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bobohu4eva · 4 years ago

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Pink Lace - Chapter 4

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: College AU, stripper AU, fluff, smut, slow burn

Summary: Baekhyun, a philosophy professor with mysterious wealth, got himself completely fucked over a girl who can’t let him into her life.

Word count: 4k

Warnings: sex work, mentions of sexual assault, adult themes/situations, eventual smut

Tag list: @smolbeanmika @leave-me-in-the-summertime @totallynerdstuff @bbhmystar @nana-banana @kimyhappy @thegreatandi @geniusloey @deligxt @baekswifey @bbhyun506 @lovebuginlove @bellamendoza @baekyeonoreo

Masterlist

When you woke up your head was pounding. Reluctantly, you dragged yourself out of bed anyway.

“Hey Mia” you spoke as you knocked on her door “I need a favor.”

She opened the door just enough for you to see her tired form, bedhead and all looking back at you.

“It’s 9am on a Sunday what the hell y/n.” She opened the door the rest of the way and rubbed her eyes. “What is it?”

You felt bad waking her up, but you needed to tell her what had happened. And you needed your car back, which was still parked at the club.

“I’ll explain more on the way, but Baekhyun drove me home from work last night and I need you to take me to my car.”

You saw your roommates eyes widen “He drove you home? Are you insane?”

“Just let me explain everything, I promise it’s not as crazy as it sounds.”

“Okay, let me get dressed though.” She looked at you skeptically, closing the door and meeting you in the living room soon after to get going.

“So he drove you home.” She stated simply, keeping her eyes on the road as she made her way through the streets towards your work.

“I know it sounds bad but he saved my ass last night. I was so nervous about him possibly showing up that I let some assholes get me blackout drunk. When he showed up he took me into a room to sleep it off and drove me home.”

“You got wasted at work? You know how dangerous that is.” She reprimanded you.

“I know, I know. And I usually don’t, but these guys seemed nice and I was so nervous that I just kept taking the shots they bought me. The assholes had me in a VIP room for a while too, from what Baekhyun told me. I can’t remember any of it though, thank god. All I remember is laughing and having a good time and then waking up with my head on his lap.”

“Baekhyun’s lap? How do you know he didn’t just make it all up to seem like some sort of hero?”

“Yeah.. He usually always gets there early, like 7 or 8, and when I woke up it was past midnight. He told me I was asleep for a few hours.”

“So he just sat and watched you sleep that whole time... that’s not weird at all.”

“I told you it’s not like that! If it wasn’t for him I would’ve been all on my own last night. I don’t even wanna think about all the fucked up shit that could’ve happened to me in there if he hadn’t taken me somewhere safe to sleep it off.”

Mia stayed quiet. She knew you were right, Baekhyun had actually helped you.

“I can’t explain it but it’s different with him, he’s not like the other guys there at all.”

“Y/n, do you like him?”

Her question caught you off guard. You didn’t know what to say. Did you like Baekhyun?

“What do you mean?”

“I mean do you like him as more than just a customer.”

“Well...” There was a pause, and you knew she could tell what was going on in your head.

As you were trying to form your thoughts, Mia was already pulling into the parking lot of your work. She parked next to you, but before unlocking the doors she looked over at you.

“You know you can tell me anything. I’m not gonna judge you if you have a crush on your professor, even if I think it’s a really bad idea. You’re my best friend.”

“I don’t know what I feel. He’s always so sweet to me that it’s hard not to like him, even though I know I shouldn’t. I know I’m pushing these feelings down but they’re getting harder and harder to ignore.”

She gave you a sympathetic look and you heard her car doors unlock. “Let’s get home, it’s too early to be thinking about this now anyway.”

You got out and entered your own car, starting it and making your way back towards your shared home. When you got back you started making breakfast for the both of you, as both a thank you and I’m sorry for waking her up so early on a weekend.

The two of you were in the middle of destroying some cinnamon rolls when she caught you off guard again. “Do you have a picture of Baekhyun? This whole time I’ve been imagining him as a smelly neckbeard. He’s cuter than that, right?” She asked you, and you couldn’t help but crack up.

“Yes” you laughed “he’s cute, really cute actually. Definitely the most attractive professor I’ve had in a while. Let me see if I can find something.”

“Ooooo yes I wanna see.”

You logged into your universities website and started searching around, seeing if there were any photos of him there. To your dismay you couldn’t find anything on there, so your next guess was facebook. You typed in his full name, and what popped up was not what you had been expecting.

There were several posts, all fairly old, and all pictures of him with his arm around a beautiful girl. His ex.

Mia saw the change in your face and immediately snatched your phone out of your hand to see for herself.

“What the fuck y/n...” She said as she stared at the phone, eyes wide. “THIS is him? This man right here.” She turned the phone around, pointing at him.

“...Yeah. And I think that’s his ex in the picture too.”

“Fuck the ex y/n this man is fucking beautiful... no wonder you like him. I would too. I’m sure half the girls in your class would love to hop on that.”

You took your phone back, looking intently at the image on the screen.

“She’s pretty.”

“Who? His ex? Of course she is, look at him!” You just kept staring at the picture of the two of them together, feeling how it made your stomach twist up in discomfort. “Damn you do like him if you’re that stressed over one picture with his ex.”

You knew she was just teasing, but she was still right.

“Shut up, I just haven’t seen her before. I knew about her but seeing a picture of them together feels different.”

“Y/n you have the fattest crush on this guy come on just admit it.”

“It’s not a crush! I just think he’s an interesting person, and he’s attractive, and he likes me, soo..”

“So what? Are you gonna try to fuck your professor?”

“MIA” You shouted, and grabbed a pillow to hit her with.

“Come on if I had a professor that hot I would too! And you already know he’s into you too.” She said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, prompting you to roll your eyes.

“He’s my professor, that’s the problem.” You sighed. “And my customer. Starting anything with him is a bad idea.”

“It’s definitely a bad idea, but it could be really fun.”

“An hour ago you thought I was crazy for letting him drive me home and now you’re telling me I should sleep with my professor just cause he’s hot?!”

“Well I didn’t know what he looked like then! You should’ve at least told me he was cute.”

“You’re so shallow!”

“I’m not shallow! Y/n you need some spice in your life, maybe he could be good for you. And he’s rich.” Her eyes suddenly went wide, before asking you, “What car does he drive?”

“An Audi... we still don’t know if he is though! He’s still just a professor, remember?”

“You should try to find out how he has all this money, what if he’s secretly a mafia boss or something.”

You only rolled your eyes. Sweet, shy little Baekhyun, a mafia boss? It was laughable. He was way too nice.

“If he is rich, I don’t know how. Maybe he’s just a trust fund baby or something.”

“Yeah maybe, but you’re gonna find out! Did he pay you last night?”

That thought hadn’t even crossed your mind, you assumed your money bag was empty when you got home since you hadn’t given any dances but you hadn’t looked inside of it either. “I don’t know... let me check.”

You got up and went to your room, returning with the bag. You sat back down in the living room with Mia and dramatically unzipped it, before holding it upside down and shaking it. Both you and Mia gasped at what fell out. Hundred after hundred fell until your living room couch was decorated with hundred dollar notes.

“What the fuck...” You heard Mia whisper, obviously just as shocked as you.

You gathered the money and counted the bills. Over two thousand dollars had been in that bag. You looked at your friend in disbelief. “He must’ve paid me for every hour I was asleep...”

“Holy shit”

“I have to give it back, this is too much.” You started shoving the money back into the bag, but Mia grabbed your wrist, stopping you.

“Are you crazy? He gave you the money for a reason! You’re basically set for the rest of the semester now.” She was looking you in the eyes intently now, not letting you ignore her.

“No, you don’t understand. I didn’t even give him a dance or anything I was literally just asleep and then cried a lot, he shouldn’t have paid me at all.” You said, shaking your head in disbelief.

“It’s your money and I can’t tell you what to do with it but I’d keep it if I were you. You’ll probably just hurt his feelings trying to give it back.”

“I don’t care. I’m giving it back. Especially if he is just a professor I don’t want him spending any more money on me.”

“It’s up to you...” She looked skeptical. You knew she wanted you to keep the money so she could reap some of the benefits as well, although she would’ve never admitted to it. Deep down you just couldn’t help but worry that Baekhyun couldn’t afford to give you that much. You had to at least try to give it back.

The rest of Sunday went by in a blur of netflix movies and youtube videos. Sundays were your lazy days, a sacred tradition you were dedicated to keep. You knew however that when Monday rolled around, you were going to have to try to give Baekhyun his money back. You weren’t sure what that would look like, but for now the plan was to just corner him after class and tell him he needed it more than you did. Hopefully, he would accept it and that would be the end of it.

Class on Monday was even more confusing than the previous days. You felt like you understood less with each passing class period, not more. The concepts he talked about only got more and more abstract, to the point where you had little clue what was going on at all.

You were anxious about class ending as well, since you were going to have to face him to try to return his money.

Eventually the lecture ended, and today you had to wait for several other students to talk to him first before he could get to you. They all had questions about their essays, the essay you had yet to even start.

You knew Baekhyun saw you waiting and purposefully made you go last, although this time you were grateful.

“Do you need help with you essay too?” He asked once he was done talking to the last student. You shook your head.

You glanced towards the door, making sure the last student was out of the room before before pulling out the stack of cash that had been in your bag Sunday morning. “I can’t accept this.” You said, placing it on his desk.

Baekhyun looked surprised, however he still wasn’t going to make this easy for you.

“Why not?” He asked simply, looking genuinely confused.

“I have plenty of money already, from you. I didn’t even give you a dance or anything and I know you don’t make THAT much as a professor and I just-”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me y/n. Just keep it. I promise I’ll be just fine without it.”

“No. You need it more than I do, I already have enough to keep me going for a while and this was too much, I didn’t even do anything to deserve it.”

“Y/n. Please. Just take it.” The look on his face was tired. You could tell he was telling the truth, he wanted you to have it, but that didn’t stop you from feeling guilty, and you weren’t taking no for an answer.

“You’re a college professor, not some hotshot CEO, I know you don’t have this kind of money Baekhyun. I’m not keeping it.” You said, crossing your arms.

Baekhyun just sighed, scratching the back of his head. He looked annoyed, but also somehow.. sad?

“I told you there’s a lot you don’t know about me. And I’m not taking it back.” He said staring down at the wad of cash. Obviously he wasn’t taking no for an answer either.

“Baekhyun pleaaase” You looked at him again, giving him your best puppy eyes but he wasn’t having it. His face remained stoic, the only visible emotion was a twinge of what looked like sadness.

“Y/n...” He sighed again. “I’m going to my office now. You can come with me, or you can take your money and go home.” He said sternly.

You pouted, but picked the money back up, shoved it back in your pocket, and followed him anyway. Eventually he unlocked the door to what you assumed to be his office and he held the door for you to walk in. He sat down at his desk, and you sat across from him on the other side. As you looked around, you couldn’t help but smile at how Baekhyun the office was. The space was very cozy, filled with little trinkets and lots of books, all of which you were sure would make absolutely no sense to you. Everything felt so much like him. He had pictures of him and his friends sprinkled throughout as well, and the room even smelled like his comforting scent.

You took the wad of cash back out of your pocket and placed it on his desk. He didn’t acknowledge it.

Once both of you were sitting down, an awkward silence filled the air. Baekhyun was sitting right across from you, but instead of the usual intense eye contact you’d grown accustomed to, he was staring solemnly down at his desk.

He was the first one to break the silence.

“My parents died in a freak accident last December.” He said it without looking up at you, eyes still fixated on his desk. “A semi hit them going 20 over. They both died on impact.”

Your stomach lurched. “Baekhyun wh-”

“Between the two of them they had quite a bit of money. I inherited it. I could quit this job if I wanted to. I have more than I even know what to do with, so just keep the money, please.”

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know...” Your voice was barely loud enough for Baekhyun to hear. Finally he looked up and you met his eyes.

“There’s no way you could’ve. I understand why you probably thought what you did but I definitely don’t need it, so keep it.”

“But-”

“If anything” he interrupted “I feel bad I couldn’t give you more. We were up there longer than what I paid you for but that’s all the cash I had on me and I didn’t wanna have to leave you alone to go to the ATM.”

“Baekhyun, I...”

“You can go now, sorry if that was uncomfortable but I wanted to tell you before you insisted on giving the money back.” He said, scooting the cash back towards your end of the desk. His expression was once again blank, making it impossible for you to try to figure out what was going on in his head.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry about your parents.”

Although he had told you you could leave, you found yourself planted in the chair and against your better judgement, you stayed. Maybe it was the cozy feel of the room, or the comforting smell of old books and vanilla, but you didn’t want to leave yet.

“Were you really close with them?”

He smiled at your question, and because you were still sitting in front of him, even though you didn’t have to be.

“Yeah, they were amazing parents. They always supported the things I was passionate about. Lots of parents would get mad at their kid for studying something as useless as philosophy but they always had my back.” He sighed solemnly, the sadness making it’s way onto his face. “You never really learn to appreciate things until they’re taken from you. I should’ve visited them more often, told them I loved them more. Everything I have now is because of them.”

“I’m sure they were really proud of you.”

“Yeah, luckily I was able to make the best out of my degree. Most people who study philosophy aren’t as lucky and end up doing something totally unrelated. I at least get to teach people about something I’m passionate about.”

“Is that why you keep working here even if you don’t need the money?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “ And I know my parents wouldn’t want me to quit just because of the money. It would also get awfully boring to just sit around at home all day and not work anyway. I like having somewhere to go and feel productive.” He paused for a second, eyes meeting yours again. “And if I wasn’t here I wouldn’t get to see you.” His face turned up into a smile with his last sentence.

At first his words made you think he was just trying to find an excuse to hit on you, but his face told a different story. His smile was so gentle and welcoming, it didn’t feel like any kind of sexual advance, just his raw emotions. Emotions that he was willing to show you without any filter. Baekhyun had always been so open with his feelings with you, it made you feel even worse for how hesitant you were about your own.

You couldn’t help the pink tint growing on your cheeks at his statement.

“You’re blushing.” He said, now grinning.

“Shut up.” You tried to hide your face, but with him sitting directly across from you, staring intently there was nothing you could hide.

“You’re lucky I like you enough to let you talk to me like that, any other student would be in trouble.”

“So you admit I get special treatment?” You asked, leaning back in the chair and crossing your arms, one eyebrow raised at him.

Before answering, Baekhyun leaned towards you, resting an elbow on the desk, halving the distance between the two of you. “Sweetheart, I’ve never even spoken to a student outside of campus. Special treatment is an understatement.”

Your face turned an even deeper shade of red at his use of the pet name, which didn’t go unnoticed by him.

“Y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” He asked you as casually as one would ask about the weather. Your eyes widened, not at all expecting him to ask such a thing.

For a moment you just stared at him in disbelief, hoping he’d say something else but his expression remained the same. Eventually you shook your head, but before he could ask you anything more you had your own question for him.

“What happened with your ex?”

Immediately his face fell into a deep frown. You’d caught him off guard again, and this time he didn’t quite know what to say.

“Well...” He said, still pausing to think. “After I got the inheritance from my parents things just changed. All we did was fight about money. She didn’t even seem to care that my parents were dead. She just wanted access to the money. Eventually she realized I wasn’t going to give it to her and she left me.”

“I’m so sorry, that’s awful.”

“But that’s how I got to meet you.” He smiled, taking one of your hands in his. “I’m glad she left me when she did, and Chanyeol talked me into going to the club that night.”

“Baekhyun...” You felt yourself getting scared again. The things he was telling you and the way he held your hand was beginning to feel too intimate, to a point where you were becoming anxious. You felt an unfamiliar sensation blooming in the pit of your stomach.

“I remember when he pitched the idea to me, I called him a dumbass.” He laughed. “I really didn’t wanna go but he dragged me in there.”

“Well I’m glad he did too.” You responded shyly, before you could think twice about your own words.

Now it was Baekhyun's turn to blush. He was already shocked enough that you were willingly staying in his office, hearing you say something that flirty to him sent his mind into chaos.

“Y/n...” He grabbed both of your hands now, looking into your eyes with that familiar intensity. “Do you.. like me? Not as a customer or a professor, but as a man?”

He had been wanting to ask you since Saturday night, but couldn’t find the courage. He knew how terrible of an idea it was to be having this conversation with one of his students, but when it came to you all rational thought seemed to fly out the window. He had stayed up all night torturing himself with the thought. He needed to know.

But you could only stare back wordlessly. Not because you didn’t want to tell him no, but because you couldn’t deny to yourself that you did like him. You just couldn’t get the words out. It was one thing to feel something deep inside your heart. It was another to be able to say it out loud.

Baekhyun quickly noticed your discomfort and withdrew his hands. “You don’t have to answer that, sorry. But you know how I feel about you. I just need to know. Whatever your answer is, whenever you’re ready to tell me, I’ll accept it. If you want me to leave you be, just tell me and we can act like we never knew each other before last Monday.”

But you didn’t want that, not at all. Your feelings for him had only grown and you couldn’t see yourself ever going back to only seeing him as your professor. It was too late for that now that you knew what his arms felt like wrapped around you.

“I know I don’t want that.” You said so quietly, it was almost inaudible. But Baekhyun still heard you.

His eyes widened in surprise, but his smile found its way back into his face as well. “I really hoped you wouldn’t choose that. But whatever you do decide, will be fine by me.”

“Okay.” You spoke, as you got up out of your chair. “I should go. Thank you for explaining everything.”

“Don’t forget this” he said, holding the wad of cash. You sighed, and took it from him, shoving it back in your pocket “and thank you for listening.”

Baekhyun waved you goodbye as you exited his office, shooting you another gorgeous smile that you couldn’t help but return. As you walked back home you felt that same unfamiliar feeling still blooming in your stomach. You tried to ignore it, but it was unmistakable. This is what people were talking about, the feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you talked to someone you liked. You’d felt it before with past flings and crushes, but never as much as now.

And the more you let yourself think about it, the clearer it became to you. You were becoming just as fucked for him as he was for you.

Next Chapter

#baekhyun #exo #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfic #exo fanfic #exo fluff #exo smut

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princessofprocrastination · 4 years ago

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I Messed Up Didn’t I? (Dream)

MASTERLIST

pairing : dreamwastaken x singer!reader (angst)

summary : after the breakup, he sees that you’re growing as a singer, while he’s suffering alone, but you don’t think that about him, seeing he’s growing on youtube.

a/n : you’re replacing gwen in the voice!

hey! this isn’t going to be the only part! stay tuned for more!

it ended after an argument. he was constantly on his computer, and would forget every important day. from your birthday, to your anniversaries, he forgot them all.

he even would disregard it, saying it wasn’t important anyway, that everyday could be a special day. that hurt you a lot. you two have been together for a long time and you didn’t want to lose it. you couldn’t afford to lose him, not like this.

sometimes it felt like he didn’t love you anymore, that he didn’t feel the same anymore. it hurt to see him on his phone, or on discord call with his friends.

you thought his friends were amazing and supportive, but his friends took away your limited time together, and hurt like a bitch.

at first, you were okay with his constant video games, knowing that’s his job now, and that he’s been supportive of you, and you should be supportive of him too.

at first, it had been tough, you brought in the money, paid for the bills, bought groceries since you were making money through music. you weren’t stingy, you are totally fine with spending money for him, but it felt wrong at the same time.

your mum always told you never settle for a guy, that he would do things for you if he wanted to. and that stuck to you, but you love dream, with everything in you. you couldn’t afford to leave him, to break this long time relationship.

you two had been there for each other since the roots. and to see it crumble like this hurt a lot.

he didn’t notice. he didn’t care enough to ask you how your day went anymore. he was too busy on his computer.

you made the effort. you asked him the usual questions, to which he’s reply with a ‘’m fine’ or simply not answer. you brought him food whenever you notice he’s been skipping meals to sit on his desk.

you got him a new monitor, gaming chair, a new desk. everything he could’ve ever wanted. if it made him happy, you’d buy it, even if it took time away from you together.

he didn’t notice how you’re slipping away, barely talking to him, barely even sleeping on the same bed anymore. he didn’t notice the constant emails on your phone. or maybe he did, and he didn’t care.

he didn’t notice that you two were basically living separate lives in the same house. he didn’t notice that you were thinking about leaving.

it never occurred to dream that you’d snap one day, that you’d leave him. it never occurred to him that you’d buy your own house one day and leave him, alone in his house.

it started small, you invited him to go to a dinner you had with your producers. he said he would left out, so you let him be, understanding it completely.

then you’d ask multiple times for him to just get out of that chair and eat dinner with you, even if it’s just once. you told him you missed him, yet he still pushed you away.

you didn’t understand where the relationship went wrong. you tried your best to work it out, talk it through, but it seemed like he didn’t even want it anymore, judging by the way he’s acting.

he says it’s just a part of the relationship, getting comfortable. but you didn’t think getting comfortable meant that you both didn’t talk to each other all day. you didn’t want this type of comfortable.

“just this once, let’s go get dinner. we can go eat at your favourite place.” you begged him.

“no, i want to finish editing, can’t you go yourself, maybe bring me takeout?” he replies to you.

“i could but i just want to spend time with you.” you begged again, almost whining.

“just go, we spend so much time together anyway.” dream tells you, almost out of anger.

“we haven-” you tried to say before getting cut off.

“OMG JUST LEAVE, I’M STRESSED OUT RIGHT NOW, LEAVE” he screams at you.

“i just-” you tried again, almost crying at that point.

“LEAVE.” he scolded again.

you left the room quietly, not wanting a screaming fest to start again.

you sat on your shared bed. thinking about what went wrong. how did your relationship become this bad.

you packed a bag. you didn’t care about your clothes, you could always buy new ones. you didn’t bother packing much, just the necessities.

you walked out the door, grabbing your car keys on your way out.

as you started you car, you sat there for a while. this was it huh?

you told yourself that you made the right decision getting a house before this argument came.

you didn’t mean to hide it away from him, in fact, you wanted to bring it up during dinner, but since the dinner invitation didn’t work, you didn’t bother.

the longer you drove, the more sad you became. tears trickled down your cheeks as you drove silently to a hotel before needing to sit a long drive from florida to california.

you sat on the hotel bed, thinking about dream. you hated ending it this way. you didn’t even think this would end. you were planning to get married, for god’s sake.

you cried even more thinking about it.

you felt alone. but you knew you still had friends who supported you. but it felt like there was a void left unfilled after you left that house.

maybe it’s for the best.

DREAM’S POV

i heard the door close. i heard it all. i heard her packing her stuff. but i don’t know why i didn’t stop her. i was too busy streaming.

it didn’t hit me until a couple days later. and when the days came, it was too late.

i knew i messed up.

when i told george and sapnap, they were furious. they said they warned me before. they asked why i’m not looking for her.

i told them it’s cause i knew you were no where near me.

i knew i messed up.

terribly.

YOUR POV

months went by so quick.

the hold in your chest unhealed. but you knew you needed to get over it.

you saw twitter, instagram, youtube. you saw that he had been blowing up.

over 13 million subscribers. you were impressed. you were immensely proud of him. you wish you were there to celebrate it with him. but you weren’t.

fortunately for you, months after you moved to california, you were offered to be a judge on the voice.

you didn’t waste a second telling your team to say yes. you grew up watching the voice. and plus, you got to meet the john legend, kelly clarkson and blake sheldon. who would miss that opportunity.

you spent a while trying to settle down in your new house. it was huge. huge for one person. but you needed it, the time alone.

you liked it peaceful and quiet, it helped you heal slowly. it helped you to move on.

you came out with a full album since then, which ended up being a hit. you were super grateful for the love you’ve been getting.

now, you sat in one of the judges chairs for blind auditions.

your hairstylist was making sure your hair was fully sprayed and looked good. you made small conversation with her, thanking her for making you look good for the camera.

there was a camera for each judge. you looked into the one right in front of you and said. “holy shit i can’t believe i’m here.”

john, who sat next to you laughed at your antics. you glanced at him and gave him a grin.

“we’re ready.” the producer said to the judges, signaling that they were starting.

audition after audition, you met amazing artists.

“you’re amazing and i used my block on john for you. if you didn’t know, he’s a little scary when he’s competitive. i would love for you to be on my team.” you said to an amazing singer you turned your chair for.

she sung an r&b song, to which got a four chair turn, but you were desperate. you needed her.

“um, oh my god, this is hard.” she said to us, before choosing her mentor.

kelly and blake chimed in, making her turn her head to look at them.

“no. please, don’t listen or look at them, just me.” you said to her, practically begging.

john laughed at this and said. “holy shit, you’re that desperate?”

“yes, john, i love her.” you laughed along with the other two judges.

“well-” the artist started. you crossed your fingers, hoping that she would pick you. you had a good chance as john was blocked. but kelly was good competition too, not counting out blake.

“i pick.” she paused.

“oh my god, spit it out already.” i screamed and laughed a little.

“i pick y/n” she announced.

“HOLY SHIT YES.” you stood from your chair and jumped a little, excited.

“you losers.” you told the other three judges.

“yeah, yeah, whatever,” kelly played along.

blind auditions went along really smoothly.

you’ve seen your face plastered all over the voice’s instagram and twitter. they even posted a clip of you being excited after getting picked as a mentor for the r&b artist.

you were having a blast. your family from back home would facetime you and congratulate you or laugh at the stupid things you did on tv.

what you didn’t know was that dream had seen them all. after all, he hadn’t paid attention to you before, why start now? your little jumps on your judge seat as you waited for the next audition. your little shouts to amazing singers auditioning.

he was proud, to say the least.

in this couple of months, he’d seen you grow into a young and successful woman. he was sad that he couldn’t be there to congratulate you through all your achievements.

but that’s what he gets for abandoning his one and only love.

at first, he didn’t even look into what you were doing. not until a few weeks after you left, george and sapnap had said something along the lines of your name and you being a judge on the voice.

them two had been purposely teasing him. they knew that he treated you like absolute shit before you left and they made it a thing to make sure clay knew that.

you weren’t in contact with dream for obvious reasons but you facetimed george and sapnap constantly, even before and after your shows.

they had been through it all with you. since you were only a couple years older than nick, you two clicked well together, always talking about tiktok trends and the new lingo. but you don’t count off george for being one of your bestfriends.

you actually had shown the camera once or twice when you facetimed george and sapnap. well, now the world knew that you three knew each other. they just didn’t know how you three met.

twitter blew up with lots of hashatgs about you three, talking about ‘when worlds’ collide’.

you thought that was funny. they even asked you to link up and be friends with dream, who you knew was dream, but you’ve always ignored those types of comments.

you saw the ship comments between you and george. you two would laugh it off and constantly say that you two are just friends. he’s your exes bestfriend, that would be awkward.

dream saw it all, the facetime calls are all over the internet. your supporters were shocked to see that you knew each other. they didn’t know that dream and you knew each other though.

he saw that you’ve been ignoring the comments to link up with him. his heart broke at that. but he deserved it. he ignored you for the longest time. now it’s your turn.

his heart broke at the shipping comments between you and george after knowing how often the facetime.

dream knew he deserved it. he deserved all the pain coming to him.

he felt grateful of his new, large following on the internet, but it felt like nothing compared to having you in his arms. why had he taken you for granted?

he was determined to see you again, to ask you to come back. he needed you.

PART TWO!

#dreamwastaken #dream x reader #dream imagines #dream imagine #dream fanfic #sapnap #georgenotfound

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bechloeislegit · 3 years ago

Text

My Spy - Chapter 4

The Bellas had just returned from a meeting with the Dean and members of the Collegiate A Cappella Committee regarding the "vagina-gate" fiasco that had occurred during a performance for President Obama's birthday. They were sitting about the kitchen counter, discussing what they needed to do to fix things.

"What are we going to do?" Stacie asked, looking around at the rest of the Bellas. "We can't be responsible for the Bellas being disbanded."

"We'll just have to win the World A Cappella Championship," Beca said with a shrug.

"It's not going to be easy," Jessica said.

"You're right. It's not going to be easy," Beca said. "But we've been ICCA Champs for three years in a row. That should play in our favor, right?"

"I agree," Ashley said. "And I think we should start by checking out Das Sound Machine to see what we're up against."

"That's a good idea," Stacie said. "I bet we can find some videos of them on YouTube or something."

Stacie pulled her laptop to her and started searching for videos of Das Sound Machine.

"Wow," Stacie said. "There are a lot of videos of them."

"Click the first one," Ashley said.

Beca watched as the girls surrounded Stacie to watch the videos. She looked at Lily and nodded her head to the door. Lily nodded and walked out of the kitchen; Beca followed.

"Can we talk on the porch?" Beca asked, looking back toward the kitchen to be sure none of the Bellas noticed her and Lily leave the kitchen.

Lily nodded and went out the front door of the house. Beca followed and quietly closed the door after stepping outside.

"I know this is random, but have you heard anything from Chloe?" Beca asked as she faced Lily.

"No," Lily said. "Not since that time she texted me her number to give to you. And, that was almost three years ago."

"I thought that might be the case," Beca said. "And I did try to call her once I got back from Spring Break that year, but the number was no longer in service. I can't get her out of my mind. I miss her so much and every time someone even appears interested in me, I blow them off. I feel like I'm cheating on her or something. I can't get past what we had to even think about being with someone else. I just wish I could talk to her, to see if there was a possibility of rekindling our relationship."

"Even after all this time, you'd take her back?" Lily asked.

"I know it sounds pathetic," Beca said. "But, I would take her back in a heartbeat. She's it for me."

Beca could hear her name being called from inside the house. She thanked Lily and opened the front door.

"Beca, there you are!" CR said, seeing Beca and Lily entering the house. "Stacie is looking for you."

"Thanks, CR," Beca said, as she and Lily walked back to the kitchen. "What's up, Stacie?"

"We found out that DSM will be at the Metro Mall in downtown Atlanta next week," Stacie said. "I think we should take a road trip and check out their show. The videos we found of them look too perfect. We think they must have been edited, and seeing them in person will give us a more realistic idea of what they can do."

"We can do that," Beca said. "It will give us a better idea of what we'll need to do to beat them at Worlds."

~~ My Spy ~~

The next morning, Beca was up early. She walked into the kitchen to find Jessica and Ashley each with their laptops in front of them.

"Hey, Beca," Jessica said. "We're all signed up for the Worlds. It's in Copenhagen, Denmark, so we need everyone to check their passports so anyone who has to get theirs renewed has time to do that."

"We also made airline and hotel reservations," Ashley said. "The airfare was a bit higher than we expected, so we could only afford to reserve four rooms. That means we'll be doubling up."

"That's good," Beca said. "Thank you both for doing all that."

"No problem," Jessica said. "I have to call my mom and ask her to check my passport."

"Me, too," Beca said. "I think mine's still good, but I want to be sure."

"Don't forget some of the others may have to do the same thing," Jessica said.

"I'll mention it at rehearsals today," Beca said.

"I'd also suggest they ask their folks to express mail their passports, whether they need them renewed or not," Jessica said. "We have two months before our first break when most of us go home, so having them mailed to us now will help get the renewal process started for anyone who needs the time."

"That's a good idea," Beca said. "Thanks, Jess. I'll mention that as well."

Beca left the kitchen and went back to her room.

"You're up early," Amy said as Beca entered. "Where have you been?"

"I was talking to Jessica and Ashley," Beca said. "We were talking about Worlds and what we need to do over the next several months. You'll need to check your passport to be sure it's still valid."

"I know mine's still good," Fat Amy said. "I had to renew it four years ago to come to the U.S. for school and they're usually valid for ten years."

Fat Amy grabbed her phone and put on a light jacket.

"I'm going out for a while," she said, leaving Beca alone in her room. "I'll see you later at practice."

After Amy was gone, Beca pulled out her phone and called her mother.

"Beca?" Sarah's raspy voice said into the phone. "What's wrong?"

Beca winced as she looked at the time and realized it was only five-thirty in the morning in Seattle.

"Everything's fine," Beca said quickly. "I didn't realize how early it was for you."

"That's okay, I'm up now," Sarah said, yawning into the phone. "Sorry. So, why did you call me at such an early hour?"

"The Bellas are going to Copenhagen in May to compete in the A Capella World Championship," Beca said, rushing to get everything out quickly. "I need you to get my passport and express mail it to me. I have to make sure I have time to get it renewed if I need to. I'm sorry I woke you."

"I'll get it and take it to the post office later today," Sarah said. "What else is going on? I can tell by your voice there's something else you want to say. And don't tell me everything's fine because I'm your mother and I'd know if you were lying."

"I was hoping we could talk," Beca said.

"Hold on," Sarah said, putting her pillows behind her back and sitting up against the headboard. "Okay, I'm comfy now, what did you want to talk about?"

"Um, Chloe," Beca said hesitantly.

Sarah sighed into the phone. "I thought you were done with her."

"I can't help it, mom," Beca said. "I still love her. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's true."

"It's been three years, Beca," Sarah said. "She listened to me and has stayed away from you, why can't you listen to me and forget about her?"

"What?!"

Sarah sighed again. "Nothing."

"What do you mean by she listened to you?" Beca asked tersely. "When did you even talk to her?"

"I guess enough time has passed, I can tell you now," Sarah said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "She came by the house when you were here during Spring Break after your father was arrested."

"What did you say to her?"

"Beca," Sarah said, pleadingly.

"Answer the fucking question!"

"Watch your tone, young lady," Sarah admonished. "I'm still your mother and was only doing what I thought was best for you."

Beca laughed. "What was best for me? You mean, like when you shuttled me off to college so I could spend some time with my father? You know, the guy who is in Federal prison for the next fifteen years for being a drug smuggler and dealer?" Beca scoffed. "You know nothing about what is best for me."

"Your father said it was all a mistake," Sarah said. "He was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Wrong place at the wrong time?" Beca sneered before taking a breath and saying, "I didn't call you to talk about my father. But, I now want to talk about what you said to Chloe when she came to the house."

Sarah leaned back and closed her eyes. Sarah sighed again and took a deep breath, knowing in her heart what she was about to tell Beca may well be the thing that sends Beca running away from her and straight to Chloe. She took another moment before replying.

"I told her I didn't know what she hoped to accomplish by showing up here uninvited," Sarah said. "Then she had the nerve to ask me to have you call her because she really wanted to talk to you. As she was leaving I yelled at her to leave you alone; that she was no good for you. I told her that you were over her because you were out with an old girlfriend from High School. And calling her was the first thing you did when you got home."

"Un-fucking-believable," Beca muttered. "Do you realize what you've done? The pain and heartache you've caused me? I could have been with Chloe all this time if you hadn't stuck your nose where it didn't belong."

"I'm your mother," Sarah said. "I only-"

"Oh, for the love of God," Beca interrupted. "Give it a rest! You don't care about what is best for me, you only care about the fact that Chloe was part of the group that arrested dad. If you really want to do what's best for me, then stay out of my life!"

Beca ended the call without waiting for a response. She turned the phone off and threw it and herself down on the bed.

~~ My Spy ~~

"It's awfully quiet up there," Stacie said, looking up the stairs. "Do you think we should go check on her?"

"I think we should leave her be for now," Jessica said. "She sounded upset and may need a minute."

"Jessica's right," CR said. "Let's give her a few minutes, and then we can check on her."

Stacie nodded and remained standing at the bottom of the stairs. Just then, Emily and Flo walked into the house and immediately sensed something was off.

"What's going on?" Emily asked, looking around at the Bellas that were congregated at the bottom of the stairs.

"We just heard Beca yelling at her mom about Chloe," Jessica said.

"Chloe? Is that the girl who was a cop and arrested Beca's dad?" Flo asked.

"That's right," CR said. "Beca and Chloe were a thing when it all went down."

"A thing?" Ashley said. "Chloe was more than a 'thing' to Beca. She's the love of Beca's life. Beca loved her then, and she loves her now."

"From what we heard Beca saying," Stacie said. "Her mother said something to Chloe that made Chloe leave Beca alone. Beca didn't like whatever it was she heard from her mother."

"Is she okay?" Emily asked. "Should we check on her?"

"We were giving her some space," Jessica said and looked up the stairs. "But, it's still quiet; too quiet. I think we should go up."

"We can't all go up there," CR said. "She'll freak out on us. Stacie, you and Jessica know her best. I think you two should go up."

"I agree with CR," Flo said.

"Okay," Jessica said. "Come on, Stacie, let's do this."

~~ My Spy ~~

Stacie and Jessica stood outside Beca's door. Stacie put her ear to the door and listened.

"I think she's crying," Stacie whispered.

Jessica knocked lightly on the door.

"Beca?" Jessica said, opening the door. "It's Jessica and Stacie. We just want to make sure everything is okay."

"Come in," Beca's muffled voice called out.

Jessica and Stacie looked at each other. Stacie opened the door and the two went up the stairs. Stacie peeked around the corner when she reached the top. Beca was sitting up on her bed, staring at her.

"Hey," Stacie said, stepping closer to Beca.

"Are you okay?" Jessica asked from behind Stacie.

"I'm so pissed at my mother," Beca said, sniffling.

"We gathered that," Stacie said. "We could hear you yelling at her all the way downstairs."

"Oh," Beca said. "Sorry about that."

"Meh," Stacie said, dismissing the apology with a wave of her hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jessica asked.

"No," Beca said, sighing as she ran a hand through her hair. "Yes. I didn't know it, but Chloe came to see me in Seattle and my mom never told me until now that she was there. Chloe wanted to talk to me but my mother told her I was seeing an old girlfriend and to stay away from me."

"Why did your mother do that?" Jessica asked.

"She said she was doing what she thought was best for me," Beca said.

"But you don't think that's the real reason?" Stacie asked.

"No," Beca said. "I think she was mad because she believed it was Chloe's fault that my dad was arrested. He hasn't taken any responsibility for his own actions and my mom thinks he is innocent and they got the wrong guy."

Beca sighed and looked down at her fingers, twisting her thumb ring.

"I know you girls are all still mad about Chloe lying to everyone," Beca said softly. "But, I want you to know that I'm still in love with her."

Stacie and Jessica both smiled at Beca.

"Beca, I think I can speak for all of us when I tell you," Jessica said. "We've forgiven Chloe. It didn't take long for us to realize she was just doing her job. If she had told us what she was doing, it would have compromised the investigation."

"Jessica's right," Stacie said. "We are all proud of how Chloe helped bring down a huge part of a major drug ring. That's pretty badass stuff."

"Really?" Beca asked, her brows furrowed. "You all forgive her?"

"Yep," Jessica said.

"You don't have to be afraid to talk about Chloe to us," Stacie said. "We all know how much you love her."

"Are you going to try and find her?" Jessica asked.

"I would love to," Beca said. "But I have no idea where to even start."

"I do," Jessica said, grinning at Beca.

"Really?" Beca asked. "Where?"

"Start with Lily," Jessica said. "I have a feeling she has some tricks up her sleeve and can help you."

"That's a great idea," Stacie said.

"I don't know," Beca said. "I've been talking to Lily and she hasn't mentioned anything about being able to find Chloe for me."

"She wouldn't just come out and tell you she could do it," Jessica said. "You'd have to ask her if she could find Chloe."

Beca chewed her bottom lip until she came to a decision.

"What the Hell?" Beca said. "It couldn't hurt to ask."

"That's the spirit," Stacie said. "Let's go see if everyone's ready for rehearsal."

~~ My Spy ~~

Later that night, after the Bellas had finished dinner and were settling down to watch a movie, Beca asked Lily if they could talk.

"Kitchen or front porch?" Lily asked with a smile.

"Kitchen," Beca said and started in that direction.

Lily followed and both sat at the counter.

"Is this about Chloe?" Lily asked, surprising Beca.

"Yes," Beca replied. "I was wondering if you, maybe, had any way of finding where she is? I just want to find out if she's one, okay, and two, if she still has any interest in me whatsoever."

Lily looked down at the counter and back up at Beca.

"I'll do what I can," Lily said. "I can't make any guarantees, but I'll do my best."

"Really?" Beca squealed. "Thank you. Let me know if I can do anything to help."

"I'll start looking now," Lily said, standing.

"I really appreciate this, Lily," Beca said. "If there is anything I could ever do for you, just name it."

Lily nodded and left Beca sitting alone in the kitchen.

After a few minutes, Beca got up and rejoined the girls in the living room.

"Well?" Jessica whispered as Beca sat next to her.

"She's going to see what she can do," Beca whispered.

Jessica threw an arm around Beca's shoulders and gave her a side hug. Stacie saw this and looked at them with raised eyebrows.

"Lily's going to look for Chloe," Jessica mouthed to Stacie.

Stacie smiled and gave Beca a thumbs up. Beca sat back, smiling and nodding her head. She just knew Lily was going to find Chloe.

~~ My Spy ~~

A few days later, Beca had bid everyone goodnight and went up to her room. Fat Amy was out, so Beca was alone. She was surprised by a knock on the door.

"Come in," Beca called out.

Lily came up the stairs, waving some papers as she came into Beca's view.

"I found something," Lily said.

"What did you find?" Beca asked eyes widened in surprise. "Do you know where she is?"

"It took some digging," Lily said. "I had to follow her trail around the U.S. and a few other countries. She's been busy."

"Okay," Beca said. "Do you know where she is now?"

"As of today, Chloe was in," Lily said as she looked through the papers in her hand. "Atlanta."

"Chloe's in Atlanta," Beca said, excitedly. "Oh, my God! I can't believe she's that close. Do you know where she is in Atlanta?"

"I can't pinpoint an exact location," Lily said. "I can keep trying, but I'm not confident we will know more than she is somewhere in Atlanta."

"Thank you for doing this," Beca said. "I feel so much better since I think it's safe to assume she's still alive and okay. If you find out anything more, please let me know."

"I will," Lily said, handing the papers with her notes to Beca. "Goodnight, Beca."

"Goodnight," Beca said as Lily made her way down the attic stairs.

Beca looked through the papers Lily left with her. The list of places Chloe had been was fairly extensive. Over the past three years, she has been to New York, Oregon, California, Germany, and Australia. And now, Atlanta.

"She must still be working as an undercover agent," Beca muttered. "I wonder what she's working on in Atlanta."

Beca continued reading until tiredness took over. She put the papers on the nightstand and climbed under the covers. She laid down and was asleep within minutes.

Chloe flopped back on the bed, laughing as Beca crawled her way up Chloe's body. Beca kissed every inch of Chloe's bare skin as she made her way up, finally landing on Chloe's lips. The kiss was full of passion and want.

"Ready for another round?" Beca asked in between kisses.

"I'm ready for round 3," Chloe responded, in between more kisses. "And round 4, and round 5,-"

"God, I love you," Beca whispered before fully capturing Chloe's lips.

"Wait, what?" Chloe murmured, gently pushing Beca back to look at her face. "You love me?"

"Yeah," Beca said, moving to sit on the bed and look down at Chloe. "Of course, I love you."

Tears came to Chloe's eyes as she stared at Beca.

"I love you, too," Chloe finally whispered.

A big smile came to Beca's lips as she slid back on top of Chloe and kissed her. Her smile suddenly fell when Chloe was no longer under her.

"Chloe? Come back!" Beca cried out. "I love you!"

Beca sat up with a start and looked around. She wiped both hands down her face and mumbled into the darkness, "Where exactly are you, Chloe Beale?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N (actually just a friendly reminder): Next week is BeChloe Week 2021 and I will be participating. I may or may not have the next chapter finished in time to post on Thursday. I'll have to see how the week goes.

#bechloe fanfiction #beca mitchell #chloe beale #bechloeislegit

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willow-salix · 4 years ago

Note

Why hello there

Is there anything you would recommend a babi witch like myself studying that has been missed from my list :>

Mah list (so far):

○ Witch vs Pagan vs Wicca

○ Types of witches

○ Grey witch

○ Black witch

○ Crystals + Properties

○ Sacred geometry

○ Pentacle + Pentagram

○ Sigils

○ Protection

○ Moon phases

○ Sabbats

○ Types of salts

○ Respecting nature

○ Graveyard etiquette

○ Spirit guides

○ Divination (runes, Tarot, Coins, etc)

○ Casting a circle

○ Candle magick

○ Colour magick

○ Closed practice appropriation

○ Herbs

○ Astrology

○ Tree of life

○ Auras

○ The five clairs

○ Energy/visualisation magick

○ History of starseeds

○ Astral projection

○ Methods of meditation

○ Grounding

○ Plant magick

Ooh OK! Here goes.

First and foremost, as a witch of twenty plus years, the most important thing I can tell you is to be yourself. If this is a belief system and way of life that you want for life it has to fit in with you and your personality.

Forget everything you see on Instagram, tictok or Pinterest, it's not about the aesthetic, it's about you.

There is no room for witch shaming on my blog.

And by that I mean that EVERYONE works in different ways, at a different pace and to different levels. Never compare yourself to anyone else or how they work. Never think that you aren't doing enough or that you aren't progressing enough.

You are on your own path and that is the right one for you, so you do it your own way. You want to stop and smell the flowers? Do it. You want to dip your feet in that stream? Go for it! You want to stop and rest for a bit? Best idea ever!

You should never feel pressured to do anything that you aren't ready for or aren't comfortable with. That includes such things as blood magic, working with deity you don't feel a connection with, working skyclad, doing any kind of sexual magic or anything that makes you feel off about it. It's YOUR craft.

Be kind to yourself, don't have expectations and don't ever think you aren't good enough or worthy.

This includes making your craft unique to you. Visualisation is one of the witches most poweful tools, the magic doesn't come from the expensive athame, insence or candles, its in the heart of the witch. The power comes from you. And visualisation is your key to that but so is choosing how to make it work for you.

Take me for example, I'm this loveable thundernerd witch, so that reflects in my craft.

In circle (mediumship development) we did a meditation and I was directed to the beach. So what beach did I go to...

"There's a lovely beach, I can feel the salt water on my skin, I can smell the salt in the air, there's a light breeze that's rustling the leaves on the palm trees all around me and in the distance I can hear the faint sound of someone playing the piano."

Hell yeah I was there. That's my happy place!

I need to ascend to a higher level of consciousness? Am I taking that golden winding staircase or am I calling John for the space elevator? What do you think I'm gonna choose?

I need to go lower, below the earth to go into trance? Hell I'm taking Alan's seat down.

Make it work for you.

Working with charms, that's a very important thing for me. I have lucky charms, trinkets and things everywhere. And they don't have to be pagan. I put a spell on my car to keep me safe and the car safe. Then I charged up a little TAG John and Virgil, they live in my car, Virgil is my co-pilot John is my navigator. They help me feel calm and safe.

Energy weaving is a big thing, I always do it that any energy I raise for something that doesn't already have a predetermined purpose, say for example it's full moon and I'm bouncing around outside, everything I raise I direct out to the earth as healing. I'll raise my arms to the heavens and say : I send this energy out to anyone or anything that needs it right now, I send my love and healing into the wind and trust that it will be taken to where it can do the mslt good.

Talking to other witches about how they do things and how they work is sooooo important. That's why I'm not in a tradition ( alexandrian, gardnerian etc) because I don't like having just one way to do things. That doesn't work for most people, they just won't admit it.

Trying different things to find a way that works for you is so much nicer and healthier than struggling to work the one way that you've been taught. So read, a lot, watch a lot of reputable youtubers (I recommend Tylluan Penry, she's amazing, a grandmother witch and a good friend of mine) and make your own choices. And remember that nothing is set in stone, we are ever evolving and every changing, if you feel the urge to try something new and work a different way, do it. You don't have to stick with it.

An astral altar, sooo important but something I don't see many people talking about. An astral altar is something you build in meditation.

You have your happy place, somewhere you feel safe and calm and protected (Tracy Island and the beach for me or my Nan and Grandads house as I remember it before they passed away) but it could be anywhere, a woodland, a house, a stream, a playground you used to love. Anything or anywhere.

Here you find a nice place that you like and you dream up /visualise your altar base, like a nice table, a tree stump, and rock, anything. And here you place all the items you might need, all the things you've dreamed about that you can't afford or the things you have in real life. And you place them all there. You keep that space, you charge it up, you spend time there and then, any time you are away form home or can't get to your altar in the real world for any reason, you have somewhere to go, somewhere to work and some where to commune.

Tools, I didn't see that on the list but might have missed it.

Anything can be a tool. That's the biggest lesson of all. Our pagan ancestors would have used whatever they had to hand, no tools were single use or bought for the purpose of their craft. A cauldron was cooked in all week, a knife is used to chop everything and then used to direct energy.

These days we have the resources (and don't have to hide) to be able to have specific tools that we use only for our craft, but they don't have to be expensive. Go to a thrift store or buy cheap on eBay, a letter opener is an athame, a single wine glass can be a chalice, a pretty bowl is your offering bowl, a single plate is an offering plate, mismatched candle stick holders. All valid and will work just as well. The tools are a focus, they are NOT the source of our power.

Another tip, make witchcraft part of your every day life. Make it as natural and normal as everything else you do. It's part of your life and should be treated as such.

Making coffee in the morning? Set your intentions for the day and focus on it as you make it. You want to draw positivity? Stir doesil (clockwise) that's attracting. Want to rid yourself of the bad mood you had yesterday? Stir widdershins (counterclockwise) that's banishing. Not got anything? Stir a pentagram and call it good.

Sigils, doodle them everywhere (if you want a quick lesson on how to draw them and make up your own, let me know). Charm the shit out of everything.

Whisper a food blessing before you make food or eat. Bring that abundance in.

Trail your fingers along a wall or bushes to feel the energy as you walk.

Everything is magical to a witch.

Read mythology stories, it helps us learn and helps us connect to the stories of our pantheons and deity.

And heres the biggest thing I can tell you. Don't worry about getting things wrong. It's how we learn and honestly there is no such thing as wrong as long as your intentions are right.

Wording of spells doesn't matter, the intention and feeling behind them does.

You can do a cleansing by saying : Blessed spirit, Father God, mother goddess, I ask that you bless this house/tool /space and help drive out any negativity. Spirits that reside, if you're good you may stay, if you wish me halm, then please leave.

Nothing wrong with that.

Or you do a me: Mother Goddess, Father God, I'm back. Help me out here please, I need to cleanse this shit. Yo, spirits, good guys, ya chill, bad shit, get the fuck out! I'm the witch I'm in charge, do as you're told *claps hands all over the place and follows up with a cloud of vape smokes because my intention is in my breath and I'm blowing that negativity away*

And last but not least. I'm sure you've heard "Ever mind the rule of three, what you send out comes back to thee" That's very true, try to only send out good if you can. But you're human and it won't always happen, you'll have bad thoughts and negative emotions, that's normal and fine. Just don't do it with nastiness in your heart.

"and if it harms none, do what you will."

There's a line here most people don't know... "do no harm. But take no shit."

Because the one person most witches forget to look out for is themselves. Being good, doing good and being positive is great, but not at the expense of yourself. If it harms you, don't do it.

Love and light, and bright blessings to you. X

#witch #witchcraft #paganism #pagan witch #paganpride #Witches #wisdom #blessed be

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chris-evans-indian-fanfic · 4 years ago

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Longing

Chapter 1

Description: Chris Evans becomes obsessed with you when he realises he can't have you. Eager to be with you in some form or the other, he starts writing fanfiction, where both of you are passionately in love with each other. But what happens when his imagination starts to merge with his reality in his subconsciousness?

Warnings: This entire mini-series will contain smut, bad language and angst. ONLY PROCEED IF YOU ARE 18+

This first chapter is inspired by the GIF below from @navybrat817 and @stargazingfangirl18 's ShamelessHoesForChris writing challenge. Click here to know more

A/N: I do not know Chris Evans personally. This fic is a work of imagination and should only be used as such. It doesn't comment on Chris or anybody else personally. It is also not meant to destroy his reputation or paint him in a bad light. I admire the guy and he really seems like a genuinely nice person. Again, I repeat, THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION SO TREAT IT AS SUCH!

A/N 2: I did search quite a lot on the internet and didn't come across a fic like this. Which makes me nervous and also kind of excited that I get to do something unique? Please please give me your criticism and feedback on this! Would love to hear your thoughts.

A/N 3: I have used a few big words throughout the series because this fic is from Chris' POV and we all know that he's a bit of a wordsmith 😅 I had never even heard these words before in my life. So please let me know if I have used them in an incorrect manner.

My Main Masterlist

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

The best thing about shooting Defending Jacob? Chris got to stay in his house in Boston. The worst part about working on the set? He was currently stuck in a room engulfed in hot, angry flames of fire. The fire had abruptly started due to a short circuit and spread across the set in the blink of an eye. Coughing, Chris doubled down on the floor, his breathing becoming more laboured with each second.

The smoke stung his eyes as he looked around for a fire extinguisher. He tried calling for help, but only small grunts managed to escape his lips. Just as he was on the verge of losing consciousness, he heard a voice. Your voice.

"Is anyone here?" you called out, your voice faint in his ears. "Hello?"

Chris tried to shout again, but only sank further towards the floor.

Luckily, you opened the door of his room and found his almost crumpled body on the ground. Using the fire extinguisher, you managed to douse as many flames as you could, while also covering Chris with a thick blanket. As the room was still filled with smoke, you pressed a wet towel on his face, asking him to breathe through his nose.

Slowly, you managed to drag him out of the room and into the corridor, the fire reduced to embers in most places thanks to your fire extinguisher. Chris being a heavy man, you tried your best to support his weight as much as you could, your body almost stooping to form a right angle.

Just as you thought you might be in the clear, you heard a crack from above. Looking up, you realised that the ceiling was about to cave in and so, on impulse, you pushed Chris out of the way, as portions of the false ceiling fell on you, knocking you unconscious.

Chris, in his state, vaguely realised what happened, before he lost his balance and fell to the ground a few feet away from you, his left arm stretched towards your limp body, as if reaching out.

Sirens of the firetruck and the ambulance filled the heavy air. A deep groan escaped his lips as he attempted to crawl towards you, a failed effort. Where did it all go so wrong? he thought. I was supposed to be the one to save you angel! You should be falling in love with me!! And break-up with your good for nothing fiancé!

Overwhelmed with emotions, Chris started drifting off to sleep, your name leaving his lips in the form of a desperate whisper.

🔥

8 MONTHS AGO

Chris met you for the first time at the table read for Defending Jacob. You didn't strike him as anyone special. Being the Junior Assistant Scriptwriter for the series, you were just in the room as a formality. It was your job to jot down the minutes of the meeting, and have the parts of the script marked which were supposed to be changed slightly.

You managed to stay invisible for more such meetings. An introvert by nature, you kept to yourself even when the shooting started.

It was in the Week 4 of the shooting when Chris actually started to notice you. He realised you were always absent from his house parties, never stayed around on the set for after-work shenanigans and, you never hung out with any of your crew-mates for a drink.

What really drove his attention towards you were your random acts of kindness. He once saw you feeding a homeless man in the alley behind the set. Unknown to you, it was where Chris often hid from his cast and crew to smoke.

Then there was the bit with setting up of a mobile blood donation camp on the set, which was completely your idea. He had also seen you distribute fliers for animal adoption centres and NGOs who fought for climate preservation.

You always made sure everyone on the set ate before you did, and the ones who couldn't due to work, you were sure to help them and share their load so they could have lunch.

But one particular incident made him see that you were no ordinary woman.

It was a particularly tough day on the set. They were shooting the 35-second sex scene between him and Michelle. While these scenes looked easy on the screen, they always made Chris feel uneasy about himself. "What if my body is not upto the mark?" , "I don't want to hurt Michelle in any way" , "God I hope I don't touch her inappropriately by mistake" and more such troubling thoughts clawed at his mind. After the scene finally ended, he felt the lustful eyes of the crew feasting on him, admiring his body on display.

He hurried towards his van, avoiding to look at anyone, until his eyes met yours for a total of 5 seconds. He expected to see the same smirk to be reflected in your eyes as everyone else's. Instead, he saw a completely different emotion. He saw sadness, sympathy, and most importantly, recognition of his discomfort etched on your face.

After that, Chris started to keep a close eye on you. You always wore comfortable clothes, with loads of pockets. Yet somehow, they always fit you well. He also noticed that you always got your own lunch, refusing to eat the food available on the set.

A few days after filming the sex scene, he decided to try to speak with you. Palms sweaty, he headed towards you and gently said your name.

"Hi," he said, and stopped.

"Hello Mr Evans," you greeted him back, a little surprised that he knew your name.

He continued to look at you, bright cerulean eyes bearing into yours, apparently lost. You blinked twice, unfazed, and a little uncomfortable, "Can I help you sir?"

Chris shook his head slightly. He was so used to women fawning all over him, that your utter lack of excitement on seeing him deterred him a bit.

He cleared his throat, a little flustered, *Ahem yeah… I wanted to ask… something… karaoke!" he managed to mumble, "It's karaoke night at my house. Tomorrow. Will you come? At night?"

"Umm… No Mr Evans. I am sorry I will not be able to make it," you politely declined while taking a small step back.

"Oh. Uhh… well we can have it any other night if you want," he cleared his throat again, sweat starting to gather on his forehead as he noticed your movement, "You never visit any of my house-parties."

You smiled a bit, "I like to go home early. I want to spend as much time as I can with my fiancé and my cat."

Chris raised his eyebrows at that revelation, "Fiancé? I… I don't see a ring."

"That's because there isn't one," your smile widened as you pulled the chain around your neck and revealed a locket. It was an intricately carved sunflower locket, with small, delicate curls nestled inside the petals.

Chris glanced at it with disdain. It looked hand-made, cheap, "Is that… is it made from clay?"

"Yes Mr Evans," you beamed at the locket, admiring it with love and pride, "My fiancé is a potter and he made this himself. It took him over 6 hours just to carve all the petals. But he still made it because he knows how much I love sunflowers."

"So he's too poor to give you an appropriate ring?" Chris snapped at you.

Offended, you looked at him in shock and anger as he continued. "You deserve someone who can afford to give you an expensive engagement ring. Not some cheap craft project."

You grit your teeth at his comment, "Unlike some people, I don't look at the price of the gifts, I look at their value. While this," you held the locket in front of his eyes, "is worthless for you, it is priceless for me."

You placed the locket back inside your shirt and walked away. Chris stood rooted at the spot, biting his cheek hollow. He hadn't meant to drive you away. He had just wanted you to see him as a prospective partner.

As he turned towards his trailer, an idea popped into his head.

🔥

Next Friday saw you and your fiancé walk into the bowling alley. The production house had organised a "Bring Your Partner to Work Day" and you both were excited to step out of your routine lives.

A few people on the set recognised your fiancé Aiden from his YouTube channel. Kenneth, an Assistant Set Designer, drooled over him, "Maaahhnnn! I love your pottery videos! They are so calming dude. How do you make them so relaxing?"

The ever shy and soft-spoken Aiden gushed at the compliment, turning a shade of red which you always found adorable. Aiden was almost the same height as you, with a lean figure and a kind, freckled face. Your friends always told you that Aiden's looks were nothing to brag about, but you disagreed. Because for you, this man was the most handsomest, cutest and sexiest person in the world.

And you knew he felt the same way about you. That's why, even after being together for almost 5 years now, you two still looked at each other with heart eyes.

As the party progressed, you made sure to avoid Chris, and so far, you were successful. That was until he softly said your name.

With dread in your stomach, you and Aiden turned around to face the man. Aiden knew of your previous encounter with Chris, and tried to square his shoulders as much as possible, but Chris' towering physique and personality literally made it impossible for Aiden to appear tough.

You gave Chris a curt nod and received a sweet smile in response.

"I believe I owe you an apology," he confessed, "I am sorry. My behavior that day was inexcusable." He paused for reaction, but looking at your hesitant faces, he continued, "It was quite a hectic day on the set and I guess I took it all out on you," he looked towards you, "You know I am capricious by nature. It takes me some time to become gregarious. But," he raised his hands in the air, "I repeat, the way I acted was inexcusable. I am sorry."

He extended his arm towards Aiden, "You are a porter I believe."

"Potter, sir," Aiden corrected while shaking his hand and introducing himself.

You bit your tongue, knowing that Chris was mocking you with his false apology.

He invited Megan to join the conversation, "Megan loves handmade ceramics. Maybe she would be interested in your work."

Introductions were made again, and as the conversation pursued, it arrived at the topic of your marriage.

"Have you guys decided on a date yet?" asked Megan as Chris looked at you.

"We are planning to get married as soon as the shooting ends for DJ," you smiled.

"Oh really? Wow that's… unusual," Megan tried her best to hide her surprise.

"We don't know exactly when will the shooting end," Chris said with a frown on his face.

"That's not an issue Mr Evans. We are actually planning to get married at the courthouse," revealed Aiden.

"You know if money is an issue then we would be more than happy to help you guys out," Chris offered in a sincere tone.

"Oh no no Mr Evans. Money isn't an issue," you clarified, "We have decided to donate the money we had intended to spend on the wedding."

"But thank you so much for the generous offer, we really appreciate it," Aiden added with a sincere smile.

"You know a lot of couples are doing that nowadays. It's a trend I believe," Megan commented, "Where are you going to make the donation?"

"The local orphanage where I grew up. We both love kids and, it just seemed to be the perfect choice," Aiden beamed at you.

You mirrored his expression while Chris scowled. "I think everybody should get the wedding of their dreams, and you" he stated, pointing towards you, "deserve much more than a courthouse wedding. Don't you want to get married in a beautiful church? Walk down the aisle in a gorgeous white gown? And get married to a man who can actually fulfill your wishes and desires?"

Squaring your shoulders, you looked at Chris dead in the eye, "I am marrying the man of my dreams Mr Evans. The wedding ceremony doesn't matter to me. What does matter is the beautiful life we will begin together. Now if you will excuse us," you linked your arm with Aiden's, "we need to leave."

Chris watched you leave as Megan tried to distract him with something else. Tonight did not go the way he had anticipated.

He left the party shortly after you, directly heading for his home. Standing under the cold shower, he tried to reason with himself. He was acting out of character. There was no reason for his behavior. You had made it ample clear that you loved your fiancé and that nobody in the world could sway you.

Then why was he so hell-bent on claiming you as his?

Because she's perfect for you, a voice answered him.

Yeah, but she belongs to someone else, he argued.

So what?, the voice urged, Fight for her. You saw her wimp of a fiancé. You can break him into two pieces without breaking a sweat. She is made for you. Just you, and nobody else.

"I… Just… No," Chris stammered loudly as he shook his head, trying to get rid of the voice in his mind.

He tried to meditate, but it didn't work. Dodger too, was unable to distract him. Even his books on self-help and mental health were of no use.

As a last resort, he opened his laptop, but his fingers halted at the search bar, the cursor blinking back at him.

He was too tempted to search for you again. The last time he had Googled you, he had been satisfied with the results. You often volunteered with a few NGOs, coordinated multiple donation drives, visited orphanages and taught underprivileged children. His heart had melted at a particular photograph- you were holding an 8-month-old girl in your arms, while looking over a painting drawn by a 4-year-old boy as the child looked up at you with a toothy smile.

It reminded him of everything he wanted to have, but still couldn't.

He closed his eyes and started kneading his forehead with his palms. Everybody he knew always only had the best things about him. Right from Scarlett to Mark to Olivia to every fucking person he had ever worked with, everybody said he deserved to have a loving wife, a stable family.

And yet, here he was, on a Friday night, home alone with a beer bottle, on the verge of anxiety.

Was it just anxiety though?

Who the fuck is Aiden and why does he deserve to be with her? the voice in his head was back.

They love each other, they want to get married, Chris reasoned.

He doesn't hold a candle next to you, the voice persisted, People love money more than they love others. She will come to you. But you need to let her know you are available. You need to take her to-

"No," Chris interrupted the voice loudly, "No. This is unhealthy. No."

Reaching for his phone, he searched for his therapist's number, when the voice chuckled, You really think a shrink is going to help you with this? Eh? They are only going to ask you to fuck another pussy, or read more books. And I will be damned before you touch another book about trees.

Chris shook his head again, but in vain. Unable to find the number in his contacts, he turned to Google for the second time that night and started searching for therapists in his area. The voice tut-ted, Yeah, as if the psycho doctor is going to shut their trap about Chris Evans crying over a girl.

Chris almost crushed his bottle in frustration. He couldn't let the voice take over. Not now. Not after working his ass off to get where wanted in his career. Taking a deep breath, he looked at the screen again and came across the headline- "Why Do People Write Fanfiction?" The word fanfiction seemed vaguely familiar to him. He was going to ignore the article and scroll downwards, but the brief underneath the headline made him stop- …mostly, people write fanfiction to stay in touch with the characters they love," says leading Psychologist Andrea Williams.

Intrigued, he opened the article and started reading. Then he opened another, and another and by the time he was done, he had read 6-7 articles on the concept of fanfiction and what it entailed.

Sighing, he opened a new word document. He was reluctant to type a letter, let alone a whole fictional story. He had tried everything and yet, you chose to occupy a rent-free space in his mind.

Now all he needed was a reference.

He minimised the document, and opened a new tab on his browser. His hesitant fingers typed the words - Chris Evans Fanfiction - into the search bar, and he instantly winced.

Millions of search results were displayed before him, and as he read the descriptions of each one of them, he realised that 99% of these stories were porn. There was no sugar-coating it. On the 5th page of the search results, he luckily found a story sans the erotica. It was a cute one-shot about him going on a first date with the reader. He read it with squinted eyes, afraid that a sex scene might jump out of the blue, but luckily, nothing of the sort happened.

Chris liked reading it. It was an innocent story filled with romance.

But the only problem? It was written from the reader's point of view. He checked a few others, and realised they were all written from the women's perspective, not his.

He sat back in his chair, turning his head such that he was looking at the ceiling, contemplating his options.

You want her, the voice whispered.

Reluctantly, he typed the first word that came to his mind. Your name.

Chris rested his chin on his palm, wondering where to start. If this were fiction, would tonight have gone different? Would you have visited his house for karaoke that night?

Tapping his fingers on the desk, he bit his tongue in thought. Thinking it was better to start at the beginning, he started typing from his POV-

The first time I saw her I thought she was pretty. I saw her during meetings and the shooting. Then one day I saw her giving food to a homeless man-

Deleting his words, Chris shook his head. This was insane! Right? You were a real human being and it was unethical of him to write this! He needed to learn to handle his feelings.

If you don't have the balls to fight for her, then be with her in the stories you write. Grow a spine Evans, whispered the insulting voice.

Hesitating, he tried to write another paragraph, which ended up getting deleted.

Try again, the voice coaxed him. Pour your heart into this. Write better.

Taking a sip of the beer, Chris started typing again-

It was lunchtime when I saw her arranging some equipment on the table. Her back was facing me as I carefully approached her, afraid to startle her. I breathed in her scent, light, floral and fresh, before whispering her name.

She turned around, a bit surprised to see me, but she smiled nevertheless. Oh gosh her smile. I had seen her smile a few times on the set, but in person, it took my breath away.

"Hi," I managed to greet her shyly. She matched my response.

"I was wondering if you would like to sing karaoke with me? There's a karaoke party tonight at my house if you would like to come," I asked her hopefully.

Her expression turned remorseful as she apologised, "I cannot come Mr Evans. My fiancé won't let me."

Imagine my surprise when I found out about her fiancé. "I didn't know about your fiancé. Why won't he let you come?" I asked her, concerned as she started sniffing a bit.

"He's… he's very strict Mr Evans. He doesn't like it when I go out with my fri-friends or co-workers," she shared between her light sobs.

My heart broke into pieces on hearing her confession. I had often noticed her taciturn behaviour on the set, but I had no idea about the reason behind it.

I raised my hands to cup her face. I was itching to wipe her tears with my lips, but instead, I used my thumbs.

"I want to help you. Please let me," I requested.

"Nobody can help me Mr Evans. I am stuck with a monster." She pulled a chain from underneath her shirt and I got a glimpse at the marks on her neck. "Aiden gave me this chain and locket instead of an engagement ring. He said it will be better than a ring. And now he-" she started sobbing harder. I pulled her into my chest, running my right hand through her hair as my left hand soothed her back.

"And now he uses it as a leash," my angel whispered, horrified, "he says I do not deserve a ring."

I hugged her tighter and thankfully, she buried her face in my chest, "You are no longer stuck with him. Are you listening to me?" I bent my face to bring my lips near her ears, "I will make sure that you are free of him."

She shook her head, reluctantly pulling away from me, "No Mr Evans. I cannot-"

"Yes you can," I interrupted her. "You are going to come to my house for karaoke tonight. Message Aiden right now, and tell him that I will be dropping you home. Okay?"

After some coaxing, she agreed. I held her close as she typed out the message, her hands shaking around her mobile phone. Finally she clicked on the SEND button.

I brushed a kiss on her forehead, "Wait for me in the back alley after the shoot, okay? I will pick you up from there."

She nodded gratefully in response.

I couldn't wait for the shoot to be over that day. In my eagerness, I even messed up a few takes, mumbling over my lines like an idiot. But eventually, I got through the day.

I was excited when I picked her up after the shoot. I could see she was nervous and maybe a little bit scared, but she still entered my car anyway. So I made small talk with her and tried to put her mind at ease.

Finally, when we reached my house, she was in awe.

"This is the most beautiful house I have ever seen Mr Evans," she gasped as I led her inside, "I don't think I have ever seen anything like it before!"

I chuckled, "I am happy you like it. It… it just feels empty sometimes, you know? I find loneliness ubiquitous in this house."

You looked at her puzzled expression and smiled. "Ubi-what was that word Mr Evans?"

"Ubiquitous," I replied, "it means something that is present and is found everywhere."

"Ahh okay," she nodded, "thank you for teaching me."

"I will accept your gratitude only on one condition."

She tilted her head ever so slightly, "And what would that be Mr Evans?"

I smiled as I slightly bent down and held her hand, "You need to start calling me Christopher."

Visibly flustered, my angel looked down at her feet. "I-I can't Mr Evans," she said in a low voice.

"Why can't you?"

"I respect you too much sir," she confessed.

"Hey," I gently nudged her forehead with mine, "I want you to say my name. Please?"

I stared into her eyes as she met mine. God.

There was something about her eyes that was absolutely riveting. The depth of her eyes pulled me in towards her as I read the plethora of emotions hidden within them. Her gaze searched my face for malice, deceit, but only found love and trust in return.

I slowly cupped her face as her breath hitched in her chest. I could feel my own heart race. Bringing my face as close as I could to hers, I whispered, the distance between our lips fast closing, "Please."

She parted her lips ever so slightly. I felt her warm breath on mine as she obliged, "Christopher."

I closed my eyes as I heard the most melodious symphony, my name draped in her sweet voice.

I dipped my head to kiss her, feel the shape of her lips, but she stepped back.

"I-I am st-still engaged Chris-Christopher," she stammered.

I straightened myself, my hands no longer cupping her face, "I understand. I am sorry. Would you like-"

Before I could finish, a car honked outside. While I was curious at the intrusion, her eyes widened with fear.

"That's him," she gasped, "Aiden is here. He found me."

"How is that possible?"

"He has a location app installed on my phone through which he tracks my location," she revealed, visibly shaking at the thought of greeting her fiancé.

"Stay here. You will be safe inside. Let me handle him," I said, squeezing her shoulders.

I walked out of the house and towards the car. The vehicle didn't look in good shape, it's owner even more so.

Aiden manually rolled down his window and spat on the ground. Fumes of cheep alcohol and stale cigarette smoke escaped through the window. "Where is she?" he hollered.

"That's not your concern anymore. She's breaking up with you," I crossed my arms and stood facing him. "If you know what's good for you, you will leave her alone and stay out of her life."

Aiden exited the car at that threat, the door of the vehicle rattled as he opened it. "She said that?" he scoffed, "Color me surprised, I thought the little mouse had no fight left in her. Bring her out here. I want to hear," he wriggled a finger at me, "whatever the fuck you are saying from her own fucking mouth."

"Not going to happen Aiden. You followed her here against her own wishes. Now scoot off before I call the cops," I warned.

"You think I will be scared of some Hollywood prick who shits diamonds?" he sneered.

"No. But you should be scared of the law. You are currently harassing the owner of this private property, not to mention you have clearly abused your girlfriend mentally, emotionally and physically. So be sensible," I took a step towards him, "and fuck off."

"STOP," she shouted as she trusted towards us. She stood in front of me, as if to guard me from her monster of a fiancé, "Please don't hurt him. I will come with you. Just let him be," she pleaded with him as he smirked.

Before he could react, I pulled her behind me, making sure my body was shielding her from Aiden.

"She's a gold-digging bitch. You stay away from her," he pointed at me as he tried to reach her.

I pushed him away once and kept my hand on his weak, thin torso. Turning my head, I asked her for the last time, "Are you sure you want to go with him? I can save you. I will protect you, provide for you and keep you happy!" I urged her.

She looked at me with hope and helplessness. Slowly, she glanced at Aiden who looked like he was ready to commit murder. Sobbing uncontrollably, she removed the chain with the sunflower locket and threw it at his feet.

"Leave me alone," she managed to mumble at him.

Furious, Aiden growled and tried to pounce at her. Fortunately, I intervened on time and punched his sorry excuse of a face into the ground.

She gasped as Aiden fell with a thud. Embarrassed, he slowly got up and dusted himself, muttering under his breath as he sat inside his wreck of a car.

"Don't bother coming back to gather your stuff! I am burning it all tonight you cock-sucking bitch!" and with that outburst, Aiden was finally gone.

She was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably at what had just transpired. I wrapped her in my arms to let her know she was safe. Within moments, I felt her ease into my body.

I closed my eyes and smiled, my nose buried into her hair. My angel was safe. My angel was mine.

Chris blinked his eyes as he re-read his story. He already felt a whole lot lighter, his anxiety at ease, and mind exhausted. Clicking on SAVE, he finished the last of his beer and went to sleep, hoping that this was the end to his problems. Little did he know about the horrors that awaited him, behind the door he had just opened by writing that fictional story.

__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__

Permanent tag: @donutloverxo

Chris Evans and his characters taglist: @onetwo3000

This story: @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @carpediemm-18

(If you guys don't want to be tagged in this, just let me know. No hard feelings 😊)

Taglists are open! Just comment, send an ask or a message!

#ShamelessHoesForChris #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #chrisevans #chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #dark!chris evans #chris evans rpf

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sleekervae · 4 years ago

Text

The Neighbour [0.4]

Masterlist

The first thing Eva did when she came home was finish downloading the rest of Palaye Royale's discography. It was as though pushing the arrow on the saturation scale and suddenly her apartment with skeleton white walls and empty shadows was bursting with a new variety of rich colors. Songs that pulled back the whites in her eyes and forced open her ears to this new euphoria that was rattling through her brain and body like a pinball game.

The band's music drifted through the apartment for the rest of the night, tracks on a loop that was sure to make the tenants upstairs despise her. By the time she finished cooking dinner for herself she was lost in the cynical poetry of Warhol, entranced by the echoing of Remington's rasping screams that were never out of tune. And while she was supposed to be working on her latest article, Eva was instead watching the video for Lonely, the entire time feeling like her throat had been ripped out by a bare fist and forced to watch it beat out.

All in all, Dying in a Hot Tub took the crown for favorite. On a Saturday night, when she would usually be out with friends and drinking her problems away at the local bar, Eva was dancing through her apartment, pretending to sing along to the miserable and comprehensive words. A glass of cheap white wine sat on the counter, aiding in her inhibitions for having a rock concert in her living room. Pluto wasn't having any of it, retreating to his bed and ignoring her for most of the night.

Meanwhile, holed up in his own bedroom Remington scrolled through the Tumblr blog that Eva told him about: posts filled with poetry and proses that had him hooked as sure as he was doing drugs. Each post told a story, ranging from questions about her femininity, difficulties in growing up with an absent mother and a know-it-all dad, the first boy she had who humped and dumped her after prom. Remington wanted to read it all, falling deeper into the rabbit hole of Eva Kuznetsov.

His focus shifted from text to music when he heard a familiar sound: that sound being his own voice. The faint echo of words he was singing to crowds not months ago were suddenly swirling in the air, and when he turned to the complex, he found he had a clear view of Eva dancing away under the golden lights of her apartment. She had the screen door opened, not big enough for Pluto to squeeze through, but enough so he could hear the muffled music from his room. He knew he had pretty open access to Eva; he just didn't realize that he could see right into her space.

Which meant she could probably see into his room, too...

It was mesmerizing to watch her, spinning, jumping, her hair pirouetting around the sharp edges of her perfect jaw, all the while smiling and pretending to sing along. It was the most endearing thing Remington had seen in a long time, watching the real Eva come to life. She was uninhibited by people and impressions, dressed down in a pair of little cotton shorts and her hoodie, she was absolutely crazy and perfect.

Mischief soon got the better of Remington and he reached for his phone, eagerly selecting her number and typing. Across the way, Eva stopped dancing when the music dipped, indicating that she received a text on her phone. Brushing her winded hair out of her face, she grabbed her phone off the desk, her face going beet red when she was Remington's text:

Nice dance moves, Frances Houseman

She glanced up through the glass sliding door, mortified when she realized Remington could see her this whole time. Illuminated by the glow of the street lamp, his boyish smile seemed to shine brighter, clearly amused with this late-night entertainment. She took a deep breath and turned down the volume of the music, trying to collect herself.

How much of that did you see?

He responded not even ten seconds later:

Enough to know your hips clearly don't lie.

Shut up

And if I may ask, why are you looking through my window?

I can't help it. I'm vain enough that I get distracted by my own damn voice

Or you're just a fucking creeper

The fact that you haven't closed the curtain tells me you don't seem to mind an audience ;)

A familiar warmth spread through the pit of her stomach and Eva began to giggle uncontrollably; like a child that had been caught stealing a cookie from the jar and was so on edge she couldn't help but laugh. Stupid her for not closing the curtain.

Well I'm sorry, but the show is over now

She then went to the window to close the curtain, flipping off the smirking blonde as she shut out the rest of the world. Remington only laughed to himself, quickly texting back:

But the memories will live on in my brain

Fuck you, Leith!!

I think you should buy me a drink first, Kuznetsov

Eva just shook her head as she read his last message, downing the rest of her wine with a rose-tinted cheeks. Even with the music off, she still had Remington's soft raspy voice ringing in her head as she decided it was time to turn in. She couldn't help but start singing to herself.

"But I'm dying in a hot tub, I'm dying in a hot tub with my cat!" she lunged down and pointed both hands at Pluto. Pluto was unfazed, just staring at her with an unemotive expression. Eva's smile turned into a scowl.

"Well, fuck you too, then,"

✧✧✧

May brought the promise of vibrant flowers, bikini bodies and so many reasons for people to go out and mingle with their friends at the beaches and clubs.

Well... that was the case a year ago...

In Remington's mind, he and his friends had no need to go down to the beach and risk contracting Covid when he had a perfectly safe and clean pool and patio in his backyard. And within the last two and some weeks, he had succeeded in bringing Eva around more and more.

She got along great with everybody, which had Remington confused as to why she said she had it rough with friends. But everybody seemed to like her, and soon enough she had assimilated into their little pod. She started just with sitting outside with everyone, and when she was comfortable enough she came and hung out inside the house. Afternoons were either spent by the pool or watching TV shows and eating snacks. And the more she stayed over, the more Remington became fascinated with her.

Even Emerson and Sebastian couldn't deny that there was something about Eva that was unique; she was sparkplug of quick witticisms and lame jokes that people would laugh at just because she was so cute. She was mature way beyond her years, and yet she still had fun like a teenager trying to find themselves in high school. More than anything, the boys were curious to how close Eva and Remington were slowly becoming.

Remington liked hanging out in Eva's apartment. The environment held a different kind of vibe; like an aesthetic post you'd tag on Pinterest under a renovations gallery. But Remington was inside Eva's world, seeing the random art pieces she had hung on the walls and getting to hang with Pluto on the couch. He helped her bake when they couldn't think of anything else to do, and she always insisted he'd bring some home even when he assured her that he didn't need it. She was kind, homely, a woman with a clean soul and dirty mind who could make him laugh and didn't care when he openly belched after a soda.

Despite the pandemic, Remington was excited for his birthday. Any other time, he was at a bar or a house party with his friends, drinking until he couldn't feel his legs or ending up face-deep in a grimy toilet bowl. Even though the party wouldn't be as fun as it usually would be, Remington was looking forward to at least spend his birthday with his closest family and friends, only.

Eva wished she could have had the same optimism Remington did, but the Saturday before his birthday, she was none too pleased to find that the drain to her kitchen sink was leaking water. And apparently, it wasn't her landlord's job to come up and fix it for her.

"You want me to come take a crack at it?" Remington asked when Eva explained the situation.

Eva's phone was on speaker as she tried to navigate the utility box in the closet to turn off her water.

"Do you have experience in sink maintenance?" she asked.

"I don't," Remington admitted, "But that's what Youtube is for, right?"

Eva simpered, "As entertaining as it would be watch you destroy my sink, I respectfully decline,"

"You think too low of me, Eva," he whined.

"I just know you better than you think, Remington," she replied smartly, "I got a plumber coming by, anyway. And he can't get here 'til six for some reason so I'll be down a shower day,"

Remington's eyebrows furrowed down, "He's coming at six at night?" he asked.

"Yeah," Eva replied, seemingly clueless to the skepticism in his voice.

"What plumber makes house calls after five o'clock?" he said.

Eva stopped short, "Well, he's an independant freelancer. Makes his own hours, I guess,"

"You hired a fucking freelancer to come fix your sink?" he said incredulously.

"He's what I can afford," she replied.

"So he didn't come from an agency?"

"Nope!" Eva huffed, satisfied when she finally figured out how to turn off the water dial, "He came from Letgo,"

It was then Remington had a sinking feeling in his gut. He didn't blame Eva that she didn't want to splurge her money on a plumber, but the thought of her alone with a strange man -- who mostly carried a multitude of heavy tools -- made his hair stand on end.

"Maybe I'll come by and wait with you while he does the job," he said.

"Why?" Eva asked.

"Because you're a small girl letting a strange man into your apartment after hours," he replied.

Eva turned to her window, still having a firm view of Remington's empty, but messy bedroom, "You were a strange guy I let into my apartment," she countered.

"And now you have concrete proof that I'm not a creep, I'm just a little weirdo," he replied, "I'd just feel better being there with you, is all,"

Eva shrugged, understanding where he was coming from yet assuring herself that he was overthinking it, "I mean, if you wanna'... sure,"

"Great!" Remington grinned, "I'll be by before six,"

The early afternoon soon delved into the night, and just as he promised, Remington was at Eva's apartment ten minutes before six.

And the plumber was late.

Eva attributed it to traffic when the clock hit ten after, but then she was annoyed by twenty after. What was he possibly doing that he was twenty minutes late for a pay grab? Remington didn't say anything, though the knot in his stomach got tighter as the minutes ticked by. And when Eva assured him that he didn't need to stay, he simply shook his head and declined.

"The only way you're getting me out of this apartment is with a fucking pitchfork," he told her, smirking with pride. Eva only rolled her eyes.

It was finally quarter to seven when a battered, unlabelled black pickup truck pulled up in front of the complex. And just as Remington feared, a rather large man came falling out of the truck and started trudging his way inside. He carried no tools with him.

Both Remington and Eva had their masks on and the windows open as the plumber came inside. He was portly, older, and he wore the mask just under his nose; a particular pet peeve of Eva's. He was polite as he greeted the kids, narrowing his eyes at Remington. The whole time he was there, Remington made sure to keep Eva close to him.

"So, what seems to be the trouble?" the plumber asked, coming over to the sink but looking around slowly at the knick knacks and furniture within the apartment.

"Well, I'm not sure. It just started leaking all of the sudden," Eva shrugged.

The plumber glanced at the faucet, then took a look under the counter to the pipes. Eva began to understand why Remington was so eager to come over, now. He stayed well on his knees for longer than needed, not pulling out a flashlight to see in the dark shadows. Even Pluto seemed to sense something was off about this character, he leapt onto the top of the couch where he had a full vantage point of the typical case of plumber's crack.

The plumber finally sat back from his inspection, turning to the two kids, "I see what the problem is. I gotta' get my other tools from my truck, though," he said.

Eva and Remington glanced at each other with uncertainty, "... Okay," she drawled, "We'll, um -- we'll be here, I guess,"

"Okay," he forced himself back on his feet and exited out the door.

Not two seconds later, Remington heard the faint carry of voices in the hallways; a couple by the sounds of it. He took a look into the hall, indeed finding a pair of Eva's neighbours unlocking their door as the door to the stairwell slammed closed.

A few minutes passed, but Eva was confused when she heard the revving of an engine outside. She went to go look out her window, and sure enough, the black pickup truck was speeding away. Needless to say, she was shocked.

"What the fuck!?" she exclaimed, "He left!"

Remington came to look as well, not surprised but his fears quelled as he watched the truck disappear around the corner.

"Good," he said, "Truth be told, I'm pretty sure he wasn't here to fix the sink,"

Eva pulled her face mask off, "What, you think he wanted to rob me?" she asked.

"Or something a little more vile," Remington nodded, simultaneously pulling off his own mask, "He clearly didn't like the fact that I was here,"

Eva's face paled for a moment, now grateful she had let Remington in when he asked. How did he know, though?

"How did you know he wasn't legit?" she asked.

Remington scrunched his nose, "Well, first of all he's coming by at six -- well, seven o'clock on a weekend. Second of all, you found him on Letgo,"

Eva shrugged, "I don't trust Craigslist,"

"Because Letgo is any more reliable?" he raised his eyebrows with a petty grin, "This is the part where you say 'thank you for looking out for me, Remington',"

Eva narrowed her eyes at him, "Thanks for coming by, ya' smug shit," she glanced out the window again, "You think he's going to come back?"

"Not now that he thinks I'm here, too," Remington replied, "Like I'd leave my girlfriend alone with a strange guy at seven at night. In a fucking pandemic, too," he scoffed.

Eva looked at him quizzically, "... I'm not your girlfriend," she drawled.

"But he doesn't have to know that," he grinned back.

Eva had to admit, she was impressed. And moreover, quite grateful for Remington's persistence -- though she wouldn't tell him that.

"Aw, I have such a smart boyfriend!" she gushed sarcastically, clasping her hands together before going to fetch her Lysol spray.

Remington simply sat back down on the couch, feeling pretty damn good about himself now, "Anything for my baby!" he exclaimed happily.

"Shut up,"

#palaye royale #Palaye Royale imagine #Palaye Royale fic #remington leith #Remington Leith imagine #emerson barrett #sebastian danzig #boy bands #band imagines #band blog #band imagine blog #original story #original female character

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peeterparkr · 5 years ago

Text

limits of desire⤳t.h.||17

chapter 17: tying the knot.

story summary: you met Tom a night he was trying to sleep with you, it didn’t work and you became best of friends. Wedding bells might be ringing for when you both realize what you really feel.

summary: the one with the headlines

pairing: fuckboy!tom holland x best friend!reader

warnings: swearing, angsty ish, lizzie, angsty, didn’t proof read

word count: 4.5k

songs i recommend listening while reading:

Falling-Harry Styles

Before You Go-Lewis Capaldi

Stone Cold-Demi Lovato

Wrong Direction-Hailee Steinfeld

Unsteady--X Ambassadors

Instead-Blake McGrath

apple music playlist

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

“SpiderMan actor Tom Holland swings to try and stop a wedding.”

“Tom Holland pulls a rom-com stunt this time.”

“Seems like not even Spiderman can swing himself out of a rejection.”

“Tom Holland is horribly rejected as he tried to stop his best friend’s wedding.”

“This girl lived the dream and DARED to reject Tom Holland as he stopped her wedding to tell her he loved her.”

“Who is y/n y/l/n? Everything you need to know about the girl who rejected Tom Holland.”

Buzzfeed quiz: Who are you from the video of the girl who rejected Tom Holland?

Haz was such a real mood but the girl with the red dress was all of us.

Youtube: Trending: Tom Holland stops a wedding and gets rejected.

Twitter: Trending #Y/NWTF Tom Holland

Chaos. Tom’s name was known around the world, that’s for sure. But right now, his name was besides headlines that were not so pleasing. He didn’t know. But the whole world had seen Tom Holland pull a stunt which he was probably not proud of.

It was everywhere.

Everyone was talking about it. And y/n had been attacked several times. Everyone in the fandom had turned around to hate y/n. And she had disappeared, on every single social media. Could anyone blame her? Nobody knew anything about her. Had she married Miguel? Did she look up for Tom?

Why had she dared to reject Tom Holland? That was the big question. Because, of course, who in their right mind dares to reject him?

And seemed like everybody had an opinion about it. And it had been only hours from it and the headlines had started. But now it’d been days. And Tom didn’t know about the chaos.

Tom had been quiet. None of his friends had asked him about it, because they knew that this was the hardest thing he’d ever gone through. He hadn’t checked his phone once.

He hadn’t done anything. His brothers had to pack up for him and they had helped him at the airport. They were back in London. They had been for a few days now.

All of them were watching him stare blankly at the window. He didn’t say any single word. They didn’t push him. How could they, though?

It was a miracle that Tom was still able to walk and breathe.

What they didn’t know was that Tom was going over the conversations he had had with y/n on the night before, wondering if there was any kind of hint that revealed her sudden harsh and stupid decision.

He thought he should’ve stayed at the restaurant. He shouldn’t have gone to the wedding. Because y/n never liked any stunt. She never liked the spotlight, she liked to disappear, she liked to be invisible. And he had put her right on the spotlight. Maybe that was the mistake. Or did she really not want him?

Was she now happily married to Miguel? Was she on her way to her honeymoon?

They didn’t know what had happened after they had left, at least Tom didn’t. He knew, however, that they had probably updated Haz or Tuwaine of the situation. And if they hadn’t told him anything, y/n was probably married by now. And he didn’t know anything about the headlines, yet.

Tom wondered what he had done wrong.

“Would it be too bad?” Y/N had asked. “If I asked to spend little time with you, or a lot of time with you.”

“I’m sure Miguel wouldn’t like that.”

She frowned. “I never said anything about him.”

“It’s implied,” Tom sighed.

“But would you?”

“What?”

“Would you like it if I asked you to spend time with me?”

Tom looked at her. “Maybe.”

“You know Tom, I’m very inexperienced at all this love thing, that’s why I tend to do mistakes, but I know deep inside—“

“That Miguel isn’t one?”

She stayed quiet. “I just can’t afford being broken. I don’t think my heart could handle that much, but then again—”

“With me?”

“With you, I’m at risk, Tom. I know it, that’s how it’d go, me fearing for yet another rejection,” she sighed. “And besides, your crazy life is…”

“You’ve handled it before,” Tom said.

“Everyone in the world knows who you are,” she said. “And I’m someone who barely has any spotlight. Maybe that could make us work, I wouldn’t steal your thunder.”

But Tom wondered why she thought she was nothing, after all, he was perfectly aware that everyone in the room would stop to stare whenever she walked in. He knew that she needed just one smile to make anybody fall in love with her. He knew everybody leaned over to listen to her whispers because everybody wanted to listen.

Y/N had something very powerful, something that made her special. The only problem was she didn’t see it, she never saw it. She was always putting everyone else before her.

“You always have the spotlight,” he said. “At least to me.”

“Ah, cut off the cheesy statements,” she chuckled. “But would you stay?”

“I don’t—I don’t think I could,” he admitted.

“My heart couldn’t handle it,” she said. “I know it, seeing you everywhere. Pictures here, and there. Movies. Songs.”

“Songs?”

“Would it be too cheesy to say every song might remind me of you?” She wondered. “Would it be too cheesy if I said that the moon wouldn’t be as bright?”

“It would be too cheesy….” He laughed.

“But?”

“But then again, I know you’re telling the truth.”

She looked at him. “Then I think about it, if I were to choose you.”

“You won’t.”

“You’re very clear on that,” she frowned.

“I don’t want you to, I know I’m a big handful of trouble,” Tom said.

She laughed. “We’ve been friends for a while now, I know that, and I didn’t mind.”

He watched her.

“What if we disappeared?” She asked. “I love doing that. Being invisible.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“And with me, you can’t be invisible, that’s another reason why you won’t choose me,” he pushed.

“We are invisible tonight,” she stared at him.

“Are we, really? We’re at risk right now.”

“The thing is, I love risk,” she said.

“I want you to be happy, y/n.”

She looked at him. “It’s funny you say that, everybody keeps on saying that. Even Miguel. But nobody knows what would make me happy.”

“What would?”

“Not having this mess, for starters,” she shrugged. “But right now it doesn’t matter.”

“Y/N.”

“We said we only had tonight, right?”

“Right.”

She stared at him. “Really, Tom, would it be a sin if I asked you to be my tomorrow, too?”

Tom bit his lip. “You wouldn’t.”

She didn’t say anything.

“I miss thinking my feelings were one sided,” she admitted.

“What?” He chuckled, confused.

“Everything was less complicated back then,” she added.

Tom smiled. “I thought my feelings were one sided too,” he admitted.

“What?” She sat up. “Oh my god, really? You never saw it?”

Tom shook his head. “That’s why I backed away! I mean—“

“You’re always oblivious,” she nodded, “but I didn’t think you were that naive…”

Tom blushed. “I’m stupid.”

“Okay, when—at Andrew’s wedding,” she started, as she was mapping her thoughts. “Alright, there,” she looked at him whimsically. “What—what did you think happened before you knew—all this?”

Tom had to sit up to rub his face. “I thought you were—I thought you were—I don’t know,” he bit his lip, “I was confused, because the girl I loved was—first saying everything she was saying,” he smiled, “You know, the vows… and when we danced I got lost—gosh this is going to sound cheesy—“

She chuckled, “go on, I don’t care how cheesy, I bet I’ve said cheesier stuff.”

“I got lost in your eyes,” Tom admitted embarrassed. “And—I didn’t understand why you left,” he sighed. “I guess that was the first time I understood that you were… afraid of me? I realized you had this idea of me that couldn’t be changed.”

Y/N shook her head. “That’s not true.”

“Do you believe I’ve changed?” Tom asked.

“Well, have you?” She frowned.

Tom blinked.

“Think about it, Tom, I asked you to be my tomorrow but you’re only asking for one night,” she whispered.

“But it’s different?”

“Then why do I feel the same way I felt when I was on the bridge?”

Tom sighed. “This is different, y/n.”

“I don’t know, Tom, it’s just me again, a girl asking a boy to love her,” she shrugged. “I’m not asking more.”

“But I love you, already,” Tom snapped. “You’re asking me to be there.”

She nodded and then placed a kiss on his cheek. “Just think about it.”

Tom knew y/n. And she had been so reluctant on it. Maybe he should’ve escaped when she offered it. But what he couldn’t map was the way she had decided to marry Miguel anyway. Maybe Lizzie had been right. He should’ve gotten earlier, maybe he had shown his true nature.

Tom walked around his place the first days, sweatshirt and sweatpants. His diet had consisted of beers,crisps, chocolate milkshakes, and chocolate cake. He had once ordered a strawberry shortcake once, too.

He had turned off his phone and had binge-watched all three Iron Man films, all Shrek films and he had watched even that Julia Roberts film, My Best Friend’s Wedding because he hated himself.

But eventually ended up shielding on video games, and a pair of headphones to push himself out of reality.

“Tom,” Haz brought him back to reality. As Haz was taking off the headphones.

He looked up, and stared at his best friend, the twins and Tuwaine were there, too. But the other figure was the one who shocked him. Lizzie. Fucking Lizzie. And Tom lost it.

“I think… we should talk,” Haz said.

Tom shrugged and turned back to the game. “Why do you guys call her every time something fucking happens?”

“Tom,” Tuwaine pushed. Tom ignored him. “Tom!”

“Man cmon!” Harry yelled. “You’ve got to cut the bullshit!”

Tom scowled as he stood up and stormed off the room. “Oh fuck, sorry! Did you guys expect me to be fine?” He snapped. “Sorry if I’m not cheerful! I bloody can’t be! Are you happy, Liz?”

“We know!” Haz yelled.

“Tom this isn’t about your feelings right now,” Lizzie snapped.

“Oh sorry if I have the spotlight right now, I really don’t want to—“

Harrison rolled his eyes. “But you have to get your shit together man.”

“Can’t I bloody have some time? It’s very recent you know? And I can’t simply just forget about it! I…” He took a deep breath. “I’m no one right now, alright? I just bloody want to have some time to think about it, but my thoughts, fuck, my thoughts are drowing me, alright? I don’t feel alright, because I feel like…. It’s all on me and maybe, I realized it,” he continued as he ran a hand through his hair. “I realized it, alright? I… I’m simply someone who she doesn’t want to be around anymore, I caused her too much pain and that’s why she left, and that’s why she got engaged because it was a perfect way to get rid off of me. Maybe I shouldn’t have done anything. You knew that, didn’t you, Lizzie?”

“I didn’t know she would-”

“It’s bloody killing me, I’m not… I could’ve let her be, but I was selfish enough to consider my own bloody feelings first, just like I am right now, I guess, becuase that’s all you fucking think I am, right? A fucking arrogant son of a bitch! And she’ll have that memory of me, ruining it for her. And I don’t blame her, I can’t even control my thoughts anymore, I can’t stand myself. I can’t blame her, I showed her who I was for four bloody years and then I try to change for her. And now, I lost her. Now I lost her because I was stupid and because she’s too bloody stubborn and because she ended up doing what she was supposed to do, because that’s who she is. She does the right thing.”

“Tom…” Sam started.

“And I was too fucking selfish, I saw that she was going to be at her best, I saw it in those bloody pictures, and I can’t believe I… I don’t know, and I blame her, too. But I’ll miss her, god, I’m going to fucking miss her. Even if I’m angry right now, because I have the right to be angry, but…. But, but she did ask me to run away, and I should’ve run away with her. But why say all that if she was going to… I mean, why did she have to lead me on and then go and marry him? I just don’t fucking get it, you know? She’s full of shit, sometimes, can’t bloody make up her fucking mind. And you know what? She’s such a pain in the ass, you can tell her that, Lizzie, tell her that I, too, won’t stand her anymore, is that what you came here for? Or are you going to fucking tell me to keep fighting for her? Are you? Because look where all that led us, Liz! Maybe…” He scoffed. “Maybe this was all your bloody revenge for everything I did to you, and I’m fucking sorry, alright? Right now I can’t… I can’t hate, and I cant’ blame anyone but me, because this was all my fault. And I don’t want to… I can’t even listen to my thoughts anymore…Because all they’re saying is she deserved better, but did she? She’s just as fucking lost as I am,” Tom was defeated. “But that won’t make me love her any less. And deep down I know I don’t mean any bloody word I’m saying, because… I… We fucked it up.”

Harry sighed, as he approached his brother, he hugged him.

Tom sighed. “But I don’t want any of your pity, alright? And you, Lizzie,” he looked at her. “I don’t, I’m sorry for everything I did to you, to anyone, alright? I got my karma.”

Sam stared at Haz and Tuwaine. “Maybe we should…. Wait,” he told him.

“Yeah,” Tom walked off. “Wait until I feel bloody better, a few months, at least.”

Tuwaine clicked his tongue. “We know you’re not okay but you need to know this.

“What? That she got married?” Tom asked. “Is that what you’re bloody trying to tell me? Man, this is all rubbish.”

Lizzie looked away.

“Is she on her honeymoon?” Tom asked angrily.

“I won’t tell you anything,” Lizzie shrugged.

“Oh, now you guys won’t tell me,” Tom laughed.

“Tom, they leaked the video,” Sam finally told him.

Tom frowned. “What video?”

“Oh, you know, someone at the wedding filmed when you fucking interrupted it and now it’s everywhere!” Harry explained. “Everywhere.”

Tom felt like all the blood on his body had disappeared. He had to sit back down. This was a problem. A big one. He slowly walked back to the sofa, as he sat back down.

He closed his eyes, as he made a long pause. Taking a big breath. “How bad is it?” He asked.

“Very,” Harry answered.

Tom bit his lip. “Can I… see it?” Though he didn’t know if he wanted to remember it. He didn’t have the strength to see the stupid thing he’d done before.

Harry nodded as he showed the video to Tom. Tom felt a dagger through his chest as he watched the pathetic proposal he’d made and he saw her, too. There was pain in her eyes, and she looked tired, too. She didn’t look happy as she should’ve been.

“This is the end of my career,” Tom whispered.

Lizzie crossed her arms. “You’re not the bad guy here.”

Tom looked up, with realization as to why Lizzie was there.

“Oh,” he took a deep breath. “How… how is she?

“She’s the bitch who turned down Spiderman,” Lizzie said. “How do you think she’s doing?”

“Shit,” Tom bit his lip and closed his eyes again. “I…” He was worried about her, because he knew she’d be attacked.

“Yeah, she’s been called all things, and she had to delete all her social media,” Lizzie explained. “Maybe she was a bitch, very big bitch for doing that, for sure but this is the worst punishment.”

Tom stood up. “Where’s… where’s my phone?” Tom asked as Harry handed it over. “Oh my god, this is…” Tom started to scroll through the chaos, and he saw it, people commenting on his picutres, and people calling him out. He went to twitter and everything was hating on y/n, and other people making fun of him.

But he knew this was worse for her, this was people telling her horrible things.

Tom had to get his mind out of this.

“Where is she?” Tom asked Lizzie.

Lizzie looked away.

Tom took a deep breath. “Did she…”

“Look, Tom,” Lizzie sighed. “She’s not doing as good either, she’s just as broken as you are right now, but add to all of this that she’s dealing with hate.”

Harry sighed. “And well…”

“Your agent called,” Haz explained. “She suggested you should first speak up on instagram, for yourself.”

“No, no, no,” Tom frowned. “First… I have to say something about her.”

“She suggested a press conference,” Harry said.

“And mum and dad agreed,” Sam continued. “It would clear up everything.”

Tom took a deep breath.

“First, you’re going to post a statement, which we’ve… Been writing together, and you just have to give it a check,” Harry continued.

Tuwaine nodded. “Yeah, it’s…. An initial statement.”

Tom stood up, stressed. If this were bad, now they were even worse.

“Should I call y/n and apologize?” Asked Tom to Lizzie.

She shook her head. “Tom… I…No, you’re not okay, you need to heal, and… honestly, with everything, I think it would be like pouring salt on her own wounds.”

Tom clenched his jaw and looked away. “Fuck, right.”

“The headlines have been awful,” Haz said. “It’s…. Been.”

“Why the fuck haven’t you guys told me?” Asked Tom, angrily.

Tuwaine frowned. “You’re seriously asking that? Have you seen yourself?”

“You’ve been ignoring us all, we’ve tried to, fuck, we all been trying to talk to you, but you’ve pushed us all way,” Harrison raised his voice.

“And we get it, alright?” Harry said. “But really, it’s time you…”

Tom shook his head, standing up, pacing around the room.”Right, sorry, sorry,” he sat down again. “I need…” He stood up again, and headed to the fridge, he pulled out a beer. “Alright, okay.”

“Here’s the statement,” Sam said, handing him the phone over.

Tom read it, and started to change and correct a few details, to be more him, to really apologise to y/n.

“In the past few days, a video of me has surfaced on the web. While I assume full responsibility for my actions, I would like to clarify that my decision was made abruptly and without any previous thoughts, and it was a big mistake to pull a stunt like that. I do not encourage my behaviour, and I would like to first, apologize to y/n, who has been a great friend to me for the past years and who does not deserve any of the hatred coming her way. I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I may have caused her and anyone who's close to me and who’s been affected by the situation. This was a stupid and momentary decision, and she had all the right to say no, and I’m extremely sorry that it has jeopardized the relationship I had with the person I loved and respected the most, Y/N. It’s no secret I love her and I care deeply for her as my best friend, and I truly can’t begin to word my apology to her. I ask from the bottom of my heart that you guys stop harassing her and give her all the necessary respect and privacy. While I know the situation can’t be undone, and I know it shall not be forgotten, I do ask discretion.

I’m sorry, Tom.”

It felt sincere, in a way. It was simple, it was fine.

And he meant it, but what he truly wanted to say was: “I don’t regret doing it because she was worth doing it, and I wish she’d said yes. And I hope I could turn back time so I could take us out of this mess.”

He sat down again.

“This… this is too much,” Tom said before posting the screenshot of the statements to his social media. “Okay, now when’s the…”Tom rubbed his face. “The press conference?”

Harry watched him. “Two days.”

Tom took a deep breath. “Alright… I’ll call my agent to see what I’m supposed to say and…” Tom looked up. “This is too big of a mess.”

Lizzie sighed. “I’m… very sorry, Tom,” she admitted.

Tom looked up. “What for?”

“I feel like this is partly my fault, I thought she—“Lizzie started and watched as they boys left the room.

“We all did,” Tom interrupted her. “I hope she’s happy.”

Lizzie nodded. “I’m sorry for coming over here and… reminding you about it,” she said. “I really didn’t want any of this to happen.”

“Nobody did.”

“But if there’s anything I can help with—“

“You didn’t just come here to solve this mess, I know,” Tom said. “How… how is she?”

Lizzie shrugged. “Not good.”

Tom looked around. “Should I—“

Lizzie watched him.

“I feel like calling her wouldn’t be right,” he admitted. “But there’s a part of me that wants to tell her that I’m deeply sorry for all the pain that I’ve caused her,” Tom continued. “I—You know, maybe I should write her something, but she’s always been the writer,” Tom sighed. “I—I” Tom looked around. “There was a part of me that…” he took a deep breath. “Come here,” he said and lead the way to his room. This was such a different experience from the last time he’d asked Lizzie to come to his room. This was so cold. She followed after him. When they arrived, Tom searched through his drawers and pulled out a blue box.

Lizzie looked at him as she looked around the room, it was a big mess. Toblerone wraps everywhere, books hanging around. Messy and dirty clothes hanging all over the place, his AirPods on his bed. The curtains were pulled down.

“Maybe I should give this to her, but—“Tom took a big pause as he stared at the Tiffany box. “This was always meant for her,” Tom shook his head. “It’s—complicated. I guess… I should send her all her stuff back, but maybe she doesn’t want it back… I still have her copy of the first Harry Potter book hanging around, maybe I could gather up all her stuff and give it to you so you can give it to her…. or… I don’t even know if she’d want it back… and I don’t know if I want to give it back,” Tom sighed. “I just—feel like this was all too sudden, you know? We had a lot of dreams, she had a lot of plans and now it’s all… gone, you know?” Tom not his lip. “I—I’m not okay,” he admitted.

Lizzie carefully sat down beside him, listening.

“I know where it all went wrong,” Tom continued. “We should’ve run away together,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “I guess we were meant to fall apart, but I—even if it hurts and even though I’m still angry and I still need time to heal, I truly want her to be happy.”

Lizzie took his hand and squeezed it.

“What will be of her dreams? Will she continue to be a journalist?” He scoffed. “As if I hadn’t ruined her reputation…” he bit his lip. “I know she wanted to be a reporter, and—what about her book? Or her poetry?” Tom asked. “Will Miguel take care of that?” He shook his head. “I just want to make sure that if she chose him, that if she chose him… she is happy.”

Lizzie nodded. “He wouldn’t be able to make her happy.”

Tom shrugged. “He shall, she chose him for a reason.”

Lizzie shook her head, and she chuckled. “It’s funny, isn’t it?”

Tom frowned.

“I was so blind,” she started. “I was one to hurt my best friend,” she said. “You and me are not so different, Tom, though you are more annoying, I—I think we both were too blind we were hurting y/n.”

Tom nodded..

“We both shielded on protecting her while we were hurting her,” she continued.

Tom watched her.

“But gosh, I really thought I would mend it by…” she shook her head. “Dunno, I thought I would mend it all by telling you to go and search for her.”

“Maybe I was too late,” Tom said. Tom looked away as he plopped to lay down on the bed, rubbing his eyes. “And me stopping the wedding like in a fucking chick flick would mean she’d have to choose me and that’s not—I get it,” he sighed.

“You don’t,” Lizzie chuckled dryly.

“You know what? Maybe it was too much, I know her, she doesn’t like any rom com stunts, I—I should’ve known better.”

“You’re right about that,” Lizzie declared. “Her meaning of love isn’t yelling it to the world, she’d never do that kind of stuff.”

Tom clicked his tongue. “Yeah I know,” Tom sighed, “for her love relies on the details.”

Lizzie nodded. “But that’s not the big lesson to learn here.”

Tom laughed cynically. “What is, then? Don’t try to stop a wedding until the last minute? Tell the people you love them when you have the chance?”

“Yeah, that too,” Lizzie agreed. “But I think most importantly, choose ourselves before anybody.”

Tom frowned.

Lizzie shrugged. “Dunno, but I know, that even if it hurt her seeing you, this was all for the best.”

Tom sighed. “Miguel was the right choice wasn’t it?”

Lizzie shook her head. “No.”

Tom scowled. “Then?”

“Y/N was the right choice,” she finally said.

“What do you mean?” Tom asked, confused.

“Y/N had to see this for herself,” she said. “We both know her, how she’s always choosing what everyone thinks she should choose.”

“Is that why she chose Miguel?”

Lizzie looked him in the eye. “Tom… she didn’t get married.”

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

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theblackbirdsgemimagines · 4 years ago

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May I request for the Leona, Vil, Azul and our boy Jack getting stuck in their MC's world and their experience? (MC is with them)

Oh sweet Jesus akdhakdhsk FORGIVE ME OF MY RATHER CYNICAL OUTLOOK ON OUR LIL BLUE PLANET 😬 I think it’s understandable to be more cynical than ever in this Hell Year, lolll

Send these poor, sweet babies back home, they deserve better than to be stuck here of all places 😅 ESPECIALLY JACK AAAAAA SAVE THE BABY 💔

Ok, not even going to play with you... Vil would thrive, lol.

Just give him time enough to stop panicking over all his lost clothes, magic, etc., and find new things that works for him and his detailed self-care routine, and whatever he chooses to do, he will make Fat Stacks in.

He’s the male version of Belle Delphine, here ajdhakdhsj

He appears anywhere, on tv with some company to continue his performer career he had back home, or on youtube/instagram, and he is almost immediately just as famous here as he was in Wonderland.

Can we really blame anyone, tho? Look at him.

And there’s no Neige here!

Also, ‘my’ Vil is definitely the one that knows there are many different ways to be beautiful~. He may be a bit more blunt to his friends if he thinks they’re not quite hitting the usual mark their talents place them in. But that’s only because he cares about them, and wants everyone to see their best, as he does~. He’s an absolutely encouraging sweetheart to anyone else/a beginner at whatever their passion is, though~. And either way, he’s your best cheerleader~.

Of course he still just doesn’t feel himself without his magic, or ability to do potions. I don’t think he’d find the witchcraft in our world would suit him very well.

If he was really stuck for good, of course he’d make the best of it. But if he could go home, especially if you wanted to go back with him, he’d jump at the chance. And always be on the lookout for the chance.

But that being said, I think, aside from all the world’s problems, of course, he’d find it interesting just how similar, and vastly different, things are here.

He donates Ass Loads to so many charities, like honestly.

Rich boy knows his privilege, and lets others ride off his advantages as much as he can. 💜

He becomes friends with James Charles. You know he does.

You can’t be truly fully beautiful if you’re not also lovely on the inside, too, after all~!

Rip Rook wherver he is, he is lost without his Queen 😔

Gosh, in direct contrast to Vil, Leona probably suffers the most over here?? Jahdkshdj

I know they based his sleep habits off a irl lion, but that also sounds just a Tad Bit like possible depression to me (along with a lot of the other ways he’s behaved so far, lol).

Get this sweetheart to some therapy, maybe?? Help him get a lil energy boost at least to help him feel better 💛

He’s going to HATE the work pace people have to maintain just to eat here, 100%.

He enjoys the entertainment the most, though~. Video games, things you can watch online, all those sorts of things~. Might like a few of our sports, too~.

Poor bby struggles with having to work, though, please help him 💔

At least he doesn’t have to live under being Forever Prince, here, and doesn’t have to worry about turning anything he touches to sand. And the lions in the zoos are pretty cool to go see~!

He’d probably love it if he could go to Africa and see what our “Afterglow Savannah” looks like here~. Meet the lions that are in the wild~.

I imagine he and Jack would both lose the ears for human ones, and the tails, too. (😢💔) So he probably feels weird seeing himself like that, and might miss his tail. Especially if it helped him with balance. Give him some time to adjust to it~. There’s these neat new tails people made for cosplay, that can move around on their own, if he’d like one to help him not miss his old one so much~!

I had to really think about what the heck he’d even do for a job, cause he’s so grumpy to everyone, retail’s just OUT, lol. And I don’t think he’d be that great at something like youtube, either ajdhsjjd

It’s hard for him to not just lay around all lazy, rather than think of stuff to do for it/actually get up and go do it. Let alone all the meetings, and interacting with fans, and the like.

So maybe actually being one of the zookeepers would be a good fit for him~. He’d be obligated to actually go, and he’d get to be around lots of different animals~. Might help him feel more at home, too~. I think he’d be pretty good at it, and the animals would probably be drawn to him~ 💛

He’d also absolutely challenge the authority here (or anywhere else that has appalling governments, especially if they’re not run by women). The state of things, and the way women and minorities are treated by white men around the world, and men in general, would absolutely appall him. He so drunk on that respecc women juice, he just can’t wrap his head around what the hell the problem is with those rich assholes in power. Put him in power, and he’ll ruthlessly show them what-for! ALL the others behind him would be women! Good grief, humans!

All in all, he doesn’t mind it here, but would also prefer to be home, where he can sleep more, and Ruggie can run around for him most of the time, lol

Besides, that allowed him to spend more time with you~! 💛

(LOOKIT THAT HAPPY BOY SMILE!!! I’M DEAD 💞💞💞)

Oh, Jack. Sweet, sweet Jack.

He absolutely becomes a personal trainer as a job, here. 1000%. He lives that Exercise Junkie Lifestyle, there’s just no doubt about it.

He’s VERY encouraging to his students, though~! Build up that beef, guys, he has total faith in you~! 🤍🤍

He absolutely loooooooves going anywhere to see wolves. He’d probably really love the wooded mountains in Europe, if you ended up there, or in Oregon/Washington if you ended up here in America~. Definitely Canada, or Alaska, too~! Just give him huge trees, snowy winters, and nearby mountains, and he feels right at home~.

Idk if he’d miss his magic a whole heck of a lot, tbh?? But he WOULD miss his friends and family! It’s just not quite the same here, though he thinks it’s beautiful and interesting to see where you came from~. 🤍

He’s a good boy 😭

Also appalled with the state of so many rulers and governings both in your home, and around most of the world, lol.

He can’t stand seeing so many people suffer like that! How can they possibly live the life that’s the most healthy and happy for them to live, disabled, chronically ill, or not, if they’re suffering under an iron fist all the time?!

He CAN’T stand for it. You won’t stop him till he sees good change starting to finally happen. Especially if you live here! There’s no way he can just sit around and have you be subjected to that!

HE’S A GOOD BOY 😭

You gotta calm him down a lot and remind him there are others just as good and kind as he is, fighting to change things too 🤍

God help people if he gets here anytime within 2020-2021. He’s sucker punching nearly everyone he sees without a mask.

He’s also sucker punching every nazi he sees, too.

My goodness, please show him the movie Wolf Children! He’ll hide the fact he’s crying multiple times through it, but it’s one of his favorite movies here~.

If you do manage to go back to Wonderland, please try to bring a copy of it with you. It’s the one thing he’ll miss most, and keep asking to watch with you again, before remembering it doesn’t exist there. 😭

He also misses his tail and ears a lot. Losing all of that + his senses would be very a very awkward adjustment for him, and he wouldn’t really like it poor bby 💔 Give him lots of hugs to compensate U-U 🤍

His favorite thing to do with you would probably be to go hiking, and stay in a little cabin in the woods, for a week or two~. Somewhere in one of the previously mentioned places~.

(I couldn’t find a chibi gif of Azul to use, rip 😭)

Azul is just straight up becoming a mafia boss, probably wkdhakdjjs.

He’s the ‘good’ kind, though. He’s learned his lesson since his overblot, and he won’t outright kill people for not paying him back, or introduce drugs, or anything like that.

He’ll help people obtain what they want as legally as possible... But that doesn’t mean he still won’t be sly as hell about it, haha~.

He’ll protect loyal/good customers and the areas they live in, too~. In fact, he’d probably reDUCE crime from doing so.

He just learns all the dirty ins and outs of everything about how things run here. And as much as he’ll fight for change as the others would, because there’s no way any of that is an acceptable way for you to live, he’ll work dirty in order to take advantage of the system, to do so. What better way, right? Make the dominos fall from the inside out.

He’s a good business man, he knows doing so would also benefit him, too.

He’s like Bruce Wayne if Bruce Wayne was a rich mafia leader jeehskdje

Need health benefits to work for him? Covered. Need above-average pay to actually afford your bills and other stuff? Covered. Need education to do a job for him? They’ll train you.

He’s also practically a Gordon Ramsey, tbh. Lots of his bars will pop up across the world, if he stays here long enough, lol. But they’ll all help a good number of people, in doing so~.

He also donates as much as he can, too. If he’s gonna become even a fraction as rich as Jeff Bozos, he’s ending world hunger and homelessness every year.

And boy oh BOY will he swindle the rich akdhakdhwj

He will whip them so hard, they won’t know what the hell hit them.

He may have been under restrictions at the college, but he sure as hell isn’t here. Watch out as he spreads his tentacles wings.

And, of course, he adores being anywhere near the coast. Doesn’t matter what part of the world you’re in, he just needs to be by the sea.

All the polution absolutely breaks his sweet little heart, and that’s one of the first things on his list to fix. Dealing with trash back home was much easier... you could just zap it all away at big trash fields. But you don’t have that luxury here.

Being that he doesn’t really like his ocotpus form (bbyyyyyy 😢💔), he probably doesn’t mind the permanent legs. At least he doesn’t have to constantly take a potion to keep them, anymore.

But it’s still awkward to get used to. And he can’t stand that he can’t breathe underwater anymore, or go too far down without dying from the pressure.

He’ll dive as often as he can~. And loves to dive, or snorkle, or just swim~, with you, if you want to join him~.

He does miss his home, if only for the beauty and familiarity it had, despite a lot of bad memories around it. But there’s no doubt he’d thrive here, in a way only he could~.

He totally believes your own version of mermaids exists, and gets excited over anything that could prove it to be true 😅

Plus, he’s just obsessed with how marine life works here in general~. If he can juggle being a freakin maffia boss, and a marine biologist just out of the pure love for it, I have no doubt he’d do it~.

Humans most likely evolved from creatures in the water?? That’s amazing~! So the ocean feels like a distant memory of a second home~! He’d love to bond over that, the romantic~ 💜

#twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar #vil schoenheit #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #twst leona #twst vil #twst jack #twst azul #sweet anon #answered #BLESS FOR THE ASK MY FRIEND I HOPE YOU LIKE THESE THOUGHTS OF MINE~! 💞💞💞

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boymeetsweevil · 5 years ago

Text

MBD - 04

Grouping: Reader x Yoongi

Word Count: <8k

Summary: Three lessons to be learned: 1) don’t read the comments. Ever. 2) Baking will never let you down. 3) Don’t tease Yoongi.

Warnings/Themes: Angst?? Heavy doses of body image and related unhealthy behaviors, low self-esteem, cyberbullying? May be triggering for some. Some suggestive content. A jealous Yoongi.

part 0, part 1, part 2, part 3

A few more days pass through your break from work. Yoongi stayed with you the morning after coming back from the club to help you nurse your hangover, but he’d been in the dorms and studio since then. This left you with extra time on your hands.

In that time, you visited your best friend and your cousin who both lived deeper in the city, a mere hour’s ride from your apartment in the outskirts. You also got ahead on some work despite the fact that your boss gave you strict warnings about fully enjoying the break after seeing how hard you worked on the project for the quarter. But eventually you ran out work you could do and had nothing left but Netflix and the internet.

As it turns out, being alone with the internet ends up being a horrible set of circumstances. Curiosity and boredom get the best of you, and you find yourself breaking a cardinal rule.

You google Yoongi to see what pops up and get recent news about him being spotted with a lady friend. You know better, but optimism pulls you in and you’re opening up one of the articles. Apparently a fan that snuck into the VIP booth snapped a picture of you dancing with him at the club you went to a few days prior. Yoongi looks handsome with his bare face half obscured by his mask and a soft expression as he looks at you. But you let out a raspy gasp at your picture.

The only good thing about the photo is that your face is turned away from the camera, leaving your identity barely undiscovered. But your neck is coated with sweat, gleaming under the club lights. In the picture, the dance-move you’re doing is frozen, awkward and contorted, your body looks all wrong. With the powerful camera flash, you can see all the spots on your clothes where sweat had accumulated, all the spots where your amateur makeup skills failed. There’s no grace, no elegance, no dignity afforded to you in the photo. It’s not the first time you’ve seen of yourself in a random pap site or careless photos. But it’s by far the worst one you’ve seen.

Like a magnet is drawing you there, even though your stomach already feels like shards of ice are forming inside it, you break a second cardinal rule. You read the comments.

It’s amazing that she feels comfortable looking like that when there’s a literal GOD standing next to her. I could never do that. I wouldn’t even leave the house

Why is something like this allowed when there are much prettier girls to pick from?

I don’t think Yoongi would be stupid enough to date this girl, the picture probably just makes it look like they’re together when they’re obvi not

actually I think this is the same girl in that ##0524 photo. Look (image01) same hairstyle and earrings. I think she just turned into a blimp...

Guys plz be nice u don’t know this person. Maybe she has a really great personality

so? This is what she gets for trying too hard to cling to Yoongi

Yo it’s prolly cuz she’s rich. You see those leggings? I didn’t even think they made them in that size but they’re from that brand IU wears. And they’re like $250 :0

She wasn’t even that pretty before this but now I REALLY don’t get it. Yoongi~~ there are skinnier girls who would suit u better

Load 675 more...

You slam your laptop shut before fumbling for your phone. Breathing levelly, you’re the picture of eerie calm with the exception of the way your hands tremble. You pull up your text messages to text your best friend when you stop yourself. While the company knows that you’re dating, you’re not allowed to disclose any information about Yoongi or the relationship to any third parties. To the public he’s still single despite his dating clause having expired long before you even met. And there’s no way to explain what you’re going through to your friend without bringing up your secret boyfriend’s stardom.

So who can you turn to, you wonder. You can’t tell your friends. You can’t tell your mother either. As much as you love her, she’d spill the secret in minutes out of well-meaning pride. And there’s no way you can tell Yoongi.

Taking a deep breath in through your nose, you hold it for as long as you can before shoving a pillow over your face and screaming. All that’s left to show for the few minutes you spend screaming is the fact that you feel about 1% better and your now-hoarse voice. But the relief doesn’t last. The relief leaves room for heat to rise on your skin. Annoyance fills all your empty spaces. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and feel more anger.

Maybe you just aren’t working hard enough and people can just see that. Maybe you just aren’t being productive, you haven’t earned your spot yet. You hop off the bed and look around the room, almost frantic in your search for something to work on and actually improve.

Start with a deep clean, you tell yourself.

Two days later when Yoongi comes over, you’re still in the process of purging your tiny apartment.

“What’s all this,” he kicks gently at the garbage bags full of clothes littering the walkway to your bedroom. You jump at the sound of his voice, having forgotten that he mentioned coming over.

“I’m just doing some tidying up. I started with towel folding videos on YouTube and ended up realizing I have a hoarding problem.”

“I don’t think having dust bunnies under your bed counts as hoarding, but okay.” He searches for some space on your bed to sit in. The duvet’s surface is also covered in a mixture of old clothes and little knick knacks you’ve had since before you graduated college. “I didn’t realize you had so many clothes.”

You watch him pick up a spaghetti string top that you hadn’t gotten around to sorting yet. He gestures towards the two trash bags full of clothes on the floor.

“Put it in that one,” you point to the one furthest from the bed.

“Is this the donate pile?” He folds the shirt almost neatly and places it on the top of the other items with a sympathetic pat.

“Uh, no.”

“Then what is it? Looks like you already have everything you’re keeping,” he peers into your stocked closet.

“That’s actually the...inspiration pile,” you explain quietly.

“What?”

“It’s the stuff I'm gonna keep as motivation for me to lose weight.”

“Oh,” you’re surprised to see what looks like faint disappointment in Yoongi’s eyes as your words register. “I mean...makes sense.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I mean that’s one route you could take.”

“Is there another route?” You turn to face him fully from your spot on the ground with a confused smile. The shoes you were organizing lay unattended.

“Well, you could not lose the weight,” he shrugs.

You avert your gaze to the ceiling, as if the true meaning of his words will be scribed there. It sounds as though he’s suggesting you don’t try to get back down to where you were before the huge project your boss assigned you, but you figure that can’t be it.

“I just mean that you could donate these,” he points at the clothes in the inspiration pile. “Some of them look like they’re brand new—I’ve never even seen you in them. And you could just get some new clothes.”

“You mean like ones that fit me now?”

“Or like before.” He shrugs. “Your style was nice, I don’t know why you changed it.”

“It changed because nothing I had before fits now. So I have to wear this other stuff.” You’re talking about the shapeless sweaters and the monotonous greyscale pants.

“You don’t have to.”

He makes a valid point, but it’s a small one. Besides, there’s something else you’re digging for. “So you really think I should buy bigger clothes?”

“Yes,” he says, like it’s so simple.

“Okay...but these clothes are supposed to be there to motivate me to lose the weight. If I just get a new wardrobe, that’ll mean the motivation is gone.”

“Okay,” he draws out the syllables while waiting to hear what your point is.

“That means I’ll stay like this.”

“What do you mean ��like this’? What’s wrong with that?”

Your fists clench at your side as you think back to the photos of you in the club. And the comments from the netizens all saying roughly the same thing. With the puzzled way he stands there and looks at you, you feel another wave of frustration rise up. Did he really not see what was happening? Was he really going to make you say it?

“Hey,” he peers down at the veins rearing against the skin of your hands. “I mean it. What’s wrong?”

He gets up like the discussion is about to go somewhere but his phone ringing loudly with the little jingle reserved for one of his producer buddies stops the conversation in its tracks. You take this as a moment to shoo him out your place before your head explodes. Yoongi looks conflicted, he truly does. Still, he answers the call dutifully and gives a few affirmative words to assure that he is going to be at the studio soon and is ready to work. The call is short, but the mood is still tense like an angry, trapped breath.

“I have, like, 5 more minutes before I have to go—”

“You know what? Never mind. You’re clearly busy with studio stuff and I’m...busy too.”

With steely eyes, you take the clothes he was trying to help you with and add them to your own pile. He picks up the few things he brought with him in his brief visit and eyes you like he wants to say more. His gaze lingers over the sides of your face like a regretful touch and you turn to the side to shrug it off.

Another beep from his phone shatters the gossamer thin atmosphere further. He sighs and pulls his phone back out before hunching his shoulders.

“Can I use your laptop to check my email really quickly before I go? They just sent me a file and I can’t open it on my—”

“Yeah, yeah, just take it with you. I don’t need it,” you cut him off and wave a hand in the direction of your computer.

He looks almost upset when he gathers your laptop in his arms with the rest of his things, but doesn’t push the issue any further. The air is too tight for anything, even a genuine goodbye. Your throat is sore with oncoming angry tears and you just want him out.

The door shuts behind him softly, in place of the usual goodbye kiss. You wait until you know he’s gone let it all out.

*** Yoongi opens your laptop when he’s in the back of the car taking him to the studio. It takes him a minute to remember your password, but he logs on with minimal difficulty and the last thing you were looking at pops up obediently.

The rest of your break from work passes without a visit from Yoongi again. It’s not a coincidence. It’s because you turned your phone off for 48 hours and even after you turn it back on, you mute all other notifications and only look at it to check your work email and tell your friends that you’re ‘unplugging for a bit’.

In that time, you get all your clothes sorted. You burn through an entire fitness-based podcast series. You declutter your whole apartment. But there’s still an unpleasant buzzing under your skin that doesn’t go away. Even with the reintroduction of at-home cardio and the shady water fast you did that promised a lifted mood and a loss of 2 pounds.

Then you’re home from work one day, and you find yourself pacing all around the rooms of your place. You’re fed up with bottling things up, but you don’t know what to do with this knowledge. Yes, it’s nice to realize that everything you’d been chasing wasn’t worth the torture you put yourself through, but you can’t seem to get any further. So you try baking. And when that doesn’t put you at ease immediately, you break down and call Yoongi.

Yoongi picks up immediately. Part of you is surprised because he’s been working on new mixtape stuff and when that happens he’s usually unreachable. But another part of you isn’t surprised because, to him, you dropped off the face of the earth after a near-argument and he’s still technically on break from promotions for a little while longer. There’s no reason not to be answering the phone. In spite of all this, his tone is a tentative mix of concern and relief that has you blinking in confusion before curtly telling him you wanted to talk at your place.

He arrives in a defensive cocoon of layers and squared off features. Only one of the two he sheds at the coat rack by your front door before going to find you in the kitchen, just finishing shoving dozens of muffins into the oven.

“Hey,” he says after clearing his throat to make his presence known.

“Hey.” You turn around and remove the oven mitts you’re wearing. “We need to talk about some things.”

“I know,” he chuckles humorlessly. “I saw that shit on your computer.”

Your brow furrows in thought as you recall the last thing you used your laptop for. Recollection comes eventually. Briefly you wonder if Yoongi read past the top comments. If he gave into the urge to comb through every single one to satisfy morbid curiosity. You nod.

“It definitely has to do with that.”

“Fuck what those people are saying. You don’t need to change or to—to keep an inspiration pile.”

At that, you groan. Your fingers tap on the countertop impatiently. “Can you please stop saying stuff like that?”

“What? That you’re perfect the way you are?” He spits.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not true.”

“Why wouldn’t it be true?”

Frustrated tears well up in the corners of your eyes because while you get that this isn’t an issue he’d ever have to worry about, part of you still don’t understand how he doesn’t get it. He’s trying so hard to be a good, romantic boyfriend that he doesn’t even see how much he misses. It’s supposed to be comforting, you’re sure, but it only infuriates you.

“Because I don’t fucking match you like this!”

He jumps at the sound of your raised voice, eyes wide. “Match me? What the hell?”

“You heard me,” you mumble.

“Yeah, I fucking heard you, but it still doesn’t make any sense. You’re not signed to some stupid contract, you’re not mandated to do anything with your body.”

“Haven’t I, though? I signed that fucking non-disclosure agreement after all. And I get a fucking angry call from your PR agents every time I show up in your pap photos, even though my face is never in them.” At this point you’re pacing again. This time it’s in tight circles in front of your fridge. “You said it yourself, you saw those awful comments. You saw how mad people get when I don’t show myself in just the right way. Those fans ripped me apart, Yoongi.” Your voice cracks and you curse yourself for being an angry crier. Crossing your arms around yourself, you try your best to beat back the tears.

“So you’re going to let a few fans tell you how to feel?”

“A few fans?” You’re close to laughter. “Try six hundred comments on one photo. Six hundred comments about the person who isn’t even the celebrity. And then multiply that by the number of times someone’s caught me at an unflattering angle or when I was bloating or when I started gaining weight back for real. Do the fucking math, Yoongi.”

That shuts him down instantly. Immediately worry replaces the incredulity. “I—how many times has this happened? Is this not the first time?”

You sigh at his ignorance. “No, but this is first time I was dumb enough to read the comments.”

“Why didn’t you say anything the first time something like this happened?” Yoongi’s face is full of distraught guilt. It’s hard for you to look at.

“What do you want me to say? Did you really want to hear me say all this stuff about some of your fans? These are people that love you. And you love them.”

“I love you, too. You know that,” he whispers, voice raw with emotion.

You can only sigh again because you do know. He does love you. He loves you perhaps too much. At this point, it seems like he’s so infatuated with you that he can’t fathom that people would have issues with you. But he’s also so in love with his career that you don’t have the heart to show him the things you’re facing. The dissonance would be too much to add to his already-full plate. And knowing Yoongi, he might do something stupid and get himself in trouble with his own fans. You’d hate to be the cause of something like that in his career.

The oven beeps and you use that as an excuse to escape the way his eyes shine as he contemplates just how much he wasn’t aware of until now.

He leans on the doorframe to watch you pull out the muffins from the oven and drop them unceremoniously onto the stovetop. The muffins are perfectly golden-brown and give off a warm, sweet scent that fills the kitchen quickly. You stand silent with your back to him, shoulders rising with the careful breaths you’re forcing yourself to take.

“Do you still love me,” his voice is small when it floats over to you.

“Ughh,” you claw at your face with your oven mitts. “Of course I do. I wouldn’t have asked you over if I didn’t. But...you have to understand that this is hard for me.”

“And what is ‘this’?

You turn and lean back against the counter, gesturing vaguely with a gloved hand. “This idol thing.” He tilts his head, not understanding. “I just mean that you have this amazing image because you’re out in the spotlight and I don’t want to sully that for you by...not looking like I should.”

“Why do you care about what other people think so much?”

“That’s so easy for you to say when people love you and you look like that. It’s different for regular people.” Your voice cracks once more as the shine lighting up your eyes breaks and runs down your cheeks. “It’s different because I’m already not deserving of you in their eyes. I can’t be regular and not look perfect.”

His hard demeanor softens at the sound of your sniffles and he comes to pull you into his chest, smoothing over your back. “Baby, there’s nothing wrong with the way you look.”

“I know that,” you sob. “I know that there’s nothing wrong with me, but you’ve seen what people say on those stupid forums. No amount of self-confidence could protect anyone from that shit.”

“Can I ask you something,” he says softly after a few aching moments of listening to you try to rein in your breathing.

“Y-yeah.”

“Who are the most important people in your life?”

“Huh?” You look up at him with watery lashes and he wonders how you could ever find fault with what you see in the mirror.

“Whose opinion matters to you most?”

“I don’t know,” you rub wet cheeks against the fabric of his top and think. “My boss since he pays me, obviously. And coworkers, I guess. My friends, definitely. My family, although they’re pretty easy to ignore.” He snorts. “A-and you,” you add on at the end hastily.

He gives you a sad smile when you look up at him. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“I mean...doesn’t how you feel matter? You just listed a bunch of other people.”

“Of course what I feel matters,” you say suddenly. You push back from him to clear your head. The tears have stopped flowing, though your cheeks are still wet. “I just can’t go through the world only ever hearing or caring about what I think. But I like myself, Yoongi.”

He nods seriously.

“Even if it doesn’t seem like it because I’m shy sometimes, or quiet. I like myself. But it still hurts to have people tell me they think I shouldn’t. I’m not the type of person who doesn’t react when people attempt to hurt me. That’s the part that hurts the most, I think. Knowing that it was their goal all along.”

“I get that. Or,” He purses his lips, “I think I do. I want to get it, anyway.”

You give him a weak smile because he’s cute, even in moments like this.

He squeezes your hand before bringing it to his lips. It’s not quite a kiss, just him brushing his lips against your skin while he talks. “But I still want to be there for you. And I hate that I could only guess when you were hurting.”

“I should have told you, but I was embarrassed.”

“Why would you be embarrassed?” He moves back to pull up a chair at your dining room table. His gaze is genuine and engaged as he looks to you for an answer.

“I’ve been dieting since the company approved us dating privately. This is the first time I’ve been...normal around you. I was worried you’d have this epiphany. That I’m not who you thought I was.”

“Do you remember the first night we met,” he asks all of the sudden.

“Yeah? You came to visit me at work and freaked my supervisor out. She still has that napkin you autographed.”

“That’s not the first night we met,” he shakes his head and chuckles. “We first met at my party. The one your cousin brought you to.”

“Oh, god. I hardly remember that, I was so drunk. I think I blocked it out.”

“You looked like this back then,” he smiles softly at you, memories of that night settling over the surroundings as they play out in front of him.

“Yeah, I know,” you nod softly, eyes averted.

“And you were so pretty that night too.” His gaze turns slightly salacious. “In that little shiny dress you wore—what ever happened to that?”

“You’re dumb,” you shove him with a simpering smile. He merely grins before pulling you slightly closer towards where he’s seated at the kitchen table.

“You still have it?”

“Oh my god, leave me alone.”

He leans into your space, making you duck your head to hide the way your cheeks flare up at his personal attention. Seeing you like this makes something coil in his belly. In due time, he thinks as he backs off. In due time, he’ll really give it to you. But in the meantime he behaves and doesn’t do anything more than intertwine your fingers together.

“I’m donating the clothes from the inspiration bag,” you mumble into his hair.

He pulls back and is careful to keep his face neutral. “Yeah?”

“I did a lot of thinking. And I realized that I don’t think I can say I really like myself if I keep forcing myself into this...mold.”

His brows furrow, lips pouting prettily as he focuses on following your train of thought. “So, what does that mean now?”

“So, this is me. For a long time probably, unless something major happens. I’m telling you so it can sink in. This is your out.”

“Okay,” he stands up from his chair slowly. Large, warm hands come to cup your face tenderly. “And this is me telling you I don’t want an out.”

“Okay,” you breathe out a sigh of relief so deep you don’t know where it came from.

“Glad that much is worked out,” he says before planting a sweet kiss on your cheek. “Hey.”

“What?”

“Can I have a muffin?”

You roll your eyes but go and get a plate from the cabinet. He watches you carefully as you hesitate at the oven before gingerly putting two muffins on the plate. When you return to the table, you mumble something about just wanting to see if they came out good and he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he takes a bite of one of your rare instances of culinary genius. He lets out a moan that makes your eyes widen and you take a bite before nodding to yourself.

“Just open a bakery already,” he says with a semi-full mouth and reaches out with grabby hands until you get the message to leave your chair. He pulls you into his lap and you try not to feel too self-conscious as you settle your thighs on top of his own. His hand lands on top of your lap casually, large hands splaying out on top to squeeze affectionately at the softness he finds there.

You worry you’re cutting off the blood supply to his legs but he sits happily with you in his lap and even kicks a little rhythm out while finishing his muffin. You get up and he snags the untouched part of your muffin before pulling his phone out of his pocket.

There’s a stream of messages in the group chat asking about his whereabouts and what he wants to do tonight. He answers that he’s with you and the other members all complain about how long it’s been since you visited them. Jungkook even tells Yoongi to bring you over to his place since they’re having a small kickback with just themselves and your post-break workload is still light. He purses his lips and asks for a raincheck, not wanting to push you into being on just yet.

***

A few days pass and the messages get more and more annoying as the other members whine about not having seen neither Yoongi nor you in far too long. So during one of the last days of their break, while he’s trying to dictate a cookie recipe to you, he breaks down at the 13th ping from his phone in a short period.

“Do you want to come hang out with me and the guys tonight?”

Normally if you’re invited over, you jump at the chance because you love getting out of your apartment and you like seeing Yoongi in his element with the people he’s closest to. But you don’t jump on the invitation now because it’s been so long since you last saw the guys and you know that you looked different then.

“I don’t know,” you fold toasted almonds into the cookie dough.

“Why not?”

“You know why,” you sigh. “And as nice as they are, I don’t really want to deal with the ‘did you do something with your hair’ or ‘wow you look so different’ comments.”

“They’re not gonna say that, they’re not total assholes. Look, if anyone says or does anything stupid, I’ll rip them a new one and take you back here.”

You purse your lips while you think it over. “And then will you stay the night?”

“If something stupid happens, I’ll cancel my studio appointment and stay over,” he smiles at you, eyes crinkling. “I’ll tell them we’re on our way now.”

“I can’t leave now,” your hands flutter up as you go from 0 to 60. “I’m a mess, I need to—”

“It’s just the guys. There’s literally no one there worth impressing. I would know.”

“Fine,” you groan. “Just let me change. I’m covered in flour.”

In your room, you find yourself unsure of what to put on. You no longer have any of the clothes you used to wear when you needed to feel like you objectively looked good. But you do have the gorgeous leggings Yoongi gifted you. You switch out your current shirt for a cleaner one and slip on a pair you’ve become obsessed with.

Yoongi punches in the code to the front door of Jungkook’s apartment while you hold the tin of cookies you made. Your fingers slip against the container due to having grown a bit clammy on the ride over. It took a heinous amount of time to wrap them in a way that would keep them warm all during the ride across the city. And now you’re nervous despite the fact that Yoongi sensed it in the car and hurled reassurance after reassurance at you.

But when Namjoon pulls the door open and greets both of you with a smile and a hug and no weird looks, you let out a tiny sigh of relief.

The guys crowd around you after Yoongi announces that you baked. Hoseok mumbles to himself about Yoongi hiding you purposefully so he could hoard your baking and takes two cookies for good measure. Jungkook says thank you politely before splitting one with Jimin. Taehyung takes two for himself and Namjoon and tells you ‘welcome back’. While the rest of the members snack, you count off the remaining sweets in the container and realize you didn’t give any to Jin.

The oldest member is standing in the hallway, drinking from a glass of water and scrolling through his phone when you find him. He must not have gotten the memo that you arrived, so you make your presence known by softly clearing your throat.

“Long time no see,” you smile at Jin.

He peers at you over the rim of his glass for a few long beats and you work to keep your smile natural. You can’t help but worry that he’s looking at the way you’ve has changed since he last saw you, chiseling away at the outside to see the familiar you he knows underneath.

“I guess it has been,” he finally says when he drains his glass. He leans back to rest his back on the wall. “Whatcha got there?”

“Oh, um, they’re just some cookies I made today. Yoongi had been bugging me about making them and I gave some to the others. I just thought I’d see if you wanted any.”

“I’ve always liked your baking.” He reaches out and plucks a cookie from the tin. A second later half of the cookie is gone. He chews thoughtfully.

“This is a new recipe, so I don’t know if it’s as good as it could be. I haven’t had much time for experimenting in the kitchen with work up until now so they might be—”

“I can only imagine how good they were when they first came out of the oven,” he finishes the rest and cuts your rambling off.

You stand there, oddly nervous, while he chews. When he finishes, he watches you fiddle with the lid so the cookies don’t get stale.

“Something’s changed about you,” Jin says finally, his eyes moving from your hair to your toes. You nearly drop the tin in your fumbling, and cringe from both the comment and your clumsiness.

“Yeah, I... gained some weight recently,” you blurt out in the hopes that it’ll be less uncomfortable if you’re the one to say it. But it’s not.

“Hmm,” Jin’s eyes rove over you more thoroughly, making you stand ramrod straight. “I don’t think that’s it. It’s something else, I think.”

“Oh. Well I don’t know, then.”

“What’s going on,” Yoongi’s voice creeps into the mix.

When you turn your head, you’re greeted with the sight of Yoongi in the doorway. He looks comfortably settled against the doorframe, like he’s been there for a while. His gaze isn’t directed at you, but at Jin, you realize. A quick glance back shows that they’re both looking at one another.

“Nothing. We were just talking.” Jin shrugs before walking over to you. A hand on the small of your back brings you with him and up to Yoongi.

Yoongi fixes Jin with a narrowed stare. “The guys were wondering where you both were. They want to play a game together.”

“We were here. No need to worry about us.”

“Well, why don’t you go in and tell them that? I’m gonna speak with my girlfriend.”

Jin gives him an amused smile before giving you a two-fingered captain’s salute and heading to the living room. It might have seemed dorky if anyone had done it, but you marvel over how cool he makes the gesture look. Yoongi turns to you then and takes in your distant expression.

“He didn’t say or do anything to make you uncomfortable, did he? Jin sometimes is a total asshole.”

“No, he—well, he said I looked different.”

“Do you want me to beat him up,” he steps forward to rest his hands on your shoulders. “Because I can, just say the word.”

“It’s really okay. He said it wasn’t just the weight. That it was something else.”

Yoongi’s lips thin as he tries to look for some other message in your words. “I don’t know what the hell that means.”

“It probably didn’t mean anything bad. Just let it go.”

Yoongi nods but takes both your hands in his to kiss them. You lead the way to the living room, feeling a little more like you can handle the night. There’s not much space with all seven members and you. You end up seated away from Yoongi, on the couch between Jungkook and Jin.

Somehow you get roped into playing some Mario game with two teams. You don’t know anything about video games, but you listen to Jungkook’s instructions carefully when you get one of the controllers because he’s one of your teammates. You’re not very good, though. Jin, your team captain, eventually has to maneuver his hands over yours so your character does the right thing.

“You sure you didn’t change your makeup style or something,” Jin asks during one of the rounds where you’re supposed to be playing against Hoseok.

The question takes you by surprise and you turn toward the sound of his voice only to realize just how close he is when he’s acting as a gaming coach of sorts.

“Uh, no. Why?”

“Dunno,” he doesn’t look at you while he converses with you. He’s watching the screen with a hawk-like focus. “You just look prettier than I remember.”

You stutter around nothing, not sure what to say. In the end you settle for saying nothing, though you do spare Yoongi a glance. His gaze must have already been directed at you because you make eye contact immediately. Knowing that he’s probably just making sure you’re having an okay time, you give him a thumbs up and attempt to make Kirby spin on the large screen in front of you.

The night stays that same level of odd. No one else does anything out of the ordinary, barring Jin. He’s strangely attentive even after you get the hang of playing enough to take full control of the controller. After that point, he still slings an arm across the back of the couch, which makes full contact with your shoulders because of how tightly packed you all are on the couch. And when he wants your attention, he makes a habit of brushing his hand down your arm and sometimes leaving it there.

You figure you just don’t spend enough time with Jin to get used to him. But you’ve seen enough interactions between him and the younger members to know how touchy-feely they are with each other. Maybe you’re just enough of an extension of Yoongi to be included in that touching. So you try your hardest not to question it. It’s just nice to know you've been accepted that much and you start to lean into the touch like you would with your own friends.

Soon enough you’re taking part in the high fives that melt into hand holding when you score a goal.

‘Quite a feat for a beginner’, Jin tells you.

Yoongi watches from across the room as your face lights up once again from Jin’s praise. You look like you’re having wholesome fun and the urge to interrupt that is what kills him. But what kills him more is the way Jin’s thumb strokes gently against the curve of your flank as he gestures to something on the screen while Jungkook takes a turn with the controller.

He didn’t think he was the jealous type, but when Taehyung orders pizza one painful hour later, Yoongi’s come to the realization that he’s much more selfish than he knew. Jin whines until you let him feed you a bite of the pepperoni pizza on his plate, knowing you’re too nice to say no. You think this is run of the mill behavior, but even Jimin raises his eyebrows at the display before peering at Yoongi’s furious profile.

The last straw, though, is when Jin wipes a trickle of grease from the corner of your mouth and waits until you’ve turned your head to say something to Jungkook before sucking the residue off. At that, Yoongi stands up abruptly, nearly toppling over the empty box that was near his knees.

“It’s getting late,” he answers the curious stares watching him trudge over to you. “We should head out now if we still want to get back to your place at a decent hour.”

“Oh,” your eyes are wide, “You don’t have to. I know you wanted to do your thing in the studio tomorrow. I should be fine on my own,” you hint back to the promise he made to stay over if the night was a bust.

“I changed my plans already, so I’ll go later in the week. Come on, let’s call a car and go.”

“I can drive you guys. I brought my car,” Jin offers suddenly. His arm is back to resting behind your shoulders. And because his fingers are close enough to graze your shoulder, they do.

“You really don’t have to,” Yoongi bites out. His stare is potent with silent accusation.

“Yoongi, why not? Jin’s place is across the bridge from mine. It actually makes some sense, and I was getting kinda tired. If we wait for a car, I might not be able to get up early enough to go to that brunch spot you mentioned.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jin claps his hands with finality and gets up from the couch before extending his hand out to you. Much to Yoongi’s chagrin, you take his hand like it’s a genuine gesture of chivalry.

Jin somehow manages to get you to sit up in the passenger’s seat with him, leaving Yoongi to fume in the backseat. Occasionally Jin’s eyes will meet his in the rear view mirror and they’ll crinkle with impish amusement before returning to caressing your silhouette.

“So,” Jin says once he gets on the freeway. “Is our Yoongi treating you good?”

You laugh because you don’t see the game at play. “Of course he is. He’s the best boyfriend I could have asked for.” Yoongi’s resolve softens momentarily at your sincere tone. “I love him, even when he gets weird like tonight.” That comment has Jin cackling.

“You know,” he says once his laughter dwindles down, “I actually had the flu the day of Yoongi’s party. The day you guys met.”

“That explains why I didn’t actually see you there. I remember everyone else being there, though.” You gaze wistfully out the window. “I was too shy to talk to any of you guys then.”

“That’s okay. If I had been there, I would have talked to you.”

“That would have been a fun night, I bet.”

“Yeah,” he makes sure Yoongi’s looking in the rearview mirror. “Who knows how close we’d be today if I hadn’t gotten sick.”

Yoongi’s cheek nearly bleeds with force of his teeth gnawing on the inside. If he could, he’d reach forward and throttle Jin. But he’s driving so that’s not an option.

The torture doesn’t last much longer because about 10 minutes later you’re directing Jin to the parking garage of your apartment complex. The goodbyes are annoyingly drawn out and Jin manages to invite himself to brunch the next morning. All the while, Yoongi stands behind you, dying to get inside and away from the eldest member.

Finally, the door gets slammed shut before Jin can say something stupid about seeing you both tomorrow. Yoongi gives the door a smug look and then turns to catch a flash of your eyebrows raised in amusement. His eyes narrow and he approaches you slowly as you shrug off your layers in an almost too mundane way.

“What’s so funny,” he drawls. He attempts to peer at your face only for you to keep whipping it away every time he gets too close.

“Nothing,” you turn and give him your back while you smooth over your already made bed. “It’s just interesting watching you with Jin. I never really get to see you guys together.”

“What’s interesting about it?”

Yoongi starts unbuttoning his own outer layers with painstaking care, giving you ample time to twitch under the weight of his gaze. You fight to keep a smile from sneaking onto your face, but it’s too hard and you let your lips turn up in a little grin. He can’t see it, but he can hear it in your voice.

“You’re just cute when you’re mad.”

A muscle in Yoongi’s jaw jumps.

“You noticed that I was mad, huh?” He shirks off his jacket roughly, sulking in his subtle way. Luckily—or perhaps not luckily—you’ve come to recognize it well.

“I did.” Your voice is high and steady as you remove your sweater, leaving you in a soft and worn t-shirt. “I’ll admit it was entertaining. A little bit.”

“Is that so?” He hums.

“I mean, I don't know what you were mad about. But I could tell it wasn’t about something serious.”

He merely nods and watches you fidget. You peer at him through the side of your eye and see him meticulously undoing the clasp of his watch. From the way he moves slowly through the process of undressing for bed, you can tell something’s coming.

“Let me ask you something, then.”

“O-okay.”

“Is Jin still your favorite?”

“Are you kidding?”

You have to stop hunting for pajamas at your dresser and turn to him to see if he’s in fact kidding. But he looks dangerously serious, and you have to fight to keep your eyes from rolling.

“That’s what this is about? All this sulky Yoongi is because of that?”

“Just answer the question,” he shrugs his shoulders lightly.

Supposedly he’s calm and collected and not jealous, but his eyes are sharp as they zero in on you. Easily, he pushes himself off the wall he was leaning on. The steps he takes toward you are measured and slow. You still find yourself holding your breath as he comes to sit benignly on the bed across from you. It’s something he does sometimes when you’re getting dressed or undressed. Because ‘he likes the view’, he usually says. But tonight it makes you grab the first thing that you find out of your pajama drawer so you’re not leaving your back vulnerable.

“Of course he’s not my favorite anymore. I haven’t felt that way since before we got together.”

“I was just wondering.”

“Yoongi,” you sigh and pull the old t-shirt off to replace it with a sleep shirt. “When you asked me who my favorite was half a year ago I didn’t realize you were flirting with me. And I didn’t really know much about the group either.”

He nods like he thinks what you’ve said is completely reasonable and you stuff your legs through some of your yoga pants roughly. When you finish, you’re still standing defensively on the other side of the room. He looks up at you and beckons you over without a word. You feel compelled to move forward. Unsure of what would happen if you didn’t humor him.

When you’re finally approaching the V of his parted legs, he motions for you to sit next to him on the bed. You do.

“You know,” he begins slowly, “You looked like you were having a great time tonight.”

“Oh,” you blink. “Yeah, I was having fun. Even though it took a while for me to win a round. And even then I think Hoseok might have let me win.”

“Was Jin a good teacher?”

“Yeah, he was a good teacher.”

“I bet he was. He had a good student. He looked like he was enjoying himself.”

“Maybe,” you tap your finger on your chin pensively. “It didn’t seem like he hated having to show me how to play.”

“No, trust me, he was enjoying it.” Yoongi’s tone dips audibly, and you stop yourself when you realize what he’s implying.

“God, Yoongi, stop it. It wasn’t like that. He was just being nice.”

“I’ve known Jin a long time. I know what he looks like when he’s flirting. It started as soon as you walked through the door.”

“That’s crazy,” you mumble. But then you think of all the lingering touches and glances again and it clicks. “He...he was probably just trying to rile you up. Jin likes to mess with people sometimes. You’re always saying that.”

Yoongi pins you with an odd look. It’s partly amused, partly pitying. Then it turns cold. “You know, Jin’s been sweet on you since I first introduced you. The first night you met, he told me he used to date someone who looked a bit like you when he was younger, before debuting.”

“Oh my god,” you whisper again.

“You really didn’t know?” Yoongi leans in so the words practically brush against the skin of your cheek. “He was shoving himself all over you the whole night and you didn’t notice?”

You shake your head, at a loss for words. His hand finds its way to your opposite arm, pulling you closer to him.

“Hmm,” he hums in acknowledgment.

Then Yoongi’s lips are pressing gently to the skin of your neck. There’s a hint of something in the kisses that makes them feel a bit too heated to be chaste. At first you think it’s gratitude, but when you turn your head to meet his lips with your own, it’s clear that it’s not just that. His tongue snakes in between your lips, and you let it happen as you turn the evening’s events over in your memory.

“Yoongi,” you whisper between kisses.

“Hmm?” His large hands are splayed low over the swell of your back, a pinky finger just barely dipping under the waistband of your pants.

“I think I did know.”

“Huh?”

“I think as soon as he said that thing in the car—about being in your place—I knew he wasn’t just being friendly anymore.”

“Yeah?” he mumbles against your lips.

Taking you by surprise, he pushes deeper into your mouth until he’s stealing your breath. His lips are plush but insistent. And you’re conflicted. But suddenly he’s pulling away with a damp mouth and a firm grasp on your hip.

“You knew and made me sit through all that and then invited him to brunch in front of me?” He nips at your lax mouth. “That’s not very nice.”

“I know,” you sigh.

“Don’t you think you should be punished, then?” When you pull away looking like he’s grown a second head, he shrugs mildly and like he didn’t just threaten to take you over his knee. “Or not. Your choice.”

#bangtan bookclub #networkbangtan #yoonginetwork #hyunglinenetwork #btswriters #yoongi imagines #yoongi scenarios #yoongi fanfic #bangtan scenarios #bangtan imagines #bangtan fanfic #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fanfic

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thelagomlifestyle · 4 years ago

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21 Healthy Habits And Goals To Incorporate In 2021

2020 was quite exhausting to be very frank both mentally and physically. For some, it was a chance to learn something new, slow down and focus on themselves but for others, it was mentally exhausting to the point that it led to laziness, procrastination, and delay in work without a proper routine.

In this blog post, we are going to cover 21 healthy habits and goals to maintain a balanced lifestyle.

I want each and everyone to take it slow and not put too much pressure to achieve all these goals at once because it takes time to build a habit.

All I want to say ‘Do not give up’

One and a half months have already passed and during the new year a lot of us must have set some resolutions for ourselves like we do every year.

Most of us are still going strong and that’s great but for those who feel like they are not able to keep up with their resolutions ‘It’s completely okay, you can still start’.

1) Prioritize Your ME Time

Having ME time is an important part of our daily life be it at night for a few hours after work or maybe on weekends when you have the whole day to yourself.

Watch your favourite Netflix show, take a nice shower, create a skincare routine wherein you pamper yourself by scrubbing, a nice face pack, and a face mask, eat whatever you feel like on weekends (cheat day), light a scented candle to uplift your mood

Try this scented candle which not only smells amazing but is super affordable at the same time. It instantly lift up your mood.

I have used their Rose, Ocean and Jasmine fragrance and it feels so good when you light up and listen to music or read a book. I mean there must be a lot of things you feel like doing but you can’t prioritize yourself throughout the week, these are just a few examples above.

I would suggest making the most out of your ME time.

2) Eat Nutritious Meals

Try to add fruits and vegetables to your diet.

I am not a fan of dieting at all and I try to eat homemade food throughout the week and have a cheat day on weekends just to balance out

Honestly, it is impossible to have too much homemade food or too much junk, we need to balance out.

One thing which I need to focus on this year is to include fruits in my diet because I eat less fruits and it’s not that I don’t like them but I just don’t know the reason.

Maybe I am too lazy to eat fruits

Anyways, include green vegetables in your meal throughout the week and fruits as well as it’s going to be good for your health, skin and also for your digestive system.

3) Drink More Water

I just can’t focus on how important it is to drink water.

It might sound basic but remember basics are the hardest to incorporate.

I know everybody knows the importance of drinking water but I would still like to state a few:

It keeps your skin healthy

Removes body waste

Improves digestion

Improves blood circulation

There are tons of other advantages but I have mentioned a few basic ones here.

A tip: Carry a water bottle with you wherever you go and refill after a few hours in case you are like me and feel lazy to go to the kitchen and get water.

4) Journaling

This is something that I started last year during lock down when things started getting pretty exhausting mentally and I wanted something to brain dump all my thoughts.

Journaling requires you to be true to yourself and be as transparent with your thoughts as possible.

There is no one to judge you, it’s just you and your diary.

Also, journaling helps you feel mentally relaxed and lets you reflect on certain situations and dilemmas going on in your life.

5) Schedule Your Sleep

My 2021 goal is to have a proper sleep cycle because 2020 has worsened my sleep schedule.

I used to sleep at 2 or 3 am most of the days in 2020 because of lack of motivation.

Get 7-8 hours of sleep in a flow and sleep early so that you can wake up on time.

It is going to make you look fresh in the morning instead of getting puffy eyes when you wake up. Also, it affects your health.

I am telling you all this because I have been there and it did affect my health and my face used to look super dull.

I am trying to improve my sleep schedule and trying to wake up early. Of course, it is going to take time but you have to be persistent.

6) Spending Time In Nature

If you want peace and need to calm your thoughts then being close to nature is the perfect answer.

It helps you reduce stress and increase your happiness.

Last year we were locked inside our homes and nobody was allowed to go outside.

Now that things are getting back to normal try to spend as much time in nature as possible.

Go to parks near your place, plan trips where you can be close to nature or maybe put as many plants as you want in your house.

7) Make Your Bed As Soon As You Wake Up

It is a good habit to make your bed as soon as you wake up as it prevents you from getting back to bed instantly and also reduces mental stress

Imagine you come back after work to a cluttered bed I am sure it is going to exhaust you mentally and now imagine if you come home to a nice, clean bed you will feel so relaxed.

So make sure you make your bed as soon as you wake up.

8) Social Media Detox

We all need a break from social media from time to time.

I mean there is no point in endlessly scrolling your feed and wasting your time and energy.

Social media is also one of the major reasons for procrastination.

Only follow people who inspire you and avoid following people who make you feel bad about yourself and fill you with negative or toxic thoughts.

Do not let anyone or anything question your identity.

Consciously, start giving your precious time to your friends and family instead of unnecessarily being on social media.

Set a specific time you want to use social media or set a limit.

9) Read Books

To be honest, I was never a big fan of reading books until last year when of course there was a lock down and we were trying to learn something new or build a nice habit.

That was the time I started reading books and the book that I read was a self-help one which changed my perspective to perceive life to a whole new level

The book is written by VEX KING named – GOOD VIBES, GOOD LIFE.

If you haven’t read this book please read it. It is an amazing one.

Written in simple language and something which is guaranteed to change your mindset.

I somehow love this new habit and I try my best to read a book daily for 20-30 min either in the morning or before sleeping.

You know until last year I was in no position to guide you why reading books is a good habit but now I am pretty sure that I am in a position to tell you.

It enhances your creativity, increases your knowledge and you know knowledge is never wasted.

You can use a kindle or paperback version, whatever you feel comfortable with. I prefer paperback so that I can be away from the screen for a few minutes.

10) Celebrate Small Wins

It is important to celebrate small wins in your life instead of being harsh on yourself.

Celebrating small wins will make you feel motivated to grow more in life and make you feel good about yourself.

11) Prioritize Meditation

Start by meditating 10-15 minutes each day if you are just starting out but I would say START.

There are a number of apps like Headspace, Calm, or Youtube where you can follow a guided meditation.

It is going to calm your mind and let you sit in stillness and reflect on your thoughts and emotions.

12) Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries should be given priority in life.

Do not entertain anything which makes you feel uneasy.

Also, learn to say NO when you don’t feel like doing a certain thing.

I know I know it is not easy to say NO to a lot of people and I am one of them.

I always feel like I am going to hurt the other person without realizing that the thing is being done at the expense of my happiness.

Another important thing, communicate with people and let them know if you don’t like a certain situation so that they know there is a thin boundary that they should not cross.

13) Being Productive/Organized

Okay, being organized is something that I suck at and I feel like I am telling you guys about so many weaknesses of mine.

But like so many of you I am also trying to be a better version of myself.

I really need to start planning a day or week ahead to stay productive in life because I am really bad at planning things

This is the reason I end up completing most of my tasks at the eleventh hour.

This is something that I need to focus on in 2021 so that I can make the most out of it.

Plan monthly tasks related to work or set weekly or monthly goals or plans. There are a lot of things you can do to stay organized.

Use either a dairy to write your to-do list or if you can then buy a productivity planner to keep you organized. There are so many productivity apps out there as well.

14) Get Therapy Or Consult A Counsellor

This is a serious topic which I need everybody to take seriously.

IT IS TOTALLY OKAY TO CONSULT A THERAPIST IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SUFFOCATING FROM WITHIN

Do not care if anybody is trying to judge you because it’s your lie and nobody has the right to judge you in this matter.

Most people don’t normalize going to a therapist which I feel is so wrong.

It is so difficult for people to tell that they are seeing a therapist

Why?

People think anybody visiting a therapist is either crazy or has serious mental problems.

Especially after last year which took a toll on a lot of people’s mental health we need to accept the fact that it’s fine if we seek help.

I mean we all need help at some point or the other in our lives and there are certain things we do not find comfortable to share with our closed ones.

The fact is now it’s time to change our thought process and focus on our mental health more.

Normalize saying “I am visiting a therapist”

15) Slow Down And Give Yourself A Break

Last year became the year we all were forced to slow down in our lives.

Things didn’t go as planned and life became a bit complicated in a lot of ways.

We got so much time in our hands to self-reflect and learn so much about ourselves.

Instead of rushing through this year try to take things slow and take each day at a time.

I am in no sense asking you guys to not be productive, all I am saying is don’t put too much pressure on yourself or do not overestimate your goals.

Take one task at a time and give your best at it.

16) Create A Thin Line Between Spending And Saving

I mentioned this point in one of my previous posts where I mentioned how important it is to save money and not to spend it on unnecessary things.

Things you only desire but don’t need.

Again last year taught us the importance of saving money because when so many people were unemployed they relied on their savings.

Make a point to save as much as possible this year and in the coming year because life is so uncertain, you never know what is going to happen next.

17) Invest In Yourself

Invest in yourself means this year make a point to learn a lot of new things be it new courses or seminars, maybe a good workout or reading a new book, listening to a podcast.

Spending your time and money on something which will help you grow into a better person is the best choice you can make.

It’s good to unlearn and learn in life. Also, it’s a fact that knowledge is never wasted.

18) Stay Away From Toxic People

Stay around quality people because that’s the best gift you can give yourself.

Also, that is a sign of self-love.

I read an amazing post of Steven Bartlett on Instagram wherein he says

“Being selective about how you spend your time and who you spend your time with is a sign of self-respect.” – Steven Bartlett

19) Practice Gratitude

One of the healthy habits which we tend to ignore is practicing gratitude.

Practicing gratitude is like a continuous journey which makes you feel good about life and gives a positive perspective altogether.

There are a number of ways you can practice gratitude – by keeping a gratitude journal, gratitude prayer and being kind.

I have written a detailed post on how effective practicing gratitude is for your mental health.

20) Declutter Your Surroundings

A decluttered space brings you positive vibes and a clear mental state as well.

Take some time out daily for 15 minutes to clean your space especially on weekends so that throughout the week you don’t have to stress too much over cleanliness.

At least make your bed daily in the morning as soon as you wake up.

21) Stop Being Afraid Of Failure & START

Failure is something which can paralyze your thought process and you are so afraid to start anything which makes you feel uncomfortable.

Start taking baby steps and do not worry about the results. Focus on learning new things throughout the journey.

Also, remember it is okay to fail because at the end of the day you got to learn something new.

If you don’t start anything which makes you feel uncomfortable you won’t ever come out of your comfort zone. Also, you never know when these small steps can give you big results.

Words From The Lagom Lifestyle:

It’s high time we need to focus on ourselves and take care of our mental health.

Don’t be in a rush to take up all the goals together and go on with one at a time.

You have a full year to try these new habits and enjoy the process. Take things slowly and do not rush anything.

You might feel these are so basic points that I have mentioned but trust me sometimes the basics are the hardest to keep up with.

All the best for this New Year. I wish we could have the courage and move towards our dream life

Lots of Love, Sejal

#motivation #healthylifestyle #goals #reading goals #goalsetting #journaling #inspiration #setboundaries #drink water #you can do this #2021

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ebonybow · 5 years ago

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SO uh @blacktofade had a craving for shyanara and uh, specifically, ryan being loved and taken care of, and i had approximately a million ideas about that. i also had most of these written from planning a different fic that went a whole other direction. so here is some not-actually-fic i threw together, enjoy!!

(warnings: mentions of breakups. alcohol. brief sex mention.)

-the night the big blowout happens, late march, ryan leaves the apartment because he doesn’t know what else to do. for a while he sits in his car to gather his thoughts, but then he keeps looking up and seeing the light on in the apartment. knowing she’s up there, and knowing she doesn’t want him anymore— fuck, it’s the worst feeling in the world, so he turns the key in the engine and starts driving

-somehow, he ends up outside shane and sara’s complex

-he could have gone anywhere but he came here, because he needs... something

-shane opens the door and takes one look at ryan and he knows (because he knows ryan’s relationship has been on the rocks for a while now. he just opens the door wider to let ryan in)

-sara’s in the kitchen, about to open a bottle of wine. when she sees ryan, she stops, and she pulls out some whiskey instead (it’s leftover from christmas, and now she’s glad she didn’t throw it away)

-ryan doesn’t say anything, just sits on the couch with them while they watch some youtube stuff and maybe some netflix. eventually shane puts his arm around ryan and squeezes when he notices him shaking just a little bit

-sara has to go to bed, because she’s working in the morning, but she wakes again near 2am and she can hear them in the sitting room, talking, ryan crying sometimes, and it makes her so mad, so upset. she wants him to stop hurting, and she knows it’s going to take a long time for him to get better after this, but she also knows she and shane are going to do their best to help whatever way they can

-shane comes to bed when the sun is coming up, cuddles into sara for the hour before her alarm goes off and thinks about how lucky he is to have her

-ryan is asleep on the couch when sara gets up for work, blanket draped over him, glasses on the coffee table. she almost wants to go over there, touch his hair, kiss his forehead. she doesn’t

-that afternoon shane takes ryan and drives over to scott’s to pick up the twin bed he’s been trying to pawn off on shane for months now. when they get the pieces of the frame loaded into the car, ryan asks "what’s that for?” and shane says “for you, buddy,” and ryan looks like he’s about to cry again so shane just hugs him and says “if you need it.”

-they go to ryan’s apartment when there’s no one home and pack some of his things. it’s already looking strange and empty. no one is being forced out, there’s just too many memories for either of them to stay there

-he stays at sara and shane’s, slowly emptying out the old apartment into boxes that just get stacked up in what used to be sara’s office

-ryan feels so guilty about taking up her space, and she swears it’s fine, but he tells her that she can use it anyway while he’s out for the day

-sara wants to be able to give him privacy and his own space, but there’s also something really nice about working in there, surrounded by ryan’s things and the scent of his aftershave mixed with shane’s

-some nights the three of them curl up together on the sofa to watch movies, and shane gets too sleepy off the wine and slinks off to bed early

-sara doesn’t come to bed

-in the middle of the night shane finds ryan and sara snuggled up on the couch, empty wine bottles tucked down the side of the cushions. he drapes a blanket over them and leaves them some water for the morning

-they looks cute together but he doesn’t think too hard about it, because it makes his stomach feel funny

-shane and sara have date nights on a wednesday, they go out for dinner and whatever else takes their fancy

-usually they come back early-ish in the evening and just join ryan for some video games or tv, sometimes it’s later and they’re tipsy and giggly and want to talk until all hours. it’s rare that they come home so late that ryan’s already in bed, but it happens sometimes. he still hears them come in though, the walls in the apartment are thin enough

-they’re usually pretty quiet when they have sex and ryan’s used to having roommates from back in college. they’re all adults here, it doesn’t really bother him. sometimes he hears them laughing and that’s when he feels his own loneliness the most intensely. he misses a body next to him in bed

-one night, however, they're louder than usual

-they’d been dressed up even nicer than usual when leaving the house, came back drunk and clumsy. he hears sara falling out of her shoes in the hallway and shane laughing as he scoops her up. there’s a thump outside ryan’s bedroom door as someone careens into the wall, and sara hisses “shhh we’ll wake him”

-ryan rolls over, sticks his head under the pillow and tries to sleep, but he can hear them, and now he’s wide awake, and hard too because his stupid dick doesn’t know how to chill the fuck out (and also, he hasn’t gotten laid in. a long time. since months before the break up)

-but, god, sara sounds so fucking pretty and he’s gonna think about it for months to come (heh), he just knows it

-shane and sara are very hungover in the morning, but they’re glowing and happy, and sara shyly tells ryan it’s their anniversary. ryan kind of wants to cry

-he’s always looking for an apartment to move into but he’s not sure if he can afford something on his own and it’s so hard to find a roommate who isn’t a freak. he pays a portion of sara and shane’s rent, and he’s tidy, and they’re not complaining for the time being

-ryan’s pretty handy to have around too, likes tinkering with things and fixing things — and there are a lot of gadgets in the apartment that need fixing. ryan repairs a wobbly light switch in sara’s closet and she’s so pleased with him that he starts messing with other things, like shane’s speakers and maybe sara’s favorite fairy-lights in the bedroom, and their old slightly-broken coffee-maker

-shane looks so impressed when the coffee maker works for the first time in months, and even ruffles ryan’s hair a little about it

-he can’t fix all the broken things in the apartment (because he’s kind of scared of the landlord), but he really, really wishes he could

-towards the end of july ryan gets one of those ridiculous middle-of-summer viruses, and he’s burning up a fever. on the worst day, shane has to go into the office to talk about unsolved (because ryan’s sick and can’t be there for the meeting, at least one of them has to be) so sara stays home for the day to keep and eye on him. she makes him her mother’s soup, and watches him eat carefully while he’s all wrapped up in blankets and a little sweaty. sara lets herself pet his hair this time, kisses his forehead when he falls asleep as she tidies up

-half asleep and delirious, ryan says “thanks baby,” when she tucks him in, so she kisses him again, on the cheek this time

-when he wakes up in the evening he’s feeling much better, having sweated out most of his fever. sara sends him into the shower and orders his favourite thai food for dinner, and then shane arrives home too

-ryan gets out of the shower and dresses in the coziest clothes he can find. he walks out in sweatpants that are far too long, rolled up around the ankle, and shane does a double take, but he doesn’t say anything, just smiles and pats the couch cushion next to him for ryan to come join him

-clothes sharing becomes a free for all

-sara goes to work in ryan’s giant orange hoodie when the weather starts getting cooler (she still has to take it off in the middle of the day because it’s too warm, but in the morning and evening she’s grateful to stay toasty. plus, it smells good)

-shane and ryan wear pretty much the same size t-shirt (medium, they just fit a little differently on shane’s shoulders and ryan’s chest) so everything gets thrown in together

-on a wednesday night, shane asks if ryan wants to see a movie and ryan says yes without thinking. it isn’t until he’s sitting on sara’s left, shane on her right, that he realises it’s wednesday my dudes ahhhhhhhhhh

-he spends the whole night feeling guilty about it until they get home, and sara’s like “what’s eating ya, ry guy?" while taking off her jacket and ryan’s looking at her pretty dress, thinking about how she still dressed like it was a date night.

-ryan may have also dressed nicely for the occasion, without a second thought. he’s definitely second guessing it now

-he admits why he was acting weird, and shane’s like “hey man, we wouldn’t have asked you out if we didn’t want you there” and sara takes ryan’s hand and says “we promise, you’re never third wheeling with us” and shane makes some dumb joke about three wheels being sturdier than two and sara’s like “speaking of wheels, i know we just ate but i gotta order donuts” and that’s that

-they keep doing dinner and movies on a wednesday night

-ryan realizes he’s so much more deeply intwined in their daily routine than he ever thought. they have a groupchat where they decide what to have for dinner. they have a laundry rota (and ryan’s seen all of sara’s delicates, she doesn’t even care), even obi knows when it’s ryan’s turn to feed him

-speaking of obi, ryan’s allergies are a lot less severe now thanks to exposure. he even maybe loves the lil orange dude now

-one day shane catches ryan looking at apartment listings and he’s like “actually we wanted to talk to you about something”

-sara comes in and sits down too, and it’s all very serious, and ryan has this pit in his stomach and doesn’t know why until sara says “our lease will be up soon and this place is falling apart, we were thinking of looking for a bigger place, like a house maybe”

-ryan is thinking, ah, it was nice while it lasted, right until shane says “maybe with a pool, i know you’d love that”

-ryan’s brain does a record scratch

-he’s like “y-yeah, i would. i would love that”

-sara’s looking at him kind of funny, puts her hand over his and says “but we have a dilemma here, maybe we can sort this out now”

-ryan is still frozen. shane and sara are both looking at him, both looking nervous, and it feels like Too Much Attention

-shane says “hypothetically, if you were living with a couple who you also knew wanted to date you, would that be weird for you?”

-ryan’s like ?!!??!?!?!???? but manages a relatively chill “hypothetically?”

-sara sighs and spills the beans like “we’re asking you now, so you don’t get trapped. if you want to find an apartment for yourself, that’s fine. if you want to keep living with us that’s even better. we just want to lay everything down on the table so that you can make an informed decision”

-ryan must sit there for like, thirty seconds in silence. he can see sara getting antsy and anxious but he can’t make his brain work any faster

-“you guys are a couple”

-shane says, “ideally we wanna be a throuple,” and sara smacks him in the arm and hisses “shane” at him, and ryan just starts laughing, still has his hand in sara’s as he covers his stupid grinning mouth with the other

-“i— i’ve never dated two people at once”

-sara squeezes his hand and says “it’s ok we’ll take it slow”

-shane says “well. as slow as moving into a house together can be considered”

-and when ryan thinks about it, he can’t imagine this happening any other way. sara and shane were the ones he went to when he needed comfort the most. he didn’t even have to think about it, he just ended up at their door, knowing he’d be welcome

-it might have taken a them a slightly convoluted journey to get where they are, but ryan wouldn’t have done it any other way

-he’s really excited about the pool

#fie writes #shyanara #i was just gonna dm all this to jo this morning but i'm an idiot and wrote so much #MY B

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loreweaver-universe · 5 years ago

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And with the faded end credits theme itself fading into nothing...Infinity Train has concluded.

I think I am...content.

Content is a good word. That ending brought things to a close in, appropriately, a way I find very peaceful. Tulip’s worked through her issues. She’s ready to face her family. She’s ready to face the world. She’s ready, in fact, for anything. And what she’s found...is peace.

Minda said in chat that he thinks the show is a metaphor for using fiction to deal with your problems, and I think I agree with that. A core part of experiencing fiction is finding ways we can relate to it. The characters, the events, the higher-level themes of the story--we all try to find something of ourselves in fiction, and whether we succeed or not, even the most brain-dead action blockbuster changes the way we look at ourselves just a little. (Even if it’s just to the degree that now you have a new action movie fantasy to daydream about.) The stuff we lose ourselves in the most is, ironically, the stuff we find ourselves in the most.

The stuff we find ourselves in the most, the stuff that speaks to us, that lets us know, hey, I understand, I get it, is oftentimes the stuff we can best use to work through our own problems. It doesn’t always have to be something profound, though. Sometimes it just has to be a rock; sometimes an episode of Pokemon can be just what you needed to get through the day, to get things off your mind for half an hour. Sometimes we just need something to metaphorically listen to our problems, the media equivalent of a teddy bear. Both ends of the media spectrum can be used to help work our way through the issues plaguing us. Find whatever helps you the most; the people who care won’t judge.

I expressed some discomfort with leaving Amelia behind, but in light of the show being that kind of metaphor, I think thematically it’s better this way. You can’t drag someone to their answers, to making peace with themselves or their traumas; you can push, and prod, and offer a helping hand, but you can’t force someone to find those solutions. They have to do it for themselves.

Amelia has a lot of work to do before she can go home, before she’s able to find any measure of peace. I’ve been down a deep hole before, myself; I’ve been to the point where I didn’t feel much hope for the future, for a future without constant pain or self-abuse. I know a little of what she must be thinking, with that massive reminder of her own failings written in glowing green across every spare inch of flesh. And...not everybody makes it. Not everyone comes out the other side at all, let alone in one piece. Some people stay bogged down in their troubles forever. Some don’t...stick around. It’s okay to have weakness. It’s okay to be afraid; it’s a terrible, rough road ahead, in many cases. It’s a scary thing. It’s a painful thing.

But it’s better than letting your pain swallow you.

Tulip...man, Tulip is such a good character. We really got to see her journey from a sad, angry teenager through hope and dismay and fear to a peaceful conclusion. I really love well-completed arcs like that. She’s truly found her way home in more senses than one, and if I seem to be saying little about her, know that much of this post HAS been about her.

Infinity Train was an incredibly satisfying show to watch. I love the comedy, I love the horror, I love the emotional ride it took me on--especially in the last few episodes. I got to spend an extra few days thinking Atticus was dead, too, which I’m sure is making this catharsis extra sweet. Oh, but that would have been the second episode of the day on day 4 for the rest of you, wouldn’t it? What a fun cliffhanger >:)

Anyways, I highly recommend it. It’s a good show! Tell your friends it has the Loreweaver Seal of Approval!

As far as this specific episode, The Engine comes in at my new #1 for the series, eclipsing The Chrome Car, for its satisfying emotional conclusion and wrapping up its character arcs in such a good way. I’m very happy with it.

What’s up next? Well, on Wednesday I’m going to start this month’s Patron Picks off with Paranoia Agent. I’m going to plow through all three, because apparently we get new Steven Universe episodes this month! I’m excited to see what the new series is like! Aside from that, when I get the chance I’ll be streaming my blind playthrough of my first-ever Fire Emblem game, Three Houses! You can find what I’ve uploaded to Youtube already here, or find my Twitch channel here. I hope to see you guys there!

IN OTHER NEWS:

I recently started a blind playthrough of my first-ever Fire Emblem game, Three Houses! You can watch all the streams that I’ve uploaded to Youtube by clicking here!

If you’d like to help me pay my rent, buy me some food, or help with my bills and medicine, please use my direct donation link! If you’d like to support me per liveblog completed every month, please pledge to my Patreon! Becoming a patron not only allows you to vote on what shows I do whenever I choose a new one, but also grants access to the community Minecraft server to $5 patrons or higher!

You should also go pledge to Gio’s Patreon–our Discord server maintenance tech, creator of Rubybot, and community Minecraft server overlord deserves far more than I can afford to pledge to him by myself.

If you’d like more of me and my content:

My Episode Lists master page, where you can find every show and liveblog I’ve done!

My Discord server, where you can come hang out with me and other fans, check out member liveblogs, and join community gaming guilds!

My Twitch channel, where I stream variety games once in a blue moon!

My Youtube channel, where you can check out past streams!

My ask blog, where you can send me questions and comments!

It’s your kindness and support that lets me do this stuff, and I wouldn’t be where I am without all of you to do it for. Thank you all so much for your support, and for tuning in every episode!

OTHER PEOPLE YOU MAY ENJOY:

I may have been one of the earlier Steven Universe liveblogs, but a whole community of livebloggers has sprung up over the last three years! I linked to a bunch individually for a few wrap-ups, but honestly, this end-slate is already eight billion miles long, so I’m just gonna link to my links page. Click here if you want recommendations of other livebloggers, or other neat people, or webcomics and podcasts that I recommend.

#infinity train #infinibloggin #bloggin #infinity train episode 10 #inf10 #episode wrap up #series wrap up

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dirtydobrik · 5 years ago

Text

ticket to la - d.d.

plot: you live in canada and are close friends with natalie. after some convincing, you buy a ticket to la to visit her, and learn who david dobrik is. you and david quickly become best friends, and david always buys you plane tickets to visit him.

requested: yes, by anon! Meeting david through natalie and immediately clicking with him and becoming close friends and you lived in canada or etc but david often missed you so he would fly you out and you would just hangout a lot. You became like a second LA best friend (cos nobody can replace our queen Nat) !!

author’s note: hi! this was requested anonymously so hopefully it was something similar to what you wanted. if you want to send in a request for an imagine, send me a message!

word count: 2,284

masterlist

You had met Natalie while you were both on a cruise almost five years ago. And yet, somehow, you two still kept in touch. For months, she has been trying to convince you to visit her in LA, especially after hearing you complain about the cold Canadian weather for months. But you could never justify spending the money on a plane ticket, so you got a second job, now working as a nanny and as a lifeguard at the indoor pool in your town's gym in order to afford one. Natalie said she would pick you up from the airport, so you sent her a text that you landed while waiting for your suitcase at the baggage claim. The airport was busy, but you weren't surprised, it was LAX. You pulled your hoodie off, not expecting such heat in the middle of the winter.

You stood outside, waiting for Natalie to arrive. She pulled up about five minutes later, and what you weren't expecting was there to be a guy in the front seat. Natalie hopped out of the passenger seat and ran over to hug you, your arms extended and welcoming of the hug, despite the heat making you sweat.

"You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend," you whispered, nudging her shoulder and nodding your head towards the guy sitting in the driver's seat.

"What? No, I don't," Natalie laughed. "That's David, my best friend."

You climbed into the back seat, introducing yourself to David. He turned around to say hi and shake your hand, and you were immediately captivated by his soft brown eyes. A black baseball cap covered his dark hair and half of his face, but you could still see his eyes, and you had to look away before you got any more lost in them. On the drive back to his place, you would catch him sneaking glances at you in the rearview mirror and you would feel yourself blush.

He offered to bring your suitcase into the house when you pulled up, and wouldn’t take no for an answer, even though you tried to tell him you could do it yourself.

"Welcome to my home," he grinned as we walked inside. He put your suitcase down in the guest bedroom before offering to give you a tour of his place. Natalie had to take a call, leaving you alone with David.

"What are all of these awards for?" you asked, examining the shelf in the front entrance. David came up behind you.

"They're from my vlogs," he said nonchalantly.

"You make vlogs?" You were surprised you didn’t know who he was, especially considering how close you and Natalie were. You figured she would've told you more about her friends, especially the guy friend she was living with.

You and David started talking about his YouTube channel, and you drifted over to the couch where he put a few vlogs on the TV. He also showed you the one he was currently editing.

"I can't believe Natalie never told you about me," David repeated. He was in shock that he was never mentioned in a conversation between you and Nat.

"I guess we have more important things to talk about," you shrugged.

"Yeah, David. The world doesn't revolve around you," Natalie said, startling both of you. She joined you two on the couch, changing the conversation to what David wanted her to pick up for dinner and if he knew he needed anything in particular for his next vlog.

"Chipotle, and I'll text you if I think of anything," David replied instantly. Natalie nodded and asked if you wanted to come with her, which you agreed. You wanted to learn more about David, still shocked that Natalie never talked about living with a famous YouTuber.

Once you were safely out of David's ear shot, you turned to Natalie, "Why, exactly, didn't you tell me about David?"

"I didn’t want you to use me for him. So many people have," she sighed.

"But you've known me for years, you know I wouldn't do that."

"You've known me since before I moved to LA, I didn’t want to think anything different about me if you knew I was living with a famous YouTuber." Her reasoning made sense, but there was no way for you to have known about her life in LA aside from what she told since you didn’t use social media.

Over the week you were in LA, you and David became close friends. You felt an instant comfort around him, feeling like you could just immediately tell him anything. It was the same type of friendship you had with Natalie, and when it was time to leave, you were leaving behind two friends in LA, not just one. You cried at the airport saying goodbye to Natalie, promising to visit again soon.

About a month after your visit to LA, your phone vibrated, and it was a text from David: going to be in chicago for the weekend for an event. come visit me!!!

You also got an email a few minutes later with flight information for a Friday afternoon flight to Chicago.

"David, what the fuck?" you said into the phone, immediately calling him after reading the email. "I can't believe you just bought me a plane ticket."

"I'm also covering the hotel. I miss you, and Natalie will be stuck in LA for a different event so I'll be lonely."

"I miss you too, but I can't let you pay for everything."

"It's already done. It'll be a waste of money if you don't come out, now won’t it," David argued, and you couldn’t fight him on this. He had already paid for everything, and you couldn't not take advantage of it.

"Okay, I'll see Friday night in Chicago," you sighed, and David promised to pick you up from the airport.

On Friday afternoon, you were on your way to the airport to go to Chicago for the weekend. You couldn't believe how crazy it was that you were travelling to hang out with some friends.

David was waiting at the airport for you like he promised, getting out of the car to give you a hug before grabbing your bag and putting it the backseat.

"I missed you," he said, settling into the driver's seat.

"David, we facetime at least twice a week. And you butt in every time I facetime Natalie."

He pouted, "Natalie does the same with me."

You drove to the hotel, catching up on what had happened in the last two days since you facetimed David and Natalie. You felt like yourself when you were with David. He was so easy to talk to and there was never any judgment with anything you told him. That night, you two bonded. It was the first time you two had hung out without Natalie, and although you knew a lot about David from facetime calls, it was different when the two of you were alone together. And while you still loved Natalie, you and David had an unspeakable connection. Something pulled the two of you together, and you wished you had known him your entire life.

That weekend flew by, and by the time David dropped you off at the airport, he was already on the phone with Natalie trying to figure out when you could visit them in LA again.

David had soon become your best friend, and you hated the fact that you lived so far away. He hated it too, but at least he had Natalie. You had neither of them. It was heartbreaking that you couldn't just call them to hang out on a Thursday night, but instead, everything had to be planned around three different schedules. You tried to see them as often as possible, David even offering to pay for your flight every time. You would get emails after hanging up a facetime call with details for your flight that would be the following night, and you would jump around in excitement that you got to see your best friend again.

The cycle of David buying you plane tickets continued for months since you lived in Canada and he couldn't come visit you. He would call you and say Natalie was going out of town, or that she missed you and wanted you to visit, or that he had an event in another city that he wanted you to come to. There was always a reason for you to get on the flight, no matter where it was to. You just couldn't say no to David Dobrik. You were flying from Toronto to LA or another US city and back again at least once or twice a month to hang out with David and Natalie, and while it was a lot, you were enjoying it.

Trips to LA were your favorite. David would fly you out for the weekend just to hang out. The weather was always nice and you loved getting to know the rest of their friend group. But you, David, and Natalie had become a trio, and people knew that. Their friends knew that when you were in town, David would hardly film unless absolutely necessarily. He wanted to enjoy his time with you, since he knew you would be leaving again. Most of the time you were visiting, you watched movies in his living or ate Chipotle and talked. You could talk with David and Natalie for hours and never run out of things to say.

"David, I can pay for my own flight," you sighed. You were currently facetiming with David and you had told him that you wanted to fly out to LA this weekend. It had been almost a year since you first visited Natalie in LA, and you couldn’t believe how close you had gotten with David.

"No, I want to do it. When are you flying in?"

"Saturday morning."

"And what day are you leaving?" he asked, and you hesitated. You wanted to wait until Natalie was with David before sharing your news.

"Hey, can you go get Natalie? I need to ask her something. She mentioned something about me staying until Tuesday since there was an event she wanted me to go to." David nodded, getting up off the couch and returning moments later with Natalie.

When both of them were seated, you asked Natalie about the event. She said it was Monday night, and that Tuesday afternoon would be the best flight to take home.

"Okay, so," you started, getting both of their attention. "I actually only need a one-way ticket. I'm moving to LA."

You watched both of their jaws drop and their eyes widen as they tried to process the news. Pretty soon they were talking over each other trying to ask questions.

"When did you decide this?" Natalie asked while David asked "Where are you living?"

"Calm down," you insisted, getting both of them to quiet down for a moment.

"I can't believe you're moving out here," David whispered, not being able to wrap his mind around it.

"I know, it’s crazy. We won’t have to schedule times to facetime or deal with a time difference anymore."

"How did you decide this? How long have you known? Where are you living? Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Their questions overlapped, and you laughed. You explained to them that when you had initially visited Natalie you were already considering moving here, needing a change from Canada. You looked into getting a job and renting an apartment, and both had happened about a month ago. You told them that you didn’t say anything sooner because you didn’t want to jinx yourself and have something fall through.

They quickly congratulated you, David now insisting that he pay for your flight out since it would be your last one, and you let him.

The day you arrived in LA, David and Natalie greeted you at the airport, beyond excited that you were here to stay. They told you that they had a surprise, but the last thing you were expecting was a fully furnished and decorated apartment.

"You guys didn't have to do this," you gasped, walking around the apartment, admiring all of the subtle details.

"Come on, you just moved to a new country, decorating your apartment is the least we could do," Natalie smiled, and you pulled her into a hug.

"I love you, guys," you grinned.

"Cheers to moving to America!" David exclaimed, popping open a bottle of champagne. You all watched as it bubbled over and landed on to the white carpet he was standing on. Natalie snatched the bottle from him and carefully poured it into three glasses, and you made a toast.

"A year ago, it had taken Natalie months to convince me to visit her. I saved up for a month and even got a second job to afford a flight. I had no clue who David was and I had no idea that a year later I would be best friends with him or that I would be standing in an apartment in Los Angeles. This move has been a year in the making and I am so glad to have my best friends by my side. Cheers to moving to LA from Toronto, and to finally being about to see my best friends every single day," you said, clinking your glass with David's and Natalie's. You couldn’t think of a time you had been happier and you beyond grateful to have the two greatest people in your life. You were more than ready to no longer need a plane ticket to LA to see your best friends.

#david dobrik #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik fanfiction #david dobrik one shot #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik fluff #soft david dobrik #best friend!david #david dobrik fic #david dobrik blurb #natalie mariduena #david dobrik x you

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