#if there’s one good thing about last eeekend’s meltdown
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#negativity cw#mother mention cw#if there’s one good thing about last eeekend’s meltdown#now I know that even after almost a year of therapy which supposedly ‘saved’ her marriage to my dad#my mom still feels no compunctions about last year’s Dec 20 and 21 screamfests#where she told me she would be gifting my dad a divorce for Xmas and it would be my fault#for trying to [redacted] herself in front of me while I whisper screamed for her not to#for blaming me every year since age 13 for their marriage being in the rocks#after a year of therapy and imploring me to seek therapy myself#she still doesn’t regret any of it#I vowed to myself after last year’s Christmas meltdown that I would never get them any kind of anniversary gift again#not after a decade of being blamed as a child for their issues#and now I feel no remorse about that decision#no flowers no chocolates no cards no special surprises#I’m the eldest child and earning close to six figures and not a penny of it will go to celebrating their Union#and i don’t care how bad it makes me look#she can get a one-line ‘congrats’ in the family WhatsApp group chat and that’s it#you don’t get to scream at me every 18 months ever since I was 14#that I am the one strain on your otherwise faultless marriage#that it’s my fault my siblings will grow up in a broken home#that it’s my fault we’ll have to sell the family home of 30 years to pay for the divorce#and never apologize at all even years down the line when I’m an adult and you’ve had your ‘character development’#and expect me to celebrate your Union#it’s very very petty and idk if she’ll notice bc I’ve never really made anniversary gifts for them before#but that’s my revenge
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