#if the ramble is a problem i can absolutely delete and make a separate post

[slywhisker]

firestar should’ve just made squirrelflight his deputy. i know something something it was supposed to be adjacent to brambleclaw’s arc of not being evil & firestar trusting him, but his arc was pretty poorly executed regardless. he wasn’t an interesting leader (storylines surrounding his leadership are interesting, his personality/leadership style didn’t do much to make them that way) nor is he that likable. yeah, thunderclan is pretty much dominated & run by fire descendants but like, that’s the nature of fire being the original main character. i’m more baffled that squirrelflight is still alive at this point?!

(in actuality i wouldn’t change this, wouldn’t have wanted squirrelflight to be possessed, bramble being leader is crucial to the imposter concept which is actually a pretty fascinating storyline. this is a dead end post i just don’t like brambleclaw/star!!)

The queen and her filthy fur rug husband

[damnation-if]

Hi, I just played the demo and I loved it! I was wondering if you could give us an estimate of when the next update is coming?👉👈 (Or link a relevant post, if you already talked about and I just didn't scroll down far enough to see it 😆)

Also, I wanted to check, can you be in a romantic relationship with more than one character, and not just a sexual one? Because I might be in love with every single character in this game 🤭

hi, thank you! i'm glad you're enjoying the game :) i've answered the question about romancing multiple characters a couple of times in a couple of different asks but the posts all kind of link back to each other so you should be able to find all the info by. following the various links in each ask i think, starting here XD

i'm going to put the answer to your other question under a cut because some of it is quite emotional for me

i did Sort Of talk about this at the time when it happened, by which i mean that rather than making a post, i talked about it in the tags of an unrelated post i was using to distract myself (i think it was character playlists and how i'm not sure if it's a good idea to do them or not if i recall), but earlier this year while i was already going through a really rough time, my laptop died and i lost a lot of work on the game.

i knew my laptop was old and that this was possibly approaching so i made regular backups and the good news is that because i write in a separate word document and keep backups of those also i didn't actually lose any Writing. however. my twine has a problem in that every second or third game file that i publish from the build is Haunted - it contains passages i removed weeks ago, or writing that i deleted long before publishing it, that kind of weird annoying shit. (other authors have seen my files do this lmfao) and i just have to hope that the backups i make either won't be needed or aren't haunted. anyway... because hope is futile, the last backup i made was indeed haunted, and utterly useless to me as a recovery file. because it's just twine, i still have all the writing, as i mentioned... but i would have to re-code the entire chapter and put it all back together again because of how much the file did not export, which is a complicated and daunting process.

so i made a rambling explanation of this in the tags of a post and decided to take maybe a couple of days off and cool down from this specific disaster before getting into it.

i wake up the next morning to find the IF community absolutely plastered all over with Helpful Informative PSA posts about how Silly it is not to make backups and how if you just make backups you'll never have problems again and you should know better than to not make backups.

now. i'm not a catastrophist. i know for a fact that nobody was making or spreading these posts out of cruelty or a desire to make me feel bad. i also know that it's not particularly realistic to expect people who don't even know me to hunt down the source of a piece of hearsay that's like "i heard from someone that someone said that an author lost a bunch of their files and is really upset about it" to find out what the situation is and whether or not it's what they imagine. i don't even think the vast majority of people knew who it was that was the author involved, or who i am either.

but to already be going through an extremely stressful time and then lose my laptop on top of that and then be obliquely referenced by people i thought of as my peers as kind of just a big silly bumbling goose who didn't know how to manage my files and a "don't be like this person" attitude really, really hurt me. i can't express just how deeply it hurt me. one particular author was openly laughing at me and saying it was my own fault for being too stupid to make backups using a certain twine peripheral program.

so. there was a period of time where i could have found the motivation to just restart the whole chapter myself and re-code it in a frenzy because i wanted to get right back into writing it because. like a lot of authors, i LOVE writing. that's why i do this even when it's difficult. but that potential recovery was sandblasted away by the reactions of people that i thought of as my colleagues in some sense (even though i understand that they didn't do it with bad intentions, in most cases). and i hope people can understand that it greatly lengthened the amount of time i needed to spend away from the game recovering emotionally, despite being a Very Small issue to most people. i'm literally upset again just typing out this answer lmfao

however one other small piece of good news is that my laptop seemingly just lost the ability to turn itself on (because of its age) so i Think the hard drive is intact. meaning that i think i can get someone to pull all the files off it and just have them back fine once i do. the other piece of bad news is that my life is a trainwreck! and i cannot afford that right now. which is why i sort of pivoted to writing the 2000 follower celebration sidegame as a way to enjoy myself while i hurtle through hell sdjgbdfhfdgh

shortly after this thing with the laptop the house i was living in was sold out from underneath me, even though it wasn't supposed to be, and i had to find somewhere to live with my 18 year old cat, but the city i lived in had zero places that would allow cats (they're totally fine with Dogs though of course) so i had to move to an entirely new city on my own while worrying about her health. and right now i spend every fortnight desperately trying to scrape together enough to survive the next fortnight. there were entire months where i had no access to internet! it's been pretty Bad!!

so i get that people really want updates, and i'm really flattered that people do and it makes me happy that people like the game so much. but i am currently expending so much time and energy trying not to die lmfao, and i need to save up the money to get my files back around that. i truly cannot tell you when the next update will be, but i promise you that it Haunts me, probably more than you can imagine XD the sidegame will Definitely come out before it though, if that's something you're looking forward to.

thank you again for your message, and i'm sorry that i don't have good news for you. but i am trying, constantly. every day.

[stormblessed95]

Vminkook Dynamics Pt. 2

Back again! The first part of this i talked/rambled about Vmin, so you can go check that one out if you haven't already! I'll focus mostly on Taekook in pt 2 here. Fair warning, if you are here for a Taekook analysis for the purpose of thinking they are romantically involved, you probably do not want to keep reading. Taekook are a beautiful and amazing pair, but I don't see romance at all there. So if that's what you are here for, move along! And please don't come for me over it either. I love this duo so much. I'm sharing my personal opinions here and everyone is of course free to disagree and form their own. I will say that if you do believe Taekook are romantically involved, that's fine, as long as you are respectful towards my opinion AND all the other members, especially Jimin. If I get any toxic comments or "asks" after this post, I will just be deleting them. 💜

TaeKook

I will be flooding this post with super cute Taekook gifs BTW. Just a warning. Prepare yourselves! We are all just here to appreciate the beautiful bond these 2 have! Tae and JK don't have a unit song together yet like Vmin do, but go support them and listen to their most recent songs! Including Blue & Grey and Stay, which were originally for their respective mixtapes! And Stream Butter!!

Tae and Jungkook are so precious. They are the babies of the group, the maknaes. Jimin is in the maknae line, yes, but he has a few months on Tae and sometimes takes care of these 2 as a hyung. They love causing general chaos and are troublemakers. There is never a dull moment whenever they are together! Just like the rest of BTS, they have no problems being physically close and up in each others space. Like I said before, BTS all lack a lot of boundaries with each other, taekook is no exception. Jungkook attributes a lot of his personal ability to grow into his own self and the idol he is today to Taehyung. It's beautiful. I'll separate this out like I did with vmin and talk about their emotional bond and their physical bond and then I'll touch briefly on why I think this ship is also purely a platonic love.

In the earliest clips we see of Taekook, they are obviously very close. Its impossible not to see. I think this might be why they attracted some attention as a duo (they also sound hella fine together, duh) but the shipping content from when the maknaes were minors makes me very uncomfortable, so I won't touch too much on that. What I will say is that JK has said many times that Tae helped him out of his shell and be comfortable in the dorm and on stage. We can absolutely see this in old clips. We see Tae literally taking Jungkook under his wing. Taehyung has an extremely social, outgoing, bright personality. He has the vibe around him that makes it easy for other people to open up and relax around him. We see Tae bop under his chin or his nose affectionately, or make sure he is eating, encouraging him to open up more and get into things during practice. We see Tae has a fascination with yanking on JKs ears for some reason, i don't know, but it's cute.. Jungkook has told us that he was uncomfortable with a lot skin ship when he first moved into the dorm, was struggling with crippling shyness and anxiety about preforming well, being so far from home and living with people who he truly didn't know super well yet in such a small space and i love that Tae helped him with that.

He has told us about how he used to stay up late waiting for everyone else to fall asleep so he could shower in privacy, getting even less sleep on an already tight training schedule. We know all the other guys were practically showering on top of each other trying to rush through getting ready with 6 of them in their small ass dorm bathroom. We even know that they have even showered together in efforts to save time/space. Like I said, extreme lack of boundaries. Tae was even named the most likely culprit i believe to crash someone else's shower (i think) and Jimin has gone on record of feeling someone brush against his legs while showering and originally thinking it was Namjoon (turns out it was a ghost, but I'd personally like to know why he thought Joon was between his legs during a shower... moving on). Jungkook refused to shower around them until Tae finally had enough of him losing the little sleep time they had, dragged his ass into the shower and stripped him naked, forcing this first step on him. Now before you go making mountains out of molehills, I say force, but no member is actually forceful with each other. Tae gave Jungkook the needed and required push to get over this boundary he had with the hyungs so that he could start getting more sleep and taking better care of himself. And it worked. He knew how to support JK in breaking down these boundaries for him and for the rest of the group.

Tae and Kookie both are tactile people. In Tae we see this in everything that he does, we see this mostly in JK when he is anxious or nervous or not in what he considers a normal habitat, such as interviews. We see him consistently want to touch or mess with whoever is sitting next to him. We see Tae latch onto all the members with ease. I adore seeing Taekook cuddling and seeking that comfort they both enjoy together. They both have an ease with skinship together, and I love seeing it knowing that JK was initially thrown off by how touchy Bangtan was at first. He has truly embraced it and basks in it now. I love this for him. We see their physical bond in the cuddles, like from BV and ITS. We see it in the causal hair playing madness. We see it in the piggyback rides and arms tossed around shoulders. We see their bond in their many MANY elaborate handshakes.. We see them comfortable flirting on stage during songs together. It's amazing and I love to see it. We see their bond everytime they sit together and giggle over whatever mischief they are making. One of my favorite episodes highlighting this was the RUN episode of JK with the green highlights, MiniMoni in the flower punishment pants, and BTS had challenges in that room full of arcade type stuff in 2020. TK laughing over slime, giggling over karaoke, climbing on top of the basketball machines together. If we are honest, their bond mostly consists of them pushing each other's boundaries and limits to the point where they occasionally piss each other off and/or wrecking havoc together. They called each other their commonality, meaning that they are similar, they share alot of similar attributes and think the same way. I don't know what to say other than I see that in them and I love that for them! They are basically the epitome of the annoying but loveable little brothers in the group!

What I don't see here, is romance. Now please don't come for me. This does not mean they do not love each other or care about each other. And when I say, they aren't close enough for there to be any romance there, that doesn't mean they aren't close and it has nothing to do with their lack of boundaries (see above lol). Yes, they have an emotional connection, but its not a deep one. You rarely see them seek each other out when they are having a bad day or are overly emotional. The most prominent time I remember this happening was during the MAMA 2018 speech, where they spoke about almost disbanding and Tae cried in kookie's arms. They usually seek out other members though.

We also have the In the Soop conversation. Which honestly shouldn't have come as a surprise to anyone who has been actually following their content and interactions. The only part that surprised me was that they filmed it and put it out there for everyone to see. Which honestly was so brave and such an inspiration that having those types of conversations is a GOOD thing and nothing to be stigmatized or ashamed of. I was SO PROUD of them for being willing to share that with us. But this by itself should have shown there is no romance involved in that friendship. They said they tried to get together to talk about this topic multiple times already before, but one or the other would never respond or not make it a priority. Tae was nervous about trying to get Jungkook to sit down with him and resorted to asking Jimin to make sure it happened, that also negates any romance. You don't need a third party to organize your sit downs otherwise. Jungkook said that when Tae would ask him to drop formalities and treat him as a same age friend for years in the past (a big deal in korea, would have really shown how close their are and how tight their bond is) he said no and he wasn't comfortable dropping the boundaries and respect behind the honorifics. This showed how Tae possibly wanted a closer friendship, but it never got to that point. They each said how they had drifted apart, how their personalities are not the same, how their dynamics changed as they got older. This is all SO NORMAL. And it was incredibly refreshing to see them talk so openly about it. The rest of the series had some absolutely precious taekook moments and I love knowing that they took the time to talk these issues out.

Again, like with vmin, the skinship is not what makes a relationship romantic or we would have to take another look at what those OT7 poly shippers have been saying. Lol and the bedroom eyes that V gives Jungkook, is also like I said with vmin, he gives them to everyone and their mother. The way Tae responded to the fan on Weverse, saying to get out of your imagination. The way that Tae was shocked when Jungkook showed up and said he wanted to share a car with him this time, not believing him and then not being surprised when he never actually did. Their flirting on stage has them both trying not to crack up, almost like a game of chicken.... whose going to take the flirt the farthest and who will break first? Lol they have fun together, I love to see it!

Honestly even their shippers noticed the difference in their interactions over the years. The amount of complaints I saw about how from 2016 through 2019 there was a huge taekook drought. This was what brought on all the various theories about TK being hidden or forced apart, etc. I won't talk too much about that though, I went on my rant about the TK shippers in my last post. But This is exactly why that ITS moment should not have been a surprise. But I have noticed a drastic increase in interactions, skinship and sweet moments between Tae and Jungkook since their conversation ITS and I think its beautiful. It's obvious that conversation did something really good for them and they are both making conscious decisions to try and get closer again and to make more of an effort to cherish their friendship with each other. Its so important to nurture the platonic relationships in your life just as much as any others. Those friendships play a huge role in mental, physical and emotional health for people! I'm so happy for them to be rebuilding their relationship to even better levels and can't wait to see what comes from it! Cross your fingers for a subunit song, their voices together would slay my heart 💜

Another thing that factors into why I don't think there is anything romantic happening between Taekook is the fact that they both tend to favor Jimin. They both have a stronger emotional bond with Jimin, etc etc. I'll touch more on that in part 3 though because this is already so long. I'm so sorry! Lol I'll focus a bit on jikook and how Taekook love Jimin in the next part for sure. I love this duo and I love their bond! Appreciate it for what it is!

As always, these are my personal opinions. You are free to form your own, I just encourage that you form them by watching original content and observing all the members interacting together along with just the "ship." Every bond in bts is precious and deserves so much appreciation! BTS honestly is teaching me a lot about how to be the best type of friend I can be!

See you in part 3!

[thebreakdownisthebecoming]

just a place to put things.

Once upon a time I had two accounts here. One, a photography blog that was accidently deleted. The other, a yoga blog, intentionally deleted. The yoga blog was called, “the enlightenment of an aspiring yogi,” and for a while, I actually wrote some pretty beautiful posts. And that’s the problem... “for a while.” Everything about my journaling and blogging is just “for a while.” Consistency is my biggest problem. Which is kind of crazy because I like writing (handwriting and typing) and I love reading. And I am introspective to a fault. Literally, introspection to the point of an anxiety disorder, moderate depression, body dysmorphia, and increasingly more social isolation (which I can no longer conveniently blame on COVID and social distancing, etc.)

So what is the problem with journaling (or blogging as I guess this electronic version is technically called)? Well, several:

1. I always think that I need to have a great introduction. Something that states my intentions and in case it ever is read by a wide audience (because who knows who’s scouring the internet) is captivating and charming and vulnerable and leads to a book deal...

2. I get so lost in my thoughts and analyzing my feelings that my ONE thing I was going to write about suddenly turns into 10 tangents and a never ending entry/post that really justifies 10 separate posts yet is just endless rambling.

3. My brain is ACTUALLY hardwired to not start processing anything about myself until it hits the pillow, then suddenly it’s imperative that I get to the core of every thought and feeling I’ve experienced not only in that day, but my entire lifetime.

4. I actually do a lot better making connections or “assessing the damage” or “realizing my triggers and traumas” or whatever you want to label it, when I am talking- usually out loud to myself in the car.

This last point is actually the most important I think. Even though I know I’m not, I feel like I am the only person that out of the blue will start talking to myself as if another person is in the room with me, telling them about something that hurt or bothered me, today or ten years ago. Just pick up middle of an ongoing conversation I didn’t even know I was having with my subconscious and suddenly have it RIGHT NOW. And it has to be that unplanned element that is the magic of it; when my brain starts putting things together and it all comes pouring out of... my head? my heart? my mouth. Because the minute I tell myself, “no we’re going to think about/work though/handle this situation or feeling” or “we’re going to write about this later...” no more magic. It’s suddenly a thing we have to do.

I also get frustrated because I feel like I’m not explaining it well. If anyone were ever to read this, people today are NOT interested in reading long anythings. We want headlines, quotes, 30 second videos, “stories,” captions... Which means that the space and words you do get, you better make sure you are picking the absolute right ones to get your point across. And that’s a lot of pressure. I know we’ve all heard that when we feel alone in our thoughts/feelings it simply isn’t true because so many can relate... which is hard, because our pain and our stories are just that, OURS, but the bigger sentiment is that we’ve all felt pain and we all want that to be recognized. And to do that, we want to find the words that are uniquely ours. 

The things is, I think there’s a lot of value to journaling (whether others read it or not.) I think I’m programmed to write for an audience, like this post is talking to you not me. Realistically, I know I will be the only one who ever knows of it’s existence and that’s ok. The value is not in how many people read and respond (which is hard to remember in our world of likes and follows) but in creating a space for myself. A place to tackle a thought, leave fresh ones, maybe eventually look back and see a bigger picture, or growth, or healing.

I’ve collected some prompts for myself which I think might be the best way to tackle this (although free form is also “allowed.) And I like the idea of typing because faster and no hand cramps, hello Millennial. 

Here now is also the pressure for the perfect closing- the end to this post but the beginning of a new habit or journey or something... (still doubtful of my consistency.) But here’s the thing, this is just space, and it’s going to treated as such. Space to lay down any words, any thoughts... and to see what’s there when you step back, also what’s there when you get up close and start sifting through. Just a place to put things for now...

[thewritinghole]

Tips on keeping your scenes engaging

So I’ve been getting a few messages lately to the effect of “I’m not sure how to keep my descriptions interesting” or “I don’t know how to make this scene sound more interesting.” So while I could answer each of them one by one, it’s been a while since I’ve personally made a post on this blog and it’s a common problem anyway, so here’s some advice on constructing an engaging scene that I find to be helpful in my writing.

Learn how to juggle dialogue and descriptions. One of the biggest problems I see in beginning writers is they don’t yet know how to simultaneously describe a scene (what it looks like, what the characters are doing, etc.) and also keep dialogue between characters going. The trick here is not to lump all of your description in one big long paragraph and then have a long stretch of dialogue; instead, make the two weave in together so that you’re doing both at the same time and cutting out any unnecessary rambling.

Make sure you’re not adding unnecessary dialogue or details. If a scene drags, it might be because you’re spending too long on one bit of the story that doesn’t really matter. A scene where your characters are learning about the country they’re going to is fine, but don’t bog the reader down with a bunch of superfluous information about their economic structure or what the trees look like in autumn. Similarly, writing dialogue can be fun, but having your characters ramble at each other and not really get anywhere is just as boring. Everything you write needs to be moving the plot forward and be absolutely necessary for the reader’s understanding of the book.

If the content is what’s boring, try introducing a major event. Again, every scene needs to exist for a specific reason. If you feel like your prose isn’t what’s the problem, maybe ask yourself if the scene itself is dragging because it doesn’t really seem to be going anywhere. A scene in which all of your characters sit around and talk can be good for character development, but it may not feel like enough action is going on to justify it. Try adding in some sort of major event, or even ending the scene sooner so you can get to the major event that it necessitates.

If the scene isn’t working out, kill your darlings. Following up on that last point, if you’ve tried that and can’t figure out how to work an event into the scene or how to make it better, sometimes you just have to let it go. This is especially true if you’re only keeping the scene around because you really like it, even if you can’t figure out how to make it work. If I’m on the brink of deleting an entire scene from my project, usually I’ll copy/paste it into a new file, save it separately, and then cut it from my project. That way, if I decide I need to keep it, I can always pull it back up without having to worry.

Helpful links:

Writer’s Digest’s 10 Ways to Launch Strong Scenes

Writer’s Edit’s 6 Quick Tips For Writing Gripping Scenes

8 Steps to Writing a Perfect Scene—Every Time

How to write a scene: Purpose and structure