#if shes asleep i could see it being sth said as shes waking from a dream but while awake it doesnt make much sense

[wraith-caller]

This is interesting... In the above video, the player attacks and kills Fia. A lot of people believe the death rancor spell that typically shows up is evidence that Godwyn is protecting Fia, given that she says "Godwyn, is that you dear?" as she awakes from sleeping. But here, she is awake, and still says this line, and the rancor spell doesn't happen at all.

[scorsoneamelia]

You may be able to write sth about link being sick or sth about then having a second child or amelia and link doing a research together

omg omg ok i like this!! it’s taken me a while to write because i’ve been out of town and i miss amelink :((( FLUFFY AMELINK!!! this sucks and i’ve been editing it for days but fluffy link isn’t my strongest pieces but i’m planning on doing better send me more inspiration too because writers block lmao also im so sorry it wouldn’t let me add a Keep Reading thingy so sorry that this takes up ur feed :(        Most would agree that Autumn was the best season of the year, trees changing colours from yellows to oranges before shredding their leaves onto the grass. People wearing sweaters and hoodies, tea and hot chocolate in their hands. Fall gave you a warm feeling, a season that everyone couldn’t wait for. It was October 31st--- Halloween. The evening was cool, a crisp breeze that was enough to make you want to wrap a blanket around yourself and drink a warm cup of hot chocolate. It wasn’t freezing out there, but it was definitely cool. The house was decorated with Halloween decorations; inside and outside. Link went all out this year, buying as many Halloween products he could get his hands onto. The entire front yard, and front of the house had skeletons, witches, spiders, spider webs, ghosts; literally everything and anything. He had spent an entire day climbing onto the roof, even using ladders to get up higher onto the trees and roof of the house so that he could make the house look as scary as possible. Amelia never got a decision in a Halloween costume for Scout, Link just showed up with a pumpkin costume and insisted that it was the costume.         Zola went as a doctor; neurosurgeon she specified. “Just like my dad.” It wasn’t even a tough choice for her, it was the first costume in mind and that’s what she wanted to go as all year. Bailey was a superhero---Spiderman. And Ellis; a princess. They all had the day off, all planning to go trick or treating with the kids-- at least that was the plan.         “It’s okay, just go.” Link insisted, he was curled up onto the couch, two thick blankets covering his body and he was sweating. “I’m not letting this be the reason you miss Scout’s first Halloween.” Link came down with a flu the night before, a slight fever and nausea. Although he’d never admit it, he was a baby and as much as he wanted Amelia to stay home with him, he’d never tell her that.         The wood burning in the fireplace was cracking, hot chocolate was being made, Halloween movies were playing on the television; a perfect night. Perfect aside from the fact Link was literally shivering while also having beads of sweat running down his forehead. “Link,” Amelia started. “You’re sick.”          “I’ll bring Scout out with us,” Meredith offered. “He’ll be back in an hour.” She stood at the front door, Scout already in his pumpkin costume in a secure stroller, Zola with a pillow case slung over her shoulder because she wanted to get as much candy as she could. Bailey already had one foot out of the door and Ellis’ hand was gripped onto Maggie’s and she was jumping on the balls of her feet.          “Can we go now? Can we go now?” Ellis begged, only tugging on Maggie’s hand towards the door. Amelia turned to Link, gave him a what should I do? face. She didn’t want to leave Link at the house by himself, and she most definitely didn’t want to miss Scout in a cute pumpkin costume on his first Halloween.           “Okay, wait,” Amelia reached for her cellphone, pulling open the camera app before making her way over to Scout. “I need pictures before you go.” His head was slightly titled to the side, his cheeks chubby and he was sleeping. A drop of drool sitting in the crease of his cheeks, and Amelia’s heart melted.           “You guys already have so many pictures.” Maggie laughed, remembering the night Link bought the costume and raced to put it on Scout to see if it fit, and when it was a perfect fit Link was taking hundreds of pictures and videos.            “There’s never enough pictures.” The smile on Amelia’s face was genuine, it reached her eyes, you could see the happiness in her blue eyes and she just loved him so much. She can’t remember the last time she was this happy, or when the last time she was living such a perfect moment.            “Let’s go! Can we go?” Bailey begged now, already grabbing onto the door knob and twisting it open. Zola followed, adjusting the fake stethoscope around her neck. Before Meredith could push Scout’s stroller through the front door, Amelia was leaning forward and planting a soft kiss on her sons face.           “Have fun, baby. Daddy and I love you so much.” Scout was still asleep, and the other kids were already out of the front door before Maggie was pulling it shut, giving Amelia a wave before it was just the two of them.            “You know you could have went with them.” Link said, his voice hoarse from getting sick and emptying out his stomach from earlier in the day. “I can take care of myself.” He was pulling the blanket up higher onto his body, as if the house was freezing even though it was warm, the fire burning in the fireplace.            “I’ll make you some tea,” she ignored his request. “Or would you rather hot chocolate?” She was already in the kitchen and before Link could answer she was pouring him a warm tea.           Minutes later she was making her way back, a hot chocolate for herself in one hand and a tea in the other. The Nightmare Before Christmas was playing on the television, a movie Zola picked for her and Uncle Link to watch while she was waiting for her siblings to get ready. Amelia was already sitting down on the couch beside Link, passing him his tea.          “Thank you,” he said softly and wrapping his hands around the warm cup. “Amelia, you really didn’t have to stay.”          “Well, it’s too late now. I’m here, I’m staying and we’ll watch movies, and hand out candy to trick or treaters,” she grabbed onto the end of the blanket Link was using to cover her legs up with it. “All while you rest. Sleep---get better.”           “Well, some cuddles from you might just do the trick.” And Link was resting his head in her lap, the blanket covering both of them while Amelia’s hands were running through his sandy blonde hair, in hopes to relax him.           The movie was only playing for ten minutes before she heard a soft snore come out of Link’s mouth, Amelia’s fingers still weaving through his hair, and he was sleeping. That was the goal, he needed to sleep. A new baby doesn’t exactly give them the most time throughout the night to get a full night’s rest, and Link being sick wasn’t helping. So she was going to let him sleep, even though she won’t be moving up from this spot on the couch until he wakes, and she didn’t really mind.          The popping off the fireplace, the television on, kids laughter coming from the streets, Link snoring softly in her lap, and Scout was cute. These are the moments people lived for, these moments--- are the reasons she’s happy that she’s sober and that she’s happy she’s alive. 

[teeztheflag]

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S c h m e r z (Pain)

⋆ pairing: demon!ateez x reader (poly!ateez)

⋆ genre: demon au, suggestive, crack

⋆ warnings: strong language, use of medicine, suggestive topics, pet names, cheating, alcohol, partying, suggestive topics, angst, lots of arguments, mentions of killing, manipulation

⋆ words: 10,100  

a/n: @unatempesta-dipensieri​ this is for you honey 

⋆  „What’s a little bird like you doing here alone?“

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„Good morning!“ Woo Young enters the dining area with a huge grin on his face and Seong Hwa chuckles at the little strands of hair that are standing up from his head.

Soon the others join the clan on the table and start to dig into the delicious breakfast. „Wait, is (y/n) not up yet?“ Seong Hwa eyes the round and his gaze stops at Yun Ho and Min Gi who are trying everything to avoid their hyung‘s look.

Hong Joong quirks an eyebrow and sips on his tea. „Guys, did you do something to her?“ That’s what makes Yeo Sang‘s eyes turn into a crimson color eyeing the two demons, too.

„Woah, I mean, calm down... She’s upstairs still sleeping. Yun Ho and me wanted to wake her up but she was still so sleepy.“

The others only nod silently at his answer. Usually you’re always the first when it comes to eating but there could be many reasons why you are not joining them.

San munches on his toast while listing them off in his head one by one.

First, you could be really sleepy because you and the others watched movies until three am this morning and now it’s 8.46 am.

Second, you were embarrassed because you fell asleep on the couch although you swore you wouldn’t sleep at theirs for the beginning.

Which also leads to the third reason, you realized that you woke up in Yun Ho‘s bed sandwiched between him and Min Gi and now are even more embarrassed.

And Fourth, you just pretend to sleep and wait for him and Woo Young to come upstairs and give you the best fuc -

„San? Are you even listening?“

„Yeeeees, sorry.“

„Ah, really? Then repeat what I said.“ Hong Joong watches him while the brown haired boy smirks mischievously. The leader sighs and puts down his napkin.

„I said for the next time we have to watch out for (y/n) but without her noticing. We all know she would freak out if she knew but it’s for her best. I guess she’s still not understanding that many demons are after a marked female...“

„What? Are you talking about me?“ All their heads turn around to see you standing in the doorway wearing a shirt from Yun Ho which comes off as definitely oversized and they all think you look too cute like this.

„Are you awake now, cupcake?“

You frown at Woo Young.

„What did I say about the nicknames? I am still tired but I guess my appetite awakened me.“

After eating breakfast with the demons you got a shower and quickly went back home but not without going through a lot of protests from the boys. Honestly, you were very embarrassed about falling asleep at their house although you made it clear you wanted to take things slow but - you were just so tired. Even now sitting at your desk in your dorm room you couldn’t concentrate at all.

In a few hours you had go to your part time job and you felt like falling asleep in any second. You groaned out and let you head fall onto the surface of the table closing your eyes. Great. Now a headache was coming around, too.

This night you fell into your bed very exhausted. You didn’t make any progress in studying this afternoon and also your boss had been very shitty to you at your shift today. All you wanted was to sleep...

Much to your dismay you only felt worse this morning but got up nevertheless to go to your courses. A pain killer could maybe help a little bit and so you swallowed the pill and grabbed your bag. You already were late so you passed the campus with quick steps and nearly collapsed into the chair for your first lecture.

It only worsened throughout the day. You were on your way back to the dorm and felt really hot. Your limbs hurt and the headache came back. Black dots formed in front of your vision and you quickly found a bench to rest.

Suddenly you saw Jong Ho emerging you with a stern expression on his face. „(y/n)?“

He placed his hand on your forehead and frowned.

„What are you doing here?“ You felt the urge to close your eyes out of exhaustion. You were convinced that something was not right with you by now but you never felt like this before.

Your eyes flattered open and you noticed the change of your surroundings. You were placed neatly into Hong Joong‘s bed. The curtains were closed creating a comfortable brightness in the room. The air conditioning system was turned on and you felt a wet cloth on your forehead.

You felt a lot better and noticing no one was around you turned your head a little bit to the cushion you layed on and smelled the wonderful scent of the demon.

How can someone smell this good?

You giggled at your own awkwardness and quickly arranged yourself when the door carefully opened.

Inside Yeo Sang, Hong Joong and Seong Hwa came. You made eye-contact with everyone of them and stopped at the youngest of the three.

Shit, hopefully he doesn’t read my thoughts about Hong Joong‘s wonderful scent. Heck, (y/n)! Stop thinking... He doesn’t look away! Start singing... Bulleo bulleo mhhmhmhm

You continued humming to the song in your head totally unaware of how the three sat down on the bed and Yeo Sang looking out of the window with a knowing smirk on his face.

„Can you not stop that?“

„I am sorry (y/n). I didn’t chose this ability.“

„What even is going on here?“ Hong Joong and Seong Hwa look between you and Yeo Sang but when no one answers them Seong Hwa clears his throat to gain everyone‘s attention.

„At least you are not ranting about being again in one of our beds - “

„Now that you’re mentioning it how - ah, wait... Jong Ho brought me here, right?“

„Yes. You had a high fever and blacked out so we thought it would be the best to bring you to our place and give you some medicine. How are you feeling now?“

„Better... I just don’t know how I became ill it’s definitely not the season for it.“

„(y/n) maybe you had contact to someone - “

When Yeo Sang tried to touch your forearm you suddenly felt a harsh pain at your wrist just like the last time that crazy guy appeared.

„Ahhh ... fuck! h- hurts..“

„(y/n)!“ Hong Joong and the other two demons try to look from where the pain comes and the leader‘s eyes change into a crimson when he realizes it’s your mark.

Soon the others are in the room trying to figure out what’s wrong because they feel the distress of their clan brothers.

Your forehead is sweaty and Yeo Sang also has to take a step back from the bed clutching at his head out of pain.

„What the hell is happening here?!“ Woo Young shouts and Yun Ho comes to lay a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

Luckily the pain soon vanishes leaving you blacked out again and the fever higher than before.

Downstairs the boys except of Yeo Sang who still sits by your side settled together and debate on what was happening with you.

„I first thought it could be a normal flu or something but now that her wrist burnt where our mark is I think it’s has to do with us and the bond.“ Seong Hwa says.

„Mh, also me and Yeo Sang felt it, too.“

„Here, I got the book.“ Yun Ho enters the living room area with quick steps and places it on the table.

„Okay, I think I found something...“ This caught the interest of the other demons who where scattered around the place by now and building a circle around the book and Seong Hwa very fast.

„Seems like her body and soul starts fighting our mark...“

„What the fuck?! How and why?!“

„Jong Ho, calm down.“ San embraces his brother form behind to calm him down while Hong Joong might start to realize what is really happening here.

„Listen! It also says that it can be due to the human itself or if another demon tries to claim him or her.“

„I think the first option is bullshit because we talked about this so who’s the motherfucker trying to take away my kitten from me?!“

„San, first - it’s not only your kitten and secondly - the nickname‘s stupid. Let’s agree on babygirl.“

Seong Hwa proudly smirks at his idea and San coughs at that.

„*cough* pervert *cough*“

„Guys, can we please focus on (y/n) and not such unnecessarily things?“

„Jong Ho is right. It’s cupcake anyways.“ Woo Young high-fives with Min Gi and grins.

Hong Joong only facepalms and groans.

„Stop. We have to figure out who’s behind this until then we continue watching her and talk about every little change we notice. Alright, guys?“ Everyone nods at him and looks up when Yeo Sang comes down the stairs shock evident on his face.

„How is she?“

„Sleeping. It’s angel you idiots!“

The next days your condition got better and the demons were relieved to see you quite energized and healthy again. You were thankful they took such good care of you but it was time to get back to your lectures and work everything up.

yunhoe: wanna grab a coffee after your last lecture? (´｡• ω •｡`)

you: yeh I pay

yunhoe: why? let your bestfriend treat you

you: you want sth in return

yunhoe: would never ( `ε´ )

you: you’re turning into a woo young version 2.0 these last weeks

yunhoe: :‘( the betrayal

You smile at your display and link your arms with your female bestfriend Hyo Lyn when she emerges you with a big grin while walking to the other campus.

„Oh, who’s the poor guy.“

„You’re mean (y/l/n) (y/n). He’s a very lucky boy and his name is Seok Woo.“

You stop in your tracks and eye her suspiciously. „If I hear a page being turned in the next seconds I am outta here.“

„Gosh, stop watching those dramas.“

„That only proves you watched it, too!“

„Of course. Now I can have my own Ha Ru.“ You laughed out loud gaining a few questionable looks from other students at how Hyo Lyn emphasizes the name.

Inside the lecture hall you sit down next to each other still gossiping a little bit and cringe when she tells you that last weekend at a fraternity party Choi San and Jung Woo Young were seen having a threesome with one of the prettiest girls of the campus.

Such dickheads. While you’re ill they go out having their fun and then still lie about having feelings for you!

„You’re alright?“

„Of course I am why wouldn’t I!“ Hyo Lyn shrieks back at your outburst which again draws the interest of many people in the hall to you.

„Haha, I mean, they’re both really hot and you’re at theirs so often! Do you think Yun Ho would have something against it? Or are you still playing hide and seek with Kang and Kim?“

You could’ve banged your head onto the table but stopped yourself before.

„Can we just forget I ever told you about this?“

„Ehm, no. Look, gaining the interest of the Kim Hong Joong and Kang Yeo Sang is a dream coming to life! Maybe you could ask them for a threesome?“

„Fuck, Hyo Lyn! Stop this nonsense.“ Your cheeks were painted so red you had to cool them down with your palms leaving your bestfriend a laughing mess next to you.

After the lecture ended you checked the bus line and saw that there was a technical issue which let to a high delay for the next one. To be punctual for Yun Ho you had to run across the campus and catch the next one which would take a lot more time than usually.

While running you accidentally have your eyes only a second on your phone checking the time and of course bang into someone who luckily caught you pretty effortlessly.

„Shit, I apologize a lot! I am in a hurry and - “

„Well, hello my love.“ You really couldn’t believe your eyes. In front of you the perverted demon stands eyeing you with an amused look.

„You!“

He laughs still holding you in his arms.

„Me!“

„Stop!“ You try to wiggle out of his grip and much to your suspicion he lets you out of his arms carefully.

You look around if someone’s watching you and when sure there are not much students left you turn again to him and whisper-yell. „What are you doing here?! Don‘t say you want to kidnap me again...“ You fold your arms in front of you but slightly panick when he leans down too much in your comfort zone.

„I am studying here now and my lecture just ended.“ You scoff and push him back by his chest.

„What bullshit! Aren’t you too old to study?“

„Wait, how old do you think I am?“

„As a pervert you’re probably fourty or something...“

„H - how dare you! I am 26 years old!“ You give him a bored stare and mention for him to hold it.

„However. I am going and keep out of my way or - “

„Ah, this is will be hard. Because we have the same subject.“ A shiteating grin takes its place onto Joo Hyuk‘s face and you just couldn’t believe this guy.

You try to push your way around him when he stops you by your wrist again and takes you into an embrace from behind. His hold on your wrist leaves a undefinable pain and you hiss out when he finally leaves it. Trying to break free he only holds you closer and you can feel him leaning into your neck. You shudder when you feel him taking in your scent.

„Are you afraid my love? You don’t have to be... I would never hurt you.“ Much to your dismay your body betrays you and you feel your legs giving out at his words which pleases him.

You would lie when you told yourself that this wasn’t exciting but you didn’t understand your feeling at all.

Suddenly he lets you go and chuckles lightly. „Guess we will see eachother more from now on, (y/n)“ And with that you turn around but he’s nowhere to be seen anymore...

Stupid demons.

„Shit, the bus!“

Yun Ho texted you he would drive to the campus with his car because it was getting way too late and today it was his task to watch over you. At least he would bring you home safely and maybe drink a tea at your dorm.

The dorm was only a fifteen minute walk from your position but heh.

You smile when you see him pulling in at the parking spot. How he hops out of the expensive vehicle makes your heart jump but you try to cover it quickly knowing he would sense it.

As he nears your form a frown comes across his face and the next thing you know is him holding your shoulders in a very tight grip. You shudder at seeing your bestfriend like this the first time in your life and gulp when his orbs transform into a deep red color.

Yun Ho drags you to the car and drives to the demon‘s mansion faster than you liked. He pushes you inside the livingroom where Yeo Sang and Min Gi were currently playing Fortnite and some of the others around cheering.

„Hey, what’s our beautiful cupc - “

„Hold him back!“ No one noticed Seong Hwa coming from the kitchen with a gaze full of hate and disgust at your form. Before he could lunge at you Hong Joong and Jong Ho use all of their strength to hold him back. They drag him outside into the garden but the next demon also seems to lose his mind by letting out a deep growl like sound and Woo Young covers San‘s eyes and pushes him out of the room, too.

„What’s with them?“ You find yourself in Yeo Sang‘s arm in a second who seems to try to protect you from the other demons. Tears prick at your eyes and Yeo Sang tries to shush you by caressing your back in comforting circles.

You sit down on the couch after Hong Joong calls Min Gi to get out, too. Leaving only you, Yun Ho and Yeo Sang.

Yun Ho didn’t stop walking in circles since you arrived and you just wonder what was going on. You don’t even recognize Yeo Sang rubbing himself on you by smashing your cheeks together and kissing your hair repeatedly...

After a while you still sniffle when the others come back in and you take a look at the two demons that had the outburst. Whereas San seems only pissed Seong Hwa avoids your look at all costs which hurts you a little bit.

„Is this disgusting scent finally off of her?“ Seong Hwa speaks up while looking out of the window.

Now this was what it was all about... but it wasn’t you fault, right?

Without realizing you roll with your eyes earning another growl but this time from Yun Ho. „Do you think this is a joke?“

You scoff at him. „Of course not but you’re not telling me shit!“

„(y/n), we’re just concerned... Yun Ho brought you here because...“

„It’s okay, angel. You can tell them.“ Of course Yeo Sang already knew what happened because the moment started to flash into your mind occasionally since you’ve arrived here.

You told them about your encounter with Joo Hyuk leaving some of them clearly pissed. After a long pause you and Yeo Sang are again alone in the living room and the others come back after discussing and deciding for you to get out of the demon‘s way as good as possible for now.

Of course you agreed with them but if he was really attending the same courses like you things would get problematic. The tense atmosphere also doesn’t sit right with you. Everyone was giving off the vibe that you have been running into him on purpose.

When in reality they just don’t know about Joo Hyuk‘s intentions and that’s what worries Hong Joong the most. He definitely is the reason for your illness but the question is if he would be so dumb to try again to steal you away. His clan is definitely stronger and larger in number so why you? Why again anger the Ateez Clan?

One thing was sure - they had to keep a good eye on that bastard and need you to work with them although you don’t know about him being the reason for your illness and potential threat to claim you as his.

You on the other side were deeply confused and annoyed. Gladly Jong Ho drove you back to your dorm after your discussion but he also didn’t talk to you at all during the ride seemingly deep in thoughts.

Their reactions confused you... first you’ve never seen Yun Ho like this before. Of course this wasn’t the first time he got angry but definitely the first one his anger felt directed to you, too.

You knew San was an emotional person but you couldn’t shake off the feeling he didn’t had himself under control at all yesterday.

And Seong Hwa... the usually calm and soft demon is who hurt you the most. His gaze told you how disgusted he was by you... you felt like it wasn’t only about your scent but you in general at this moment. Like you’ve done something that betrayed him and his brothers.

The night wasn’t pleasant as sleep seemed to come to you hardly and the next evening at your shift you also couldn’t stop thinking about the events. You felt restless because images of the moment with Joo Hyuk coming back to you again and again. You mentally groaned everytime that happened because instead of fear and anger you felt slight excitement. You knew it was wrong to think and feel like that but you couldn’t stop yourself...

„(y/l/n)! The three gentlemen in the left corner are waiting!“

„Oh, sorry, boss!“

You arrive at the table and get on your knees with a bow arranging the menus.

„(y/n), what a pleasure to meet you again.“ You quickly look up and your mouth opens like you want to say something but nothing comes out.

So much for keeping out of his way... Was he following you now?

„You know eachother?“ One of the guys sitting next to the demon eyes you with a flirting gaze to which you give him a ‚fuck off‘ - gaze.

„Yes, this is the special girl I‘ve told you about.“

Eh?

„Special girl?“ It definitely comes out louder than you wanted it to and you check if your boss noticed but are relieved when it doesn’t seem like it.

„Of course. Your indeed very precious (y/l/n) (y/n).“

What shocks you even more is to not find the usual annoying smirk on his face when he says this. Special? Precious? What is he talking about?

You wanted to say something but being unsure of what you just handed them the menus, bowed again and quickly went back to the bar.

„She smells fascinating...“

„Yah, Ji Soo! Don’t even think about it.“

„Why? You’re also hanging out with that human chick. What was her name again?“

„That’s not what I mean. He already has his eyes on her so you don’t have the right to touch her.“

„Stop talking she’s coming back.“

Your brows furrow at their whispering but you brush it off nevertheless. First you cannot stop thinking about him and then he appears again.

What if he really just wanted to study at your university? The last time he could’ve easily kidnapped you again but he didn’t.

Maybe he was just a little bit attracted to you? You cannot shake off the feeling that the others might have overreacted...

Also, what if you had his scent on you? He just hugged you and you didn’t even stand a chance to get out of the grip of a demon. Moreover it wasn’t in your interest at all whereas Woo Young and San couldn’t keep their dicks inside their trousers - which still left a light stinging sensation in your heart.

Of course you knew how they were and that they liked to play around. The question is, why wouldn’t you just be one of the many other girls, too?

You still cannot believe that out of eight demons everyone would have the same amount of feelings for you. To be honest, the only person you thought of really liking you was Kang Yeo Sang. Thinking about Hong Joong - no one really knew what he did or thought in a day.

Maybe you slowly realize that you might fall for them too easily? Since they kidnapped you that day no one really tried to make the next step. Even Yeo Sang and Hong Joong wouldn’t go further than touching you in appropriate places. Well, at least the younger one did. And it all was still friendship like.

These thoughts are giving you a headache. Well, you were the one telling them you only wanted to be friends first then why are you so emotionally confused?

Do you crave for more? Or is it just attention?

Before the three men left the place Joo Hyuk gave you a huge tip which you didn’t stand a chance to reject. Luckily nothing more happened with him to which you were more than thankful. You couldn’t stand so much trouble in short terms.

Arriving at your dorm exhausted you jump on your bed after receiving a text from Hyo Lyn that she was coming over and getting ready for a party. Why would you say no? There were no messages from the guys and you definitely wouldn’t waste this night and free sunday tomorrow.

Yes, this was definitely the best you could do to forget all this mess for now. Only you, your bestfriend and a bottle of wine.

Oh, and loud music, sweating bodies and students making out in every corner. For this night you decided to wear something fancy but sexy, too. The mistake you made? You already drank quite the amount of appetizers with Hyo Lyn while dressing up and you could already feel the coral lipstick smeared from the amount of times you lick them.

You were wasted. Definitely; but in a good way. Hyo Lyn only giggled and dragged you to the dancefoor - the living room of the mansion - and started swaying your hips to the music. By now it was actually unimportant how you looked like you just had fun with the girl next to you and giggled a lot at her stupid dance moves imitating them from time to time.

When you made you way back to the kitchen looking for another drink you couldn’t shake off the feeling being watched. You shuddered at the thought and looked around a few times but couldn’t make out anything suspicious.

Only when you heard the yelling you immediately felt your insides curling. „Quick! Woo Young is winning!“

If Woo Young was here then San would be, too. Meaning there was a high chance some of the others or all of them attended this party, too. Where we’re back to the point - they’re not texting you and acting like wanting to protect you but here we are?

Suddenly Hyo Lyn brings you out of your thoughts by finding you in the kitchen and dragging you outside with a grip on your wrist.

„Come one, we have to watch this!“

Out of a good perspective standing outside a huge group of people in front you can see Woo Young drinking up all the beer and San next to him cheering him on like the others.

You roll with your eyes a smirk building up but it quickly vanishs when you see the cute dark haired beauty pulling him into a kiss and Woo Young first shocked but putting his arms around her waist in return when he wins.

First you really didn’t want to believe Hyo Lyn - but it was obvious that this scene probably replayed every weekend and party they attended.

What about the others? What about the Song Min Gi? What about the prestigious bachelor Kim Hong Jong? What about... what did all of them do?

You went back into the house ignoring the urge to turn into a crying mess feeling like it would be useless. You sat down in front of the mansion outside at the sidewalk alone with your thoughts again. Did you really didn’t know them at all?

No, you knew them. You knew about their hobbies... what they liked to eat and what their dreams were. It was just the fact that you didn’t feel like trusting them and not in the friend like relationship.

The image of them as boyfriends, potential lovers or what you would call it. You’re far away from that and you weren’t a person that tried to seek for the problem in others. It was about you. Maybe your first rejection lead to them losing interest in you. The whole marked thing slowly felt like they just still tried to fulfill something because they gave it to you and maybe they wanted to wait before asking you to take it back...

You definitely were a person to overthink things.

„What’s a little bird like you doing here alone?“

You slowly look up to see who has the nerve to interrupt you at your conspiracy moment.

„Oh, I am sorry... Didn’t want to sound awkward I guess you just looked really cute like t - this...“ You couldn’t stop gaping at the handsome boy. He had black hair with beautiful dark eyes that seemed to shine in the light of the moon and he was just plainly beautiful - exactly pretty like Hong Joong but different.

Hong Joong...

Tears started to prick again at your eyes making the boy worry if he is the cause for your sadness.

„Shit, I am sorry! I didn’t want to upset you!“ He leans down and starts to wipe away your tears with his soft thumbs and you feel oddly comforted by it - probably mainly caused by your drunken state.

„It - it’s not you...“

„Mh.“ He nods in an understanding matter and shoots you one of the most beautiful smiles you’ve ever seen. He sits down next to you still having his arm around your shoulders letting you calm down.

After a while you decide to check your phone to see if someone texted you but you can only see Hyo Lyn informing you about having met Seok Woo and his two very attractive friends and that they were playing beer pong.

„Do you want to get back inside?“

You shrug really unsure and definitely not in the mood to accidentally run into one of the boys. Okay, maybe just get over you high ego and text them!

You searched for San in your contacts and texted him that you also attended the party and if he wanted to hang out in the garden or something.

choi san: I am busyyyy

Wow, what a great answer. You groaned out gaining back the attention of the stranger next to you. „To be honest, I just want to go home and eat as much fast food as I can.“

You flinch a little bit when he suddenly starts laughing at you heartly. „To be honest, I didn’t want to come here in the first place.“ He takes a look back and his nose wrinkles is the most adorable way you could imagine.

„Then why did you come?“

„Three friends of mine wanted me to and I am the driver but now one of them found their girl he’s hanging out with at the moment an the other one‘s still searching for the girl he wanted to meet here.“ You laughed at this because it was cliche.

„What’s with the third one?“

„He just likes to party.“ You both laugh again mostly because you are still tipsy and him finding your laugh contagious.

„Do you want to head out of here? I know we don’t know eachother but I am hungry, too, so we could stop by a diner and after that I am bringing you home?“

„Mh, don’t know. I really don’t know you and my friend is still here... but I could tell Hyo Lyn quickly so she can send the cops after me if you try something funny.“ He grins at you mischievously but without any bad intention.

„Wait, did you say Hyo Lyn?“

„Ey, we looked for you!“ Suddenly you see four figures approaching you causing you and the boy next to you standing up.

Really? That there wasn’t already a massacre at this party fascinates you when you see Joo Hyuk emerging your forms with confident steps his eyes flickering between you and the boy. What shocks you even more is seeing your bestfriend holding hands with a guy next to her that seems to be on of Joo Hyuk‘s fiends and also the trio are the exact same men from your shift.

Leaving you confused who was the boy next to you but seeing his eyes turn into crescents while smiling at his fiends you suddenly feel at ease.

Only Mr. Pervert ruins the mood by winking at you.

„Come one that’s really funny!“ Hyo Lyn giggles at the situation and you cannot hide your smile, too.

„What are you doing here outside? (y/n) I’ve looked for you everywhere!“ Joo Hyuk happily explains and you stiffen a little bit by his statement. Their friend next to you seems to notice and lightly lays his hand on your shoulder to provide you with a feeling of safety.

Poor boy... don’t know he’s messing with a demon and wouldn’t stand a chance against the pervert.

„(y/n) and me wanted to drive to the diner and eat something. Do you want to come along?“

You could swear something flickered in the boys‘ eyes‘ at this moment but you couldn’t lay a finger on what. „No, no. It’s okay. (y/n) seems to be tired and we still want to start this pool party. Am I not right?“ Joo Hyuk laughs at the others and they also happily agree.

Your gaze goes back to him and he smiles and nods at them. „Have fun guys and call me if I should pick you up.“

He guides you to his car which was an expensive Audi R8 and immediately the thoughts comes to your mind if he drives too fast.

Like sensing your doubts the boy comes around the car again and opens the door for you. „You don’t have to worry... I will drive slowly I know you still have alcohol in your system.“

Is he cute or isn’t he?

The night turns around very good in the end. He holds his words and you don’t have to vomit or something. After eating something delicious at the diner with him you feel a lot better now and didn’t even felt the urge to look at your display since the party. Talking comes easily with him and he’s also a very charming guy with a good amount of humor.

After he stops in front of your dorms he gets out again and opens the door for you. He holds out his hand for you to take it and when you take it confidently you feel a slight shock.

„Ouch!“ He looks shocked but also apologizes quickly.

„Oh, haha. I am sorry... Maybe that was a sign?“ He smirks with crescent eyes again and you could cry out at how cute he is.

„Who knows?“ You look him deeply in the eyes and you can feel his smile vanish slowly. You gulp and quickly realize what you’re doing.

Stop flirting (y/n)! Cheater!

You mentally roll with your eyes - which you do... quit a lot?

I am the cheater? What’s with them? They give a shit about me at the moment! I can play this game, too!

Without noticing it you slowly nod with your head gaze turned to the ground and a devilish grin on your face.

„Ehm, I just asked if I could have your number...“

Oh, yeah. He was still there.

„Of course!“

(y/n) no!

You gave him your number and let yourself fall onto your bed a huge grin not leaving your face. You don’t have to feel bad, right? You texted San if he wanted to hang out but you could only imagine what he did in that moment. Woo Young was obviously also busy and you didn’t know who of the others attended the party.

You could’ve texted into the group chat you idiot.

Yes, you could’ve but you didn’t want to.

Suddenly you felt the guilt coming back... now that the boy left your mind it seems like you have to think about them. You take a look at your wrist and recall the electrical shock with the boy.

You don’t know his name... That’s what you only realize now. Well, if he decided to text you could ask him.

Eying you wrist again you try to see something that could resemble a mark; the one they gave you. Tonight you don’t really understand why they did it in the first place. You feel anger bubbling inside of you but decide it is worthless to worry about things you cannot change right now.

To get a decent sleep you think back to the crescent eyes and shining orbs that lulled you in. You find sleep better this night and all thanks to the stranger...

You wake up with a blurry sight. Your limbs are burning and a headache forms. You also feel very hot - shit, again?

Maybe you didn’t rest well enough the last time... you roommate asks you if she can help you with something before she head out for the day and you decline thankfully.

It would be the best to make some tea and sleep the day off maybe tomorrow it would be better and you could go back to university. Throughout the day you occasionally checked your messages and pouted when you received nothing. You don’t know if you hoped for him to text you or the others. Let’s say it didn’t shock you anymore that you received no text from the demons.

You also didn’t want to tell them about being sick again you hate the feeling of being a burden to someone... so you spent the day sleeping, groaning, drinking tea and watching shows.

Great sunday...

Luckily you had a good sleep this night but in the morning you didn’t feel any better... To this point you couldn’t shake off the feeling that the centrum of the stress might could be your wrist; exactly where your mark was located.

Maybe it is because of not being near to the demons lately? This doesn’t really makes sense either. There already have been more moments where you didn’t have much time for them and didn’t got sick... 

You clearly are not able to go to your courses today and ask Hyo Lyn to excuse you if someone in your shared courses asks.

Of course the girl wants to come over but you decline not wanting to spread your bacteria. You also ask your roommate to not worry but comply when she tells you she wants buy some medicine for you.

Ah, you were feeling really exhausted and bad again...

You wish someone of the boys would come over and take you into their arms and take care of you but you quickly shake the thought off.

Your wrist hurts again at the thought of them. What the actual hell?

Inside the mansion only Hong Joong and Seong Hwa pace around doing the housework. Well, Seong Hwa tells Hong Joong what to do because the leader is a mess when it comes to cleaning.

Hong Joong feels not good today and he didn’t do yesterday, too. It’s only a light tugging but he cannot say what it could be.

„Everything‘s alright?“

„Yes, just a bad feeling I guess. I wonder how (y/n) is doing. Did she eat? Is she happy? Is some professor getting on her nerves?“

Seong Hwa chuckles. Yes, their chosen mate definitely was someone who got triggered easily by hunger and soppy teachers.

„San told me she attended the party on saturday.“

„Why didn’t he tell us sooner?“

Seong Hwa shrugs while ordering Min Gi‘s laundry. „He just texted me she was there and he took a quick look at her and everything was fine. Hyo Lyn was by her side.“

„Mh, sometimes I feel like she’s taking a lot of her time.“

„Are you jelous, Kim?“ Seong Hwa‘s orbs shine in amusement and Hong Joong frowns at him in return.

„Nooo‘ I just would like to spend more time with her but I guess we should really take it slow...“

„Yes, that’s what we agreed on. Although I would like to apologize for the last time...“

Hong Joong emerged Seong Hwa‘s taller form and leans his head against his arms. „She knows we love her, don’t worry.“

Do you?

The end of the day comes and you decide to not be a pussy and text Yun Ho what he was doing only to be left on read. That didn’t hurt at all, asshole. Was he still salty because of the Joo Hyuk scene?

At least Yeo Sang should understand but he was one of those guys who disappeared for quite a time without telling you and you have the feeling now was the time for it again.

Or should you write something in the group chat? The sun was about to set down while you layed weakly in your bed scrolling through your phone. You found a quite funny video and decided it would be a good way to start a conversation and postet it into the chat.

Woo Young texted back a laugh smiley and the others also wrote something funny but Yun Ho, Yeo Sang and Hong Joong didn’t respond at all...

You couldn’t deny that you missed them even if it wasn’t meant in a romantic way. You missed your friends.

Much to your dismay you had to spend your time in bed the whole week... Luckily you were slowly feeling better and quickly worked out the stuff you missed in the courses. You decided not to write again in the chat and it was funny it became easier to not reply to them either or later because you just forgot.

There was a reason for it because your attention was set on something else or better someone else... He texted you.

First he apologized for not messaging you sooner and today he admit to you that he was a little bit shy and unsure about how to start a conversation with you. Cute...

You texted without a break and you laughed out loud when you asked him for his name and he told you could call anything you like so you decided for ‚charming‘.

You couldn’t come up with anything cooler.

You didn’t tell him about you being ill not wanting to ruin the mood and at the end of the week you asked him if he wanted to hang out.

And you did. It was good and felt at ease with him. He cooked for at his apartment and after that watched a movie together.

„Oh god, who thought it would be a good idea to use such bad synchronisation?“ He laughed out loud and chimed in.

Your head slowly became heavier und you didn’t even recognize that you started to lean on him.

„You have such a nice apartment... I wish I could afford something like this.“

„It’s nothing. I just recently rent it.“ He smiles down on you.

„Wow. What do you even do for a living.“ I doesn’t go unnoticed that he becomes a little bit stiff at your question but you ignore it.

„Let‘s just say I have to do with management.“ You nod at him.

„How old are you?“

„I am 23 years old.“

„Oh, I hope I am done with my education at this age, too.“

„Of course. You’re a smart one, (y/n). I will help you anytime you just have to ask.“ He tilts his head a little bit and places a small kiss on your temple.

You hiss out and shriek back when you wrist starts to burn.

„Woah, is everything alright?“

„Yes, yes...“

His orbs turn a lot darker as he watches the tip of your fingers graze over your wrist. He licks his lips at the sight but immediately arranges himself when you look back at him.

Suddenly your phone rings up and you take it to look who calls you. „Hong Joong?“

„Who’s it?“

„Just a - a friend. Excuse me for a second.“ He nods at you and you go to the kitchen.

„Hello?“

„(y/n)? Where are you?“

„I am out.. Why though?“

„You’re not at your dorm and your roommate wasn’t there, too. I wanted to pick you up for a late movie night...“

„Oh, I am sorry. It’s so late already?“

„Where are you so I can pick you up? We’re missing you, (y/n)... also me and Yeo Sang felt something a few seconds ago.“

„Yeo Sang is back?“

„Yes, but, are you alright? I said we felt something like a sting.“

„Oh, no. Everything’s alright I don’t think I am in for it, tonight. Sorry...“

„Mh, okay. You would tell me when there’s something, right?“

You pause at his question. Lately you weren’t honest at all and now you feel like shit because they suddenly decide to connect you again. You sigh. Right now you’re with the charming boy and it would be rude to just leave.

„Of course I would.“ Lie

„Ok, then take care. I hope I am not annoying you.“

„You’re not! No, you’re not. I am happy you called me...“ You really were.

„Bye, (y/n).“

„Are you ok?“

„Ah, yes. My friend just worried for me.“

„Must be a good friend then.“ He lightly smiled at you and reached out his hand for you to take.

Just like Hong Joong never called you all thoughts to them vanish again when you take his hand and let him guide you back into the living room.

You make yourself comfortable in his embrace and you continue the movie. You are very aware on how his breath tickles the hair on your neck and you feel yourself heat up at the close approximation.

You try to hide your nervousness by ignoring him and playing like you don’t recognize his slow movements with his palm on your thigh.

„(y/n).“

You gulp and feel like your heart stops. His index finger lands under your chin and in the softest way he tilts your head so you’re facing him.

„Can I - I really want to kiss you... but I need your consent...“

You weakly nod at him already too engulfed in the moment. He flashes you a dazzling smile and you could swear you saw something flashing in his dark orbs at your answer.

Before you can think about it anymore his lips are pressed on your own trembling ones in a delicate way. You shudder at how aroused you feel and the sensation his touches leave on your form are overwhelming.

The hold on your thigh becomes tighter and with the other one his fingers start to caress your neck. He uses your moaning to explore your mouth with his tongue and it feels like you entered heaven.

When he starts to kiss down your chin and neck you quite overhear something he mumbles with a breathless voice.

„Mine...“

Too engulfed in the pleasure you’re receiving you don’t notice him taking your wrist carefully and kissing along your arm until he lands on the place where your mark is supposed to be.

You open your eyes when feel a tingling sensation there and suddenly hear voices in your head becoming louder and louder the more he sucks on there.

„What is happening?!“

„We have to find her!“

„Yeo Sang! Shit, help him up!“

„Stop!“

You lean back and he looks at you confused and concerned but it’s quickly replaced with a shy smile.

„What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?“ You frantically look around searching for something you don’t even know. Those voices...

„I - I have to go... I am sorry.“

„I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but it’s okay, we achieved a lot for today.“

What is he talking about?

Only now you see your display blinking up repeatedly and the missed calls and texts from the demons.

You sense him watching you out of your eyesight and quickly put your cellphone back.

„I will bring you back home.“

You nod when he stands up leaving you clutching at your wrist with a bad feeling.

The car ride is silent and you decide to use his concentration on the road to text into the group chat that you’re heading back to the dorms.

When you open the door all the boys are already scattered around leaving your roommate sitting uncomfortable on her bed and a sign of relief crosses her features when you enter the room.

Immediately Min Gi grabs your hand and drags you out again followed by the others.

„What are you - ?!“

Min Gi puts you with him in the back seat petting you everywhere and kissing your hair with a frown on his face. Jong Ho starts the engine and drives home so fast you don’t even want to know the limit you’re reaching.

„(y/n)...“ He whimpers out and you turn your head to see his face that is illuminated by the lamps of the road.

A tear is rolling down his features and you swear you’ve never seen Min Gi crying before and he also didn’t touch you like this ever.

He hides his face in your neck and starts to cry. „Please don’t leave us...“

You felt awful. Never ever have you felt so ashamed and disgusted by yourself. You let another man touch you and especially the holy place of your mark and now you would have to face the consequences.

Your heart hurt at the sight of him clutching at you like his life depended on it. He held you in his big embrace like you would vanish any second.

„I would never leave you.“ Now a single tear also rolled down your cheek.

All of you sat silently. Until Yun Ho decided to speak up...

„What did you to with Joo Hyuk?“

Everyone tensed up at his name but you only frowned at his question.

„What do you mean?“

„You know what I mean. If you wouldn’t be my bestfriend I would consider thinking of you as a bitch, (y/l/n) (y/n)!“

Totally confused you stood up and let out your anger by landing a full smack on his cheek.

„I am not a bitch, Jeong Yun Ho! I won’t lie that I didn’t do anything but at least I am not fucking around every weekend like you guys!“

Now it was your time to let out everything that boiled up in you.

„You’re not giving me attention! You’re not answering my texts! You don’t care at all! You’re saying you have feelings for me but you’re not!“

„Don’t say this, dear - “ Jong Ho eyes you with a soft look and tries to reach out for you but you hold your hand up to stop him.

„No! You’ve been hurting me and guess what? I can play the game, too!“

Behind you Woo Young and San tense up.

„You know they mean nothing for us...“

„It doesn’t matter, Jung Woo Young. It hurts me so much... How can I ever trust you when all you do is - do is - nothing?“

Again everyone remains silent and also Yun Ho takes a step back to sit down next to Seong Hwa who rubs his eyes tiredly.

„We can get through this. I know we can... I feel like those are all misunderstandings...“

Yeo Sang always was a person that liked the harmony and it showed again.

You weren’t so sure of his words and bit your lips so harshly that you draw blood letting the tears out again.

„Please, (y/n), we love you. We love you so much. Please don’t give up on us...“

„San is right... we all have to better ourselves. We have to talk and be honest with eachother. Respect us more. Love isn’t easy but I can proudly say that I would do anything for you and us to work.“

You look into Seong Hwa‘s eyes and feel your bond coming to life at his words.

„Like we already said... a demon love is so rare and beautiful like you are (y/n); but - we would never force you to something you don’t want. We will always love you and we want you to be happy... even if it’s without us.“ Hong Joong says eyeing all his brothers who flinch at his words but not say something against it either.

„Angel, I beg you, please... don’t be afraid to show your feelings.“ Yeo Sang seems like to stare into your soul and you know that he knows what you want to do right now.

So you do it. You fall into his arms and sob into his chest. You let it all out and you can fell someone embracing your from behind, too.

You heart feels at ease and you couldn’t say that for a long time. Especially at Yeo Sang‘s and Hong Joong‘s touches you feel the bond coming to life igniting a wonderful sensation inside your systems.

This night you decide to sleep at theirs but of course not without all of you making a sleepover in one room. Fortunately you are the girl and were able to sleep on Yeo Sang‘s bed between him and the leader.

Totally forgetting about Charming and the events of the previous night.

Well, all of you were to exhausted to talk this out so it had to be done in the morning.

Oh, and the questioning turned out more interesting than everyone would’ve thought.

You decide to text him. It was a shitty move especially after last night but it had to be done. Much to your disbelief he only sent you back a smiley leaving you utterly confused.

After the breakfast you gathered around in the garden to finally tell you the truth and discuss on how to deal with Joo Hyuk.

San and Woo Young have been especially clingy to you also feeling very bad about having you hurt so much. Honestly, San craved a lot of your attention and body but he didn’t want to scare you so he decided to distract himself. He really didn’t know it would bother you so much and now he was devastated realizing the shit he done...

„I cannot breath, Woo Young...“

„Oh sorry.“ He smirks at your playfully and you peck him on his lips catching him off guard.

They were all so beautiful but not only in features but character, too... Why did you only realize it now?

Yeah, dumb bitch.

After telling you everything about Joo Hyuk that he wants to claim you and that being the reason for the pain at your mark and also you sickness you gulped.

„Now we have to find a way to deliver the message that he should leave you alone.“

„Or we just kill him.“

You sink further into San‘s side and he gives Jong Ho a silent glare knowing exactly how you would react to something like that.

„Guys, ehm, yesterday...“

Oh, it’s really time you’re telling them about it.

„Yesterday I wasn’t with Joo Hyuk. To be honest, I didn’t see him since a week or more...“

„What? (y/n), you had a scent on yourself from a demon yesterday. Whoever you spent time with was a demon!“

Panick takes its place over everyone’s features at your words and Hong Joong‘s eyes turn into an angry red color.

„I knew she smelled different! Now I know what that smell is...“

„Who is it? Hyung? (y/n)?“

„I - I don’t know his name...“

„You went home with a stranger, made out and don’t even know his name?!“ Seong Hwa‘s definitely in his mother role right now and you look to the ground ashamed.

„I don’t know... He felt so safe and my mind told me not to question it - “

„Typical for a demon like him. He manipulated you quite well.“ Hong Joong spits out with fire and starts to walk in circles.

„I guess you have his number?“

You nod at Yeo Sang.

„Text him to meet at the sightseeing platform at the mountain in the west.“

„What are you planning?“

„Seems like he was able to ignite a strong spark in her but not when she’s with us.“

„What are you talking about?“

Woo Young smiles in mischief at his brothers while petting your head. „Eight mates are stronger than one.“

„Don’t worry, cupcake. You will understand soon.“

You waited for Charming at the point and couldn’t believe yourself when you stupidly smiled at him. From the distance he already waved at you and if it wasn’t for the demons behind the trees you feel like you would’ve fall for him easily again.

„You look cute today. I am happy you texted me so quickly... to be honest I was a little bit afraid after yesterday that it was too early for you.“

You wonder how someone can lie so effortlessly and shudder when he wraps his fingers around your wrist where your mark is located.

He leans down when you’re not answering and gulp nervously when he tries to kiss you...

„The nerve...“

San comes out next to you joined by the others and you can see Charming starting to smile with his crescent eyes.

„I shouldn’t have let you go yesterday, little bird.“ He nearly whispered it out and you tremble when he places a soft skin on our forehead.

„Touch her again and we will kill you, Cha.“

He turns around and San and Woo Young are quick to take you into their arms and lead you further away from the scene. The demon follows your form and you are suddenly scared by his intimidating eyes.

„Ah, Hong Joong... I feel like I’ve lost myself in the whole thing a little bit too much.“

„You just didn’t succeed, Eun Woo.“

„Yes, this time you won. Your little human is not as dumb as I thought.“

Ouch that hurt although you just figured out what an ass he is. Woo Young‘s arms tighten around your form and the others tense up. Jong Ho cracks his knuckles to warn the demon to insult you any more.

„Why did you do that?“

„Clearly not for claiming her. I wanted to take the one love like you did with me...“

„Mi Na murdered humans and it was our task to bring her down. We would’ve not killed her if there would’ve been another way.“ Seong Hwa speaks up.

„She had problems! Okay?! You didn’t understand her! No one did!“

Tears are floating down when reality crushes in... Eun Woo wanted to kill you... and if it wasn’t for the boys you would not be alive right now. Joo Hyuk only was a marionette in this game and you only realized it now...

„We don’t want to hurt you, Eun Woo... Take your claim off her and leave us alone.“

„I said we don’t want to hurt you but we will.“

You sensed the distress of your mates and watched how everyone got into a fighting position leaving Woo Young and San next to you ready to get out of the scene if needed.

Eun Woo looks around him and starts to understand that he’s overpowered. He lets out a disgusting cry full of pain and anger.

„I will take it back...“

Hong Joong gives the demons next to you a sign and they near the other demon with slowl steps. He reaches out his hand and San takes your wrist carefully and guides it into his direction.

Eun Woo looks at you with tears in his eyes and sadly although you hate him right now you can feel his pain. He positions his lips over your wrist and breathes in leaving you lightheaded and suddenly blacking out... you feel free and suddenly the clouds in your mind and the headache you didn’t even noticed anymore are gone.

You open your eyes rubbing them with your palms feeling like you just awakened from a deep slumber.

„Good morning, sunshine.“

„Yun Ho...“

„Yes, the one and only.“ He shoots you a radiant smile and suddenly the door bursts open the other demons literally running inside.

„Cupcake! You’re awake!“

„How long did I sleep?“

„29 hours.“

„What happened?“

„Everyhing is okay right now. He’s gone... back to the demon world to be exact and he took his minions with him.“ Yun Ho tells you while caressing your hand.

You sit up and look into your lap. „Thank you, for everything and I am very sorry.“

„Stop, (y/n). We’re together now and you’re safe. That’s all what matters.“

You smile at them tears of joy running down your cheeks.

„Are you ok to go downstairs and eat something? Woo Young tried to cook - “

Said boy rolls with his eyes. „I didn’t try! I trained a lot!“ You giggle at his words and Yun Ho motions for you to sit up and take his hand so he can help you.

Halfway out of the room you stop...

„Guys...“ Everyone turns around watching you with curiosity.

„I think I might start falling in love with you.“ You quickly close your eyes out of embarrassment and San comes to take your palms that shield your face away with his own hands.

„It isn’t that hard, right?“

You become red like a potato and stomp with your food. „But it is!“ Everyone laughs at your cuteness but it would definitely be a hard way to express your feeling like this more...

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author: Well, what a nice ending to this part!

wooyoung: Where’s my smut.

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↺ back to navi

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[allthingshetalia]

Can you write sergeant Prussia confessing his love to a cadet and she likes him also but is afraid and says no. Then Prussia gets mad and makes her do extra hard, not letting her finish eating and already making her run or sth. He overall makes her psychically and mentally exhausted and she collapses due to not eating enough not sleeping and working too hard. Prussia finds out she collapsed and rushes to see her and apologizes after the doctor tells him what is wrong with her. I 💗 your writing!

💕I love this idea! Thank you💕

“She passed out from exhaustion. She also appears to be extremely dehydrated. She has also lost quite a bit of weight since her last check up and that was only 2 1/2 weeks ago. We recommend she takes a week to rest and slowly works back into training. Right now she needs lots of sleep, water and some hearty meals.” The doctors explained. Sergeant Beilschmidt nodded his head, as he stood outside the curtain of your ‘room,’ in the hospital ward.

He sent you out for a 5 mile run. He claimed it was because you sucked at pushups earlier that day, but both of you knew the real reason. When you didn’t come back within 20 minutes he began to worry. So he called someone to go and check on you to make sure you didn’t skip out, well that’s what he told them. He Secretly wondered if you got lost or hurt. Apparently they found you lying face first in the mud.

He immediately went to check on you, and found a doctor that explained what had happened. He felt nauseous as the doctor told him what had actually happened. It was his fault. He knew he was working you hard but he didn’t realize how hard. He loves you very, very, very much, but when you rejected him it stored something inside him, a dark part of him he always hated. It was always hard for him to be vulnerable, and when he confessed his feelings to you it was a very vulnerable moment, and you shot him down.

“Can I go in and check on her?” He asked. His hand already gripped the curtain before the doctors replied.

“Of course.” The doctors smiled.

He cringed as he saw you were still covered in mud. It was plastered to the side of your face and your hair. You were very pale, your eyes were traced with deep bags and your lips were chapped.

“Can I get a bowl of water and a few towels?” He asked poking his head out of the curtain. A nearby nurse quickly nodded her head and went off to get the supplies. She soon came back and set it on the small tray near your bed. “Thank you.” Gilbert grumbled. He dipped the towel in the water and softly began to scrub at the mud stuck to your face. Once he did that he soaked another towel and tried his best to scrap as much mud as he could out of your hair. He also took it out of the bun you had, knowing it probably wasn’t comfy to sleep on. Once he sat on the chair right next to your bed.

It had been two days. You had yet to wake up. He spent as much time as he could with you. When he wasn’t training he was with you. He even ate his meals right next to you. He scrubbed your face everyday, making sure to get the eye boogers out. He got some chapstick for you and he even fell asleep in his chair. He held your hand as he slept, and that was how you woke up.

“Mmm.” You groaned. Your eyelids opened slowly. Wherever you were was fairly dark, and you were thankful for that. Your body felt heavy, like a rock was laying on you. Your eyes had no trouble adjusting to the darkness. You could hear footsteps going past you. A light squeeze of your hand caused you to look to your right. You immediately recognized a mop of silver hair and you quickly pulled your hand away. This caused him to wake up.

“You’re awake?” He groaned. He sat up and stretched. He shuffled around a little and a dim light flickered on from the lamp next to your bed. You quickly covered your eyes. “Sorry.” He mumbled. You pulled the covers up over you face, so you were hiding from him. He sighed deeply from next to you. “Y/N.” Please don’t do that.” He sighed. He pulled away the covers from you and you didn’t have much strength to fight him. “Are you thirsty? Hungry?” He asked. You shot him a glare.

“Like you care.” You rasped. You swallowed thickly trying to soothe the pain you felt after speaking. He closed his eyes tightly. He got up and left and you felt a little at piece. But it was short lived when he came back with two cups. One was filled with apple juice and another one was a cup of ice. He poked a straw in the apple juice and held it up to your mouth. You grabbed the whole cup from him and drank greedily. He quickly took the cup back from you.

“Not so fast.” He scolded.

“You’re not the boss of me.” You grumbled. Even though you were angry you leaned forward and took the straw in your mouth and continued to drink.

“Well the uniform says different.” He chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood.

“Not anymore. I’m quitting. I have a medical reason. I’ll just say I physically can’t do it. Don’t worry i won’t blame you.” You growled. His heart ached painfully in his chest. “Congrats you won.” You sighed, resting back down against the pillow. He put the empty apple juice down on the table.

“How did I win?” He asked softly. You turned your head to look at him. He was staring intensely into your eyes. His ruby eyes encompassed the same emotions as when you rejected him.

“This is obviously what you wanted. To break me and make me suffer. You wanted me gone.” You spat. “You could lie and say it’s heartbreak but we both know it’s your ego. Can’t handle being rejected.” You continued. You stared up at the ceiling for a long moment before he spokez

“Is that how lowly you think of me?” He shuddered. You looked at him expecting to see anger but the only thing you saw was tear filled eyes. Your eyes widened as he stared at you in despair. “I know I can be difficult and hard on people- especially you, but I am not some cold hearted monster that you believe I am. I made a mistake. You’re right I couldn’t handle being rejected. But not because of my ego. Because I love you. I know it’s hard to believe after I ended up placing you in the hospital. I guess a part of me just wanted you to suffer like how I was suffering.” He sighed and leaned forward resting his elbows on the bed, his eyes never leaving yours. “You don’t have to believe my words. But you do need to know that I am terribly sorry for what I did. I never wanted to hurt you. You have made me see, feel and think things I never have before. And I’m sorry that this is how I repay you.” He got up from his seat and grabbed his coat off of the foot of your bed throwing it on. He slowly walked over to you and placed a gentle kiss against your head. You felt a little drop of wetness one your forhead but he quickly brushed it away. He swiftly turned off the light and pulled back the curtain leaving you.

Tears fell from your own eyes at his confession. Sure you always had a crush on him. But you never knew he truly felt that way about you. You kinda thought he just wanted to get in your pants, so he was just spewing nonsense. You rolled over in your bed and hugged the pillow tightly against your frame. After who knows how long of being asleep you where no longer tired. So you just laid there, crying and eating ice chips.

✨Time skip✨

You grinned at your friends who welcomed you back. After spending the last week in the hospital you had a lot of time to think, about you, your work, Gilbert, everything. The nurse told you how he barely left your side for two days. That made you realize maybe he did really mean what he said. And you decided that if he broke your heart, it would be no ones fault but your own.

You quickly made your way inside the large air conditioned building. Walking through many long hallways and going up an elevator to the very top floor you stopped infront of a large familiar door. ‘Sergeant Beilschmidt’ was written in large bold letters on the plaque attached to the door. You knocked loudly.

“Come in”. He shouted. You opened the door and peaked your head in. He was looking down at his desk staring at some papers. You closed the door behind you and cleared your throat.

He looked up and your heart dropped when you got a look at his face. His eyes were dull, compared to the fire they always held. He had dark circle sunder his eyes and his nose was red and irritated. His uniform was still perfect. His eyes lightened up a little seeing you, but that quickly diminished as he grabbed a stack of papers off the corner of his desk.

“Here are your resignation papers.” He muttered. “I filled everything out, all I need are your signatures.” You sat down in one of the large seats infront of his desk.

“I don’t want to leave.” You stated. He smiled at you softly. “I do what to be transferred to a different Sergeant/group whatever it’s called.” His smile instantly faltered.

“Of course”. He gave you a small smile, despite the sad look in his eyes.

“Well it wouldn’t be fair to everyone if I got special treatment because we were together.” You smiled. His head shot up from his paperwork.

“Is that another trick?” He mumbled suspiciously. You bit your lips and shook your head.

“If you still want to, I want to.” You smiled softly. He nodded his head quickly, the familiar spark in his eyes coming back.

“I would love that! And I promise no more hospitals- unless you’re having my baby of course.” He chuckled. You rolled your eyes.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. I’m still mad at you, ya know.” You scolded.

“I don’t blame you.” He leaned over his desk his face serious. “What can I do go make it up to you?” He asked softly. You leaned forward too so your forhead were pressed together.

“How about dinner and a ice cream?” You chuckled.

“You have yourself a deal.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips.

[inky-imagines]

Can I ask for a scenario where after a strong argument between gardienne and Ezarel while they're on the mission she simply walks away alone aaaand gets in trouble so he has to save her? Like, she gets chased by some dangerous animal or sth. Thank you in advance!

I should really stop making these so long - it’s making it very hard to maintain a constant schedule.

Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy this scenario =)

Inhindsight, charging headfirst intouncharted territory because you were pissed at the resident science nerd (Alchemynerd?) might not have been the smartest decision.

Neitherwas exploring that cave without the appropriate gear – namely, your weapons. Inyour defence, it was supposed to be arelatively safe area, how were you supposed to know there’d be a Kerit livingthere? Weren’t those things indigenous to the Savannah or something?

Butyou know what they say, hindsight’s 20/20. Not that you could see very well,sweat blurring your vision as you rushed through the vegetation.

Behind you the roars and snarls of thebear-like monstrosity grew ever louder, spurring you on. You knew you couldn’tcontinue like this. Despite your initial headstart on the beast – being whackedacross the cave really helped, though you hadn’t thought so at the time – itwas gaining quickly, you could already feel your side burning something fierceand doubted you could maintain this pace much longer.

A plan was needed. But between the runningfor your life and constant flow of ‘OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD’ in your mind,there wasn’t really any time to think. Which is why when the person you leastwanted to see barreled into you, you almost sobbed with relief.

“Where the hell have you been?!” You hopedhe didn’t expect an immediate answer. The collision had rocked you off yourfeet, the pain in your side throbbing even more intensely and clouding your mind withpain.

By the time you’re regained enough of yourwits to remember why standing still was a bad idea, it was already much toolate and a certain terror crashed in behind you.

Immediately trying to resume your previouslife-preserving action, you dash by Ezarel; only to be dragged back into a hardchest. “What—“

Ezarel clamped a hand over your mouth.“Stay still.” He hissed. “Kerits havenotoriously poor eyesight. They can only perceiveyou if you move.”

Doubt niggled in the back of your mind, buthe made no indication of letting you go so you had no choice but to shiver asthe Kerit shuffled forward.

It got close, so very close, you swore youcould see the reflection in its dinner-plate-sizedeyes. Was this it? Were you going to die in some random forest, killed by wildlife you’d accidentally awakened? Withone last sniff, it roared, a gust of foul-smelling air blasting over your faceand bringing tears to your eyes. This was it…

Or not, as the gargantuan swung around, growling and snuffling, plodding back intothe underbrush, plants and trees destroyedin its wake.

You barely had the time to sigh in reliefwhen a certain asshole shoved you hard. “What were you thinking, charging offlike that?” You spun around, a half-formed retort on your tongue but, as usual,he cut across you. “Of all the stupid things you’ve done-“

“I don’t need your nagging, Ez.” Youhissed, “I’m tired, in pain and, surprisingly,the cure is not your shit.”

He snorted. “Andwhose fault is that?”

Normally you’d rise to the bait and tellhim exactly where he could stick it, but exhaustion had finally caught up with you, and you could barely musterthe strength to stand, let alone fight. “Whatever. Where’s camp?”

“Somewhere in that direction.” Ezarelgestured somewhere behind him. “The specifics are unknown since someone–“ Pointed look. “ –ran off withthe map.”

With a roll of the eyes, you unclipped the mapfrom your belt and handed to him with a tight smile. Or at least, you tried to.

You kept fumbling at the clip, your fingersdisobeying you at every turn. It didn’t help that your head felt full – like it had been stuffed with cotton.The after effects of adrenaline maybe?

“Y/N?” Ez’s voice sounded hazy like he was a long distance away. “Y\N!”You staggered a few paces forwards before toppling, the ground rising toswallow you whole.

                                                            -

The sensation of heat and soft skin againstyour own awoken you from your slumber. Though honestly, you weren’t sure whenyou’d fallen asleep. You could remember falling, closing your eyes beforehitting the ground, but when you’d open you were here.

‘Here’ being the camp, if the constant low chatter and canvas ceiling wereany indicators.

“You’re awake?” The soft, murmured voicewas almost unrecognizable without the harsh edge to it, and you almost couldn’tbelieve it belonged to him.

“Ez?” Your voice came out hoarse, equallyas unrecognizable as the elf’s.” “Ez,” You tried again. “What happened?”

You attempted to sit up, only to be pushed back down immediately. “Don’t, you’llopen your stitches.”

“Stitches…?” Though it was rather awkwardin your position, you managed to twist your head to where Ez’s hands rested onyour side.

An angry, puckered line of flesh stuck outfrom your side, a neat set of stitches holding together what you could onlyassume was a nasty gash.

As if seeing it made real, pain rippledover your side, curling you within yourself with a whimper.

“What did I just say?” He growled, forcing you flat on your back. “For oracle’ssake, can’t you listen to me for once?” You could only whimper as he reexamined the injury, muttering curses underhis breath. “And would you stop squirming? It’s making this more difficult thanit needs to be.”

“It hurts.”You emphasised, sucking in a breath as his fingers dance smear astrange-smelling poultice over your side.

“And whose fault is that? If you’d justdone as I said, followed my damn orders…”

You snorted. “What orders? Last I checked Iwas ‘too stupid’ to be of any help. Remember?” His look of mild embarrassment told you that he did. It’squickly replaced by a look of raw irritation and anger when you add. ”So,technically, this your fault.”

“My fault?” You nod. “Hah.” He leaned forwards,having completely forgotten about his task. “If an idiot charges into thewilderness on their own and gets themselves hurt because they can’t deal with theyown ineptitude; how is that my fault?”

“Perhaps,” You push yourself up, to glarehim in the eyes. “The part where you MADE ME feel like an unwanted bag ofhammers? You told me yourself that I shouldn’t have bothered coming. That I’dbe more useful tending the camp.” Yourvoice got louder, angrier, with each word; the murmured voices outside the tentsilenced as you crescendoed.

Alarmed, Ezarel claps a hand over yourmouth, ignoring your struggles until the outside conversations begin again.

He looks at you for a moment, “I’ll admit it, I wasn’t the most welcoming,sure. But that doesn’t mean I shoulder the full responsibilityfor this.”

“You don’t.” You admitted, slumping backdown. “But don’t you dare pretend you’re completely innocent in this.”

“I’m not.” An admittance of his own. Howsurprising. You’d honestly thought he’d try washing his hands clean of the blame.Another surprise came when the harsh lines of his face softened unexpectedly. “Ididn’t mean any of it though.”

“And I’m the queen of Spain.” You hissed ashe began wrapping up your side again.

“I might’ve been…  a tad harsh, but that’s because I know thisregion. Despite what everyone says, this place is actually pretty dangerous. Asyou’ve no doubt figured out.”

“So, what? You figured instead of warning likea normal person, you’d just insult me until I left instead?”

At least he had the grace to lookembarrassed. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Yeah, well. Look what your ‘good idea’ gotme.” You winced as he finally taped down the much too tight bandages,signalling the end of your treatment.

“Excuse me? Don’t forget who thought it’dbe a good idea to go spelunking in unknown caves.” He grinned at your silence. “You’dbetter get some rest now.” Collecting the medical supplies, he began to leave. “We’removing out tomorrow. Apparently, nobody wants to research when there’s a Kerit in the area.”

“You know we need to talk about thisproperly, right?” Normally, you wouldn’t care if you did or didn’t. You fought with Ez all the time, this should’ve beennothing new. But for some reason, this felt… icky. Like it’d forever stain yourrelationship with him if it wasn’t addressed.

“We do.” He agreed. “But not now. You needto rest, and I need to help pack up.”

You nodded, sinking into the bed – much to the reliefof your aching muscles – and letting the sounds of the camp lull you to sleep.

[imaginethewitcher]

A female s/o baking sth for Iris?

Thank you for requesting her. I really needed this.Writing about my wife is so calming

The warm sunshine tickled your skinand woke you up. It was early in the morning, you heard a few birds singingwith melodic voices. Iris was still asleep and snored quietly.‘No wonder. She was the whole nightup working on a painting’, you recalled.While you admired her love and dedicationof painting, you were also worried when she spends yet another night withoutmuch sleep.You chuckled. It was cute seeing herlike this, so quiet and peaceful, always made you happy. Brushing a strand ofhair out of her face, you put a light kiss on her forehead, careful not to wakeher up. You could lie there and look at her for hours, look at her shining blackhair and soft lips. As much as you preferred to stay, the responsibilities ofthe day wouldn’t solve themselves. So you got up, doing your daily morningroutine. She wakes up when you’re finished, but not this time.‘She must have been working for really long’, you thought while buttoning upyour blouse.It was a portrait with the two ofyou for her family. She put so much love into it, but was also afraid it wasn’tgood enough. You remembered here going up and down the floor, being restless,while you repeated how skilled she was and what an amazing painter her parents hadthe honour to call their daughter. You would love to see it, but she said itwas a surprise for all the next time her family comes over to visit. So therewas only waiting in anticipation of the great reveal.You felt the urge to do something,something as a reward sort of. Now it was your turn to do something for her.But what would be right? What would she like? Flowers? No, she tends the gardenherself and has already every local plant in there. A new dress maybe or alavish hair needle? You kept thinking about it as you went to the kitchen,making a coffee. The hot fluid warmed your hands, the aromatic scent remindedyou when Iris made you a coffee. It was absolutely horrible. You thought tonever get the bitter taste away from your mouth. Still you drank the whole cup,but made the coffee yourself from then on. Perhaps you could prepare somethingfor breakfast? Iris used to make little lemon cakes for breakfast. They werethe best way to start the day, putting a smile on your face when you smelledthem in the morning. Yes, you make those for her!You quickly found the recipe in herfavourite cookbook for he put a bookmark in it. There were even some notes onyour preferences. You never noticed she considered so many little details. Youread her notes again and again, grinning wide. Iris truly was the best wife youcould have imagined to be with.You skimmed through theinstructions. It seemed easy to make and the ingredient were things everyonehas at home. So you grabbed an apron and assembled everything you needed.Following the instructions, whiskingthe liquid ingredients together and adding gradually the solid ones, it waspretty simple. You were never much of a baker let alone much of a cook, but itwas much more fun than you expected. Iris was usually the one cooking andbaking. You considered preparing some meals yourself from time to time, hummingto the rhythm of the whisk mixing the ingredients.The batter was ready to be filled inthe little moulds and to be put in the oven. With a swift push you put them inthe oven. While the lemon cakes baked in the oven, you collected some of Iris’favourite flowers and assembled them on the table with her favourite dishes. Soonthe cake was done and you arranged them on a colourful plate. With handsstemmed in your hips you looked proud at the result. The table was beautifullydecorated, the room was filled with sweet smell of fresh cake and the birds sangtheir best melodies together.The creaking from the stairsannounced Iris. Just at the right moment!She wore a simple dressing gown,hair in a quick bun and rubbing her tired eyes.“It smells so good it in here. Didyou make something?”, she asked and yawned.“See for yourself, my love”, yousaid with a wide grin.One last rub and she opened hereyes, clapping her hands together and gasped.“This…this looks wonderful! Thankyou so much! Are these the lemon cakes I made for you”. She looked back and forthfrom the table with an elaborate breakfast and to you.“Correct! Do you like it?”“Do I like it? I love it!”. Shehugged you and put a soft kiss on your lips. “And I love you, my dearest wife”.You turned red. Whenever she toldyou she loved you, it felt like reliving the first moment she told you.“I love you too, my lovely wife”,you whispered in her ear, gently stroking her shiny hair.

[burntflorets]

things i want to say to you if we were still talking: day 3

6 april 2017 2:57am i got nightmares again. this time i was helping a close friend of mine ( i can’t seem to be able to remember her face once i woke up). she was transitioning to become something else a different religion or sth. i helped her through her tough times. we were in my room just that it had a different setting. and she had another girl friend with her. it’s hazy i can’t remember everything but she tried to kill me. she had a gun. she was in a trance and she randomly shot the gun all around. i said i was scared and hid in a corner. her friend looked at me weirdly. i said i wanted to leave, my friend turned the gun on me. i ran for my life, down the stairs. she shot me in the head but i still could run. everything happened in slow mo. i ran in slow mo. she didn’t. i was crying calling out your name. i made it out of the front door crying for help and bumped into my colleagues. there was no one around except them. they stalled me for a few seconds before the girl caught up with me. they didn’t believe my story. they said i was crazy i tried to escape and i couldn’t. and i wanted to wake up from my dream so desperately and i couldn’t too. the dream was never ending, like it was trapping me inside it. i knew i was asleep and i was dreaming. i couldn’t do anything about it. idk how i finally woke up. i think i tricked myself into thinking that it was alr 6am. i heard myself calling your name out in my sleep. i guess even when i’m not conscious and awake i still need you as much.

3:33am hey i can’t go back to sleep. i was scrolling facebook and i came across this which i wanted to tag u in. but i can’t bc we aren’t supposed to be talking. i’ll just put it here, maybe you might come across this someday. “How to keep a relationship: Communicate: Talk about things, the good and bad. Build trusts. Be honest. Be faithful. Be there for one another. Make time for one another. Leave the past to the past, which include ex’s. Know that having arguments are normal. Know that you won’t always be happy. Don’t expect change. Appreciate the flaws. Appreciate each other. Become best friends. Lastly, love each other unconditionally. ” i know i said i didn’t want to hope but i really wish we would work out in the end.

7:27am i barely slept. i feel like shit too. i want to skip work today. my whole body feels like it’s giving up.

what day is it? oh thursday. nice. almost one week is over.

3 more weeks to go.

10:23am my whole body hurts. i think i over exerted myself yesterday while carrying the stones. it’s good feeling the pain tho, since i promised i wouldn’t hurt myself intentionally. at least this pain helps me a little bit. idk.

i saw this crystal marbled bar soap and immediately wanted to tag u and i was about to press send when i realized we don’t talk anymore. the marbled soap was so u, and it was whitish, your favorite colour. i wanted to get one for you but it costs 10usd for like a 5cm piece. plus the shipping. i think it’s not worth it. i looked up some diy crystal soap articles and maybe i’ll make some considering i don’t go out anymore and i have some time. maybe i’ll make them some day. if i can get myself out of bed and do something productive with my life.

11:33am ‪i would rather be fighting with you than going through this alone‬

12:30pm it’s lunch now and i bought majestic bay’s staff menu. i was so hyped up for it bc they said it was the okra one. bc i remembered the colleagues talking about it saying that the minced meat and brinjaw one was good. when the food came, i got so disappointed bc it’s was fucking LADIESFINGER AND FISH. FAK i always thought okra was brinjaw omfg and i was cheated??? holy shit i was so mad bc not only i don’t like ladies finger, the portion was so little that there’s only 3 small pieces of fish and 2 slices of ladies finger. omfg i got so mad that shit cost $5. omg ended up we had to buy macs the staff menu and a large fries. ugh

it’s weird tho i feel nauseous and my stomach hurts but i ate breakfast today. i had wraps and sandwhich. i didn’t eat the sandwhich tho. now eating lunch i feel like i need to puke even more than ever. ugh what’s wrong with me. i’ve been eating i swear. i’ve been eating 3 meals i didn’t skip any meals but idk why.

7:42pm daddy and mummy went out for dinner, they told me they had some food for me on the table and i just had to warm it up. i didn’t want to eat bc i didn’t have any appetite recently. but i couldn’t just throw it away and lie that i ate. so i just warmed up the food. i left the soup on the stove on low fire and went to bathe. halfway i heard and explosion and i got fucking scared. like omg wtf what if my whole kitchen is in flames or sth??? wtf wtf so i went out stark naked and soap still in my hair. and the fucking back door was open bc i went for a smoke earlier. fuck my life. and i was scared someone came home too and i was naked?? and what if the kitchen was on fire too?? fuck. luckily the fire just went out but the sound tho. scared the shit out of me. thank God nothing happened. holy shit. i thought the worst was over, and i could just go back to bathe. I couldn’t fucking turn off the fucking gas HOLY SHIT. the knob was jammed fuckkkkk how more suey could i get. and i was soapy and the soap was in my eyes and what not and i was trying my best to turn off the stove before anyone came home seeing me naked????? fuck. i finally managed to in the end. i swear my heart was beating so fast i thought it was going to pop out. omg. ok story telling time over. i’m so tired to even eat. i just want to smoke my life away till i pass out from the fumes.

9:28pm i happened to chance upon this thoughtcatalogue article and i really agree with it a lot.

I Love You, But You’re Not Good For Me (And I Can Finally See That) Becca Martin

It’s been months since I’ve seen you last and I was convinced you were what was missing from my life. I convinced myself that I couldn’t live without you, that I’d never be happy again until I was reunited with you, but going back made me realize something I’ve known for a while but have never been able to admit to myself. I finally realized just how toxic and suffocating you are in my life. I get so wrapped up in love and the idea of love that often times I forget just how good or bad something can be for me. I think that it’s right, and that just because it makes me feel good that means it’s all okay. But it’s not. It’s not okay that I left feeling full of regrets, feeling less than when I arrived to you, feeling empty because as much as I want to be with you constantly, going back to you made me realize how damaging our relationship is. It made me realize that what we had worked for so long, but even through all those years I failed to notice you’ve always made me feel this way. You were always bad for me but I just became completely intoxicated by you. You made me forget my morals, my values, how to be strong on my own because being around you makes me weak. It makes me do things I’m not necessarily proud of because being around you makes me feel alive. It makes me hate myself – and love shouldn’t make you feel that way. But I never noticed it at the time, I blocked it out and always blamed it on anything other than you. I enjoyed every wild moment, every drunk mistake, every time I let myself go completely because all I was concerned about in those moments was being there with you. I never wanted to be apart, I never wanted to live without you because I never thought I could enjoy life without you. I wanted to stay there; stay in those moments of comfort with you because it made me feel safe. In all those blissful moments I forgot how damaging you were to me because in those moments I never wanted anything more than I wanted to be there, with you. I thought going back to you would help, I thought it would remind me just how much I love you and it would make me want to stay. But I was wrong. I loved you when I got there – and I still do – but now I’m not so sure that it’s healthy because when I drove away and left you this time I didn’t feel the same heartbreak I felt the first time. I didn’t feel the same sadness and regret of walking away. This time I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go back to you again. Instead, this time I felt empty, I felt hopeless and like I’ve completely lost myself because that’s what you do to me. You completely intoxicate me and you turn me into someone I’m not, someone I don’t know anymore. And it breaks my heart to come to this realization because I love you more than you’ll ever know, but you’re not good for me. I learned that I can love you with my whole heart in a way that I’ve never loved anyone or anything else but that doesn’t mean we are good for each other; it doesn’t mean we’ll end up together because sometimes you don’t end up with the love of your life, and that’s okay. I love to love things that are bad for me because they make me feel alive, but at a certain point I need to walk away from what I really want in the moment and start walking towards something that’s good for me in the long run. I don’t know how I’ll do it without you, but all I know is I need to try because I can’t keep going back to you. I’m no longer good for you and you’re definitely not good for me.

it’s scary bc that’s how i feel sometimes. especially when we fight. i’m pretty numb rn, i don’t feel as much as i did on that day and the next. i know you’re bad for me, bc you don’t ever change or try and understand when a misunderstanding happens. you said u would but when it comes down to doing it, you don’t. but i still love you. a lot in fact. like how the girl felt like in the article.

these days, we have been fighting so much i’ve stopped wishing and hoping for things to go my way, i just let nature take its course. and i don’t think i’ll have a definite answer for you if u were to ask me at the end of all these. i’ve cleared my mind and have been thinking things through. i don’t feel depressed or happy or wtv. i just feel normal. like it’s any other day. i’m just going to leave it in God’s hands. it’s not that i’ve given up. i don’t want to fight against what has been planned for us. it’s tiring knowing that you’re fighting a losing battle. i’ll just let nature take its course, and go with the flow.

the thing about me is that no matter how wrong i know something is or how bad something is for me, i still try and fight for what i want. and i might end up fighting a losing battle when it comes to you. bc no matter how toxic our r/s is, i am that stubborn and i won’t give up even though i know it’s not going to work. i only give up when i’m broken. and i guess i’m not that broken enough to give up yet.

10:30pm the mood swings are back. i feel shitty. i miss u. there's a dull ache inside my chest. i wanna talk to you. i wanna know what you're doing. i want you to be here. i want to see your face. i want to feel u. i miss u.