope you guys enjoy it :))

special shoutout to my bestie @wooziorgans for helping me with publishing, tags, banners, and also gassing me up to actually finish this and post this. you all should follow him as well because his posts are SO GOOD. he’s such a great writer.

divider by @cafekitsune

now, onto the fic!

~sunshinedeekay <3

“I don’t know why I can’t stop crying. I fear about getting old, and I don’t know a lot about you still…”

That was a voicemail that Seokmin constantly replayed in his long history of Y/N’s voicemails they had sent. He saved every single one. Even if it was the most mundane voicemail in existence, any sound of his precious Y/N’s voice was utter harmony to his ears.

He remembered that voicemail vividly. Waking up early in the morning to see a missed call and a voicemail from his partner of a few months. Y/N’s whisper sounded like they were crying, but also attempting to stay quiet and hold everything together. He remembered how nervous Y/N was of being good enough for Seokmin, and still not knowing a whole lot about him because they had only dated for a short amount of time. It crushed his heart to hear them like that.

He sent a plethora of loving words to them that day.

Now, here he was. Lied in an unfamiliar hotel bed in an unfamiliar hotel room. Darkness overcame the space, and the only light that shone was the screen of his voicemails. His thumb pressed the play button over… and over… and over. He kept thinking. Thinking more than actually doing, and that was what led him to the sinking feeling in his stomach. He felt so much guilt and remorse for what happened between them before he left for tour, and even if they talked after like nothing happened, it still lingered on his mind.

——

“You’ve been distant…” Y/N’s quiet voice brought up softly as Seokmin was cuddling their tired body that was still under the covers. He was up and ready to leave for SEVENTEEN’s short tour around the area. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Why would you think that?” Seokmin’s voice responded just as soft, if not even softer than Y/N’s sleepy tone. “I would tell you if something was wrong. You know that.”

“But you haven’t been telling me.” Y/N spoke back. Seokmin stopped in his tracks with that statement. “You’ve been out late at practice, always on your phone with something, and always sitting with that lost puppy look in your eyes. Every time I ask what’s wrong, you dismiss me.” Y/N continued as they slowly sat up and gently pushed Seokmin off. They finished their explanation with a rub to their sleepy eyes. “I’m beginning to worry there’s something you’re hiding from me.”

“Why would I hide anything?” Seokmin found himself getting defensive right off the bat. Why was he speaking like this? He never spoke like this right away to anybody, let alone Y/N who just asked a harmless question.

Y/N’s brows furrowed from the sudden defensive tone. Their nose scrunched with slight irritation. “I don’t know why you would. You never have before, so why do you seem to be now?” They spoke in the same tone back to him. Seokmin could tell that the way he spoke to Y/N irritated them.

“You act like I’m cheating or something.” Seokmin suddenly muttered. Then he thought about what he just said, and his eyes widened while his blood turned to ice. Did he really just say that? Even after he knew that was a sore subject for you? He cursed that dirtbag for even considering another woman over you… Now he just threw that out into the open.

“…What?” Was all that could come out of Y/N’s mouth. Their voice got quiet again, and their brows angled more with worry and irritation. “There’s no way you said that just now.” Despite the instant regret Seokmin felt for saying what he just said, he felt all of the stress from his planning and work bubbling over. He couldn’t stop himself from speaking now.

“Jesus, Y/N. I just wanted to say goodbye. I don’t have time to talk about this right now. Do you really not trust me enough to believe I could cheat on you?” Seokmin asked. His voice slightly sharpening with every syllable as he stood up and looked at his partner. His heart squeezed just looking at Y/N, their expression read as two parts confused, and one part hurt.

“Well excuse me for being a little worried and skeptical about your shady behaviour recently. You haven’t exactly been open and affectionate with me as of late.” Y/N started to argue. It was true. Because of Seokmin’s thinking and panicking about their relationship, he said less, and gave Y/N less affection than he normally did.

“Do I have to be clung to your hip the whole time in order for you to trust me? That’s a little much.” Seokmin retorted back. He slung his backpack over one shoulder and raised the handle of his suitcase.

“That’s not what I said at all, and you know it.” Y/N raised their voice slightly. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Seokmin.

“Well then I don’t know what you want from me, Y/N! It’s ridiculous that I change my routine with you just slightly and suddenly you think I could be cheating?” Seokmin just spoke without thinking. If current him could go back in time, god he would slap himself in the face. “I don’t have time for this. I gotta go before I’m late.”

“Fine. Leave.” Y/N spoke sharply. No “travel safe” or “I love you” spoken between either of them. Seokmin just left without a word, and probably too harsh of a slam of the front door.

——

Seokmin groaned internally thinking about that fight. Even though he apologized profusely over the phone to Y/N that night after he landed in Japan, he felt his heart still hurting. If he could explain everything, he would. But it wasn’t like that.

Truth be told, he was thinking about proposing to them.

He thought about it so much that it made him panic to himself. What if they weren’t ready? What if they said no? What if they realized they suddenly didn’t love him enough to want to spend a life with him like that? Sure, they had been together for about three years now, living together for one, and everything had been absolute bliss for Seokmin since then. But what if Y/N didn’t feel the same?

Seokmin continued to scroll his camera roll now. Having a folder made specifically for any of Y/N’s pictures or videos he would end up taking or saving. Every time he would look at a photo, the memory replayed in his mind.

Oh! Like the beautiful one of Y/N walking a trail full of looming evergreen trees. Dawned in a cute trench coat, a beanie, and a scarf he had bought for them just moments ago before that point. Their nose and cheeks were red from the cold, and their eyes were crinkled from their joyful, genuine smile.

——

“Take a few steps ahead, love! The scenery is perfect for a picture!” Seokmin told Y/N. His new camera he got for his birthday held in his chilled, slender hands while he placed it closer to his face to get a good frame.

Y/N didn’t even question it, but he could see the way they got flustered from him being so eager to take a picture of them. He knew they always got bashful when he insisted on taking a picture of them because that moment was just right. Even if the scenery wasn’t perfect, Y/N always was to Seokmin’s eyes. So a pretty scenery like this was just the cherry on top of an already delectable sundae.

Seokmin snapped a couple pictures, and as he looked back at them, his heart lept. Y/N looked so pretty. They were always so pretty. He couldn’t suppress the goofy smile on his face. He caught up to Y/N after taking the pictures with the same smile that started to ache his cold cheeks.

“Did they turn out good?” Y/N asked, but before they could even finish that breath, they felt Seokmin’s strong arms around their waist. Lifting them off their feet and spinning them in circles. Y/N burst into a fit of laughter, and held onto him tight.

“You’re so pretty.” Seokmin mumbled into their warm neck. He placed a lingering kiss against their supple skin. “I love you so much.”

——

Seokmin continued to scroll. Finding a video of him and Y/N playfully partner dancing courtesy of Seungkwan. There wasn’t any special setting, no special occasion, they were just dancing in their kitchen to the music playing on the TV. Both of their smiles infectious through the screen as they just looked happy to be with each other, and Y/N’s darling laugh as Seokmin tried (but ultimately fumbled) a complicated spin around. Seokmin wrapped his arms around his love, and the video ended.

There were so many little things. So many pictures that were taken at such different points in time. From fun and outdoorsy, to the mundane, soft, and intimate moments Seokmin got to share. All with one person. One person he knew he could and would love for the rest of his life. If Y/N wasn’t ready, he would wait for the rest of his days until they were.

He needed to let them know just how much he was ready for this next step. How much he loved them. He hated the thought of putting them on the spot like that, but goddammit, he would give Y/N the universe if they asked for it. Even if it meant taking a chance, and possibly taking some sense of security for such a big decision even for a split second. He would give them everything.

And that’s exactly what Seokmin was determined to do. He was gonna marry Y/N.

“So, I’ve had this idea for a while,” Seokmin started casually, sitting across Joshua in a secluded café the next morning. The warm sun comforting both of their bodies in addition to the lattes and pastries on a large plate in front of them. “But you have to swear to me that this stays between us. It goes to nobody else in the group or anybody else you know unless I say something to somebody else.”

This puzzled Joshua. He eyed Seokmin over his mug as he sipped from it for a lingering moment before setting the drink back on its saucer. He licked the frothed milk off his lips before he spoke. “Alright. What are you thinking about?”

Seokmin felt his heart begin to race in his chest once more as he nervously tapped his index finger onto the porcelain cup of his half-drank latte. He had to prepare himself to gain the courage to even say a few words- the main words- of his plan. How was he gonna explain everything he thought about the whole process?

“I…” His voice fell short for a moment. His throat forced a hard swallow before he sighed and tried again. “I’m proposing to Y/N.”

It was a good thing Joshua had his mug set down by now. Otherwise he’d have choked and had hot coffee spilled all over himself. Fortunately, only one of the two things happened. Except he choked on air when he heard Seokmin finally explain the summed up version of his idea.

He finished coughing a couple more times before patting his chest softly. “You’re being dead serious?”

“I’ve never been more serious than anything in my life.” Seokmin breathed. His brows furrowed in concern for his friend, but they quickly softened once he saw Joshua was fine. “I just,” he continued. “I was thinking about it all last night. Listening to their beautiful voice over the phone, looking over our old pictures and videos… It made me realize just how lucky of a person I am to have somebody as great as Y/N. They make me shine only the best parts of me, and I’ve never felt unsafe or uncomfortable around them once. I’ve thought about this for so long, and it was what was making me so off these past couple weeks. But now, I don’t think any other choice is a compromise.”

Joshua stared in awe, but the way his doe eyes twinkled when hearing Seokmin just open his heart up and speak truthfully about such a huge decision made his heart swell with pride for his best friend. Honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised if he cried at the wedding. “Seokmin…”

Seokmin looked to Joshua, and paused for a moment before continuing. The tapping on his mug stopped. “Every moment we’ve shared together has held a special place in my soul. Y/N is the most patient, loving, and perfect person I’ve been graced with. I want your help in carrying out the plan, and even the planning. I was thinking of asking Seungkwan as well, but I wanted to tell each of you this privately.”

Joshua couldn’t fight the smile on his face. He reached to take Seokmin’s nervous tapping hand and clasp it in a firm grasp. “I’ll do anything you need me to do. I’m so proud of you, Seokmin. You deserve Y/N and Y/N deserves you. To see the way you two have blossomed over the past couple years has been an honour, and I would love nothing more than to help you take the next step.”

Seokmin felt his eyes gloss slightly. He squeezed Joshua’s large hand with the same intensity as he gave him a tearful smile. His bright teeth in full view and almost glimmering from the morning sun coming through the window.

“I knew I could count on you.”

“Y/N-ah!~” Seokmin’s sweet sing-song tone would call out to his beloved partner. His feet scuttled from the kitchen to their shared bedroom, where a sleepy Y/N, probably only about half awake thanks to Seokmin’s loud voice, would lie.

“Min…” Y/N would grumble. Opening their eyes and squinting from the neutral light that now flooded the bedroom. “What time is it?”

“I’m sorry, lovebug, I know it’s early and you like your sleep,” Seokmin started. Straddling his partner’s legs to lean over them and slightly press his weight onto their body, peppering Y/N in delicate kisses. “But I have a big day planned. I’m making breakfast right now, so you can get ready while I finish. Dress nicely, because I’m pampering you, today.” He gave a cheeky grin. Leaning over to place one last kiss right in the centre of their forehead.

Y/N would laugh gently through their nose. They moved to lazily wrap their arms around Seokmin’s toned body and pulled him closer on top of them. “But you’re so warm and comfy like this…” They’d whine into his warm neck.

Seokmin would breathily laugh in return. He rested more of his weight onto Y/N’s body as he nuzzled his nose into their cheek and gave a lingering peck on their skin. “Mmm… But today is gonna be so fun. I know you’ll love it.” His voice was a sweet and low purr into Y/N’s ear. Something that could always make them shiver just from the sensation of his breath and the vibrations from his voice.

“Fine.” Y/N sighed and slid their arms from around Seokmin’s broad body. They lied flat with their arms sprawled out so he could climb off of them with ease.

Seokmin would grin like a child on Christmas while hovering over Y/N. Placing one more kiss onto their lips before climbing off. “That’s my lovebug. Trust me. You won’t regret it!” He exclaimed, then hurriedly shuffled his way back out to the kitchen.

Y/N pushed themselves up and sighed softly again. They looked over to the clock, 7AM. Jerk. As they rubbed the sleep from their eyes and face, they couldn’t help but wonder.

What did Seokmin have planned?

“Okay… And… Open!” Seokmin uncovered Y/N’s eyes. He had covered them some minutes ago to lead Y/N to a very special place for the both of them. One they would often go to when they needed a break outside, but also didn’t want to do anything too huge. In front of Y/N was the small café where they and Seokmin had their first date. Nothing had changed about it, despite it being a couple years since that fateful day, but that’s what always made the experience so wonderful each time they revisited.

“I had a feeling you’d bring me here.” Y/N teased Seokmin with a grin and a small poke to the right side of his ticklish waist. Seokmin would laugh and grab ahold of Y/N’s hand, lacing his long fingers with theirs.

“Yeah, yeah… But you don’t love coming here any less.” Seokmin chuckled and led them into the café. The little bell rang as the cyan door opened, and Seokmin held the door for Y/N to let them enter first.

Y/N entered and absentmindedly made their way towards the table they always sat at since that first date, but a sight of something caused them to stop in their tracks.

Already lied out on the table was Y/N’s favourite pastries and coffee. The beverage being made just the way they liked it. On the little cup, the word “Lovebug” was written beside it with a small heart beside it.

“Min…” Y/N would gasp softly. Bringing a hand over their mouth as they felt their heart swell from the sweet gesture.

“Yes, love?” Seokmin would have a loving grin on his face again. Bringing his arms around his lover’s waist as he pressed them up against him a little more. “Is everything alright?”

“Of course, yes! Sorry I’m just—“ Y/N tried to explain. But there wasn’t any words that could put together the amount of love and tenderness they felt in this moment for Seokmin. Maybe it was because they resolved their fight just the night before, but they also just felt… Happy. Overjoyed to have somebody like Seokmin who loved them enough to do this.

“It’s alright… Just sit down and enjoy. We can take whatever we don’t eat back with us to the car.” Seokmin reassured with his gentle tone. Moving his hands over Y/N’s hips to gently rub gentle circles around the bones with the pads of his thumbs.

The café date was everything Y/N could’ve dreamt it would be. They caught up with Seokmin, who told many stories about SEVENTEEN’s escapades during their tour, showing pictures, videos, and whatnot. But not to mention, Seokmin was just as lovey-dovey as he always was.

He held their hands over the table, under the table, gently grabbed their knee under the table and gave it a loving caress. But the way he looked at them…

Y/N had never noticed it before, maybe because they didn’t believe the people who told them all the time about how Seokmin looked at them, but they saw it now. His eyes glimmered with the sun whenever his attention was on you. His expression was bright, beautiful, endearing. They didn’t think it was true, but Joshua was right.

“He looks at you like you put stars in the sky.”

“Everything okay, lovebug?” Seokmin’s voice would bring them back to reality. Y/N suddenly looked up to Seokmin’s curious, and almost concerned expression since they had zoned out suddenly.

“Mm? Yeah. I’m all good.” Y/N reassured. Gently squeezing Seokmin’s hand that was holding theirs on top of the table. “Keep talking, I’m listening to every word.”

To let the food settle, Seokmin took them to a park next. One in the middle of town where they’d normally walk at any time of the day. Early morning, afternoon, middle of the night, you name it. They walked it.

Seokmin had Y/N’s hand in one hand, and the strap of his camera bag in the other. He was looking for a perfect scenery spot to take pictures. But not just of the trees, or that cute little bird that perched and twittered on the branch, no. He needed a picture of Y/N. One where he could capture the memory of this moment, of Y/N, before both of their lives would change forever.

“Y/N, go stand over there. Right under those trees. You see that little divot in the grass?” Seokmin tugged gently on Y/N’s hand to get their attention. Then leaned in real close to their side to point. He wanted to make sure they could see the spot, and that he wasn’t just crazy. But honestly? It happened more than he’d admit.

Y/N squinted to look for the spot. Seokmin looked over to their expression, and a small grin spread on his narrow cheeks. The way their nose scrunched always had his heart in a knot.

“I see it!” Y/N grinned. Slipping their hand out of Seokmin’s and making their way towards the spot. Seokmin was already getting his camera out. Taking test pictures to alter anything that made the picture look less than perfect. He then watched Y/N through the camera, and his heart pounded against his chest.

God. He was down horrendously.

“Now just look around. Don’t even worry about me being here. Just be you.” Seokmin instructed. Holding the camera up to his face as he carefully watched his loving partner through the lens. He couldn’t fight the goofy smile from his face.

Y/N would casually pose and look around. Smiling up at the little bird on the branch and even whistling back. Well— they attempted to, anyway. This made Seokmin laugh behind the camera.

When they saw Seokmin lower the camera, their attention caught glimpse of a group of pigeons. Picking from the ground and minding their own business. Y/N suddenly wondered how close they could get to the pigeons without startling them.

They took careful and slow steps to the group, and eventually found themself in the centre of the pigeon circle.

Seokmin looked up from his camera to where Y/N was before. They weren’t there? He looked around the area for them, and then found his partner standing in the middle of what looked like a pigeon cult. This made his chest ring with a hearty laughter as he took out his phone and started to video them.

“How did you get in there?” He laughed.

“I don’t know! I just walked in!” Y/N would respond with a giggle. Looking up to Seokmin and shaking their head when they noticed him recording. They continued to look down at the pigeons all strutting around them. Smiling when just watching their little mannerisms.

Suddenly, Y/N did a little hop. The pigeons went flying around them. They would laugh and shield their head. Rushing their way back to Seokmin, who was laughing even harder at this point. His dimples on full display as his eyes crinkled happily. He placed his phone away and took Y/N into his arms while they both still laughed.

After the walk in the park, things were staring to get a little darker now. The afternoon was setting into dusk, and the air stared to get a bite of chill within the breeze.

“We’ll head home soon. There’s just one more thing I need to do.” Seokmin smiled. His voice had suddenly gone more quiet. It faltered slightly. Was he suddenly nervous?

“Is everything alright, Min?” Y/N asked. Squeezing his hand to attempt to reassure him, even if they didn’t know what was happening.

“I’m more than alright, my love. Don’t worry.” Seokmin smiled. Squeezing Y/N’s delicate hand in return as he led them to another small place. An abandoned boardwalk over a lake not too far from the park. It was deserted. Not a single soul in sight.

The only sign of life Y/N could see on it, was a path made just for them to walk. Small candles bordered the pathway to lead them towards the end of the dock. Their flames danced elegantly in the breeze.

“Seokmin? What is this?” Y/N asked with a surprised laugh. A wide smile on their face as they gawked at the scene in front of them. They couldn’t help but pull out their phone and take a picture.

“Shhh… Just walk with me.” Seokmin grinned. Moving his arm to wrap around Y/N’s waist and pull them into his hip. Leading them through the path in a slow pace. Like one you’d take through an art exhibit. Y/N took in the sight around them. The clear sky showed the beautiful colours of the forming sunset, the gentle waves of the lake plopped onto the shore from the slight breeze. They felt their heart beat pulsing against their chest. What was all of this?

Seokmin, on the other hand, was quaking in his dress shoes. This was it. This was the final step to take before he asked Y/N the biggest question he’d ever ask in his life. He did his best to stay calm on the outside. Pulling Y/N closer and just walking in silence to let them take in the scenery. It was beautifully romantic. Seungkwan nailed it.

As they approached the end of the dock. There was a projector screen that came into view, as well as a plethora of rose petals, and a small rug that was lied down in front of the projector.

Seokmin guided Y/N by the small of their back to stand on the rug. Watching their expression light up and their jaw slightly hang open as the projection finally came on. What would play is little video memories of Seokmin and Y/N together. From when they first dated, progressing into more recent times. While a gentle song played in the background. One Y/N had sent to him when they first started dating.

“When you touch me, yeah I feel butterflies

I’m gonna love you ‘till the day I die.”

Y/N covered their mouth with both of their hands now. Feeling tears well up in their eyes as they continued to watch the compilation of videos. There were so many. Recorded by Y/N, recorded by Seokmin, or even from an outside source of one of their friends.

Seokmin stood carefully behind Y/N. Making eye contact with Joshua and giving a small nod of acknowledgement. Joshua followed the signal. Sneaking out from his hiding place to hand Seokmin the ring box.

Seokmin clasped his fingers around the box. Joshua placed his hand over Seokmin’s fingers and the box. Joshua gave Seokmin a silent encouragement through the reassuring touch. Seokmin nodded, feeling tears already well in his eyes as he smiled to Joshua.

When the slideshow looped again, Seokmin tucked the ring box in his back pocket. He approached behind Y/N and casually wrapped his arm around their waist. He took a moment to appreciate the new music playing. A peaceful, romantic piece that Woozi had put together just for this special night.

“We’ve spent so many memories together, haven’t we?” Seokmin started. His voice just above a whisper as he tried his best to keep his own emotions in check for this important moment.

“Min…” Y/N started. Looking up to Seokmin. But he took their hands in his and gave them a tender grin. Rubbing his thumbs over their knuckles as if he still didn’t remember how they felt off the top of his head.

“I love you, Y/N. I always get so scared I don’t say it enough.” Seokmin started now. His chest tightened with tears. He sighed softly and just kept himself grounded by rubbing his thumbs over their small knuckles. “But I really do love you. With all of my heart, my soul, my existence. I wouldn’t be who I am if you weren’t by my side. I don’t know who blessed me to have you, whether it was some sort of god, or the universe, or just something that drew us together. But I will always be thankful for what I have. That I have you.” His voice broke slightly. The tears making his vision blurry as he tightened his grip on Y/N’s hands. Bringing both of them up to gently place a kiss on each set of knuckles.

“You’ve been my world, my happiness, my inspiration, my muse… You’ve been and always will be all of these for me. And Y/N I— to imagine a life without you in it breaks my heart.” Seokmin continued. He gently lowered their hands, but kept them in his grip. Blinking back his tears to meet Y/N’s tearful gaze.

They already figured it out.

“Which is why…” Seokmin trailed off. Slowly bringing himself to his left knee. His gaze never leaving Y/N’s, and his heart leaping when he saw them gasp alight from surprise and start to choke out silent sobs.

“I want you to be my everything for the rest of my days, Y/N. I don’t see myself in the future with anybody else other than you. You complete me, you love me in ways that I’m sure you don’t even know yourself. You’re kind, patient, caring, selfless… You’re everything I could ever hope to achieve.” Seokmin’s voice now began to break. Seeing their tearful expression mixed with the overwhelming feelings of both love and fear made it impossible for him to hold back his emotions now.

“I don’t say enough how much I love you or appreciate you, and I feel terrible I can’t remind you every single day just how deep my feelings root for you. So… I hope that this can tell you just how much I need you with me.” He finally one of his hands out of Y/N’s. Reaching into his pocket to pull out the black velvet box and lifting the lid of it. He held it up to them. The ring was a beautiful silver. The jewel wasn’t just a diamond within it, but instead, a mix of amethyst, his birth stone, and Y/N’s birthstone. A(n) [insert birthstone].

“Y/N. I’m not perfect in loving you like you deserve. But I’ve never been more sure of this choice in my life. So my question is, do you want to love me for just as long? Will you marry me?” Seokmin finally asked. There wasn’t much silence between them in terms of words, but even the most brief pause felt like a million years. Was he pushing this too far too soon? Was Y/N not ready? What if he just put them on the spot all for nothing?

“Yes… God, Seokmin, yes.” Y/N choked out through sobs now. Frantically nodding their head as they covered their trembling lips with their free hand that still wasn’t in Seokmin’s.

Seokmin felt his world stop for a moment. They… They said yes?

“You… You will?” Seokmin stuttered out. His eyes going wide in surprise as his jaw hung agape. The tears were now flowing down his tanned and flushed cheeks full throttle now. They said yes. He couldn’t believe they just said yes.

“Yes!” Y/N nodded as they nodded frantically again. Feeling more sobs escape their chest as they looked over the ring, then to Seokmin. The Seokmin who had lived them better than anybody ever could, the Seokmin who was made of affection and tenderness, the Seokmin who was now on one knee wanting their souls to be dedicated to each other.

Seokmin quickly took Y/N’s trembling left hand and the ring out of the box with his other hand. Sliding it over their finger and looking over it now. It was beautiful. Just as amazing as he’d imagined. The best part was, it fit perfectly.

Now, Seokmin had pushed himself up to envelop Y/N in a tearful embrace. Sweeping them off their feet to wrap their legs around his waist as he quietly sobbed into their neck, while they did the same on him.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you so much.” He sobbed quietly. Moving one hand to the back of their hair to press their face a little more against his warm skin. He wanted them to be as close as possible.

“I love you too, Seokmin. With everything I have.” Y/N sobbed back. Clinging to him tighter as if it would be the last time they would ever hold him. But they both knew now that that was far from true.

Suddenly, cheers erupted from behind the embracing and tearful couple. Y/N would look up and realize that, indeed, Seokmin had help.

Seungkwan was throwing leftover rose petals in celebration, also crying with the two. Joshua was just crying and cheering for Y/N and Seokmin, a clear smile of pride written all over his tearful face. Wonwoo was clapping for the pair, his camera hanging from its strap over his neck as he had the widest smile out of the bunch. Soonyoung, standing next to Seungkwan, who was also throwing petals and shouting in victory like a viking going to war. Finally, a calm Jihoon and Minghao, well— calm compared to the rest. They were just as happy as everybody else, but weren’t the open crier types.

Seokmin set Y/N down, which caused Y/N to look back up to him with a trembling smile. Seokmin wouldn’t hesitate in taking their face between his hands and connecting their lips together in a deep, loving kiss. Wonwoo raised his camera to take a few more final pictures of the beautiful moment.

When Seokmin pulled away from Y/N, his forehead went to rest against theirs. Just closing his eyes and enjoying their new moments as an engaged couple.

“You won’t regret this. I’ll be the best husband anybody could have…” Seokmin promised through a whisper.

“I know you will…” Y/N whispered back. “I love you, Min.”

“I love you, too…”

As the group now worked to clean up the romantic scene, there was nobody short of a smile, or a stray tear. Joshua was clinging onto Seokmin from pure excitement, even though he wasn’t even the one that got engaged.

“Well,” Jihoon started. Approaching Y/N’s side and placing a gentle hand on their shoulder. “I guess the bad news from all of this is you’re really stuck with us now.” He joked with a slightly cheeky grin to his round face.

“Oh no, that’s gonna be terrible.” Y/N chided sarcastically as they playfully rolled their eyes.

“Listen, I’m just warning you now, this is your last chance to run for the hills.” Jihoon added. A chuckle leaving his chest as he finished. There were a few moments of comfortable silence between the two, before Jihoon tightened his grip slightly on Y/N’s shoulder.

“Welcome to the family, Y/N.”

[frenziedfireworks]

Sick

The HL boys reacting to their partner being sick!

(Garreth, Ominis, Sebastian)

masterlist

Garreth :

Garreth will make you as many potions as possible to help reduce symptoms/attempt to get you better. If you’re skeptical of them then he will try and find other ways!!

He asks Natty to help with soup or small things to keep you entertained while in bed. Books, little puzzles he creates, and stuffed animals.

“Babe you look terrible. I’m here to share my beauty.” (smack him)

He won’t mind cuddling and entertaining you with stories while you rest as well <3

You had stayed in bed for most of the day, hoping for the stupid cold you caught to go away. Much to your dismay, it did not. In fact, it only got worse. Your nose was stuffy and it felt like there were cats clawing at your throat at every swallow. 

“Babe? Are you good?” You heard a knock on your door and you jumped.

“Garreth?” You questioned as you waved the door open. He stood there grinning until he saw you.

“Oh no. Are you sick?” He ran over, putting his hand against your forehead to check for a fever. His eyes widened.

“You have a terrible fever. I can help with it. Let me make you a few potions and I’ll be back.” 

It wasn’t long before Garreth was back and setting a few vials on the bedside table.

“Here, drink this doll.” He put the liquid up to your lips and you drank. It helped almost instantly with your sore throat and you moaned.

“Feels a bit better huh? Got one more for you.” Garreth grinned at your bliss and fed you another strange potion. Almost instantly your sinuses cleared and you felt sleepy.

“This is so good. Thanks babe.” You murmured. The ginger just smiled and left a loving kiss on your head before getting up.

“Anytime baby. Get some rest and I’ll come check up on you later.”

Ominis :

He’s worried at first and then realizes you’ve just caught a cold. 

He makes sure to give you your space and makes you tea. He also goes out of his way to get medicines or herbs that will help!

“Here you are dear. Just rest.” As he places a blanket on you and pats you. Wholesome king.

Sebastian and Ominis were seated in the halls talking when an owl dropped a quick note. Ominis opened it quickly and used his wand to help him decipher the words. His eyebrows pinched together and he sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Sebastian asked and the boy shook his head.

“Y/N is sick and in the hospital wing. I am going to go check on them.” Ominis told his friend and he nodded.

“Tell Y/N I hope they feel better. I’ll see you later.” Sebastian went on his way as Ominis strolled down the halls. Eventually the hospital’s door opened and your eyes slowly moved to see him.

“Omi.” You groaned from your bed and he followed your voice. His hand reached out and you took it in yours.

“Darling are you alright? Are they helping you?” Ominis asked with worry. 

“Don’t worry Ominis. They gave me some medicine and it’s helped to stop most of the symptoms for now. I shouldn’t be this sick for long. I just wanted to make sure you knew I wasn’t ditching you.” You breathed out and he nodded along. He gave your hand a quick squeeze and pulled the covers over you a bit more.

“Thank you for telling me. Just rest up and you’ll be better in no time, love.” 

Sebastian :

He worries too much.. a little too much. 

“Oh my god how did I not notice. Don’t worry I won’t let you die.” “Sebastian, it's a cold.” “You never know babe.”

He’s surprisingly good at keeping track of medicine and helping you to eat. He does anything and everything so you don’t move a muscle.

He does not care about getting sick himself and will lay with you all day if you’d let him. He wants to make sure you’re okay and taken care of at all times.

You had come down with a bad cold and not gone down for breakfast. You knew your boyfriend would already be scouting around looking for why you had ditched them. You let out a cough as you heard the door to your dorm open.

“Sebastian? How did you get in here?” You croaked as the boy ran over to your bedside.

“Merlin’s beard! Y/N you’re sick!” Sebastian breathed out and looked around. “Don’t worry baby I won’t let you die. Not on my watch.” The boy went around the room fetching tissues and some medicine thrown around. Your heart fluttered at the care and he sat down next to you. 

“It’s just a cold Sebastian.” 

“Yes and next it could be pneumonia or something! Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to nurse you back to health.” He grimaced as he read at the cold medicines instructions. You decided not to say anything, knowing that he was worrying so much because of his past with Anne. It couldn’t hurt to let the boy fawn over you anyways.

“Okay Doctor Sallow.” You teased and then turned to cough again. You hated when you got like this.

“Oh shush. Take this. I’m going to get you some water.” Sebastian paced the room and grabbed at the jug while you swallowed the terrible tasting concoction. He handed you the glass and you drank away, feeling the burning in your throat quell for only a second. Your bed sheets moved and Sebastian laid right beside you.

“Would you like to cuddle?” He whispered and your body relaxed.

“You’ll get sick, Seb.” 

“Nonsense. Come here darling.” Sebastian yanked at your form and laid your head on his chest, fingers rubbing away at your scalp.

“Get some rest. I can’t have my baby being sick.” His lips left a delicate kiss on your temple as you closed your eyes. You were so glad to have him. Even if he was a little over the top.

[jocelynscrazyideas]

Just friends? pt. 2 | Matt Rempe x Reader

pt. 1

Summary: making your way up to your dream job was difficult, but leaving it may be harder that ever.

Warnings: language, small portion of smut, eating, THE NOTEBOOK IS MENTIONED😛🥲

A:N- it’s really short but yuhh

━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━

It’s been a good month of dating my bestfriend. I’m just scared that if anything goes wrong, that we wouldn’t be the same.

I’ve understood that when or I should say, If we breakup, we of course won’t be friends, but I wnat to talk. Keep up in life. Support him.

Matt has made it clear that it’s me, and only me. I know, dating an nhl player will be hard, because there is always someone out there thinking your boyfriend is cute.

“Dumper?” Matt calls out for me. I’m getting ready in his bathroom. Today, it’s the first day in off season. The rangers had won the third round of playoffs, but we didn’t make it to the end.

You might be wondering why Matt calls me dumper. It’s a long story, taht im glad to walks down with you.

~memory~

“Matt!” I groan as he thrusts into one last time. He releases into me, I feel I’m going to cum as well.

“You cum dump.” Matt laughs out. He cleans us up, and stands up to throw the tissues he used to clean up away. “I do not!” I yell out, I know I do. It makes sense to me.

Why would I cum in like five different times if I feel I’m going to release at one time?

Matt comes down onto me and kissed me from my knee up. He hits my neck and sucks down until I feel nothing.

“Nice hickey.” He chirps at me.

“Oh yeah? I wonder wher i hit it from.” I sarcastically joke with him. He gets hurts from that and lays down on my bare chest.

His brown hair all over.

It’s dark. Bedroom lights are off and the only thing lighting the house is the stars.

He cuddles into me for a few hours while I talk and yap about school, and when I should get my job.

~

“Where are you?” Matt yells for me.

“Bathroom! I have the interview today!” I let Matt know that I’m fully booked, and don’t have time for him.

“Well can we watch a movie tonight? Play some uno!” Matt asked me as he walks into the bathroom. His warm chest connects like a puzzle into my back. He leans into me and kissed my neck. He lays his fluffy hair into the crook of my neck. “I love you.” Matt whispers into my ear.

“Three months.” I say. I pushed him off my shoulder and cussed at him.

“Hey shithwsd?” I laugh at him.

“Hm?” Matt moans in his sleepy voice.

“Go shower. I’ll drive you down to the office.” I follow up. Matt has locker clean out today, many last minute interviews and press conferences.

~

I dropped Matt off at the arena and sat in my car.

Maybe he’s the one for me. The one guy that I won’t mess up with.

~

“Hey baby! How was the interview?” Matt asked me as I walk into the kitchen. Matt is cooking us some dinner and I set my purse down. I fall on the couch.

“That bad?” Matt questioned.

I felt my heart drop. How do I tell him, “No it was good… it’s the fact they don’t have an official employment spot for me here in New York. If I took the job, I would have to move to Wyoming.”

Yeah, no.

“Um, it went pretty well.” I replied, my high pitched cracky voice squeaked out. I think Matt knows I’m stressed. I’m sure I have actual sweat droplets swimming down in my face.

“You’re lying.” Matt looked down at me. He standing above me form the couch.

“No im not.” I laugh out. I stand up and dance with him back to the kitchen.

“Oh my love. My little baby.” I say as I rest my head into his chest. He smiles down at me and he picks me up.

“Give me.” Matt gestured to my foot as he set me down on the counter top.

I eye the stove that he left on. “What are we eating tonight?” I ask him. I try to distract myself.

God. Maybe I shouldn’t take the job.

He looks back at the side over his shoulder, and continues to take off my left shoe. My right foot is hanging and I kick him.

“Oh, uh I made some eggs, just so we could eat some toast and eggs. I was lazy, sorry.” Matt explained. He turned red in embarrassment.

“No. It’s perfect.” It’s the little things. I have to take things into consideration, not just the fact he does big gestures. He does this small thing that matters to me. Like, cooking dinner every night. Or just listening to me talk. Even if he doesn’t care, or deep down isn’t listening, he still looks like he cares.

Matt smirked and he dropped my left foot, only to un tie my right shoe. Once he finished he picked me up and kissed me. “What movie?” Matt asked me as I sit in our couch.

He plates everything into a large bowl and hands me a few slices of apples. “You’d be such a great dad.” I muttered.

“I’m sorry. A father?!” Matt exclaimed. He looks me up and down, smirking. Teeth out. His eyes look at me, I feel him leaving closer.

He grips onto a blanket as he sits down on the couch right beside me.

He turns the TV on to play the notebook.

~

I cried at the en of the movie. Matt holds me as he sleeps in my arms. He snores and he shakes as I weep and cry.

Matt looks up as his head rested on my breasts. “Are you okay? Why are you crying?” Matt mumbled. He rubs his eyes once he kissed my left boob.

He gets up and puts out dishes away. He cleans up the couch, and picks me up. “The movie that sad?” Matt asked me. I understand this season was hard so I let him sleep during the movie.

“You’ve never watched The Notevook?” I inferred, I look outside our window and Matt sets me down.

“I have, but I always fall asleep.” He looks at me and he pulls his clothes off. He’s left in his under set and I do the same. I unclamp my bra and lay in bed. I slide my panties off and lick them to the floor.

Matt fliers with me and he tightens his arms around me.

“I love you.” Matt reminded me, for the hundredth time.

“I have to move, if I take the job.” I let out.

Matt loosens his grip and he breaths in. “So take the job.” He said.

“It’s hard, but we can always fly out together.” Matt implied. We lay in bed. Not thinking about anything, well other than the fact I could leave.

Right when life gets good.

[ask-irisstar]

A fluff sanji x reader story where sanji is having a hard time falling asleep (perchance to his odd sleeping schedule.) and Reader helps him go to bed??

Helping Sanji go to sleep

AN: *takes a deep breath* Ok so... My inbox already has like 5 Sanji asks and this one really caught my eye. I think this is SUPER cute so thanks anon for requesting!! I might be slow in answering asks because of exam period and I have a BIG performance coming on 2 May. However, I'll try my best!!

Notes: Fluff, Sanji x GN reader, Fluff, SFW, quite short I'm sorry, Brook and reader are besties, Reader steals from Zoro, Sanji being a jealous idiot

You couldn't help but feel Sanji tossing and turning in bed beside you. Getting annoyed with your lover's actions, you turned to face him with a light scowl on your face. However, it immediately disappears when your eyes met with sleepy blue eyes. Your blonde boyfriend is exhausted, but according to how restless he is, he can't fall asleep. Gently, you slowly cupped his tired face.

"Baby... You've been tossing for hours... Is something wrong?" You asked, fingers tracing his eye bags.

Sanji shook his head and took your hands, "No dear... I'm fine... Just can't sleep..." He admits, voice laced with drowsiness.

You felt bad for the man beside you. So sleepy, yet can't sleep. Whenever you felt restless and sleepless, Sanji is always there to help you go to sleep. Now, seeing that he is the one that needs help, you didn't hesitate to do so.

"C'mon, follow me to the kitchen... I know something that might help..." You say, taking his hand and dragging a tired Sanji out of bed.

Reluctantly, Sanji obeyed, following you to the only place on the ship he has authority over. In the kitchen, you poured some milk into a glass and slide it over to him. Sanji caught the glass with ease and shot you a questioning look.

"Drink it... It'll help make you sleepy..." You say, smiling gently at your lover.

Sanji stares at you suspiciously for a beat before chugging down the milk. When he's done, you both went to bed and see whether it works. Unfortunately, it didn't work. However, you aren't out of ideas yet. It was a chilly night today and the blanket you two shared is small and thin. You sneakily snuck into Zoro's room and stole his blanket. He's on night watch today so he won't mind. The worst that could happen is that he and Sanji will fight about it the next day. You went back into the room and threw the big green blanket over the two of you. And to sweeten things up, you cuddled near Sanji, providing extra warmth.

However, despite being so cozy and warm, Sanji still couldn't fall asleep. You both were desperate now. Everything you tried didn't work. You tried tiring him out by doing some midnight training, a hot shower, a quick snack, EVERYTHING. And yet, the blonde haired cook still couldn't sleep.

"Give it up Y/N... This useless... Go to sleep... I don't want you tired tomorrow because of me... Besides, we have a long day tomorrow..." Sanji said pushing you back into bed despite your resistence.

"No Sanji, I'm not sleeping until I know you are asleep beside me..." You reply, sitting back up.

Sanji sighs, "But we tried everything mon amour..."

You smirk slyly, "Not everything..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"NO! There is NO way I'm letting that perverted skeleton into our room!" yelled Sanji, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

You rolled your eyes. You and Brook are best friends and nothing more. Yet, Sanji still gets jealous.

"Trust me Sanji, this will help you..." You pleaded, making puppy eyes.

Sanji groans, but relents, "Fine, but if that skeleton so much stares at you, I'm kicking him..."

When Brook enters your bedroom, you requested him to play some soothing music on his violin. He compiles and plays a melodic tune to help Sanji fall asleep. Almost immediately, Sanji's eyes grew heavy. You grab him by the shoulder and pulled him into bed beside you.

"Sleep baby..." You whisper into his ear, tracing random patterns onto his back.

"I love you mon amour... Good night...."

Those were the last things you heard from Sanji before snores came from him. You smiled and snuggled closer to the blonde.

"Good night babe..."

And with that, you two fell into a deep slumber, Brook's soothing music playing in the background.

______________________________________________________________

And that's a wrap! Hope you enjoy this anon! Please sent in any more request you have! You can even request other characters! I'm going to go work on my other Sanji asks now!

Link to the song Brook is playing:

[minisugakoobies]

Paradise | JJK - Thirteen

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: smut, neighbors to lovers (not quite friends but not quite strangers), slow burn, love triangle, Stripper!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: new pov 👀, grinding, fingering, oral sex (m + f receiving), hand job, shower fun, mentions of roleplaying, mentions of biting (always get consent!), a bit of exhibitionism, lots of teasing, texting dirty photos, dirty talk, deepthroating, cum eating, but also a lot of cuddling because Jungkook is pretty whipped y'all and so is reader, Jungkook has to deal with a nasty drunk customer, 2021 AMAs Jungkook is the wedding visual

Word Count: 9.5k

Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: That sexy man on stage - the one currently giving your friend the lap dance of her LIFE - is your super shy neighbor, Jeon Jungkook?!

A/N: Fuck, it’s been a while since I updated, huh? Sorry about that! I got busy with holiday fics, and then my life kinda fell apart for a while and writing was the last thing I had time for. And then I had a difficult time with this chapter because I’d decided the story was only going to be 15 chapters and I was trying too hard to wrap things up too quickly… so guess what? Paradise is not ending with chapter 15! I hope you’re still enjoying the story, because it’s gonna go on a bit longer. How long? I don’t know! We’ll find out together! 💕

Song lyrics are from "Notice Me" by SZA

Thanks to @minttangerines for taking a look at this one! Please don’t be a silent reader, I’d love to hear from you! Taglist is open. 💕

Previous Chapter ♦️ Paradise Masterlist ♦️ Next Chapter

************************************************************************

Alarm clocks are such a cruel invention. 

There’s little worse than a tiny machine whose only purpose is to violently jar you from peaceful sleep by means of unholy bleating and throw you directly into your day. Really, whoever invented the alarm clock had to be a sociopath.

These are the sleepy thoughts that run through Jungkook’s head as your alarm clock tears him from his sleep Friday morning. Eyes still closed, he feels you shifting beside him, and then there’s a slapping sound and the annoying beeping ceases. Your heavy sigh makes him smile. 

“You know, I’ve always hated your alarm, too,” he mumbles, remembering your confession about his alarm the other night. 

“It did not occur to me until this moment that you can hear that every day,” you admit, and he laughs, opening his eyes. 

He presses himself forward against your back, burying his face in the nape of your neck to breathe you in. He can smell the faded sweat from last night’s multiple rounds where it still clings to your soft skin. It’s insane to him, how everything about you is wonderful, down to even the smell of your sweat. He hears you sigh again, a happy sound that makes his heart beat faster, and you scoot closer, threading your fingers through his. 

“Mmmhmm,” Jungkook hums. “S’okay, I usually just fall back asleep. But I really hate it today, because it means you’re getting up, right?” Obviously you have to go to work. Or login or whatever it is you do with a work from home gig. He tightens his grip when you start to pull away, whining into your skin. “Noooo, don’t leave me.” 

“Kookie!” you huff amusedly. He gives up when you persist, twisting yourself onto your side so you can peer at him while he pouts. Your fingers pinch his bottom lip playfully as you eye him, an exuberant grin on your face, and he wants to roll you onto your back and cover your face in kisses until you’re breathless with laughter.

You sigh again. “Does anyone ever say ‘no’ to this face?” 

“Nope,” he lies gleefully, lips turning up in a smirk as your arms loop around his neck. “Don’t tell me you’re about to try. You can’t.” 

“Actually, I was about to tell you that I hit the snooze button, so you’ve got me for at least another five minutes.” Lightly, you kiss him. He follows your mouth when you pull away to speak, so that you end up breathing the words onto his lips. “Better make them count.” 

The delighted giggle you let out when he swiftly rolls you onto your back sends him to the moon. He brings himself back down to earth by covering your mouth and body with his own, his hands reaching for your thighs, prompting you to wrap your legs around him and keep him close. 

He feels you start to squirm against him and takes the hint, easily flipping the two of you over so that you’re on top. “Shit, jagi,” he hisses as you roll your hips, grinding your core against his. He can feel how wet you are through where your cunt drags against his naked cock. You’re always so wet for him. He’s definitely getting a big head about it. 

That damn alarm clock of yours goes off again, and you groan, sliding from Jungkook’s lap to reach for the machine. Jungkook remains tangled up in your sheets, one arm behind his head as you climb off the bed. 

“You, uh, you don’t have to get up now, if you don’t want to. I know it’s early for you. I don’t mind if you want to sleep a little more here.”

He watches as you hurriedly drape yourself in a big t-shirt before turning back to face him. You’re so cute like this, when you get shy in front of him, as if he hasn’t seen every inch of you by now. As if he doesn’t want to see every inch of you. There’s nothing you need to hide from him. 

But you seem a little more nervous than usual. Is it because he slept over? He hadn’t intended to, but after the third round last night, you’d fallen asleep on him yet again, this time literally, draped across him, with your head tucked against his neck, and he’d been too enamored to move you. Your soft breathing must’ve lulled him to sleep. 

The offer to let him stay and sleep in is sweet, but he’s wide awake now. “Nah, I’m up.” 

“Okay. Um, just take your time getting up, I guess.” 

Jungkook can’t help but appreciate how awkward you’re being right now. Makes him feel better about his own clumsiness with stuff like this. He always over thinks things when it comes to relationships. Not that this is a relationship. Unless it is, but only if that’s what you want, too. 

Shit. Prime example right there. 

You’re slowly backing towards the door. Jungkook’s not sure if that’s because you don’t want to leave him or because you’re still trying to keep him from seeing your naked ass under that shirt. Seriously, how are you so cute? 

“I’m gonna go shower.” 

He can’t help himself. “Want some company?” 

You bite your lip, contemplating, and he smirks. He’s not a betting man but he’s pretty sure he knows what your answer is going to be, so he rises from the bed, hard cock slapping against his stomach as he crosses the room. Once his arms are around you again, you sigh. “I’m gonna be late, aren’t I?”

Jungkook grins cheekily. “Depends on how you want it.” His hands roam over your backside, squeezing the soft flesh there. It’s an understatement to say he’s a fan of your ass. He drops a smack on one cheek and you let out a cross between a yelp and a laugh. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Jeon Jungkook.” 

Stealing your giggles away with a kiss, he shuffles the two of you towards your bathroom, only allowing you to break away long enough to turn on the water. Under the spray, he reclaims your mouth again with needy lips. An electric current runs through him every time you moan, and soon he has you pressing your palms into the tiled wall as he slides his fingers into you from behind.

Jungkook’s shy, but he’s not chaste. He’s never had trouble finding someone on the nights when he’s needed to lose himself in someone else. Especially once he started working at Paradise. At first, he’d tried to resist fucking his patrons. Didn’t want the lines to blur too much. But eventually, he caved, too easily flattered by the women throwing themselves at him - literally, some nights - too easily tempted by the pleasures they promised. 

He’d go home with them and then slip out in the morning, before they woke. Never wanting more than just a memory. He lived this way for the longest time. It was easy, especially for someone like him, someone who used his onstage cockiness to hide his shyness. Required no real thought, no real effort - beyond, of course, what he gave in the bedroom. Or the shower. Or, more than once, in the car. He always made sure they were satisfied. 

So he doesn’t lack experience. But being with you is like nothing he’s ever felt before. Maybe it’s the newness of this physical connection between you that is driving the way he wants you all the time. Like all the time. Or maybe it’s something else. 

Whatever it is, he wants more than the memory of a wild night. 

These thoughts swirl through his mind as he slams a hand on the wall right above yours, steading himself so he can thrust his other hand into you harder, faster. He tries to shut down the thinking part of his brain as he focuses on the moment, letting the sensations take over.

Slick skin slides against slick skin. The warm water rushing over you both gets in his eyes, his mouth as he drops to his knees, but he doesn’t care. 

“Fuck, Kookie.” 

Your words reverberate in the resonant space, a chorus of praise that fills the room. He’s the one kneeling, worshipping, but you’re the one praying. All he feels is you.

“Come on, baby, I know you’re close. Just let go.” He grabs at your waist, making you arch your back a little so your ass sticks out. Once you’re in the right position, he tilts his face up and licks along the wet slit where his fingers just were. 

Jungkook loves eating pussy. He could spend hours between your legs, face buried in your sweetness, coaxing orgasm after orgasm from you. It makes him feel almost powerful, knowing he can make you come apart so quickly. Confident, in a way he’s rarely known off the stage.

He feels that way now, even though he’s in a rather vulnerable position, crouching in your crowded little bathtub with your thighs on either side of his head. You could crush him with those, so easily. And he’d use his last gasping breath to thank you. 

“Kookie, goddamn, that’s - ah - oh, that’s so good!” You press your cheek into the wall, trying to keep your balance as you push your hips back, seeking more of his hot mouth. “Please, oh fuck, please don’t stop!” 

There’s no way he’d stop now. He hums into you, loving the way you shudder in response. As your hips begin to rock, dragging your cunt over his eager tongue, he brings his tattooed hand up to press into your clit, tracing tiny circles into the throbbing nub like he’s drawing a bullseye, aiming oh so carefully for the center.

You cry out so loudly when your climax hits. Jungkook feels his dick twitch just from the way you say his name. Before he’s finished licking you clean, you’re reaching for him, pulling him up to join you. He rises obediently as you wrap your hand around his aching cock and begin to stroke. 

“Jagi,” he grunts, hips jerking erratically into your hand. His eyes fall shut. His mouth blindly finds yours, kissing you desperately as you twist and tug and then he’s painting both your stomachs with his hot seed before the warm water splashing over you washes it away. 

He’s content to let you take the lead when you kiss him this time. Your hands slide into his hair, nails scraping the nape of his neck, and he groans, pulling you closer. He knows you should probably get moving or you’ll be late, but he doesn’t want to stop holding you, and it doesn’t seem like you want to let go, either.

Eventually, though, you climb out, handing Jungkook a towel while wrapping one around yourself. He wrings the water from his long locks before knotting the soft cotton around his waist as he follows you back into your bedroom. When you turn to look at him, something in your eyes makes his pulse race. 

“What are your plans for today?”

Jungkook pulls his sweats back on as you throw on a loose shirt and some shorts. “Don’t really have any, other than work tonight.” He’d traded shifts with Bang Chan so he could have tomorrow night off to attend your friend’s wedding with you. Something he’s equally excited and nervous about, though he’s doing his damnedest trying not to show it. 

He can tell from your stories and from the few times he’s seen you with your friends that you’re incredibly close. And he gets the vibe that your friends are pretty protective of you. Especially Jisoo. Jungkook finds her pretty intimidating. Even if both Taehyung and Jimin swear she’s a sweet little kitten. Hard to trust their judgment when they’re both so lovesick. 

You’re still looking at him, though you seem deep in thought. Finally, you nod. “Okay. I’m taking today off, too.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, fuck it, I need a break from that place. And yesterday was so nice…” you shrug, playing with the drawstrings at your waist. “Maybe we could hang out again? Since you’re free?” 

Jungkook’s starting to worry about the effect you have on his heart. Right now, it feels like it might just float straight out of his body and through the ceiling. 

“I mean, if that’s what you want…” he replies, hoping his tone sounds calmer than he feels. How’s he supposed to play it cool when such a simple question makes him so happy like this? 

You slide off the wall, stepping closer until you place your hands on his chest. “It’s what I want,” you confirm, brushing your lips against his. He feels you smile as he tries to deepen the kiss, but you dance away from his grasp. “Let me email my boss quick, and then I’m all yours.” 

It’s amazing how much he wants that to be true. Jungkook watches you walk away, hips swaying, and it hits him suddenly - he’s fallen so, so hard for you. 

Fuck. Whatever he does now, he can’t mess this up. Like he always does. 

“Do you want some breakfast?” Your voice calls to him from your kitchen and he snaps out of his thoughts.He finds you rummaging through your cupboard, grabbing bowls and a box of cereal. 

He munches away happily while you take a seat at your desk. “So you like working from home?” Jungkook loves dancing at Paradise, but he’s thought about camming a few times. It’d be nice to skip the commute. And the grabby customers.

“I fucking love it,” you answer, making him laugh. “I hate it when I have to go into the office. Everyone’s so loud there, all hopped up on stale coffee from the break room. Plus, I really hate having to abide by the dress code. I work better in joggers and comfy t-shirts, but some people aka my boss think that’s unacceptable.” You roll your eyes, scrolling through your email. “Ugh, I need to follow up on some of these. Shouldn’t take long.”

Jungkook tries to picture what you must look like at your office. He imagines you sitting behind a large desk, dressed in a smart suit, something like what he’s seen someone wearing in a movie, with a sharply tailored jacket clinging to your curves and a tight pencil skirt, maybe a little tighter than strictly necessary, and then his reverie shifts. Now you’re standing in front of your desk, palms pressing into the shiny surface as you bend over in that tight little skirt, and - 

Wow, he needs to get a hold of himself. He lowers his bowl a little to cover the half-chub he’s sporting, and remembers something relating to suits. “Hey, for the wedding tomorrow - is it black tie?”

“Shit, I’m sorry, I really haven’t said much about the wedding, have I?” You twist in your chair to glance at him. “It’s not a super fancy ceremony. You can just wear, like, a nice suit, if you have one?”

“All my suits are tearaways.” 

“Oh. Oh.” You blink as you realize what he means, and then he laughs. With your eyes wide like that, you kind of resemble a deer in headlights - an expression he’s come to adore, since he sees it frequently. 

“That was a joke. I have normal suits.” He takes your hand and kisses the back of it. “It’s really too easy sometimes.” Flustering you is his favorite new hobby. He’s kinda proud of how good he is at it. 

“Shut up.” You press your lips together in what looks like annoyance, but he knows you’re fighting back a laugh. He grabs your empty bowl, heading for the kitchen. “Anyway, about tomorrow, I’m gonna get ready with Jennie and the other girls, so I’ll meet you at the hotel before the ceremony. I did tell you where the wedding is, right?” 

“You did. The Black Swan.” 

Another reason Jungkook is rather nervous about tomorrow. The Black Swan is an expensive, high-end luxury hotel in the heart of downtown Seoul. Clearly your friends are doing pretty well if they can afford to get married at the hotel’s famous rooftop venue, overlooking the entire city. He bets they all have prestigious jobs or something, like lawyers and professors and doctors. 

“Right! Okay, good, at least I told you that much. Sorry, my brain’s just been all over the place lately.” 

He just hums sympathetically, lost in his own messy mind. Thinking about the rooftop makes him think of that night at Dionysus, when he’d gotten too drunk, sulking over the fact that you were on a date with someone else…

Oh shit. Jungkook pauses mid-pour of a second bowl of cereal. Are you still seeing that guy? It’s been a while since you’ve said anything about him. Seokjin. Kim Seokjin, the super successful chef. Jungkook had checked out his YouTube channel after seeing the two of you in the hallway that one time. The guy seemed to have it all - talent, good looks, and you in his arms. 

But does he still have you? Does Jungkook, for that matter? Maybe he shouldn’t think in such terms. How can anyone really “have” anyone, anyway? 

It’d be okay for him to ask you about Seokjin. Right? There was that whole competition or whatever… He closes his eyes, trying to calm his thoughts. Relax, dude, you’re spiraling. 

“Oh shit!”

Jungkook pops his head out of the kitchen at your shout. “What? Is there another spider?” 

“You’re not gonna let me live that down, are you?” 

“Nope.” He pops the ‘p’ before chomping down on another spoonful, crossing the space to stand beside you. 

“Well, it’s nothing bad. My friend Wendy, the one I told you about, that I used to work with? She said someone quit unexpectedly and her company needs to hire someone immediately for some sort of new project, so she wants to know if I would be interested in coming in for an interview!” 

You beam up at him, and he’s honestly not sure if it’s the sugar rush or just you, but he feels a little lightheaded as he grins back. 

“Jagi! That’s great!”

“Yeah! It’s kinda amazing, actually. I feel like Wendy’s thrown me a life preserver.” You fall silent as you reread the email. Jungkook swallows as quietly as he can, not wanting to disturb your concentration. He notes your brow furrowing as the silence stretches on.

“Everything okay?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah! This is great! I just…” you trail off, still reading. He waits. “They want me to interview next week, which is… a little quick.” 

“Ah,” he hums. 

Could you be nervous? Although you’ve told him that you’re sick of your company, you strike him as someone who is incredibly surefooted when it comes to your career. It’s honestly pretty sexy. (As if everything about you isn’t sexy, right down to the way your fingers lightly caress the wheel of your mouse and goddamn it, he really needs to stop thinking with his cock.)

But then you bite your lip as your gaze meets his and he realizes that yes, you are nervous. And it’s a feeling he can understand. 

“It doesn’t give me a lot of time to get myself ready. I mean, I’m thrilled that Wendy recommended me for the position, and I’m sure I could handle it, from what she’s saying, but... it’s been ages since I last interviewed for anything.” 

Jungkook nods, chewing on the inside of his cheek. You glance at the computer screen again, and he’s overcome with the urge to do whatever he can to ease your mind. “I know it’s not the same, but when I was preparing for my audition at Paradise, I had Taehyung helping me out. Maybe I could do the same for you?” He lifts a shoulder. “Ask you some questions? Help you ease back into it.” 

“Like… a fake interview or something?”

He nods. “If that would help.” 

“Really?” Your tone is hopeful, making his heart buoyant again. “You wouldn’t mind?” 

He’d have to search the internet for examples of things to ask you, since he doesn’t know the first thing about financial advising or whatever, but Jungkook feels pretty sure that he can do this for you. If you want him to. “Not at all.” 

“That would… be really great, Kookie. Thank you.” This time when you smile, it’s a shy thing, and before he can think he’s bending down to kiss you gently. You giggle into it, eyelashes fluttering when he pulls away. “What was that for?” 

He shrugs again, painfully aware that the tips of his ears are warming, turning red. “Nothing. How many more emails do you need to answer?” 

“Um…” you stare at your laptop. “Let me just respond to Wendy and then I’m done.”

“Cool.” Jungkook stretches. He doesn’t miss the way your eyes roam over his bare torso as he does so. He smirks, enjoying when you look away, knowing you’ve been caught. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, he lowers his mouth to your ear. “I’m gonna go home and take off these dirty clothes. Come find me when you’re done. I’ll be waiting.” 

“Fuck,” is your breathy response. He laughs. You’re really too good for his ego. But before you can say or do anything else to inflate his head a little more, your phone rings. 

Be still, my heaaaaart…

“Oh god, I bet that’s my boss, wanting to talk me out of taking off.” You frown as you check the screen. “Shit, it’s Jisoo. I gotta take this.” 

Jungkook carries his bowl back into the kitchen, an excuse to give you a little privacy to talk to your friend. But he can still hear your half of the conversation anyway. 

“Ji! What’s going on? Wait, what’s that sound? Is that Jennie? Is she crying?” A brief pause. “Okay, okay, I’m coming over! No, I’m not working today, I - it’s a long story, I’ll explain when I get there.” 

Jungkook reemerges from the kitchen when he hears you say goodbye. “Is everything okay?” he asks again. 

You shake your head. “I don’t know. Jisoo’s at Jennie’s, I need to get over there.” You move hurriedly down the hallway to your room. “I could hear Jennie crying in the background.”

“Jisoo didn’t say what happened?” Jungkook watches you dress, feeling helpless. You’re radiating with a nervous energy that makes him tap his fingers agitatedly against his thigh.

“No, all she said was that Jennie needs me.” You frown, staring into your closet. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. I’m sorry.” 

He doesn’t know what you’re apologizing to him for. “It’s all right. Your friends need you.” He grins when you put on his hoodie. It really does look better on you than him. “Don’t worry about me. Just text me later.” 

“I will.” You give him a playful smile as his fingers grip at your hip, drawing you closer to him. “I’ll try not to keep you waiting too long.” 

“Better not,” Jungkook murmurs, other hand clutching your chin to bring your mouth towards his. 

************************************************************************

You stay on my mind, I can't regret no times spent with you

And I still wonder if you notice me, yes

Jungkook tips his head, staring at the canvas in front of him. Music blares from his stereo and he sings along to it without thinking. It’s like breathing for him sometimes. 

The portrait he’s working on is nearly finished, finally. It’s taken him a bit longer to do this one than usual. He’d like to blame that on being busy the last few weeks, but the truth is that he was having a hard time with the photo his patron provided. It’s not that he can’t paint from a static shot, but he prefers live models or being out in nature. He needs movement, light, even the sounds his subject makes help him to better capture them. 

But he’s pretty happy with his progress on this one. He dips his brush into the mix of yellows on his palette, a sort of sunny shade that he’s using for highlights in the woman’s hair. The gentle tap-tap of his paintbrush against the canvas triggers a tingling sensation down the back of his scalp. 

He doesn’t realize how long he’s been working until his phone buzzes and he glances at the screen. It’s a spam text, so he ignores it, but he’s shocked to see that it’s already past noon. It’s not completely surprising that he lost track of time - that’s usually what happens when he’s in the zone. Everything around him falls away until there’s nothing left but him and the canvas. He learned a long time ago to set timers for himself on the days he has work or other plans or else he’d never stop. 

But it is a little surprising that he managed to stop thinking about you for a few hours. Not because he’s obsessed with you or anything, but because after he left your apartment this morning, he was too excited at the thought of another full day with you to do anything but think about you. 

And as always, his excitement triggered an avalanche of questions. Just like this morning. What should the two of you do today? There was a new gallery on the east side of town that he’d been meaning to check out - would you want to go with him? He’d love to spend an afternoon just walking around with you, talking about art - or anything, really. Or maybe you’d rather just hang out at your place? 

Or maybe you’d have wedding stuff you’d need to do? He remembered you said that you were the maid of honor. He didn’t quite know what that entailed but figured it was important. Your friend Jennie must really trust you. Made sense to him. You and him had only been doing this… dating… whatever that you had going on only for a short while and yet he felt like he could trust you with anything. 

And speaking of dating, what about Seokjin? Were you still seeing him? You hadn’t mentioned him in a while. Jungkook wasn’t sure if that was because he had won the little competition, or if you just didn’t want to talk about Seokjin with him. He should probably ask. 

Although… there was the other night, in the hallway at Paradise. When you’d asked him for a dance. Fuck, he wished he’d could’ve danced for you. He’d been working on a routine just for you… but that night, you’d pulled him close and confessed that you only wanted him. He wanted to believe it wasn’t the alcohol talking. That you’d meant it. But the thought of asking terrified him a little. What if you didn’t remember your own words? 

His thoughts looped back around to the wedding again. There was this burning desire to impress your friends that was starting to worry him. He already knew which suit he was going to wear tomorrow, wanting to dress to kill. Maybe he’d ask Jimin to do his makeup - Jimin usually did his makeup at Paradise. 

Any time Jungkook’s brain would get overwhelmed, he would slip into what his friends refer to as his “buffering mode.” He’d freeze in place, eyes wide but unseeing as he struggled to sort out his thoughts. This morning, Jungkook realized he’d gone into this mode again when smoke began to sting his nose and he snapped back to reality to discover that he’d burnt the fuck out of his kimchi eggs. Cursing, he threw the ruined second breakfast in the trash, and decided to put on some music and focus on his painting before he burnt down his apartment. 

It worked. All those questions and worries melted away as he’d picked up his brush. But now the day’s half over and he hasn’t heard anything from you. He hopes that doesn’t mean anything bad.

His phone is still in his hand, staring up at him impassively. He debates for a few minutes, the desire to talk to you warring with the fear that he’ll come across as impatient or worse, needy, before finally putting the phone down. 

He can keep waiting. The truth is, he’ll wait as long as it takes. 

So he makes lunch. Checks his mail. Does a load of laundry. The time ticks by.

Until finally, his phone buzzes. He lunges across the pile of boxers he’s folding to grab it.

Jagiya (3:01): Kookie I’m so sorry!

Jagiya (3:01): I completely lost track of time

(3:02): it’s ok jagi

(3:02): everything all right?

It’s a few minutes before the dots on his screen disappear. 

Jagiya (3:04): Yes but no but yes? 

He has no idea what that’s supposed to mean.

Jagiya (3:04): I’ll tell you everything later, but right now, Jennie needs me

Jagiya (3:05): So I’m gonna be here a bit longer. Through dinner, at least

His heart sinks. Those little dots reappear.

Jagiya (3:06): I know we were gonna hang out. Can you forgive me?

(3:06): nothing to forgive

(3:07): do what you gotta do

His reply makes him cringe. It reads back as indifferent. What he meant to say was, you don’t need to apologize for being there for your friends. He understands. He panics a little, thumbs flying, wanting to show that he cares.

(3:07): is there anything i can do?

Jagiya (3:08): You’re so sweet 😘

His heart rebounds a little.

Jagiya (3:08): We’re okay here, thanks

Jagiya (3:09): But I guess I won’t see you before you leave for work 

Jagiya (3:09): 😞

He can picture you wearing the same expression as the emoji you send. A sad little pout. He wants to kiss it away. 

(3:10): it’s ok

(3:10): you’ll have me all day tomorrow

Jagiya (3:10): And all night?

Jagiya (3:11): 😙

(3:11): for as long as you want me, jagi

He hopes you understand just what he means. 

************************************************************************

Like it is any other Friday, Paradise is packed. The club is always stuffed full on weekend nights with patrons wanting to toss off the stress of a hard week and slip into a world of fantasy. And it’s Jungkook’s job to give that to them. After finishing his second stage performance of the night, he makes his way back to the bar, where Jimin slides him a glass of water. Taehyung joins him.

“Two more Dick Suckers, please, Min.” Taehyung sets his tray on the bar. “Nice job with that last lapdance, Kook. Poor thing asked me what her name was when she got back to her seat.” A boxy smile splits his face. “Not my name, her name.” 

Jungkook grins back. He’d been tapped to dance for a woman celebrating her divorce being finalized. At first, she’d refused to get up, but her friend, who had paid for it, had insisted that she needed to embrace her new freedom. Once on stage, she’d sat silently, slack-jawed, with her hands clasped tightly over her chest, until Jungkook finally took them and placed them on his ass. At which point she’d shrieked so loudly, he thought he’d ruptured an eardrum. After that, she didn’t stop screaming for a second.

“Thanks. Been choreographing that one for a while. Guess it works.” Jungkook tips back the rest of his water, wiping his forehead with his tattooed arm. “Is the air busted again? It’s hotter than fuck in here.” His entire torso is dripping with sweat, from the exertion of his performance, and the room feels stifling around him. 

“It’s probably just Hoseok-hyung trying to save a buck again. I’ll talk to him,” Jimin replies, placing two bright blue drinks on Taehyung’s tray. “So what time do you want to stop by tomorrow?” 

“What are you two doing?” Taehyung inquires.

“Nothing involving you,” Jimin shoots back. Jungkook cocks an eyebrow. “Taehyung’s not invited over to my place any more.”

“I said I was sorry,” the other man drawls. “I mean it.”

“Sure you do.” Jimin runs a hand through his pink hair as he rolls his eyes. 

“Do I want to know?” Jungkook asks. 

Taehyung sighs. “After work last night, Jisoo and the two of us were hanging out at Jimin’s and someone,” he flicks his dark eyes towards the bartender, “didn’t appreciate my commitment to the scene we were playing.” 

“The scene you were… ah, shit, is this some roleplaying stuff?” Jungkook knows his friends are into roleplaying. Mostly because they spend a large amount of time working out the details of said scenes. Usually in the form of very annoying arguments.

“Look, I can’t help it if I get too deep into character, okay? That’s what you’re supposed to do! Make it feel real!” 

“Vampires aren’t real, Tae!” Jimin hisses. “But the bite you left on my ass sure is!” He looks at Jungkook. “I’m going to go find Hoseok. Watch the bar, will you? And just text me tomorrow, I’ll be home all morning.” He glares at Taehyung. “Alone!” 

Taehyung sniffs as Jimin disappears towards the back of the club. “He’s just jealous because my vamp was more believable than his werewolf.” 

Jungkook slips behind the bar, shaking his head. “He seems pretty mad, hyung.” 

“He’ll get over it. He usually likes biting. I think my choice of location caught him by surprise.” 

Taehyung wanders off to deliver the drinks to his waiting patrons. The bar gets a little busy while he’s gone, with Jungkook struggling a bit to keep up with the orders coming in. When Taehyung returns, he heads straight for the other side of the bar, to give Jungkook a hand. 

“So what are you and Jimin doing tomorrow? I thought you were going to the wedding with YN.” 

“I am. He’s just helping me get ready, that’s all.”

Taehyung smiles at a patron as he hands her an Adios Motherfucker. “Careful with that, sweetheart, it’s strong.” He looks at Jungkook. “Hair and makeup?” 

“Yeah.” With the smooth flick of a wrist, Jungkook finishes another drink, handing it off with a wink. The DJ calls Namjoon to the stage and the crowd at the bar disperses as another performance begins. Jungkook grabs a towel and starts mopping the counter. He’s a serviceable bartender but he’s pretty messy. 

“Mmm.” Taehyung leans back, watching Jungkook clean. He folds his arms over his bare chest. “Kook-ah. There’s no reason to be nervous.” 

Jungkook doesn’t even ask how he knows, replacing some bottles on the wall behind the bar. “I just want to make a good impression.” 

“You think you won’t?”

Jungkook gazes at the mirror behind the racks of bottles. Wide eyes stare back. He can’t put his fears into words, struggling as usual to communicate what has him so worried. It’s just a feeling, one that’s been growing all day, the more he thinks about the wedding. That you and your friends are from another world, one where everyone is self-assured and in control of their lives. And he’s just out here, barely floating by.

“I’m just making sure I do.” He pauses, finally looking at Taehyung. He sees Jimin approaching out of the corner of his eye. “I really like her, hyung. I-I think this could be something.” 

“Awww, Jungkook-ah!” Jimin coos, pinching Jungkook’s cheeks. “Our little Jungkookie’s in love!” 

“Hyung, stop.” Jungkook smacks his hands away. As the youngest of his group of friends, Jungkook’s used to being babied by his friends. He hates it.  “I didn’t say - it’s not - “

“Kook-ah.” Taehyung places a hand on both of Jungkook’s shoulders, turning him to face him. “What am I always telling you?”

Jungkook sucks in a deep breath, huffs it back out. “Confidence.” He feels a little ridiculous doing this here, behind the bar where patrons can see him getting a motivational speech from his hyungs. But sometimes he needs it. 

“That’s right.” Taehyung squeezes his shoulders reassuringly. “Just be confident. You know who you are. And who you are is amazing.”

“Hyung….” Jungkook is thankful that the pink lighting of the bar hides the deepening blush of his cheeks. Taehyung has been trying to bolster his confidence since the day they met, all those years ago in art school. He always appreciates it, but sometimes the man can get a little cheesy.

“Hey pretty boy!” 

A loud voice disrupts the moment. All three men turn to find a woman leaning over the bar. She’s clearly drunk, head propped on her hand as she smiles at Jungkook. Her head bobs a little as she sways. 

Jungkook recognizes her. The divorcée from earlier. “Can I help you, ahjumma?” 

She curls her finger, beckoning him closer. He leans towards her, careful to still maintain his distance. Drunken patrons have been known to try to get handsy with the dancers. 

“I wan’ a private dance,” she demands, words slurring a bit. 

Jungkook glances at Taehyung and Jimin. They appear to be on the same page as he is, based on their furrowed brows and pursed lips. She’s too drunk. Where is her friend? 

“I believe all of our private rooms are busy at the moment. Can I get you some water while you wait?” Jimin doesn’t wait for an answer as he places a glass in front of her. She just waves him off. 

“Not talking to you. Talking to him.” She points at Jungkook, grinning. Her smile turns Jungkook’s stomach a little. It’s cold. “I want a private dance. If I can’t have it here, maybe I could have it later? At my place?” 

Jungkook’s own smile feels tight. “I’m sorry, I don’t do private dances outside of the club.” 

She tilts forward, and Jungkook can smell the alcohol wafting off her. “Come on, pretty boy, I’ll pay. I have,” she hiccups, covering her mouth, “I have so much money.”

“It’s not a matter of money.” Jungkook scans the floor behind her. Seriously, where the hell is this woman’s friend? Should they call her a ride? 

The woman scoffs at Jungkook’s response. “Oh, come on, of course it is! That’s why you’re here, right? You dance, I give you money. It’s your job, honey.” 

Jimin and Taehyung are having a hushed conversation next to him, but Jungkook isn’t listening. He knows it’s pointless to try to reason with this customer, and yet he keeps trying. 

“It’s not my job. My job is to dance here. Not in private.” He knows what she wants, but he’s not for sale. He used to give it away for free, but he never took money or gifts. But even if he did sex work, he’s not going home with her. Especially not if she refuses to accept it when he says no. “Why don’t you have a seat, and I’ll call you a ride? We’ll make sure you get home safely.” 

She seems to finally realize that she’s not going to get her way, and her demeanor changes, countenance warping into an ugly sneer. “Don’t you con-condescend to me! You’re just a pretty boy with a hot body. Good for nothing but a quick fuck.” 

Even though it’s obvious that this woman is totally wasted, her words sting anyway, like a slap in the face. Jungkook recoils slightly, drawing back from the bar. 

“Okay, that’s enough,” Taehyung announces, sliding out from under the bar. “Let’s sit down, shall we?” But as he moves towards the woman, they hear another voice calling out.

“Oh my god, there you are!” It’s the woman’s friend, looking frazzled as she runs up to the bar. “I’m sorry, I thought she’d be okay while I ran to the bathroom. I got back to our table and people next to me said she’d stolen some shots from their table and wandered off!” 

“Well, that explains it,” Taehyung frowns. “I think you should take your friend home.” 

“I will. I’m so sorry, I hope she hasn’t been any trouble. She hasn’t been this drunk in years!” She wraps an arm around the divorcée’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s get you home.” 

The three men watch silently as the woman’s friend steers her towards the door, taking a wobbly path due to her friend’s intoxication. After a moment, Jungkook feels his friends’ eyes on him, but he keeps focused on the two women until they reach the entrance. 

“She was drunk, Kook,” Taehyung murmurs. Again, Jungkook doesn’t even need to ask how he knows what he was thinking. 

“I know.” 

“Don’t let her get to you,” Jimin says in a gentle tone. He lightly pats Jungkook’s arm. “I’ve got the bar covered. Why don’t you go take a break?” 

The locker room is empty when Jungkook enters. He pauses in front of a mirror for a moment, taking the time to wipe away where his eye makeup has smudged from the humidity in the club. He knows that woman was drunk. He knows this. And yet, her words have fed directly into his fears. 

What if he’s not enough? What if all he’s good for is, as those words rattling around in his head angrily declare, “a quick fuck?” 

The drunken woman’s expression while he’d danced for her reminded him of the night he’d danced for your friend Jennie. The way you’d looked at him, like you were seeing him for the first time. How he’d liked it. How, when he told his friends that the neighbor he’d been crushing on for months had shown up, he’d been encouraged to try and make a move. Ugh, that clumsy first attempt at flirting, using your shower - the memory makes his ears turn red. He’d stolen that idea from some cheesy movie he’d seen. But it worked, hadn’t it? It led to here. To whatever the two of you were now. 

If only he knew what that was. 

Suddenly, he needs to talk to you. He rummages through his bag until he finds his phone, grinning when he sees there’s a message waiting for him.

Jagiya (11:05): Hope you’re having a good night 😚

(11:53): it’s better now

(11:53): you still up?

He doesn’t have to wait long. 

Jagiya (11:54): I’m here

He presses the call button. 

“Hey Kookie.” Your voice is so warm, equal parts sleepy and surprised. He imagines you’re lying in bed, can picture the way you looked this morning. Wishes he were there. 

“Hey Jagi.” He leans back against his locker, closing his eyes. “Is it okay that I called?”

“Of course,” you laugh. “What’s up?” 

“Not much. I just… wanted to hear your voice.” He didn’t mean to say that. But it’s the truth. 

You hum, this sweet, soft sound that fills his chest with a happy buzzing. “You okay?”

“I’m okay. Just a long night.” He’ll tell you another time about what happened. He’d rather not relive it right now. “Is everything all right for tomorrow?”

“Yeah, Jennie’s good, and everything’s still set for the wedding. I really can’t wait, it’s gonna be amazing.”

“I can’t wait, either,” Jungkook admits. 

There’s nothing but the gentle sound of your breathing on the other end of the line for a few seconds, and then you ask, “Do you, um, want a sneak peek at my outfit for tomorrow? I took a picture earlier when I was trying it on.” 

“Sure.” He’s not going to turn down the chance to see your beautiful smile right now. 

The image that you send him a few seconds later takes his breath away. 

There’s no bridesmaid gown in sight. Instead, sheer white lace covers your body, the delicate fabric flowing from your breasts down your torso to your hips in a tight-fitting strapless one-piece. Around your waist is a snug garter belt, straps extending down your thighs to where they fasten to silk stockings. And the expression on your face nearly makes him whimper. You’ve one of your hands raised to your mouth, pointer finger dragging your bottom lip down as the edge of your pink tongue licks the tip.

All the blood in his body rushes south. As he stares at his phone, unable to blink, Jungkook exhales loudly. 

“Fuck.” 

You laugh again. “Do you like it?” 

“Jagi, I - “ Words fail him. You’re gorgeous, every inch of you. “I love it. Fuck, you’re so sexy.” 

More giggles. “Noooo, I’m not, stop. I wasn’t planning on wearing this under my dress originally, but I remembered I’d bought it months ago when Jisoo and I were out day drinking and shopping and I - I don’t know.” The words come out in a rush, like you’re embarrassed. “I just want to look good for you, Kookie.” 

Fuck. Why’s he gotta be at work right now? He palms over his erection, wondering if he has the time to lock himself in a bathroom stall and take care of it. While telling you exactly what he wants to do to you in that lingerie tomorrow. 

“You always look so good, baby,” he groans, voice a little husky. “I can’t wait to see this in person. Was it expensive?” 

“No, I don’t think so? I don’t really remember. Did I mention the drunkenness?” 

“Good. Then you don’t mind if it gets a little ripped?” Jungkook grins at your tiny inhale at his words. “Because after the wedding, I’m gonna-”

“Hey Kook-ah, you in here?” Hoseok pokes his head into the locker room. “Ah, there you are. Come on, you and Taehyung are up.”

“Be out in a minute, hyung,” Jungkook nods and the other man leaves. He sighs into the phone. “Shit. I’m sorry, jagiya, but I gotta get back out there.” 

“Wait! Aren’t you going to finish your thought? You can’t leave me hanging like this!” There’s a playfulness to your tone that makes his already hard cock ache. He’s going to have to go stand under an ice-cold shower for a minute before getting back into costume for his double routine with Taehyung. 

“Oh, baby, trust me, you don’t have to worry. You’ll be taken care of. When I see you tomorrow.” Jungkook smirks at his reflection when you whine in his ear.

“Fine.” You sound wounded. “Guess I’ll see you.” 

“You will. Night, jagi.” 

“G’night, Kookie.” With a final exasperated sigh, you hang up. 

Before he puts his phone back into his bag, it buzzes again. Another photo of you, this time just your face, wearing the saddest pout. The message makes him laugh. 

Jagiya (12:04): You’re such a tease

He fires off a response, then heads towards the showers, chuckling to himself the whole time 

(12:04): i know

(12:04): sweet dreams

************************************************************************

There’s not a single cloud in the sky as Jungkook steers his motorcycle down the busy city streets Saturday afternoon. He can see the Black Swan towering over the other highrises as he draws nearer. He tries to ignore the nerves in his stomach, but the swirling is impossible to ignore the closer he gets. 

By the time he’s in the elevator, rising to where the ceremony is being held, the swirling has become a maelstrom. He breathes through his mouth, inhaling and exhaling slowly. It’s gonna be fine. He just needs to walk out there with confidence, like Taehyung said. He can do this. Just pretend like he’s on stage. Too bad there won’t be any actual dancing until the reception. That’s when he feels the most at ease. 

The elevator dings as it arrives at the rooftop. When the doors part, his eyes widen, taking in the gorgeous scenery before him. The elevator opens directly into a lush garden, with flowering bushes and potted maple trees dotting the grounds. To his right, a mirrored wall reflects the greenery, making the open space feel even larger. The reception venue is on the other side of the mirrored wall, but the ceremony will be held in the gardens. 

Chairs have been arranged in rows on either side of a strip of green grass, cut low for the bridal party to walk down. At the end of the green pathway is an arch-shaped trellis covered with flowering vines and tiny string lights. And as his eyes adjust to the brilliant sunlight, he recognizes the group of women talking in front of the arch.

Your dress is identical to the ones worn by the three women standing by you, but he barely acknowledges this fact, too busy focusing on you and you alone. The lavender-colored silk hugs your curves, a small slit cut right at your left knee to reveal the stockings beneath. He tries not to think about what’s holding those stockings up. The straps of the dress rest just off your shoulders, snug against the soft skin there. 

You’ve opted for a fresh-faced natural look, with light makeup just highlighting your features. There’s a pink mugunghwa flower tucked behind your right ear, matching the simple bouquet in your hands. You’re a summer dream, blinding Jungkook with your radiant beauty. 

The tumult in his stomach stills more the longer he admires you. 

He pauses at the edge of the pathway, unsure if he should disturb you and your friends. But Jisoo makes the decision for him, as she turns and catches him watching you. She purses her lips, a loud wolf whistle piercing the air. 

“Holy shit, Bambi’s looking fine!” 

The rest of the group jumps as she grins, pointing to Jungkook. When your gaze meets his, he feels a jolt of electricity. He smirks, emboldened by your eyes on him, and strikes a pose, one hand in the pocket of his charcoal grey suit, cinched tight at his waist with a thick belt. Jimin had swept Jungkook’s hair off his face, showing off his eyebrow piercing, and did an impeccable job with his makeup. Jungkook knows he looks good. 

The expression on your face confirms it. 

As the other girls start whooping in agreement with Jisoo, he takes the opportunity to tease you a little, strutting down the grass pathway like he’s working the stage. He can tell it’s working when you glance away from the heat of his gaze, biting your lip to suppress a grin, before giving in and beaming widely at him. 

“Hey,” you say. 

“Hey,” he replies, matching your smile. “You look beautiful, jagi.” 

There’s some cackling from the other girls, but he ignores it, lost in your eyes. Until Jisoo’s hand appears in front of his face, snapping her fingers. 

“Hi, hello, you two can continue this after the ceremony, okay? Jennie will kill you if we start late because you were too busy eye-fucking at the altar.”

“Ji!” you hiss as the other girls continue to giggle. “Koo- uh, Jungkook, you remember Jisoo, I’m sure.” He nods, shoulders shaking slightly with quiet laughter. “And this is Lisa and Rosé.” 

“Nice to see you again,” Rosé greets him.

“Thanks, you too,” he replies, and then his mind goes blank. Thankfully, you save him from having to make small talk, looping your arm through his. You hand your bouquet to Lisa. 

“Have you seen the setup for the reception? It’s incredible.” And you start to tug him down the pathway, away from your friends.

“Remember, we’re starting in half an hour!” Lisa calls after you. 

Jungkook can’t quite make out what Jisoo says next, but it has the others laughing loudly, and he hears you mumble something about “unhinged freaks,” under your breath. You lead him through the double doors in the mirrored wall, into the rooftop restaurant that’s been converted into a reception space. But before he can get a good look at the room, you’re guiding him out of it and down a hallway. 

“Uh… wasn’t that the room?” 

“Oh, that was just to get you away from my friends before they said or did anything else to humiliate me.” You glance at him, and his heart skips a beat when he sees the heat in your eyes. “I’ve got something else in mind.” 

You stop in front of a door, ushering him inside. The men’s room, he quickly realizes, fingers locked in yours as you pull him into a stall. 

“Jagi? What - “ 

That’s as much as he gets out before you throw your arms around his neck and crush his mouth to yours. There’s an urgent hunger in your kiss that he immediately responds to, sliding his hands along the smooth silk of your dress to hold you close. But just as suddenly as you kissed him, you’re breaking away, dropping to your knees. 

Oh shit. He goes from half-mast and confused to fully erect and excited in a matter of seconds, staring down at you as your fingers make short work of his button and fly. 

“I missed you last night,” you inform him, swiftly yanking his pants down. 

“Jagi,” he breathes, almost lightheaded with want as you nuzzle your face against the outline of his cock through his boxer briefs. It’s strangely sweet and filthy all at once. “Missed you too.” 

“And even though you left me so… unsatisfied… last night,” you continue, fingernails lightly scratching up his thighs, sending a shiver down his spine, “and you are the one who promised me that I’d be taken care of today, seeing you in this suit…” As you trail off, you slide Jungkook’s boxers to the ground. He springs forth, bobbing so close to your mouth that he can feel your hot breath. 

“You like the suit?” he blurts out, earning himself a sweet giggle. Fuck, how are you being so cute right now while you’re this close to his dick? You stare up at him, all innocent doe eyes and angelic smile, and Jungkook thinks that he’d give you the world right now if you asked him to. 

“Can I show you how much I like it?” 

He nods vigorously, and you curl a hand around his cock as you suck the tip into your mouth. 

“Mmmmph,” he moans, pressing his lips together to stifle the sound. Anyone could walk in here at any moment. Even though you’ve hiked your gown up, clutching the hem in one hand to keep it from trailing out of the stall and getting dirty, it’s pretty fucking obvious that there’s someone on their knees in here, sucking the life out of Jungkook’s dick. 

Your mouth is perfect, so warm and wet and tight around his thick length. His hips jerk forward when you hollow your cheeks. He’s going to come embarrassingly fast, he just knows it.

“Baby,” he rasps when you swirl your tongue around the head, coating him in more saliva. His own tongue pokes through his teeth as he tries his best not to whine loudly. “Fuck, you’re making such a mess.” 

You pop off him to inspect his cock. It’s covered in your lipstick. “Oops. Sorry about that.” You swallow him back down, mouth working in tandem with your hand to stroke him off. 

“S’okay,” he murmurs, left hand clutching the top of the stall wall so tightly that his knuckles are turning white. “I-I like it messy.” 

He twitches in your mouth when you hum at his words. Shit, he’s definitely going to come. 

“Jagi, I can’t hold out, ‘m gonna, ah shit!” You take him as deep as you can, choking around him, and he understands what you’re telling him, that it’s okay, that you want him to come down your throat, and with that realization he’s gone, flooding your mouth as he bites down on his tattooed hand to muffle his contented groan. 

You take everything he has to give, gulping it down so lewdly that he grabs your hand, pulling you to your feet so he can kiss you fervently, not caring if he can taste himself on your tongue. 

“You’re amazing,” he whispers against your lips, cupping your face with both hands. You merely sigh, high and sweet, mouth brushing his, laughing as you gently push him away. 

“I better get back out there,” you say, straightening your dress. The flower behind your ear has slipped a little, and Jungkook reaches out to fix it for you. You smile gratefully, pressing one last peck to his cheek. “Give it a few minutes before you come out, okay?”

He nods, but stops you before you can unlock the stall. “I’m still going to take care of you later, you know.”

“I know,” you grin, and then you slip out the door. 

Jungkook takes a minute to clean himself up. It almost seems a shame to wash the lipstick off, but he decides he’ll just ask you to put more on later. God, he can’t wait to get you alone tonight. 

Before he leaves the bathroom, he checks the mirror to make sure he doesn’t look as wrecked as he feels. His earlier jitters have completely disappeared. He feels as confident as he looks. He can do this. 

And then Jungkook emerges from the bathroom, and his world tilts a bit. Because there, standing at the other end, with his arms slung around your back, is Kim Seokjin. 

************************************************************************

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 36:

I can do it with a broken heart…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

I groaned when my alarm went off and searched for my phone on the nightstand blindly.

"Come on. Where are you?" I hissed when Charles nightstand lamp lit up.

"Better?" he whispered and I looked to the side, grabbing my phone.

"Thanks." I mumbled, turning the alarm off. I turned on my site, facing Charles who stared at the ceiling "How do you feel?"

"Okay…" he answered and I scooted closer.

"Charles…" I cupped his cheek, turning his head. Last night still visible on his gorgeous face "How do you feel?"

"Embarrassed? Weak? Like an idiot?" he whispered, closing his eyes.

"Stop saying that!" I scolded him but he shook his head.

"I’m sorry you had to witness that… one bad article about me and I have a panic attack? Pathetic…"

"Hey! Stop that! You watched me breaking down before, and not once did you think I was pathetic, did you?" I looked at him and he shook his head.

"That was different! People treated you unfair because you’re a girl, saying all sorts of things about you for months and months, insulted you… that’s not okay! I underperformed, I brought this over myself…" he began and I sat up abruptly.

"Stop. Just stop. I know you love to blame yourself for every little thing your team screws up but not this time, you hear me? It wasn’t just one article and that’s it! It was more! It was weeks of little hits here and there and a team that didn’t do anything about it! A team that never had your back in the last weeks! A team principal who didn’t even acknowledged your win properly? We had a good weekend with Carlos on the podium on Saturday and Charles on Sunday? The fuck? Carlos wasn’t even on a real podium! It was the freaking sprint race! A P3! You on the other hand won the real race! I don’t know what’s going on with Ferrari at the moment, but the way they treat you? Mattia especially? It’s unacceptable! So stop this bullshit that this whole situation was brought onto you by yourself." I said and he sat up slowly.

"It’s just… I don’t know… I didn’t want to be this weak… not when you need me to be strong for you… I’m just so sick of it all…" he sighed.

"I think it’s time that I’m being strong for you for once… okay?"

"Hmm… okay." he mumbled, kissed my cheek and got up.

"Charles?" he turned around and looked at me "It’s okay to be not okay. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human."

The moment we touched ground in Hungary I already felt the sweat forming on my forehead.

"Damn it’s hot." I let out and Daniel chuckled.

"That’s just me…" he laughed and Sissy slapped his arm playfully "Hey! You can’t hit me! I’m an athlete! I need my arms!"

"You’ll survive, I’m sure." she chuckled and I got out of my seat.

"So, ready for your first ever official outing as a couple?" I asked them and Sissy blushed "Ready to be a WAG?"

"Urgh… I hate that word." she mumbled and got up as well "It will be fine. It’s not the first time I’m in the paddock."

"Yeah but it’s the first time you’re in it wearing the wrong merch, watching the race from the wrong garage." I said and she chuckled a little.

"You mean the right merch and the right garage." Daniel wiggled his eyebrows and I laughed.

"As long as you believe in your words…" I turned to look at Charles, still cuddled up in his seat, Liam sprawled across him, both sleeping. I leaned down a little and gently stroked Liam’s back "Hey Bubba. Get up. We’re here."

Liam lifted his head up from Charles shoulder and blinked the sleep away from his eyes, he carefully climbed off of him and then stumbled across the aisle. Before he could trip and fell Daniel caught him and picked him up.

"Come here sleepy mate." he chuckled and walked towards the door, Sissy following him.

I turned back to Charles who started squirming, missing the warmth of Liams body on him. He slowly opened up his eyes and looked around, looking adorably confused. When he spotted me he sat up slowly, wiping his eyes.

"Where’s Liam?" he whispered.

"Already outside with Daniel and Sissy."

"It got pretty hot in here, no?" he pulled his sticky shirt away from his chest and I nodded.

"A little, but I think that you’re sweaty comes from the little human heating laying on you for the whole flight." I chuckled a little and walked outside, followed by a yawning Charles.

"Probably…" he mumbled and as soon as we stepped outside into the blinding sunlight we both put on our sunglasses and got into the van waiting for us.

Charles was quiet. Since this morning he didn’t say more than a handful of sentences. Only when Liam asked him something or talked to him he replied. Otherwise he just kept staring outside. Silent. Lost in his thoughts. I could still see the tension in his shoulders.

"Do you have any sponsor events the next days?" I asked him and he shook his head "Do you want to come with me? Julie asked me if I want to visit a children’s hospital. Spend a little time with some of the kids. We could take Liam with us?"

"When is it?" he looked at me.

"Tomorrow. There are 2 boys and a girl, they had their birthdays in the last week and they are big Formula 1 fans. The hospital is financed by one of our sponsors so they asked if maybe one of the drivers could come and visit the kids, have a little birthday party with them…"

"Yeah… sounds nice." he smiled a little and I leaned into him, kissing his cheek.

"Great. I’ll text Julie." I took out my phone "Maybe you could ask Mia if you have some kids merch you can bring?"

"Would that be okay for Audi? I mean… it’s an Audi event?" he asked and I shook my head.

"It’s about the kids, not the sponsor or team. And I bet my ass that they would love some Ferrari merch as well!"

"I’ll text Mia then."

When we walked inside the children’s ward, packed with bags full of merch, not just from Audi and Ferrari, also Mercedes, RedBull and AlphaTauri, we could see that they had decorated the whole ward with racing decor. Checkered flag garlands, race car poster, balloons and confetti everywhere. We dropped our bags in the little playroom that was set up with little tables, all decorated with even more racing themed stuff, and started to take out the things we brought along. Team shirts, caps, flags, lanyards, bracelets even some funny looking sunglasses. The same one sitting on Liam’s nose, as he was wearing it because it was from AlphaTauri, paired with his Ferrari shirt and an Audi cap.

The door opened and two nurses walked in, smiling at us.

"Hello, it’s so nice to meet you guys, I’m Mira." the blonde woman shook our hands first.

"Hi I’m Lizzie." I introduced myself.

"I’m Charles, and this little man here is Liam." Charles smiled at them and Liam looked a little shy.

"Hi. I’m Janka. The kids will be so happy to see you. Hanna is a big fan of yours Lizzie and Janos is a big fan of you, Charles." the red haired woman said and I smiled at her.

"They basically infected the whole ward with their enthusiasm for Formula 1, so now they all can’t stop talking about it!" Mira said and I smiled "Some parents are here as well, just so you know."

"Is there cake?" Liam asked and Charles chuckled, ruffling his hair "It’s a birthday party after all, so there must be cake!"

"You’re right Liam, there is some cake!" Janka laughed and Liam smiled "Are you ready to meet the kids?"

"Absolutely!" I said and the two nurses nodded and walked outside, opening the French doors fully up.

I watched Charles closely. He was trying his best to look happy and content, but I saw right through his facade. I saw how his eyes were void of their natural spark. How his smile was forced. But when I tried to talk to him last night he brushed it off. Like always. He turned his head slightly and looked at me, raising his eyebrow.

"What?" he asked quietly and I quickly shook my head.

"Nothing." I smiled and before he could reply Mira and Janka walked back in with a small group of kids. Some in wheel chairs, other on crutches, others holding onto their parents hands.

Mira introduced us to the kids and I kneeled down in front of a blonde girl in a wheelchair.

"Lizzie, this is Hanna." Janka said and I smiled at the girl.

"Hi Hanna, nice to meet you." I said in the worst Hungarian possible and Hanna laughed.

"Your Hungarian sounds bad!" she replied in English and I laughed.

"I know! Sorry! I just learned some phrases on the way here! I’m glad your English is good!"

"We learn it in school." she said proudly and I nodded "You are even more pretty in real than on the tv."

"Oh thank you!" I blushed a little "But you are one to talk! Look at what a gorgeous girl you are!" now she blushed as well.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Hanna asked and looked at Charles with big eyes who sat on a tiny chair, talking to three boys and their parents.

"Yeah, that’s Charles." I nodded.

"I know who he is. He’s cute. You’re cute together."

"Yeah, he really is cute. You wanna meet him?" I looked at her and she nodded.

I got up and rolled her wheelchair to the little group and Charles looked up.

"Charles, meet this pretty young lady. That’s Hanna. It was her birthday last week."

"Hi Hanna, nice to meet you." Charles smiled "I heard Lizzie is your favourite driver?"

"Yes she is." the little girl nodded.

"I’ll tell you a secret…" Charles leaned in a little "She’s also my favourite driver." he whispered and Hanna giggled.

For the next hour we chatted with the young patients, painted some pictures together, gave everyone some merch for their desired team and talked to the parents, who where more than grateful that we took some time out of our days to spent with their kids.

"Hanna is here every other month since she’s two. That’s when they found out that she’s sick…" Hanna’s mother said as she watched how her little girl played a board game with Liam, Charles and another kid "Her dad always was a huge Formula 1 fan and they watch the races together."

"When I was younger I started watching with my dad as well. It almost became a ritual for us." I smiled at her.

"How are you this good? That’s crazy!" I heard Charles say and looked at them, Hanna cheering again.

Soon after it was time for the birthday cakes for the three kids and we all sat together and sang for them. After trying some of the cake and more chats Mira nodded at Janka and they began to slowly prepare the kids to return to their rooms. Charles and I said goodbye to every single kid and took some last selfies.

"It was so cool that you were here! Thank you!" Hanna smiled and I hugged her "Good luck on Sunday!"

"I will try my best for you!" I said and waved her off.

"Thank you so much for coming! The kids really had a blast!" Janka said when she guided us to the elevator "These kids, they don’t have it easy, but you gave them a couple of hours of feeling like normal kids, without some serious and bad conditions. Thank you so much!"

"No, thank you for having us. You’re doing an amazing job!" I said and she smiled.

We said our goodbyes and walked to our car. After a couple of minutes of silence, Charles put his hand on my thigh and squeezed it.

"Thank you…" he whispered and I looked at him questioningly "For asking me to come with you…"

I took his hand in mine, interlacing our fingers and kissed the back of it.

"Seeing these kids… with real problems and how they keep going? I need to be more like them…" he said and I was about to reply when Lian was quicker.

"Mummy said there will be kids doing some interviews this weekend? From Sky?" he asked and I turned a little.

"Yeah. Pretty cool, no?" I replied and he nodded.

"Maybe when I’m not good enough in driving I can be a reporter?"

"You’re amazing in driving! You won all your races this year already!" I said and he shook his head.

"Not all. In Kärnten I was only third…"

"Because you were a little bit too aggressive in the end…"

"Marco was in my way! He was annoying me!" Liam defended himself and I chuckled.

"Yeah sure… and where did it get you?"

"Whatever…" he just sighed and I saw him roll his eyes.

"You need to be calmer in these situations, Liam. Next time you might get disqualified!"

"You and Charlie were also disqualified from races and still are in F1 now, driving with the best!"

"I was never disqualified! Charlie on the other hand…" I answered and could see a faint smirk on Charles lips.

"Lizzie is right, Bubba. You need to be more calm and less aggressive…"‘he said.

"Okay okay…" Liam gave in and I rolled my eyes.

One word from Charles and of course Liam agreed. Like always.

Charles POV:

I woke up pretty early, turning around, facing Lizzie. A ray of sunshine lit up her gorgeous face and made her glow. As if she would feel me looking at her she scooted in closer, tangling her legs with mine. Her hand searched for mine and I happily held it out for her to take and watched her cuddle up on my arm, a content smile on her lips. For moments like this I was more than grateful. Quiet mornings. No stress. No hectic. No camera pointed at my face. No microphone shoved under my nose. Just a quiet morning. A tiny snore from Lizzie made me chuckle. Almost quiet.

"What’s going on in there…" Lizzie whispered, her free hand gently stroking along my forehead and I closed my eyes.

"I just thought about how much I love you."

"Wrong answer…"

"Wrong answer?" I opened one eye, looking at her. Her big blueish grey ones looking up at me.

"What you said yesterday? About those kids having real problems? Don’t play down what’s going on inside of you, Charles…"

"What’s going on is that I need to get a thicker skin…"

"Bullshit! This has nothing to do with you being sensitive or not strong enough! You’re too hard on yourself, as always, but this time it’s nothing you can change. Nothing that just goes away when you ignore it long enough! You always want me to talk with Dr. Lindner… I think- I think it’s time that you also start talking to someone. I can only do-…"

"I’m not crazy! I don’t need to see a therapist." I groaned, turning on my back, hands over my face.

"But I am?" the hurt in Lizzie‘s voice made me flinch.

"No! God dammit! Of course you’re not crazy! It’s just… it’s different!"

"How?" she sat up and I turned my head, looking at her "How is it different?"

"Look what you’ve been through! You’re accident! The assaults by Diaz. The media going after you…" I began but Lizzie just scoffed.

"You lost your godfather, your role model. You want since then nothing more than to continue his legacy. Lost your dad at a very important phase of your life. Constant negativity around you. Especially after last season. People are dragging you down whenever they can. Your team doesn’t really support you. You had to witness your girlfriend almost being choked to death…"

"Stop. Don’t… don’t bring Jules and Papa into this…" I sat up, voice slightly shaking.

"Why not? You never talked to anyone afterwards. You just continued. Marched on. And everything that happened since, you just locked away somewhere in your brain. Not talking about it, nothing…"

"That’s not true! I talked to someone!"

"Oh yeah? Who?"

"You, for gods sake! I talked to you! I don’t need a therapist! I have you! I talk to you!" I was getting frustrated.

"But I can’t help you! Not with everything!"

"I don’t need more! What I have, what we have, I know that I can talk to you when I need to. That is enough for me. Don’t worry about me! I’m fine." I got up, grabbing my clothes from the chair.

"You’re not…" I heard Lizzie whisper, but I locked the bathroom door behind me and went straight under the shower.

The hot water cascading down on me. This wasn’t how I wanted our morning to start. But I also didn’t want to talk about a therapist. I didn’t need one. I was fine. Every driver out there hit a rough patch once. It would get over. With a little time and one or two good races I would be just fine. I could do it, even if it hurt, even if it broke my heart. I could keep going. I had to.

"Sophie Acaster, Telegraph. Question for Charles. We’ve all seen the last race, Silverstone, your crash with Lizzie. Up to that point the car looked good? Are you on the way to turn this season around?" a red haired woman in the first row asked.

"We’re certainly on our way to have better results than at the beginning of the season, that’s for sure. We will see how the car will work around here. I like the Hungaroing and I think we’ll have a good weekend." I answered.

"Jacob Beek. De Telegraaf. Charles, we’ve seen you and Lizzie collide on track and afterwards it looked like you weren’t talking. Is this causing trouble in your relationship?"

"Of course I wasn’t happy when Lizzie crashed into me, like I wouldn’t be if it was anyone else. But something like that won’t cause trouble or anything. I mean yeah, we talked about it, I told her that the gap she was going for wasn’t really there, we where also at the complete wrong part of the track for an overtake like this. But that was it. We’re racing drivers, I know why she tried it. She knows she made a mistake. That’s it." another question about the crash.

"Alright, we’ve got time for one last question." Tom Clarkson said nodding to a journalist.

"Oscar Fernandez, Marca. Question for Charles. The last weeks there was a lot of negativity around your person. Lot of noise off track. Your performance, your results and the fact that Carlos is almost equal in points, despite you having won a race. How do you handle the pressure and does it affect your driving?"

"I honestly don’t listen to the media. I ignore it most of the time." I kept it short, but saw that the journalist wasn’t satisfied with my answer but the press conference ended and I got up, leaving immediately.

"Good answer Charles, don’t let them provoke you." Sylvia smiled and I just nodded, sliding my RayBan on, following her back to the Ferrari hospitality "There will be a boy coming from SkyKids. Just show him your driver room, answer his questions and done."

"I can’t wait." I mumbled, watching Lizzie talk to a young girl, probably also one of the SkyKids, when she saw me she stopped abruptly and waved at me, the girl following her look "Give me a minute."

"Charles, we don’t have time…" Sylvia began but I already walked towards Lizzie.

"Ruby, this is Charles, he drives for Ferrari." Lizzie said in German when I was close enough and the girl smiled brightly at me.

"I know who he is! You two are cute together!" she answered and I smiled a little.

"Hi Ruby, how’s your day so far?" I asked her and she shrugged her shoulders a little.

"Pretty cool. I saw some cool stuff, now Lizzie is showing me around and then… I don’t even know what I’m doing next."

"Sounds like a fun day!" I said to her and then turned to Lizzie "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure. I’ll be right back…" she looked at Ruby and then followed me "What’s up?"

"I wanted to apologise, for this morning. We said we need to communicate more and I just left…" I said quietly.

"Okay." was all Lizzie said and I looked at her.

"Cara mia, please… I’m sorry, okay?"

"Yeah, I believe you… but what do you want me to say? I meant what I said… but you don’t want to hear it…" she began and I rolled my eyes.

"Lizzie I told you, talking to you is enough for me, I don’t need a therapist or something." I groaned but Lizzie scoffed.

"You know, I wouldn’t say anything, if you really would talk to me… but you just change the topic or play it down whenever I want to talk about what’s going on… so yeah…" she walked off and left me standing there, groaning.

I watched him. The whole day. His fake smile. As soon as the camera flicked away from him, or whoever he was talking to left, the fake smile was gone. Replaced by a scowl. His eyes hidden most of the day behind his RayBans. His laugh not genuine. Fake. All just faked. I watched another clip from the press conference when I heard JK sigh.

"Liz? Did you listen?" he looked at me and I shook my head apologetic "I said you’ve got some tenseness in your lower back. It’s stiff. I’ll have to work out the knots…"

"Uhhh- yeah. Yeah. I felt it before." I answered and he pushed into a pressure point, making me hiss in pain.

"And you didn’t think about telling me?"

"It was kinda gone after a while before it returned couple of days ago. I’m telling you now…"

"Liz. That’s not the same! We have to be careful with your back and you know it!" he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah… but it’s fine…" I replied.

"We will focus on your lower back the next sessions. Strengthen it." JK noted and I nodded.

"Sounds good." I said halfheartedly.

"What’s going on? You’re lost in your head the whole day?"

"Charles…"

"Charles? Some context please?"

"He says he’s fine. But he’s not. But he doesn’t want to talk about it. Not with me. Not with a therapist." I sat up and JK handed me something to drink.

"It wasn’t easy for him the last weeks…"

"The last weeks were horrible for Charles. The car is fucked, which leads him to pushing too much, which leads him into make mistakes. His team makes mistakes. They also don’t really support him anymore, or that’s how he feels at least. Then the whole media, mostly of course Spanish media, the whole drama with me? It’s all too damn much but he downplays it! And then he…." I began but stopped, then started to play with the bottle cap and JK pulled a chair close and sat down.

"And then what?"

"Where should I start?" I huffed and then told JK about Charles panic attack

"Oh wow…" JK said quietly and I nodded "Okay… first of all. You took good care of him! You did good! And then… Charles is in so many ways like you, Liz. You’re both incredibly stubborn. Remember how much conviction it took me to get you to open up? Talk?"

I thought back to our time in the cabin in the mountains and then sighed.

"Okay… yeah. But how do I get him to open up? Talk? A little faster preferably?" I said and JK chuckled a little.

"Oh come on Liz. Charles would do everything for you. You just have to ask for it. I know you did… but maybe you have to tell him how much it hurts you, seeing him hurt like that? And then he’ll open up?"

"It’s worth a shot…" I sighed after a while and JK stood up.

"Alright. Now back down, please, I still have to work out some knots and tension…"

"Can’t wait…"

I fell asleep before Charles came back and before the Friday sessions I didn’t want to mention anything. So I smiled. A fake smile and Charles knew it. The whole way into the paddock. When we sat down together for lunch. When we were being interviewed between the sessions and he stood next to me. I saw his look. And a part of me liked giving him something from his own medicine. Even though Charles looked like he was bursting out any minute to ask me what was wrong.

"The sessions looked good so far?" he asked instead and I nodded.

"Yeah the car was good. We’ll see I guess." I replied as he waited for me.

"See you tomorrow, Lizzie. Charles." Pete said as we walked off and Charles waved at him.

"Lizzie? Just a moment?" Julie stopped us and she smiled at Charles "I don’t know if Elijah contacted you… but they want to start filming again…"

"He didn’t call me but I was expecting it… he said he wanted to give me some time after the whole Diaz thing… but yeah, they wanted to release the season this autumn…" I sighed and she nodded.

"They will postpone the release, but they really want to film more of your private life… but I told him he has to discuss that with you… after the summer break. So prepare for Netflix to be in Neuburg when you’ll come back…"

"Thanks Julie! Really!" I smiled at her and she waved us off.

"I kinda forgot about Netflix, to be honest…" Charles admitted.

"Yeah… me too." I sighed, trying not to think about Netflix invading my life again.

"Anyways… are you hungry?" he asked me when we got in the car and I nodded.

"Very."

"Do you want to pick up some Buddha Bowls? Or something else?"

"No, Buddha bowls sound great. I’ll pre-order. You want your usual?" I asked, grabbing my phone and looking for a take out place.

"Yeah. Like always. Do you have an address?"

I typed it into the navigation system and pre ordered our food.

"Ready for pick-up in 30 minutes. Arrival in 25. Perfect timing." I smiled and looked outside.

"And when we’re back at the hotel we should talk…" Charles said and I turned to him "More communication." he shrugged his shoulders and I nodded.

"More communication." I agreed and for the rest of the ride we were silent.

Charles POV:

I took a quick shower after Lizzie and when I walked out the bathroom she already set up our foods and drinks by the tv, patting the space next to her. We ate in silent for a while, watching a documentary about a beautiful island somewhere in the Pacific. After another silent minute I cleared my throat and looked at Lizzie.

"So. Umm- yeah…" I began and she looked at me expectantly.

"So?" she asked.

"Umm… I know that you want me to talk with you about all of what’s going on in my head…" I took a deep breath.

"I just want you to open up."

"I just feel like… maybe it’s not fair from me to unload all of this onto you and hope that it’s all good then…"

"What? No! If you think that talking with me is enough, then talk with me! But actually talk! It’s just… it seems like you don’t want to talk with me? Or maybe you can’t? So that’s why I thought that maybe a therapist… I just feel like I can’t help you? I try to, but it’s not enough I think? I want to be there for you, just like you’re there for me. But you don’t talk with me! And when you talk it’s more like you’re trying to downplay it all…" she said and I shook my head.

"No! You do help me! Really! I know that I can count on you! I know that you will do everything to cheer me up, help me! That’s all I need! Really!" I cupped her cheeks and she nodded slightly "It hurts… so damn much. It’s not just one article here or a bad comment there… it‘s all of it combined… then not feeling the support of my own team! The team I love so much. The team I would give everything for… I’m sick of it all sometimes… it’s just… sometimes I feel like I can do my best and it’s still not enough? Like I can be the fastest, but there is still a lot of negativity? I just don’t know what to do… my contract with Ferrari runs out after next season… what if they lost their faith in me? Nicolas said that Ferrari would usually approach him at the beginning of the season to talk about when the contract negotiations would start… but so far, nothing happened… What if they won’t renew my contract?" I closed my eyes and let it all out. The fear and worries that I carried with me the past weeks and months.

"That’s what’s worrying you? The fear that they won’t renew your contract?" Lizzie whispered and I nodded "Can you look at me, please?" she tilted my head upwards and smiled at me "If they let you go, they are even more stupid than I thought, okay? Besides, that’s such a long time till then, Charles? Don’t burden yourself with this now! I know it’s scary, to not know what will happen. But one thing is for sure, if Ferrari is that stupid, know that there are enough teams who would take you in a heartbeat… and know for sure that I would give up my seat, so that you could have it…"

"No. Stop saying that. I wouldn’t take it. Are you crazy?" I stammered but Lizzie shook her head.

"It won’t happen! Because I know for a fact that Toto and Christian would fight over you like crazy…" she gently stroked my cheeks and I had to smile "And let‘s be honest? You in a dark suit? Mhhh I would definitely love to see that…"

"Oh stop." I chuckled a little.

"You are one of the best drivers on the grid… the best over one fast lap… with the right car and right team you are the only one who can beat Max… you’ve proven it last year… and I know how much the things said and written by the media hurt… but you have to ignore it. They have an agenda against you I will never understand, but it’s fact that you will be a world champion one day. I know it. I believe in it. You just have to believe in it yourself…" she smiled at me and for a moment I felt invincible. I hugged her, pulled her close and held her tight.

"Thank you… for always believing in me…" I whispered.

"It’s time you start to believe in yourself again!" she replied and I nodded.

Maybe she was right.

I finished the interviews and waited for Lizzie, smiling at her when she was done as well, walking up to me.

"I guess it will be late, don’t wait for me." I pulled her into my side, kissing her temple.

"Long meeting?" she asked and I nodded.

"P6 and P11? They will want to find a way for us both to finish in the points…"

"The way I know Ferrari they want you to hold up the pack behind, slow them down so Carlos can overtake as many cars as possible so you guys finish as high as possible…" she said and I sighed.

Sounded like a strategy straight out of our department.

"Ruining my tyres in the process and then not even be prioritised at the pit stop." I chuckled and she slapped my arm a little.

"Don’t let them do that! You’re in P6! The podium is in your reach! But not if they ruin your race to get him into a higher position!" she looked at me pointedly and I shrugged.

"I mean, I will try my best to have a word in it. But yeah… we’ll see."

At the Audi hospitality I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tight.

"Maybe I’ll see you later." she whispered and I nodded, kissing her gently.

"I’ll send you a text when I know when we’ll be done!" I smiled at her and walked back to my team.

"Debrief starts in 5 minutes." Xavi said when he saw me and I nodded.

"I just go and grab my notebook." I said and walked upstairs, opening the door "Pops? What are you doing here? I’m actually on my way to a meeting? Did something happen?" I was confused when I saw Juergen sitting in my drivers room.

"No, I was just waiting for you, so we can go together." he said and stood up.

"Go together where?" I was dumbfounded.

"The meeting?" he answered as if it was the most obvious thing.

"What?" I didn’t understand.

"You and I. Meeting with the team?" he smirked.

"But why? I mean why are you…" I didn’t even know what to ask.

"Because it’s time that someone stands up for you. That someone has your back. It’s time to show the Spaniards that they might bring some big sponsors, but you’re still Il predestinato. You’re not fighting alone anymore, Carlos has his dad and cousin, you have me. Besides it seems like your team needs a little reminder, too, who you are!" I didn’t know what to say, I just looked at him and took a sharp breath, blinking away the tears. He looked at me before he pulled me into a tight hug "It’s ok. We all got your back! You’re not alone. You never were."

"Thank you, Pops, really… but I don’t even know if you can attend? I mean…" I began but he chuckled.

"Fred officially approved of it. I’m your new co-manager and advisor. Fancy title, no?"

"You spoke with Fred?" I was surprised.

"I spoke with Nicolas and he spoke with Fred. Long story short, they can’t say anything. Because if they want me removed. The other Carloses have to go as well. Now come on. I don’t like being late." he clapped my shoulder and walked outside "Hurry up, kiddo."

When we walked inside, I saw Mattia looking at us, his eyes widening.

"Charles! You can’t bring him in here!" he said as he stepped in front of us.

"As Charles Co-Manager and advisor I have every right to be here." Juergen said and sat down.

"Co-manager and advisor? You’re the father of a rival driver?" Mattia said and Juergen nodded.

"Correct. I’m Lizzie’s father. And I support her of course. But I don’t work for her, I’m not her manager and also not her advisor." Juergen smiled, putting his glasses on and then looked at me.

I sat down next to him, opening my notebook and putting my headphones on. Ready for what was to come. Mattia still stood there in disbelief but then he seemed to gather himself and the meeting began.

"You’re crazy!" I chuckled in disbelief when we drove back to the hotel "Did you see their faces?"

It was a long time ago, since I felt this good after a strategy meeting. Juergen defended me wherever he could. Had good arguments why Ferrari shouldn’t ask of me to sacrifice my race just to help Carlos. Whenever Sainz senior or Carlos‘ cousin brought something up he was quick to deliver arguments against it.

"I did…" he laughed and Andrea clapped his back.

"I wish I could’ve taken a picture of Sainz senior when you said that if Carlos wants the better strategy he has to be the better driver…" Andrea laughed.

"I said that I meant that he should’ve qualified ahead then!" Juergen shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah yeah if you say so." Andrea chuckled "Whatever you meant. His face was priceless."

"I can’t thank you enough." I looked at Juergen and he just waved it off.

"I told you. Your team needs a reminder… and I’ll do it as long as you need me to. I have no problem to be by your side every weekend…"

"Lizzie will kill me, taking up all of your time!" I chuckled and he turned a little.

"Whose idea do you think it was, coming here and go with you into the meeting?" he asked and I looked at him.

"Lizzie?" I replied slowly and he nodded.

"She called me… Monday night…"

"She did?" my voice barely a whisper.

"It was hard to understand her at first…" he said quietly and I took a deep breath "No matter what’s going to happen… know that I will be by your side when you need me."

"Thank you, Pops. Really."

When we arrived at the hotel and said our good nights I unlocked the door and closed it quietly. Lizzie was already sleeping and I got ready for bed, then snuggled into the sheets behind her.

"What time is it?" she whispered and turned around, cuddling up into my side.

"Late. Go back to sleep."

"Okay…"

"Thank you." I whispered after a while, when I felt her melting into me "For everything, cara mia."

"What do you mean?" she yawned a little and I kissed her cheek.

"Your encouraging words throughout the week, how you’re always there for me. That you made Pops being with me today… thank you."

"I told you, you don’t have to be alone…"

"I know… I love you."

"I love you too, Charlie bear." she whispered sleepily and I pulled her even closer into me.

"Good night cara mia."

P7. One spot lost. 9.5 seconds long pit stop. 5 second penalty for speeding in the pit lane. No water. I was more than happy to leave Hungary behind and fully focus on Spa. If only the journalists would think so too.

"How confident are you after last weekend?" Rachel Brookes asked.

"Last weekend wasn’t a good one for us, again unfortunately. This season is a little tougher than last season, because we just make to many mistakes. But I’m fully focused to end the first half of the season on a high and I think we’ll come back stronger after the summer break." I replied.

"What do you think is possible for you here this weekend?"

"Spa is one of my favourite tracks and I have a lot of good memories on this track…"

"We have a sprint race this weekend as well!"

"Yeah we have, so two races to get some points." I chuckled a little.

"Final question, will we see you on the podium this weekend?"

"I hope so. I’ll give my best." one last smile and I walked away, waiting for Lizzie to finish her interviews.

"I’m tired." she pouted and I pulled her into my side.

"Poor girl." I kissed her temple and saw Pierre waving at us from a lounge area, right before I saw Daniel.

"Pieeeeeeerreeeee Gaaaaaaslyyyyyy!" he shouted and I had to laugh.

"Daniel RICCIARDOOO!" Pierre replied and Lizzie chuckled plopping down on one of the sofas.

"Why are you grinning like that?" I asked him when I sat down next to Lizzie and she leaned on me, making herself comfortable.

"Because he saw me!" Daniel said sitting down opposite from us.

"Nope… I just heard something…" his grin got even bigger.

"And that is what?" I looked at him.

"Oh you won’t believe it…"

"Oh come on Gossip Girl! Spill the beans!" Lizzie groaned and I had to chuckle a little while she kept playing with my bracelet. Daniel sat up and looked at Pierre with big eyes, ready for some hot gossip.

"Okay… sooo I’ve heard from someone that Carlos and his girlfriend broke up…" Pierre said and I rolled my eyes..

"That’s not a secret! We’re in the middle of the season and she wasn’t at one race! Also, didn’t he say it in an interview? Damn I thought you had some good tea!" Lizzie grumbled but Pierre boxed her shoulder.

"I wasn’t done!" he said annoyed and she looked apologetic "That rumour? That he cheated? More than true… it looks like there will be another Sainz jr by the end of summer…"

Lizzie’s head snapped up that fast I was afraid she got whiplash.

"WHAT?" she exclaimed and Pierre leaned back, folding his hands behind his head, a satisfied smile on his lips.

"Damn." Daniel let out a breath.

"You’re kidding, right?!" I asked but he shook his head "Who told you that?"

"One of Kika’s model friends knows the girl, even tried to warn her that he’s in a relationship and that it wouldn’t end nicely for her… but she didn’t listen…" Pierre answered nonchalantly.

"Fuck me!" Lizzie whispered and I pulled her closer.

"Later…" I whispered with a grin and she blushed, then looked at Pierre "And how did Isa find out?"

"The girl told her, showered her with proof… it wasn’t just a one time thing apparently…" Pierre said and scratched his chin "What goes around, comes around I guess…"

"Karma…" Lizzie mumbled still hiding her red cheeks in my chest.

Charles waited for me and I grabbed my bottle, walking towards him.

"You’re starting from the pitlane?" he asked and I sighed.

"Yeah. After a new basically everything they decided last night that when I already had to start from P17 for the other penalties, they could switch the rest of whatever as well. So yeah, pit lane start it is… not all of us can start from pole." I pinched his side and he chuckled a little.

"I’m sorry." he put his arm around my waist and pulled me into him "But I’m sure you’ll do great! Even without starting from pole…"

"Would I make it into the points, that would be amazing! But yeah, we’ll see…" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Have a little faith!" he whispered into my ear, kissing my temple.

"Yeah, we’ll see. At least I got five points yesterday."

"See! One point more than I!" Charles cheers me up and I nodded.

"It’s fine. Let’s just get today over with and then we finally have some quiet weeks for ourselves!" I smiled as we stood next to each other for the national anthem.

"I really can’t wait… it’s been a long first half of the season…" he mumbled and I nodded.

"What are you whispering?" Pierre nudged my shoulder a little.

"I just said to Charles that I’m glad that I don’t have to see your face for quite a bit." I laughed and he grasped his heart dramatically.

"You’re breaking my heart!" he whined and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"You’ll survive…"

"Kids! Stop fighting!" Charles chuckled right as the anthem began and we had to suppress our laughter even more.

"What was that?" I whispered as soon as it was over and we returned to our garages.

"I have no idea but damn why did the camera guy focus for that long on my face!" Charles sighed and I chuckled.

"Someone had to fight a freaking lot to contain his laughter…" I wiggled my eyebrows and Charles laughed.

"Alright. I have to go now. I see you after the race?" he pulled me into him and kissed me.

"I’ll cheer you on on the podium!" I smiled at him and he smiled.

"And I’ll cheer you on for your points!" Charles said and walked slowly away.

"We’ll see…" I mumbled and walked up to JK who already waited for me.

"Ready?" he asked and I nodded.

"Yup… let’s make it into the points…"

"P7 Lizzie! What a race! You were amazing!" Pete radioed and I was more than happy.

"Wooohooo! Amazing job guys!" I replied.

"Brilliant performance Lizzie!" Felix said and I couldn’t stop smiling "Pit lane to P7! Amazing!"

I parked my car and jumped out, looking for Charles who already waited for me, after celebrating with his team.

"What did I say? What did I say! Amazing! You are amazing! Brilliant race, cara mia!" he picked me up and twirled me around. Then he sat me down and I pulled off my helmet and balaclava "You deserved that driver of the day!"

"You did amazing too! Another podium!" I kissed him when someone fake gagged behind us.

"Okay lovebirds, go find somewhere else to be all lovey dovey!" Daniel laughed, shoving us a little.

"Why don’t you go and find my sister, be all lovey dovey with her and leave us alone…" I teased him and he rolled his eyes, walking away still laughing. I turned to Charles again "Let’s go up there and get your trophy! I’ll be cheering for you from down here!" I kissed his cheek and pushed him towards the post race interviews.

As I watched him a couple minutes later stepping onto the podium, lifting his trophy I smiled contently. The season started the worst way possible, but the first half ended on a high and now I couldn’t wait for the summer break.

Charles POV:

"When we’ll leave on Thursday, we have 10 days with our family and friends and then we still have 5 days for ourselves before we need to go back to our teams…" I said when I started to fold my shirts "It was a good idea to do the washing last night when we came back… saved us some time."

"Yeah…" Lizzie smiled at me when her phone rang and she walked out of the room to take the call.

I kept on folding my clothes, choosing what to pack and what not, when Lizzie walked back into the living room, sitting down on the sofa, looking out of the window.

"Cara mia?" I looked at her, but she didn’t react, still staring outside "Lizzie!" I snapped my finger in front of her face and she flinched, looking at me.

"What?" she asked.

"What’s going on? Who called?" I smiled at her but she got up.

"I- umm I… that was… " she began and I tilted my head slightly.

"Full sentences, cara mia."

She began pacing back and forth, throwing her head back, groaning. Then she turned away.

"I got another phone call… from Madrid…" she said and her shoulders tensed.

"Diaz’ Doctor?" I asked and she nodded slightly.

Lizzie didn’t look at me, but by the way how she stood at the window, as far away as possible from me, I already knew what she was about to say. I heard her taking a deep breath before she turned around and looked at me, her mouth opening, no sound coming out. Then she closed it again and turned away. Taking a moment and then turning back around. She was fighting with herself and I knew why. I took her by the hands, leading her to the sofa, sitting down with her. We sat in silence while Lizzie was playing with my bracelet absently.

"Say it…" I said after a while and she looked up at me, biting her bottom lip.

"I thought about it… for a really long time…" she began and then stopped abruptly, getting up again. Pacing back and forth.

"Lizzie…" I said gently, grabbing her hand and pulling her down next to me again.

"I think- I know that’s… you know? I really think that…" her voice shaky, before she stopped again.

I could feel her anxiety and nervousness radiating from her. Saw her eyes frantically flitting around just to not look at me. Watched her fiddling with her cuticles.

"You want to go and talk to him…" I said and Lizzie tensed up, turning a little.

She looked at me for a moment, then looked down and took a deep breath.

"I need to know why… why he did all of that…" her voice barely above a whisper.

I gently cupped her cheeks, making her look at me, wiping away the single stray tear that had escaped.

"Then we’ll go. Together."

Chapter 36 - I’M BACK!!! FINALLY!!! And here is our next chapter… this one is again a little shorter and is more a filler chapter (I was so excited about the next chapter that I forgot that there are still some races in between 😅) NEXT CHAPTER IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITES!

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

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Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

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All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

[agustdiv1ne]

soobin who comes back from tour, super tired and wants nothing more than to hold you :( he really really really wants to tell you about all the cities he visited, the mischievous things the maknaes got up to, that one screaming MOA with the odi poster, and how yeonjun lost his phone 3 times in one day in new york, but he just falls asleep halfway through his rambling :( wakes up all confused, thinking he was still on tour and that seeing you in his arms was a dream, but bleary sleepy eyes turning wide and bright once he realizes you are, in fact, in his arms again :((

anon u rly know how to get me in my feels omfg

soobin would drop his things off at the dorm and immediately bail to go to your place. stumbling through the door of your apartment long after the sun has dipped below the horizon, his one and only goal is to find you and crush you in a hug :( he's been texting you all day, leg shaking as he traveled, just wanting to see you, to be able to hold you tight and melt into the comfort of your arms :(((( he hears the pitter patter of socked feet against the floor before a body collides with his back, arms wrapping around his torso...he can feel a smile pull at his lips as he locks the door before he's turning in your embrace and burying his face into the crown of your head <3

it's so cute, how he pulls you into bed, holding you close to his chest as he tells you how he missed you so much, telling you tour stories with slurred, exhausted words. you tell him that the two of you should sleep, but he'd adamant on staying up with you and updating you on anything and everything that happened throughout the tour. he falls asleep halfway through his sentences, only to wake up and finish them; the sight makes you giggle, and he eventually drifts off to sleep. pressing your lips to his forehead, you follow suit soon after

he wakes up and he thinks that last night had to have been a dream :( baby feels like crying because he's half asleep and he thinks he's in his hotel room back in la still...until a little hum reaches his ears, and the warm weight against his chest registers in his brain. his eyes shoot open and there you are, cuddled against his chest, looking like an absolute angel — and suddenly everything feels right in world. he's home, you're here, and nothing can beat the feeling of your soft skin beneath his fingers and your lips against his as you sleepily kiss each other awake <33333

[stonathandreamer]

Stonathan Headcanons to brighten your day Part 6✨

🔸 Stonathan Masterlist

🔹 Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

A/N: To celebrate today's Stonathan crumbs, have some headcanons! 🥳

✨ Steve baby talks to Jonathan whenever his boyfriend is tired or sleepy;

— *Yawns* "Man, I'm so tired."

— "Aw, is my baby sleepy? You want to go sleepy-sleepy, Jonny?"

— "Shut up, Harrington, you fucker, or I'll beat your ass again!"

— "Aw, someone's cranky..." *Gets a pillow thrown at his face*

✨ Jonathan can't keep still. He's repeatedly tapping his foot on the floor, bouncing his knees, drumming his fingers, or shifting his weight from one foot to the other, so every time he starts doing one of those things, Steve will attempt to try and distract his boyfriend by telling some lame jokes, starting a conversation, hold hands, anything to divert Jonathan's attention from his uneasiness/anxiety/discomfort. It always works;

✨ Fancy hair products have become a common sight in the Byers' bathroom - namely, Fabergé Organics and Farrah Fawcett spray;

✨ Mixtapes of The Clash, The Fall, Joy Division, Bowie, The Smiths, Television, Talking Heads, Oingo Boingo, Shock Therapy, The Psychedelic Furs, and Swing Set fill the glove compartment of Steve's car;

✨ There's ONE Abba mixtape in the glove compartment of Jonathan's car;

✨ They hum each other's favorite songs whenever they think of each other. Steve will find himself humming "Should I Stay or Should I Go" while working, prompting Robin to tease him, while Jonathan hums "Dancing Queen" while working on his photos;

✨ Jonathan steals Steve's clothes - mainly his jackets - because they're big and comfy, and Jonathan likes baggy clothes. In retaliation, Steve steals Jonathan's clothes, and he doesn't care at all if they're a bit too tight for him;

✨ You remember Jonathan's yellow pajama pants from Season 2? These pants:

Yeah, Steve stole them and never returned them to Jonathan. So Jonathan had to buy himself another pair;

✨ Accidentally switch sneakers regularly, to the point where it is not uncommon for Robin to see Steve wearing Jonathan's Converse and for Will to see his brother wearing Steve's Nikes;

✨ Jonathan knows what Steve will say before he can even open his mouth;

— *Opens his mouth*

— "No."

— "What? You didn't even let me say it!"

— "You were going to say something stupid, weren't you?"

— *Opens his mouth again before closing it and mumbling a "yeah."*

✨ Steve's a clingy drunk, always wanting to hug, kiss, and cuddle with Jonathan - much to his annoyance and slight amusement. I have a story about it, btw. You can read it here 🥰;

✨ Jonathan, on the super rare occasions when he does drink alcohol, is a happy drunk and talks with a slightly British accent (Charlie, baby, this a nod to you!), and Steve absolutely loves it - and also wonders how the hell can Jonathan perfectly mimic a British accent;

✨ Also, when Jonathan's drunk, he calls Steve "love" and "husband" - A/N: if British boyfriends can call their girlfriends "wife," Jonathan's drunk British persona can call his boyfriend "husband." - And that makes Steve's heart explode with love;

✨ On his first trip to the grocery store after moving to California, Jonathan automatically shopped for several hair products for Steve and only realized it when he arrived home. It was an "oh" moment for him, followed by him listening to "Dancing Queen" on repeat for an hour or so;

✨ When the Byers moved to California, Steve listened to the mixtapes in his glove compartment non-stop;

✨ Steve adores Jonathan's Season 4 hair! He loves playing with Jonathan's long hair, braiding it, putting it in a ponytail, wondering how the hell can Jonathan's hair look so effortlessly good and fluffy like a Golden Retriever's fur;

✨ Jonathan's the one who always does the cooking because Steve sucks at making anything other than fried eggs;

✨ Steve tried using some of the tactics he used with his previous girlfriends on Jonathan, like taking him to watch a horror movie so Jonathan could cling to him when scared, only to realize they're ineffective on Jonathan. And worst of all, Jonathan picks super scary movies that make Steve cling to him instead;

✨ Joyce threatened Steve when she found out they were dating. She was happy, yes, but if he ever hurt her son, his ass is grass. Hopper, on the other hand, uses his status as Chief of Police to threaten him with jail time if he ever hurts his (step) son. It's not uncommon for Steve to be pulled up by the Chief whenever he's driving around Hawkins - I have a story about it, btw. You can read it here 🥰;

✨ You remember Steve's blue Adidas he used to match with his Scoops Ahoy uniform?

Yeah, Jonathan bought those for him;

✨ Steve helps Jonathan tie his ties when he used to work at the Hawkins Post;

✨ Take turns in being the little spoon/big spoon;

✨ Steve's a constant presence in the Byers' house, though he enters through the window more times than through the front door - Joyce knows, by the way. He's not that stealthy;

✨ Jonathan doesn't like staying at Steve's house. It's too big and too cold for his liking. A sentiment Steve shares, so they spend most of the time at Jonathan's house;

✨ They have an agreement when it comes to parties. Steve wants to go with Jonathan to parties (even though they need to go as friends and not boyfriends because, well, it's the '80s), and Jonathan doesn't want to disappoint his boyfriend, but his social battery and anxiety can't handle parties, so they came up with an agreement - Jonathan will go with Steve to one party per month, and they'll stay there as long as he can endure. Terms Steve happily agrees to because he values Jonathan's well-being and opinions, and honestly, he'd rather stay at the party with Jonathan for five minutes than stay two whole hours without him;

✨ Steve was definitely jealous of Argyle when Jonathan spoke about him for the first time. What do you mean his boyfriend befriended a long-haired Californian? Who is this guy? Is his hair better than Steve's?!

✨ Jonathan was also definitely jealous of Steve's friendship with Robin until she told him she was a lesbian - another "Oh" moment for Jonathan that granted him the nickname of "Dingus 2;"

✨ Steve loves to hear Jonathan talking. He could listen to him talk for an hour unending;

✨ Steve has a copy of the Hawkins Post newspaper safely guarded in his desk's drawer with a photo with the subtitles "Photo by: Jonathan Byers;"

✨ Jonathan has a whole album filled with photos of Steve and him. The cover has clippings of letters from various magazines that form:

[concreteburialplot]

VIRALITY // 09

-> 09 - Lavender Haze

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x fem!oc (vallie)

masterlist/intro: here | crossposted: ao3

word count: 7.1k

warnings: mention of alcohol/dependency, weed, arguing, angry/jealous/dom ruffilo, business talk, oral (f receiving), p n v (unprotected), dirty talk, cream pie, fingering, d/s dynamics if you squint, almost getting caught, kinda messy ?, mention of std testing/birth control, fluff ?????????¿ cuddling, important plot stuff, 18+ ONLY MDNI

a/n: don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)

VALLIE

When we get to their house, I’m grateful for the empty driveway, which means no Jolly and no Folio. Nobody else to know about this.

I round Nicholas’ car to open the passenger door for Noah.

“Hey, hey.” I pat his cheek to wake him up.

The singer looks up at me with glazed over, sleepy eyes. His drinks finally caught up to him, especially the last ones before we left which he claimed, “helped with the pain”.

The whole bar fight was quite sobering for me, but a small bit of alcohol is still running through me, and that tiny bit is not helping me with this 6’3 drunken baby. His slim face is so beat up and while my patience is waning, I still feel guilty. While he’s paper thin, when I pull on his skinny arm, he feels so heavy.

“C’mon Sebastian let’s go.” Nicholas finally makes his way around, snapping at Noah to get up. I’m glad Nick is here but he wasn’t much fun on the way home either. He kind of reminded me of a father having to pick up his drunken teenager. It makes me wonder how many times he’s done this song and dance with Noah.

Nicholas dips into the car and pulls the long-haired boy out easily. He comes to just a bit, enough to notice who’s holding him and seems to relax. I notice how sleepy Noah leans into Nick and nudges his head into the crook of his neck. I can tell Nicholas isn’t happy with the situation but even still, he wraps an arm tight around Noah’s waist. The scene is so delicate considering the circumstances of how we got here.

Nick gestures to me to sling his right arm around my shoulders to help carry a mumbling and incoherent Noah inside. We hobble him through the front door of the empty house and by a miracle we got him upstairs to his room in one piece.

The actions of babying a drunk Noah and throwing him into bed felt all too much like déjà vu. His room was the same, if not worse, than from that night of the party. There are so many clothes and so much trash on the ground that I can barely see the floor. Nicholas and I basically used our feet to push a path through to his bed. There was only a tiny sliver of mattress even visible, the rest was piled up with just… garbage. At least, it looks like garbage. We plop him on the bit of mattress just like last time and try to navigate our way out. Just as we reach the door, there’s a stir behind us followed by a sleepy groan.

“Nicky?” Noah’s voice cracks.

Nicky

Nicky?

Nicholas tenses up immediately, I can’t tell if it’s because he doesn’t like the name or if he doesn’t like me hearing it.

“Nicky.” He whines again, calling him over.

Nick sighs and looks at me gesturing me to go on without him. I make my way to the door and watch from behind the doorframe while he makes his way back over to the boy.

When Nicholas reaches the bed, Noah’s tattooed arms swing around his waist, pressing the side of his face into Nick’s tummy while he’s still laying down. I squint my eyes to see what Nicholas is doing to find that he’s brushing Noah’s hair out of his face.

“Thank you.” Noah mumbles against his shirt.

“I know.” Nick replies softly.

I step out of the doorway before Nicholas turns to leave to make it seem like I hadn’t just witnessed that.

Once I’m alone with Nicholas, I sense that he’s fuming which is a much different vibe that the one that was just stroking Noah’s hair.

“Why the fuck would you take him out drinking in the middle of the day?” He asks through grinding teeth. The way he poses the question implies that it was my idea, like it was my fault. Which I guess it half was.

“I don’t know? He made me go to this meeting with Bryan and-”

“He took you to meet Bryan?” He interrupts.

“Yeah? To brainstorm for the music video?” I answer as if it was obvious.

“Music video?” He sucks at his teeth, taking an aggravated step back. “Funny how this is the first time I’m hearing about a fucking music video.” He drags his fingers across his forehead in a pinch. “I need a drink, or a blunt or… something.” He sighs then turns away from me heading towards his room down the hall.

I decide to follow him, “Why is a music video bad?” I ask, confused.

He glares at me from his open bedroom door, “If you’re gonna pry you might as well help me with this blunt.”

I tug at my bottom lip in thought. I shouldn’t stay here with him, and I definitely shouldn’t be smoking with him while still a bit tipsy, but curiosity gets the best of me. “Fine.”

His room is dark and lit with LED, neon, and decorative lights on almost every surface. Opposed to Noah’s, his room is neat, tidy, and spotless. His bed is pressed against the wall and perfectly made with grey sheets, a black duvet and coordinating pillows. I set my bag down on the ground in front of his bedside table and sit on the end of the bed right behind his desk chair. He has a similar gaming set up to Noah’s, two monitors, a long light-up mousepad, and some other neon lights. There’s even some plushies in the corner of his desk that I recognize to be some animals from video games. He sits on his gaming chair which is black and blue opposed to Noah’s black and red. Reaching across the desk, he grabs a jar, a lighter and part of a wrapping leaf.

“I thought you said you can’t roll?” I ask as he starts filling the brown wrapper with ground weed.

It isn’t until the smell of green hits my nose that I realize there’s also a sweet smell filling the room, something like butterscotch. I track the smell to find a burning candle sitting on a bookshelf across the small room.

“I can’t. But Folio’s been trying to teach me.” His focus is on evening out the grounds across the leaf. His tongue begins to carefully dampen the edges of the wrap and the sight of it sends a buzzing down between my legs. He was so good with just his cock… I can’t imagine what his tongue would do to me.

I press my thighs together and shift in my seat then clear my throat, “So, what’s so bad about Noah wanting to make a music video?”

He sighs harshly, “It’s not about the music video, it’s about him making decisions without us.” His tongue does one last swipe before sealing the roll completely. “And because of,” Gesturing towards Noah’s room with the blunt between his fingers, “That.”

I furrow my brows, “Because of what?”

The lighter sizzles the end of the roll and burns a cherry red when he inhales. “The drinking.”

The words flash me back when I overheard them in the kitchen when Nicholas asked him about meetings. Guilt swells in my chest knowing I contributed to it today. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault he’s a fucking drunk.” He exhales thick smoke above us. “He gets like this then does a bunch of shit without talking to us first. That’s how Just Pretend got released as a single before we even have an album finished.”

He’s getting riled up but seems to stop himself from continuing, choosing to take another hit, maybe in the hopes of it calming him down.

I take the blunt from his offering hand and put it to my glossy lips, leaving a rim of light pink when I pull away to exhale. “He really did that?”

“Vallie, our album is barely halfway done. We haven’t even chosen a title yet.” He says watching me inhale again. “That is who you wanna put the focus of the band on, that is who you wanna draw people in with: a drunken fucking mess.” He hisses and snatches the roll the second I offer it back. His tone and actions are getting increasingly more aggressive, in a way I’ve never seen him before – not that I’ve really known him for that long, but it makes me nervous either way.

“I mean… he is the lead singer.” I counter, even though I know he’s not going to like it.

Nicholas’ thick brow hangs low over his eye, “He’s a liability. Since you’re so concerned with money and numbers, that should be very clear to you.”

He’s right.

If Noah can get as unhinged and unpredictable as he’s saying and as I saw today, he is a liability.

I’m a fool for not realizing it sooner, but maybe the glimmer of hope from his small cooperation blinded me.

Regardless, Noah’s reckless behavior is something to think about… when I’m not cross faded with the band member I already fucked.

“It doesn’t really matter if he’s a drunk, Nicholas.” I steal the blunt back and perch it between my index and middle fingers. “If we do this correctly the girls will be flocking to him.” I take in a short puff and let it out. “And to you, to the band as a whole.”

He rolls his eyes so hard I think they might fall out. “Oh, cut the business jargon Vallie. We get it, everyone wants to fuck Noah fucking Sebastian.” He shoots up from his seat in aggravation.

So much for the weed calming him down.

My brows knit together confused at the inherent jealousy. If I was more foolish, I’d think this jealousy was over just me, but it seems much more complex than that. It’s murky and conflicted and I feel a piece or two missing in the puzzle.

It’s not uncommon for band members to be jealous of their frontman and to an extent, I feel this is true for them as well. But there’s still something more than that.

Something more complicated.

More confusing.

Could it be…

No, of course not. Right?

Perhaps it’s not just me he’s jealous over.

I shake the thoughts from my head, today is not the day to unpack any of that. Maybe it’s the weed that’s making me overanalyze things.

The smoke over filling my nose reminds me that I’m in possession of the still lit blunt, so I take it and smash its sizzling end into the ashtray.

“This isn’t about whether or not people want to fuck Noah, this is about the success of the band Nick.” I stand to meet his face, so he’ll actually listen to me. Well, look up at his face anyway.

Never in my entire career have I ever had to convince anyone this much to make more money.

“The band is already successful.” He snaps back, his eyes stone cold grey looking down at me.

I’m not about to insult his band again so I shift the topic, “As I said before, fangirls don’t mean just for Noah. Sure, he’ll get the most, that’s natural. But they’ll be there for you too. Don’t you want that?”

“No.” He says shortly.

“You don’t want your own group of girls that you get to pick and choose from at every show?” I say, leaning heavy on the clichés of it all. “Girls that are begging to be backstage and are willing to give you anything you want?”

But it’s not until then, as it’s coming out of my mouth, that I realize the idea of it settles a weird pit in my own stomach. It’s something also reminiscent of jealousy but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Odd.

“No, I don’t want fucking fangirls Vallie.” He says through gritted teeth.

“What kind of fucking rockstar doesn’t want fangirls?” I can tell he’s being purposely difficult and it’s making me begin to lose my composure.

“Oh my god, are you really this fucking dense? This isn’t about fucking groupies.” He nearly spits the word.

I’m trying to put puzzle pieces together in my head but they’re not fitting. I don’t understand his anger, where it’s coming from or the reason.

“Then what the fuck is this about then? Because I called him hot at our meeting the other day? Because we went out drinking today?”

Bingo.

His eyes narrow down at me and I’m suddenly extremely aware of his height. He’s not as tall as Noah, but he still towers over me. “I just think it’s funny that you’re trying to make a sex symbol out of a man who couldn’t make you cum if he tried.” He hisses, his steel eyes warn me not to push.

But I do, I always push.

“Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?”

He gives a breathy chuckle and brings his hand to hold my chin up by the tips of his fingers. “If he wasn’t a passed out drunken mess right now, I’d drag him in here to prove me right.”

My eyes widen not just at his words but at his deep voice that shifted into something sinister. He has to be joking right? He wouldn’t actually bring Noah in here to do…that, would he? And why is the thought of it… of both of them causing a throbbing between my legs.

Regardless, fear creeps up my chest one rib at a time and gets lodged in my throat. My mind can’t comprehend how Nicholas can go from his normal sweetness to something that scares the shit out of me.

“Why do you care if he couldn’t make me cum?” I ask for some stupid reason. “And you only made me come once, how do I know it wasn’t just some miracle? I was drunk after all.” I pop a brow and cross my arms over my chest.

I never was one for cooperation.

His hand seamlessly slides down from my chin to around my throat. There’s no pressure beneath his fingertips but they’re taunting a good squeeze.

“If you don’t keep your mouth shut, I’ll have to prove you wrong.” I swallow hard under his grip and squeeze my thighs together. I shouldn’t be this turned on by him talking to me like this. “Did it feel like a miracle? Did it feel like I don’t know how to make you feel good?”

My eyes glance at the barely cracked open door nervous that someone would see, and he catches me. “Noah is passed out. Nobody else is home, nobody to help you out of this.” He growls and presses a tad on the sides of my neck. My eyes widen at him, at how easily he can control me from just one hand on my body. The rest of my body is begging to bow to him. “Answer the question.”

I gulp slightly and question my options. I could take the safe route, the route I should be taking, and tell him what he wants to hear so I can leave. However, that’s not what the pooling in my panties is telling me to do. I readjust under his grasp with still crossed arms and a straightened back. “I’ve had plenty of guys who’ve only been able to make me cum maybe once. You’re probably the same.”

I didn’t think his brows could lower any further and his eyes turn a dark stormy gray. Long, messy strands of black hair shadow across his face menacingly and there’s a tinge of true terror in my stomach. In one fell swoop, he slams me onto the bed with his hand still stapled around my neck. He nestles his head by my ear while his hand trails down my body, “I know you’re used to talking to the others like that, but you’ll learn not to talk to me that way.” He whispers lowly and the grip on my throat tightens ever so slightly. His hand lingers around the waistband of my skirt and somehow already found the hidden zipper. He roughly tugs it down past my ankles and forcefully spreads my thighs open with his leg. His hand moves up from my throat to grip my jaw hard and looks straight into my eyes, “I can fuck you better than that pathetic mess ever could.”

I’m melting under his touch; he looks nearly angelic despite his devilish demeanor. His raven hair is long, wild, and framing his face perfectly. His necklace with the thorny circular band symbol hangs just above my face and it takes every ounce of self-control not to pull it into my mouth. I want all of him, every part.

 Though everything right now is really intense, all I want to do is kiss him. So, I do just that. Quickly, before he has a chance to stop me, I gently take his face into my hands and meet his lips with mine. He gives in immediately and matches my energy making the kiss soft and tender even though he’s about to tear me apart. I really enjoy this about him, this duality he contains, and I can’t tell which side of it I like more.

It doesn’t take long for the kiss to escalate and for our tongues to be fighting for dominance, but his hand never leaves my jaw. He draws a finger up my drenched covered slit then circles around my swollen nub. A small whimper escapes me into the kiss and a smirk tugs across his face. “I’ve barely touched you and you’re already making a mess.”

I squeeze my eyes shut trying my best not to fall apart in his hands already. My hands are burning for him and all I want to do is touch him. I feebly go to palm the visible strain in his sweatpants, but his hand leaves my throat and snatches my wrist, pinning it to the bed. “You’ll touch me when I want you to touch me.” He growls. My eyes widen at his words and renders me speechless. “Is that understood?” He demands and I nod quickly.

His hands rake down my body until he’s on his knees between my legs, his fingers hook into the band of my panties and rip them down. Fingertips ghost-trail up my inner thigh which only worsens the pulsing in my clit begging for him. He then gently runs two fingers up my folds using my arousal to easily glide up and down slowly, from my bud to my entrance. I’ve never had any other man take his time like this, it’s almost like he’s taking the time to learn my body and how I react to anything he does. Like a predator learns its prey. His fingers spread me apart, causing every muscle in my body to tense up from being so exposed to him.

“So pretty.” He mutters. The sides of his fingertips begin to slowly scissoring around my clit and I unintentionally let out a small whine. I feel him smirk into a kiss he presses onto my inner thigh. “Maybe making you cum will fix your little attitude problem.”

The comment pisses me off, but it’s not enough to risk not getting his mouth on me, so I let it slide. I’m nearly vibrating under any touch he gives me and I’m so desperate for more.

He leaves a trail of kisses up my thigh until he reaches my core, each kiss reminds me how much my lips miss his. Time is moving too slow for my growing impatience. The second his tongue meets where I need him most, pleasure blooms across my body. He then slides two fingers inside, curling them directly into my sweet spot. I bite down on my bottom lip to contain my noises. In delicious unison, his tongue and fingers work together perfectly. His tongue is circling and rolling against my sensitivity and making me feel a knot in my stomach begin to grow already. There’s so much pleasure and tension built up in my body that all it wants to do is let it out in noises. I bring a hand to cover my mouth to stifle any moans that threaten to escape.

He rolls his tongue flat against me and pulls away just a bit. “Nobody’s home and Noah’s passed out.” He reminds me. “You can be as loud as you want for me.” He says before going to lightly kitten lick at my clit. “I wanna hear how I good I make you feel.” I look down to see him giving me a prideful smirk that makes me want to ravage him back.

That’s all the invitation I need to let my moans pour out with every roll of his tongue or curve of his fingers. My hand flies down to grip his hair, raking it through and gripping the root. “Fuck!”

“C’mon baby let it out,” He says against my core. “I know you can be louder than that.”

A loud moan rips out of my chest and my hips roll up into his mouth, “Fuck Nick!”

I’m so close already it’s embarrassing. Goosebumps erupt all over my skin and I’m tingly all over, down to my toes. My body is overwhelmed with his tongue rolling and swiping at my sensitive clit and his fingers knowing exactly where my g-spot is. I’m so needy and so desperate, I feel like I could just explode.

I grip on tight to his locks and rut my pussy into his mouth. He is the only thing in my head. In this moment, my mind belongs wholly to him. He lets me know that he loves the way I’m reacting to him by using his free hand to grip onto my thigh tug me closer. The louder I get the harder he works and the harder his fingers dig into my thigh.

The tight knot in my stomach feels like it’s about to snap. “Fuck, Fuck!” I cry, my legs involuntarily closing in around his head.

“Give in to me baby, cum for me, will you?” He says between licks. “Be a good girl and cum for me.”

I’m nearly blinded by his words. I’ve never been called anything like that before nor have I ever thought I’d like it. But that was it, that tipped me over the edge.

My back arched violently from the bed and my fingers curled tightly into his hair. Euphoria washes over my entire body and I’m seeing only fuzzy white. I can’t control the noises that leave my mouth but I’m sure if anybody heard them, they’d assume this was an exorcism.

He doesn’t stop until I fall limp under him and twitch at every tiny flick of his tongue. He finishes by cleaning all my juices up with one fat stripe up my slit. He looks up and chuckles at me, “You did such a good job for me.” He presses a kiss on my knee. For some reason his words make me feel warm all over.

He pulls his fingers from me and the emptiness they leave behind makes me crave his cock even more. He brings them to his lips, taking each tattooed finger into his mouth, sucking them clean. He smirks at the taste and at how I’m looking at him like I could devour him whole. The violet glow from the lights around us illuminate his features beautifully. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear there’s starlight draped across his skin, sprinkled above his brow, across his cheek bone and down the perfect slope of his nose. The purple reflects into his silver eyes making them look as though they encapsulate some lavender cosmos. Everything about him is so delicious, it’s hard to focus on just one part of him. He’s gorgeous.

He tethers me back to earth when runs his hands up and down my thighs as if to soothe me. “Are you okay?” The front of his brows tilted up.

“Yeah, yeah.” I nod my head.

“Do you want to continue?” He asks.

I inadvertently smile at the question. “Yeah, I do.”

The ends of his lips curl into a happy grin then leans down to gently cup my cheek and presses a soft kiss to my lips. He feels like ice water on a scorching summer day. I know I’m going to regret this when it’s over, but right now, it feels too good to pass up.

“Hold on let me get a condom.” He goes to reach behind him into his nightstand.

“Oh um, we don’t need one. I’m on birth control.” I say shyly. “If you want to that is, of course.”

He gives me a skeptical look, maybe surprised that I even said anything. “Are you sure?”

I stare at him just for a second contemplating if it’s a smart idea but the insatiable need for him convinces me it’s fine. I nod.

He pats my outer thigh telling me to make room for him. I scooch backwards in the bed as he slides his sweats down, letting his cock spring free. My mouth waters at the sight of it – the first time on the couch I only felt it in the darkness, but now I see it, every ridge and vein. I’m throbbing at the mere idea of him inside me. “Please fuck me.” I ask desperately, looking up at him.

He grips my cheeks and looks directly into my eyes. “It’s cute that you think you can tell me what to do.” He hisses and I’m suddenly once again afraid of what he could do to me.

He teases my entrance with his tip rolling it up and down my slit excruciatingly slow. While he is deliberately taking his time, the lustful glint in his eyes tell me that he’s just as needy as me. Finally, he slides in, stretching me out a bit painfully. I don’t remember him being so thick, but it was probably the alcohol that helped me to adjust to his size.

He lets out a deep groan once he’s bottomed out. “Fuck you’re so tight.”

Heat fills my cheeks at his comment and I’m putty in his hands again. I go to grab his face but quickly pull away remembering his instruction to not touch without permission. He looks at me confused with knitted brows.

“I just um, I just,” My stomach is suddenly filled with butterflies with razor wings, “Could you kiss me again?” I ask with a timid, almost embarrassed voice.

A smile tugs at his lips like it’s the easiest task he’s ever been asked to do. He leans down, cups my cheek in his hand and meets our lips once more. It’s gentle and sweet while he rubs his thumb across my cheekbone tenderly. “You were so good for me.” He says quietly within a small gap between our lips.

The praise makes my heart swell, only making me want to be better for him. I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him closer into the kiss and wrap my legs around his hips pulling him deeper inside me. Slowly he begins rolling his hips into me, his length filling me over and over.

“Fuck.” I breathe out as he speeds up, “Fuck you feel so good.”

His head falls into my neck and begins peppering open mouth kisses into it while he buries himself into me. He kisses on all my sweet spots only increases the buzzing in my clit. His cock is so big that it fills me up completely and then some. He stretches me more than I thought was possible – it stings, but in the best way. I blink the tears from eyes from the pain.

“So good baby, taking fucking all of it.” He grunts as he thrusts into me hard and fast.

I’m so fucked out, my body has basically gone limp below him as he fucks me senseless. I’m on a pink fluffy cloud of building pleasure and my eyesight blurs everything around me. I can’t think about anything other than him. Right now, I am his, wholly, completely, entirely.

I let out a strangled moan as my hands reach around him to his back, digging my nails into it. He hisses at the pain of it.

“What did I tell you about touching?” He asks in a low whisper beneath my ear and fear climbs up my spine.

“I’m sorry.” I squeak.

His thrusts increase when he pulls back. I whine at the loss of contact on my neck. His hands roughly grab each of my wrists and pin them above my head while his length drives into my sweet spot.

His grip tightens around my wrists while the other slithers down my body. His fingers ever so lightly graze my skin and leaves a trail of goosebumps behind. The pads of his fingers find my aching clit and begins kneading slow circles into it. I wriggle beneath him from the sudden stimulation and let out a whimper.

“What did I say about touching?” He repeats and I dare not stay silent again.

“I’m not allowed to touch you.” I struggle to say past the noises threatening to leave me.

In contrast to earlier, his face now is angular and sharp. His thick, dark brows are low and menacing.

“Why can’t I touch you?” I ask meekly, although perhaps not the smartest idea.

He dips his head into the crook of my neck while his hips continue to crash against mine like waves to sand. “Because when you touch me, I can’t be responsible for what I’ll do.” He whispers low and raspy. “It makes me want to fuck you like that pussy is all mine. It makes me want to fuck you until you’re so sore that you can’t stop thinking about my cock, not even for a second.”

My eyes widen flutter closed and roll my hips up into him. His words are driving a rampant pulsing in my clit that he’s so deliciously helping with his fingers.

I blink up at him, “Maybe I want that.”

His face his twisted in concentration and now confusion. “What?”

“Well, I… maybe I want those things. Maybe I want you to take my pussy as yours. Maybe I don’t want to stop thinking about your big fucking cock. “I straighten out my shoulders. “Maybe I want to feel empty without you inside me.”

“Fuck.” He breathes out and speeds up, both in his thrusts but his fingers on my nub.

My body fills with tingling, budding excitement. He rails into me mercilessl, and I love every second, every inch of him – no matter how much it hurts.

His face falls into the crook of my neck and fills my ears with raspy breaths. “Fuck I’m close.”

“Me too.” I breathe out. “Cum inside me, please.”

He lets out a deep groan below my ear. “Fuck.” His thrusts become quick and hasty, but still precise and deliberate. The added speed to his momentum tips me over the edge.

“Fuck!” I yell out as my orgasm crashes into me like tidal wave. I feel the need to anchor myself to something, anything. One arm hooks around his neck, holding on for dear life. My other arm is tangled in the duvet and yanks on it so hard that it rips the sheet off the corner. My eyes roll back in bliss as he drills into me ruthlessly. Moans, curses and his name all tumble from my mouth.

It seems that enough to push him over the edge too. “Fuck. Fuck I’m gonna cum.” He grunts just before he stills for a moment, and I feel his cock twitch and spill his seed deep inside me. He lets out a long groan as he continues to rut into me through his orgasm.

When we come down from our high, Nick pulls from me and lands next to me in bed. He leaves me with an emptiness between my legs that apparently only his cock can satiate. But being filled to the brim with his cum definitely helps with that.

My eyelids are heavy as they slow blink up at the ceiling where the glow of his lights illuminate the edges of the room. Our mutual heavy breathing is the only noise filling up the room.

“You alright?” He asks, looking at me in the dimness.

“Mhm.” I turn my head slowly towards him, he’s glistening in sweat, the baby hairs that frame his face are stuck against his skin. He looks beautiful like this.

I never really thought a man could be beautiful. Handsome? Sure.

Cute? Yeah.

Hot? Of course.

But he supersedes them all. He’s stunning, angelic, nearly ethereal.

Of course, this gorgeous man has to be my client. I shouldn’t even be in his bed right now.

The warmth of his body next to me isn’t doing me any favors. After the whole Noah/bar situation earlier and all of me and Nicholas’ … activities, I’m drained completely. I can’t help but nuzzle into him, laying a bit on his arm.

I half expect him to pull away or make some snappy remark, but he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls his arm out from under me and wraps it around my shoulders.

My first instinct was to run but my exhausted body refuses. I cuddle onto his chest sleepily. My arm stretches across his front.

I am far too tired to be worried about the consequences. Through in my half-awake state I mumble, “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“We shouldn’t be doing any of this.” He clarifies while raking though my hair gently. “But I can’t help it, I don’t know. I can’t help what you do to me.”

My cheeks burn hot at the compliment. “Shut up.”

I think about it for a moment longer and it sets an odd, confused, sad pit in my stomach. “No but really we shouldn’t be doing this.”

He’s silent. “I know.”

I gulp staring at the wall.

I don’t even really know what “this” is, but I don’t want to think about it now. And I certainly don’t want to ask. I’m not even sure if it is anything or if it’s anything I want more of.

“If the others find out…”

“I know.” He stops me.

Another factor slips into my mind. “If they find out, they won’t take me seriously.”

I see his face twist in thought, maybe trying to calculate if that’s true. “Yeah, maybe… I guess.”

I don’t have the energy to explain the implications of it all, so I leave it. I sigh and hide my face in his chest.

Suddenly there’s a stir from outside the room that disrupts the calm peace between us.

A door opens from down the hall.

Nicholas’ eyes shoot open, “Fuck it’s Noah.” He whispers urgently. “Get under the covers.” He directs and I listen.

I quickly flip the duvet over the top of both of us and lay as flat as possible beside him. He places an extra pillow on top of me.

There’s a soft knuckle knock at the bedroom door that’s been cracked open this entire time.

“Uh, come in!” Nick calls.

The door creaks open. “Hey.” Croaks a still somewhat drunk Noah.

“Hey dude… what’s up?” Nick asks.

Discreetly, he slips his hand beneath the covers and taps his finger gently against the bed. I take the hint and intertwine the tips of our fingers together. My tummy flips at the way he gives my fingers a little squeeze. It’s a small gesture, but it’s one that says some version of ‘partners in crime’.

“Were you… were you watching porn or something?” He asks, no doubt with a propped brow.

“What?” Nicks voice cracks. “No, no, I’ve just been watching…” He takes note of whatever’s on the TV. “Bob’s Burgers.”

“Oh…” Noah trails off unconvinced. “I just heard loud… noises coming from your room.”

My cheeks flush cherry red in embarrassment that I had been that loud. Nicholas gives my fingers another tiny reassuring squeeze.

“Nope, nope.” Nick shakes his head. “Nope, just Bob’s Burgers.”

“Right…” Noah replies. “Also, um, I just wanted to say thank you for rescuing me… us, from our mess.”

Us.

Our.

Nicholas nods, “Yeah of course, no problem.” He says hurriedly.

There’s an awkward silence between them. I can only assume it’s Noah giving Nick an odd look.

“Okay well… I’ll let you get back to… Bob’s Burgers then I guess.” Noah tapers out.

As the door begins to keep closed Nicholas blurts out, “Drink water!”

Noah pauses at the door, “I will. Thanks.” Before closing it behind him.

Both Nicholas and I are frozen in place until we hear Noah’s door close. I pop my head out from the duvet and the moment our eyes meet we bust out laughing. I press my forehead against my arm flat on the mattress laughing probably the hardest I have in a while.

Nick hits my shoulder playfully. “Shhh!” He whispers between his own giggles. “He’s gonna hear us!”

I swat his arm, “You’re laughing too you asshole!”

My chest hurts from both how hard I’m laughing and how much I’m trying to stop.

“’Were you watching porn?’” I imitate Noah which causes another fit of laughter.

“God.” Nick shakes his head. “That was pretty bad.”

I sigh and drag my hands down my face. “God I’m so fucking embarrassed.” I whine and land my face down into my folded arms.

“Yeah, I guess that’s kinda my fault. I thought he was knocked out.” Nicholas rakes through my hair softly. “I would say I’m sorry… but I’m not. I loved making you sound like that.”

I prop my head on my arm to scowl at him. “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended to be compared to a pornstar. Jesus.”

He chuckles and tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear then trails his fingertips across my jaw, tilting my chin up. “I’ve never heard a pornstar sound as good as you did with my tongue in your-“

I reach up and cover his mouth before he can finish because I know if he does, I won’t be able to leave without having him again. “Shush!”

He rolls his eyes with a smile tugging at the corner of his lip.

Quiet falls over us before panic courses through me and I perk straight up. Oh my god I’m such a fucking idiot.

Nick wiggles his brows at me, “You good?”

“Jesus I’m so stupid. I was only concerned about the birth control but I didn’t even fucking ask if you’re clean?” I ask, the reality of my horny decisions hit me all at once.

Truthfully, I was selfish, and I wanted to feel him fully. Though it didn’t occur to me until just now that he is a musician after all.

“Yeah?” He answers without hesitation. “Are you?”

“Yes. Of course.” I reply like it’s obvious. “But are you sure? Because I know, like, being in a band and everything…”

“Yeah, I got tested recently. I’m clean.” He leans over and pulls out a folded paper from somewhere in his bedside table, and hands it to me. “Here. Proof.”

I unfold the paper to reveal exactly what he said, negative test results. But then I notice the date. “Recently? This is over a year old?” I flip the page towards him.

“Yeah,” He clears his throat. “I haven’t slept with anyone since then.”

I scoff, “You? Haven’t slept with anyone in over a year?”

“Except you? No.” He shakes his head.

I squint at him skeptically and cautiously hand he paper back to him. “I find that hard to believe. I mean you’re…well you.”

“I’m not quite sure what that’s supposed to mean but,” He sighs and sits up a bit, “My ex and I broke up just before that.”

“Got it.” I nod. I wonder if that’s the ex Noah mentioned in the kitchen weeks ago, Alice. But I’m certainly not going to ask and then have to explain how I know that.

I lay back down and reclaim my spot from earlier, cuddling into him with my head on his chest — even though I definitely should be trying to escape before the rest of them get home. It’s been a long while since I’ve had someone to cuddle like this, it’s nice and warm. I probably shouldn’t feel safe with someone I barely know, but I do, and I can already feel it starting to lull me to sleep. Sleep is not something that comes easy to me, most nights I only get about 4 hours of it.

His fingers begin to play with my hair and my heart swells. I can’t help but nuzzle into him further, he makes a small comfortable noise. The pads of his fingers start to massage my scalp.

I’m not sure if he just assumed I fell asleep, but a quiet hummed melody comes from his chest. It’s familiar and comforting but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

I know this song

What is it

Without lifting my head, “Is that twinkle twinkle little star?”

He chuckles, sounding a bit embarrassed. “Yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was cute.” I dig my teeth into my bottom lip to hold back a smile even though he can’t see me. “I liked it. Keep going?”

He’s quiet.

“Do you ever sing? I don’t hear a lot of other vocals on your tracks besides backups.”

He laughs, “No, no. I can’t sing. Not really anyway. The only thing I think I’m half decent is twinkle twinkle little star, that’s why I hum it. I don’t really know why. Maybe I sang it a lot as kid or something? But I hum it sometimes if I’m stressed or nervous.”

I stay silent for a bit. “Are you nervous right now?”

Quiet.

“Yeah, I guess a bit. But mostly I thought it’d help you sleep.” His finger tucks a hit of hair behind my ear.

“Why are you nervous?”

“I don’t know.”

But I know.

“Me too.” I reply quietly.

He seems to understand as I do.

I hear his heart rate pick up under my head. My own heartbeat matches his and suddenly I feel like I’m in high school hanging out with a crush for the first time. I’m so grateful that I’m not facing him because my face is burning hot.

“Can you sing it to me?” I ask.

He chuckles anxiously, “No, no, no. My voice isn’t that good, and the song is so lame.”

“C’mon,” I search for his hand and hesitantly intertwine our fingers. “Please I wanna hear it?”

He lets out a small, flustered groan, “Fine. But you can’t make fun of me. And this doesn’t,” He gives my fingers a tight squeeze. “This does not leave this room. Ever. Got it?”

I giggle. “Got it.”

He timidly begins singing and his voice is light, soft, and smooth. Which isn’t really what I expected from his deep, grainy voice. It’s beautiful and soothing, nonetheless.

Between his voice and his fingers massaging my head, I don’t last long enough to even hear the second verse.

Next Chapter -> 10 - Maybe Both, Maybe Neither

tag list; @ladyveronikawrites @kingdomof-omens @persuasivus @strawberryruffilo @thebadchic @the-hell-i-overcame @sinkingteethinwhitenoise @cncohshit [comment if you'd like to be tagged?]

A/N: The love for this story has honestly been so overwhelming (in a good way obv) and I couldn't be more grateful. I really thought this would flop lol so, thank you so much for every like, reblog, ask, or comment. It means the world to me truly. Thank you.

i love hearing your thoughts so feel free to share! (i'm really bad at responding to comments/asks but i still love them 😅 i'm so sorry)

ALSO! Thank you so much for the love on my new series, Intertwined 💗 New chapter coming soon! 💗

[softdomhailie]

Hey, do you know of any more blogs that do writing similar to yours? I'm especially on the hunt for the sort of softer kinky stuff with lots of checkins and encouragement. Sadly, the tags for soft kink are completely swamped with sadly not so soft posts so I'm having a hard time finding blogs to follow.

Hi, thank you for the ask :)! I hope you're having a lovely day ^_^ Yknow, I absolutely feel you. I honestly don't follow many blogs that are totally soft without something else being peppered in. A lot of blogs I follow are quite mixed, but also I get most of my comfort in this sort of area from fanfiction, so my fav blogs are all fanfic blogs! If you are into Witcher - I have a list as long as my arm 🤣

I totally agree with you though, if anyone has any recs, please, please feel free to reblog and add stuff here because I am on the look out too!

Rest of this reply has mentions of food, feeding, praise for eating, soft feedism kink rec :)

One blog comes to mind for me here right enough, it's a specific kink blog: @likebreadandwine . This is a blog described as "encouragement to folks who like to eat too much" - I got recommended this blog by a friend a few years back and I think that any kink writing that encourages self love and encouragement is just so wonderful. I didn't think this kink was going to be something I would enjoy, to keep it vague, because of my own unhealthy relationship with food & mental health and how this kink is shown to people on tv/film etc. My friend who recommended some fics then recommended this blog, and it was such a great recommendation. I am someone who just loves cooking and seeing how people feel when they eat something that I have made, and the link up between enjoying what you're eating and sharing that with someone where you heap on praise. I also feel like there's sentimental value in passing down recipes and there's something so powerful about relating a dish to a person, like "hey have you tried x's recipe?" and it brings your whole body comfort? I just love it. It really opened my mind to how intimate things like hand feeding someone is. Softly caressing someone's tummy after they've eaten the most delicious thing. Feeling sleepy and cuddling together after eating. Being spoiled with lots of lovely treats. Going for dinner and encouraging someone to enjoy themselves, eat what they want and more! The body positivity mixed with kink is just so lovely. A nice example: Feedee being treated like a "beloved treasure" and how proud they are of them [link]

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If anyone has any special blogs they'd like to tag that are general soft kink or specific kinks - reblog and tag them.

Reassurance, praise, encouragement and intimacy written through kink can be so incredible and safe for people. And you can explore feelings that are much easier to explore when writing/reading this stuff. I really do think it can be so powerful for inner love and self care - in my own opinion >.<

🌈⭐🌈⭐🌈⭐