#if my friends figure out who the pov character is they will kill me lol

[pedroscurls]

Title: The Teacher (Part 4).

CHAPTER TITLE: Flashbacks

Character(s): Joel Miller, Reader (female, first person POV) Summary: Your relationship with Joel develops.  Word Count: 5,240 Author's Note: So, we’re definitely gonna dive a bit more deeper into the Reader’s history after the outbreak, so please be wary! Warnings are listed below. We’re in for an angsty chapter, but I promise it ends on a good note. (btw, this chapter definitely got way too ahead of me lol, enjoy) Warning: Mention of implied rape, killing, violence

Maria had visited you the following day. While Joel brought you comfort, so did Maria. You wondered if it was because she saved your life; though, she had always been so welcoming and understanding since the moment you met her. She never put any unnecessary pressure on you to open up or discuss things you weren’t ready to talk about. 

“So,” she began with a smile. “You and Joel seem to hit it off.”

You blushed instantly, trying to hide your feelings for the man. “He’s nice,” was all you said.

“Just nice?” Maria chuckled.

“He’s becoming a good friend,” you smiled. 

Maria gave you a knowing look, her head tilting in amusement. “Well, you must be really special.” 

“Why’s that?”

“Joel just doesn’t normally like to make friends,” Maria admitted. “It’s like he’s a different man when you’re around though. I mean, I’ve never seen him smile or laugh this much and I’ve known the man for years.”

You blush deepened and you shrugged a shoulder. “That’s a good thing, right?”

Maria nodded with a smile. “Oh my god, are you kidding? It’s the greatest thing. He’s less of a grouch.”

You laughed to yourself as your mind drifted to Joel. You had only been at Jackson for a couple of days and already, you had developed a crush on your next door neighbor. 

“Well, I suppose I should say you’re welcome,” you teased. 

Maria laughed at that, leaning back against the couch. “Aside from that, how are you doing?”

You cleared your throat, dropping your eyes for a moment. “Doing okay.”

“You sure?”

“I just–” You sighed. “I’m still getting used to everything. You and your father built this amazing place and don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful, but it’s just– It’s a lot.”

“That’s understandable,” Maria replied. “Everyone has their own process… You had been out there by yourself for a while so being here, in a place like Jackson, it can be overwhelming.”

You nodded in agreement. “I’m grateful, Maria. I am–”

She gave you a small smile. “Move at your own pace. Trust me, we want you to be comfortable here and we want you to feel safe. So, however long that takes, so be it. Just– Don’t rush it.”

You sighed, glancing over at her. You could see the genuine look on her face; her eyes were soft, displaying an emotion of empathy, and you felt a weight being lifted off your shoulders. “Thank you, Maria. I think once I start teaching, Jackson will start to feel like home.”

Maria nodded, “With that being said, I wanted to give you some updates.”

Your interest piqued and you listened intently. “Oh?”

“We’re building the classrooms right now and we’re deciding to put it in the middle of the community. There are plenty of parents who work around that general area, so it seemed like the best place to have the school,” Maria began. “We’re also going to have a meeting with the families next week so that they can meet you, you can meet them, and you can also meet the kiddos.”

You grinned as your mind drifted to the upcoming week. You figured that once you started meeting the kids and started teaching that you wouldn’t be so on edge; you hoped that Jackson would at least start feeling like a place where you could finally start living again. 

“I’m excited,” you replied. “I really can’t wait.”

“How do you feel about coming with me to the bar tonight?” Maria asked. “No pressure though.”

“Maybe for one drink.” 

She grinned. “Great. I’ll see you tonight.”

—

Later that night, you walked into the bar and noticed Maria immediately. You were wearing your boots with white fitted shirt tucked in with your light washed jeans and a flannel on top. She handed you a beer as you sat on a stool near the counter, looking around with a smile. 

It was cozy. There were string lights hanging from the ceiling, music filtering through the room, but you noticed how warm and welcoming it felt. Plenty of people had come up to introduce themselves, even meeting some of the parents and expressing their excitement for the school opening up. It started to feel like you were part of this community and you felt all anxiety and worries disappear when you started to get more comfortable. 

“Having fun?” Maria asked, leaning against the counter of the bar as she noticed you were halfway finished with your beer. 

“Surprisingly, yeah,” you smiled. “Thank you for inviting me out.”

“Anytime,” she grinned, pointing towards your beer. “Want another one?”

You shook your head. “One’s enough, thank you.”

Maria nodded and then grabbed your hand, motioning towards the dance floor. “You dance?”

“It’s been a while,” you replied, following her eagerly. “I might make a fool out of myself.”

Maria laughed and kept a hold of your hand. “Don’t we all?” 

“Fair point.” When she released your hand, you let your body sway to the music. The effects of the alcohol were burning through your veins, allowing you to fully calm down and just embrace the moment. Just a couple of days ago, you were so sure that you were going to die, but then Maria saved you and here you were, feeling surprisingly content and happy. 

“You can dance!” She exclaimed, her arms raising in the air as she danced to the music as well. 

You smiled, downing the rest of your beer and setting it on the counter. Returning to the dance floor, you shut your eyes and continued to sway, moving your hips rhythmically to the beat of the song. 

Tommy and Joel had walked into the bar with a groan. Their patrol was easy, but tiring. There were no signs of any Infected or any threats, so it was a good day. When they entered the building though, both men were surprised to see a crowd forming in the middle of the dance floor.

“That’s new,” Tommy said, ordering two beers. 

“Hm,” Joel said. “I’m only havin’ one beer and then I’m callin’ it a night. My back hurts.”

Tommy laughed to himself, handing his older brother a beer and shaking his head. “Alright, old man. One beer, that’s all.” 

Joel shut his eyes for a moment, taking a long swig of his beer as he felt himself slowly relax. Though, when he heard Tommy gasp, Joel opened his eyes to look over at his brother.

“What?”

“Look,” Tommy said, pointing to the dance floor. 

Joel turned his attention to the dance floor, his eyes immediately finding you. Though, his eyes drifted to the rest of your body, watching your hips move expertly to the song that was playing in the room. He grabbed his beer and took another long swig as he forced himself to look away.

“Looks like she’s havin’ fun,” Tommy smiled. “And she’s havin’ fun with my girl.”

Joel just nodded.

“Joel,” Tommy said, nudging his brother. 

“I should get goin’,” Joel said, eyes flickering over to you.

“Oh, come on. You know you don’t wanna leave.”

“Well, she’s havin’ fun and I don’t wanna–”

Tommy shook his head, calling out Maria’s name. You looked over at the sound of Tommy’s voice and immediately noticed Joel. Your cheeks had turned red and you removed your flannel once it had gotten a bit too warm. You were smiling though, following Maria to Tommy and Joel. Your eyes though hadn’t left the older man’s; once more, it felt like everyone else in the room had disappeared and the only person you saw was him.

Joel. 

“Hey baby. How was the patrol?” Maria asked, kissing Tommy’s cheek.

Tommy wrapped his arm around Maria, holding her close. “Was fine,” he said. “Nothing too out of the ordinary.” 

Joel didn’t reply. He kept his eyes on you once you were now standing near him. He wanted nothing more than just to sweep you off your feet and take you back home, but he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. 

“Wanna dance?” Maria asked Tommy, giving her husband a look to signal that they should give you and Joel some space.

“With you? Always. I’ll see you later Joel.” Tommy then turned to you and winked. “Nice moves you got there.”

You blushed, looking over at the younger brother. “It’s no longer a secret.”

Maria chuckled. “Now I’m wondering what else you got hiding.”

You laughed, shaking your head as the couple moved to the dance floor. Turning your attention back to Joel, you noticed how he was avoiding your eyes, sipping at his beer. 

“Um,” you started. “I’m glad you’re home safe.”

“Me too.” Joel replied. “How are you?” 

“Feeling really good,” you smiled. “Though, that may be the alcohol.”

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Just one beer,” you blushed. “I’m a lightweight.”

Joel chuckled. “Well, good to know. It’s good to see you havin’ fun.”

You nodded. “All thanks to Maria. She invited me out tonight.”

“That’s good,” Joel said, finishing his beer. He cleared his throat and motioned towards the door. “Well, have a good night.”

You furrowed your brow, pulling your flannel back on. “Wait, what?”

“I told Tommy I was just havin’ one drink and then I’m headin’ home.”

You bit your lower lip anxiously. “Would you be surprised if I told you that I told Maria the same thing?”

Joel’s eyes widened just slightly and when he looked you over, he noticed that you weren’t holding another bottle. So, he assumed that you were also now ready to go home. 

“Want some company on your walk home?” Joel asked.

“I’d like that.”

Maria and Tommy watched the both of you leave the bar and they turned to each other with a grin.

“They’re good for each other,” Maria told Tommy.

“Just as long as Joel gets outta his head,” Tommy replied.

—

The walk home was quiet, but you both were taking your time getting home. There was no rush and you enjoyed each other’s company anyway.

“So,” Joel began. “You mentioned last night that you were married.”

You nodded, looking down at your feet. “I was, yeah.”

“Lucky man,” Joel commented.

You blushed, looking up at him as he kept his eyes forward. “You remind me of him actually.”

He arched a brow, glancing over at you. “That so?”

You both stopped walking once you were at your porch, turning to face each other. It was a quiet night, the outdoor string lights illuminating both of your features just right. Joel’s hands were in his pockets and your arms were crossed over your chest. 

You looked up at him, staring into his dark brown eyes. You wanted nothing more than to just kiss him, to feel his lips, to feel safe again.

“Yeah,” you replied. “You make me feel safe, Joel.”

Joel cleared his throat, looking down at you. He inched closer, taking his hand from his pocket to move a strand of hair away from your face. His hand lingered on your cheek as his thumb gently brushed against your soft skin. He smiled, feeling you lean against his touch. 

“M’glad,” he whispered. “You’re somethin’ else, you know that?”

Suddenly, you took a step back. The look on your face shifted instantly and it was no longer a look of desire, of want, but was replaced with a look of fear. You weren’t looking at Joel anymore. Instead, you were looking at a different man. A man from your past and when Joel took a step closer, you immediately raised your hands up.

“Don’t.”

“Darlin’–” 

“I said don’t,” you repeated. “Get away from me.”

Joel’s brows furrowed, but he stopped himself from moving closer to you. He didn’t know what caused the drastic shift, but he hated the way you were looking at him. The fear in your eyes, but the threatening stance you were in… It was like you were a different person. 

“Okay,” he whispered. “Okay.” 

“You don’t get to hurt me again,” you mumbled, dropping your hands to your sides as it curled into fists. Tears were filling your eyes and Joel was at a loss. He didn’t know how to calm you down, how to make you see that you were safe and that whoever you were seeing wasn’t reality. 

“Darlin’,” Joel repeated. “You’re in Jackson, okay? You’re safe. Ain’t no one gonna hurt you, I promise.” 

“Stop!” You exclaimed, looking around frantically. You were vulnerable and when you realized you didn’t have any weapons, you kept taking a step back to further your distance. It wasn’t until you tripped over your own feet that you had fallen backwards, passing out in the process.

“Shit,” Joel mumbled. He scooped you up into his arms and brought you inside your home, looking around quickly. He gently set you on the sofa and grabbed a match to light up a candle. It was too dark, even for him, so once the candle was lit, he set it on the coffee table and sighed. He didn’t know what had just happened and he wasn’t sure if he should even stay, but Joel couldn’t help but stare at you. 

You were sleeping, but you didn’t look peaceful. Your lips were formed into a pout and your brows were furrowed together. You had curled up into a ball once Joel set you on the couch and he could hear your quiet mumbling. It pained him to see you like this, especially since just an hour ago, you were dancing, smiling, and having fun. 

Joel opted to stay, at least until you woke up. His back was killing him and he was exhausted, but you were far more important than sleep at the moment. He had to wonder how often your flashbacks occurred; he was fortunate to have had someone nearby, whether it was Tess, Tommy, or Ellie. He wasn’t ever alone and it put a lot of things into perspective when he found out that you had been on your own for over a year. He couldn’t imagine it. 

It had been a couple of hours later when you awoke. You sat up in a quick motion, looking around the room and noticing the single candle that illuminated the living room. You noticed Joel had fallen asleep on the single loveseat, realizing what had happened. You felt embarrassed; you had tried to keep the negative parts of your past to yourself, but Joel had managed to see it firsthand. 

You tried to think about what had triggered you. You knew you were both sharing a moment. You remembered the feel of his hand on your cheek and how you had willingly leaned against his touch. Then, you remembered what he said.

“You’re somethin’ else, you know that?”

To anyone else, it could have been sweet and special, but to you, it brought back memories of a past that you had tried to forget. It had been a year after you left the QZ in Washington, stumbling upon a group who had been happy to take you in. You kept your guard up though, making sure to keep your head down and contribute in any way that you can. 

But the leader. The leader had a thing for you. 

He had cornered you one night and said those same words. You could still remember the sound of his voice, the feel of his body forcefully against yours, the pain you felt when he hit you every time you tried to scream for help… It was something you would never forget and hearing Joel say those words had practically transported you back to that moment. 

You slowly stood from the sofa, trying to quietly tiptoe down the hallway, but you didn’t get far. Joel had woken up and called your name in such a soft tone that you immediately looked over at him.

“I–I’m so sorry,” you whispered.

Joel stood with a low grunt, walking over to you slowly. “Ain’t gotta apologize.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” you mumbled. “It was– It was just my shit coming back and I’m sorry you had to see that.”

Joel stood in front of you. He understood exactly what that meant, and experienced it almost every night. “Hey…”

You bit your lip, bringing your eyes up at him. “Joel–”

“I’m here,” he replied. “For you.”

“Joel, you barely know me… We just met and–”

“You make me feel alive again,” Joel blurted out. He brought a hand to rub the back of his neck, sighing quietly. “M’sorry if that’s a bit too forward, but–”

Your response was to wrap your arms around him in a tight embrace. His scent filled your senses, causing your eyes to fall shut. When his arms moved around to wrap around your waist, you held onto him tighter. 

Joel was taken by surprise when he felt your body press against his and your arms wrap around his frame. It didn’t take long before his arms wrapped around you as well, which caused him to feel your arms tighten around him. It was comforting, holding you this way and inhaling your scent. It felt like home. 

He then buried his face against the side of your neck, his nose brushing against your skin. Joel could have held you like this forever. 

You let out a shaky breath when you felt him move to bury himself against your neck. You felt his facial hair tickle your skin and his hot breath breathing against you. You had only known Joel for a couple of days and yet, this felt normal; it felt like you belonged here, in his arms. 

You hadn’t felt this safe in so long. 

You both stayed in each other’s arms for a few more minutes before you slowly pulled back. Your arms remained around his shoulders and his hands moved to rest on your hips. The distance between you both were mere inches and you could feel his breath against you. 

“Thank you,” you whispered. 

“Anythin’ for a friend.” 

Friend. 

“You should probably get home.” You said, pulling away from him and immediately missing his warmth and his strong arms around you.

Joel nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. “You gonna be okay?” 

“I will be. I’ve survived this long,” you let a small smile line your lips. “I’ll be fine.”

“Well, I’m just right next door. Don’t hesitate to come over if you need anythin’, okay?”

You nodded. “Okay.”

Before Joel left, he pulled you into another hug, his eyes falling shut as he felt his entire body relax. It had been so long since he felt this way, but there was just something about you that made every concern, doubt, and worry that Joel felt, disappear. 

“Goodnight, darlin’.”

You smiled against him, reveling in this moment. “Goodnight, Joel.”

—

It had been two weeks since that incident. You were slowly getting used to Jackson, now feeling like a part of the community. You still had nightmares, which happened more often than you liked to admit, but you kept it to yourself. Even when Joel asked how you were doing everyday, you had lied to him and said everything was great. You were glad he didn’t pry even further, simply just nodding and going about his day.

Since that night, it seemed like you and Joel had gotten closer. When he had the early morning patrols, he would come by your house with Ellie for dinner that it had become a routine for the three of you. You enjoyed their company though and Ellie knew just exactly how to get your mind off things; she was truly a breath of fresh air and you always found yourself laughing and having a good time with the young girl.

The school was finished; two rooms connected with a variety of small tables and chairs in each room. You had already met the parents and the children, thoroughly excited to start teaching again. You were going to teach all ages, but you had found that there were more younger kids than there were older ones. It seemed like most of the students you were going to teach would be around five to six years old with a small group of ten to twelve year olds. 

You had started teaching and it gave you a sense of purpose and reminded you so much of the old world. It was tough in the beginning, but once you settled into a routine, the kids had found it so enjoyable. You ended every day in the reading corner that you created. All of your students gathered around you, listening intently as you read to them; each day was a different book, but your students were so engaged.

You always stayed until each of your students were picked up by their parents or family members. One day, however, a little girl stayed later than usual. She was sitting at the table, drawing on a piece of paper when you walked over to her.

“Hi Rosie,” you smiled. Her hair was curly, messy, and sat on her shoulders. She looked up at you and flashed you a toothless grin. She had told you all about losing her front teeth and how excited she was that she was now getting bigger. 

She called you by your name with the Miss in front of it and then lifted the piece of paper for you to see.

“I drew a picture.”

“I see that, it’s beautiful.”

“It’s Jackson,” she grinned proudly.

“Looks exactly like it,” you smiled.

You were interrupted by the sound of footsteps running into the room. You looked up and noticed it was Rosie’s father. He was out of breath and had begun to apologize.

“I’m so sorry,” he said. Rosie grinned at the sight of her father, raising her arms to be picked up. “Patrol ran late.”

“No worries. Rosie here was just drawing a picture,” you smiled. 

“Thank you,” he said. “For staying with her. Having this school– It’s been a relief.”

You nodded. The other man was a bit older than you, taller, and definitely muscular. He had blue eyes, brown hair, and dimples whenever he smiled. He was handsome, but he definitely was no Joel Miller. 

“I’m glad,” you replied. “It’s been great to teach again.”

“I’m Jack. Rosie’s dad.” Rosie was already resting her head against her father’s shoulder, her eyes falling shut. 

“I remember,” you said. “We met during the meeting with the other parents.”

“Right,” he chuckled. “Sorry, it’s just been–” Jack sighed. “It’s been tough. Patrols are getting tougher. We’re encountering more infected…”

“Well, if you’d like, I don’t mind staying a bit longer with Rosie until you get back to Jackson after patrols.” You offered as your mind drifted to what he had said. Infected. You had killed plenty: clickers, runners, stalkers, even encountered a Bloater once, and it still terrified you. 

“Really?” He asked. “I mean, that’d be great, but you don’t have to. I can figure it out and–”

You shook your head, taking the drawing that Rosie had done and handing it to Jack. “I don’t mind, really. It’s okay.”

Jack smiled, letting out a sigh of relief. “You’re amazing. I owe you.”

You simply gave him a smile. “I’m your daughter’s teacher. It’s part of my job. Don’t worry about it.”

—

You were surprised to see Joel sitting on your porch once you finally walked home. When he saw you, he gave you a small smile and stood from his seat. You walked up your steps and looked over at him, giving him a tight hug.

“Hi,” you said.

Joel returned the hug and immediately missed your warmth once you pulled away to open the door. “Long day?”

You nodded, though you couldn’t stop thinking about what Jack had mentioned about his patrols. It was brief and not a lot of information, but it was enough for you to start ruminating on. Joel followed you inside and you quickly lit up a few candles to illuminate your living room and he noticed how quiet you had gotten again. It was something he took note of for the past couple of weeks. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” you lied. “I’m just tired.”

“Should I go?”

Then, you blurted. “What’s going on outside of Jackson?”

“What?”

“Joel…”

He sighed. “Nothin’. We got it handled.”

“What’s going on?”

“Darlin’, you ain’t gotta worry about it.”

“Well, I am!” You exclaimed, not realizing how loud you had gotten. For weeks, you were putting on a facade, a front, masking your emotions and pushing away the nagging thoughts and flashbacks. 

Joel was taken aback, looking at you with a furrowed brow. “It’s under control.”

“You’re lying,” you said. “Don’t lie to me, Joel.”

Joel sighed, running a hand over his face. “You’re safe here, in Jackson.”

“Bullshit,” you spat. 

“What’s really goin’ on?”

“I can’t relax,” you mumbled. “I can’t sleep and when I do, I wake up in a sweat and frantic state.” You admitted. “Teaching is a good distraction, but I just thought– I thought I’d be okay.”

“You are,” he sighed. “I’m tellin’ you the truth. We have it under control.”

“The last time someone told me that our entire group was overrun,” you replied almost immediately. “So please… I can handle the truth.”

“The infected…” Joel let out an exhale. “We’re encounterin’ more of them on our patrols, but darlin’, we do have it under control. It’s just tiring.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I didn’t wanna scare you.”

“I’m not this fragile little thing that you have to handle with care,” you said. “Stop treating me like I can’t handle myself, like I can’t handle what’s out there. I’ve done it! I’ve experienced it! I was out there, on my own, for over a year!” 

“Okay,” he said. “Okay,” Joel repeated, trying to step closer to you but noticed how you had moved back and away from him.

“You don’t know half the things I’ve done to survive, Joel,” you admitted. “It haunts me… Every second of the day and I can’t run away from it.”

“You did what you had to, to survive,” Joel replied. It was ironic that he was saying the same words that Tommy had told him. Joel understood your dilemma, related exactly to what you were feeling, experiencing, and here you were, being open and vulnerable with him.

“No,” you shook your head. “No.”

“Darlin’...”

“Did you ever stop to think how I made it this far?” You asked. 

“I don’t need to,” he replied. 

“I’ve done so– so many unthinkable things, Joel,” you said with a shaky voice and teary eyes. “I’m so broken…”

“Hey…” Joel hated seeing you like this, hated hearing you talk about yourself like this. “Look at me…”

You looked up at him and felt yourself relax. You had been on edge for weeks and it finally came crashing down. You thought you could push this aside, to force yourself not to think about your past, but it was tough. Your nightmares served as a daily reminder of the things you had done, the people you killed… It was just too much.

“You ain’t alone in feeling like that,” Joel added. He knew that feeling all too well; being broken, damaged goods, and feeling like he didn’t deserve anything good because of the bad things he had done. He took a step closer and sighed in relief when you didn’t move away. “I– I have nightmares too.”

That wasn’t surprising to you. You had heard stories from the people in the community, but truthfully, it didn’t scare you. In fact, it made you feel safer to know that Joel would do anything for the people he cared about. 

“H– How do you deal with it?”

“I don’t,” Joel admitted. “But I probably should.”

“We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” You sighed.

“Come ‘ere,” he whispered, pulling you into his arms. When he felt your arms wrap around his shoulder, Joel moved his arms to wrap around your waist. Once again, he held you like this, feeling your warmth radiate against him and the feel of your chest heaving against his own. 

“Joel,” you whispered to him. “You’re the only one that can calm me down, that can make me feel safe and I don’t know what that means, but–”

He held you tighter, pressing his lips to your temple. Joel sighed contentedly before he quietly interrupted you. “I’m here… I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

You pulled back to look up at him. Your lips were mere inches from his and your arms remained around him. “Joel…”

“Hm?” He whispered, moving his hands to your hips. Joel rubbed circles against the fabric of your shirt, feeling it slightly lift upwards as the pads of his thumbs touched your skin.

“Can I– Can I kiss you?” You asked. A blush crept along your neck to your cheeks, biting your lower lip in anticipation.

Joel smiled and moved a hand to cup your cheek. The pad of his thumb brushed against your cheek as he leaned down to capture your lips with his own. 

It was electrifying, feeling your lips slowly move against his. Joel kept his hand on your cheek and used his free hand to bring you flush against him, his hand moving from your hip to your lower back. 

You had imagined this moment plenty of times and yet, this was far better than your imagination. Joel kept a protective hold around you as you felt yourself mold against his strong frame. Your lips moved expertly with his and when you whimpered, Joel used that as an opportunity to dart his tongue out. It was perfect and it was intoxicating.

Joel had to pull away, feeling the center of his pants tighten from the pressure of his member pressing against the fabric. 

“We should–”

“Can you stay?” You interrupted. 

“You sure?” Joel asked.

You nodded. “I just– I don’t want to be alone.”

“That makes two of us,” he whispered. Joel leaned down to peck your lips, smiling once he pulled away. 

You led him down the hallway and to your bedroom. You removed your boots and socks, tossing your flannel to the side. You lied back in bed, clad in a t-shirt and jeans before watching Joel do the same with his own boots. When he climbed into bed with you, you felt yourself instinctively move closer to him. 

Joel was lying on his back with his arm stretched out for you. You smiled to yourself and moved closer until your head rested against his shoulder, his arm wrapping around you. 

The string lights from outside illuminated your room, giving you and Joel a perfect view of each other. You were staring into each other’s eyes before he leaned down to press his lips against yours once more. 

You moved to lie on your back, feeling him move to hover above you. Joel gently bit at your lower lip, hearing you quietly moan against his lips. The sounds you were making immediately caused a reaction from him, blood rushing straight down to the center of his pants. 

“Joel…” You mumbled against his lips.

He pulled back, his arm propped up with his other hand resting on your hip. “M’sorry, we should stop.”

You shook your head. “I want you.”

Joel grunted lowly. “A– Are you sure?”

“Take me, Joel.”

---

Part 5.

Taglist (let me know if you'd like to be tagged!): @rye-flower, @3zae-zae3, @orangevtae, @flippittygibbitts​, @blairfox04, @ohthemisssery​, @avengersfan25​, @somebodytookmyusername​, @littleshadow17​, @beltzboys2015-blog​

[aphroditelovesu]

So, with chapter 11 of TLQ now out, I have so many thoughts. I'm going to break this latest spiel into 2 bits so I don't go over the character limit. Hope you don't mind!

Part 1: Perdiccas

I did not have Perdiccas helping the Persians and kidnapping Reader on my TLQ bingo card. That certainly explains why he was an outcast in that holiday imagine. In any case, I think it's a brilliant twist on your part!

I have a theory that Ptolemy will be the one to figure out what Perdiccas has done, or at least have an inkling. From the previous chapters, it's clear that he knows Perdiccas has feelings for her (he even told him he couldn't have her). When it becomes clear that both Reader and Perdiccas are gone, he'll be smart enough to connect the dots.

I also realize that through his choice, Perdiccas has irreversibly changed how history will view him. He will no longer be remembered as Alexander's reagent who was killed by his own men. He'll be remembered as a disgrace who betrayed his friends to the Persians and helped to kidnap Alexander's (possibly pregnant) wife. A lot has changed already.

There's also the matter of what this will mean for Reader. This kidnapping is a serious betrayal to her. It also shows that he's unwilling to understand and accept the choices she's made. All he can think about is how she rejected him, without considering why. It's not unlike how some 21st century men act, honestly. For me personally, this kidnapping would burn any remaining good will towards him. Perdiccas has shown that he is totally tied up I his own emotions and desires, and doesn't truly have our girl's best intentions as heart. She's like some prize to him, more than a person. He's just as bad, or even worse, than Alexander

Also, I liked the last scene at the end where the Persian spies use a chloroform like substance to knock reader out. I love how it took a few minutes to work. Gold star for medical accuracy 🌟!!!

Thus ends part one. I'll do part 2 later today ❤️!

-- O-

Reading your comments is always the highlight of my day! ❤️😊

I'm glad you liked it! The whole Perdiccas thing is… Complicated, to say the least. He committed an action that will change the entire story about him. Kidnapping his King's potentially pregnant wife is not the wise thing to do, but he was consumed by bad emotions and made bad choices.

Ohh… I like his theory, I won't confirm or deny it, but Ptolemy is always wise, isn't he? 👀

The story has changed a lot. I don't know if anyone noticed, but the timeline changed too! Events that were only supposed to happen much later were brought forward, this will be explained eventually. Ah, Perdiccas… What did you do?

Yes, yes. When she wakes up and regains consciousness, many emotions will pass through her. Fear and anger, mainly. I loved the analogy of some 21st century men with Perdiccas and it really makes perfect sense lol. Alexander and Perdiccas are the same but which of the two is worse will depend on your pov :).

Oh, oh! I'm glad you liked it! I literally remembered a scene from a K-drama where a guy uses this on a girl and I decided to adapt it. I tried to make it as real as possible. 🤗

[bonesandthebees]

*clears throat*

Anyway…

Things I liked about this chapter in no particular order:

The flashback with Niki and Quackity

Quakcity warning Wilbur about the bandits indirectly, doubles as foreshadowing and a hint that he’s behind it (though let’s be honest, it was probably Schlatt’s idea)

Oh and you should have seen my face when I realised [“Hand him over!”] I swear puzzle pieces have never snapped into place faster in my brain. I literally went “OH FUCK QAUACKITY WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Niki might think that Wilbur is lying again but I don’t have the mental energy to think about that right now for obvious reasons.

I cannot stress enough how much I’m here for this.

The l’manburg backstory. I was trying to put it together and analyse which character’s would be narrative parallels only the realise that it was literal based off of actually canon pogtopia and c!Wilbur and c!Tommy. I love it. Also made me think of Niki when she does not get the throne.

Wilbur saving Tommy’s life (twice? Attempted at least). Nothing says bonding like life or death situations.

Also at first I thought it might be something meant to be part of it or a plan by Phil and then the foreshadowing hit me like a truck.

Put Quackity and Schlatt on the most likely to be executed list right now. Not because I think Wilbur is smart enough to figure it out but because the person who was trailing him might.

Also, I love the consistent pov and the way you write it, but I would pay actual money to know how everyone reacts. I want my sand duo angst of Phil sending his son away against his will only to learn that might have killed him. I want to watch them turn the country upside down. I want to see Quackity in shambles because he might have killed his friends and the man he loves (? Is it mutual?) I want to see Niki’ reaction. But alas, we get Tommy and Wilbur in a SITUATION. Instead.

I do fully believe people will come looking for them, but now I’m worried we will get a chapter of snowstorm in the wilderness first.

Again I better get a sand duo hug after this is done. I need Wilbur to know that his dad loves him.

Also, at first I was like, “I wonder why Jack isn’t here?” Then the guards started getting sliced and I was like “oh that!s why.” Nobody gets plot armour in here. Jack’s cranckyness just saved his life.

Also, Tomys copying the way Wilbur eats his food tells us he looks up to him and trust his judgement. Maybe he did something right with his paranoia expenation.

Also, the consequences for this are going to be so good whether Wilbur figures out it was Quackity or not.

Anyway, I’m going to bed now. So good night! And a good day to you!!! What a great chapter I did not see that coming at all but I love it.

P.s. AO3 is being mean and Wouldn’t let me comment “BEE, WHAT THE FUCK!” but that genuinely was my first reaction.

-🌲

lol thank you, a lot of the flashback bit regarding wilbur and niki changed from what it was originally planned to be. I don't know how it happened but I got really into the flow of the scene and I'm very happy with how it turned out

HA the puzzle pieces falling into place about the bandits right at that moment. just "what's going on- OH"

I'm very glad you picked up on the l'manberg story not only being c!crime but also the parallels it could hold to rose!niki

life or death situations are the best for bonding!

don't be so sure we're only staying in wilbur's POV this time around spruce :)

LMAO yeah literally while I was writing about them leaving the palace in the morning I was like "shit wait I can't have jack here but I need to come up with an explanation for why he's not here" and jack's morning crankiness came about. he would've been killed so quickly by those bandits and I don't want this story to lose The Manifold so soon

wilbur and tommy eating their lunch is like that meme of miles morales and peter b parker in the first spiderverse movie you know the one

[azsazz]

Will you please please give us your thoughts on Iron Flame?!?!

Fourth Wing/Iron Flame Spoilers below cut!

So...

First off, there was so much world building that I was kind of confused. I just kind of gave up at some point and read it for the characters lol. maybe it's because i didn't re-read fourth wing before.

the names of everything was a little annoying because they were all so unique i spent like two minutes trying to figure out how to pronounce everything. like she has four basic names (liam, sloane, violet, jack) and the rest I'm like ?!?!?!? WHO?

Speaking of Jack...I'm not sure I liked that whole thing. There wasn't any alluding to the fact that he'd be back in the first book, and I feel like he basically appeared out of nowhere in the second. Yes, we knew the healer was helping mend his soul (which is interesting af to me because how many others could they have helped? or is it just because he was a venin?) but the man literally had a fucking mountain dropped on him?! No way he would've survived I'm sorry.

I thought all of the fighting between her and Xaden was kind of annoying...like come on. And we learned so much about xaden but not at all at the same time?! like, now he can read minds, which means violet misinterpreted the sage/venin dreams because I'm assuming they came from xaden now, he was probably projecting them on her subconsciously.

chapter 48 was hot tho, the throne sex stuff, always a banger in my book.

why the hell was everyone keeping so many secrets from violet. like xaden, the dragons, her family...they keep saying how smart she is and stuff but like, that doesn't mean she should have to figure out everyones secrets for themselves?! betrayal.

also, how the fuck does someone become venin? was that explained in the first book or this one because now xaden is somehow one and idk how that happened?!

low-key i'm happy dain and her are getting closer again, but also your childhood's best friend's dad trying to kill you? i feel like that was unwarranted tbh. then he got sent away because of it and i wonder if he's going to make a reappearance.

also, andarna...she was hardly in the damn book. and i didn't think her lines were anything really special. i feel like she's basically only in the book for one specific plot point and the rest she's just off sleeping or with the elders or doing something else so ry doesnt have to write her?

omg the part where nadine said she was violet and that guy immediately snapped her neck was fucking WILD.

and the whole thing with cat was like petty as fuck but her power seems interesting. i enjoyed reading the challenge violet had when she was messing with her emotions.

let's see...i wonder what violet's second signet is going to be. she kept mentioning how well andarna could blend into her surroundings so im wondering if invisibility is one that could happen...or maybe the transportation one that they said hadn't been a thing for a long time. i feel like why mention that if she isn't going to bring that back too.

also, the headers before each chapter scare me. RECOVERED letters from xaden to violet....recovered from where and why whats going to happen 😭

wow, this was a lot of thoughts lol...i also want a bonus chapter from tairn or another dragons pov because i feel like him and sgayl were fighting a lot this book but i want to know what they're saying to each other.

overall, i enjoyed the read and the midnight release experience was so much fun and cute and clever and i def think they should bring those back. maybe for cc3 they'll do that!

[juniperhillpatient]

How’s it going @juniperhillpatient ?

I just read chapter VII of “The devil You Know”. The chapter was a roller coster and the story is really heating up. Poor Yue…

Was it truly a mere accident that Sokka’s coffin laid on top of Yue’s and Fy Lee”. He is very suspiciously close to many deaths. Toph was killed soon after she found out he and Suki were implicated in (I think it was Chan’s?) death. Speaking of Suki, it’s quite interesting when she protested how her phone wasn’t working, only for Azula to notice that it suddenly began to work again when it came time for Yue’s video to appear. Yue of course being an idvidyal that Suki has a grudge against. Via Sokka. Speaking of Yue, her POV this chapter was a gut punch. As was Katara’s in the beginning.

Also Jets’s POV drew several points about Ty Lee from his perspective. That she was smarter than she initially appeared. And that she six identical sisters. In appearance and voice.

What if Ty Lee hadn’t died at all. What if merely faked her death (by sacrificing one of her sisters) and engineered the call to Azula. Blaming Zuko for something he hadn’t actually done. From Jet’s PoV we know that Ty Lee’s parents wouldn’t actually notice if one of their daughters disappeared. Which may make it easy for Ty Lee to fake her death and switch with one of her sisters. If indeed she is one of the killers. I could just be reading into something that is’t there after all.

One of the killers expressed heartbreak over Azula. And we know that something happened between her and Ty Lee. Maybe enough to push Ty Lee into being a killer? Their’s also Mai, who may have been acting the fool this whole time. Her anger at Azula is readily apparent. My distrust of the two stems from canon. Though their actions are understandable I’ve got a thing about people betraying their friends. So their deeds at the Boiling Rock still leave a bad tastes in my mouth. Minus saving Zuko/Sokka/Suki’s lives of course.

So I like Suki and Sokka for Ghostface. With Mai coming in as a secondary suspicion. And If my theory about Ty Lee faking her death is right, she immediately jumps to #I suspect

In the end scene, where Katara is perving on Azula. Is Azula blacking out like in the first chapter? In which Zuko is taking of Azula in that moment?

And a message for Azula. “Tell your girlfriend important shit! Your brother being accused (supposedly at least) in being a killer definitely qualifies. Also don’t cheat on her”. That’s a bit fucked up. Unless you blacked out for it. Which makes Zuko’s action monumentally more fucked up. But then, every character in this story is a bit screwed in the head. But then, that’s one (though by no means the only) of the reasons we love all the ATLA main crew (Gaang+Dangerous ladies+Yue).

Also, I’m pretty sure Kiyi is Hakoda’s and Ursa’s bastard child. Does Sokka suspect which married women that Hakoda slept with (Ursa?). He’s been a big brother figure to her thus far, so maybe. Out of all the characters, I’m hoping Kiyi lives. Even more so than Azula or Katara (I know, It me saying that!). Also hopeful she doesn’t end up as one of the killers…

I enjoyed the chapter, and am greatly looking forward to next! I want to see this mystery unraveled!

Bestie I wish you could like.....watch my face journey as I read through your speculations because I had a BALL reading this!

I seriously LOVE all the theorizing & I feel like I'm interacting less than usual with readers when it comes to this story because I'm always just like -

"love the theories :))))" but also I literally CANNOT respond with anything to theories without giving away if you're close or way off LMAO

But just know. I feel so validated in putting as much thought as I do into this story (trust me it's a lot lol) & I just get SO excited about seeing the different possibilities when I get messages such as this. Just - AHH !! :)

As for Kiyi - I can go ahead & confirm that she is indeed Ursa & Hakoda's child. I don't consider this a spoiler given it is pretty much confirmed in the latest update. More on how much Sokka knows about this very soon!

Anyway - THANK YOU. Whenever I see notifications from you I get so happy because you are so thoughtful & insightful & so supportive <3

[vacantgodling]

💚🍀 for the OC Ask Game!

thank you for the ask! i'll keep talking about nondisclosure :3 maybe i'll do the main ones + leo lol.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

nyseah: butch trans woman & she calls herself straight but queer and its just because transitioning made her relationship to her sexuality very complicated. she tends to be attracted to men or masculine people but because she's trans she doesn't think that any relationship that she's in will ever be "straight". and for her, its really more about who she jives with versus their gender identity-she wouldn't turn down a good connection basically. she doesn't try to label it but if she Had to that's what she'd say.

donte: cis man & mspec gay but far to tired to care about pursuing anything with anyone pff

alona: cis woman & bi

leonine: masculine nonbinary (they/he) & pansexual

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

so technically nyseah and alona came from the same OLD story that i used to have when i was like 12 and technically they haven't "changed much" in terms of the Very Very basic gist of their characters (nyseah is still a psychic nurse and alona is still a secretary of a corporation). i don't really know WHY i thought of these two but a lot of that old story that nondisclosure directly grew from was a clusterfuck and probably inspired by my desire to be quirky and love of anime.

donte is an interesting one, because i had an idea several years ago to make a d&d campaign that was kind of like a noir instead of a fantasy based thing (so like dnd rules but it was a noir). and instead of just me being a dm my idea would be to have a character in the story that the players all get information from and so i made his initials D.M (donte macbride). but bc i don't really have friends to do that kind of thing with and i don't know shit about dm-ing i decided to just kinda keep him on the backburner as an oc, and then ended up using him in a roleplay with one of my friends, wherein i developed his backstory (tldr don's mom was killed by a serial killer when he was 14 and while the police couldn't figure it out, he solved the case and killed the murderer in essentially one day and instead of going to jail, the head of the force at the time was like hey kid you got a talent for solving crime, ya wanna be a detective? and then he's been doing this shit for like 30-ish years pff. its slightly tweaked now to fit with the lore of this wip but the gist is the same), and i really fleshed don out as a character. and then my friend kinda lost interest in the roleplay, so then when i decided that i wanted to revamp alona and nyseah cuz i'm mad attached to them, i thought maybe i could toss him into the mix with the two of them to make a rotating 3-way pov narrative :D

leonine was a character in that roleplay i did with my friend and his backstory of being a celebrity who's friend was murdered and then he goes to don for help is also still the same. tbh they weren't supposed to be a character i got attached to but i liked his energy lol

[quortknee]

I am curious to know, what do you like the most of the WH40k universe and what do you like the least?

(note: i got too excited and rambled on for a while, sorry about the really long answer lol)

HI ANON, I’ve just recently gotten into warhammer proper— the black library more specifically. I’ve only read eisenhorn (excluding magos because I wanted to read ravenor beforehand), and the first three horus heresy books so far. I know about some other key story beats just because I am online™ and I cannot avoid the older, more well-known lore. I have never played the tabletop game nor any of the video games (yet). SO it’s a bit challenging to answer this properly.

that said,

off the bat if i could answer this OUT of universe, my favourite thing would be Dan Abnett just as a writer because that guy rules. my least favourite would be how games workshop is seemingly allergic to good business decisions regarding the reprinting of their older books and that they have done nothing to stop scalpers going hog wild lol. ALSO how mcneill writes women and "exposition" (aka tell and re-tell the reader important info so they KNOW it is important rather than treating the reader as a thinking being who can understand subtext and remember the most basic of things from previous chapters/povs/books)

jokes aside, here’s some answers to your question from my current perspective (this is so hard so im gonna share a couple rather than just one each, as i couldn’t pick. most of my gripes with 40k are out of universe minus one woman thing which ill mention below):

I very much enjoy the structure of the inquisition and how many moving parts and types of people an inquisitor employs while on the job. creates a really compelling and vibrant group dynamic within a noir-ish subgenre (i guess? i couldnt figure out how exactly to word that). although i am incredibly biased as the eisenhorn series has coloured my view on the inquisition quite ardently on its own so who knows!!

speaking of Eisenhorn and his crew; glossia is a really cool secret code concept and i personally love it, but that could also just be the romantic in me enjoying the beautiful idea of using personal relationships and poetry off hand with no written cipher to encode your speech

I love how chaos and faith are written as Things; how all of humanity is a hair’s width away from being corrupted, as it is simply the human condition to surrender to faith and “our” base values when threatened or otherwise. It’s really beautiful and tragic

speaking of tragedy; the creation and existence of each of the primarchs and their legions of astartes is just absolutely brilliant. The Emperor creating astartes after the thunder warriors (i think?) to give his soldiers more humanity overall and THAT being the thing that is his downfall (or ascension depending on how you look at it ig) is so beautifully tragic.

Fav characters so far have been literally every main/supporting character in Eisenhorn as well as Loken and Tarvitz from HH. I also think Magnus is really interesting as a primarch so far. Poor guy though lol. I am aware of his uh... big oopsie

Hereticus is still my favourite book I’ve read so far within the black library. (SPOILER: Fischig staying true to himself and his faith and doing all he can to save his friend but not knowing he just contributed to the very thing he hates most (chaos) through Osma, resulting in Medea having to kill him after hailing him to their location to give him a chance to apologize and rejoin the band (against Eisenhorn’s will). And THEN as a last stand while Aemos dies, he and Eisenhorn work together to turn Fischig’s freshly murdered corpse into a perfect daemonhost to imprison Cherubael as a weapon/tool for Eisenhorn to use in the coming battle… END SPOILER) I am still not over it and I don’t think I ever will be. That book is fucking nuts. Abnett did not have to go that hard but I am grateful for it regardless

i hate the remembrancer Petronella Vivar with a burning passion, she is the worst written character in the series period (so far?)

characters I would beat over the head with a steel pipe: Osma, Heldane, Erebus, Eidolon, Lucius, and Petronella. The other characters in this list I can still appreciate as villains. Petronella though... I could probably list some others too but those are the ones who came to mind right away

Other than Petronella idk what I would say regarding what I like the least as of now. I love the other remembrancers (minus the way Karsky was written in false gods, but again this is a McNeill issue), so its literally just her I can't stand. I blame McNeill for this though, with his glaring inability to write a compelling woman whatsoever

also orks are silly i like them

i hope this is satisfactory to you, anon!! please excuse any errors, i answered this first thing in the morning and got way too excited about it lmao. ty for the ask : D

[aribaran]

10 & 19 !

10. write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone? i'm always writing with noise, but it's music. i have some pretty intense playlists for my work, haha. i prefer to write alone whenever possible.

19. when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, etc.?

so i use scrivener for my project planning and it has a great feature where you can put all of your meta work into folders but it won't be included in the compiles. i usually do character profiles there if i need to, for the hockey books i have full rosters for every team, spreadsheets with all of the team names, etc.

for the rest of it, it's long, so.

it does depend on the book. i structure and write a fantasy novel a little differently from my romance novels (they are m/m hockey books. i know this comes as a huge surprise lol). i always use scrivener for my outlining and drafts, but you don’t have to buy a fancy program, you can do the same thing in open office or google docs.

no matter what the book is, i start with my characters. who are they as people? where are they from? what is their ethnicity and what are their families like? what do they like? how do they interact with others? sometimes guys just show up in my head fully formed and in those cases, it’s a lot easier to write their stories because they’re just…there. like real people. but the central question of every book is: what do these people want and why can’t they have it? sometimes those questions are internal (is this guy incredibly insecure and doesn’t truly believe that his best friend is in love with him even though all of the evidence is right there in front of his face?) and sometimes it is external (these guys are trying to kill each other, but they don’t realize the game is rigged against BOTH of them).

but start with that question and i think then it’s a lot easier to come up with the rest of the story.

after that, i pick a starting point and i usually pick an ending point. i almost always write my last scene first, or at least write some notes. i just like to know where i’m going so i can pace how i’m getting there.

how i ACTUALLY outline is where it really starts to split up based on book. for my hockey novels, it makes sense for me to outline and structure them in an actual timeline, since the plot is based around the season.

each folder is a season, split up into months, split up into scenes. i find it helpful to label whose POV is in which one so i know at a glance if things aren’t well-balanced. and then i just keep doing that until the book ends, which is usually between april and july, depending on if they make the playoffs.

what you end up filling it in with is varied. i usually like to figure out the conflict or breaking point, and where that goes in the general timeline. in my first book it’s an enemies to lovers so the conflict is front-loaded at the beginning, but something external happens to them towards the end that they have to overcome. so in that book, all of the scenes are building from them learning to get along, and falling in love, and then eventually overcoming this obstacle (this is really simplified discussion of this plot lol). in my second book, they’re best friends starting out, so it’s building up to them hooking up, then the process of them really falling in love, and then the misunderstanding/breakup and eventually the reunion and the [redacted really happy thing]. during this time there are obviously subplots, but i find it’s easier to string the subplots along when you have an idea of when the main big plot beats have to happen.

as i am filling in individual scenes, i like to jot a little note about what is going on in the scene in the header. so whether it’s brojobs or a hockey game in a particular city, i have that all in the little title. scrivener has a notes section for each “scene” where i can put any other details i want about the scene in there, and sometimes i will use that to a) put down what i want this scene to accomplish in the larger book, b) any dialogue or things i want to make sure i remember to include in the scene because a lot of the time, i get great ideas right when i’m falling asleep, or in the shower, or somewhere convenient and then i don’t remember if i don’t write them down. but you can also write this down in a separate document.

as for figuring out subplots, i come up with them based on what makes sense for the characters, whether that’s depression/addiction, helping out a rookie, or whatever.

for fantasy novels, the process is less rigid. i usually have to do some worldbuilding first, so that’s a separate document where i just jot down all of my thoughts about the world and how it’s constructed and why it works the way it does. sometimes i will write little “in world” texts to give myself a flavor of how people read or what their culture is like.

again, i come up with the beginning and end up split the book up into sections based on the main plot. so for example in one of my WIPs (and this is a VERY pared down version of what actually happens in this book haha), the first part is the road adventure where one of them is trying to take the other one back to [redacted] and the second guy is trying to escape or kill him, then they accidentally get soulbonded and the section is them learning to work together and trust, and then the third section is the betrayal and eventual rescue. then i fill in the scenes from there. i’ll be honest, some of it is based on vibes–what do i want to write? sometimes i get whole subplots purely because i think they sound like a blast to write (and that’s a bit thing about plotting for me–if it’s not fun and i’m not excited to write it…no one’s going to be excited to read it, either, so some big advice is if you’re really forcing something, it might be worth trying something else).

a lot of my plots come from knowing the characters really well. what situations would make them uncomfortable and react in certain ways? what situations would test or challenge their beliefs, either about the world or about themselves? what character can they fall in love with that would offer interesting conflicts?

so that’s basically my plotting and outlining process.

[thegeminisage]

17, 22, 23, and 35 for the fic writer ask game?

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

oh man i hate to get stuck on wording, but i don't really believe in writer's block!! i wrote a whole post about it here but the short version is that i believe when you are having trouble writing, summing up the general trouble as "writer's block" just makes the problem harder to solve. it's always down to something specific: do i not know where to go next? am i lacking joy in the craft? is there a big intimidating restructure in my future? (there is literally one of these on both my wips currently. kill me) so, to actually answer the question instead of being pedantic, step number one is ALWAYS to figure out EXACTLY why i'm not feeling it. when you figure out what the problem is it's a LOT easier to come up with solutions.

the other thing i do is manage my soundscape. this includes music - i have adhd, so the "right" music, preferably songs i can loop 1000000 times without getting tired of them, will make or break my productivity to a ridiculous degree - but it also includes ambient sounds. i really like this website because you can make your own mixes, and they have a whole section dedicated to fandom-based ones folks have made: inside the tardis, driving the impala, inside the jedi temple, whatever. (they have similar fandom-related atmospheres for video games on youtube. here's one of my favorites.) making one sometimes veers into productive procrastination, but when i'm having trouble getting started (often the hardest part) it usually does the trick. fellow insomniacs - they're also great for falling asleep, lol.

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

not really. i don't have the same problem with first-person, for example, that a lot of other people seem to, and i like an excuse to do a different style or whatever. even things i don't normally read for, like non-con, is something i have written about happening in the past (not onscreen) when the situation calls for it. i have only two hard limits: omegaverse and aus. you won't catch me dead doing either one. i think the first is self-explanatory, but as to the latter: i think so much of characters is who they are and their history. when you write an au from the ground up - like, a flowershop au or whatever, as opposed to an au that just veers away from canon at some point - you are taking and rewriting that entire history, and those characters become different people, and my investment almost instantly tanks to zero. i know those people, i don't care about them, and i don't want to write them. i don't even read aus unless it's from an author whose fic i absolute die over...right now, i could count those authors on one hand, lol. fusion aus are a bit of a gray area if i like both properties in question. i did once outline a titanic au for [redacted fandom] and also an anastasia au for bbc merlin*. but that's because i like both the movie anastasia and the characters from merlin. and even then, it's only a tumblr post to exorcise it from my brain - it's never something i'd turn into an actual fic.

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

YOU MUST HAVE FUN. you must you must you MUST have fun. do not do the thing if you do not love to do it. if you do not feel joy when creating then it will come through in the work, like a cranky cook burning their food. if you are writing only for comments: don't. if you are writing because you think you will let down friends/readers/etc otherwise: don't. "write for yourself" doesn't mean don't share work it means write because it makes you happier, or because you'll die if you don't. DON'T DO IT if it doesn't bring you joy!!!!!

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

two things. i'm cheating a little sorry. the first thing is pretty simple and common villain advice: remember that in your villain's pov they are the hero, or at the very least are justified. very few good, well-rounded villains are out here twirling their mustaches and being evil for the sake of evil.

the second thing is DO NOT make your protagonists less competent in order to make your villain seem more scary. this will backfire on you every fucking time. if you want your villain to seem smarter and stronger you cannot simply just make your protagonists dumber and weaker. otherwise they look like out-of-character idiots. consider the character of theo in teen wolf's fifth season...regardless of how you feel about the character, especially in other seasons, it's hard to argue his introductory arc was well-structured. in just a few short episodes, he managed to break years-long bonds between established characters...because the writers decided to make those characters mistrustful and misunderstanding of each other for no reason. instead of ANY of these characters using their brains or believing their good friends, they all acted exactly as theo predicted BECAUSE the writers wanted theo to seem smart and good at manipulating people. but it's definitely NOT how those guys would have acted if they were real people, and theo certainly didn't manage to trick us, the audience - so they just look like morons, instead. (this is why season 5 is the worst season by the way.) never do this. figure out what your characters would do first and THEN use your godlike powers to come up with a way to manipulate them. you're in charge of this thing after all!!!

[ASK MEME]

*i looked really, really hard for this, for over an HOUR, but i can't find it :( essentially arthur plays the anya, merlin the dmitri, morgana the grandmama, and gwen the vlad. it's not a unique concept bc i found other people spinning the idea in less detail on tumblr when i googled it, but i can't find MY DETAILED WRITEUP and i'm mad about it lol. if anyone writes one link me to it. if anyone finds it on my blog on god i'll write you a less than 1k merlin drabble of your choice. hold me to it.

[spectre-writes]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love 💞

Thank you! Um... now I actually have to think...

Low Profile

My first trigun fic (written while stampede was still airing) so I've got a lot of fondness for this one. Basically Vash getting himself into trouble sneaking off to help a town's plant and the gang coming to the rescue, which is a fun little premise, and Wolfwood being all angsty about it.

Sometimes it's not only glass

My second trigun fic lol, but I enjoy putting Vash through the wringer, and it also gave me a little more confidence writing from his pov. Just, you know, thinking about July and what particular triggers it could leave him with.

Gaining ground

Ah Overwatch... my biggest obsession for seven whole years. I'm still sad how the game's been treated (and not please with Blizz as a whole). But man does it have some interesting characters. And, look, I know Junkrat is always played as a joke in canon, but the guy grew up in a nuclear wasteland and has zero clue how to function in regular society. He's twenty-five, he never learned the morals we take for granted, he's dysfunctional, paranoid, obnoxious, he wants friends but has no idea how to make them, I want to study him like a bug?

So yeah I wrote about him joining Overwatch and D.Va and Lucio realizing he's around their age and inviting him to play video games? And him somehow having to navigate all of that and figure out what it is he wants?

It's my longest fic, and I have a bunch of side-fics for it too from other character's povs. Just... very fond of this fic/series as a whole, and I do want to finish it eventually.

No face but my own

Borderlands is such a comfort game series to me. I poured a lot into this fic, but sadly it never got much attention (which I think is probably largely to do with the fact it's a gen fic following a dlc character for an older game).

At the time, I was going through a bout of depression, and I hadn't written for a long time. Was feeling like maybe writing just wasn't something I had the ability to do anymore. But, I started writing this one as little snippets. Just a few unconnected paragraphs for scenes. And slowly it began to grow.

Timothy Lawrence is like... a mess. Like, such a mess. But that was what resonated with me, and honestly pouring out the sense of stagnation and listlessness and the lack of control over your own life, the bitterness and self-loathing, not wanting to die but not feeling like you're living either, losing touch with a craft that had used to be special to you...

Putting all of that to paper was cathartic. I mean, I never had full body plastic surgery, got disfigured by my boss and then trapped on a casino full of people trying to kill me for seven years, but it's more about the emotions? This fic was kinda personal so I'm sentimental over it.

A Different Number

I'll be real with you... Detroit: Become Human is not a good game. It's even a problematic game. But I'm an absolute sucker for androids?

RK900 doesn't really exist as a character (he gets a few seconds screen time in one route ending) but the general fandom interpretation of him is as this cool, big bad Conner who's meaner and more cold/logical than his predecessor. But I figured... let's make him a little ridiculous.

He wasn't around for the uprising, history has already happened and he's the most advanced model ever made but no one needs him, and every single human keeps mistaking him for Connor. He's got massive feelings of inadequacy comparing all he's done (nothing) to all the other androids have done, and the fact he's always in someone else's shadow, paired with a massive ego from being 'better' than them (which he clings to cos it's all he has that's noteworthy).

He's petty and immature and he carries a potted plant around with him to murder scenes because he can't let his coworker assassinate it but can't let him win by leaving it at home. It's just a really fun personality to write?

[frankensama]

Quick thoughts on Cyberpunk 2077: Phantom Liberty + 2.0 + New Ending (Spoilers included)

For the last few days I've been playing Phantom Liberty, slowly taking my time I get to know the new characters, delving deep into the game mechanics and just immersing myself in this new expansion and fucking hell, I swear to god, I have it really well cemented in my brain that in Night City it's kill or be killed, and they still got me by the throat with how the story concluded, and the airport mission - IYKYK - was a banger, on some peak kino banger shit.

Which speaking of, about the expansion itself, great acting - I at first Idris sounded a bit stiff, but I got used to how that integrated well with his character's roughness -, the spy thriller element alongside the writing are so top tier, it's genuinely insane how they manage to keep it very human in the sense of how everything and everyone is unpredictable regardless of personality or intentions, the new music is so fkn glorious, like Adamczyk and Jacek fkn killed it, the new 2.0 changes and updates literally turn the game more mechanically significant, as in you can now more finely tune your builds now that clothing doesn't have stats + the skill tree, it's honestly immense the amount of work that went into overhauling the main game + the expansion too, I had so much fun.

And the song credits too omg, it's all fun and games until the Polish man starts singing lol

Now the new ending, I don't really feel it's as bleak as people say it is, not as bleak as having your complex trapped in Arasaka's servers, but man, it still hits like a truck. V is no longer able-bodied the way she used to be, all of your friends have moved on, the most understandable being Panam who is distraught and angry, the most depressing being Vick, the most empathetic being Judy - I played fem V and dated her - and the most happy being Misty, I really love her new design which seems to be a mix of her and Jackie's style with the jacket, she looks so cool.

It's kinda like a second chance at life ending, now V can leave Night City, free of any shackles the way I see it, and pursue other stuff, I really like it. Also, "Think we can in our heart forgive each other ?", genuinely the most beautiful thing Johnny has said, it'll stay with me the most no doubt. It got me and my friend discussing how choosing to befriend Johnny throughout your playthrough really makes for the best interactions the game has to offer, and I really don't think I could ever be an asshole to Johnny, no matter how many playthroughs I do, I just love seeing him either happy, really sassy or genuinely mad and concerned when time calls for it.

A part of me does feel conflicted with my personal feelings and V's intentions cuz their dream was to be a legend in NC and having that stripped away must be soul crushing no doubt, especially when you lose almost everyone you loved in the way stuff isn't what it used to be, but me personally I'm just happy they get a second chance and just figure shit out on what to do next, but if there's an ending I definitely see as canon/"good ending" where both our POVs align, it's the one you part ways from NC with the Aldecados and go away with Judy and Panam to live your last days.

There really is no other dev like CDPR man, I love em

[dynamitedragon]

RvB Fanfic Ideas

Tuckington

Fake Dating

Werewolf AU (specifically teen wolf but that’s not too important)

BDSM PWP

Fuck Buddies

Catfishing

Jealous Tucker

Bodyguard

Grimmons

Temple of Procreation PWP

Romcom

Everybody Bets

Girlfriend

Churbex (Church/Caboose/Tex)

I kissed you and your girlfriend at a party

Quick Summaries under the cut!

Fake dating:

This is actually Texas-Hates-Taxes-Too’s idea who wrote that the Lieutenants keep trying to set Wash up on dates and eventually he just gets fed up enough that he just says he’s with Tucker to get them to back off. Then he asks Tucker to pretend for him just until they go to Iris. In my interpretation Tucker only agrees after Wash offers throwing knives lessons and the lieutenants keep trying to make good dates for them in apology. (Hopefully it’s ok for me to take this idea and run with it.)

Werewolf AU:

If you’ve seen Teen Wolf (the tv show) this is based kinda on that. Tucker is Stiles a human with a little something extra who runs with werewolves. Wash is a hunter who comes to investigate the nemeton (an old tree thats power has been regained and is calling supernatural creatures to the town). I guess for a werewolf au it’s a bit different cause neither of the two love interests are werewolves lol. This one would be a big one when I get to writing it, so I have a lot of thoughts on it if you wanna chat lol.

BDSM PWP:

I feel like this one is pretty self explanatory, but the little plot that there is is that Sometimes Tucker can’t take being in charge anymore, being the reason some people live or die? It can be too much sometimes and he just wants to go a little mindless; Wash can help with that.

Fuck Buddies:

Tucker realizes his attraction to Wash and wants to fuck but he doesn’t think he can do relationships and they actually agree on just a friends with benefits thing. However, Wash grows feelings and decides to end it to save himself from pain. For some reason this hurts Tucker more than he thinks it should and goes about figuring out if he can actually do relationship.

Catfishing:

Tucker and Wash meet online playing video games and for some reason Tucker thinks that Wash is a girl. They do a lot of flirting and decide to meet in person, but when they do Tucker realizes the truth. Once he knows this he says he just wants to stay friends, Wash is a bit disappointed but ok with it. But even as friends Tucker falls in love with Wash all over again.

Jealous Tucker:

Doc, Locus and Donut all fall for Wash at different points and Tucker doesn’t understand why the idea of Wash with any of them makes him want to rip his face off.

Bodyguard:

Tucker’s name gets added to a hit list and needs a bodyguard, enter agent Washington who some (not many) call the best in the business. Having a bodyguard wasn’t new for Tucker, as Church had been his for a while, but there hadn’t been any danger before now and Tucker has to adjust to this new hardass who won’t let him screw around. (Not sure if I want to make this full on mafia au or just Tucker heard something he shouldn’t and now his life is in danger kind of thing)

Grimmons

Temple of Procreation:

Aka what really happened in that closet. Literally just a PWP but maybe with an extra chapter of ‘hey should we talk about this since we almost died. Again!’

Romcom:

Grif may love romcoms but he doesn’t love when he’s accidentally pulled into one and his love interest appears to be Simmons. It’s not the fact that he has to have meet-cutes and flirt with Simmons but that it isn’t his Simmons. And he thinks the lovey-doveyness of it all may kill him if he can’t get back to reality.

Everybody Bets:

Everybody bets on how and when Grif and Simmons will finally get together and they’re all so invested in it that they keep setting up their own version of the bet. Told from each other characters’s pov. Haven’t decided how to end it (either they’re already together or it was one of cabooses wild stories that didn’t seem physically possible to work).

Girlfriend:

Simmons gets a girlfriends and Grif is kinda heartbroken because thought they were solid, not necessarily together, but surely they didn’t need anyone else. Now though if he hopes to get back to normal he may have to actually talk about his feelings, even if it kills him.

Churbex:

(Idk if this is the ship name for Church/Caboose/Tex but I like it and wanted to do at least one story with them)

I kissed you and your girlfriend at a party:

Basically that tweet where someone kisses a girl at a party and to make sure her boyfriend isn’t mad, kisses him too, but it’s Caboose kissing Church and Tex. Except in this case Caboose thinks he’s ruined their relationship and doesn’t know how to tell them, even though they’ve already accepted him into the polycule. Misunderstandings ensue.

[trackingthehuntress]

Who is James Cooper? A synopsis:

So I’ve been meaning to make a base post on this for a while, so here goes. Helena’s adopted child, forgotten by comics: James Cooper! Apologies if my image descriptions aren’t great (was planning on putting more panels when I said that, but that didn’t get in, sorry). WARNING - many spoilers ahead for Helena’s first solo. (please send an ask or a dm if you want content warnings for any of the listed issues.) 

Overall, this kid has it rough. However, through it all, he’s smart and caring. 

First appearance: The Huntress (1989) #9

[image description: a close up of a woman hugging a child. they are both dark skinned with black hair. the woman is wearing earrings. the child is wearing thick framed glasses.]

Because, see, we first meet James’ mom, Melinda. One reason I enjoy the first Huntress solo is that a good percentage of it is focused on civilian characters. This issue opens with Melinda narrating. She is a writer for a newspaper column, and the comic’s narration is the article she is working on, expressing how though her neighborhood is unsafe she feels a responsibility to stay. She expresses it better than I do, what can I say, I’m no writer. Anyways, she comes home to James being bothered by his little brother’s distractions. It’s cute.

Anyways, next we have James at his science fair. This year, his project is on “the issue of nuclear proliferation”. He explains how it would actually be pretty easy for anyone to build a nuclear bomb, given how much material would be easy to hijack. Once he explains this, someone pulls a gun on him and kidnaps him. Cut to someone telling Melinda her son was taken right from the science fair. 

Huntress (1989) #10

Here, we find out that James was kidnapped by a gang that wants people to know they mean business. They threaten and hit him in attempts to get him to agree to build the bomb, but he only starts to cooperate when they bring his family into it. Tragically, they kill his mom and little brother without telling him, because she had been putting up missing posters and organizing efforts to look for him. 

Huntress (1989) #11

The narration of this issue is that of a close friend of Melinda’s finishing her article. We see her funeral. However, no one knows where James is still, and he is almost done with the bomb. 

Huntress (1989) #12

Things have been awful for James. The gang is consistently violent towards him, and he is living in fear of their usage of his bomb. However, remember that Helena Troy post? That’s right, our favorite master of disguise has gotten a tip about what happened to him and is coming to rescue him! Back to James, though, they’re already telling him they’re keeping him alive so he can build a second bomb. yeah. So James is huddled with some members who are keeping him away from Helena, who has gotten ahold of the bomb, when she delivers her own ultimatum: “Let him out unharmed, or I detonate it and kill us all.” This doesn’t work, but her next threat does, so they send James out and he gets safely to Helena and her friend’s van. She’s tipped off the cops to the nuclear material still at that base, but knows the gang will probably get away. They drive off into the sunset.

And now that that’s resolved, we don’t see James again... for another four issues. 

Huntress (1989) #17

Now here, we get James’ pov. We open with him about to meet with a potential adoptive family, but he's a tad jaded and bitter about them, and his lot in life, feeling unfairly trapped and imprisoned while the gang that killed his mom and brother gets off scot free. He escapes the adoption center via climbing out of a window. He sees happy families and mourns his own. Walking on, he goes to their old apartment and recovers their belongings. Then, he hatches a plot... via robbing an atm (hadn’t noticed til now lol) to get the supplies, he figures that if he can hit enough of the places the drug dealers frequent, he can bring peace to his neighborhood. 

Huntress (1989) #18

“They took everything from me. That was their first mistake. Because now I've got nothing left to lose.”

So yeah, he’s in a bad place right now. Tl;dr, a guy named Rage has managed to unite New York’s gangs in search of this bomber. Batman and Huntress are hoping to find James first, though. They see him holding a small box, and pursue him to an underground... sewer system, maybe(?) where he reveals his home. He’s got a bed, pictures taped on the walls and pipes, and jars and boxes of various foodstuffs. He shows them that his package wasn’t a bomb, but a microscope his mom had given him for Christmas. Now, batman says it’s time to bring him to justice, but Huntress is defensive of James and not too keen on this idea.

Huntress (1989) #19

Huntress and Batman have a little debate over what to do with James, who you’d imagine would be going, “guys, I’m right here?”. However, they resolve this, by having Batman pose as the bomber to give the gangs a scapegoat. James’ last bomb goes off before he can defuse it, but Batman manages to keep himself and Rage from harm. Then, we cut to our epilogue, complete with Helena looking over at James and her landlord, thinking, “I guess family is where you find it”. But yes, it ends with Helena and James packing up to move out. This is the last issue of the Huntress (1989) series. 

But wait, there’s more!

Justice League International (1987) Special #2

Helena gets this special in the spotlight, and it’s used to be a sendoff to the above series. It is set three months after the above issue, and Helena Bertrand has set them up in their own little white picket fence house. It’s a cute opening, with one of James’ inventions, a woodcutter named the tin woodsman, knocks over helena as she’s chilling in a hammock. Basically, she’s trying to give him a good childhood. It’s unclear how they define their relationship, as they seem about 6-10 years apart. I think Helena might call him her son, don’t think James would be calling her Mom or anything, though. 

Back to plot - Helena’s got to come out of retirement to take care of a loose end, so she drops James off at the Justice League for them to babysit him, which is pretty hilarious. You can see how protective he is of her here - he dumps a  chemical solution he made on Blue Beetle, who was using the cameras on the suit they gave her to eavesdrop and spy on her confrontation, and uses the distraction to mess up the controls. Then, he gets to ride with Blue Beetle in the beetle to as he goes to give Helena backup. The issue ends with Helena concluding she needs to be on her own again, incinerating the Huntress costume, and moving her and James to a new apartment. Presumably they’ll be laying low for a bit. 

And then... gone forever. That was my attempt to sum up all of James Cooper’s comic appearances. I just think he shouldn’t have been forgotten after that, what do you think?

[twopoppies]

hi!! i looked in your fic rec MP and i didn't see it, so i thought I'd ask. i read In Vogue recently and LOVED it and then I've been binging project runway episodes (bc why not) and now I'm craving good fashion fics. maybe even a project runway one. have you read any good ones? and could you maybe rec some?

Hi sweetheart. Ohhh, I love that fic. And yes, I’ve got a few that have to do with fashion.

In Vogue by otpwhatever / @thecelineharry (M, 121K) This one is just….so much. The intensity of the characters, the crazy hot smut (oh god, the window scene), the FASHION, the angst (I had to take a walk around the block after reading it), the epic love story between two men who could rule the world if they could just figure their shit out. The fic has been deleted, but the link is to a download.

These Constant Stars by stylinsoncity (M, 31K) This author has written so many great fics and this one is really lovely. I also always like when one of the boys is not what he seems to be on first glance. There’s also a second part, told from Harry’s POV.

Three French Hems by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews (M, 20K) the characterizations and set up for this fic are sharp and funny, making this a really fun read. Plus there’s a lot of talk of Louis worshipping Harry’s thighs. LOL!

Fading by tothemoonmydear (M, 202K) Let me start by asking you to please read the tags on this one. It’s a very well-written fic, but it deals very graphically with Louis’ character’s eating disorder. At the time it was written some people felt it did not portray ED recovery accurately, so if the subject is at all triggering for you, please don’t read this one. Of that’s not an issue for you, make sure you have tissues ready because I ugly cried through almost all of this. I read it years ago and loved it at the time, but it’s not one I could handle reading twice.

sweet, where you lay by @infinitelymint (E, 27K) I read this ages ago and my notes only say that it was “sweet and sexy”, which is not terribly helpful. But this author is a good one, in general, so I feel safe including it here.

The rest of these were suggested by @cuethetommo who generally likes the same sort of fics I do. I either haven’t read these, or don’t remember enough about them to have an opinion! 😆 But I trust her.

Put It All On Me by LoadedGunn (M, 15K)

"Yeah, yeah, give it to me, that's it, spread your legs a bit, there you go."

The camera follows Louis as he does. Maybe if the modelling thing doesn't work out, he could try the porn industry. Then again, he's a bit too stocky to be twinky and a bit too twinky to be anything else. He likes that about himself, though. Well, directors and photographers like that about him. He could pull off pretty and edgy, could do GQ in the morning and a perfume commercial in the afternoon. Right now he thinks he could pull off anything, because it's Harry fucking Styles directing him.

Or, a Top Model AU where Louis is accidentally there to make friends, not become Britain's Next Top Model. (Also Zayn is the supermodel host.)

you pull me in by yoursongonmyheart (NR, 7K)

“Did you really wear silk jammies to meet him?” Fizzy is almost in tears.

He’s going to kill them.

He’s really going to kill them.

Ernie throws his backpack on the floor before telling Fizzy, quite loudly, “Mr. Styles looked at Achoo like this” and making an exaggerated jaw dropped face.

“That is not what happened!” Louis protests.

“And Achoo looked at Mr. Styles like that, too!” Doris pulls the same face before laughing.

------

//or the one where Louis is a model, Harry teaches Doris and Ernie at primary and now might be a good time to fall in love.

This Road Leads Where Your Heart Is by LittleLostPieces (E, 15K)

Alright, so Louis has a bit of a type is the thing. And as fit as his supermodel flatmate (Harry) may be, he isn't what Louis is looking for in a potential partner. That’s all. He’s not Louis’ type, with his miles of lanky limbs and his bright, boyish eyes. His impossibly tight, little body and infectious laughter are not what Louis wants. They're not. Really.

swimming in a champagne sea by delsicle (E, 17K)

Louis is a supermodel. Harry is a celebrity photographer known for capturing the brightest up and comers in their most candid moments. They meet at London’s most exclusive New Year’s Eve party.

An alpha/alpha fic filled with confusion, banter, Ubers, and glitter

Life at Shutter Speed by zarah5 (E, 20K)

AU. Having landed a job modelling for an outdoor clothing catalogue, Harry certainly wouldn’t mind doing some extracurricular work for photographer Louis Tomlinson. Say, a private photo session? Yes, please? Good thing that Harry has ten days and three beautiful locations -- Morocco, Indonesia and the Swiss Alps -- to make Louis see just how good they could be.

Special Topping by LoadedGunn (E, 20K)

'Who would even want so many pizzas so late at night?' Harry wonders before the door opens.

Oh. Apparently short guys with shaggy brown hair and a scruff and bright blue eyes and heart-stopping smiles. That's who.

Harry's not even ashamed of how he nearly drops all the pizzas. This guy is gorgeous and Harry hasn't noticed anyone like that in ages, let alone provided services to them. If he opened his mouth right now the only thing that would come out is, "By special topping did you mean my dick?"

Or, the AU where Harry delivers pizza and Louis really just wants Tim Gunn to spank him.

everywhere (i want to be with you) by itiswhatisbutterfly (E, 42K)

Harry and Louis meet because they have terrible friends, they fall in love because something feels right in a world of uncertainty and shifting grounds. Louis is an actor and Harry is a model at the top of his game, the best things in life are the most unexpected ones and the things that hit you when you are least expecting it.

Featuring winter in London, nights in Paris, early mornings in New York, burning heat in Monte Carlo and an enduring love spent transcending four corners of the globe.

Young Gods by sincewewereeighteen (E, 77K)

“Why don’t you stay?” Harry looked down at him and snorted. “What?”

“You’re not my type, Louis”, the boy rolled his eyes sitting on the edge of the bed to put on his boots.

“Says the man you just had sex with”, Louis pointed feeling smart, but Harry was one step ahead of him, with the answer on the tip of his tongue.

“You see, if you were my type, I wouldn’t have”, Harry winked, cheeky as hell. “I would’ve gotten to know you first.”

“Bullshit”, he accused the boy not letting it show how intrigued he was. “How can you know I’m not your type if you don’t know me?”

“How about I list five things about you to prove I’m right and if any of them are false I’ll lie down again.”

“Ok. Go.”

[Or: the one in which Louis is a model and Harry's supposed to be a normal guy... Until he isn't.]

[dykeseinfeld]

u asked someone to remind you to post about your pjo dual protagonist thalia/bianca au and i am SO intrigued by this idea please say more

anon asked: hey queen hope your homework went good yesterday 🌸…now what were you saying about thalia and bianca 😳 ?

ok y’all i’m here...the moment almost none of y’all have been waiting for....bianca/thalia protagonists with alternating pov’s au

warning it’s kind of super long and may or may not read like a 2nd grader’s semi-coherent game of pretend so under the cut it goes!

so the main things you need to know about this au are 1. thalia survives and 2. annabeth’s + luke’s ages are a lil diff bc canon is my sandbox 3. i can’t decide if percy exists in this au or not (maybe y’all can help me decide?)

so the first book:

would start a few months after grover brought thalia (12), luke (13), and annabeth (10, not 7)  to camp half blood. they were chased by monsters sent by hades on the way, and thalia almost didn’t survive, but ultimately she got lucky and managed to send a bolt of lightning through her spear for the first time and they made it into camp

it’s been some time so annabeth is happy as a clam in the athena cabin doing her 10-year-old-with-severe-mommy-issues thing and luke is actually pretty popular with the hermes cabin bc he actually Met Their Dad Holy Shit and also he’s getting pretty good with a sword

at the same time, thalia is alone in the zeus cabin. everyone has been freaking out bc they all saw the huge bolt of lightning that incinerated a couple hellhounds as they made their grand entrance and What The Fuck Child Of The Big Three???

she’s also further isolated because chiron will take her for private training sessions sometimes, since she is clearly really powerful already and also Hades Himself was trying to kill her (chiron told her the reason was the big three’s pledge not to have kids, and maybe about the great prophecy? if he tells her that then she’s sworn to secrecy)

once grover leaves on another protector assignment, thalia mostly hangs out with luke, and annabeth. luke + annabeth both will try to eat meals with her at the zeus table but annabeth doesn’t want to get in trouble and luke is genuinely making friends in the hermes cabin so thalia will feel bad sometimes and send him back

kronos, seeing this bitter isolated child of the big three’s dreams: it’s free real estate

MEANWHILE

hades is Pissed that thalia survived and zeus got to break their oath And get the glory of a prophecy child

so he sends someone to take bianca (12) and nico (10) out of the lotus hotel and casino a little early.

grover is still their protector, but since the Stirring hasn’t begun in earnest yet and hades is lowkey determined to keep them safe, they make it back to camp half blood with no escort/incident

bianca + nico are put into the hermes cabin, and luke kinda takes them under his wing bc while he’s not bitter he still needs therapy bc this 14 year old has never met a pre-teen he couldn’t try to parent

luke introduces nico and annabeth since they’re the same age and they become really good friends!! she Loves mythomagic and he thinks her dagger is super cool and they’re both just really excited about camp <3

bianca is more reserved and resistant to the whole thing, and she wanders around alone exploring and runs into thalia in the zeus cabin

at this first meeting they get into a bit of a fight bc bianca is still in shock/denial about the gods being real, but thalia at this point has zero patience for this

anyway after that and maybe another scuffle during capture the flag or something they hit it off and become best friends in the way girls can, especially bonding over how they’ve both had to take on raising annabeth and nico basically on their own at the age of 12

~QUEST TIME~

thalia is given a quest for [unspecific reason] and chooses bianca and luke, they go off leaving annabeth and nico frustrated at home

quest hijinks etc, bianca is trying to figure out her parentage + her weird mysterious powers? and thalia is arguing with luke because he’s settling into camp/hero life really well actually but she’s getting progressively angrier with the gods for trying to kill her and also keeps getting dreams from kronos and doesn’t get why he doesn’t seem to remember all of the shit that the gods have put him through

bianca + thalia have las-vegas-style-heart-to-hearts where thalia shares her tragic backstory about her mother and her brother and how hades tried to kill her and even about the great prophecy and how she’s trying on this quest bc of that and her dad but at the same time these dreams are making her suspicious that he might’ve been responsible for her mom’s death.

bianca then shares her own stuff, about how terrified she was being on her own with nico having to protect him but also not remembering most of her childhood and not remembering her parents or how she ended up in the care of this lawyer and just the absolute mindfuckery that her memories/past are

luke is asleep in those scenes i guess lol 🧍‍♂️

anyway eventually they finish their quest in this massive climactic battle where bianca discovers her powers in a huge-showy-”i’m the ghost prince”-way and is formally claimed by hades which thalia sees as this Massive Betrayal obviously and bianca is horrified too because she knows what hades did to thalia but at the same time she’s just so happy to finally understand at least part of her past

thalia just reaches a breaking point though because everyone around her just doesn’t understand her anger and just when she thought she had found another sympathetic person who understood what she was going through she joins hades??? no. no fucking way. kronos reveals that he’s the one who has been sending her dreams, prob by sending some messenger who he possesses or smthing and when he offers thalia the chance to join him? she does (dun dun dun)

main beats of the rest of the series:

thalia and bianca on opposite sides of the war training to be the prophecy child, they come together a Lot and have like melodramatic fight scenes where they talk out their anger and try to get the other to join them bc they don’t want to kill each other

luke is extremely conflicted/betrayed and there’s a titan’s curse moment prob towards the end of the third book where they’re fighting and thalia is trying to get her to go with him but here he actually does go to join her (gasp!!) and is evil for at least one book but his heart’s not in it and he goes back to the good side eventually

by the point of luke’s betrayal, annabeth and nico are growing and developing and old enough to go on quests w bianca and by the last book they’re a main trio of sorts and their hypothetical character development is already making me emotional

there’s just a lot of general sexiness with foils and inner conflicts and bianca doesn’t even want to be the prophecy child but she needs to for the fate of the world and bianca is so angry at thalia bc thalia is a daughter of zeus and could control her powers and is perfect and just meant to be the prophecy kid, not some daughter of hades who they didn’t even have a cabin for before

hm maybe by either the last or second-to-last book thalia + bianca are close to reconciling or at least their interests are aligned for the moment and they read the text of the prophecy together and things go Wild bc they both think “single choice shall end his days” either is about luke or nico and it turns up the gas to their fighting both of them care about both of them and yeah

and then i can’t decide if there’s romantic arcs at all but if there were it would go like this:

just a dash of thaluke where at first it was luke having a one-sided crush but thalia misses him a Lot after she goes to kronos and wonders if it’s that she misses him or if it’s something More until to get him to defect there’s like a melodramatic moment in the fight where thalia kisses him and they go off to be Evil Together but it ends bc luke doesn’t believe in the cause and only joined her in hopes of getting thalia back to his side

once luke leaves/is kicked out thalia realizes that she didn’t love luke she just wanted a family and also in the second half of the series she realizes she’s a lesbian as a parallel to her redemption arc

bianca meanwhile is unconcerned w romance until she has her botl-hoe-moment where within one book she 1. runs into the hunters on a quest and has a thing with zoe nightshade who tries to get her to join plus tells her about that time she met thalia, 2. she goes to calypso’s island and falls in love w her in the moonlight or w/e and has her what-if moment, and 3. when they meet up that book thalia somehow knew abt zoe + calypso and seems almost angrier abt them  than the war?? weird bc bianca knows that thalia is Totally Straight right??

my main point is that bianca/thalia is our friends-to-enemies-to-lovers endgame thank you i will take my pulitzer now

[vidalinav]

Burning Questions I Still Have:

You know SJM really hasn’t given us too much substance in these book talks so I’m just going to put down these questions as my own way of expanding the topic of the book beyond Eris, Azriel, and the copious amount of sex they’re going to have (Nesta and Cassian) though all of that is very exciting. 

1. How much does Mor factor into this story? Are we going to see her at all or would she be more focused in on an Azriel story if we get one? 

2. Does Elain have any say in sending Nesta away? Will she have some involvement in Nesta’s healing? Will we see her in Illyria, visiting her sister perhaps, or will it be short instances? 

3. Does Nesta make new friends? Assumedly she does, but right now it’s looking very established character centric, but you know with these lack of spoilers. (rolls eyes)

4. Will the witch concept brought up in ACOWAR come up in ACOSF? Is Nesta technically a witch? Because her power extends beyond her natural reserve “technically.” Will we see other witches? Witches vs Illyrians... Maybe?

5. What is the main conflict in Illyria? And how will it be resolved? So far we know it has something to do with rebellion, but how do you fix that realistically? 

6. How will the women in Illyria gain some autonomy, because lets be honest, everyone learning to fight is and is not going to fix everything? 

7. Where is Bryaxis? 

8. Eris has a deal with Rhysand to help him kill his father. How would that work? Does it involve Nesta, does this then involve her more in the Inner Circle’s antics in which she’ll gain a job in some way? Whether she wants to or not. 

9. How does Nesta suffer? We know emotionally, yes. Power, yes. But how does that come about when there’s so much potential conflict in this book. 

10. What is the main conflict of this story? There seems to be many, that I’m sure will be extended to the other books that come out, but to what to extent does this book extend to the others. Will we see all of the same characters in the books after this one? 

11. Eris’s mom and Helion; Helion and Lucien. Enough said. 

12. Nesta dealing with her father’s death. 

13. Cassian’s mom, who is supposedly dead. (Jury is still out on that one; no dead body, no dead)

14. What’s that shadowy evil substance that Mor discovers by her estate?

15. Will Mor get a story? Especially since if she does then she’d be the first LGBTQ character from the SJM universe to have their own book... I think. Don’t quote me on that. But she’s got a lot to deal with too and I think she deserves a book. She’s a very interesting character. She reminds me of a mixture between Aelin and Bryce and the more secretive aspects of Nesta. 

16. Will Elain ever get a mate or significant other? Honestly, I’m on the fence with this. Mostly because one, Elain is purely side-character to me. She’s interesting, but not enough right now to warrant a whole book. I also just think that right now she’s kind of useless, and I don’t mean that to be mean, I just mean that she doesn’t have a purpose yet and most of her personality right now is purely fodder. It’s her main personality I say. Maybe not the honest to god deep one, but she’s got at least the surface level personality with hints of iceberg feelings. 

Interestingly enough it makes more sense I think to have the next book centered on Lucien and Azriel if they’re going to settle that conflict. Even though I hate love triangles in any sense, but none of them love each other right now anyways... And I think that it would be hard to figure out these three relationships when they’re already linked together in ACOWAR and ACOFAS. 

17. Will we ever know why Amren and Nesta got into a fight? Will their relationship be fixed? Also where she at in this whole conflict of interest that is this book and Nesta being sent away? Will we see her often? 

18. Will Rhysand have a good amount of time in this book? What is his involvement with Nesta--his sister-in-law lol? Will their relationship reach some level of understanding? Will they hate each other for ever? Will they have some semblance of mutual respect and a common denominator that is the love for Feyre and their protectiveness for their family? 

19. What are Cassian’s conflicts? To be quite honest, I feel this book is very Nesta centric, and I do hope that Cassian is not just thrown in there for romance and that’s it. BUT we know the Illyrian conflict, the Mor/Azriel conflict, the issue with being born a bastard, not belonging with his people. The Nesta conflict, the war probably. But like besides Nesta, all of these conflicts have existed for as long as he’s lived. So is that really a conflict or an issue to be dealt with... A lot of this will be resolved through the “Powers of Love” lol and whatever else they can do in Illyria, but then what else? Internally, I don’t feel he has too much to deal with because well... a lot of his problems center around other people. 

20. What will Feyre being doing? Let me be honest, I don’t like the thought of Feyre being pregnant. I understand her body her choice, but this girl literally went from let’s spend time with each other to let’s have a baby, because maybe it won’t happen in a few hundred years. But let’s be honest, if I was her I would not be thinking that it would happen in a few hundred years. Things happen in the most inconvenient times, and right now with all this, it’s very inconvenient. I also think I really don’t like it because right now she is really playing into that role of a wife and not as everything we know her as. I mean she’s allowed to relax, to be loved and what not, but I don’t know. Lame, I think, that she became high lady in name, but probably not in any sort of empowerment way, and I think that’s sad because she could do an awful lot of good, and should do it, because right now her court has soooooo many issues, even issues that Rhys kind of just puts in the back burner and hopes for the best. She is the equal to Rhys, but so far she’s not seeming so equal and she also seems to have lost some purpose. So I’m also wondering if this want of a child and planning for it is Feyre’s way of being useful again... because she spent so much of her life taking care of other people. Which again..... ehhhhhh. 

21. What the f*** are Nesta’s powers? What do they do? I hope it does not end in some vague inclination like Mor’s truth power whatever. But like, she should be all powerful, death god status. I want to see Nesta as the goddess she is. 

22. Koschei??? The stealer of the hero’s wife or whatever as he’s referenced in Russian lore... I think? Is he going to be more involved in Vassa, or Elain even (because Elain right now has always been the damsel) or Nesta, because of the queens and “their powerful ally.” Wouldn’t he be the best teacher for Nesta’s power really, when he’s a powerful sorcerer in the book/death god that has worshippers and what not and collects women.   

>>> My theory is that if Elain and Lucien are the next pov’s then maybe Nesta will be kidnapped by Koschei at the end, and Elain gets to really show what she’ll do for her family, and what she’s made of. But it also keeps the story going without cutting it off completely, and we keep the bigger conflict which is that there’s a whole world of problems and rulers and that Nesta’s story can’t really end at this book, because again she’s suppose to be all-powerful, cauldron incarnate, the wind has heard of her, spreading the news around, and that she does need to learn her powers and I doubt anyone can really teach her, but she for sure probably can’t teach her self. 

23. Will the love triangle situation not be between Elain, Lucien, and Azriel, but Vassa, Elain, and Lucien, or maybe a love square like A Midsummer Night’s Dream? That would be kinda cool. I just don’t really know if Azriel will be a love interest for Elain, even if he has that fondness for her. Azriel has a lot of problems, but he’s also like... I don’t know. Off topic. 

24. The Queens--what the hell? What about that one who turned old and is now immortal? They were chilling in Vassa’s kingdom. Where are they so Nesta can beat their asses? Also, these human kingdoms--what? What are they doing now that their queens are just in hiding and that allied with Hybern to be fae? Do they know? 

25. Magical humans--fae blood sometimes trickle into human lines from that one fae whoever she is. Doubt she’s the only one. Probably will have magical humans, realistically. 

26. Vassa--all of Vassa. Maybe Vassa and Mor.... You never know. I doubt they’ll get that curse reversed and she’ll be completely human, so maybe she’ll a be a shifter of a sort. If I can remember she’s like the only successful experiment. So maybe she got some fae blood and she can live for a long time and can be with Mor. I certainly hope Mor does not give up her immortality for her love interest, which I’m assuming you can do like in TOG. 

27. The fae kingdoms, that conflict needs be somewhat resolved. Doubtful. There’s three main ones I think. No one’s been signing treaties. How? That is all. 

28. Azriel powers, shadows, how did that happen? Does it elude to something bigger. 

29. Cassian’s background. Who the hell is he? Will we know papa? Mama? Past? He’s the most powerful Illyrian commander, he can’t be normal. The laws of fiction dictate otherwise. 

30. Last names? Middle names? Titles. Give me everything Sara. 

31. Eris. After daddy is dead, what next? Is his conflict so small and easily taken care of. He is very interesting to me. 

32. Did they actually take care of the cauldron? Miriam and Draken, will we see them again and their ideal world? 

33. Will Nesta travel? Because she should. She deserves to, it was her plan in ACOTAR, but then she stayed, and now she’s a shell. Please have Nesta see the world. With Cassian or without. Don’t care. Maybe both. 

34. How is a treaty going to be established, when humans hate fae, fae enslave humans, and the fact that there is so much more than fae that exist as we know????? Hmmm???

35. Oh Tamlin! Where he at? What he been doing? How will he help this conflict? Assuming he’s probably going to factor more in Lucien’s story, I’m almost positive he’s the next POV. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise to my fanfic writer/ obsessive reader brain.  

36. The objective of different worlds. I know SJM probably won’t get into it too much and it would probably be very complicated, but other worlds. Are people still coming in? Do some want to leave? Is it easy to travel between them--provided you know how? *whispers* can Nesta do this?

37..... I don’t know. I will add more if I can think of any, because I probably can. Honestly this was like therapy and made me feel so much better than any of SJM’s lives about the future of this series.

38. ADD YOUR OWN; unless I wrote almost everything. But doubtful!