#if their love isnt real then i dont know what is
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sorry i cant understand that well and i absoLUTELY agree about the stadium i would rather call it the big tin can like everyone else 😭
in terms of what i said about the sun i was talking about general controversy and how theyre affiliated with liverpool-not saying it proves anything, sorry my english isnt that good when i read things💔
i can’t tell if you were talking about me doing the cherry picking because if it seemed like that i am so sorry😭since you are scouse if it seemed im being biased i am also very sorry
going back on what i said i know it is impossible to compare (if that is what conflate means😥) to compare their political issues-real madrid is like pretty much one of the most controversial clubs aside from barca, or something like mk dons(i had to think about clubs that had strong ties with their fanbase, mk dons came to mind😭💀)
i also massively agree with the working class ethic liverpool has and how it contributes to the club, trent’s statements dont mean shit now clearly, although i hate madrid being called a glory club-as i said, players often come for more success. telling someone you wouldn’t rather be anywhere else than liverpool, your boyhood club then basically admitting to transfer rumors to another massive club and openly provoking them is, like you said, very misleading
coming from the part of me that loves madrid, going back to politics, i promise you hardly any of us support the past things the club has done, i dont like having our stadium being named after a subhuman fascist either. i promise we are not all like that, especially not now, since football is getting much more social and inclusive. again, if trent comes to madrid, hopefully he still openly exudes the love for his former club, like cr7, beckham, henry, zizou etc do/did.❤️
trents also my favorite player!! hes the reason i play right back, hes wonderful, i would be ecstatic too if he came to our club, but the other half of me supports the argument of this entire post. hopefully he realizes he hasnt quite made sense of his love for liverpool when making so much fuss about a transfer
really don’t think a lot of people understand why lfc fans are so devastated by the thought of trent leaving
it’s not just because he’s an academy product, and him leaving on a free for more money and glory would mean that all the shit he’s spent his whole career spouting about how much he loves the club & the fans & the city and how much he values the endless support he’s always gotten from the fans will have all been bullshit.
it’s also that, if he goes to Madrid, it’ll show that he genuinely never gave a shit about the club’s values, or at least thinks so little of the club and its fans that he’s willing to undermine its morals as a club for the people, by the people, about the people, a club that has been a source of pride for a long-oppressed and long-exploited city & community in order to move to a club literally built on oppression and totalitarianism and facism, and which has been a tool of propaganda for the elite for decades.
if he throws his legacy away by leaving on a free, thus fucking the club itself over as well, for more money and more glory and more trophies, that’s his decision to make, but he can say goodbye to any lfc fan with a basic grasp on the values of the club honoring him as a legend in the slightest, and he can say goodbye to any goodwill the city has for him.
it’s really hard to say all this, because trent’s been my favorite player for years, but i just don’t understand how anyone could still see him in the same light if he goes running the second Madrid calls him.
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i think when cherik fuck charles just has to control himself so much that he reaches the point where he gets almost no pleasure because of the efforts and erik just doesn't see that for a long time bc charles is very good at simulating whatever it is so they fuck and erik is happy and cherles is close to tears every time because yeah he had sex but he spent all time of it struggling to remain control of his abilities and he didn't have orgasm and he just doesn't know what to do because he's afraid to tell erik and he's afraid to stop doing that because he thinks he'd project his thoughts and feeling all over the mansion and he's afraid to go on the way he does because it's exhausting and kinda awful
sorry im in the mood for angsty thoughts about charles's telepathy sorry
you jsut gon say this in fronta my salad. ..,
#nsft#snap chats#BUT REAL i love angst with charles and his telepathy so much you dont even know so i am in fact eating this. WITh my salad#speedrun category for how fast this went from funny to sad and im living for it if im so tbh#how fast you think erik catches on. cause im betting my kidney he will catch on at some point details about charles does not evade him#this why they oughta shack up away from the mansion. this why erik gotta kidnap him to Whatever resort they can go to#'resort' and its just one of his '''''evil''''' lairs away from everyone else vjlekjal#modern problems demand modern solutions ... still /having/ to isolate isnt fun#maybe if its a planned event Like A Vacation or somethin but what bout- if i may quote asia- The Heat Of The Moment#what then. what if there Is no isolating option. TRAGIC chat my head hurts#brain just wants them to bone without problems .... the problems make it more interesting tho im afraid brain you gotta deal#i repeat we gotta invest in the anti-telepath room....
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hey when they wrote "knight behind bars" and they wrote kitt helping a couple get together and they gave him the line "Some day, it will be my turn" [to find love]. did they know what they were doing. did they know that in some 40 years some gay autistic robot-obsessed little freak on tumblr would not stop thinking about it for weeks and write literal dozens of paragraphs screaming about it on discord. did they know they were going to ruin Me, Specifically, with this concept that feels like the culmination of everything kitt has gone through through the show and such a fascinating thing to think about in regards to michael and kitt's relationship,
one of the themes of knight rider is kitt developing as a Person, developing a line between the Knight Industries Two-Thousand, and Kitt. discovering humanity, his own emotions, the joys of the seemingly and logically pointless, and often through the lens of his own driver, his partner, his friend, Michael - his primary guide through all these experiences, his reference for those human things he doesn't understand. and as much as he initially claims to not be capable of experiencing emotions, of understanding feelings, he learns to. he experiences a wide range of emotions through the show even while claiming he doesn't, he even learns fear and insecurity. perhaps it's only natural a robot would learn to love, or at the very least be terribly curious about it and wonder if such a thing could ever exist for Him
the majority of people are not exactly kind to kitt. they talk about him like he's not there, they talk about him like he's a machine, a novelty, some people are even scared of or disturbed by him when all he's trying to do is make polite conversation and company. he's always Othered - there's no other cars like him (at least not anymore), but there's no other person like him either, he doesn't truly belong among humans or vehicles. some of the technicians at FLAG don't even seem to fully respect him as a person, at least they don't based on my vague recollection of how they talk about him in Junkyard Dog. when Michael asks him after KARR is destroyed if it feels good to be one of a kind again, he doesn't say yes or no - he only says it's a "familiar feeling." it may be familiar, but it's surely also isolating, and i think that's something he'd realize as he slowly picks up this curiosity about love. where could he even find it when so few people see him as an equal person to begin with?
and then there's michael. oh my god, and then there's michael. no matter what flavor you choose to read it in, the whole show is about their relationship, they're a duo, a set Not to be separated, they're Partners. they work together, they worry about and look after each other (forever insane about when kitt was a melted shell, Michael stuck around the garage for hours, waiting for any news like a worried spouse, constantly checking on him every opportunity he got... encouraging him to recover, and even helping paint back on his protective coating... kitt always looks after michael, but for once, it's michael's turn to look after Him), in a way they were Made for each other - Kitt more literally, being programmed for Michael and holding his namesake, but Michael was also made in a sense for the pilot program, hand picked and given a second life to work for the foundation and with this strange supercar. and even if they had a rocky start, michael comes to view kitt as a person - car, TV set, or computer core, Kitt is his partner, his buddy. he helps him find himself, guides him and teaches him about these things that make us human, and in a way, kitt becomes human - but his entire experience is still through the perspective of an AI in a car, it's still very unique and isolating, and I think he sort of grows into his own limitations, he's finally brushing against the walls that define him.
he learns of love, and then he learns to dream Of love. these things he sees in the movies, that michael tells him about, that he so often sees michael Partaking in that he gets so oddly jealous of, doesn't it all seem so wonderful? he's very curious. but who could ever love steel and circuitry, who could ever see him as an equal let alone a partner in a romantic sense? who would ever love a car and all the limitations That comes with? it's a problem for a hypothetical hopeful Some Day, in the meantime stuck between two worlds where he doesn't perfectly belong to either, where no car Can love him and no human seemingly Would love him...
and michael loves him anyway. before either of them really realize or talk about it, in spite of everything, in any form, regardless of the fact it wouldn't be a typical relationship by absolutely any means, michael loves him anyway. kitt is as much a person to him as bonnie or devon or RC, and that person is someone he loves and cares for deeply. the feeling is mutual, kitt's world revolves around michael, he's one of the most important people in kitt's life, and he'd do anything to protect him.
and it is michael that will finally teach him to love, and what it means to feel loved in turn, to be loved as the person he undoubtedly is.
#liz blogs#kr#knight rider#michael knight#kitt#robots#gay#this isnt writing. its rambling. its very insane rambling.#WHAT is the ship tag. i dont even know. fuck it we ball#michael x kitt#sure#knight rider spoilers#i saw someone make up a really good one but i cant remember what it was-- oh my god was it MK2000. was it. was that iT-#mk2000#retroactively gonna go tag all the fruity posts with that i dont care#do not even get me started on michael learning to love for the first time in This lifetime. ... literally dont get me started i havent seen#the last stevie episode yet. thats next weeks crying fit. but i feel like that's a piece i need#but stevie was michael Long's girl. part of His life. michael Knight can't go back to that. and maybe he Shouldn't#listen. its about michael teaching kitt to love. and kitt Letting him learn to love Again. something real besides his weekend flings#i need a lobotomyyyyyyy i need an ice pick to the brain i need to stop being completely fucking insane about robots#IF BEING INSANE ABOUT FICTIONAL ROBOTS WAS A JOB I WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRE#anyway michael is bisexual and a dashboard smoocher thanks for coming to my ted talk#homosexuality is rampant in the military jerry. thats a bisexual if ever i saw one. have you seen the way he dresses. he calls his car baby#if you dont watch knight rider and you read this i'm sorry i must look deranged#this ship is queer flavored even besides the fact its two guys. there's like four levels of queer flavoring in this bitch
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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We cut from Cas and Jody to the exterior of Jody's house. A phone vibrates
The phone continues as we move through the kitchen, a case of beer on the counter by the window
Looks like the noise from Castiel's phone woke up someone.
Why, its Alex Jones! (as a pony) She must have had a late shift last night.
She answers the phone, it is Sam calling, he relays a message to her to pass to Cas, 'Let Cas know we made it to Garth's place.' That's the main thing to note from this conversation we see one side of.
Alex says a few words, some less polite which is to be expected at this early hour, so Sam thanks her and mentions passing along a 'Hello' to the others (Claire, Jody, Jack) for him. Sam hangs up the phone and turns the engine of the car off. He turns around-
-and tells Dean to get up. Looks like Dean had a rough night and wanted to get a bit more sleep before trudging through research with Garth today.
Weary, but glad to have made it to Garth's in relatively good time, Sam unloads his saddle pack with his road gear and clothes, and some books from the library that may be helpful for identifying the monster Garth has been tracking. Dean is not awake enough for this. However, Garth and Bess certainly are as they greet the brothers eagerly.
The werewolf ponies have more dog like tails and fangs, and bright welcoming smiles. A stark contrast to the burly hunters that just arrived. Three curious faces are in the window, it is Gertie, Sam, and Castiel, Bess and Garth's kids. It had been some time since the Winchesters last saw them, but they seem well.
Inside the main entrance, Bess escorts Sam and Dean to Garth's hunting office where the three will run over the case and what they know for certain. Sam and Dean believe it may be a non-native monster, something that hitched a ride and is becoming a problem to local wildlife and people. They are planning on staying a couple days before driving the twelve hours back to the bunker, so Bess and Garth set up the guest room for them to rest between scrambling over lore and the actual hunt.
Bess comments on the last time they saw each other, when the Winchesters were out of luck. The Chuck situation was messy, and in the supernatural in my head a lot of minor things got rewritten which changed the outcomes and some development to make things make sense but I'm not getting into that. All you need to know is that Chuck is not god anymore and they are alive. Dean has accepted his fate of being hugged by Garth (the strength of whom he will never get used to)
(part five btw)
#mlpnatural#spn#supernatural#mlp#sketch#supernatural with ponies#supernatural characters as ponies#sketch artist#dean winchester#sam winchester#alex jones#alex jones supernatural#pony sam winchester#pony dean winchester#garth fitzgerald iv#pony garth fitzgerald iv#bess supernatural#I forgot to post these for a while lmao I have more pages to finish and post bc its getting into the lore and I LOVE THE LORE RAAAHH#ponies#i cannot explain the spn in my head and what i changed or why#all i know is that some stuff happens a little differently and god chuck and prophet chuck are two different beings#and the leviathan didnt do the sam and dean murder spree with their faces#victor henriksen is alive and well#billie is not secretly plotting to use Jack Bomb to become god#whenever i want a character to be alive but isnt relevant they are in witness protection (australia)#i dont like changing much about canon but at the same time yes i do#amelia was not real#dean misremembers some hunts or events/it didnt happen like that: see dean feeling guilty about cas not escaping purgatory with him#so he makes it his fault#somethings were manipulated via ghostfacer effect for an audience/god chuck
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saga of "what if spader was Unnamed Baby". i dont think he is cuz he isnt the same color. but it would be, really funny. it would add such a fun LAYER to his reactions to dark magic AND TO PEP. “THOSE ARE ALL RUMORS. but he WAS a powerful dark wizard” <- guy whose siblings actually got cursed by that guy.
#spader even has blonde hair. in bufos beautiful mind.#ok stop talking. shakes myself.#adventure time#distant lands#spader#peace master's kids#blaine#peppermint#digital#thats everyone. back to talking.#he just has such Younger Brother energy forever. to me. i dont know what it is.#small and annoying. dresses all puffed up and talks like a little twerp. glob i love him. can someone throw water at me#i havent looked at a picture of dragon kid in months uh oh. i hope he hasnt deteriorated in my mind into a real monster#pretending any inaccuracies are bc by the time he hits this age hes just Changed. Aged.#this cant be real bc it would mean spader is raised by peace master and that would make him sooo weird. and hes not weird just insufferable#this isnt how i actually think his life is. i just think its funny.#you know what.#au#there.
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guys i caught a mouse at work today
#i was walking the tech guy back because one of our printers broke#and i opened the door like yeah its right back he- thats a mouse. thats a mouse sitting in the middle of the room#he was very small and i think very confused/freaked out because he just let me. scoop him up. into my gentle loving arms#like he tried to run a little but he didn’t seem to really know where to go#so i was just on the floor like trying to get ahold of this very tiny very pathetic mouse without hurting it#while saying hey um. dont mind me printers right there with a mouse half in my hands#printer guy brought me over a little basket he found and i scooped mousie into the basket#and then i had a mouse in a basket. so i went back into the lobby and went Guys i have a Mouse in a Basket#and then my supervisor escorted me outside and we found a nice little tree with some shade and little plants to dump him at#except hed been scrambling up the basket the whole time and i think hes just accepted his fate to live there forever by then#because he would Not get out of the basket. i had to very very gently scooch him out#and yeah. maybe i pet the mouse. what do you want from me. he was very small and cute and very soft and rabbies isnt real and cant hurt me#he was so fucking cute. oh my god he was so cute. i hope he does well for himself#coworker was like ‘youre just gonna put him outside to be somethings lunch?’#and i said well. better he be lunch for someone than die in a gluetrap in some dark corner of the office#slightly more dignified way to go. benefits something. but i will be praying for a long and happy life for him regardless#every single time ive seen a mouse in my life ive immediately gone ‘oh im fucking Getting You’ <- lovingly and adoringly#so far im 2 for 5. 40% accuracy rate of Getting That Sucker#which i dont think is too bad considering mice are very small and quick and good at not being getted
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dont mind the username change btw we're just separating blogs into a personal talky blog and a more plural oriented (ploriented...) blog, we'll keep you updated [fingerguns]
#still gotta exchange all the links and shit hgkjg ooh this is going to be a real headache huh. well whatever. we adapt.#its so faucet can feel safer and let us talk here. keep public and private separate? we dont even know if this is going to help tbh hgjkg#but compared to faucet's ''delete all your accounts and wipe yourself off the internet'' plan its the better option of the two!!#ough this is complicated hgkjg maestro is not amused and faucet isnt sure what we should keep and what we should edit out#like. do we reveal ryan's a fact!ve on there? do we want it known that harlowe's a persecutor? does distance even want to be listed??#[like i've been saying‚ once we reveal something we cant take it back. especially if someone finds us. anything can be used against us.]#[and i know i might be paranoid but i can't... i want to keep us safe. so please just. consider the ramifications here.]#[...we're still nervous about being out on main. so don't expect that yet.] buuuut we're working on it hjgkjg :']#sigh. man. what are we doing. we're all in various states of uncertainty. what are we doing!! will this even help??#god we sure do love our internal arguments and pointless turmoil don't we gang. well. follow through i guess!!#it's alright. transitive states tend to be the messiest. we'll figure it out.
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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.
So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.
SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.
These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.
because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.
So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?
Yeah. Im out ✌🏼
#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies#but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum#i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing#guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls#antipsych#i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with#someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis#i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and#nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never#even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back#against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you#ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.
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Okay I just read Zayne's "Still in Dark" anecdote, and now I'm crying and also my jaW IS ON THE GROUND, WHAT IN THE FUC-
----
enjoy the tags, I just needed to vent....
And I'm scared 🤣
#hoooooly shit when i tell you i was confused about the timeline before ... ash.exe has officially stopped responding#semi spoiler alert/ me venting.... youve been warned#ARE WE NOT REAL IN HIS DIMENSION? Are we just pulling a freaking spongebob and showing up in his dreams?#im scared somebody hold me. im freaking crying cuz that was so sad but also SERIOUSLY WTFFFF IS GOING ON#love and deepspace#okay im done screaming im sorry#but seriously.... there is so much happening i dont know whats real and what isnt.#i wanted to think Tower of Secrets was just AU but now with the whole growing jasmine parallel and Linkon City being years in the past....?#ffs i need some theories cuz im just sending myself down a rabbit hole trying to decide what's going on#like what? am i just popping up in zaynes dreams to save him from loneliness while he helps me save the universe from getting access to my#and pops up in Raf's life to rescue him after losing everything while he also magically helps me save the universe from the aether's power#and Xai/Lumiere who's what... like 300+ years old somehow knows who i am?#WHO AM I? some dimension-jumping dream-hopping timeline-skipping superhuman with the core strength of 10000 suns and i don't even remember?#i need to read the rest of Xai's lore....#anyways welcome to the end of the tags. i hope you had fun. if you made it this far.... i am so sorry 🤣
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one of my preschoolers brought this to school today???? i asked her where she got it ??? and she didn't really know???? she said smth about it being for christmas and that she loved it ??!!
#kay natters#communism#i was in the middle of changing toddler diapers and shes in the hallway taking it out of her bag and showing it to me and#i couldnt keep myself from laughing holy shit#i seriously dont know how she got it. surely from her home or smth#currently closing and i had to take a photo just to see it again#i cant believe it#like obv she doesnt know what any of it means because shes THREE#so i dont know what she means when she says she loves it????#she was holding it and a mothers day card she brought from home#my biggest fear is that people will think this isnt real but like. i am in portland#so i wouldnt be surprised for the literal communist manifesto to be in her house#and maybe the parents thought it was funny that she liked to 'read' it or smth and let her bring it to school???#ill ask the parents about it tomorrow and make an update if i remember
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i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that’s pretty impressive
ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is
#snap chats#i dont even check twitter specifically for rgg its just that my algorithms been formed that way cause friends send me tweets#on the real though jvALEKJEKL ive always. how you say. played with dolls alone#so being alone online isnt hard or anything particularly 'impressive' to me its just how i roll#ive always lived in my head i guess- with my interests that is. its fun up there vlkeajkla#i still like to hear from other people of course but for the most part im happy with just myself im not all that pressed for others#i think its also just. i have. other interests? so i dont really think i want to look at One Particular Thing that day. at least for tumblr#i MIGHT just cause thats how the day goes but i dont think 'i feel like looking at rgg art today'#whatever i see I See and that'll be that yk i love a lot of things and think of a lot of things#evidently SOME things take a hold of me more than others- or ill wanna be more public bout it at least#but thats jsut cause i just feel SO MUCH for Whatever Thing It Is At The Time that i want to share it. so then i do jvlskjs#with that in mind can i really say im 'in' a fandom when i dont particularly interact with it LMAO#again always happy to do so but im like an estranged uncle if anything#come over once a year to drop gifts off then i leave. ill still respond to holiday cards though if theyre sent#also for discussions ill usually just talk to my brother about it since he'll usually be The Main Sponge for my rambling LOLOL#god's strongest soldier i promise i try to hold back but im afraid i feel my brain physically tickle my skull#my brother always has to watch in real time me be consumed by a piece of media. like its a symbiote its really funny#cause at this point we'll meet in the kitchen and ill start like 'you know whats really funny..'#and he'll just. 'ok so who's it about today' LIKE PLEAAAASSSEEE. anyways prepare for my ninth 90 minute lecture about This Character#i also have a friend that i talk about my interests with- not all the time but enough that im like. Yeah Im Good Talkin Bout This#like the dopamine in my brain is activated JUST enough when i get to have quick short convos bout it with her#honestly maybe i should use my blacklisted main and rb ALL of my sideblog posts there#just so the people following that can Also witness me be consumed in real time <- will not do this
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why do all girls around me have girl friends?????????????? why dont i get to have that??????????
#well whatever i just want#i dont want anything#i just want#no idk#well whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#in my head im loved and wanted and cherished by my kidnapper bf <33333333333333333#i dont like the pain and violence but im just happy he wants me#he isnt real but idk#being this lonely is so#idk#i just dont know anymore i try so hard to be ok#and pretend im ok#but im not#i hate watching shows and they all have friends#i hate reading books and they all have friends#i hate going outside and they all have friends#i hate seeing my old friends and my cousins bc they all have friends#who am i? no one#what am i? nothing#whatever!!!!!!#fuck i wish i didnt have these loser disorders and health anxiety#bc i wanna get fucked up but im to boohoo scared to do drugs or drink alcohol#i literally cannot have any escape#death is the only thing i long for#i just dont wanna be alone but i honestly#i dont even dare to get close to anyone#bc why why why would they ever wanna stay with me#i dont even want to get kidnapped bc he'd get sick of me after a week tops#i just dont wanna feel lonely anymore#ive tried to pretend im ok for weeks now but god im so sick of this i dont
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this is exactly what i hate about myself
#i cant speak without feeling selfish#so many things i do afterwards especially tonight i feel cringe or shame at how i talk and sometimes it doesnt click instantly and i just#everybodys closer than me. everybody is irreplaceable. everybody is valued more. what do i have to offer. what can i do that proves im not#another character in their entire story#why am i so shallow? why cant i feel genuine emotions and when i do show them properly without the fear of vulnerability?#who is this person#why am i me? why do i exist? why cant i do anything right?#you say you love me but youll never love me because i dont know who i am and which side is real.#im stuck#but this isnt about me#vent#happy birthday#i love you a lot even if i cant process it correctly#i hope youre happy genuinely#and that kills me too
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my moms giving me anxietyyyy yayyyy
#she decided to give us the monthly dont talk to strangers online talk yesterday#(she does not know i am in a relationship on here thank god she would kill me if she knew)#but she really went into it talking about how there will be people thatll pretend to be someone and you get so connected to them#and then they just scam you and turn out to be nothing like what they described and youre just sat there realizing this person you loved#isnt even real and never existed#and now im paranoidddd haha#maple says some words
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I keep thinking about how on earth they would canonize ggy bc like. at this point if they have to sacrifice Gregory screentime of just him to make something we already know actually canon, I would rather just take the screentime, but on the other hand they have to canonize it if they want to do anything at all with that plotline, and that makes me wonder if theyll stick with it as canon in the games at all or just leave it as background knowledge if u read the book 😭
#like i love ggy just as much as the nezt person and go crazy at how canon it is but not yet#but also i like gregory a lot more and ggy isnt the only reason hes my favorite#gregory was my favorite for a whole year before ggy even came out#i want him as a person to be developed more than his ggy plot when we already know its real#but gregory himself desperately needs more time focused on his character to tell us more about him#maybe give some context to some of his decisions#best case scenario honestly is Gregory has a protagonist plotline where it showcases his character and relationships with others#as the game progresses naturally with dialogue and stuff (freddy and vanessa being his guides or something)#with the focus being saving cassie#but as the game reaches its climax gregory realises for some reason or another that apparently he was ggy and did all those things#and was the mimics fave#but its established he had amneisa before security breach so he didnt remember and still doesnt#he just knows he did it and has to deal#so it doesnt completely take over everything else about his character#and then whatever happens at the end of that game has cassie saved and joining 3 star#who GOT DEVELOPMENT in this hypothetical#like idk i want ggy to be canon but i dont want it to overtake gregory#yknow what i mean#it should be background to him not the other way around#vanessa and cassie already have that big main possession plotline#pandas.txt#tbh if they replace gregorys backstory with something equally interesting I'll be ok with no game ggy#we already have a whole book to mess around with i wouldn't mind it being a little au even tho i know it isnt#its VERY canon and ill 100% be alright and happy w game ggy#but im nervous for how they would establish it in a game if at all#with how much gregory needs screentime just as a character and if he'd need to wait even longer after a ggy reveal#thoughts#gregory
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