#if she is allergic to fish i will laugh myself sick

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

i wonder if phil is a social eater bc thats the way she’s wired or bc she’s anxious about mack lurking outside

[laffy-taffy-creations]

Day 1 of whumptober!

This fic was cross-posted on Ao3 here

Just One Day

Safety Net | Swooning | "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Words: 1,040

Warnings: sickness, overexertion, self-hatred, human experiments, broken promises, adultification of a minor, child abuse

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, uhhh…3?” someone asked.

I turned. “Oh, hey 7. What’s up?”

“9 sent me to see you. Whatcha doing?”

“Fixing the home remedy for tonight’s batch of allergic reactions. Our stupid ‘caretakers’ decided that fish sticks would be a brilliant choice of dinner despite at least 170 of the nearly 300 of us being allergic to fish or the oil the use to fry shit.”

“Really?”

I scoffed, “I know right? You’d think they’d realize what a bad idea that is.”

“No,” she said, “I mean you know how to combat allergic reactions?”

I looked at her confused. “Yeah, I’ve been the one making the remedies for everyone since being chosen as an experiment… did you really not know this?”

“I mean, I knew someone was making them, but I figured it would be one of the adults, not… you… do you even have allergies?”

“No, but that doesn’t really matter?”

She was stunned. “3. You’re 11. Are you trying to tell me that ontop of caring for literally every person in this facility, teaching everyone Japanese, making sure we’re all safe and that fights dont break out, keeping us educated as possible, ensuring we all make it to sleep at night and tending to the other kids teens and sometimes adults that have issues sleeping, you’ve also been the person keeping track of allergies and making the drinks infused with whatever it is that keep allergies from being life threatening?”

“Uhhhh, yeah? Why is that so confusing to you?”

“3! You’re 11 for crying out loud! Are you trying to tell me you’ve been single-handedly taking care of everyone in every aspect imaginable SINCE YOU WERE NINE?!?!?!”

“7. Calm down.”

“I will NOT! You’re a fucking fifth grader taking care of nearly 300 people on your own!”

“And I’ve been doing that job just fine for 2 years.”

“3-”

“Sayovai.”

“No, I dont wanna hear it, what the actual fuck 3?-”

“Sayovai.”

“You cant be serious, I mean-”

“SAYOVAI! YEHLISA UMOYA!”

She finally paused.

“I am fine. You are fine. I am doing what I have to so we can all survive here, I’m our safety net. Ngicela ungithembe nje, kulungile?”

She took a deep breath and nodded. “Fine. So long as you promise awuzicindezeli… you can promise me that, akunjalo?”

I laughed a bit. “Yebo, ngiyathembisa.”

“Good.”

----《 ¤ 》----

I tried to keep my promise.

----《 ¤ 》----

“3, you doing good?” Max asked me.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I think, just a mild sickness…”

He paused. “Go back to your room.”

“What?”

“Go back to your room. If you’re sick right now, you have to go rest.”

I protested, “I’m fine Max! It’s just a mild sickness of some sort…”

“OV, if you could see yourself right now, you’d know damn well this isn’t ‘mild sickness’.”

I scoffed.

“You’re barely walking right now.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying, I-! Actually, you know what, stay right fucking there, I’m getting 9.”

“Okay, but I’m telling you, it’s not that bad.”

I waited for a while.

They finally returned but… Was I on the floor now? When had that happened?

There was some noise, it was faint. Like someone was calling to me. I saw what looked like a hand in front of me. I made some sort of noise, trying to respond. I felt like I should be panicking, but I had too little energy.

Next thing I knew, I was off the ground. Was someone carrying me? Everything was blurry. I could barely keep my eyes open.

Then it was soft.

Incredibly soft. I recognized the feeling of a bed.

I melted into the dark surrounding me. Eventually my hearing cleared. And I was able to open my eyes again.

“3? 3 are you awake?” I heard.

“Mmmmmm…”

“Hey, hey! Dont fall asleep again! Look at me,” it sounded like Relena.

I opened my eyes and weakly pushed myself up. This whole situation was so vague in my memory… I feel like I have something to do…

“Hey, 3, look at me. How many fingers am I holding up?”

I concentrated as best I could. “Mmmm…. Four?” I guessed.

She sighed and put her hand down, “No OV… Just rest, I’ll take care of today. You’re too out of it to do anything right now.”

That jogged my mind a bit. There’s… a lot of us… in the building… I’m meant to be taking care of us… I’m meant to be taking care of us!

I instantly started to get out of bed and was just as instantly pushed back into in. “No 3! You stay here!”

“I’m meant to… be taking care of… the others right now!” I slurred.

“No! I’m taking care of the others today! You’re sick!”

My vision started getting blurry again and I could feel a tightening in my throat. “But I-"

“But nothing! Rest!”

I felt something warm go down my cheek. “I’m supposed to- I’m our safety net! If I’m not there and something really bad happens-”

“We’ll take care of it! There’s more people than just you here, 3. If things really go wrong, we’ll figure it out.”

I was starting to have some trouble breathing. Crying. That’s what’s happening. I’m sobbing.

“But- the, the others-”

“Vee, I can take over for a day. It’s one day. You’re usually our safety net. Let us be yours.”

She lifted my mask and wiped away my tears. “We’ll be fine. Just take a break. You’ve already done way too much for your age. Just one day, okay?”

I nodded as best I could. I ended up crying myself back to sleep. Even after waking up again, this time alone in my room, I couldn’t shake the feeling I’d somehow failed everyone.

It should’ve been fine. I should’ve been able to handle it. It’s my job to take care of the others. Today shouldn’t have been any different.

“Hey, 3, you awake in here?” someone called from the doorway after a while, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, what is it Agno?”

“Dinnertime. C’mon, join us. We missed you today.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a bit, just gimmie a moment.”

You shouldn’t have missed me today. Because I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there.

[marwritesgood]

Trying | O. Diaz

Pairing: Oscar x Martinez!Reader

Timeframe: Mid Season One

Summary: Oscar realises how badly he messed up and tries to fix things between him and Y/n.

masterlist - PART ONE

A/N: I changed the timeline of the show a bit and some of the details a bit. Just one more part after this one!

I had spent the following days ignoring Oscar’s countless calls and text messages. I found it convenient he only knew how to contact me when he wanted talk to me. Especially when, for the first week he was back, he didn’t say a word to me apart from our interaction when I dropped Cesar off.

I was enjoying having space from him, as hurt as I still was. However, I found myself having to see him again when Cesar asked me to drop off the last of his things. Normally I would have made him come and pick it up himself, but ever since Oscar got back he had been keeping a close eye on Cesar.

“Y/n,” Oscar huffed when he opened the door to me.

I looked away and clutched the box of Cesar’s things closer to my chest. I could tell he hadn’t slept for a while. His eyes were sunken and his beard had grown out to the point where it was unruly. Nonetheless, I told him I didn’t want to anything to do with him, and so I was gonna stick by that.

“I’m so glad you’re here-”

“I’m not here for you, pendejo,” I muttered harshly at him with a straight face. I then shoved past him and walked into his house. It was messier than normal. Placing the box on the coffee table, I turned back to Oscar who was sheepishly quiet. “Cesar asked me to drop off the rest of his things.”

Oscar coughed uncomfortably as I opened the box and pulled out sheets of paper; Cesar’s medical certificates from the past four years. When I looked back at him, he held the back of his neck, confusion washing over his expression.

“I didn’t realise he stayed with you the whole time I was gone.”

“Hmph-” I scoffed. For a man as smart and as calculating as Oscar was, he could be really clueless at time. I shook my head and sighed in annoyance. “You trusted me with him, remember?... Unlike you, I actually have a sense of loyalty.”

“Y/n-”

“Why else did you think I dropped him off when you got here?” I asked incredulously. It was comical at this point. How little attention he paid to the things I did for him. Taking Cesar in was only one of many. “’Cause it sure as hell wasn’t that hyna you slept with last week.”

I didn’t mean to be so snide but I had a lot of pent up anger. 

“Y/n-”

Before he could mumble another empty apology, I handed him the papers in my hand before explaining to him what they were. From the confused look he had when skimming through it, I could tell he needed the explanation.

“Those are Cesar’s medical certificates from the past few years,” I began, before fishing through his box for the epipen I got him. Once retrieving it, I handed it to Oscar who still looked confused. “That’s his epipen. He’s never had to use one himself, but he knows how to... just in case. We found out last year that he’s allergic to shellfish.”

He flipped onto the next few pages, nodding silently as I explained what was written. 

“Him and Ruby broke their arms that month,” I explained when I noticed the date written on the page he was reading. I suppressed the smile threatening to appear on my lips when I remembered the ridiculous situation they were in that led to their injuries. “It should be fully healed, but just in case he injures that arm again it might be important.”

“Uhm-” Oscar shook his head, dumbfounded, before turning to me, expression still ridden with confusion. “How did you-”

“The doctor I take Ruby to is a family friend,” I interrupted. “I started taking Cesar there too when he was staying with us... If he ever needs to see one, just let me know and I can take him.”

Oscar nodded sheepishly, before putting his hand down. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly before turning to me again; his expression apologetic.

“...Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” I shot back in an even tone. My love and adoration for Cesar was not going to be a leeway for him to try and charm his way back into my life. “Cesar’s always been my family. This is just what you do for the people you care about... Maybe you should try it some time.”

“Y/n-”

I rolled my eyes and turned towards the corridor. The last time I walked down that hall was when Oscar was leading me into his bedroom. I missed the way he was that night, but I was sick of waiting around for that version of him to appear.

“Cesar,” I called out. Within a minute, Cesar’s bedroom door shot open and he made his way over to me, a grateful smile apparent on his face. Granted, it had been a while since I last saw him. After greeting me with a hug, I opened up the flaps of the cardboard box so he could see what was inside. “I brought the rest of your stuff... If you need anything else just call me okay?”

“Thank you, Y/n,” he praised, before lifting the box up to eventually take back to his room. I smiled and wrapped my arm around his shoulder, pulling him in for a side-hug.

I contemplated hanging around for a bit longer, but I knew it was best to leave as soo as Cesar got his box of belongings. The longer I stayed the more I risked having to talk to Oscar for longer and I knew better than to let that happen.

As angry as I was at him, I still cared too much. Sticking around would not only risk another conversation, it would risk me forgiving too easily like I always used to do. I didn’t want that anymore.

***

A few days or so later, Ruby had asked me to make some food for him and his friends. Normally I would have pried him on what was going on before agreeing to do so, but I was grateful to have something to keep me busy.

I tried so hard not to think about Oscar, but it wasn’t exactly easy forgetting someone I spent most of my whole life with. He sure made it look easy. 

“Olivia,” I called out to my pseudo-cousin and handed her the bowl of nachos I had made. She took it from me and awaited my instructions on where to put it. “Place this on the table please?”

After she did so I turned back to the rest of the food I had made. I had tried so hard to distract myself, I ended up making enough food to last the rest of the week. 

Nonetheless, I knew it would be put to good use. Not only because of how many people lived in my house, but also because of how many people walked in and out of it like it was an alleyway.

Ruby and Jamal were on the couch rambling on about taking precautions for future litigations, whilst Monse and Jasmine were just walking out of Olivia’s room. The two of them came and helped put the rest of the food out, which prompted Jasmine to fill the uncomfortable silence with uncomfortable commentary in her own infamously unique way.

“Y/n, I heard how you kicked Spooky to the curb-”

“Jasmine,” Monse scolded. 

Ever since the kids heard about my falling out with Oscar they made it a point not to bring him up in front of me. I appreciated them for doing so, but I also didn’t mind hearing him be brought up by Jasmine, because I knew she would have something snide to say about the way he acted. I could always count on her for that.

“What? I just wanna say good for you,” Jasmine said, smiling at me as she draped her arm around my shoulder. “Ain’t no Santos gonna come up in here and treat our girl like shit- Y/n knows her worth.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, because I knew Jasmine was being sincere and I really appreciated her backing me up in such a vocal and vivacious manner. 

“Thank you, Jasmine,” I smiled, before placing the bowl of ceviche on the table so I could give her a hug. 

Jamal and Ruby stood up from the couch, eyes widening when they saw all the food laid out on the table. Ruby picked up his phone to check his messages, before turning back to the rest of us.

“Cesar’s almost here.”

After a moment, police sirens sounded throughout our block. Normally we wouldn’t think much of it since this was a typical thing for Freeridge, but when we could hear helicopters, we knew something serious was happening. 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. 

Ruby went to open it and I kept a close eye on who was there. When he pulled it open, I saw Oscar and Cesar standing at the door, each with a bowl in their hands.

“One of the homies got shot,” Oscar explained before walking in with Cesar.

I cursed under my breath, knowing this meant we all had to stay inside until the cops said it was okay to leave. This meant that Oscar would have stick around for an indefinite amount of time. 

“I brought guacamole,” Cesar explained as he handed me the bowl he held. 

I smiled and accepted it graciously, before greeting him with a hug. Ever since he got jumped into los Santos and went from being affiliated to becoming a member, he didn’t hang around my house as often as before. 

“Thank you so much, Cesar,” I replied, making a point not to look Oscar in the eye who stood awkwardly beside Cesar, as if he was waiting for me to acknowledge him. When I moved past him to get the jug of lemonade I had made, he stood to face me from the opposite side of the kitchen bench.

“I-I brought ceviche-”

“I already made ceviche,” I fired back, before going back to the table and placing the jug of lemonade on the table. 

“We can just have more ceviche then.”

“Some of us are loyal to one ceviche,” I replied, knowing that at the point I wasn’t talking about ceviche. In all honesty, I was grateful he brought more because I missed his famous ceviche, but I would never admit that.

“Huh?” 

Oscar was not catching on, but from the quiet snickering in the back, I knew the kids had already picked up on what I was referring to. 

“Some of us don’t just eat one ceviche then throw it away so we can eat another... but of course you wouldn’t think the same.”

He didn’t have anything to say in response. 

“Why don’t we just start eating?” Ruby suggested. He seemed both concerned about me and eager to diffuse the tension. 

“She didn’t mean anything.” Oscar seemingly had other ideas and took an awfully long time to come up with a response. I narrowed my eyes at him warningly, but he continued. “Lo prometo, Y/n, it didn’t mean anything and if could take it back I would.”

“Well you can’t,” I retorted.

The kids moved to where the sofa was, not wanting to get in the middle of what was on its way to becoming a screaming match. 

“Tell me what you want,” Oscar said in a pleading yet aggressive tone. I scoffed and shook my head as tears began to brim in my eyes. “Just tell me how to fix this, and I’ll do it-”

“You can’t fix this,” I yelled, frustrated not only by how angry he was making me but by how simple he was making out the situation to seem.

“Don’t say that-”

“No, shut up,” I shouted, causing the kids’ eyes to widen in shock. Almost everyone on our block was terrified to so much as raise their voice or make eye contact with Oscar, but I wasn’t everyone else. “You’re the one who slept with another girl. I’m not gonna stand here and tell you how to fix something you did- figure it out for yourself.”

I couldn’t bear being around him for much longer, so I stormed off and locked myself in my room. I didn’t come out until I was certain that Oscar had left.

***

The following day was Halloween and my mom entrusted me with my twin siblings. Ruby and his friends had told me they were planning on heading out to Brentwood, so I told them I would drop them off and take the twins on a different route within the same neighbourhood.

“I’m gonna take the twins down there,” I explained to Ruby, before turning to the rest of the kids. “Be safe and be back here before ten.”

They all nodded before proceeding to go their separate ways. 

Ruby had devised a plan to maximise the amount of candy they would have by the end of the night and, knowing him, he would throw a fit if the others didn’t follow it accordingly.

Once I started heading down the pavement with my siblings clutching onto each of my hands, I felt my phone vibrating in the back pocket of my jeans. Letting go of Luis’ hand, I pulled out my phone to answer it, only to hear my mother asking me a million questions at once.

“Yes, ma,” I groaned, subconsciously letting go of Luisa’s hand as well to get a better grip of my phone. “Yes we’re fine... We’ll be home soon.”

“Are the twins okay?”

“Yes,” I droned, growing annoyed at how much my mom worried even though I had been looking after my younger siblings for most of their life. This changed, however, when I looked down and realised that not only had I let go of both their hands, but they were nowhere in sight. “I gotta go, Ma, I’ll see you at home.”

In hindsight, it wasn’t wise to keep the fact that I lost my twin siblings from our mother, but it was my first instinct. Somehow, I knew I would eventually find them in a neighbourhood I had rarely been to prior to that night.

“Luisa!... Luis!” I called out, but to no avail. Suddenly the thought of something bad happening to them began to sunk in and I began to panic.

I spent the following half hour calling their names as I ran along the streets of Brentwood. It wasn’t until I reached the end of a cul-de-sac that I saw a familiar car and realised that they were sitting on the bonnet.

Running down the street, I shoved my way past a crowd of people who looked like they were coming out from the house that the familiar vehicle was parked in front of. Once I got there, I realised the vehicle was in fact Oscar’s car, and that it was him standing by it while my twin siblings sat on his bonnet and appeared to be taking turns as playing games on his phone. 

Oscar looked up and saw me running, an expression of relief apparent on his face. Luisa, who had just finished having her turn on Oscar’s phone, also looked up and got off the bonnet so she could meet me half way.

“Gracias a dios,” I murmured under my breath as I held my baby sister close to chest. After I got to Luis, I placed Luisa back on the bonnet, before inspecting them both to see if they were injured in any way. “How many times have I told you not to run away from me.”

Luis handed Oscar his phone back before hugging me. The two of them mumbled an apology before getting back on the ground.

“You found them?” I asked, looking pointedly at Oscar, who nodded.

“I saw them sitting on the pavement on my way here,” he explained quietly.

“Thank you,” I whispered gratefully. He smiled before nodding again.

We hadn’t spoken since the day he came to my house. If he was still confused on what to do to make me not angry with him anymore, this was a pretty good start, but I wasn’t planning on telling him that. 

Somehow, I felt he knew.

When the kids came out from the house, I took Ruby, the twins and Monse in my car, while Oscar to the other three in his. We agreed to meet back my house so the kids could split the candy they had which ended up being a lot, because apparently Oscar had scared the shit out of a white boy.

“I can’t believe you lost the twins,” Ruby said in a whispery yet judgemental tone. In his defense, the last time he took care of the twins, I scolded him for making Luisa’s sandwich incorrectly. 

“Can we just agree not to tell mom?” 

Ruby nodded instantly.

Once we got home, the kids ran inside to split the candy up, and I carried my younger siblings, who had fallen asleep on the car ride, inside and onto their beds. Afterwards, I went back outside to Oscar, who stood leaned against his car door. He looked deep in thought until he saw me approaching him.

“Thanks,” I said, not looking at him directly. I could see him beginning to smile in the corner of my eye. “- for finding the twins and for driving out to Brentwood for the kids... Olivia told me what happened.”

He nodded, chuckling softly as he thought back to the kid he most likely scarred for like tonight. After a prolonged moment of silent, he looked up and faced me, watching me intently as I stared into my house- smiling as I watched the kids freak out over the tower of chocolate bars they had to themselves.

“I’m really sorry, Y/n,” he whispered. I turned back to face him and I nodded once. I was tired of being angry at him. Just as well he was finally starting to act like the Oscar I knew and loved.

“I know,” I replied softly. 

Oscar smiled gratefully. No snide remark. No sarcasm. No glaring. He seemed relieved that he was finally making some progress at fixing things between us. 

And then he went and fucked it up.

Before I could register what he was trying to do, Oscar began leaning towards me, his hands finding their way onto my waist much too quickly for comfort. Just as our lips were about to touch, I wormed my way out of his grasp and took a step back.

“What are you doing?” I shrieked. He looked confused. He had been doing a lot of that lately. When he didn’t respond, I felt my anger towards him returning. “Oscar, do you like me like that or do you not?”

He remained silent.

“Because you kissed me the night before you left, then you came back and slept with someone else.” It felt good explaining to him why I was upset in the first place, but also frustrating that it wasn’t already clear enough.

I was grateful he found my twin siblings. I was grateful he stood up for the kids. Neither one of those actions, however, made clear to me whether or not he still liked me the way I liked him and I was sick of waiting around for him to let me know. 

“I thought if I pushed you away, I’d be able to keep you safe.”

“What do you mean?” I asked in confusion. Oscar being a Santos never proved to be an issue when we were friends, I couldn’t understand why all of a sudden I needed to be protected.

“I didn’t think I was gonna get locked up, Y/n,” he explained with a pained expression. This was the first time we really talked about what had happened to him. “-but shit happened, and I lost my freedom for 4 years. I don’t want shit to happen and for you to get hurt because your involved with me... I’d rather go back to prison than let that happen.”

I should have known. Behind every stupid mistake Oscar made there was always an honourable reason. A noble logic. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel relieved and almost touched that his actions were motivated by his love for me. But something was still not sitting well with me.

“Wait, so what you were gonna do after you kissed me? Just go back to treating me like shit so you can protect me?”

“I- I don’t know,” he spluttered, shoving his hands in his pocket and scratching the back of his neck.

“Oscar, I appreciate that you’re just trying to look out for me,” I whispered. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, knowing that I had more to say. Knowing things weren’t going back to normal just yet. “But you don’t get to just kiss me when you want and then ignore me when you want... I want more than that... I deserve more than that.”

Tears began to brim in my eyes as I felt a lump come to my throat. Oscar inhaled sharply, acknowledging the truth in what I was saying.

“So what’s it gonna be?” I asked, hoping with all my might that he wouldn’t pick the option that would hurt me the most. 

“I just wanna keep you safe, Y/n,” he answered, eyes knitting together as he spoke. I knew he meant what he said. I knew that he was speaking from his heart, but that just wasn’t enough. I needed more.

“That’s not a real answer,” I stated sadly.

I slowly turned around and walked back into the house, leaving Oscar out in the cold yet again.

NEXT PART

[fuckyeahmackenzieboyd]

I’ve Got You Part 2 - Mackron fanfic.

Description: Aaron demands answers as Mackenzie recovers. (For @justherebecausemackenzieboyd

****

“You’re sure, Mum?” Aaron asked

“Yes love. Six other people had the fish last night according to Marlon, and no-one has been ill from it.”

“It doesn’t make any sense. Mack the only one to get ill? He nearly always has that fish and it’s never affected him like this.”

“How’s he doing?” 

“Getting there. He’s not been sick again but he’s exhausted. I just left him in bed. Had to help him have a shower this morning.”

“So, you’re back to thinking someone tampered with it?”

“Must have done, Luke was on shift last night and Ben was hanging around a lot. You know Ben’s feelings on Mack.”

“Well, you did cheat on him with Mack, love.”

“Yeah, I know.” Aaron sighed. “But that doesn’t make this situation ok.”

Ben strolled in with Luke in tow at that point, an almost smug smile plastered on to his face. 

“Alright Aaron? Braveheart not with you?”

Aaron took a deep breath and turned to face Ben. “I’m giving you one chance here, and one chance only. Did you or Luke do anything to Mack’s dinner last night?”

“Like I’d waste my time on that arsehole” Ben laughed. “Unlike some, anyway!”

Aaron nodded “Okay. I’ll send it off for testing then. Mack could only manage half of it before he started feeling ill, I took the rest home, intending to finish it myself but I ended off by Mack’s side in the bathroom all night.  Now, there’s only one type of food that can make Mack that ill, cause he’s told me and he’s also told you. So I’m asking you again, did you do anything? Cause I’ll find out either way. If there’s blueberries in it, they’ll find it.”

Ben’s eyes widened. “It was just a joke, Aaron.”

“You deliberately laced Mack’s food with something he’s allergic to. Now up until just now, you didn’t know the extent of that allergy. You could’ve killed him!”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen! It was just a splash of Blueberry Vodka! What are you going to do?”

“I should kick your head in, but I won’t. Won’t look very good on me when I report this to the police.”

“You can’t do that!” Luke shouted.

“Oh yes I can. In fact I’d say you were both liable for this. Ben poisoned him, you either helped or did nothing to prevent it with both of you not knowing how it could affect him.. I mean that’s.. well, with a good lawyer on Mack’s side and trust me I know quite a few, you could be looking at...Attempted Murder.”

“Aaron, please. Don’t. I’ll lose everything.” Ben begged, his voice breaking

“Not my problem, mate.” Aaron smiled, hopping down off the bar stool. 

“I’ll do anything. ANYTHING.”

“Well, I’ll let you know when Mack is feeling better and you can come over and tell him everything. Then I’ll let him decide what happens next. Then after that, you and your pound-shop Ed Sheeran better stay the hell away from us. That’s if Mack doesn’t kill you first.”

Ben nodded “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, mate.” Aaron replied through gritted teeth.  “Oh and one more thing, knock it off with the slurs about him being Scottish otherwise I’ll make sure Racially motivated hate crime is added to the list of charges as well. You have a nice day now.” Aaron smiled as he lifted himself back up onto the barstool to finish his pint. 

Aaron had forgotten his Mum was there and saw the whole confrontation unfold until she broke the tension between the three men. “You..” she said, pointing a finger at Ben. “You’re barred. For life. And you..” She smiled, pointing to Luke “You’re fired. And also barred. For life. Don’t let the door hit you on the arse on the way out, kids.” 

[theoretical-whore]

Red Roses (Fred Weasley x OC)

Fandom: Harry Potter Rating: PG-13 Warnings: Blood, vomiting, injury, mentions of death, Hanahaki Disease Words: +2k

A/N: oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god I’m actual hot garbage anyway so we’ve got some Hanahaki between Freddie dearest and my OC Vivienne Hollenberry. I’m trash I hate myself and I hate this I’m so sorry this was like six and a half pages long

Fred didn’t think much of it when he felt the first tickle in his throat. They were in Herbology after all, it wasn’t uncommon for one of the plants in Professor Sprout’s greenhouses to be an allergen. He watched as Vivi carefully trimmed their tenatcula, making sure it was just right. Her brow was furrowed in concentration, but her tongue just poking out the side of her mouth. Her scarlet hair was pulled back into twin braids, just how she wore her hair on her family’s farm when they were younger. His heart swelled with love as his throat continued to tickle. He cleared his throat and Vivi looked up at him. 

“Alright there?” she asked, the tiniest bit of concern visible in her blue eyes. 

He flashed a toothy grin at his best friend. “‘Course I’m alright. That tentacula doesn’t look alright, though.” He pointed at the plant, whose head was dangerously close to Vivi’s shears. 

“Oh!” She moved her shears away. “Sorry, little fella. Almost done with your haircut now, don’t worry,” she cooed to the plant. Fred laughed. Tentaculas were dangerous. Leave it to Vivi to call one “little fella.” He felt the tickle in his throat again, and this time he let out a small cough. 

Vivi looked back up at him in concern. “I’m fine, Vivi. Probably just allergic to something in here.”

“You’ve never had any allergic reactions before. Nothing’s different.” She placed her shears down, finished trimming the plant. 

He patted her shoulder affectionately. “The stuff in here is always changing. Why? You worried?”

“If you’re sick, you’re going to give it to me and your brother. I’m just looking after myself,” she said with a roll of her eyes. 

Fred gasped in mock offense, but the sudden intake of air caused another cough. Vivi raced to pat him on the back. “I’m okay, I’m okay!” Fred assured her. George and Lee were looking over from their tentacula. 

“Fred, you alright?” his brother asked. 

“Yeah, I think I’m allergic to something in here.” He raised his hand. “Professor Sprout! May I go to the hospital wing? I think I’m having some sort of reaction.”

Sprout looked at him with concern and gave him a nod. 

Fred turned back to Lee, George, and Vivi. “Just going to go get checked out, you know?” The three others nodded.

“Let us know as soon as you can if something’s wrong.” Vivi looked so worried. Fred’s throat tickled again.

He gently placed his hands on his best friend’s shoulders and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be back for Defense Against the Dark Arts, don’t worry.” And he hurried off to the hospital wing, coughing every now and then. 

Madam Pomfrey gave him a Pepperup Potion to clear up the chest cold she assumed he was developing, but it did nothing. His throat still tickled. He still coughed. If anything, his coughs were getting more frequent and more violent. Madam Pomfrey made him stay through Defense Against the Dark Arts. He wasn’t allowed to leave until she could find out what was wrong with him. 

Vivi and George came in after Defense Against the Dark Arts. Fred felt a pang of jealousy at his brother’s arm around Vivi. He coughed again. “I knew you were getting sick,” Vivi said. “I knew it.”

Fred laughed, ignoring the urge to cough. He held out his hand, which Vivi took and squeezed. “I’m not sick. Madam Pomfrey just isn’t sure what’s wrong. Must not have been allergies, though. I’m still coughing.” As if to punctuate his sentence, he coughed again. 

“It’s worse,” George said matter-of-factly. “You’re coughing harder now.”

Fred nodded. “Yeah. Kinda feels like there’s something in my chest. My throat keeps tickling. Pomfrey is clueless about what’s going on.”

Vivi rubbed Fred’s knuckles with her thumb. “Well, you better get better.” She squeezed his hand again. “Can’t have you staying in here for too long.”

Fred smiled at the girl he loved so dearly. And then his chest tightened. He started to cough, but it was different this time. He doubled over in pain. It felt like something was stabbing at his lungs. The tickle in his throat had returned, but this time it felt like it was climbing up towards his mouth.

“Freddie!” George shouted.

Fred continued to cough and wheeze. Something was in his mouth. He spat into the hand that wasn’t still clutching Vivi’s, hoping to clear whatever it was. But nothing could have prepared any of them for what came out of his mouth. 

“Is that…a flower petal?” Vivi asked, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion. 

In his hand, Fred held what looked to be a deep red rose petal, wet with saliva. How had that possibly gotten inside his mouth? He hadn’t been near any roses lately. But he brushed it off. Surely something had just gone wrong in Herbology. He tossed the flower petal to the ground. 

“Maybe someone jinxed you?” George offered. That made sense.

Madam Pomfrey returned to Fred. “I’m afraid I can’t help you, Mister Weasley. You’re free to go. If the coughing gets worse, return to me.”

He nodded and stood, leaving the hospital wing with his brother and best friend. Vivi’s hand was still in his. His throat tickled again. He coughed into his hand again, catching another rose petal. 

“Is there a jinx that makes you cough up petals?” 

“There’s a jinx to make you cough up slugs, so I wouldn’t be surprised,” George said as they headed to the Great Hall for dinner. “We can ask Flitwick in Charms tomorrow. See if there’s a counter spell.”

Fred nodded. Every now and then, there was a sharp pain in his lungs that made him pause and wince. He wasn’t very hungry at dinner that night. Every time he opened his mouth, he’d have to fish a rose petal from between his lips. He knew he was getting strange glances from other students. How uncommon was it for someone to have petals in their mouth? If it was caused by a jinx, it couldn’t be that odd.

“Professor Flitwick!” Vivienne leapt up from the table and rushed over to the tiny Professor who had just entered the Great Hall. Fred followed her, his hand on his chest to steady his coughing. 

“Miss Hollenberry, Mister Weasley. Good evening. Can I help you?” Flitwick asked with a kind smile. 

“Um, well…” Vivi reached for Fred’s hand again. He suppressed a more violent cough. He felt the petals building up in his mouth. “We were wondering what the counter spell is for the flower coughing jinx.”

“Pardon? The what?”

“The jinx that makes you cough up flower petals.” She looked to Fred, who was having a hard time keeping the petals in his mouth. He turned his head and spat into his hand, shoving the petals into the pocket of his robes. “Someone must have hit Fred with it.”

“Miss Hollenberry, there is no such jinx.”

Fred’s head snapped back to the Professor. “What?” he tried to ask, but was silenced by another violent coughing fit. Petals fell out of his mouth. 

Flitwick’s eyes widened. “That is not the work of any jinx I know. I’m afraid there is something else going on.”

Vivi nodded, making sure Fred was okay. “Thank you, Professor.” 

Flitwick gave the pair a look of concern before leaving the scene to join the other professors for dinner. 

“I’m not hungry anymore…” Fred mumbled. 

Vivi told George that they were leaving before retreating to Gryffindor Tower with a coughing Fred. Rose petals trailed on the floor behind them. 

“Not a jinx…” she mused, stroking Fred’s hair as he rested his head on her shoulder. The pair sat on the floor by the fireplace. Whenever new petals were produced, Fred would toss them into the fire. “A potion, maybe?”

Fred chuckled, causing him to cough and produce a few more petals. “If it was a potion, you’d know.”

“I think you should go back to Madam Pomfrey, Freddie.” 

Fred shook his head. “She said she didn’t know what was wrong with me.”

Vivi hummed. “She didn’t see you cough up petals though.”

Fred shrugged, craning his neck to look up at Vivi. The firelight reflected gorgeously on her crimson hair. He could see the embers sparkling in her eyes. Merlin, she was so, so beautiful.

He started to cough violently again, leaving Vivienne’s embrace. Petals flew everywhere. But something was different again. Instead of a tickle at the back of his throat, there were sharp pains. Like something was crawling up his throat, trying to get out. He gagged. 

“Freddie?” Vivi asked in a panic. “Freddie!”

He gagged again, and again, and then he heaved forward, vomiting onto the floor in front of them. 

But what he spat out wasn’t vomit. It was petals and blood and a single fully formed bloom. The thorns on the flower were clearly the culprits of the sharp pains in his throat. The lining of his throat felt like it had been torn, and he felt like there was a heavy weight on his chest. 

Vivienne practically dragged him back to the infirmary. 

Madam Pomfrey went white as a sheet when she saw him spit out another fully formed rose blossom, again stained in blood. Her expression was deathly serious. “Mister Weasley…”

“What?” Fred said between coughs. He was alone. Madam Pomfrey had chased Vivi out. “Do you…do you know what this is?”

“I’ve only seen it once before. My dear, I’m afraid you’re terribly sick.”

More coughs. More petals. More blood. “I am?”

The matron nodded. “It’s called Hanahaki Disease. And…it pains me to tell you that it’s fatal in most cases.”

Fred felt his heart stop. “Fatal?”

“It’s caused by unrequited love. The only way to cure it is for the love to be returned, or to have it removed. But the removal…comes at an awful price. You will lose all memory of the one you’d fallen in love with.”

“Lose…my memories?”

“And it appears yours is dangerously severe. Unless the disease is cured, the flowers growing in your lungs will suffocate you in a matter of days.” With a sad face, she asked the question he was dreading. “Do you have any idea who these feelings might be for?”

Of course he knew. It was Vivienne. It was always her. She occupied all of his thoughts. His heart, soul, and body yearned for her. And now…his love for her would kill him.

“It’s Miss Hollenberry, is it not?” Fred nodded gravely. “Is it possible that she returns your feelings?” He shook his head. “Then…I’m afraid you only have two options. I’ll leave you to think it over.” Madam Pomfrey gave him a basin for his flowers, and left to let him sleep. 

It wasn’t long before George burst in. “Vivi told me you coughed up a whole bloom! What’s going on?”

Fred mulled over his choices. He couldn’t worry his brother. “I’m fine,” he lied. “We…we think it might have been some sort of potion someone slipped into my drink or something.” He spat up another clump of flowers and blood. His throat felt like someone had taken a knife to it. He gave his brother a smile. “I’ll be fine. Just gotta stay here a few days until it’s passed.”

George looked as if he wasn’t sure he believed his brother. “Alright, well…hurry up and get better. I found Vivi sitting on your bed crying. Don’t keep us worried.”

Fred held in his flowers until his brother had left. He thought he could see the lining of his throat stuck to some of the thorns. Surely Madam Pomfrey was wrong. He’d be better in the morning. 

He wasn’t better in the morning. 

He awoke to dried blood on his lips, flowers and petals surrounding his head, and what felt like a vine growing out of his mouth. He severed the vine with diffindo. 

But the most concerning thing was how hard it had become to breathe. 

Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t let anyone come see him. The curtains were pulled around his cot, and he was utterly alone, coughing up flowers, bleeding, and suffocating. He knew he had dreamed of Vivi returning his love. Madam Pomfrey said that thinking about her or being near her was only causing the plant to spread faster. Several times throughout the day he heard people try to come see him. Ron, Harry, and Hermione came in, having heard from Vivi and George that he was sick. Madam Pomfrey turned them away. She turned away a nervous Ginny and a concerned Angelina Johnson. She turned away George and Vivi at least five times. By the third time, Vivi was in tears, practically begging to see him.

The sound of her crying made his heart ache and his lungs constrict even tighter. He spat up about five roses then, each one more and more soaked with blood. 

His throat was so torn up that he couldn’t even speak. He wheezed whenever he tried to take a breath.

And this carried on for a few days. He could feel the plant in his lungs slowly draining his life. Every day he coughed up more roses, more thorns, more blood. He knew he was dying.

It was on the fifth day that he asked Madam Pomfrey to remove the plant. He knew he couldn’t let himself die, even if it meant forgetting Vivienne. But his heart broke at the very thought. 

Madam Pomfrey waved her wand over him, and hung her head. “My dear…I’m afraid it’s too late.”

Deep inside, Fred knew it would be. He passed out then.

Even unconscious, he could feel the plant growing and expanding, ready to claim his life at any moment. He heard crying. He recognized it as Ginny. He heard Ron and George’s voices trying to comfort her. He even heard Percy’s voice above him, sounding laden with sorrow and grief. He wanted to tell them he was sorry. He was sorry for taking so long to decide to save himself. Sorry that he’d never see Ron and Ginny grown, that he’d never see Percy become Minister for Magic, that he’d be leaving George alone. He wanted to tell them he loved them, to tell mum and dad how much he loved them, and how sorry he was for leaving them.

He felt pressure on his hand. A squeeze. He heard a voice call his name in the darkness. Vivienne’s voice. She was here. She was holding his hand as he died. He wanted to tell her how he’d loved her since second year. He hoped Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t tell her that it was his love for her that had killed him. He felt her rest her head against his heaving chest, he heard her crying for him. Oh, he loved her so much. His precious Vivienne. He hoped she would recover from this. He hoped whoever she ended up with treated her well.

It made sense, he thought. The roses were the same color as her hair.

He felt the darkness calling to him. It was time. Growing ever fainter, he heard Vivienne’s voice once more. 

“Come back to me…” she said. “I can’t live without you. I love you.”

Something changed in his chest. He felt the vines starting to recede. He drew in a breath. It came smoother than it had in days. The crying voices became clearer, the darkness less oppressive.

He opened his eyes.

The first thing he saw was Vivi’s face over him, crying and beautiful. He felt the flowers in his lungs shrink and wither. He took in a heaving, gasping breath as he felt them vanish. The weight was gone from his chest.

His love had been returned. The disease had been cured.

Vivienne leaned back as he gasped to fill his lungs with the air that they had been missing so dearly for the past five days. He saw his siblings’ faces crowding around him. He tried to speak but nothing came out.

Madam Pomfrey helped him to sit and pressed her wand to his throat. He felt the tears stitch together and heal. Percy handed him a glass of water.

He looked at Vivienne, who had her hand clasped over her mouth. “I love you, too,” he said.

[true-bean]

Weird shit I’ve heard high schoolers say/do

Yesterday was my official last day of high school and since the beginning of my freshman year I have been writing down the weird shit I hear high schoolers say and sometimes do. My friends are all still in high school but I just feel like I should end this in my senior year but they better stop sayin weird shit. Also the list ended up being too got damn long so it’s gonna be a strange post anyway here we go

"My dad spent 7 days in jail and I'm pretty sure he's gay now"

"She took my dress and cut it into a lesbian dress"

"My mom called the police on a hobo that lives in the woods between my house and food city"

"Were you there when he stuck tampons up his nose on the bus?"

"Ah it's crooked!" "Just like my sexuality"

"I told my wrestling team that I'm a lesbian so they won't flirt with me"

"I forgot that pennies aren't see-through"

*stacking books* "we gotta build trumps wall"

*taking down the books* "we gotta destroy trumps wall"

*student runs out and slams door followed by a student entering the class* "someone salty?"

"Its mostly just trump and president Obama and Vice President Biden because I love Biden memes"

"Troye Sivan is my god, he's my gay god"

"She gorgeous, angel birthed!"

Just has a fucking bitcoin fidget spinner spinning on his laptop

"I am a really aggressive note taker"

"You should see how many pens i have" - "name three" - "blue, red, and black" - "fair enough"

"Boy I hope Dylan gets here so I'll have someone to get lit with"

"Just pretend to be a lesbian for a day"

"Nothing like drinking cheese juice"

"My uterus hurts so fucking bad"

*over intercom* "Come watch me break mr. Brinkmans ankles"

*holds up connect 4* "I'm gonna kill somebody"

"I just told you I have a fucking orthodontist appointment"

"It's not my fault that you have a boney ass"

“I hate happy people”

“I don’t want the fish to get high”

“GOTTA SUCK IN THAT FIRE”

“Shut up we lost our streak!”

“How the fuck do left handed people survive?”

“I like growing boys”

“I’m going to sit on one of you”

“Okay boner buddy”

“Hey, straight people are so gay”

“You could say bubbles in German and it sounds like a hate crime”

“It is an allergic relaxation”

“Can we listen to monster while we’re in the ditch?”

*laughing* “I’m getting bullied by gays for being gay”

*from hallway* “Isabelle I need you!” - “you’re gay!”

“Yeah I didn’t reach that and now I feel like a failure”

“No Brittany that’s cannabalism”

“I just walked in there like yeet”

“Dillion you want a black baby?”

“We can watch shrek my twin brother”

“Oh my heck”

“Control your yeet”

*drawing a skull* “the eyes are uneven because that’s how I’m feeling”

“Can I big mood this?”

“Well I’m the aggressive note taker so”

“Quick Kaitlyn before the bell rings, does my hair smell like strawberries?” - “It smells like hair”

“Some mother truckin eggs”

“Jamie you yeeted it, this isn’t the time for yeeting that was a good yeet though”

*talking about laptop* “I like to ignore it until it dies so I can show dominance”

“Arms length bitch!”

“Why do I have popsicle sticks?” - “the real question is why wouldn’t you have popsicle sticks”

“What do you want?” - “death” - “from McDonald’s”

“If I can’t be straight in real life I can’t be straight in disc golf”

Just straight up sticks grass up another persons nose

“How do you feel about the word shit pickle?”

“A chrysalis is like a crunchy salty gusher”

“Let’s yeet our way to the band room”

*looking at hands* “I have turd fingers”

“I understand that you’re angry but put the cap on, be human”

“That grass taste pretty good”

“Beep beep I want death”

“These are pride flags you fucking demon”

“The gender neutral bathroom is the nicest bathroom I have lied on the floor of”

“It’s oof o’clock”

“I straight up yeeted my way down five steps”

“Listen I’m gonna use my tongue as my straw”

Presenting: “Lincoln’s biggest competition in the erection- aw shit-“

“Alex I don’t think I’m gay enough I should do cocaine”

“Oh my ass was just watering”

“You have an eyelash on your glasses” - “it makes me more threatening”

“It’s like slam poetry but it’s scary”

Happily, “Look at them flies die”

“I don’t like fingers”

“I was too savage for the soda”

“I have a breakdown over Owen Wilson’s nose at least once a day”

“You seagull the door”

“Are you claiming my ass”

“Great pace!” - “not really I wanna die”

“MY EYEBROWS ARE GONNA WASH OFF!”

“Anyone who invented running hated children”

“I’m going full on lesbian I don’t like guys anymore”

“It’s just a whole mess of just sadness”

“I’m gonna fuck the moon”

“That Oreo had sand in it” - “yeah no shit. We’re at the beach alex, everything has sand in it, including your ass”

“Polluting? Don’t you mean some dolphin will get sick shades”

“It’s an uwu day”

“That purple hat holds a curse, a moist, moist curse”

“It’s 5:04 you dingus”

“His hair looks like a lollipop dropped on the carpet”

“Are you uwu or are you uwoke?”

“I’ll give you hamlet for one cocaine”

“I’ll burn you with this corndog”

“I lowkey hate my life”

“And they tried to yeet him out of existence”

“I shouldn’t have heyawd”

“Alex. Why are you a failure?”

Just sticking pencils in his hair

“I’m starving I’m gonna eat my left arm”

“I wanna die myself”

[shawnpetermuffins]

Allergies

Request by @prettylittlethingggg: how about the reader’s allergies are really bad and shawn tries to help (maybe on tour idk your choice)!!!

A/n: thank you for the Request! I loved the idea! Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1.8k

***

Touring with Shawn is a dream. I get to spend every moment with the love of my life and I get to watch him do what he loves most in the world.

However, I was not prepared for the effects this constant travel would have on me. Going from one city to the next, one country right after the other, it's exhausting. Which is probably why I've suddenly become so allergic to nearly everything outside.

Okay… so I know it doesn't work that way, obviously. I've had allergies my whole life. My main triggers being flowers and dirt.  So that phrase, "stop and smell the roses" never really applied to me. But it seems like all Shawn ever wants to do is go outside. Which I guess I get, he's constantly on planes or in hotel rooms, or in arenas and he never truly gets to see the beauty of the places he's in.

And I'm usually willing to go out and see the world with him. But that just isn't the case this time. We'd been exploring nonstop only yesterday, and now my eyes are red and puffy. My nose is stuffed up and running, my throat itches and nothing will help with it. Not to mention my throbbing headache now that the sun is filtering brightly through the thin, sheer curtains of our hotel room.

Shawn's arm is wrapped around my chest, making it even harder for me to breathe seeing as I'm having to inhale deeper since I'm breathing through my mouth. I manage to push him off as gently as I can and make my way to the bathroom for a hot shower, in hopes that the steam with open up my nose a little bit.

It helps a little. I'm still stuffy and my throat and head are still fighting for top pain spot - my head is winning, but not by much.

When I step back into the room, my warm, red skin wrapped in a towel, Shawn looks up from his phone. "Hey, baby. Brian wants to go look at this cool record shop he saw yesterday when we were coming back to the hotel. You wanna get dressed?"

I sigh and dig into my bag, searching for clean underwear and a bra.

My heartbeat is so loud in my ears that I barely register the soft patter of his feet on the carpet and nearly jump out of my skin when his hands find my bare waist. He immediately removes himself from me and I feel bad.

"Sorry," he whispers, now only placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Y/n, look at me."

I do and his face softens with concern, "Your eyes are red. Have you been crying?"

I sniffle, shaking my head. "Just don't feel good." I slip into my underwear and drop the towel to clasp my bra, but Shawn reaches the straps before I do and does it for me.

"What's wrong? And you hurting? Do I need to get you something? You can't take Tylenol right? You're allergic to it?"

"Shawn," I say softly, barely trusting my voice which is raspier than I expected it to be considering it was just an itchy throat. But I forget every time just how bad my allergies get. "Don't worry about me."

He glares at me, "Don't tell me that. How can I not? My girl doesn't feel good."

"I'll live. Go out with Brian. I'm gonna sit this one out."

"What? No." He pulls a shirt out of his suitcase and hands it to me. "Put this on. I'm gonna run to the drugstore and get you some medicine, okay? I'll be back as quickly as possible."

"Shawn, I'm fine. Go hang out. Please."

"I'm not just gonna leave you while you feel like shit. I'd lose good boyfriend points."

"I'm not keeping score," I mumble, sliding into the soft fabric of his shirt.

"I am. And I'd be a horrible boyfriend if I left you alone while you didn't feel good."

"You would n-"

He put his phone up to his ear, holding one finger up, basically telling me to be quiet and I kinda want to punch him for it. Maybe I should be keeping score.

"Brian, hey. So, I can't go today… no, I know, but y/n doesn't feel good. I need to keep her company… No. Yeah. But that not the only reason I called. I have to get her some medicine from the drugstore. You think you could come to our room and just keep an eye on her until I come back?" He's silent for a second and I sigh dramatically, falling back onto the bed. "Oh yeah, they probably would have something downstairs, eh? I'll check there first. Thanks, bud. I'll see you in a minute… okay, bye."

"I don't need a babysitter," I groan, resulting in a cough.

"I know you don't but I would just feel better if you had someone here."

"It's allergies, Shawn. I'm not dying."

"If it's allergies, what bothering you? Eyes, clearly. Nose? You sound kinda stuffy. Do your ears hurt?"

"They just don't work," I roll onto my side, curling into myself and looking up at him while I talk. "One minute you sound really loud and the next you're muffled."

"Okay? What else? Throat?"

I nod, "and my head."

He sighs, "I'm sorry, baby." He leans down to press a kiss to my temple; I melt into his touch, but he pulls away too soon for my liking. "I'll get anything I can. I'll get water and gatorade. Hell, I'll get everything. Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

He nods, finding a pair of socks and a hoodie thrown carelessly in his bag. "I'm gonna get you something anyway. You need to eat."

I roll my eyes, "then why ask me if you're gonna do it anyway?"

He sighs and comes back to sit next to me. "I'm just going to pretend that you're not giving me attitude because you're sick. Can't punish you when you're sick," he smirks, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

"Hmmm… promise to do it when I'm feeling better?" I ask without opening my eyes.

He chuckles in response, "we'll see, honey." There's a knock on the door and he's off the bed in a second. "Hey, buddy. Thanks for doing this."

I don't hear what Brian says, he's speaking much softer than Shawn and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grateful.

"She's laying on the bed."

"Hey, y/n. How you feeling?" He asks, looking a bit amused with my current state. I know I look like absolute trash.

"Fine enough to stay in the room without a babysitter while Shawn goes downstairs."

"Well, while I would agree," he sits next to me and pats my head. "Shawn doesn't think so."

"It's literally just allergies. I just need to take a pill and I'll be fine. He's fussing about nothing."

"I'm still here, you know?" I hear his foot hit the floor after he shoves his shoe on.

"I'm aware," I grumble, scooting closer to Brian so I can rest my head in his lap. He chuckles and runs his hands through my hair, causing my eyes to grow heavy.

"I'll be right back, baby."

I nod the best I can through my lazy state, eyes closed, and listen for the door to close.

---

I don't know how long he's gone or how I ended up back on my side of the bed instead of on Brian's lap, but I wake up sometime around noon. Shawn's nowhere to be seen, but I hear him strumming a guitar from the small living room. My headache, thankfully, has dulled, and I waddle over to where he's sitting on the couch.

He smiles when he sees me, and I kind of wish I had been a little quieter so I could listen to him play a little longer. "Hey, baby! Have a nice nap?"

I nod, my eye fluttering shut for a second.

"I'm glad." He sets his guitar down and reaches for the bag on the coffee table. He's pulling out all different kinds of medicine, four different gatorade flavors, lots of snacks and I just stare in awe at this man.

"Okay," he says without looking up. "I wasn't sure what was bothering you most, so I kinda just got you one of every allergy thing down there. So we have runny nose, sore throat, itchy/irritated eyes. There's one for congestion, I think that's what allergies are sometimes, right?" He moves the boxes around while talks. "I got you some water. They ran out of the red gatorade, and I know that's your favorite, so I just got you a few other ones in case you still wanted that. I'll get you a red one after dinner. And I know you said you weren't really hungry, so if you're not in the mood for a meal," he clears his throat and I smile down at him, resting my head against the door frame. "I got you some snacks. There's gold fish, some granola bars, a few bags of Chex mix. They had fruit roll ups, and I didn't know when the last time was that you had one, so I got a couple of those."

He finally looks up at me beneath those long lashes and I could melt right here. "What's wrong? You're staring weird."

I shake my head with a small smile on my face, "I just… I'm in love with you."

His cheeks instantly redden. "Well I'm in love with you, too."

I make my way over to him and he spreads his legs a little, giving me space to slide between them. His hands rub soothing circles on my sides and I hum at the soft contact. "Thank you for bringing me this stuff, and for taking care of me. You really didn't-" I stop myself just in time to sneeze into my elbow. I sniffle and continue, "you didn't have to."

Shawn's laugh rumbles against my stomach, where his head had found it's resting spot and my fingers thread leisurely through his thick curls. "I did have to. Can't have you feeling like this the rest of the week."

"You're perfect," I mumble into his hair and his grip on my waist tightens.

"Come on," he pats the back of my bare thighs and looks up at my albeit still red eyes, "let's get you some medicine and lots of fluids."

"Since when did you become a doctor?" I laugh lightly.

"Since I watched all of Grey's."

"Should I call you doctor Mendes?" I mean it as a joke, but he takes it another way.

A smirk plays at his lips and he squeezes my thigh. "We'll save that for another time," he winks and I immediately cover my face.

"You're incorrigible."

"You love me," he presses a kiss to my clothed stomach and I nod despite my better judgement.

"I do. Sometimes, I think a little too much."

***

Tags: @curlyshawny @bbellbagel @shawns-badreputation @anamariel2301 @turtoix @tomshufflepuff @ivegotparticulartaste @dino-16-avocado

Hope you enjoyed! Like, reblog, and leave feedback!! 💙

[aggedyann]

1 Cold 4 Stories Part 2

2. Ella & Sam

Ella was the first to call, attempting to chew him out between sneezes. “Jerkface.” She croaked.

“Oh no,” Freddie sighed. “I got you.”

“Yes.” She tried to yell, but she just didn’t have the voice for it. Instead, her attempt rewarded her with a coughing jag. “Yes,” came the hoarse response. “And Sam.” There was silence for a few seconds, then “hiichiew, ihhchieew, hiitchiew.”

“Bless you.” Freddie offered.

“Oh, save it.” Ella snapped. “This is horrible. Hiiitchiiiew. I’ve never been this sick, and Sam’s even worse off.”

“Yeah, um, this is a nasty cold.” Freddie said, awkwardly. Great, he’d gotten two of his coworkers sick.

“Uhh, yeah. Next time, just stay home from work!”

Freddie took a deep breath. Ella had been pissed the last time he’d gotten her sick. Best to just let her yell it out. Or try to, he thought, as another series of raspy coughs filled his ear.

“We’re out of practically everything, and I have to drag myself to the store because Sam can’t .”

Now she was crying. He had forgotten that about Ella; she cried when she was sick.

“Ella…Ella!” He broke through her tears the second time

“What!” She snapped. Now she was angry and crying.

“What do you need?”

“Hiiehhtchiew. Like you care.” She sniffled, and he heard her blow her nose.

“Tell me what you need, and I’ll bring it over.” He said, firmly and patiently, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen.

“Are-are you sure?”

“Positive.” Long pause. “I’m on the feeling better side now, so let me help you guys.”

She gave him a list – tissues, cold medicine, cough drops, orange juice, vapor rub.”

“I’ll be over as soon as I get it all, ok,” he promised.

“Thank you, Freddie. Sorry for, well.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he assured her as he heard Sam sneezing in the background.

He got to the girls’ apartment an hour and a half later with a box of supplies and groceries. Sam buzzed him in, then opened the door when he got there.

She looked terrible. Pale and red nosed, with dark circles under her eyes. Fortunately, he was smart enough to refrain from commenting on it. He simply greeted her, apologized, and set the box on the coffee table, handing her a fresh box of tissue and the cold medicine.

“Thagk you.” She sniffled as Ella came out of her bedroom, looking only slightly better than Sam. She was clutching a roll of toilet paper and blowing her nose. Freddie tore open a box of tissues and handed it to her.

Sam handed her the cold medicine. “Thanks.” Her voice was rougher and hoarser than it had been on the phone.

“I can find some glasses, get you guys some juice.” Freddie said, picking up the two gallons of orange juice he had bought.

“Dext to the sidk .” Sam sniffled, blowing her nose again.

Freddie took the orange juice into the kitchen and returned with two glasses of juice.

“Hatshoo.” He jumped at a loud sneeze from Sam, nearly spilling the juice. Ella laughed, taking a glance from him as Sam let out another loud “HehtShoo!”

“Bless you.” He said, handing her her glass. “”Those sound awful.”

“Habe you heard Ella’s cough?” She tried to joke.

He nodded. “I’m sorry you guys.”

“I do’t thigk you dew you were goig to get this sigk.” She opened a packet of DayQuil and swallowed them with the orange juice. “Ugh, baybe dow I cad talk dormally.”

“Have-“

“Hittchieew, hitchiew, hit’chiuu, hitchieuw.” Ella interrupted. “Sorry, I’m sneezing like crazy with this.”

Sam nodded. “Bless you. I’m loud, and she’s nonstop with this.”

“I was harsher and violent.” Freddie admitted. “Have you two eaten?”

Ella shook her head. “Neither of us felt like it.”

“I had a granola bar.” Sam said. “Around 6.”

“I brought stuff to make soup. If you help me find a pot, I’ll throw it together.”

“You don’t have to…” Sam protested.

“I want to. You need to eat to get better.” Ella led him into the kitchen and showed him where the pots and pans were. He grabbed the box from the coffee table and started chopping chicken. 20 minutes later, he had made chicken and dumpling soup to the soundtrack of their sneezes.

He brought them into the kitchen over protest. “You don’t want to sneeze while holding soup. Trust me.” He told them, gravely.

He ladled them each up a bowl and watched them pick at it.

“This is good.” Ella said slowly before tucking her face in her arm. “Hitchiew, hih-hihtchiew, hihhtishuu.”

Which was followed up by Sam. “Hahhtshoo, hahhAhshoo.”

“Bless you both.” Freddie watched as they grabbed tissues from the box on the table and blew their noses.

“It is good.” Sam confirmed. “Thangks.”

“Do you have something I can put the rest in?”

“I’ll get it later.” Sam said as Freddie’s phone rang.

“It’s Tim.” He told them.

“Oh, you better take that.” Ella told him. “He’s sick too.”

“Hey Tim. what’s up?” Freddie answered.

“Cand you brindg be Kleenex?” A stuffy voice asked. “I’b albost out. Jabie doesn’t adswer.”

“Jamie’s at work. And sure.” He paused while Tim coughed. “What else to you need?”

“I do’t dow.” Tim was on the whiny side with his response. Freddie sighed. Tim could handle a little cold, but this one, he was going to be difficult.

“I’ll bring tissues, juice, cold medicine and cough drops. Look around your apartment, and text me anything else you need.”

“Ogay.”

“I’ll text you when I leave Sam and Ella’s.”

“Ogay.”

“Text me. Even if you don’t need anything.

“Ogay. Thangks.”

Freddie looked at the girls and shook his head. “Did I get anyone else?”

“Alex.” Sam told him.

“I don’t know if you got any of the crew.” Ella said. “But you took out the writing staff and the host. Alex had to write with us on Thursday.”

Freddie shook his head. “Guys, I am so sorry.”

“We know.” Sam said gently. “Ella’s just pissed about being sick again.” She turned and sneezed. “I’m going back to the couch.” She and Ella went back to the living room and curled up on the couch and oversized chair.

Freddie sat on the end of the couch with Sam, watching as her spaniel came running out of the bedroom to join her. Ava had gone in her bedroom when Freddie arrived; she was shy around new people.

As she jumped on the couch, Freddie turned his head and sneezed. “Uhhchushhh, Chushhh, huhhchushh.”

“Bless you. Sorry, I forgot, you’re allergic to dogs.” She picked Ava up and put her on the floor.

Freddie shook his head. “I’ve still got the cold.” He reminded her. “I’m allergic to cats, not dogs.”

“Oh, I thought that’s why you had the labradoodles, that you were allergic.”

“No. Well, yes. Well, kinda. I’m not allergic to dogs. Jamie is. That’s why.”

“Hichieww, ehhchieeew, ehh’chieew. Told you.” Ella sniffled. “ She worried about that this morning when I told her you were coming over. I said he gave us this cold, let him suffer.”

“Thanks, Ella. Love you too.” He said as his phone dinged. Text from Tim. One word: food.

“I better get to Tim. Knowing him, he has nothing. He just texted saying bring food, so…”

“Thank you.” Sam told him. “I don’t think I could go out and get anything today.”

Ella shook her head. “Me neither.”

“Hatshoo!” Another loud sneeze from Sam startled him.

“Bless you. Call you guys need anything.”

They assured him they would, and he assured they were warm and comfortable before he left to tend to Tim.

3. Tim

Freddie carried the box of groceries up to Tim’s apartment and pounded on the door.

Tim opened the door, red nosed and bleary eyed, hair standing on end. “Hey.” He snuffled, coughing roughly into his fist. He moved aside so Freddie could get in.

Freddie set the box on the kitchen table, handing out tissues for the third time that day.

“Thagk you. I rad out about ad hour ago.” Tim sniffled. He started helping Freddie unpack the box, then hastily grabbed for tissues and turned away. “HayAHHShoo, AHHHShoo, AHHHshoo.” He blew his nose and turned back to Freddie.

Freddie blinked at him. Tim would never be called a quiet sneezer, but his normal tone was somewhat above conversational level. These were just loud. “Bless you.” He managed.

Tim nodded at the blessing. “I dow. I dow. The doise scares the crap out of Cashew.

Freddie gave him a smile, pouring him a glass of orange juice. “Mine were harsh and violent.” He shrugged. Usually Freddie’s were soft and gentle, slightly harder on the ‘chushh.’

Tim shrugged, taking the juice. Freddie instructed him to sit while he put everything away and made soup. 30 minutes later, he had the cold supplies put away in the bathroom and a bowl of chicken dumpling soup in front of Tim.

“Eat.” He encouraged.

Tim started coughing instead. After a few moments, he got up and went into the bedroom, returning with his inhaler, shaking it. He managed to get a break in the coughing long enough for the first puff, let it out and coughed some more before the second puff. “Sorry.” He raspily apologized.

“No, I’m sorry for giving you this. Ella’s got the cough really bad too, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have asthma.” Working in close quarters meant they knew an awful lot about each other. “I didn’t even think about this hitting your lungs.”

Tim shrugged again. “Happeds about a third of the tibe. The worse the cold is, the better the odds. You picked a bad cold to share.” He grabbed a tissue from the box. “Hag od…”HuhhYUHHshooo, YUHHshoo, UHHHshoo….HeyYEHHHSshahh, EHHHSshahh, ESHAHH… huhhhRAHHHshooo, AHHSHOO, AYYYSHOO.” He turned back to Freddie and grabbed fresh tissues, “I’m sdeezing right through theb by the third.” He complained, grabbing a couple and blowing his nose. “But I dever rebeber to grab bore thad ode.” He complained, getting up to was his hands.

“What’s with the three sneezes?” Freddie asked. “I thought you always sneezed in twos.”

“Always.” Tim confirmed. “But this cold, ugh.” He went back and fished his soup. “This was great, thadks.”

“There’s more in the fridge for later,” Freddie let him know, helping him to the couch and tucking him in. “Movie?”

“Sure. Just pick sobethig off of Pribe; I’m sure I’ll fall back to sleep.”

Freddie found a comedy that required little attention from either of them and sat with Tim. He filled him in on how he had felt, how he was feeling now, how Sam and Ella were doing. While he was talking, Cashew had, it seemed, decided to overcome his fear of Tim’s newfound loud sneezes and see who was here.

He padded over to his former owner and bounced up into his lap. “No Cashew.” Fredddie said, brushing him down and rubbing his nose. Cashew placed his hands on Freddie’s knees and bounced right back up. “Cashew…Chushooo.” He pushed him down again and looked over at Tim.

Tim shook his head. “If you want him in the bedroom, dude, you gotta do it right now.

Freddie nodded as Cashew jumped up a third time. He picked the cat up, stood up and went and deposited the cat on Tim’s bed. “Uhhhchussh, uhhchushh, chuhshhh.” Tim could hear Freddie sneezing as he washed his hands. “Huhhhcuhissahh, uhhhchuhhshooo.” He came back and blew his nose. “I swear that cat remembers me.” He commented,

Tim nodded, coughing roughly. “I think he does.” Freddie had been Cashew’s previous owner wherein they discovered Freddie was allergic to cats. Tim has been more than happy to take him when Freddie couldn’t and had been his ever since. But that 2 weeks seemed to have made an impact on the kitten. He didn’t beeline for the also allergic Alex like he did for Freddie.

“Have you heard from Alex?” He asked Tim.

“Dot sidce Thursday. He’s sigk too.” Tim paused, wrapping his arm around his face. “HuuhYUHHHshuhh, YUHHHSHuhhh, UHHHSHEHH.” He rubbed his sleeve under his nose as Freddie handed him tissues.

“Bless you.” He waited for Tim to blow his nose. “I think you got the worst of the sneezing with this one.” At Tim’s quizzical look, he explained. “Loud, harsh, violent, frequent….you got it all. Unless Alex has added in some new element.” He half-joked.

Tim nodded. “Adyway, Alex cabe id sigk on Thursday with be ad Ella. Sab got sigk Weddesday.” He paused to blow his nose again. “I thik he probably wedt straight to bed ad is sleepig as buch as he cad trying to shake this. The kid cobes id toborrow dight.”

Shit. Freddie felt like scum now. He’d managed to give Alex the worst cold right before his daughter flew out. “Somehow, I doubt that will help.”

Tim nodded. “Let hib call you. He’ll probably call Jabie if he deeds help with Kristid if he’s this sick. Although if you’re feeling better…”

“Yeah. And I know Alyssa’s got him for what ever he needs.”

Tim coughed again and reached for his juice glass. “Thadks for all your help.”

“No problem. I’m sorry I got you sick.”

Tim shrugged. “Happeds. It’s dot your fault you’re always sick.”

Freddie pulled the blankets back up over Tim. “I’m gonna go let you rest now. Call if you need anything.”

Tim nodded, yawning, snuggling into the pillow as Freddie looked the door behind him.

[changji]

Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me

Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right

Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh

Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺

Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??

It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴

Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL

I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌

YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔

Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪

I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)

Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?

I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?

Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)

-

i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪

tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤

pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪

it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL

go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??

snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.

u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪

dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce

UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH

i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity

I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.

my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧

well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month

i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life

the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh

[thesimparrot]

Get to know me tag

I was tagged by the amazings @racingllama @sixamart and @notdaniella! 💕 thank you so much guys for thinking about me, you always make my day better :’) besides I’ve been trying to find a way back to this blog, it annoys me not to post anything... so here it is! and it also was a good excuse to show my new haircut huhu

RULES: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions!

I’d now like to tag @intricately-silly @purplebex @pollinationqueen @omiscanking @bleumimosa @mellowsimss @cakeiko @weirdsimfreak @pixel-whimsy @adrianaplays @lilacsimblr @amykii @xastraea @blurri-sim-kid @stephanine-sims @amessofsims @johnnyzest @gloomyplumbob @puddingplace and as always whoever wants to do it!

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Zoé

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Zo’

3. BIRTHDAY? July 28th

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? Harry Potter

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? I don’t think so, but in the dark I’ll believe in anything

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? Katherine Rundell atm

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? a french one called Rire & Chansons (literally Laugh and Songs)

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? mmmmm bergamot?

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? AMAZING

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Move Along by The All-American Rejects

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I’ve noticed I say “cool” a lot

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? No Light, No Light by Florence + The Machine

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? F.R.I.E.N.D.S.!!!!!

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? Ocean’s Eleven

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? hell yeah

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? people I love leaving me

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? loyalty, I think

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? ooof, too many of them

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? DOGS (i'm afraid of cats so….)

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? summer I think

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nope

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? insouciance

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? childhood ones

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? dark brown

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? dark brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? family and friends

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? family and friends

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? my older sister

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? I went to a book fair this afternoon!

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? right now, going back playing the sims huhu

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? The Totally Spies

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE?

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? I don’t think so?

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? I’m afraid of cats but try to learn not to be anymore

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? behind

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? reading and playing

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? Raymie Nightingale by Kate DiCamillo

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Princess Diaries

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? clarinet

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? 🐸

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? 5 spots are not enough!!

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? becoming a human torch

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? when I take my shower

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? puppies

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? I recently started rock climbing

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? tea

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? a looooong time ago

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? yes I think?

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? people who breathe loudly (but like, very loudly)

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? a few in fact, I think the last one was Queen of the Stone Age

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nope

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? when I was 6 I wanted to be a taekwondo teacher (for like a week)

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN?

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? everything

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? yes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yeup but sadly I don’t sing very well

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? if pretending to be sick count then yes

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? my bed

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? not near Paris anymore

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? sadly no but I have a panda bear called Casey

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? definitely an early bird. If I woke up after 9 am on a day off I feel like my day has already been wasted

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunrise

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? I do have my licence but if I can avoid using it….

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nope

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? pop-rock

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Shadowcat

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? YEEEEES

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? a lot of things, in top of the list right now are impolite people

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real books!

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? my cinema class in high school

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? one sister, 10 years older than me

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? a book (well, two actually)

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 154cm (I’m smoll)

75. CAN YOU COOK? still debating

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? playing, going to the movie, eating chocolate

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? not knowing what comes next, being sick, being upset over dumb things

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? female

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? straight

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? near Paris, France

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? if tumblr i.m. count as texted then it’s Ale from @sixamart

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? this morning

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? he’s not really a youtuber but I thought immediately about a french streamer called Mister MV

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? nope

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? pinterest

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? I’m really close to my mum she’s one of my best friend, my dad is a more reserved person but we got along pretty well too

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? british

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Sweden

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? don’t have one

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? nope

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? outer space

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? hell no, I’m a big coward

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? some kind of makeup (or my face will turn into a moon fish)

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yes

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when I will be, I’ll let you know (I’m a very funny person)

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU?  “when I’m upset about something, I pause for a minute and take the time to ask myself if it’s worse the trouble. Most of the time it’s not, so I move on.”

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? nope

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Hufflepuff and proud

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? waaay too much

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? it really depends on the situation

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? I used to but it was too depressive so I stopped

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? yes

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? leave it where it is probably (I’m a coward, remember?)

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? kind of

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? ooooh yes

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? nope

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? I really don’t know

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? nope

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? searching for work right after my three years of “university” (despite my mom’s wish to go on on the studies)

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? hell yeah but I doubt karma believe in me

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? don’t know yet

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? a childhood friend

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? oh yeah I remember

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? I’ve tried but never succeed

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? blue or yellow

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? not really

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? nope

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 23

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “I'm not great at the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” (Chandler Bing, F.R.I.E.N.D.S.)

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? sweeeeeeeet

[nxsuper]

i see much person in this month tell their life or just feel depressed so guys i want show my life today .....is time for vent a little for me to ...with bad draw

so my young age 4-15 all i remind was my home because when i was young, all day  all time i was at home alone until the 8 pm with 2 hour random of my mother return from work  , sometime my bis auntie came down and check me not all day but that was the best moment of the day, be sick was a big problem all time alone with high fever ,,,pain with no medicine because i was alone and nobody leave a kid with medicine. why i was alone? work work work ... my father say we need to work because your mother spend bad and to much, my mother say  for live we need money but..... we never exit we never do something how we was low money all time? and why tell a 6 year old kids about money.....for that i never exit with friend because who let go a 6 year kids outside alone...and for that after 14, i try to don’t exit much for don’t ask money probably i spend money only for game ...l’ve to do something at home.

well isn’t all true.  the week end i go in my granparent house and well nothing:we eat and laugh, next they watch football and race but... i don’t like them so i just sleep waiting or walking in circle after that they go hunt when is open and leave me with my aunties and my  granny. my granny is on  a wheelchair and she can’t walk much so i’ve to take care of her clear the floor and ...work...until night when i can return home with my father

the other thing i do was watching the t.v and let a friend use the p.c but i know he was use me but i don’t really care better than stay alone at home and  ...yes he was using me for the p.c but we do much funny thing together....video some video game and more  but when we was bored we just stay at the p.c at turn---like 60% him 40%  me.

the 2 different thing was the water park for 2 time in the summer in 2 different year we go 1 day at the waterpark  but  like other place i want to do thing and my parents cousin another so i was alone 60% of time...in the high water to for my luck i’m a great swimmer.

the other place was the sea.  a little house in the forest on isola dell’elba ....that was a miracle 7 day of:  play , fishing and walk with my father and mother....that is the only place i love remind. i was alone sometime but 10%  of time a very short time and the person near us was so funny and we talk a lot !!.

last year there my mother refuse to go because they was divorcing so i go alone with my father and was amazing! last day i see a start fall for my eyes was big like a house...never see a star/meteor so big  ....i was  a little scary but in some second he got destroyed in the shy....ok i was more than scared...much more !...

....now the school:  bullies from  the other kids....from a prof to....and my health was low so i was much sick...very low...... sometime my mother force me to stay home because rain ..snow ecc... wtf.....i never understand that....sometime she say: you just go for scald the desk and was true nobody care if i’ve high vote or low, nobody care if i was there or not but i never jump school or take a note...       how is end.... before go to psy i was emotion less nothing touch me nothing make me happy nothing to feel nothing for the future only a black void in my mind. ...

after i hit 18 my father  and mother have a fight and divorce or they are near do this now.  so i’ve to take care of my mother cry all day, my father with excuse for try to do not be hated but i was only angry not with him but my mother for cry all day. they keep say: in a divorce who take the bad part is the child....but they  just ask me  ...are you fine? and nothing i don’t feel nothing....they keep split poison and i take both stress.....i’ve to take care of my granny all time she need something she call me because my work place is under the house and her caregiver  do only half day, if she need to go to the bathroom call me, move call me, need to dress brrr call me if she have problem cry or other is my turn isn’t so easy and i do this from my 16 year all day....... at 15 i got a sick called tiroidite(for italian) and i was near the dead.... 2 month with the thing: i’m going better? i’m not in danger right?? why my bones feel like breaking!...why hurt so much only walk?  why?....and after that they discover i’ve a hearth problem but after some month and a day where my heart hurt all day ....i was scared to die that day.... they say i was healed but from that day i’m tired....tired all day all time......i don’t know why ...i’m just tired.

plus they discover after 19 year of my life i’ve a problem and without glass my head start spin and hurt ..19 YEAR AND 4 EYES CONTROL.. i pass all my school with headache and  vomit for that... 

3 year for heal because for 1 year they give me a medicine  but i was allergic and they havent see that .....the excuse?  is the protocol......

at 18-19 year i got a “ depression” they call that.... after a vaccine, i start breath bad.. .. the fear got me again ...fear to don’t wave up....fear to don’t breath...they say is depression and stress and give me medicine for help me ....4 month in my bed unable to move just the force for go to the bathroom.....  can’t play game or get excited because a little more of emotion and my breath stop......

girl:  i exit with 3 girl in my life but nothing happen they say:  you are to slow i find another one but when they break because him is annoyed they came to me again......so i try to make them feel better for 1 day and puff vanish again sigh ..

friend’? i’ve 4 friend now and they call me 1 time on 3 month ...

divorce: i’ve to wait now i’m so tired of this so i stop  care about that

health problem:  i’ve to check my blood for be sure the sick don’t return,  my head hurt all day because without glass i spin with my head hurt,  my leg i need  plantar because i’ve a little deformation without i don’t walk much, my hand shake random ...side effect of tiroidite and  i’ve friable teeth so they break easy ...i go to the dentist like 9 time on 6 month ...and yeah side-effect of the medicine ...was acid literally.

and this is my life !

..now i’ve the fear to change house but i don’t feel nothing now  about that is just a house....i can’t find work because i’vent finish school...i work with my father for 1$ for hour ...yep..... the fun is i give some money to my mother because she have a boyfriend ...the fun he ask money to .....they both work but they don’t have money ....but get in the trash money for shit....I’VENT EXIT WITH FRIEND FOR 10 YEAR FOR DON’T WASTE MONEY...I’VENT BUY NOTHING IN MY LIFE FOR DONT WASTE THEM....I’M SO FUKING TIRED....in this last month..i give up i don’t care anymore i’m spending a lot of money for ... commission  and i’m so happy of that for one time in my life i’m doing something for me and this week i go to lucca with my money and buy all i want and i  don’t care anymore ! .....

so guys this was my life isn’t so bad right?   i’m a positive person if you see i never hurt nobody cut myself or cry all this time ...well 1 time when my father say i leave but was normal.... so guys the life is hard so don’t give up for small thing ! and don’t end your life or hurt yourself, i do all this story just for say this 

[verytamenow]

all of them!

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? - 5′8″ to 5′10″2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) - I can barely take care of myself3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? - I’ve got a thing for a good suit but I live in tees/polos and jeans4: What was your favorite video game growing up? - Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. It still is5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: At the current moment, we’re all thinking of Taylor constantly6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? - It’d be so long, dude.7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? - Didn’t give me a topic mate8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] - Melancholic9: Are you ticklish? - Very10: Are you allergic to anything? - Nope11: What’s your sexuality? - Too gay to function12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? - Cocoa! Always!13: Are you a cat or dog person? - Cats14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? - Even not wanting to be immortal, Vampire is the best option15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? - Miniladd16: How tall are you?- 5′5″17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? - Something gender neutral or something else that starts with Z18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] - Too much19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? - Not really20: Do you like space or the ocean more? - The ocean21: Are you religious? - No22: Pet peeves? - People who don’t know they’re order in a drive thru23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? - I’d be at least a little more functional if I were diurnal but I’m nocturnal so24: Favorite constellation? Orion, though I’m not into astronomy25: Favorite star? - Sirius I guess26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? - I don’t like dools27: Any phobias or fears? - Spiders. I don’t like heights either.28: Do you think global warming is real? - Yes29: Do you believe in reincarnation? - I’m open to the concept30: Favorite movie? - This was asked below31: Do you get scared easily? - I’ve got a strong startle response that probably makes it seem worse than it is32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? - 1 rabbit, a few fish, and two hermit crabs33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] - You asked on anon, mate34: What is a color that calms you? - Blue35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? - I’d like to live by the water or in London but will settle for a decent house here. I’d like to travel pretty much everywhere36: Where were you born? - SoCal (which is the best Cal)37: What is your eye color? - Blue38: Introvert or extrovert? - Introvert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? - No but they’re interesting and entertaining concepts40: Hugs or kisses?- Hugs by default41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? - Taylor so I could ask her what the fuck. Or go down to Florida and see Cole and Kristen.42: Who is someone you love deeply? - My dad and my best friend43: Any piercings you want? - None at the moment44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? - I’d hope so given the state of my left forearm45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? - No and I have no plans to.46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! - I’m crush free47: What is a sound you really hate? - High pitched electronic sounds or anything like nails on a chalkboard48: A sound you really love? - The sound of rain49: Can you do a backflip? - No50: Can you do the splits? - No51: Favorite actor and/or actress? - Gillian Anderson52: Favorite movie? - Alien or Silence of the Lambs53: How are you feeling right now? - Tired54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? - I like the current colour but if I had to change it, maybe blue?55: When did you feel happiest? - When I’m sleeping56: Something that calms you down? - the sound of rain57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] - Depression, anxiety, autism.58: What does your URL mean? - That I couldn’t come up with anything decent or fandom related that wasn’t already taken59: What three words describe you the most? - No idea. Tired is one of them. 

“Kinky, gay, entertaining” - @knitsweatersyo

60: Do you believe in evolution? - Yes61: What makes you unfollow a blog? - Bad content or reblogging those posts where Taylor is tagged 12000 times.62: What makes you follow a blog? - Quality content and them being on my dash or someone recommending them.63: Favorite kind of person: Anyone I click with really64: Favorite animal(s): Wolves65: Name three of your favorite blogs.- @knitsweatersyo​, @georgiastars​, @Taylor (Sorry Karlie!)66: Favorite emoticon:👀67: Favorite meme:Sometimes Things That Are Expensive Are Worse68: What is your MBTI personality type? - INTP69: What is your star sign? - Gemini70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?- I do not have a dog. (Though with the number of photos I get of Waldo....)71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? - Not sure I have a favourite72: Post a selfie or two? - check the My Face tag73: Do you have platform shoes? - No74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? - I’m not that interesting. I live in Sin City but I don’t drink, smoke, or gamble.75: Can you do a front flip? - No76: Do you like birds? - Kind of77: Do you like to swim? - I’m not particularly good at it but I live in the desert so a pool is always a good thing78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? - Swimming79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Our current political situation.80: Some thing you wish did exist: Me having the ability to function. Or a gift of $1 million.81: Piercings you have? - None82: Something you really enjoy doing: Writing.83: Favorite person to talk to: @knitsweatersyo​84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? - “I’m just going to join and casually lurk the fandom but I won’t get involved.”85: How many followers do you have? - 186786: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? - Probably not87: Do your socks always match? - Usually88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? - Haven’t tried in a while but it’s safe to assume no89: What are your birthstones? - Pearls and Alexandrite90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? - A wolf maybe?91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? - Not a big fan of flowers so idk. Maybe given where I live and how personable I am, some sort of cactus?92: A store you hate? - Record stores because they want to make me spend all my money93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? - 094: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? - Read minds, but I also feel like Flying is a healthier option for me95: Do you like to wear camo? - Not since I was 1296: Winter or summer? - Winter97: How long can you hold your breath for? - Not that long. 98: Least favorite person? - So many people.99: Someone you look up to: Taylor?100: A store you love? - Record stores101: Favorite type of shoes - Boots or Trainers102: Where do you live? - Middle of the fucking desert103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? - Nope104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? - Not really. Some of them look cool but that’s about it.105: Do you drink milk? - Yes.106: Do you like bugs? - Nope.107: Do you like spiders? - Fuck no.108: Something you get paranoid about? - I have anxiety.109: Can you draw: No110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? - There’ve been a few but I can’t think of any111: A question you hate being asked? - “have you considered going back to college?”112: Ever been bitten by a spider? - Once I think113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? - Yes114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? - Cloudy115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: - My future wife wherever the fuck she is.116: Favorite cloud type: - Cumulonimbus117: What color do you wish the sky was? - I’m pretty content with it being blue118: Do you have freckles?- a few here and there.119: Favorite thing about a person: I’m guessing personality isn’t a good answer here so I’ll go with their laugh.120: Fruits or vegetables? - Veggies!!121: Something you want to do right now: Sleep122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? - The sky usually but I MISS the ocean123: Sweet or sour foods? - Sweet124: Bright or dim lights? - Dim125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? - Nope126: Something you hate about Tumblr: It’s toxic culture127: Something you love about Tumblr: How easy it is to keep up with your interests128: What do you think about the least? - Obviously whatever I can’t think to list.129: What would you want written on your tombstone? - I don’t want a tombstone.130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? - So many republicans.131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? - My ability to write132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? - No133: Computer or TV? - Computer134: Do you like roller coasters? - Some of them135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? - I get motion sick in the right conditions136: Are your ears lobed or attached? - Lobed137: Do you believe in karma? - Yes138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? - Negative three139: What nicknames do you have/have had? - I don’t really have any?140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? - I was an only child in a neighborhood without kids at that age so likely141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? - Yep142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? - Neutral probably but maybe a bad influence? Idk.143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? - I suck at picking out gifts tbh144: What makes you angry - Our current political situation145: How many languages do you speak fluently? - 1, and not even coherently half the time146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? - Girls147: Are you androgynous? - Not quite but it might be close148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: My eyes149: Favorite thing about your personality: I’m not as annoying as I could be?150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. - Taylor so, again, I can ask her what the fuck. Ed Sheeran because he seems to suck at keeping secrets. Whoever the fuck has the lotto numbers.151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? - I’d much rather go forward.152: Do you like BuzzFeed? - It’s a good way to kill time.153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] - I’m single154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? - No. I’m not very touchy feely.155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? - I don’t invade personal space like that (and yet i love to have mine played with)156: What embarrasses you? - My dad telling childhood stories of me157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: Again, I have anxiety.158: Biggest lie you have ever told: I’m straight.159: How many people are you following? - 679160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? - 74628161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? - 0162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? - 142,878163: Last time you cried and why: - I cried from laughter the other night if that counts over a broom conversation. Other than that it was probably because my muse was being angsty.164: Do you have long or short hair? - Short165: Longest your hair has ever been: It used to be well past my shoulders166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? - I dislike organized religion but respect spirituality.167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? - Not in particular. It’s interesting to speculate about but there’s other shit I’d prefer science focus on.168: Do you like to wear makeup? - I don’t OWN makeup.169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? - Probably not170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? - Yep

[choiminhovevo]

hehe

who’s messier? Paige, unfortunately. Artists are always messy, but once they gets a cleaning bug she can be neat as Minho

do they fight often? If an argument between the two gets out of hand Paige says “let’s settle this argument with Mortal Kombat” and Minho agrees. They’ve only argued maybe twice.

who’s the funnier drunk? Paige probably. Minho controls his alcohol well and Paige is a social drinker- one wine cooler and we’re done, but two wine coolers and they’re talking about electric forks and putting salt grains on spoons for shits and giggles and everything sounds stupid.

who’s uncomfortable with PDA and who loves it? Both hate pda don’t hold hands it makes you gay.

who texts more often? Minho texts a lot. Paige writes letters.

big spoon/little spoon? Minho wants to spoon Paige but Paige hates being touched, especially when they’re sleeping. They’d rather jetpack their tall princeling.

who made the 1st move? Minho, surprisingly. Paige didn’t hide their affections for Minho, but they were just affections, nothing more, did not want to act on them because rejection = instakill. When Minho reciprocated said feelings Paige freaked like any sensible shoujo manga protagonist would and it took two volumes for them to be like “okay my shortcomings compared to your flawlessness isn’t so bad so I guess we could date.”

any nicknames? Paige calls Minho “my sun and stars,” in Dothraki. It took Minho a good six months and three watches of Game of Thrones for him to realize that oh shit they’ve been calling me this all this time?!! And the boy heart-eyes at the thought. He calls them dearest and it takes all their willpower not to roll around on the floor and squeal.

the most embarrassing music on their phone? Minho has Top 40 on his phone and Paige has an amalgam of broadway hits, Asian pop, Bengali music and Techno music. Putting their music on shuffle during long road trips is a hoot. Minho can’t deal.

what’s “their song”? In their circle of friends Paige will insist “Amerikkaz Most Wanted” by Tupac and Snoop Dogg is their song, but truthfully it’s BoA’s “Romance”.

who reads more? Minho reads just as much as Paige, but Paige has the extensive book collection and always reads the longer, “difficult” books just for the hell of it.

who remembers anniversaries? They both do; Minho is sentimental and so is Paige (but they won’t admit it). Paige has a photographic memory and remembers everything.

who is better with kids? Minho; Paige is terrified of kids, but they like them for some reason so they are patient with them as they teach them languages and useless facts. (“hey did you know that kangaroos can’t jump backwards?”)

who tops/bottoms? Paige called bottom bunk (“but I gotta pee more at night!” Minho whines. “You get top bunk,” Paige growls, booting up Mortal Kombat X on the PS4)

what’s their favorite activity? Playing games together, traveling, playing soccer, swimming, having eating contests...

weirdest hobbies? Minho watches Ron Perlman montages on YouTube sometimes...

who would make a blanket fort? would the other help? Paige makes blanket forts (“I am a fearsome dragon and I am required a cave of my choosing.” “Paige there are no caves in Seoul.” “So this blanket fort will suffice, homie.”) Minho asks if he can come in and Paige cheerfully says yes you may, and thereby declares their dragon hoard as cute soccer boys named Minho.

who cooks? Paige. Minho can cook, but he’s busier than Paige and Paige is honestly better because if it were up to Minho it would be kimchi jjigae and ramyun mostly. Should Paige cook they don’t have the same recipe every week; sometimes they’ll do themed weeks. Just no Mexican (“but I like Mexican food!” Minho whines. “I’m sick of it, plus it gives you the Hershey squirts.” “Lies and slander!”)

how do they eat ice cream? what’s their favorite flavors? They put the ice cream in their mouth and they eat it…? Paige is allergic to ice cream and eats lime sorbet while Minho likes strawberry and vanilla.

who said “i love you” first? Believe it or not, Paige did. And Minho’s brain rebooted and he stumbled over the words as he said “hey I love you too champ.” and Paige’s brain is still short-circuiting to this day.

do they go on dates? what are they like? When Minho has free time and doesn’t want to play video games with Paige they go out to dinner, go to the aquarium, go book shopping to add to their burgeoning collection (“I just can’t help myself I need books!” Paige cries. “In a few short years we’re gonna be on Hoarders, aren’t we?”) They’re very quiet and don’t draw attention to themselves because there are fans about

Christmas traditions? They wear ugly Christmas sweaters and Paige speaks a lot of German, and they bake a lot of goodies from America that Minho hasn’t heard of.

do they go trick or treating? who stays home and hands out the candy? No one trick or treats in Seoul; kids don’t go wandering in the city like that, but they do go to costume parties. Paige brings in Halloween-themed treats and they engage in spooky tomfoolery with the other members of SHINee.

do they stargaze? Expand. Stargazing is difficult in Seoul, so when they go on their rare Jeju trip, they go to the most remote part of the island, where the only light is from the fishing boats. Paige didn’t major in astronomy and Minho isn’t familiar with constellations but they like to look up at the night sky and love the atmosphere. Almost always, Paige will start to sing the Discovery Channel’s “The World is Awesome” song and Minho always has to shut them up. Do they listen? Fuck no.

who’s the laziest? Paige! Shamelessly! Minho doesn’t complain because they pull their own weight and knows that their job requires that they do a lot and when they wants to do nothing, they will do nothing, Lord willing.

who complains more? Paige doesn’t like to complain; they internalizes their strife. Minho rarely complains.

who wakes up earlier? Paige naturally gets up at 6 am and hates it. If it were up to them they’d sleep in with Minho. Minho has to get up early for flights to other countries but he wants to sleep in with Paige.

who’s more protective? Minho is the feudal lord and Paige is the handmaiden.

who gets jealous easily? Minho. His middle name is Jealousy. Paige finds it amusing, but doesn’t purposefully get into situations where his jealousy may spike. Sometimes they call him “Eifersuchtig Honeypot” and he scowls at them.

how do they cuddle? when and where? They cuddle on the couch, under a snuggie, after a long day of dance practice and translation work and art and Minho is nursing a beer and Paige is watching Funhaus.

how did they meet? Christianmingles.com Paige was wandering around the restaurants by Konkuk and stumbled into a dumpling and ramyun shop. They were eating alone and Minho was there with Jinki and some friends from TV. Minho was lamenting about how he missed the food in America and how he would like to visit the other states (“I like Texas, it’s a shame I’m never there for more than 48 hours”) and Paige is like Texas? I’m from there! And them can’t help themselves and butts into the conversation, telling them about their family in Texas and all the pros and cons of America. Normally idols are tired and don’t want to engage in public, and Paige felt bad about that, but Minho and Jinki noticed that they didn’t act like a fan and didn’t invade their space like a fan, but as a person just casually overhearing their conversation. So they talk, and are happy that they know Korean. They both try to converse in English and Paige freaks and starts speaking in German (“I have no clue what you’re saying now????”) Jinki is flummoxed but Minho is intrigued and asks the ol’ “hey do you know kpop?” question and Paige deadpans “oh boy I do.” their dry and abrasive wit is enough to make Minho laugh and open up to them easily and offers to show them around Konkuk, since they are a teacher at the Konkuk middle school. And the rest is history.

what do they smell when they smell amorentia? The fuck is this.

what lockscreens do they have? Minho has a group selca of SHINee celebrating Paige’s birthday, and Paige has a photo of Minho napping and they put a bow on his head.

how many emojis do they use and which ones? Paige keeps forgetting that emojis are a thing and Minho uses emoticons like it’s 2011.

who throws ill-advised parties? Should Taemin visit Paige’s apartment for nefarious reasons he ropes them into throwing parties where it’s nothing but Achievement Hunter playing in the background and nonstop Cards Against Humanity and Million Dollars, But… and that they get to make snacks and regales the party in their wild stories of their travels. Also it devolves into a Minho roasting session. Paige is always down for it.

who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back? Minho because Paige never locks their phone. What he doesn’t know is that Paige always has their phone on vibrate. The joke backfires. (note: the phone is Ouran High School Host Club’s opening theme and when Paige finds out they’re pissed and go to put their phone on sound)

lick-claiming. who does it? is the other deterred? Minho, believe it or not. (“Choi we have kissed at least five times your cooties are now my cooties.” Paige takes the cookie, stares into Minho’s eyes, and bites into it with passion. Minho fumes)

who glitterizes everything? Paige! Loves glitter and would have it in every inch of the apartment if they could.

who is obsessed with HSM? Minho and Paige is like “love is dead”

who draws sharpie dicks on the other when they get blackout drunk? Minho was blackout drunk once and Paige didn’t put dicks on his face (“his face is perfect I’m not gonna mar it”) but they do take his phone and put the meatspin on all his phone tabs. Minho was displeased.

who uses chopsticks/can either of them use chopsticks? Both use chopsticks, but Paige is left-handed and holds chopsticks funny and Minho calls them out on it. (“How the fuck you expect me to eat these noodles, son?!”)

when they can’t sleep what do they do? Paige takes heavy amounts of melatonin to sleep, but it rarely works so they lie there talking about their desires to travel and what they’re gonna eat the next day.

what order do they wash themselves in the shower? They both wash anywhere and everywhere; showers are for cleaning you heathen.

who impulse buys? Paige, but mainly impulse buys food and snacks.

who’s clumsier? Paige is the Lad of Stubbed Toes and who the fuck put this banana peel here? Gotta step on it? Step on it? Why? You gotta.

what are their coffee orders? Minho likes Americano with a pump of vanilla syrup, Paige likes earl grey tea with inordinate amounts of sugar.

what apps do they have? Minho has the same apps as Paige except for Pinterest, Google Docs, Netflix, and Twitter. He has sports apps and an English vocabulary app for him to practice. Paige has translator apps and Google Docs.

what are their favorite TV shows? Both like watching old school anime and nature documentaries. Paige watches travel programs and Minho watches sports

[szopenhauer]

why aren’t you with your first love? my first female crush was hetero

were you sad when you heard about michael jackson’s death? no have you ever kissed an ex after you broke up? because we’re together again lol how long could you go without cursing? not long if I’m around people :x did anything annoy you today? mostly my computer and thunderstorm  have you consumed alcohol in the past 24 hours? I don’t drink so obviously not have you ever kissed someone who’s last name started with an b? no what were you doing at 8am this morning? sleeping if you were kicked out of your house, where would you go first? I would try grandma and my gf probably maybe my sister? if none of those options would work then I’d be homeless what will you be doing in 3 hours? hopefully sleeping is tomorrow gonna be a good day? what are you going to do? doubt it, nothing much are you satisfied with your life as of now? am not are any of your friends taller than you? of course, I’m very short have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy? shitload of times who was the last person you took a picture with? my dad or my gf do you wear a belt with every pair of jeans? I don’t wear jeans or belts  where did you get the shirt you are wearing? got it from my sister as a gift the last two people you kissed, are they virgins? I only kissed one person in my entire life and that’s personal describe how you feel right now in one word? bad anybody tell you they miss you lately? my gf made a post about it if that counts  are you closer to your father or mother? my dad what’s your relationship with the person you talked to last? she’s my mom do you say sorry first? often did you speak to your father today? yeah, like every day what locker number is yours? I never had a locker do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? my bed is too small to have sides do you prefer an ocean or a pool? pool, ocean is more scary do you shut off the water when you brush your teeth? yup do you sleep with your closet door opened or closed? my wardrobe is always closed are you capable of holding down a long-term relationship? we’ll see is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? at least my father if your best friend made out with your boyfriend/ girlfriend, what would you do? my father? with my gf?... what is bothering you right now? ugh... do you think someone is thinking about you right now? sure do you like when people play with your hair? I don’t care much  do you miss how things use to be with someone? absolutely

how are you doing today? sigh... sex ruins relationships, right? could say so

do you think it’s a bunch of bull shit when people say “i have no regrets”? I hate this kind of ppl, stay away! who got you the jewelry you’re wearing? I’m not wearing any jewelry atm do you get scared during scary movies? I usually get grossed out  how do you feel right now? *shrug* is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now? I’m fine being alone  do you like hugs? depends two days from today, where will you be? either home or or hospital... or dead are relationships ever really worth it? time will show do you miss your past? badly is the last person you kissed older than you? nope, almost 2 months younger what color shirt are you wearing? black and white stripes with a cat shaped UFO and a pug what do you currently hear right now? nothing, I can’t listen to music anymore because my mom is asleep and I don’t want to use my headphones  what are you planning on doing after this? maybe another survey

are you gonna be home tonight? yup, unless smth bad will happen then I will go to ER - you never know  name the first person you can think of that you know that has a tattoo? I’ve been talking about it today lmfao W. and S. had tattoos do you slam doors when you’re mad? might  is your room messy or clean? organized mess do you tell your best friend everything? it’s not possible but I try my best do you think anyone has feelings for you? it seems did your last kiss take place on a bed? I don’t think so are you someone’s best friend? one of best friends, not the only one have you kissed anyone whose name starts with a z? my name starts with z

when you take surveys, are your answers inspired by the person’s before you? I basically never read their answers, can happen accidentally but it doesn’t change anything

are you a “fan” of a lot of things on facebook? been on my old account, that was one of the reasons I created new profile, the only thing I regret about that fact is losing my Criminal case progress :(

have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via. twitter? Grimes 

do you like croissants? noooo

do you get a lot of traffic outside your house or not? nah what does the last jacket you wore look like? blue plaid with grey hood, buttons and pockets

do you eat cereal bars? tried some in the past

are you on any prescribed medication? can’t take any meds currently 

how often do you change your bedsheets? rarely because I’m allergic to most of detergents and then I have ever bigger problems with sleeping 

if you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? if you have, do you like it? just a little

do you know how to look after yourself away from home? (budget, pay pills, feed yourself, cook, clean, do laundry etc.) not everything, I need to learn some stuff yet

do you drink a lot of juice? nope

what would you do if you found an abandoned baby on your doorstep, with a note asking you to keep it and take care of it? it’s illegal...

how many times have you moved in your life so far? 0

do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? what is it? I bath my shoulders first (unless I wash my hair then my head goes first)

is there anything that you loved a year ago but just can’t stand now? food mostly

what do you do when people give you mixed messages? I try to find out the truth 

would you ever eat kangaroo steak? ewww, hell no

is there a chalkboard or whiteboard anywhere in your house? I hate chalkboards, I have magnetic board tho

do you like dried fruit at all? what’s your favorite type? meh

how many times have you been to the ER? at least 3 times how has this past week been for you? complicated

when a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go? walks out HOW and WHY?  what do people think about you that isn’t true? long story, dunno where should I even start, plenty of gossips to mention what do you think about internet best friends? why not? how many months until your birthday? half a year does it bother you when your friends bring up your past mistakes? I do that myself but at times it doesn’t make me laugh but hurts me if the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose? summer? if somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to tell you? I’m taken so if we’re not talking about my partner then I don’t think someone should tell me that  when was the last time you cried really hard? yesterday, today only slightly and just once could you go out in public looking like you do now? yes last person you gave something to? parents do you believe that if you want something bad enough you’ll get it? pfft honestly, has anyone ever seen you in your underwear? well I was in hospitals, been visiting many doctors, went to school where we had PE, have a family and am in a relationship etc etc etc would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? that doesn’t really help  when’s the next time you will kiss somebody? not soon, second half of the next month? how’s your heart lately? physically or emotionally? are you a jealous person? a bit do you wear the hood on your hoodie? sometimes can you successfully blow up and tie a balloon? doubt it where’s the weirdest place you’ve changed clothes? not sure which place was the weirdest what are you doing next week? no plans what was the first thing you thought this morning? I was thinking about my dream (me and some strangers were in an abandoned factory of some sort and there were dragons chasing us but I was escaping and even saved a little girl) would you rather have your nose or tongue pierced? nose ever stayed up all night on the phone? not whole night has the last person you kissed ever been mad at you? she was indeed does someone call and talk to you every night before you go to sleep? luckily not has the last person you kissed seen you cry? few times did anyone see your last kiss? we were one on one have you ever kissed someone who was high? I haven’t do you want to please everyone? no way, it’s not possible anyway anything interesting happen this week? mostly interesting bad

do you still talk to the person you last kissed? in general because at this very moment they’re busy would you kiss the last person you kissed again? we're going to  what does that person look like? tall, curly hair, glasses, black clothes  have you dated someone who wasn’t good to you? not that I deserve anything good but... would you ever cut your hair 6 inches shorter than it is now? I would be bald :o when was the last time it rained? today last person you cuddled with dies, are you sad? omg

have you ever helped a blind/visually impaired person to cross the road? there was no occassion

have you ever had a letter get lost in the mail, only to receive it months/years later? I sent a letter to my (now ex) friend and she never received it because someone stolen it 

do you ever feel disconnected from everyone around you? kinda

have you ever had a stalker? more than once

have you ever had to look after someone’s pet when they were away on holiday? sorta

do you know anyone who works as an air hostess? someone I know wants to work as an air hostess but she’s studying 

have you ever found something in your home which belonged to a previous owner? there was no previous owner

^ even if you haven’t, what would you do if you did? would you try and find the original owner? no idea

do you (or does anyone you know) tend to exaggerate any sign of sickness? looks like it

have you ever owned a pet goldfish? no fish, ever

were you ever bullied in primary school? not only primary

have you ever been into any kind of sex shop? online ones count?

when you go to church, do you light a candle for anyone? there were those coin turned on lamp candles in Ełk that I loved but they’re gone

are you/or is anyone you know a really good painter? no one is that good

would you be more inclined to give money to homeless people who play music as opposed to just sitting and begging? that’s true

have you ever traveled by train? if so, do you do it often? at least once a year 

have you ever been diagnosed with any kind of heart condition? when I was born

are you homeschooled? if you went to regular highschool, do you think you’d have liked being taught at home? wish I was homeschooled

is one of your parents very much into diy? my mom likes diy but not obsessively

do you know of anyone who is/has been in a coma? -

do you like skimming stones? I suck at it

would you ever want to work in cafe, even if only temporarily? not even temporarily

how much would you to do to get back something which contained your most treasured memories? damn

do you know anyone who is afraid of butterflies? I heard K. is

have you ever been inside a lighthouse? I don’t recall  do you have any money from different countries other than your own? several coins if you already have your license, how did you feel on the day of your test? I don’t have my license  do you care if you buy things that are ‘made in china’ or not?  I avoid buying some specific items that were made in china  would you rather swim in the pool or play in a sprinkler? none, am against sprinklers actually  if you get your pictures developed, or if you have in the past, do you keep the negatives or just throw them away? my mom kept them 

where were you 2 hours ago? home

are you wearing socks right now? almost always

have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? not since high school  who was the last person to hear you cry? more like saw that I cried/want to cry, not hear have you bought any clothing items in the last week? mother bought a crop top for me this day one thing you hate about yourself? can’t choose one, there’s more what are your plans for the day? day is over did you have fun today? moment  what do you know about the future? that I’ll die someday as every other human being do you have a tan? honey skin is my tan during summer how old do you want to be when you have kids? I don’t want to have any kids! how do you like your soda? I don’t drink soda  who was the last person to make you cry? myself? what day is tomorrow? Friday have you ever worn red lipstick? it was the only one I ever used

do you know who bonnie and clyde are? remind me of Sara

are you christian? I am 

if so, have you ever read the entire bible? I guess

are you generally attracted to more outgoing and loud people or quiet and mysterious people? smth in between

have you ever cried because you couldn’t be with someone? that was dumb of me

could you ever see yourself going to those college parties, getting drunk, fucking some random person and getting an std? u can apparently get std without parties, drinking and sex

don’t you hate it when things are amazing in other people’s lives and you’re stuck in a hole? very

do you have problems with one - or both - of your parents? with one of them way more

do you sleep a lot? barely

do you like drinking water? whatever

have you ever been to a funeral? 1 

do you like writing? when I have smth to write about

are you doing/did you do good in school? got worse with time

do you think moths are bad luck? whaaat? but they’re so pretty! :o

or do you not believe in supersitious stuff? I believe in some superstitions but like five of them or smth

will you date someone that’s not your race? I believe

i hope you aren’t racist… are you? am I? :(

have you ever made yourself throw up? disgusting, not able to do that

do you think you exercise enough? I don’t exercise 

have you ever pierced something on your body, yourself? I’m not stupid

Have you ever listened to the same song on repeat for hours on end? that happened  Do you like staying in hotels? hmm... Are musicals interesting or boring? annoying, besides Cats What is your favorite scent of incense? I don’t burn it

Can you tune a guitar by ear or do you need a tuner? need a tuner Do you like love songs? oh well...

Don’t you hate it when your eyes burn? it’s awful, got that problem last weeks Have you ever sex texted? I’ve sexted 

Would you know who to talk to if you wanted weed? but I don’t want it Have you ever worn leather? fake What is your greatest fear? personal If you could kiss anyone right now, who would it be? my gf What perfume do you wear? none, I hate perfumes Do you smell good right now? I don’t think so What is your favorite energy drink? never tried any and don’t want to

[diaryofanalcoholicsdaughter-blog]

Back home and (not) dealing with it

The entire year after my mom passed away I went through intervals of being fine and then dumping all me emotions onto people. Friends, co-workers, random people I met. Once I got started it all came out and I'd cry and cry and cry then I'd be 'fine' again. It was horrific for me a person who could talk a lot of shit and listen for hours about my friends shitty lives or situations but to throw my own hurts out there was new. In twenty five years I'd never done that. Hinted at yeah made jokes about sure but just let it all out? Not fucking way. It was also the first time I realized though I'd been several of my 'friends' emotional support and sounding board they hadn't the foggest clue on how to deal with me being the emotional one. I laughed off a lot of stuff before turned it into one huge joke. I could be serious but mostly about other people's lives. Their problems. Not my own. I was nearly raped by a friend of a friend and I'd brushed it off with a casual joke during my college years. Someone pointed out I should be pissed not laughing I'd brushed it off as no big deal. We were all drunk. Well I was he was sober. It took another female friend getting upset and telling me it wasn't funny and not to laugh about it for me to admit the tiny ball of panic and self loathing I'd been feeling all day. I'd felt like I was choking and hadn't known why. Emotional's that the entire event sparked cause to cry about it. To face that I'd almost been raped my virginity had been in danger and I was making plans to hang out with the same guy friends as the night before. All because I'd said it wasn't that bad. I wasn't really raped so no big deal right? What's a dick in the mouth while your passed out drunk from drinks someone else pressured you into taking among new friends right? Right. My biggest denial mechanism is its not a bad as it could have been. I tell myself to suck it up cause there is a lot worse in the world. Shit happens. I dropped out of college just stopped going when my mom got sick this time and didn't go back. The time frame of that is blurry for me actually. I don't know which one I did first. The whole year is blurry. A shit roommate. A cat that peed on everything because she was so starved for attention that I couldn't give her because I was allergic to cats and she wasnt my fucking cat to begin with. Being trapped in my room because of the roommate situation.(it was a cat piss smelling hell for me) Meeting new people and just learning I'd have to deal with a lot of shit on my own cause no one cared for me the way I wanted/needed them to. When I got the call from my brother that my father had been doing just at bad as me I was sympathetic. Even worse actually since he'd gotten two duis in two different states and crashed his car in one. With my lease ending I lept at the chance to help him out and get my own life together at the same time. Which is what I told myself at the time but I just was tired. I was depressed and home seemed like a good idea. A part of me was hoping my mom would be there knowing she was dead was one thing. Pretending she was still in that other state waiting for me to come visit was another thing. I was in pretty deep denial. My childhood is blurry. I have three older brothers. One is only a half brother the oldest (a different father) and the other two are full blooded I guess you'd call it both older I was the youngest and only girl. There was a lot of fighting. My brothers were street despite the nice house we lived in. All three dropped out by the 10th grade. All three were in jail. Only one learned his lesson and only went once the youngest of the three. The other two were in and out. ( both are currently in) A lot of bloody fist fights between them. Some with my dad. My mom would fight them too but we all held a higher level of respect for her then my father. Dad was the enemy and I forgot why. A lot of shit I blocked out or choose to forget since well that's how children do when dealing with stressful situations. How I always learned to deal I guess. Bottle it just till you exploded. Sometimes loudly in violent and verbally abusive ways ( I know now I was a terror in hs. I thought it was normal but it wasn't I was a bully) other times quietly which ended in a lot of tears and staring over the ledges of rooftops wondering if you'd survive the fall. But here's the thing. I don't remember my dad well. All I knew of him was a bunch of empty promises, (yay trust issues) the time he took me into a bar and bought me a pickled egg making me promise not to tell my mom (I totally did), fishing trips, how well he would take care of other peoples kids, he was always letting people borrow money and a burning overwhelming dislike bordering on full blown hatred for him. I forgot why really. Time and distance did that for me. I always forgot how someone has disappointed me or hurt me with time and distance. Since I was eighteen to the time i was twenty five he and I had talked maybe a total of sixteen hours over the phone. I talked for hours almost every day with my mom. He'd send money for me but half the time it wasn't the amount he had said he would send of I'd have to pay him back that same week or send money back home to help my mom out. Money was a big thing in our family. I remembered not having a lot. My brothers said the same but they would always always have more then me in the end. Things were odd. My dad was quick to buy a brand new car for my middle brother (his first born not my older half brother) or the latest sneakers for my brothers and shit like a hundred dollar pair of pants for them but we'd never have a lot of food. My brothers had the nicest clothes but I always got food. Not that I wouldn't have liked nice clothes but shopping trips were hell to me. I was fat not super fat but chubby. My dad would constantly tell me I was too fat for the clothes I would look at. My mother didn't know how to dress me and I soon just stopped wanting to shop because I dreaded hearing I couldn't have it for this or that reason or just that I was too fat for it as soon as I picked it up. I was smart about the food. I'd only ask for stuff when we went monthly food shopping. My dad's retired military so we got paid once a month. The thing that pissed me off most was my disabled diseased as I liked to call her crippled ass mother had to work a full time job to support my family despite the extravagant spending. My mom taught me how to hide my money from my dad. We moved several times when I was younger because we suddenly couldn't afford this house or that one. But soon enough we settled. My dad developed a sense of it was him (maybe us depending on his mood) against the rest of the neighborhood. Things like that. It was weird to the younger me I would ask questions constantly and my mother's answers were always just life lessons or little ways to ignore and deal with my father/brothers but It was my mom so I listened. She was the one who taught me all women would some day be the victim or a rape. It was just the way the world was. She being the child born from a rape would know. Again weird but hey it was my mom so I took heed of her words. I was closest with my older brother. Neither he nor I were treated well. He was troubled but I was ignored. My father doted on my middle brothers and kind of just left me and my oldest brother hanging. I didn't notice it as much back then because I had my mom. Me and my oldest brother formed a team. A warped team since despite being younger he depended on me a lot. I was like the older sister or mom most the time.My oldest brother had our mom too but he was always starving for a father's approval. I was the peaceful go between. Always with reassurance and just telling him our dad loved him of course he did. I honestly didn't give a shit about my dad. I had my mom and whatever weird bond I had with my oldest brother. But still I didn't really know why I disliked my dad so much. I told myself I was older and wiser now. I'd lived on my own for eight years by then so I knew how hard it was to pay all the bills. I told myself to be more understanding about my childhood situation which I'd didn't fully understand cause I didn't even have kids and the struggle was real. I moved back in with my dad. To help him get his life together. To help out around the house as he paid his fines and drive him around since his license was suspended. He lived in the sticks of tn so he needed a car to get anything done. Things were good at first. We talked a lot. A big getting to know you moment. He bought me a new bed and furniture. I didn't have a job so I had a lot of time to dedicate to his needs and wants. Just driving him around and sleeping when I got overwhelmed and couldn't cope. I started to notice after I came a bit out of the fog he was naggy. Nothing was ever enough for him. I never did enough. I was lazy wasn't I a too fat as well? I shouldn't buy that or eat that. Get up and take him here. He drank a lot which I remembered but it was even more then before. I chalked it up to him grieving my mother's lose. It had after all only been a year. One day, or it felt like one day, I noticed I hid a lot in my room. From my naggy brother and my naggy father. It was the same thing I'd run away from. Being trapped in my own 'home'. I really began to feel trapped more and more ever day. I felt like shit and didn't know why. I slept crazy hours or didn't sleep at all. When my youngest brother and his girlfriend came over once a month to do their laundry and take over the house I hid from them too. They nagged me a lot to get a job despite not having one themselves and having a baby on the way together. I didn't do much admittedly. I just got heavier and heavier but still I drove my dad around which they wouldn't do and did almost everything he asked me to do. They yelled at me a lot or just gave me the silent treatment . Soon a silent pressure began to grow and it was lick the very air around them was always hostile. My dad seemed oblivious till I pointed it out then he would act. He'd lecture or yell at them tell them to stop making me feel that way. It was as if I was an invader and they hated me for one reason or another. Nothing I did was good enough. For my father for my brother for his girlfriend or my aunt and uncle who lived near us. Those two were a whole different story. I despised them and they hated me back. I went on food stamps because despite all the money my dad made we still never had food in the house. The first week of the month we always well he always feasted like a king i just drove, the rest of the month was borderline starving so I got the food stamps to balance it out. Jobs were hard to come by at the time. And with Obama running for president and all that being a black person in the south was pretty hard. Most the job interviews I went to had confederate flags in the windows. I'd get turned away sometimes harshly but more often with a southern sweet 'your a bit over qualified' or ' we happened to just fill the spot. Maybe next time sugah'. Things were weird. I was always stressed out and filled with a dread I couldn't explain. Calls or visit from my brother just caused fights or for me to retreat into myself. Seeing my dad stressed me out and things just weren't clear to me. Then one day (again more like a month or so) it became clear. I finally got a job and my dad bitched constanly. From the minute he crawled out of the bottle he'd fallen asleep in to the moment I left for work and got back. Most of our trips outside the house were for food to take him to the liquor store or drop him at his friends house so he could drink with them as they did drugs. He nagged all the time ' What would he do if I has a job' but of course he would come back and say he wanted me to succeed in life and I was still young so I should concentrate on me. BUT How was he supposed to get around now? It was a waste or time. I didn't know what I was doing. Blah blah blah. After not even a week I quit that job. My dad calmed down after that. The worse was the house was filthy but my room was neat never any food in my room or trash on the floor. He'd often say I was a terrible house keeper because I wouldn't clean up (after him id always clean any mess i made) The house would smell like rotting food and spoiled milk and the sour smell of vomit. Every morning I'd wake to the sound of him vomiting his liquid dinner and breakfast back up. He'd often leave food on plates and stack them in the sink till they grew mold. He'd cook and let the food spoil in the pot for the next few days. My brother would come clean it all up when he did laundry he'd get paid for it too. They'd come over more when their electric went out or the cable got turned off cause they didn't pay it instead taking trips to Florida to bathe in the sun. When he came he blamed me for the mess since I was there after all why couldn't I care for my father more. I was such a lazy daughter. Lazy lazy useless girl. Go do this or go do that. If you were a good person you'd do it. No matter how many times I asked my father not to leave things out or throw things away he'd ignore me. Fighting became a constant. I was losing the battles and the war. It happened all the time. Then one day I realized he didn't really hear a word I said. I hate corn dogs. Hed buy them for me all the times. Hed make a mistake and call me my mothers name only when i nagged him about his drinking or lack of cleaning of course. It became clear to me.He talked nicely but the mintue I said no or I didn't want to he'd blow up. So I avoided it by just doing as he asked or doing nothing at all. He'd tease how he rarely saw me since I was always 'holed up' in my room. Each time I did for myself or tried to get my life back on track he bitched till I felt like a selfish horrible child and stopped whatever action had offended him. I'd moved in with my father and lost myself to my father and brother and their demands. I was literally trapped with no place to go no money to my name and no job to speak of. So I survived. I became a yes woman. A person who just did as they were told at first. Then I just became a tired women who just did nothing. I lived in filth because that was what there was. He wouldn't clean since he wanted me too do it. But I'd be stubborn and outlast him till he had no choice but to clean. After all my room was always clean. Covered in books at time but I never stank. It was the rest of the house the other his bedroom that took up an entire floor my brothers bedroom (though he didn't live with us) the kitchen and living room that belonged to everyone but me that stank. My room which was next to the garage and didn't have heating or air conditioning in it was my oasis. No smells but old books and my own body sweat. No pressure. I could sleep all day. Don't get me wrong it wasn't all horrible. Which was the worst part I think. It was what reminded me of my childhood. The good days. Those one or two days out of the entire month that were good and you'd cling to those memories. Or I did. Even in that hot stuffy room it wasn't that bad. When I got depressed enough that my father actually paid attention he bought me a hamster to talk to. The good days were the worse for me. I'd cling to those good days and use them to forgot and ignore the bad. But the self loathing stayed. It always stayed. Like a little black cloud floating above my head. No matter how hard I laughed or how much I read it was always there. Just waiting till i was sitting up at 4 am to descend upon my thoughts and remind me of the bad days. The days he broke a promise or called me fat or made me feel so little as a person my own self worth was crippled to the point I'd drive down the highway and think about crashing the car so we'd die together as he nagged on and on about something or tried to joke to lighten my mood when I got mad just to see how much he'd like that dying with his useless lazy daughter. Or I'd speed down the highway alone free from him for and hour or two and so viciously wish I'd just drive and keep driving and never look back but not having the courage to do that. They were dark days. They still keep me up. But my own personal hell wasn't over yet. No it got worse. Much worse for me at least.