#if mom doesn't break this silence directly it will never be broken

[slverblood]

Aylin is honestly grappling with a lot of anger toward her mother after being freed. She can't help but wonder why Selûne didn't step in to protect her or [as far as we know] make any attempt to free her or reach out to her directly once she was freed or [if you don't sell her out to Lorroakan] step in to prevent her from being caged a second time. It's an anger she's wrestling with. She doesn't entirely want to feel it. She doesn't really want to doubt her mother's love. She wants to go back to the way it was a century ago, when she was certain of their relationship and of her place in the universe. But, she can't go back, and she is at the beginning of grappling with that.

She clings to her wings, to her arms and armaments, to her powers as proof of her mother's favor. But, even her mother's favor is . . . It feels wrong to think it is not enough, but it isn't. She is not a priestess or a devotee or a Chosen or any other mundane faithful. She is Selûne's daughter. She begins to question just what that means to Her. Is she only a sword to Her? Is she only a tool to be used and discarded, nothing more? Does She care at all for Aylin or what she has suffered?

Although she eagerly reconnects with Selûnite communities, there is a good while after she is freed where she can't engage with Selûnite worship. She cannot bring herself to pray or make offerings or visit shrines / temples or observe any rites / rituals. She thinks about it, especially when Isobel does so and invites her to join. She begins to practice her faith but quickly aborts the act. Perhaps pantomimes obeisance but does not put her heart into it, like mouthing the words of a hymn without singing them. She strongly wants her mother to reach out first — to speak to her, to visit her dreams, to do something either than look down on in her silence! Signs are not enough! Visions are not enough! She needs something concrete and indisputable! It is hubris for the faithful to demand so much from a goddess, but dammit she is Her daughter. Shouldn't that mean something?

She thought it did.

Now she isn't sure.

[backseatloversz]

some angst 4 u. cw deals w/ todd's grief almost directly post canon + shitty parents/a rough family dynamic, so i wouldnt blame u for skipping out on this one. anyway. tags<3 @aedan-mills @infinite-moths @sapphicnoel @weltonsworst my beloveds take care of urselves

god. the idea that as todd's going through all this heavy grief, his parents just ... don't know what to do with him. that's supposed to be someones biggest support system, right? your parents. they should be the first to notice when you're upset, they should always know how to make you feel better. but for him, they just ... don't. they leave him to his devices when he comes home for winter break and maybe they tell themselves, he'll come to us if he needs anything. but after seventeen years of not telling him that, of course, he never does. his mom gives him sad looks across the dinner table when he hadn't left his room all day and his dad makes some snide remark about how he only knew the boy a couple months, what's taking you so long to get over him? / he was my friend. todd snaps, voice rough. it's been two weeks and he was my friend. the words are heavy and everyone's torn between staring at their plates and each other. there's so much more he wants to scream, but he knows it'll fall on deaf ears. he's just so fucking tired, he can't bring himself to say anything else.

the rest of dinner, and the rest of winter break, really, is quiet. todd spends a lot of time in his room. he always has, but it's different now. lonelier. and when he's not there, he's in jeffrey's room. on his bed, his floor, his desk chair. staring at the ceiling or wall or out the window, its only four pm but it's dark, everything feels dark lately. jeff doesn't really know what to do with him, either. he's only eighteen himself, but at least he tries. todd appreciates that at least he tries.

i loved him. todd cuts the long silence with one day. what? jeff says absently, looking up from his book. neil. i loved him.

it came out easier the first time. but once the words sunk in, he felt them in his mouth for the second time ever, the admission is broken. he pulls his knees to his chest, buries his face. i don't think he loved me back. it's muffled. he hopes jeff didn't hear it. maybe then, it wouldn't be real.

and jeff doesn't really know what to do with it. todd looks up, after a minute, presses the side of his face to his knee. it's fine. you don't have to say anything. (it's not. say something. say something. please.) i just - he chokes on a sob, wraps his arms around himself tighter. just had to say it.

he hides his face again and jeff's at his side in an instant, pulling him into an awkward, fierce hug. todd melts into it, arms still tense around himself, and lets his chest be wracked with sobs.

they don't talk about it. and maybe they won't, not for months, or years, or maybe not ever. which hurts and hurts and hurts because todd knows this, even when jeff's arms are around him and he clearly cares, they won't talk about it. their family has never been good at that sort of thing. it makes him sob and he feels choked, strangled by the silence. but todd appreciates that at least jeff tries. at least jeff is there

[linkspooky]

To be fair, Deku saw his friend's brother trying to kill him, so it's only natural that he doesn't care about Dabi's situation /trauma. Something like "at least Endeavor isn't trying to kill my friend"

Okay, this is an OPINION. Please read it as an opinion. 

To be fair, anon.  I don’t think anybody is criticizing Deku for trying to save his friend. Obviously, at the moment Deku’s first response would be to stop Dabi from trying to kill Shoto because he knows Shoto personally and cares about him. 

This is just my reading and interaction with fandom, but the two 2 complaints with Deku’s remark seem to be this. 

1) It’s incredibly tone-deaf. In the same vein as Best Jeanist’s argument. Best Jeanist is arguing that Dabi shouldn’t go public with his accusations because faith in heroes is already wavering. Deku is arguing that Enji is doing better right now, so he Dabi shouldn’t bring up the past again. Both of them are essentially trying to silence Dabi without even addressing what his actual argument is. Yes, Dabi is a villain who murders people but let’s imagine this is a normal situation. Let’s say that Endeavor was a film producer who had used his money and position in society to beat up a woman. That woman came clean about how the film producer was beating her. You’d want to see them at least fired, right? Dabi isn’t saying that Endeavor’s abuse of him gives him liscense to kill whoever he wants, he’s saying that Endeavor shouldn’t be held up as a hero after what he did, and the society that tries to silence his abuse is also complicit in that same abuse. 

The reason to make that case of abuse a matter of public opinion, in that case, is to PREVENT that person from using their money and power to both commit and get away with abuse. Dabi’s argument isn’t that Endeavor abused him so he should get to murder people. That’s not even close to what Dabi’s arguing. Dabi is arguing that Endeavor should not have a position and status in society as a hero considering that he’s used his wealth and connections in the past to abuse his own family. It doesn’t really matter if Endeavor is acting better now. You don’t re-elect a politician who was arrested for taking bribes. Endeavor’s current position as the number one hero requires the silence of all of his victims. 

What Dabi is saying is that the current hero system protects it’s own. If Endeavor is number one, if he has all of that power, then he should be held to a standard above others. But he’s not. The primary interest of the hero system as it is currently is keeping heros in power and in the dominant force in society. Do you know why we know this? It’s literally what Best Jeanist says. We can’t afford to hear this expose on endeavor right now because society is doubting heroes already. Hero society will put protecting heroes high in priority than even protecting the families, or victims of said heroes. 

Dabi’s not actually just talking about his personal case, he’s making a systemic argument. The argument he brings up is, if heroes are given so much power in society then shouldn’t they have an equal amount of regulation? Shouldn’t there be someone holding them responsible for all the power they wield? If there was someone holding them responsible, then what happened to Dabi never would have even happened. Enji intentionally manipulated the system in his own favor, to get his way. He didn’t get away with it because he was a good hero, he got away with it because he used money and power to hush it up. It’s a systemic argument and Deku responds with a personal one. 

Deku responds with: Well, he was a good mentor to me. 

Yes, that’s your personal experience with him. However, that’s not really even on topic to what Dabi is saying. Dabi is saying people who use the system in an abusive way shouldn’t even be allowed to be heroes. 

To be fair again, I don’t think Deku is making this from an angle of “I think Dabi should just shut up about his abuse for the good of society.” I think when it comes to Deku’s characterization he doesn’t have the lived experience of that kind of abuse. If Deku is fifteen and therefore a kid, it makes sense he would only judge the world from his point of view. If his experiences of Endeavor are mostly positive ones it makes sense he wouldn’t really comprehend the bulk of what both Shoto and Dabi have been through. 

2) Deku is a fictional character. Deku only acts as a realistic teenager as far as the author wants him to. I mean if you want to extend the argument of realism farther, then you could say it’s not realistic that a fifteen-year-old would be willing to break the bones in his body, or that it’s not realistic he’s not losing his mind from the pain of having all his limbs broken.  I mean, what do fifteen-year-olds do these days sit around all day vaping? Skateboarding? Anyway, realism only extends so far. Basically, as much as Deku is his own character, he’s also a mouthpiece for the author. He’s written by someone, to say things. Therefore, the things he says have meaning. 

Deku’s point of view might be mistaken. We might see him called out in later chapters. However, it’s odd to see the main character say something like “Enji is trying to be better, and you’re not” because it sounds like the author is trying to use Deku to tell us to sympathize with Enji over Dabi. I’m not even going to call it bad writing, it’s just tone-deaf. It just muddies things. We’re constantly told Deku is a  character who will try to save anyone. A character with an extraordinary drive to save people against all logic. 

We’ve seen in the past Deku to be completely unforgiving to abusers. He’s been also shown to have an extreme reaction to abuse. This is how he reacts to the idea of what Chisaki was doing to Eri. Using a child to experiment on her quirk again and again. That’s... a pretty strong parallel to what Enji did to his entire family. Enji’s actions even directly resulted in the death, either by suicide or training accident of his child Toya.

So it’s not just like “of course Deku would want to save his friend from his murderous older brother”, beyond that it’s just written in a way that muddles Deku’s character motivation. Like just for example, does Deku consider Dabi worthy of the second chance he’s willing to offer Enji? What’s different in that case? What is forgivable and not forgivable? And before any of you say Enji shows a desire to improve himself while Dabi wallows in his own guilt, Dabi’s been like... legally dead and probably homeless for about ten years while Endeavor was rich and secure in his position in society. They’re not... they’re not at the same starting line. Either way, it’s weird, Deku would sympathize with Endeavor and cut off all sympathy for Dabi, considering he at least has taken a strong stance against abuse before. There’s either an in-character reason behind why he’s doing this, which means it’s written as an intentional character flaw or the framing is sloppy. 

(Framing being, using characters and their reactions to events in the story as a guide to show how we’re supposed to react to an event in the story. For example if a character does a bad, often their friends will call them out or say ‘you did a bad thing’ to make it clear we’re not supposed to sympathize with that character at the moment. A story is a painting, and the frame around it draws attention to certain aspects. The frame emphasizes.).

Dabi even says it’s weird not to pity him. Dabi is the direct action of Endeavor’s abuse. Isn’t it sad, that this little kid who just wanted to be a hero was burned alive at some point? 

Just to talk about how it’s written in this case, I think Jujutsu Kaisen does a better job of showing the main character thinking t’s not okay to just lash out at random people and trying to stop them from that behavior, while at the same time recognizing the person they’re dealing with is in pain and that pain deserves to be recognized. 

Junpei is a bullied kid. He starts using his powers to get back at his bullies, and also harm innocent people along the way. Yuji’s first reaction is to try to stop him. 

However, in trying to learn his reasoning behind attacking both the people at his school and also his bullies, Yuji recognizes an important fact: Yuta is in pain because his mother just died yesterday. Yuji and Junpei were both fighting each other before this moment, and yes Yuji doesn’t have to listen to or understand Junpei’s reason why, but Yuji like Deku is characterized as somebody who saves people against all logic. In that moment after it becomes clear that Yuji isn’t just doing this for no good reason, but lashing out in pain, Yuji’s priorities shift. His first priority was to stop the lashing out, now his second one is to offer him a way out. He shows him that there’s a way to deal with his problems besides lashing out. 

There are people willing to listen to you, there are people who can help you. Yuji doesn’t fix Junpei’s problem for him, he just shows him that there’s another way. He acknowledges that Junpei is right to want justice for whoever killed his mom, but the way he’s going about it is wrong, and he can find a better way with them together. Junpei acted this way in the first place, because he believed he couldn’t trust anybody else. He lashed out because he was dealing with the feelings of having lost his only mother literally twelve hours ago all by himself, and trying to pursue justice for her alone too. 

Yuji’s response also tells Junpei he has to stop randomly lashing out at whoever he thought killed his mom, and whoever hurt him. However, he doesn’t tell Junpei that he’s wrong for feeling hurt. He doesn’t dismiss any of Junpei’s problems.

Junpei’s pain is recognized by Yuji, and he’s treated as a person and offered a way out. 

Dabi is instead shut down continually by basically every hero around him, Deku, and Best Jeanist as well. He’s not offered as a way out, everyone’s response is just to try to put him down. 

Yuji actually seriously thinks about how Junpei is feeling and makes a decision on how he should handle him based on those internal feelings. Yuji changes his mind a little bit midway through the fight. We don’t really see the internal reasons for why Deku thinks it’s okay to give Enji a second chance, but not extend the same chance to Dabi. To be clear I think the character of Deku is just fine, however, I would also like the story to dig deeper into his motivations. I would like to see WHY he thinks the things he does or acts the way he does. We see Yuji constantly thinking about the things Deku doesn’t think about, and my response isn’t to hate Deku. I just think Deku would be a better character if we got into his head more. 

[richiefuckfacetozier]

- Hey Eddie, these are your birth control pills? - Yeah, and I'm saving it for your sister! ~ Richie has a younger sister (he's like 1 or 2 years older) ~ Her name is Jane (yas stranger things) ~ She has a MAJOR crush on Eddie (i mean, can u blame her?) ~ Eddie treats her really nicely (because Eddie) ~ Richie is lowkey jealous ~ Jane doesn't know about Reddie's relationship It's only a suggestion for when the boys get back from Vancouver

I decided to write this as a one-shot BECAUSE IT DESERVES IT’S OWN STORY! And on my main fic, I follow basic IT BOOK/IT 1990/IT 2017 canons with families and character personalities. Loveeee the suggestion. Sorry, it took so long, I am the slowest of writers because I edit soooo much. Other suggestions are coming I promise, I just need to get myself together! Also, located on archive of our own.

Special Secret

Richie opened a cabinet in Eddie’s house. It had roughly 100 pill bottles and an insult immediately came to mind, “Hey Eddie, these your birth control pills?”

“Yeah, I’m saving them for your sister,” Eddie said annoyed. He walked over and shut the cabinet.

For some reason, this comeback made Richie’s stomach turn. His little sister, Jane, is 1 year younger than him and she has the biggest crush on Eddie. Which would be fine…if Richie was not secretly dating Eddie.

Jane has never directly said she likes Eddie but Richie could tell. It is always ‘Eddie is so sweet’ or ‘Eddie told me my outfit looks beautiful’ or ‘I wonder if Eddie would take me to Homecoming?’ It took every fiber of Richie’s being to not blurt out that Eddie and he were going on a date instead of Homecoming. That he was the one dating Eddie. He could not come out to his sister without making sure Eddie was ok with it.

Now to get up the courage to actually tell Eddie all this. He might be better off keeping it to himself.

“Richie? You ok?” Eddie waved a hand in his face to get his attention. Richie looked at him. His concerned and calculating eyes trying to read his thoughts. Richie felt a surge of affection hit him.

He took a step forward making Eddie step back into the kitchen counter. Richie brought his face forward, close enough for them to kiss. Eddie’s eyes flickered from the kitchen door to Richie’s mouth, clearly conflicted about whether to chance their lips meeting. Their noses bumped and Richie’s lips brushed Eddie’s lightly. Then Richie whispered, “Right as rain Eddie Spaghetti.” His candy breath blowing in his face.

The moment was broken as Eddie pushed him back, “I hate it when you call me that stupid nickname.” He picked up his fanny pack from a table and clicked it on, “Let’s fucking go to your place already.”

Richie did not want that, “Why don’t we just hang out here?”

Eddie looked at him warily, “We can’t if Mom walked in on us making out. That would be the end.”

“Yeah, because she would be so angry I was cheating on her,” Richie smirked.

Eddie made a horrified face, “You’re disgusting. You said your parents weren’t around today, right?”

Yeah, but my sister is around and she’s in love with you. Richie thought bitterly. He loved how Eddie and him being together was a special secret between them. It made the thrill of possibly getting caught exhilarating. It was also a little sad that they could not let anyone know, but being sad was something Richie pushed to the furthest part of his mind anyway. However, his sister being around with her huge crush on Eddie always made him want to blurt out the secret and tell her to get lost.

“Fine, let’s go.” Richie conceded.

When they got to his place, Jane was sitting on the couch watching television. She looked up lazily as he walked in first, then her entire being glowed with happiness at seeing Eddie.

“Eddie! Hi!” Jane ran over to him, pushing past Richie, to give Eddie a bone-crushing hug. It made Richie’s blood boil.

When she released him, Eddie smiled at her sweetly. “Is that a new headband? It looks great with your curls!”

“Do you really like it?” She ran a hand through her brown locks and batted her eyelashes.

“Obviously he does. That’s why he commented on it.” Richie grumbled.

She shot him a classic Jane piercing glare then turned back to Eddie. “Do you want to watch movies with me? I was just about to put in Ghostbusters.”

Richie frowned at her, “You don’t even like Ghostbusters.”

“I could like it!” She growled. Richie swore Jane was trying to throw him with her mind.

“We can watch something you like, Jane,” Eddie suggested quickly to avoid a fight. Richie watched as his sister’s face melted at Eddie’s thoughtfulness.

“Let’s watch The Breakfast Club!” She said excitedly.

“Sounds great,” Eddie agreed. “Good with you, Richie?”

“Just peachy.” Richie sighed.

Richie and Eddie sat on the couch next to each other while Jane went to the kitchen for snacks. They were playing with each other’s fingers gently before Richie dipped his head forward to kiss Eddie fast and sloppily. Eddie’s mouth moved against his in confusion. Then they deepened the kiss with Richie clinging to Eddie desperately.

Richie could smell the popcorn Jane was making and decided now was a good time to tell Eddie about her crush. He pulled away and looked at Eddie guarded, “Eddie,” Richie began.

“What’s up?” Eddie said running his thumb over Richie’s swollen lips, smiling to himself dreamily.

“I have to tell you something about Jane.” His throat felt dry and he was suddenly nervous.

Eddie brought his hand away to focus properly, “Ok…”

“I’m pretty sure that she um…that she…” Richie could not believe he was having so much difficulty telling Eddie. He told Eddie everything. What made this different? If Eddie knew about his sister liking him, would he break up with Richie? After all, dating a girl would be a lot easier for him. His mom would love it as opposed to his stupid ass.

“Richie just tell me what’s—“

“Got the popcorn!” Jane sang. The two of them scooted a little away from each other and tried to look casual on the couch.

“And Eggo waffles I see.” Eddie laughed.

“It’s all she eats.” Richie rolled his eyes.

“He’s not wrong, move over Richie.” Jane made her way to sit in between them.

“Why? Just sit in the empty spot next to me.” Richie said frustratedly.

“I want to sit next to Eddie.” She complained.

“Richie it’s fine.” Eddie laughed. Jane wiggled her way in the middle and handed the popcorn to Eddie, offering none to Richie.

Jane started the movie. They were quiet most of the time, Richie sulking in his corner on the couch. 

About half-way through the movie, Jane turned toward Eddie and asked, “Will you go to Homecoming with me?”

“What?” Eddie said in confusion.

“I don’t have a date to homecoming, will you please go with me?” Jane asked this time nervously. Richie’s hands had become fists and he was ready to chew out Jane.

“I can’t, I’m sorry. Richie and I have a date that night.” It left Eddie’s mouth before he could stop himself. “Oh my god…” Eddie’s face started to turn red.

Jane looked at him then whipped her head toward Richie for an explanation.

Richie had nothing to say. He was absolutely speechless. The end of the world must be here because Richie Tozier had lost the ability to speak.

His eyes shot to Eddie’s both of them completely in shock.

Jane decided to break the silence keeping her eyes on Richie. “Rich…are you two dating?” She said it slowly letting it process. Richie looked at her and she did not seem angry or upset, just wanted him to confirm.

Richie slowly nodded his head.

“THAT IS AMAZING!” She shrieked. Their surprise turned to horror at her excitement. She put her arms around both their shoulders and pulled them toward her in a huge hug. Their heads knocked together but they were smiling and laughing.

“How long?!” She asked. “I want every detail! I am so happy for you two!”

“You aren’t…jealous or mad?” Richie asked hesitantly.

“I am absolutely jealous. I have had the biggest crush on Eddie since you two met.” Jane laughed. “But I have wanted you together just as long. I had a feeling Eddie did not play for my team.”

“Am I so obviously gay?” Eddie frowned.

Jane’s eyes shifted toward Eddie mischievously, “You literally stare at Richie’s ass every time you hang out.” Eddie’s face turned even redder than before.

“I KNEW IT!” Richie cheered.

“Anyway…” Eddie said hurriedly. “Thank you for being understanding, Jane. Don’t tell your parents until Richie feels ready. And Richie I am so sorry I outted us.”

“It’s fine, I was literally about to do it.” Richie shrugged.

“Ok, so details. Go!” Jane shouted.

They spent the rest of the day talking and laughing. Richie and Eddie feeling at ease for once about their special secret.