#if ted is 35 like the starkid wiki says and pete is 18

[totallyasloth]

okay but why did the urge to write a fic in which ted is pete's biological father strike me at 4 am???

hear me out: jenny left because ted got her pregnant after a one night stand, leaving baby pete on the spankoffski's doorstep. ted's parents decide that they'll raise pete as their own with ted as his brother because they don't think ted is responsible enough to raise a kid. this is also the reason they send ted to abstinence camp.

idk if it'd change much but like... food for thought I guess?? might write this after my check please au and angsty soulmate oneshots

[fangirlynjunk]

Adding more to my thought process about Jerry, Jeri, and Max because I know some people might be squinting about ages, and the way I understand it the best personally.

I am using the starkid wiki to get these ages so I’m trusting the fandom

Ok, from my understanding we KNOW Ted is 35 in Time Bastard.

18 years ago he’d have been 17, which is presumably the right age to be going to camp idontwannabang.

We don’t seem to have any clear idea how old Jerry and Jeri are, but Jerry mentions Ted in such a way that implies to me he has personal beef with Ted.

If I had to guess knowing Jerry, he invented a scenario in his own head about Ted flirting with Jeri much like how he is currently projecting onto Pete. Because I can’t see a time where Jeri and Ted would have interacted outside of school.

Meaning, I believe Jeri and Jerry were 15-17 during the conception of Max/Lumberaxe

Young, yes, but this is Hatchetfield.

It could also be that Ted has hit on Jeri sometime after he adopted his sleazeball personality, so it’s not concrete evidence

But Ted did seem to know Lumber Axe was out there, and Jeri mentions Axe was massive by the time he was 2, hence why I assume they were 15 or 16 when he was born, and therefore 17 or 18 by the time Ted was in camp.

Which also makes sense for Max

However, this is the only age we have for Ted pre time displacement , and we have two for Paul

Paul is 31 in TGWDLM and 33 in NPMD

This is because of the two year gap in the timeline.

Which means we have to make sense of it, though I would say with confidence that I doubt that Emma and Paul ( or rather Emdroid and Paul 23) would get married after only dating for a few months. I’d wager they would at least be 32.

This only changes the math to subtracting 17 from 35 which would make Ted 18, which would make more sense as he does seem to be making Pete go at the age he did.

I’m also relatively hoping that Jerry and Jeri are about Ted’s age because younger just gets perhaps too tragic because while they do seem to kind of suck , I can’t fully blame them considering their circumstances.

Now why is Max well.. Max? My guess, a birth complication causing the Jerries to go to the hospital or someone coming across them in the woods (hidge maybe?)