#if my shitty teasing of my little sister had gotten her killed?

[stimmingandstruggling]

i (guy with a younger sister and brother) understand michael afton more than the rest of you ever will

[ofmoonlitmagic]

"Very hard to kill someone who's both cute and charming," Briggs remarked, despite the grouch continuing on in his ways. Then again, he had just killed like 5 of his own, probably that whole reading the room thing. "Obviously, they weren't." Oops, he did it again.

He knew he owed nothing to this hunter, and no doubt there were other members of his family who would not. He'd been part of hurt caused to the Mikaelsons, but--here he was, helping anyway. Internally cursing himself for doing it the whole time. Offering a shrug, his lips curled into a hint of a smirk, "maybe." Hell, if he was going down with the hunter, might as well do it still as smartass as ever.

Briggs kept walking into these messes, like a moth drawn to flame. He went back again and again to places basically guaranteed to hurt him--no wonder his mother was so worried about him--so maybe, ironically, the masochism was his own. "I can think of worse things to die for," he said, "and hey, with any luck, the door's still open a crack and we can sneak back over." His brows instantly furrowing at the most shocking thing likely said so far between them, "...you're welcome? Okay, yeah, let's not do that, that feels weird."

Asher was learning because Briggs had been ready to argue that was no excuse. Born, join, there wasn't a lot of difference once you were old enough to choose staying. No sassy comeback was made as the hunter continued, explaining, humanizing. "I know something about shitty fathers," he mumbled, so far under his breath it was almost inaudible.

Sometimes families of origin were less than ideal, and the only family you could count on was the one found. Or found by. "Did you get your proof? Because with everyone coming back, your sister's probably out there somewhere and you can just ask her now." Great, he was probably about to volunteer to help him do that too. If they got out of this situation alive. "I mean, cool motive, still murder, but I get it. I've got siblings, and frankly, I'd commit war crimes to keep them safe."

If anyone knew the power of family, it was Briggs, having fully and completely devoted himself to all things Mikaelson. If they'd have been the bad guys in the war this time, he wouldn't even have wavered, which maybe made Asher the better person after all. However, for all the crimes credited to his family, eradicating entire species wasn't among them.

"I guess that's where I come in handy, maybe you can get out alive after all." The next comment elicited a small laugh, "funny enough, it wasn't on mine either. Not exactly sure how I'm going to explain this to the rest of them but one bridge at a time." He focused on gathering every last piece, so much so he almost missed it. Doing a double take, a curious look appeared on his face as a pleasantly surprised grin crept up. "I didn't know those muscles in your face worked," he teased, ignoring the comment about his concern. He couldn't exactly deny it. "Told you mutiny suited you."

Reaching his arm out, Briggs guided him back a little more, "step back." Lips upturned, he commented, "you've gotten to see two of my favorite spells. See, I knew we were going to share things today." Even if he had been joking earlier about sharing traumas, he'd managed to get Asher's anyway. "Phasmatos Incendia."

Watching as the wood and bodies began to burn, he murmured, "we should have brought marshmallows..." Humor was definitely a coping mechanism, the warmth of the fire was a visceral pull back in time. Not the first time he burned away the past. Glancing over at the hunter, he expected that joke to not go over well. "We should stay only long enough to make sure the evidence has burned, then we've got to go. I can hold the cloaking spell for a while, but it's not infinite." Go where? He thought, now reaching that particular bridge. "Do you know where your sister was staying last?" No, that wouldn't work because they clearly knew where that was if she had been taken by them. "--Or if we make it back to my room, we can figure out a plan from there."

“Yeah - I’m getting that” Asher groaned, but Brigg’s quick wit was honestly the least of their problems. By now, it shouldn't have still been their problem though and Asher couldn’t work out why Brigg’s hadn’t taken his granted freedom.

The hunter becoming the hunted felt only deserved and whether Asher had wanted it or not, he was far from innocent. He had once idolised his father and vowed that he’d fill the same shoes, except the older he became, he realised that his father was no necessary evil. In the eyes of his own flesh and blood, Asher wasn’t a son, only a weapon and for years, he had allowed himself to be just that.

The difference now was that his sister was home and the suspicions Asher had around her disappearance and the involvement of their father had now been confirmed. The OEA were poison and they had poisoned him against his own sister, but Asher’s mind remained his own and it was time that he acted on that. 

Just as Asher had made his own moments before, Brigg’s made a decision that would cement both of their fates. The hybrid leapt into action and Asher followed suit, but not before scoffing at the other's comment “I bet you'd just love that.” The scoff didn't quite meet his expression however and for a split second, he looked towards the other with a genuine look of gratitude.

As instructed Asher grabbed another of the OEA bodies, dragging them across the ground with an air of aggression to his action. "No, you probably shouldn't - because something tells me this'll be what gets us both killed, but I uh" the hunter awkwardly cleared his throat "... thanks."

Brigg's following observation caused him to swallow hard, ruminating over the thought. When he did eventually respond, it was was spoken harshly but that had been unintentional and he quickly adjusted his tone. “I didn’t join.” A grunt passed between them as he hoisted another body onto their pile “I was born into it. And no, before you bite my head off, I know that's not an excuse.”

Asher was usually tight lipped about his past, but he figured if anybody had earned a preview, it had to be Briggs. It pained him to talk about, but the other had earned the sincerity. “My sister was like me, she tried to get out.” Asher cleared his throat, unable to look at Briggs “but that only left her kids without a mom." A tightness swelled within the centre of his chest, a sensation he was used to by now but it still scared the hell out of him each time it happened. He lifted his head and looked towards the other "her own father, our father - he'd kill his own grandkids if he was given half the chance. I just needed the proof that he had done something to my sister, so I stayed. The longer I stayed, the harder it got to leave. Alive, anyway."

The hunter fought to dismiss the thought, knowing that he had said far too much and so he continued to distract himself, driving his booth through the frame of a chair to use to wood. Showing his appreciation, especially to others wasn't easy nor was gaining his trust - but he suspected that Briggs was exactly the same. "A Mikaelson, helping out a hunter?" Asher sucked air through his teeth "sure as hell didn't have that on my bingo card." His actions came to a halt, tossing the wood on top of the deceased, as for the first time in the entirety of their encounter, Asher smiled "careful, you're starting to sound concerned again." The action was fleeting, but it had lingered enough for Briggs to see it was there, before Asher lifted his hand and murmured "all right. Show me what you've got, I guess. Light the bastards up."

[notdonesimpin]

Point Of View ~k.b.~

katsuki bakugou x gn!reader

warnings: fluff

synopsis: no one believes that katsuki is a good boyfriend until they see if for themselves AKA the three times people how sweet bakugou can be.

a/n: ah so i’ve neglected bnha quite a bit.. debated keeping this to myself but everyone needs a bit of soft and respectful bakugou. hope you enjoy :)

You weren’t oblivious to the worry and concern in people’s eyes when you told them that Bakugou was your boyfriend. The two most infamous things said in response were: “You’re joking, right?” and “Are you okay? Does he get violent with you?”

It was quite frustrating to reassure people that being with him was okay. You know he's a good guy. Why does everyone assume that he’d be a shitty boyfriend? Why doesn’t Bakugou want other people to see the more tame side of him that he’d developed the past two years you’d been together?

Everyone learned to just take your word for it, though they’d never really seen him be affectionate with you. That’s why it was so shocking once they actually saw the true nature of your relationship with him.

1: Your Parents

“Bakugo!” your little sister yelled, running up to hold onto his leg.

His eyes widened as he looked down at her, confused as to where she came from. “Hey, Rugrat. What are you doing running around by yourself?”

“Mom and Dad are over there!” she points to a store in the distance and continues talking, “Are you here with my sibling?”

She stepped back, grabbing onto his extended hand as they walked towards your parents.

“Not right now. They’re here somewhere with their friends.”

“I thought you were their friend,” she pouted, “Are you guys not friends anymore?”

Bakugou sighed, “I’m a different kind of friend, Rugrat.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tenshi! There you are!” your mom says, rushing over to the two of them.

“She saw me and ran over. Sorry about that,” Bakugou awkwardly scratched the back of his head, feeling uncomfortable with the apology passing through his lips.

“She must really like you, then. She never does this with anyone,” you mom notes, slightly impressed that he won your sister over within a few short months.

He softly smiles, looking down at her, “I think we just understand each other.”

“You still haven’t told me what’s so different about you being friends with Y/N!” she points at him.

He squats down to chat with her, “It’s the kind of friend that gets to hang out with a cool kid like you in their free time.”

“That’s the best!” she exclaims.

Bakugou’s phone buzzes, and he pulls it out to see a text from you that asked where he was. “I have to go, but I’ll see you at your birthday party.”

“Promise?” She sticks out her pinky.

“Promise.” 

He clasps his pinky who hers quickly before getting up and saying a quick goodbye to your mother and rushing off.

Tenshi grabbed your mother’s hand as they watched him. 

You came into view with a few bags on your arms and he immediately took them from you despite your apparent protest and gave you a quick kiss before walking in the opposite direction.

Your mother realized that she may have had the wrong idea about Bakugo this entire time.

2: Class 1-A

“How are you not sore from weight training yesterday?” you whine as you both walk towards the classroom.

“I train all the time. You just aren’t used to it,” he smirks, nudging you slightly with his arm.

“Whatever. You didn’t even go easy on me, a beginner.”

“I’ve never gone easy on you. Why would I start now?”

“Fair point,” you shrug as you walk through the classroom door and all eyes immediately fall on the two of you.

“There’s the cutest couple in school!” Mina exclaims.

You both look at her bewildered by her statement.

“I didn’t know Bakugou actually had a heart,” Iida muttered, looking at something on Kirishima’s desk.

“What did you do?” Bakugou whispers with a hint of agitation in his voice. 

“I didn’t do anything. I have no clue what they’re talking about!”

“Kirishima saw you guys at the New Year’s Festival. He took a really cute picture of you guys!” Kaminari explained, walking over to show you both the picture on his phone.

You both looked at it to see your little sister, Tenshi, on his shoulders with a smile on her face as she pointed at one of the booths. Bakugo had one hand keeping her stable on his shoulder and the other was laced with yours. He had a large smile on his face as if he was laughing at something you said.

“What were you guys talking about?” Mina asks.

“None of your fucking business,” Bakugou grumbled, pushing past all of them to his seat with you in tow as he continued, “If you ask us another question, I will kill all of you.”

“Bakubro, they wouldn’t let you kill us even if you wanted to,” Kirishima laughed.

“You even gave them your jacket!” Sero exclaimed, “I remember when you tried to fight me for even trying to borrow a blanket when we were in your room!”

“He can’t let his precious girl get cold,” Kaminari sang.

Bakugou grumbled, crossing his arms as he sat down, knowing that anything he said would only fuel the fire.

3: His Parents

“Holy shit!” you exclaimed as your umbrella bent backwards, officially breaking after three long years of service.

The rain didn’t even have a chance to touch your body before Bakugo quietly handed his umbrella over to you, taking the broken one from you. “Don’t need you catching a cold.”

As soon as you took it from him, he took his jacket off and wrapped it around your backpack. He forced your broken one closed and held onto it to throw away later.

“Katsuki, you’re going to get soaked,” you tried to argue.

“I’ll be fine. My backpack is waterproof.”

“At least get under the umbrella. What if you catch a cold?”

“It isn’t big enough to even cover your backpack, dumbass. I’ll be fine. I haven’t gotten sick in years.”

“I’ll just put my hood on until we get to your house and then walk home from there with the umbrella.”

“Not happening, I’m taking you home. I can’t let you walk by yourself.”

Thirty minutes later, Bakugou walked through the door absolutely soaked from head to toe with two broken umbrellas in his hand and his jacket wrapped around his waist.. 

He let out a huge sigh as he dropped his backpack and took off his shoes.

“Katsuki, I need-” Mitsuki’s eyes widened as she looked at him.”Go get out of those clothes and take a shower! You’re going to catch a cold in those if you stay in them any longer!”

“You don’t have to yell, you old hag!” he snapped as he walked to the bathroom.

After he showered and put on some warmer clothes, he was met with the curious eyes of his mother and father as he took his towels and clothes to the washing machine.

“What?” he questioned, pausing on his way.

“You had two broken umbrellas and were absolutely soaked. What happened?”

“Y/N’s umbrella broke, so I gave them mine. It’s too small to do anything but cover their body, so I wrapped my jacket around their backpack so their stuff didn’t get wet. I was soaked by the time we got to their house, so there was no point in putting my jacket back on, but I promised them that I’d use the umbrella on the way back and it broke from the wind.”

Their jaws dropped.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he grumbled and justified himself, “I didn’t want them getting sick. They don't take good care of themself when they feel bad. Can I go to my room?”

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll let you know when dinner’s ready,” Masaru said.

Katsuki walks off without another word.

The next morning, Mitsuki was yelling at Katsuki to get up from the other side of the house, but she wasn’t getting the usual response back. 

She paused outside his door when he heard the low murmur of his voice as if he was on the phone and slowly cracked the door open.

“Do you want me to come over?” she heard you ask.

“No, I can’t take care of you and me. If you catch my cold, you won’t eat like you’re supposed to. I swear you’re like an annoying little child when you’re sick.”

“Always so mean,” you laugh, “I can take care of myself, Katsuki.”

“I know you can, but I want to take care of you, so shut up,” he coughed, “And don’t hang up on me until you are inside of the school safe!”

“I feel so bad. You got sick because of me.”

“Well, make it up to me by kicking ass in class today, okay?”

“Don’t I always?” you tease, causing him to softly laugh.

Mitsuki smiled to herself as she quietly closed the door, hoping that you’d be in her son’s life forever.

[levihantrash]

Shitty Comics and Their Shitty Artists

Levi’s pragmatism pulled the brakes. “I’m not about to dedicate my life to become a broke comic artist.”

Levi Ackerman, a gruff cleaner with an appetite for toilet humour meets the unabashedly friendly creative writing professor, Hange Zoë, who somehow ropes Levi into working on a comic with them. While the comic’s title remains undecided, Hange knows that it’s going to be set in a world where giant, human-like creatures devour other humans. Erwin Smith, the comic’s self-appointed editor, unironically thinks it’s going to be a hit. All Levi knows is that he wants to indulge in drawing this comic while hanging out with a certain writer who just won’t stop talking to him.

Where Hange, Levi, and Erwin are the creators of Attack on Titan.

Chapter 1:

“The sweets are really good here, huh?” A kind, bespectacled face appeared beside him, peering at the bulging of his shirt.

Levi had stolen from the pantry plenty of times. He had never gotten caught, so his gradual boldness could have been the problem. He had seen Mikasa, his younger sister, whenever she passed by the snacks section in the grocery store. Her gaping mouth at the sight of the colourful assortment of sweets was enough to let him know.

“I just like looking!” Mikasa said hastily. He hadn’t said anything either.

To be caught now, when he had overheard a staff member mentioning that most of the professors would be taking their leave during the summer break, was just his bad, bad luck. Objectively, he was risking his month-old job, but stealing from the pantry was much less risky than stealing from the grocery store. He began doing it weekly. Every Monday, right before the professors came streaming in, he would take a quick survey of his surroundings, and snatch two chocolate bars, sometimes a banana—only a handful. He would glance at the security camera hanging in the corner, willing it to catch him. Nobody would be petty enough to arrest a cleaner for swiping staff snacks in the pantry, right?

Levi stared back at the unfamiliar person. He recognised most of the staff by now. Only the English Literature professor, Erwin Smith, would greet him in the mornings.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Hange Zoë, the new creative writing professor. Nice to meet you!” They extended out a hand, which he felt obliged to shake, albeit warily. The hand was sweaty, and the handshake, vigorous.

“I was setting up my table and I wanted to meet everyone. Turns out most of them are on vacation,” Hange said absent-mindedly, scratching their head. The two buttons of their shirt had been mixed up, scrunching up the dress shirt's already lopsided collar. Levi resisted the urge to rebutton it for them. Today was not the day to scare off what seemed to be a genuinely welcoming person. Hange, on the other hand, found the firm handshake hilarious. What made this person so uptight?

Hange, realising that he wasn’t saying anything, breezily went, “what’s your name?”

“Levi,” he said, pushing his hands back into his pockets.

“You don’t prefer Dr. Levi?” Hange asked curiously.

“I’m not a professor. Just the cleaner,” Levi said shortly.

“Oh? Is that why you’re so secretive about the snacks?” Hange teased him, much to his chagrin.

“You rich profs have enough to eat,” Levi spat out.

Hange didn’t even blink, nodding calmly, “you’re right, it’s certainly good to make full use of the school’s resources.” Levi, sensitive to any hint of condescension, found none, though not regretting his overdose of sarcasm.

“Also,” Hange added, “I’m not going to tell anyone, I promise! So could you not look like you want to kill me and leave my dead body in the cleaning closet?”

Levi scoffed, relaxing the fists that had formed naturally by his side.

“Do you like bread?” Hange asked suddenly, scanning him for signs of the affirmative. He shrugged.

“I passed by a bakery this morning and it had the most delicious smell,” they sighed, “I was running late so I couldn’t get anything.”

“It seems like you’re kind of a mess.”

Hange laughed—this person could literally laugh at everything, Levi thought. They lifted their shoulders with their arms in the air, in a manner of “I was born like this, what do you want me to do?”

As the conversation subsided, Hange saw Levi’s eyes dart towards the neglected mop and bucket, finding it oddly endearing.

“Well then! I won’t disturb you any longer!” Hange announced. Levi wanted to tell them that they weren’t disturbing him at all, before stopping himself. His initial plan was to escape from useless small talk. Uttering such absurdity would be counterintuitive.

“Since you’re here,” Hange grabbed the last few packets of chips in the basket and stuffed them into his gigantic apron pockets, “you might as well take the rest!”

“Are you pitying me?”

“Those snacks aren’t for you,” Hange merely said cheerfully, before tentatively asking, “or am I wrong?”

“Don’t expect any favours,” Levi said begrudgingly.

He looked awkwardly at the distracted professor, who had chosen to open a chocolate bar themselves.

“Thanks…” he said, and Hange only grins, bits of chocolate and almond stuck to their teeth.

----------

Routine, that’s how it all began. Levi and Hange were seeing each other every day. In each encounter, Hange would tug out a new bread or pastry from the depths of a green, bottomless leather bag that they carried around everywhere.

Initially, Levi felt offended. “You think I can’t afford bread?” He asked, narrowing his eyes.

Hange’s eyes widened, “of course not! I want to share the joy of this bread, if you remember that bakery I was craving for,” they poked at the loaf, leaving a small dent in the middle.

With their hand still extended out, Hange scoured for words, “and you look like someone who doesn’t often indulge in little joys.”

“I didn’t ask you to psychoanalyze me.” Levi grabbed the bread, tore it into two, and pushed one entire piece into his mouth. A muffled word of thanks came out. The other half was planted back onto Hange’s palm.

“You said you wanted to share, didn’t you?”

Hange glowed in acknowledgement. They stuffed the warm bread into their mouth, cheeks full, incoherently raving about its texture. The sight of Levi chewing the bread contentedly after unexpectedly cramming it into his mouth; Hange wanted to preserve it, to immortalise this tentative pleasure. If fresh bread was what it took to achieve that, it was perfectly doable.

Levi saw it as what it was. An offering. There was really no reason to reject free bread, and if this were Hange’s version of bribery, it was innocent enough.

“Why don’t I get bread?” Erwin asked Hange, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Levi’s nose wrinkled at the overly strong aroma.

“Sorry Erwin!” Hange patted him on the back, not sounding apologetic at all, “I only have money for one friend and since Levi is my first friend here, it’s only fair, don’t you think?”

“Certainly,” Erwin said, sipping on his black coffee, eyeing a certain stony-faced individual’s violent coughing at Hange’s mention of “friend.”

“What?” Levi asked, clearing his throat one more time.

“Good day to you both,” Erwin said, sweeping past Levi to return to his desk.

Following the end of summer break, Hange became relatively friendly with their colleagues in the staffroom, who had never greeted Levi. Unbothered by the lack of formalities, Levi found himself getting along best with living things that discarded general rules of propriety. Like children, animals… and Hange. Still, when Levi trailed back to the staffroom, wet mop in hand, he found himself at a hearing distance behind Hange’s conversation with a group of colleagues.

Hange got to the point, smiling sweetly. “Why do you all pretend Levi doesn’t exist?”

There were awkward, feeble words of justification. Something about Levi being too scary. Something about Levi not greeting them first. Hange listened, eyebrows furrowing.

“You could at least say hi, right? He doesn’t bite,” Hange said coolly. Their colleagues felt the faintest chill up their spine. Levi sloshed the mop onto the floor, making his presence known. Hange barely flinched, as though expectant of his company.

“Are you talking about me behind my back?”

Hange slung an arm around Levi’s shoulders and whispered, “no, I’m telling everyone right now that you don’t get enough sleep and that’s why you’re glaring at everyone.”

Levi elbowed them away. “Who cares what people think?”

Unwrapping the bread Hange gave him, he took one significant, large bite while everyone squirmed in silence. Hange, strangely amused by the scene playing out before them, ushered Levi towards Erwin’s cubicle.

“Levi! What are your plans for today?”

“Cleaning.”

Hange clapped their hands together, “I invite you to have lunch with me and Erwin!”

“Why should I go?” Levi said, not unkindly.

“Why not?” Levi couldn’t give a good reason. Hange, latching on to Levi’s lack of refusal, took the mop away from his hands.

“You can finish cleaning later. Everyone has to eat, right?”

“Not you, apparently,” Levi muttered, remembering how Hange had straight-up not left their desk for a whole ten hours—the sun shining on their sleep deprivation at dawn until the desktop screen illuminated their exhaustion at dusk.

“That was one deadline, Levi.”

“Sure.” Regardless, he wasn’t about to decline Hange. Somehow, Hange had grown attached to Erwin, and had endless discussions with him. Conversations about writing, mostly. He didn’t participate much outside of jabbing at Hange’s ribs when the volume of their voice went over the publicly acceptable range. Otherwise, he would be shooting glares at Erwin whenever he tried to probe into Levi’s personal life. Erwin had an intensity that was difficult, near impossible to ignore.

Incidentally, the topic of comics cropped up.

“Comics?”

Hange picked up on the rare tonal shift of Levi’s voice, studying him. Erwin’s fork elegantly pierced a French fry, the screech of the fork’s contact with the plate prompting Levi to speak over it. He was positive that Erwin was trying to get him to talk. On purpose.

“Yes, I like them,” Levi conceded, draining the tea from his cup.

“I learn something new about you every day!” Hange exclaimed, as Levi gripped the edge of the cup harder.

Seemingly catching on to Levi’s discomfort, Erwin asked Hange for recommendations, telling them how he had never read any comics.

“How predictable of a literature professor,” Hange said, sitting up straighter to mock the poise of a scholar, glasses perched at the tip of their nose for the intended effect.

“You look like a fart with a stick up their ass,” Levi commented, leaving Hange howling. Erwin, the consistent gentleman, remained at ease with these disparaging jokes.

While Hange listed out their favourite comics, Levi noted that none of their top choices was marginally close to any of his preferences: in genre, in plot, and in art style.

“I like horror.”

“I don’t,” Levi countered. Hange grinned wider.

“Well, you’re scary enough as you are,” Hange considered, taking in his aloof disposition and the way he sat stiffly on the chair. Nonchalant, and could possibly decimate you.

“Look,” Hange said, thrusting an open book into Levi’s hands. “This comic is so good. It keeps me up at night.”

Levi leafed through the pages, absorbed by the clean black and white lines. That was, until he flipped a page and winced at the image of empty eye sockets, gouged out, spurting inked blood.

“You don’t like blood,” Hange said this matter-of-factly, promptly closing the book.

“I don’t like unnecessary death.”

“How do you know those deaths were unnecessary?” Erwin asked, pushing back his blonde hair in an effortlessly charismatic manner.

Levi could picture it. Erwin, a fearless leader, bringing people to greater heights.

Hange had less noble thoughts. Erwin was definitely the protagonist in a teen movie who looked older than high school age and was starring as a blonde jock whose embarrassingly lacklustre coming-of-age arc was spurred by a shy, beautiful nerd. For good reason, Hange kept their mouth shut.

“I don’t,” Levi answered, “but is any death really necessary?”

Erwin smiled, “perhaps not.” The seed of doubt grew in Levi.

Hange leaned forward across the table towards Levi, a hand covering one side of their smirking face.

“Erwin’s a lot more calculative than you think.”

Levi swatted away Hange’s strands of hair tickling his cheek, “I know,” he said half-heartedly, not wishing to contemplate the extent of its truthfulness.

Carving the last piece of meat on his plate into two, Erwin shrugged.

“So, you would say that some deaths are necessary?” Levi asked. The question blurted out on its own, slicing through the amicable atmosphere like a stray bullet. For some reason, he wanted a proper answer. Hange was busy flipping through the same horror comic book, their eyes trained on the page.

“Do you like bugs, Levi?” Erwin asked.

Levi visibly scowled. “No.”

Erwin’s fork scraped the plate insistently.  “Do you kill them?”

“Obviously.”

Erwin’s collectedness seemed impenetrable. “Would you say their deaths are necessary?”

“Necessary enough as a cleaner.”

“There, you have your answer,” Erwin said, with finality.

“I’m talking about human lives, not some insects,” Levi said, frustrated.

“Some lives matter more than others, am I right?”

“Yeah…” Levi said, struggling to grasp Erwin’s logic.

“It’s the same for us,” Erwin said cryptically.

Hange stood up, snapping the book shut. “Shit, I have to teach a class in ten!” Levi naturally stood up as well. Erwin gave a friendly wave, undeterred by the abruptness of their departure.

“See you, Erwin!” Hange called out, rushing back to the staffroom.

“Why does Erwin have to be so ambiguous?” Levi griped.

“You’re not very telling, yourself,” Hange said blithely, grabbing their laptop before marching out of the door.

Armed with constant smiles and warm words, Levi would classify Hange as someone just as enigmatic. Their discussions about writing were arguably personal, but they weren’t exactly close to the heart.

The two people Levi was becoming acquainted with in the past few weeks were a slate full of words in a language he understood, but couldn’t decipher. For the rest of the day, he compromised on these doubts by making sure the windows had not a speck of dust on them. Every moving insect was stamped out under his supervision. He thought about Erwin’s words, turning them over and over in his head. He thought about Hange’s nonchalance towards Erwin’s questions.

----------

After locking up his cleaning supplies, Levi peeled the sweaty gloves off his arms, untying the bandana on his head that kept his long fringe away, and removed his apron. Hearing a friendly shout in the otherwise deserted school building, he caught Hange coming to a stop behind him.

“You’re still here,” he said, frowning.

“Had a lot of work,” they said, armed with this reasoning every day.

“Were you listening during lunch?”

“Hmm, kind of,” Hange stated obliquely, “you know how literature people are.”

Levi was bewildered, his passive expression cracking slightly. “I don’t. As you might have realised, I don’t talk to a lot of people.”

“Literature people,” Hange rubbed their chin, eyes looking upwards in deep thought, “enjoy discussing morality in a mostly abstract, hypothetical way.”

“That’s annoying.”

Hange fell in step with Levi, who was headed to the exit, “Erwin’s one of the better ones. He’s pragmatic, and he’s not just all talk.”

“Yeah, so what’s his grand plan…” Levi said, finding the right words, “for humanity?”

“He wants to create a comic.”

Levi blinked.

“Huh? What does that have to do with morality?”

Hange looked unperturbed by Levi’s confusion, as though it were commonplace for them to defend the importance of the comic genre.

“Think of texts as a philosophical question waiting to be answered. And the questions of morality being narrativized makes their conclusions more believable. More influential. Erwin has a vision for comics to be the source of truth.”

“What truth?”

Hange grinned, “if we knew, would we need to write the comic?”

“You talk like it’s more revolutionary than it actually is…” Levi said, pushing open the door to step out of the school building.

“A comic can be life-changing,” Hange mused, admiring how the sunset decorated everything in watercolour splashes of orange and pink; a distinct nostalgic hue.

Levi remembered that Hange was, after all, a creative writing professor. “Yeah, you would say that.”

“It’s not because I’m a creative writing professor!” Hange said, impassioned. He gave them a dry look.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Besides, Erwin wants to be the editor of the comic that I am writing,” Hange said proudly.

Levi felt that his head might explode. “Since when were you writing a comic?”

“Since last week!” Hange said, remarkably animated.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Isn’t that what friends are for? To share things with?” Hange asked, hopeful.

That word—Levi figured that that was what they were by now. Friends. He didn’t hate the sound of it.

“You’re not going to ask what it’s about?”

“You’ll tell me if I just waited.”

“You’re right! But you see,” Hange exhaled, shaking their head despondently, “my problem is that I don’t have someone who can draw out my writing.” Levi’s hands twitched. He interlocked them into a prayer, hoping Hange didn’t notice.

“Why not just write a novel?”

Hange was unconvinced, “I’m tired of just the written word, Levi! The versatility and multimodal form of the comic are incomparable to a novel!”

Levi had to agree. “Have you been trying to find artists?”

“Yes, but none of them seemed very keen on drawing the story,” Hange said, recalling the number of people who became increasingly disconcerted upon hearing the gist of the story.

“So, what’s the story?” Levi asked.

Hange was hesitant. Levi waited.

“It’s horror, isn’t it?”

“The premise includes giant naked human beings running around eating people,” Hange said. Levi grimaced. They expected this, but it didn’t make their disappointment at his very reasonable reaction any less jarring.

“It also has a lot of blood,” Hange said. Sensing that they were one sentence away from diving into a world-building sermon, they paused.

“Do you want to hear more?”

“Maybe tomorrow,” Levi said honestly. It had been a long day.

“Of course! I’ll see you tomorrow!” Hange said, giving him a reassuring pat on the back.

“I’ll see you,” Levi said belatedly. Hange was already brisk walking towards the crowded street.

Instinctively, he called out, “Four-eyes!”

Turning back, Hange stood where they were, surprised.

“Tell me the story tomorrow.”

A gradual look of appreciation spread across Hange’s face, as their eyes arched downwards into thin curves.

“Thank you, Levi!”

Levi sidestepped Hange’s thanks with a disgruntled “tch. Whatever.”

I finally did it! I posted the first chap of the fic I've been working on for the past month *_* if you read till here... thank you!!! hearing your thoughts/comments would be nice heheh

[whimsicallyreading]

Eight Second Ride

Part Three-

(Part Two)

“So you are telling me-“ Aedion scowls from the other side of her bed, “you ditched me for a sweaty bull rider and didn’t even last an hour into the date?”

Aelin shoves a spoonful of cookies and cream ice cream into her mouth and sniffles. “That’s all you got from my story?”

He slings an arm over Aelin’s shoulders and she lays her head on his chest gratefully. She’d caught an Uber back to her apartment where Aedion was already camped out waiting for her.

One look at her mascara smeared face, and he’d made a pillow fort on her bed. Complete with ice cream and “Little Women” playing on his phone.

“No, I got the whole chauvinistic asshole, bit.” Aedion stabs his spoon into the container and breaks up a particularly large piece of Oreo. “I just decided to focus on the part that doesn’t make me want to leave you hear and go and kill him right now.”

“I thought cowboys were supposed to be classy.” Aelin watched Jo play with her sisters in their attic on Aedion’s tiny screen. “Take city girls into the country to ride a horse and show them a bigger purpose in life, kind of shit.”

“Hallmark is such a liar.” Aedion huffs and squeezes her shoulder a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Lin. I know going out tonight was a big step for you. It’s a shame he acted the way he did.”

It was rare Aelin acted on a whim these days. Not like she used to do when she was in high school. She felt a pull to go with Rowan, but her gut had led her into a situation that could have gone south very quickly.

It’s a hard thing when you can’t trust yourself.

“No. I shouldn’t have gone. Especially not alone.” Aelin’s feels her thoughts drifting. Creeping towards that iron box of memories she keeps locked tight. “It’s my mistake.”

“No.”

The fervor in Aedion’s voice draws her attention up to his face, and Aelin is jarred by the intensity of his expression. “Aedion-“

“It’s not your fault.” His voice is gravely, and his blue eyes flicker like the heart of a flame. “I don’t give a shit what that bastard thought you accepting his invitation meant. You don’t owe him sex because he buys you a drink.”

“Aedion-“ Aelin tries to interrupt again. A new wave of tears burns her eyes, but Aedion is on a roll and he isn’t going to quite down until he gets out what’s on his mind.

“You don’t deserve to be treated like an object that can be bought.” Aelin can’t look him in the eyes any longer, but a calloused hand guides her face to the crook of his neck.

“His friends are shitty. He should have made them shut up. Ogling you, and making you feel unsafe and uncomfortable aren’t funny jokes.” Aedion goes on as Aelin sniffles into his shirt.

“You deserve respect. It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, what he buys you, or what his expectations are. His behavior isn’t your fault.” Aedion whispers against the top of her head.

Aelin wraps the arm that isn’t squished under her, around his waist. “I love you, Brother Wolf.”

“I love you too, Fireheart.” Aedion kisses her forehead and tugs her closer, the old terms of endearment are exchanged between them with ease.

“I know you are still dealing with everything that happened a couple years ago. I’m happy to remind you how worth it you are whenever you need.”

Aedion was an island of safety in the turbulent ocean of her life. Even when Aelin was small, she’d often go to him before her own parents with her problems. He was steady, and calm. The exact opposite of her own personality.

After the incident, he hadn’t rested until she was safely at his side again. Aedion stood by her faithfully as she picked up the broken pieces of her life and held her hand as she tried to make something new from them.

“How come you already had this movie downloaded onto your phone?” Aelin teased lightly, trying to lighten the mood. “Did you suddenly develop a sense of taste?”

Aedion purses his lips. “Lysandra said this movie is, and I quote, the most accurate depiction of the female experience.” He shakes his head. “I’ve tried to watch it three times, and I still can’t figure out what it’s even about.”

“You are a simple minded creature, cousin.” Aelin grabs her spoon and scoops a melty bite of ice cream into her mouth. “Thank you for coming over.”

“Anytime, Lin.” He leans his cheek on her head as the scene on his phone shifts from the cooler grey tones of the present, back to the warm colors that represented better days. “Anytime.”

~~~

The day started off better than she expected.

Aedion was gone when she woke up- he had to rise at an ungodly hour to make it to the fire station on time.

Yet, he set her alarm clock for her so Aelin woke up in time to get ready for work. He’d also set a glass of water and an Advil tablet on her bedside table to curb the headache she was sure to have from crying.

Aelin made it out the door with enough time to stop and get coffee on the way. She even splurged and got a chocolate hazelnut Frappuccino with enough sugar to smooth her wounded feelings.

It was going so well, Aelin should have known it was the universe winding up to screw her.

It was only a couple hours before she closed shop when Lorcan Salvaterre stepped through her front door.

“Holy shit, it’s you.” Were the first words from his mouth. His dark eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Rowan is going to flip when I tell him I actually found you.”

“What are you doing here?” Aelin’s slammed a stack of books on the counter.

Lorcan looked pensive. “Rowan said you mentioned owning a book store-“ he drags a hand through his dark hair. “I felt like I ruined his chance with you, so I thought I maybe if I apologized-“

“Let me stop you there,” Aelin didn’t bother looking at him as she labeled books and organized them into stacks. “You didn’t ruin anything, you didn’t help, but he screwed up all by himself.”’

“He realizes that,” Lorcan quickly defends, his voice gruff with irritation. “If I can give him your number I’m sure he will grovel for himself.”

Aelin rolls her eyes and slides another stack to the end of the counter. “You don’t get it.”

“Get what?” She can tell he’s losing his patience with her. Lorcan’s remorse only went so far, apparently.

Aedion’s words from earlier rang in her ears as she repeated them back to the man. “He was overbearing the entire time. Had double standard opinions about my life, and disrespected my boundaries.”

Aelin watched as Lorcan shifted on his feet, itching to say something but obviously refraining. Measuring his words carefully he looked her dead in the eye. “Look. He was just trying to impress you. Rowan doesn’t go out often. Don’t you think you are blowing this a little out of proportion?”

Red. Aelin saw red. Tasted it. Like iron in her mouth. Or maybe that was just the blood from biting her tongue so hard. “I’m working right now. You don’t strike me as extremely literate, but I have to ask for you to either buy something or leave.”

Lorcan glowered at her. “Fine.” He turns to walk out, but Aelin hears him call her a bitch under his breath.

Just then, Elide walks inside the shop doors. A backpack slung over her shoulder, finished with her classes at Rifthold U and prepared to work the evening shift with her.

Aelin is relieved for the interruption and about to take full advantage of it, when the small, brown-haired girl catches sight of Lorcan and beams like a rutting lighthouse.

“Lorcan! I didn’t know you were coming into my work, what a surprise.”

Elide. One of her best friends, runs up to the six-two tower of misogynistic cow boys and flings her arms around him. Hugs him.

Ellie she recalls the name being thrown out last night. She hadn’t put two and two together. Ellie was a common name. Of all the people in this city it had to be Elide, Aelin mentally bemoans.

She wonders if Elide knew how her cowboy behaved when she wasn’t around.

It doesn’t matter. Lorcan is all too aware of Aelin’s eyes boring into his skin, and knows he needs to make a quick get away.

“Ellie,” Lorcan pulls away from her. “I just had to see this book shop you are always talking about.”

He kisses her head, and looks at her with feigned remorsefulness. “I must have gotten your shifts mixed up in my head, though. I’m afraid I have to go. We booked a training time for six and I need to brush down Nettie before we start.”

“Oh,” Elide says, a look of genuine disappointment on her face. “That’s fine. Are we still on for a movie tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he promises. He pecks her one more time on the lips and tips his chin towards Aelin. Anger still bubbling in his eyes. “Good day, ma’am.”

Aelin releases a breath when the doors close behind him.

“I’m so sad I missed him.” Elide frowns, tossing her back pack behind the counter. “At least you got to meet him. What did you think? He’s absolutely dreamy, right?”

Aelin chokes back a gag. “Yeah. He was really charming.”

“And get this,” Elide smiles. “He’s a cowboy. Like an actual, real life cowboy. He rides pulls and does team roping. It’s sexy.”

Aelin can’t hide the grimace this time. “You are like my baby sister. I never want to hear the words sexy from your mouth again.”

At least, never in the context of Lorcan. They’d had plenty of boy talk before.

“He even carries a rope.” Elide wags an eyebrow. “Better to tie me up when we-“

Aelin holds a book over her face. “I’m not listening to this! I will file a report with HR.”

Elide laughs. “You are the boss, Lin. You know we don’t have an HR.”

“I need to get one now,” Aelin grumbles. “I don’t need an image of yours and Lorcan’s naked asses in my head.”

She wanted Lorcan out of her head entirely. Along with Rowan and the rest of their cadre.

“Fine,” Elide sighs wistfully. “One day you will be in love and I won’t hold it against you when you want to talk about whatever babe you wind up with.”

Her eyes get a mischievous glint. “Actually- Lorcan has some really cute friends. I could set you up with?”

Aelin’s brain banks. “No. No thank you. I like being alone. I’m more than enough company for myself.”

“Come on, a double date would be fun!” Elide whines and tugs on her arm. “You never go out any more. We could have a great night out.”

An image of the twins cutting lines on the bar flash across her mind and make her shudder.

“I said no, Elide.” Aelin says a bit more harshly then she intends, but Elide gets the point and backs off.

“Sorry. I won’t mention it again.” Instead of anger she looks at Aelin worriedly.

She kind of hates that more.

“Thanks.” She shakes her head and tries to clear the residual stress from her head. “I have to set up a new shelf display. Want to help?”

Elide lights back up at the prospect. She loved designing and organizing. They have a great time setting displays up together and Aelin knew it would take her mind away from the tension she’d created.

She just really hoped that Elide dating Lorcan wouldn’t drag any drama into her own life. Aelin didn’t care what half asses excuses Lorcan made, she wasn’t interested in seeing Rowan again.

Hello! I’m so glad I got this posted today. 😂 I’m hoping to get the next chapter of DRNS out tomorrow. After that, my birthday is next Tuesday and I reaaallly want to do a mass update of all my fics then as a hooray to 21. (Yes. That is what I’m doing for my 21st 🤣) Hope you enjoyed it!

Tag List- (Let me know if you would like to be removed or added!)

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[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Insight ~ J.M.

Request: “... jack morton x male reader and instead of Vera taking the potion to stop the sons of Prometheus from killing jack the reader takes it and he’s had a super hard life to (Vera son if you want because I totally agree with that other post) and while people are going through his pain and memories jack sees the readers crush on him and he teases him about it...” by anon

MASTERLIST

Two words.

All Y/n had to do was say two words, and the entire quart yard took a collective gasp. Even Vera slowly looked over to her son, eyes wide and watery.

Vera had always struggled to have kids. After she’d had her daughter, it had been a miracle. The relationship she’d had her from, Vera didn’t like to talk about, as most of her relationships were. So when her little girl had begged and begged and begged for a siblings, Vera’s only option had been adoption. The two had gone together to meet people and look into children. It had taken a while, because Vera’s daughter had been as picky and precise as Vera was. When they’d found Y/n though, there was an immediate connection. He was quiet and distant and reserved. The little girl had made a joke about how the little boy was just like her mommy, and then a few months later he was in their home and supposed to be part of their family.

Vera and Y/n had never talked about Y/n’s past. The boy had clammed up and shut down every time it was mentioned, so Vera had learned very quickly that it was off limits. She had allowed him to find the time to come to her if he ever wanted to, and allowed him to just be her son. His past didn’t matter - she was his family now. After her daughter and his sister died, they bonded over the lost and clung to each other even more. What were past hardships when they had things to worry about right in front of them? It just hadn’t mattered.

Until now.

The years before the Stones were the worst years. Vera had always thought herself a terrible mom, but when she looked into Y/n’s mind and saw the years before, she realized why he always thought so highly of her and defended her to his dying breath. She saw himself in his eyes. A savior.

One he had betrayed.

Vera still remembered the day her children had been playing without him, and Y/n had offered his sister food from his lunch because she was still hungry. He’d just started opening up, and was a very light hearted, pleasant child. He had just started to really soften and warm up and it was so nice to see it.

To be fair, he hadn’t known she was allergic to peanuts, and he hadn’t known about epi pens, let alone how to use one.

It wasn’t his fault.

He had still never forgiven himself.

All of these things roiled around in the minds of every single person who was in that courtyard and they all looked Y/n and for once each eye that met his saw past all of his guards and protections and through his carefully constructed mask to the boy underneath. The scared, lonely who had only ever hurt any person he’d gotten close to. The child who just wanted love and safety, but believed in his bones he was cursed to experience nothing but suffering. If he had to bring it, he would, because he was simply that bad. He never meant to, but he always would.

The guilt and self hate and hardships he’s endured an entire life time roiled inside each person, and one of the Sons of Prometheus looked at him and asked with a soft voice, “Hw do you bare it?”

He took an even breath. His eyes were watery and he fought tooth and nail to get the tears to go away. His heart was racing and his nails dug into his palm as he desperately tried to keep it together. “Because I have to,” was his response. And they all saw that in his mind, it was true. He had spent the last several years trying to make up for the struggle he brought wherever he went. Protecting Vera from all he could. Making everyone’s life as easy as he could. Working nearly to death to have everything in order and taken care of so everyone could depend on him. Even now he had taken the potion and said the spell that would shove all of the things he was most afraid to show anyone into the heads of the people whose opinion he most cared about. For Vera, so she wouldn’t have to.

But that wasn’t completely true was it?

“Jack’s in danger?” My voice came out much more even than I felt capable of delivering. Inside was a torrential storm. Hurricanes rammed against his skin from the inside, beating against his lungs and heart. tsunami of emotions pounded his stomach, making it twist and hurt. His entire body was aching, and all because he couldn’t get the image of Jack Morton being dead out of his head.

Who could stand the idea of the person they loved being in any kind of danger?

What would stop them from doing everything and anything necessary to save them?

He didn’t just have to do it because Vera needed him. He pushed himself harder so Alyssa was less stressed so that she and Jack could be together with more peace, and he did it because he loved Jack enough to sacrifice himself for their happiness.

He took the brunt of the memory wiping so the wolves would have someone to be mad at other than Vera and Alyssa. He did the hardest work and played the bad guy.

He played the bad guy so that everyone could so easily hate him, and he allowed it to happen to lessen hardship and conflict and struggle. He let his name be a curse and his existence be a regret because if you had someone to throw all your bad emotions at, then you could throw those emotions and be rid of them and move on.

Y/n took on every struggle to lessen the hardships of others, and he did it without complaint or hesitation or doubt.

Vera was the only person who really knew Y/n, and even she didn’t know this.

Turning attention from Y/n, Vera took charge. Y/n stood there, stone cold and put together on the outside as he always was even as he burned and screamed and thrashed on the inside. It didn’t matter that they all knew what he was feeling despite his efforts he was to afraid to SHOW how badly he felt. If he could look strong, people would respect him even more, especially knowing how much he hurt inside. Respect was all he had.

Other than disdain.

When it was over, Y/n didn’t wait for his mother, or the two students to catch up to him. Alyssa and Jack, of all people. The three people he probably cared about the most and hid the hardest from had just seen all of the things he had so long desperately tried to bury, and despite knowing he would have to face them eventually he got in his car and he drove. He had known that this would happen and had planned this by bringing his own ride, which had surprisingly been allowed with little problem. 

He was determined to avoid every single person in that courtyard for as long as he could, even though he knew it wouldn’t be long until he had to face at least one of them.

Listen, he knew forever was out of the question, but he thought he’d get at least a day. A full 24 hours just maybe. Time to compose himself and for the spell to wear off and for him to push it all back down again and organize it like it usually was. Like he always did when he was upset, but this time with desperation because there were three people he was going to have to deal with regularly who knew he was lying through his teeth no matter how believably okay he looked.

He got ten hours before his mom found him.

Really, looking back, he shouldn’t have been surprised. She was the principal at his school. What did he expect?

“Y/n,” Vera began softly. She had a sort of edglessness to her in that moment, and it made Y/n shift. She was as guarded as he was, so to see her regret and pain and love written all over her face... maybe she only felt it fair since she’d seen all of him, that he was allowed to see all of her.

“You don’t have to do this,” Y/n rushed, wanting to bolt. “You really don’t have to. I know it wasn’t my fault. I know that you don’t approve of a lot of the things I do and feel and think. I know you see just how much I am exactly like you and you hate it because you wanted me to be so much happier. Better, for my own benefit. I know I could be an emotional mess and a failure and you’d be more relieved than seeing me be like this. I know how much that hurt you. I also know you hate being pitied, so I took that fall. Please, I hate being pitied too.”

She shook her head, approaching her son. “I don’t pity you, Y/n. I ache for you.” She pulled him into a hug and at first he just let her hug him, but then she didn’t pull away so he finally wrapped his arms around her. Once he hugged her, it was impossible not to melt into her touch. He felt the weight of years of hidden secrets melt off of him. He was glad that if he had to tell a bunch pf people the things he most wished to keep hidden, his mom was one of the people who had to be there. He was glad she knew. “I’m sorry. For your sake, I wished I’d been better at teaching you how to forgive yourself.”

That was fair. “You were too busy teaching me how to do everything else. And without you, I wouldn’t have made it very long.” He squeezed her, burying his face in her neck. “I’m so lucky to have you as a mom. I’m so, SO lucky. I’m... I’m sorry for- I know it’s not my fault but-” And there were the tears.

“It’s okay,” Vera soothed. “It’s okay.”

They stayed there for a while, until Y/ finally cried and then calmed down. They separated and Vera touched his cheek. She gave him the saddest smile and he returned a watery one back. They stayed in her office until Y/n was ready to face people again, and as he left the room he felt a lot better than he’d expected to.

Maybe he’d been wrong about this whole confessions and emotions thing.

His mind changed pretty quickly when two days later he was faced with Alyssa Drake. He expected her to hate him. After all, they’d never gotten along. Alyssa was one of the very many people who thought Y/n was a shitty person. She’d always been clear that she thought he was the worst the Order had to offer. After years of coming nowhere near even getting along or being civil, she had seen into his mind and saw that everything she knew about him was a lie, and that on top of all of that, he was in love with her boyfriend.

Despite all the reasons he was sure she had to loath him, what he got from her when they were stuck on the same duty together was a small smile and a warm greeting. “Hey.”

He treaded carefully. “Hello.”

After a moment, she casually continued, “How have you been?”

Y/n wasn’t about to shut her down. He had no reason to be a jackass to her, and now that Alyssa thought about it, he’d never actually been a rude person. He’d just taken the blame and never corrected assumptions. Even now, when she knew how terrified he was and how much he wanted to be anywhere but with her, having any sort of conversation, he was still considerate and polite enough to respond to her and respond to her in case she needed closure about anything.

“Well enough, considering,” was Y/n’s response.

Alyssa nodded. The conversation was almost between two friends, which was so incredibly bizarre that other members of the Order looked at the two and seemed to be absolutely bewildered. After all they’d seen and the impossible they’d faced, Alyssa Drake and Y/n Stone exchanging friendly small talk was the thing they couldn’t handle. Y/n noticed it and wondered what theories were going around in peoples’ heads. Alyssa just ingored them.

Instead, rather out of nowhere, she mentioned very lightly, “You’re supposed to ask how I’ve been now.” Her eyes twinkled with a sort of light teasing mood, and Y/n almost smiled.

Y/n Stone almost smiled.

“How have you been, Alyssa?”

“Very good, thank you for asking. Jack and I broke everything off officially, after a really long talk. That was hard. But it was a lot better for both of us in the long term. We’ve been struggling since the beginning, and after all we’ve been through it’s time to stop trying for something that’s only going to hurt us. you know?” She smiled at the way Y/n went rigid. “There are options out there for both of us. I think for now I just want to take some time for myself. I have a lot going on, and it’ll be nice to take a breather and not worry about what the hell is going wrong with me and Jack this time.”

Y/n nodded, trying to seem collected even as he was wound tightly. “Are you guys going to stay friends?”

“No,” Alyssa answered. “Not- for now, I mean. We actually both handled the whole break up a lot better than we thought, but we still need time to separate ourselves from each other before we could ever get to being just friends. We did talk about having like weekly check ins, maybe. Because we do still care for each other, and the idea of just disappearing from each others’ lives would suck. But I mean he’s got a lot of issues with me after the whole memory thing that he needs to come to terms with, and it’s been months where he didn’t even know who I was. Months that I had to see him with someone else every day. Eventually I got used to the idea that we weren’t together anymore. Trying to make it now is trying to put something far beyond fixing together again. It just doesn’t work anymore.”

This time when Y/n nodded, it was a lot smoother. “That makes sense.” He looked at her directly. “And you’re doing this because of those reasons and nothing else?”

She met his eyes without stepping down. Not many people could do that. “I’m not going to lie to you, Y/n. I told you, we both have better options for us out there. We had a long talk, and it didn’t come out of nowhere. It was triggered by something. But that’s all. Just because something starts something, doesn’t mean that something is the reason it ends.”

Fair enough. It was something he could accept. He had the opinion that they were bad for each other anyway, and they’d probably seen that. All the many hours Y/n had wondered why they even bothered after everything. The annoyances and doubts he’d had, not because he thought he had a chance with Jack, but because he saw how much they were both suffering and thought they deserved better. They’d both seen those thoughts and recognized them as having merit. Despite emotional idiocy, Y/n was very smart. His sense had been just what they needed to see that it really was pointless. At this point they were just hurting each other, and what was the point of love if it hurt?

Y/n wouldn’t argue with a decision he agreed with.

He would however argue if Jack tried to make a move on him, because he was absolutely not down to be a rebound or pity dated or whatever reason Jack Morton might find interest in Y/n Stone now that Y/n’s feelings were out in the open and Jack was single.

The rets of the night Y/n and Alyssa were silent. It was a comfortable silence, but Y/n had a lot on his mind and Alyssa seemed to sense that. He was appreciative for her not pressing her, and he was beginning to think she might know that better than he wanted her to.

Y/n saw Jack from a distance a few times for the next few weeks. He kept expecting Jack to approach him, but it never happened. It took a few times before Jack even acknowledged Y/n being there at all. When Y/n stopped immediately looking away and then looking back to see if Jack was still looking, or just running away altogether, Jack started smiling at him. When they found each other doing something together for any reason, Jack was perfectly polite and never seemed to flirt or mention Y/n’s feelings or his break up with Alyssa. 

It was like Sons of Prometheus had never happened, aside from the fact that Jack and Alyssa were nice to him now and would shut people up if they talked bad about Y/n around them. Which was a major shock for everyone, including Y/n, but also had absolutely not been what Y/n had expected. He’d been gearing himself up for them to use it against him at first, getting revenge for all the things they were mad at him for. After the conversation with Alyssa, he’d expected to have to deal with Jack trying to use Y/n as a rebound. Neither happened.

A month later, Jack finally talked to Y/n. It was in a completely normal setting, where they’d both been getting lunch and Jack had asked to sit with him. Y/n had agreed, intrigued by what was going through Jack’s head. When the other man just made small talk, Y/n finally snapped. “What’s your deal?”

Jack rose an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Y/n thought about his words carefully. He rarely lost his cool or talked without meaning to. His anxiety was getting to him more than he’d realized. He didn’t know how to ask Jack about that day and his reaction to Y/n’s feelings for him without actually bringing up said feelings. His eyes fell to his food. He realized he was glaring, but couldn’t force his face to smooth out like he normally could. Finally he looked back up at Jack, who he realized had stilled, waiting patiently for Y/n to collect his thoughts. “I don’t understand what’s going on. Why you and Alyssa are being friends with me.”

“Why?” Jack asked casually, returning to his food. “Because you’re in love with me?”

Slamming his fork down, Y/n leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t say it out loud like it doesn’t mean anything.” He felt suddenly very vulnerable and defensive. For the first time since his sister had died, someone really knew how he felt. They knew the real him, past lies and what he wanted people to see when they looked at him. Except this time he didn’t know what they were feeling or thinking - not even in the slightest. He absolutely hated it.

Jack focused on his food for a few seconds, but he didn’t take a bite. “Y/n...” He looked up, but this time his face wasn’t a sort of detached amusement, it was full of conflict and hesitation. “Alyssa told me about what she said to you.”

Y/n’s jaw worked. “Has anything changed since then?” His voice was a lot more quiet and full of hope than he wanted it to be. Crap! He wasn’t supposed to be like this! He wasn’t supposed to be the one excited for this change. He was supposed to be strong and ready to turn down Jack, because Jack needed to think about himself before he just humped into a new relationship. And yet here they were, and Jack hadn’t mentioned any interest in Y/n once, and Y/n was the one who was still pining.

Shaking his head, Jack didn’t seem to pick up on Y/n’s silent, accidental plea. There was something he wasn’t saying though and Y/n shifted, suddenly very nervous. Was he about to get shot down? Was Jack about to make it so very clear that they could only ever be what they were now? Pleasant acquaintances, where one of them were in love with the other, but the other could never feel the same. Jack seemed to look into Y/n’s eyes and see those thoughts, and he seemed to... smile.

“You know, everyone always thinks that me and Alyssa were in love the first time we looked at each other.” His smile grew, amusement dancing across his features. “That we were each other’s first option, from the very beginning.”

That surprised Y/n. “You weren’t?”

Jack shook his head. “You were my first option.” Y/n went solid, his eyes widening. He looked like a shocked statue, frozen forever in perpetual stunned silence. When it didn’t seem he was going to recover anytime soon, Jack continued speaking. “I was on a tour with her when I saw you. Alyssa noticed the way I looked at you and laughed at me. AT the time, I knew a LOT more about the school than her because my grandpa had taught me about it, in preparation for getting into the Order. You remember the whole thing between me and Coventry.” Y/n nodded. “She made some comment about how I didn’t know EVERYTHING about this school, because I was showing her up and she wanted to knock me down a peg. Told me she dared me to ask you out, and had this really smug look on her face.” He chuckled at the memory. “Well, easy to say that when she was helpful and helped me join the Order - as much as she’ll refuse to admit it - it was a pretty easy pick between the pretty girl who had been so nice to me, and the really hot guy who seemed to be a total dick.”

Y/n blushed. “You’re so full of shit,” he accused.”

A grin light up Jack’s face. “I’m absolutely not.” An unsure smile rose to Y/n’s face as well. He picked up his fork, busying himself with his food as Jack picked up the story again. “I was becoming a tree that day.” His face turned odd, like a mix of horror and disbelief. Jack seemed to be having a hard time believing it had happened, even though he’d been there. “Me and Alyssa were already talking about breaking up. Things between us had already gotten so convoluted, and she had never really gotten over my attraction to you. Among with other things, of course. That day, she chose the Promethians instead of me. I would have been able to get over it if she hadn’t tried to destroy our entire relationship to get her magic back. Like I understand how much her magic means to her but...” His smile had vanished and Y/n hurt for the boy.

He’d never cared as much about magic as his mother did, but watching her had made him understand the worth of it to others. To prioritize that over someone you’re supposed to be in love with though... that had to hurt. “I’m sorry.”

Jack shrugged it off. “It’s fine. It just really proved to me that we were done, and had been for a while. We could have made it if my memory hadn’t been wiped, maybe. If we weren’t on two so very different paths. If no matter how hard I tried she was just ALWAYS out of my reach.” He looked at Y/n. “If she hadn’t been right about me still liking you after all this time.”

Y/n felt his heart begin to race. “How the hell do you like me? You said yourself, I was a total asshole.”

Nodding, Jack seemed to agree at first, even as a smile curved his lips upward again. “You’re a really good actor, Y/n. But every actor has their weak moments, and every person makes mistakes. You aren’t as rock solid as you think you are. I saw the way you looked at my friends. Like you wanted to protect them. And how you took credit for things that were absolutely not your fault. I kept saying it was just to move on and get it over with... I dismissed everything you did that showed how kind you are, until Vera said something when she called us out for having our memories back that caught my attention. He said that we couldn’t mess up. That more than our reputations were on the line. Randall replied about how we didn’t care about her reputation but she said it wasn’t hers she was worried about.” Y/n suddenly couldn’t look at Jack, and that seemed it was all that was needed to confirm whatever theory had been bouncing around. “I’ve only ever seen Vera Stone prioritize one thing over her own judgement. I know she liked us, but you said something to her to get her to be lenient with us, didn’t you?”

A shrug was all Jack got at first, but when the silence stretched, Y/n sighed and finally admitted, “Yeah, I did. I told her I trusted your capabilities. I-” He swallowed. “I told her that I couldn’t let you die.”

“You told her you were in love with me,” Jack added. Y/n nodded. Jack chuckled and Y/n rose an eyebrow. “I’m that irresistible, huh?”

The tension shattered and both of them started a soft giggle. “Look who’s talking, Mr. I Fell Because I Saw You Once.” Jack rolled his eyes at that, but both of them did grow into full laughter. They thought about the several times both of them could have been so much happier with each other but were too busy creating an image or fighting a losing battle or believing everything they heard instead of getting to know the other person instead. “I’m an idiot,” Y/n sighed when they calmed down. 

“Yeah,” Jack agreed. “So am I. Wanna go on a date with me?”

Y/n grinned. “You free on Saturday?”

[fantasticstoryteller]

New Amsterdam Chapter 60

Matt felt slightly ill at the description of the stuff Peter had put up with (you don’t understand, I signed with his mother and his mother was the sweetest, most wonderful person you could ever meet) from his landlord. Things like his utilities suddenly being separate from his rent, when they were all included before. Things like calling for someone to fix his heater, being told if he wasn’t there to let the maintenance guy in it wouldn't get fixed, and then not sending the maintenance guy for three days—when it was negative ten degrees Fahrenheit outside. Things like the electricity in his apartment being “randomly” cut off—shortly before it was time for him to pay his rent. Then this latest stunt—changing the date of rent collection with two day’s notice.

He was also surprised at Peter’s attitude about it. As far as he could tell, the young man thought the shitty behavior he was experiencing was just stuff that happened to him, and Matt would desperately like to know why he thought that way. He was also shocked that Peter—Peter actually seemed to like and trust Deadpool. And Deadpool showed a side around Peter that Matt suspected no one else got to see; he was gentle and loving. And teasing, Matt recalled about the ball.

It was—odd, to say the least. Deadpool was explosion, noise and chaos. He was still those things around Peter but—they were softer, muted somehow. And Matt could not for the life of him figure out how the unassuming young man in front of him had possibly gotten that reaction out of Deadpool.

Matt could also tell that the feelings were mutual. Peter’s heartbeat slowed and his breathing evened out when Deadpool touched him. Even when he was scolding Deadpool his heartbeat had that slow, loving pattern. He relaxed around the murderous mercenary—and had even, at one point, called the man a hero. Which Deadpool, with a modesty that Matt couldn't quite credit even though he’d heard it with his own ears, had denied.

There was also something disturbingly familiar about the young man that Matt couldn't place, like a nostalgic taste on his tongue he couldn't quite recognize. He tried to set the sensation aside as he concentrated on the conversation and made mental notes even as he (with Peter’s permission) recorded it to go over it again later (with his law partner this time). He would bring the full force of the law down on the man—and if that didn’t work, if he managed to squeak away through a legal loophole somehow, well—Daredevil could pay him a visit.

At the end of the conversation, Matt turned off the recording device (an old cassette player—not as convenient as digital, but harder to hack and, more importantly, had grooves on the different buttons in shapes designed to tell what those buttons were for) and put it in his bag. “Thank you, Mr. Parker,” Matt said, having learned the young man’s full name over the course of the gentle interrogation—and over the dinner where Wade flirted shamelessly with his boyfriend and his boyfriend clumsily flirted back.

The fact that Deadpool, the same manic man that had literally blown himself up to take out a drug cartel dabbling in human trafficking, had a boyfriend that loved him was just a little mind-blowing. And a little thought provoking. One of the things that had happened when they were eating was Wade and Peter sitting, back to back, on the couch. After a moment Matt realized why—Wade didn’t want to show his skin (even Matt knew that the merc was sensitive about it)—and Peter respected that. They were an oddly good match. An oddly endearing match.

Matt hoped to Hell that they managed to find and stop whomever put the hit out on Peter, because if anything happened to that young man Deadpool would raze the city to the ground.

After dinner Deadpool gave Peter a quick hug and and cuddle and said he was going to walk Matt home; make sure he got home safely. Matt almost said something—until he realized that Deadpool was simply reinforcing the helpless persona that Matt wore as his civilian disguise. He didn’t believe that Deadpool was really going to walk him home—and was surprised when the guy stopped at a taco truck and ordered a huge amount of food.

“Did you not get enough to eat?” asked Matt.

“Of course I did,” Deadpool said as he went to pay the vendor—who waved it off.

“No payments from you, Senor Pool,” the man said with a heavy accent. “If not for you, who knows what happen to my sister, eh?”

“Just a masked madman doing my duty to protect the city!” Deadpool replied in the same voice he’d used before jumping off the catwalk above the gang.

They walked a little ways away, the smell of the food hanging around them before Matt made himself ask, “What is the food for?”

“A summoning spell,” said Deadpool.

Matt stopped walking. He could tell, from the tone of voice and steady heartbeat, that Deadpool was absolutely serious. “This I have got to see,” he said firmly. Deadpool started laughing and Matt half-heartedly smacked the merc with his cane. “Come on,” he said as he ducked into an alley and climbed up the side of the building—only to be overtaken by Wade who used a retractable grappling hook to get to the top. “All right,” said Matt when they were at the roof. “What are you doing?”

“I told you,” said Deadpool as the paper bag around the Mexican food crinkled several times. “I’m summoning!”

“You could try calling,” a dry voice announced behind them. Matt whirled, dropping into defensive stance. There were only two people that could come upon him unannounced like that—and both of them had tried to kill him. “Cute,” said the voice.

The feminine voice. The young, familiar feminine voice. Matt slowly pulled himself out of his stance as he listened for something from the girl’s direction. Then, realization dawned. “How’s Dora?” he asked as he (partially) relaxed.

“Ponyo!”

“Dora says ‘hi’,” the girl responded.

“I didn’t call, because you never gave me your name.”

“I didn’t?” A pause. “I didn’t. Well, I can’t, but I’m going by Angel for now.” Matt heard the rustle of wings. “What did you want me for, Deadpool?” There was the crinkling sound of the bag being opened and the familiar sounds of mastication as the girl began to eat.

“Can you cook?”

“Yeah, Dad and Papa made sure I could.” The sound of fingers being licked as something moved along the girl’s chest with an odd sound—like it was rasping over metal? “I can do pancakes, most Mexican and Italian—don’t ask me to do tamales, they never come out right for some reason, but yeah. I can cook.” More chewing noises.

“Great! I want you to watch over Peter!”

“That might be a good idea,” Matt admitted. “The young man made soup explode.”

A pause. “Really?” the girl asked. She sounded a cross between impressed and horrified.

“Really,” confirmed Deadpool.

“Huh.” More chewing. A swallow. Then, “I can do it, but it won’t be free.”

“I figured that. Whatcha need, Baby Girl?”

Matt, expecting a cash amount, was mildly surprised when the girl said, “A new sketchbook and colored pencils.”

“Right. One drawing pad and crayons.”

“Pencils.”

“What’s wrong with crayons?”

A rustle of feathers in what Matt assumed was the winged girl’s version of a shrug. “Nothing’s wrong with crayons. I use pencils.”

“Deal.”

“Deal. So, what brings you out to this negotiation? Are you here to draw up an official contract?” The girl sounded curious, as opposed to offended.

Matt felt a slight chill. The girl knew he was a lawyer. How? He hadn’t told her what he did, he hadn’t had much of a conversation with her before at all. She was also, he knew from the theater incident, aware of Daredevil to the point that she even knew his turf of protection. He knew better than to ask, however. “Deadpool’s boyfriend has a landlord that is pulling some illegal stunts, and he’s hired me to fix it—legally,” he added as he calmly explained.

He sensed the girl nod. “Do you want me to read the contract to you?” she asked. “I speak legalese, one of my uncles made sure I could.”

“Why would your uncle make sure you could?” asked Matt with curiosity.

Both the girl and Deadpool burst out laughing. After a full, solid minute of laughter the girl gasped and sighed. “Oh! Tell you what,” and Matt could tell from the tone that she was grinning, “if you can guess who I am, I’ll tell you everything I know.” Deadpool, amazingly, managed to laugh harder and Matt heard his body hit the roof as he doubled over with mirth.

The girl simply took another bite of food, and began to chew.

[thesmokingguns]

Wendy and The Lost Boys

Chapter 7

Sasha ran down the sorority stairs headed to the phone where she had been told there was a call for her. Usually it was just Tommy’s mother asking her to come home for the weekend or sometimes Len would call to go out. But it was the Thursday before she took her last final and she was trying to cram in as much study time as she could. Len knew this because he had come by earlier with takeout for her to have and a promise that he’d take her dancing tomorrow night. Which she had to say no to despite wanting to go out. It had to be Tommy’s mother, she decided as she slid on the couch. She probably wanted her help in the kitchen and to teach her how to cook some more.

“Hello?” She greeted the person, sliding into the chair next to the phone. Her head was swimming from the rereading of her notes. She had been in the sorority house since this morning. After she had finished her history exam she had locked herself up to try and get ready for the English exam in the morning. She was ready to be done with this semester and have the month off before going back in June. Sasha was planning on spending time at the Lee family house on her break and she was ready to hear about what she’d be cooking this upcoming week.

“Hey, Angel.” The sound of Nikki’s voice threw her off. He had never called her at school. She was always the one showing up at the apartment or shows. They would make plans when she was with him but hearing his voice on the phone was new. She had been so sure it was Tommy’s mother,  “We’re all going out tonight and I wanted to see if you’d come along. I can come pick you up?” he offered.

“I have to take a final tomorrow that’s half my grade.” She explained feeling like an idiot. There were times like this where she felt like a kid. “But I’ll be at the show tomorrow night.” It was his birthday tomorrow and despite him not saying anything to anyone about it she had made sure she placed an order at the bakery for a cake and was going to head over to see him before she had to take her final at noon.

“Such a good girl staying in to study.” He teased her, making her roll her eyes, “How is studying going?” She looked at the receiver and wondered what was going on that made him want to talk to her. Nikki and her had rules to the thing that was going on between them. They did things like couples might do, like go out together to the movies or last week when they had gone shopping together. He had been so patient as she tried clothes on and it was like he liked having a  say in her everyday life. She had been able to figure out a couple gifts for his birthday as well; Sasha was set on making this day special for him.

“I feel really stupid.” She admitted tucking her knees under her chin and lighting a cigarette, “I just don’t know if I’m smart enough to be here. I’ve been a mess taking tests all week. I never had trouble in school before so it’s weird trying so hard.” It was the first time she verbalized her fears and the way she took a breath after made her realize how much she needed to talk about it.

“Don’t worry. You’re the smartest person I know. I’m sure you’re going to do great, Angel.” She loved how Nikki always called her Angel. Since he wasn’t a sentimental person, the fact he had given her a nickname mattered. Usually Nikki just referred to girls as babes of babe. But when he saw Sasha and got to meet her it was different.

*Flashback January 20 1981*

Nikki was waiting for the drummer to meet him at the apartment but the kid was running late. He had to work tonight and scheduled an afternoon practice on purpose so he could get there on time. As if he knew that Nikki was getting mad,  the drummer burst into the apartment with a blonde girl behind him wearing a school uniform. Nikki did a double take to the girl that was trailing behind Tommy. Her white shirt was tucked into a plaid skirt she had rolled shorter so it hit her thighs instead of her knees, knee high white socks and white Keds that looked like they were fresh out of the box. She was holding a sweater in her hand despite it being chilly out. Her blonde hair was down, ucked behind her ears, and she was laughing as she took a drag of a cigarette.

“Sorry, dude, had to make a quick pit stop to break this delinquent out of school.” She rolled her eyes at Tommy, turning to look at the skinny bassist who seemed pissed off at the pair of them. He glared at her as she threw her sweater on the couch before sitting on it like she didn’t want to catch whatever was on there.

“You shouldn’t show up to practice late with your girlfriend. That isn’t what I’m looking for in someone serious about the band.” He was in a bad mood and didn’t need an audience brought to the apartment that was supposed to be for the band they were forming. Sasha scrunched her nose as she looked up from where she had been digging in her bag..

“Ew, Dream On!” The way she used the slang made Nikki want to roll his eyes. Obviously, she was a teenager like the idiot drummer, “ Tommy’s not my boyfriend. That’s super gross.” She said watching Tommy laugh as he settled behind his drum kit. They were thick as thieves so whenever anyone thought they dated it was just a weird place for either of them to imagine being.

“She’s like my sister, dude. My mom would legit kill us both. Though she’s going to kill you for cutting class.” Tommy said pointing a drumstick at her. She shrugged toeing off her shoes and tucking her feet under her. It was just great that she was making herself completely at home, NIkki thought sarcastically.

“You have been talking up this band so let’s hear what you boys got.” Nikki didn’t like loud mouth girls and she seemed to be the type to always have an opinion. The way that her blue eyes were twinkling, amused at his frustration was just setting him off more. He nodded at Tommy and they started jamming. He didn’t know why he kept looking up at her to see how she was responding to the music. She was quiet watching them both as if she just wanted to take in what she was seeing. It was good that she didn’t interrupt them because Nikki was sure that he would yell at her. A half hour later the guys were high fiving. Nikki moved to the fridge grabbing beers and tossing one to the drummer. He looked at the girl smoking on the couch, she had gotten a book from somewhere and was reading it, no longer interested in what the guys were up to..

“Hey,” she didn’t look up at him, only took another drag of her cigarette, turning the page to her book. Her Catholic school girl skirt was bunched up around her legs showing a lot of skin and he wasn’t sure how he should feel about seeing all of that. She looked young, maybe 15-16 at the most and he felt weird looking at her, thinking about what was under that uniform. “Hey, Angel.” He said the name teasingly over the uniform she was wearing but when she looked up at him smirking she might as well have been an Angel. She almost knocked him on his ass flashing him such a smile.

“Yes, Lucifer?” He tossed her a beer, smiling that she could give it back to him when teased and because the way she looked with that toothy grin he couldn’t help himself. “Thanks.” He watched her tap the top before cracking it open. Nikki was getting ready to make fun of her but she tipped the can to her mouth gulping it down and licking her lips turning to look at him after chugging the beer in under a minute. Maybe she wasn’t as young as he originally thought she was, “Your beer is flat.” She said crushing the can and turning to look back at her book, “When can we leave?” She asked Tommy without looking at him. The drummer liked how she didn’t give any attention to Nikki. Usually girls were all over him but her indifference was pissing the bassist off and it was visual.

“Have to get you back to the suburbs before your bedtime?” Nikki asked, glaring at the girl. His attitude was back now that she had made fun of the beer he had given to her, Sasha turned to look at him taking in his appearance for a second before nodding as if she was confirming something to herself. She tucked her book back into her bag

“You were the shitty bassist in London. When I lived off the Strip we’d all go watch you open for whatever good band was playing.” He didn’t believe in hitting women but at that point he wanted to slap her mouth but she wasn’t done yet , “God, I hope you don’t write the songs for whatever this is because no one wants to hear the whiny pop songs anymore.” He hated her. He gave Tommy a look and the drummer was making a face at her to stop. “Didn't you give the lead singer's girlfriend The Clap? You were the cause of the big outbreak in the strip last summer.” She stood up from the couch picking up her sweater and shrugging into it and looking at Tommy. “I’m going to wait in the van. Bye Sixx.” The fact she knew so much about him and he didn’t know a thing about her made him madder. He was going to tell Tommy never to bring this creature around him again. He didn't care who she was to him.

“You wait a second, Angel.” He was stalking across the living room the stupid nickname still rolling off his tongue because he hadn’t bothered to ask her name and Angel just fit this little devil. She turned looking at him, this amused bored look on her face as she stared up at him, “I’m not going to let some 14 year old bad mouth me in my own house.” He sneered at her. Tommy was jumping up to break them up but Sasha reached out, her hand caressing Nikki’s cheek. The bassist stiffened under her touch. She wasn’t pawing at him or rubbing against him trying to get something from him. It was this leath like touch on his cheek that was so different from the harsh words she had spoken.

“I’m 17. I’ll be 18 this summer.” She corrected him, her blue eyes locked into his. He felt like he was drowning making direct eye contact with her. She tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and took his cigarette placing it between her lips, “See you soon, Sixx.” She tugged his ear watching the way his eyes widened in confusion before lightening the cigarette and going to wait for Tommy in the van.

*End Flashback*

“I think I’m ready to have sex with you.” She blurted out. Her and Nikki had been fooling around for a few weeks but they hadn’t gone the whole way yet. Since it was his birthday tomorrow she felt like now was a good time. It had been over a year since she had sex so as much as she was worried about it there was a safety in doing it with Nikki.

“Should I come over to your dorm now?” He teased but his mind was racing with what she just told him. He had known that they were building up to it and she was going slower then he had ever done in the past but he was still surprised she was ready for that. Hooking up was one type of intimacy but the thought of being buried inside of her was something different.

“If I wasn’t afraid I’d fail out of school if I didn’t study I’d say yes.” She looked up to see someone walking by looking at the phone she was using, “Tomorrow night after the Whisky will probably be crazy but I can rent a hotel room for Saturday night to give us privacy?” She offered. Losing her virginity had been kind of a shitty experience so now she wanted the bells and whistles she hadn’t gotten. And she was willing to provide them all.

“We can go tomorrow after the show. I’d rather be with you anyway.” He didn’t say this because he just wanted to sleep with her and that made him instantly regret the words. If he let his emotions show too much she was going to get hurt. He liked Sasha but the truth of his life and what would happen always leaked in.

“Well I’ll see you tomorrow night and we can decide. I have to go, Sixx.” She bit her lip wishing she had another pack of smokes down her so she could smoke her anxiety away.

“Angel, if you don’t want to or-“

“I want to, Nikki. See you tomorrow.” She hung up headed to study for the rest of the night and planned what she was going to do the next morning.

Nikki was at the bar drinking with a few of his friends. It was fairly early into the morning at this point and he wanted the get home soon because she was in his head. He had made it very clear to her that he couldn’t date her but he didn’t expect to be the one who couldn’t get her out of his head. It was becoming a problem trying to think when she was the only one on his mind. He couldn’t believe he had called her earlier to come out. And how he was excited to just hear her talking about school and to be there for her. And how she had surprised him at the end. Jesus fucking Christ. Now all he could think about was having sex with her. He knew she hadn’t done anything outside of their hooking up since her ex. And that had been over a year ago now. He was going through all the things he wanted to show her tomorrow night when he felt a hand tap his shoulder. He turned looking at the pretty blonde, who seemed oddly familiar.

“I’m Lita.” She said with a confident smile flashing at him. Usually girls would be looking back for their friends to give them encouraging nods but she didn’t need any of that. He nodded his head.

“Rick.” He had no idea why the fuck he was lying about his name but knew that must mean he was about to get into trouble.

“I have half a Quaalude.” She held up the pill before reaching over and crushing it between her fingers over his drink. Nikki knew at this point he was going to fuck the blonde in front of him. His friends were all giving him these looks and he couldn’t let them down. He downed the drink and gave her an easy smile.

It was a cool LA morning and Sasha had her jeans on for once, tucked inside white high heels boots, a T-shirt she probably stole from one of the guys and this new white leather jacket that Len had given her as an early Christmas gift. She was really unsure of Len and what his angle was with things but the jacket was nice. He had mentioned meeting her after her last exam to talk about something so she agreed to a lunch. Since she had been hooking up with Nikki she wondered if he was going to officially stop seeing her. Even though they weren’t technically dating a lot of girls at the sorority considered them a pair.

She was holding the cake in one hand and juggling the presents she had gotten for Nikki in the other, a balancing act as she made it inside the apartment. When she got inside she rolled her eyes at the tree that someone had tried to paint black and was decorated with random clothing left behind from girls. She thought she spotted a condom tied in a branch but she wasn’t planning on investigating. Sasha set his presents down on the couch and grabbed the cake sticking some candles inside and moving towards his room.

Nikki had always talked about how shitty his life was growing up with his mom. He never really got to have a birthday cake or anything really to make him feel special. Sasha wanted him to know that someone cared, it was his birthday and that he was special. Even though they had agreed they weren’t anything serious Nikki was someone she was close to and she really did care about. She had this nervous energy building up inside of her. An image of him scruffy and hungover from the night before was in her mind, the lazy lovely smile he’d give her seeing the cake. The warmth of his kiss when he thanked her. It was all playing in her mind as she started towards his room.

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear-.” She smiled pushing the door and her heart sank. The image of his lips on hers turning to fire and ice all at once. “Nikki?” He shot a look over his shoulder, stunned seeing her holding a cake in the door frame, a blonde woman in bed bent over in front of him as he fucked her. The man was so caught off guard he felt his heart get stuck in his throat and wondered if he was hallucinating his actual worst nightmare.

“Didn’t you say your name was Rick?” The woman didn’t seem bothered as she looked over her shoulder and the realization of who she was hit Sasha. She turned from the woman to Nikki trying to get her composure so that no one saw her crying or throwing up.

“His name is Nikki Sixx.” She whispered out, swallowing hard to try and not cry. His eyes were on her and she saw he had the decency to throw a blanket over the woman well he reached for his pants in a pile on the ground. She didn’t want him coming near her right now. “I just brought you a cake and some presents that are on the couch because it’s your birthday and I wanted to make sure someone remembered it and for it to be special because I know how -“ Someone came behind her blowing out the candle on the cake and taking it from her hands before she dropped it. Also saving her from some of the embarrassment she was facing talking about nothing as she freaked out . The door was being shut, her eyes on Nikki’s as he looked back, not sure what to say to her but the presence of someone else stopping him from following her . Sasha was forced to see who had gotten her out of the room and saw Tommy standing there.

“Are you okay?” His hands were on her shoulders trying to keep her eye contact on him. She nodded her head weakly, the tears slipping out the sides. “Oh Jesus, Sasha.” Tommy was wrapping her in a hug in the living room looking towards the window. He knew Nikki would come out in a second to get and talk to her so he wanted to get her out of the situation. “I’ll take you to Denny’s and buy you a coffee.” He promised moving them closer to the window. He was thankful she nodded getting out of there.

Tommy was driving in the van with Sasha silent besides him. The tears were more under control now as she laid her head against the cool window. She had asked him to drive her straight to her exam. He knew better than to say anything to her or try to ask how she was doing. Mainly because she might start crying hysterically at any point. She licked her lips reaching out to take one of his cigarettes. She was tucking her legs up trying to be as small as she could.

“I think I’m going to sleep with Vince tonight.” Tommy choked at her words looking over at her to see if she was serious or not, “I think I need to just rip the bandaid off and sleep with someone to get it out of my system. Plus, Vince won’t say no and Nikki will be so fucking mad.” she nodded her head to herself, rolling the filter of the cigarette in her fingers as she tried to hatch her plan.

“Well, you’re friends with Beth so unless you’re going to ask her to sleep with her husband I don’t think your plan is going to work.” Tommy pointed out, which earned hm a look of annoyance from her, “Aren’t you going out with that guy from school? You know he sent mom and dad a gift basket for christmas?” she looked over at Tommy wondering how he knew that one.

“Len? He’s nice.” she shrugged her shoulders wanting to add that he wasn’t Nikki and she couldn’t even think of the man, “Tommy, I can’t compete with Lita Ford. Like out of all the fucking people he brings home that’s who I have to walk in on him with? I’m literally going to have fucking PTSD flashbacks listening to The Runaways now.”

“THATS WHERE SHE'S FROM!” it was like it had just dawned on him where he had seen her before. He apologized and she just shook her head at him, “Just take your exam. I’ll pick you up tomorrow from the dorms and we can go back home. Mom will cook for us and there will be no more sadness. She can cure hurt with food. You’ve experienced it.” she nodded her head wiping any stray tear from her face.

“Thanks for rescuing me in there.” she said as they pulled up to her school. “Sorry you’re always rescuing me.” she added.Tommy pushed her shoulder gently smiling at her.

“Listen, I had to wake up to terrible off key singing and then you went into a crazy rant. I was putting myself out of misery blowing out that candle.” he always made her feel better by teasing her like that Tommy gave her another hug and rubbed her head, “Also wash and return my shirt when you’re done with it. That’s a great Kiss shirt.” she smiled getting out of his van and waving. It was starting off to be a terrible day but at least she knew that Tommy would always make her laugh.

Nikki knew he was going to mess everything up. He had warned her that this all would be something that would get her hurt. He didn’t mean to have sex with Lita but they had gotten back to the apartment only about an hour before Sasha had showed up. They had been doing drugs and drinking so he didn’t have any common sense. He figured if he just fucked the woman she would leave the apartment and he could be on with his day. But now all he could think about was the shocked look on her face with those blue eyes staring at him, tears stinging as she saw him with someone else. He looked at the presents wrapped on the couch and just felt worse about everything. He had never had someone try to make his birthday matter like this and he had fucked it up spectacularly.

He picked up one of the packages wondering if he should bother opening them or if he had ruined everything now. He tugged open one of the presents smirking when he saw a new TRex shirt; she never had given him his short back and this was a sign she never would. There was another box with a silver cross in it which made him smile because he always talked to her about stage props and how he wanted this imagery with the band. She listened to him when he talked. The last box was a leather journal because he was always just writing lyrics or journaling. This was exactly why he didn’t want to hurt her. She did things that were kind and thoughtful and he had hurt her as he had promised that he would do.

He was a fuck up. He had fucked up what he had with Sasha and he knew that there was no coming back from this one. At least not without effort,

[drewcline]

A TASTE OF FRIDA 01, jj.m

AHHHH! First part where I explain a lot of things so I hope is not boring lol. Anyway kinda insecure as always but I hope it’s good. Enjoyy! Also let me know what you think!

Frida Montgomery did not know when she realized she was in love with JJ Maybank.

Maybe it was when he took care of her Dalmatian puppy when her family—herself included—had to go away for a week to visit some important person, Frida thinks it was the CEO of an important hotel but is not completely sure, when her parents completely forgot about the dog living in their own house.

Maybe it was that one time they had gotten out of bed because they were hungry and tried to cook some pancakes in her kitchen. The key word being “tried” since none of them were exactly Gordon Ramsay and had burnt most of them, but she remembers how much he had made her laugh that evening.

Or maybe—and most definitely—it had been the first day she met him. On the beach, at a party she had not wanted to attend since she was not a big fan of drinking or smoking and was way too shy to dance with strangers, but she had been way too mesmerized when she first gazed into his indigo orbs to deny his advances.

Why? JJ Maybank did absolutely not go for girls like her. She was not exactly skinny neither had a lot of curves. She did not have the desired flat belly, nor the big ass or the round boobs and let’s not mention the cellulite on her thighs. Her personality was also a big no in his book. Frida was awkward, shy, silent and a prude.

JJ Maybank and Frida Montgomery were polar opposites. Yet she had felt driven towards the boy when he had asked her to dance.

“Hi there, Frida right? You seem kinda lonely.” His smooth tone was carried by the wind on that particular night. When the girl did not immediately answer—since she was worried thinking on why the hell JJ was talking to her—the golden boy cleared his throat in an awkward and uncomfortable manner. “Come on! Dance with me! Live a little!”

He took both of her clammy hands on his calloused ones, making the quiet girl stand up and trip over her own feet.

“Wow there-“ He laughed and his eyes shined a little thanks to light reflected by the full moon. Frida blushed and stuttered a response.

“Sorry, I-I, uh, I’m kinda awkward if you haven’t already noticed?”

Frida internally cursed herself. Why. Why. Why did she had to make a fool out of herself when probably the most handsome guy on Outer Banks was asking her to dance.

Thankfully, JJ did not seem to mind and brushed it off with the movement of his hand, taking her waist with both of his tanned and naked arms. She reminded herself that, she was beautiful and confident and that is who she had to be to wrap her arms around his neck, taking a step closer to him, looking directly into his eyes. Something gleamed on them but was gone in a second.

She did not remember the rest of the night, regardless of the fact that she was sober. She felt drunk. Drunk off his heated gaze, or maybe his hands on every bit of her skin, his whispers on her ear. The tone of his voice, the warm touch that made her feel like a goddess, the secrecy and forbidden aspect of their dances and conversations, Frida does not know what made her do what she did next. It’s not like herself, she remembers thinking. But fuck, she does not regret kissing him.

JJ remembers the touch of her pale pink lips on his. It was not the best kiss he had ever experienced, but something about how Frida had looked at him before taking the courage to place her mouth on his had him rolling his eyes backwards. It was a slow kiss. Mouths barely opened, both of their hands holding each other’s faces closer. A romantic kiss that had him infatuated with the feeling in a nanosecond.

Why the hell had he not been kissed like that before? The passion, the intimacy of it, he couldn’t believe Frida Montgomery was the one making him feel so many different emotions at the same time.

That night, Frida had let JJ into her bedroom. First boy that had entered her favorite place in the world, and when the kisses had started to get a little bit more heated, when he had touched her thigh and moved up and up and up, she did not stop him. That night she lost her virginity to JJ Maybank.

“Wait woah-wait. You sure?” His raspy voice had asked her naked figure underneath him.

“Yeah, virginity is a burden I want to get rid of it and you are like...a sex expert or something right? So just do it.” Her confidence faltered when she met his eyes. Was that concern she noticed on his ocean eyes? “Only if you want to, of course.” Shyness replacing confidence.

He scoffed and leaned down to place a gentle bite on her already marked neck thanks to the kisses he had placed on a secluded spot at the beach. “Of course I want to. But I don’t want you to regret your first time. So, I’m only doing this if you promise me you are completely sure you won’t hate my guts tomorrow morning or when you eventually meet the guy you wanna marry.”

“Or girl.”

“Huh?”

“Guy or girl I wanna marry.” Frida looked almost conflicted but JJ did not look disgusted, turned on or like she was joking. He placed a sweet kiss on her collarbone and nodded. “Or girl.”

She smiled then, and he smiled back before taking off his boxers.

That night, it had been the start of their secret relationship. Completely platonical. No feelings, just sex. At least for the boy, because Frida had to pretend that the Pogue was just the distraction she needed in her monotonous life and had to swallow the bitter feeling she felt when she watched JJ take other girls home.

It was okay—she repeated that sentence like a mantra—she was okay with being just friends with benefits. Were they even friends? Frida liked to think so, even though if he sometimes disappeared in the middle of the night when they were done, or when he acted as he didn’t know her when Sarah and herself passed the Pogue’s boat and his friends threw disgusted looks their way. It did not made her feel like trash or tear her insides apart.

It was not his fault. They both agreed the next morning of that special night that it was just a distraction for their shitty lifes. She had agreed. She had yearned for his touch, his company, something different from her already planned life. Something that would make her parents, Marie and Donald Montgomery, have a heart attack.

Frida did not hate her parents, at least she was trying hard not to. Their conservatives ideals and obsession for controlling every aspect of hers and her younger brother Sean’s lives, of only 4, made the aspect of not wanting to run away very hard.

The morning after the night she realized her period was late, Frida was on a baby blue sundress with Sarah Cameron—her lost sister—, her annoying but yet hot brother Rafe and her boyfriend Topper. They were on a picnic and if she was being honest, everything made her want to puke, or maybe it was the fact that Sarah and Topper were practically doing it in front of her.

“So, Frida.” Rafe Cameron’s tone could not mean good things. It was a teasing one, the one that he uses to taunt the Pogues or Topper when he is being his usual whipper-for-Sarah self. “I see you are not eating. Is it because you have gained weight or—”

“Excuse me?” Frida’s words were interrupted by the blonde beauty in front of her.

“Rafe! What the actual fuck!” Sarah gasped, mouth opened while fury was reflected on her beautiful eyes. She stood up, making her boyfriend look up with puppy eyes full of adoration for her. “You are such a disgusting pig. Come on Frida.” The mentioned girl got up at her command and intertwined their arms like they always did. “I’m so sorry! I knew it was a bad idea to bring him along but he told me he wanted to come and—”

Frida looked at her best friend with a pity look. “It’s okay babes, really.” It wasn’t. Frida had struggled with body image since she was 13 and Sarah knew it but she was not going to let the blonde feel guilty over her own insecurities and over something her brother had said. “I mean it’s true that I have gained a little bit of weight and it’s not your fault. I don’t want you to feel guilty over his words, okay honey?”

“But it is not okay! Also, it doesn’t matter that you have gained weight! So what! It’s your body! He doesn’t have the right to comment on it or anybody, really. Ugh!”

The princess Kook screamed at her irritation towards the attitude of her brother and paused when she felt Frida’s stiffness. Her freckled face had gained a bit of baby fat and her round cheeks were tinted by a red blush.

“Listen about the weight thing, it, uh, it may be about something else. Uh—it’s just, it’s kinda complicated but—” Sarah’s eyebrows furrowed to demonstrate her confused state. “So, I have this fear right now that—” Frida giggled, almost like it was a stupid thing, to be afraid of falling pregnant at the age of 16. “—anyway, and don’t freak out but, my period is very late and I have been throwing up every morning and, I have the urge to eat a lot of things at 3AM. And my period is fucking late as fuck Sarah and my parents are going to kill me.”

“No way. There’s no way, right?” Sarah looked at Frida with an indescribable look in her eyes. One of disbelief. “Tell me you have been careful with whoever you were sleeping with—Frida, oh my God.”

The freckled young girl bit her lip in hesitation. “One month ago, we were on his job’s bathroom and he didn’t have condoms with him bu-but I’m taking the pill!”

“Okay, okay. Let’s not freak out. Maybe it’s a virus or maybe you have been stressed about the Midsummer’s organization and that has upset your stomach.”

Both of the girls looked at each other with mixed emotions swimming in their orbs.

“Whatever it is and whatever happens next, you know you have me, right? I’m not going anywhere Frida.”

Tears of relief escaped through the Montgomery’s brown eyes. She stopped walking and with shaking knees sat on the green grass. She could hear the buzzing of insects and some of the mud on the floor had stained her expensive dress. She did not want to say it, but she wasn’t sure JJ would stay by her side if she was pregnant and the thought of her parents supporting her during the pregnancy seemed laughable.

“Thank you. Really. I-I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I don’t even know how I’m gonna tell JJ that-”

“JJ?” Sarah’s voice was full of incredulity and a bitterness Frida had not heard before. “Kiara Carrera’s friend?”

Frida nodded, not finding the right words to justify her secret affair with the blonde surfer. She knew Sarah did not have the best relationship with the Carrera girl and her friends but hoped that—if JJ decided that he wanted to be involved—they could get along for her sake.

Sarah sighed and the green dress with white dots she was wearing that day shifted with the exaggerated movement. She grabbed her hand and caressed the exterior of it to calm the quiet girl. “Let’s go.”

To say buying pregnancy tests when you were 16 in a small island where everyone knew absolutely everybody was awkward was an understatement. The 40-year-old thinned-lip woman threw a judgemental look her way when Sarah asked for a box of pregnancy tests. When she disappeared to get them, Frida narrowed her eyes and muttered under her breath.

“Well, thank you for your understanding, you are making this so much easier for me right now woman.”

With the tests on her hand, both of the teenagers quickly moved through town to arrive at Tannyhill. Now, on Sarah’s bathroom, everything seemed to be on slow-motion. Her heartbeat, however, was beating too fast. Way too fast. Frida was sitting on the closed toilet with her best friend in between her knees, their hands intertwined and even though the AC was on, a drop of sweat could be seen travel down Frida’s temple. The alarm on their phones beeped at the exact moment, signifying the moment of truth.

“Do you want me to look at it?”

“No.” Frida hated the fact that she had to face the consequences of her mistake but if her dad had taught her something was to be responsible. An advice she had ignored when JJ had been kissing her on that bathroom stall and his fingers were inside her. Now, the astronomical mistake was there, in front of her eyes.

“Positive.”

tags: @teamnick @lolitstiana @ssjiara @outerbankslut

[dykexanderharris]

heartache, i’ve heard, is part of life

(kennedy/willow, heavy mention of tara/willow)

Post-Chosen

It’s May and it’s only been a couple weeks since you watched her hair turn white with magic and felt centuries of the slayer line run through you. It’s May and she hasn’t said it but you think it’s been one year since the last woman she loved died. You have a few reasons for thinking that.

One of the big ones is that it’s May and You’ve learned that May being Apocalypse Month is one of the Scoobies’ favourite jokes. Since Willow was the cause of the last Apocalypse, you figure Tara probably died almost exactly a year ago. There’s also the thing where Xander and Buffy have both been big with the hovering for the last few days. You get wanting to be with friends after a near-apocalypse, you’ve spent a lot of time with Rona and Vi since Sunnydale turned into a crater, but Xander and Buffy have nearly attached themselves to Willow.

But the biggest hint is the way Willow is quiet. In the few months that you have gotten to know her, Willow has been a lot of things, most of them amazing, a few of them kind of terrifying. None of them is quiet. She can be shy occasionally and she can overthink which can look like quiet, but you can always tell that it’s not actually quiet since her eyes do this really cute and expressive thing where it kind of looks like she’s trying to figure out the worlds secrets.

Right now she looks quiet. She talks with same vernacular that you’ve grown so fond of and she smiles at you every time she catches you staring. But she looks quiet and her eyes don’t look complicated at all and there’s sadness there, more than usual. You’re not worried in the stressed and panicking sense, you’re just worried in the concerned that she isn’t talking to anyone about her dead girlfriend.

You recognize that you are definitely someone she can come to, but that she probably wouldn’t be big for conversing with her girlfriend that she accused of making her forget about her dead girlfriend - turning into the man she killed or not -about said dead girlfriend. So, you hope that Willow’s talking to someone but you have an inkling that she’s not going to talk to Buffy or Xander since they both have more recent dead loved ones. You doubt she’d talk to Daw, especially since Dawn has been kind of an asshole to both of you since she realized that the two of you aren’t just screwing because of your common experience of pre-apocalypse lesbianism. You wish you had her confidence, because even you aren’t convinced of that fact.

Th point is, you care, a lot, about Willow. And whether it’s been a year since Tara died or if the grief is just heavier now that there isn’t magic recovery or a First Evil to fight, you want to be there for her. So, when she comes out of the bathroom and into your room, towelling her hair, you just smile at her and invite her to come sit with you.

You listen to her breathe for a while as she flips through a handwritten journal, leaning your head on her shoulder you recognize most of the handwriting as Willow’s but there a more hurried and loopy script running through the pages along her steady and colourful words. You feel when her cheeks life with her smiles as she reads and thanks to your newly enhanced slayer hearing, you can hear the frequency with which she starts swallowing when she comes across full pages of the blue and loopy words.

Feeling her shift as she runs her finger along the edge of the page you shift with her, looking up to her. Softly, you ask, “Tell me about her?”

When Willow looks down, the same quiet in her face as the last few days but a small confusion, you clarify. “Tara. And only if you want to. I know you say you two were private and I respect that, but grief is hard and it’s harder when you don’t talk about it. So, if it’s okay with you, you can tell me about her. Or I can get Xander or Buffy and you can talk to them.”

Willow smiles at you and you really wish this warm feeling in your chest would stop popping up every time she looks at you because you don’t want to be the stereotypical lesbian who says I love you on the third date but she makes it easy. And she pauses and swallows again, and then she closes the journal and looks at you. And she says, “Are you sure?”

And you’re not, because you have this tendency to get jealous about stupid things and you don’t want to put yourself in a place where you might end up jealous of a dead girl and that would be stupid. But you say yes anyway because the hope in her eyes makes it clear she needs this. And Tara sounds like a good person from every account you’ve ever heard about her, plus you’ve got that whole loving Willow thing in common, so she seems like the kind of person you would’ve wanted to know if you could’ve.

With your confirmation, Willow tells you about her. She tells you about her as in the way that she loved horror movies even though she basically lived in one. You learn that Tara used to always get on both Willow and Dawn’s backs about eating healthy but she always kept gummy bears in her backpack in case it turned into a bad day. You listen when Willow admits that Tara thought the two of them were dating weeks before Willow realized she was gay and she laughs with you when you tease her.

And then she tells you about the journal on her lap. It started as just a catalogue of demons and meals and spells and little anecdotes from her daily life but eventually became the story of her and Tara, written out in their own handwriting. Willow mostly tells you about Tara teasing her about how she writes like she talks - in circles until someone tells her it’s okay to stop. You smile into Willow’s shoulder when she points to a period after a run on sentence that lasted over two pages long that is a different colour that the rest of the pages.

She goes through each page and tells you some of the stories and keeps some to herself, and from Willow’s account you can see how everyone views Tara as a perfect person because she seems pretty amazing. But then, a couple months into the journal, Willow starts flipping through pages written in black ink - an odd occurrence when previous pages were pinks or sparkly blues or lime green - with incantations and spells and ingredients and frustrated scribbles. You feel the way she tenses and she tells you about Glory who had made Tara go literally crazy and how she spent days pouring over texts just trying to find something to bring her back and how because of that Buffy died. You don’t correct her, it’s a different battle for a different day, but you do relish in her smile when the loopy writing is back.

There’s a page with some stranger ingredients and Willow tells you it’s the spell that brought Buffy back. You note the different coloured question mark next to the ingredient “vino della madre”. Now Tara’s notes are smaller than before, things like ‘dork’ when Willow pours over how much she loves Tara in the pages. you laugh are surprised that you have felt no jealousy, just sadness that Willow, and everyone, lost her. But you watch as Tara disappears from the margins, not abrupt like last time, but slower, until her only input are small drawings. And eventually she’s gone, and there’s a page that’s been scratched out but you see the way it bleeds onto the next page and figure it wasn’t the prettiest breakup. Willow confirms to you that it wasn’t, she tells you every step she took that ended up with her turning into a terrible and abusive person.

That’s one of the things about her that scares you sometimes, but you don’t need to think about that now. Willow flips through more pages, some of them black, some with colourful writing and fewer and fewer with spells, some with small self-affirmations. And you tease her for it and she blushes and you love her, in all your own stereotypical lesbian glory. She gets to the last page of the journal. Not the last page in the physical journal but you can tell it’s the last one in the way she looks at it.

And the last pages are all Willow, one is about a serum to help Buffy and the other two are about Tara. And then, proving your theory about the day she died, on a page dated May 7th, 2002, in purple ink is one sentence. ‘I love you, always, even when I’m not around.’

Willow gasps as she reads it, and you watch her gasp turn into a sob and she starts crying. You didn’t expect this conversation to end anywhere else, so you hold her and tell her it’s okay until she calms down. She shakes her head, as if to deny what just happened. Then she shrugs, “I’m sorry. It’s just, this,” She points at the journal, “and a couple pictures are the only proof that she was ever...”

She trails off and you get it. You don’t get it, but you think of Amanda who was younger then you but who reminded you of your sister so much and now she’s just a body in a hole that the government plans to fill with cement with no proof that you ever even knew her. You know, somewhere with her is Anya and Spike and Tara.

But Willow’s wrong, because Amanda is the one who encouraged you to forgive Willow, and wherever this goes, Amanda is part of the choices you make. So you kiss her cheek and place you hand on her other one, wiping away the tears there with your thumb. And you nod, “You’re right, she was a whole person and now all that’s left is notes in a journal and a couple pictures. But you forgot something.”

At Willow’s confusion, you continue. “You’re still here, and Dawn’s still here pissed off on Tara’s behalf. She’s gone but she’s still here. So, yeah, it is unequivocally shitty that she doesn’t get to be here so that the world gets to know her. But the world gets to know you and Dawn and Buffy and everyone else that got to know Tara. And I think, that’s plenty since she’s supposed to be my competition or whatever and I think I might like her more than I like you.”

Your last words are teasing and Willow smiles at you, though her eyes are serious. She leans her forehead against yours, running her hand through your hair and sighs wetly. “You’re kind of amazing, you know that?”

And you smirk at her. “I did actually, but thanks for the ego boost.”

It’s easier like this, when you can say serious things but end the conversations lightly and don’t have to sit with the discomfort. Willow shifts to kiss you and is crying when she pulls away. “Thank you.”

And you could say it now, that you love her. That you’ll follow her wherever she wants to go once the apocalypse hangover is gone. But as much as you’re comfortable being a stereotype, you’re not an idiot. You’ve been given what you consider to be the extraordinary gift of getting to date Willow Rosenberg, most powerful witch in this hemisphere. You’re not going to mess that up with as something as stupid as saying you love her off the hinges of a conversation about the dead love of her life. So, you just smile.

[suhmayzooka]

cursed child broadway, feb. 23, 2020

third time seeing cc in three months for one reason: my sister is, in her words, “in love with joey labrasca” (karl).  she thinks he’s absolutely perfect.  this past week i’ve endured her talking about how hot he is.  i mean, i’ve gotten quite a bit of good lily luna material for my fics now, but at what expense? did i need to know that joey’s (very mild) acne made him look handsomer? did i need to know about how deep his eyes are? did I?

i teased her about what she’d do if he wasn’t on, and she said she’d be so upset.  

we get to the theatre, i look at the cast…and james romney was karl.

my sister was shocked.  the love of her life, who most likely has forgotten about her existence, wasn’t there for what looks to be our final time seeing the year 2 cast.  she was devastated.

we also got to see antoinette robinson as hermione and tom patrick stephens as ron!  and sarita amani nash was myrtle!!  and kimberly dodson as polly!!

james!karl was great and i will bombard my sister with as much james romney content as i can in order to piss her off further :)

patrick du laney was the sorting hat and aaron bartz was the station master.  we actually saw aaron walking into the theatre as we waited outside for part 2.  he definitely has the draco swagger.

anyway let’s get to the good stuff!

~james snyder as harry! great as usual. i don’t think he did much differently than last time, or if he did it wasn’t very noticeable.

~diane davis as ginny – same w james.  i think she held on to albus longer when they hug in godric’s hollow this time?

~jonno roberts as draco: okay this guy singlehandedly inspired me to start a fic back in december (that has…….yet to be finished………) with how his draco and bubba’s scorpius behaved and this was no exception.  idk whether his mic got caught on something or if he was really bringing it all out, but when he shoves scorpius’s head against his desk in the dark world, he GROWLED the “you do NOT use her name in vain” line ???? i’ve never heard him say it like that, it’s usually more of a hiss.  idk how to describe how he said it other than “growl.” almost like an animal.

then when he said “do it safely, i can’t lose you too” he’s looking directly at scorpius.  it’s different from how i’m used to seeing him and closer how i picture him saying it; usually he’s looking away, like he’s afraid of showing vulnerability to scorpius.  but here, with him looking directly at him, and said with so much emotion and love, even in such a dark place…oOOF

he refused to let go of scorpius when they met again in godric’s hollow.  my heart…..always one arm around scorpius’s shoulders, or one hand on his chest, as scorpius clings on to him.

~kimberly!polly SMILED and giggled when she stepped in blood? “oh, potter, i’ve got blood on my shoe!” *delighted* and then as the staircase rolled away, she turned on her stomach to gaze down at scorpius, grinning flirtatiously.  this is my second time seeing her as polly, but from what i remember, katherine!polly wasn’t as sadistic in the dark au as she was.  i personally prefer kimberly!polly.

~sarita!myrtle!! like w kimberly!polly this is my second time seeing sarita!myrtle and i don’t really remember much about lauren!myrtle to compare, but sarita!myrtle was hilarious.  she got a round of applause just for appearing.  “girls….*turns around, stares directly @ albus* AND BOYS” *albus turns around, confused, as if she’s talking to someone behind him* UGHHH she’s so good and she’ll absolutely kill it as (main) polly, i can feel it.

~this was my first time seeing jack pravda as young harry! his voice is deeper than zell’s, and he was so adorably confused in the graveyard scene.  “why are there so many flowers?”

~antoinette!hermione was a lot less playful than jenny!hermione.  she does try for comedic effect, but she’s a bit more serious overall.  she was so scary in the first timeline!  when she waves her wand to dismiss the class and she’s standing all alone, she looks out with such a distant, despairing expression, then composes herself immediately. 

~tom!ron was very funny!  again, my issue with ron in cc comes down to how he was written.  he may have been relegated to shitty comic relief (why……is one of the first things he says……a fart joke…..?), but it’s up to the actors do what they can to flesh out some semblance of a likeable character from the bs that the script gave us.  and tom!ron was great!! he’s not as…dopey? dorky? as matt!ron, who’s very funny but a bit—childish? i guess? tom!ron feels more like an adult who still has a childish sense of humor, if that makes sense.

~ROMIONE.  watching a new take on romione was like falling in love w romione all over again.  tom/antoinette was a very loving pair.  jenny/matt tease each other a lot more, but tom/antoinette are more tactile.  their kiss was so sweet

~there’s hardly any love for sara farb’s delphi for some reason. i’m not sure why; her shift from delphi diggory to delphi riddle is so chilling. delphi diggory has a high pitched voice and is really goofy around albus.  scorpius absolutely hates her lmao.  as soon as she switches, her voice drops to a low growl and she’s downright terrifying.  i’m sad to see her go!

~WILL CARLYON.  is it possible to fall in love with the portrayal of a character in a handful of scenes? he’s got like five lines total but oh my god.  one thing a lot of people note about nicholas!albus is the way he’s so obviously a fourteen-year-old child.  will’s james sirius potter is SUCH a thirteen-year-old in the opening scene…it’s somewhat disconcerting watching this very-obviously-twenty-something-year-old man flap his arms going “WATCH OUTTT FOR THE THESTTRRAAAAAAALS” but it works? it’s believable?? he’s so close with lily luna.  this is my third time seeing him and every time he pretends to pounce on her and hug her during the thestral line i fall in love?? ginny scolds him and he is sheepish, but he won’t stop making the troll face at albus.  “SLITHERING SLYTHERIN STOP WITH YOUR DITHERING” *smacks albus*

~yeah i promised jsp content and i’m fucking delivering

~he’s sO excited watching albus get sorted. when the hat goes “SLYTHERIN” he’s absolutely shocked.  he’s confused.  he just stares at albus, confused, until yann (jonathan gordon, who once again gives us a delightfully dislikable yann) says some shit and james just turns to him and swats his hand at him.  he genuinely looked ready to fight yann.  i couldn’t tell but i think he tells him to stop?? it was hard to hear but his mouth definitely moved, i think to tell yann to cut it out.

~the scene with the students eavesdropping on mcgonagall’s meeting with the parents.  oh my god i don’t think he did anything that much differently than last time but i need to talk about this because i didn’t do it justice in my last recap.

~they sit on the stairs (iirc) top to bottom craig, yann, karl, rose, james.  i’m gonna ignore craig, yann, and karl since there are some serious family feels going on w rose and james

~jsp and rose begin the scene smiling, snickering as they hear that albus and scorpius fucked up.  “ahaha they got into deep shit” but then when they learn that they wrote rose and hugo (??whom??) out of time and then killed harry, their faces fall.  james’s eyes become vacant, far-off as he learns what happened to his brother.  his breathing becomes heavier and faster until he’s a few breaths from hyperventilating.  he leans his forehead against the stairwell/banister and shakes his head, mouthing/whispering “no��no…”

~nadia brown’s rose is such a little shit but she’s so good in this scene.  when she learns that she didn’t exist in the new timeline, she grabs james’s shoulder and he grabs her hand.  they don’t let go for the rest of the scene.

~i’m like half convinced that will got the part because of his amazingly expressive eyebrows.  i think my sister calls it “back row acting?” his eyebrows can probably be seen from the back row.  after the mcgonagall scene is over he sits on the stairs, raising one eyebrow at rose and hermione, then goes back to reading the scroll.

~i didn’t mean for this to become a will carlyon fan account but he deserves it.  according to nicholas he’s the biggest potterhead in the cast. he’s a ravenclaw. he can sing.  he’s so fucking valid and i’m so glad he’s staying for year 3.  he’s got two followers on youtube and one of them is me.  please guys like no one talks about him and i’ll fill this niche.  same with the lovely sarita. she’s so kind and so beautiful and so talented she can sing so well and she gives everything during wand dance listen i spent the beginning of this thing making fun of my sister for liking joey so much but sarita……..

~cc nyc said straight girl/lesbian solidarity  

~anyway…

~nicholas podany as albus.  so. Many. Tears.  i didn’t realize this before but his whole body trembles when he cries?? i first noticed this when he and harry were in the slytherin common room.  i was like “are his pajamas vibrating?? is this an optical illusion (they’re striped pajamas)???” no, his whole body was shaking with suppressed crying.  once i noticed i couldn’t un-notice and this continued for the rest of the show.

~bubba weiler’s scorpius didn’t seem much different from usual? i could go on about him but….that’s what my unfinished fic is for……one day……….

~okay so this is where i elaborate on the scorbus moments that made me want to YEET myself off the roof of the theatre (if you had to make sense of my typos on discord: i am Sorry)

~the slytherin dorm scene: scorpius tickles albus to wake him up.  he then makes himself comfortable on albus’s bed and won’t stop rubbing and patting his thigh.

~in addition to being austistic, bubba!scorp is bisexual (jon case would be proud) and here is PROOF: to flirt, bubba!scorpius leans against objects, sprawls his body out, plays with his hair, etc all extremely cheesy, greasy, suave moves.  he blows a kiss to polly as he’s sprawled across the stairs.  when he ROLLS down the stairs (looked painful…) to see rose at the end, he plays with his hair, shoots her a finger gun (further proof he’s bi), and lowers his voice.  but the comparison i need to highlight is THIS: when he says rose smells like bread, (1) he leans against the suitcases, trying to look suave, and (2) his face is instant regret. he silently bends back and mouths “WHAT WHY BREAD?? WHAT??? WHY???” and now…when he delivers his “ENGORGIMPRESSED” line to albus, he (1) leans against the sink, (2) grins, lowering his voice, and when the pun doesn’t land, (3) his face immediately falls, instant regret, the literal definition of “oH MY GOD WHAT WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT” the same expression he had when rose wasn’t impressed.  coincidence? i think NOT.  he’s trying so hard to flirt but he has no idea how to interact w people im --

~delphi in the church: when the adults have all surrounded delphi with their magic in the center of the stage, albus, ginny, and scorpius are huddled together. scorpius is behind albus, clutching his shoulder and hand.  albus breaks free for “SHE’S A MURDERER I’VE SEEN HER MURDER” (an underappreciated line imo) and scorpius just watches him, clearly wanting to help but not knowing how

~the final hug.  my initial, endorphin-fueled reaction was, verbatim: “THE FUNAL HUG NSCWR SEEN IR LAST SO LLNG NEVER SAW NICJ HUG HIM BACK NOSES ALMOST TOYCHONF.”  not even this is enough to convey my reaction to the final hug, but i’ll try my best to transcribe it.  

scorpius: runs up the stairs, grabs albus into a hug

albus: stunned for a moment, then wraps his arms around scorpius’s shoulders and hugs him back, burying his face into the crook of scorpius’s neck.  this is the first time i’ve seen him hug back, at least so fiercely.  they stand there for a good 3-5 seconds, then albus says, quietly, “what’s this? i thought we didn’t hug.”

scorpius, pulling back but still close to albus: “i wasn’t sure whether we should…” *looks up at albus, literal inches from his face* “in this new version of us…” *more gazing into each other’s eyes for a few seconds*

albus: “well…you better ask rose if it’s the right thing to do…” he sounded unsure? not as playful as before?

scorpius: *stares at albus for a few seconds* “a..aaha………..yeah right!”

he turns around and runs down the stairs.  albus goes “i’ll see you at dinner!” and scorpius turns around, smiles at him, and walks off, albus grinning and gazing so lovingly as he departs i’m gonna c r y

i can’t think of anything else to say about the show itself?  but my sister has given me a lot of material so i’m gonna talk about what went on with her because it’s relevant to our stage door interactions.

as we ate, she described how she would rewrite cc.  she has valid and absolutely invalid suggestions.  she would keep the father/son issues, make scorbus canon, remove or rewrite rose, and rewrite delphi’s backstory (valid).  she would remove the sorting hat and the dark timeline (not valid).  

during the intermission between acts 3 and 4, we started looking through the playbill and she started gossiping/venting about how much she hates the people in her school’s theatre (valid, since they’re bullying assholes).  i brought up a meme i sent her that i saw on twitter about how no high school theatre guys can sing, act, dance, and not be sexist.  somehow this discussion went back to nicholas podany? she was like, “i’ve been listening to his songs and deep blue is a low-key bop.” i asked if she heard his most recent song, telling myself.  she hadn’t and she immediately went to soundcloud to listen to it.  her reaction was PRICELESS.  she absolutely adored it.  she was dancing in her seat, going “okay this is actually really good??” like ofc it is? i don’t recommend bad songs? she tried to replay it but then her data ran out and the lyric theatre wifi is shit so she got very upset.  then the lights turned off and she reluctantly took out her earbuds.

there was a little girl (around 6-7ish, i’d say) in the very first row dressed as hermione for part one--complete with a doll and a broom.  for part two she was wearing a hedwig costume that looked homemade! she was very adorable, and bubba waved hello to her when he came for the curtain call.

stage door:

~sarita came out first! we told her that this was our third time at the show and second time seeing her.  i congratulated her on being cast as polly and she was so happy! dare i say…..loml

~tom and antoinette were so happy to have been the first cover romione we saw! tom was like “ah, you saw the best ron (himself)!” we were in front of a man from the uk who had seen the london show five times, and he and tom struck up a conversation about where they were from.

~nadia brown was so happy to see us! she didn’t remember us lmao but she’s so friendly

~edward james hyland (amos/dumbledore) was…politically campaigning?? the people in front of us were from vermont and he was like “ah…vermont…do you support bernie??” just like that.  they were caught off guard but i think they gave an affirmative answer, and he was like “and if he doesn’t get the nomination…?” they were still caught off guard and he just went “you’ll vote blue, right…? cause it’s the right thing to do….?” idk i’m firmly liberal but i thought this was a weird place to get political but okay

~EVERYONE was telling nicholas podany about how much they love telling myself.  he was telling the people in front of us about how it was mastered/mixed by solange’s producer(?) and my sister and i exchanged :0 looks.  she was getting shy, but i was like “tell him! he’ll love to talk about it, i guarantee it!” because even though i produce 0 content, i *am* an artist and i *do* know that we artists love validation

~so he came to us and she started talking about his songs! we’re fortunate that it was a more rock-y song so we’re…able to sound like we know what we’re talking about lmao.  growing up our mom would play us classical music (check out beethoven’s wig yo) and our dad would play us the ramones.  one of my earliest memories was arguing with my sister (probably around 4 at the time) about the lyrics to “i wanna be sedated” ahh… (she was correct btw)

~(don’t argue with me the ramones may not be poets but they’re valid)

~i was right! he was SO excited to talk to us!! my sister complimented the song and the production.  she said “i ADORE your new song!! it’s a high key bop!” and he broke into the BIGGEST smile.  she was like “i’m gonna play it until i hate it” and he said something along the lines of “i was in the studio listening to it nonstop for 8(??) hours i can’t stand it.”  he was talking about how he made the song with his “own scorpius” but i forgot who…he said scorpius and my mind blanked lmao.  he’s brought this person up before in interviews so i can probably find it.  she complimented the fact that it was different from his usual stuff and he told us about how he had a rock band in high school.  @nick where tf is your rock content pls deliver

~i actually spoke this time and cut in to tell him about how she was trying to listen to it on repeat but the signal gave out. she was trying to tell me to shut up but it’s my legal duty as the older sister to embarrass her.  

me: “I told her about your song during the intermission—”

her: “don’t!”

me: “no, nO, i told her and she was listening and then she ran out of data—”

him: “aaAa noo!”

her: “I listened to it!”

~then i told him that we loved seeing how he played albus and that we’re going to miss him, that we were going to see the cast change show but we couldn’t get tickets (i kindly left off the reason why), and he was so sweet about it *clenches heart* he told us how much he loves being able to experience this, that we’ll be so lucky to have james romney take over, etc etc i kinda wasn’t listening bc I was too emo, but I remember going “…but I don’t want to say goodbye…” and he just. gave me a sad look like “I know.”  there was so much pity in his expression.  why is he leaving us.

~the uk guy behind us was talking about how he’d seen the london year 3 and 4.  nicholas was like “oh, joe and dom? yeah i’ve spoken to joe and dom—wait, no, i haven’t met dom? i know he has an impressive social media presence” and they started talking about how different actors bring different things to albus and how the show allows them to explore different aspects to their characters and he just…wasn’t making any of this any easier for me lmao i’m mourning the loss of nick!albus and it’s not even march

~i feel bad that we weren’t able to speak with fiona reid (petunia/umbridge) because nicholas was talking to us.  

~jonno roberts.  this was the first time i’ve interacted w him at sd.  his draco has made such an impact on me, he’s my favorite actor in the show, and what do i say? what great words come out of my mouth? “hi you were great.” my sister KICKED me with her heeled boots. good thing i’m a lesbian because my doc martens protected my feet from the force of her anger.

~james snyder was enraptured in conversation with the people in front of us and just took our playbills to sign as he spoke with them. then he went “hi,” passed over us to talk to the guy behind us.  my sister was like “you were great!”

~tbh sd was kinda messy bc we were at the end of the line and the barrier things didn’t allow for the actors to get enough room to interact with the fans at the back. also jonno was standing there and he’s not a small man.

~saw several male actors leaving sd, waving goodbye at us and just walking away.  MOOD.  i was exhausted and i wasn’t the one running around on stage!

[totally-incorrect-theatre-quotes]

Festival of Lights (Fanfic)

With the help of several of my wonderful followers (including: @lgbt-fandom-fae @i-was-over-on-the-bench and anons) I was able to write a completely fluffy, angst-free, and hopefully accurately written short story about Lydia celebrating the first night of Hanukkah with Wendy, Wendy’s family, and BJ. 

I cannot thank my followers enough for teaching me about Hanukkah, as a non-Jewish person the last thing I would want to do is incorrectly write about the holiday!

______________________________________________________________

Lydia had met Wendy’s family before. She had gotten to know her parents and her two brothers pretty well in the past two and a half months and she didn’t know why she was so nervous about this particular evening, but when Wendy invited her over for the first night of Hanukkah she instantly worried she’d do something horribly wrong. She had an approximate idea of what Hanukkah was, her family celebrated Christmas when she was growing up but they taught her about other religions. She just wanted to make a good impression because this was the first major family event Lydia had been invited too and she didn’t want to ruin it with her ignorance of their traditions. 

“What can you tell me about Hanukkah?” Lydia asked BJ who was hanging upstairs in the attic with the Maitlands, “Wendy invited me over to her house to celebrate with her family and I have no clue what I’m doing, like I know it’s compared to Christmas but do I get her a gift? If I do what am I supposed to get her? If they pray do I join them or do I just respectfully stand there and listen because I’m not Jewish?”

“Kid you are making a way bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. It’s been a while since I’ve had a real Hanukkah but the worst thing you can do is this.” Beetlejuice gestured widely to her in general, “You freaking out about it is going to make everything so fucking awkward. Think about it, do you think this Wanda is overthinking what she’s gonna do when you invite her over to our humble abode for Christmas?”

Lydia shook her head, she hadn’t even considered Wendy mulling over the details of Christmas. It was just a casual thing in her family, they weren’t even super religious about it, when she was little they went to some church service with her grandparents but that was about it. Mainly it was just a bunch of fun little traditions and being with family. 

“Just follow her lead, and bring me home some latkes. I’d kill for some good ones, my mom was a shitty cook but damn could she make some good latkes.”

Lydia spent the rest of the afternoon casually scrolling through websites on Hanukkah traditions before quickly wrapping the presents she had gotten for Wendy and her family , with the help from Delia, and her dad drove her over to the Blackwood house. Wendy only lived about a ten-minute walk from her house but since it was the middle of December in Connecticut her dad insisted on driving her over. Lydia held the presents wrapped in blue paper anxiously in her hand when he rang the doorbell. Wendy greeted her excitedly with a big smile and pulled her into a welcoming hug. She grabbed her hand and pulled her into the kitchen where Lydia could instantly smell the pleasant scent of potatoes frying on the stove, Wendy’s father yelping when some of the hot oil splashed up from the pan and onto his hand. Her brother Silas was sitting at the table playing a board game with her other Levi who Lydia was surprised was home, Wendy had told her he was in Oregon for a job interview. 

“Mom, dad! Lydia’s here!” Wendy yelled

“Oh, hello Lydia! It’s so nice to have you here, Wendy’s been talking about it all day, she’s very excited you wanted to-”

Wendy gave her mom a look Lydia often gave her family members when they were embarrassing her. She couldn’t help but snicker a little now that she knew Wendy was just as nervous about tonight going well as Lydia was, “I’m excited to be here too!” Lydia set her present down on the table where a few other envelopes and small packages were being stashed. 

Wendy’s father gestured for them to all sit down at the table and handed Lydia and Wendy a bowl of potatoes and asked them if they’d be willing to help him peal some more because he wanted to be sure they had enough ready so that Lydia could take latkes home for her family to try.  Lydia enjoyed the process so much that she ended up helping Wendy’s father fry an entire batch of them, and while hers were more so burned than golden brown he still said they looked delicious. She helped set the table for dinner and everything looked and smelled amazing. For dinner, they had rosemary chicken, latkes, and challah bread which Lydia promptly decided was the best bread that she had ever tasted in her life. Lydia offered to help with the dishes but her parents insisted that Silas and Levi would be more than willing to clean up for them, but judging from the looks they gave their sister it was obvious she must have paid them to do the dishes that night. 

For a while, the family just sat around the table chatting about what was going on in their lives and making polite chatter with Lydia who was now a lot less anxious now that the evening had gone underway. Though Wendy’s family was completely supportive of their relationship Wendy and Lydia kept their physical contact to a minimum, but still managed to hold hands underneath the table. Silas would always groan whenever he saw them doing couples stuff like hugging or holding hands, often teasing them by claiming they were already an old married couple. For a nine-year-old Silas was incredibly sarcastic, it often made Lydia wonder what it would be like if she had siblings but it had gotten to the point where Silas was like an honorary little brother. Lydia didn’t interact with Levi enough to have any kind of relationship with him so any conversation they had that night was pretty awkward in comparison to the casualness Lydia had with the rest of the family. 

“Okay so this part is strange but my family likes to have a contest to see who can eat the most of this one doughnut called Sufganiyot in sixty seconds. They are like super dense and full of jelly, it’s really funny.” Wendy was already doubled over laughing while she was trying to explain the rules, “One time my dad tried to stuff three in his mouth at once and he just got jelly everywhere on the table. It was a sticky mess for like two weeks afterward.”

“Do you have to tell that story every year!” he defended, “You were like six years old I don’t even know how you remember it.”

“Dad how could I forget! I wish I had it on camera!”

Lydia lost the contest miserably, she was only able to eat about two and a half donuts before the timer went off. Silas was actually the winner eating a whole five and three quarters which was extremely impressive considering the next closest had only been able to eat four She probably could have done better but she loved the tasted of them and didn’t want to just swallow them down without enjoying the flavor. Besides the fun part was watching the rest of the family try. Wendy ended up with jelly all over the one side of her mouth. Wendy’s mom, much to her embarrassment, tried to wipe it off before Wendy ducked under her arm and wiped it off herself with a wet paper towel. Silas, feeling extremely confident from him recent victory, challenged everyone to a round of dreidle which later turned into six rounds where chocolate coins Lydia learned were called gelt and small trinkets were added to the pot and the rules seemed to constantly be changing. It didn’t really matter who was winning or losing, she was just enjoying spending time with Wendy’s family. Even Levi was warming up to Lydia, playfully teasing her when the dreidle would land on shin. 

Lydia hadn’t even noticed how quickly the time had been flying by but when she glanced outside the kitchen window it was pitch blackout and the stars were shining in the sky. Wendy stood next to Lydia while the family gathered around the Menorah. Silas, Levi, and Mr. Blackwood were all wearing blue and silver yarmulkes on their heads and bowing their heads respectfully while they began to say the blessing of the evening. Lydia bowed her head respectfully and watched observantly as Mrs. Blackwood took the middle candle that Wendy whispered was called the Shamash and used it to light the first candle. While the first candle was being lit the family sang a blessing in Hebrew by the third repetition Wendy was coaxing Lydia to join them, while she wasn’t perfect with the pronunciation she managed to finish the song along with the rest of the family,  “Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tsivanu l'hadlik ner shel Hanukkah”

The Shamash had been placed back in the Menorah and Mr. Blackwood began to sing a blessing that Wendy explained quietly was called “hanerot halalu” which was customary to be recited after the candle of the evening had been kindled. The family smiled at the end of the blessing and Lydia couldn’t help but to feel to the volume of love in the household while they all stood around the now illuminated Menorah. While it was not a tradition she had grown up with it was a memory that she would forever cherish. She reached out fo Wendy’s hand and grabbed it in hers as her subtle way of thanking her for inviting her to join in the experience. After a few seconds, they all sat at the table again and exchanged presents. Levi and Wendy both got cards with a bit of money in the as well as a little bag of chocolates, Silas got a new video game and a dinosaur lego set. Lydia watched beaming as the family opened their presents from her, she even earned a smile from the hard to please Silas when he unwrapped a remote control car she had gotten him. She blushed when Wendy gushed over how pretty the necklace she had gotten her was. She immediately had her father help her put it on and was holding the blue pendant between her two fingers and grinning in glee. Lydia’s face turned even redder when she received a gift from Wendy’s parents, she and Wendy had already agreed to give each other presents on each other’s respective holidays so Lydia was thrown off guard to be getting a gift from the Blackwoods. She gently unwrapped the tissue paper and held the present close to her chest when she saw the little mason jar filled with gelt coins, her own dreidel, and a blessing written in fancy scrawl.

“I know you said you didn’t want a Hanukkah present because you’re not Jewish but my parents wanted to give you a memento to remember your first time celebrating.” Wendy smiled, Lydia rambled about how much she loved it and hugged everyone in the family. For another hour everyone sat around talking, laughing, and celebrating. It came too quickly when Lydia got the text saying he was in the driveway. The Blackwoods refused to send Lydia home empty-handed and they handed her a bag with leftover latkes and sufganiyot. Just like every time they had to say goodbye the two girls were incredibly dramatic, as if they weren’t planning on facetiming later that night, or had plans to hang out at Lydia’s house for Christmas. When they were sure none of the family members were lurking around the corner Lydia tugged on Wendy’s collar and planted a quick goodbye kiss on her lips and hugged her goodnight. 

The whole car ride home Lydia talked her father’s ear off about how wonderful the evening was and how much fun she had. When she got home she searched eagerly for Beetlejuice ready to tell him all about it, she found him in the kitchen ready to light his own menorah she and the Maitlands had gotten him when he mentioned how he missed celebrating Hanukkah. She was grateful that he hadn't finished celebrating for the night, she felt bad not being there on the first night with him but he told her that he honestly didn’t mind if she spent the night with “Williomehnia”, but she still wanted to be there for him too. Lydia joined them and surprised BJ when she sort of knew the words to the one blessing. She played dreidel with him and her family while they feasted on the food the Blackwood’s had sent home with her. She quickly ran upstairs to her room and returned with a silver-wrapped present and handed it to Beetlejuice who was pretending his heart wasn’t swelling with love when he opened it to find a stuffed bear wearing a Hanukkah sweater. 

Exhausted from a busy but amazing day Lydia went up to her room, snuggled up under the blankets with her cats and smiled as she thought about how a lot had changed for her in the past year of her life, and while for a long time she left like her entire family had fallen apart she was filled with pure love and joy when she thought about not only the family she had but the family she had found, and the family she had joined since she had met Wendy.

[writingthrones]

the northern dragon- part 2.

PART 2: SECOND OF HER NAME.

TAGS: @psychosupernatural , @xleviiiix , @ashtronomyyyy  (feel free to shoot me a message if you’d also like to be tagged!)

DESCRIPTION: the world thought that just 2 dragons survived, that house targaryen was missing its third head. but there was another– the youngest, the final child of the mad king and queen rhaella. of course, she was almost part of the near extermination of her house. but the honorable ned stark, unable to watch a babe be murdered for crimes she did not commit, rescued her from an awful fate. instead, she grew up amongst wolves within the walls of winterfell.

NOTES: i hope this doesn’t feel like filler to you guys! i’m just trying to build things up before we get into the real intense stuff. as i’ve said before, i’d love to hear any suggestions you all have, the messages i’ve gotten so far meant a lot and gave me plenty of ideas. anyways, thanks for reading & i hope y’all are ready for more!

WARNINGS: more violence. some angst bc i really don’t know how to write anything else so enjoy :)

You had heard the lords question your presence in the camp, though Robb was not having it. He would not let them treat him as a boy anymore and his authority would not be questioned. And if he was to have these men march into war for him, he needed to show his strength. There was more important tasks to focus on, though, so it was quickly dismissed. You hardly ever got to hear those things, though, just what little you could get out of Theon and the very occasional conversations you had with Robb. 

You were getting out your dress for the day, something that wasn’t too restricting and plain that would allow for you to quickly move through the camp. You really needed to get something suitable for fighting, but Robb insisted on you working as a medic. Suddenly, the entrance to your tent was thrown open and you turned around quickly. There was Lady Stark, looking both shocked and relieved to see you. The two of you both rushed forward, meeting in the middle with a tight embrace.

“What are you doing here, Y/N?” she questioned as she pulled away from you, hands now rest on the sides of your arms. “I just couldn’t sit back in the castle while I worried about everyone. I promised to be of use.. whatever I can do, I will.” Catelyn nodded, knowing you would hold up to that. Besides, it was always good to know where you were considering the great liability you were. “I kept my word. I did everything I could for them.” Catelyn nodded, a warm smile on her lips that lit up her eyes. “If I may.. can I ask you what happened?” The woman nodded, going on to tell you all that happened in her travels-- the trip to King’s Landing, the chance encounter in the tavern, her capture and eventual loss of Tyrion Lannister. 

“...And now I am here. My husband is being named a traitor and my daughters are being held prisoner by those.. those...” She didn’t need to finish that sentence, you could imagine the sorts of obscenities she would call them. “Now Robb has started a war, one that will end in all of our deaths if things don’t go to plan.” You took hold of her shaky hands, nodding. “I believe in him,” you spoke softly. As did she, but she was a mother and it was instinctual to worry for her children. “It is good to see you,” she replied. “Well, I will leave you to dress.” With a nod, she was gone and you moved to quickly change and adjust the fabric covering your hair.

The next time you set up camp was beyond the Twins, where Lord Frey only permitted the crossing so long as Robb marry one of his daughters when the war ended and Arya marry one of his sons. It was a terrible price that needed to be paid. That night you remembered feeling.. angry. You told yourself it was simply because you hated that those two were forced into a shitty position but it was much more than that. Those feelings, though, you refused to confront.

Later that evening, you spotted a frustrated Robb stomping off to his tent. You were just about to retire to your bed when you decided to catch up to him. “Robb?” you called, just behind him. “I don’t have time to chat,” he grumbled, continuing his quickened pace. You could feel the heat on your cheeks, face going red with frustration. “What did you even bring me along for? Any time I try to say a single word to you, you run away!” He turned around, looking at your surroundings before grabbing your arm and pulling you into his tent. “I’m trying to fight a war, Y/N! I can’t just spend my time wandering the woods like we’re children.” You casted your gaze downward, sighing. “I’m not asking you to do that but can I not just ask you how you are? I worry about you, you know.” You wanted so badly to mention his betrothal but you had to bite your tongue. “Well, don’t. I just want to get my father and my sisters back,” his voice was stern. “Fine,” you replied, conveying almost no emotion as you turned to walk away. This time, he grabbed at your hand gently to stop you. “I’m sorry. But can’t you understand the position I’m in? Any small mistake could mean we’re all dead,” his voice was much quieter now, sighing. “I don’t need to be worrying about if I’m going to find you bleeding out in that field, too.” Your own expression softened, though you frowned. There was nothing you could really say, so you turned and left.

You were about 8 at the time and the four of you decided on a game of hide and seek. The simple bit of fun was quite thrilling when you had an entire castle to hide in. Jon and Theon were a team of seekers, while you and Robb scrambled to find a place to hide. You took off down the hall, nearly tripping over your own feet. Robb followed you. Jon and Theon had finished, with the latter boy announcing loudly that they were coming to find you two. You dashed into your chambers, throwing yourself under the furs on your bed and lying there quietly. The plan was to simply blend in and they would never be able to tell you’re there, surely they’d give up then! The door creaked open not long after and you held your breath, hoping to not draw any attention. “Y/N?” The voice was Robb’s. You popped your head out from under your covers, a pout on your features. “What are you doing? Find your own hiding spot!” He only laughed, “Let me hide with you! Please!” You sighed, caving almost instantly. “You’re going to make us lose,” you grumbled as he climbed into the bed, throwing the covers over both of you. You both laid there quietly, just barely able to see one another. Yet, he reached out his hand to hold onto yours. The two of you stayed in that position, so still that you ended up falling asleep. Jon and Theon found you eventually, both of them bursting into laughter at the sight of you two fast asleep with your fingers intertwined. The loud noise jolted both of you awake. Theon teased you for weeks.

The next morning you ventured out of the tent and through the camp, searching for ways to make yourself useful. It was important to be constantly busy in order to prove that Robb had not made a mistake in taking you along. After some wandering, you found Theon. “Theon!” you called, rushing towards him. “What do you want?” he questioned. Was it that easy to tell that you needed a favor from him? “I need you to tell Robb to let me fight. I keep asking and he just won’t listen. I know what I’m doing! Jon and I used to practice a lot before he left, you remember! So I just kept going.” He sighed, “He won’t listen to me and even if he did, you don’t need to be out there. We have plenty of capable men. You’d only get yourself killed. Now, I need to go.”

“Wait!” you shouted, not giving him a chance to walk away. “Spar with me. I’ll show you and then you have to tell Robb. If I can beat you, promise me you’ll tell him.” He sighed, then looked around. “Fine. But not here, we need to go somewhere the others won’t see. I can’t let the men see me--” You stared at him with eyebrows raised. “Do not finish that sentence.”

He manages to slip away with a sword for you and the two of you ventured into the woods. You were nervous, your breathing shaky as you prepared yourself. This had to go in your favor or you’d be stuck doing the same mindless chores you’d done back in Winterfell. Even so, would Theon even vouch for you? If you showed yourself as a capable warrior, surely he’d have to, right? But you were at a clear disadvantage, what with being clothed in a dress. It wasn’t so restrictive of movement but fighting would not be easy. Still, you would push through. Theon was quick, seeming to anticipate every swipe and jab that you made. It took a lot of twisting and dodging to insure you didn’t end up skewered by the blade. The two of you had agreed to make sure neither was truly wounded, but things happened. His blade managed to graze your arm, cutting the sleeve of your dress and creating a flesh wound. “Y/N--” But the adrenaline coursing through your veins prevented you from feeling a thing. “Keep going!” you shouted. The fight was becoming more even and you had a suspicion it’s because he was beginning to go easy on you after what he’d done. “Theon, I want you to fight me for real. I want to prove myself,” you said in between heavy breaths. And the difficulty increased again. 

Finally, you somehow managed to knock the blade from his hands and pointed your own just inches from his throat. You let out a breathy laugh as his eyes were wide with shock. Smirking, you lowered the weapon and bowed. “I... Wow.” He sounded genuinely impressed, causing you to grin. “Now please, tell him.” All he did was sheathe his weapon and took yours from you. It took quite a lot of effort to not give some snarky remark, but you really wanted him to say something. You both marched back to camp as the sun was setting. 

You made your way quickly to your tent as to not let anyone see the cut. Just as you had slid your arm out of the dress, the tent’s entrance was thrown open and in walked none other than Robb Stark with a hardened expression. You turned around quickly, holding the loose fabric to your exposed skin, though he paid it no mind. “What do you think you’re doing?!” he shouted. Your lips parted but he cut you off. “I told you that you’re not going to see a single battle and I meant it. Did you think this would change my mind?” Before you can speak, he continues. “Clean that,” is all he says while staring at the small wound then he turns to walk out. “Do I not get to say a single thing for myself? I know what I’m doing, I beat him fair and square. Give me armor and I can do the same to any Lannister dog. Let me fight for Lord Stark, for Sansa, for--” He side eyes you from over his shoulder. “Please just listen to me,” his voice is quieter now. With that, he leaves, not giving you another chance to speak for yourself.

The next day, a fight that sacrifices 2,000 men in a successful effort to capture the Kingslayer takes place. When you are told of what happened, you felt like a lump in your throat. You would have died with them if Robb had let you go. He saved your life. Even if you’d grown apart over the years, the pack mentality lived on. Still, you continued to practice for when the real fighting began. You wouldn’t stand aside forever. Ned had saved your life and you wouldn’t just act as a sorry excuse for a medic. It was time to get him, Sansa and Arya back.

So while you spent your days hopelessly tending to the wounded, you spent your nights practicing your sword work. This night in particular, you outdid yourself. You were truly talented, a warrior just like the woman you’d been named after. Visenya was as beautiful as she was strong and so were you. Now all you needed was your own dragon, if only that were possible. Even before you knew about your family, you had always dreamed of what it would be like to see a dragon. Where would the world be if they were still here? Would your family still hold power? Would you get to live your life as a princess? Your mind began to race and so you just rushed off to bed, not wanting to drive yourself mad with what if’s. Besides, you loved the life you were given.. right?

The next morning, you woke up to the sound of men suiting up for battle. Your heart began to race as you thought about how you could just find some armor, throw it on and put yourself out there. Maybe it wouldn’t exactly fit right, maybe it’d turn out to be a total disaster but you just wanted-- no, needed to do something. You didn’t come all this way to sit on the sidelines. Disregarding any doubt, you made your decision. You were born to be a warrior; Visenya Targaryen, Second of Her Name and the Dragon in the North. It didn’t matter if no one else knew, you did. Even if you couldn’t reveal yourself, now or ever, you would embrace your inner dragon, if only for yourself.

So, you hurried through your trunk, breathing a sigh of relief when you realize you had indeed packed away a pair of trousers and a tunic. You put it on before slinking out of your tent and searching for some discarded armor. Trying to go unnoticed during such a task was difficult but somehow you managed to do it. You weren’t sure if this belonged to someone or not, but you didn’t care right now. Sneaking back to your quarters, you hurriedly put it on. Luckily, whoever this belonged to was a slender man. It still didn’t fit perfectly or anything, but it was something. You just pulled it as tight as possible and hoped for the best. What was important was that the helmet kept you covered while not obstructing your view. Exhaling a shaky breath, you exited and searched for a sword.

Running into battle, you’d never felt such fear. But you knew this is something you had to do. No one seemed to immediately come at you, but of course you remained on guard. Suddenly, though, you were knocked on your back, leaving you breathless. The man came closer to finish the job when you managed to put your weapon through his neck, letting out a grunt as you did so. This was it, your very first kill. It felt.. odd but you didn’t have time to dwell on such feelings. Instead you exploited the weakness of any Lannister soldier you came across. Of course, it’s not like you had been completely unscathed. You had gotten a pretty decent slash to your cheek and surely there would be bruises all over. But you were alive and the fighting was finished.

The nerves didn’t end, though, because now you would come face to face with Robb, with Catelyn and even Theon who would all be upset to some degree. You began to think of all the things you could say to them when Robb appeared seemingly out of nowhere, blocking your path. “What in the seven hells do you think you’re doing?!” he shouted. “Whatever I was thinking, it’s done now,” you replied confidently. His mouth hung open. “I told you that you weren’t going to fight,” he then said, clenching his jaw. “And yet, I did. I’m alive, aren’t I? I think I’ve proven myself.” You raised a brow as he stared at you, unable to find the words to say. “So what are you going to do? Throw me into that cage with Jaime Lannister?” If looks could kill, surely you’d be dead by now but you wouldn’t back down. There’s a long pause between you two, all the while you’re holding your head high. “Go see a medic,” is all he can seem to muster up.

The cut to your face had been nothing too serious. The woman had cleaned the wound and told you to make sure that you continued to do so too. You returned to your tent that night feeling.. accomplished. You were living up to your name. You weren’t quite sure how you’d continue this but you’d have to find a way.

[sadbi-hours]

Here it is! Finally! My Stranger things’ Fanfic Rec list I’ve put off for months yooo! Anyway, I hope you find something to read and enjoy y’all :)

(Oh, the * at the front of the fic title means they are my favorites!)

* objects in the mirror by Snickfic  (Complete)

Jonathan has no f**king idea why Nancy and Steve gave him the Nikon. He doesn't know why they're so insistent on seeing the pictures he takes, either. 

why you should read it?:one reason: you can’t tell me that Jonathan doesn’t have a thing for taking pics during sexy times! you just can’t...and this fanfic is the reason why!

And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars Series by  Drhair76 (WIP)

The many adventures of Steve, Jonathan and Nancy as they figure out their relationship. (feat. Robin, the kiddos and a heck ton of parental figures.)

why you should read it?: Because Steve/Nancy/Jonathan’s relationship is the cutest thing in this little series...but it’s also very real in a way that’s not supernatural. Just go read the series! Warning: It does get a little angsty in later parts!

Emotion Sickness by  Shypt  (WIP)

After the Battle of Starcourt, Steve struggles with the damages that the Russians left behind. In dealing with the aftermath, with the help of Robin and the Party, he uncovers a larger conspiracy at hand than just re-opening the Gate.

why you should read it?: Post s3 fic, where Robin and Steve are left with powers after the Russian’s experiments...and how they deal with that and the large conspiracy at behind why. 

* it's a risk, it's a gamble by  nondz (pinkjook) (Complete)

“I think we should pretend to date,” Robin says.

"What?" Steve answers.

why you should read it?: read this post and all my feelings will be revealed...or aka the emotionally sweet stoncy fic where Robin and Steve pretend to be each others beards... that might have made me weep silently a few times haha!

* Strike from the Records (it's not over 'till we're done) by SylphofScript (Complete)

If there’s one more thing Steve should have walked away with after so many incidents with the otherworldly, it’s to never trust the slow points.

They were only ever a blanket of lies, covering up a brewing storm.

Too bad Steve never learns.

why you should read it?: A long connective fic, where each character is common or not so common whamp trope! So beware, it gets super angsty in parts!

Have Happened by cortexikid (Complete)

"I overheard you. You were talking in your sleep.”

Steve's heart fluttered nervously.

“It was a little funny at first,” Nancy admitted, her tone a mix of teasing and apologetic, “you were moaning my name and I thought it’d be kinda funny if Mike accidentally overheard you having a sex dream about his sister—”

Steve couldn’t control the guffaw that escaped him.

“But then you said Jonathan’s name. Right after mine. All in the same breath.”

why you should read it?: You know, why not! I’ll admit, this story doesn’t entirely work for me anymore since the monster hunting trio had grown so far from their s1 characterizations, but it’s still a fic worth reading! So i am rec-ing it!

Slide Over Here by empathieves (Complete)

Nancy says Jonathan's name instead of Steve's two weeks after the Monster Hunting Incident. Steve says it instead of Nancy's name a month after. They don't talk about it until two months after, when it's become increasingly hard to ignore that Jonathan Byers has become a part of their sex life without even being in the room.

why you should read it?: Another post s1 fic, where Nancy and Steve slowly start bringing Jonathan’s name into their sex life...and how they eventually act on their desires! 

Searching For Your Heart by cali-chan (girls_are_weird) (Complete)

One of the world's biggest action movie superstars is coming to town, and every kid in Hawkins High is determined to win MTV's back-to-school scavenger hunt and get a face-to-face meeting with their idol. Mike and his friends are sure they've got this in the bag— until the contest throws a wrench in their plans and their only shot at winning is partnering up with Mike's longtime crush, El Hopper.

why you should read it?: I’ll admit I didn’t finish this story...I was a little too fluffy for my tastes, but It’s still a cute story worth reading!

Bad at Love (Can You Blame Me for Trying) by GeoffsEightGreatestMistakes (Complete)

He liked to think the world was done throwing him curveballs. He’s had to kill the Demogorgon, get his face punched in by a crazed stepbrother, listen to his drunk girlfriend tell him she doesn’t love him, and tell his best friend that he’s a piece of shit. He thought he had somehow managed to catch enough curveballs for a lifetime. He was wrong. The newest curveball may be the hardest one yet.

why you should read it?: It’s Stoncy and my fav romantic angst trope: (not so) unrequited love/Pining! 

* every night my mind is running around her by magneticwave (Complete)

In which Nancy gets married, Lucas gets hot, and Dustin gets to give lots of people advice that he’s only moderately qualified to dispense. 

why you should read it?: This was my first ever ST fanfic! I had to add it on principal...of it being absolutely amazing lol! 

* Ducks on the Pond by The Stephanois (ballantine) (Complete)

Steve Harrington knows two things to be true: the St. Louis Cardinals are the best baseball team in the world, and Nancy Wheeler is far too amazing for him to hog all to himself.

why you should read it?:  It’s one of my all time favorite stoncy fics, it combines two things I absolutely love into one story: Poly relationships and Baseball (I won a MVP trophy in HS for Pitching) ...and also uses the age old euphemism of bases for sex;) 

Across the Many Miles by FeoplePeel (Complete)

Nancy packed her bags and moved out West for Caltech. Jonathan’s East at NYU. Steve’s in the middle, Hawkins, Indiana and separated from the only people who understand by a seemingly endless stretch of land on each side. The story doesn't start there, but it doesn't end there, either.

why you should read it?: It’s actually been so long since I’ve read this one...and bruh is it long...so it’s definitely not a causal read, but it’s very very good read if you have the time for a long, long story. 

* let this pass you by CallicoKitten (Complete)

Steve’s not entirely sure at which point in his life he became Dustin Henderson’s personal chauffeur. Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. Maybe he can pinpoint the exact moment it happened and it honestly keeps him awake at night more than the demo-dogs or the Demogorgon or any of the insane shit that’s happened in Hawkins recently.

---

the kids drag steve on a trip to chicago to find El's sister, steve figures some shit out in the process

why you should read it?: It’s stoncy, the party, and a road trip all rolled into one...what more can you ask for haha?!

Talk Me Down by anomalation (Complete)

Nancy knows what she wants: Steve and Jonathan both, and maybe a fight. Steve knows he'd do anything for these dorky kids. Jonathan doesn't seem to want anything, but he'd also never ask them. And none of them are interested in forgiving Billy.

Featuring: some D&D, a Christmas party, a lot of relationship negotiating, no excuses for shitty behavior, and yet also the firm belief that nobody deserves abusive parents.

why you should read it?: Another really long, long fic that I completely enjoyed the one time I read it...and It had a nice and real redemption arc for Billy that I liked. 

* For the Three of Us by brokenpromisesandhope

5 times Jonathan loved Steve and Nancy and one time they loved him back.

why you should read it?: The summary pretty much says it all...

* decide on me (decide on us) by mjolnirbreaker (Complete)

Robin could very well die tonight in her stupid work uniform, and honestly she doesn’t want to dwell on it. So she’s going to make it her personal mission to figure out what’s up with Steve’s romantic life, and hopefully they don’t die before she solves the puzzle.

why you should read it?: It amazes me to this day...just how close to canon this author had gotten for Robin’s characterization and her relationship with Steve! 

* fly me to the moon by bleuboxes (Complete)

It's a Saturday night; he's watching one of those Star Wars movies with Robin - who won't shut up about how hot Leia looks.

Steve mentions something briefly about how he likes Han’s hair, rugged tough guy appearance, and general aloofness. Robin rolls her eyes, mutters an 'of course you do', then throws popcorn at his face.

why you should read it?:  Okay, I related way too well to this story! Han Solo was one of my bisexual awakens too...and I didn’t realize until years later lol! It’s also a sweet story about how Robin slowly helps Steve through his awakening like a real BFF should. 

God Help the Outcasts by willwrite4coffee (Complete)

Robin Buckley's always been a little different, but to her, that's never been a bad thing.

She's been on the outside looking in, an outcast, but she'd rather spend her evening with Sousa than at a kegger.

Being an outsider has never been a bad thing.

(also known as, why does no one know Robin in such a small town like Hawkins?)

why you should read it?: A cute little story about Robin and Steve’s friendship directly after the events of s3...and how the party and Nancy and Jonathan slowly begin to accept Robin into the fold. 

Oh, and anything by @trulyalpha! Here’s the Ao3 link!

[chuffyfan87]

Growing Pains. Part 4a

Cowritten with @disastrousintention. Trigger warning for discussion of eating disorders. Content warning for illegal drug use.

-x-

Louis shoved his school tie into his bag as he slipped out the side gate. He'd gotten his morning registration mark so no-one would know that he was bunking off to meet the lads from the party up at the rec.

"Didn't think you were coming." One of the lads said as Louis finally made himself known.

"I had to go to registration or they'll call my dad." Louis grumbled.

"That's shit." John replied.

"Yeh. Can't wait to be done with that shitty place in the summer." Louis sighed, sitting down on the swing.

"What you planning on doing then?"

"Fuck knows." Louis shrugged.

"You got some money with you like I said to?" Tony asked Louis.

"Got a tenner. All I could get."

"You ain't gunna get much with that." Tony rolled his eyes.

"Can't you go in your mum's handbag for some money?" John suggested.

"She ain't my mum." Louis muttered. "Its all I could get, alright!" He added sharply.

"Alright chill." John replied.

An older guy in his twenties who Louis hadn't seen before entered the rec and began to make his way over to the lads.

Louis watched him, “Who’s that?” He asked.

"His name's Dave, that's all I know." John explained. He pulled some money from his pocket and handed it to Dave without a word, receiving a small package in return.

Louis watched as Tony did the same thing before Dave turned towards him.

“This is all I’ve got.” Louis gave him the £10.

Dave took the money and contemplated Louis for a moment. "You're new round here aren't you? Tell you what kid, I'll do you a special deal - call it a welcome gift." He handed Louis a package just like he'd given the other two lads.

"Cheers mate." Louis replied with more confidence than he felt inside.

"Just make sure you've got a bit more cash next time yeh?"

"Yeah I will." Louis fiddled with the package. He was still in two minds...

Dave handed him a piece of paper. "My number should you need it." He explained.

Louis took the number and put it in his pocket.

"I'll see you lads around." Dave told the three of them before wandering off.

"Fucking hell! Dave's not normally that generous!" Tony gasped as he rolled himself a joint.

Louis wasn't sure about this but soon found himself joining the lads and rolling himself a joint too. As soon as he took a couple of drags on it he found himself quickly relaxing. All his thoughts disappeared. All the anger and confusion.

"See? I said you'd chill." John mumbled.

"Not right though, is it?" Louis mumbled back.

"Who gives a fuck about that?" Tony shrugged, giggling slightly.

Louis sighed, taking another drag of the joint.

"You scared of getting into trouble?" Tony teased.

“No! Fuck off.”

"Coz only babies are scared of getting in trouble." Tony taunted.

“I said fuck off! I’m not scared!”

"Just leave him alone." John interjected. "You're killing my buzz by arguing." He complained.

A silence descended over all three lads as the morning passed them by. Louis was half asleep staring at the clouds when his phone rang. He didn’t answer it, he was too chilled.

The phone rang two more times. On the third time it rang, Louis finally answered.

"Louis! At last!" Emily grumbled.

“What’s wrong? You alright sis?”

"You've got my lunch." She sighed.

“Shit? Have I?”

"Yeh, I can't eat yours." She grumbled. "Where are you? I'll come meet you to swap boxes."

“Erm... Bit busy Em.”

"But I'm starving and I haven't got any money to get something else. I'll come to you, I don't mind."

“I’m skiving.” He admitted, “Please don’t tell your mum.”

"Fuck sake Louis!" She harrumphed. "Where? I need to eat!"

“Down the rec.”

"I'm coming over."

“Love ya sis.”

"Louis? You ok? You sound... Weird..."

“Yeah fine.”

She wasn't convinced but hung up the phone and headed to the rec.

Louis dropped his phone onto the grass and lay watching the clouds.

Tony noticed Emily arriving at the rec. "Who's that?" He asked, perking up.

“My sister! She’s thirteen. Keep your eyes to yourself.”

"Don't be such a drag." Tony retorted. "Well hello sweetheart." He smiled at Emily.

Emily smiled at her brother, ignoring Tony. “Hi. Louis, swap lunches with me.”

Louis fumbled with his bag before handing over his sister's lunch to her.

“Ta.” She wrinkled her nose. “Weed?”

"No..." Louis lied.

“Bollocks.” She replied.

"Shouldn't you be getting back to school like a goody two shoes?!" Louis mocked.

“Shut up!” She turned to leave, “Don’t worry! I don’t plan on telling our parents about your little skiving session today.”

"Good!" Louis replied, his fingers twitching in his pocket where the weed was.

Emily shook her head and walked away, going back to school. She was worried about him.

The rest of the day passed as normal until it was approaching tea time. Though it was almost two hours since school had finished Louis hadn't arrived back home yet.

Emily was more quiet than usual. She was sat on the floor of her bedroom.

Jake hesitated in Emily's bedroom doorway, he was concerned that Louis going AWOL and Emily's nervousness were connected in some way.

She sighed deeply and pulled out her diary. “Will you stop staring at me?” She didn’t look up, feeling Jake's eyes on her.

"Do you know where Louis is?" Jake asked softly.

“No.” She replied. “Will mum be home soon?”

"I think she finishes at 7pm."

Emily sighed and nodded. She shoved her diary into her bag and stood up. “I’m going out.”

"I'm coming with you." Jake insisted.

“No. I’m going to the hospital. Please Jake! I wanna be on my own!”

"I can't let you go on your own!"

“Why?” She rolled her eyes, “I’m nearly fourteen!”

"Yeh and if mum and dad find out I let you just go out on your own they'll string me up! Plus gran will never agree to it."

She groaned. “Fine, I’ll stay here then.”

"He'll turn up." Jake attempted to reassure her.

“Who? Louis?”

"Yeh. He..." Jake's words were cut off by the sound of the front door opening and closing.

“I think that’s him.”

"Did something happen today? Is that why you're upset?"

“No.”

"Fine." Jake sighed. "You are as stubborn as mum sometimes!"

“I’m not!” She protested.

"You really are." Jake chuckled.

Emily rolled her eyes. “Whatever bro.” She grinned.

"Urgh, I'm not sure I can bare living with two of mum!" Jake laughed as he headed back downstairs.

Emily giggled softly. The amount of times she’d been told she was exactly like her mother was a lot.

Jake arrived downstairs to find Louis in the hallway. "Where you been?"

“Out with a few friends.” Louis replied with a shrug.

"You're lucky that we were able to cover for you with gran."

“Thanks.”

"Do you have any ideas why Emmy is upset?"

Louis shook his head. “No. She ok?”

"She seems worried about something but won't say what."

“Ah ok. Maybe she’ll talk later? Or maybe it’s nothing?”

"She seemed to want to go out but I said she couldn't on her own." Jake shrugged.

“Maybe she’ll talk when she comes down?”

"She seemed to want mum so maybe when she gets home from work she'll cheer up."

“Hope so.” Louis smiled.

When Duffy finally arrived home she was exhausted and stressed, it had been a hell of a shift!

Emily hadn’t come out of her room and she’d refused to eat when Kate had served up food for the younger children.

"Everything been OK mum?" Duffy asked, barely containing her yawns.

“It’s been ok. Emily’s not come out of her room though and she refused to eat dinner.” Kate replied back with a sigh.

"That's not like her, maybe she's getting sick." Duffy replied before heading upstairs to see her eldest daughter.

Emily lay on her bed, hugging her teddy tightly. She often retreated into herself when she had things on her mind.

"Hey princess, you feeling OK?" Duffy asked softly as she reached Emily's bedroom.

“Uh huh.”

"Gran said you didn't eat your tea." Duffy explained, sitting down on the bed next to the teenager.

“I’m not hungry.”

"But you need to eat." Duffy sighed, feeling somewhat hypocritical.

“I’m not hungry.” Emily stated again and sighed. She held the teddy tighter to her chest.

"OK. Did you at least eat your lunch?"

“A little bit. I was sick.” Emily admitted.

"Oh princess! Why didn't you say? Looks like you and me are staying home tomorrow."

“No I wasn’t sick because I’ve got a bug...” Emily sighed.

"Is something worrying you? You can tell me."

“No.” Emily lied and turned away a little. “I’m fine.”

"Can I have a cuddle? I've had a rubbish day." Duffy admitted, hoping that Emily might open up.

Emily crawled into her mum’s lap and cuddled her tightly. There was a silence for a while, “There’s someone I know that... I think might be in trouble....” She whispered.

[whatusernamex3000]

Kacxa Week 2019 Day 6: Free Day - Halloween

Just your typical Halloween fluff. Lots of ships! All aboard!!!!

..

.

"Hey Acxa have you seen my Paladin suit?"

From down the hall he hears her shout, "uhhh no." He swore under his breath as he dug through all his clothes. "But you're not seriously going to wear your Paladin suit for Halloween. That's just dumb," Acxa added as she walked into the room.

Keith eyed her suspiciously. "Fine. I'll just wear my blade suit." Suddenly the back of his head was hit by a balled up shirt.

"Absolutely not. You will not be wearing your work clothes to my first ever Halloween party."

He playfully rolled his eyes. "you're the boss," he said, pulling her in for a kiss. He was so relieved that he was finally as tall as her. Three years into their relationship.

"Damn straight. Now you better figure out what you're going to be." Acxa booped his nose before heading off to the bathroom to shower.

"Well what about you? You shot down the couple's costume idea I wanted us," he pouted.

"Well I'm sorry that I don't know what the point of dressing up as salt and pepper would be," she teased before closing the door and starting the shower. "Now remember I'm going to meet Romelle so you can go ahead and help the McClain's and Holt's with party decorations."

"Yeah alright." He yelled through the door.

"And get a better costume!"

So Keith found himself alone, buying a 12 pack of beer and a cheap Halloween vampire kit. He'll be Dracula, and Acxa would think it's incredible because she'd have no idea what the hell he was. But hey, it was better than nothing. The costume kit came with cheap plastic teeth, a cape, and fake blood, it was perfect for what Keith was going for. And for $10 how could he say no.

When he returned, Acxa was gone. He assumed she went to Romelle's like she said she was going to. So Keith quickly changed into his cheap Dracula costume and headed to Lance and Katie's house.

He was pleasantly greeted by a very enthusiastic Mario. "Keith! You're here early!" Pidge exclaimed, pulling him into a hug. "It's been too quiznacking long. I've missed you."

Keith smiled as he returned her hug, it had been a little over a year since he had seen her. "I've missed you too Pidge."

"Easy there mullet. Don't get to clingy with my lady," Luigi shouted at him jokingly.

Keith glared Lance down and lifted Pidge into the air and spun her around. He and Pidge always had a special relationship, being that they knew each other far before Voltron. "Okay, okay, you can put me down Keith. Lance is going to pop a blood vessel," she teased. He obliged and set her down beside Lance.

Smirking, Keith greeted Lance with a quick "bro hug" before giving him a hard time about Pidge. "She's really grown up hasn't she?"

Despite the fake, overly large mustache, Keith could still see Lance blush. The two have been living together since they stopped being Paladins. Everyone had a bet as to when they were finally going to stop pussyfooting around each other and date.

It's been nearly five years since Allura's sacrifice, and things finally felt normal. Or as normal as their lives could be.

Suddenly Keith was tackled by Wario. "Keith buddy!"

As much as he pretended to be annoyed, he loved Hunk's hugs. "Good to see you too bud." Hunk put him down and eyed his outfit.

"Dracula huh? Not too bad."

"Yeah, you're really not giving up on the whole "goth loner" schtick any time soon huh?" Lance teased causing Keith to shoot him a death glare.

Pidge was laughing uncontrollably. "Leave him alone Lance. I think he makes a very nice shitty Dracula."

Keith missed this.

Slowly every single one of his good friends had shown up accept for Acxa and Romelle.

Shiro and Adam showed up as Tarzan and Jane, or in their case, Tarzan and Jenson.

Shay showed up as Belle from Beauty and the Beast. She was a little bit peeved at Hunk for not being her beast. Keith wished he didn't hear Hunk promise to show her his inner beast later.

Matt and Nyma were Jack Skelilngton and Sally.

Veronica and the MFE pilots were the power rangers.

A few more rebels and blades showed up. Sam and Colleen Holt even showed showed up. Sam was dressed in a suit that was covered in clocks, while Colleen was in a green dress covered with leaves, sticks, and flowers. Claiming to be father time and mother nature respectively.

Ezor and Zethrid showed up dressed as Captain Hook and Peter Pan. It was cute because when they showed up everyone asked Ezor why she wasn't captain Hook. She already had the eye patch. So within minutes of showing up, the two vanished and returned with each other's costumes on. Hence Ezor in a pirate outfit that was one size too big, and Zethrid in a Peter Pan outfit one size too small. Adorable.

An hour into the party, and he hadn't seen his girlfriend or his pseudo sister. Keith didn't know how or why, but he was always somehow surrounded by amazing women. Allura, Pidge, Acxa, Romelle, Ezor, Zethrid, his mom, Colleen, Nyma, and dozens of other blades and rebels that he's come across.

He was alone at the kitchen counter talking to a girl that just joined the blades, Aria. She was telling him about her life and how her parents kicked her out because she was gay. For most of her adolescence she was homeless until now. The Blades gave her a home and she thanked him. He only just met this young Galra girl, but he vowed that if anything happened to her, he would kill everyone in the room then himself. Eventually, he ended up being about five or six beers deep when he heard all his close friends laughing.

Aria also seemed to notice the growing laughter as both of them made their way to the dining room, aka the dance floor. His friends parted for him and his jaw dropped at the sight, his fake teeth almost falling out.

Acxa had finally arrived. She had dyed her hair jet black. She had given herself a black scar on her right cheek. But most importantly she was dressed in his Paladin armour, carrying around a stuffed black panther. Apparently there were no black lions available.

She noticed his stupid face. "You like?"

He closed his mouth and checked her out. She was supposed to be him, yet he doubted he ever looked that good. "Oh you're so dead," he teased before giving chase. Acxa squealed with glee as he chased her. Eventually he finally caught her as Aria may or may not have gotten in her way by accident.

He brought the two of them to the bar and made introductions as he made his girlfriend and new friend a drink. "... So I'm just really thankful for the opportunity to have a place." He heard Aria say as he returned with their drinks.

"So… where's Romelle?" He was asking when a blade in uniform walked passed. Keith shot Acxa a glance mouthing "not fair" causing her to just laugh. The blade he was checking out ended up being tackled by Kosmo.

His eyes widened. He had no idea how Kosmo got here. Keith made his way to the blade that was being mauled, and for the second time his jaw nearly hit the floor. "Romelle?"

The blonde altean was giggling uncontrollably as Kosmo licked her face. "Oh heya Keith."

Kosmo stopped his attack and allowed Romelle to stand up. Acxa was suddenly by his side with a handkerchief, handing it to Romelle. He turned and gave his girlfriend another death glare. "I guess that's why I couldn't find my blade uniform either."

Romelle answered since Acxa pretended not to hear him and take a sip of her drink. "You'd be correct," she teased. "So what do ya think?" She asked doing a quick twirl. Keith could've sworn he heard Aria gasp slightly.

He took his chance to check her out as she spun. For being his blade uniform, he was shocked by how it highlighted her curves. Despite her being basically his sister, he had to admit that she looked hot. And he could tell he wasn't the only one that thought so as he caught Aria blushing. "Hey Romelle have you met Aria? She just recently joined the Blades."

Romelle stopped her twirling and introduced herself, claiming that she wasn't a blade jus stealing his uniform. But it did give him the idea to maybe start allowing non-galra to join. "I love your outfit. What is it?"

"Oh," Aria said looking down at her outfit realizing just how much skin she was showing. She had on hiking boots, a grappler, skimpy hiking shorts, fake bandages wrapped around her arm and thigh, and a tank top which helped show off her… assets. "well… it's one of my favorite female warriors in Terran fiction, Lara Croft: The Tomb Raider."

"I don't think I've heard of her, but I bet she's hot," and Keith caught her whisper, "like you."

The four of them sat around and drank before Acxa vanished to converse, or most likely make fun of Ezor and Zethrid.

Keith was explaining to Aria about how her and Romelle met when two fist slammed on the table interrupting them. He looked up to see his girlfriend. "You owe me twenty bucks."

He raised a single eyebrow, "uhhh why?"

"Cus unless I'm mistaken," she stepped aside to show what she was talking about. "Mario and Luigi are making out."

"Finally!" Romelle shouted causing Aria to look at all three of them with a confused look.

Keith gave her a reassuring look, "It's a long story."