#if my hyperfixation doesnt fade

[spaghettito3]

It's always been Curly (Pre-crash Curly x Reader)

Captain Curly, the dependable captain of The Tulpar. That's who he was and will ever be.  ... Until you joined The Tulpar.

---

Or; a small look into Curly and his relationship with his name and title, with sprinklings of fluff.

ao3

It's always been Curly. Cur–ly; two syllables, a trip up and down the steps, the natural progression of things, finishing off a dance with a bow. It's Curly from the hiring manager of that fast food place when he'd made it just in time for his interview when he was 18, dressed in a suit; It's Grant from that awkward girl in middle school who decided she liked him after seeing him score a goal, then Curly once she knew him a bit more; It's Captain from his crew, and back to Curly again when they want to get on his good side. He was Curly.

He doesn't know how it all began, but eventually people started to favour his last name. It made sense, though; a name like Curly fits the bill for a dude with golden curls. He didn't mind that shift, either—two syllables always sounded better, together, than one, alone. He was Curly.

Grant is that one person sitting on the seat closest to the pick-up area of a coffee shop that you'd see for half a second when you go to get your drink. Curly is that dependable captain of The Tulpar with a crew that relies on him. Grant is that flower pot bought at a market years ago, left sitting at the back of the closet. Curly is a bundle of flowers packed perfectly in paper from that same market, just a few, more-populated stalls away. He was Curly.

So if that's the case, why do you insist on holding onto Grant so tightly?

When you introduced yourself to him and the crew last minute—courtesy of the Pony Express—you referred to him as Grant. Grant; one syllable, an unceremonious fall down the stairs, an abrupt stop, finishing off a dance with a trip. He'd been so used to everyone referring to him as Captain or Curly that a single word alone felt similar to when the wind back on Earth would sometimes suddenly pick up and make a mess of his perfectly styled hair. And despite seeing the mess you've made, you'd continue as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Grant this, Grant that. No mention of that blond curly-haired captain, save for the one you were choosing to call Grant at the moment.

It didn't bother him; he didn't let it bother him, not when he had a job to do and bills to pay and a freighter to man. Hell, it wasn't even about your usage of the name as well; just the reasoning behind why when everyone else called him Curly. Though it was starting to become less like a small gust of wind and more like a rocky, thorny, bordering-on-uncomfortable bump in the road, and his brain soon added that train of thought to the things he'd think about when he'd try to sleep.

He eventually cracked one sleepless night down by the kitchenette with you.

There wasn't anything special that triggered it; no mocking tone he'd sooner expect someone like Jimmy to use back at home, just a simple:

“Hey, Grant. Couldn't sleep as well?”

“Why do you call me that?”

He remembers the slight falter in your smile when he’d lost himself. Curly wouldn't start the conversation with that if he decided it was even a good idea to have that conversation at all. Your act wasn't hurting anyone; it was just a name. There was no need to confront you.

Though as much as he hated ever asking and wanted to take it back, to his dismay, you took it on the chin and chuckled. “It's your name.” Your eyes remained on his, your mug clink-clink-clinking as you stirred on it.

“Everyone calls me Curly.”

“Everyone calls you Curly,” you repeated. That's when you dropped your gaze, and he hated how his eyes immediately followed the line of sight down onto your mug, as if desperate to chase it. You continued stirring on your coffee—surely it's at a drinkable temperature by now—and he debated on getting his own cup. It'd be a waste of time to try to sleep now; no way that he wouldn't overthink and repeat this conversation ad infinitum in his mind.

Eventually, you looked up and he met your eyes at an embarrassing speed. His gaze flickered onto your lips when they quirked into a smile, as if you remembered something funny. You then, with a gentle hand, slid your mug over to him.

“What if Grant gets lonely?”

That was the stupidest thing you could've said.

After all, weren't Grant and Curly the same person? Why the need for that distinction? That's when he realised your eyes were still meeting his; unwavering, curious. You weren't looking at the curly blond hair, the Pony Express uniform, or the body he'd worked so hard to get—just his eyes.

Grant wanted to laugh—actually, he did laugh, it seemed, when a chuckle bubbled out of him.

“That makes no sense.”

He reached for the mug you offered and took a sip. Then, he lowered his cup to speak, his voice softer this time:

“...But I'm sure Grant appreciates the company.”

That was the stupidest thing he could've said. You told him as such with your own chuckle.

“I'll keep on sticking by Grant, then.”

His eyes flickered onto your lips again, and it became abundantly clear that you’d grin every time you said the name Grant; first, an ‘o’ shape with your mouth for the ‘gr’, then you'd widen the shape for ‘an’—before finally grinning to enunciate the ‘t’. Grant; one syllable, a hop down the stairs, a period in a sentence, finishing off a dance with the last step. He teared his eyes away and brought the mug to his lips again, a faint heat rising to his cheeks, but it was too late; now he wouldn't be able to stop noticing your smile every time you said his name or the way you said it.

Ever since then, every time he'd hear a “Grant!” he'd turn his head that way—no longer out of a sense of obligation, but because he wanted to. Because maybe if he turned fast enough he'd catch a glimpse of your smile mid-Grant… But then he'd probably turn his head right back, eyes wide in a panic, because oh god he's not supposed to be anticipating his crewmate’s smile like this.

He’ll think about the implications of his feelings as the captain of The Tulpar later, but for now… It's not so bad being Grant.

[biblically-accurate-dca]

painting test with a limited color palette

here's the sun equivalent!

[a-big-chicken-nerd]

i told my mom like "i think the ice emperor hyperfixation is starting to fade and its so miserablre i miss him so much" and she just held up the printed photo of the bell pepper emperor and she was like "idk it still doesnt look like youre completely normal about him though" LMAOO

[idcpxseur]

MORE random hcs that will potentially appear in my rewrite

not all of them are headcanons, some of them are lore drops that i decided to throw in for funsies

ive had this sitting in my drafts for so long

[ link to my last hcs post in case ya missed it ]

aphmau is obsessed with dating sims (this was inspired by me discovering blooming panic)

aphmau is a compulsive doodler. to the point where she keeps a little notepad in her bag so she doesnt draw on her hands

laurence is visually impaired/going blind

travis, garroth, and katelyn have all gotten their tongues stuck to frozen lightpoles in their lifetime

dante & travis are childhood friends and travis had a crush on dante in highschool

katelyn and lucinda met in middle school and have had a weird love/hate relationship since

cadenza, kiki, and zoey live in a neighborhood close to the main cast

nana goes by [kandi/honey/sugar] not kawaii chan (there was no way i was keeping that stupid nickname. havent picked which nickname shed go by)

aphmau loves dating sims and got katelyn and nana hooked on them too

nana is actually a magicks user just like in mcd

she uses her little maids to do her chores around the house (katelyn and aphmau hate her for it)

aphmau had a fnaf hyperfixation and infected the entire group with it

aside from nana, who hates anything even remotely spooky

during halloween on mystreet, aaron has dressed up as ghostface

everyone lost their minds

aside from aphmau and katelyn, who laughed at everyone losing their minds

nana actually has an intense fear of relationships which is why she obsesses over other people's relationships because she romanticizes them in her head

garroth, despite also being of the fruity variety, is the friend who buys anything rainbow and gives it to his gay friends

laurence has been and will continuously be the main victim of this

garroth also has no idea what a lot of the flags mean despite everyone reminding him

katelyn has bpd

and he frequently wears crop tops to show it off too

travis is a lil sleepy guy. if hes not doing something important, you can and often will find him curled up snzzing

and we love him for it

aaron is the friend that carries around shit for his friends

specific stim toys for specific people (chewables and clicky keyboards for aphmau, a puzzle ball for zane, soft weighted plushies for nana)

hes got a man purse /hj

aphmau has two long, jagged, faded lines on her back that she was born with. they look like were once deep scars

but theyve never went away and only seemed to have gotten bigger??

while not a big practicer of the craft, travis seems to be really good with witchcraft and magicks

no one knows what his magicks is though because both lucinda and nana have said it feels off

aphmau used to scare zane in a weird way. which is why (aside from just hating everyone and everything) he avoided her for so long before they got close

that fear is gone though

...mostly

travis has dressed up as spiderman for several halloweens in a row

aphmau and zane have gotten hyperfixated on beetlejuice together and dressed up as bj and lydia for halloween and cons

not at all inspired by myself and my best friend wdym

okay this hc list is even longer. i was supposed to be writing but i ended up... not doing that.

anyway thats enough for today!! sorry for my absence im focused on actually pushing out the fucking rewrite instead of just yapping about it

[ya-boi-ferals]

Was able to create these redesigns while we had nothin to do in classes. Im tryin to slowly make myself fall in love with art again and my hyperfixation on mlp redesigns are helpin me do that >:'] ...and oh boi this is gon be a long post feel free to read my rewrites ehe

I had so much fun through the whole process for this one! (Tbh the mane 5 becomin more like semi ocs now) For my version, Pipp is more of an actress/performer who does multiple side gigs and hobbies. Shes basically the city's "angelic sweet girl" since shes known for playing a soft and whimsical persona, often doing her iconic closed in ears and faded voice to give a more innocent look for the public. Her attitude is no different in private but she forces herself to stay too positive even when shes in need of relieving some strong emotions. Im not a fan of Pipp being a stereotypical phone addict in the show so I instead headcannoned her as neurodivergent and needing a distraction everytime or else she gets all panicky when shes doesnt have anything to do, she tends to overshare info, forgets to rest, known to take other's spotlight away and dissociate a lot (especially when reading fan comments) Shes disabled and uses formed cloud wings designed by her sister.

As for her redesign, I made her mane to be more stylish as a way to show her expertise on hairstylin. Her tail and tiara is rose shaped to go with her last name "Petals". And her colour pallete is brownish purple and powdered pink to give her character a more softer feel.

Lmaoo I have a lot to say- Anyways heres an old piece i made for zipp Im still confused how to draw her hair patterns...

In my ver. Zipp is well known for bein hardworkin and intelligent. Shes not ready to be queen and often "slacks off" with her main royal duties but she organizes and fixes problems happening outside the castle by talking to the staffs. Shes extremely curious and learns a lot of random detailed infos since she was young which ended up makin her become great at managing situations happening in and out the city, which is why her mother is so persistent on makin her the next queen. Zipp is a solutionist and researcher but she only focuses on what catches her interest before goin on the to next. (Ngl all the mane 5 are neurodivergent to me) Because of how determined she is on those interest, shes made several secret places to avoid just doin main work. Her fav studies are chemistry, physics, cosmology, ecology and aeronautics. Shes mysterious to the public eye but her friends know that shes just a bundle of hyperactive mess once she starts discovering smth new. I assume og Zipp is secretly non-binary coded but for my version, shes a transmare and everypony already knows and accepts it.

I gave her a more light pink and blue green mane colour. Her bangs are like sherlock holmes' as to pay homage for zipp bein a detective in the series along with some side braids. I also gave her twilight freckles and tired,soft looking eyes (not only cuz shes a workaholic like Pipp but its also cuz of genetics)

Aight, I was never really a fan for givin the mane cast just one element and the fact that G5 series havent showed any mentions of it just made it seem unimportant. Soo I instead gave them multiple elements that the mane 5 will develop as their journey goes on. Pipp will be the element of Strength, Purity, Assurance, Control, Pride, Value, etc. While Zipp is the element of Curiosity, Determination, Potential, Wonderment, Eagerness, Persistence, etc. (I imagine if twilight would have ever come back from the dead she would most likely write down what their elements would be as she observes the mane 5)

[theatreofwysteria]

DOTTY having SO MUCH FUN (just like me. everyday is a fun day.) (except thats a LIE and im actually REALLY STRESSED)

anyways, i wont get into the details (except i will, i am a liar mueheh) becos the internet doesnt need to know how genshin impact is literally my only raison d'être. yes that sounds depressing. IT IS depressing. thats why i always try to cut my hyperfixes down the second they start cos ive been playing genshin since march5 2021 with no real break and it has done NUMBERS on my brain. i have severe social issues so i dont go out. all i know is genshin and its 🔥🔥so bad🔥🔥 which is why im always begging for friends so i dont lose touch 😭 (also emojis r working for me!!! yaay!!!) my own personal mortality is dawning on me as welll yippeeee hnnennnnn!!.!.!!.!.!. - yesterday i decided to help at tearoom!:! and today? becos of how little i do, my legs were shaking and painful the whole day. horrible. i need stuff to do because not only am i stuck in 4 (or 6 i suppose) walls all day, but also cage of my devices. the world is slipping out of my grasp because of the changing tides so much; to go out in public risks people recording my strange movements and laughing at it, to just go out into the garden is what i always do. to stay at home is the same as ever. im at a loss really and no amount of drawing dottore in bright colours can fix how quickly im fading out and away of society

maybe i should build a swing? i dont know how but i have a lot of dead trees and minimal talents + knowledge from design tech in middle school. should i build a nice swing?? :DDD

anyway, just like last post, i wanna show off some oc stuff that im proud of :D

characters today r wisteria (who my account is named after!! he's my dreaming partner), seraph, aria (again...) and march!!

[arsen1cs4ng0]

looking back at old memories...

"you've been reliving those same memories again. yet you still have hope for something that can't be fixed."

2022 doesnt feel real to me anymore now lol a lot has happened since then. watch how a vosim-obsessed kid gets trauma slapped into their face over and over!!

explanation for this piece under the cut!!

the character who's looking at the little memory clouds is called comfrou. in the starlands (a little comfort world i made in my head. its where most of my ocs live), hes pretty much a god, as he represents my comfort characters. the person talking to him is marshie/marshmallow, which most of you know as my vosim gijinka (the fluffy-white-haired one). the two are in starfort lights, where my core memories are stored, as well as it being a safe haven. only a select few are able to access starfort lights.

the memory cloud on the top left shows columbia, my miisona. they represent me in jan/feb 2022. this specific memory shows me stimming to vosim following me on twitter!! isnt that cool??

the memory cloud in the middle shows cake the pink rat and lil guy the 2st both being epic!! that memory represents the time where my vosim jink hyperfix was at its biggest. cake was my sona during that period, so of course i had to include them >:]

the memory cloud on the top right shows care, one of my comfort ocs. that memory shows me realising my chip interest was slowly fading away. :[

the memory cloud on the bottom left shows comet, one of my sonas. that memory represents september 2022 onwards, with me spending most of my time and energy protecting my friends. a lot of headaches, a lot of breakdowns.

the memory cloud on the bottom right shows genghis, my new truesona!! it represents me today, still constantly reliving the trauma i endured throughout 2022. point and laugh at me guys i shouldve moved on from that months ago ;___;

[meek-shall-inherit]

okau soo basicallyyyy ^_^

starting with wired wrong and the spine in general , and autism

these can very easily be read as a neurodivergency/autism allegory . i dont think i need to explain here really .

to me these are about finding out its not just you that has something wrong with them and its not actually "wrong" . its just how you are . "Sometimes i think that i am the only one / whos been built poor in the way he runs / but how can that be ? am i really that flawed ?" Supports this

this reads like that part of finding out youre neurodivergent where its like . that cant be true . ive been functioning completely fine and normal my whole life . the denial phase yk . This also ties in with spine's recurring masking allegory [and whole character tbh .that thang has autism and 4 secret other disorders] , seen in robot 8:00am and his updgrade in the 50s .

robot 8:00am is a short video uploaded on the band's youtube . it starts with the spine in his usual makeup/paint , he walks up to the camera and starts painting over himself with peach paint .it cuts and shows his actor without any of the makeup on and he puts a jacket on and walks out the door , text fading onscreen that says "human 8:45am"

this is a masking allegory 2 me . having to pretend youre someone youre not and never will be yk how it is . along with his upgrade in the 50s hes very clearly supposed [or on accident but . Very probably not on accident] to be an autism allegory .

the upgrade ive been vaguely reffering to is where he agreed to let walter robotics make him more human-like . on the timeline this upgrade happened before they started performing . his .whatever the robot word-equivalent of skin is was replaced to be completely silver [except his joints gotta like .be able to move] instead of his more robot-looking body . after a few in real life years he changed back to the pre-upgrade design . comparison below [upgrade on the left , current on the right]

Conclusion for this part the spine has autism [also supported by his hyperfixation/special interest in cowboys and "boring books" that i didnt mention in the text] and he has a mini character arc about learning to accept who he is , symbolized by him going back to his original design . also in their youmacon 2013 performance theres a bit where hatchworth and rabbit put their hands on his shoulders and he says "i told you not to touch me" and in one of their street performances he asks if the jon was being sarcastic during one of the improv bits

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next is zer0 and dissociation . the main evidence for this is lyin awake and its music video .

for context , zer0 was locked in a basement for 90 years because he was only built for war and not music aswell like the other automatons [he was eventually updated to be able to play music too] .

this song is about his time in the basement . i physically cant picture a way this wouldnt be about dissociating due to spending so long in the basement . as a median system this whole song perfectly encapsulates how dissociating feels

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finally , malfunction and rabbit [ft the spine] [this part lowkey does not make sense warning]

rabbit has a stutter shes very proud of , she doesnt try to hide it at all and thats def what this songs majorit-ily about but i think its also about neurodivergency a little bit too . The music video begins with rabbit just sitting in a chair and staring into space and theres a part with her sitting in a bathtub and im projecting 💥 . this also ties in to spine's mini character arc , he sings backing vocals in this song

---

Tldr all of them are autistic and have different combos of disorders . Those robots are neurodivergent . I think the only part that makes sense is the spine part oops :3

Does anyonw wanna hear my thuoghts about the spg neuodivergency subtext .i try to lean against the wall to look cool but i lean the wrong way and immediately die with a singular yelp

[corrodedhawkins]

confession - i have an obsession with eddie munson/joseph quinn (i mean we all do considering we read your blog lol) but mine is kinda concerning :( like in my free time i read fanfics about him, look at pictures of him, draw him, etc...but like im not a creepy stalker like some other fans. i just have an unhealthy obsession with someone who doesnt know i exist lol

Hey, me too 🤷🏻‍♀️ from May-early September it was really bad like hyperfixations usually are at first. I’m sure it’ll fade a little bit with time and if it doesn’t? Nothing wrong with that

[pixel-mess]

I AM SO ANGRY RN!

vent under cut

so yesterday, my mom & dad were going to go on a date, and my mom promised me that i would be able to play the stanley parable. now this is great, because if i dont play it every few days my hyperfixation starts to fade. but then, they ended up canceling their date. I asked if i would be able to play the stanley parable and my mom said "no, tomarow"

cut to today, I am excited to finally be able to get a refill on my hyperfixation meter, and i ask "will I be able to play the stanley parable?" and my mom says "tomarow"

WHAT THE FUCK!!?!?!? IM SO OUTRAGED AT THIS

I KNOW I SHOULDNT BE

I KNOW IM JUST BEING A WHINEY BRAT BECAUSE I CANT PLAY VIDEO GAMES

BUT I DONT CARE

I WANT TO PLAY THE STANLEY PARABLE AND SHE HAS BROKEN HER PROMISE TWICE NOW

I GET THAT I SHOULDNT BE ANGRY ABOUT THIS

THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH ACTUAL PROBLEMS!

BUT I STILL AM ANGRY! DESPITE THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE!

ITS FUCKING ABSURD

I HATE ANGER

AND THE WORST PART IS THAT THE STANLEY PARABLE IS A HUGE SORCE OF HAPPYNESS FOR ME RIGHT NOW

I KNOW THATS JADED AND SHALLOW "owww my only sorce of happiness is video games! im such an addict lol!1!!!1" BUT ITS TRUE]

I SHOULDNT BE SO ANGRY

AND IM ANGRY THAT I AM ANGRY

I HATE THIS

I HATE EVERYTHING

I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND SHOUT AND THROW A TEMPER TANTRUM

BUT I CANT DO THAT

I AM 14 YEARS OLD! I CANT JUST ACT LIKE A CRYING TODDLLER WHENEVER SOMETHING DOESNT GO MY WAY

YET IM STILL ANGRY!!!! WHY!?!?!? WHY!!?!??!?

[vampmilf]

yes!!! lay all your love on me + angeleyes dhfns

What do y’all have on your unhinged Izzy playlists?

[renegadeshroom]

ANYWAY congratulations homestuck on turning 13!! i realised over the last year that i guess what youd call my hyperfixation on homestuck was finally fading after 8 years but i still love it and it does mean a lot to me and probably always will even if im no longer quite so uhhh feverish about it. i like reading those posts where people say it did a lot for them; introduced them to lifelong friends, helped them realise they werent straight/cis, etc... i wish i could say the same but to me it was just a funky little (lol, not so little) webcomic that did cool things and was fun to read and geek out about with friends sometimes BUT that doesnt like... diminish its personal importance to me! :] also happy 26th birthday june egbert you iconic little depressed bitch hope you get therapy sometime

[sajdd]

oh yeah i feel u on the fandom thing man, i used to be part of the jojo fandom here and just. goddamn. it was a bad enviornment (dont wanna say toxic because i met some really cool people there) filled with discourse and the like. sucked because jojo is a super fun show that i love dearly but the fandom ruined it for me for like a year until i rewatched recently

man rip

idk i dont want to say its been ruined for me, theres tons of rlly cool ppl here, but some things just make me tired of engaging in this fandom sometimes also combined with my hyperfixation sorta slowly fading out (except on crime boys ill never get tired of those losers and sbi in general) its just made me care less abt engaging bc yeah

especially in terms of lore becausw 8 million month hiatus + there always being Weird Takes sorta makes me like hmmmmm im not sure i wanna be here

idk this is more of a me issue than anything, bc brain go brr, BUT WATCH ME TAKE IT ALL BACK AS SOON AS WE GET SOME WILBUR OR TOMMY CONTENT..

c!tommy has moved into my brain PERMANENTLY.

sorry if this is rambly or doesnt make sense also its late, im tired akndmamx

[fictionkinfessions]

i feel so bad because i want to only date other trollkin but idk any other trollkin, and not to mention how since i kin Eridan, its so hard for me to keep a partner because im such an insufferable asshole, (not in like an abusive way in a, "oh i act like my kin a lot and my kin is kind of a dick bc he doesnt know how fo express emotions" ) and ALSO im scared my kintype is gonna fade because im autistic and homestuck is a hyperfixation of mine so i question if im faking it constantly

[year2000electronics]

now you can make that spmvrai askblog /j

YEAAAAAA /j

if the hyperfix on hlvrai doesnt fade though, my postgame askblog will come eventually.

maybe.

i got insecure about the amount of askblogs so maybe not.

[sociallyawkward--fics]

heyy xy its been a while again idk how long i wanted to send smth earlier but my brain wouldnt let me so:// im kinda Going Through It rn tho& surprise its abt my romanticality again but this time it has nothing to do w a crush. its ,, i was wondering how romantic attraction felt so i did a question thread on twitter but the answers ,, were all stuff ive felt ?? &i think maybe ive been thinking of romantic attraction wrong this whole time but ?? how do i know ?? -H (it is. frustrating)

its like ,, i love the idea of cuddling& holding hands& hugging& yes that could be platonic but ,, ive never kissed anyone but i think it could be smth i enjoy& maybe even smth i want but it wasnt ever anything i thought abt until now ,, recently ive kinda been wanting to date someone nonromantically ?? but how do i tell if the way i want it is romantically or not ?? romantic attraction is just a thing u feel right u dont get to decide whether or not its romantic attraction it just is right?? -H

&i have gotten my own version of crushes but its always ,, i just rly want to be their friend or in extreme cases just ,, like me the way i like them, like liking me best ig ?? but maybe i have wanted to date them& just didnt realize it ?? when i get crushes i think of them a lot& want to be around them& i get butterflies& all the things ppl say they get with romantic attraction. but then ill ask myself if its romantic& i just feel like No. It's not ??? -H

romantic attraction always just felt so ,, other ?? so even now that i realize what i want is what ppl who feel romantic attraction want it just doesnt feel right ?? ive never kissed anyone& ive never dated& maybe if i did those things id know ?? &sometimes ill wish i had a partner but like in a queerplatonic way i think ?? i just want to do traditionally romantic stuff but ,, without it being romantic ?? but thats not how it works is it ?? -H

like if u feel& want all the things that comes with romantic attraction then that means u experience them romantically ?? maybe ?? i cant wrap my head around wanting all those things but not romantically ?? bc romantic attraction is defined as wanting things like dating& kissing& cuddling - not some other alien feeling i thought so ?? maybe im greyromantic or lithromatic or bellusromantic but ?? how do i know ?? -H

maybe im just too young to completely know how i feel ?? maybe if i dated someone or kissed them id know ?? &i kinda rly want to do those things just to know how id feel bc im tired of not knowing im already confused abt my gender identity if i dont know my romanticality what do i know ?? -H

lmao so im over my crisis nvm -H

i dont remember exactly what i was saying but theres a difference between wanting those things& like ,, wanting them from a person yknow maybe i want to be kissed but only theoretically bc who do i want to kiss me then ?? any strong feelings usually fade when i get to know the person so. also apparently romantic attraction is Not just wanting those things apparently theres supposed to be a feeling that comes with it idk -H

help i found u on tiktok while looking through aroace tiktoks skjdjk i saw u& i was like xy ?!?!! u exist in places outside of tumblr ?!?!??! unbelievable -H

i saw ur undertale hcs tiktok& i highkey panicked bc ive been hyperfixating on undertale for like ,, a month now, so it was my 2 favorite things : aspec hcs& undertale. personally i see papyrus as aroace bc of his whole speech after ur date with him& its like ,, a v v important hc to me bc hes the only character ive ever felt i had representation in sjdhfks idk hes like my comfort character now -H 

aahhh but yea ive been hyperfixating on undertale so badly but :/ we lost our switch :/ so i couldnt play :/// i had to resort to watching playthroughs on yt. i have watched dan& phils playthrough 3 times& i am going on a 4th. luckily we did find our switch !! &i cant wait until i get papyrus' phone number so i can go through every room& call him& then befriend undyne& go through all the rooms& call him again to see if the responses have changed -H

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I’m So Sorry it took me literally like 2 months to answer these, I promise i wasn’t ignoring you, I just have Stupid Brain!!

Imma be honest with you, romantic attraction is so confusing, and I can’t say I understand it myself. Also, that’s totally how it works. You can do romantically-coded actions with a queerplatonic partner and not have it be romantic at all. Sure, kissing and dating and cuddling are romantically-coded, but that doesn’t mean you have to be in a romantic relationship to do them; doing those things in a queerplatonic sense and not having any romantic emotions in it is totally valid. You can want all these things and still not have/experience romantic attraction. Take all the time you need to figure it out, though. I may tell everyone I’m grayro, but for sure that does not mean that I have it all figured out. I just say that because it’s the closest to whatever confusing feelings I’ve had lol. It takes time to work these things out, just do what feels right for you. You don’t need to force yourself into a romantic situation just to try and see if you’re aro. Honestly, to me? Nothing you’ve described seems inherently romantic. That all seems like it’s queerplatonic or just platonic.

Lol, yes I exist in places outside of tumblr on occasion. Tbh, since we all know I have no time-management skills, tiktok is a little bit why I’ve been so absent around here lately lol. I was focusing a lot on building my account and content there, but I really miss everyone over here and i miss writing my fanfics so I am Back and I’m gonna try and split my time better, now! Undertale is such a valid thing to fixate on, and Paps is such a valid comfort character. Aroace Paps is so valid, I only said grayroace Paps because 1) brain said “make him you” lol and 2) sometimes I think Papyrus/Mettaton can be cute if done right. And yeah, it’s so fun going through the rooms and just calling them lol