#if someone else does it they'll just get it wrong and you'll be disappointed

[dontfollowmeman]

What would you think if Chloe and Audrey heard rumours about the way they were going to be portrayed in Astruc’s new movie, so they went back to Paris in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the movie from being completed? Then an evilized villain (maybe a wishmaker-like villain or maybe even a villain that's unrelated to the butterfly miraculous) caused Chloe and Zoe to switch bodies somehow, and nobody fully understands what's going on, so Zoe (in Chloe's body) is taken by Audrey back to New York, despite Zoe desperately trying to explain things. But Chloe enters a fugue state (heavily due to trauma caused by the neglect of her parents) and genuinely thinks she's Zoe, and is even able to recall many of the things Zoe did due to being in Zoe's body. The class thinks “Zoe's” change in behavior is due to the psychological effects of method acting, since “Zoe” is playing Chloe in Astruc's new movie, but they gradually convince “Zoe” to let them help her relearn how to be “herself” again. Meanwhile, in New York, Zoe is trying to get back to Paris, but when she gets there, “Zoe” thinks she’s there to try to hurt Marinette.

Eventually, after listening to “Chloe”, Marinette starts to suspect that “Chloe” might be telling the truth, so she decides that she must test “Chloe” and “Zoe”. She fakes being in danger to see how they react. “Zoe” reacts slightly faster than “Chloe”, so Marinette comes to the conclusion that “Chloe” is lying and that “Chloe” has an evil and manipulative plan. Marinette thinks that “Chloe” must have picked up a few tricks from Lila, because she thinks no version of Chloe could possibly react faster than Zoe when it comes to protecting her. So Audrey takes “Zoe” back to New York again to “correct” her after “Zoe” fails to convince anyone of the truth.

10 years later, “Zoe” gets seriously injured after fighting a villain when Ladybug isn’t around, which causes “Zoe” to not have long to live. Then Ladybug accidentally stumbles upon the truth about “Zoe” while trying to help “Zoe” using magical powers. Ladybug decides that the moral thing to do is to switch Chloe and Zoe back to their original bodies. Once Zoe gets her body back, she blames Chloe for her impending death and for leaving her with 10 years of loneliness, while Chloe got off scot-free. When Lila gets defeated, Zoe steals the Butterfly Miraculous to get her hands on Ladybug and Catnoir’s miraculouses, hoping to “make things right”. Zoe gets defeated by the heroes (including Chloe, who has gotten her memories back) and Ladybug manages to cure Zoe’s injuries.

[pip-n-chips]

This line right here has had a choke hold on me for the last five minutes, sir, on god?

hnnnnfggshshjsk SIR

quick content warnings: pregnancy talk (PC used to be pregnant), Harper being a right fucking creep, kidnapping kinda??

If I remember correctly, IRL, there's a certain amount of time that has to pass before it's safe to have sex again after giving birth (seems like it ranges from 2 to 6 weeks), and Harper would be mindful of that before doing anything to you. (He doesn't want to damage to your pretty little hole!)

But here's the issue- Harper wants to be the FIRST one to fuck you postpartum. He's been thinking about knocking you up with your next kid ever since you got pregnant with the first one, and there's no way in hell he's going to let someone else get that chance before him. He's earned it, he thinks. He's been so helpful throughout your pregnancy; he's been there every step of the way. He deserves it, he knows. You owe him that.

His solution is to keep you somewhere safe, somewhere monitored, where he KNOWS you're safe. Maybe it's a private room in the hospital, locked behind a keycard swipe. You'll be allowed visitors, at first. He's not some monster; if your loved ones want to come see you, they may. But he doesn't like the way some of them look at you, and he hates the way you look at them back. So the visitor hours grow shorter and shorter, effectively cutting people off. (He's also very particular on which nurses come to treat you. This hospital is full of dangerous people, and, unfortunately, he doesn't have the authority to fire whoever he pleases.)

If people ask, he mentions something about irregular results. Uses a lot of buzzwords, says it's not safe for outside germs to come near you. That they need to be extra careful around you, so it's best to leave you be. To rest.

This moves onto the next part, he needs to keep you in his grasp long enough for it to be safe to fuck you again, to breed you again. (And yes, Harper could get you pregnant in other ways- he could insert his sperm via tube/syringe like he's done to many test subjects before, but his cock disagrees. He needs to feel himself inside of you. He's waited long enough. He can wait a little more, the prize'll be worth it.) He uses similar excuses explanations as to why he needs to keep you with him at the hospital longer. He needs to monitor your levels, your progress.

"Something seems wrong," he'd say, "best to keep you longer, for your health."

It's easier to handle when other people come to him for answers, looking to call him out on his bullshit. They have no power here, he doesn't even have to talk to them, if he really didn't want to. (But he's no coward, he can stand tall with a smile that'll make others shy away.) All it takes is a little manipulation to get them to turn around. He's the expert here. He knows what's best for you, not them. If they refuse, well, it's bad to cause a ruckus in a healing environment, yeah? They'll be kindly escorted out.

It's harder when it comes to you, though. It's not like he wasn't expecting it- he's prepared- but it's still disappointing when you start getting restless. You want to leave, he gets that. You want to go home, to be with your kid. And he understands that. But you can't go yet. Not yet. Not until he gets what he wants. Not until you're ready. But, unfortunately for him, your patience runs out before the timer does, and you're,,, less than happy. And he didn't want to do this (he did, he was just waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect excuse), but your behavior starts to get so erratic and upsetting, so he throws you in the asylum. (Poor thing. So distraught, you're a danger to yourself. He had to step in.) Somewhere even more isolated safe, and he keeps you there for as long as he needs.

When the time comes, after one of your examinations, Harper is shaking from restrained excitement. He almost forgets to hypnotize you, drug you, whatever- he's just so eager to be inside you and pump you full of his seed.

And when he does get to... oh boy, it's heavenly. The wait was worth it.

[dearweirdme]

taehyung is using taekook as a cover for taennie, and i'm not trying to say that he's using a gay relationship to hide a straight one, cause that's just stupid.

but let me walk you through this, over years tae's core fanbase has grown to be full of taekookers, and young y/n wannabes who think they have a shot with him one day, and those ones don't think he's gay and dating any member (not even jungkook) but they're comforted by the idea that ppl believe that tae might be dating a bts member because it means he's not dating a woman.

ok, so that's tae's fans. or at least most of them cause there's still normal ones who aren't avid believers that tae is romantically involved with any member, nor are they expecting themselves to date him one day, and are just kinda going with the flow and if he announces a partner one day (man or woman) they'll be happy for him.

tae starts dating jennie, and he's mostly keeping their relationship under wraps, until their photos gets leaked online by a supposed hacker(?) who got into jennie's phone. it blows up all over the internet and tae probably freaks out because his privacy was invaded. but as he watched the reactions and he sees that his fans denied it all and said that those were edits, he realizes that his fans got his back, and no matter what he does, they'll never believe him and jennie are actually dating. he won't lose his fans for dating after all!! cause they don't even believe it!!

taennie keep their relationship under wraps for a few more months but still wear cute couple necklaces that (again) tae's fans debunk as just mere accessories that don't have any deeper meaning. even though both jennie and tae have been wearing those necklaces for weeks, so it obviously means something to both of them individually. and seeing they're already rumored to be dating each other... it's not hard to put 2 + 2 together.

people start catching up on the couple necklaces and tae notices but he knows that if he distracts his fans with something he knows they'd like to hear about (aka jungkook) he has nothing to worry about. he does this for months, knowing very that his and jennie's rs isn't taken seriously because his fans think he's dating jungkook and are doing all the debunking for him.

so what do we have here? a taehyung who knows he can live his life with his gf in peace knowing his fans have his back and will deny anything sus him and jennie ever do, so he gets to have the best of both worlds.

until they get caught in paris, and the reactions are fucking crazy. taehyung's fans are doing absolutely everything in their power to debunk it, from cosplayer to PR narratives they tried it all, and it worked for the most part, in keeping his core fans still skeptical, and those are the ones whose reactions matter to taehyung, cause if those ones are disappointed in him and they leave he loses their support, and he doesn't want that.

so he comes back to korea to reward his fans by giving them another bone that keeps their faith in him going strong and they themselves know that their reward is coming, it's why they don't care about any taennie rumors, because they know taehyung will come to "prove everyone wrong".

taehyung can't be using taennie as a cover for taekook when taekookers were so sure that him and jk made their relationship official on the movie premiere day. he can't be using taennie as a cover while still being loud as hell about jungkook, and it's even more suspicious that jungkook isn't reciprocating the loud gestures. jungkook's latest live is the happiest we've seen him in a while, he can't be that happy while knowing his boyfriend is publicly dating someone else. he looked sad for months when him and tae were still "free" to do whatever they wanted without a third party in the picture, but as soon as he's publicly shoved in the closet again he's... happy?? weird.

i know you might not even reply to this, and if you do you'll most likely still disagree with me cause i know it's not that easy to change a shipper's mind on something they believed in for years. but i still felt like i should at least try to make you see things from a different angle, especially because none of us knows anything for sure and my explanation seems the most plausible, at least to me. taekook don't have to kiss in front of everyone to give tkkrs reasons to ship them, tkkrs already ship them based on things that are very much platonic but are seen from a romantic lens. taehyung knows that just a mere mention of jungkook online is enough to keep his fans happy and loyal to him, he's not queer-baiting, he's giving his fans what they want, and he knows that as long as he does this they'll keep believing he's not really dating jennie and will do all the hiding on his behalf. tae can go skinnydip with jennie right now in jeju island, and his fans will still debunk it because he mentioned jungkook on weverse yesterday, so it's obvious to them where his heart really lies.

Oh anon, your version of Taehyung is so different from my version of Taehyung. My Tae is strong and self assured, while yours is weak and cowering. No wonder we won't agree.

taehyung is using taekook as a cover for taennie, and i'm not trying to say that he's using a gay relationship to hide a straight one, cause that's just stupid.

Oh, I know you don't want to say that, because you do know it's stupid. You are trying very hard to say that Tae is mentioning Jk as much as he does, because he knows Army loves to see members interact, and if you'd just left it at that.. I might've agreed to some point, but you didn't... so let me walk trough your message with you.

but let me walk you through this, over years tae's core fanbase has grown to be full of taekookers, and young y/n wannabes who think they have a shot with him one day, and those ones don't think he's gay and dating any member (not even jungkook) but they're comforted by the idea that ppl believe that tae might be dating a bts member because it means he's not dating a woman.

This is you specifically pointing out that a huge part (according to you most, but I'm not sure that's correct) of Tae's fandom believes he is with Jk, or wants people to believe he is with Jk. This part believes Tae is queer.

tae starts dating jennie, and he's mostly keeping their relationship under wraps, until their photos gets leaked online by a supposed hacker(?) who got into jennie's phone. it blows up all over the internet and tae probably freaks out because his privacy was invaded. but as he watched the reactions and he sees that his fans denied it all and said that those were edits, he realizes that his fans got his back, and no matter what he does, they'll never believe him and jennie are actually dating. he won't lose his fans for dating after all!! cause they don't even believe it!!

How is 'fans not believing what he does' them having his back? Why would Tae be happy and relieved because of that? Is Tae really that weak in your eyes? Does Tae not call out people if he doesn't like what he sees? And you are actually stating (although not directly) that Tae sees it as a positive that the part of his fandom that believes he is with Jk (who believe he is queer) debunks his relationship with Jennie. Taekook against Taennie. "And no matter what he does, they'll never believe him and Jennie are actually dating" I cannot believe Tae would think that a good thing. Tae is proud, if he is in a relationship... he will be proud and behavior like that would hurt him. What you are still implying, even though you don't want to, is that Tae is relieved that people believe in Taekook and therefore don't believe in Taennie.

taennie keep their relationship under wraps for a few more months but still wear cute couple necklaces that (again) tae's fans debunk as just mere accessories that don't have any deeper meaning. even though both jennie and tae have been wearing those necklaces for weeks, so it obviously means something to both of them individually. and seeing they're already rumored to be dating each other... it's not hard to put 2 + 2 together.

Yeah, yeah...

people start catching up on the couple necklaces and tae notices but he knows that if he distracts his fans with something he knows they'd like to hear about (aka jungkook) he has nothing to worry about. he does this for months, knowing very that his and jennie's rs isn't taken seriously because his fans think he's dating jungkook and are doing all the debunking for him.

You know what would be a real simple and effective way to shut down those rumors that apparently give them anxiety... stop wearing the jewelry! Way more effective than using a rumored queer in-band relationship. Which again you are pointing out while not wanting to do so: "knowing very that his and jennie's rs isn't taken seriously because his fans think he's dating jungkook and are doing all the debunking for him." I don't know what to tell you anon, you are saying that Tae is knowingly using Taekook (the queer relationship, not the friend kind) to cover up Taennie.

so what do we have here? a taehyung who knows he can live his life with his gf in peace knowing his fans have his back and will deny anything sus him and jennie ever do, so he gets to have the best of both worlds.

Sigh, I'm quite sure at this point that you are not a Tae fan and you haven't even looked into him much. Something about this makes you feel comforted I'm sure... I can't really pinpoint what it must be, but it is far off from how I see things.

until they get caught in paris, and the reactions are fucking crazy. taehyung's fans are doing absolutely everything in their power to debunk it, from cosplayer to PR narratives they tried it all, and it worked for the most part, in keeping his core fans still skeptical, and those are the ones whose reactions matter to taehyung, cause if those ones are disappointed in him and they leave he loses their support, and he doesn't want that.

So, he doesn't actually care about a real connection with Army... he's only needs them to stay? Everything for fame and fortune? Not caring about people connecting Jk to queer rumors as well, not caring about Jimin getting shit, not caring about Jennie getting dragged? Only wanting to feel safe in his straight relationship, while being saved from discovery by fans believing in his queer one?

so he comes back to korea to reward his fans by giving them another bone that keeps their faith in him going strong and they themselves know that their reward is coming, it's why they don't care about any taennie rumors, because they know taehyung will come to "prove everyone wrong".

Again you pointing out Tae feeling safe because fans believe in his queer rumored relationship, Taekook.

taehyung can't be using taennie as a cover for taekook when taekookers were so sure that him and jk made their relationship official on the movie premiere day.

Not me!

he can't be using taennie as a cover while still being loud as hell about jungkook, and it's even more suspicious that jungkook isn't reciprocating the loud gestures.

Also not me!

jungkook's latest live is the happiest we've seen him in a while, he can't be that happy while knowing his boyfriend is publicly dating someone else. he looked sad for months when him and tae were still "free" to do whatever they wanted without a third party in the picture, but as soon as he's publicly shoved in the closet again he's... happy?? weird.

I don't think Jk looked sad for months. Some instances perhaps, but this is a very unsure time for BTS as a whole. They have to say goodbye to each other for a long period of time, going solo is very different from what they are used to... Jk might be worried, but there's plenty of reasons for him to be... it doesn't have to be his relationship with Tae (why am I explaining this... you don't even think it's real... why are you pointing this out? You are connecting Jk being sad to Tae.. that's not me.) Tae was almost on his way back when Jk did his live... seems a great reason for him to be happy to me.

cause i know it's not that easy to change a shipper's mind on something they believed in for years. but i still felt like i should at least try to make you see things from a different angle, especially because none of us knows anything for sure and my explanation seems the most plausible, at least to me.

I don't need a savior anon. If you've followed my blog you would have noticed that I do leave room for discussion and I do change my mind when a solid reason is presented to me. I need sound reasoning though and your reasoning is faulty. It took me no time to shoot holes in it. I'm fine with people disagreeing. I like having conversations with people from all sides of fandom. What I do have trouble with is people blaming Tae and people misconstruing his character when he has fought so hard to get where he is now.

To summarize, You admit that Tae knows a huge part of his fandom blieves in Taekook. You admit that he utilizes that to divert attention from him and Jennie. You admit that it the outcome he wants. "he's giving his fans what they want, and he knows that as long as he does this they'll keep believing he's not really dating jennie and will do all the hiding on his behalf. tae can go skinnydip with jennie right now in jeju island, and his fans will still debunk it because he mentioned jungkook on weverse yesterday, so it's obvious to them where his heart really lies." You might not want to say that he's using a queer ship to cover up a straight one, but you defintely are.

[schrodingers-water-wet]

draft

"I have a massive favor to ask of you," Nightmare normally wouldn't be concerned when being asked for help. The look in Inks eyes made him feel dread. That hopeful look, with a hint of mischief. The knife in his hand didn't help but he clearly wasn't meant to acknowledge it yet.

"Will I want to help you?" Nightmare pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Oh definitely not, but please hear me out it's important to me!" Ink held the knife up, now it was alright for Nightmare to acknowledge it, "I want you to stab me,"

"No."

"You haven't even heard me out!" Ink put the knife down, having realized he came in too strong.

"I do not need to hear you out. I know your request will fall along the lines of testing some healing magic or some oddity you're curious about. I am not going to be compliant in your shenanigans,"

"You make it sound so bad. Now hear me out- I want you to try and kill me. I'm curious what would happen! The worst case I'll be reset and it's certainly not the first time that's happened. The Multiverse can't go on without me so I wanna test my limits,"

Nightmare had a lot of replies he wanted to make to that request. It was such a loaded thing right off the bat. Then Ink brought in his own resets, which may not have hurt him but certainly caused those who knew him before the last one a lot of strife.

"...Why ask me?"

"Who else would I ask? Dream? Blue? Error?"

"There are plenty of murderous people out there who would help you," Ink did have something resembling a point. Nightmare really was the best choice out of everyone the artist knew. It made him quince a little thinking about it.

"Well speaking of mildly murderous, I considered asking C. He'd be my first choice but-! He'd be too enthusiastic at the idea. You wouldn't be!"

"Uh huh. So you only come to visit when you want violence enacted in your name," Nightmare turns back to his book. Ink doesn't believe for a second he's actually reading it. He's like a sitcom dad pretending to read the paper to show his disappointment, "Go find someone else to kill yourself on."

"But they'll make it hurt. If this goes wrong I don't want it to hurt. I know you'll make it quick if things go sideways,"

"Ask Killer. He'd be a more willing participant,"

"Too enthusiastic again. He's been wanting to kill me since I cheated at monopoly." Ink always cheats at monopoly. Nightmare was fairly confident everyone he has ever played the game with has cheated at monopoly.

"I do not care what you do with yourself. Go bother somebody who does,"

"You're kinda proving my point about you being the best choice. Since you don't care and all," Ink pushed down Nightmares book. So they could look at one another.

"I don't care enough to incovience myself with you," Ink attempted to do puppy eyes, "being pathetic is antithetical to your cause. Vulnerability generally makes people want to protect the source, not kill it,"

"But you're a big scary guy who loves killing vulnerable people,"

"Perhaps I will take you up on that offer."

"Threatening to murder me is, 'antithetical to your cause,' of not killing me,*

"I will make it painful." Nightmare leaned forwards threateningly, lowering his voice to something terrifying. Ink stepped away, laughing awkwardly.

"Come on Night! Stop playing hard to get. It's not like this would be the first time you tried to kill me. This time I'll let you succeed, you just gotta not make it hurt."

"Find another cliff to throw yourself off of," Nightmare settled back down in his seat properly.

[super-unpredictable98]

All Shook Up | Killing Bono AU

Chapter 1: Hello, Neighbors

Warning: Strong language, drugs and alcohol

(General Masterlist) | (All Shook Up Masterlist)

"Crying again, Joy?" Gloria huffed as she walked into the apartment. "Come on, it's been five months, if you didn't wanna move out of your parents' why did you come to London anyway?"

"I did wanna move out, I just didn't imagine it would be so hard," the girl wiped her tears with the collar of her shirt. "I just keep thinking I let them down you know? They wanted me to be a doctor or something, but now I'm a failed musician living with a failed actress..."

"Hey! Who are you calling failed actress?" She gasped. "Anyway, disappointing your parents to make your dreams come true is a part of life, everyone does it. Parents just like to shove their dreams onto their kids thinking they'll get to live through them, but that's not how it goes. Maybe one day you'll have your own kids and want them to be musicians, but they'll run with the circus or something."

"Wow, you really know how to comfort someone, Gloria."

"I don't exactly have time to comfort you right now, call your mom- actually no, don't call your mom, that'll make it worse. Talk to Karl, or the new neighbors, I don't care."

"Since when do we have neighbors?"

"Since today, a couple of guys pretending to be gay, but the older one wouldn't stop checking me out," Gloria laughed. "The younger one looked like a malnourished 14-year-old boy, but he was cute."

"A cute malnourished 14-year-old? Really?" Joy was finally able to smile for the first time that day.

"With curly hair too, you like guys with curly hair, right?"

"Stop, I'm not doing that, I have to focus on getting a job. I can't think of boyfriends now."

"Who said anything about boyfriends? I'm talking about sex."

"I don't wanna have sex with a curly-haired malnourished 14-year-old!"

"He's Irish too."

"Okay, I might think about it," she tilted her head.

"You're such a slut... Are you coming tonight? The party? I can't stay for long, but I think it'll be good for you. Nothing like getting drunk to forget about your stupid parents in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma."

Gloria wasn't wrong, Joyce was born in the middle of nowhere, on a watermelon farm in Oklahoma. Her parents got the farm from her grandparents, and that's how it had been for over five generations. 

Her brother, Lenny, would be the one taking over one day, so her parents had big plans for her. Going to the city, becoming a doctor, and marrying some rich guy to have lots of kids that would eventually work on the farm. 

That story wouldn't exist, though, if Joyce followed their plan. Truth is that rock had been running through her veins for as long as she could remember. 

Being the punk-rock princess she was, what better place to start her new life after graduating high school than London? The Beatles, David Bowie, Fleetwood Mac, Queen! Those were the people she wanted to be like, not a doctor who would one day die and have no one remember her name.

"Yeah, I'm going tonight."

—————————————————— 

"Hey, Karl!" Gloria greeted as they entered the club. It was a completely new scene for Joyce, she had no idea what these people were about, but maybe it would be nice for her to forget about everything else and have fun for once.

"Hiiiii," Joy ran to give him a hug. 

"My favorite girls," Karl held her tightly. He knew how much she had been hurting ever since leaving her home and her country, so it made him happy to see her smile. "Meet your new neighbors."

"Hello neighbors," Gloria grinned in that charming way she always did.

"Hey, I'm Joyce, you can call me Joy," she studied both men. They were definitely trying to look extravagant... Both of them were handsome, the older one had an arrogance she couldn't get over, but the younger one didn't match at all the description Gloria gave her. 

He was a bit scrawny and baby-faced, yeah, but he was also incredibly cute. He looked like an angel almost, and his eyeliner only accentuated those beautiful green eyes he had. His smile could light up the entire town, or maybe it was his Irish lilt that had her hypnotized. Didn't matter, what mattered is that she was soooo happy she decided to come.

"You're American," the boy gave her the most innocent look. Oh, he's sweet, he's really sweet... she thought.

"What gave it away? Was it our accent?" Gloria teased.

"Sorry, this is Ivan, sometimes he acts like he lives in a field," the older introduced, clearly trying to impress the girls.

"Is there something wrong with living in a field?" Joy laughed uncomfortably. "I grew up there, it was pretty nice."

"N-no! That's just something we say back home, it's not like that!" 

"And this is Neil," Ivan smirked. "Sometimes he acts like a massive knobhead. I'm sorry."

Joy was left wondering why someone as nice as Ivan would be hanging around (and pretending to date) someone as presumptuous and stupid as Neil. 

"Gloria used to be in your game, the original punk rocker," Karl gestured toward her. "And little Joy is currently fighting for a record deal as well."

"Really?" Ivan's face lit up. "Do you play something?"

"I play the bass and sing sometimes... I'm looking for a band, but it hasn't happened yet."

"Neil! That's perfect! Joy can join our band!"

"Don't be stupid, we are the band," Neil scoffed.

"Back in Ireland we had more members," Ivan grumbled.

"And they all abandoned us like the massive twats they are, so now it's just us. And no offense, but we don't even know if she's good."

"You do know I'm still here, right?" Joyce muttered. "I would be more than happy to audition..."

"B-but you're a girl!" Neil yelped.

"Wow, thank you for pointing that out, I never noticed before," she shook her head before marching away, not wanting anyone to see how close she was to crying.

"You're such a fuckin' cock! She was sweet and you're a massive dickhead like always!" Ivan grumbled, following after her.

He tried to catch her attention, but the place was too noisy and he couldn't go after her in the girl's bathroom, where she entered to wash the back of her neck with cold water and hopefully calm down.

It was no news for Joyce that people in big cities were assholes, but from what she could tell, they were not from the big city. They were newcomers just like her, shouldn't they all help each other out? They needed musicians for their band, she was a musician looking for a band, was it really that much of a stretch?

The feeling of impending doom, that twisted sickly sensation in her stomach telling her that everything would always go wrong in her life and her dreams could never come true was getting too overwhelming and every day that doubt would grow more and more. Going back home and following the plan her parents imagined for her seemed to be her best option sometimes. 

"Why are you so stupid?" Joyce screamed at herself, staring in the mirror, fanning her eyes trying not to let her tears ruin her eyeliner that took at least fifteen minutes to perfect. 

"You aren't," a tiny voice came from the other side of the door.

"What?" She winced, thinking she had finally gone nuts from all of her delusions and stress.

"You are not stupid, he is."

"Ivan? How long have you been waiting?" She opened the door to find him leaning against the wall. "Oh, you have coke on your-"

The young man quickly wiped the tip of his nose with the back of his hand, most certainly cursing himself for looking like some junkie idiot in front of her. Great first impression... 

"I just wanted to say you are not the problem, that's just how Neil is sometimes. Most of the time. He likes things to be his way or no way, and that usually gets me fucked over somehow, he has the worst decision-making I've ever seen! I didn't even wanna come to London if I'm being honest. I had my friends, my family, I had a girlfriend. And now I'm here, without a job, pretending to be gay in a nightclub and doing drugs, my mum would kill me!"

Joyce couldn't help but laugh, which made Ivan laugh as well, happy to see her smile again. He seemed genuinely nice, she didn't understand how he could possibly be related to someone like Neil. It was the only explanation as to why they were hanging out together in the first place. 

"Why are you pretending to be gay?"

"We thought Karl would be more open... it would be easier to get the flat. He just assumed we were a couple and my brother didn't bother correcting him."

"If it makes you feel any better, I really like your look. It's really sexy, especially the makeup and the earring which-" she pulled it and it came off easily in her hand. "Yeah, I knew it was fake. Pity, it really suits you."

"What I heard from all this is that you think I'm sexy?" Ivan asked hopefully.

"You're all coked up, kinda drunk... I'm definitely not sleeping with you."

"Why not? Maybe a kiss? I can put the earring back, I'll even pierce my ears for real!" He pouted.

"It's not it," Joyce shook her head. "If we ever kiss or have sex, I'd want you to remember it and be fully aware of what you're doing."

"Jesus, you're really sweet..." he cried.

"Thanks, you are too. Or you might just be in comparison to your brother," she teased. "Also, Karl would've been fine knowing you're straight, he doesn't care. He's literally the nicest person I've met since I arrived in London."

Ivan narrowed his eyes in thought, an idea taking place in his mind. He never stood up to Neil, not when he stopped them from accepting help from Bono, not when he messed up their big gig, not when he dragged him to a whole new country against his will. Maybe it was time to take a risk. 

"You're gonna audition to join our band," he blurted out. "I don't give a shit, you're gonna audition. If you're bad, then fine, Neil is right. If you're good, you're gonna help us get where we need to be."

"What about-?"

"Don't worry about him, I'll deal with him later. I wanna hear you play, tomorrow night at our place."

"Sounds good," Joyce grinned, leaning against the wall next to him. "Thank you, Ivan. If you weren't on drugs, I'd definitely kiss you."

"I'll never do drugs again," he huffed a soft laugh. "Can't risk missing out on the chance... Would you at least dance with me? It's a start innit?"

She smiled even wider and hid her blushing cheeks behind her hands. Maybe, just maybe things could work out after all.

"Fine, I guess a dance wouldn't hurt anyone."

Tag List: @salvador-daley @seanfalco @elliethesuperfruitlover @firstpersonnarrator

[dreamifics]

Immature

Oneshot

Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Talk of sexual activities and stuff but no smut

Y/N joined the Avengers shortly after the big fight between Tony and Steve. Stark recruited her due to Fury's orders, she used to be under control of Hydra, like Barnes.. All of the Avengers had no problem with her, only one..

''Stupid Rogers!" Y/N shriek as she stares into her bathroom mirror..

Once again, Rogers benched her, because and she quote

'She used to be just like them!'

They were supposed to raid a Hydra facility, and something snapped at Steve's brain when he saw that Y/N was going too.

Y/N sighs, she just gripped the porcelain sink and steadied herself, she was ready to kill Steve, she was so angry.. Y/N just washed her face with the cold water from the faucet, hoping that it'll help ease the anger in her blood.

She exits the bathroom and was greeted by Bucky, he was sitting in her bed.

"Hello Tinman.." Y/N gave Bucky a smile.

"I want to apologize for--"

"You don't need to apologize in behalf of Steve.. I'm cool.."

"Are you really?"

"Yepp!No word of Captain Ass can get to me.."

Bucky crossed his arms, he knew she was lying.. Y/N just awkwardly smiled at him, she walks to her bed and dived in her bed..

"You can leave now, your boyfriend's might be missing you now.."

And in queue Sam and Steve popped up in her door, Steve was furious.. His eyes were fixed to Bucky, while Sam was just smiling slyly..

"Speak of the devils.." Y/N mutters as she gave Steve a deadly glare.

Bucky stood up from her bed and gave the two men a small nod.. Steve was still looking at Bucky but it soon averted to Y/N, she just raised her eyebrow at him.

"Have a fun mission, you two.."

"Will do, Y/N" Sam answered and gave Y/N a smile which she gladly gave back.

"Oh, Bucky!Pouvez-vous s'il vous plaît pousser le capitaine hors de l'avion pour moi?" Y/N spoke in french knowing that Bucky will understand.

Can you please push Captain out of the plane for me?

Bucky just laughs and shakes his head as Sam grabs him and drag him out of Y/N's sight. However, someone still hasn't left and it made her anger bubbled up even more.

"I swear to God if you don't leave, I'll squeeze your kneecaps.." Y/N said jokingly? She was not sure, she might just do that if Steve won't stop his douche ways..

"Cut it out, Y/N.." Steve ordered..

Y/N rolled her eyes, she sashay her way to Steve and move her face closer to his.

"You're not my Captain, you don't get to order me around.."

Y/N was supposed to walk away but was stopped by Rogers hand in her arms.. However, his hands didn't hurt her, his touch was soft and gentle.. Typical Steve..

Always a gentleman..

"I'm the Captain, you'll obliged to me.."

Y/N scoffs as she takes her arm away from him, she looked him deeply in his and saw that there were anger filling his blue eyes.. This guy really hates her..

"And what if I don't?What would you do?Fire me?Spank me?" She sassed but Steve eyes soften and his eyes wander to her body..

Y/N brows furrowed, what was Steve doing? He just stared at her and his cheeks suddenly got flushed.. Di-Did he just imagine what Y/N has said??

"What?" Y/N was weirded out, she hated the eerie silence between them and to top that up he might be imagining sexual things or so she thought..

"Capsicle, let's go!" Stark voice boomed out through the whole tower, it made Steve snap back to reality and he just walks away.

This made Y/N flabbergasted, he walked away just like that.. After the awkward silence and him being flustered, he just walked away with no explanation or whatsoever. Y/N just huffed in annoyance and flops back down to her comfortable messy bed..

What is wrong with Steve?

Days passed and it seems that Y/N is finally at peace, there were no longer eyes watching her.. Yes, Steve has given up.. How does she know? Simple, Steve is now avoiding and pretending she doesn't exist.. Which is fine by her, but there's this small pain in her heart.. She missed Steve acting like a douche..

Y/N mentally slaps herself, she used to complain about Steve always criticizing and annoying her but why is she missing it now? Y/N sighs as she slams her head in the table infront of her. A piercing pain welcomed her as her head hit the table but she ignored it.

"Umm, can I go on with my briefing?" Tony was standing in the middle of the big briefing room..

Y/N put her hands up and gestures an 'okay', she completely forgot that she was sitting with the Avengers in the middle of a meeting..

"Are you okay, Y/N?" Wanda was the first to ask her that, Y/N just let out a groan.. All of them just shared knowing looks and Tony fakes a cough.

"If you want to rest, you can go.." Tony chided..

"Alright.."

Y/N stood up and was almost to the door when Steve's phone suddenly rang, he answered it..

"Sharon?"

This name made Y/N stop, are they together? They look nice together, she hope that they'll break up soon.

"I'll be there.." Steve endes his call and stands up..

"Sorry everyone, I have a date with someone.." He push passed Y/N leaving her heart on the floor..

He has a date? Why is she even concerned about that? She doesn't care, Steve's stupid anyway!

"Wow, Capsicle is going on a date, I'll be damned.."

"And with Sharon?She's nice.." Wanda chirps in..

Meanwhile, Natasha notices Y/N who was dumbfounded and hurt by all the recent events..

"Aren't you gonna go, Y/N?" Nat asked with mischievous eyes wandering to her face..

Y/N put out a fake smile and left, how is she feeling this way? Does she like Steve? She groans as those thoughts eat her alive, maybe she just need a fresh air..

Yes, fresh air..

That's exactly what Y/N needs, she has been cooped up in the tower for weeks now.. She sped up to her room and grab her keys, jackets and Tony's credit card.. He won't mind it, that man is richer than the whole US goverment..

Y/N jogs to the elevator, turns out she's not going to be waiting for the elevator alone.. Steve is right there, also waiting for an elevator so he can go to his fancy date with someone else..

"Fuck.."

Y/N was deep in her thoughts that she didn't realize that Steve was looking at her.. She cleared her throat and walked up to the elevator doors..

"Up or down?" Steve asks making Y/N look at his stupid handsome face.

"Can't you figure it out Sherlock?" She's grumpy and she doesn't care.

"What?" Steve questioned.

"Down!"

"Could've just said that.."

"We're on the fuckin--"

"Language!" The infamous 'language', he's being dramatic as hell.

"Fine!We're on the freaking top floor and your asking me if I'm going up or down?"

"I didn't notice."

"You're just stupid.."

The elevator was taking forever, normally it would be up in a minute but she's been standing her for almost five minutes and the elevator is still a no show.

"This is taking forever, I'm going to take the stairs.." She was going to the staircase when the elevator doors opened..

"You're impatient.." Steve mumbles.

"Asshole.." Y/N mumbles back..

And before she knew it, she's pinned to the floor.. It happend so fast, Steve has pinned her down to the floor.. Their face were only inches apart, it made Y/N blush but she somehow hid it..

"Let me go, Steve.."

"Not until you beg for forgiveness.."

"Beg?Didn't know you had a kinky side, old man.."

Steve got flustered by her words, still he didn't let Y/N go.. She started to fight back by getting the upper hand and overpowering Steve.. Now she's on top, she smirks and inch her face closer to Steve's face.

"Dominant, I like that Cap.."

"Although, next time ask for a girls permission before you go and pin her to the floor.."

Without thinking Steve kissed Y/N, her eyes widen but soon she melted to the kiss. It started out soft but it became rough within seconds.. All of the unsaid feelings were mashed into the kiss.. She was out of breath but she didn't want it to stop.. Steve pulled back and smiled sweetly at Y/N, she was confused but she smiled back..

"You like me back?"

"No shit, Sherlock.." Y/N smiled but instead of Steve saying language he smiles back..

"You're so immature.."

They both laugh as Y/N got up and offered her hand to Steve, he gladly accepted..

"Go, you'll be late for your date..Wouldn't want to keep her waiting.." Y/N shooed Steve away but he just stands there..

"You are my date.."

"Well powder me in sugar and call me a donut.. Was all this planned?" Steve nods and Y/N just shakes her head in disappointment, she interlock her arm to Steve's arm.

"Let's go eat some ribs and steaks, Cap.."

On the briefing room with all the remaining Avengers,  they were cheering and celebrating as they watch the two from a surveillance camera.

"Not bad, Cap.." Natasha mumbles as she eats popcorn with Wanda and Bucky.

By commenting, or reblogging this post, you’ll be telling me that you’re interested in being on my tag list! You’re also welcome to DM me or send me an ask if you’re more comfortable with that :)

If you guys have any request for a oneshot about ( marvel characters, DC characters, stranger things, game of thrones, brooklyn 99, friends, basically anything! I accept everything!)

[midnxghtsunwrites]

LAID OFF

PAIRING —

Andy Barber x Black Reader

SUMMARY —

You get fired from your workplace of eleven years and Andy tries to comfort you.

WARNINGS —

Just good ol' fluff and angst, ignorant people doing ignorant things — yakwtfgo

It was midday when Andy received a text from you saying that you were on your way home from work. As far as he knows, your workday definitely does not end at twelve pm. Immediately, he called you and the conversation went as vague as he expected.

"Why are you going home, sweetheart? You okay?" He questions. You can't see him but you can tell that he has those crinkles in between his eyebrows that usually come with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Do we have anything on our grocery list? I'm gonna stop by Walmart on the way home." He doesn't have a chance to answer before you cut him off, "Never mind, I'll just go to the house and grab it."

"Y/N —"

You hung up.

A day of shopping went by with you trying to take your mind off of what happened just hours before. Your boss of eleven years called you into his office, handed you a termination packet, a crappy explanation, and a company pen.

A pen.

"It has your name on it," He'd quipped.

As you now stand in your bathroom, twisting your hair into bantu knots, you wish you would've stabbed that motherfucker in the eye with that pen. You're absolutely taken aback by his audacity — it followed you throughout the day.

Even when your son came home from school and greeted you. You were in the kitchen at that point, aggressively stirring up some chicken soup — your comfort food. He gave you the weirdest look and retreated to his room.

During dinner (without Andy) you listened intently as your son recounted his day, trying to get your mind off of how much time you'd wasted in that company.

Now, you can hear the security system speak that the front door is open. Andy's home.

You try not to think about the packet you left on the bed — he has to know somehow and you don't want to say it out loud. Part of you feels he'll be disappointed in you.

When he enters the bathroom, the packet in hand and a thoughtful look on his face, you try not to let it faze you and get back to spraying leave in conditioner in your hair.

You can feel his stare burning into the side of your face.

You blink and meet his eye in the mirror, "I don't wanna talk about it."

"We have to talk about it." His voice is calmer than you thought it would be.

"No, Andy, we don't have to do anything — I, on the other hand, have to finish these bantu knots that I started way too late in the day. Should've done this tomorrow. Not like I have anything else to do —"

Andy scoffs, "Y/N, stop doing your hair for a minute and talk to me."

"What?" You question, beyond irritated, "What is there to possibly talk about? Huh? I wasn't good enough at my job and I lost it. There's not much else to it, Andy."

"Y/N —"

"No." You deadpan, slamming the bottle down on the granite counter top and turning to face your husband, "I gave eleven years of my life to that place. Just to get a letter of termination and a pen. A stupid pen? Is that what my life has come to? They could've had the decency to send me to fricking Jamaica or some shit — they're good for it."

Andy leans back against the wall and watches you as you rant.

"If I'm that replaceable, why the fuck didn't they just fire me ten years ago when they saw what a crap job I was doing?" You know you're a great employee but the rage is pouring off you in waves, "I was sacrificing my weekends with family to go to that bum place — for terrible fucking pay, mind you — and this is what they do? This is how they pay me back for wasting a decade of my life? I'm just so —" A frustrated groan finishes your statement.

"And I know you're disappointed in me. You're disappointed in the fact that I didn't work hard enough. I didn't fight hard enough. Well, fuck that. I'm fucking over it."

"Are you?"

"Yes, I'm over it." You reiterate.

Your husband knows you too well to think that you're over it. He counts down from five in his head.

Five..

Four..

Three..

Two..

One..

"Is it because I'm black?" You ask, suddenly.

Right on cue. Andy whistles lowly, proud of himself.

"Fucking hell," You scoff as if just realizing something, "I knew there was some shady shit when they took us to a damn plantation for a mixer and only asked me to bring food."

Your husband's head shoots up in surprise, "Wait, they did that? Why didn't you tell me?"

You shake your head, "I wasn't thinking too much of it. Plus, it was like six years ago — I was naive as hell."

Andy furrows his brows in thought, "What was the reason they gave for firing you?"

"My disruptive behavior. Apparently, they don't like when someone accidentally drops their stapler." Saying it out loud pissed you off even more.

"Those assholes." Andy comes to your defense, biting his bottom lip, irritated. Finally, he nods, "Okay. We'll sue for wrongful termination. I'll call someone in the morning so we can get this sorted out."

You pause for a moment, glad your husband is there to fight by you and defend you. A part of you is tempted to do just that — get a couple thousand from that hating ass job. But no, you don't even want to think about them anymore.

Begrudgingly, you shake your head, "Nah, baby, I just wanna wash my hands of them. I'll send out my resume in the morning and I'll probably take a couple more days to mope, but I don't wanna think about them anymore. Just the fact that I'm jobless."

"There's my girl," Andy jokes as he wraps his arms around you. Your hair is haphazard on your head seeing as you haven't finished the knots yet, but Andy doesn't care. He's obsessed with you either way. "And I'm not disappointed in you, Y/N. You're the best at what you do. Them letting you go is their loss and they'll definitely realize what they're missing out on when you're out there doing your own shit. We have enough in our savings to spare — you can start that restaurant you've been dreaming about."

"And you'll be my greeter when you're not putting criminals in jail?" You ask, sweetly, a bright smile growing on your face.

Andy pecks your glossed lips, "Wouldn't have it any other way." He taps your ass, "Now, how about I help you finish your hair, we can drink some hot cocoa, I can give you a massage. Plus, I can take tomorrow off, we can pull Y/S/N out of school and we can go on a hike to clear your mind."

You almost cry at how much Andy is willing to do for you.

"Ugh, how did I get so lucky?" You rest your hand on his chest, right where your name is tattooed and pull him down to kiss you.

He pulls away, slightly, his beautiful blue eyes lighting up with such joy and admiration, "I ask myself that everyday."

general taglist : @gwenspacy @saccreigns @complacentviawattpad @rosenoirwrites @random-ficreader23 @kyla-queen @neealicious @islandgyalwrites

let me know if you'd like to join any of my taglists! feel free to like, reblog, and comment! also, my asks are open — and im taking requests!

[ihopethisendswell]

The part where you get basic info on my Pokémon oc's so you don't get confused when I post about them.

This is gonna be a long post. I have like 8 total. 16 if your counting the secondary protags (my version of May and Lucas for example,which I won't be going over in detail cause I'm not insane). Might want to check my timeline 9 it's pinned or just check bulbapedia if your confused about the ages. If you have any questions feel free to ask. I hope you enjoy :)

Name :Jin Amachi

Gender: " I am nonbinary. I they/ them pronouns, but I'm alright with he/ him as well.

Age:

12( when started journey in Hoenn( Emerald)

22 by SM/USUSM

26 by SWSH

Basic info: With all things said and done, Jin is grateful for their journey. They learned a lot, even if they had to stop two extreme environmentalist along the way. They know the two meant well, but it's just too bizarre for it to happen. Though the two seem to be in a better place now. They're happy for them. They're father and them talk more now. It's still awkward, but better. They know he's trying his best, and they will do the same. It's much better than back then. But no need to worry about the past.

If anything, they're more worried about the others.

Kenji Elm

Gender: " I'm getting sudden dejavu. But I'm a boy! The best boy! Don't call me a girl, I will cry. And because I'm not one! So don't. Anyway have you heard of-" * starts to ramble*

Age:

10 when journey started in Johto( HGSS)

17 by SM

21 by SWSH

Basic Info: Kenji Elm is not the biological son of Professor Elm. He was adopted at a young age, and he doesn't know who is birth parents. Not that he cares. He's more than happy with the family he got( though he wonders when they'll throw him away like his parents did). Energetic and always willing for an adventure, Kenji is generally on the move!( He's so sorry if he's being annoying please don't leave please)

He has a vast amount of interests, but his two favorites are painting and battling. Battling is obvious, he's the champion of the Indigo League, but he always had an artistic eye. But his favorite pastime is hanging out with his friends! When he gets the time of course. He's sometimes wonder how he was able to hold the title of champion for so long though haha ( his win was a fluke he knows it he knows it) .But yeah! That's Kenji! Always there with a smile! Our little golden boy! 😁

Name: Danica Yamamoto

Gender: "I'm a girl. She/her pronouns. They/ them is cool too. Don't mind Kenji, he talks a lot." *Offended Kenji noises in the background*

Age:

11 when journey started in Sinnoh( Platinum)

18 by SM)

22 by SWSH

Basic Info: Giratina and Arcues are quite alike, the more she thinks about it. Though, the rest if Sinnoh, quite possibly the whole world would disagree with her. Giratina is " the lord of darkness". It's followers have a history of not being....the best. Giratina resides alone in the Distortion World, paying for it's past sins. Clearly, Giratina and Arcues are nothing alike.

Hm? Oh. Right. Pardon.

Danica grew up in Twinleaf town, with her best friend Barry. Those two are almost polar opposites. Barry is always moving, going fast, and doesn't wait for no one( except Danica and Emmet). Danica can go fast, possibly faster than Barry, but likes to take things slow. Both can be quite chaotic.Barry has a bit of a temper, Danica's chill. Both are cases where you should run when they are angry. Like. Very angry. The two bounces of each other well,and hang out regularly with Emmet, even with their busy professions ( Danica as champion, Barry as Frontier Brain and Emmet as a professor). Danica loves baking, and would often be making poffins and other baked treats for her, her pokemon and others ! She's also a bit of a nerd, so you'll also find her in a library or two. Her pokemon are her babies, and she hopes to have plenty of battles with them in the future!

.....

But really. They are quite alike. Both are beings of great power. Both have a following, even if one is less seen. Both are feared. They are feared greatly. Do they fear each other? Did Arcues banish Giratina in fear of the world or in fear of losing control? Did Giratina learn it's lesson after eons of being in the Distortion World? She could never tell. It doesn't really open up much, only going back to said Distortion World on its own Accord( it felt wrong to be it's "owner"). Though it do comes back, surprisingly. Maybe because she asked it to. To make sure Cyrus doesn't die in there. He still won't come out. She doesn't understand why. It's been years. Has he learned his lesson? Giratina seems to be fond of him. Affectionate. Cyrus never objects to this. So he must right? Right?

Ah, getting off topic. They're quite alike, being feared by the masses. Even if Arcues is mostly beloved. It's a god. It has such power. They're both feared. They themselves must fear as well . It must get lonely....... She thinks she gets Cyrus now.

Name: Alexis " Alex" Jones

Gender: " Um, hi? I'm just a dude. Use he/ him pronouns.....yeah"

Age:

14 when journey started in Unova( BW)

18 by SM

22 by SWSH

Basic info: It's so funny, the more he thinks about. He was so excited, despite his worries. He was going on a journey. A gym challenge. Pathway to champion. He was going to do that! With his sister and his friends! On his birthday! It was perfect! It should have been perfect! But everything just went wrong.

The bodies, the blood, the pressure to " be a hero"( intentional or not), it was all too much. Too much. Then- then he was a coward. He fled it all. Even after saving the day. It was stupid. So stupid. And the people in his life had a right to be angry. Why wouldn't they? He deserved it, really. But now things are better(?). He has a daycare to co-run, he's gradually learning his way as a pokemon medic, and he still has his pokemon( the ones that were lucky enough to survive). He's so grateful for them. He doesn't battle, though. No, he's never doing that ever again. He's caused enough harm( he hates how he stares at trainers battling). He's no good anyway( he hates how bored his team looks half the time) . He doesn't understand why people insist that he is( he hates that he has this itch, this desire). He doesn't understand why they look so disappointed when he says he doesn't battle anymore( he hates that he misses the rush, the strategy, the freedom of it all). He's fine with what he got. He's no hero.

.....Why is his aunt calling him?

Name: Evangeline " Eva" Ortiz

Gender: " Hiya! I'm a lovely lady! I use she/her pronouns, please and thank you!"

Age:

14 when journey started ( B2W2)

16 by SM

20 by SwSh

Basic Info: Eva! Eva my Beloved. Eva's fun, y'know? Always moving, helping, laughing, smiling. Life of the party! She rivals Kenji with that winning smile. Not to mention that she's a great battler! It's almost like she was born for this. Maybe she is! Who knows. But what she do know is that she's Unova's Champ and she gotta defend her title! And protect her region! Though she probably would have done that without the title anyway haha! Hmm what else? Oh! She loves technology! For some reason that surprises a lot of people that don't really know her, but she does! She's a bit of a tinkerer if she do say so herself. She likes it when people compliment on her skills it makes her more confident in them. Even Col-

No.

....

Ahem.

Anyway she's pretty talented. But that comes from a lot of hard work! And luck. But lots of hard work.( And also luck). Aaaah, that should that's it? Well, she does tend to be distant, b-but she's busy, yeah? Don't worry about it. Oh! One more thing. It's not really a big deal, just a random fact.

She hates the cold.

Name Jude Bellrose

Gender: "...... Why do you care ?" ( E: Jude don't be rude! Al: No no, she has a point.) *Ooc: Jude is genderfluid. Right now, in this post, she's using she/ her pronouns, but she also uses he/him and they/them*

Age:

18 when journey started in Kalos( XY)

20 by SM

24 by SwSh

Basic info: Death has a way of teaching you things. Jude learned a lot from it. She learns to not take it for granted, both death itself and the one that is dead.She learns to be humble. She learns to be kind.

Jude was, and still is, prickly. She's not rude my any means, unless she is, but she's just hard to become friends with. She used to have this philosophy of trainer and pokemon; they should be no emotional bonds. They're not here for that. They're here to win. And she did. Until she didn't. Her first pokemon died. It devastated her. Her pokemon, surprisingly, comforted her. And then another one died, and her pokemon comforted her again. Star, her Staraptor, was strong. So strong, and yet it died, and she cried and get pokemon cried with her. She never felt so loved. Not saying that her mother doesn't love her, the opposite really, it's just things have been....complicated. Couple that with strangers turn( begrudgingly) friends, and Jude's heart turned all warm inside. Not that she'll ever admit that outloud.

Jude is a kind person, despite her prickly nature. She loves the world around her, loves her friends, loves her pokemon. She respects death, despite the pain she causes her. The world itself of beautiful as it is, which it's such a shame that a capitalist fool a certain someone couldn't see that way( poor Sycamore).

Jude is a good trainer, despite her loss. She knows this. She'll prove it too the moon and back. If only a certain someone thought the same for himself.

Aster Mahina

Gender: "...." "Mizzz Aster is a girl! She uses she/her pronouns! Zzt."

Age:

11 in SM, where her journey started

15 by SwSh

Basic Bio: Aster doesn't hate Kanto. She doesn't. She was born there and lived there for 11 years. She just doesn't want to back. But she has to, cause she's " the first champion of Alola and as champion" yada yada yada. Like. She gets it. Being Alola's first and currently only champion, you gotta make an impression. She gets that. She still doesn't want to go. Even when she's been there, like, 4 times now. There are some good things in Kanto though. Lillie is there. And seeing Lillie physically is always a plus. She also gets to see Uncle Red, Uncle Green, and Aunt Blue. Kenji, while not living in Kanto, is champion of the Indigo League, and it's always fun with Kenji( she loves his art). But. Like. She still doesn't want to go.

But she also likes being Champion. That means she's strong. And since she's strong she can protect her mom. But she can't protect her mom when she's all the way in Kanto! What if he comes back? What if goes to Alola when she's away? She knows that her mom is strong, she knows that but still!

No. No it's okay. Her mom is strong. Lillie is strong. Gladion is strong . Hau is strong. Guzma is strong. They're all strong. She's strong.

She is strong.

Name: Naomi Einar

Gender: "I-I'm a girl! She/her pronouns please!"

Age:

15 in SWSH, which is the start of her gym challenge in Galar!

Basic Info: Hop is pretty convincing, she realizes. Or maybe she's very weak willed. " Let's do the gym challenge together!" He said. He had that look in his eye. She couldn't say no. Or she could, but that would make him upset, and that's the last thing she wants.

If she's being honest with herself, she's scared. She doesn't like big crowds, the attention. They'll be so many eyes on her. So many. A-and then there's Lee and her cousin, Alexis. Hop has made her sit down and watch almost every single match Leon has had. He's an amazing trainer. A-and her mum would tell her stories about Alexis. He was a hero! He stopped an evil team and everything! She can't live up to that! She never even battled before, why would Hop-

No. It's okay. It's okay. She- she'll just quite after failing the first gym. She can handle the embarrassment. And then she'll cheer Hop on when he wins against his brother. Yep. She'll do just that. Okay. Okay.

.....

Everyday, Slumbering Weald seem to intrigue her more and more. It's almost like it's calling her. Da?

No. It- it'sprobably nothing.

[lotr-mkg]

Prologue Recap 2/2

“Good morning! Good afternoon! Good evening, everyone!”

Freyja summons the contestants back to the Boreal Tryst's sundeck to kick off Love on the Rocks, with her first order of business being to score the icebreakers that the cast has been filling out for the past several days.

"Looks like we got some fierce competition! Was it the passion of love that made you guys so eager to fill this out? Put a little pep in your step? I know it does mine. This won't take me too long to put together and decide a winner. Sit tight for a second, ok? I’ll be done in a j—!”

Her voice abruptly cuts off.

“I’ll be done in a ji—!”

She takes a second before she attempts the line again, repeating her contemplative movement in a cycle. But when she tries it this time, it sounds… Off. Not just off, but strange. Weird. Uncomfortable, almost, as her pitch drops and becomes distorted to the point of being completely intelligible.

“I̸̽̽'̸̀͒l̷̈̊l̶͌̈́ ̵̉͠b̷̌́e̵͒̓ ̴̀̉d̸͖̃ȯ̷͝n̶͛̕é̶͠ ̷̈́͗i̵̎͘n̵͋̌ ̷̂͒a̷͒͊ ̷̈́̕j̶̋͝í̴͐f̷̺̉f̸̂̋y̴̻͝!̸̑͗”

While many of the contestants look on in confusion, some more concerned about the program's well-being than others, a few attempt to gain Freyja's attention.

She doesn’t respond no matter what you say or do to get her attention. In fact, if anything, it looks like your attempts only make it worse. Almost like repetitively left clicking a frozen browser page. Not only does she remain stuck in her two-frame, chin-tapping buffering motion, but her pixels become grainy and glitched in the process. This doesn’t last for too much longer though, because just as it happened, her hologram shuts off all together, and you’re left just… Standing there. No explanation for what happened, let alone why it happened in the first place. You could pass it off at some sort of elaborate joke if you really wanted to - if it puts your mind at ease - but when there is a slow but drastic shift in the ship's course of direction, the fact that something is very, very wrong can’t be ignored. Water in the pool and jacuzzi slowly begins to tip to one side from the sudden change in momentum, the unbolted chairs on the deck slide, and, if you’re not careful, you could very well join them. Thank god for the rails.

With Freyja missing in action, the Boreal Tryst barrels towards land, eventually striking a number of rocks along the shoreline before coming to a stop. The contestants go uninjured, save for maybe a few minor bruises from stumbling around, dazed, confused, and angry about whatever just happened.

Among the chaos of their shipwreck, they're able to spot buildings in the distance. Hoping they've lucked out on being dropped near civilization, the contestants safely climb their way down the escape ladder and make their way towards what appears to be a small town, hoping they'll be able to call the producers and explain what happened.

... A small town that's entirely abandoned, unfortunately.

The streets are filled with hollow and dilapidating buildings, with no signs of life in sight as the light dusting of snow crunches underneath their feet.

Suddenly, a familiar upbeat voice cut through the cold.

“Hello? Hellooo?”

A small display of Freyja pops up from each one of your watches, speaking in unison.

“Oh, gosh! That was so weird! My body felt all tingly and numb… My head got all dizzy... Or, it would have if I had a body that could feel tingly and numb, and a head to get dizzy in the first place. Haha!”

Questions about their circumstances begin to rise. What happened? Where are they?

"Luckily, I do know where you are, Liezel! A liiittle isolated coastal city way up north of Norway called Forsetalundr." She giggles before leaning in, like she's whispering. "Kind of cozy, isn't it?"

“My sensors are telling me that the cabins in the ship aren’t being fed heat anymore… But that’s nothing to worry about! I’ve found a nearby motel for you all to stay in, and I even took the liberty of assigning you some new roommates for a change of pace. You know, since, um, you’ll prooooobably be here for a while!”

“I guess I could [also] send out a radio signal on an open channel to ask for help, buuut… I don’t think I’m gonna do that! If someone else shows up to save you guys, that would ruin the whole show, you know? Since the whole point is to see what you guys do without other people interfering, right?”

The group begins to grow irate. What is she talking about?

"... Oh! I know this one. That sounds like disappointment, doesn't it? Anger, maybe? I know it's not super ideal, but I've been told that people say the show must go on, or something! So, we're going to keep playing the game, okay? Buuut, if you really want to go home, you can always d̶̦̚ì̴̅v̴̻̄o̵̩̕r̴̛̼c̴̆̍e̶ someone."

"It'll break my heart - and theirs, I’m sure - but if you d̶̦̚ì̴̅v̴̻̄o̵̩̕r̴̛̼c̴̆̍ẻ̶̗ one of the other contestants without getting caught, you'll get closer to me signaling for help! How do you divorce someone, you might ask? Welllll, it's simple, really!"

"You k̸i̵l̶l̸ them, of course!"

"It'll be so romantic, but so tragic! You've all read Romeo and Juliet, right? Star-crossed lovers, pulled apart by the claws of death..."

"Oh! But I know that's pretty vague, so I went ahead and updated your guidelines on your RIMEKEEPERS with more information on how it'll work. Do me a favor and read those over, will you? Thanks!”

The contestants read over the updated rules provided by Frejya, naturally outraged... well, save for a certain Shinya, who seems pretty amused by the whole thing. Hey, this isn't what they signed up for at all, is it?

As her last order of business before disappearing, Freyja finally seems to remember what started all of this-- The icebreaker! But what she adds seems... a little different than your standard dating show fare.

“Since we're probably going to be stuck here for a while, we'll need some new ground rules, since this isn't the ship, right? Our three winners of the icebreaker - the person with the highest score and two runner ups - will be this rounds very special lawmakers. They worked really hard, so I figured they would be best fit to set the bar for this lawless town. Like sheriffs back in the days of cowboys!”

“They’ll get together and discuss one rule to set into motion, for better or for worse. This rule could potentially only help them, or help the entire group if they’re feeling generous. Either way, it won’t be easy. It’s a lot of responsibility, and it’s hard to make everyone happy! I’m sure they’ll do juuust fine though.”

Before anything else can be said, her display on your watch flickers off, and you’re one again felt with how you started — alone, together. Is this… really what you all signed up for? Being stranded in a desolate town, being held hostage unless you’re compliant, and being forced to kill one another if you ever want to leave? Is this Love on The Rocks?

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Ava

Grace: you okay babes???! Ava: The furthest from without actually being 💀 Grace: Oh my god what even?! aren't you at that uni thing? Ava: For a few more hours yet, give me strength Ava: Last night was Ava: nah Grace: last night was a sorority girl horror 📽🎞 or like ??? Ava: Allegedly a thing but I've yet to see anyone rocking a skinhead without it being a Choice™ Ava: So, everyone else did go to the 📽🎞 last night but I pulled a sickie 'cos Ava: well, that can do one as a concept but also Ava: Are you sure you even want this? It's a whole saga, like 🙄😫 Grace: duh x 10000 Grace: there's nothing anyone can tell me about mean girls 🔪💔 we can skip 📽🎞 when I've IRL lived it Grace: & obvs! talk to me I'm BEYOND concerned Ava: There are no mean girls Ava: and I think the shit I pulled is beyond a Regina level even Grace: UM no way are you casting yourself 👑 thanks! what happened?! Ava: Sorry but you can try and come for the 👑 after I tell you Ava: So they get current pupils to show you around, do the tour, answer questions, do the whole programme with you, right? Ava: Must be good extra credit or whatever, anyway Ava: There's this guy, and the whole time there's this total...vibe, you know? And I'm not delusional or sad like that, its an actual thing but I know him, know of him Ava: so I know why I should just ignore it, but instead when everyone is out, I DM him Grace: excuse you bitch I'm literally reformed but like putting that ASIDE cos this is so much more IMPORTANT!😱😱 Grace: so are we talking a phoneful of regret or IRL walk of shame? Ava: We talked for a while, so I have literal evidence it wasn't just one-sided but truly do not wanna be that girl but like, I swear Ava: anyway, we did go out, properly and it was Ava: so good Ava: but then he had to go and now I have to die Grace: duh it was 😍😍😍 I know what a vibe means Grace: he has a gf yeah? honey we've ALL done it don't even stress he's obvs not that into her Ava: No its Ava: more complex Ava: there's Ava: well, he's married Ava: but he's not as old as that makes him sound but yeah, clearly quite into her Grace: Ew! What's with everyone getting 💍👰 Grace: if Janis gets proposed to I'm kmsing Grace: it doesn't sound that complex though babes, don't let this family fool you, 💔💍 is such a thing™ Ava: Can't see it myself Ava: they are cute though Ava: of course but I'm not out here doing that myself, that's Buster's bread and butter, not mine Ava: they have kids as well, two Grace: 🙄🤢 Grace: totally but we literally NEVER have to tell her or them that shh Grace: well that explains it 🤰👰💍 he probs doesn't even love her Ava: My lips are sealed Ava: One of them is like...6 or something and the other is a baby so there's like no excuse Ava: It didn't come to anything more than a kiss but I'm mortified Grace: 6? How old is he?! Ava: Again, not as old as that makes him sound Ava: 22 ish, in his last year Grace: THANK GOD! I was literally picturing like a hot 40 Ava: Somehow that would be less complicated Ava: Unless he was a friend of my parents or something but not trying to hit every cliche before I even start Uni Grace: UGH! remember when I went to the fair with that lad who turned out to be 19 & everyone lost it like I was being groomed 🙄 Grace: such a drama Grace: this seriously doesn't sound that bad Grace: either he's bored of her or having his 🍰 & 😋 Grace: who stopped it at 😘😘? Ava: Well, he did turn out to be a creep didn't he Ava: but he could've been a 15 year old creep as easily, I see your point Ava: He did Ava: his phone kept going off Ava: it must've been her Grace: yeah & like I totally worked it out for myself from reading the vibe Grace: same as you last night Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: did he answer? did you literally have to sit there 🤐!!! Ava: I think I might've got the vibe seriously wrong Ava: well, no Ava: I don't know Ava: we were in a club, he couldn't Ava: but we left real quick and he hasn't looked at me today so that's been fun Grace: oh girl please Grace: trust, as someone who has gotten the vibe wrong WAY more times than we need to admit outside of this convo, you so didn't Grace: he's having a freakout, we've ALL been there too, yeah? Ava: Clearly Ava: 😂 Ava: Oh God Ava: I just need to pretend this never happened and peace Grace: come over Grace: we'll go out & make some new drama happen Grace: soon as you do, you'll know if he's bothered Ava: Sounds good Ava: If I didn't have two other Unis to hit before Summer officially starts 🙄 Grace: OMG you're so extra Ava: Rude 😂 Ava: Not as if I can go here now, is it? Ava: I'm burning through options, girl Grace: ILY for it 💜 Grace: did you wanna go there for real? Ava: Not hugely Ava: it was in my top 5 but its definitely not 🥇 Grace: 🤷💅 Grace: it was obvs a 🏆💋 so Ava: seriously Ava: though I'm probably gonna find out that he's made time for every girl on this program Grace: did you pick up on any other vibes? Ava: I don't think so Ava: He did say other girls were flirting with him though Grace: 😂 boys always say that Grace: literally will have been hitting refresh waiting on you 💬 Ava: Or, they really were and that was a subtle dig that I just ignored Ava: 🤡🤡 Grace: ugh don't Grace: nobody's looked hotter the morning after babes Grace: he'd be the 🤡 Ava: Minus the HP🗲 scar Ava: idk where that came from, which doesn't bode well for how trashed I must've been Grace: if he was as wasted maybe he doesn't remember & that's why he blanked you cos everything is Grace: ��� been there Ava: I wish Ava: like I said, we know each other Grace: do you know his 👰? Ava: 😶 Ava: Just kill me now Grace: has he posted anything? Ava: About how much he 💕 his wife and kids? Ava: Fuck knows Grace: well yeah or idk how wasted he was Grace: anything to go on Ava: His 👰 would not approve Grace: if he doesn't have like a private snap he's no 💔 Ava: Wasn't my first question Ava: Probably does but bit late to ask now Grace: you literally could Grace: cringe but no more cringe than running into him playing happy families when you go get coffee Ava: I'm just gonna leave it Ava: Not a moment too soon Grace: 👌👌💜 Ava: When the alcohol leaves my system my head will be less 🤯 Ava: Standard Grace: his too though Grace: maybe he'll come to you Grace: 🤞 yeah or 🤞 no? Ava: I don't know what I want Ava: or feel about any of it Ava: It's better to just assume nah, a pleasant surprise is always better than disappointment Grace: mhmm Ava: Shut up Ava: I'm confused and hungover, I don't know anything 🙄😏 Grace: no shade Ava: I know Ava: This is too extra Ava: even from me, right Grace: you can wear the 👑 until I earn it back Grace: cos duh who's more extra Grace: me, this hoe Ava: 😂 I'm ready for it Grace: you gotta let me have it there's no 😘💖😍 in my 🔮 Ava: Not even a little? Grace: there was a little but it got too much Grace: too close to being like Grace: I can't Grace: I'm out Ava: I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be, honestly Grace: makes me feel like I'm cracking up Grace: no thanks Ava: Preaching to the converted today Grace: 🙌 Ava: I'll definitely come over some point this Summer though Grace: YAY Grace: I so need you Ava: I think me and the 'rents are going the first two weeks, then I'm going with my friends the last two Ava: so sometime in the middle to play with Grace: ugh if only my mum and dad were organised about anything ever Grace: god knows when or where they'll spring a hol 🙄🙄 Ava: All fun and games Ava: least you get more space these days, I guess Grace: if they're gonna be annoying I'll just bring you with 🤷 Ava: Three holidays would be a record Grace: hot older lad who?! 😂 Grace: Brazil is on another level Ava: If there's sun and sea, I'm happy Grace: you'll be sooo 😊 Ava: 😘 Grace: 💜 Ava: I did not think that would be such a rant Ava: IOU a coffee, I'll ping you the funds rn forreal Grace: As if! like I've NEVER done you that way Grace: shhh Ava: It's done Ava: Consider it a reminder we need a proper catch up when my head is less fried Grace: 👌👌 fine Ava: Don't be mad, it is essential some good happens today Grace: It's fine babes, promise Ava: Good Ava: I better try and finish this essay thing Ava: Or at least make a better start Grace: or at least get yourself a coffee & put some lipstick on Ava: Cheers, I know I look clapped 😂 Grace: shut up Grace: you do not! Ava: I wouldn't wanna chat to me either tbh Grace: Girl, stop Grace: this convo has been wild & I'm living Ava: I meant him, not you 😉 Ava: Only subjected socials to one pic, like Grace: well duh he wants to kiss you again not have a chat Grace: if you wanna talk you'll have to Grace: there's only one kind of convo lads ever start Ava: Hmm Ava: Have better luck with this essay than thinking of something worth saying Grace: what do you wanna say? Grace: like if you could just Ava: Christ Ava: firstly, what the fuck? Grace: he can't shade you for starting there Ava: Though I initiated it so, ugh Grace: he didn't have to go along with any of it Grace: his wife & kids were literally waiting at home for him so Grace: you like deserve to know if there are other girls or not Ava: What's more insane though Ava: asking around every girl on this course, or asking him Ava: There are definite drawbacks either way from where I'm sitting Grace: you said you know him, how much does he lie? Grace: asking him will be more than cringe if you can't believe a word, it'll be pointless Ava: I don't know him like that but Ava: I suppose I've heard that he's a typical lad in most regards so Grace: yeah Ava: but that's from one source so Ava: who's to say they're 100% reliable Grace: right Grace: I'll stalk the other girls, obvs am insane so Ava: No Ava: 'cos then I'll have to tell you who he is Ava: and it'll all get out of hand Grace: OMG do I know him??! Ava: How would you? Ava: 'course not Grace: then why does it matter if you tell me or not? Ava: I'll sort it myself Grace: Ava Grace: is it already out of hand? Ava: That'd depend on who you asked too Grace: I'm asking you Ava: I've got this Grace: promise Ava: 🤞 Grace: 👌

[aaallliiieee]

Everyday I'm googling: what do I have that's valuable to a capitalistic society?? And everyday Google is telling me: virtual assistant! Customer service support! Work from home! Transcription, teaching English, etc! Etc!

And you know what? Maybe. I might have to just suck it up and get a fucking job like everyone else. But - no - not everyone else !!! Some people are doing the kind of work that I want to be doing - that I'd be happy to do every day whether I'm getting paid for it or not - so is the answer, just do those things and hope that somehow money falls into your lap? Is the answer, follow your heart and then sell whatever it manages to produce ? Is the answer ... There is no "answer" there's a million viable options and you have to pick the one, or two, or three, that is doable for you - the work works out, the money works out, the social credibility works out... It's practice, it's finding a balance, it's learning to trust yourself and learning to work with the poverty and the shady tax practices and the paperwork and the... Well, honestly, I don't know what else, but whatever comes up along the way, you learn to work with it and you do the best you can and then you move on! And you keep moving on! And you go and you go and you go and eventually you're 75 years old and you're like, wow, hasn't this been a marvelous life? And then you're 105 and you're like, wow, it's still going, how amazing! And hopefully by then you've bought your land and paid off your loans and established your gardens and cared for your grandchildren who will then help you tend those gardens bc at 105 it's a bit difficult to be out doing yardwork and whatnot. But you do what you can. And you'll live to be 129 and your generations of young people will have grown up behind you and they've had their own young people and on and on, and they'll all be grateful for this space you've created.

(Is this what my grandparents were hoping for? Are they disappointed in me for not just taking my place as a regular working member of society? Are they wondering, what have we done wrong, why is she not working, what is she going to do with her life? Do I owe it to them to choose a predefined profession? A social worker, a teacher? Do they just want to see something familiar and definable and justifiable? Or am I putting that on myself based on what they've shown me, and they're just happy that I exist and I call once a week and so what if I try the artist route, which, nana has said multiple times "everyone I know who's tried to be an artist, has ended up not being an artist" - her sister who ended up working in carpentry, my brother who now works in an iron foundry, etc, etc - what does it matter ? Maybe I'll be the first successful artist in her life. Maybe she'll be proud that of everyone who gave up, her granddaughter kept going and succeeded. "Success" is a vague and subjective term, anyway! It all depends on how I write the narrative! Mary Oliver lived by foraging blueberries and fishing. I can do that. I can tell my grandparents, yes, I sold a story last week, it's published in a magazine, yes I sold a sculpture and it's in someone's personal collection, yes I sold 15 prints at the festival last week and yes I sold a large painting for $500 and yes I'm enjoying my life and yes I'm eating and yes I'm incredibly unbelievably happy. Yes, I'm doing good, yes, I'm successful, yes, this is working. That's all there is to it. 100% I can make it work.)

And then; eventually, buying land and settling down and "starting a family" or gathering a family with all the friends I've made along the way, everyone is desperate to escape and we can make it happen. We can create a new way of living for ourselves and our future generations. And we're not the only ones, we're one drop in a sea of so many others, and I can learn from them and we can make it work together.

But first: getting there: getting down to the earth and learning how to do things that ought to be common knowledge, growing plants, tending soil, making friends with the wildlife so they don't destroy your crops; learning and learning and learning, working and working and working. Making friends with people who already know how to do what you're trying to do, who can help you see the way forward. Saving money for a down payment on a property with a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom farmhouse and enough flat spaces to build some tiny outbuildings. Building and building and building. Starting here with a leap into the unknown, with acceptance of the fact that I won't have a "normal job" for a year or two or five, that I'm finding my own way through the pathless woods and eventually I'll come upon a clearing in the forest with a bonfire and a gathering of like-minded folks who will walk with me the rest of the way. The field beyond ideas of right and wrong... We're headed there. Believe in it and trust yourself and understand that nothing ever existed without someone who imagined it and worked towards it and lived at least 50 years before they could make it happen.

Anyway. I'm rambling. What do I want to do for this next year? Research - festivals and work exchange and visiting places and people who are already doing what I want to be doing. Learning outside the structures of traditional education. Believing in myself as an artist and a healer and a ~multipotentialite~ and a Friend, God Damnit! I'm just enjoying my fucking life! Is that such a crime! Why do I feel like that in itself is not the most worthy of goals!! I'm learning to enjoy living and then I will learn to enjoy working and then I will create a place where people can come to do the same, to enjoy their lives and enjoy whatever special things they have to offer. Life is a miracle. We act like it's a burden. We force ourselves to treat it like a burden. I'm over it. I'm enjoying this time on this magical planet and I'm tired of feeling like I have to suffer in order to justify my existence. I'm a goddamn blessing to my future generations of offspring. You're allowed to just enjoy your life and give whatever you have to give. You don't have to force yourself to be something you're not. Relax and enjoy the ride. I love you. Thanks for reading this. ❤️

[astrovksoni]

How to start right in astronomy?

"DEAR friends today we discuss about that how can we start right in astronomy." I have always been fascinated with the stars and universe. What would you suggest my first step be to get into the hobby, so that I might get the most enjoyment out of it?"

It's a good question, one that deserves better answers than most beginners find. Many newcomers to astronomy call us in exasperation after blundering down some wrong trail that leaves them lost and frustrated. Such experiences, widely shared, create a general public impression that astronomy is a tough hobby to get into. But this impression is altogether wrong and unnecessary.

Many other hobbies that have magazines, conventions, and vigorous club scenes have developed effective ways to welcome and orient beginners. Why can't we? For starters, novice astronomers would have more success if a few simple, well-chosen direction signs were posted for them at the beginning of the trail.

What advice would help beginners the most? Sky & Telescope editors brainstormed this question. Pooling thoughts from more than 200 years of collective experience answering the phone and mail, we came up with a number of pointers to help newcomers past the pitfalls and onto the straightest route to success.

1. Ransack your public library. Astronomy is a learning hobby. Its joys come from intellectual discovery and knowledge of the cryptic night sky. But unless you live near an especially large and active astronomy club, you have to make these discoveries, and gain this knowledge, by yourself. In other words, you need to become self-taught.

The public library is the beginner's most important astronomical tool. Maybe you found Sky & Telescopethere. Comb through the astronomy shelf for beginner's guides. Look for aids to learning the stars you see in the evening sky. One of the best is the big two-page sky map that appears near the center of every month's Sky & Telescope, which the library should have. When a topic interests you, follow it up in further books.

Many people's first impulse, judging from the phone calls, is to look for someone else to handle their education -- an evening course offering, a planetarium, or some other third party. These can be stimulating and helpful. But almost never do they present what you need to know right now, and you waste an enormous amount of time commuting when you should be observing. Self-education is something you do yourself, with books, using the library.

2. Learn the sky with the naked eye. Astronomy is an outdoor nature hobby. Go into the night and learn the starry names and patterns overhead. Sky & Telescope will always have its big, round all-sky map for evening star-finding. Other books and materials will fill in the lore and mythology of the constellations the map shows, and how the stars change through the night and the seasons. Even if you go no further, the ability to look up and say "There's Arcturus!" will provide pleasure, and perhaps a sense of place in the cosmos, for the rest of your life.

3. Don't rush to buy a telescope. Many hobbies require a big cash outlay up front. But astronomy, being a learning hobby, has no such entrance fee. Conversely, paying a fee will not buy your way in.

Thinking otherwise is the most common beginner's mistake. Half the people who call for help ask, "How do I see anything with this %@&*# telescope?!" They assumed that making a big purchase was the essential first step.

It doesn't work that way. To put a telescope to rewarding use, you first need to know the constellations as seen with the naked eye, be able to find things among them with sky charts, know something of what a telescope will and will not do, and know enough about the objects you're seeking to recognize and appreciate them.

The most successful, lifelong amateur astronomers are often the ones who began with the least equipment. What they lacked in gear they had to make up for in study, sky knowledge, map use, and fine-tuning their observing eyes. These skills stood them in good stead when the gear came later.

Is there a shortcut? In recent years computerized, robotic scopes have come on the market that point at astronomical objects automatically. They represent an enormous change. No longer do you need to know the sky.

Once fully set up, a computerized scope is a lot faster than the old way of learning the sky and using a map -- assuming you know what's worth telling the computer to point at. But they're expensive, and opinions about them are divided. For beginners, at least, there's some consensus that a computerized scope can be a crutch that prevents you from learning to get around by yourself and will leave you helpless if anything goes wrong. Moreover, you miss out on the pleasures of making your own journeys through the heavens.

At star parties beneath gorgeous black, star-sprinkled skies, we have seen beginners struggling for hours with electronics when they should have been sweeping the heavens overhead. Is this just the carping of old fogeys? The jury is still out.

4. Start with binoculars. A pair of binoculars is the ideal "first telescope," for several reasons. Binoculars show you a wide field, making it easy to find your way around; a higher-power telescope magnifies only a tiny, hard-to-locate spot of sky. Binoculars give you a view that's right-side up and straight in front of you, making it easy to see where you're pointing. An astronomical telescope's view is upside down, sometimes mirror-imaged, and usually presented at right angles to the line of sight. Binoculars are also fairly inexpensive, widely available, and a breeze to carry and store.

And their performance is surprisingly respectable. Ordinary 7- to 10-power binoculars improve on the naked-eye view about as much as a good amateur telescope improves on the binoculars. In other words they get you halfway there for something like a tenth to a quarter of the price -- an excellent cost-benefit ratio.

For astronomy, the larger the front lenses are the better. High optical quality is important too. But anybinocular that's already knocking around the back of your closet is enough to launch an amateur-astronomy career.

5. Get serious about maps and guidebooks. Once you have the binoculars, what do you do with them? You can have fun looking at the Moon and sweeping the star fields of the Milky Way, but that will wear thin after a while. However, if you've learned the constellations and obtained detailed sky maps, binoculars can keep you busy for a lifetime.

They'll reveal most of the 109 "M objects," the star clusters, galaxies, and nebulae cataloged by Charles Messier in the late 18th century. Binoculars will show the ever-changing positions of Jupiter's satellites and the crescent phase of Venus. On the Moon you can learn dozens of craters, plains, and mountain ranges by name. You can split scores of colorful double stars and spend years following the fadings and brightenings of variable stars. If you know what to look for.

A sailor of the seas needs top-notch charts, and so does a sailor of the stars. Fine maps bring the fascination of hunting out faint secrets in hidden sky realms. Many reference books describe what's to be hunted and the nature of the objects you find. Moreover, the skills you'll develop using maps and reference books with binoculars are exactly the skills you'll need to put a telescope to good use.

6. Find other amateurs. Self-education is fine as far as it goes, but there's nothing like sharing an interest with others. There are more than 400 astronomy clubs in North America alone; see the directory on Sky & Telescope's Web site. Call the clubs near you. Maybe you'll get invited to monthly meetings or nighttime star parties and make a lot of new friends. Clubs range from tiny to huge, from moribund to vital. But none would have published a phone number unless they hoped you would call.

Computer networks offer another way to contact other amateurs. CompuServe, America Online, and the Internet all have active astronomy areas. These present a constant flow of interesting news and chatter by amateurs who are quick to offer help, opinions, and advice.

7. When it's time for a telescope, plunge in deep.Eventually you'll know you're ready. You'll have spent hours poring over books and ad brochures. You'll know the different kinds of telescopes, what you can expect of them, and what you'll do with the one you pick.

This is no time to scrimp on quality; shun the flimsy, semi-toy "department store" scopes that may have caught your eye. The telescope you want has two essentials. One is a solid, steady, smoothly working mount. The other is high-quality optics -- "diffraction-limited" or better. You may also want large aperture (size), but don't forget portability and convenience. The telescope shouldn't be so heavy that you can't tote it outdoors, set it up, and take it down reasonably easily. The old saying is true: "The best telescope for you is the one you'll use the most.

Can't afford it? Save up until you can. Another year of using binoculars while building a savings account will be time you'll never regret. It's foolish to blow half-accumulated telescope money on something second rate that will disappoint. Or consider building the scope yourself, an activity that many clubs support.

8. Lose your ego. Astronomy teaches patience and humility -- and you'd better be prepared to learn them. There's nothing you can do about the clouds blocking your view, the extreme distance and faintness of the objects you desire most, or the timing of the long-anticipated event for which you got all set up one minute late. The universe will not bend to your wishes; you must take it on its own terms.

Most of the objects within reach of any telescope, no matter how large or small it is, are barely within its reach. Most of the time you'll be hunting for things that appear very dim, small, or both. If flashy visuals are what you're after, go watch TV.

"Worthiness" is the term entering the amateur language for the humble perseverance that brings the rewards in this hobby. The term was coined by Ken Fulton, author of The Light-Hearted Astronomer(1984) -- a book describing the hobby as a jungle full of snares, quicksand, and wild beasts that only those with the spiritual skills of a martial artist can traverse unmauled. It's really not that bad -- but there are definitely times when a Zen calmness will help you through.

9. Relax and have fun. Part of losing your ego is not getting upset at your telescope because it's less than perfect. Perfection doesn't exist, no matter what you paid. Don't be compulsive about things like cleaning lenses and mirrors or the organization of your observing notebook.

And don't feel compelled to do "useful work" right away. Ultimately, the most rewarding branches of amateur astronomy involve scientific data collecting -- venturing into the nightly wilderness to bring home a few bits of data that will advance humanity's knowledge of the universe in some tiny but real way. Such a project often marks the transformation from "beginner" to "advanced amateur," from casual sightseer to cosmic fanatic. But it only works for some people, and only when they're good and ready.

Amateur astronomy should be calming and fun. If you find yourself getting wound up over your eyepiece's aberrations or Pluto's invisibility, take a deep breath and remember that you're doing this because you enjoy it. Take it only as fast or as slow, as intense or as easy, as is right for you.

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Buster

Bea: Why are you not here? Buster: I decided to stay Bea: And how is it that was something you reckoned you could just decide Bea: We've been over this, and you're only allowed to visit on the assurance you keep doing what you're meant to, when you're meant to Buster: I am doing what I'm meant to Buster: But cheers for the concern Bea: You're meant to be at School Bea: how many times are you going to make me repeat myself of this when it's not up for discussion Buster: There's no need to repeat yourself Buster: I've sorted things with school same as before Bea: You're so close to finishing you just need to get this done Bea: Do it right, there's no point phoning it in because you won't get into the Unis you want so if you're not gonna put the effort in now Bea: Don't bother at all Buster: I'm doing what I need to do, I've already told you Buster: I don't enjoy repeating myself either, like Bea: I fail to see how you have the time Bea: You're clearly distracted or you wouldn't be there Buster: There's a thing called multi-tasking, you should try it Bea: Do not talk to me like that Bea: This isn't negotiable Bea: Next flight home Buster: I know it's not Buster: I'm staying here Bea: You're not Bea: For God's sake, you know this is pathetic, don't you Buster: I know that's what you think Bea: It really is, you're not capable of going five minutes without seeing each other Buster: I'm not actually that fucking selfish it might surprise you to realise Buster: How are you this detached from everything that's going on here right now? Bea: Edie always goes missing Bea: Is it reasonable or practical for us to drop our lives every time she does? No Buster: Jesus Bea: What? Bea: It's not that I'm not sympathetic but how do you expect to help by being there Buster: You have no idea how much is on her shoulders, do you? Bea: Who's? Buster: Rio's Bea: I'm sure there is Bea: there is on everyone's but you've got your own to deal with Buster: No I don't Buster: Like I said, school is sorted Bea: How can I trust what you say Bea: I'll be seeing for myself how sorted it actually is Buster: I keep my word, I always have Buster: That should be enough Bea: No, you keep everything from us Bea: You don't say where you are, what you're doing Bea: and still you expect us to not only be fine with it but believe it too Buster: That isn't fair, I've kept things from you 'cause I've had to Buster: Same as I'm doing what I have to do now Bea: Just because we aren't going to agree with or say yes to every decision you make isn't reason to behave like this Bea: that's immature, how do you expect to be taken seriously? Buster: I'm not a child Buster: And this isn't about you Bea: No, you aren't Bea: Stop behaving like one Buster: Stop treating me like one Bea: How can I Bea: You're giving me no reason not to, and ample to see how we've given you too much freedom Buster: I know what I'm doing Buster: There's your reason Bea: You think you do but you aren't thinking bigger picture Buster: You raised me, you should know what I'm capable of Bea: Can you not just be normal and do what you're bloody told for once in your life Buster: Don't tell me I'm not normal Buster: And again, you raised me, so don't expect no challenge to your authority like Buster: You're lucky enough that Nance goes along with what you say Bea: Well Bea: I'm trying to get you to do what's right for you Buster: I am, mum Buster: Believe it or don't Bea: I don't Buster: Why? Buster: What more do you want from me? Bea: It isn't going to happen Buster: What? Bea: You aren't going to stop all this, are you Bea: So, do what you want, I wash my hands of you Buster: Come on Buster: It doesn't have to be like this Buster: You said you wanted me to be happy Bea: I do but it isn't as easy as that Bea: accepting this Buster: I don't see what's so difficult Bea: You wouldn't, you're not a parent Bea: You have an idea of what you want for your kids Bea: and obviously, this wasn't it Buster: What the fuck am I doing that's so wrong? Buster: I'm getting the best grades, I'll be able to get into any uni I want Buster: I'm in love, I'm happy Buster: What's the problem? Bea: It's too soon, you're too young Bea: Never mind the unavoidable fact she's your cousin Buster: It's not and I'm not Buster: But at least we've got to the real issue Bea: Yes it is, do you see anyone else getting engaged at your age Buster: We're not anyone else, we're us Bea: You can't know what you want for the rest of your life at this age, it's ridiculous Buster: Why can't I? You did Buster: Christ, what difference does it make if I get married now or in 10 years Bea: No I didn't Bea: just because it worked out that way doesn't mean I did Bea: at least you'll have lived some life Buster: We're gonna do it together Buster: That's what we want Bea: And you're fine paying for her, are you? Buster: I don't pay for her, she pays for herself Bea: It's not a sustainable career is it Buster: Not that it's any of your business but she's got career plans beyond this Bea: No, of course not Bea: it's never my business Bea: it's only my money you're wasting Buster: Are we really gonna do this? Buster: You're gonna tell me how to spend now Buster: What do you want a fucking spreadsheet of my expenses? Bea: Yeah Bea: That's actually reasonable Buster: Get Nancy's and then we'll talk Bea: Don't try and make this about your sister Bea: she's actually going to school Bea: and she has less reason to want to be there Buster: If we're doing this then it is about her too Buster: There's not one rule for me and another for my sister, like Bea: Fine Bea: It's irrelevant, we didn't raise either of you to be entitled brats Buster: Then stop treating me like I am Buster: I'm not a kid wasting my pocket money on sweets Bea: Just on countless flights, engagement rings you don't need Bea: I could go on Buster: I literally do need a ring to be engaged, it's kind of the point Bea: You don't need to be engaged Buster: I don't need to still be in school or go to uni either Buster: But I want to Bea: You do if you want to get anywhere in life Bea: so no, not the same thing but nice try Buster: Why can't you see that I need her too? Buster: She's as important to be Buster: More Bea: I'm not saying you can't be together Bea: do you have to do this Buster: Yes Bea: Why Bea: It makes no difference Buster: It does to me Buster: And you wouldn't say that to Nance if she still wasn't allowed to get gay married Bea: Don't make the comparison Bea: You aren't opressed, either of you Bea: Christ Buster: Nobody wants us to be together Buster: It's not that different Bea: I'm just asking you to not get married Bea: this very second Bea: I don't know why that's so much to ask, apparently Buster: 'Cause you only want that in the hopes that I'll change my mind Bea: And I'm not planning to fund an entire wedding for you Bea: Just cool it down, you said you would Buster: When have I ever said that? Bea: You aren't earning, and you're not going to be earning for years yet Buster: Jesus Buster: You didn't care when I was spending all my money on champagne and coke, did you? Buster: Don't make this about money when it clearly isn't Bea: Obviously, I didn't know because no Bea: I would not be happy about that either Buster: I've made so many mistakes and now that I'm finally doing what's right for me you wanna treat it like it's somehow the worst one Bea: How could it be right Bea: I just don't see it Buster: How can it be wrong to love someone who loves you as much Buster: To be happy and build a life that you actually want Bea: I don't know Bea: Just for God's sake Bea: give people more time Buster: I stayed away from her for years for the sake of everyone else Buster: Why should I? Bea: Because no one knew that Bea: I've not had years to process this Buster: It doesn't matter Buster: They can take all the time they want to get used to us being together Buster: They'll have forever if they need it Bea: Right Bea: Well if that's how it is, I have nothing to add Buster: Fine Buster: Good talk, mum Bea: What did you expect Buster: Honestly, nothing Buster: Exactly this Bea: Good, then I'm the only one that's disappointed Buster: Oh no, I'm very disappointed, just not surprised Bea: What would you like me to do Bea: Honestly Buster: At least trust me and accept this if you can't be happy for me Bea: It's your life now Bea: you'll do what you want with it Bea: regardless Buster: Yeah but I still want you in it Bea: Whatever for? Buster: 'Cause you're my mum Buster: For one thing Bea: Oh yeah? Bea: Only when it suits you Buster: Don't Bea: Why not Bea: it's the truth of the matter Buster: No it's not Bea: Well that's how it seems Buster: Do you actually think any of this is how I want things to be? Buster: Christ Bea: Then do something about it Buster: I can't tell you things 'cause you don't support me Bea: You want unconditional support then go somewhere else Bea: You're not getting it when you're wrong Buster: All I want is for you not to make me feel like a failure for no fucking reason Bea: We'll see when you get your results Buster: Are you gonna apologise then? Bea: No Buster: Then why would I bother showing them to you Bea: This conversation is ridiculous Buster: 'Cause you're being ridiculous Buster: You want me to focus on school on the one hand, but on the other you're gonna force me into getting a job 'cause money is apparently such an issue all of a sudden Bea: The issue is how you're spending it and your time Bea: Do you understand how hard law school is going to be? Bea: You aren't going to have time for all this Buster: I'm spending both how I need to Buster: You have no idea about law school, you haven't done it Buster: All you're doing is underestimating me Buster: To try and split us up Bea: I know how hard it is Bea: I don't need firsthand experience Buster: Well, I don't need you to tel me how hard it is, or is going to be Bea: You don't want to be told Bea: Anything Buster: I don't wanna hear your self serving bullshit, no Bea: That's rich Buster: It suits you to tell me how hard shit might be 'cause you don't wanna hear anything about how much easier she makes things for me Bea: Well I'm sure it's very nice not going to School, yeah Buster: Fuck this Bea: That's about right Buster: For good reason Bea: Goodbye, Buster Buster: Whatever Bea: Mature Bea: Well done Buster: Nothing I do now is gonna impress you Buster: Forget it Bea: I don't need to be impressed Buster: Act like it then Bea: Don't ever tell me what to do Buster: Why would I? I've wasted my breath enough for one conversation Bea: Try 18 years down the drain then you can talk to me about disappointment, kid Buster: Say how you really feel, mum Buster: Fucking hell Buster: You know what, don't bother any more Buster: Just stay out of my life and then you won't have to feel anything Bea: I've tried being nice with you, I've tried trusting you Bea: None of it has worked Buster: Don't give up your day job if that's what you reckon Bea: Oh yeah, I'm such a horrible mother Buster: You don't know how to trust me, that's what I'm saying Bea: Trust gets you nowhere Buster: Bullshit Buster: Nothing I do is ever gonna be good enough, that's the real issue here Buster: If I wasn't with Rio you'd find something else to pick a hole in Bea: That's not true Buster: Yeah it is Buster: You love it when I fuck up 'cause it proves you right Buster: That's why you're hoping this is another mistake Buster: Unlucky Bea: Why would I want that Bea: what exactly do I get out of being right? Buster: 'Cause you know I'll come running to you Buster: Just like I did with the Chlo thing Bea: Please Bea: I have enough to be getting on with in my own life Buster: Good thing I don't need you then, yeah? Bea: If only that were remotely true Buster: Don't worry, I'll make it happen for you Buster: Starting now, like Bea: Like you said, I don't trust you Buster: So don't Buster: It's still happening, just like me getting married is Buster: We're done here Bea: Good luck Buster: I don't want or need that from you Bea: Nonetheless Buster: Bye mum